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#look at our cute assassin
innerwomen · 2 months
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Terms and conditions.
Pairing: Fiancé!Bruce Wayne x (female) Reader x Batboys
SUMMARY: Your about to become the ninth member of the Wayne family, but first the boys have some terms and conditions.
TYPE: Fluff/Crack.
WARNINGS: mention of pregnancy.
When Bruce and you announced to the boys that you were engaged, they had some requirements…
“Eh-hem” Damien said as he stood in front of you and Bruce who were sitting on the couch. “First and foremost, congratulations Y/n.” He says to you, then looks at Bruce. “Father, I didn’t know you had it in you.” Next to him, his three older brothers stood.
“What the meaning of all this, Damien?” Bruce asks skeptically.
“Though we, oh-so-love, you and Y/n’s relationship, we have some conditions before you both say ‘I do’ at the alter.” Jason says as he hands you and your fiancé a paper.
“Is this a contract?” You say in disbelief.
“Utterly and completely legal one at that.” Tim confirms.
“How did you even do this? And who gave you permission to get a lawyer and-”
“Father, please. You have an assassin, a vigilante, a superhero and a nerd as sons. We can legalize a contract.” By the way Damien speaks, you know this was his idea.
“Am I the superhero?”
“No, Tim, your the nerd.”
Bruce stands up, “As cute as this is, me and Y/n are grown ups and can decide for ourselves our own boundaries in our marriage.”
Dick push’s Bruce back down to his spot on the couch next to you, “These aren’t boundaries for you two, it boundaries we have for you towards us.”
“Bruce let’s just hear them out, we don’t have to sign them right now or at all,” you wanted to know these boundaries because as the ‘new parent’ you needed to know where you stood with the boys.
“Thank you, Y/n. Finally some sense in this family.” Damien says. “First on the list…. We ask you both be two responsible grown beings when succumbing to your carnal desires and evidentially spending your nights together.”
You choke. “What?”
“Why did you say it in old English?” Jason asks Damien, “he means, please for the small remaining peace of this household, don’t get pregnant.”
Bruce throws the paper and abruptly stands, “OKAY, that’s enough of whatever this was.”
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buckyalpine · 5 months
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A one shot where Bucky doesn’t like the reader and makes her life at the compound a little rough? Like enemies (maybe to lover or friends?) and she is like the sunshine personality 🥺🥺🥺
I live for this shit This type of angst where he's mean and finds her annoying even though she's a sweetheart, ugh, yes. YES.
Bucky groaned, trying to ignore the shooting pain that seared in his abdomen, clutching an old t-shirt to stop the bleeding from the stab wound he'd received during his latest mission.
"You good there, terminator?" Sam cocked an eyebrow watching Bucky unconvincingly nod, grunting a half assed yes before squeezing his eyes shut and flopping back on the seat.
"You're gonna need stiches" Steve snorted, shaking his head at his stubborn friend.
"I'm fine" Bucky gritted out, preferring to bleed out on the jet instead of going to the med bay where he'd be surrounded by doctors and needles and if he was really unlucky, you.
"Seriously? That's the second shirt you've bled through, I don't think the serum's gonna cut it, punk" Steve sighed, knowing how Bucky felt about getting medical care but it wasn't like he had a choice. As soon as the jet landed, Bucky was shoved in the direction of the medical wing, pouting and grumpy as he limped with Steve supporting him. Bucky frowned when Steve pushed him to lay down on the examination table, grumbling and wincing under his breath.
"You stay here. I'm gonna finish writing up our reports, don't go sneaking off" Steve chuckled, giving his friend's shoulder a squeeze before leaving. The soldier stared up at the florescent lights, his eyes anxiously darting about the room, hoping and praying that at the very least he wouldn't have to deal with-
"Good afternoon Bucky!"
For fucks sake.
Bucky groaned at the chirpy voice that piped up from the door, his brows knotted together from frustration.
He hated it. You'd ask about his day as if he wasn't there go get sewn up. You'd talk to him like you'd known him for years, almost oblivious to the fact that he was a former brain washed assassin. Every time he saw you, you were so giggly and pretty and bouncy and cute and happy and it irked his soul because it was to the point it was unnecessary. I mean you were just so kind and sweet to everyone as if everyone deserved such amazingness from such a wonderful person, okay that's enough Bucky.
The world wasn't fucking sunshine and rainbows and he had no idea why you acted like it was.
"Steve said you needed a few stitches so-
"Where's Dr. Cho" Bucky cut you off, hoping anyone else would help him so he could get on with his day, willing to take the needle and thread himself instead of having you do it while talking his ear off.
"Oh, she's with another patient right now but it's fine, I promise I'll get you out of here soon, do you mind if I remove your vest-
"Yeah, I got it" Bucky huffed, wincing to get his gear off but you stopped him, urging him to stay down.
"No, it's okay, I just wanted to make sure you're okay with it, I'll cut it off, don't worry"
Bucky nodded, lying back down while you grabbed a tray with medical supplied, carefully cutting around the blood soaked material and discarding it. You cleaned the area, mumbling apologies incase the alcohol caused any pain, moving on to closing the cut.
"I heard about the mission you all went on. I can't even imagine going through all that, it sounded terrifying. You're very brave Sargent" You smiled, tossing your gloves aside after patching Bucky up. Bucky grunted as he hopped off the table without a word, ready to whack Steve on the head for telling you of all people he needed help.
"If you need anything else, let me know! Just get some rest for a few days, it'll heal soon-
"I know" Bucky walked out of the room without looking back, his shoulders relaxing when he was far away from he med wing. There was truly no reason for him to be this annoyed but he was tired, in pain and he knew for a fact there would be a pile of papers for him to fill out in the conference room.
You didn't take Bucky's grumpy attitude to heart, understanding the stress that came with going on missions, getting injured every time coupled with the fact that he was probably still healing from his own past. You put away the supplies before taking a coffee break, running into a very excited Tony along the way.
"Hey cupcake, just who I was looking for, do you like chocolate or vanilla"
"Tony, I told you, you don't have to-
"That doesn't answer the question. Pick one or the other or both or another flavor, all the flavours, but give me something"
You giggled at the way he looked at you expectantly, sighing seeing as he wouldn't let up until you answered.
"I'm not picky, you know I'd love anything. Get something everyone would like, seriously, I don't even need all this, I'm just the nurse-
"Stop that right now, there's no one else like you" Tony huffed, planting a quick kiss your head before texting his caterers about everything he wanted, ensuring everything was perfect, especially when it came to you.
-
You woke up to the sun streaming through the curtains, stretching before getting out of bed and padding over to the bathroom to go through your morning routine. You had the day off, throwing on your joggers instead of your typical scrubs and making your way down to the kitchen, grabbing ingredients for baking.
You hummed, scooping out spoons of cookie batter, plopping it onto the tray and throwing it into the oven, cleaning up the area in between, waiting for the oven timer to go off. You set the chocolate chip cookies onto a tray, piping the last bit of icing onto the top and sweeping away the smidges of frosting that got onto the counter.
Bucky blinked at the smell of baking, making his way to the kitchen for some water after a run. He groaned, nearly walking right back out when he saw you singing to yourself, arranging cookies in a circle, each one decorated for a different person in the tower.
"Good morning Bucky" You smiled while he mumbled, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, "I-I made made cookies for everyone, did you want one?" You asked hopefully, looking at the little dog tags you'd piped on the cookie you made for him while he shrugged in response.
"Why do you keep trying so hard, do you not have any friends?" Bucky scoffed, ignoring the fresh plate of cookies that sat on the counter, not caring that your face had fallen. He wanted to strike a nerve, feeling a sick satisfaction at the way you silenced yourself, giving him the peace and quiet he wanted.
"S-sorry, I just thought-
"You thought what?" Buck cocked an eyebrow, the tick in his jaw making your stomach churn.
"Nothing, sorry" You mumbled, turning back to continue cleaning while he chugged the rest of the bottle. "I've just leave them here if you want one later on-
"No, I don't want one now and I don't think I'll want one later either" Bucky glared at you, tired of you always trying to do things for others as if anyone asked.
"I-I'm sorry I didn't-" you bit your lip hard to keep from crying, not wanting to annoy Bucky more.
"Why do you always act like everything great? Like we don't come back from almost dying, risking our lives while you go about like the world is perfect"
"I just-I didn't mean-
"You didn't mean what, to be annoying? Did anyone even ask for this?" Bucky nodded to the cookies while you shook your head, feeling ridiculous and embarrassed, not realizing others also probably found you annoying.
"I-it was my birthday, I thought-" you sniffled, choking back a whimper, "I wanted to do something nice - never mind" You bit your lip to keep from breaking down, blinking back tears as you scurried off to your room, without looking back.
The initial satisfaction Bucky was short lived as he stood in the now empty kitchen, tossing the bottle aside. The plate caught his eye once more as he walked by, reluctantly stopping to look at each one, your skilled hands decorating each one with clean details. He instantly spotting the one you made for him which had been dusted with silver just like his tags; he had no idea how you managed to get his name and number piped to precisely.
Not that it mattered.
Bucky continued to make his way to the gym, feeling a little bad that he made you cry but he figured you'd get over soon enough, after all that seemed to be your strong suit, you were always happy and smiling anyway.
-
"You're coming tonight, right?" Steve dropped the weights he was curling while Bucky frowned, unsure of what the captain was referring to.
"Why, what's tonight" Bucky grunted, still in the middle of his set.
"Seriously, Tony told us like a month ago"
"Yeah, fine" Bucky huffed, not really caring what it was about, knowing he'd be dragged to go regardless. He finished the rest of his workout, retreating back to his room to shower. He flopped onto his bed after, grabbing a book from his bedside table seeing as there was still plenty of time till he had to get ready.
The book had been a Christmas present from you and as much as he hated to admit it, it was perfect and one of his favorites. He tried to focus on the words, feeling bad again thinking about how your face had fallen earlier when all you did was offer him a cookie.
Maybe he went a little overboard with his reaction...
Bucky shook the guilt he felt, hoping that you'd be running around somewhere getting ready for whatever tonight was.
-
"Where's y/n" Sam looked around the room seeing everyone else present but you, the night in full swing seeing as Tony had gone all out as usual "I swear she said she'd be here, this is literally her birthday party"
"I didn't see her" Nat frowned, putting down the drink she was sipping on, scanning the room again, "Now that I think about it, I haven't seen her all day"
Bucky felt a deep pang in his chest when he realized the party was for you, his stomach twisting in knots.
"Where's our birthday girl" Steve asked as he joined the others, the guilt making Bucky feel even more sick. He ran a hand over his face while the others continued to wonder where you were. "I hope she isn't working, she deserves a day off, she already worked over time for 3 months straight when we were running back to back missions"
Bucky remembered that.
They'd all been sent out on missions spread across different months and you'd been the one on call to patch them up the entire time. You hadn't complained once even through you were thoroughly sleep deprived. At the time Bucky was annoyed you were in such an upbeat mood when they were all scraping by but you had been struggling yourself.
"I fucked up" Bucky groaned, feeling awful for how he'd treated you in the morning and for how he'd been acting towards you in general.
"Why, what did you do" Steve's face twisted in confusion while Bucky's face reddened in embarrassment. Steve was aware Bucky complained about you but he figured it was because his bestfriend got flustered around the pretty nurse, he'd seen Bucky get tongue tied plenty of times whenever you walked by.
"You were a grumpy asshole to y/n, weren't you" Sam frowned seeing Bucky's guilty face. The soldier didn't say another word, leaving the group to find you instead, debating on getting Steve to clock him in the jaw first. Bucky ran to the elevator, pushing the button to your floor, hoping he'd see you making your way down, only to find the hallway empty. His heart broke hearing the soft sniffles coming from your room, the door closed. He gently knocked on the door, your cries quieting down as if you'd silenced yourself to pretend you were asleep instead of opening the door.
"Y/n?" Bucky called for you only to be met with more silence, "Can-can you please open the door?" His heart started to beat faster when he head your footsteps approaching the door, clicking the lock open; you were still in your joggers from earlier, your face puffy from crying.
All because of him.
"Sorry, I fell asleep" you lied, keeping your face trained on your feet, worried Bucky had come to yell at you about the party Tony had thrown for you, "and I'm sorry about the party, you didn't have to go if you didn't want to, I promise I didn't tell Tony you had to come, I know you don' like me-
"No, no baby no, stop" Bucky hushed you, his heart breaking when your voice cracked, rambling out apologies. His body moved on its own, wrapping his arms around you while you started to cry again, rocking you while holding you to his chest. "Please don't cry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you have nothing to apologize for doll, nothing at all"
Bucky held you tightly while your body shook, feeling sick with himself for how he'd been treating you. You'd never been anything short of sweet and he'd made a point of always letting you know he couldn't care less. He lifted you in his arms, walking over to your bed, sitting down with you in his lap, ready to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness.
"I didn't mean to be so annoying" You shrugged, fidgeting with your fingers, the light that always made your eyes twinkle dimmed from Bucky's words.
"Y/n, please, no" Bucky whispered, pleading with you to stop. "Don't doll. It was never ever you, please let me apologize. I've been awful to you, you've done nothing wrong. You've always been an angel, sweets, it's me whose been an annoying asshole. I don't deserve your kindness but that's never stopped you from giving it to me when I least deserved it"
"You deserve kindness Bucky" you gave him a small smile, one that didn't meet your eyes and Bucky felt his eyes sting. Even when he was the one in the wrong, you were still comforting him with your sweetness.
"Y/n, I don't know anyone that deserves the sort of kindness you give. I don't know anyone that would deserve someone as wonderful as you. You're a light for everyone when its dark. I was a fuckin' idiot for everything I've ever said to you. That isn't an excuse for how I've been treating you doll, I know that. It's just- I've been awful to you and you've never done anything wrong. I'm truly sorry sweets"
"Its okay Bucky" You whispered, reaching up to wipe the tear that streaked down his face, your cheeks heating up when you realized you were still in his lap, "S-sorry, I didn't realize-
Bucky shook his head, holding you securely in his lap, not wanting to let you go.
"You have nothing to apologize for, pretty girl" Bucky shrugged, loosening his hold in case you wanted to get off but your doe eyes darted around instead, settling further in his lap. "You really are like sunshine"
"You're very charming, Sargent" you smiled bashfully while Bucky chuckled, his heart beating erratically in his chest when your hands came up to toy with the tags that hung around his neck.
"Would it-would it be if I kissed you?" He whispered shyly, blushing when you nodded, pressing his soft lips to yours. Bucky took his time kissing you, pouring every ounce of his feelings with soft touches, holding onto you like porcelain.
"Everyone's waiting for you sweets" Bucky gave you a gentle squeeze, tilting your chin up to meet his eyes, hoping that you'd still want to go to your own party. "Would you like to go downstairs?"
You slinked off Bucky's lap to get ready, the soldier watching you with heart eyes the entire time you did your hair and makeup. He knew he had a lot to make up for, starting with the fact that he'd never hurt you again. He was still upset with himself for ever hurting you in the first place but he was ready to protect your innocent heart for the rest of his life. His breath hitched in his throat when you finished applying the last of your gloss, blushing when you slipped your hand into his so he could lead you down.
"Theres our cupcake!" Tony grinned when he saw you approaching, the rest of the team cheering making you giggle. Steve smirked seeing Bucky follow closely behind you in protective mode, keeping his hand around your waist. He spent the entire time, doting on you, following you like a lost puppy.
By the end of the night, he had you in his lap again, shamelessly looking at you with heart eyes while the rest of the team watched curiously, his sole focus on you.
"Happy birthday sweet girl" Bucky whispered, pressing a kiss to your cheek while you nuzzled into him with a shy smile, "My little sunshine"
-
Now imagine Bucky doesn't quickly get over the fact that he was a dick. Sure you forgave him because you're an absolute sweetheart but Bucky can't even deal with the way he'd acted, especially when he had a crush on you the entire time and just refused to acknowledge it, acting like a cunt instead.
He's the most lovestuck boyfriend to ever exist. Your office is always full of fresh flowers. He's a clingy little puppy, outside of the medwing until your done, always finding excuses to sneak in and see you. You had to tell him a papercut wasn't a good enough reason for him to request your services.
Neither was a stubbed toe.
The time he nicked himself while shaving was the worst because he was pouty until you kissed him better.
He slips his dog tags around you, his possessive/jealous side occasionally sneaking out.
He doesn't even hide the fact that he's a simp for you, knowing he's the luckiest person on the planet to get the sweetest person in the world. He shows your off like no tomorrow, proud of the angel he gets to call his.
He absolutely loved his sunshine.
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sanazakis · 2 months
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mrs. & mrs. hirai
hirai momo x fem!reader
synopsis: you, an assassin, find out you’ve been married to another assassin for the better half of a decade. 
tags: mr. & mrs. smith inspired ; assassin!au ; momo runs you over with a car ; it got really soft, i’m not sorry ; smut ; angst ; fluff ; violence warning ; mentions of guns ; anything else i’ve missed ; not proofread!!
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when you go into the office, you’re already in an awful mood. you’re one of the best in your field with over fifty kills under your belt. you’ve never had any issues with the target until last week. that asshole—some assassin from another firm, no doubt–totally cut off your view and the target escaped. you tried to catch up, but it was too late. now, the target was in high-security lockdown and the chances of killing him are slim to none.
jihyo had told you to take a few days to cool off so the team could investigate what went wrong with your approach. you’d grabbed some coffee for yourself from downstairs, so you got one for jihyo too. she smiles gratefully as she takes a sip of the proffered drink. “you holding up?”
“yeah, still pissed though. i almost had him.” you complain as you plop down in your seat. “morning.”
“morning.” she tosses it back as she goes through her papers. “so, we’ll walk through some of the stuff the team found but i have something better. this is your next assignment.” jihyo pushes the folder in front of you. “it’s the bitch that fucked up our last assignment. that firm has been going after too many of our targets so it’s time to take out the competition.”
thank god, something productive to do and somewhere to channel your frustration with the whole mission. you open the folder and stare. and stare. you then look up at your friend and glare at her. “that’s not funny, jihyo.”
she shoots you a confused glance. “what’s not funny?”
you put your finger on the huge printout on the front page. “that’s— that’s my wife!” it could be no other but momo looking up at you, stone-cold serious in all black, looking how you’ve never seen her before.
jihyo purses her lip. “cute, y/n.” she rolls her eyes. “that’s not your wife, that’s the competition. we need to take her out. she’s not good for business.”
you stand up in your agitation, pacing the room. “jihyo, this isn’t a joke.”
she stares for a few moments until she can tell you’re serious. her eyes widen almost comically. “wait, really? that’s your wife?” her eyes dart to the picture.
“yes! that’s momo!” you’d know her face anywhere. momo isn’t an assassin—she works for some tech company where she does a load of things you barely understand. there’s no way she’s hidden this from you.
“no way.” jihyo takes a closer look. “she’s really hot.” her eyes narrow on you. “are you sure that’s your wife?”
“yes!” you hiss, your hand coming down to strike the table. “you’ve never seen my wife. why wouldn’t she be hot?” you ask, momentarily sidetracked.
“well, if she was this hot i’d have questions. you know no one is this hot without some skeletons in their closet. which apparently, might also be a hired gun.” jihyo eyes you warily. “besides, you kind of just complain about her, y/n. i kind of imagined her i don’t know... frumpy?”
guilt tugs at your gut. you do love momo, even if things have been difficult for a long time. you married her because you loved momo and she was also great in bed and a good cover. still, seven years of marriage have worn on the two of you, and the spark you both used to have seemed lost. still, that didn’t mean she had a whole secret life.
you shake the thoughts out of your head. “whatever. the point is, what am i supposed to do? i’ve been sleeping next to an assassin for the better part of a decade?”
“i mean, isn’t she sleeping next to an assassin every night?”
“yeah, but it’s not the same— jihyo.” you lower your voice. “i won’t kill her. i can’t. she’s everything to me, even if were in a rut.” momo floated the idea of marriage counseling just last week. it seemed like the two of you might have bigger problems than that now.
“the hit has been issued though.” jihyo points out the obvious. you have never refused a hit—it’s not something that goes well in this industry.
“just give me some time? please?” jihyo is your co-worker but she’s also your closest friend. one doesn’t get far in this industry without someone to count on and for you, that’s jihyo.
jihyo sighs and bites her lip. “just hang low and let’s see if i can work something up with the team. maybe there’s an error.” she allows. “you relax and try to figure out if your babe of a wife kills people for money.”
your eyes narrow. “hey, you might be a hired gun but that doesn’t mean you can talk about her like that.”
jihyo gives you a saccharine smile. “oh, that was purely because she’s hot. see you later y/n!”
you shake your head and roll your eyes. “thanks, jihyo.” you head to your office. it looks like it’s going to be another paperwork day while you stew over this.
when you go home that night you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. you remember to take off your shoes at the door and put on the slippers that momo always lays out for you. you take a deep breath, unsure how you’re going to act normal. when you go into the kitchen, there’s momo. like always, she’s cooking, putting the finishing touches on something that smells amazing. you lean against the entryway, staring at her.
she’s always been beautiful, that was never a question in your mind from the first time you saw her when you were on a mission in bogotá. today, she’s wearing a baby blue dress that hugs her figure, and a white apron that is pristinely clean. momo’s clean and loves order, is a tremendous cook, and has a dry, if subdued, sense of humor. you know her pretty well, you think. could she really be hiding something so big from you?
momo finally catches you staring and sends you a soft smile. “hey, you. dinner is almost ready.” she walks up to you and presses a perfunctory kiss to your lips like she does every day that you come home.
“hey. it smells great.” you pull momo close, and she lets out a surprised yelp, not expecting the affection.
you look down into momo’s eyes, both eyes brown. except in the picture you received at work, she was wearing contacts to make both her eyes blue. but it’s the same face. it has to be her. you pull momo in for a hug, feeling her pressed in your arms. momo hesitantly returns it, one hand rubbing up and down your back.
“are you alright, baby?” she sounds genuinely concerned and you wonder if that’s real or if it’s a lie too. momo’s studying your face a little too intently.
you’ve been lying just as long and as well. “i’m fine. just stress at work. you know how it is.” you shrug, one of your hands squeezing momo’s waist.
momo laughs you off. “yeah, i know how that can be. although i think your job is a little more difficult than mine.” if you weren’t looking for it, you might miss the sardonic twitch of momo’s lips. she spins around and starts tending to the food again, this time serving plates.
“do you need help with anything?” you offer.
momo shakes her head, already moving things to the table. “no, i’m good. just sit down so we can eat.”
the table is artfully done, all of the cutlery just so. the handle of the knife is cold to your touch as you pick it up, holding it a little tighter than usual. you cut into your steak like butter. have your knives always been this sharp? you’ve never noticed before.
“we need to replace that curtain.” momo reminds you as she works on her own food, her eyes glancing up at the big bay windows in the living room. she’s sitting at the far end of the dining table, miles of distance between you both.
you couldn’t give three shits about the curtains. “sure.” you agree readily.
momo narrows her eyes, which in your experience, can only mean trouble. “i asked you to look at the options i picked three days ago.”
the only sound is cutlery touching the plates as you study her face. “i looked at them.” you lie. “i liked the second one.” that seems inoffensive enough.
“what color was it?” she challenges, eyes bright.
you stop moving your fork in your mashed potatoes. “what?”
she leans forward in her chair, propping her elbow on the table. “what color was it, y/n?”
you consider her for a moment. momo never really angers with you—but maybe she does. maybe you know nothing about her after all. “blue.” you toss out.
a look of clear irritation passes her face but then it’s gone, shuttering away. “you must mean the green. i’ll order it tonight.”
youre sawing at your steak now. “sounds lovely.”
momo turns back to her food, and you do the same. it feels like a thick fog of tension has rolled over you both—every time your eyes catch, they dart away, minding your food and your wine glasses.
a thought strikes you as you take in the careful way that momo regards you. if momo’s cover is blown, then so is yours probably. but there’s no way to be sure. at least, it’s not something you’ll discover over a dinner conversation.
you walk to the middle of the table, picking up the bottle of wine that’s there. you quietly pad over to momo. she looks at you, a tightness in her eyes that hadn’t really left since the two of you started dinner. just as you reach momo, you stop, pouring her glass full of wine.
you don’t bother to look at the glass, instead staring at momo. she gives you an even stare back, leaning back and gripping the arms of her chair.
“thank you.” she murmurs quietly as you finish.
you don’t bother responding instead letting go of the bottle suddenly. in a flash, momo’s arm springs forward, catching the bottle before it hits the ground. if you thought things were tense before, it doesn’t even begin to compare to now. you can feel the realization sink in your gut—it’s momo. momo, the hired gun that fucked up your last assignment, your next target—all of it is momo.
“lucky catch,” you say, even though the two of you both know it’s not true.
momo drops the bottle as if it burned her, red wine staining the white rug.
“clumsy me.” she gets out of her seat. “i need something in the kitchen to clean this up.” momo turns quickly, her steps measured but fast as she walks away.
you walk toward your office just as quickly. you can just tell that there’s no going back and momo is a hostile threat the same way she was on the tarmac last week. you find one of your guns hidden in the drawer, drawing it and holding it out in front of you. you’ll be damned if you let momo kill you.
as you creep along the wall slipping out of your office, you think you must be losing your mind. but there was no feigning the knowledge in momo’s eyes, the caught look when she used cat-like reflexes you didn’t even know she had.
“honey?” you call out loudly, hoping to catch momo unaware. you hear the rev of the engine and curse when you see momo’s car pelting out of your driveway.
“fuck!” you run after her, knowing that your only chance is to cut through the backyards and hope you catch up to her. there’s no way you can start up your car in time. after a split second, you’re running full tilt out of the house, gun in hand. you pray the neighbors don’t see.
you cut through one yard and catch sight of momo’s taillights. “momo!” you bellow out. “we need to talk about this!” it’s ridiculous to think you’ll take the bounty on momo’s head—the both of you just need to figure this out. you both are married, for as much as its worth now. even if you both lied to each other, you’re not going to murder her.
momo’s car keeps revving forward, and you make the decision to cut through another yard. your lungs burn as the cold air cuts through them. you grunt as you hop up, hitting your gut on the fence as you swing over. you’re actually ahead of momo’s car now which is a relief.
as you pull yourself over the fence, your grip on the gun tightens and you feel the recoil as you accidentally pull the trigger. you look up at momo’s car pulled to a full stop, a hole in the windshield. it takes you a moment to realize your bullet put it there. your heart clenches as you look at momo through the window, checking to see if she’d been hurt. she isn’t, but her eyes are tightened to near slits and her mouth drops open in outrage as she stares at the bullet hole.
your stomach drops. “fuck, fuck, fuck.” this is going to be worse than the time you forgot momo’s mom’s birthday.
you make your way in front of the car slowly, hands up in surrender. “baby, let’s talk about all this.” you give her a tentative smile. momo’s expression doesn’t change, and she revs the engine. “momo,” you say sternly. “you can’t just run me—”
getting hit by a car is worse than you anticipated, especially when momo doesn’t stop. you barely get a grip on the roof of the car, holding on as the car careens forward. “momo.” you spit out but you’re sure it gets lost in the wind. you bang your hand on the windshield, but it does no good either.
you hear the door open, and snaps shut. by the time you turn to look back, momo is rolling on the ground and you’re still hanging off of the roof of her car. “momo! this isn’t how were supposed to—”
you feel your body fly off the roof, and onto the ground with a thud that rattles your bones. you take a deep breath and feel your vision blur. you try to fight it, but you lose consciousness on the hard ground.
you knock quietly on jihyo’s door. there’s nowhere else that’s safe for you to go, especially in the middle of the night. you obviously can’t go back home.
she’s bleary-eyed when she answers but the moment jihyo takes you in, her eyes are wide and she’s on full alert. “what happened to you?”
“my wife.” you walk in, your whole body aching. you’d woken up with what you assume is a concussion and a searing headache. not to mention a ton of twigs in your hair.
“you look like a car ran you over.”
you let out a harsh laugh. “it did.”
she opens her door wider, gesturing for you to come in. “oh. yeah, sit down i’m going to get the first aid kit.”
you stare into space as you hear jihyo shuffling about. you knew it from the moment you saw the picture, but it still feels impossible. “i can’t believe she lied to me.” momo is always going on about honesty, about trying for your relationship. and yet, she was living a whole other life.
jihyo scoffs as she tends to a cut on your cheek. “really? not like you were the most honest person in that relationship.”
“it’s different!” you insist. “i married her because i loved her.” momo didn’t want to talk, and she ran you over with her car. the moment her cover was blown, it’s like she didn’t care at all.
you shake your head. your marriage hadn’t always been like this. you remember days when the two of you first got together, when the two of you lay naked in bed all day, touching each other with gentleness and passion. sure, the two of you married young and it was convenient for you—you needed a cover—but you love momo. or at least, whoever you thought momo to be.
“look, you should get some rest. you’re clearly upset.” she advises. “and probably a shower before that.”
“upset? my wife wants to kill me, jihyo.”
“you don’t know that.” she grabs a towel out of a utility closet and hands it to you.
you hold the towel lightly between your hands. “she ran me over with a car. how else do you interpret that?” you shake your head. “besides, if my firm issued her out as a target to me, i bet you anything her firm did the same.” the two of you are stuck in a loop that’ll probably only end with one of you dead or on the run.
“maybe she’s as confused as you are. vulnerable. she probably didn’t know about you either.” she reminds you as she shepherds you to the bathroom.
“well, she didn’t seem very vulnerable—” you hiss as your face stings from the ointment jihyo roughly applies. “—when she hit me with her car.”
“you seem really offended by the car thing.” you balk and jihyo holds up a hand. “shower and sleep. i’m not dealing with this nonsense at two in the morning.”
you and jihyo search for momo for two days and the two of you can’t find anything. her office has moved, and her car isn’t there when you’ve driven by the house. jihyo has been coordinating with the team at the firm, pulling on those resources too to try and find her. it takes you that amount of time to gather the courage to go back into your house. 
you have your gun out and pointed to the ground as you walk in. you feel strangely emotional as you walk in, slowly passing by all the rooms the two of you lived your lives together in. something catches your eye—the curtains are different. it’s the green that momo had mentioned. 
“why would she come back and change the curtains?” you mutter under your breath. another thought comes to you. “she’d already bought the stupid things before asking my opinion.” it’s so like momo to just take over something like that, only asking for approval after the fact. why even ask you what you thought? she practically decorated the house single-handedly anyway. you set aside your annoyance as you get to your bedroom. 
at first, nothing looks truly out of place. your eye catches something in the corner of the room. you peer inside the trash can and swallow a lump in your throat. with shaky hands you pull out what you find in it, hoping it’s not what you think. your gut drops. it’s the videotape of your honeymoon, tossed away as if it were nothing. momo had definitely been back to the house and with this, she’s made a statement. you look to momo’s side of the closet and there are clothes missing.
you open one of momo’s drawers, finding a stack of her lingerie. your eyes catch on a black one that you bought her to celebrate your fifth wedding anniversary. you remember the night well—the two of you hadn’t fought at all, you and momo spent the night together, laughing and kissing. you pull out the soft nightie, something panging in your chest.
“she’s not really your wife.” you murmur to yourself.
you have to accept the fact that you don’t know momo. you’re fighting for your life now and momo is a stranger, not the woman you’d sworn your life to. if this upheaval has taught you something, it’s that you can’t trust anything that you thought about your marriage. still, you’re weak and you miss momo. you’ve been missing momo for a long time now. you pull the soft fabric to your face, inhaling. it smells just like her. you shove it back in the drawer and close it.
you look at the nightstand on the side of the bed and notice momo’s phone is there. she’d probably picked up a new one. you pick it up and look through the recent calls, calling the last number. you hold your breath.
“golden real estate.” says a chipper voice on the line.
“hi, there i’m calling from hysteria industries.” you give the name of momo’s supposed employer.
“oh, of course! how are you liking the new space?” the voice fills with recognition.
you smile. you have a lead. “it’s working out just fine.” you lay back on your bed. “i have some furniture i need to ship, can you help me out with that?” you would find momo one way or another.
it only takes you another day to be ready to confront momo. you feel the elevator in the new golden real estate building stand still suddenly and you know you’ve been found by momo. you expected as much when you got in the elevator.
a deep voice comes through the speaker on the elevator. “it seems like your elevator has stopped functioning, ma’am. do you want me to send an engineer to see what the problem is?”
the voice isn’t just deep, its distorted. you grin. “no, i’m comfortable right here.” you offer flippantly.
there’s a pause. “is that sarcasm?”
you find the security camera in the corner and stare right at it. “i know it’s you, momo.”
“are you sure you’re comfortable, y/n?” the voice that comes through is husky and teasing—you could imagine that the two of you are in your room alone, instead of trapped in an elevator at momo’s mercy. you’d give anything to go back to a time like that.
“why don’t you come out here and face me? preferably without a car windshield between us.”
“no time for jokes, dear.” you lean your hands on the elevator walls, listening to momo’s voice. “this is your first and last warning, y/n. get out of town.”
you shake your head slowly. “you know i’m not going anywhere.”
“so, you say. but you’re dangling in a steel box with sixty stories of air beneath you.”
your eyebrows climb up your face. “oh, is this a trap then?”
“you think i’d be dumb enough to leave my phone for you to find with a sensitive number on it? i thought you were more than just a pretty face, baby.”
“well, at least you still think it’s pretty.” you quip. as if you didn’t suspect this was a trap from the start. “So what? you have a charge on the counterweight cable and two more on the brakes?” you list off all of the explosives you disabled before you got into the elevator. the silence runs long, and you know momo didn’t expect that of you. “whatever your plain is, it won’t work because you always underestimate me.”
“oh, i do?” momo sounds amused.
“you have no idea what i’m capable of.” you know that’s true, even if you don’t think you could stomach seriously hurting momo. momo always took over everything because she doesn’t think you’re able to do things.
“likewise, baby. did you check the base of the principal elevator cable?” you freeze—you hadn’t seen that. well, fuck. there’s a sigh that blows out of the speaker. “first and last warning, y/n.” she repeats again, this time more sternly. “promise to leave town, or i’ll blow it.”
you lift your hands up into the air. “alright, i give up. blow up the elevator.” despite all the evidence to the contrary, you refuse to believe momo will actually kill you. maybe you’re a fool but you refuse to believe there isn’t some truth to you both being together.
“excuse me?” momo’s voice is strained.
“do it. blow it up.”
“five... four...” her voice trails off. “i’ll do it.” it’s that stubborn tone she gets when the two of you are fighting about which china set to put out for a dinner party. you lean your head against the elevator wall for a moment, hiding your face. god, you miss her.
you look back into the camera and shoot it a smile, imagining momo on the other end. you wish you could see her. “come on now, momo. all talk?”
“any last words?” momo’s voice is smug over the telecom again.
“the new curtains are hideous.” you can’t help but get a dig in.
“goodbye, y/n.” there’s an echo of her laugh in the curl of her words. the elevator that’s rigged—the elevator that momo thinks you’re in—goes into a freefall.
you take a deep breath as you hear the thunderous noise of the elevator you’d been pretending to be in crash into the first floor. you’re about to unplug the cable you’d used to confuse the signals of the elevators, a deep disappointment in your bones. momo really doesn’t care.
just before the connection dies, you hear momo panicked voice come through the line “what the hell was that? i didn’t—”
you pull out the cable and stare at it, almost in wonder. it sounded like real fear, fear for you. maybe not everything is lost after all.
you stay low for a few days but then it’s christmas eve. part of you realizes that momo’s panic could have been for a number of reasons—it didn’t mean she wouldn’t have killed you. but the idea of her being alone on the holiday makes your heart clench. besides, you’re not planning on backing down and being on the run your whole life. when you found out momo made reservations at a familiar restaurant for the holiday, you buy a tailored suit and plans to surprise her there.
you’re glad you catch sight of momo before she sees you because it takes a moment for you to collect yourself. she’s in a dark slinky number with a neckline that shows off the slope of her collarbones. she’s staring vacantly ahead, a single shimmering tear on her cheek. almost angrily, she brushes it off and tilts back her champagne flute, demolishing the drink in one swig.
momo has her hand on the bottle when you come up right beside her. “you wouldn’t be getting all mushy because you killed me, right?”
for a moment, you’re worried momo is going to bash your head in with the champagne bottle from the way her hand tightens on it. you can see the genuine surprise as her eyes rake over you.
“how...?” her voice is barely a whisper, more of a sigh as she drinks you in.
you stuff your hands in your suit pockets, shrugging. “are you impressed?”
“amazed.” it doesn’t even sound sarcastic, and it makes your traitorous heart beat faster.
“amazed i’m still alive?” you make your way to the chair across from momo, sitting down.
she seems to get over her initial shock, jutting her chin up. “amazed you managed to tie your tie on your own.”
you bite your lip to keep in your smile. it was one of your favorite things when the two of you got married. momo would fuss over your tie, making sure it was perfect before pulling you close and giving you a sweet kiss. you can’t remember when she stopped doing that. “thanks, i’m full of surprises.”
momos still eyeing you with something akin to hunger now. “that suit is certainly one of them.”
“thanks.” you think of saying something about how fantastic momo looks but think better of it.
you shift the gun you brought out of your suit jacket and onto your lap. you can tell from the way momo shifts her weight she has a weapon of choice in her lap as well.
“hands on the table?” momo suggests lightly. you nod, doing as momo asks, watching for her hands to do the same. “how did you know where—”
“i proposed here on christmas eve seven years ago. i had a hunch you might be feeling sentimental.” it was less of a hunch than a hope. your heart jumped to your throat when you realized momo made a reservation here, on this night of all nights. you had to come.
momo frowns, eyes guarded. “i came for the clams.” she huffs, looking away.
your eyes trail over her again. she looks so good; it feels impossible for one woman to be this beautiful. “is this a new dress?”
momo rolls her eyes in irritation at the small talk. “what do you want, y/n?” she cuts to the chase, one of the hands bunching on the white tablecloth.
you lean forward, careful to keep your hands visible. “we need to talk.” it’s been all you’ve wanted since this whole mess started.
“about what?”
your eyebrows raise of their own accord. “us.”
she scoffs. “there is no us.”
you feel anger at the denial. “so, there’s nothing between us then?” how dare she just give up? if everything is up in smoke now, it only means there used to be a fire. you and momo burned brightly, and you need to know it was real, if only for your sanity.
she stares coldly at you. “only a table.”
you stand up slowly, pocketing your gun. you walk around the edge of the table and hold your hand out for momo. she stares at it uncomprehendingly until you nod to the dance floor.
“really?” you nod and pull her onto the dance floor. momo rolls her eyes. “you don’t dance.” she informs you dryly.
you lift your arms into a perfect frame and turn your face away, as the tango demands. you smirk when you hear momo’s sharp intake of breath. “all part of the cover.” you say loftily.
momo doesn’t miss a step either, your bodies moving together in a way that’s different than you’re used to. you’ll never get to tell momo now, but you have always wanted to dance with her.
“were the clothes on the bathroom floor every morning part of the cover too?” she grouses as you turn her. you take a step too far, pressing momo onto the wall, not hard enough to injure her but enough for her to realize you’re not fucking around.
you keep moving, not letting momo catch her breath as you reach one hand under her dress, grabbing the outside of her thigh. you keep reaching up until you find what you’re looking for, ignoring all of the soft skin there in favor of the dagger momo is hiding. you throw it sharply, and it pierces the far wall with a dull thud.
momo reaches behind you, grabbing your ass and then sliding her hands up to your waistband, pulling out the gun there, dropping it, and kicking it out of reach. the two of you don’t stop dancing and you ignore the way that momo’s hips move although it’s all you want to think about.
“if i knew you could dance like this, maybe i wouldn’t have thought you were so boring.” its sharp and angry, words meant to cut you.
you pull her into a dip, keeping the two of you there for a moment. “who cares if i was boring? i was just a cover to you.” you accuse openly.
she arches her brow, her foot grazing your calf, almost making you lose your balance. “who said you were just a cover?”
“wasnt i?” you demand to know. how much of your marriage was even real?
momo falters for a moment before she looks determined, a hired gun once again. “excuse me.” she says coldly heading up the stairs.
“there are no exits here.” you point out, although you’re not sure why this would be a perfect opportunity to catch her and end this once and for all.
“i’ll make one.” she spits out before she keeps walking, sliding between people until she’s out of your reach.
you stare after momo, digging your heels in to keep from chasing. she’s a liar. you just need to wait her out. you watch as a few people run and then there’s an explosion upstairs. fuck. you watch as streams of people run out of the restaurant, making it possible for momo to hide in plain sight. you use your height to look over most of the heads in the crowd, looking for familiar brown hair. you think you see her and walk quickly, making it out of the restaurant.
you’re looking around when you bump into an old man. “ma’am, you’re ticking.”
you freeze. amongst the commotion, you hadn’t heard the ticking coming from your suit jacket. you quickly strip it off, throwing it into a mailbox a few feet away. “get back!” you tell, waving your hand and running away from the bomb. it’s a small explosion but if it had been on your person, it definitely wouldn’t have down well. you shake your head. “momo.” you curse. you’d lost sight of her.
you quickly find her car and press your foot on the gas pedal, getting onto the highway as fast as you can. for the first time since this whole mess started, you call momo. 
“you tried to kill me.” you accuse, your hand tight on the steering wheel.
momo laughs. “it was a little bomb, y/n. lighten up.” she sighs. “why did you call me?”
“why did you answer?” all of the noise on momo’s side of the line makes you think you’re on the highway too. it gives you a direction, although you have no evidence of where momo is actually going. “never mind that. i want you to tell me something different. tell me, what was the first thing you thought when you met me.” the silence lingers, only the sound of traffic assuring you that momo hasn’t hung up. you have a knot in your throat. “because i thought... the first time i saw you momo, i thought you were the most beautiful woman id ever seen in the day of my life.” you can almost imagine her, dressed to the nines in that tiny bar. her taunting smirk, first at the bar and then looking up at you from the hotel sheets.
“why are you asking me that? why are you telling me this?”
“i guess when you get to the end of something you think of the beginning.” you can see the writing on the wall. this is going to end poorly no matter what and momo’s lost to you. “i just thought you should know the truth.” you want momo to have at least that silver of it. the suggestion that your relationship was real. at least, for you it was. “so. are you going to tell me?”
“i thought you were the most beautiful cover id ever seen.”
your blood freezes in your veins. “so, it was all business from the beginning.”
“mhm. all business. just cold, hard... math.” her voice cracks and all the background noise cuts off but when you look down the call is still going. momo muted herself.
“that’s what i needed to know.” you hang up. you grab the next exit, and you can see momo’s car ahead of you. you speed up, riding her bumper. you can’t believe your wild guess is right and momo went to your house. you smash your car into momo’s as the both of you hit the driveaway.
you’re all instinct as you pull out of the car running as fast as you can and crawling over the hedge. you find your toolshed, where you keep your weapons cache, and open the door. you’re sure momo is looking for wherever she has her stash. you quickly find a silencer, putting it on the gun you had at the restaurant. you stuff your waistband with another two guns and your pockets with ammunition. you also quickly put in ear plugs. 
you listen and you can’t hear a damn thing outside. you quickly but quietly make your way into the house. the front door is wide open, so you use the back. chances are momo is waiting for you to walk in blind and she’s set up a trap for you there. you walk through the hallway, not finding momo. you stop when you get to the walkway that leads to the open area of the living room.
you know you can’t look around that corner without being a wide-open target. you look around and grin when you find something of use. you pick up a framed picture of you and momo to try and see around the corner, using the reflective surface like a mirror. you catch a glimpse of momo, and you pull it back. it looks like momo’s set up on the stairwell with some kind of shotgun. 
you’re unsure if momo saw the movement of the frame, but you don’t have to wonder for long. multiple bullets spray through the wall, confirming what you already knew. you throw yourself on the ground, cupping your ears against the loud sound of the shots.
“fuck.” you mutter under your breath, but you can barely hear it over the ringing in your ears, even with the ear protection. you crawl as silently as you can down the hallway.
“are you still alive, baby?” you hear momo’s voice ring out along with the heavy clunk of the magazine.
you’re tempted to respond but then another thought occurs to you. you make a half-choking sound and imitate a dull thump on the ground. your house is filled with silence.
“y/n?” this time sounds more concerned, and you can hear her get closer.
you start shooting immediately through one of the holes made by the shotgun, watching as momo ducks and rolls out of the way running into the living room. you duck yourself as the bullets spray through the wall she is using for cover.
you quickly run out of your first round of bullets, and you hear a curse from the kitchen, and you figure momo did too. you take a chance and run into the kitchen at full tilt, taking momo by surprise as you tackle her. momo decks you across the face and pushes you against the wall, making you grunt in pain. you push back, using your height advantage to get out of the hold momo has you in. 
momo is faster than you and manages to dart out of the kitchen. you can hear her reloading and you quickly do the same, heart beating loudly in your chest. you hide in the next room over standing stalk still to not give away your position. you slow your breathing, trying to think of where momo might have gone. it’ll likely be the bathroom or back out to the living room. the bathroom is too closed off, but the living room is too open. neither is ideal in this situation. 
you turn and almost knock down a vase. you manage to grab it, biting your lip and hoping that jostling that stupid thing wouldn’t cost you your life. you recognize it as one that momo bought at a garage sale a few years back. the bullets start coming from the living room and you have to run again. you trip and end up on your back, which is fine for the moment because momo runs out of bullets again. you get up and think to run past momo in the living room to get back to the other hallway. 
you only realize your mistake when you’ve already entered the living room—momo wasn’t reloading at all, she’d just pulled out her handgun. she has it trained on you, taking a step closer until you both are face to face, guns trained on each other. 
you can see the absolute rage in momo’s eyes as she holds the gun up to your chest and suddenly all the fight gives out in you. when you think of pulling the trigger this close, you feel nauseous. the two of you have been fighting but you know you can’t kill momo. you’ve always known that.
you lower your gun slowly to momo’s disbelief. “i give up.” you say simply.
momo lets out a snarl, tamping her foot down. “no! pick it back up, y/n.” she demands, her own hands trembling on the gun. “pick it up.” she nudges the barrel of your gun with her own.
you smile sadly at her. you grab the barrel of momo’s gun and press it tightly over your chest. the metal feels cold against you, but it doesn’t matter. it’s the closest you’ll ever get to a kiss from momo ever again. “you want it? it’s yours.” your heart has always been momo’s. if she wants to blow through it with a bullet, that’s her right.
momo’s face crumples, tears shining in her eyes in what can only be an expression of heartbreak. it hurts more than any of the hits she’s landed since the two of you started fighting. momo tosses her gun, and it clatters on the ground. suddenly, momo is in your arms and you’re on the receiving end of a bruising kiss.
the force of it makes you fall backward but by no means does it mean you both stop. momo kisses you with everything she has, and you can’t help but respond, offering yourself up in return. you’re not sure if momo loves you or wants to kill you, but you’d happily take this over what the two of you had been doing.
you let your hands roam momo, pulling her close and listening to the groan she releases, and you manage to get a hand inside her dress. “fuck, momo.” you curse, your lips looking for purchase on her neck.
momo tears through your shirt. you’re sure the buttons make some type of noise as they land around the two of you, but you can’t hear past the ringing in your ears. you pull out the earplugs, but it isn’t much better. you can’t find any part of you that cares. you just want to be with momo. it won’t be the first time you make love to her with partial hearing, and it probably won’t be the last.
you turn so that you’re on top, hiking momo’s thigh and hitching it to your hip. “baby, please.” you’re sure you’re almost yelling it, but momo probably can’t hear well either. you’re not sure what you’re begging for, whether for momo to stop or to keeping. to love you or to just put you out of your misery.
momo reaches out, her hands gentle for once, as she tilts your face. your dark hair curtains both of you, like the two of you are closed off from the world. “y/n, i love you.” you have to read momo’s lips to make sure you’ve heard it right but it’s worth everything. “i always have.”
you can feel tears well up in your eyes. “i love you too. more than anything.” you lean down and kiss her again.
you feel momo widen her legs, making room for your hand to creep higher on her thigh. you pull off momo’s dress and when you’re inside of her, when the two of you both groan into each other’s skin and are overcome with the emotions and physical sensations, it’s like the night the two of you met at the bogotá all over again. 
it takes hours for you to sleepily open your eyes after momo runs you ragged. your house is in ruin around you both but with momo lounging on your chest, all you feel is calm. you realize momo is also awake when she turns her head, catching your gaze.
“i love you.”
momo’s eyes soften further, and she leans up, placing a soft kiss on your lips. “me too, baby. i love you so much.”
“tell me something about you. something real.” you ask quietly, your fingertips running up and down momo’s arm.
“i suck at cooking.” she says bluntly.
you can’t help but gasp, looking down at momo. “but all the dinners? you cook fantastic.” ever since the two of you were married, momo was always in charge of your kitchen.
she shakes her head, nuzzling further into your chest. “the firm has them brought every day. it was part of my cover.”
you look at her wide-eyed. “my favorite casserole?” you whine in disbelief.
momo laughs, tucking herself even closer to your side, like she can sink into your skin. “oh yeah, baby. that’s all gone now.” a quiet settles around you both as the two of you think of the implications of that statement. if you both don’t kill each other the both of you certainly don't have a way to complete either of your hit contracts. you knew you’d never complete yours, but you’d never thought this far ahead.
“fuck, mo. what are we going to do?” the two of you haven’t talked anything out and you have no clue what options you both even have. “we have to get their traces off of us.”
“well, how do we do that when they want us both gone if we don’t kill each other?”
you place a soft kiss on the top of momo’s head. “i’m not sure, but we can figure it out together.” you can feel momo tensing, worrying about the very real danger the two of you are in. “hey.” you tilt momo’s face to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. “i love you.” you say seriously. you’re never going to stop saying it ever again.
momo kisses you fully, leaning over you. “i love you too. and i’m sorry.” her hand gestures to the house that is falling apart. almost as if on cue, one of the picture frames falls off the wall.
you shake your head. “we have insurance.” you joke, your arm snaking around momo’s waist.
momo doesn’t laugh. “no, y/n. we just tried to kill each other. i’m sorry.” she presses a kiss to your cheek.
“we’ve been through worse i’m sure.” you kiss her fully.
she raises an eyebrow. “worse than this?”
“remember that time i forgot our anniversary?”
“oh yeah, that was bad.” she leans forward and places a tender kiss on your cheek. “fuck you, it was the fifth one too.”
“i was concussed! i didn’t know what day it was! i’d spent three days in four different time zones too.” momo had let you have it for weeks and you had stayed silent unable to disclose any of the reasons why you forgot.
“no excuse. i still remembered our third anniversary after getting shot in the foot.”
you pull back to see if momo is being serious. “how did i miss that?”
“it glanced off my boot mostly.” she gives you an impish grin.
you glare. “drama queen.” the two of you settle back into each other’s arms. your ass is numb from laying on the living room rug but you’re not going to be the one to suggest you both to move. you probably have rug burn but it feels like a warm moment between you both and you don’t want it to end.
“i can’t believe you can dance.” momo sighs wistfully.
you feel a pang of regret for all the dances that could have been if the two of you had been honest. “sometimes when i’d see you dancing— i’d do anything to dance with you.”
“you can dance with me now.” you soothe, ignoring your predicament entirely. 
“i’ll dance with you whenever you want, baby.” you hum to yourself. “oh! i was married once before.” you add to the pile of things you’d never disclosed before.
“excuse me?” momo turns and glares at you.
you shrug. “it was a vegas thing, wasn’t important.” you’d been young and the two of you had gotten a quick divorce—you honestly forgot at times you were married to anyone before momo.
“what’s her name and social security number?” momo asks, eyes cold and calculating.
you shake your head and laugh. “absolutely not, you aren’t killing her.”
momo buries her head in your shoulder. “i could.” she grumbles.
“you probably could but that isn’t very nice.” you try to keep the laugh out of your voice but it’s hard. the jealousy is silly and unnecessary, but it warms you anyway.
“i don’t have parents,” momo reveals.
“what? who showed up to our wedding then?”
“paid actors.”
it’s silly but your mind jumps to something else. “so, i never forgot your momo’s birthday.” you point out.
“it was the principle of the matter, y/n.” momo sounds a little huffy and you run your fingers down her back to soothe her.
“yeah, that’s true.” you concede. as many lies as there are piled between you both, you know that there were other things wrong with your marriage too. it feels far away now, though. you’ve never felt closer to momo. “can i ask you something?”
“of course, anything.”
“why did you throw out the honeymoon video?” it’s barely a whisper because you’re afraid to ask it.
momo winces. “you noticed that?” you nod, biting your lip to keep yourself from saying more. “i… when i realized that you’d had this other life, i felt so betrayed. i didn’t think you loved me. i felt used.” momo starts haltingly. “the girls — nayeon and mina, i work with them — they just started watching it when i came to pick up my stuff. we looked so happy in it. and you looked at me like—” her voice is filled with tears, “—like you loved me.”
“i do love you. then and now.” you remind gently, brushing a stray tear off of momo’s cheek.
“it didn’t feel that way then. i couldn’t bear to see it, so i tossed it. tossed out the lie.” she explains.
you nod. you understand it well—you’d had the same doubts and fears that momo did. “know this. now and forever, it’s you and me, okay? you’re my wife.” you cup her jaw and bring your lips together.
momo sighs when the two of you part. “okay,” she agrees.
you don’t want to leave but the two of you are probably in danger of getting shot naked if you both push this any longer. “from your firm, is there anyone you’d trust with your life?”
“sana,” momo says without hesitation. “she’s like a sister to me.”
“okay. you get sana, i’m going to get jihyo — she’s the person i trust — and we are going to figure out how to get these contracts off our backs.” you sigh. “and then we can kill our enemies and we’re safe, we can go to marriage counseling.”
momo lets out a soft gasp. “you didn’t want to go before.”
“i was being an idiot before.” there’s nothing worse than losing momo. be it a hitman contract or insidious complacency, you’re not letting anything tear the two of you apart.
“is it bad if i think it’s really sexy when you shoot things?”
you laugh and shake your head. “no, because i think the same.” you place a kiss on momo’s shoulder. “let’s see if we have any clothes without bullet and let’s get our life back.”
momo smiles at you so tenderly, you think you would be okay with dying right then and there.
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david-talks-sw · 7 months
Text
Debunking more myths in the GFFA: the Jedi and the clones.
I wrote a post debunking the various myths about how "the Jedi condone slavery", a while ago. Something I had omitted (because it's such a big topic) was the following two statements that concern the clone troopers' relations with the Jedi:
"The clones were genetically bred to have accelerated growth, so they're technically child soldiers."
"The clones were slaves of the Jedi."
Both the above statements are inaccurate, let's explore why. 
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"The clones were child soldiers"
Let's get the easy one out of the way first, because it's a logic that cuts both ways. If age is our only determination of the maturity of a Star Wars character, then Grogu is not a baby. He is aged 50, and is thus a middle-aged man.
Who cruelly eats the babies of a woman...
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... and knowingly tortures animals for his own sadistic pleasure.
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Of course, I'm kidding. Grogu's none of the above things.
The narrative frames him as a cute baby who does innocent baby stuff. Him eating the eggs is played off as comedic, as is him lifting with the frog. To this day, some fans still call him "Baby Yoda".
Conversely, despite the clones being 10/14-years-old, their actions, behaviors, way of thinking, sense of humor, morals etc, are all those of an adult.
Like, Ahsoka is technically older than Rex in this scene.
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The scene doesn't portray them as peers, though. This isn't written as "a teen and a tween talking". No, Rex looks, acts and behaves like a grown-up and is thus framed as such by the narrative.
You can make the argument "they're child soldiers", but (unless you're doing so in bad faith) you'd also have to argue that "Grogu's an adult".
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"The clones were the Jedi's slaves"
Nope. For all intents and purposes, they're in the same boat as the Jedi, who George Lucas stated multiple times had been drafted to fight in the war.
Again: both the Jedi (monk/diplomats untrained for fighting on a battlefield) and clones (literally bred en masse only to fight) are being forced to fight by Palpatine and the Senate.
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Though, on paper, the clones were commissioned by Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas, it was actually done by the Sith (who either manipulated or assassinated Sifo-Dyas then stole his identity, depending on the continuity you choose to adhere to). The rest of the Jedi had no idea these clones were being created.
So while the clones are slaves... they're not owned by the Jedi.
They're the army of the Republic, they belong to the Senate. This isn't exactly a scoop, they refer to the clones as something to purchase...
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... and manufacture.
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As far as the Senate’s concerned, clones are property, like droids. 
Like there's a whole subplot in The Bad Batch about this very point: after the war, the clones are decommissioned and left out to dry because they literally have no rights, they served their purpose.
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The only trooper to ever canonically blame the Jedi for the clones' enslavement is Slick, who the narrative frames as having been bribed and manipulated by Asajj Ventress into betraying his comrades.
Also, the only canonical Jedi shown to ever be mean, dismissive or mistreating the clones in any way, is Pong Krell.
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And it's eventually revealed he’s in fact a full-on traitor, hence why the story frames him as an antagonistic dick from the moment he's introduced. He doesn’t represent the Jedi in any way.
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We know this because the other Jedi we’ve been shown are always prioritizing their clones’ lives over theirs, if given the chance.
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Finally, if we wanna get even more specific... as Commander-in-Chief of the Grand Army of the Republic (GAR), the clones belong to Palpatine. 
Palpatine who is a Sith Lord. 
Palpatine who arranged for the creation of the clones and had them all injected with a chip that would activate upon hearing a code-word...
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... and forced them to murder their Jedi without hesitation or remorse.
When you bear all that  ⬆️  in mind and when you read this quote by George Lucas...
"The Jedi won't lead droids. Their whole basis is connecting with the life force. They'd just say, 'That's not the way we operate. We don't function with non-life-forms.” So if there is to be a Republic army, it would have to be an army of humans."    - The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005, 2020  
... narratively-speaking, everything falls into place.
Sidious knows that:
If he orchestrates a war designed to thin the Jedi's numbers, corrupt their values and plunge the galaxy into chaos...
If he wants to draft the Jedi - peace-keeping diplomats who’d never willingly join the fray - to fight in his war...
... then the only way they won't resist the draft and abstain from fighting is if they think joining the conflict will save lives.
So he creates a set of cruel, sadistic villains for them to face, opponents who will target innocent civilians at every turn...
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... and instead of lifeless droids, he prepares for the Jedi an army of men... living, mortal people who, despite being well-trained, will be completely out of their league when facing the likes of Dooku...
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... Ventress...
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... Grievous...
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... Savage Opress...
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... or the defoliator, a tank that annihilates organic matter.
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Thus, in order to save as many clone and civilian lives, the Jedi join the fray despite knowing that doing so will corrupt their values. 
And as the war rages on, a bond of respect is formed between the two groups.
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Clearly, the Jedi don't like the fact that the Republic is using the clones to fight a war, but for that matter, they don't like being in a war, in fact they advocated against it.
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However, it's happening regardless of their issues with the idea or personal philosophies. Said The Clone Wars writer Henry Gilroy:
"I’d rather not get into the Jedi’s philosophical issues about an army of living beings created to fight, but the Jedi are in a tough spot themselves, being peacekeepers turned warriors trying to save the Republic."
And bear in mind, the Jedi are basically space psychics, the clones are living beings that they can individually feel in the Force... 
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... so the Jedi feel every death but need to move on, regardless, only being able to mourn the troopers at the end of every battle.
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We see this in the Legends continuity too, by the way.
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(that is, when the writers actually try to engage with the narrative)
Also, if you ask the clones, they’re grateful the Jedi have their backs.
When Depa Billaba voices her concerns about how the war is impacting the Jedi's principles, troopers Grey and Styles are quick to make it clear how grateful they all are for the Jedi's involvement:
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So the clones aren't the Jedi's slaves. If anything, they're both slaves of the Republic (considering how low the Jedi's status actually is in the hierarchy).
Only I'd argue the clones have it much, much worse. 
The Senate sees the Jedi as "ugh, the holier-than-thou space-monk lapdogs who work for us"... but a Jedi has the option to give up that responsibility. They can leave the Order, no fuss or stigma. 
A clone trooper cannot leave the GAR! If they do, they’re marked for treason and execution. Again, they’re not perceived as “people”.
And it doesn’t help that the Kaminoans, the clones’ very creators, see the troopers as products/units/merchandise. A notion that the Jedi are quick to correct whenever they get the chance.
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How The Clone Wars writers describe the clones' relationship with the Jedi.
George Lucas hasn’t spoken much about this subject aside from the quote from further up. But to be fair... the Prequels aren’t about the clones’ dynamic with the Jedi, so it makes sense that he wouldn’t talk on that subject so much.
He did mention that part of The Clone Wars’ perks is that he could:
“Do stories about some of the individual clones and get to know them.”
But that’s as far as it gets. 
So for this part, I'm just gonna let Dave Filoni, showrunner of The Clone Wars and the upcoming series Ahsoka, and TCW writer Henry Gilroy - both of whom worked closely with Lucas - take the wheel. They make themselves pretty clear on how the clone/Jedi dynamic is meant to be viewed. 
Here’s Henry Gilroy:
"In my mind, the Jedi see the clones as individuals, living beings that have the same right to life as any other being, but understand that they have a job to do."
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"The clones see the Jedi as their commanding officers on one hand, but also, at least subconsciously, they look to them for clues to social/moral behavior."    
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"Some clones may find themselves getting philosophical leadership from the Jedi that helps them answer some of the deeper questions of life."    
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"We thought this was a great opportunity to show how the Jedi interact with clones. Specifically, Yoda in a teaching role of the clones, who were socially new, who kind of grew up— who were created to fight, and he really broadened their horizons and helped them realize there was a great big universe out there that was bigger than just fighting and killing."    
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And here’s Dave Filoni’s comments:
"I truly believe that the Jedi try to humanize their clones and make them more individual, as Henry says."    
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"I think we saw that in Revenge of the Sith, when the Clones were colorful and named under the Jedi Generals, and then in the final shots of the film with Palpatine and Vader near the new Death Star, the ships are grey, the color and life is sucked out. The Stormtroopers are only numbers and identified by black and white armor or uniforms in A New Hope." 
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"The soldiers have become disposable to the Emperor."    
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"That is something the Jedi would never do."    
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"Yoda teaching the clones much like he taught Luke. ‘Cause that was kind of natural for [the Jedi], a natural instinct to take to these clones like they’re students."    
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None of the above quotes from two different writers of The Clone Wars, who had many interactions with George Lucas, frame the Jedi and the clones’ relationship in a negative way. 
How much more proof do we need that "the clones were slaves of the Jedi” isn’t the intended narrative?
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My point being that while the clones' ordeal is indeed horrible, the Jedi have nothing to do with it. The narrative of The Clone Wars always frames it as the fault of the Sith, the Senate and the Kaminoans.
If you go by the intended narrative, the Jedi were the clones' teachers and brothers-in-arms. The clones and the Jedi were not just comrades.
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They were friends.
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pucksandpower · 1 year
Text
Charles Leclerc x Sainz!Reader - Instagram AU
y/nsainz
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Liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 265,384 others
y/nsainz red for ferrari (and to hide the blood stains if their strategists screw over my boys again)
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charles_leclerc you would commit murder for me? je t’aime ❤️
y/nsainz as the six merry murderesses once said: they had it coming, they had it coming, they only had themselves to blame. if you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, i betcha you would have done the same
trulytifosi i think i speak for all ferrari fans when i say that we will gladly help you hide the bodies
f1wagupdates i did not have y/n sainz adding would-be assassin to her resume on my 2023 season bingo card
y/nsainz the things we do for love
y/nsainz
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Liked by carlossainz55, f1wagupdates, and 291,685 others
y/nsainz charles said i wasn’t allowed to laugh at him so this is me not laughing at him 🤭
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carlossainz55 charles presley
pierregasly elvis leclerc
y/nsainz chalvis lesley
landonorris elarles preclerc
charles_leclerc i’m blocking all of you
charles_leclerc at least i looked fabulous
y/nsainz it’s an improvement over your usual taste in fashion
charles_leclerc you love my fashion sense
y/nsainz i love you but you don’t know how to dress yourself outside of ferrari branded clothing
charles_leclerc 😐
bananaleclerc not everyone bullying charles 😭
y/nsainz we bully him because we care
carlossainz55
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Liked by y/nsainz, landonorris, and 572,938 others
carlossainz55 throwback to when charles tried to hide from me in the closet after i learned that he was dating my sister
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charles_leclerc i wasn’t hiding, i just happened to find the closet very comfortable
carlossainz55 is that why you screamed “please don’t kill me, i really love her” when i opened the doors and found you?
y/nsainz i’m really glad you didn’t kill him
charles_leclerc thank you?
leclercupdates the pure fear in his eyes 💀
y/nsainz
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y/nsainz “team bonding” aka third wheeling with my own boyfriend and brother
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scuderiaferrari our favorite third wheel
y/nsainz someone had to make sure they didn’t burn the building down
charles_leclerc you said you would stop bringing that up
y/nsainz you almost set fire to the apartment making an omelette
charles_leclerc but i didn’t
y/nsainz because i sacrificed our towels to put it out before it spread beyond the stove. they still have scorch marks!
charlosfanclub sometimes i swear they share a single brain cell
fearlessferrari but it’s a very cute single brain cell
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc are you a ferrari? because i’d like to take you for a ride
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y/nsainz vroom vroom 🏎️
carlossainz55 your hotel room is right next to mine. don’t even think about it unless you want to traumatize me for life
charles_leclerc maybe that’s my genius plan to get rid of the competition
f1wagupdates i never thought i would say this but we might have finally found someone who looks better in ferrari gear than both charles and carlos
charles_leclerc it’s true
f1wagupdates simp first, driver second
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dragon-watcher03 · 6 months
Note
If your requests are open can I PLEASE request flirty dialog with Smoke, Scorpion, Reptile, and Sub-Zero where the reader is an assailing sent to murder them 😻
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Sure👍
Mk1 men x Assassin! Reader who was sent to kill them
Flirty Intro dialogue
Ft. The Lin Kuei trio and Reptile
Note: thank you for the request mate. I'll be making a list on what fandoms I'll do and what I'll write. Also the reader will be female and have the copying powers like usual.
Scorpion: You've been sent to kill me?
Y/n: Yeah, but I might have to give them their money back.
Scorpion: I'm not surprised a woman such as you is so powerful and deadly.
Y/n: I didn't expect the man I was supposed to kill was so handsome, but here we are
Scorpion: You alight a fire in me that can never be snuffed out.
Y/n: laughs You think flirting is gonna stop me from doing my job?
Y/n: Johnny is making a movie about us?
Scorpion: Apparently our relationship dynamic has caught his eye.
Y/n: How's the name 'little flame' sound?
Scorpion: As long as I can call you 'dearest'.
Y/n: You seem to have no interest in the fact that I was sent to kill you...
Scorpion: When my Assassin is so beautiful, how could I complain?
Sub-zero: It seems like they finally chose a good Assassin to kill me.
Y/n: You've got spunk, I like that.
Sub-zero: If death looked like you, then I would've died a long time ago.
Y/n: I never took you as one to flirt.
Sub-zero: Let's test your kombat abilities, lovely.
Y/n: Oh please, be as rough as you want with me.
Y/n: That cold heart of yours looks easy to crush.
Sub-zero: Yet you decided to melt it instead?
Y/n: So tell me, did I live up to you expectations?
Sub-zero: Oh lovely, you exceeded them.
Y/n: I just love this little game of cat and mouse we have going on.
Sub-zero: The only game I'll ever enjoy, lovely.
Smoke: Why would someone want me dead?
Y/n: Probably because they're jealous of how much I like you.
Smoke: I must be a lucky man if they sent a beautiful woman like you to kill me.
Y/n: It seems like Cage is rubbing off on you.
Smoke: Okay, since when did you start calling me "angel"!?
Y/n: laughs The moment I layed my eyes on you.
Y/n: So... The King of Smoke huh?
Smoke: You heard that?!
Y/n: You wanna go to Madam Bo's after this?
Smoke: Sure! Wait, did you just ask me out?
Y/n: Wow, look at you being all cute and handsome at the same time.
Smoke: I-uh w-well... Thanks.
Reptile: An assassin? And a hot one no less?
Y/n: You realize I'm supposed to kill you, right?
Reptile: Woah, didn't know death was so gorgeous...
Y/n: Alright, calm down cowboy.
Reptile: I wonder why you decided to become an assassin in the first place.
Y/n: So I can meet handsome guys like you.
Y/n: Your shape-shifting is getting annoying.
Reptile: Oh, I'm sorry, would you rather me use it to please you instead?
Y/n: Why are you so infatuated with me? I'm literally supposed to kill you.
Reptile: The fact you haven't yet is what drew me to you, M'lady.
Y/n: Your eyes are really pretty, mind if I carve them out of your dead body?
Reptile: chuckles What if our kids had them instead?
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marvelobsessed134 · 7 months
Text
Package delivered
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A/n: Back again with more Nat smut because I love her and I am down bad soooo yeah enjoy!
Pairings: Masculine!Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader
Warnings: smut, strap on use, degradation, rough sex, reader wears a maid outfit lol, dom!natasha, sub!reader, squirting, and I think that’s it let me know if I forgot any.
Summary: you and your girlfriends special package as arrived and you have some much needed fun.
It was just a normal afternoon in your small home in the outskirts of New York City when the doorbell rang. You told Nat you’d answer it, right when she was about to get up. The assassin’s eyes were trained on the screen since the New York Giants were playing against the Miami Dolphins. Of course, her being a big Giants fan she has to watch this. However you’re a Dolphins fan so the two of you butt heads all the time about what team is better but it’s all in good fun.
You’re not as invested as she is, you only picked the dolphins because of their name and the cute dolphin logo. You opened the door to find a medium sized cardboard box. Immediately you were filled with excitement and you felt your panties getting wet at the knowledge of what’s inside that box. You picked it up before closing and locking the door, skipping into the living room happily.
“Oh Natty…” you cooed. She looked at you, taking her eyes off the game before asking, “What is it, babe?”
You held the box in the air, “It’s here!”
You saw her eyes go darker and her demeanor shifting. “Oh, our special stuff is here?”
You nodded and jumped up and down before sitting on her lap, pecking her on the lips.
“Can we open it?” You asked.
“Sure, baby of course. Been waiting for this for months.” Long story short you and your girlfriend looked through a sex toy website and got a couple things. A couple sexy costumes for you and a strap for Natasha to wear. You’ve never really had experience with a strap but you’re definitely open to it.
The redhead used her pocket knife to cut through the tape and open the box. Inside were a bunch of packages for the costumes and she took them all out before quickly closing the box.
You furrowed your eyebrows.
“It’s a surprise, detka. There’s a reason I ordered this on my own.” She chuckled.
That made you more excited. You didn’t know what it looked like, how big it was…
Your eyes drifted down to the costumes. They consisted of,
A sexy maid
A sexy nurse
A sexy cop
And a sexy Harley Quinn outfit that was just labeled as a ‘Jester Girl’ to avoid copyright or whatever. The two of you love to act out cheesy porn scenarios and these are the perfect things to do it with. Minus the Harley one because Natasha is a big DC fan and just wants to see her girl in a Harley getup. Can you blame her?
“So, which one do I try on?” You asked.
Natasha scoped over the costumes before her eyes landed on the maid outfit. “This one for sure. You’d make a dirty little maid.”
You chuckled, “Okay. Should I go put it on now?”
“Oh yes please baby.” And with that you walked into your shared bedroom and put on the outfit. It has a short, black velvet skirt with white lace trim and a small apron, a matching crop top with puff sleeves and white detailing.
The skirt was short and you could see your white, cotton panties through them. Natasha loved when you wore white panties for some reason. Something about how innocent it looks.
You took a deep breath before walking out of the doorway and yelling, “Can I come out now?”
“Yes.” Nat called back and you walked down the hall and into the living room. Her eyes were immediately glued to your body and she bit her lip.
“Well, do you like it?” You asked, batting your eyelashes.
“Oh definitely. Give me a twirl baby.” She demanded and you did as you were told.
“Fuck.” She muttered under her breath.
“Nat, I know we’re supposed to do the whole roleplay thing but I’m so horny I need you now.” You whined.
The redhead looked amused at that, “Well then, you’ll be pleasantly surprised with my new cock.”
“Get down on your knees baby.” And you got on your knees, right in front of her crotch. You could see the bulge through her pants. You watched as she undid them before dropping them and her boxers off, revealing the pretty large strap. It was about 7 inches.
Eyes widening, you said, “I don’t know- how is this going to fit in me? I don’t know if I can take it.”
“Oh, you’ll take it. Now, are you gonna suck my dick or not?” So, you quickly got to work by first licking up to the top then taking the whole thing in your mouth. You began to suck her cock while she was sitting back still watching the game.
“Yeah, let’s go!” She cheered.
“Natty?” You asked. You wanted to see if she was enjoying this too. Not just you.
“No talking, slut. Suck my cock.” The Russian said sternly. Your lips parted in shock before obeying her. Fuck, you loved sucking it. It got you even wetter than before.
You moved your head all the way down, taking it at the back of your throat which made you gag. “Oh yeah, look at you choke on my cock.” She smirked.
After awhile, your jaw was tired and Natasha could tell so she grabbed your hair and pulled your head up. She saw the drool dripping from your mouth down to your breasts and the string of saliva connecting you with the strap.
“Tsk, such a dirty maid. Come on up here and lay down for me.”
You laid on the couch and your girlfriend pulled your panties down. “Looks like someone made a mess.” She chuckled before diving into your pussy, eating you out like you were her last meal.
“Oh! Oh god!” You moaned.
Her tongue flicked on your clit before going back in between your folds. “Mmm Nat.” You moaned again before feeling you coming closer and closer to your finish.
“You’re close, I can feel it, cum for me sweetheart.” And you did, crying out.
“Good girl. Hm, you think you’re ready for my dick?”
You nodded furiously.
“Hmmm I don’t know, this pussy’s pretty tight.” She teased as she started to slowly pump two fingers in and out of you.
“No, please, I can take it. I want your big cock so bad.” You moaned desperately.
So, she lined up to your entrance before pushing in. Your eyes rolled back, you whimpered as you felt it stretch your walls.
“Fuck you’re so so tight,” The assassin groaned before starting to thrust into you.
Your brows furrowed and you gripped onto her shoulders. “Mmm faster.”
“What do we say?”
“Please.”
“You want me to go faster baby? I’ll show you faster.” And she quickened her pace, now pounding into you without mercy.
“Yes! Yes! Oh yes!” You cried.
“Oh my god you’re so beautiful.”
“I love you natty.”
“Fuck, I love you too Y/n.”
And as she kept hitting your g spot you clenched around her before squirting all over the toy and the leather couch.
“Holy fuck that’s hot. I didn’t know you were a squirter.” She pulled her strap out before licking up everything. Then, she forced you on your knees again.
“For a maid, you’ve made quite the mess. Clean it up.” Natasha demanded and you sucked her cock once again, licking up your own cum and arousal.
The redhead leaned back, wiping some sweat from her forehead. “Fucking love this day.”
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frenchkisstheabyss · 6 months
Text
⛧Lilith's Daughter Pt. 1⛧
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⛧ Pairing: ot8!poly!demon!ateez x chubby!fem!demon!reader
⛧ Summary: 100 years ago you were banished to the darkness. The night before Halloween your lovers set out to resurrect you, pulling you all into a night of passion and jealousy.
⛧ Genre: demon au/angst/suggestive (no smut yet but part 2 & 3 shall be ritualistic filth)
⛧ Word Count: 1.2k-ish
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⛧ Warnings: demons (obviously), religious themes (hell), mentions of dead bodies/death, blood (not a lot), nudity, rituals, jongho's new bestie is a snake, sexual language, everyone's a simp for demon queen reader
⛧ A/N: Should I be working on my assassin series instead of working on a demon Ateez series? Yes but, like, it's demon Ateez. What was I supposed to do, just...not? Blasphemy. ⛧ Part Two's Here ⛧
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Twas the night before Samhain
And all through the woods
Not a creature was stirring
At least none that were good...
Deep in the forest where tree roots twist around your ankles like the claws of the damned threatening to drag you to hell, a fire rages at the center of a circle drawn with graveyard dirt. Its amber flames stretch high into the night sky, seemingly hugging the contours of the moon. Ancient symbols adorn nearby trees, written in the blood of victims whose sins in this life constituted such a sacrifice.
At least that’s the belief held by the eight men gathered outside of the circle impatiently awaiting the return of something long ago taken from them. “Men” could be the wrong word for what these handsome creatures cloaked in black, shadows between the trees if not for the light of the fire, actually are. Men. They look like them. Talk like them. Act like them. But human? They’re nothing of the sort and neither are you. 
“You’re so cute aren’t you?” a baby-faced Jongho coos at the small but highly venomous snake contorted around his wrist. It slithers up his hand, locking eyes as it inches closer to his face. Jongho blows a kiss at it, earning a disgusted glance from San. “You shouldn’t play with pests" San scolds through gritted teeth, raising a sharp brow in Jongho’s direction. “Last I checked we needed the snake for this ritual,” Jongho says, grinning mischievously at his new reptilian companion, “But we didn’t need you. Maybe you’re the pest.” 
In an instant San's at Jongho’s back, the blade of a knife he forged with his own hands held to his brother’s throat. “You’re a child compared to me. Don’t you forget that.” Jongho cocks his head to the left and San’s ear begins to ring on that side. It’s piercing. Torturous. The pressure expanding in his skull is unbearable, causing him to drop the blade and stumble backward. His nostrils are flooded with the scent of rusted metal. A nosebleed.
“I’m stronger than you. Don’t forget that” Jongho mocks before the wind is knocked out of his lungs, bringing him to his knees. “Both of you are weaker than me!” Hongjoong shouts, his patience for childish bickering growing thinner by the moment. The mental hold he has on Jongho’s lungs could last forever, keeping him in eternal suspension, gasping for air into the depths of eternity. “Clearly you’ve been in the human world too long because I never trained you to be this petty and weak. Let him go,” Hongjoong demands, “Now.”
Jongho relents, the pressure on San’s mind gradually fading. Wooyoung runs to San’s side, his own rage threatening to destroy his better judgment, “What the fuck was that? We don’t use our powers on each other. We agreed.” “This is not the time!” Seonghwa shouts, his typically gentle voice booming across the clearing.
Temporarily deafening himself to the chaos around him, Yeosang enters the inner circle, drawn in by a force he hasn’t felt in a hundred years. It calls to him, a siren song that breaks the barriers of his own abilities. A figure emerges in the flames. Soft. Feminine. Spellbinding. 
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You open your eyes as you awaken in the heart of the fire. The flames tickle the tips of your fingers and kiss the bridge of your nose. You stretch your aching limbs, your heart racing at the realization that you have limbs once more. Limbs and a heart? Your brain is foggy, a century of sleep having blurred memories with dreams. Voices and thoughts, comforting and familiar, seep in from the mystery realm beyond the flames.
A hand reaches in, skimming your soft belly. You take it, reading the pathways the veins take from wrist to fingertip. Yeosang. You take his hand and, as you do, you’re pulled free of the fire, your bare feet hitting the dirt. All conversations are hushed at the sight of you standing before them, your plush naked body bathed in moonbeams. Their blood runs colder than what’s left in the corpses that lay beyond the bushes.
They kneel in your presence, knees pressed into the earth as they gaze upon you, their eyes pools of shimmering obsidian. The air is thick with sadness, heartbreak, and, above everything, an all-consuming longing for you. “Yeosang” you smile, flashing those beautiful extended canines of yours, pleased at how deliciously built he’s remained after so long. “How I’ve missed you.” You cradle his cheek in your hand, deep crimson nails nicking his cheek.
He melts at your touch, lovingly kissing your palm, more grateful to be the first one touched by you than he’ll ever be for anything else in his afterlife. “I’ve missed you as well, queen. Painfully so.”  Looking out at the others, you count them down one by one, gradually recognizing the faces of your loyal soldiers. Your protectors. Your lovers. “Mingi” you hum, gesturing for him to come to you. Without hesitation, he’s at your side, desperate to be the next to feel your skin against his.
You grant his wish, raking your fingers through his hair to better admire his features. Bringing your mouth closer to his, you run your tongue along his soft pink bottom lip. The groan he lets out is a deep feral manifestation of his desire. “Tell me, have you been a bad boy?” you tease. “For you? I’m always a bad boy for you” he whispers between your lips, the bass of his profession reverberating through your core.
It burns you up inside in the most satisfying way to taste his need on your tongue. “Where is my other titan?” you press loudly enough for Yunho to hear, an indirect request for him to approach that he couldn’t fathom disobeying. “My queen, you are as radiant as ever,” Yunho says as he strokes one of two black horns that twist elegantly upward from the crown of your head. You purr at the moistness it brings between your decadent thighs, “Still a wolf in sheep’s clothing I see.”
Leaning in to kiss him, you sense that something’s not quite right. Jealousy and resentment loom overhead like phantoms, tearing you away from the tender moment. You sniff the air, tracing the scent straight to its source. “Hongjoong” you gasp, kneeling to meet his gaze, “My captain.” His stone-faced expression falters briefly, taken back by your decision to come down to his level. In all his centuries by your side, you’d never gotten onto your knees for any man. Not even in those brutal moments before you were threatened with exile.
A twinge of pain ripples through his chest at the memory. You feel it too, the sensation growing in intensity the further back his thoughts reach. “Come back to me” you whisper, guiding his hands to your waist and your lips to his ear. Hongjoong follows your lead, caressing your figure, savoring the way it gives under the pressure of his touch.
“I know you’ve been through so much. Fought so hard for me,” you whisper, grinding your palm against the bulge straining the zipper of his dress pants, “But you mustn't be jealous of your brothers. I am always yours before I am theirs. Take me, my love.” 
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brooooswriting · 4 months
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24 and 1
We bring a muddy puppy home and Nat is not impressed (when she finds out)
1. “I’m not stupid, who is s/he?
24. “I’m overreacting?!”
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You should have known that this wasn’t gonna work. Nat is an assassin and a super spy, so you, a normal person, trying to hide something from her is very very dumb.
“Hello my love. I’m home” the redhead called out once she entered your shared apartment. As she started to pull of her jacket you came out of the bedroom in a hectic that already made her suspicious.
“Nat, babe. You’re home early” you stumbled over your words as you triple checked that the bedroom door was closed. This gave your girlfriend the time to study you, you were wearing something different than this morning, a shirt you didn’t really like, you were out of breath, sweating slightly, you were avoiding eye contact and you fiddled with your hands.
“Oh well, the mission was easier than we thought. But I could really use a shower” she tried to stay as calm and normal as possible as she made her way towards the bedroom which was connected to the bathroom.
“No, wait. Why don’t you eat something first? I’ll make sure that a bath is ready for you once you finished eating” you tried and took a step back so you stood in front of the door.
“Sure, but I wanna get changed first” she tried again, her hand going towards the door handle making you panic and carefully slap it away.
“No, you can’t. You… you look good in these clothes” you’d have loved the face palm yourself in that minute. This was the most stupid thing you could have done.
Suddenly Natasha recoiled back, a look full of horror, sadness and disgust on her face. “Who’s in there?” She asked with a stone cold tone, her arms crossed in front of her chest.
“There’s nobody in there natty” you batted your eyelashes and gave her an innocent smile which led you nowhere.
“I’m not stupid. Who is she?” Her voice got louder making you flinch as you looked on the ground.
“Nat, I promise there’s nobody in there”
“Then let me in”
“I can’t”
“Then I can’t believe you. So tell me, who the fuck is in our bedroom?!” She grew angrier by the minute and she looked like she could start throwing stuff around any minute.
“You’re overreacting my love” you tried with a soft voice only to realize seconds after that the words you chose were stupid.
“I’m overreacting? You’re fucking somebody in our bedroom and I’m the one who’s overreacting?” Her voice broke making you gasp.
“Fuck, darling, I promise I’m not fucking anybody. Come here” you carefully pulled her hand towards the bedroom. The moment you opened the door she gasped.
“What the…” the whole room was covered in mud and a small dog sat in the middle of the room. He happily jumped up and walked towards your girlfriend where he happily leaned against her leg covering her trouser in mud too.
“This is why I didn’t want you in here, I wanted to clean everything up before I introduce him to you. This is jack, he’s approximately three months” you told her as you leaned down to let the dogs head.
“No” was the only response you got. You quickly stood back up, but this time with the dog in your arms. “Come on, look at him. I found him at the side of the highway from my way back from work, somebody left him there. Look at his big brown eyes and at that cute nose” you tried to convince her.
“No and that’s final. Tomorrow morning we are giving him away” you sighed and kissed the dogs head before carrying him towards the bathroom, you still had to wash him. “What you’re not gonna argue?” She asked as she followed you, confused by your silence.
“No, if you wanna give him away I at least wanna give him on day where he’s loved and appreciated. So if you could go now, there’s food for you in the fridge. You can shower as soon as I washed him” with a defeated sigh Natasha left the bathroom.
You had to hold back the tears as you checked the temperature before setting the dog in the bath. Even if you had only been with him for like 4 hours you really liked him and wanted to keep him.
You didn’t notice your girlfriend reentering the bathroom moments later. She watched as you giggled when the dog licked your nose and how lovely you were to the small creature. Plus you looked really cute with a puppy. So she sat down behind you on the cold tiles of the bathroom and hugged your waist. “Maybe we can keep him, if you really want to” she whispered into your ear and pressed a loving kiss to your cheek as one of her hand left your waist to scratch the puppy behind his ear.
“Really? Thank you thank you thank you” you mumbled over and over again as you kissed her.
Later that night Nat laid in bed with you nearly on top of her, one arm wrapped around your waist and the other arm wrapped around the dog who laid on her other side. A lovesick smile on her face.
“We are so keeping that dog” you grinned as you pressed a kiss to her lips before giving the dog a gentle pet on the head as a good night.
“I love you” the redhead mumbled making a smile form on your lips.
“I love you too”
“I was actually talking you jack” she replied biting her tongue to stop her laugh.
“I hate you”
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stxneflxwers · 4 months
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Yk what would be really cute? Imagine If Freminet has like a little Polaroid picture of the reader in the corner of his mirror. Imagine they're about to go on a date and he's getting ready, but he's soo nervous and talks to himself in the mirror imagining scenarios in his head. "So hey Y/n, you look so pretty today- I mean". He'd shake his head and let out a sigh, a quick glance at the photo of you on his mirror while fixing his hair. "Hey Y/n, ready for our date? No...that doesn't sound good..."
AND IMAGINE LYNEY OR LYNETTE CATCHING HIM DURING THAT AND TEASING HIM BY IMITADING OUR VOICE IN THE MOST DRAMATIC WAY (Probably Lyney, Lynette would just stand there)
"Oh dearest Freminet, thank you so much my beloved. You look so good today mwuah mwuah mwuah"
After that he'd be a blushing mess and closing his door really quick.
HRRRRGHHGDSGDHSJGDS THAT'S SO CUTE. I AM BITING HIM (gently. just a few nibbles.)
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freminet—quick to start scurrying out of the house to avoid lyney (again)—takes the easy way out. by jumping out of his bedroom window. that's...one way to avoid his brother, that's for sure. freminet is an assassin! he's gotta be sneaky! this apparently includes knowing how to evade endless teasing.
he scuttles his way to the café. he arrives much earlier than he intended, but he wagers that's better than—archons forbid—being late. that would be devastatingly embarrassing (even if you kindly tell him it's fine, he wouldn't recover for at least a week.)
a few minutes later, you come bounding in—holding something in your hand—
"hey, check out what i found!" you perk up, colorful eyes gleaming. before he can even ask what it was, you fasten a penguin pin to his chest. "there we go. you look so dashing, by the way." you grin, a hardly noticeable tint rising to your cheeks.
"a-ah..." he sputters out awkwardly, his own blush as hot as the sun that currently dips below the horizon. "th-thank you..." he mutters. his eyes couldn't avert from your bright grin.
he tries to clear his throat, but alas, still nothing comes out. you giggle, knowing you've officially and totally broken his poor, flustered brain.
in the distance, lyney and lynette watch—they're a bit too far away to hear what you two are talking about, but they saw how you attached that penguin pin to him. lynette has to cover lyney's mouth to keep him from laughing too loudly.
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maxislvt · 9 months
Note
hi! could you write something with wandanat x reader and forced pet play? love your works!!!
warning: afab!reader, mommy kink (nat and wanda), dubcon, forced pet play, vaginal fingering
this is shit i'm sorry
"Just sit still and let mommy put on your collar."
There was no point in fighting back. Natasha was a highly trained assassin and Wanda was a witch with powers beyond your comprehension. A few months ago it wouldn't have been wrong to say you were a scientific marvel. A genius lucky enough to harvest the power of space and all the stars within it. Though the thought never once crossed your mind, you could beat them in a fight if it came down to it.
Now you were just some plaything for your girlfriends to do whatever they wanted.
"I know it seems weird, but we know what's best," Natasha whispered sweetly. She kept you pinned down as Wanda attempted to tighten the collar around your neck. "There, you look so cute as a puppy," The older woman coed as she peppered your face with kisses.
You leaned away from Natasha only for Wanda to swoop in and start smothering you as well. A frustrated groan escaped your lips. They were starting to overwhelm you. "I don't think I like this," You grumbled.
You should have seen it coming. They always had been your mommies, but Wanda and Natasha started to get a bit too controlling. First, you were too small to cook or use the stove. Then, you couldn't pick out your own clothes. Each day came with another restriction on your autonomy.
Wanda pouted at your words. "But you look so cute as a puppy," She insisted. Her hands cupped your cheeks. "With your little puppy ears and little puppy face." She continued to squeeze and kiss parts of your body. Nothing could stop her from fawning over your "little puppy nose" and "little puppy tummy". Her praise and adoration went lower until she was right between your thighs. "Oh Nat, I think I just found out why our puppy is so cranky today."
Natasha's hand was quick to start teasing. Her middle finger rubbed your slit over your underwear. "Is our precious little puppy all sticky?" Her fingers rubbed tight circles on your clit. She was more than strong enough to keep your squirming body still. "Our little puppy can't think about anything but how sticky their puppy parts are."
"Noo, 'm not a puppy," You whined. Your hands clamped down over your mouth hoping to muffle the desperate noises coming from your mouth. Mommy and mama always made you feel good, but you didn't want to feel good right now. You wanted them to listen. "Mamas not listening," you finally managed to shout out. For a moment, it seemed your outburst had earned you the room to speak.
It did, until Wanda slipped a third finger inside of your cunt and started thrusting into you without much concern for what you had to say.
"But we are listening, baby. Don't you hear how needy your little puppy parts are?" Wanda said sweetly. Her fingers slowed down just enough to drag out the squelching sound coming from your cunt.
Natasha tsked and gave your clit a spanking, only adding to the wet sounds. "You need your mommies to make your parts feel better. Now be good and sit still."
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salty-croissants · 5 months
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Bullfrog and Rayman x g/n reader : comfort after a long day
As a massive lover of tooth rotting fluff , my first post on this blog just had to be something cute for my favorite boys !
I should specify that writing for me is just a silly hobby , so it might not be very good … plus some moments might be ooc , so I apologize in advance for that .
Now then , let’s get to it !
Details : established relationships , fluff , no trigger warning needed
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Bullfrog 💚
Okay , so … I think we should specify that this tiny assassin man absolutely adores you , and he’s grown to know you so well that he can immediately pick up signals of you not feeling at your best : just the way you enter the room he’s in is enough for Bullfrog to realize that something isn’t quite right .
He really doesn’t want to invade your boundaries , but at the same time he really hates to see you looking so sad and tired , so eventually Bullfrog will timidly approach you and ask if something happened …
< y/n , mon cher … is everything alright ? Do you want to talk about it ? >
If the answer is yes , Bullfrog will gladly sit down and listen to you for as long as you need , offering you words of comfort and appreciation with that cute accent of his that always manages to make you smile … but he also perfectly understands if you’d rather not discuss the matter right now : Bullfrog is always happy to be with you , even if it’s just sitting next to each other in silence .
If you’re into physical affection Bullfrog is going to be more than happy to hold you in his arms , regardless how tall you are , giving you sweet little kisses and just enjoying the feeling of having you close to him … he just loves you so much ://)
< Pfft - Bullfrog , that tickles ! >
< Heh , you’re so adorable mon amour … I could stare at that beautiful smile forever ~ >
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Rayman 🧡
Similarly to Bullfrog , Rayman is also able to understand fairly quickly if you’re feeling down about something , and despite how busy he often is with his shows he will do all he can to find moments where he can spend time with you : voice of Eden or not , his partner is still what matters most .
Rayman is ready to do anything he can possibly do to help you feel better : wanna go somewhere special ? He will take you there immediately . Wanna just relax and get some rest ? He will be more than happy to just spend some time with you at his lounge , looking at the city lights outside the window while holding each other close … anything feels special to Rayman as long as you’re there .
If you ever feel insecure about yourself , Rayman is quick to put your worries at ease …
< y/n , you’re literally everything I could ever ask for … I wouldn’t be this happy with anyone else , and this is just a fact . You’re just … wonderful , wonderful in every way . >
He will then proceed to shower you with affection , demonstrating his point even further : you really do mean everything to him , and no matter how many adoring fans he has you will always be the only one who could make him feel this way .
Rayman feels bad whenever he is obligated to stop spending time with you to get back on stage ( the Board of Directors constantly monitors their show host to keep an eye on him at all times ) , but he always makes sure to not stay away for too long …
< Sorry love … it’d be amazing to be with you for a little while longer but … >
< It’s okay Ray , I understand . You’re gonna do great tonight , I just know it . >
< Thanks y/n … I’ll be back soon , I promise : we haven’t finished our cuddling session after all ~ >
He then always remembers to give you a loving kiss before heading out , and as you watch him leave you can’t help but feel lucky to have someone like Rayman in your life .
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daddynattt · 1 year
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GIRL HERE ME OUT CAN YOU PLEASE CREATE ADARABBLE * NAT X Y/N WITH KIDS* OUT OF THIS PLEASE 😭😭😭I NEED SOME FLUFF RN COZ I JUST FINISHED MY EXAM
Lol I saw this tiktok last night, so cute. Good job on finishing your exams I’m sure you did great and I’m proud of you<3 I love soft mama Nat hope you enjoy this little fluffy piece.
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Warnings: None just fluff and Nat being a softie for her family.
You and Natasha were sitting on the couch watching a movie, your son in your arms as you feed him his milk, you look to your side and watch as Natasha is staring at the two of you with so much love in her eyes making your heart skip a beat. Starting a family with the ex-assassin has been the best decision you’ve ever made, as she is the greatest mother to your two children. She gives the three of you everything you could ever want and need, and has never missed any milestone. 
“Are your eyes stuck Natty?” you give her a teasing smile, laughing when she huffs and rolls her eyes, planting a kiss on both your heads making you smile. 
“Can I not admire my perfect partner and our son?” you blush at her words, she never fails to make you feel like the most important person in the world, and you are forever grateful for her. You finish feeding your little boy, and you look to your side once again to see Natasha making grabby hands. You giggle and allow her to take him in her arms, and she instantly holds him up to her chest, rubbing and patting his back softly to get him to burp. You get up off the couch to clean up a bit, chuckling when she whines out.
“Baby where you going?” you turn around and plant a sweet kiss on her lips, and her smile instantly warms your heart. 
“More please” her pout makes you giggle, this woman is such a softie that you would never have guessed she is the Black Widow. You plant a few more soft kisses on her awaiting lips, and a few on your sons head as well.
“Me and our little munchkin are happy now, proceed to what you were doing, but don’t take too long please we already miss you” you smile at her words, letting out a yelp as she spanks your butt softly when you turn around, glaring at her when she gives you an innocent look.
“What? You know I can’t help myself” you shake your head, proceeding to clean up a little around you. You admire Nat as she holds him in his arms, her soft nature for you and the children is something you will never get tired of. You make your way back to the couch, sitting beside her and planting a kiss on her lips once again. 
You watch the two of them, smiling as Nat kisses and noms on his chubby cheek and tickling his sides softly, his giggles making the two of you smile. You hear footsteps coming closer and you see your daughter make her appearance with a book in her hand, but once she sees the position the two are in, she instantly gasps, her mouth open wide as she clutches at her chest, completely shocked at the scene in front of her, seemingly feeling betrayed that Nat would do that to anyone other then her, causing you to laugh out loud. Shock is written all over her face as she stares at them, then climbs into your lap, and puts her hand out at Natasha, a frown on her face.
“Mama no!” the two of you laugh, and Natasha pulls her into her lap as she cuddles and holds them both in her arms, making your heart burst with love at the scene.
 “Aww my little princess, mama loves you just as much, I love you both so so much. Want me to read you the book?” she nods and cuddles into Nat more, getting comfortable against her chest as Nat wraps her arm around her, holding the two of them protectively in her arms. She kisses her brother on his forehead, making the two of you smile. She may get jealous, but she loves her brother. Natasha turns towards you, motioning for you to come closer, and you cuddle into her side, the four of you huddled together.
“I love you and our family so much” her confession makes your heart skip a beat, and you kiss her softly, smiling against her lips.
“I love you and our family so much more” she kisses your nose, then both their foreheads, and proceeds to read the book, her voice smooth and comforting, calming the three of you down. You wouldn’t change your family for anything. This is where you are meant to be.
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anzulvr · 3 months
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hii could i please request a little hurt/comfort drabble where reader feels sad during christmas season but forces herself to at least pretend to be happy because karma’s birthday is on christmas day :( but karma notices how her smile doesn’t meet her eyes and stuff and asks reader about it!
Summary: You’re sad on Christmas, Karma x reader (except it’s his birthday.) hurt/comfort GN!reader HUGE SPOILER WARNING FOR ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM
(this is so cute I LOVE THIS REQUEST thank u! Had this in my drafts for a while but waited for Christmas to post)
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It had been two years since everything ended. Two years since Korosensei died and all of End class were labeled as victims with some weird-Stockholm attachment to the monster who blew up the moon.
It was strange, seeing everyone care about you when you didn’t need it and remembering how low they thought of you when you were only the reject class of kunugigaoka.
A lot happened in two years, not a long time but considering how quickly everything was moving you hadn’t had time to catch up. Like any special day Christmas wasn’t a good time anymore- something your classmates agreed on. With the impact Korosensei had on your lives it was impossible to celebrate anything without wondering what would have been if you managed to save him. That was only wishful thinking, you couldn’t change the past.
Regardless, today you tried to keep a smile on your face. It was the most important time of the year, Karmas birthday- and Christmas too.
You stared at your poor attempt to decorate the cake you baked with Karma, the frosting written birthday note was almost illegible.
“What’s with the look, you’re writing isn’t that bad.”
You looked up after hearing Karmas voice as if you were pulled out of a trance.
“What look? I know it’s not that bad I was admiring our hard work.”
“More like my hard work, you kept dropping everything! Seriously though, what’s wrong? The whole day I’ve been catching you teary eyed.”
You turned your back to the counter to face him as you set the frosting bag down “I’m fine, today’s your day I’m not going to bother you with my problems. You should enjoy everything to its fullest.”
“I’m not going to enjoy anything if you’re not happy, ‘m not budging tell me why you’re upset.”
Karma was stubborn, you knew him well enough to realized this wasn’t negotiable.
“I don’t know… I was just thinking about how Korosensei can’t spend Christmas with us, and he can’t be here for your birthday. Ever since we killed him, Ive felt so helpless.”
He nodded slowly breaking eye contact for a second, “my parents haven’t answered my call today, they’re in Italy right now, all I got was a text saying they were busy and that they’d talk later. I know they haven’t forgotten, it’s kind of impossible when it’s Christmas but still- I hoped they would have time for me today, I know they have more important things to do but It made me think about how Korosensei would’ve been here.”
you nodded in response, “they could still call the days not over… and if they don’t they’ll try to make it up to you…” You could bet they wouldn’t call until the next day but you wanted to reassure him, there wasn’t a lot you could say in this situation that would make him feel better.
“It’s fine, you’re here- and you’re the best company, I had fun today. I just meant Korosensei has done a lot for us he’s proud we pulled that off, he wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up over it.”
“I know you’re right, still I wish I could’ve done more, we should’ve tried harder to save him.”
“We did what we had to. I miss him too, there’s a lot of things I could never repay Korosensei for—”
“Like getting you through senioritis? Or always bringing money in his wallet even though he knew you’d steal it?”
“I meant setting us up together, but sure those were good too.” Karma smiles breaking tenseness of the conversation for moment, “at the time I thought he was being a hassle but without him im not sure id have you right now.”
Suddenly you felt shy laughing it off and covering your face for a moment while you composed yourself, “Yeah he did push for us a lot but I was obsessed with you for before we even ended up in 3-E so you would’ve had me regardless.”
“Yeah? Tell me more.”
“No way in hell, I don’t trust you to not make fun of me. Anyways I didn’t mean to bring up something depressing, we should be smearing cake all over your face right now.”
“Try all you want but it isn’t possible to mess up my face.”
“Wanna bet?” You shake the smile off your face.
“See that’s more I like it, we can enjoy our ugly cake now. And more importantly you can open your gift.”
“What do you mean my gift? It’s your birthday you’re not supposed to buy me stuff!”
“It’s also Christmas … I couldn’t help myself I really wanted to get you something.”
“But now I’m worried my gift won’t live up to yours!”
“[Name] you could give me rocks for all I care and I’d keep them in a safe with multiple locks.”
You gently shoved his shoulder suppressing your laughter, you leaned in to kiss him.
It was impossible to not feel better with him around. This morning you had woken up wishing time could stop for a moment and you ended the day hoping for the same thing but for a completely different reason.
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holylulusworld · 1 year
Text
Neighborhood watch
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Title: Neighborhood watch
Summary: You and your husbands retired.
Square N3 filled for @stuckybingo​​​​: Free Space - Domestic Stucky
Card Number: R4081
Creator: Holylulu
Rating: Teen
Square N2 filled for @allcapsbingo​​: established relationship
Square 11 filled for @lgbtqbingo​​: Free Space - Domestic Stucky
Pairing: Stucky x Reader
Warnings: Bucky/Y/N being nosy neighbors, fun, fluff, domestic Stucky, America’s ass :), a hint of jealous Steve, reader like to check a cute ass out
Words: 1k+
Divider by @firefly-graphics​
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   “Doll? Baby doll?" Bucky strolls into the living room in search of you. He releases a shuddery breath when his eyes land on you. The former winter soldier is always afraid something could happen to you. “Did you not hear me, Y/N?”
Watching your new neighbors from behind the curtains is something you enjoy doing. That’s why you don’t hear Bucky call your name. “Babe, what’s so interesting?”
He steps closer to look out the window. There is a mover team carrying furniture and boxes into the house across the street.
“We got new neighbors,” you explain. “I wanted to know if they could be trusted. I don’t know. What do you think, Babe?"
“I haven't talked to them yet. We can check their background when Steve is back from Sam’s place,” Bucky dips his head to look at you.
“You know that not every new neighbor is an assassin, right?” you sigh as Bucky gets his phone out to note the license plate and description of your new neighbors. “Bucky, I was just a nosy neighbor. Boring and normal. Stop acting like a creep.”
“Doll you are the one watching the new neighbors like a creep,” Bucky tuts. “Lemme do my job and protect you and Stevie. You never know if they are not working for Hydra.”
“Hydra?” you huff. “Let them come.”
Bucky couldn’t be prouder of you. When you tell him his training with you has paid off, he smiles.
“What are we watching today?”
You freeze as Steve steps into the room. He caught you red-handed and now, you try to find an excuse for watching your neighbors.
"Uh, we were checking the lawn. Bucky wanted to know if he had to mow it again," you lie. You don’t want to lie to Steve, but you agreed on living a simple and safe life after he decided to give the shield to Sam.
“Bucky, baby,” Steve sternly says. “Is that true?”
"We watched our new neighbors move in. It’s a pleasant neighborhood and we wanted to know who moved in across the street.”
“You spied on them,” Steve concludes. He walks to Bucky to peck his husband’s cheek. “Y/N, I’m disappointed in you. You just lied to me.”
“What? No…I just…” you whine when Steve cups Bucky’s face to kiss him fiercely. “That’s not fair! Bucky was the one taking notes. He accused them of being with Hydra.”
“Y/N. Bucky,” Steve stops you from fighting. “I already checked on our new neighbors.”
Your head snaps toward Steve as you ask, "You did? When? How? Why didn’t you tell us so?”
“Doll, we retired but this doesn’t mean our enemies got the message," Steve smirks when you step toward him to cup the back of his neck and kiss him. “Hmm…baby doll ate strawberries today.”
“We both did,” Bucky purrs. “I fed her strawberries while we prepared dinner tonight. You have missed so much, Stevie. Y/N finally peeled an onion without crying her eyes out.”
“You helped her, didn’t you?” he asks. “I know you better than you know yourself. You’d do anything for Y/N.”
“He only peeled it…and cut it and…” you giggle as Bucky covers your mouth with his flesh hand.
“Y/N just needed some help with the onions. I can’t watch her cry. Even if they are not real tears.”
“You’ve got a weak spot for our wife.”
You grin.
“She’ll do anything to help us, Stevie. Cutting the onions for her was nothing,” Bucky shrugs. “Now, back to our new neighbors. Anything we should know?”
“Hmm…” Steve looks out the window. “Fury checked on them for me.” You watch Steve get his phone out. He unlocks it to open the document Fury sent to him this morning.
“Our newly arrived neighbors are Louisa and Cherise Milton. Louisa is an elementary school teacher, Cherise is a bookkeeper. They have been married for five years and bought the house three months ago. No police record.”
“I don’t trust them,” Bucky turns back around to stare out of the window. “What if they are undercover?"
“She’s got a cute ass in those shorts,” you say. “A pretty little thing. Her wife is a lucky woman.”
“What?” Steve huffs. “Uh-aren’t we pretty enough? I thought you love my ass!”
“I love it,” Bucky looks at his husband up and down. “Yeah, I love it, baby.”
“It’s still America's ass,” you giggle. “Do you think they are trustworthy neighbors or people wanting to kill us in our sleep?”
“Great, now you made it,” Steve sighs deeply as Bucky switches to protective mode. He checks the windows and closes the curtains. “Buck, she was joking.”
Steve follows Bucky around the house. “Baby, they are harmless. Trust me.”
“Last time I trusted you the coffee maker almost killed Alpine,” Bucky stops in his tracks to point at the white cat following him and Steve. “I won’t let anyone hurt my two people or Alpine.”
“Bucky baby,” you run after Bucky. “I was joking. They won’t try to kill us. Let’s just forget about them and have dinner.”
“No! I will check the windows and doors first.”
“You remember that Edith is still running security at our house, right?” Steve sighs as his husband doesn't listen. “Baby, I swear they are harmless, and Fury made sure someone is keeping an eye on them.”
Bucky asks, "What?" and you jerk your head toward your husband. “Steve, what are you hiding from us?”
“You’re not the only ones wanting to make sure we can enjoy retirement and live a normal life. The background check didn't satisfy Fury."
“Now you got me really worried," you huff. “Bucky let’s check the house together. Stevie, follow us. We got to stay together not like people in a horror movie always walking around a creepy house alone…”
“Y/N…Bucky,” Steve groans. “I was joking… Babes? Hey…”
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Steve needed almost an hour to convince you and Bucky that your new neighbors are no threat. He regretted his joke and apologized repeatedly during dinner.
Now you are cuddling on the sofa like most nights. You are resting your back against Steve’s chest while Bucky places his head in your lap.
“Do you think they are planning to mow their lawn soon? It looks awful," you ask.
Steve and Bucky start laughing at your question.
You decide to keep a close eye on your new neighbors. No matter what Fury and Steve say... 
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swiftllama · 1 month
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January Compliments ☀️🔍
[Compliments Masterlist]
Hello everyone and welcome to the first Compliments Post of 2024! Hope the year has started off well for you all, and if not, then I hope this post can at least provide a little bit of joy to your day 🫶
We may be only one month in but the boys have been delivering since the very first day 🙌 So let’s get into it shall we! :-
January 2024
Ian’s 2023 Wrap Up
So to start us off, first day of the year and Mr Sunshine was already tugging at our heartstrings with his wrap up of 2023, and who made his 2023 what it was? Well Anthony of course 🥹
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STOP IT! RIGHT NOW! 😩
LIKE WHAT IS THIS??? IM MEANT TO COPE WITH THIS??? HOW???
The fact the WHOLE post is Anthony - from the photos to the caption! EVERY SINGLE PHOTO HAS ANTHONY 😭 Also don’t even get me started on the two unseen photos and the fact they’ve been kept from us till now. How dare 😤 AND the fact the first person he thanked was Anthony! Like yes he’s thanking and appreciating many people with this post but come on now, from the pictures alone it’s clear who made his year. This is just SO SPECIAL! Especially coming from Ian, who isn’t normally a big one for sharing his emotions (I think we’ve seen a change with that recently though), but this is BIG!
Anthony also in return left a sweet comment :-
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“proud of you buddy.”
CRYING 😭 They kill me these two, couldn’t even go one day without being sappy to each other - not that I’m complaining. And as much as I would love to just sit here in this gooeyness, we’ve got a lot to get through so I must move on 🥲
LEGEND OF ZELDA RAP (Flashback)
So they reacted to the classic Legend Of Zelda Rap in this Flashback eps and got a few little compliments thrown in :-
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[discussing the scene of Ian dressed as Link winking at the camera that spawned a viral gif]
Anthony: “That for some reason was a clip that went viral- or a gif that went viral.”
Ian: “Yeah, it’s like horny posters.”
Anthony: “Yeah.”
Ian: “Yeah.”
Anthony: “I see it way too much.”
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[shoutout editor Kortney for this 😆]
Ian: “Gotta say, never looked better.”
Anthony: “That’s true.”
Anthony agrees 😏
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Erin: [asking Ian if he had spicy time in the Link outfit like Anthony said about the Assassin’s Creed outfit in their 2 Truths 1 Lie eps]
Ian: “I did not have spicy time in the Link outfit because that outfit was very tight, there was not much of a range of motion in it.”
Anthony: “Right. Well you could be a pillow princess in that.”
Ian: “I’m not a pillow princess.”
Anthony: “Oh really?”
Ian: “Yeah.”
Anthony: “I’ve heard otherwise.”
[look at each other and Anthony laughs]
Ian: “Oh yeah, cause canonically we had sex for seven years.”
Anthony: [laughs] “In the Food Battle lore.”
Ian: “Yeah. Canonically in Food Battle, we’ve had sex for seven years. You know every crevice of my body.”
Anthony: “Of your anatomy.”
Ian: “Yeah.”
Anthony: “Anywho…”
Ian: “Wow, this went a weird place.”
Anthony: “Back to looking at Link in his prime.”
Ian: “Back to me looking freakin’ HAWT.”
Anthony: “Yeah.”
Just them casually discussing the fact they’ve canonically had sex for 7 years and then Anthony once again agreeing Ian looked hot in the Link outfit… I don’t think I even need to say anything.
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Anthony: “Oh! And I just want to give a shoutout to myself.”
Ian: “Oh, [sings] shoutout to myself.”
Anthony: “I painstakingly added those fucking stars [in the scene] for some reason. I thought they were so necessary.”
Ian: “Yeah, no, that was sick.”
Ian giving Anthony a little compliment for his hard work 😊
Speaking of the stars it was also something Ian brought up again later when they appeared in the video again :-
Ian: “Stars. Stars.”
Anthony: “Oh yeah. Stars. We got ‘em in there.”
Very cute how he wanted to shoutout Anthony’s work again ☺️
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Erin: “That’s Anthony?! [as Ganondorf]”
Ian: “Yeah.”
Anthony: “Shut up. You knew that was me.”
Erin: “That’s crazy.”
Ian: “You didn’t know that was Anthony?”
Erin: “Where’d your, like, jaw go?”
Ian: “What do you mean? He’s got an epic jaw.”
Ian got so defensive on Anthony’s behalf here, I love it! Reminded me of the moments from Who Meme’d It when Anthony was defending Ian 😌
And that was us for this video!
Moving on…
SOUP!
Gets a big title cause why not!
But yes, soup! So Ian has gotten into making soup this year and on that same Friday we got the Flashback, that evening we were blessed out of nowhere with these stories :-
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THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THESE 😩
Like this is the cutest, most domesticated shit ever! They kill me!!!!
And okay yes when that first photo was posted I thought Ian was right then and there cooking it for him, Ian then responded with this :-
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Let me live in my fantasies Ian! 😤
But regardless of Mr dashing-my-dreams Hecox, I’m still of the mindset they were hanging out that day and that’s when Ian gave him the container of soup.
Evidence :-
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This photo only. That I believe Anthony took 😌
Also I try not to make these posts too shipper-heavy so that everyone may enjoy them if they’re just here for the friendship alone, so I’ll just leave this other little post I made here about some other thoughts I had on this soup situation that isn’t in the friendship realm 🤭 All cool if that’s not for you though!
VidConfessions
So 7 months later Vidcon finally decided to post this little interview they had with them lol. And even with such a short video we still got a few complimentary/cute moments :-
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So Anthony was being his usual self and finding Ian the funniest person alive as always. There was a couple moments where Ian gave his answers and you just hear Anthony’s laugh in the background 🥰
Q: What are the last three things you Googled?
Ian: “Jared Leto cult…”
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He’s a cutie ☺️
And it happened again!
Q: What’s the cringest thing you’ve ever done for views?
Ian: “I mean like our whole channel’s cringe.”
Anthony, once again: [laughing in the background]
Love him and how much he loves Ian and his humour 😊
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This was just one wee last bit I thought was cute :-
Ian: [signing out the video] “This has been Ian from Smosh, that’s right, the channel that is 17 and a half years old that’s doing sketch comedy again with my best friend Anthony.”
Can never resist them calling each other ‘best friend’ so of course had to include it!
Making of Pokémon In Real Life 2024
So they brought back the classic Pokémon In Real Life sketch, and from that obviously we got the BTS. Only a couple little moments from this one but just wanted to include them cause they were silly 🤓
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Ian: [sneezes] “Sorry. Your hairspray.”
Anthony: “Ohhh… he’s allergic to me [smirks].”
👀 Don’t know what that was about but alrighty, Anthony…
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Ian: [cuts his finger and there’s a dot of blood]
Anthony: “Oh my god, dude. Are you okay?”
Ian: “No, I’m not okay. Trigger warning gore.”
Anthony: “Do you need someone to suck out the blood?”
Why did this just turn into Saltburn? Don’t know what Anthony was on with the these two moments but I won’t question it 😝 And despite saying ‘someone’, he was definitely offering to suck the blood from Ian’s finger himself 🤭
Pokémon In Real Life 2024 Watch Party
Of course with the sketch and BTS we got a livestream, which gave us some cute and complimentary moments 😊
To kick off this livestream I just wanna point out that they were wearing matching colours with Anthony’s jacket and Ian’s hoodie, plus matching Smosh Pokémon hats which is very cute 😊
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Ian: [apologising for getting annoyed in the BTS due to the background noise messing up their filming] “Dude, this video. This Pokémon video. I apologise if I looked very angry in the behind the scenes.”
Anthony: [laughs] “You didn’t look that bad. Honestly, it amped up accurately.”
Erin: “The compilation of you getting angry, it was pretty funny.”
Anthony: Yeah, so it was justified. People knew why you were angry.”
Love the reassurance from Anthony here so that Ian isn’t worried about how he came across in the video.
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[take their hats off]
Ian: “How’s my hair? Is it weird?”
Anthony: “Is mine weird? Yours is fine.”
Ian: “No, I feel like yours is like, yours has like a messy chic to it, you know.”
Them just complimenting each other’s hair - here for it! Also Ian’s added compliment of “messy chic” 😄
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[playing Pokémon quiz]
I&A: “Jinx.”
Crew: [laughs]
Anthony: [smiles and points to Ian] “Jinx.”
Ian: “That’s our favourite. Favourite Pokémon.”
Funny because it’s both the Pokémon’s name and they said it at the same time 😝 Cute how Ian also got in that that’s their favourite ☺️
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[complete the quiz]
Anthony: “Dude, 100 percent, bro.”
I&A: [high-five]
Of course always gotta include the highfives 😌
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After the quiz they go on to play a Pikachu x Sonic crossover. Anthony plays a round and then Ian goes to play but can’t get the controls to work for him so Anthony’s showing him what to do 🥹 I don’t feel the need to include what they said here as it’s just Anthony saying what buttons to push but just wanted to include a little description of what was happening at this moment 😊
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Ian: [completes the game]
Anthony: “You won the game.” [clapping]
Just another little cute moment I wanted to include of Anthony clapping for Ian 🙂
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[playing Pokémon Among Us]
Anthony: [playing the game well]
Ian: “Alright, I hate that you’re like kind of eating.” [as Ian kept dying]
A begrudging little compliment from Ian there 😄
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[signing the livestream off]
Ian: “Happy New Year, hope the holidays were a fun time for you and you had some eggnog and sat by the campfire…”
Anthony: “Roasting chestnuts.”
Ian: “Roasting chestnuts.”
Anthony: “Or chestnut. I’m not making any assumptions.”
Ian: “….What?”
Anthony: “Just if they don’t have more than one chestnut.”
Ian: “Ohh, okay. I don’t know if you could buy a singular chestnut but…”
Anthony: “I think there’s a way.”
Ian: “Go off king.”
Just a silly little one to end on because I wanted to include Ian calling Anthony ‘king’ 🤭
Can I Guess Who Slapped Me?
So the video of Anthony getting slapped finally dropped! And it was everything and more, especially when it came to moments between Ian and Anthony so let’s jump right in :-
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Right off the bat we had this as the description for Ian…
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👀👀👀
Now onto the actual slapping…
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The moment that got us all was just before Ian slaps him he slowly started caressing Anthony’s face so obviously that had us all going crazy! Including the cast and crew!
Anthony: [after the slap] “Oh. Wow. Uhhh, this person thinks they’re hilarious.” [laughs]
Cast & Crew: [laughing]
Ian: [Trying not to laugh]
Anthony: “Uhhh, who would do that? Who would caress my face and slap me out of nowhere?”
Ian: [boops Anthony’s nose]
Anthony: “Uh, it feels like an Ian move to me… Did you just boop me? Um, that feels like an Ian move.”
Kiana: “That is correct.”
Everyone: [celebrating and applauding]
Anthony: [puts his hands out and Ian high-fives him]
Angela: “Friendship always wins!”
Ian: “Well done. Well done. Good job to you.”
Anthony: [bowing]
Ian: “There we go. There we go. That’s the only one you truly needed to get right.”
Anthony: [laughs]
So true Ian! That was the most important one he needed to get right! And I just want to point out how Ian was only the 3rd person Anthony got right, and of course he knew it was him right away with his cheeky little joke of “this person thinks they’re hilarious” 😝 he knew the second Ian caressed his face that it was him cause they truly just know each other that well ☺️ Live for Angela yelling “Friendship always wins!” after he got it right too! And can we also talk about the totally unnecessary, but very, very cute little nose boop Ian threw in there just cause he wanted to! Obsessed!
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A little bit later in the video during Duran’s round of slapping Anthony another little moment happened that I just wanted to include cause I thought that it was funny and showed how silly of a mood Ian was in, I think Anthony being blindfolded was playing a part in that and he gained a little extra layer of confidence to just fuck about with Anthony 😆
Anthony: [standing with his butt pushed out waiting to be slapped]
Kiana: “The stance is great. The stance is great.”
Ian: [runs over and pretends to go in to slap Anthony’s butt]
Anthony: “Why’s there wind?”
Cast & Crew: [laugh]
Hehe 🤭
Anyways! That was it for the slapping video but I did also want to include something that came off the back of it and that was…
Bonus
Anthony dedicating a whole Instagram post to Ian slapping him :-
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Obessed with this though! The fact he went out of his way to make a post specifically about Ian slapping him over anyone else, plus that caption! ‘only ian would slap me like that’ - truly the cherry on top of it all 😌
Jacksfilms Confesses His Biggest Regret
So they had Jacksfilms on as a guest for Flashback to react to some of his old videos and an old collab of his the boys had been a part of.
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Jack: [talking about how he moved to LA after he graduated] “…And that’s when I started collaborating with some, then, very big YouTube channels.”
Anthony: [looks at Ian] “Yeah, back then we were big.” [elbows Ian and Ian elbows him back]
Them just being silly 😄 loved the little elbowing of each other too 😊
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Jack: “I remember I was in college, I was like out hanging with my friends. I just got 50,000 subs on YouTube, baby. And one of my friends just like took the air right out of my tire, or sails, whatever, and was like ‘Uh, yeah, did you know that Smosh has like a million now?’.”
Ian: “Pffft.”
Anthony: [silent laughs] “Noice!” [high-fives Ian] “Noice!”
Again, just more of them being silly. Plus high-five!
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I should have mentioned at the start of this section that Ian is in a tshirt-dress for this video as a reference to Jack as it’s got tweets of his printed on it. Anyway, as a result his legs are out obviously, and that’s relevant to this next part :-
Anthony: [talking about how there’s always an audience for every kind of content, it’s just about what kind of audience you want to have]
Ian: “That’s true. And you want this audience.” [pointing to show off his legs]
Anthony: “You want this.”
Ian: “You want the audience that accepts this.”
Anthony: “This is what you want. This is the audience that we have. And we are very happy with this audience.”
Ian: “Exactly.”
Anthony: “They’ve been begging for this.”
And we’re more than happy to be the audience for it! 😌 (As is Anthony considering how many times he was checking out Ian’s legs during this video 😉)
Anthony also had this to say about YouTube’s hate for Ian’s attire 😤
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Jack: [talking about a sponsorship he done with other youtubers to test out a new workout program]
Ian: “Did you get Jaaaacked?”
Anthony: [looks at Ian with a smirk and high-fives him]
Second high-five for this video! Also Anthony just quietly complimenting Ian’s pun 😄
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Ian: “Do you [Jack] have any regrets? Any videos that you regret making?” [smiling]
Anthony: “You look so happy saying that.” [smiling] “This is happiest I’ve seen you all episode.” [laughs]
Just thought it was cute how Anthony seeing Ian smiling made him smile and laugh 😊
And that was it for another Flashback!
No1 Ian Fan Strikes Again
So Anthony was back at it! The Smosh team was out celebrating one of the crews birthday - Erin posted this to her story. Now I’m sure there were probably multiple photos and videos taken this night but what was the only thing Anthony shared from it? That’s right! Ian of course!
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He’s obsessed with that boy and I love it! 😌
Ian also reshared and replied to Anthony’s story which you can find here
Making Of “MrBeast Copycats Have Gone Too Far”
So the BTS of the MrBeast Copycats Have Gone Too Far sketch offered us a few little moments :-
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So this seemed to be a very high-five, hand-hold heavy BTS. Think they were just in one of those moods where they want any excuse to touch each other 🤭😉
[Finishing off their little video introduction]
Anthony: [goes in to high-five Ian and grips his hand]
Ian: [high-fives Anthony back and also grips his hand in response]
I&A: [still holding each other’s hands] “Let’s go shoot this shit!”
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Ian: [messing up his line] “I’m having a trouble! I’m having a trouble…” [facepalms]
Shayne: “That’s so funny. ‘I’m having a trouble’.”
Anthony and Courtney: [laughing]
Anthony: [to Ian] “Are you having a trouble?” [puts hand on Ian’s shoulder]
Ian: “I’m having a trouble. Words.”
Anthony: [laughs]
I know they were (lovingly) poking fun at Ian here, but the wee glimpse of the shoulder touch from Anthony to Ian is what got me ☺️
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I&A: [In character but joking around]
Ian: “There’s a twist. There’s a twist.” [puts hand out to Anthony] “There’s a twist.”
Anthony: “There’s a twist.” [takes Ian’s hand and grips it]
I&A: [still holding hands whilst lightly pushing/tapping each other and repeating “there’s a twist”. They then start scissoring their fingers together, before gripping each other’s fingers and pulling the other in closer to them whilst now repeating “getting twisted” and manically laughing]
Well… that was… something… 👀
Told you they were just looking for any excuse to touch each other. But hey, wouldn’t be a Smosh BTS if Ian and Anthony weren’t flirting with each other 😜
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And to finish off this high-five heavy BTS, I’ll leave you with this :-
Ian: [talking about how Anthony injured himself by dropping a laptop on his foot and how he should take an Advil but Anthony doesn’t take Advil so he doesn’t know if it’ll help]
Anthony: “I don’t care about the pain, I just want the throbbing to stop.”
Ian: “He doesn’t like throbbing.”
Anthony: “I don’t like throbbing. I like pulsating.”
Ian: [laughs] “I hate both of those words.”
Anthony: [laughs] “Yeah, usually I say throbbing or pulsating member…”
Ian: [acting disgusted]
Anthony: “Speaking of members thank you so much being a Smoshtastic or Smosh Royalty member!”
Ian: “Yeah! Thanks for being our throbbing members.” [laughs]
Anthony: “Our pulsating members.”
Ian: “Yeahhh, throbbing members.”
I&A: [high-five]
Um… thanks boys, I guess… happy to be a throbbing and pulsating member… 🥴🤦‍♀️ They high-fived so I had to include it, don’t blame me for what they said! 😩
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And on that’s note that brings us to the end of January! Hope you all enjoyed reading - I’d say it was a very good start to the year in terms of content, and the boys very much delivered in terms of complimentary moments so can’t complain 😌
Thank you all again for reading and I shall see you next time! 💖
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