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cowgurrrl · 1 year

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darlin’ i’d wait for you

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (plus platonic Ellie Williams x fem!reader)

Author’s note: Inspired by my real life love for my godchildren. Mis almas, no hay nadie que ame más que tú. Gracias por elegirme.

Summary: “Ten fingers. Ten toes. And even if you had none of them, you’d still be the grandest thing I’ve ever seen.” - Emily Henry, Beach Read aka you and Joel have a baby [3.0k]

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, descriptions of labor and delivery (nothing graphic), swearing, lots of emotions, fluff

"You need to be resting!" Maria says as you pace the living room with your hands on your hips. Ellie is watching you move from her space in the kitchen, her knee bouncing with anxiety as she sits there.

"You need to find Joel!"

"Tommy's getting him right now. Please, just lay down."

"I'm fine," another contraction ripples through your body, and you grip the back of the couch. "Fuck! I can't believe Joel convinced me to do this again!" You yell. The pain tightens in your lower abdomen, and you drop your head to the cushions, unable to focus on anything else. Strong hands press against the small of your back, applying the perfect counter pressure to your contraction. The tension releases just enough for you to pick your head up and find Maria standing over your shoulder, a knowing look in her eyes. No words need to be exchanged for her to know how grateful you are for her presence.

The contractions have been coming and going since late last night, but you didn't think much of it. They were sporadic and not painful enough to make you think you were in labor. You had false contractions with Jane and expected the same thing with this one, except that these contractions became very real very fast. Joel was already out on patrol when you had Ellie run to Tommy and Maria's for additional help because they were getting so bad. This baby is coming soon.

"Do you have a bag ready to go?" Maria asks as the contraction ends, and you nod, pushing yourself up.

"In our bedroom closet, but it's missing some stuff."

"Okay, tell me what you need, and I'll pack it."

"I can do it."

"Honey, if you walk up those stairs, there's no way you'll make it back down." She says, and you sigh. Reluctantly, you list some last-minute things that need to get thrown in the bag and where they'll be. Maria turns on her heels and sprints up the stairs, ever a woman on a mission. Ellie walks over to you as Maria's figure disappears, standing awkwardly near you as you hold your belly.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to scare you." You say, wrapping her in a hug or as much of a hug as you can manage with the baby in between you. She relaxes and lets out a big breath as you rub her back.

"I feel like I should be the one comforting you."

"I've done this before. I know what I'm doing."

"Yeah, but that was before," the fear in her voice rattles you to your core, and you pull away to look at her. Her bottom lip is cracked and bleeding from her teeth worrying at it all morning, and she looks like the scared kid you met in Boston. "You really should be on the way to the hospital."

"As soon as Joel gets here, I'll go, okay?" You say, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She shakes her head, and you open your mouth to say something more, but the vice grip returns, and you grip her shoulders. Your head bows under the weight of the pain, and you clutch Ellie like a lifeline.

"Okay, they're getting closer together. Maria!" Ellie yells as she holds you upright. You vaguely register Maria rushing down the stairs and telling Ellie something, but you don't have enough energy to listen. Time could've stopped right there, and you would've had no way of knowing. No stab wound, gunshot, or punch even comes close to this pain level. Your breathing is uneven, and you can feel yourself sweating bullets despite the cool August air. You thought you were ready. You thought you knew what to expect after Jane, but this is different. You wonder why you thought you could have another baby as the contraction fades. Maria says your name, and you pick your head up from Ellie's shoulder.

"We need to get you to the hospital right now. Joel will meet us there." She says, but you shake your head, the lump of panic in your throat tightening. Memories of begging your mom, Jane's dad, friends, or anyone to come to the hospital so you wouldn't be alone replay in your head. You were alone and scared and sixteen fucking years old when you had Jane on a stormy Tuesday morning. The nurses looked at you like a kicked puppy and mumbled, "a baby having a baby," under their breaths when they left you to cry alone while holding your newborn.

"No, no, no. Joel's not here yet. I'm not going without him."

"I promise that Tommy will bring him to you. I'm sure they're on their way back now."

"I'm not going by myself!" The harshness in your tone makes everybody in the room pause. "I've already done this alone once, and I'm not fucking doing it again. So, we are going to wait for Joel even if I have this baby on the fucking floor! Do you understand me?"

"Hey," Ellie says softly. "Hey, you're not alone. At all. We're all here because we love you and want you to be safe. Nobody is going to leave, okay?" She says, rubbing your back as tears fill your eyes.

"I can't do this." without her, you want to add, but you don't. Ellie pushes the sweaty hair out of your eyes and holds your face so you can look at her. Your breath is shaky, and you feel like you could shatter into a million pieces, but her brown eyes are looking into yours so intently that you have no choice but to look back.

"You can. You can do this. You're doing so good. You're going to have this baby, and it'll probably be the cutest fucking baby ever. And we'll all make stupid faces at it and love it even though I don't even think I like most babies, and you'll be okay. Both of you," her eyes don't move from yours as she speaks, even when you start crying. "You're not alone, but I can tell you're in pain, and we need to get to the hospital before it gets worse, okay?" She asks, and you take a shaky breath before nodding. Ellie and Maria seem to let out sighs of relief at the same time, and they start ushering you to the door when it opens.

"I'm here! I'm here! I'm sorry I'm late," Joel yells as he and Tommy run in. He smiles and runs over and kisses you. You have half a mind to smack him for looking so giddy when you're in so much pain, but let him kiss you anyway. "You ready to have a baby?" He asks as another contraction tightens in your stomach, making you squeeze him tightly. You don't get to see your family scrambling to get out the door, but you feel it. Bags and coats find owners as your entourage helps support you down the steps of your home and on the path to the hospital.

Four contractions come and go on the way to the hospital doors, where Maria, Tommy, and Ellie cheer and promise to wait there until you're ready for them. "Almost there, baby. We're gonna get you all the good drugs, okay?" Joel tells you quietly as he flags down a nurse and a wheelchair for you. The nurse asks rapid-fire questions as she rushes you into a delivery room, and Joel does his best to answer them. You curl into yourself the second your body hits the hospital bed, yet another contraction hitting you, but this time with a familiar splitting pain. You're not going to have time for the good drugs.

The rest is a blur of doctors, nurses, questions, and Joel whispering praises into your temple. Your vision struggles to focus on anything as pain radiates from your hips to your back and up your spine. It's excruciating and dizzying, and you think you'd throw up if you weren't so focused on getting this fucking kid out. "One more, baby. One more push, and then it's over." Joel tells you. You don't respond. You can't. All the blood rushes through your ears, and you squeeze his hand hard. For a moment, the whole world stops, and tears fall down Joel's face as the tiny baby is placed on your chest. You gasp and hold them close as they screech, announcing their arrival loudly.

"It's a girl!" Someone announces, and you laugh weakly, struggling to catch your breath. You look down at your daughter and kiss her head as she continues to cry.

"You're okay. I've got you. We're okay, sweetheart. You're safe," you tell her, rubbing her back. Joel reaches out to trace the apple of her cheek and grabs her tiny hand. You and Joel join her crying, everything besides your family becoming obsolete. Joel presses a chaste kiss to your lips and smiles when you laugh against him. "I told you so." You say, and he laughs.

"You were right," he says. "I'm so proud of you." He kisses you again as your daughter cries beautifully on your chest. Jane didn't cry at first when she was born, effectively scaring the shit out of you and everyone else in the room, but when she finally did, it was like you were breathing for the first time, too. You think this may be the first time since her death that you've felt that much peace.

Joel cuts the cord, and the room devolves into a controlled madness with nurses and doctors calling things back and forth to each other. You don't care. The little girl on your chest has settled down and tucked her head under your chin, listening to your rapid heartbeat and recognizing the pattern. "We're right here, baby girl. We're not going anywhere, okay?" You whisper to her, kissing her over and over again. She smiles, and you immediately recognize Joel's crooked smile— nine months of carrying her and a record-breakingly fast delivery for her to be his twin.

"Mama, we're gonna take her to get cleaned up and get her measurements, okay? The doctor's working on getting you fixed up, too." A nurse says, and you nod.

"Just be careful, please. I made her from scratch, and it took a really fucking long time." You say as you pass her to the nurse. Everyone, including Joel, laughs even though you're serious. Joel leaves your side only to follow the nurse to the other side of the room, watching her every movement meticulously. You keep eyes on both of them. She starts fussing as the nurse cleans her up, and Joel reaches out to smooth her hair. He says something to her that you can't hear and watch him start crying again. She settles down again, but Joel is a mess. The nurse offers him a tissue, and you laugh to yourself but don't do anything to get his attention.

Let them have their secret conversation. You have a feeling it will be the first of many.

She's asleep, but you can't stop looking at her. Joel is lying in the hospital bed with you as she rests in his arms, your chin hooked over his shoulder so you can stare at her. The little girl who gave you enough excitement for a lifetime is bundled up in a white blanket with a striped hat covering her dark hair. Her legs are long and skinny, but she's strong, grasping anything within reach.

She has his nose and lips, but your eyes match. Her little chest rises and falls steadily, and little sighs come from her occasionally as she sleeps. Her hand somehow escaped the swaddle, and her fingers flex around the blanket's fabric like she's trying to decide whether she likes it. Joel reaches for her tiny hand and tries to tuck it away again, but she resists, making an angry face until he lets go. You laugh and melt simultaneously at her actions.

"She's perfect," you whisper as you kiss Joel's shoulder. He hums and turns to kiss your temple. "How did we get so lucky?"

"I've no idea," he whispers back. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Her. This. Making me a dad again." His voice is so tender and raw that your eyes mist up again. You sniffle and wipe your eyes.

"Anytime, cowboy," you rest your hand on her chest to feel the little heartbeat you made from nothing but stardust and blood. Her face scrunches up in her sleep before her little fingers find yours. "Well, maybe not anytime, but you know what I meant."

"Oh, 'm ready for another one right now."

"Never in a million fucking years could you convince me to do that again."

"You did great." He says, and you smile. You're both exhausted and should be sleeping, but you can't stop looking at the life you created together. She's not even a day old, and you know you would tear the world into a thousand pieces if she asked you to. You would do anything for her.

"D'you still like the name we picked?" You ask, and he nods.

"Do you?"

"I think it's perfect for her."

"Hey, guys," a nurse peeks her head in the door. "Are we ready for some visitors?" She asks. You nod, and Joel adjusts baby girl in his arms. Her little arm reaches up in a stretch, and she fusses when she loses the grip on your hand. You tell her you're not far, and Joel bounces her.

"Hey," Ellie says softly as she enters the room. You smile and sit up, ignoring the jarring pain in your hips at the movement. "Oh, my God. How are you feeling?" She asks as she hugs you like she's afraid she'll break you if she holds you too tight. You rub her back and kiss her head.

"I'm okay. I delivered pretty much the second they could get me to lay down."

"I knew we should've gone to the hospital sooner!" Ellie says, and Joel shushes her. She makes an eek face as she looks at him.

"A baby's tryin' to sleep here."

"Holy shit," she breathes, taking in the bundle in Joel's arms for the first time. "Girl or boy?"

"I'm pretty sure the Millers are only capable of having girls at this point," you say, and Ellie smiles. "Do you wanna hold her?"

"Can I?" She asks as Joel stands. She's unsure what to do but copies Joel's position and puts a hand under her back.

"Support her head," Joel instructs quietly as he carefully transitions your daughter into Ellie's arms.

"I got it. I got it," she says. Instinctively, she starts swaying back and forth and patting the baby's back. Joel stays nearby, watching as Ellie gets comfortable holding her. Your heart could explode seeing the three of them together. "Who are you?" She asks quietly, pulling the blanket under the baby's chin so she can see her.

"This is Charlotte Elaine Miller," you say. "Charlie, for short."

"Hey there, Charlie girl. My name's Ellie."

"She's your big sister." Joel adds. Even though he's talking to Charlie, he's looking at Ellie. She takes a shaky breath as she processes his words. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and kisses her forehead.

"I'm one of your big sisters," she says. The pregnancy hormones and the day's emotions catch up with you, and you couldn’t stop the tears even if you wanted to. Something about seeing Ellie with Charlie hits you hard. "I've got so much to teach you and tell you about when you're a little bigger, though. There's not much I can do with you right now except, well, this," She shrugs as if to make her point to the sleeping baby, and you laugh. Charlie stretches again, probably getting used to having so much room now that she's out of you, and yawns. "Oh, big yawn. Good job." Ellie praises.

"You're a natural," Joel says, making her smile.

"I dunno about that, but she does like me. Right, Charlie girl?" she asks, and the Charlie girl in question chuffs. "Oh, we're gonna have so much fun together." She says sincerely. Joel meets your eyes, sending you a knowing look and a crooked smile, and you smile back a little sadly. He works at his jaw, and his Adam's apple bobs as his eyes sparkle with tears again. No words need to be exchanged. You know. You may be one of the only people who know. Ellie rambles to Charlie, ever the present audience, and you remember, silent and pious in your devotion.

You think you'll spend your whole life remembering, a constant scramble for pieces of memories that bring her closer. You think you'll find bits of her in music, the summer sun, and your girls' eyes. You think you'll tell Charlie of her big sisters, who were loved and cherished beyond belief, and their shared adoration of Patti Smith. You think you'll be able to find a way to talk about her that doesn't feel like your soul is desperately ripping away from you. For Sarah, Jane, Ellie, and now Charlie, you think you would do anything.

Even after so much loss, destruction, and nights spent hopelessly staring at the wall like it would be enough to start Jane's heart again, you think you would do it all again. The world can be a really shitty place, and you've seen firsthand how horrible people can be to each other. You and Joel have been a million different versions of awful people, and you can never escape that. But you have Ellie and Charlie. And each other. And for a moment, in this horribly lit hospital room, every minute of that misery has meaning.

💓

taglist: @evyiione @nyotamalfoy @abbyhaslongshorts

#the last of us #joel and ellie #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #the last of us x reader #joel tlou #ellie williams #joel miller the last of us #joel miller fluff #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x pregnant reader #big sister Ellie Williams #there’s such an Easter egg in the baby’s name #first person to look up the name meanings gets a kiss on the mouth #look for the light

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csg-iii · 1 year

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Well, Marlene, maybe you would know what Ellie would have decided if you hadn’t decided not to tell her, not to cause her any fear, not to give Ellie time to really think about the idea of dying for a potential vaccine that would have to be somehow mass-produced and distributed by a group with scarce resources who couldn’t even manage to get Ellie to that hospital by themselves to a world full of, in Marlene’s own words, infected who would still torn people apart and murderous raiders.

If Marlene had given Joel the chance to talk to Ellie at the hospital, and if after thinking about it Ellie still decided to go through with the surgery anyway, then Joel’s hands would have been tied. But Marlene and the Fireflies dug their own grave when they took away Ellie’s choice first.

#the last of us #the last of us spoilers #joel miller #marlene the last of us #ellie williams #look for the light #tlou #tlou 1x09

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mermaidgirl30 · 4 months

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✨ Look for the Light Masterlist ✨

Decided to do a mood board for my fic “Look for the Light” 🩵 It’s on A03 as well and has a playlist. This one is a slow burn, action packed, twisty ride. I hope you enjoy! Their relationship is absolutely canon 😍 This is my very first fic, and I put my entire heart and soul into it and have been working on it for six months. I am so over the moon with how well this story came out and am just so proud of it 🥰 This is forever my baby, and I cannot wait to continue my writing and more Joel fics! I hope you enjoy this beautiful work of art I have put together. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated 😊

- Rating: Explicit (18+ only MDNI)

- Word Count: 187,394

- Summary: Aly finds herself trying to escape the Boston QZ. What Aly doesn’t know is Tess is pairing her up with Joel to go on a dangerous mission to find Tommy. Will Aly survive the brooding, moody Joel or will she find herself falling hard for him? (This fic is in both Aly and Joel’s POV)

- Tags: Angst, fluff, smut, slow burn, attempted sexual assault, kidnapping, enemies to lovers, unprotected p in v, gratuitous smut, joel x fem! reader, original character, protective Joel, anxiety, ptsd, sexual tension, mutual pining, eventual smut, younger female/older man, grumpy Joel, death, violence

This is me trying is so Joel coded, and I got a lot of inspiration in this story from this song 🩵

Chapter 1: Introductions

Chapter 2: Escaping

Chapter 3: Knife Practice

Chapter 4: Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

Chapter 5: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Chapter 6: Panic Attacks and Blue Eyes

Chapter 7: What You Say Goes

Chapter 8: Thunderstorms and Heartbreak

Chapter 9: Safe, In My Arms

Chapter 10: Bow and Arrow Lessons

Chapter 11: Vacancy in a Cabin

Chapter 12: Taken

Chapter 13: David’s Territory

Chapter 14: What Town!

Chapter 15: Held Hostage

Chapter 16: Stay With Me

Chapter 17: Your Hand In Mine

Chapter 18: Slow Dancing In a Burning Room

Chapter 19: Back to the Lodge

Chapter 20: Taking David Down

Chapter 21: Burn It Down, Burn It All Down

Chapter 22: Liars

Chapter 23: Finding Ellie

Chapter 24: Welcome to Jackson

Chapter 25: Slow Hands

Chapter 26: You Are In Love

Chapter 27: Bubble Baths and Sweet Affections

Chapter 28: Guitar Lessons and Heart Strings

Chapter 29: Complications

Chapter 30: Protecting What’s Yours

Chapter 31: This Love

Epilogue : Proposal

Epilogue Pt II: Wedding Day

Soft - Extra little piece I wrote about Joel being in love

Trailer for my series 🥰

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toointojoelmiller · 5 months

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Joel Miller's head shakes ™️ (the last of them - pt 2)

Welp. That’s all of them!

Actually, not quite. There are a few subtle ones that were so fast and minute they wouldn’t show up enough to be worth making into a gif - but for the curious… it worked out to exactly 100 Joel Miller head shakes across the 9 episodes 😂 . They increased consistently as the season went on (poor ol Joel). 11 each in episodes 1, 2, and 3, 15 for episode 4, 17 in episode 5 and 6, (none in ep 7 and 8 💀 lol) and episode 9 we got 18!

check them all out here

#I have a phd in Joel Miller head shakes now #joel miller #the last of us #tlou hbo #Pedro pascal #joel millerisms #the last of us hbo #look for the light #joel miller head shakes #my gifs #if I missed any don't tell me

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alyjulietteart · 6 months

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some OMITB fanart :3

gonna make it into a sticker sooooon!

#omitb #omitb season 3 #omitb fanart #only murders in the building #mabel mora #look for the light #which of the pickwick triplets did it #olimabel #the arconia

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ibrithir-was-here · 6 months

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Tada!!! This commission was for the amazing @cuarthol / @nothinghereisworking !! Thank you again for inspiring me and I'm so glad to get to share this comic!

The tale of Elwing, her family and the Silmaril, as retold with the beautiful song, "Look for the Light"

(Yes from Only Murders in the Building but darn it its a beautiful song and it works so well for Elwing)

As always click for better quality

And here's the song

youtube

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brody75 · 1 year

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The Last of Us - Look for the Light

#The Last of Us #Look for the Light #pedro pascal #joel miller #tlou spoilers #tlou edit #tlou series #tlou season 1 #tlou hbo #naughty dog #playstation #TV show #tvedit

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thewildseuphoria · 1 year

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THE LAST OF US SEASON ONE FINALE WALLPAPERS.

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breelynnxoxoxo · 3 months

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STRETCHING TO BE BETTER! 💋💋💋

#be better #a better place #a better self #grow as we go #grow as a person #gorgeous breasts #beautiful breasts #absolutely beautiful #look for the light #reach for the stars

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azertyrobaz · 1 year

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Remember?

#the last of us #the last of us spoilers #tlou #tlou spoilers #joel miller #pedro pascal #joel #ellie williams #bella ramsey #ellie #hbo #hbotlou #long long time #look for the light #my edits

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cowgurrrl · 1 year

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Sweet Jane

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (plus platonic Ellie Williams x fem!reader)

Author’s note: this actually ripped my heart out and made me realize why I don’t write angst

Summary: “If I have children, I hope they live quiet lives. No fires for them. No sickness. No breaking news stories. I hope they die of old age, far from the pages of history books.” - oh, to live unremarkably by Trista Mateer [2.3k]

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, talks of child loss (reader has lost a child) teen pregnancy, tumultuous parent/child relationships, references to a sexual relationship but nothing explicit, reader is a badass because I said so, ANGST

The second you saw her, you knew this was a possibility. You knew it would happen at one point but watched your tongue. You thought it would happen in the middle of a firefight or trying to survive a horde of Infected or some other dangerous situation where you couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of your mouth. It doesn't. It happens on a sunny autumn day while walking away from the ravaged Kansas City. She was trying to show off or prove something to Joel when she tried to run forward without warning. It came out as a gasp as you grabbed her backpack and yanked her back before her foot could slip off the ledge of a cliff. Your heart pounded as you gripped her like you were waiting for her to start falling again. She mumbled a quick sorry before you let her go. She didn't try to run forward again after that.

She waits longer than you expected to ask about it. After you set up camp for the night and cook whatever Joel decided, Ellie looks at you and asks, "who's Jane?" Joel's brows furrow at the question, and your chest tightens. “You called me Jane earlier."

"Jane's my daughter." You catch yourself using the present tense, and grief trickles down your spine like an unpleasant cold shower. Saying that she was your daughter sounds wrong. It's been years now, but you can't make yourself switch. She's still your daughter, even if she's gone. You're still her mom. You'll always be her mom.

"Oh," she gapes, and you nod. You can feel Joel's eyes on you, but you don't look at him. If you do, the words will tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't know." You say, shrugging as if she gave you the wrong directions instead of asking about your kid. She doesn't push the subject anymore, and you eat silently until Ellie crawls into her sleeping bag and falls asleep.

Cicadas' chirps and the fire's crackling fill the space between Joel and you. The stars twinkle as the clouds move in the night sky. It's peaceful. Or it would be, at least, if Joel hadn't been fiddling with his gun for the past twenty minutes. The metal clicking is almost enough to drive you crazy, and you shoot him a look. He freezes and meets your eyes before letting his hands drop.

"Sorry," he says, and you chuckle. He props the gun up next to him and glances around to make sure nothing's decided to sneak close to you.

"I think we're safe," You say.

"For now."

"Joel Miller, ever the optimist."

"It ain't about being optimistic. It's about being smart."

"Right," you shake your head and look at Ellie sleeping in the corner. Her chest rises and falls steadily as she dreams secret dreams. You smile when she snuggles deeper into her sleeping bag and scrunches her nose. "You think she'll be okay?" You ask, meeting his eyes.

"Kids seem to handle these things better."

"Sam was her friend."

"I know." He says. Images of shaky guns, Ellie's screams, and the silence that followed Henry's body hitting the floor replay in your mind in slow motion. You're trying to figure out where it went wrong, when the universe pulled yet another rug out from under you. When you put the two kids to bed, everything was fine, and not even eight hours later, Sam and Henry were dead. How many people will you bury before you get to the Fireflies?

"I'm tired," you admit softly. You can tell by the faraway look in his eyes that he's in his own head, turning things over to look for new details. He's looking for something he missed. "What're you thinking about?" You ask, snapping him out of it, and he shifts uncomfortably.

"You never told me you had a daughter." He finally says, and you nod. You look down at your bootlaces and untie them, so you don't have to look at him.

"It never came up."

"Her name was Jane?" He phrases it like he wasn't listening the first time, but you know he's trying to get you to open up about her.

"Jane Eloise," saying her full name scratches at an unhealed wound deep in your stomach. You think about all the times you shouted those names across the apartment to her. You were always late for school, late for a birthday party, and late for appointments. You're almost positive she would've been late to her own birth if you hadn't been induced. Rushing was the way you lived your life for that decade. You would give anything to be running late with her again. "If I talk about her, I'm gonna cry." You warn.

"That's okay." His voice is so soft, and he's looking at you with those big eyes, and something shifts. You haven't talked about her in years, but something in Joel's demeanor makes you feel safe enough to unlock the door in your brain, holding all her memories.

"I had her when I was sixteen. I was pregnant throughout my sophomore year of high school and had a toddler by the time I went to college. I still don't know how, but I graduated. I was gonna go to med school and start a brand new life, just the two of us. I spent so fucking long studying, but it didn't matter."

"How come I didn't know all this?"

"We agreed to keep our pasts to ourselves when we started," you hesitate—started seeing each other as stress relief and nothing else? Started lying to Tess so you could fuck in alleys in between deals? Started pretending like it meant nothing? "I never thought you'd want to know more than you had to."

"I want to know now," He says like it's the easiest thing in the world. "Did her dad stay around to help you?"

"No, he left the second he got the chance. It was probably for the better, anyway. He was an asshole. I still don't know if he's alive or if he even knows what happened. I don't know if I care enough to find out."

"How old was she when she…" he trails off, the last word dying on his tongue. You swallow around the lump in your throat and take a shaky breath.

"Ten."

"I'm sorry." He says, and you nod. You never knew how to respond to people when they told you they were sorry your kid was dead. You still don't. Nobody tells you about this part in parenting classes.

"We got out on Outbreak Day. Somehow, I kept her alive until I could get her to the QZ nearby. I smuggled there for a few years and made enough money to feed and clothe her. That's better than most people were able to do. I would pick her up from school and walk her home most days but I had a deal with one of my neighbors, Mrs. Carmichael, that if I couldn't pick her up from school, she would. She picked her up a few times, and nothing went wrong. So, when I got caught up in a deal outside the walls one day, I thought it was safe to finish it and be home by dinner," you say, regret washing over you all at once. "Then, Fireflies started dropping bombs. I heard the explosions all the way out there, and I ran back, but it didn't matter. They were both gone."

"When I told my mom I was pregnant, she was furious. She told me that a mother's love is nothing compared to a mother's fury. At least, that was her excuse when she threw me out, but I didn't know if I believed her until that day. After Jane died, I ripped the entire city apart, looking for every single Firefly that had orders to drop bombs that day, and I killed all of them without batting an eye, and it still didn't bring her back. I still woke up every morning and listened for her breathing or the sound of her making cereal in the kitchen. I waited for her to come home every day for years," tears fall from your eyes, and you quickly wipe them away. Joel is clinging to your every word. "I couldn't stay there. My daughter and everyone who could've been responsible for her death was dead, so I came to Boston. Met you and Tess, and that was it."

"That's why you wanted to kill Marlene when we got Ellie." He says, connecting the dots, and you nod.

"I wanted to drop a fucking bomb on her head for what she did. I don't care if that makes me cruel. She killed my kid and called her collateral. Made it seem like she was a part of the cause and not a fucking child just trying to get home from school."

"I get it," he says. You open your mouth to say something about how he could never understand, how nobody ever could, but he beats you to it. "My… Sarah was fourteen," He stumbles over his words. "I wanted to kill the guy who shot her. I didn't care that he was following orders on that day, I wanted him to suffer, but he was already dead."

Joel had a daughter, not much older than yours, and you never talked about either of them. He's one of the only people in the world who can see your pain, the black hole Jane left in you, and show you his matching one. Joel must've been young when he had his daughter, too. Twenty-two, at the very least. How could you have never talked about this?

"What was Sarah like?"

"She was a spitfire and just about the funniest person I've ever known. Smart as hell, too. She was always readin' and telling me everything she learned in school. I never understood half of it, but she loved it," He says, and it's your turn to cling to his every word. His eyes light up as he talks about her. You see now what a good dad he must've been. "Still don't know where she got it from."

"Well, I'd say she got it from her dad. You're smarter than you give yourself credit for." You say, but he shakes his head, refusing the compliment.

"What about Jane? What was she like?" He asks, and you think for a moment. You remember her big brown eyes; how they widened when she was excited about something or glazed over with tears when she was afraid. You remember how her laugh could fill a room. You remember cradling her in your arms when she came into the world and when you found her.

"She was the most beautiful person I've ever met. When she was born, all the nurses would take turns coming into my room to look at her. They couldn't stop telling me how cute she was, and I agreed with them. She was perfect," you smile, remembering how many pictures you took of her tiny face. You had been terrified your entire pregnancy, but the second you saw her, you knew you were meant to be her mom. You felt completely at peace with her, even as young and unprepared as you were.

"She was quiet and curious, but she also had moments where she was loud and careless like kids usually are. I never understood what people meant when they said having kids gave them a whole new idea of what love could be until I had her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me." You say. Joel watches you wipe more tears away before putting his hand on your knee and squeezing. He doesn't say anything, but the look in his eyes tells you everything.

"I wonder if they would've been friends. Our daughters." He thinks aloud.

"I like to think so."

"Me too," he says. He clears his throat, probably trying to bury any emotions this conversation brought up. "She would've loved you."

"You think?" You ask, and he nods.

"You two would've been thick as thieves. Probably conspire against me or somethin'."

"And that's different from now, how?" He laughs at that, and you smile. You put your hand over his and let your thumb trace the contours of his knuckles. Those bruised, scarred, terrifying mountains that have killed and beaten soften under your touch.

You don't say much else for the rest of the night. You just hold his hand and stay awake to protect the girl not much older than your daughters were. The fear, cautious optimism, and sadness that came along with Ellie, that you thought you were alone in feeling doesn't feel as heavy anymore. The black hole Jane left will never be filled, and you will miss her for the rest of your life, but Joel opening up and showing you his similar wound makes you feel less alone.

It makes you wonder if your girls are together somewhere far from all the pain and bloodshed. You wonder if they've secretly conspired to make you two find each other. You wonder what they would think of each other, of the people their parents turned into, of Ellie. It's nice to think they're together, playing silly games while waiting for you.

Not yet, sweet Jane, you think as you look at the stars, and maybe it's a mind trick or exhaustion, but you swear a star winks back at you. Not yet, Mommy, she seems to agree.

💫

#joel and ellie #the last of us #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #the last of us x reader #ellie williams #joel miller the last of us #joel miller angst #sarah miller #tlou angst #i wrote this for me but you can read it too i guess #look for the light

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bittersweet-nothingss · 10 months

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Made this in like 5 minutes cuz I loveee seeing this trend on tiktok and immediately thought of my babiess 🥹

It’s clear that Liam was Theo’s light throughout the season from the moment he freed Theo from hell however in these scenes to me, it feels as though Liam was the one who was lost in the darkness especially in the Zoo scene, where he got triggered and angry and Theo was there to help him and calm him down, literally proved that Theo was his anchor 😭❤️

The second being the elevator scene where Theo literally saved Liam’s life once again and helped him fight the hunters and the iconic “im not dying for you” scene 🫶🏼🫶🏼 to me it felt as though Liam finally saw Theo for who he was after changing and trying to be better and just being Liam’s savior hence the light :)

#theo x liam #theo raeken #theo raeken x liam dunbar #thiam #thiam is endgame #liam dunbar #thiam angst #thiam headcanon #theo and liam #look for the light #lost in the dark #anchors

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mermaidgirl30 · 4 months

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✨Masterlist✨ A03

Hi! I’m Jamie and welcome to my blog! If you’d like updates for my work, my updates page is @mermaidgirl30-updates. I mostly write about Pedro Pascal characters. Always looking to converse about music, writing, video games, Pedro Pascal, really just anything ☺️ I am always open for requests and asks and will do my best to answer them 🩵 Dividers and Masterlist main pic by @saradika-graphics

~I DO NOT CONSENT TO ANYBODY USING MY STORIES OR REPOSTING THEM IN ANY AI OR WEBSITE!~

✨One Shots/Drabbles✨

Comfort in His Arms: A little Drabble about enjoying the sunrise while you’re being comforted and held by Joel. Soft, gentle, warm. He’s your forever.

Dominate Me: dom! reader x sub! Joel. You dominate Joel in the bedroom, and he takes every demand you give him.

Happy One Year, Baby: You forget your one year anniversary with Joel and don’t remember until you see a dozen roses with a love note left on your doorstep. Since he’s away on a work trip, you decide to get all dolled up to give him a little show over FaceTime

Haunt Me: Joel isn’t all that he seems. He might be dead, might be a ghost, might somehow just be trapped in a curse, but you find him. You always find him.

I’ve Got You, Baby Girl: After suffering all day alone with cramps, Joel comes home from work to take care of you and gives you exactly what you need.

Jealousy, Jealousy: After having a bad breakup with Joel Miller, you decide you need a night to relax at the bar and find someone new. Little do you know, Joel is there and he’s not alone. Will you let your jealousy get the best of you or will you get revenge with another man at the bar?

Just Breathe: You find yourself in the middle of a sticky situation in the pouring rain, not to mention a large T-Rex stalks the area you’re in. Joel steps in and saves the day, and he’s the best at calming you down.

Love and Coffee in the Mornings: This one's just a short fluffy/smutty one shot that's filled with morning love between Joel and reader.

My Heart I Surrender: Feelings and words never come easy to Joel, but they come out slowly and surely for you. So much angst coming off the pages on this story, and it's all in Joel's POV.

My Paper Heart Will Fold: Joel fights himself over his feelings for you, not wanting to admit they’re there. He finally comes to blatant terms that he can’t lose you. He can’t ever lose you. Not ever.

My, My, Such a Sweet Surprise: When you stumble upon a cute little property with a farmer’s market, you get more than you bargain for when you meet the man with honeysuckle eyes and a thick Southern drawl that makes you weak in the knees.

Run Rabbit: At the beginning of every month, you meet Joel to play a little game of hide and seek at the abandoned mansion near Jackson. It’s not just any game of hide and seek though. It’s dark and it’s twisted. If he catches you, he gets to do whatever he wants with you.

Soft: Just a little Drabble about Joel being in love. So very soft.

Stay in the Light: Joel gets injured after a raider attack, and he’s wishing he could’ve told you all the feelings he held back from you for so long

Take Me to Wonderland: You find yourself in Wonderland, but you think you’ve been here before. And the handsome stranger, Joel Miller, is someone that definitely seems familiar.

Welcome to the Moulin Rouge: Welcome to the Moulin Rouge where touches and gazing eyes turn to feelings and longing that overpower all senses. That’s where Joel meets you, the girl of all his desires. The girl that starts a fire inside him that he can’t control. But he’s not the only one after her. No. And he’ll have to share even though it destroys him.

✨Series✨

Can You Please Be Mine?: (Ongoing multiple part series)

No Outbreak!Joel x fem! reader

It’s a hot summer’s day in Austin, and you’re cooling off by having a cold ice cream cone while riding the carousel at the fair. You see a handsome, older man that you think is just the hottest man you’ve ever seen, and you just wonder what it’d be like if he took you home with him.

Captured in the Woods:

(Ongoing multiple part series)

Joel Miller x fem! reader

Joel books a nice secluded Airbnb cabin out in the middle of Southwest Texas to get a little alone time with you for a weekend. Little do you know, you’re not alone. You’re being stalked by a deranged family, and you’re going to have to fight your way to make it out alive.

Crimson Tango: A Dance of Diamonds and Revenge: (Ongoing multiple part series)

Moulin Rouge Joel x fem! reader

Joel Miller doesn’t know what awaits him as he takes on a maintenance job at the Moulin Rouge. He doesn’t know he’ll meet the absolute love of his life, the Sparkling Diamond, as his world comes crashing down around him fast. Will he be able to stay away when he’s warned not to touch the dancers? Will he listen or will he challenge that pull that draws him to the one thing that sets his soul on fire?

Daddy’s Best Friend, Mr. Miller: (Ongoing multiple part series)

dbf! Joel x fem! reader

After going out with your classmate from graduate school, Mr. Miller doesn’t take so kindly to your date when he sees you out and about with the college jock. Will the older, attractive man you’ve been pining after for years finally give you what you’ve been wanting for so long? The only problem is that he’s your dad’s best friend.

Dancing With Fire: (Ongoing multiple part series)

maintenance Joel! x ballet dancer fem! reader

You’re starring in the ballet Swan Lake, taking on the lead role in New York at a huge theater. You practice day and night and are always staying after hours. One day you notice the hot maintenance worker, Joel, and you can’t seem to keep your eyes off him. Lucky for you, he can’t keep his eyes off you either.

Dark Shades of Innocence Lost: (Ongoing multiple part series)

pleasure dom! Joel x fem/sub! reader

After your friends drag you out to Club Inferno on a Friday night, you meet an unexpected man with dark brown eyes. That man is Joel Miller, who turns out to be the owner of the club. The menace that will turn your life upside down. After not dating for a couple of years, Joel finds out and strikes up a proposition for you. Keep coming back and he’ll make sure you experience pleasure like you’ve never felt before.

Enchant Me: (Ongoing multiple part series)

soft! Joel x witchy garden fem! reader

Joel delivers a custom built table to a little house out in the middle of the woods, but he doesn’t realize he’s going to fall for the girl behind the doors of that small purple house. He falls head over heels for her special herbal tea, tarot card readings, and talks of nature and plants as he keeps going back to see her.

Just Breathe: The Dinosaur Diaries: (Ongoing multiple part series)

paleontologist! Joel x fem researcher! reader

After going under the wings of doctor Miller, the hottest paleontologist you’ve ever seen, he takes you on a little adventure as his research assistant. You’ll get more than just knowledge and dinosaurs, you’ll also end up getting the sweet scientist who can’t seem to keep his hands off you.

Look for the Light: (Completed)

outbreak! Joel x fem! reader

Aly finds herself trying to escape the Boston QZ. What Aly doesn’t know is Tess is pairing her up with Joel to go on a dangerous mission to find Tommy. Will Aly survive the brooding, moody Joel or will she find herself falling hard for him?

Love Amidst the Blue: (Ongoing multiple part series)

sailor! Joel x mermaid fem! reader

Joel sets out on the Tyrrhenian Sea with his crew in search for hidden treasure. What he doesn’t know is that he’ll meet a beautiful mermaid that will turn his world upside down. Will he win her over or will he introduce a long ago foe to the mermaids of the hidden underwater city of Capri?

Royalty Clad in Silver Armor: (Ongoing multiple part series)

knight! Joel x princess fem! reader

You’re the royal princess of Ireland and your parents are hounding you to find a suitable man to marry. Joel gets placed as your protector (knight in shining armor) and swears an oath to put your life before his own. But after meeting him for the first time, you don’t want to leave him alone. In fact, you can’t help but to pine after him, even though he is off limits to you.

Tear You Apart: (Ongoing multiple part series)

dark! Joel x fem! reader

Joel comes for you late at night. He always does. Always stalks, chases, and prowls after you like a starving wolf. And when he catches you, he devours you, feeds on you like the animal he is. Will you run and hide or will you give into the temptation that calls you into the forest?

✨One Shots✨

Javi’s Playground: Javi decides to blow off some steam at the strip club, but he doesn’t intend to attempt to take one of the dancers home with him.

✨Moodboards✨

Colors 💜

Infra-Red ❤️

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thetipsybison · 5 months

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Would Joel legally adopt ellie if there were like official documentation and stuff in the tlou universe? He would right?

#the last of us part 1 #the last of us #ellie williams #joel miller #ellie tlou #tlou2 #tlou #ellie the last of us #joel and ellie #the last of us part 1 remastered #the last of us part 1 remake #tlou1 #look for the light

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mandoalorian · 1 year

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Look For The Light

Prologue: Part II

[read prologue part I here]

Summary: You are a hardened survivor trying to navigate your way in a post-apocolyptic world when you bump into an old friend who goes by the name of Joel Miller.

Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH(s). All TLOU relevant warnings such as gore, violence, guns, drugs, and cursing. dickhead boyfriend gets his karma<3

Author’s Note: This chapter was such a challenge to write! I'm not used to writing action sequences, or horror for that matter. Now that the prologue is over, I'm excited to officially explore the post-apocalyptic universe and write battle-hardened Joel. The best is yet to come! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Word count: 5,000 words.

Masterlist | Want to support me? | Listen to ‘Look For The Light’ on Spotify

----

You didn’t speak to Michael for the rest of the evening. Battling with your own concerns and your feelings towards Joel, you told yourself you were just worried about Tommy. That was enough to justify your heart-wrenching fear of regret. You liked Joel, you always had, and you didn’t want to leave it too long to tell him. So, you decided that tomorrow, during movie night, you’d pull him to one side and tell him the truth. If he rejected you, then so be it. You’d be hurt for sure, but what kind of life would you live if you weren’t honest with yourself?

At around 7 p.m., you started to get hungry and contemplated ordering a pizza. You dragged your feet out of bed and padded into the living room to check in with Michael, who was just sitting on the edge of the sofa, playing on the PlayStation 2. You flinched at the blasts of gunfire that emerged from the television set as Michael’s character shot down what looked like monsters made out of pixels.

“What are you playing?” you asked your boyfriend, trying to push to have a conversation with him. Truthfully, you just wanted Michael to apologise to you. You deserved that much, and if you could swindle an ‘I’m sorry’ out of him by taking interest in his dumb video game, then you’d be more than satisfied. You felt shameful, having to jump through hoops in a pitiful attempt to get him to say sorry to you.

Michael grumbled something incoherent and then violently threw the controller at the TV. You jumped, your lips parting in shock at his sudden outburst. His character had died. On instinct, you bounced back, not liking this angry side of him. Sure, Michael could be a jerk sometimes… or, all of the time, but the violence he was displaying ever since coming home today was unusual, to say the very least. He was normally more than comfortable making snide comments about your appearance or backhanded misogynistic jokes, but today he was yelling, breaking what little furniture you had, and he had even kicked one of the chairs over, cracking the leg.

“If there were ever a zombie apocalypse, I know damn well I’d survive,” Michael smirked. He seemed to have calmed down pretty quickly, picking the video game controller off the floor and starting the game back up. “But you…” your boyfriend looked at you up and down. “Well, at least you’d lose a little weight.”

There was the Michael you had come to know. You narrowed your eyes in his direction. No pizza then.

You felt so fed up, and you contemplated just calling Joel. Did you really have to wait til tomorrow evening to see him again? You’d do anything to leave this life behind and go back to the neighbourhood you were brought up in; back to your family and your easy old babysitting job. You didn’t care for your new job at the office, and you didn’t care for your faulty apartment and shitty boyfriend either. You missed your friends back home and you missed your old life. If you just had one chance to go back and change everything, you would do it in a heartbeat.

If only you didn’t feel so trapped. If there was a chance to leave this life behind, you sure as hell would take it. No matter the consequences.

“I’m going to bed,” you announced flatly, anticipating that Michael would spend the entirety of the night playing his video game anyway. You figured that you weren’t going to force an apology out of him, especially if he wasn't prepared to give one. As you used to tell Sarah, ‘if men wanted to, they would.’

“Could you pass me the rest of the cookies?” Michael asked, not even tearing his eyes from the screen. His tone was crass.

Without another word, you tossed him the plate of cookies, dropped it by his side and marched into your bedroom. You felt tears burn your eyes and you were furious that you had obliged with his request. You were a people-pleaser through and through, and no matter how much Michael irked you, you hated to be on his wrong side. The only thing stopping you from breaking down and crying was that you got to see Joel again tomorrow, and Sarah, of course. It may have still only been earlier, but the quicker you managed to get to sleep, the quicker tomorrow would come.

Only between the sirens outside and Michael’s yelling from the other room, you found it hard to settle down. You glanced at your bedside table and looked over at your phone. You could just call Joel, find a good excuse to talk to him… ask him about Tommy. You decided against it though, believing that Joel certainly would have had better things to do than spend his Friday night on the phone with you.

However, while you were tucked up in bed trying to sleep, Joel was in Arlington County Jail with the full intention of busting his younger brother, Tommy, out of his cell. Fully aware of the chaos outside, Joel knew that he didn’t have long and that he had to get home to Sarah.

When Joel arrived at Arlington County Jail, Tommy appeared distressed, his black curly hair out of place and beads of sweat lacing his hairline. Joel found him alone, pacing back and forth with his arms crossed against his chest. There was no security, no cops. It was unusual for the jail to be this isolated, especially down in the cells.

“Where’s the sheriff?” Joel asked, busting through the door.

“Gone home,” Tommy said quickly. “Left me here to rot. Everyone is gone. They all left me here. And—and there’s something going on out there—I don’t know what but I can hear the screams and—”

Tommy’s heart pounded against his chest as he gazed through the small grid-locked window at the top of his cell. There was no way he could see out of the window, which made it all the more terrifying. He couldn’t put context to the sounds he heard.

“I know Tommy, I know,” Joel replied, equally as stressed and confused as his brother. Joel didn’t know much, but he knew more than Tommy at this point. He’d heard things about the Cordyceps. Things he couldn’t believe were true… but right now he had no choice but to not question them. He could only think about his daughter. “We have to get back to Sarah. Where’d the sheriff keep the damn key for your cell?”

The older brother scurried around, checking all the pots and trinkets on the sheriff’s desk and even on the hangers behind the door, making a mess of the ornaments and décor in the meantime. A loud scream from outside the jail made Joel freeze in his footsteps, his entire body tensing up as a person’s painful cries echoed throughout the station.

Snapping Joel out of his thoughts, Tommy clapped his hands together. “Top drawer to the left of his desk,” Tommy pointed. “Hurry up Joel.”

Joel opened the drawer and located the small silver key, twisting it into the cell door and unlocking it. The cell door swung open and Tommy immediately dived out of the hole and jogged around the sheriff's desk, opening the much longer bottom drawer and bringing out a rifle. Tommy had seen the sheriff leave it in there before he left the station an hour ago. Like second nature, he slid the weapon over his shoulder and grabbed the sheriff’s pistol from the desk. He offered it to his brother, but Joel merely shook his head.

“Jesus Christ Tommy, really, a gun?” Joel asked, bringing his hand to his face.

“We don’t know what’s going on out there, but with all this gunfire and sirens and screams—well shit Joel, I guess you ain’t gonna be the one shooting anyway,” Tommy said as coherently as he could, but the words ended up jumbled in the panic he was currently facing. He slid the pistol into the back of his jeans and kept his hand armed on the rifle. Tommy was a US veteran; he’d fought in wars… he was a survivor, but if there was one thing he hated, it was not knowing what was going on. It was being without a plan.

Tommy’s gaze located the fire alarm which was guarded by a glass frame. Next to it, was an axe on the wall. Tommy grabbed the axe and handed it over to Joel, his eyes wide and pleading as he issued Joel a compromise. Joel hesitated for a moment, looking at the axe, but his thoughts were quickly interrupted by a large explosion that erupted outside, making both of the brothers crouch down and cover themselves on impulse. Joel took the axe from Tommy and adjusted his grip around the wooden handle.

“We have to go, now,” Tommy announced, and Joel swallowed. He could barely get his words out as worry filled the pit of his stomach. He said a silent prayer, hoping that Sarah was safe and had locked all the doors. She was a smart girl, Joel told himself. She wouldn’t do anything rash that would put herself in danger.

Joel nodded in agreement when he’d registered Tommy’s needing words. Finding his feet, Joel stood up and followed Tommy outside of the station and to the truck. Hundreds if not thousands of people fled the streets, running away from something that had yet to reveal itself. Bodies massed the ground, some injured and some dead, and the smell of smoke filled the air.

Joel slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. He skipped through the radio channels, hoping to hear a broadcast that would give him some information as to what exactly is going on. But all that could be heard was loud, crackling static.

“Call Sarah,” Joel requested Tommy as he pulled out of the driveway.

After multiple attempts of calling his niece, Tommy shook his head in defeat.

“She’s not answering?” Joel quizzed hurriedly, slamming his hand on the steering wheel as he continued to navigate the streets. His palms were clammy and his heart slammed against his chest.

“It’s not that,” Tommy huffed. “I can’t get through. The line must be down, no service…”

“Fuck.” Joel hissed through his teeth, now speeding down the highway, doing his damn best to avoid the traffic and cars that were offside the road.

When Joel and Tommy pulled into the driveway, Sarah was already standing outside, waiting for them. Her brown eyes were wide, her mouth was agape and tears stained her cheeks. Behind her, Mrs Adler made rapid movements, crawling across the porch and eventually standing up.

Joel and Tommy sprung out of the car and Tommy raised his rifle, getting a clear shot on Mrs Adler as she approached the family at a rapid speed.

“Sarah get in the truck!” Joel cried, and the young girl quickly obliged.

“Joel! What are we doing?” Tommy quizzed frantically, his index finger hovering over the trigger of his rifle as Mrs Adler’s body twitched and quivered. The infected old lady growled in pain as Joel took his axe and with all of his pent-up brute force, hammered it into Mrs Adler’s skull.

Sparing not even a second, when Mrs Adler dropped to the ground, Joel and Tommy clambered back into the front seats of the truck. Tommy this time took the driver's seat so Joel could give directions, but also comfort his daughter who was silently sobbing in the back.

“You—you killed her.” Sarah whimpered, her fingernails digging into the palms of her hand as she looked at her father in horror.

“I’m sorry baby girl,” Joel whispered, leaning back and outstretching his arm. He took Sarah’s hand and with his thumb, began to rub comforting circles into her skin. “I’m so sorry.”

It was late when you woke up; two maybe three in the morning. Michael’s side of the bed was still empty, and as you sat upright and rubbed your eyes, you doubted that he was still playing his game. It had been hours. The sky was painted a velvet blue-black and in the far distance, you could still hear sirens, albeit it was now a lot quieter.

You contemplated for a moment, wondering whether you should go back to sleep or check in on your boyfriend who had been acting out of the ordinary all evening. After a few moments, you breathed out an audible sigh and determined that you should probably check in on him. He had work first thing in the morning and should’ve been asleep long ago. You slipped out of your bed and throw over your robe, sliding your feet into your favourite fuzzy slippers and opened your bedroom door.

The first thing you noticed was the crackling sound of static on the television, almost as if the power had cut out. Your gaze followed a pile of crumbs on the floor which traced back to a crumbled-up cookie and a smashed china plate that you had previously presented them on. You adjusted your vision, your tired eyes still getting used to the bright light of your living area, and noticed Michael who was standing tall and upright, staring out of the kitchen window.

“Michael?” you asked, slowly walking up to him. “Have you seen the time? You need to go to bed.”

Michael didn’t respond, other than a small twitch of his fingers at the sound of his own name. As you closed in on him, you noticed his breathing was very heavy and he moved very little.

“You ignoring me now?” you whined. “Look, you’ve been nothing but a dick to me ever since we moved in together, but if I’m willing to move past your attitude, and the fact you broke a chair and smashed one of my china plates, then you should really—” the second you placed your hand on Michael’s shoulder, he let out a high pitched shriek and darted around 90 degrees so he was facing you.

It all happened so fast. His skin was pale white and his pupils appeared dilated. Not only that, but the white of his eyes was bloodshot red and you noticed the veins in his temples pulsating. Michael looked at you and for just a moment, his expression appeared soft and regretful, but then, within a mere second, his movements became quick and animalistic. Michael dived on top of you, letting a growl escape his lips as he pushed you down onto the hardwood floor beneath you. You yelped as your body came crashing to the ground. Michael was stronger than ever and it took all your might to escape his grip. You felt his muscles spasming and his body twitching as he eagerly tried to pin you to the ground, but as he struggled, you managed to shuffle your body backwards in the direction the TV set and closer to your bedroom.

You couldn’t draw your eyes away from your boyfriend, despite feeling the pure terror rage within you. Your back hit the bedroom door and you cursed yourself for closing it behind you. Dead end.

Michael came closer and closer, and in an effort to evade him, you stumbled to your feet. And squeezed behind the television. It was a cube-shaped 28 inch Sony TV box, typical of 2003, with rounded corners and a mighty weight to it. He grappled to get to you and you noted just how determined he was. He kept growling, his mouth watering as he punched his fists into the television and scream with rage. He seemed unfazed that his hands were now bleeding, and that the glass had smashed into smithereens around his feet on the floor.

“Michael,” you sobbed quietly, helpless warm tears rolling down your cheeks. “Michael, you’re scaring me.”

Michael snarled and shrieked in response, and his bleeding hand found your face, grabbing onto it in an attempt to get closer to you. You screamed into the palm of his hand as his fingernails dragged across your skin, scratching down your cheek and neck. You knew if you stayed here, Michael was going to hurt, maybe even kill you. Something had happened to him, and you were in danger, that much was clear. But there was nowhere to run. Nowhere to go. The TV set was the only thing blocking Michael from you, and if you were to slip out now, his fast and primal instincts would have no qualms with attacking you again.

And then, an instinct which was driven by nothing short of raw, unfeigned fear – you knew what you had to do.

With all the power and energy that you could muster, you shifted your entire body weight and applied pressure to the TV. Slowly but surely, your force began to move the TV away from the entertainment centre and closer to Michael. You let out a scream as your muscles tensed and your arms began to hurt. One more big push and the TV would fall atop of Michael.

You blinked away the tears that filled your glossy eyes and whispered. “Michael, I am so sorry.”

And with one final push, the weighty TV box crashed on top of Michael, pushing him to the ground. Michael’s shrieks were no more and his body lay there, a pool of blood emerging from his lifeless frame.

You heaved and cried and screamed as you slid out from the entertainment centre and looked at Michael’s corpse. You’d killed him. You had killed your boyfriend.

You were a murderer.

Pacing around in circles you wondered what to do – whom to call. So you took out your phone and dialled the one person you could trust the most. Joel.

When Joel woke up, he was on the ground. As were Tommy and Sarah. Flames engulfed their surroundings and the truck had been turned over on its side as a result of a plane crashing into them. Joel wasn’t sure how long he’d been knocked out for, but it surely couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. It was the ringing of his cell phone that had awoken him. Joel didn’t move until the ringing stopped, his phone was too far to reach anyway, and then he tried to gather himself.

“Daddy?” Sarah croaked. “Daddy? Wake up.”

“I’m here baby girl,” Joel assured quietly, reaching his hand out and interlocking his fingers with his daughter’s. Sarah breathed an air of relief as she felt her father’s hand on hers. For the first time all night, she felt safe. Joel gave Sarah’s hand a reassuring squeeze and then reluctantly drew it away, placing both of his palms flat against the roof of the car. Sarah felt her heart deflate. “Watch out.” He warned, before shifting position and pushing his foot into the main window of the car, overhead the bonnet.

He kicked open the car window and crawled out from the remains.

The second Joel found his feet, an infected man grabbed onto him, and Joel wrestled for freedom. Within seconds though, Tommy appeared, smashing a brick into the man’s face causing him to lose consciousness and fall to the ground.

“Dad?” Sarah called again, alerting Joel.

Joel knelt down and Tommy covered him as he helped his struggling daughter out of the car. She whimpered in pain as she found her balance, with the help of her father who wrapped an arm around her shoulder to prop her up. But Sarah was struggling to stand.

“What is it?” Joel questioned with concern.

“I think it’s my leg,” Sarah replied and Joel noted her injured calf, blood seeping through the material of her pants.

“How bad does it hurt?” Joel asked, bringing his hand down to the wound.

“Pretty bad.” With hesitation, Joel knelt down and tried to take a closer look. It seemed as though some part of the car had impaled his daughter and she was bleeding out pretty badly. Joel noted just how strong she was. He was so proud of her.

“Okay—we need to go, now,” Tommy warned quickly, interrupting Joel’s sentimental thoughts and picking off the infected with his pistol as he covered his brother and niece.

“Can you run?” Joel asked Sarah hurriedly.

Sarah didn’t reply. The girl winced with pain as Joel’s hand moved over her leg and she shook her head ‘no’.

“Come on Joel.” Tommy urged, firing another shot.

Joel muttered a curse under his breath and swept Sarah off her feet, cradling the little girl in his arms. “Cover us.” He told Tommy, before following his younger brother down the infected-ridden main street. It was hard to tell who was ‘normal’ and who wasn’t as shrieks and screams and cries filled the atmosphere. Everyone’s movements seemed panicked and erratic and as Tommy continued to shoot down oncoming enemies, Joel noted his daughter tensing up in his arms.

“Don’t look at them sweetheart, keep your eyes on me,” Joel said softly. Sarah’s big brown eyes gazed up at her father but when she noticed the hoards of infected chasing the family from behind, terror filled her gut once more.

“Quick!” Tommy shouted, pointing his finger at an abandoned diner up ahead. Speeding up, the brothers raced to get into the diner. They ran as fast as their legs could carry them. Tommy removed a wooden beam which was barricading the door, and opened it, inviting Joel to slide inside, still holding onto Sarah. As Tommy tried to shut the back door of the diner, three infected people jammed their way into the opening, growling and clawing at Tommy. Tommy scuffled to fight them off, but at least he was winning against them.

“Uncle Tommy?” Sarah cried with hysteria as she saw her beloved uncle struggling against the mania.

“Get to the highway!” Tommy instructed as he held back the infected.

“I ain’t leaving you!” Joel cried out in response, his eyes darting around the diner to look for something he could use to help Tommy fend off the infected.

“Go! You got Sarah!” Tommy reminded his brother. He was right. Sarah was Joel’s number one priority, and Joel just couldn’t play hero right now.

As Joel turned his back on his brother, Sarah cried out for her uncle once more, tears streaming down her cheeks as her father ran out of the front door of the diner.

“Daddy no! We can’t leave him!” Sarah sobbed as Joel closed the front door to the diner.

“He’s going to be fine,” Joel promised his daughter. Breathless, he jogged down the muddy embankment that led onto the highway. At least now he could see the bridge. That was his way out of here. “Come on honey, we’re almost there.”

As Joel ran up the road leading to the bridge, two infected chased after him. Joel could taste blood in his mouth and he wasn’t sure he was going to make it until he saw a bright, blinding white light ahead.

Pointing an assault rifle at Joel was a man, a soldier perhaps, dressed in an armoured black uniform. He was wearing a gas mask and had grenades strapped to his chest. Joel had never seen anything like it before. Not even in movies. The soldier fired his gun and picked off the infected that were behind Joel and Sarah, before slowly approaching the pair, not lowering his gun once.

Sarah was shivering in Joel’s arms, her eyes wide as she watched the man direct the barrel of his assault rifle into her father’s face.

Joel held Sarah’s hand in the hope it would help ease her anxiety. “It’s okay now. We’re okay. We’re safe.”

Joel swallowed and turned to face the soldier.

“Help us,” he begged. “Please. It’s my daughter. Her leg is injured.”

Joel took a few steps closer but stopped abruptly when warned by the soldier.

“Stop right there.” The faceless soldier said, his index finger hovering over the trigger of the gun.

Joel hesitated, his lips parting in shock and confusion. “We—we’re not like them. We’re not sick,”

The soldier clicked on his radio. “Got two civilians in the outer perimeter. Please advise.”

“Daddy? What about Uncle Tommy?” Sarah whispered as the soldier spoke over the radio. Joel drew his eyes away from the man and looked at his daughter.

“He’s gonna be all right, don’t you worry about him. We just need to get your leg better right now.”

“But—there’s a little girl,” The soldier’s comment alerted both Joel and Sarah and they looked over at the man again. “But—” the soldier’s protests were weak and eventually he settled on a simple. “Okay.”

The radio became silent and the soldier let out a huff of air before pointing his rifle back at Joel and Sarah.

“Listen, we’ve just been through hell, okay? We just need—” Joel noticed the shift in energy and the way the flashlight on the gun focused on him. He was going to shoot. “—Shit.”

Multiple shots. In an attempt to take the blast and cover his daughter, Joel turned his back on the oncoming fire. He threw himself and Sarah down to the ground and rolled down the hill as the soldier continued to spray shots. The soldier jogged onto Joel and aimed his gun at Joel’s head. Joel raised both of his hands in a surrendering motion.

“Please—don’t—” Joel whispered under his breaths.

BANG. Another shot. The soldier fell to the ground. Joel jumped and sat upright, looking up at his younger brother who had just killed the soldier. Joel let out a groan of pain as he peeled back the hem of his navy blue t-shirt and examined the wound on his stomach. The grazing off his bullet. The pain was so immense, he didn’t even hear the whimpers and cries of his daughter who was only a few metres away.

“Joel…” Tommy interrupted his brother’s thoughts and nodded towards Sarah, his eyes wet and horrified. Joel’s entire body jolted upright when he overheard Sarah’s pained cries, and he crawled over to his daughter who was laying on the ground in a pool of her own blood. Her t-shirt was soaked red.

Joel picked up his daughter and held her in her arms. Her breathing became short, loud gasps for air and when Joel found the main source of the bleeding in her abdomen, he pressed his two hands on the wound. It needed pressure. Sarah’s entire body jolted and she screamed as blinding hot pain ran through her body.

“It’s okay baby, it’s okay baby,” Joel tried reassuring Sarah but he appeared even more panicked than before. When he saw the tears fall freely from the corner of Sarah’s eyes, he couldn’t help but hold back his own. He didn’t know what to do. Sarah’s gasps became quicker and more panicky and she couldn’t get her words out. She couldn’t tell her father how much she loved him, or how grateful she was for the short years that she spent with him. Sarah’s grip around Joel’s neck tightened as she felt herself becoming increasingly lightheaded, and she let out another cry with pain.

Joel leaned into Sarah, rocking back and forth. “I know, I know baby, I know it hurts. You’re going to be okay,” all he could do right now was reassure his daughter. He didn’t know if it would be ‘okay’, but it had to be, right? It had to be. “Baby, baby, listen to me. C’mon, I’ve got to get you up. Come on baby—” Joel stopped and looked over at his brother.

Tommy was just standing there, his gun lowered and his entire body weak with shock.

“Tommy help me!” Joel cried out with anguish as he tucked Sarah into his chest, holding onto her limp frame with the utmost desperation.

Tommy swallowed and lets his own tears spill from his eyes. “Joel.” He said weakly, nodding his head towards his niece.

Joel turned back to Sarah, who wasn’t moving anymore. She wasn’t making a sound. Her eyes closed, Joel clutched onto her and gave her held her tighter than ever before, crying out her name.

“Sarah?” Joel’s voice was quiet as he looked down at the fragile girl. “Baby? Don’t do this to me, baby. Come on. Come on, baby. No. Oh no. Please don’t do this to me. No… no…”

And at that moment, time stopped for Joel. Sarah was gone.

-----

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#Pedro pascal #Joel miller #Pedro pascal x reader #Pedro pascal x you #Joel miller x reader #Joel miller x you #look for the light #tlou #the last of us

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