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#look the idea that those two were NEVER made to fall in love. that heaven and hell and god itself didnt plan for them to fall
kazutora-kurokawa · 25 days
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Masturfesting w/ Mikey
♡ NSFW, fem reader, masturbation + manifesting, delusion, established friendship, panty stealing, perv!Mikey, college au ♡
note: my beautiful moot @i-literally-cant-with-this gave me this little idea 🩷 I started at 2am and finished around 3, its 6:30 right now so yeah lol I need some rest
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You and Mikey had always been close growing up, and that didn't change one bit when you two got to college. Of course he was still out partying and fighting with his friends, those things, along with your presence, were the only things he kept consistent. But a lot of things changed, he started becoming more aware of himself, of his feelings towards you, and of his place in your life. He knew he wanted a relationship with you, but wasn't sure how to approach you. So he did what he thought was best and started doing some research.
He discovered a lot of romance coaches, wikiHow articles and unhelpful stuff like that, but then he struck what he thought was a gold mine. He discovered the spiritual side of love, specifically types of love potions and spells. He was never one to believe in magic but it couldn't hurt to try. The one that caught his eye? Masturfesting. It was so disgustingly delusional, it just had to work. And so, he started a routine. Everytime he was hard, he'd go on your social media pages, scroll through, and find a picture he could get off to. He'd start off slow, savoring the moment and imagining your pretty hands wrapped around his dick. He'd finish pretty quickly, staining his phone and the picture of you on the screen with gooey strings of cum.
This became a daily occurrence for him, but as of late he felt like it wasn't working. He needed to go further, to do something more…risky. So he walked to your dorm after class, under the false pretenses of having a study session. You two were in your room laying on a pile of pillows on the floor, flipping through textbooks, when suddenly you had to use the bathroom. You left the room, giving Mikey the chance to take his masturfesting to the next level. He rooted around in your dirty laundry, stealing a pair of your panties and pocketing them for himself. You came out of the bathroom and were none the wiser.
After the study session was over he went back to his dorm, rushing to the bathroom to make use of your panties. The soft material felt like heaven wrapped around him, and he couldn't help but imagine thrusting into your pretty pussy instead of his hand. The way they felt, the way they looked, the way they smelled, everything turned him on and made him even more determined to have you for himself. He fully believed that his disgusting actions would result in you unknowingly falling head over heels for him, and maybe it would…or maybe he's just delusional as all hell. Either way he's not gonna stop, not anytime soon, not until he's sure you'll want him as much as he wants you.
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@arlerts-angel @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katkusuo @happy-trenchcoated-impala @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies
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fawnpires · 1 year
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SEEKING HEAVEN. — SIMON "GHOST" RILEY.
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꒰ ୨୧ ꒱ synopsis: with two kids and a drained father's responsibility, he wasn't completely certain on the idea of becoming a father again; until you brought it up.
꒰ ୨୧ ꒱ contents: single dad!ghost, afab reader (afab anatomy, femme petnames), daddy kink, dirty talk, spit kink, creampie, age difference, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, possessive!ghost, rough sex, multiple orgasms, belly bulge, neck biting & kissing, overstimulation.
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Ghost wasn't the one to be a father, a parental figure to any child at that. He thought of himself as too brutal — too much violence and the blood of men tainting his hands to take on a role of a more softer, paternal nature. Although, once in a relationship with you, he had already had two girls of his own and all of those second-thoughts were pushed into a consideration that he thought would've never crossed his own perspective.
The thought of giving you a family, which had been brought up by yourself a couple times on occasion, was a constant thought in his head; even if he wasn't fit for it. He loved it — the concept of bending you over any kind of surface or even up against the wall to breed you, your cunt so full and stuffed around his big cock that was enough to put you under a trance of euphoria. How your moans and noises of pleasure would be so soft and beautiful to his ears, a symphony of angelic sounds that spill without shame. On his end, instead grunts would fall from his lips and twist with your own noises like a distorted harmony.
He didn't care if he didn't want it — to be a father again, to have a few more children. He would be on his best behavior to teach himself on how to put himself in that right position, mastering it overtime just to have that abstraction of a perfect, little family with his most beloved girl.
The clustered up thoughts made him act like a teenage boy again. His throat dried, drool pooling inside his mouth, eyes blankly boring into the nearest wall to project these thoughts into a mindful image.
"Simon?" your voice speaks like an echo, like an out-of-bound tune while your arm grasps and shakes his forearm a little as you settle on his lap, "Did you hear me?"
He would surge from the state of distraction, blinking slowly at the aimed wall before he rests his sights on you. His hand rests at the lower section of your back, the lids of his eyes half-lidded with a touch of his darkened pupils behind them. You slope your head to the right of your shoulder, the skin around your eyes creasing with the small grin perched on your lips. A faint laugh hushes at the back of your throat as the hand at his forearm loosens up, fingers brushing at his tattooed flesh.
"I'm sorry, angel, what were you saying?"
"I want a baby, Simon." you near-whisper, "Your baby."
Through that mask, concealed and veiled, you knew and it was clearly obvious; the way the fading black pigment alluded to pale skin complimented his dim eyes with an assumed hidden grin. The hand at your lower back starts in circles, gentle and careful.
"You really want that, lovie?" he asked, the globes of his eyes examining over you. For a while, you're too lost in him to answer — putting thought into the reply. He's patient and only handles you like porcelain on his firm lap, cradling at your body with a single arm at your back.
You close the last gap of space between you and him. "I really do," you said with a tone of half-desperation, "I really want this."
In hesitation, he clenches his jaw and bites the skin of his inner-cheek. As much as he was lacking the confidence to step into the role as a father yet again despite being low of the built-up responsibility, that doe look in your eyes was hard to deny or even ignore past right in front of him. Abandoning his life of barbarity and military could be easing, he thought, something to distract him. Easily, he gives in with a heavy huff under his breath and pulls you right against him.
"If that's what you want, doll..." he said, "Then be it. I'd do anything to make my sweet girl happy."
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With the open expanse of where you two previously resided, it was just no good for the privacy of trying for a baby, so it brought you comfort that Ghost practically manhandled you from his lap and into his arms to the bedroom. He didn't waste time anytime throughout this; hence your clothes practically being ripped off of your laid posture at the center of the mattress. The next couple of hours are immersed in a room clouding in the atmosphere of sex; sweat, that fulfilled symphony of pretty moans and grunts, and the intoxicated high of lost-counted orgasms.
Your legs have gone sore and completely influenced with a numbness from being mantled on his shoulders for some leverage. His bruising fingers needled into your sides each time he pumped his cock up into your sensitive, soaked cunt along with a low grunt.
"You still doing okay, love?" he grunts while eyeing your bare figure through his half-lids. One of his hands move up to your lifted leg and strokes the skin gently, his head slanting forwards, the fingers from his other hand coming to lift the bottom of his mask to the tip of his nose before resting back at your side. An amount of spit dribbles from his puckered lips and right at your already-drenched, puffy lips. You whimper at the sensation, your noises ultimately evolving into a whine while he pulls out and uses the head of his cock to smear the spit that rests at your cunt.
After a few moments of smearing and whimpering, he finally plunges himself back into the warmth of your walls yet again. You're tight again, squeezing around him and savoring each vein and pulse when he's inside. His head slightly rests at your leg, gathering the chance to leave a trail of kisses at the sweat-sheen skin.
"Always so welcoming for me, so tight and ready for me to fill this sweet pussy up. Is that all you want, yeah? For me to stuff this pussy and give you my babies? You want me to stuff this cunt all full of me, doll?" he questions with a heavy accent, almost taunting. "Tell me, use your big words, honey."
"Yes! Daddy... please, want your baby so bad." you drag out your words with a followed whine. "...wanna be your girl forever."
His slower, subtle thrusts advance into more aggressive and ones full of brutality at your pleads. Your fingers grip at the crumpled sheets below while pushing your head back up into the cotton of the pillows. He hunches over you and blankets your entire structure, his lips meeting yours into a sloppy and vile manner.
"Yeah, angel?" You wanna be my girl forever?" he asks and you nod fervently with a hum, "That's right, I know you do. Going to be such a good mommy, so pretty all round for me."
He straightens himself back up and adjusts your legs that hold up at his shoulders. Heaven was the perfect word to describe the ongoing situation at your thighs; his moans right to your ears, the scent of his cigarette smoke and cologne all around, and the absolute condition of ecstasy he has you sent into for this time. A cuss is heard under his muffled breaths when his cock is felt and inched deeper into you, prodding at your cervix and suffocating in the comfort of your walls.
Through the aligning tears and blurred vision, you manage to glance down your body and make out the bulge that swells with each of his hostile thrusts. Shakily, you extend out a hand and press against the center of your stomach where that bulge is most visible. He pushes your hand away and does all the work for you — both pressing on the outline of his cock at your stomach and pounding right into your sensitive cunt. Your arms go limp to your sides, nails etching into your palms.
“You look so pretty like this,” he breathes, “All for me. Just for me.”
A whine comes into response, since it was all that you could give — that, or it was a moan or a whimper. Your insides feel raw, battered with each harsh pump of his cock up into you. There’s an ache but soon subsides with the rest of the euphoric waves that you fuel on. Your hands find purchase around his torso, practically forcing him to hunch back down over you while you dragged your nails down the naked skin of his scarred back. Marks that almost gleam of blood adorn him. In return, he tilts his head to your neck and kisses the skin before baring his teeth into the skin and gently lapping over the marks with the muscle of his tongue.
“You wanna come for me, sweetheart?” he said, eyes to yours while his palms were flat at each side of your head, “I know you can, I’ll fill you up and you’ll carry my most perfect babies. The perfect mother to my kids already, our kids.”
Your cunt squeezes around him like support, lines of moans falling from your tongue. His muscles are tensed, hips smacking against yours in an aggressive manner which happens to stimulate your clit all at the same time.
You breathe. “Simon, daddy… fuck,” you quiver, “Please fill me up, want that so bad. Fuck me full of your babies, please…”
“Is that it, angel? You want this?”
“Please!”
His hands move to grope at your breasts, then moving up to your face where he caresses the skin lovingly. A chorus of skin-on-skin, his entire upper-half bowed over you, your face tucked into the crook of his shoulder as the fabric of his balaclava rubbed into the side of your face while his exposed mouth kissed at your neck. Every short of a thrust into your cunt only caused your fingers at his back to tear into the muscles of his back.
"Keep your eyes on me, sweetie." He hoists himself back up to give a better perspective of you underneath, your legs frail on his shoulders while your head blurs of bliss and a faint dizziness, persistent gasps streaming from your mouth. Your body stutters every so often with his own. "Just like that, want you to look at me when I fill this pretty pussy all up, put a baby in you-"
Your stomach spasms at his praise, his words of promise. There's a sensation of fragility at your cunt once your orgasm is brought down upon your body, only managing a mere noise that is ripped from your throat — something between a loud gasp and a whine. Your cunt compresses around his rapid, pulsating cock as your legs seem to go stiff. A burst of liquid is aimed, flooding your walls and extends to an area much deeper, his load is thick and gives warmth to the inside of your cunt. It feels at your womb, that scorching and sticky caressing every crevice.
His leftover breaths stroke at your ears. Ghost gives you a few more rams into you, the combination of your arousal and his load leaking at your inner sides. He soon pulls out and sits back on his heels, allowing your legs to collapse from the cliffs of his shoulders and rest at each sides of his hips. For a second, he examines over you with an admiration; you were truly an angel to him, holy and glowing with the remnants of your orgasm still intact. With your eyes in half-lids and mouth agape accompanying quiet breaths, chest hauling with each of those puffs — he throws his head back and brings in back into position before stretching out a hand to pet at your hair.
You submit into the touch, humming a little while you whimper at the feeling of his load leaking out from your cunt. He eyes this, trailing the hand at your hair down your chest, then your stomach, and between that sensitive area between your thighs. His fingers toy with the fluids and run them at your puffy lips, pushing the two digits into your cunt that had been stretched by a few after his cock had pounded into you for a long duration of time.
"Mmph," you hum, "Too sensitive, daddy... can't do more." Your weak hand drags down to your thighs, where his hand and two fingers were stimulating your cunt, wrapping trembling fingers around his wrist in an attempt of a puny clutch.
He chuckles, deep and rough from his chest. "I know it hurts, honey, but you can do it." Ghost uses his free hand and rubs circles into your hip. "You're my big girl, you can handle it."
Before you can give response, he shuts you up with his thumb pressed to your swollen clit. You arch your back off the mattress a little and whine into the air, eyes nearly rolling back into the region of your skull. He watches over you, then fixes back to your cunt where he pumps the residues of his heavy load back into the interior of your cunt. His fingers are no comparison to his cock — pulsing, enhanced of veins which pump into your tight walls — but it gives you the right amount of pleasure that both stings and forces you back into a euphoric state. (No wonder he already had two children of his own with this authority to bring so much pleasure down onto someone.)
The pace of his pumping fingers speed up and another is added in addition. Through all this time, his eyes linger on you and fixate permanently on your whole being. With your bare anatomy laid out in front of him like this; he had no doubts on you being the mother of his children, certain that you were going to bear his children and be that maternal figure. He was obsessed with you — and you were as haunted with his genuine allure.
You gape at the ceiling through a languid-like stare, eyes twitching and your body arching in an impossible curve when he not only uses three of his fingers to restore that feeling of rapture — but the muscle of his tongue lapping at your cunt, swiping at your puffy lips and clit where his thumb presses in circular motions. Once again, your stomach tightens in a knot and your head pulses. His eyes peer at your through the holes of his balaclava and observe with adoration.
"I'm gonna come, Simon, fuck!-" you gasp, thighs squeezing around his head, legs spreading apart and welcoming more of him to please you.
"That's it," he breathes, continuing his overstimulating ministrations, "Come one more time for me, bunny, show me who gave you a baby — who never fails to satisfy you."
On his command, there's a strike of white and a dimmed perspective of the room's ceiling. The knot in your stomach unbinds itself and a rush of fluids gush out between your legs — soaking onto his tongue and working fingers. Your arousal stains the fabric of his mask and the naked section of his mouth, prior to it being pushed back inside of you with his stored load. His tongue laps up a few more times up your lips, withdrawing back from you and putting in some time to catch his breath and build-up some stamina.
You feel bloated. Full and stuffed with all of him, his palm splays out across your stomach sticky of sweat and he moves up your body. He settles at the headboard and you rest your head at his chest where he pets at your hair in soft strokes. The waves of his breathing patterns cause your head to raise up and down, heartbeat smacking through the skin of his torso in vibrations.
With your single index finger, and some following eyes, you trace the outlines of his glistening abs and then dangle down to the tattoos of his left forearm. He presses his lips to your scalp and proceeds with the fondles at your strands of hair. You take the wrist of his hand that was used at your cunt, taking two of his used fingers and tasting the combination of his and your arousal. Ghost grunts a muffled noise at the back of his throat, his stroking hand becoming more firm.
"God, you're a fuckin' minx, you know that, bunny?" he utters, "Such a perfect girl for daddy."
He moves his fingers around your mouth, pressing on your tongue as your hand is tugging at his wrist, muffled moans around his digits. "My pretty girl, soon-to-be-mother of my children."
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harleehazbinfics · 1 month
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Sly
a/n: im brushing up on how to write for lucifer. i missed him 😭
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During the fall of man, there was chaos among the order of the angels. With heaven's very own Lucifer being the catalyst of it all, it had sent all the elders in a frenzy and leading to his eventual fall from grace.
You were but a child when it all happened. They all used his name as a threat, to scare off angels that dare defy the rules. However, you didn't quite understand why he was condemned from heaven for merely dreaming, and why couldn't he be redeemed by asking for forgiveness. Isn't that what your principles were? You confronted your mother about this, but in fear that she would lose you she begged you to stop speaking about the matter.
From then on, you stopped talking about it. Up until a fateful occurrence.
You were rushing your way towards your office, a tall stack of papers in your arms and as you guessed it, rushing when you can't even see in front of you is a really bad idea.
"Oops, I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!" You cried holding the remaining paper in your arms. The person who bumped into you used their magic to lift sheets of paper off the ground and back onto your stack.
"Oh, it's fine. What's the rush?" A familiar voice of a man calls while he was helping you.
"I need to bring this report to the virtues. Hopefully, the meeting hasn't started yet," you explain, "Thank you, Sir Michael! Would you like to walk with.. me.. there..?"
You look up at the male in a daze as you figure out it wasn't Michael at all. Though they look similar and act the same way, it definitely wasn't him. He wore a distinct white top hat with a snake coiled around the base with accents of red, you trailed down to his face seeing his apple cheeks and awkward sharp toothed smile from being mistaken for his brother as he clutched onto his apple cane.
"O-oh! I'm terribly sorry for not noticing, Sir Lucifer!" You apologized, cheeks heating up from embarrassment.
"Oh it's fine. I get that a lot," he chuckles charmingly.
You blush at your mistake and how irrefutably handsome he was. He has a kind smile that seemed to wane ever so often with how downcast his eyebrows fell. It was as if he felt uncomfortable being here.
Your tug your lips into a thin line before cheerfully saying, "Is there anywhere in particular you're going? I'd love to be your escort!"
He seems dumbfounded at how an angel was kind enough to talk to him so candidly. Weren't there tales about his disobedience spread across of heaven? If this matter didn't require his attendance, he would have never come at all. However, seeing your gentle kindness made it seem worth while.
"Oh, couldn't possibly bother you. Aren't you late for a meeting anyway?" he refuses gently, pointing at the papers.
"Oh, it's fine!" you blush, "I'd be honored to spend some time with you!"
He quirks his eyebrow at you with a smug smile, making you splutter at your mistake, "I meant--as your guide! Yes! I don't have those kinds of intentions towards you! I apologize if it seemed that way!"
He gives you an attractive laugh and uses his magic to lift the paper off your hands and levitate beside you. Saving you the trouble of carrying them everywhere. He gestures his hand forward and replies, "Then shall we?"
You beam him a smile and escorted him to his meeting room, while giving him an update on the changes that were made since he's been gone. He looked less tense when you first bumped into each other and even chimed a joke or two in your conversation.
Not before long, you arrived at the door now carrying the paper in your hands. Giving him a big smile while he carefully walks forward to the door.
"It was nice talking to you, Sir Lucifer," you say a blush adorning your cheeks which he found adorable on you.
"I enjoyed our time together, (y/n). Hopefully, we can meet again someday," he replies with a smile of his own.
You gave him one final smile and started to walk down the hallway. But before you could take your 2nd step, he says something that made you blush from your cheeks to your ears and nape.
"By the way, you can just call me Lucifer. I'm divorced," he calls with a flirtatious smirk before entering the room.
His gesture makes you blush from the top of your head to your toes at his comment, calling him sly in your head. You shake your head trying to gain your composure as you trotted to your office. But it doesn't wipe the stupid smile you had on your face.
🔗All OTHER Lucifer Fics Taglist:
@bonnie-02, @marxo5, @whaatttlaufey, @froggybich, @rybunnie, @midorichoco, @bontensbabygirl, @janey, @akiqvq, @wonderlandangelsposts, @spoiled-slutt, @preciousbabypeter, @roboticsuccubus83, @simbalioness, @reachthestars, @atlas-rin, @luc1fersducky, @lovestruck-enby, @azullynxx, @delightedtosee, @s2tng, @cherry-4200, @aria-tempest, @lvstyangel, @0strawberrysorbet0, @corvid007, @kaminarithebest, @selvyyr
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thesturniolos · 2 months
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guilty pleasures pt 3- m.sturniolo x reader
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summary: i don't think you hoes gonna like it! childhood best friends are head over heels in love until a new person comes along.
warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of sex.
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guilty pleasure, but what does that really mean?
for matt, it was the girl he'd called his best friend forever. the girl who had been on his mind every hour of every day from the age of 9.
he'd curse himself for thinking about the way her hips moved and what those lips could possibly do. she belonged in a museum, no girl had ever looked so ethereal to him and it would forever stay that way.
she was whimsical, matt being wrapped around her small pinky finger, twisting him round and round. he was careless, she could have him anywhere, he didn't mind that he was completely and utterly smitten for his childhood best friend.
deep down he had always known that the tiny sweet spot, that was more like a heart shaped crater in his chest, would eventually turn into something more, something that would infect his dreams and his every thought. he would take everything she gave him and never ask for more, as much as he wanted to. if it meant a one-time, heated, oh so heated, moment of weakness was all he'd get and nothing more- he would take it no matter what.
those few moments were everything to him, regardless if it was only a matter of ten blissful minutes.
it wasn't the sex that had made him so enchanted by her unearthly figure, he'd always been aware of the glistening of her skin in the sunlight and the creases in her smile lines that poked at her cheeks when he made a joke.
it was the simplest things that made him fall even the slightest bit harder. however, since that day, the tensions between the two were high, so high that walking past one another without rushing to rip their clothes off one another, was the biggest struggle of the day.
the idea of friends with benefits didn't sit right with matt, friends with benefits felt like a lame excuse, a symbol of pointless sex and the pinnacle of using so called 'friends'.
he didn't just want those desperate, lust-filled instances, he wanted the sweetest parts of relationships. aftercare, shopping trips, baking together and all those picture-perfect, stereotypical couple things.
it wasn't just a small crush to him, it was now a craving. he needed her in more ways than one, in ways he thought she would never understand.
unbeknownst to matt, he was everything and more to her and had been for years. that time at the pool wasn't just the reality of heaven for one of them. it was a memory that they would both cherish.
maybe she did wear that bikini because it was his favourite colour and maybe she did realise how riled up he got when she shook her head free of water and forced her weight onto the sides of the pool. the curves of her body perfectly silhouetted against the cold concrete, a quintessential shadow made.
to her, the shadow was imperfect as she imagined the man's outline mirrored on the floor, caressing the hips of her own one, her hands slipping up to his hair, back to his chest, a fast pace-
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"hey, matt!" she walks in, a smile spreading across her face. she was holding a bag of groceries in one hand and her phone in the other.
you know what, just keep it cool. that's the approach we're taking from now on.
"hey! where you been?" that was normal, not a single voice crack. 1-0 to me.
"just, you know, catching up with some friends and running some errands." she looks down at her phone, swiping a little and then laughing. a rosy pink begins to dust her cheeks as she turns around and walks towards the kitchen.
"what's got you all flustered, hey?"
"uh- nothing. what are you even talking about?" she rolls her eyes but never takes them off her phone. i frown and look away, whatever.
i grab my phone too, as if it would have an answer because for some reason, her not telling me, really affected me.
i hear her rustling through her grocery bag, rummaging for something and then, yet again, another laugh.
what could be so funny that i can't know?
i look over again, she's not even looking at what she's picking out from the bag, she's fucking fixated on that phone. a grin so wide it makes me ache, a perfect smile.
"no, seriously, what is it? i wanna know!" i pester, leaning over the arm of the couch to face her.
her glance finally breaking away from the device and she stares into my eyes, shrugging. "i don't know, its just a funny joke my friend made," she looks down again, " he just uh- texted me it."
oh. a friend. a he friend, specifically.
the problem i have with this situation is that i know that smile, that one i just saw. that's a purposeful smile. a smile to get me provoked, to get me out of my seat, to make me remind her of exactly what we are.
"oh yeah?" i push myself off the couch, my feet slowly dragging my body towards my girl. yeah, she was my girl. well- for now she was.
"yeah, he just sent me it. see?" she flips her phone to show me and my face twists.
"where'd you find this funny man, eh?"
"i met him a couple weeks ago" and didn't tell me.
and all of a sudden, like that, a quick glance of a phone, a twitch of an eyelid, i realised that the smile wasn't fake and there was indeed a funny man behind that phone.
her eyes weren't on me and they weren't on my fading smile, they were fixated on that screen and i think that was the beginning of the end.
tags!: @sturniolosstar @sturnioloshacker @mattsgirlfriendlol @mattsfaked @mattsturnioloslut @mattsturnioloarchive @noellesturniolo @chrattenthusiast @bernardenjoyer @byechristopher @jupitersturniolos @sturniolopepsi @sturniolo-conspiracy @gamermattsgf @whor3ing @estelleswrld @evieolo @recklessmatt @recklesssturniolo @realuvrrr @thematthewlover @therealestrae @urfavstromboli @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @inlovewchris @ihateeveryone357474 @ilovemattsturn @imlidewwallyhittingdagwiddy @lilasturns @lovingmattysposts @lemonadeloverr @oversturn @plasticferal @poopydroopt @strniohoeee @deatthmatch @fruitglazed @flowerxbunnie @hearts4sturniolo @hawaiihasmyheart @heartsforchrisandmatt @hoesformatt @justangelheree @kqyslyho3 @klarasmith @kirby0strombolli @zooweemamas @m4ttslvr @mattsturniolox
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ch4osworld · 2 months
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THE PASSENGER
A Lucifer x fem!reader ff
This is my first time writing a fanfiction, or writing in general plus my native language isn't english so sorry for any mistake! Critiques are welcome as long as they are respectful and reblogs and comments are well liked! I am planning to make this a series so tell me if you like it!
Words:1509
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You were in the garden of Eden, long (h/c) hair flowing behind you. That's when you were created, when you begun living. You were made to be the first wife of the man Adam. You truly loved him, at least you thought you did, you did everything he told you, always being good...then why were you taken and put into heaven?Why did you have to be taken away by your one true love?You stood there, confused, scared even, with only your long hair covering your nudity. That's when you met him, an oh so wonderful and stunning angel, Lucifer was his name. He dressed you, took care of you, cared about you. It didn't take long for you to catch feelings for him. What was a lady supposed to do when some handsome was so caring to you, so touchy even. You still remember the times he took you flying with him, the look of adoration he gave you, it was just you two, flying in the sky peacefully. The comfort he would give you, his touch always lingered on your skin, oh how you wanted him to hold you like that forever.
You stood there, high in heaven, observing Adam, the one that was supposed to be you husband, with another woman. Lilith was her name, how could he do this to you? Did he not love you? No you were sure he did. But if you were so sure then why did tears start falling from your eyes? Why did you start crying like that? You felt horrible. If the man that was supposed to love you for eternity didn't want you, who would have? You hear rustling behind you, and that's when he came: "Y/n? Are you ok?" You didn't respond to him, you didn't have the strength to, you felt so embarassed, you were so vulnerable,what would he think of you now: "Oh sweetheart what happened to you? Who hurt you? Please don't cry I hate seeing you like this. I know that whatever the problem is we can deal with this togheter" and there again, the usual hold he would give you in those moments. He treated you with such a care, you felt bad for him. You used all your strength to mutter some shaky words: "Why is he with another woman, who is she?"  He answered, holding you closer to him: "Dear, is this really the problem that's taunting you every day? Don't be sad, please, trust me he doesn't deserve your love. He doesn't deserve you! You are the most wonderful woman I have ever laid my eyes upon, it's not your fault he doesn't see your beauty. It's not your fault he doesn't love you". You sobbed back: "No, no he does love me. I was made for him he surely dose. He just doesn't understand it yet". He watched you with compassion as he kept comforting you.
Lucifer, or Luci, as you would always call him, always talked to you about all his plans and ideas. You never understood them much, you were too naive, too dumb and stupid to understand, but you would always support him through it no matter what. You always encouraged him to expose his ideas, you were his number 1 supporter. You loved him oh so much, you always did and you always will. Nothing would have prepared you to the day he got casted down from heaven, and with Lilith too. Not only have you lost the one you REALLY loved, he loved someone else too, the same one that stole Adam away from you. Damn Lilith, if only you were as pretty, if only you were so captivating maybe it would have been you who got casted down with him. After that you came back to the life at Eden, becoming Adam's wife again, but you couldn't be happy, not when Lucifer was gone for good, you longed for his grasp once again, and so, you did the unimaginable, you decided to fall down for him. You always liked to explore places, you saw a lot of heaven, it was bound that you eventually found the entrance to hell. You were afraid, but your love for him guided you into the pits of that horrendous place. You did it for him, and him only. you jumped and fell for who knows how long. You landed in a place full of Sakura trees, it was beautiful, absolutely stunning. The petals on the ground where as soft as snow and it was so calm you could easily fall asleep in there. You didn't have the time to savor the space you were in at the time. Too focused on the pain all over your naked body. You couldn't give up yet, you had to find him, you had to find Lucifer. You were trying to move from the ground, to get up peraphs, that's when he found you.
Lucifer was relaxing among the trees when he heard a loud thud. Startled, he went checking what the source of the sound was, and that's when he saw you: "What the- Y/n? Is that really you? Oh god what have you done! Why are you in here? Are you hurt? Here let me help you dear" he got you dressed and picked you up, you could hear the hurt in his voice as he murmured you comforting words and whys: "I am sorry, I didn't know what I was thinking. I missed you Luci, I missed you so much I just wanted to see you again" you cried to him. He replied: "Please don't apologize, there is nothing for you to be sorry about. I am just glad you are with me again, I missed you so much, you know?Don't worry sweetheart, me and my wife will take care of you, we will teach you all about this place. Oh there is so many things I have to tell you! Lilith will be super happy knowing she can finally put a face to the name, she always wanted to know you!"
Right....Lilith
It took you a lot to adjust to the situation, and Lucifer and Lilith being all lovey dovey didn't help you one bit. You were forced to see them togheter, you lived with them after all. It isn't that you had any place to go other then his castle. You enjoyed living in there, and you savored all the alone moments you had with him, but oh it hurt you so much, but if you really loved him, you'd let him go, so you kept staying with them as your heart broke and shatteted more, the longer you were with them. The thing you didn't know though is that you weren't the only one suffering from all of this .
Lucifer's pov
As he brought his friends to his castle, his heart was flooded with a torrent of emotions, absorbing his every being. The flames of love once felt for her burnt with a passion he never felt before in his life, peraphs that flame never extinguished. As y/n lived there, his life had changed in an unimaginable way, as he lived in a never ending desperation. A desperation born from the knowing that his heart belonged eternally to his wife, but every quick glances, every alone time spent with y/n, served as a poignant reminder of his unceasing adoration for you. Yet, in the depths of his agony, he found solace in the the devotion and trust he vowed to always give to his wife, that he would never betray her, not when she lived an oh so happy life with him by his side. There was no other choice, he must let you go.
Y/n's pov
The more you learnt about hell the more you felt confident navigating it's depths of your own. You began forming a sense of identity, you started to know yourself, something you were never permitted to do in Eden, you even dared to cut your beautiful, long hair. You didn't like them, they held too many harrowing memories you needed to let go of. Your free spirit was finally able to show itself, the decisive step happened when you decided to leave his castle for good. The agony you felt seeing them togheter becoming unbearable to you. You ventured into the steppes of hell, explored all you had to see, seeked every secret of it. Your hunting never stopping, as the inferno kept increasing in size. The more it got bigger, the more you wanted more, you soon got hungry for it, and you ate all your discoveries. You didn't have a home, you'd rather sleep and get food from the people of this place, also making the usual visit to Lucifer and Lilith. It didn't take long for the demons to get used to you, you also managed to make a few friends. Only a select few knew your real name, the majority of people simply called you
The Passenger.
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DESIRE
(Adam x Lute x Reader)
After you gave so much love to the first part of the series, I thought I'd post the second this week. A little more fluff this time, but the next part will be very spicy. Have fun with it.
Tags: @mournings-stars
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Synopsis: Y/N just wanted to spend some wholesome time with her lovers but they had other plans.
Part 2 (of 3)
Part 1
Warnings: Language
Y/N straightened her shoulders and opened the bathroom door. "Yes, I'm ready," she said and let her eyes wander over Lute. She was actually wearing the dress she had just bought. It clung perfectly to her curves and Y/N had to avert her eyes. Even if Lute was an angel, she was made for sin. Damn, she was already thinking like Adam. He came up behind Lute and scrutinised Y/N. "Woah damn girls you look really hot" Lute just rolled her eyes and punched Adam lightly in the arm. Y/N also looked at her other lover and couldn't help but grin slightly. "Adam? Is that gel in your hair and you're wearing a jacket?" He just grinned and his nose coloured slightly pink. "So can we then?" Lute asked, a little more annoyed and held out his hand again. Y/N nodded and grabbed her handbag before the three of them left the flat.
Holding Lute's hand felt incredibly good. She looked quite petite, but her grip was firm and firm. Adam walked next to them and talked about a dog he'd seen the other day that had totally dragged its owner through the mud because it had seen another dog. "And then he dragged him all over the park. I really thought the ice cream was going to fall out of my hand I laughed so hard." His two girls just grinned at the story and threw in a few comments here and there. Once Adam started talking, he never stopped. Y/N thinks it's because he was alone for so long after Lilith and Eve left him. You could really feel sorry for him.
When she first met him, she thought he was just a jerk who was self-absorbed and reckless. Just like the high school jocks in the TV series on Earth. But after getting to know him better and seeing behind his façade, she realised that he longed for love and acceptance. Things he would never admit to, of course, but were very obvious when you knew him.
The three of them arrived at the elegant restaurant and quickly took the seats they had ordered. As they were all quite hungry, they immediately began to check out the menu. "Really a fancy place," said Adam and grinned at Lute out of the corner of his eye, "Yeah, you'd never have thought of such an idea, you Dickmaster." He just rolled his eyes and grinned behind the menu. God those two were cute when they weren't out for blood and fighting. Y/N thought about the little surprise she had in her handbag. When would be the best time to give it to them? Before dinner? After? She decided to give them the present while they were waiting for the food.
After a few minutes, a waiter came and took their orders. He also placed a glass of crystal clear fresh water in front of each of them. No matter how many times Y/N saw the food and gifts of heaven, it was still a mystery to her how everything could be so clear and clean. Every colour seemed brighter and more intense. Lute took a sip from her glass and then put it down. "Y/N darling … why are you looking like that? What's bothering you?" "N-Nothing's bothering me I… well" she took a deep breath "It's just that I have something for you both because today is such a special day." None of the three would ever admit to dating in public. What would people think if they knew it was a three-way relationship? Unfortunately, they didn't realise that they were so obvious that everyone already knew. Y/N reached into her handbag and handed her two lovers a small parcel each.
Curious, the two opened it and stared at the contents for a moment. The parcels contained a bracelet for each of them with the initial letters of the three of them. "I made them myself. The band is made of leather and the letters are made of silver." "That's really pretty," said Lute, her eyes taking on a warm glow. She took the bracelet and held it out to Y/N. "Will you make it for me baby?" She nodded and carefully put the bracelet on her. Adam was silent the whole time and just held out his arm. Y/N put the bracelet on him too. She had been wearing her own since she had left. Why didn't Adam say anything? Didn't he like it? Too cheesy? Too feminine? But she didn't dare ask, after all, she had her pride. Luckily, the food arrived and took the decision off her hands.
After the meal, they paid and went back to their flat together. "Kitten" Y/N turned to Adam. "We have a little surprise for you too" She raised an eyebrow curiously and Adam gripped the side of her waist and led her in the direction of the bedroom....
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benkeibear · 9 months
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⋆꙳✧༄ Relationship Headcanons
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❖ Character: Taiju
❖ Reader: female
❖ Summary: Headcanons about what being in a relationship with him is like.
❖ WARNINGS: Mentions of death and violence
❖ A/n: don’t want to miss a post? Sign up for my Taglist in my Navi! | This is very @linpunny coded and based on our littol disc talk 🫶
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ꕤ Taiju needed a while to allow himself to date, to feel like he's ready to allow anyone this close to himself
ꕤ He kept you at distance in the beginning of the relationship as well, unsure why you even wanted him or if dating was a good idea - what if he lost his control and fell back into old habits?
ꕤ He was open and upfront about his past the moment you to became an official thing, not wanting to let you stumble in the dark or risk having you hear it from others
ꕤ It baffled him how accepting you were, letting him know while you don't appreciate his past actions you find it admiring that he worked and still works on himself, kissing each of his knuckles lovingly to show him that he has your trust
ꕤ Guy was so flustered he didn't know what to do but to pull you into a tight hug - so way you're gonna see him blush like a little boy
ꕤ Over time Taiju found that laying on your chest and having your arms wrapped around him feels like heaven, allowing himself to be this vulnerable around you
ꕤ Please let your hands take through his hair, he will purr like a kitten
ꕤ He never really had someone taking care of him since his beloved mother died so having a loving partner that takes care of him is something new and sometimes scary to him
ꕤ It's hard to accept that he's not alone and that you can help him - absolutely hates asking for help and looking weak but when he does you encourage him and tell him that he's not weak and that you love his vulnerability just as much as the strong protector
ꕤ He hates it when anyone touches his hair but loves it when you play with it while you two watch a movie or just lounge around
ꕤ Taiju definitely complains if you give him the tiniest braids but he also won't remove them because you put them there… safe to say he doesn't mind it that much
ꕤ If you fall asleep while watching TV he will hold you close, put a blanket over you and eventually carries you to bed where he holds you close the entire night
ꕤ In those moments he will whisper how much he loves you and you might have pretended to be asleep more than once to hear him be all love sick and sweet
ꕤ The man also LOVES baths with you, having a big bathtub with more than enough space for the both of you, valuing to just have you close, especially if you lay heart to heart and tuck your head away in the crook of his neck
ꕤ Taiju also has a restaurant but he never really learned how to cook which you made fun off just to tease him
ꕤ He eventually had a lot of long nights, claiming it was just very busy but in reality he paid his Chef extra so he stays and teaches him how to cook
ꕤ Weeks later he surprised you with a home cooked dinner of 4 courses and it all looked and tasted so good you almost couldn't believe that he actually made it
ꕤ Until you took a look into the battlefield otherwise known as kitchen… he promised to take care of the kitchen in the morning but that evening he just wanted to pamper you
ꕤ He also adores how well you get along with his siblings - even Hakkai calls you once a week just to gossip. Yuzuha is pretty much attached to your hip at that point
ꕤ You helped quite a lot in rebuilding their relationship and he will be forever grateful for that… although Yuzuha threatened him that she will do unspeakable things to him if he even thinks about raising his hand in your presence unless it's to protect you
ꕤ little does she know that he's the biggest softie with you, even scared of hugging you too tight. you were never once concerned about him hurting you
ꕤ Taiju also supports you and your friends in everything you guys did, booking tables at restaurants, surprising you and your girls with tickets to the Barbie movie
ꕤ yes he dressed up in pink and drove you there and after to your favorite restaurant and even picked you up at 2am with your drunk friends, bringing a sweater for all of them so no one would be cold on the way back to your place
ꕤ He made sure everyone was comfortable and had snacks prepare for you and your friends before making everyone's bed so you could just fall into it
ꕤ Taiju tries to show you that your friends - no matter their gender are always welcome and respects them so much. It's greatly appreciated by you
ꕤ He plans on marrying you one day because you're just so perfect for him he can't believe how lucky he got or what he did to deserve you
ꕤ Would love to meet your parents / your loved ones and have them approve of your relationship- once they did, he will propose to you
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Networks: @enchantedforest-network @themovingcastlez @planetonet
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storiesiwrite · 4 months
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Home ☾ Lee Seokmin
Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship
Word count: 5026
Summary: In which you’re having one of those days when it’s a struggle to be kind to yourself, and Seokmin makes sure you feel appreciated and loved.
☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎
Seokmin has a gnawing feeling in his gut that tells him you’re not feeling your best today.
It’s evident in the text messages you leave him throughout the day, in your unusual choice of words. Just a small difference, but a difference all the same, and he knows you too well to miss the signs.
Perhaps it also has something to do with your tendency to hide behind a smile even as you’re buried deep in your struggles. You don’t like the idea of people around you noticing. Seokmin would know; as terrible a habit as it is, it’s one that he and you both share.
Suffice it to say, it isn’t long before he begins losing his concentration at work. Completing the simplest of tasks eventually becomes a challenge, but he can hardly expect anything else when you’re constantly on his mind.
The moment his seven-hour shift is over, he wastes no time packing up his things and clocking out of work. The original—and usual—plan has been to head straight home, but those texts of yours made him change his mind. He decides to make a detour instead, making sure to snag a couple of your favorite desserts along the way.
It begins to drizzle shortly afterwards, the skies painted in shades of midnight blue that signal an impending downpour. Not the most ideal situation, but he doesn’t mind the rain beating down on him as he runs down the streets. Doesn’t see the negative because all that matters to him is that he is coming home to you.
Please, he says in a hopeful whisper, please hang on until I get there.
And by the time he reaches the door to your shared apartment, his clothes have been completely soaked through, and he fights to catch his breath. His keys are somewhere in the depths of his sling bag, but retrieving them with both hands occupied would be a hassle, which is why he resorts to pressing the bell with one side of his knuckle. It doesn’t take long before he hears shuffling on the other side and the door cracks open.
The sight that greets him breaks his heart into slivers.
You’re standing there beyond the threshold, your eyes puffy, the dark circles beneath them more pronounced than ever. Faint blotches of red have spread across your cheeks and nose, as if you’ve spent an ample amount of time rubbing them raw. You’re faring worse than he imagined, yet despite everything, you still manage to smile.
Though said smile falls the moment you take in his drenched state.
“Oh, Seok,” you say, concern etched on your features as you quickly pull him inside and shut the door.
He settles down the desserts on the small side table (thank the heavens they were wrapped in plastic, otherwise they would not have survived the terrible weather). Peeling off his wet jacket, he places it atop a drying rack nearby and watches as you dash towards the bathroom with a frown on your face.
“Did you forget to bring an umbrella?” You call out to him, reappearing mere seconds later with a clean towel in one hand. He can’t help but smile at the gesture, so endearing it warms him despite the cold seeping through his skin.
“Well, um, I was in a hurry this morning, and it completely slipped my mind,” he explains as you take his hand, leading him towards the kitchen. When you tell him to sit on one of the shorter stools there, he simply obliges. Standing there in front of him, your face level with his own, you begin drying his face and neck with the towel.
It’s not that he actually needs your help—he can pat himself dry perfectly well—but he accepts it anyway, sees it as an opportunity to truly look at you.
This should feel comforting. This nearness with you, this form of intimacy he would never want to share with anyone else. And in other cases, he’s certain it would. But never in the two years of your relationship has he had this much trouble gazing at you. Especially like this, up close with your bloodshot eyes and swollen cheeks. It hurts him to acknowledge that he wasn’t there for you when you needed him the most.
And still, he doesn’t look away. He knows he has to say something, has to begin the conversation somehow.
“I’m sorry, love,” he tries. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
With a shake your head, you say, “I know, and you don’t need to apologize for that. But please, promise me you’ll remember to take your umbrella with you next time?” You move on to his wet hair, gently dabbing it dry. “I just don’t want you to get sick, is all.”
He gives you a small smile. You’ve always been so caring of others; it’s one of the many things he adores about you. “I will. Promise.”
“Good.” There it is, a small upward tug of your lips. It’s a start.
“I actually swung by the bakery earlier,” he says, nodding to the table near the door where the desserts lie waiting. “Bought some of those glazed donuts you love.”
You follow his gaze. “Did you?”
“Yeah, and I also brought home some boba.”
Your mouth opens slightly in delighted surprise, your eyes crinkling. “You have to stop spoiling me, Seok! I don’t think I can keep up.”
“Not planning on that any time soon. You’re just going to have to put up with it.”
A soft laugh escapes you. “I guess so.” You push the towel aside when you’re done, running your fingers through his unkempt hair in an attempt to tidy it. “There. Better?”
He leans towards you to kiss you on the lips. “Better. Thank you, love.”
“Don’t mention it.” You cup his face in your hands, and he leans against your touch.
He steals yet another brief kiss from you. “You okay? I haven’t asked you how your day was.”
He feels you tense slightly, though your expression remains neutral. “It was good. Spent the whole day at home today, got to relax a lot. You know how much I like staying in.” You chuckle with a strain that hasn’t escaped his notice. “How was yours?”
“Well, work was more hectic than usual, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. I’m just glad to be back home.”
“So am I, Seok. I missed you.”
“I missed you too, love,” he murmurs. I’m with you now, he wants to add. You can talk to me.
But you say nothing, closing your eyes and leaning your forehead against his. Seokmin’s thoughts begin to wander as he weighs his options: should he be straightforward and ask you outright, or should he wait until you’re ready to talk? He imagines the latter would be the better solution, but he knows you well enough to know that you always try to bottle your feelings up.
He recalls the first time you broke down in tears in front of him; it was early on in the relationship, and you were in your fourth semester in university. You’d been given an assignment, one you were struggling to finish under the pressure of its nearing deadline. Naturally, it made you compare yourself to others who you thought were miles ahead of you.
He remembers having a hard time stringing together the words to console you, because seeing you in such pain wounded him in ways he could never describe.
“You can tell me,” he could only manage back then, his arms wrapped around you as if that alone could shield you from all the pain in the world. He’d take it in your stead if he could. “Whatever it is that’s upsetting you, you can tell me. I promise I won’t laugh. I promise I won’t tell anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, that’s not it, not at all,” you’d replied in between sniffles. “It’s just me overthinking again. I know it’s stupid.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t dismiss how you feel.” He kept repeating these words. But it seemed like nothing he was saying truly left its mark on you.
“You-you’ve also had enough on your plate already, and I wouldn’t want to add to that—”
“It doesn’t matter, love. Even if I do have enough on my plate, I still wouldn’t mind. I’d still want you to come to me.”
Your body shook as you tried and failed to contain your sobs. “I’m so, so sorry, Seok, I didn’t mean to cry but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I’m so sorry you have to see me like this. I... I didn’t mean to ruin the night. I didn’t to be an inconvenience to you.”
Oh, he thought, his heart breaking in two. He never even once saw you that way. He never, not even for a split second, thought you were an inconvenience.
He couldn’t understand why you felt guilty for feelings you had no way of controlling. He couldn’t understand why you felt ashamed of being human. He could only hug you tighter, could only watch like a fool as you fell apart in his arms.
And then he felt it, simmering beneath the surface—anger.
Anger at whomever it was that had the gall to make you believe you were ever an inconvenience. Anger at himself for having failed you so terribly. He’s your boyfriend, for god’s sake. You were supposed to be able to trust with him. And clearly he’d done an awful job at making you realize that he doesn’t mind you crying in front of him.
He doesn’t mind sharing the emotional burden you’ve always insisted upon carrying all by yourself. None of it matters to him if it means that you’ll feel less alone.
And this time, he won’t repeat the same mistakes again.
He pulls away to look at you, and your eyes snap open at the movement, your hands dropping away from his face.
“You sure everything’s alright?” He asks you again. “You don’t sound well at all.”
“Mhm. My nose has been stuffy since this afternoon, I think. But it’s nothing I can’t handle, nothing a few cups of tea won’t fix.” You take a few steps back from him, decidedly avoiding his gaze. “Why don’t you go get yourself cleaned up and then we eat?”
The warmth in your tone from earlier has chipped away, replaced by a stiffness he’s grown all too familiar with. The kind that always tinges your voice whenever you’re dodging the truth. The kind that tells him you’re building your walls back up.
Alright, then, he thinks to himself. Waiting it is.
“I’m gonna get a bath running for you, okay?” You say with a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. “Wouldn’t want you to freeze.”
He stands up from the chair so quickly he nearly stumbles. “No, no, that’s alright.” He moves closer to you. “You don’t have to. I’ve got it.”
“No, no. I can do it for you.” You’re still not looking at him in the eye. “You must be tired from all that work.”
His jaw clenches a little. Even as you’re struggling, you try to put everyone else before you. You refuse to let him take care of you.
And finally, after a long silence from his end, he makes himself nod.
“Okay, then. I won’t take long.”
☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎
God, you think to yourself, rubbing your eyes with the heels of your hands. What a long, shitty day it has been.
You never knew staying at home the whole day could leave you so emotionally drained. It began the moment you realized you’d nearly missed an important online meeting because you’d thought it was scheduled for tomorrow. In your rush to get yourself prepared for said meeting, you managed to spill coffee all over your work papers, the smudged ink rendering the words illegible.
After the meeting, it took you seemingly-endless hours trying to salvage whatever remains of these papers. Because these papers are the same ones you’ve spent months carefully drafting, writing, and revising after every feedback from your boss. The same ones you’ve spent countless of sleepless nights poring over to see if there is anything you’ve missed, to make sure all the details are in line with the facts.
And for someone who thrives with the help of daily to-do lists, this whole thing stresses you out. Your schedule for the week is already very packed as it is, and the idea of not doing a few tasks that you really wanted to get done today, all because of this stupid, stupid mistake of yours that you could have easily avoided...
You feel like screaming. And you certainly feel like an idiot. What makes you think you could pull off juggling a university major with part-time work?
By now Seokmin must have already figured things out, despite your earlier efforts to pass it off as nothing more than symptoms of a cold. But there’s no doubt that he knows. He’s too observant to have missed anything.
And the fact that you’ve spent the last thirty minutes or so sequestering yourself in the bathroom isn’t helping your case. Try as you might, you don’t have it in you to face him like this, not when it’s so obvious that you’re frustrated. More frustrated than you probably have the right to feel.
Then there’s a soft knock on the door. It clicks open and Seokmin’s face slides into view. “Hey, love. May I come in?”
You nod, looking at his reflection in the mirror. “Yeah, of course.” You pretend to pat your hands dry. “Is something wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” he says, shutting the door behind him. He moves closer until he stands right behind you, his hands finding your waist, his chin resting on the crook of your neck. “Just that you’re taking so long in here and I’m starting to miss you.”
A laugh weaves its way out of you—the first genuine one of the day. You’re not surprised; if there’s anyone you know who can lift your sunken spirits in a matter of seconds, it has to be him.
“I miss you too, Seok.” You turn around to properly look at him, putting your arms around his body, his warmth enveloping you as he reciprocates the gesture. “You know, I was actually thinking...”
“Yeah?”
“What about a movie after this? I wanna get all cozy with you and watch something while we eat the snacks you bought earlier.”
His smile is soft as he regards you. “Sounds like a plan. Got anything specific in mind?”
“Not really, no. But I think I want something light-hearted. Like a rom-com? Would that be okay with you?”
“I’m okay with anything you want.” He plants a kiss on your cheek. “Just pick a movie, and I’ll get it up and running in no time.”
“Okay.”
As a comfortable sort of silence takes over, you allow yourself to think you got away with it, to hope that Seokmin would sweep it under the rug this time. But then his smile falls, a graver expression now taking its place, and that hope gutters out as easily as an unsteady flame. You stiffen, already knowing where this is going even before he speaks.
“But first, I need you to tell me what’s wrong.”
Of course. You knew he would catch on, but that knowledge doesn’t make this confrontation any easier.
You try to keep your voice from wavering, forcing down the lump on your throat. “What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong.”
“You know perfectly well what I’m talking about.” His fingers brush the darkened skin under your eyes, run down the side of your blotched cheek, as if to say, I can see right through you. The gesture feels so intimate that you have to look away, only to regret it immediately. It gives you away, leaves you with no choice except to start confessing.
“You knew?” The words escape you in an embarrassed whisper. What a stupid question to ask. Of course he knew. He probably found out the moment he stepped into the apartment, the lingering signs of your frustration clear as day.
“Yeah. When you sent me those texts earlier this morning, I knew something was wrong.”
Oh. And here you thought you were being subtle enough.
Seokmin hesitates for a moment, as if sorting out his thoughts. “I was... I was going to wait until you’re ready to talk,” he says by way of explanation, his brow lined with worry. “But I can’t stand not doing anything when you’ve locked yourself in here for the past half hour. I can’t stand the idea of sitting still when you’re just one door away and it’s clear that you’re not alright.”
You squeeze your eyes shut like you’d just seen a sight that stung.
“You can tell me,” he continues. “You don’t have to keep it from me.”
“I know that, Seok. I just...” you trail off, finding that it keeps getting harder and harder to hold back the emotions threatening to drown you. It takes you some time to muster the courage to look him in the eye again. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“It’s a big deal to me if it upsets you like this. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? What is there to even talk about? Nothing really happened; you spent the whole day just contending with that cruel voice in your head that always tells you you’re not enough. That you’ll never be enough, especially because you manage to mess up even the simplest, most trivial of things. Especially because you let said things ruin your whole day.
It’s embarrassing.
At your silence, Seokmin shifts closer to you. “Talk to me, love. I’m here for you. I won’t judge you, I promise.” His voice is so gentle that for a moment, you’re tempted to just give in and tell him everything.
This isn’t about the lack of trust; it has never been, and even Seokmin himself knows that. And neither is this about worrying what his response would be. If there is anything your past experiences with him can tell you, it’s that he deals with your breakdowns in a loving, gentle way. Every single time.
He’s aware of your mind’s tendency to shove one worst-case scenario upon another until you’ve run out of space and energy to think about anything rational. Admittedly, it’s not the healthiest habit, and you’ve been trying to unlearn it, but sometimes there are days when you simply can’t cope and begin to spiral.
Despite everything, Seokmin always understands. You know he would understand now, but it’s precisely the reason why this is the last thing you would want to talk about. He’s the kind of person who feels deeply, who doesn’t need to try too hard to put himself in other people’s shoes. That act of sympathizing can be so draining, and you’re not willing to subject him to that. His work is exhausting as it is without you having to pile your struggles atop of his own.
All you can offer him now is a tight-lipped smile. “I wasn’t lying when I said it’s not a big deal.”
He shakes his head. “It’s clear to me that it is. And even if it’s not, I’ll still want to hear it all the same.”
The small, knowing tug of his lips tells you he can see what’s running through your mind. You find yourself having to bite back a dry laugh. Ridiculous, really, how you bother trying to hide things from him when he knows you as well as the back of his own hand.
“Even if it’s something I’ve told you many, many times before?” You ask, still giving him the option to move past this.
“Even so. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together. We’ll figure it out, the way we always do.”
His kindness leaves a gaping hole in your aching heart. This, you think to yourself, this isn’t something you deserve. You’ve simply been fortunate enough to have crossed paths with him that one fateful night in a certain cafe, that night that changed the trajectory of everything else that came along afterwards.
A tear slips down your cheek. Then another. Disappointed in yourself, you forcefully rub your eyes, only to have him reach out to stop what you’re doing.
He winces a little, as though he were the one on the receiving end of your roughness. “Careful, you’ll hurt yourself like that.” His thumb brushes against your cheek. “Here, let me do it for you.”
And it is at this moment that you finally break, the walls you’ve built to keep your emotions at bay crumbling under his touch as he slowly wipes away your tears. He treats you with the utmost care as you cry on his shoulder, listens to you as you try to recount to him all that has happened today. His attention stays undivided the whole time, even as you stutter or can’t seem to find the words to express how you feel.
“I know it’s the same problem every time,” you sob. You hate the way your voice breaks all over. “I know it may seem like... like I’m not changing at all, but I truly am trying my best, Seok.”
His free hand draws soothing lines down your back. “I know that, love. I have never once doubted you. And I can understand how hard it is to overcome this. But you can. You’ve gotten so much better than you give yourself credit for.”
That reminder that you don’t deserve him flits through your mind yet again, scolding you for not feeling ashamed. But the look on his face shows not even the slightest hint of ridicule or disappointment. Seokmin simply holds you in his arms and whispers in your ear over and over that everything will be alright. You want so badly to believe him.
Sniffing, you pull slightly away to meet his gaze. You don’t care for the redness in your eyes or the tear stains on your cheeks. It’s important that he hears this from you and sees the sincerity behind it. “You’re being so good to me, Seok. Too good to me. You always... you’re always doing so much more than I ever deserve—”
“Don’t say that—”
“And I can only hope that you’re alright with being stuck with me. I know I can be a lot to handle, and I can’t imagine I’m easy to love.”
At that, he stops talking, stares at you as though he has a hard time believing what he’s heard. As though waiting for you to take back your words.
And when you don’t, he asks, his voice low and serious, “Why do you think that way?”
Because you can’t think otherwise. Would he not grow tired of your problems? Would he not grow tired of you? Who wouldn’t when it’s the same shit over and over again?
He takes your silence as a sign to go on. “Do you really think that that’s how I feel about you? That you’re difficult to love because you go through problems sometimes? Because you have feelings like real people do, like I do?”
Pain flashes across his features, along with something else. It takes you a while to recognize it as anger, though you know that anger isn’t directed at you; rather, it’s on your behalf. “I’m so, so sorry that you were made to feel like you have no right to be sad or upset when things are difficult. But I’m here to remind you that whatever it is you feel, it’s valid.”
You say nothing in return, feeling the weight of his words as they sink in.
“I’ve seen the way you treat others,” he continues. “I’ve seen how deeply you appreciate and care for them. You don’t think twice when it comes to helping people, even the ones you barely know. But I’ve never seen even just a shred of that same kindness when it comes to yourself. You constantly beat yourself up for simply being human, and you have no idea how much that breaks my heart.
“And it makes me wish you’d see yourself the way I see you, because maybe then you’d come to learn all the wonderful qualities you have that you always seem to look past.” He lifts your hand to his lips, leaving a trail of kisses along your knuckles. “You’re a student working a part-time job; don’t you realize how impressive that is? Not to mention the fact that you’re getting better and better at not overthinking when it used to be tough for you. All this progress has never escaped my notice or anyone else’s, just your own.”
You’ve calmed down by now, your crying reduced to small sniffles. It’s still hard to keep your eyes open, and it’s even harder to come up with a response. But you’re content with simply hearing what he has to say, and your heart is full of tenderness and warmth. He’s never once failed to make you feel so loved.
“And as for what you said earlier about me being stuck with you”—he pecks your lips softly—“I hope you know that I’m not going anywhere. I’m never going to love you any less because of your struggles.”
His declaration hits a little too close to home, rubbing at a lifelong wound that has yet to heal. After all, the reason why you hadn’t wanted to get into a relationship before Seokmin came into the picture was fear. Fear that once your partner discovers just how ugly and messy things can get for you, how much emotional baggage you carry, they will leave.
A part of you has always known that confiding in Seokmin would make it hurt less. But a greater, selfish part of you is afraid that he’d grow tired of putting up with you and your constant problems. Maybe you’d never dare to admit it out loud, but the truth is that you would rather struggle alone in silence than lose him altogether due to your honesty.
But Seokmin sees through all that. And instead of leaving, he stands by your side and holds your hand through it. He holds your broken pieces as you try to stitch them back together.
And all the things he’s said about you... you know he truly means every one of them. He’s genuine in everything he says and does. But you can’t wrap your head around the idea of someone great like him can see you that way. It’s a surreal thought, one you never dared to entertain before now.
But maybe he’s right. Maybe you’ve been too hard on yourself. You’re certain that if it were anyone else going through the same, exact motions as you are now, you wouldn’t tell them the hurtful things you hurl at yourself at any given chance. And you’ve always known that progress is never linear, and falling down once or even a dozen times doesn’t eliminate all the previous steps you’ve taken. It doesn’t diminish all that you’ve accomplished, all that you’ve done to be better.
Whatever it was that Seokmin saw in you that one night from two years ago, when he asked you to be his, it doesn’t matter. For the millionth time, you’re so glad you took the leap and trusted that he would catch you.
All these new thoughts running through your head, all these feelings of fondness and love for him coursing through you, yet you can only manage to ask him this: “How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Know all the right things to say every time.”
He lets out a small laugh, relieved that you’re no longer as upset as you’ve been before. “Because I’m only saying the truth. Loving you is a commitment, a decision I make every single day. And that decision comes easily, willingly, because you’re so, so easy to love.”
You feel like crying all over again, but for the right reasons this time. God, you really are the luckiest person in the world. “So are you, Seok. I hope you know that, too,” you say as you pull him into a hug.
“Feeling any better?” You may not be able to see him, but you just know that he’s grinning.
“Yeah.” You nestle up against him. You don’t ever want to let go. “Thank you for always hearing me out. For not only accepting me as I am, but also encouraging me to be the best version I can be.”
“I can say the same thing to you, too.” He kisses your brow. “Thank you, love. For all the times you’ve held my hand and kept me grounded and going when it’s so easy to give up. You’ve been there for me in ways I can never explain, and I’m so, so grateful.”
It truly is the least you can do for him. You snuggle your head into his shoulder with a contented sigh. “Thank you for always giving the best hugs.”
He laughs heartily at that. “You can have all the hugs you want, I promise. But I need you to promise me one thing in return. Promise you’ll never hesitate to let me know whenever you’re not feeling okay. I’m here for you, and I don’t want you to go through things alone. I want you to let me take care of you.”
You glance up, your eyes meeting his. “I promise, as long as you do the same and let me take care of you, too.” And when he nods, you add, “I love you.”
He’s beaming so widely that you can’t help but do the same. “I love you, too.”
It’s been true all along: home is not a place but a person, after all.
— ☽ —
author’s note: not so proud of how this fanfic turned out, but i’m still glad i got it done because it truly helped me get through a tough time. i hope that you find comfort reading it as i did writing it. lots of love and take care ♡
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iluvshinytwink · 1 year
Text
Hair Tie - Jude Bellingham
Summary: Jude still keeps your hair tie around his wrist even after you two broke up.
Now Playing . . . Yes To Heaven by Lana Del Rey
A/N: this will be slightly related to "are we still friends", check it out if you'd like :)
Jude will never forget the memories the two of you shared. It would be stored in his mind until he meets his demise. He loved you, every part of you, so why-- why did it end?
Jude finds himself falling into his couch, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. His arm draped over his eyes as his eyes closed.
A few minutes pass and he finds his arm slowly falling, his hand was now covering his eyes. But something was bumping his eyes, something that was on his hand was bothering it. Jude opens his eyes, lifting his hand off his face.
Around his wrist laid two hair ties. His eyes widened and he feels his heart sink. He's done everything he could to get rid of your presence, so he could stop hurting. He's deleted pictures where he was most happy in, with you. He's deleted memories from his phone knowing that those memories would never leave his mind. He's tried so hard to forget about your voice, so he could stop craving for it, but he finds himself replaying your soft voice in his mind. Every physical thing that reminded him of you-- he got rid off, now he was staring at the only physical thing that made him remember you.
"Babe, do you have a hairtie?" you asked your boyfriend, your hair clamped between your hands. "Yeah." Jude said, taking a hair tie from his wrist and placing it on your vacant hand. You looked at it for a second. "Is this mine?" you looked at your boyfriend with a smile. Jude chuckled and nodded. "Stealer." you said, tying your hair.
Jude was now driving you home. The car stopped in front of your house. Jude looked at you, ready for you to open the car door and go back into your house. You began taking off the hairtie he lent you. Jude looked at you silently, thinking: "What are you doing?" You offered the hair tie back to your boyfriend. You smiled. Jude looked down at the hair tie then to you. "So you'll always have a piece of me with you." you said. Jude chuckled, taking the hair tie from your hand and slipping it into his wrist. "You're so cringe." Jude joked. You laughed. "Bye, Jude." you said, opening his car door. "Bye." he whispered.
He felt his eyes sting. He continued staring at the hair tie that wrapped his wrist, almost comfortably. Deep within his mind he knew that he couldn't get rid of you, you were a part of him.
A bitter smile appeared on his face. He blinked, and his tears fell.
He thought that he'd have this urge to get rid of the hairtie, but there wasn't. His heart told his mind to keep it. Because no matter how hard he forgets, he would always have you by his side.
(another fic to join the jude bandwagon in my masterlist !! hope u enjoyed this small amount of angst, this idea literally ran through my mind and i worked on it immediately 💀💀thank u for reading and as always SMASHH THAT LIKE BUTTON AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE BANGERS LIKE THESE !!!)
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yannisrandomstuff · 1 year
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Hey girly ! I was wondering If you could do me a favor and use that awesome skill of yours🫵, and please make me and make yan alt Cesar and Gabriel with Angel s/o who is incredibly oblivious. You don’t have to do this , you can add anything that makes you comfortable. Please take care of yourself and have a nice day or night.
-🫵👰‍♀️🎚️
Yandere Alternate Gabriel with An Angel s/o
I didn't include Alt Cesar since I don't write for him. Once again this blog is for Gabriel
Tw: possessiveness, control , toxic love, Alt Gabe being a jerk
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It all started when you are created by God, you are one of the most divine being that he created. An Angel with 4 pairs of wings that shine under the moon. An angel with pure innocence, gentle and beauty.
Eventually you started to learn more about the God's creations, then you met him.
He is beautiful, he has 6 wings that the sunlight shine so bright. You learned that his name is Lucifer, the Morningstar.
In his eyes you are beautiful. He felt warm when he's with you, hearts beating faster whenever he's around with you but he keeps calm.
You are the most beautiful being after himself he ever saw.
Everytime that the two of you were together, you always seem to look at him with those mesmerizing eyes. Whenever you praised him with compliments instead of just saying thank you like he would do to any ordinary angels he returns the compliments to you with a heart warming smile.
And that moment he promised to himself. He will raised above God's power and have a throne for himself to rule the world, he also had an idea that he wanted you to be his Significant Other
Unfortunately his plans failed. And he thrown in the depths of the earth many angels saw his fall like lighting and he was never to be seen again. Or so they thought.
One day you were preparing the instruments for the choir for the angels to use when they sing. You can't help but remember Lucifer. He is one of the Singing Angels, it felt really different now that he was gone.
You bump into the Messenger of God Gabriel he asked you if you were alright, you assured him that you are fine. The two of you chat a bit he tells you some of his missions and jobs . The two of you are having a great time chatting it made you happy knowing that the angels did not hate you for your friends rebellion against God.
At that moment you felt something strange something not right at all you figure it out immediately Gabriel's Voice is much lower than usual you just brushed it off.
Strange things been happening lately, angels that you were close with have gone missing, you feel like you were being watched all the time. And your things have been disappearing. Gabriel seem to be much more clingy to you
Everynight you have a dream about someone telling you that he will comeback for you
And later on, Someone Overthrew God out of his position.
Every now and then you will always wake up with bite marks everywhere, mostly around your neck and inner thighs. Some of them have blood stains in them.
And also a bit wet down there.
Another familiar scent will always be in your body
After Gabriel successfully destroyed heaven, you and the other angels manage to survive including the other archangels. You weren't sure if Gabriel The Archangel have survived. (He didn't he's trapped lolol) you haven't seen him in centuries. And now you have been caught by him
he will lock you up in a fancy bird cage 5 times your size but and will always visit you
That bird cage is like a mini room, it had a bed, and furnitures and things that you love doing (like painting, creating songs, writing poems, and other angelic stuff)
This yandere will always in control, always controlling your every moves
He gets upset whenever you disobey him.
But he always make it up to you whenever he hurt you
He tends to be extra sweet and clingy around you when you obey him
He gets so happy when you talk to him and eat the food he makes for you.
He hopes that one day you will submit to him
He visualizes a family with you
And everyday will be the same
So you can't really survive this because he loved you so much that you cannot escape
Bro I'm back
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 9 months
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HELLO!!! i have a request for a platonic Crowley and Aziraphale x fem!reader with she/they pronouns 😄 if you know Nimona, then thats what i want the reader to be like. theyre a spunky, immortal, young teenager anarchist who can shapeshift and has unnaturally coloured eyes and hair. one day they find the two (husbands), and kinda just stays, so Crowley and Aziraphale accept their fate!! i dont mind if you decide to include a smudge of angst (or a shit ton whatever you prefer, but im impartial to both, so do with that what you will,) because after the newest season, i cant get enough of it.
many thanks!!
Oh! I haven't seen the movie but I know about Nimona!
......
You met Aziraphale and Crowley in 537 AD, encountering them by pure chance.
At first you intimidate them as a dragon, thinking they were two hapless knights who lost their way back to their kingdom..
Until you saw Crowley's snake eyes, and you realize he's not human at all.
"You there...I like your eyes.....are you another shapeshifter?"
"...um..nope." The demon in black armor looks incredibly confused, especially at this dragon talking to him. "Don't know what gave you that idea.."
"Well technically he is." The white knight adds on, smiling nervously. "You see, my erm..."rival" here is something of a serpent who was sent to-"
"Shut it, Angel. This beast doesn't need our lifestory! Now if you could kindly excuse us, o' great dragon, we have to discuss-"
"Hate to break it to you, but....I'm not actually a dragon."
"Then what are you exactly? You...said something about "shapeshifting" before, didn't you?"
To answer Crowley's question, you transform into a young human clad in knight armor, taking off your helmet to reveal your unnaturally-colored eyes and hair, smiling. "Bingo."
The pair are quite impressed, so they have no reason to hide the fact they were an angel and demon.
You explained how you've had these shapeshifting powers for a long time, being on the run since everyone thinks you're a "cursed child" or some monster that was once banished, wanting nothing more than to drive a sword through your heart.
When it's clear that neither Aziraphale nor Crowley have any intentions of hurting you....that's when you decided to stick with them.
It took them 20 years to realize you never aged, learning you're an immortal being in a teenager's body.
Your powers allow you to keep up with the times, disguising yourself as animals, people...or even angels and demons if your heart so desired.
Sometimes you'll turn into a snake much like Crowley's own snake form (although your scales have the color of your hair, ofc, so you're not 100% identical).
You haven't mastered turning just your head into a snake, however.
In the modern era, you enjoy being a nightingale after learning they were both fond of those birds, often singing in the bookshop out of boredom.
Although Crowley's fully aware you're not a demon, you got a spunky and rebellious personality and love getting up to mischief.
And he 100% encourages this (while poor Aziraphale's practically begging you to stay out of trouble).
But you're definitely on the angel's side anytime he compliments Crowley, who just snarls and denies ever doing something "nice" or "good".
You don't believe he's all that evil for even a moment.
While you're aware that they have to act like they despise each other bc they're on opposite sides...in your eyes, they behave so much like an old married human couple.
Aziraphale emphasizing "our car" when talking about the Bentley made you roll your eyes and joke about when the wedding's gonna start.
When Aziraphale returns to Heaven without Crowley, you realize that maybe your "marriage jokes" went a bit too far...even though neither of them blame you for their falling out.
Still, you feel bad bc you can tell Crowley was genuinely in love with him.
You overheard everything, and after his "no nightingales" remark, you're reluctant to shapeshift into one again out of fear of upsetting him.
Yet he asks you, too, as he couldn't bear the silence in the bookshop anymore...and listening to any of Aziraphale's music records would've been too painful for him.
You obliged, staying perched on his shoulder as he stared out the window for hours...hoping that his angel would come back to him.
You hoped so, too, waiting everyday by his side...until the end of time if you had to.
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blues824 · 1 year
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Adeuce + Ruggie and Jamil being gifted boxes of mixed sweets (cupcakes, cakes, cookies, candies, chocolates, muffins, donuts, etc) ?
Gender-neutral Reader
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Ace Trappola
This man was not expecting to receive anything from you, let alone a bunch of sweets from the Prefect of Ramshackle
He thought you would’ve hated him (a thought that pains him every night because has such a huge crush on you)
So when you hand him a rather large container of cupcakes, cookies, muffins, and tarts (an inside joke between the two of you), his hope in his chance with you is restored.
He feels so spoiled, but he can’t go acting soft in fear of you viewing him as any less of a man
So, in return, he will ask Trey for assistance in making you something in return.
When the Vice Housewarden asked why, Ace started blushing so hard as he told him that you gave him a bunch of sweets and he wanted to repay the favor.
Trey laughed as he promised to keep this a secret from everyone else, and they made you some chocolates and donuts for the first year to give to you as a gift.
When he did give them to you, he was so nervous and his palms were sweaty (knees weak, arms are heavy)
“H-Here, Y/N. I made these for you, with the help of Trey. No, I’m not going soft! Shut up…”
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Deuce Spade
He was very flustered when you handed him a big box filled with tarts, cupcakes, cookies, and chocolates
This man thought that he would be on the very bottom of your list of People I Should Give Sweets To
You know the saying, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”? I feel like that’s him because it reminds him of his mother’s tender heart
He is now a man on a mission. He needed to return the favor somehow, so he goes out to Sam’s shop and browses.
Deuce comes out of the store with a bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear. Unlike Ace, he is fine with people seeing him with those items.
With every step he took towards Ramshackle, the more and more nervous he got. What if you didn’t like him and the gifts were just platonic?
Eventually, he was at the front door and he already rang the doorbell and knocked on the door, meaning there was no turning back.
Every single time this man sees you, he falls in love all over again. When you opened the door, it was no different
“Hey, P-Prefect. I got these for you and I wanted to know if you would possibly be my significant other? Oh, y-you will?” *casually faints*
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Ruggie Bucchi
This hyena was very excited when you gave him a box. He could smell the distinct scent of donuts within the container intermingling with your scent
Honestly, this is probably what Heaven was to Ruggie. His crush remembers his favorite food, and made them for him and him alone.
Those donuts were probably the best he ever had because they were made by you, and that already makes them a top contender
However, as he was finishing up the last one, he started coming up with ideas on how to pay you back for your kindness
Since you made him something sweet, he decided to make you a meal that hailed from his homeland to counteract the sweetness with something savory
For the next 2 hours, he is making a dish he thinks you will like, and he even made it look presentable.
As he made his way to Ramshackle, he was getting a tad nervous. However, if you made him donuts, he knew that it was more than platonic.
You saw him through the window and invited him inside your dorm.
“Hey, Prefect. I know you made me donuts, so I made you a dish that comes from my homeland. It’s my grandmother’s recipe!”
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Jamil Viper
He was blushing when you gave him the box of sweets, mainly because he never guessed you would give him anything since… you know… he overblotted and attacked you.
The Vice Housewarden opened the box to see cookies, miniature cakes, a few handmade candies, chocolates, muffins, and a couple of donuts as well.
This would keep him set for at least a few weeks, if not months. He almost didn’t want to accept this gift, but you insisted upon it
He did feel bad for not having a gift to give you at that moment, so he set about making some curry to hopefully repay you.
Mans spent a long time making sure he got the right seasoning to food ratio and that it tasted perfect. Anything subpar would not suffice.
When he set out towards Ramshackle, his hands were kind of shaking. Why would you ever like him? He was a servant…
Too late now, because he rang the doorbell and was waiting patiently for you to answer the door.
The moment you opened the door, Jamil told himself that it’s now or never.
“Good evening, Y/N. I wanted to thank you for the sweets, and in return I have made you some curry in hopes that you would agree to be my significant other. So, what’s your answer?”
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arteastica · 2 months
Text
Early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (25)
erwin x fem!reader
chapters: (1) | (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8) | (9) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (14) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (19) | (20) | (21) | (22) | (23) | (24) | (26)
summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)
notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?
content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)
wc: 6.6k
Lord Koch started to prove you wrong the moment you walked through the ivy-covered gates of his suburban estate, early-blooming wisterias cascading down the fence and conspiring with the honeysuckles to conceal the impassable iron wall, making it look more like the secret back door to some fairytale garden than the main entrance to a wealthy family’s homestead. You had expected dozens of solicitous footmen, perhaps some even hired for the occasion only, busily striding around the gardens, flocking towards the guests with fizzy drinks on their trays and welcoming smiles on their faces, politely offering to help with their frock coats and dainty parasols. Just as it was expected at any other Sunday gathering in Mitras. Or Saturday, in this case.
Instead, the only ones greeting the guests at their arrival were the imposing cedars flanking the sunlit path that led to the placid, flawlessly circular pond in the middle of the main garden. After that, guests were on their own, left to figure out, or finger guess depending on each individual’s personal approach, which one of the sprawling paths before them could possibly take them to the place where distant violins, faint laughters and the soft clinking of glasses could be heard coming from.
It was clear that whoever got invited to the celebration should’ve been there previously, perhaps numerous times, and therefore, well-acquainted with the Kochs. Acquainted enough to know their way around the property and the complex system of azalea shrubs spreading in all sorts of confusing directions, flowering under the sun as their glossy leaves danced in the wind, something more like a maze than a garden. And you couldn’t help but feel that a map should’ve been provided with the invitation, or at the entrance at the very least, because there was no way a stranger like you could find the courtyard mentioned in the invitation all by themselves. And for a moment, a silly idea crossed your mind, maybe this was some sort of task Lord Koch had designed so the guests could prove themselves worthy of attending his party. It seemed like he wanted only his true friends there on that special day. But luckily for you, your father was there to lead the way.
Amidst the excitement leading up to that special day, you had forgotten about your father, your head completely monopolized by the thought of your first date with the Commander, because… yes, that’s right, in your head, this was about you and him, and not about Lord Koch and his birthday. He already had forty nine of those for heaven’s sake, but this…this was a first for you and the Commander; the charity ball clearly not counting because, one, you hadn’t been together in that sense back then, and two, you had attended as his assistant and not his ‘princess’. So it was no wonder that, between choosing your dress, the right underwear, and daydreaming about dancing head-on-his-chest all afternoon, you had been unable to reach the obvious conclusion that your parents would most likely be attending the reception too. And it was not until you arrived home the previous night, completely unannounced and looking to surprise them, that you ended up surprised instead when your mother excitedly broke out the news during dinner.
And your father was particularly thrilled about finally getting to meet the Commander of the Survey Corps, ‘the man who saved my daughter’s life’ in his own words. He was arguably more thrilled about it than about the apple toddies, and that was a huge claim to make considering how many of those he was known to chug down on a single evening. And you would be lying if you said you weren’t excited yourself, not about the toddies, which by the way you weren’t sure they would be serving when it was barely ten in the morning, but about everything else. Sleep had evaded you for the most part of the previous night, your stomach swarmed with colorful butterflies that resembled the ones now fluttering above the Koch’s blooming azaleas, and your heart gleefully springing inside your chest at the thought of him meeting your parents.
You knew it was not like he would be asking for your hand in marriage right there in the middle of Lord Koch’s courtyard. They would probably shake hands, maybe share a drink or two while your father expressed his gratitude, and then walk separate ways without asking your parents for their blessing. But, it’s just that… you couldn’t help it…it all felt so official all of a sudden.
Yes, admittedly, no one else in this world, besides Hitch, knew about the things the two of you would do behind the closed doors of his office, but…What did he think people would say once they saw you together at the party? This was not work-related, this was not some formal event he was required to attend as the Commander of the Survey Corps. It was just his friend’s birthday lunch, an occasion that didn’t call for the presence of his assistant. And, once your favorite ballad came on and you found yourselves slow dancing under some wisteria pergola, your hand resting in his, and your head, on his shoulder…did he think people would just shrug their shoulders and look the other way thinking ‘yep, that’s his assistant’?
Before asking you to come, had he considered the possibility that once they saw him pull your chair out, helping you in like the gentleman he is, possessive hand resting on the small of your back and your lips smiling lovingly at the gesture…people would undoubtedly start asking questions about the nature of your relationship?
Like you knew your parents were.
You didn’t know what they were thinking, but you knew they were thinking something. Your mother was too well-versed and frighteningly skilled at concealing her thoughts, she was too proficient in the occult arts of vanishing any trace of emotion from her face within seconds, before anybody noticed anything, no matter how shocking or scandalous the news were. However, you saw the look of surprise in her eyes when you told her who you’d be attending the reception with. It was brief and you had almost missed it, but it was there nonetheless. She hadn’t said anything, but there were signs. She hadn’t asked questions, but you knew she wondered. You knew she did, just like many at the party would.
So, all things considered, how could you blame yourself for feeling this was official? How could you get mad at yourself for believing this was some sort of announcement? Yes, subtle and silent, but an announcement regardless. And you were loving every second of it. As evidenced by the beaming smile you wore as you stepped into Lord Koch’s courtyard, the pistachio-colored tulle of your dress joyfully dancing in the balmy spring breeze.
You had chosen open shoulders for the occasion, a symmetrical hemline falling all the way down to your ankles, and dainty flower embroidery to harmoniously blend in with all the pansies and forget-me-nots of the garden. Oh, and no open slits this time because your mother was also coming.
The top was narrow and fitted, gradually widening out from the waist into a relaxed skirt, and you had skipped the puffy petticoat because you didn’t want Lord Koch to think you were trying to steal attention from him.
Your favorite part of the dress was undoubtedly the long puffy sleeves that fell all the way down to your wrists, made of semitransparent tulle and adorned with small, pretty butterflies that perfectly matched the blue ones on the pin your mother had kindly placed on your hair before leaving the house.
Considering the carriage he had driven to the base last winter, you could be forgiven for expecting nothing less than an equally opulent and effusive display of wealth on Lord Koch’s end, and make no mistake, the courtyard of his manor was a display of wealth in every sense of the word, just not the extravagant type. Somehow, it managed to be well-mannered and even unassuming at times.
His house was more like a castle than anything else, yet there was a comforting sincerity in the clear crystal windows and the way they would reflect the gentle morning sun; a graceful spontaneity in the wildflowers and the way they would grow in the most unexpected of places, whether it was a crack on the wall or inside the stone fountain at the entrance of the garden.
The wise willow, towering over the pond at the far end of the meadow, brought effortless elegance into an already gracious scene, and the glasshouse keeping it company looked like the type of place you’d love to spend a whole summer in, with a cold lemonade and a good book in hand, even if you didn’t enjoy reading that much.
It was there in the courtyard where you understood why there was no staff positioned at the estate’s entrance. Turns out they were all here, in the inner garden, one hand tucked behind their back and the other skillfully balancing silver plates, as they gracefully dodged the puffy skirts of the ladies and the walking canes that the gentlemen loved to sway around when gesticulating.
And you had to give it to the waiters, the feat they were pulling was almost acrobatic, considering how packed the garden was. The number of guests before your eyes, throwing their heads back laughing while joyfully toasting to each other’s prosperity, convincingly attested to Lord Koch’s remarkable popularity. He surely had a lot of people he could call friends, and you knew it was going to be pretty challenging to locate the one specific friend you were looking for.
You glanced around on your tiptoes and off into the multitude, but he was nowhere to be seen. It was going to take some time to find him, so you figured you’d better start now. You turned around to let your parents know, only to realize the crowd had swallowed them too. Figuring you’d run into them sooner or later when lunch was served, you took a deep breath and ventured into the sea of people, trying to stay out of the waiters’ way and making it past smiling faces you’d seen at multiple other parties throughout the years, albeit now they looked slightly different, and older, than they did back then.
As you politely nodded back to a friendly-looking lady whose eyes seemed unable to leave your dress, it hit you that you hadn’t mingled like this in a while. After spending what some would call ‘the better years of your life’ in training camp, and right after that, moving to the middle of the forest for the Survey Corps, you hadn’t attended a birthday party in like forever.
Not much had changed though, at least not when it came to the way you felt about events like this one, and certainly not when it came to the way they made you feel. The anxious drumming in your chest was still ever-present, and the uncontrollable need to fiddle with your hair whenever you felt a stranger’s eyes on you was very much still a reflex action. You didn’t know if it was because of the same reasons as you, but you felt like you understood Captain Levi and why he disliked such gatherings. You weren’t close with him at all, but maybe someday you could bond over this and your appreciation for good tea, who knows?
You grabbed a tantalizingly golden tartlet from a nearby waiter as he walked past you. As expected, only the food made these kind of experiences worth it. The food and, in this particular occasion, him, of course.
You nodded in delight as the caramelized pear melted in your mouth, simultaneously satisfying both your sweet tooth and all the butterflies in your stomach in a single bite. Buttery, flaky and unexpectedly rich. Once you moved to the cabin in the woods, you would prepare pear tartlets like this one for him too. The comforting smell of home-baked love escaping through the open kitchen window, riding on the gentle spring breeze as it caressed your cheeks just the way it was right now in the middle of the courtyard garden.
Our little cabin. You smiled, looking around to find the man you dreamed to share it with.
And you saw Leon, standing under the shade of the breezeway not too far from you, back resting against a pillar and a rose-colored liquid in his glass as he conversed with a tall, auburn-haired lady.
You waved at him from afar when his eyes accidentally met yours, and, not wanting to interrupt the conversation, limited your interaction to a smile. However, being the welcoming soul you’d known him to be, he invited you to join him and his companion by mouthing a silent ‘Do you have time?’
As you made your way to him, you exchanged smiles with the lady he was with. She was young, very young, as suggested by her round face and the plump, dewy cheeks that came with it, which you were certain would bounce like jelly under your finger. She appeared to be in her twenties too, although her small, button-like nose and other angelic features made you suspect she was a little younger than you.
Her fitted, velvet dress hugged her body in ways only custom-made dresses could, and the hunter green skirt, flawlessly accentuating the reddish-browns of her hair, reminded you of the winged cloak you would wear every day back at the base. The dark color, as well as the narrow, tight maturity of the dress contrasted the innocence present in her soft features. Features that were just as warm as Leon’s, especially when coupled with the welcoming smile she was gifting you with.
“My lady.” Leon’s soft lips greeted the back of your hand as it was quickly becoming tradition whenever you met. “I fail to identify the nature of the spell you cast on us, and forgive me if talks of witchcraft and sorcery come off as wicked or impudent in any way, but supernatural powers are the only acceptable explanation as to why your beauty seems to intensify with every passing season.”
You were only able to giggle, his convoluted compliment reaching your ears and pleasantly tickling your confidence.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Leon, and you happen to own the kind of eyes that only see the good in everyone and everything. But thank you, I’m flattered.” You admitted as he let go of your hand. “And I believe we agreed to use each other’s given names?”
“He completely refused to use my given name until, I believe… the seventh year into our relationship was it?” The angelic-looking lady turned to Leon, her head adorably tilting to the side in thought, and you couldn’t help but find it satisfying: The way her honey voice was just as melodious as you’d imagined the sounds made by those beautiful lips would be.
“My lady, this is my good friend Angelika.” Leon said, gracefully signaling to his left. “Perhaps you are already acquainted with each other, since you both live in the same ward.”
Angelika. You couldn’t help but smile at the gratifyingly fitting name. The leaf-shaped brooch on her hair looked a lot like a family crest, and the diamonds embedded all around it, as well as the ‘double-u’ engraved in the center, told you that she descended from a noble lineage, as you suspected at least half of the partygoers did. But what really called your attention was the prismatic moonstone decorating her delicate beauty bones, perfectly shaped like a raindrop, and making you wonder if the occult was among her interests.
“Oh please, Leon, the northern ward is just as big as my father’s ego.” She joked, taking your hand into hers, dainty and covered in satin all the way down to her elbows. “Truly a pleasure, my lady.”
“The pleasure is mine, Lady Angelika.” You returned the gorgeous smile she was offering.
Lady Angelika was endearing in a dignified, elegant way; and you couldn’t help but notice that her expressive hazel eyes went well together with the enchanted forest Leon had in his, much like the honey pistachio loaf your mother would bake every year in the fall.
And it was not only their eyes that complemented each other, but the atmosphere surrounding them as well. Much like the sparkling stream running down the meadow behind them, and the horses leisurely grazing along its waters, there was a natural authenticity to them. One you would have undoubtedly remembered had you been around it before, especially considering Lady Angelika’s remarkable grace.
“My lady, you ought to stop looking at me like that or I might start questioning my personal preferences.” She joked, a smile on her lips and your hand still on hers. “And I’m afraid ten in the morning on a Saturday is too early to have that type of conversation.”
“Oh, please forgive me.” You chuckled lightly, letting go of her hand. “I was just wondering if you were aware of the power that moonstone holds.”
She reached for the gemstone hanging around her neck “Oh this? Of course, Leon gave it to me for my sixteenth birthday.” She explained as her fingers caressed it fondly. “He bought it from a witch down south. Apparently she found it right in the center of the footprint left by that gigantic titan who destroyed Wall Maria.” You felt your whole body tensing up at her words. “You know, the first time it appeared. She believes it used this moonstone to make itself invisible, that’s the only logical explanation as to how a creature of such colossal measures managed to appear and disappear into thin air without anyone seeing it coming.”
Your throat felt impossibly tighter all of a sudden, all incoming air failing to reach your lungs. You didn’t necessarily believe moonstones granted anyone the power of invisibility, neither the ability to wander around only in spirit, and you had meant the question as a lighthearted joke, never considering it could backfire, and definitely not expecting Lady Angelika’s answer to make you reminisce about Bertolt’s genuine smile and Reiner’s sweet disposition.
“Are you, perhaps, also interested in gemstones and their magical properties, my lady?” Leon suddenly asked, prompting you to blink away the bittersweet melancholy and the confusion that usually followed any train of thought that led to your ex-classmates.
“I- my father- It’s one of his favorite topics to discuss at the dinner table.” You explained, chuckling nervously in an attempt to compose yourself. “Did you perhaps attend Orvud Academy, Lady Angelika?”
“Oh my, are you a diviner?!” She jumped excitedly. “Yes, I did! Until the eighth grade, before Father decided to move me and my sisters to another institute in Ehrmich.”
“Then maybe we coincided in the corridors a few times.” You suggested, feeling your chest lightening up the farther away you walked from the uncomfortable topics discussed a few sentences ago. “I also went to Orvud.”
“Maybe we did! Oh my, Leon, this world is so small!” She turned to her friend, the delight present in her voice, and the gleeful way in which she started tugging at his hand, made you think of a little kid trying to lead their favorite parent to the candy store. “Although I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t remember me.” She suddenly turned her head towards you. “I looked very different back then. I was so…outlandish.” She concluded, sporting the face of someone who’d just smelled the food that had caused them indigestion.
“Sometimes, in moments of dejection or self-doubt, I find reassurance in knowing that I no longer look, nor act, like I did back in eighth grade.” You said, her smile instantly evolving into a soft, silvery laugh that was as delicate and angelic as you expected hers to be.
“Next time I’m feeling down, I’ll give it a try.” She promised.
“Is there a reason why you changed schools, my lady?” You asked, feeling comfortable enough to let your curiosity wonder and wander.
“Father believed the institutes at Ehrmich taught better chess. I wanted to stay in Orvud because all my friends were there. Not to mention Ehrmich is in the literal opposite side of town, and even to this day, I still grieve the precious minutes that the long ride home took away from my youth.” She complained dramatically. “But I can’t complain. And neither can Leon.” Lady Angelika smiled mischievously at her friend. “That’s where he first laid eyes on me, and also where I became the inspiration for his first book.”
Leon smiled back, and it was the type of smile that told you this was a conversation he already had way too many times, yet somehow, still wasn’t tired of.
“Your beauty is indeed of remarkable proportions, my dearest Angelika.” He said, lightly raising his glass as if making a toast to his friend’s comeliness. “However, as we have discussed several times in the past, the source of inspiration for my first published work, or muse, if the casual scribbling I do from time to time were to be considered a form of art, was the cloudless sky I had the providential fortune to exist under during the summer I spent in Karanes.”
“Leon fell in love with a married woman, and she had the bluest eyes he’d ever seen. Quite scandalous. Isn’t it?”
Lady Angelika’s opportune translation painted a smirk on your face as you raised a probing eyebrow at Leon. And you expected his ears, as well as his cheeks maybe, to turn red the moment his friend’s words reached them, but you should’ve known better than to expect that from someone of such poised, elegant bearing. Instead, he allowed a relaxed, graceful laugh to escape his lips before a reply could.
“She was indeed married, but I didn’t fall in love with her.” He explained calmly, the easiness in his demeanor evidencing that he was already used to be teased by his friend. “Her loving husband and sweetheart of many years stands in this very courtyard as we speak, so I would sincerely appreciate it if we could keep away from distasteful misunderstandings.” He took another sip of his drink as his eyes scanned the room. “Ending the day with a black eye is certainly not one of the goals I set for myself this morning when I sat down with my diary and my favorite breakfast tea.”
“Oh, is she around then?” Lady Angelika asked excitedly, giggles decorating her voice as she tried her best to find an unknown face in the crowd.
“She is not. If you’d studied the poems with the careful perusal they demanded, maybe you’d know that such elusive beauty tends to evade congested occasions like today’s.” He teased, and his friend dramatically placed a hand over her chest in response, pretending to take offense.
“May I ask what the book's title is?” You smiled mischievously, curiosity tickling your mind. “I’ll admit I’m not the avid reader myself, but I’m willing to give poetry my undivided attention if it promises to uncover the mysterious identity of Leon’s first love.”
“Walking artwork. Talking poetry.” He replied, shaking his head in amused disapproval. “That’s the name of the book.” Your eyes widened in realization, suddenly remembering the blue book with faded golden letters that the Commander kept in his office, surely one of his favorite reads, and after today, one you’d definitely be borrowing sometime soon. “And as I said, my lady, she wasn’t a love of mine, but even if she was, I can assure you that by the time serendipitous fate brought our paths together, the title of ‘first’ had already been long claimed.”
Lady Angelika gave Leon a complicit smile that told you she knew exactly who that title belonged to. “Leon’s lust and uncontrollable desire for this married woman really comes to life in vivid colors thanks to all those forbidden words he so artistically painted her with.” She said giggling, looking at Leon as if trying to elicit a reaction from him, but all he had for her was an uninterested eye roll. “I would have given anything, even this very moonstone on my neck, only to see Aunt Freya’s flustered face once she reached chapter nineteen.” And the sultry way in which she sank her teeth on her bottom lip made you desperately want to know what exactly went down in chapter nineteen.
“I would consider it a miracle if Mother ever so much as touches one of my books.” He joked before bringing the glass to his lips, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was using the pink sparkly liquid to hide something that wasn’t as rosy.
“Of course she reads your books!” Lady Angelika exclaimed confidently, and you wondered if she too had noticed the same shift you had. “If I had a son as talented as you, I would never shut up about him.” She said proudly before turning to you. “Father used to get so annoyed at Uncle Hansel because he would never stop talking about Leon’s books whenever they played chess together.” Lady Angelika giggled, her eyes traveling briefly to the sky as if it was there where she kept all her memories. “Father felt that Uncle Hansel would just brag about ‘that gifted little nephew of his’ all evening and never focus on the game, which… even if we were to say that was the case… how come Father never managed to win a single one?” She chuckled before turning to Leon to clarify. “Nothing personal, you know how Father is. But I always understood Uncle Hansel and why he couldn’t stop gushing about his nephew. I was just as captivated by him.” She said fondly, and there was a hint of nostalgia in the sweet smile she was offering her friend. “And his work, of course!” She added rather abruptly.
“You praise me too much, my dearest Angelika. But my writing isn’t the slightest bit as impressive as your abilities in chess are.”
“Nonsense.” She said before turning to you, dismissing the compliment with a flick of her hand, a gesture that told you that her skills were probably every bit as impressive as Leon had implied. “My lady, I know you said reading is not among your interests but, by any chance, do you happen to enjoy ghost stories? In my humble, and probably very biased yet still fairly accurate opinion, there’s nothing like sitting by the fire on a blustery night, Leon’s horror anthology in one hand and something warm in the other, the wind ominously knocking at your window while his writing transports you to macabre dimensions.” She said, shuddering as a result of the goosebumps she had so willfully self-induced.
You chuckled, the lightness in you heart making you realize how rare days like these were. Since you had joined the Training Corps, and especially after becoming a Scout, it was as if the stakes were always high, in everything you did. It felt as if there was no normalcy in your life, or at least not like you once knew it. And, although you wouldn’t trade your life at the base for anything, you couldn’t deny that it was nice to enjoy ordinary moments like this every now and then. “That sounds frightfully enticing indeed, a perfect night made possible only by the comfort of knowing that, in the end, it’s all folktales and fiction.”
“Oh, but they are not fictional.” She was quick to clarify, shaking her hand promptly as if to make you understand how important it was for you to know this before proceeding any further. “Most of Leon’s stories are based off real life experiences, and that makes them all the more exciting! ‘Distant Cries from a Childless Town’ is based on the sinister events of that summer Leon spent traveling around Wall Rose.” She explained enthusiastically. “The second story, which is also my sister’s favorite, is about a priest who kept a human-sized titan locked in his basement. I won’t tell you how it ends, or how the titan got there in the first place, but from the title of the book you can pretty much guess, can’t you? What I will tell you, however, is that you’ll fall for the main character just as everyone does!” She made the face your father always did when daydreaming about your mother’s green tomato pie. “He’s loosely based off one of Leon’s closest friends, a super cute boy from the Trost countryside.” She tugged at Leon’s sleeve as if trying to get him to gush together with her. “His name was Jean. I met him one summer when he came to stay with Leon. Come to think of it, Leon is always friends with the dreamiest, most fascinating people.”
The way her eyes sparkled as she gazed into the sunlit fields, lips curved into a soft smile and fingers absentmindedly playing with the moonstone around her neck, told you that she was probably reminiscing about the happiest summer of her adolescent years. And you couldn’t help but chuckle, wondering if the Jean of Leon’s story was the same one you knew. He was from Trost too and, from your understanding, also childhood friends with Leon. And if it was him, you would have no option but to laugh at how comedic it all was. To think he had a secret admirer in Mitras, and not only that, but the fact that she was a member of the nobility… Heaven forbid he ever found out, because the one you knew, your Jean, his ego definitely did not need another boost.
Although, in all fairness, you kind of understood where Lady Angelika was coming from. Him and Reiner had always been the most popular among the ladies back at Training Camp. In fact, when you first met Jean, you had also thought he was really cool. It was the very first day of ODM practice, and although everyone else was struggling, he seemed to be a natural at it. However, you also remembered how quickly all form of curiosity and wonder had vanished, that same night at dinner to be more specific, when you saw him engage in one of those embarrassing fights him and Eren loved to have.
“He was so well-mannered and smelled so good all the time.” Lady Angelika continued her recollection of the events of that summer, just as your mind started to get flooded by memories of a very different summer, one where Eren and Jean never stopped throwing scrambled eggs and baked tomatoes at each other. “His hair was so soft and he was so manly we both fell in love with him.”
It was so sudden and unexpected, that you couldn’t stop your eyes from opening as wide and as inappropriately as your eyelids allowed them to.
“Leon and I didn’t talk to one another for weeks after that, until we finally waved our little white flags and agreed neither of us would pursue him. After that, we hugged and decided to go for chocolate pastries. We were so silly back then. Do you remember, Leon?”
“I would argue we still are.” He responded amusedly, bringing the glass to his lips and swirling the contents lightly before taking a sip.
Lady Angelika chuckled as she leaned over the handrail, her hair playing with the wind as she gazed at the pasturing horses, and you wondered if the longing smile present on her lips meant that she was still reminiscing about Jean. Leon, on the other hand, was looking at no one and nothing in particular, taking occasional sips from his glass until it was completely empty. And something, probably the wistful smile he was wearing, told you that he we was most likely thinking about those days too.
And about Jean, perhaps.
“I absolutely enjoy horror stories.” You blurted unprovoked after some uncomfortable seconds of silence, fearing it might escalate into something even more awkward. You weren’t sure if Leon was comfortable with you knowing such personal details about him, especially when you were acquainted with Jean yourself. “And I greatly appreciate the personalized recommendation, Lady Angelika. However, I think I’ll start with Walking Artwork and leave the sinister stories for bolder times, you know… for the sake of chronological order. I’m also curious to see how Leon’s writing evolved over the years.”
Leon let his head fall to the side both in suspicion and disbelief, squinting his eyes as if asking you to get it over with.
“And of course, because I’m interested in uncovering the married lady’s mysterious identity as well as what became of her.” You finally confessed, a giggle escaping your lips when you saw him roll his eyes and shake his head in disapproval. You had to admit that there was a very particular type of pleasure to be derived from teasing Leon, and you were beginning to understand why Lady Angelika seemed to enjoy it so much. “The Commander has that book in his personal collection. I might just borrow it on Monday and begin my research as soon as we go back to the office.”
“Even if you succeed in uncovering her identity, little does it matter, my lady; given the fact that my interest in her was purely artistic and never romantic.” He replied, shrugging his shoulders as if he was sorry to disappoint you. “As of what became of her, I’m happy to report that I’m still very much welcomed with warm geniality by both her and her darling daughters whenever I find myself in Karanes.” He signaled with a shake of his glass. “With that said, I’m truly honored and delighted, if I may allow myself such pleasures, to know that someone with Commander Smith’s intellect and literary knowledge found something of value in my dull first work. I have never been able to bring myself to read it again.”
“Huh? You work with Commander Smith?” Lady Angelika asked, the newfound piece of information lighting some sort of spark in her eyes, and you weren’t sure you could call it simple curiosity.
Nodding proudly, you looked around the garden, eyes surveying the room and a comfortable type of excitement bubbling inside you at the thought of finding his blue eyes in the crowd any time now.
“I had the pleasure of starting my rounds conversing with him by the central pavilion. Maybe he’s still there.” Leon looked in the direction of the marble-columned structure, as if trying to find him too. And you caught yourself trying to guess what the nature of their exchange was, something that admittedly troubled you more than a little, given the misunderstanding from a few weeks prior. “He must be looking for you too.”
You turned to Leon and were surprised to discover a smile full of understanding shining your way. And you sincerely hoped the nervous laugh that escaped your lips as a response could act as some sort of distraction so your burning cheeks and tomato ears could go unnoticed.
But you knew that he had been there that night, at the castle, in the dining hall, just a few rooms away from your office and all the wonderful things the Commander had been making you feel on top of his desk. And you also knew that, if he’d happened to hear something then, no amount of damage control you did now would be enough to erase it from his memory.
And like so, before you started acting more like a tomato and less like a person, you decided it was the perfect moment to start exchanging closing nods and parting smiles with Leon and Lady Angelika, which you did before heading in the direction he had pointed you to. Lady Angelika looked like she wanted to say something, and had it been any other moment, you would’ve waited. But, right now, all you wanted was to take your flustered face away and hide it in the Commander’s welcoming chest while you danced to a slow song or two.
“My Lady.” Leon’s sudden call of your name made you turn around abruptly. “Just one more thing.” He said as he approached you, putting some distance between Lady Angelika and him, and lowering his voice as if to ensure nobody else could hear what he was going to say. “I had a conversation with my dear uncle the other day, and I explained to him about the nature of our budding relationship.” He smiled mid-sentence as if to let you know it was okay, and you had to admit that any form of reassurance was very much welcome at the moment, especially when you had no clue where all this was heading. “I was very specific in my request, and by ‘very specific’ I mean I carefully treaded through all the poetical trap my tongue usually falls into, and sincerely asked him to stop hindering the growth of our blossoming friendship with the shadows his well-intended efforts are casting.”
His eyes lingered in the central pavilion’s direction for a while, seemingly taking his time organizing the words inside his head before saying them out loud. “Although very little use it has, I apologize if his remarks resulted in any kind of misunderstanding or inconvenience for you.”
You stared at his apologetic smile in silence, trying to make sense of the words that had just left his mouth. And maybe it was the tinge of remorse in his eyes or the way their attention would shift between you and the central pavilion, but something told you that he probably held the answer to the question you had been trying to get the Commander to respond.
No. Not probably.
He definitely did.
Did Lord Koch talk about you and Leon in a way that made the Commander think you were involved romantically? You didn’t know for sure, yet you knew two other things: One, if he had indeed said something, Leon would absolutely know what it was; and two, he would totally tell you if you asked.
But before you could do so much as open your mouth, Lady Angelika’s melodious voice called his name and he smiled apologetically before turning to her, leaving you there, stranded in the middle of the crowd, with nothing but questions to hold on to.
And you would have remained there for longer, had a flurried waiter not bumped into you, knocking the butterfly pin off your hair and making it bounce on the glossy marble tiles.
You looked down just in time to see it slide under a crystal table, and bent down to reach it, only to find that a gentle hand had gotten there first.
“Thank you, but it’s fine. I got it.” You said as your hand brushed past warm, manly fingers.
“I know you do, but let me.” Replied a rich, velvety voice you had only heard on your happiest moments.
You rose up as fast as your faltering legs allowed, your heartbeat like the frenzied flapping of hummingbird wings, and the reason for that, standing right in front of you, holding the blue butterfly in his welcoming hand, the sun sparkling on the metal pin in the same mesmerizing way it did on the sapphires he had on his face.
-
next chapter
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fellthemarvelous · 4 months
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"I forgive you."
I can't help but wonder...
And I have a lot of feelings around "I forgive you" because, to me, it goes so much deeper than that.
I think we need to go back to the very first scene of season two.
Before the Beginning
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Aziraphale is the first one to reach out. Yes, Crowley called him over for help, but Aziraphale is the one who introduced himself. Crowley wasn't expecting him to stick around for so long. He probably didn't think to introduce himself in return because, as he said in episode 6, angels are like bees (and the universe is huge).
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When Crowley becomes upset at Aziraphale's explanation of people and Earth, Aziraphale is confused because "you can't just ask God this shit, how rude", but you see the look on his face when Crowley asks how much trouble he can get into for asking a few questions.
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It was more than the fact that Aziraphale said something that made Crowley want to question God. He was looking at Crowley. He saw Crowley's wings become darker. It made him anxious, but why?
He was scared of Crowley getting into trouble, but why would he worry about that? What did it mean to him? How would he know? Why would he know? Had Aziraphale already been scolded for being curious?
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And the thing he was scared of came true. Crowley got into trouble and he became one of the fallen.
"Unforgivable. That's what I am." (Unforgettable. That's what you are.)
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As far as I can tell, Aziraphale never even learned Crowley's angel name (unless Crowley was so famous as an angel that he needed no introduction), but their chance meeting still changed the trajectory of both of their existences.
Why did Crowley fall? Why didn't Aziraphale?
It is something that weighs heavily on Aziraphale's mind. The name he goes by on Earth is A.Z. Fell, and the humans refer to him as Mr. Fell. He chose that name for himself.
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He was unable to save Crowley from Hell in Edinburgh and it changed both of them once more. I've already talked about Edinburgh being Aziraphale's Greatest Failure™️ in this post a little bit, which feeds further into the guilt that Aziraphale probably feels when it comes to Crowley's status as a demon.
For 6,000 years, they have had to speak to each other in code.
"Unforgivable. That's what I am." (Unforgettable. That's what you are.)
I think when Aziraphale is saying "I forgive you" he is telling Crowley that it doesn't matter what Crowley does, Aziraphale is going to love him anyway.
Aziraphale can't say "I love you" though because Heaven is always watching. Hell is always watching. Someone is always watching. The last thing Aziraphale wants is for Crowley to suffer more than he already has, and that's where Aziraphale struggles the most.
But I also think that, deep down, Aziraphale is asking Crowley to forgive him. Aziraphale freely forgives because even though he's never fallen himself, he struggles with the guilt of what happened to Crowley. He sees Crowley's fall as unjust.
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He tried to warn angel Crowley against the idea of making any suggestions because he feared what would happen.
He lost Crowley in Edinburgh because they had fallen into a pattern of role reversal and Crowley did a good deed in front of Gabriel's statue, which I've also discussed before.
Aziraphale is saying "I forgive you" the way humans say "I love you", and I think that deep down he wants to hear Crowley say "I forgive you too" because Aziraphale can't forgive himself for the part he believes he played in Crowley's fall.
The Metatron was watching when Aziraphale said "I forgive you". Aziraphale is already in enough trouble, which I have discussed before. Twice we have seen Aziraphale say "I forgive you" to Crowley, and both of those times were after Crowley insulted him.
"How can someone as clever as you be so stupid?" "You idiot, we could have been...us."
"I forgive you" is and always has been "I love you" in coded language because Aziraphale worries nonstop about Crowley getting into trouble with Hell (again). He's telling Crowley that no matter what he does, Aziraphale will always forgive Crowley because he loves Crowley.
But I also think he's looking for forgiveness himself because he internalizes his own failures so much that it's eating him alive. (This is common for people who have suffered religious abuse.)
And this is something I don't know that Crowley understands just yet because neither of them talk about what's really important.
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sweetcarrotsandroses97 · 10 months
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Impact Of The Heart | PJM
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Pairing: non! idol Jimin x Fem! Reader
Summary: You and Jimin had been flatmates for a long time now. Your relationship consisted in soft quarrels and flirty comments, longing gazes and aching hearts. When you leave the flat after an argument, Jimin must find you in time and tell you how he feels before he fears its too late for words to change fate.
Word Count: 3.5k
Warnings: angst, non! idol au, flatmates! au, thoughts of unrequited love, happy ending, reader is described to be shorter than Jimin (he deserves to be tall at least in fiction xD), kissing, mild language (just a couple of words), feelings of fear, anxiety and heartbreak, fluffy ending.
*banner made by me :D
A/N Hello everyone! I've been working on this for a couple of days now, I hope you will like this, a bit long, drabble. I'm still working on the next part of "Four Seasons" but I recently entered college and I'm a bit busy atm. I'll try to update as soon as I can. Take care and thanks for reading! 💜
It was raining outside. Heavily so. Making Jimin worry every second for you to text or call him back. You hadn't even read his last texts for heaven's sake! And that made him anxious.
You never left a text unanswered.
Never.
Why was he feeling anxious?
He sighed at his own thoughts. His heart already knowing the answer to that question that he nearly rolled his eyes when he wondered it once more.
You and him had been roommates for nearly five years since the both of you finished college and, conveniently enough, the both of you needed a place to stay with a low rent.
Jimin decided that you both could split the rent while living there together in a seemingly civilised way. And, to his surprise, you agreed. To say that you and Jimin got along since day one was fast-forwarding on so many events that happened between you both until you two settled in a friendship with longing gazes and stolen touches.
He couldn't help the pang of jealousy he felt when you announced earlier that day that a coworker of yours had asked you out to dine with him. You looked so happy about it that he had to force a smile on his plump lips so as to not disappoint you.
But as the storm outside got heavier, he had sent you a quick text asking if you were alright, if he needed to pick you up. To which you answered that you were, in fact, quite fine. He sent yet another text, asking for the address of the place you were having dinner at just in case but you didn't answer his message.
And that had happened nearly an hour ago.
He tried calling you but your phone was switched off and he cursed under his breath. The only thing he could now do was to trust you, hoping that you would be back home soon. However, Jimin had already made up his mind that if you didn't show up by eleven o'clock he was going to leave the flat and search for you.
Even when he had no idea of where you could be. When he didn't have a place to start searching. He would at least look for you.
In the last year, whatever rough edges your roommate relationship had once had evened out. Jimin became a good and close friend to you rather than just your flatmate. And to him, well that was another case.
Jimin also viewed you as a close friend. But he couldn't help how his fingers would tingle every time you would pass him the bowl of popcorn on your lazy movie nights or when you would casually hand him over his phone when he had left in a place he couldn't find it.
He couldn't help but feel the butterflies in his stomach swirl wildly when you laughed out loud when he would fall out of a chair. A fond smile would appear on his face when he discovered you had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for his long shift to end and he had to carry you back to bed.
But with those feelings, a more bitter sensation also appeared in his heart. Like in those times when you'd smile when a coworker texted you wishing you a good night. Or when you were invited to a fancy dinner and you got all dolled up only for you to have other eyes on you.
It felt ridiculous. At least to him. For being jealous of you when you weren't his and he wasn't yours. He didn't have the right to. He didn't have to worry. He didn't have to feel threatened.
Yet he did.
Every. Single. Time.
And now, it was not different. He felt a wrong sensation crawling up his chest that made him think the worst possible scenarios about your date.
But only when he had decided he had waited long enough and was about to grab his car keys, the electronic lock of the front door chimed and the next thing he knew was that you were standing in the entrance way, trying to get your shoes off while you were trying to put the large black umbrella in its place.
"Where have you been? You weren't answering any of my texts."
The worry was evident in his voice. And you would have noticed it if you weren't fighting for your life at the entrance door trying to get your shoes off.
"Well... my phone died."
You said and Jimin was quick to catch the annoyance in your normally sweet voice. The next thing he knew was that you were walking across your shared flat, a grim look on your face and a harshness to your steps he had only witnessed when you were upset or stressed about something.
"Did something happen?"
He asked. In a cautious way. Jimin knew you could get more irritated when he asked you something and you were in one of your moods.
You sighed. Taking a bottle of soju from the fridge. You didn't even get yourself one of the small glasses before you were already taking a swig from the beverage.
His eyes grew wide when he saw you do that. Immediately knowing something was bad. Really bad.
"It's just... aish. Men are assholes."
Jimin couldn't help but chuckle at your muttered words. You drank once more from the bottle so he decided to stop you before you got too drunk to manage.
"Yes, I know."
His hands brushed yours before the bottle of soju left your grasp and the sound of glass hitting the marble counter filled your ears.
"But you care to explain why you are insulting us?"
Your eyes met his. And suddenly, the entire dinner you had had with your coworker flashed in front of your eyes.
"It's just that... I went out with Junseo and... well the date was crappy as hell."
Jimin's hand got a hold of yours as he guided you out of the kitchen and back to the living room.
"I don't want to say "I told you so" but, I told you so."
You rolled your eyes at your friend. He really wasn't helping you at the moment.
"Jimin, what advice can you give me? The both of us have been single since middle school! I know that going out with Junseo was a mistake, I've now proven that theory, but at least I'm trying to find someone. Shouldn't you do the same and stop lecturing me about my, clearly non.existent, love life?"
Now you were frustrated. You didn't exactly know why though. You just were. Maybe it was because Jimin was on his pedestal of know-it-all. Or because of the awful date you just came back from. It could be that Jimin was still holding your hand and the butterflies in your stomach were flying wildly or perhaps the fact that one of your closest friends was so oblivious to your feelings for him.
Or a combination of everything.
He suddenly let go of your hand, a coldness seeping through your bones the moment he stopped touching you. He ran his hands through his hair, messing with the brown locks even more.
"I don't know why you are so rude to me, (y/n). I'm trying to help. There are better guys out there than Junseo, I just wanted you to see that for yourself but you can be so stubborn that not even the idea of 2+2 can get in your head sometimes."
And now Jimin was frustrated. At your lack of comprehension for his feelings. At your harsh words to him. At the attitude you showed. But then again, he had not been better himself right now. When he opened his mouth to apologise you cut him off with a scoff.
Now he had fucked up.
The hurt that flashed in your eyes tore at his heart. But you didn't hold yourself back. You were tired. Tired of this pointless life. Of not being enough. Of feeling invisible. Of Jimin not loving you back.
"Shut up, Park. You don't know what you are talking about. The man I love doesn't even see me as a potential girlfriend! So shut up about my life, you know nothing. Nothing at all. Stop butting yourself in my business."
You didn't leave room for argument. You hadn't raised your voice but it was cold. Calculated even. And the cold daggers pierced Jimin's soft and thudding heart.
You turned around, not grabbing neither your phone nor your coat. You barely had time to put your shoes back on before you left the flat with the front door slamming shut.
Jimin let out a deep sigh. He had screwed this up. And it wasn't the first time you both got into arguments. It was normal for flatmates to argue. But those small fights revolved around what kind of butter to buy or who's turn it was to do the dishes. Not about something like the one he just had with you.
His mind kept rising with millions of responses he could have given you. The main one being him admitting his feelings for you. But he couldn't allow those words to escape his mouth in the middle of an argument.
If so, if Jimin ever planned on letting you know about his love for you, he would like to plan it, take you out on a cute date or in one of your casual dinners at the flat.
He didn't want to shoot the words in the middle of anger and hate.
That is, if he ever manned up enough to say those three words.
He sat down on the couch, the raising thoughts giving him a headache as he ran his hands over his face. But the trance his mind had fallen in was broken when a loud thunder sounded at the distance.
Looking through the window, he was met with the strong rain dancing over the glass, the city lights blurred in the distance and the night sky swallowed the streets.
He stood up. You had left the flat. You had walked out in the middle of your anger. In the middle of an argument when the fumes were still very present and Jimin knew you hadn't even bothered to take your coat with you.
That thought was confirmed when he looked at the coat hanger and yours rested there, almost as if mocking him. Without a second thought, Jimin sprinted over to the front door, noticing your phone in the small table where his car keys rested as well.
Putting his shoes on, he grabbed a large black umbrella and was out the door in the next second. You had gone out by foot so he thought it'd be easier for him to find you if he walked around the building. Somehow in his desperate mind, that thought made sense when any other person would have thought of it to be completely insane.
The rough sound of the rain hitting the pavement filled his ears the moment he left the building. The umbrella managed to somehow shield him from the rain, at least most of it, while he began walking around. Trying to remember the usual places that you enjoyed and that were nearby.
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You were walking slowly in the middle of the rain. Your clothes were completely drenched the second you stepped out of the building of your shared flat but to be honest, you didn't find it in your mind to care.
Your heart was aching.
Your mind was raising with so many thoughts it made you nauseous. The fight you had with Jimin meant more than you initially thought. That was why you left. Because in your confused mind and heartbroken heart you realised he didn't love you.
At least not like you loved him.
And it hurts.
It hurt that he tried to protect you without feeling so strongly for you.
It hurt that he'd smile every morning without a deeper meaning to it.
It hurt that he would hold your hand without wanting to claim you.
It hurt to be so close to him yet so far at the same time. Because he didn't want you in that way. You weren't important in the way you wanted to be for him. You felt rejected. Out of place in your own home.
You knew you had let your frustrations out on him. He didn't deserve that. Jimin was the sweetest man alive. He only deserved happiness. But you weren't his happiness.
Or that was what you thought.
His soft and flirty personality had made you think that perhaps he liked you in the beginning but you got to know that it was only how he was with nearly everyone.
He was too precious to hurt yet he had hurt you.
You walked and walked. Tears left your eyes and rolled down your cheeks, mixing with the rain that poured down your form. You began walking over a crossroad, your ears finding home in the sound of the rain that was almost soothing for your pained soul.
You didn't hear the quick footsteps approaching you, nor did you hear the shout of your name over the sound of the rain. You didn't hear the honk of the car as it approached you quite fast.
You could only hear the rain. The ever so calming rain along with the rapid thumping of your heart.
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Jimin saw you at the distance. Despite the heavy rain that had nearly drenched him completely, the umbrella was of no use anymore. Despite the blurry vision in his eyes due to unshed tears of his own desperation. He saw you.
He saw you crossing the street. Your head hung low.
He couldn't describe the feeling when he saw you. Found you. You were there, his feet carried him without him being truly present, his mind drowning in the essence of you.
Jimin saw how your silhouette got illuminated by light. As if you were an angel. To him, you were. And he lived in a second of perfection. He watched in slow motion as you stood in the middle of the crosswalk, light framing your figure with the drops of the rain frozen in the air.
A second of perfection.
You looked ethereal.
But the clock continued its counting and the next second was the harsh landing on reality.
Jimin didn't hesitate, he was running. He ran as fast as he could. He had to reach you. He had to. The light that had made you look so majestically a mere second ago were the upcoming lights of a car that wouldn't pull over in time.
A shout of your name left his lips. The desperation evident in his voice. If only he could stop time. If only he could make it go back, stop you from leaving the flat.
"(y/n)!"
If only he had taken the impact of his heart when he had fallen for you and not wait until now.
His hand grabbed yours. The moment he got a good grip on your hand he yanked you towards him. The car sped off, not even glancing back through the rear view mirror. A gasp left your lips when you collided with his chest, his arms around your slightly shorter form.
Then there was silence. Silence in his mind. A subtle ringing in his ears as the adrenaline wore off, his breathing returning back to normal as he gripped your arms; pressed you as firmly as he could against him.
You grounded him.
You always have.
Even without knowing it. He had to make sure you were fine. He had to feel you with him. Had to stop the horrendous scenarios in his head from flying around and leaving black smoke behind.
And then he pulled you away from him. Held you at arms-length. His eyes bore into your own while he could hear the strong sound of the rain against the ground. Jimin swallowed, trying to stop the racing thoughts in his mind while thinking that you were fine. You were with him. You were alive.
"Are you crazy?! Can't you see you could have died?!"
He shouted out of anxiety. Fear. If he hadn't been gripping you by your arms so strongly you would have noticed how his hands shook. If he hadn't been so consumed by the fear, he would have noticed the redness in your eyes.
And then he realised. You had been crying. Your mind was as lost as his. His eyes softened, the grip on your arms loosened enough for you to walk away from his grasp yet you didn't move. You didn't say a word. The word of it all crashing down on you like a tsunami.
The unspoken words, the buried feelings, the ache in your heart.
Jimin sighed, a shiver ran down his spine when a subtle breeze passed you both. He took a step closer and engulfed you in his arms once more.
In a softer way. In a gentler manner.
And then he heard it. He heard your sob in the midst of the chaos that was your heart. You cried in his embrace while standing in the pavement, his chin rested atop your head as silent tears left his eyes.
"I'm sorry, I-I'm so sorry."
Your stuttered words crushed his heart. He couldn't bear the pain in your voice.
"I'm sorry too. I... I shouldn't have said those things back at the flat."
Jimin felt your hands around his waist and he tightened his hold on you just a bit more. To reassure you it was fine. That he was there. That you weren't alone. You would never be alone for as long as he lived.
You clutched his shirt in your fists, letting the pain, the anguish, the fear, the shock all wash over you.
"You scared me out there, (y/n/n)."
He whispered. His words were meant for the wind to carry them but you heard them well. You always heard what he had to say.
Lifting your head, you gazed into his eyes, noticing the unshed tears in his dark orbs.
"Why would you be scared? Why did you come out here to find me?"
Jimin looked down at you, he didn't mind the rain pouring over you both. Your clothes were damped, so were his. Your hair was completely drenched and the light makeup on your face was slightly smudged but to him you looked beautiful. So beautiful.
He smiled softly, a tear sliding over his cheek only to then mix with the rain on his tanned skin. One of his hands cradled the side of your face and you felt fire burn your skin beneath his palm.
"Because I love you."
A small gasp left your lips. Was this real? Were you dreaming? For only in your dreams had Jimin ever confessed to having such strong feelings for you.
"I love you so much and I have loved you for a very long time."
Your lips parted softly while you blinked back the tears that melted against your eyelashes.
"Forgive me for saying it like this but I cannot hold it in me any longer. I love you, (y/n)."
A second passed after those words left his plump lips, his heart was beating so fast in his chest for a moment he feared it might leave his ribcage or worse, that you could hear how frantically and strongly his heart beat for you.
A second passed where nerves invaded his mind and body.
What if you didn't feel the same?
What if you liked someone else?
What if he was just a friend?
But then your lips were on his. You stood on your tiptoes, hands resting on his hips as you kissed him. It was soft, a small peck over his pink lips and then it ended.
You parted enough for you to be able to breath, water dripped between you both and you would be lying if you said you were calm at that moment. You were the opposite of calm. You were astonished by your own actions and surprised at Jimin's lack of rejection.
"I love you too. I have loved you for so long and I will continue to love you everyday more and more."
His lips crashed against yours the next moment, his arms fully encircling you to the point where he lifted you off your feet. The kiss was more passionate; stronger. Jimin poured his heart and soul into that kiss and you took it all without hesitation.
Breathless you parted from him. The both of you panting softly while a smile graced your lips and he looked down at you with the fondest look that had ever graced his handsome features.
"Be mine forever."
Jimin whispered. As if you were the only one meant to hear those words. The secret of his soul. You nodded, your hands caressing his face while he held you close to him by the waist.
"Love me forever."
June/29/2023
~Masterlist
Likes, Comments and Reblogs are really appreciated!!!
**☕Caffeinate me so I can keep on writing! ☕
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imnotasuperhero · 1 year
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Masterpiece
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Wanda Maximoff x Reader
A/N: Remember my fic staring Angel!Wanda? Well.. Here I share you another story in the same AU. Promise it’s not too painful.
Or, the need to revive this AU and @wandabear ranting over her with me, provided an idea based on Masterpiece by Madonna and made me do it. Enjoy!
Weeks passed since Wanda finally revealed her true self, and your love for her only grew stronger.
Having a feathered girlfriend could be both, a blessing and chaos. Luckily, the last happened behind closed doors -if you ignore that event a few days back.
And you were fine ignoring it. As if it never happened.
But as the blearing thick letters on the screen confirmed the hidden fear in the back of your mind, your heartbeat started to pound in a not-so-good way, silently begging Wanda to hurry back home. Like a secret prayer to a weary God.
Granted, the face of the suspect wasn't revealed, which gave you some sort of tranquility. Yet, the small voice at the back of your head kept coming up with possible outcomes if someone ever knew about Wanda. And you couldn't -won't- let anything happen to her.
Nothing's indestructible.
Caressing her cheek, you admired Wanda's sleeping form. A true work of art made of flesh and bones and wings.
And boy, were you lucky to be the chosen one.
She might've saved you time after time, it was only fair you took care of her.
Your heart ached and healed at the same time when at the end of the night, you were the only one by her side. Every night.
Your insides filled with pride knowing you were worthy enough to be the one who made her laugh, who held her while she opened up, who dried her tears. You were the one she let her walls fall down for. You were the one who got to love her in every aspect of the word.
Yet, you were the one who hurt so painfully because after all, every thing that breathed could be harmed.
And God forbid you to witness that. Even after your time had come.
"Your thoughts are loud," Wanda mumbled as she snuggled closer.
Looking down, you stared at her almost quizzically.
"Sorry," you leaned down to kiss her forehead, melting at the sound escaping her lips.
Muffling a yawn against your chest, Wanda rolled over, pinning you down. "What's on your mind?"
You sighed at the worriness in her voice.
"Is it about the news?" She pushed after a few moments of silence.
Absentmindedly, you could only nod.
Like every time she looked at you, you couldn't help but wander into those forest orbs of hers. As if your lungs craved the oxygen needed to function and it was something to find exclusively in her eyes.
You smiled at the feather-like kisses she peppered your face with.
"I'm safe, baby," she vowed, joining your foreheads together. "I'm right where I'm meant to be."
Opposed to Wanda's intentions, her words only served for you to open the water gates of your eyes -heart- as your arms locked her in place, right on top of you, as you hid your face in the crook of her neck.
The pain only grew when you heard the gush of air around you. The tingly sensation was forgotten as a lightweight settled above you.
Wanda's heart broke at that confession.
'If only your wings protected you too,' you cried to yourself.
"Y/N," the brunette repeated herself sternly only to smile something bittersweet when you peeked at her sheepishly, tears escaping your eyes.
"Only two things can kill me," Wanda spoke vehemently, brushing away the tears with the pad of the thumbs. "One is locked in heaven. The other one is right in front of me." The brunette confessed confidently. "And I know you will never do it."
"Look at me, Detka," Wanda commanded. Yet, you refused to obey.
Because she knew. She's known it since the first time you looked at her.
The way your eyes admired her, made her feel like the Mona Lisa. Something so priceless and unique to be kept at reaching distance.
And for the majority of her life, she's felt like a caged creature. Always hidden, repeating the same lie to every new nosy human that crossed her path. In every new place she moved into, she repeated the same lie over and over to the point she started to believe it.
Until you came.
A -clumsy- nosy woman with the spirit of a child. So full of life that it made Wanda want to know you. Really know you.
That's why she couldn't help her body's instinct to shield you both with her wings at the sight of your body in a such fragile state.
Hopefully, they'd work their charm and calm your thoughts. But every passing second confirmed it didn't work.
"You're mine to keep," you whispered, warming her heart.
She understood your worries. She had them, too. But she never acted on instinct when she was out in the open world. She's become a pro at hiding her nature.
"I'm yours to destroy." Wanda joined your lips together, sealing an unspoken pact in that painful, yet reviving, kiss.
Because even if Wanda had given you her heart in a silver plate to stab whenever you wanted, you took it and secured it in a crystal box, safe from all the harm of the world.
If you liked it, please comment or reblog (Let me knoe if you want to be in a taglist)
And it was right then, right there where you swore your soul to protect her.
She was your masterpiece and you made it your mission to make her indestructible. At any cost.
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