Liverpool FC as Cakes part 1
#thecakeseries in honour of my genius and wonderful anon who deserves the world, all credit goes to them bc they literally came up with all of this and they are amazing, thanks for talking to me and being the founder of this amazing thing yall better appreciate this post for them istg
disclaimer ive tasted like none of these cake i dunno what the fuck im talking about, dont take it serious, its not meant to be
aight so kloppo is banoffee
the banana fits w his bvb side
and the toffee is obvs lfc cus we get ourselves stuck in all sorts of dumb situations
im lookin at u defence
plus it matches his hair colour
emre can is toffeeee
“cus we all wanna get stuck him”- ancient proverb by anon the literal genius
thats it, thats the main reason
hes sweet and delicious as hell, i mean i dont actually kno but he looks it
who doesnt want a piece of emre can is the real question here
the cake is tan, he is tan, thicccc afff
EMRE CAN IS JUST A WALKING TOFFEE CAKE YALL
Sadio Mane as Black Forest
do u literally see any difference??? no, me either
both badass and sweet as hell
literally no one can resist
supermane is literally the cherry on top of this team and its so good
Ben as Chocolate Cupcake
tiny and smol, so good and hard to resist
full of all the good stuff
both actual babies too good for this world, too pure,
seeing ben play is like enjoying a chocolate cupcake its totally fitting
both babiessss just like a cupcake to an actual cake, and ben woodburn in the senior team
NATHANIEL CLYNE IS RAINBOW CAKE
THIS ONE IS MY FAVE GOODBYE
cus he my life and a sunshine and the brightest thing and he needs all the love
AND HES UNDERAPPRECIATED prolly like rainbow cake
rainbows are full of love, and im full of love for him, and he is perfection,
he needs more love
James Milner as Red Velvet (this all started cus of james milner, it is entirely his fault)
i literally see no difference between him and the cake
he was born to play in red, he looks the best in this colour
i find red velvet a lil bland which totes fits w the ‘boring james milner’ persona
plus some people love him some people dont, totally like red velvet
both very pretty to look at
Trent is Charlotte Cake
because HE IS TOO IS SMALL AND FILLED WITH AMAZING THINGS (im talking about talent)
He is also v pretty like the cake
if anyone deserves a good cake its trent, cus hes the best bean and we all love him
Momo as Ginger Spice
have u seen him play
this dude got something in his locker bruh and its full of spice and magic
i would die for this man, look at him hes an actual angel on earth,
the icing represents his beard,
ginger cake is warm and fluffy and good just like him,
Studge as Chocolate
SWEET AS HELL AND NAUGHTY AS SHIT
studge is cheeky just like when u eat chocolate cake and make sure no one sees
uve heard of cheeky nandos w the boys,now get ready for cheeky chocolate cake and a slice of daniel sturridge ;)
literally no one can be chocolate cake cus its studge and no matter what we will always love him
Couti is Chocolate Mousse (this happened before he fucked us over)
bc he’s tiny, delicious and makes everyone happy,
also high key magical and fluffy
smol but magical and everyones guilty pleasure,
everyone wants a piece of couti (ykno back before he stabbed us in the heart and make us all sick,
we had to much chocolate mousse and this is our punishment
good enough that to give us a heart attack
loris karius as angel cake
hes an actually looks like a fucking angel goodbye
like bobby, why isnt bobby angel cake idk
is angel cake as pretty as loris??? no it isnt
i would chose to eat loris over angel cake anyday who said that not me
im to distracted by that picture to even write a description bye
adz is strawberry
A TINY SMOL FLUFFBALL
PRETTY AS HELL
SOOOO GOOD
like we often forget about stawberry cake but when we have it we love it
a bit like adz not playing and then surprising us w his cruyff turns again and his quick feet
if lallama was a fruit he would literally be a stawberry, so smollll
s/o to my anon, they came up w literally all the cakes, give them all the love
link to part 2
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Ok so losing just your left ass cheek would mean
One. sitting down would mean to lean to the left at all times, which just makes you look like you're trying to "discreetly" fart, you wanna get a "pffffffssss" and not a "ppbbbbffbs" and leaning like that usually works but it doesn't matter anymore because yoru do that to be discreet but ficking everyone saw you lean everytime and now you just look liem that permanently so no one trusts you
Two. if you do try to sit straight up it would mean sitting only on your right ass cheek and that will start cramping fuking fast my dudes. Imagine having to sit down for a meeting or for a class and then in the middle of your first hour you feel your ass cheek cramp but you can't move because that's gonna get you yelled at but your singular ass cheek hurts and you need to move- That's hell right there for ya.
Three. if you lost both ass cheeks it wouldn't look weird, your just that person with no fucking ass, board lookin motherfucker but still alright, but just one ass cheek? You're a freak, especiall if you had a thicccc ass ass before then, you just have fucking _n ass now and everyone's gonna make fun of you for it.
And that's my petition to change "I bet my ass" to " i bet my left ass cheek" for when you are convince of something because losing your whole ass isn't hard.
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