Tumgik
#loove my son so much
zombytommy · 2 months
Note
Tumblr media
Real thank youfro.for the funyuns (hoepp I drew them both okay )!!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
IM EBIGN SERIOUS WJEN I SAY THIS. WHEN I SAW THIS LITERALLY WANTED TO CRY OUT OF JOY.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#folder: asks.jpeg#others_art.pdf#user: rusty-gloinks#bestbuds.org#I WAS DRAWNG AND LISTENINF TO MARKIPLIER AND WHEN I WAS DONE DRAWINF I LIKE!!!! OPENED TUMBLR THINKING#“im GONNA ASNSWR SOME ASKS AND SAVE THIS ART AS A DRAFT” AND WHEN I OPEN TUMBLR I GET JUMPSCARED#BY THIS?!?!!!!! LIKE. THE GASP AND SURPRISE ON MY FACE I WAS LITERALLY ON THE VERGE OF TEARS!!!!!!!!#SLASH VERY POSITIVE!!!!!!! I LITERALLY MESSAGED ALL MY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS#LIKE THIS STRAIGHT UP MADE ME SO HAPPY!!!!!!! WHAT THE HECK I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS AT ALL!!!!!#WERE THE FUNYUNS THAT GOOD?!?!!!!! 💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#YOU DREW THEM SO GOOD WHAT THE HECK IM LITERALLY SCREAMING AAAGHH I WAS YELLING SO MUCH WHEN I SWW THIS#I ADORE YOUR ART SO MUCH TOO WHHAATT LIKE ITS SO SOFT AND SHAPED AND I LOVE THE LINES AND FACIAL EXPRESSIONS!!!!!!! AUAYUAGAHH!!!!!!!#i love how. YOU DREW THEM THEY'RE SO CUTE I'M STILL SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS LIKE!!!! AUAGH they're sooo adorable I'm#I LOOVE YOUR ART STYLE TOMMY DOE MD OC LOOKS SO BOUNCY AND ROUND AND SO CUUTE WHAAT!!!!! AUAGuhh im meltingfg#I THINK THATS J BY THEM CORRECT ME IF IM WRONF THEY LOOK SO SO PRETTY TOO I LOVE YOUR DESIGN FOR THEM!!!?!!!?!!! WHATAAT?!?!!#reminds me of. gardener and i like it :-)#FIREY JR SPOTTED TOO THEIR LITTLE SON!!!!!!! I NEED TO TAKE MORE PICTURES OF THEM WITH MY FIREY PLUSH AIGIGUGHH#theres so many tags on this post. THANK YOU SO MUCH?!?!!! SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED THE FUNYUNS OH KY OSH?!?!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#literally wanted to cry at this FROM JOY#winesoda#(i think!!!!!)#file: fanart.png#about time i made a tag for this!!!#folder: bookmarks.org#ocs: tommy doe
7 notes · View notes
hootsimedes · 10 months
Text
¡My Relationships Dinamics Between the Mercenaries!
¡Hello guys! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤ Today i'm coming to show you how I will use the relationships in my drawings and comics.
Little reminder that English is not my matern leguangue, probably I make a lot of mistakes in my writing. I'm sorry if that happen (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)
Here we go:
Tumblr media
I know it's a fricking confused spaghetti but don't worry, there's two parts for separate.
First Part:
Tumblr media
And The Second Part:
Tumblr media
Well, this part is not much better than the two combined... (It's all Spy fault, nah i'm joking xD)
Well, let me explain some things:
First of all: Medic and Sniper have a crush for each other... ¡And Spy have a crush with Sniper! And Spy and Medic hate each other for reasons, of course, the most important one is Sniper's love xD I'm sorry but two sexy veterans fighting for a inexpert Aussie is just perfect and fun for me (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) (even if Sniper send Spy very badly to the friendzone unintentionally ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ)
The "like family" one means they see each other like a family member, for example, Sniper and Scout are like big and lil' brother; or Engie and Pyro like father and son. I love the idea of Sniper beign a good figure who Scout admires and respect (even if he doesn't want to admite it) And Pyro sees that parent figure in Engie, who cares a lot for he and of course the team! For me Engie is one of the most responsible merc and always tries to calm down the situation when things get bad... And he's friend with everyone in the team! Except Spy... But then we'll talk about Engie...
The trio of nightmares... Scout, Soldier and Pyro. This three bastards hang out to play tricks to the people. Sometimes, You can see them at 03:00 am trhowing eggs to the BLU Team's windows or letting free a group of mutant bread in the base... You never know what they'll do next... Also, Demo and Sniper are friends. They're more like, friends who met up for a few beers with Engie.
The difference between "Annoying, but still a friend" and "Annoying" is, as this one says, they think it's annoying sometimes, but they can handle that. For example, Medic, who sometimes can't stand Scout's attitude and vice versa, but inside they can't really be mad at each other (especially if he's your older brother's boyfriend(?) Same with Demo and again, Scout, but it's just for the Demo side, Scout considers him as a friend. With Sniper and Spy it's like, Sniper thinks Spy can be very rude, but deep down he knows that's the way Spy communicates. I don't know how to explain this lmao.
The Best Friends! Let's back with Engie! He's the Best Friend of Sniper and Medic, so, sometimes he help this two silly lovebirds to make a move! Like, giving some advices to Medic or telling Sniper about Medic's hints! Idk I like that they share the same best friend. Heavy is Medic's best friend of course, they like spend time talking and our Doctor looves to talk with Heavy about how he feels about Sniper, and the weapons guy just think it's adorable and want to help his pal! So, as Engie, he tried to give to Doctor some advices! Finally, but no less important, we have Soldier and Demoman! They are besties... And maybe, Soldier get little jealous with Demo 'cause he spends time with the enemy Soldier and he doesn't want to lost his bestie... But if he knew the reason for that...
Spy's relationships... Yeah, this will take a long time... Anyway, Spy doesn't have a good relation with his team... Except for Sniper, but that just happened after a discussion with Medic, before that they don't talk to each other and Spy has a very bad vision of the bushman. He respects Heavy and Engie, he believes these are the only two mercs who are still sane, but they aren't friends... Spy doesn't spend time with the team, he thinks all are annoying... And he hates Pyro for reasons I can't explain now (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠) and the team thinks Spy is annoying 'cause he's attitude towards them. The relation with Medic is bad for the differents opinions, ideas and estrategy they have... But of course de most important one is Sniper! After Spy found that thing that makes Sniper soo interesting to him, he want to stay with the bushman more time (inviting him to a smoke break, or helping him to cook and giving him some pointers on that!) And, well, Medic start to see these tiny things like "oh, no no, find another yourself, this is taken ರ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ರ" and then they start fighting and nobody, even Sniper, understands what's going on xD I'm not a fan of love triangles but Damm the amount of ideas I have with these trhee!! I can't, sorry (⁠ᗒ⁠ᗩ⁠ᗕ⁠)!!
Scout retains the love interest in Miss Pauling and Soldier (RED) is still in a relationship with Zhanna. This is not important, but I wanted to clarify...
And of course, as I mentioned with the case of Spy, most of the relations are not like this for now. I want to make comics or drawings exploring this dynamics (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡
The BLU Team has their own relations too! But I not gonna explore that for now... It's a surprise (⁠~⁠ ̄⁠³⁠ ̄⁠)⁠~
Oh, almost forgot to tell this won't afect the requests, at least the ppl who make them want it.
Finally, all relationships are just my vision for my comics and drawings and I don't consider any of these things "Canon" (at least the ones that are not confirmed).
Well that's all for now, wait for more things i'm going to share to you guys!
if you have questions or want to know something specific, you know where to go ;)
Thanks for your time and see you later! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤
78 notes · View notes
bebbie-bilinski · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
Stiles Stilinksi age regression headcannons
go easy on me this is my first HC post 😅
ᴀɢᴇ ʀᴀɴɢᴇ
Stiles mainly regresses around the ages of 0-2 so his regression is geared towards the baby side. A lot of it consists of speech-loss, whines and hums, pointing for what he wants, using basic ASL, clumsy-ness, naps, and lots of cuddling. 
ᴡʜᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡꜱ?
Stiles is very secretive about his regression, at first the only person that knew about it was his dad Noah, but that was only because of how persistent the man was on finding out what exactly his son was guarding so closely. Then there’s Derek, who eventually becomes one of his primary caregivers. Derek seemed to take the “news” of his regression the hardest, not because he couldn’t accept it but because he had some serious cleaning up to do with his act (Slamming Stiles’ head onto the steering wheel of his jeep for shenanigans, tossing him around, being at the butt end of so many of Derek’s award winning death-glares, he had a lot of making up to do). Of course, where there’s Derek there’s Peter. He looves to tease about his regression at every given chance but is a very protective caregiver when need be. Then there’s Scott who’s always known even before he couldn’t place his best friend’s odd behavior with the term “age regression". He may be the worst babysitter ever for always giving in to ice-cream for breakfast… and lunch… and dinner, but he really means well! Lydia! Stiles was mortified when Lydia found out and avoided her at all costs but eventually got cornered and lectured on “why on Earth would he hide something like this from her when she’s fully capable of taking on whatever role he needed?!”. The rest of the pack learns about Stiles’ regression but initially its Noah, Derek, Peter, Scott, and Lydia.
ᴡʜʏ ʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ɪᴛ
He mainly regresses due to trauma and a not-so-happy childhood. Although, he also uses it to cope with acute anxiety disorders and autism (yup he’s also got autism to me which I can make a separate post about and go much more in depth). Getting possessed by a thousands year old demon sure is a catalyst for wanting to throw on one of his dad’s old t-shirts, making a nest of blankets/toys and curling up on the couch while watching an old comfort cartoon. 
ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɢᴇᴀʀ ʜᴇ ʜᴀꜱ
Baby pacifiers - He has one adult pacifier but the guy adores the tiny baby ones
Onesies - Not a huge fan of how constricting they can be so he only has two or three 
Fuzzy socks - Ohmygod his sock drawer is overflowing with an array of the softest and fuzziest socks he can find at the nearest Target
Stuffed animals - Need I say more? He’s got a couple jellycats (a wolf and a horse), two build a bears he frankenstein-ed and stitched together named Puppy-Bear (can you tell what animals they we’re respectively?), a Pound Puppy, a huge elephant named Jattestor from Ikea, Clarice (a six legged lamb by HoneyLambs seriously check them out they make the coolest stuffed animals), a plethora of Eeyores and a plethora of Furskin’s Bears as well as other customized stuffed animals (no I totally didn’t make this list off of my own stuffed animals, ur lucky I didn’t write them all down)
Pjs - Seriously I think he has a pajama-hoarding problem because at this point he collects any remotely cute and sensory friendly pajama set he lays eyes on
Bottle - his literal favorite piece of regression gear. Nothing fancy, just a small clear blue baby bottle he bought at the clearance section of whatever grocery store he was at
Miscellaneous- building blocks, counter bears, calico critters, jumbo crayons (cus the regular ones are just too small for his taste!), coloring books, stickers (So. Many. Stickers.), night lights, baby utensils, rattles and teethers, pacifier case, and a basket-full of stim toys
i'll be making more headcannon posts but expect them all to be stiles-centric ^^ and thank u @jjtheresidentbaby for all ur support/motivation :D
Tumblr media
33 notes · View notes
bagerfluff · 8 months
Note
hii its me again, the person who requested a fred weasley one shot! may i be 💜 anon??
i have another request cause i loove ur writing so much, i was wondering if you could do a bit of a prequel to the one shot where the reader wants to meet the rest of the weasleys during the summer, but at that time, fred was staying at grimmauld place and tries to convince his mum to let the reader stay over. you can take it from here, ill be happy with anything:))) have a lovely day!!!
Hi, I hope this what you wanted and you are really nice. Have a good day or night. :)
Proof Read and 651 Words
Summer Fun
Ah, summer. Everyone loves it. You have all the time to do anything you want. And the thing Y/n wanted was to meet his boyfriend's family. He hasn't met them yet and he wanted to. He's heard that the Weasley's are a disgrace to the pureblood name but according to Fred they where great and he wanted to meet them.
But when he asked his boyfriend Fred said that this year might not be the best time. When Y/n asked why Fred said that he was staying at Grimmauld Place and his Mum might not let them. But after asking almost every five minutes, Fred couldn't say no to his boyfriend and said that he would ask.
The smile that Y/n gave was worth it, and that's how we got here. Fred basally begging his mum for Y/n to come over. "Please Mum" Fred said to his Mum as she was cooking dinner for every one that was staying.
"Why do you want him to come?" She asked not looking up from what she was cooking.
"He wants to met you," Fred said but cringed at what his Mum said after that.
"Why is it so important for your friend to met us?" Molly asked turning around.
That was real reason Fred didn't want Y/n to come over. He hasn't come out yet. He knew that his parents would accept him but for some reason he just couldn't. But now he had to; he didn't want his boyfriend to be sad.
"Because" Fred took a deep breath "Y/n is my boyfriend".
Molly stopped cooking and turned around to look at her son. "That's great," Molly said real happily and went to hug her son. Fred let out a sight of relief and hugged his Mum's back.
When Molly pulled away she asked Fred why he told her that he never found the time and that Y/n was welcome to come and met the rest of the family. Fred basically ran up to his room to write the letter to Y/n.
Dear Y/n
Guess what my mom said you could come over and stay!
I guess you where right after all.
Make sure you get ready to met my family and a lot of other people.
I also came out to my mom and she accepts me!
But I guess you already knew that, anyway have a safe trip here
and I love you.
Love Freddie
When Y/n got the letter he was ecstatic. He had never packed his bags so quickly. He quickly apparated to Grimmauld Place where Fred was waiting for him.
"Y/n!" Fred yelled as he wrapped him in a hug.
They normally don't see each other during the summer, so this was their first summer together. Y/n hugged Fred back but only got to hug him for a bit before Fred dragged him into his room to put his stuff away and wait for dinner to be done
Time Skip
"Time for Dinner" Fred looked up at that. Dinner was done, time for Y/n to meet his family. Fred looked down at his boyfriend who was reading a book but put it down when he heard Molly scream.
"You ready?" He asked and Y/n nodded, sweating a little.
They got up and headed down stairs and when they got down everyone was looking at them. Y/n and Fred felt a little shaky as everyone was looking at them.
No one said anything until Arthur asked "Who's this Fred?"
Fred swallowed the spit in his mouth before talking. "This is Y/n" he grabbed his hand. "My boyfriend".
Everyone looked at them before they started congratulating them and introducing themselves.
Y/n was happy that he met Fred's family and Fred was happy that he met them and happy that it went well.
36 notes · View notes
the-paper-monkey · 8 months
Note
What are some nextgen fics you would recommend? 💖
So I haven't read that much next gen, but what I've read was top quality. This was very delayed because I was searching high and low for a fic, only to realise it was the 5th highest kudos'd Scorp/James fic 💀
Astra Inclinant by eleventy7
James Sirius Potter/Scorpius Malfoy, Harry Potter & Draco Malfoy
"The stars incline us, they do not bind us." For Harry, it's something he learned long ago on the battlefield. But for his son, James, it will be a painful lesson in the form of a friendship with a boy named Scorpius Malfoy.
Fantastic character work and both funny and a real tearjerker at times. I do consider this a literature quality fic. Perhaps not surprising since it's eleventy7. Harry and Draco's friendship here is also really compelling (I ship it, of course).
Houses (orphaned)
James Sirius Potter/Scorpius Malfoy
Scorpius Malfoy goes away to school. And James Potter's legs keep invading his personal space.
I honestly can't talk in much detail on this one as I only read it once several years ago. But I remember I loved the portrayal of all the characters—warts and all. Probably not a fic for those who like Draco depicted as a good father, but I found it realistic, albeit depressing, considering his own upbringing, personality and war trauma.
My all time fave next gen fic is 'Coda to an Epilogue' by Maya, but as I mentioned to you in DMs, I won't link it since it has been deleted. But I loove Harry's character voice, the portrayal of the kids—Scorpius in particular, it's not a common Scorp portrayal... reminds me a bit of Tom, actually—and I love Draco's OC wife. I'd like to see more non-Astoria versions of Draco's wife in fic tbh. Another thing I like about 'Houses'.
7 notes · View notes
synth-spinner · 1 year
Note
oh one thing i wanted to ask you, if the superior thing happened in ps4 world, how would you go about it? Because Otto is made to be more . endearing (? i’m not really sure since i only cared about Miles) in this game esp because of his close relationship shown with Peter, do you think he would immediately try to do good or would he still have that “haha i can do what i want now” followed by an internal battle to better himself even though he did have to kill Peter for the body?? or would you completely go a different route and make it so neither Otto or Peter die in this seeing as they’re much closer here?? and would the company Otto made as “Peter” even exist in your version?? i know you really love the ps4/5 versions of these two so i was just curious ^_^
OOOOOO that's a pretty interesting idea :0 I've actually never thought abt that since I loove the 1048 canon story and usually need ps4 peter to do my silly found family ideas with my own superior (who travels to 1048 to visit with those dimension hoppers in the spiderverse comic)
My take on a superior arc within earth 1048 is that it probably wouldn't take as long for otto to stop being evil !! I always saw ps4 otto as being malicious only cuz of the errors in the neural interface + his desperation :3 if it was removed I think he could eventually come back to his senses and somewhat return to being a sweetheart like he originally was ^_^ so if he swapped bodies with peter then since he no longer has the neural interface affecting his mind and he isn't desperate to escape his failing body anymore he would calm down pretty quickly from his evilguy mode and be like oh god what have I done 💥
Plus doc wasn't like actively dying in ps4! So if he did swap bodies with peter it would not be a very good plan since there's no guarantee peter won't be able to fight back </3 so unless we change that aspect of the story he probably wouldn't have attempted to do that in the first place </33
BUTTT IF HE DID ^_^ and if peter does die and otto relives all his memories then it would just be a huge horror for that man.. he would like instantly snap out of that evilguy mindset and be mortified by what he did </3 its gonna be so much worse for ps4 otto cuz he's cared for peter for so long and saw him a son vs the default otto who. Let's be honest he likely didn't care much beforehand </3 I mean even when ps4 otto was going evilmode he still left a message to Peter saying he hopes they don't find each other on opposite sides </3 BWAHHH
So! My thoughts r that it is kindaa hard to see it happen BUT if it did it would be SUPER sad </3 so much angst potential </3 for relationships i dunno honestly! I think ps4 otto would rather stay alone and cut off from the world after he realises what he's done vs huge ego comic ock who immediately tried to make ties for his own gain </333 MAAAN now uve got me slamming my fist crying thinking abt it.. ps4 peter and ock my beloved they dont deserve this💥💥💥💥
9 notes · View notes
eliazine · 1 year
Text
Never Let Me Go 1&2 : Dynamics of power or "Nueng, you should learn to swim !"
So. This is my first meta. I guess the sometimes massives posts I wrote in response to others meta could count but they were in themselves interaction whereas this feel like talking into the void. So please, interact with me :) ? I wrote this to formalise my thoughts about the beginning of never let me go but I would loove to have people agree/disagree with my take and share why :)
I just watched the first two episodes of Never Let Me Go and wanted to pour my thoughts somewhere about the way the serie is handling relationship accross social class so far. Disclaimer : contrary to what this could look like, I do really like Nueng ! This is just the beginning of his character arc and it is a very interesting starting point. I look forward to him and Palm figuring out how to interact in a meaningfull manner.
Nueng is a young heir and Palm is his new bodygard. An important point is that from the other characters point of view, either Nueng isn't supposed to know Palm is an employee himself and not just the son of one (and him figuring it out is a proof that he has some understanding of the way his world works) or like at school, Nueng isn't supposed to know Palm at all.
Nueng is the boss
Nueng decided to treat Palm as a friend with the caveat that when needed he doesn't hesitate to remind them both that he is indeed the boss and that Palm has no say over what is going on between them. Which he does a lot, from little barbs to blackmailing him. Yes, he may not have any intention to use it and not even see it as a big deal : I'm gonna tell your dad you went to swim without permission may not exactly sound menacing to him as a mafia heir because he doesn't realize how much it means to Palm and the way this beginning set the tone of their whole relationship.
Because Palm, his father and maybe his whole family (we don't know about them but siblings, mother, grand-parents ?), are dependant on Nueng and his mother. Apart from their salary, being their bodygard clearly seems to be the core of Palm's father identity. He devoted himself to them, putting aside his own family even if the devotion may also be caused by the fact his job enables him to provide for them. The fact that he would only bring Palm with him when he is needed by his employer is harsh. But from his point of vue, he may have let him just live his own life until this great opportunity came to get a life-long job, a job that he himself deemed worthy to dedicate his life to. So Palm displeasing Nueng would at worst put their whole family in peril, at best be a huge blow to his father by reflecting on him and especially since he was the one to suggest Palm for the job. Both outcomes are to be avoided at all cost.
Why does Nueng act that way : It seems clear that he acts that way in order to protect himself, he does want a friend but doesn't want to be vulnerable. A "genuine" friend could deceive him, have ulterior motive going from small favour towards their university admission to full betrayal. A friend-for-hire doesn't, it may not be as rewarding but at least the risk is minimal. There is a contract between Palm and his family so, on a personal level what Palm mays want from him is taken care of and on the macro level being the son of a trusted employe, he is a safe person too. Can't fault someone to being risk-aversed a few weeks after his father being shot. Still, he needs to always remind himself that he is in control of the situation. He could do it silently but regularly he explicitly state it to Palm which can be seen as cruel but are in fact the moments where he is at least real with him.
Nueng as a "friend"
On the other hand, what I find very interesting is the way he acts when he does believe he is playing the part of a friend. When he invites Palm for breakfast or to carpool, he does it because that what would feel normal to him and so that's what should be. But he doesn't consider the situation he is putting Palm in. By pretending he is a guest, he is alienating him fron the rest of the staff. Because the staff would have to fall in line and treat him the same way, which (even if they would stay fond of him) would deprive him of the sense of easy belonging they provide him in this new place. Especially on the carpool aspect, it would be awfully akward for him to have his own father act as a chauffeur toward him. I liked that they used the school to transpose the same dynamic toward Nueng. By being the same kind of "friendly", the teacher that prevented him to do push-up even though he was also late put him in almost the same situation this time towards his peers students. The only difference being that even in this situation Nueng remains the one that has the power over the teacher. He try to decline the favour and doesn't dare to push it but if he chose to he would face real consequence and it may even greatly help toward others student seeing him as one of their own. Bullies will be bullies, but it could help those that are just intimidated by him to approach him. As it is, Ben is the only one who dares, I think because the fact that he is class president give him both symbolic power countering Nueng's and an incentive to.
It's a simple matter of not being either fish or flesh, which is horribly isolating. And it seems this is something Nueng was never taught to take into consideration, be it as a social tool or a weapon.
But even though, he could at least pick up on the way he makes Palm obviously ill-at-ease. I dare say he can see it, but he just acts as if doesn't matter and doesn't try to make it easier for Palm (well unless we see ordering him as a way to make it easier. indeed it removes the doubt about what Palm should do : just obey, but it makes it a job, the opposite of a shared moment free from what is expected of him). This is what he deemed should be and he seems to expect Palm to just get used to it (because it is so normal ! and shouldn't be any other way ). Which even if we're talking about something as mundane as having breakfast is still a diresgard for consent. In those situations, he is not trying to establish a relationship despite the weight of their respective position, he is just genuinely trying to deny it exists which in a sense put all of it on Palm shoulders until the moment where he bring it back in full force.
Even the way he get his mother to authorize using the pool is done in a way that is explicitly as a favour and not a discreet kindness. I know what you want and I'm giving it to you. But we are nowhere near a "because I like it when you are happy" (I love this line with such a passion) and it's more like a "now you owe me" or at least "see, what a good friend I can be". Again I do believe it is genuinly meant just poorly executed.
What about Palm ?
And no, Palm isn't grateful, happy for the opportunities he is offered etc.. But he isn't profundly hurt by it either because he isn't emotionnaly involved (yet). From where he stands, he understands the game his boss wants to play and just need to find his footing. He needs to do what's expected of him so he can avoid the forementionned consequences while still finding a way to be at ease with his world outside of the game as well as the moments where the game pause. As an aside, their "I always kept my eyes on you" sounded more to me as Palm feeling he was beeing rebuked by his boss and defending himself by denying that he had been distracted from his job by mackye than him wanting Nueng to know he is interested in him. At this stage, I don't think it would be true and if it was he definitly wouldn't express it even as a joke. They are not mates sounding each other out. And even if Nueng intention was to tease him, I don't think it came accross that way.
Is it even worth trying ?
So what could they do ? Is it simply impossible for them to be friend ? For Palm, in his situation he can't really take initiatives and moreover he isn't interested in doing it. He may feel interested by Nueng in some ways but he mainly wants to get on with his job and life. But for Nueng, he Can act in order to create a real friendship and at least at first a better "friend-for-hire" relationship. But, and it is so obvious and crucial, he needs to take Palm into consideration for it to work. He needs to observe or even better ask (but that will only be possible at a latter stage) what put Palm ill at ease and understand (or even better later discuss together) why and find (again better if together) how to improve on it. As this stage, he could discretly offer for Palm to ride in front with his father when the later is driving him to school, he would still let him keep the role of son of an employee while avoiding him the trouble of taking the bus. The breakfast is harder, because sharing a meal is intimate. Maybe later he could try to come and take breakfast in the kitchen with Palm and the cook. As their boss, it could be an invasion of Their personnal space and he would need to be self-conscious and carefull to be sure they are not unconfortable but at least he would be the one enduring the fact that he isn't where he is supposed to be.
He could also try and create situations where he can give Palm some power at least in a relative and localized way. He could go on Palm's ground and put himself out of his own confort zone. He would still ultimatly be the boss and that fact wouldn't be erased but it could be mitigated. (Kinnporsche ep6 was a great example, Porsche being more experimented in the wild allowed them to share moments where he didn't have to defer to Kinn, could even have Kinn defer to him and it greatly contributed to leveling the ground between them so that they could then have meaningful interactions, says sorry and be forgiven etc..)
I was a bit disapointed to see that the pool was (or at least is still for now) a missed opportunity. I'm sure Nueng already knows how to swim but asking Palm, who is a better swimmer and for whom the pool is his natural habitat, to train him would be a great idea. It is a mundane way to create a space for them to easily spend time together, without overtly confronting their employer/employee relationship and with Palm being in a confortable environment and temporarily gaining some form of control over the situation between them. Whereas as a conterexemple, Nueng helping Palm with his chinese is quite nice from him but works as a reinforcement of their general dynamic. It puts Palm in a situation where he is in a weak spot and risks Pueng loosing patience with him if he doesn't succeed well/quickly enough.
To be continued
I find this subject fascinating and look forward to the way the scriptwriters will adress it. The fact that the firsts episodes put such an emphase on it gives me hope that it will be well adressed.
We are all Mafia Heirs
I will also use this post as a reminder to myself and anyone interested in it that all of us should be careful of the way we act when in position of power or symbolic power. We do not need to be head of mafia/heirs/millionnaires/bosses to have to take those things into consideration because, as Bourdieu would says Dynamics of Power are Everywhere (may I says I mention him mainly so you could go and check his work out if it interest you, I intends to do it myself and am by no means an expert). No matter how friendly, approachable or even weak we feel, we can all become intimidating to others by way of being : an established member of a friend group, at a more than beginner level in a given activity, a senior in the company, the host, the organizer of an event or of some club/association activity, a member of the majority of the current context (be it by our gender, race, orientation, religion, age etc…) . For now, the best ways I found to mitigate it (and I'm very interested in yours !) are indeed to recognise when I am in a position of symbolic power and stay observant of other people reactions to pick up on the moments where they seem unconfortable. And my favorite tool is try and make them talk about, or participate with them to things they are better at than me (and woah, did I learn interesting things that way !). It level the ground and help to make people feels able to be more natural in our interactions.
As an aside tip, I found that reminding myself of it also works in making me more at ease with someone who has symbolic (or explicit) power over me. Yes they are the teacher of my sport club, an important person in the work hierarchy, an expert is this field I'm interested in, their meta/fic as so awesome, but this is not the whole of their person and the situation could even be inverted if they were to come on the parts of my ground where I would end up being the intimidating one. So let's suppose they would like to interact in a normal way (because most people do and very often aren't aware they could even come accross as intimidating) and mentally mitigate or even decline to recognise any power they have over me so we can just interact in a confortable way as the human peers we all are.
The end !
Did anyone read until the end ? ^^ If so have a very nice day ! (and please tell me your thought on my take ! ;) )
11 notes · View notes
seafoamtor · 1 year
Text
Some Surtr (FGO) appreciation
1. I loove how detached Surtr is from the whole ‘humanity as a species’ concept.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ophelia reacts like this is a cheeky comment, but he genuinely cannot tell human’s apart by their faces alone! It’s the whole reason he categorizes Mash as ‘Shield Girl’, he needs some other factors to differentiate them....Mash with her shield, Napoleon with his annoying-ass comments, Ophelia by her eye and their contract...And it makes perfect sense! He never met a human in his life before Ophelia (spent his time guarding Muspelheim with only the Sons of Muspel as its inhabitants, no-one ever visits or leaves, in no small part maybe bc of Surtr sitting guard) much less multiple ones, and only really ‘meets’ other people at Ragnarok when it’s killing time, but even then it’s only Jötnar and the Gods and at the most dead souls but he’s not really involved with fighting them (his one singled out opponent is Freyr, a god, before he starts flinging fire everywhere). Imagine spending your life as a human observing birds and deer and stuff and hunting them a bit, only to suddenly be dropped into the body of an ant and being asked to differentiate between other ants. The dialogue may feel a bit awkward, but you see it further in one of his other conversations with Ophelia:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(And while it’s implied in the logical conjecture, I feel other translations make it a bit more clear that he’s referring to Sigurd’s memories specifically here) Sure, the dialogue itself it probably meant to make a point about ‘oh, women + feelings stereotypes’ but given Surtr’s character as a whole it just comes across as someone who has no familiarity with humans as a species and human society making a really basic observation...Like: analyizing Ophelia’s expression + comparing it to others in the Sigurd database + matches found, categorized as ‘women’ = Ophelia categorized as ‘woman’ -> showing off his ‘I recognize that reference’ game.  (Unrelated, but while my own Japanese skills are not up to the task, if you compare the official translation with some other fantranslations released before it, you can’t help but notice that there are some instances where it seemingly ramped up the whole ‘remember how Ophelia is a woman? Well, so do all the characters and will not talk about anything else’ a bit, yes, also in the case of Surtr)
Also it’s kind of adorable sometimes, okay? Especially when it makes him seem a bit gullible.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
 2. He’s really perceptive, not just a meathead! I’m sure that you’re probably at least in part supposed to put it down to the whole ‘higher existence so automatically knowing and perceiving more about the world’ trend but don’t care didn’t ask. Immediately recognizing not only Mash but also Holmes as something mixed, sneakily mindcontrolling/influencing Ophelia from the beginning (much as I may disagree with the narrative choice itself), noticing the boost from the Counter-Force to Napoleon, trying his best to parse out Ophelia’s emotional state and insecurities despite having the emotional finesse of a teaspoon...
Tumblr media Tumblr media
3. He’s an equal opportunity hater.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Is he wrong? Given just how closely tied together Gods and Humanity are, and how often the conflict is about how the Gods are too controlling and humanity has outgrown them etc., it’s kind of refreshing to have a character that just goes ‘actually both of you suck’.
4. Supportive King!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
‘Did you already know how awesome Ophelia’s mystic eye ist?’; [Ophelia panicking] ‘How is it possible for her to do that?!’ [Surtr immediately explaining how it’s possible for her to do that]
5. Apart from his endgoal (and the whole ‘actually he was influencing her from the start!’ bc that’s stupid) Surtr and Ophelia actually do have a fairly functional working relationship? Yes, Ophelia makes it a point remind him that it’s pure business and not to try and get too chummy (which is one of her primary issues in general, the whole mage-sona vs what she actually wants to do and be), and ‘maybe please don’t just opt for killing everyone?’, but aside from that, fairly often they are in accord? Ophelia tries so hard to act as the restraining influence but as soon as someone annoys her she’s immediately all in for murder, fuck what Skadi said actually:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I mean, this is basically Ophelia wink-wink-nudge-nudging Surtr ‘Hey, don’t kill them. Accidents can always happen, but make sure to at least not kill Mash.’ When Surtr does come to her with genuine complaints and questions about their task she does readily give an explanation; she is ready to acknowledge when she does have to loosen the reins a bit (ie releasing his limiters) and as much as the whole knight-tshtick may be a bit of play-acting for Surtr, he does take the act serious and reigns himself in whenever Ophelia reprimands him (and tries to make up for it, in his way, when he apparently messed up a bit).
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
6. His outdated mode of speech (sometimes a bit lost in translation :(...). Go old man, give us that ‘Alas’! Also just some of the stuff he says in general, big fan of when he does that.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
While it does feel a bit more inconsistent in the official translation there’s still more than enough left to make the point, I feel. Anyway, very much reminded me of this post:
Tumblr media
7. The violence of course. Both how he conceptualizes himself as a being of pure destruction (and isn’t even wrong about that, per se) and how in part flowing from that he’s just ready to start killing at the drop of a hat. Very iconic of him to just cut Holmes in half, bit of a flop that he ultimately wasn’t allowed to kill anyone though :( Give him his enrichment :( Tfw your love language is murder but your mage won’t let you kill...
13 notes · View notes
literatureaesthetic · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
mini reviews || i've been reading so many interesting books recently, here are some thoughts 🖤
⇾ Zami : A New Spelling of my Name // Audre Lorde
Lorde is a feminist, her work orients itself around intersectionality. through relaying her experiences as a queer woman, a black woman, a mother and a daughter, Lorde perfectly reveals the importance of inclusive feminism that adheres to every woman's needs. this was eye opening and impactful, i genuinely think this book should be required reading at schools. literally drop everything and pick this uppp <3 it's also perfect for pride month!!
⇾ Bunny // Mona Awad
Bunny was bizarre, hallucinogenic, it felt like a fever dream. i ADORED the writing (so much so that I immediately bought Awad's latest release, after finishing Bunny). surprisingly, i found this story to actually be extremely multi-layered. on the surface, it's a fun and satirical cult horror. delve a little deeper and you'll find fine-drawn and unique critiques on themes like classism, loneliness, art culture, queer desire. it's one of those novels that you could theorise about for AGES.
i will say, the ending lost me a little? i looved the first half, the last third was slightly too chaotic/messy for me. i'd still recommend, if you're interested!!
⇾ The Wolf of Oren Yaro // K S Villoso
damn, i'm slightly disappointed by this one :/ none of the characters interested me, which is a shame because the synopsis promises the type of main character that i usually ADORE reading about (bitchy main characters lmao), but it unfortunately didn't deliver on that front. rather than a political fantasy following an older, powerful "bitch queen", we get a story where the main character spends the entire book chasing after her awful husband who abandoned her and their son?? 😵‍💫 yeah, i don't think this one was for me
if you're still reading, you're the best <3
26 notes · View notes
Text
Percy Jackson: The Last Olympian first reading thoughts:
-I didnt sleep reading this but it was totally worth it!!
-Danm this was soo good!
-From the start things get heavy, Backendorf's death hurt me way more than I expected.
-I loved the entire part in Poseidon's castle, very interesting (and Tyson is here!)
-Wow Nico has changed so much since the begining (also his powers are very cool)
-To see the story of Luke and his mother uncover was hard to read, so tragic, I was at the verge of tears in many parts.
-It all came full circle, now the things Luke said in the first books make so much sense, you can see what drove him to those extreme ideas.
-And I love how Percy starts to change his inicial perception of things too. That is I think a very admirable part of him. Even if he is a very stubborn boy, he is willing to try and change his mind.
-But even more so Annabeth, she is so empathic despite her critical thinking, and I love that of her. She is truly so wise, even so young she realizes that she needs both the power of the heart AND mind. To almost the last second she holds on to her heart and that doesn't meant she stops being smart.
-Amazing to see the Underworld again, and Hades, and Persephone!
-Achilles's ghost, nice.
-Percy thinking of Annabeth in the river to survive STOP I LOVE THEM (Also dont think I didn't notice him constantly getting distracted with how pretty Annabeth looked)
-Very funny that whole interaction with Demeter, Persephone and Hades, and it was interesting to see how Nico tries to fit in there.
- I really thought we wouldnt get the chance to see Hestia and we did! And I loved how she was represented, as the hope that comes from the concep of home and how that parallels the gods and Olympus being the source of their power.
-I would have liked to see more of the gods fighting Typhon but I I looved the full focus on the battle defending Olympus.
-No, really, that entire battle was soo fricking cool. It took so much of the book and I adored every second. I could feel them getting cornered by Kronos, the progressive tiredness every time a new attack happens.
-Wow so much happens!
-Ok, I think my favorite parts were:
-THALIA!! Gods I missed her, It was so exciting to have her back and fighting.
-The automatons??? How cool is that??
-Percy provoking the Minotaur in such a cocky way, damn my boy has grown.
-Prometheus. Loved everything, such a fun antagonic character.
-Grover and his cool powers with nature turning a titan into a tree, AMAZING
-Percy chasing a gigant flying pig around New York.
-The centaurs coming to the rescue
-Dionysus using a party to manifest, so interesting and cool (nice of him to ask about his son)
-Percy referring to both his mom and Paul as "his parents"
-The battle with the dragon, everything felt so epic. Silena's sacrifice was so tragic, and Clarisse using her anger to kill the dragon, epic.
-"I will kill you ALL! Where is Kronos? Bring him out! Is he a coward?" Damn Clarisse...
-Hades, Demeter and Persephone coming to the fight!!!
-I was kinda hoping Luke could survive, but I guess his death was necessary. It was equally hearbreaking and beautiful. His sacrifice just made everything circle back in a true greek tragedy tale style.
-Again, with the impecable development of Percy. "You are not the hero" *cheff kiss.
-And again, Annabeth understanding eveything before eveyone else.
-To see all the gods reunited again was amazing
-YES GROVER MY BRAVE BOY YOU DESERVE THE WORLD
-And Tyson! I'm so happy for him, (I just hope he never has to actually fight)
-And Annabeth!! My dear girl will be architect of Olympus, I was about to cry, I'm so happy for her.
-Percy, I was not expecting him to ask that to the gods and I love him even more now. I knew some day his ability to defy the gods with a straight face would be used for a greater good. And damn he deliver. Again, everything full circle, what a good ending.
-Rachel is the Oracle now, cool. And I loved to see Apollo there, amazing.
-Another prophecy????
-PERCABETH PERCABETH PERCABETH!!! OMG FINALLY
-I swear they are the most adorable thing ever, the underwater kiss... :')
-Well that was fricking beautiful
-I loved this book and this series with my soul, an aboslute beauty of a story, everything was like a dream come true and I'm so happy I got to read it while I wasnt busy.
-What a journey, loved every second, I felt like a little kid again. 100/10
-You bet I'm reading EVERYTHING else from this franchise.
11 notes · View notes
disaceters-blog · 5 years
Text
You know I'm pathetic when I literally had a dream of petting Feral Boy Marty and dream me was uncontrollably sobbing in happiness.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I just... want him to love me. :(
10 notes · View notes
astral-glass · 3 years
Note
What are all the tf2 ships you ship and how much do you like each one? (Also, which ones do you hate?)
Aight Happy Valentine’s everyone! I’ll give ya my Thots ps: I’m not really a multishipper but I enjoy most of them neutrally :) Ships I actually ship:  - Heavy/medic: ‘OTP’, the go-to, the og. While I don’t draw it much, it’s definitely the pairing I feel the most, and is just perfect. I mean, they’re quite literally built around one another as characters. They’re love is genuine I feel it in my bones. Big tough exterior soft interior smart bear meets his chaotic dom wolf of a bitch who needs bear for impulse control <333 Fave ship - Engie/spy: More of a recent love of mine BUT AHH I’m so deep. They have such a fun and sassy dynamic, and I love opposites attract pfff. The idea of a stuck up Frenchman falling for an American Texan is just gold material all around. They’re both dads too, who are witty and have vastly different styles and even personalities, but man do they mesh well. 2nd Fave ship - Demo/sniper: Swordvan is just...good. Kind of a comfort ship really. Both characters have way more in common than people think, and I love the dynamic they’ve had in the comics! Just let the adopted traumatized nerds have fun and have some laughs with one another! If not romantic, I LOOVE them as buddies too!
- Target Practice: My own ship ofc! I won’t go in depth here since I’ve been posting art everyday, but seeker and sniper have a super tight friendship and their dynamic just....ah. Tis good. Two bisexual idiots explore the world together <333 Ships I like but don’t necessarily ship:
- Soldier/Spy: The funniest shit ever, and also surprisingly cute
- Engie/Sniper: Also quite cute, drinking buddies gone romantic! Really like them more as friends tho
- Sniper/Spy: I know it’s a fandom fave but I just like them as rivals with benefits or just friends. Lots of good content for pair tho
- Soldier/Engie: Helmet party is also cute, but I don’t really see the romantic appeal personally! As always, I love them as friends
- Soldier/Demo: I like these two as best friends so much, that personally I think shipping them kinda takes away from it tbh? Boots n Bombs is valid but these bros are just the best homies.
Ships I hate/just don’t like:
- Sniper/Sc.out: Nothing against ppl who like this ship, I just personally can’t stand it. Lots of bad experiences with it, and I just despise it lol. Won’t go into detail for politeness sake, but yeah miss me with this one, let them just be friends. - Spy/Scout: fuck you
- Scout/Me.dic: Not like...illegal but the difference in powers (and age) just really rubs me the wrong way. Feels predatory, and is often portrayed as such. Same for Scout/heavy or soldier or whatever. He’s baby
- Actually just scout x anyone other than ocs: He’s baby he’s team son I just like him to stay that way : )
- Pyro/anyone: Don’t hate these ships at all, but I see Pyro as aromantic/asexual, and someone who could care less about romance and more about fire :) texas toast is the cuter one tho
- Miss Pauling/ Any Man: Please let her be a lesbian stop erasing her lesbian identity I’m so tired guys.
Everything not mentioned I’m entirely neutral on :))))
88 notes · View notes
Text
I’m A Creep
Fandom: The Messenger Jack x Rin Davies
Word Count: 5k
Warnings: suicide discussion, oral sex, penetration, mention of masturbation, angsty whomp because OOOOF is Jack a Whomp!character
Note: The events of this fic contain spoilers for those of you who havent seen The Messenger.  It takes place after the end of the movie.  Read at your own risk if you haven’t seen it!  If you want it’s free on Tubi :)
Tumblr media
Present Day:
Jack stood beside Rin in the dead of night watching her sleep for just a moment. Only a moment because she roused the instant she sensed him breathe. Sitting up, she quickly reached inside the nightstand. He knew her routine, Rin was impulsive about making sure her leather motorcycle gloves were on before she let him in.
Jack wordlessly pulled his shirt over his head and stepped out of his sweatpants and boxers. 
Rin lifted her covers and opened her legs to him. Obliging, Jack lowered himself onto her showering her neck with kisses. His tongue and lips trailing down along her collarbone, erection hard against her thigh. A hand found its way under Rin’s t-shirt and over a naked breast where he pinched at a nipple. 
“Jack,” she was breathless. “Stop. Don't touch my skin, please.”
Jack pushed himself up by the arms, “How is this enjoyable to you, duck?” A northern term of endearment. “My thighs ah touchin’ you aren't they?” The moonlight caught his eyes as he teased her with the head of his cock. “What about this, inside you?” Suggestively whispered. 
Rin moaned but held her cool. “It’s not the same. Like you said, that's inside. It's just my.. skin. From my..” her voice trailed off. 
“Would it be so bad? I just want to feel you under me without fuckkin clothes.” Jack took a chance and kissed her. Tongue pushing inside of Rin, but she stiffened. “Sweetheart,” now he whispered, just his fingertips brushed her cheek. “Please, love, just touch me”
--------
Several Weeks Before:
Rin sat alone at a center table in the middle of the visitation room.  This wasn’t her first rodeo, probably won’t be her last.  She flexed her hands outwards the leather of her gloves cracking and flexing in a satisfying manner.  No one was going to come and see her. Besides, the solitude allowed her to quietly spy on all the other nutters around the room.
Just to her left Rin noticed a pretty redheaded woman and her son as they sat across from probably the most attractive guy ever in an institution.  There was a tenseness to the way he sat, shoulders hunched and hands between his legs.  His hair unruly and a blank stare that wasn’t really focusing on- she came to realize-  his sister and nephew.  Rin knew him from group therapy where he was equally quiet, eyes glassy from a psych med cocktail.  The majority of his speaking hours tucked away in that overbearing therapist’s office.  
“Jack, will you please just look at me?” his sister, Emma tried her best to reach out to her brother. “I.. I think Martin and I made a mistake.” 
Jack only stared straight ahead between Emma and his nephew, Billy. The preteen looked uncomfortable and scared as his mother nudged him softly. “It's ok. Billy tell Uncle Jack.” 
“I did, Mom” , his voice quiet. “I'm supposed to say no. That you should get me help before it's too late.”  Rin watched as Billy folded his arms and laid his head down. “Only I can't. It's all night and day, Jack. I can't sleep because they don't have you.” 
“Best leave him here with me then, Emma.” It was the first time anyone heard Jack speak in weeks. His sister had a posh accent, so Rin was surprised when Yorkshire dripped from his lips. “For good, right?” 
“That's not fair. You are sick, Jack.  You weren't caring for yourself. You.. you got too involved with that murder. You were hurting yourself,” Emma struggled with tears. “I want to take you home.”
“Oh like I'm some kind of fookin dog? Emma you and Martin made it clear I belong here. She's right, maybe it was all dad. That's traumatic you know.” 
“You deserve someplace warm! A home. Please, Jack. I found this in your things.” She slid a newspaper clipping towards her brother. “That's the boy who drowned. Why.. why didn't you tell me?” 
“Loads of kids drown in pools,” Jack stated bluntly with a shrug. “Why should your pool be any different?” 
“I never said it was our pool.” 
“I recognized the address in the article”
“Jack, it's from two years ago.” 
“I got lucky. Ah we doon here? I have walls to stare at. Here Billy you can have this back,” from between his knees he produced a glass paperweight with a scorpion inside. “Tell all ya mates Crazy Uncle Jack sends his loov” 
Jack tried to stand but Emma grabbed his arm. This was Rin’s cue to swoop in. She swiftly moved from her table to theirs. 
“JACKIE!’ I've been looking for you everywhere!” His eyes panicking in her direction. “I'm Wren,” she took her glove off and reached a scarred hand in Emma's direction. “But my brother couldn't say it so you can call me Rin” She smiled brightly. 
Emma tentatively shook Rin’s hand, smiling in turn.  Rin took a moment as her mind’s eye zoned in on what was inside of Jack’s sister.  It was a loneliness, a desperation to take care of her little brother but protect her son from the same fate.  But most importantly Rin felt a small tingling of warmth from somewhere deep inside of Emma’s heart.  It was white and pure and instantly recognizable as hope.  Even though it was tiny it was growing and starting to spread, and Rin knew Emma was eager to share that with her brother.
“Wow,” Rin blurted, “I wish my brother was as invested in me as you are.  You’re a good person, Emma.  Trust me,” she winked.  “Woman’s intuition.”
Emma narrowed her eyes and studied the crazed looking woman standing between her and Jack.  The scars on Rin’s hand raised some alarms, but Emma ignored them.  She omitted a relief and let go, “Well thank you.  Can you talk some sense into my brother?”
Moments later, with the visitors gone, Rin sat down in Emma’s place.  “Thank you is a start,” she teased Jack. 
He rolled his eyes and slowly turned in her direction to face her dead on.  The intensity of his eyes took Rin by surprise.  “Thank you,” the sarcasm poured like a waterfall.
Rin took off her other glove.  “Now, Mr-”
“Jack is fine.”
“Jack.  Tell me,” Rin feigned a German accent, “Und why do zey sink you are crazy.”   
He blinked slowly.
“You got sectioned.  What bullshit excuse did they force you to believe?  Because it seems like Lovely Emma is desperate to get you out, and we know how hard that is.”
Jack took an impossibly deep breath, “Schizo-effective disorder with some dissociation, post traumatic stress disorder, non-suicidal self injury disorder and depression.”
“Fuck me, that's a trail mix of bonkers. Now ask me” 
Jack closed his eyes. They were shut for so long that Rin was certain he had fallen asleep having given in to his meds. His hunched, thin body sort of folded a bit in on itself. A moment of possible self-soothing when he started to sway. 
“Jack?” Rin's tone fell quietly with concern. She poke his arm carefully avoiding touching the skin. “Darling what cocktail did these quacks put you on.” She was an expert after all these years; if the drugs were working, no way would he be this much of a zombie.
Green blank eyes hidden behind enviable eyelashes attempted to focus “Seroquel. Clozapine?” His words start to slur a bit. “Fine. How fucking barmy are you?”
“Well,”  the young woman softened, “I have suicidal ideations with self-injury tendencies myself, severe clinical depression, a bit of the old borderline personality disorder and wait for it..”  she practically whispered a few inches from Jack’s face, “total emotional attachment to partners.”  
The skin around Jack’s eyes crinkled as he squinted just enough to indicate his hazed brain was trying to process everything Rin just unloaded. His lips parted to speak but he paused resulting in a gobsmacked expression.  “You’re barking.”
“Says the sexy scarecrow with journo clippings of dead boys.”  Rin pursed her lips and crossed her arms, “Why are you really in here Jack.”
“I’m fucking mad.” It was matter of fact.
“To quote the Cheshire Cat, we’re all mad here, love.  Look at me,” she held her hands aloft to display gnarled and prominent scars covering both hands in their entirety.  “I developed a gift or two by primary school.  See I can touch a person, and I know what they are feeling.  Except it.. It goes deeper than that.  I can PICTURE their true selves.  It’s a bit overstimulating, but no one can lie to me.  Not really.  Doesn’t do much for my sex life.  Or lack of one really.  Honestly, you put a cock in your mouth only to find out the guy you’re with is fantasizing about slitting your throat and wanking in your blood.”
Jack shook his head, “Jesus christ.”
“Well yes! My parents were religious zealots, right?  They got wind of my gifts.  Tried to use me in the church, but I rebelled.  Long story short, darling Mumsy and Papa decided if they may be stuck my hands in boiling grease I wouldn’t be able to use it anymore.  It’s not in my hands though.  It’s in my skin,” Rin smiled almost pleasantly. “Sometimes I get a bit over the edge.  I stop shielding myself from the pure air around folks, I suffocate in it.  Then,” now she held out her wrists, “I have my little accidents.”
Jack’s mouth hung agape.  His brows furrowed in confusion, “You are off you’re fucking nut.”
“That’s all relative.  Now, you can tell me why they REALLY sectioned you.  What power or ability are they masquerading as mental illness, or I can find out my way.”  Rin shrugged. 
“Why the fuck do you care?  I’m sleeping at night.  I have food and a bed and a shower.”
“Und electro-shock zerapy, und coma inducing psychopharmaceuticals, und most importantly you has lost your voice und a chance to harness your ability correctly.”  that mock German accent again.  “You shouldn’t be here, Jack.  Emma certainly doesn’t think so, and neither do I.  You’re special.  Or that bitch shrink wouldn’t have made you the living dead.”
Jack snorted followed by a rather loud.  “Just fuck off. Fuck off.  Fuck off.  FUCK OFF!” he screamed in Rin’s face.  Not once did she flinch, arms crossed again in a challenge. Disgusted by her, Jack kept bellowing his words thick with anger and cotton from the meds, “I DON'T BELONG OUT THERE EITHER!  I DON'T BELONG IN HERE!  I DON’T FUCKING BELONG ANYWHERE. HE’S DEAD.  SHE’S DEAD.  EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF THE CUNTS IS DEAD!  DEAD DEAD DYING!  JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” 
He shot up out of the chair to leave, but Rin caught his large hand.  Skin to skin, hands so small together they barely covered just his one.  Instantly her body stiffened as she gasped for air.  Tears immediately stung her eyes as she crammed them shut.  There in her mind was just a large body of water.  Ocean waves crashed overhead as she sank far below the surface.  Dark, cold, horrifying that sensation of being drowned.  Rin choked on the last bit of oxygen in her lungs and started to suffocate.  The hand she held brought her mind’s eye around to opening under the water to see Jack floating near-motionless in front of her.  It took all of her strength to push against the tide towards him where she held his face in her hands.  Death and decay flashed above them, the dead peering down from boats just waiting for Jack to return to the surface.
Rin strained to convey that tiny bit of hope Emma had passed along to her earlier as she pressed her forehead into Jack’s in the icy deep.  There was no reason in particular that she was drawn to him.  Not in the hospital or here trying to save him from drowning slowly. Was he attractive, undoubtedly, but that wasn’t all or it. Maybe it was now that she knew he was a messenger, a harbinger of death.  That was itself a form of an empathic gift.  Or it was just compassion. 
Suddenly Jack’s eyes burst open.  In that languid way your body moves underwater, he pushed her away.  His arms and legs thrashed around in a panic as if he only just realized he was allowing this place to kill him.  There was an instant loss, and Rin’s inner self slammed into a brick wall.  The physical Jack had severed the connection between her body and his.  To resurface that suddenly forced Rin gulping in blessed oxygen that she never really lost.  It was an illusion, where the two of them had been.  He really had shoved her back though, she realized that now.  Storming out of the visitation center, Jack left Rin alone to cry.
--------
Several days later
Rin lounged against the wall outside of Jack’s room with her gloves firmly in place.  Patients weren’t SUPPOSED to fraternize outside of the common rooms, but Rin had been here a few times before.  She knew which orderlies and nurses to finess, and which to avoid.  In this case Jerry was the giant, affable St Bernard of a man that kept watch in this particular hallway.
“Wren back so soon?” he teased. “What are you doing hanging around the human handbook for the recently deceased?” 
“Delightful, Jer.  How is he?  I mean really.” Rin hooked her thumb in the direction of the room.
“Easiest patient I’ve dealt with on account of he rarely speaks, pops his meds and keeps to himself.  Gave us a bit of a row when he first got here, but I like the guy.  I don’t know what to believe though.  His sister’s been sniffing around administratives.”  The orderly shrugged his massive shoulders.  “Heard you took quite the piss on visitation day.”
“I didn’t take the piss!” 
“Did ya do your handsy thing,” Jerry made jazz hands.
Rin’s eyes almost rolled back in her head, but suddenly there was a figure in the doorway which caused her to jump.  “How about we don’t talk about the nutter like he isn’t 10 feet away and only 27 years old?” Jack insisted.  His arms crossed and shoulders sagged in their usual way.  
“Can we talk?”  
Before Jack could truly answer, Rin had already pushed past him and sat down on his bed.  His mouth hung somewhat agape before he eventually joined her.  Jack attempted to sit close, just for some human contact, but the young woman beside him shied away.
“Right,” a retort.  “You’ve started being just as bloody fucking annoying as they were.”
Startled, “Who?”
“You know those.. Schizo delusions I’m here for.”
“The dead?”
Jack’s green eyes narrowed and Rin knew there was a sarcastic remark just sitting there waiting to be released.  Instead he curled his posture as if he was trying to fold in on himself.  Make himself smaller, less noticeable.  “Dissociations sparked by my father’s suicide.”
“Psycho babble bullshit jargon.  Congratulations, you’ve become a parrot.”  Rin waved her hand, “Jack has anyone ever-.”  There was a hesitation.  
“Has anyone ever what? Go on, enlighten me then”
Rin started stripping her gloves off but thought better of it.  A sense of foreboding, of drowning and clutching her chest for hair flashed across her mind.  The loneliness emanated from Jack without her touch. That empathic conduction of her skin.  Reaching instead to place the soft leather against his cheek, her thumb brushed his bottom lip.  Her eyes searched for him in that moment where time stood still before a mouth replaced a thumb.  
To not only Rin’s surprise but his own, Jack didn’t recoil.  His body relaxed as instinct took hold. There was a fervor in hands that got tangled up in hair.  Tongues fought each other as arms made their way around bodies in an embrace.  They held one another tight, the desperation apparent.  
The spell broke when Jack laid Rin down on the bed and let his warm mouth trail down her neck. He was awkward and hungry like a teenager.  He fumbled around her chest to attempt massaging her breast. 
A snort came from Rin simply to hide the panic of rushing water when Jack’s lips came into contact with her skin.  Maybe hers found it easier to beg off that inner eye from opening, but now she didn’t have a choice.  They weren’t as deep with the surface just rippling only a few inches away.  
Before she started to lose oxygen again, Rin began to squirm.  “ Stop.  Please?”
Jack sat up and faced forward as if nothing had transpired.  His cheeks flushed and a hand tugged at his tee-shirt embarrassingly then stuffed between his legs. He blinked a few times as he breathing calmed. 
“I only came to ask you if anyone had ever shown you affection.  Held you.  Emma.. Emma”  Rin inhaled deeply as she forced Jack to hold her glove hand.  “I know she sort of longs to hug you.”  Back on his cheek to make him look at her. “Obviously I got my answer,” she laughed. 
Jack silently replied by pushing his forehead into Rin's.  They laid down again this time with their heads on his pillow legs and arms tangled up in each other. Jack nuzzled the edge of his nose into the skin behind her ear; her breath caught. Then the couple seemingly melted together.
“Jack you seem less-” fingers twisted up in his curls.
“Like a walking coma patient?” hand gripped the thick of her thigh.  Then reaching a shelf above Rin Jack seized one of those creepy glass paperweights housing a floating tarantula. Turning it over underneath to show a tiny white envelope. “I started hiding my meds. Pass them along to my sister when she visits.”
Just under the surface of the water, still struggling for air exploded before Rin's eyes. Perhaps she had passed something between Emma and Jack. Was it her own faith that was transmitted to him? That first touch that woke him up after all this time. 
The next few weeks became a game of trial and error. Of how little or much Rin and Jack could consume of each other.  Kissing was no longer an issue once the meds began to wear off, lips and tongues and mouths. It felt more like standing ankle deep in a bathtub. Warm and comforting; it was Jack that was overpowering.  
Eager to make up for a very long very lost amount of time. He stumbled along Rin's body uneasily because of how little clothing she removed at first. Not that he was in a rush to reveal what was underneath his oversized shirt and sweatpants. He wasn’t the one recoiling when the stimulation overwhelmed.  
“I'll take off my shirt. Touch me here, but where the fabric of my bra is. Tease the nipple with just your fingertips. No that's.. maybe under? Touch them. Oh God. Now your mouth. Right there.  Are you.. you took your shirt off too?” (She marveled at how defined, muscular Jack's body seemed despite his slight stature)   
Jack took initiative now and slid his fingers inside of Rin. He pumped them a few times guided by her ``Oh.. maybe you can touch me.. Do you feel.. It’s like a bud or a kernel.. Here let me.. It’s just right.. OH GOD.  Right like.. ”   And she would ride his hand and fingers that circled that bud.  
Rin would cry out in surprise.  Her body exploded in ecstasy. They weren't drowning anymore. Just swimming, bobbed under the water and surface. It was the sense-memory of suffocating, coupled with the dazzling pleasure of Jack's warm tongue as it teased her nipples, his strong fingers teasing her clit at the same time. His hot skin meshed with hers washed out by fear.  She apologized as they scrambled to arrange themselves. 
“Don't think I'm going anywhere for quite some time, my love.”  His words changed with the possessive my in lieu of the once meaningless sentiment. He would steal a chaste kiss from Rin whose cheeks flushed to match his own as he made that familiar adjustment between his legs.  In the future, Rin would come to him without a bra but reluctant to take her shirt off when Jack kept on never minding.
Jerry became an ally of sorts. He always had been on Rin's side after she read him her second section. It wasn't difficult to get him to believe in Jack's abilities. Staff has whispered down the corridors that Jack had suddenly found himself aware of a suicide attempt.  That dead reporter Emma mentioned, his fiancé had taken more pills than Rin ever fathomed any number of her attempts. (She had a flare for dramatics: slit wrists) Jerry mentioned Jack had a tantrum the likes of a toddler screaming the name Sarah whatever over and over, pounding his fists into his head to make whatever haunted him. Sure enough, this Sarah was found nearly having bled out and foaming at the mouth. 
“How would he even fucking know, poppet? Not unless Jack really was chatting up her dead fiancé “ As if that was all he needed, Jerry turned his back and caused distractions all the nights the Empath and her Beautiful Broken Man longed to be together.
It was stunning the way Jack learned to manipulate the system.  Only Rin, and reluctantly Jerry, knew he pocketed his meds.  Safely tucked away in those ugly arachnid globes in the pockets or purse of Billy and Emma.  He started talking more in group therapy and far less in private sessions.  Engaged in conversations with his sister and nephew, true ones that resulted in a simple smile or a laugh free from a facetious tone.  To the staff and doctors those fucking psychopharmeceuticals worked.  To Jack’s sister and nephew and whatever Rin was to him, there was a slowly lifting weight making the air around him lighter. Yet Rin kept her hands to herself.
More trial and error.  In the midst of fervent kisses, Rin took Jack in her hand.  A stroke or two was all she got in before he spasmed and came.  The mortification that flashed in his eyes as he curled in a fetal position between her and the wall while she whispered reassurances in his ear.  Touching him, caressing him and eventually taking him into her mouth became easier and longer with practice and patience.  
They laughed into each other’s mouths before Rin let her tongue trail down over his stomach. Anxiously Jack took off his pants and boxers, lying backwards.  He held the back of her head, moaned and twisted as she licked and sucked on him. His hips bucked and thrust upwards.  
-------------------
Present Day, Again
“Would it be so bad? I just want to feel you under me without fuckin clothes.” Jack took a chance and kissed Rin. Tongue pushed inside of her, but she stiffened. “Sweetheart,” now he whispered,  just his fingertips brushed her cheek. “Please, love, just touch me?”
Rin took a moment to think.  He wasn’t drowning anymore.  She could push that old feeling out of her third eye and bury herself in new ones.  She took a hold of her shirt and tossed it on the floor.  She took the erection that twiced against her thigh and held it just outside of her pulsating and ready sex.  With hands that sunk into her vunerable skin, Jack buried himself inside of her. 
That fire from Emma all that time ago poured from Jack’s body into hers.  It pushed back the water as he pumped rhythmically into Rin.  Building into a frenzy quickly, his pelvis crashed into hers before she could really come around to what was happening.  It briefly conquered the fears from before; caused hot tears to spring to her eyes that flowed uncontrolled down her cheeks.
In his fervor, Jack noticed and bent to kiss them away.  The gesture she had made that first time, a thumb brushed across her cheek and lower lip as he slowed his pace. Wren,” he took to calling her that tentatively.  “What is it?”
Before she could answer, Jack became distracted by something in the corner of the room.  Eyes passed between Rin and whatever it was that she couldn’t fathom or see.  She took his chin and focused it on her as they crashed together and apart again in another wave of building friction. It was too late though, he had abruptly pulled out and away from her. 
“NO!  STOP!  LEAVE ME ALONE!  CAN’T I HAVE ONE MOMENT OF FUCKING HAPPINESS WITHOUT ONE OF YOU LOOMING OVER ME LIKE A FUCKING PERV.”  He used fists to beat out a rhythm on his temples as he scurried to the corner of his bed with knees up to his chest.  
In the frenzy, Rin had been knocked to the floor.  Jerry had rushed in, he was never too far away just in case.  In a whirlwind, he picked Rin up with one hand and with the other attempted to intervene between Jack's fists and his head.  What could either of them do?  If attention was drawn to the room, surely the doctors would realize Jack had gone unmedicated for weeks.  Jerry’s eyes wide gestured towards Rin’s hands.  She shook her head, but Jack carried on.  
“Go on Jenny Wren, there has to be something your hands can do.  I’ll lose my job and you’ll be separated.  They’ll put him back in the Zoo.”  He was already yanking her arms forward and trying to remove her gloves before she could consent.
Rin knew The Zoo. It being rooms that could be monitored with two way mirrors.  You got a bed and a blanket.  They controlled when the lights came on and when they turned them off.  No privilege, no real structure.  They fed you, bathed you, and gave you “playtime” when they said.  No matter how you suffered from mental illness no one deserved that. She would never forgive herself.
“JERRY LET ME DO IT MYSELF!”  Rin bellowed if only to out yell Jack and his fit.  “Make her go away!  LEAVE ME ALONE” he cried underneath her.  Her hands free, she flexed them a few times before joining Jack on the bed.  She clutched his forearms and struggled to get a grip enough to pull them away from self-harm.  “JACK!  YOU HAVE GOT TO FUCKING STOP, MY DARLING.”  She slid her hands over his temples before he could punch them anymore.  She used the heels of her palms and pressed.  
It was immediate, the way her mind opened to him.  This time he was floating along the tide in a boat surrounded by what Rin could only guess were dead people.  They grabbed and tugged on Jack’s clothes.   Rin sat on the other side from him between two oars; she used one to swat at the ghosts who tried to pull them back in.  But there, walking along the surface, was a beautiful young woman.  Blonde hair flowed in waves down her back.  Sarah.
“You said we would be together, Jack.”  She was angry.  “That’s what you told him when he warned you I overdosed.  I survived that attempt, but not the second one.  Where is he Jack?  Why isn’t he here waiting for me?”
Jack stood up and the boat began to dangerously rock. Rin took his hand and he squeezed it in return.  He bellowed at the dead woman, “YOU SURVIVED AND HE MOVED ON.  I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU BEING FUCKING STUPID, SARAH.  WHAT I TOLD YOU WAS MEANT TO EASE YOUR GUILT.  HE LOVED YOU.  YOU WERE SO LOVED.  HE DIDN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR MISTAKES.  YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME ALONE.  ALL OF YOU.  I’M FUCKING DONE.  MOVE ON.  GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.  I CAN’T BE THE ONLY ONE OF MY KIND.  AND FUCK OFF BILLY TOO, MATE.”
“Jack?”  Rin spoke softly.  The hands gripped her tight in place of him.  They started to pull her in with him because he was useless now.  He stood up to them for possibly the first time in twenty years.  They would take her instead then.  
Jack seized Rin’s body before she could go over in his place.  He held her fast and tight and shielded her from them.  “NO.  You don’t fucking get ANYONE I love.  Not Billy.  Not Emma.  Not Martin.  No Wren or Rin.  AND YOU DON’T FUCKING GET ME ANYMORE.”  He took the oar up in his free hand and swung it around the bodies in the water.  He jabbed it forward like a sword at Sarah still pacing the side of the boat.  “GO, SARAH.  HE’S WAITING FOR YOU.  I PROMISE THIS TIME”  Jack insisted and pleaded.
Then it was so silent it deafened both Jack and Rin as they clung to one another in the boat.  In a flash and explosion, they separated and landed back on the bed in the room in an institution.  Jerry panted and pawed at the two of them dazed and uncertain.  Jack blinked a handful of times with no recollection of what just took place in his head and Rin’s.  They never knew or remembered Rin had learned.
Jack scoured the room for any sign of Sarah or anyone else.  He rubbed his eyes a few times then sighed heavily.  “I.. I want to go back to my room now.”  It was matter of fact.  
Jerry nodded and helped him back into his clothes.  Jack stumbled a bit but managed to kiss Rin sweetly before being led away and down the hall.  Rin knew Jerry would probably give him something to help him sleep at least for the night and probably into tomorrow.  She was afraid Jack had woken up a second time.  Not just from his nightmare of the last twenty years, but whatever happened between them.  It was a price she had to pay sometimes when she helped.  There was something Rin longed to say earlier.  What made her cry was an ember somewhere deep inside of Jack that he had never experienced before.  For the first time in his life, he had hope.
58 notes · View notes
moonsbeta · 3 years
Text
🎵Music Shuffle Tag🎵
Pick a media player of your choice, put your liked songs on shuffle, and see which song answers the following!
Tagging these cuties: @evannotoven @winwxn @jiminieloved aand anyone who comes across this… ENJOY! 💖
YOU DON’T HAVE TO ADD COMMENTARY JUST THE SONG! I added some comments for @dandyvespa (the creator of this tag!!) just to be more fun hahaha
1. The song that plays when you go bungee jumping
As The World Caves In - Matt Maltese
Lolll that would be the saddest bungee session, I would be crying cause of this song! But also it’s such a good song so maybe it would be a vibe!
2. The song that plays at your wedding.
Hey Lover! - Wabie
That’s soooo cute, I actually LOVE this! Imma have to add that to the wedding playlist if I ever get married!
3. The song that plays when you’re having an existential crisis.
Hey Jude - The Beatles
Well... that would probably be fitting. A childhood favorite of mine for an existential crisis sounds about right.
4. The song that plays when you are time traveling.
iT’s YoU - Zayn
Such a good song, I can’t even describe how much I love all the sounds in it. What an iconic song to time travel to.
5. The song that plays when you run away from a murderer.
everythinggoes - RM
Nooooo, not my comfort sad/depressing song!!
6. The song that plays when you pass all the cliques in your school/college/work.
Son of Flynn - Daft Punk
Oh HELL YES! This song gets me fucking hyped like nothing else! When I tell you this is probably one of the songs/thing that singlehandedly changed my life the most!
7. The song that plays when you are getting high/drunk.
Pluto Projector - Rex Orange County
Damn, another of my crying session songs. Honestly would be down to get high and listen to this song, that’s sounds like such a nice vibe. Maybe even throw in some stargazing!
8. The song that plays when you are stuck on an island and trying to survive.
ON - BTS
Well then I’m definitely surviving! That is my PUMP UP song! Nothing hits like ON does!
9. The song that plays when you’re part of a car chase.
Forgive Me - Chloe x Halle
That would a pretty fun ride! I can already imagine the city lights speeding past me lol
10. The song that plays when you binge on a bunch of junk foods.
Leave The Door Open - Silk Sonic
Ohhhh that would be such a jamming session! I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this song, so binge eating to this song is an 11/10!
11. The song that plays when you serve your time in prison.
Судно - Molchat Doma
Now that sounds like a movie scene omggg, that’s iconic!
12. The song that plays when someone you love dies.
forever rain - RM
Oh wooow my heart just broke, this song already gets me but paired with your scenario owww.
13. The song that plays during your training montage.
Sign of the Times - Harry Styles
That would either be the saddest training montage or the most deep.
14. The song that plays when you shoot arrows while riding a horse.
Starman - David Bowie
It’s like sci-fi meets ya fantasy with this one.
15. The song that plays when you’re on a mystic adventure in an RPG.
Say So - Doja Cat
Why is this one so funny to me! That would be such a banger of an adventure! I see it being in like animated form!
16. The song that plays when you are getting driven around the city in a limo.
Take Me Home - ATEEZ
I fuckkk yes! This song already gives me night time Miami vibes so I would be so down to a drive in a limo sticking my head out with this song! Especially with the sax part 😩🤌🏻
17. The song that plays when you’re on a road trip with friends.
Elephant Gun - Beirut
Oh wow this one made me emotional! I honestly can’t think of a better road trip song than this one! Filming it like an old vhs tape footage, with the graining film!
18. The song that plays when you see your senpai under the cherry blossoms.
Tokyo Drift - Teriyaki Boyz
IM DYING! This one is the FUNNIEST! Oml this would be so cool tho, I picture them being a racer and with this song *chefs kiss!
19. The song that plays when you’re giving birth.
Mr Loverman - Ricky Montgomery
Okay this is lowkey cute!
20. The song that plays when you are trying to crack into a building with tight security.
Magic Works - Jarvis Cocker etc.
Wait why does this actually work! I can totally see this!! The way that I love this song, like I get surprised with how good it is every time I hear it!
21. The song that plays when you are dancing in the rain.
Fresh Laundry - Allie X
Hold up this is actually great! It gives that eerie vibe to it! Like dancing on the street with just a streetlamp lighting you while it’s pouring!
22. The song that plays when you are in a zombie apocalypse.
right here - keshi
I loove this song and this would honestly kind of fit the vibe?!
23. The song that plays when you are doing a surgical procedure.
Nocturne in E Flat Major, Op. 9 No. 2: II. Andante (E Flat major)
Now that’s some boss shit! Hahaha made me feel like I’m in a cinematographic movie with the incision blade at my finger tips hahaha
24. The song that plays when you’re in an elevator with quiet and awkward strangers.
Restless - BIBI
At that point if this song comes on I would just be ~vibing~ this song is so smooth and pretty! It makes me feel like I’ve fallen in love (probably with her cause she’s so gorgeous and talented)
• Sorry this took so long!! It was sitting in my drafts for so long and I finally finished it right now! I really enjoyed doing it! <3
9 notes · View notes
cherry-ber · 4 years
Text
“You’re a little much for me”
A.N: So i disappeared for a month again and I honestly don’t know what I’m doing
Pairing: Lee Taeyong x female reader (I’m sorry i literally couldn’t avoid the pronouns) kinda Jaehyun but ???
Genre: ANGST kinda but idk if it should be called that 
Warning: I know I said it was angst but really I just wrote words so it’s actaully very bad. Mentions of a dependant relation, smoking, but i didn’t develop any of it properly. Not readproof but i needed to psot something tbh.
Plot: I honestly don’t even know what the fuck i did here but Taeyong gives too much of himself for the girl he loves even when she won’t see. (None of this makes sense, actually, but pretend it made you sad somehow idk don’t read this rly)
Tumblr media
Tears fell from her cheeks as she walked back home. Her feet hurt inside her shoes, she purposely wore them to look better even though she regretted it as soon as she walked a mile. Clouds gattered threatening to rain when she less expected it. Her heart ached in a particular way, and for a moment she really thought she might die from sadness. 
Around her, groups of people walked together, laughing and couples would pass her by holding hands. Her hands were shaking as she looked for a cigarette in her purse, and took the lighter out of her pocket. She promised herself she wouldn’t smoke again, but that wouldn’t be the first promise she had broken today. Her phone rang, a text message from someone that she wouldn’t want to hurt by replying in a bad mood. 
She felt dumb crying in the streets, grateful that she made everyone too uncomfortable to ask if everything was alright. The truth was that she wasn’t, she felt her life was falling apart, piece by piece, knowing perfectly well all that she was doing wrong, yet unable to do something to fix it. She felt like she was spiraling down to hit rock bottom, and she was hoping that as soon as she did, she’d have enough strenght to overcome what was going on. 
Usually, she would call her boyfriend, but he was exactly the problem. Jaehyun was an amazing friend, beloved by her friends and family, a caring human and the best son to his parents, but he didn’t know how to be an okay boyfriend. He wasn’t a bad person, but he didn’t know how to be good to her. 
He’d often excuse himself saying that settling down wasn’t in his plans, but he tried for her, and he expected her to understand and forgive him when he screwd up because she was a lot to deal with, like today, when she found him kissing another lady, she felt her heart breaking when he saw her too and played the “I didn’t mean you to see this and I’m sorry for that” card that he had use too much before followed by “I can’t handle you sometimes so it’s okay for me to do this”. She knew she loved him too much, she knew that he had hurted her too much this time, though. 
“You know what? I literally can’t stand you this days, it’s not my fault you’re dependant, I don’t even love you anymore, I just can’t leave you because maybe you’ll kill yourself and then I’ll be the bad guy”
“You’re already the bad guy, Jaehyun” “I’m not, you’re overwhelming, you’re too much, I don’t know how I’ve been dealing with your shit for so long” Deffinitely not what you’d want to hear from your boyfriend of 3 years, but deep down she felt sorry for him, he was right, she was overwhelming, she was annoying and she was a little too much for anyone, even for herself, sometimes. 
The phone rang again, you noticed it was a call and hesitantly picked it up. 
“Can  I see you tonight?”
“I’m not in the mood tonight”
“Please” he was pouting on the other side of the line “I’m outside already”
She ran as fast as she could, knowing that he never joked about being outside, not wanting him to be alone when it was about to pour, It was funny how much she cared about others too much, even when she wouldn’t care about herself. At least she knew he cared about her too, he was the person he truted the most. 
Taeyong could read her like a book, he knew every breath of hers meant something, he knew something was wrong just by the way she walked, even when she greeted him with a wide smile. And she knew that he could never hide anything from him, she knew he would always be there for her, so pretending that everything was fine was pointless, she broke down when they were infront of eachother, he gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead. Her teardrops wetting his clothes enough to mistake them from the raindrops, that couldn’t chose a more dramatic moment to fall. After a moment she was able to take her keys and they came into her cold apartment, the only thing that made that place be cozy, though, was her presence.  “You smell like cigs again” He looked concerned, she quitted smoking some months ago, and they were both proude, it was sad that she went back to it again “Do you want to talk it out?”
“Not really” she boiled some water for tea and brought cookies to him “It was awful, it tastes like shit, I don’t miss it at all” 
“I’m glad you don’t” he hated to ask but he knew he had to “How was your date?”
Her eyes watered immediately at the scene of him with someone else, and she didn’t want to hear what Taeyong had to say about it. 
“It was alright, I  guess”
“Good”
He felt awkward around her, no matter how cool he played it, he was weak for her smile, he could’t help his heart from beating too fast when she spoke, he knew how to hide it from her, but everyone else could notice the way he felt, even her boyfriend, which was the main reason that they hated eachother. 
“Can we go to my room and cuddle?” Sometimes she left him speechless, for a long time he wondered if she knew and that was the reason that she gave him mixed signals, but he came to the realization that she was too nice to ever do that, she was just too friendly “Or whetever, honestly, I could use some sleep”  “I was planning on watching this movie I got recommended, but sure” he followed her to her room, she crawled into the bed and patted next to her, when he layed next to her, he felt joyful and it took her a little to fall asleep. Taeyong felt complete next to her, he wanted to have her like that forever, and he wondered how many times Jaehyun had the chance to sleep with her before, bitter again because he knew he’d never have her. 
It only took him five minutes to fall asleep too, only to be woken up by her phone ringing like crazy. She stood up and picked up too quickly when she read it was Jaehyun calling. 
“I’m sorry, babe, I shouldn’t have say that, you know I loove you”
“I love you too, Jae”
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow and make it up to you, how about that?” 
She knew, somehow, he was with someone else, she could feel it, she knew he meant nothing of what he was saying, but she decided to believe it anyway”
“You’re the best, I’ll see you tomorrow”
Those words shouldn’t have hurted Taeyong as much as they did, but it happened every time, she’d be “over him” and he’d think about confessing, and then Jaehyun would call her, because he was just as dependant as she was, he was too selfish to let her go, but not interested on her at all. Jaehyun liked to know he’d have her whenever he wanted to, without doing much to have her, he liked knowing someone needed him as much as she did, somehow. 
Taeyong loved too hard, and he knew he was unable to move on, he knew he’d always love her, no matter how many times she made him feel like he was not enough. It was funny how he got hurted everytime but he came back for more, that’s why he couldn’t blame her for loving Jaehyun too much. He wondered if she’d move on the day he would move on, too. 
**********************************************************
A.N: I DONT KNOW HOW TO USE TUMBLR ON A COMPUTER HELP . I’ll edit whatever needs to be edited, I wasnt able to add the song but of course “Liability” was playing while i was tying to write something-
61 notes · View notes
benwaitingforsolo · 4 years
Text
only the beginning - charlie barber x reader fluff (REPOST)
when i looked at this on my phone, the paragraphs would be switched around and i hate when my stuff has typos/or incorrect formatting, so here is a repost of @cas-backwards-tie​‘s request
request from @cas-backwards-tie​ : “Hi​! I saw your post about requests and was wondering if maybe you could write a post about Charlie x Reader buying a house together? Like maybe they're moving in and showing Henry where they're gonna live and (maybe) start their own little family? Please and thank you”
warnings: female reader, mention of pregnancy, fluff
Tumblr media
"It's this one, with the red brick and white patio." Charlie pointed, his eyes stuck on the road.
Not looking up from the toys in his hands, Henry asked, "Does it have a big yard? We never had a yard in New York."
"It does! I made sure of it," you answered, looking back at him.
After Charlie pulled in, he hurried around the car to open Henry's and your doors. "Honey, can you leave the toys in here? The house is big and empty, and I don't want you to lose them." Charlie asked as he unbuckled his son.
"Charlie," you sang, "it'll be alright, else is he going to do while we're here? Appreciate the baseboards and built-in cabinets?"
Henry laughed at the fact the house was unlocked by a secret code but took it incredibly seriously when his Dad told it to him.
"I like this place already, Dad. The walls aren't a boring color like the last apartment." Henry complimented, tracing his hands on the walls.
Charlie fingered through a pile of papers for the house and responded, "That place was dull, wasn't it? If you want, and you have to think very carefully about it, we can paint your room whatever color you want."
"I can?!" He asked excitedly.
"You can! Do you want to come see it with me while your Dad does some lame adult-things?" You asked, combing your fingers through Henry's mop of hair. Over the past months, he grew comfortable with you around, understanding the new arrangement of his Mom, Dad, and their partners.
Henry nodded, and the two of you ran up the stairs. You showed him where your room would be, the bathroom with a shower and a tub, the hall closet, and most importantly, his room.
The whole house was empty, but seeing you and Henry in it made Charlie feel whole. "Babe? Henry? Where are you?"
You and Henry giggled in your hiding spot. Little did Charlie know, you fought for this house because of the hidden crawlspace in Henry's closet. It was an easy sell for Charlie, though, as it was equidistant from his work and Nicole's place, making his new co-parenting life easier.
"Hiding!" You yelled out, hoping not to give your position away.
The two of you heard Charlie's groaning as he looked for you. "There's no furniture for you to hide in? Where the hell are you?"
"We should probably get out of here before Dad throws a fit," Henry admitted.
Agreeing, you climbed out first to catch Henry as he wiggled out.
"There you two are." Charlie was relieved when he saw you and Henry looking out of the window of Henry's room. "Henry, I brought a book of paint colors if you want to look through it." You always admired how great a parent Charlie was, talking at his eye level, always giving his everything to him, among more.
You held Charlie's hand and kissed his shoulder chastely as he kissed your temple.
"Did you look in the other bedroom yet?" You asked, leading Charlie out of Henry's room.
Charlie looked a bit puzzled, not getting when you were talking about, because when you came to see the house for the first time, the spare room was set up as an office. "You mean our room?"
"Nope." You used your freehand to turn the handle of the room you didn't show Henry. "This one."
After you opened it, Charlie stepped into the smaller bedroom, he stood in place and turned in a circle since there wasn't a lot of walking space in the room. He paused when he saw an already-built crib flush against the wall. "This wasn't here last time." He said, confused.
"I know. I had it delivered a few days ago." 
Immediately, Charlie knew what this meant. You watched as his eyes grew in size and started to well up with tears. "You're pregnant?"
"I am." You smiled as Charlie took you into his arms. He kissed you tenderly, typically his kisses were ferocious and hungry, but with your news, he was gentle. You broke the kiss and rested your forehead on his. "I know it's early, but I wanted to surprise you."
Charlie's hands rested on your lower belly, which showed no signs of difference, but it didn't matter. "I hate moving, but this makes me excited to make this place ours."
"Then we better do that soon Mr.Barber. I'm not sure how much help I'll be in a few months." You teased, trailing your fingers up his long arms.
Your lips met Charlie's once again, this time with less hesitation. Emotions ran through you, and you weren't sure if it was from the change in hormones, the adrenaline of your news, or the excitement of the house. Regardless, you and Charlie didn't mind, because it was only the beginning of your story. 
Tumblr media
this is me when i kept trying to fix the paragraphs and it just wouldn’t do what i wanted. 
thanks again @cas-backwards-tie​ ! i couldn’t sleep so i wrote this, and i looved it so much. 
36 notes · View notes