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#lose weight

Had a bit more food than I would have liked today. I’m pretty sure I ended the day at around 1200 because I walked 13000 steps today which was the most I have ever been able to walk ( when you’re heavy even this much is cool) weighing in today at 175.4 so I’m down 6 lbs from 181. Very happy about that but I am scared that I will gain because of what I had tonight. It’s my fault tho if I do and I’ll have to live with that.

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I LOOKED SO SKINNY AND SEXY EARLIER TODAY LIKE… MY STOMACH WAS SO FLAT…LIKE REALLY REALLY FLAT. LIKE INSTAGRAM FLAT. WHY DIDN’T I JUST FAST OR IDK…NOT EAT OVER MY LIMIT??? I LITERALLY FORCED MYSELF TO EAT MORE…I WASN’T HUNGRY. FML.

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Today’s meal

2. 12. 2020

Breakfast: coffee (40 calories)

Lunch: skipped

Dinner: strawberry oatmeal (240 calories)

Snack: small kinder egg (35 calories), popsicle rocket (82 calories)

= 397 calories


Today I was in stables, so I burnt some calories when I worked with horses (+- 200 calories, I really don’t know - my app said it was 258 calories).


So, for today I have some 150 calories.

I hope you’re doing well.🖤

Love you guys 🖤

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i regret eating over my bmr today. I had like 1300-1600 cals. I’M 1LB OVER MY LOWEST WEIGHT THAT WAS ONLY EARLIER TODAY. I WAS 137.6. NOW I’M 138.6. like i know it’s gonna be like that because ~slowed metabolism~ but ugh that made me mad. i regret it so much. i think I’m gonna try and eat even less tbh…

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I’m fat!

For real this time!

I’m going to take my weightloss, workouts, cardio, and eating (ugh) seriously this go around.

I’m pretty pleased with where my strength levels are at so I’m not too worried about those.

I took the before photos, know what I currently weigh, and will see where I’m at by the end of the month.

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But y'all don’t care. 😊

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So far I’m doing okay with cutting back on intake

Yesterday my calorie intake was 914, and I burned 610, about half of my caloric intake was from a latte that I drank and I didn’t really think about it until I had to track it and was like “fuck”

Today my intake is 254 and I’ve burned 72 calories so far today just from basic walking around at work (my day isn’t over yet, it’s only 1:30pm)

I feel a lot better today and I’m ready to get back on track and see progress

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At this point I am absolutely disgusted with myself.

I got clean and sober which has been incredible and it made me stop looking at myself and my body.

God I look hideous. When I made it to California I weighed about 103 pounds. Not my favorite weight but the alcohol I was drinking had way too many calories.

It’s been seven months and I fucking blew up like a balloon. I look DISGUSTING every part of me is just FAT FAT FAT I looked and the mirror and what I saw made me sick.

All the people that told me I looked good or that I was only gaining healthy weight are liars. I can’t believe I ruined my body. I gained approximately 70 pounds and I want to cry.

I’m so glad I have Ana to help me be beautiful again. I need to lose weight as fast as I can.

I know I can do it, I have to do it.

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