leo & catherine, the great // your love finds its way back, sierra demulder // holly warburton // ?, sue zhao // cassandra: a novel and four essays, christa wolf // ? /// ? // horoscope for the heartbroken, schuyler peck // i bet on losing dogs, mitski // war of the foxes, richard siken
Love is far better to know, even if it slips from your grasp or doesn’t bear fruit like you’d hoped. People who say they regret love, true love, are just bitter liars.
and in a moment of anger, i thought you hideous
for never saying "i love you" when you knew we would both die
any day, we could be struck by some grievance and draw our last breath
and i will not have had your "i love you" to recall as i died
i'm sorry. it wasn't right of me.
perhaps i am simply sick of begging to be loved
i said my last "i love you" to you
i wonder if you even noticed
i told you that i love you, and you told me that you stopped believing in birthdays after you turned 18. i told you that i love you, and you told me that you still can't bring yourself to give away your notebooks from when you were in school. i told you that i love you, and you told me about the time you woke up at 4 am and sobbed your heart out and then went right back to sleep. i told you that i love you, and you told me about how you felt like a huge tree in a grassland when you were younger, and how it's still true sometimes. i told you that i love you, and you told me about how you avoid mirrors at home and the windows of shops when you're walking on the street. i told you that i love you, and you asked me if you were a good person and shook your head when i said yes. i told you that i love you, and you told me that you still think about the time your dad screamed at you in the car, and how you still flinch when you think about it. i told you that i love you, and you told me it'll pass.
divorced couple energy ship will always be immaculate to me. we hate each other. we've seen each other naked. I know how you take your morning coffee. I will never make you your morning coffee again. get it yourself. here you go, I gave it to you anyway. you disgust me. I will always be somewhat in love with you. I will be yours forever. you're not mine anymore. you will always be mine. fuck you. let's fuck, for old time's sake. did you steal my cd? no, no. keep it.
Note to Self:
another weekend comes to a close
the music opens the scene
i sit alone again
wine in hand
music in my ears
memories of him
in my room
in my bed
it’s Sunday night
i’ll write
maybe send him a note
nope
i’ve done that
maybe i’ll write it down
another passage in my journal
post a lovers note
but i’ve done that
so many times before
he doesn’t read it
falls on deaf ears
blind eyes
never…