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#textpost#prose#poetry#quotes#2014tumblr#alfa#soulmates#love#typography#brokenheart#wordart#lostlove
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Kenpachi Zaraki (Bleach) Chapter 6
"(Y/N)-chan we have to keep running!”
“Tarou I-I can’t..” You whimper.
Your feet were bruised and beaten. He wasn't any better. You were exhausted and hungry.
“Just leave me behind.” You sobbed.
Growing up here was tough. You truly thought that as you got older you would be stronger. Both of you had promised to join the squad barracks as soul reapers. The hope was to lead a life that was more useful.
Tarou kneeled, giving you a gentle smile. You could hear the screams of the hollow in the distance, and you flinched. He took your hands.
“I’m not going to leave you, because becoming reapers wasn’t the only promise I made.” He lifted you into his arms as he guided you to a covered area, and when he tucked you in the bark of a broken off tree, you were confused.
“T-Tarou..?”
He just grinned.
“I’m going to become a strong reaper, a captain. Then the both of us are going to get married and live happily ever after.” You blushed at the statement, and he leaned forward, leaving a kiss on the top of your head. When he pulled away, your tears came streaming down.
“I’ll definitely make you fall for me and make you my bride. “
He stood, and you reached out, but he was already running off in the direction of the hollow.
“Ta..rou..TARAOU!!!!”
Your eyes fix on the stone before you, the scribble of words written on it.
Tarou (L/N).
He’d died so young.
“I’m sorry we never got that happy ending. I wish I could have given you more than just my last name. You deserved so much more.”
You’d managed to crawl out of the forest. When the reapers finally showed up, it was too late. All you could see was the blood that covered his body. It hurt. More than you wanted to accept.
That was probably the moment that you decided that fighting for others was a waste of time. He’d given up his life for you. Deprived himself of a future over a dream he never had a chance to achieve. Coming here used to bring you nothing but pain.
But everything was different now.
You are different now.
“I met someone, Tarou. You would like him. He’s a bit of a loose canon. Kind of like you were when we were kids. He’s really bad at focusing on anything that isn’t related to fighting. But he has someone that he cares about more than his own life. Someone he lives to protect. Kind of like how you always did for me. I guess hearing me gush over another guy would make you a little jealous huh.” You laugh, rubbing your neck.
“I’m sorry, I guess I’m still a bit oblivious.”
The wind tossed your robes.
“(Y/N)-san?”
The voice in the background catches you by surprise.
“Hanataro?”
He’s holding a bouquet of flowers and his eyes moved to the grave stone.
“You knew Tarou-san?”
You’re shocked that he does.
“W-We grew up together.” You explain.
“I had no idea. Tarou-kun protected me a lot when we were in Rukongai. I always thought it was because we looked so similar. “
The resemblance was prominent. It’s possible they could have been brothers and just never knew. You were all orphans after all.
It sort of makes sense now.
Hanataro places the flowers down.
“I really looked up to him. A part of me always wanted to be like him.” You look over at Hanataro.
“You are just like him.He wasn’t very strong either. “
Your words catch his attention.
“Despite his limits, he used every breath in his body to protect me. Down to the very end. I guess that’s why somewhere along the way I stopped caring. “
Hantaro listens attentively.
“I used to be hopeful and full of belief in the cause, but when I lost him I lost that. Reapers that I knew in those times weren’t all good. There were some really cruel ones that took advantage of their power. They didn’t protect us like they said they would. At some point I..I became just like them.” You pressed a hand to your face.
“He would probably hate who I turned out to be.”
You were disappointed in yourself.
“I don’t believe that. I think he would be proud that you figured out how to protect again. “
Hanataro’s words make you look up.
“You lost someone special, it’s natural that you would feel hurt and lose hope. But despite what you believe in, both times you thought I was in danger you threw yourself in front of it to save me. You’re a hero. “
His smile is warm, and you can’t help but return it. You grab him by the shoulder ruffling his hair.
“You really are just like him, you softie.”
“(Y/N)-chan stop it, you're messing up my hair!!”
It was nice hearing those words.
~
After the visit, you walk back with Hanataro feeling refreshed. You only slow down when the familiar head of green hair pops out.
“There you are Hanataro! I was worried.” She runs in giving him a hug.”
“I’m fine Fuka-chan.”
Somehow the moment reminds you of the way you always clung to Tarou.
When her eyes turn to you, she’s glaring at you.
“D-Do you have a crush on Hana-kun!! I’m not going to give him up to anyone!!”
Hanataro panics, cheeks flushed.
“F-Fuka-chan w-what are you saying!!”
“I don't have a crush on him.” You state.
“Then why are you always around him! You must have feelings for him.”
Your eyes drift over his form, and the words he spoke that day to protect his friend seem to run through your head.
“I won’t let anything happen to you.”
It was admirable.
“He reminds me of someone that I used to know. Someone I cared about. Family.”
The sadness reflected shocks her. Fuka takes a step forward, no longer on the defensive. She bows
“P-Please continue to protect him!”
You aren’t fully sure, but it feels like she realizes it. When she straightens there’s a sense of understanding in her eyes. Like she knows what you’ve been through. It’s weird and comforting in a sense.
“I’ll do my best.”
#Kenpachi Zaraki#Yachiru Kusajishi#funny#Hanataro Yamada#lostlove#care#pain#loss#kenpachi x reader#past#bleach#soul society#love
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How to Live on Like I Promised You I Would
When we finally allowed ourselves to be together after all those years I told you something almost immediately; “We can save each other’s lives or we can bring each other down until one of us or both of us are gone.”
I had lost before, you promised I would not lose again. Your trust had been broken before, and I promised I would love you completely.
Your mother pulled me aside one day and made me promise to leave you if things got too bad, but how could I ever keep that promise after the one I had made to you? Things were more complex than she understood.
I gasped for air at 7:03AM. I gasped like I had been breathed back to life by some mystical force we’d never believed in, you and I. I gasped for air at 7:03AM, almost like both of us had died and you had chosen to breath your life back into me to give me another chance.
And at first I looked around the room, impressed that we somehow, in our blackout, had managed to put away all the evidence of our use. All I’d remembered from the night before was putting my nose in the bag and waking up with you in my lap. I knew something was not right because your head was rolled off the side of the couch and when I picked you up black blood ran out of your ears and from your nose. I tried to drag you to the shower and put you under cold water like we’d done for each other so many times before. I knew you were gone but the heart doesn’t believe what the head tries to feed it in those moments. I tried for hours to bring you back to me, so hard that the EMT’s laughed when they arrived and stood back.
“Seems like you’ve got this,” the guy grinned, and I could have killed him.
When you left I was angry—I hated you for being the one who left me after you promised me you wouldn’t die. When you left I was afraid—how could I ever give myself again so completely to anyone? I had no faith.
When we buried you I had to be pulled away, I didn’t want to leave you and we weren’t done talking yet. I made promises I couldn’t keep and bargained for your life and begged for forgiveness. Mostly, I told you that I’d never love again, unless I knew that lover had been sent to me from the heavens by your hand, directly.
And as time went by, I realized I had lied to you about that, too. You must have seen me, and if not, you must have known that not to love for me was an impossible task because you must have known that all I had ever reached for in my whole entire life was love. I am a lover and I will do what lovers do, but trust me that promise never made it easy for me. Oh, I looked for you in everyone, in every step that they took, in the way they brushed the hair behind my ears, in the jokes they’d whisper to me. The love they made for me was never really mine because it was always tainted by remnants of feelings of the love you’d given me first. I promised you that I would live on, and I promised you love would be different, but the truth is, there is no way I can love without seeing you in every other man I try to pursue. And the fact of the matter is I need love in order to live on. I need it like air, and you know that because you know me. So how can I separate the love I will always have for you away from the love I seek in my pursuit of living on?
My grandmother grew up the youngest of 9 in Italy, so small that she doesn’t remember world war II. Her father left her mother which was unspeakable back then and she had to raise all those babies on her own. When tragedy struck, like my oldest great uncle dying in the war, the kids were sent out into the street to beg. They were called wailers because they would wail and cry and seek the attention of any passerby they could get to throw them a penny or a nickel. When my grandfather died, my grandma cried so hard and made such a scene that she tried to jump into the coffin with him. I was so embarrassed and angry at her for robbing the rest of the family of their right to grieve on a day that should have been focused on my grandpa.
When you died, all at once I understood the overwhelming hopelessness of it all. The things we would never get to write, the art we would never finish, the garden that wouldn’t grow, the children that wouldn’t live. My future was taken in one moment from me and for the first time in my entire life, I felt sympathy for my grandmother, and all her attention seeking exaltation. I did not try to be buried with you but I must have walked up to your casket 20 times to kiss you once more.
In the weeks that followed your passing I found it very difficult to leave my room. Guilt took hold of me every time I thought of myself, being greedy enough to get a cup of coffee while you were being eaten by worms, or when I allowed myself to smile or laugh in conversation with new friends.
For a long time I have swallowed the guilt of new love, holding it close in my stomach and bringing it everywhere with me and my new relationships. I know you do not want me alone, I have pushed the thought away all this time but I realize that you want someone to keep me safe in your absence, until we meet again. I need to let go of the guilt. I honor your soul every day, and it is not a betrayal of our love to need comfort, intimacy, and companionship while I am still on this earth.
I need to let go of the comparisons. I need to face the fact that there will not be another like you. I need to be grateful that I was one of the lucky ones, lucky enough to find great love in my lifetime where the two of us just understood each other completely without ever needing any explanation. That doesn’t mean that I am incapable of loving someone who is not you. I think it really comes down to openness, honesty, and constant communication. I cannot be afraid to bring you into my new relationship because you are a big part of what made me, “me.” However, at the same time, I mustn’t place you on a pedestal that no other man can live up to. There is so much to see in this world, and every person has some new gift to bring to it. I need to separate those parts from before from what is happening now. I think therapy will help, and support from the people who know me best. Mostly, I need things to go slow. I need time to transition in my mind to this new place, this new love that I am trying to create.
#lostlove#widowersoftumblr#letters#letterstoyou#losing my mind#poem#reading#writing#self care#positive mental attitude#self help#creative writing
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your mom gave me the biggest hug last night
sure it was a dream - still I woke feeling like
I did something right
she told me it was good to have me back
like the lack of my presence actually
made a difference
I think that's all we really want
significance
it seeks and finds itself
staring at a glassless mirror
windows don't make things clear
they just show you what's there
and you're still there when I blink
so what exactly is my soul supposed to think
I held your face in my hands last night
doesn't have to be real to feel right
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Why?
I always sit on the edge of the kitchen counter and listened with intentional eyes
Why
I was so interesting and could be fun
But there was nothing you could do with me
Why
and how do I look interesting
To you
When I never danced on tabletops or got naked for your friends
But I seemed so fun
Why
Try me
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Embraced by Darkness: A Poetic Ode to Dracula's Eternal Slumber
#Dracula#Vampire#Poetry#Gothic#Darkness#Embrace#Eternity#Blood#Solitude#Morbid#Shadows#Palace#Cold#WarmBlood#Immortal#Curse#LostLove#Kingdom#Night#Thirst#Forsaken#Home#Symphony
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January 9th leaving a relationship
It’s January 9th, 2024; I’m glad we had fun yesterday as today’s song is all about a woman choosing to leave her relationship and then questioning it, perhaps with regret and guilt–at least it sounds that way to me. What do you think?
Leaving someone you love
What happens when we leave someone we love? Do we tend to look back and ask why? Do we wonder what we did that for? That’s the timeless…
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#believe you#emotion#guilt about leaving#lostlove#love lost#love song#Music#Original music#original song#questioning#relationship regret#romantic relationship#song for a new movie#why leave#why love another
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I dreamt of which was the more wet. The reflection in my eye of lamp lit hopes. The sound of time passed dripping branch to street into memory. I stood watching. The broad direction you so longingly departed for before. And you know you ignite every stranger’s will to die not on this step no not on this one of his but his next. And the next. The next. Cold tonight. The way your sickness gripped you uncaring away from sleep. But no this one it seems is for me so not so lonely so. Only now in etched image do I see what letter was born into your name. And you walk a night street calling and yet met never once me in my courtesy or charms sweet. A shame. Leave it there and done. You will hear me through some other closing arms. As I here counting stones in the rained on road now travel to home to solitude to war in dreams to peace.
#poem#poetry#poetryriot#poet#theantipoetrysociety#writerscreed#twcpoetry#poets of tumblr#writers on tumblr#lostlove#rain
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In the depths of despair, 'neath the town's bright beams,
Midst laughter and glow, lost in silent screams,
No solace in sight, trapped in sorrow's streams.
Amidst the crowd's bustle, a familiar face gleams,
Beside another, laughter reigns supreme,
Approaching with hope, chasing love's old dreams.
With a hesitant hello, drawing close, it seems,
Met with coldness, shattering hopes like shattered beams,
Love's end declared, amidst night's silent schemes.
Yet my heart still lingers, refusing to deem,
In the city's embrace, lost in love's lonely scheme.
#Heartache#LostLove#CitySorrow#LonelyWanderer#BrokenDreams#DesperateYearning#GriefStricken#EmotionalTurmoil#UnrequitedLove#UrbanMelancholy
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Does she know that i sought her in all things?
#art#horses#book#princess#queen#lover#d3ath#book art#winter#graveyard#loss#dark academia#lgbtq+#dark acadamia aesthetic#grieving#heartbroken#heartbreak#heartache#grief#lostlove
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I always believed
In right person, wrong time
because you were it for me.
My person, my missing half.
Now, you're 4 years of lost love
too young to know better
too old to risk trying
4 years of yearning...
but she'll get everything
I so foolishly believed I was earning;
is this learning?
If growing up
means watching your wedding
from the back
and living life without you,
I want to stop growing.
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fabulous interactions with peaceful distractions
smelling the fresh mountain air that cool breeze messing with your hair, seeing all those sights won't be the same with out you there
i look back and cherish all that we where , looking forward without despair looking forward to fabulous distractions and peaceful interactions
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#dark academia aesthetic#romantic academia#mental health#sad thoughts#classic academia#love#lostlove
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Exit Gracefully
It's time to go,
There's a lot of pain,
Hurting each other,
It's time to let it go,
If you can't exit with dignity,
Or grace,
Or even humour,
At least exit silently,
I've played my part,
You've too,
The lines don't match,
What my heart wants to say,
But my brain is fighting my heart,
These days,
Brain says its time to go,
Heart says please stay I don't wanna let em go,
Brian says, there's been too much hurt and damage,
Heart says its born out of hurt and anger which is the flip side of love, there's still oh so much love,
Brian says hurt is not love, you've been deceived to thinking it is, but my dear, you deserve oh, so much better
Heart says its OK I'm wounded
Brian says not anymore, this isn't love, hurt only grows here, no phone calls or messages, or invites or care your mistaking this for love but oh, oh, you deserve so much better, you deserve a love that's kind and never makes you doubt your worth,
Heart says oh but I love them,
Brain says they haven't missed you, not once, not even close, not at all
The argument goes on but Brain will protect heart,
From another bruise or cut,
17 years,
Practically a marriage,
But ah, oh you've never seen marriage rings,
That didn't turn to rust,
It's time to go,
Saying goodbye never comes easy at all,
It's why you've been dragging it out for months,
But it's over.
There gone.
And they never loved you, not at all.
#writing#poetry poem writing prose#poem#poetry#quotes#mental breakdown#mentally tired#coping with grief#love story#grief poem#martinacollender#martinacollenderpoetry#martinacollenderplaywright#martinacollenderwriting#friendship#lost friendship#brokenfriendship#lostlove#brokenheart
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ow to journal when you have childhood trauma and you're on the edge of a breakdown: Make yourself feel safe. Put on some chill music, change into comfortable clothes, make some tea, ect. The more comfortable you are, the easier this will be. Write down the symptoms you are feeling. Divide them into emotional feelings (i feel afraid, i feel like there's too much to do) and physical feelings (my chest feels tight, my lower back hurts). Write down 3-4 big stressors that are making you feel this way right now. It might be something like: I'm afraid I might lose my job, I feel bad because my friend is mad at me, I'm scared to go to my doctor's appointment. Identify when this fear or stressor really started. For example, maybe you're afraid to go to your doctor's appointment because you had a bad experience at the doctor's when you were 8. Write an approximate age next to your stressors. Write a short letter to yourself from each age that you wrote down. Make sure your inner child feels safe and heard. Tell them that this time is different, and thank them for being so brave. This may not work for everyone, but it's a system I came up with that has been very beneficial for me. Remember to take your time and be gentle with yourself. I wish you the best on your healing journey 🤍🧿
#pyschology#audio#classic rock#womens rights#women empowerment#women empowering woman#women empowered feminist equal rights#feminism#intersectional feminism#girls who smoke weed#emo girl#life lessons#life#life hacks#depression#bipolar#anxiety#alone#lostlove#love#patience#mental health#mental wellbeing#positive mental attitude
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