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inkskinned · 5 months

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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main.#tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends #and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo #(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.)#(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape.#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.#but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have.#and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing).#but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry #here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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starplatinumnun · 2 years

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can you infodump to me? (i love you) is this overwhelming? (i love you) is this the right texture? (i love you) is it ok to touch you? (i love you) do you want the subtitles on? (i love you) do you want to go somewhere less noisy? (i love you)

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #this is about what love feels like to me as an autistic person with neurotypical family and friends #you are more than welcome to add your own experiences!#red instead #autism acceptance #neurodivergent #my writing

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kookies2000 · 1 year

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As someone who grew up in a household where men were never allowed to show affection, let alone to another man, from fear of being seen as weak.............

These forehead touches between friends/bros are so healing to me. Please, we need more of this. Platonic affection between men is beautiful, and I wish I had grown up with it.

#puss in boots the last wish #puss in boots #perrito puss in boots #perrito #mario and luigi #mario movie spoilers #the mario movie #super mario #the super mario bros movie #mario #luigi #love #platonic #platonic love #brotherly love #this is just too pure for me #i wish I saw all the men in my life be this affectionate with their friends and family's #Spainard Mexican and Italian men in my family were always trying to be macho #so this just heals a lot of my bad memories

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chaos-bringer-13 · 1 month

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I've seen a lot of people writing Danny as a space ancient and Dan and Dani as ghosts with moon and sun cores, being sort of parts, versions of Danny and therefore weaker. Now, consider: Dan and Dani are both powerful ghosts with really cool cores and stuff but Danny is just some guy™

Dan, who came from an alternate timeline and is kind of from the future but also not, is Clockwork's apprentice and will eventually become an ancient of time. He probably only agreed to have some lessons with Clockwork to understand better what happened to him, but he enjoys his apprenticeship now.

Dani, with her love of travelling, loves seeing all the different places the world offers to her, and that includes space and different planets and maybe even parallel universes, and she accidentally ends up being an apprentice of the space ancient. For now she's probably a baby ancient of freedom or something like that, but she might become an ancient of space in the future.

We can also have something like Dan having a core of destruction or Dani being the Speed Force if you want it to be dcxdp, or any headcanon of yours about their cool powers.

And then there's Danny. And yeah, everyone knows that he's super powerful, but also he's just some guy.

It can go different routes. Does everyone know that Danny is just Danny? Or do they think that with siblings (well, technically a clone and an alternate version, but whatever) so powerful, he must be even stronger? Is Danny actually something terrifyingly eldritch and ancient and strong, almost a god, but he just doesn't know himself? Or is he just really some guy?

Now, because it's obvious that I have a dcxdp brainrot, have a regular "JL summons/meets a powerful ghost" but its Dan and Dani, and they keep mentioning their original/brother who won a fight against them at some point. The JL is very concerned about Dan and Dani's godlike powers, and they can't imagine what Danny is like. And then they meet him (in his human form), and it's just a young adult in casual clothes, very friendly and helpful, with no evident powers. Imagine the confusion. Imagine Dan and Dani, radiating power, in their eldritch ghost forms, admitting that fighting Danny for real is the dumbest thing to do and not even they would succeed... And then there's Danny is jeans and silly t-shirt, waving shyly.

#DO YOU SEE MY VISION #please #I'm not getting enough sleep #my brain is obsessed with weird stuff #I want Sam who barely looks human because she's one with nature #I want Tucker who looks regal and dangerous in his pharaoh clothes #I want Dan look like he can destruct the Earth with a wave of his hand #I want Dani who is everything there is in the world and you feel it in your bones #I want Jazz who sees your soul and your mind and you know it and there's nowhere to run #I want JL to meet all of them before meeting Danny #I want all of them to admit in their different ways that Danny is the greatest of them #I want JL to be VERY worried about meeting Danny #and then I want Danny to be as normal and friendly as possible #and I want him to treat all those eldritch creatures (his family and friends) as they're regular humans and nothing is weird about them #just hugs and love and praises #because it would cause so much confusion #this is NOT ghost king Danny #unless it is but he doesn't know (and either no one knows or no one told him because it's funnier this way and he's super oblivious)#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #DPxDC #DCxDP #danny phantom #isn't a crossover if you don't want it to be #could be any crossover if you do want it to be

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shorthaltsjester · 1 year

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the reason critical role is so good is because every campaign features at least one cast member creating a character that they intend to be doomed by the narrative and matt and the rest of the cast going don’t be an idiot, Our Love Will Undoom Them. like in the explanation of percy’s final playlist, taliesin wrote, “Cheers to a happy ending for a character intended by his creator to be karmically irredeemable. May we all be so fortunate.” and just, Yeah.

#this is particularly about like. percy vax yasha caleb beau fcg imogen #also they’re jokes but like. tary as doomed as meant to just be a fucky joke and they were like no actually he’s my best friend #and bertrand being the Epitome of cast fuckery and . they’re the bell’s hells #the undooming nature of a found family’s love cannot be beat .#critical role #the mighty nein #vox machina #bell’s hells #percival de rolo #percy de rolo #taliesin jaffe #matthew mercer #matt mercer

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nouverx · 16 days

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I absolutely loved the recent duo print of Alastor and Charlie on streamily and I wanted to make an hypothetical duo print of Alastor and Niffty in a similar style. A man can dream 💀

I also wish he had one with Rosie ofc he needs a duo print with all his girlies. Maybe I'll draw that next time who knows

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin alastor #hazbin niffty #alastor #digital art #my art #clip studio paint #alastor and niffty #platonic ofc #I havent drawn them together in a while I missed them my favourite murderous psychopaths duo #I wasnt posting much lately because I was visiting friends and family last week; I was away from home for a while #but now I'm back and ready to feed yall more radiorose #and more alastor in general bc goddamn i love this murderous deer man #also yeah sorry the background is straight up out of the show I didnt draw that one I cant draw backgrounds for shit #but one day... one day I'll draw my own backgrounds

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autiacorart · 5 months

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You can't wake up, this is not a dream You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

#dbh #connor rk800 #dbh connor #detroit become human #rk800 #dbh fanart #trying to beat my artblock by finishing some older sketch #my friend didn't recognize it as my art lmaoooo #connor is my baby boy and i love him dearly and will always deviate the hell out of him he deserves love and hugs and found family

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periswirl · 4 months

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DP×DC Prompt

Love the idea of Danny being a horror movie child.

Like he somehow ends up with a non-supernatural DC family, be it the Kent's or the Batfam, and kind of just....is vaguely unsettling at first.

He stares into dark corners laughs at jokes only he hears. Tells random people things no one else should know.

And, used to weird, his new family let's it slide. Then they start seeing things. His shadow is bigger than it should be. Multiple eyes appear in the dark, watching them. Whispers fill the halls at night.

It's driving some crazy as they can SWEAR that when Danny gets mad they hear the screams of the damned.

Meanwhile Danny is chilling with his bodygaurd Fright Knight and is happy to have visits from his former rogues who make sure to check in on him as he's going through a rough patch in his life and, as a young ghost, is very susceptible to drastic changes.

#Theyre in two completely different genres #The new fam: horror mystery #danny: coming of age found family #like if its the batfam;#tim: theres SOMETHING HAPPENING. i havent slept in days #Duke: the shadows are alive and theyre Angry #Danny: :D wow im so happy to have friends who love and support me #Fright Knight: *unintelligible screams of horror* :] happy to be of service my lord #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #my post

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urfriendlywriter · 4 months

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things me and my bestfriends have said to each other that would make a list of heartbreaking prompts:

(found family trope but irl haha, feel free to use <3 tag me when yall writee, 1,9,11,13,24 has a spcl place in my heart)

"i don't feel seen at times." "it's not true. i see you, [name], i always have."

"thank you for listening to me, thank you for being here for me."

"i love the family we've found for ourselves :( "

"i want to hug you.."

"you, you can always come to me when you're happy and when you're sad."

"you make me become the best of me." <333

"i can never forget when you did ___, God i almost fell in love with you then."

"no, i don't want to rant-" "no, no, hey, it's okay. rant. I'm here to listen."

"whenever i ask you, you say I'm ok, but whenever you ask me i bare my heart open to you. i just want you to tell me if you're having a hard time so i can lend you a shoulder in silence!"

"just--just come with me, please ! I'll take care of you, please leave that hell hole you call home !"

"it hurts, [name]." in a weak murmur and they just rest their face on your shoulder, leaning on one another as they whisper, "it's okay to hurt. cry if u have to."

"should we just run away from home and live together?"

"you are a good person, [nickname]." ✯

"rant, love, go ahead."

"i was very proud of you. i still am."

"you're the positive blueprint/sunshine to my fucked up life, [name]" (ok but they said this to me while we were both in our LOWEST)

"we were enemies before weren't we?" "yeah, haha, if you were a boy we'd have become lovers!!"

^ "[nickname], are you GAY?? YOU ARE GAY- OMG" "stop it lmao" (all in texts lol)

"i wonder what good i did to deserve you " </3

"how lovely of you :)" "ilysm" "shut up, dude, you're so adorable."

"you are devastatingly beautiful, [name]."

"i can never forget what you looked like at your happiest... you glowed. " :((

"hugs, please :/"

"I'd love to nom nom you TT" (we were acting cute and actually melting)

"we'll become the parents we never had."

"we are walking through this life together, aren't we? let's do so till we are together in the paradise, too."

"you mean a lot to me."

"together, in this world and in the here-after too."

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is-mise-setanta · 6 months

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Hopeless romantic?? Hell no I am a hopeless found family-ic. You are slightly younger than me and appreciate my advice and little trinkets?? TOO LATE you are now my little sibling and I will kill for you

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #found family #shitpost kinda #listen i just love my friends #i wanna be the sarcastic but nice older brother #is that too much to ask????

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months

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