#love my sense of humor. the bar is so low.

[sporadicthingcollection]

Kiss, Marry, Kill: Part 1/2 (LA!Buggy the Clown x F!Reader)

Summary: In which Buggy overhears a private conversation and uses that knowledge against you. Pairing: LA!Buggy the Clown x F!Reader Rating: Semi-explicit. Word Count: ~3k (of 5.3k) Warnings: Clown abuse, strong language, incorrect use of a straight razor.

Never had you on my mind Now you're there all the time Never knew what I missed until I kissed ya

---

By all accounts, Buggy should be having a great time. There's food, alcohol, gambling... hell, there's even a swimming pool. Not that he can partake, but he can live vicariously.

Instead, he's got a whole school of shark eyes trained on him as he sits on a stool next to Arlong's throne. This water park sucks.

He's not chained up or anything. The threat of a couple dozen sets of teeth ripping into him is reason enough to sit perfectly still, keep his mouth shut, and try to look as small as possible. No sudden movements, no change in expression, no—

"Kiss the clown, marry the waiter, kill Pink Hair."

Buggy sits bolt upright and looks around. Who the hell said that?

Arlong doesn't even deign to look at him. "Hear something?"

Clear. Crisp. With a little bit of an accent, maybe. He's heard it somewhere recently, but where?

Certainly not here. It was a woman's voice, and Arlong Park is a bit of a sausage party at the moment. Not that he can tell on sight with fishpeople.

"Answer me, clown," Arlong rumbles.

He forgets who he's talking to for a moment. "Eavesdropping's an art," he snaps. "You can't rush art."

Big mistake. Arlong responds with a low, wet growl. "It's been three days. My patience is running thin."

Quiet chatter. The clinking of silverware. Someone chewing with their mouth open. The little pirates are at a restaurant, it seems.

He relays this to Arlong. He's less than pleased. He enunciates every word to show his teeth. "Care to be more specific?"

A shudder crawls up the back of Buggy's neck. He takes a swig of his drink to cover it. He places his fingers over his remaining ear, straining.

"You're shitting me." That voice he recognizes. The redhead. The one who ruined his show. The one Arlong's so interested in. Nadi? Nani? Noni?

The other woman speaks. "Nami, you rejected him," she says. "Girl Code only applies if you were dating."

Nami. That's her, the conniving little bitch. "No, not the waiter. I mean you'd seriously kiss the clown? He nearly killed us."

He'd recognize Rubber Boy's voice anywhere, the little shitheel. "And his nose would get in the way."

The mystery woman speaks up again. "That's nothing new. I’ve smacked noses with plenty of guys."

Okay, that narrows it down. It’s not the redhead, it can't be Rubber Boy or the bounty hunter, so that leaves...

...you. Of course it's you. How could he forget you? You're the only one who laughed at Axe-Hand Moron. Granted, it was more like a snnrrrk and you immediately clapped your hand over your mouth, eyes wide with horror, but it was a laugh all the same.

And in that moment, he knew he liked you. Bad sense of humor. Cute smile. A little bashful. He appreciates that. Sure, you helped humiliate him not an hour after the fact, but all's fair in love and piracy.

"Look, I'm not saying it’s a good idea," you continue, "but sometimes you gotta live dangerously."

The bounty hunter speaks, dry and droll. "Storms are dangerous. Bar fights are dangerous. You're just insane."

"Oh, c'mon, you're not seriously gonna hold Fu..." You pause. "Kiss Marry Kill answers against me."

So that's what's going on. "They're just chattering like they always are," he says to Arlong.

Arlong does not like that answer. He snatches Buggy up by the neck, lifting him clear off the ground with only one hand.

"Wait! Wait wait wait! They're still talking! I might have something!" He kicks and struggles, but it's no use.

You speak. "You think everything pops off? ‘Cause a gal could really— hyurk.”

Laughter all around as you’re cut off by something. Sounds like you choked.

“Thank you, Usopp,” Nami says. “I am not having that conversation.”

Arlong saunters over to the pool, carrying Buggy like a ragdoll. He has precious few seconds now. C'mon, he wills them, say something useful!

A slap, a spit, then a couple of hard coughs. “Nice shot,” you wheeze. “Use the unspicy peanut next time. I think I burned my windpipe.”

The new guy — Usopp — scoffs. “Spicy? Please. This isn’t spicy. Baratie spicy is barely a zip. Now, you want spicy, you gotta hit up the Great Pepper Isles. Their chilis are so hot, I had an out-of-body experience.”

And boom, there it is. Right as he's about to be dropped into the water, his ticket to life.

“Baratie! They're at Baratie," he chokes out. "That floating restaurant. That really nice one I got thrown out of, the pricks."

It was Cabaji's fault. Turns out whipping a unicycle out at the bar is frowned upon. Who'd've thunk.

Arlong 'smiles.' All teeth and gums and no mirth at all. "Consult our charts," he says to the nearest fishman. "I'll prepare our compass."

He grabs Buggy by the hair and yanks. In the interest of not getting his neck broken, he separates his head from his body. Unfortunately, gravity takes over and his body plunges into the pool.

Weakness swamps him like a rogue wave. He can't say a word as he's stuffed into a cloth sack and everything goes dark.

In both ears, all he can hear are the sounds of laughter.

---

Someday, Buggy will learn not to run his fat mouth. That day is not today.

Usopp barges into the galley and lobs his head through the air, a low slow toss. He only has a moment to appreciate not being overhand pitched before landing on the floor. Not on his nose, fortunately, but it still hurts.

He points at the blonde guy — Sanji? Sanji. "I can't take it anymore. He's your problem now. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

He tramps off as Buggy flips himself upright. “What’s his problem?” he asks no one in particular. “Sheesh, you make one ‘your mom’ joke and—“

A decidedly unmanly yelp escapes him as he's popped up into the air. The world spins and turns and he braces himself to hit the ground again, only to be caught in soft hands. He's spun around...

...and comes face to face with you, regarding him with curious, contemptuous eyes.

Oh, you're even prettier up close. The redhead's a looker, but she's still a kid. Soft. Pale. Set like a mousetrap, ready to spring and break some poor chump's neck at the slightest provocation.

But you? You're a grown-ass woman. Comfortable in your sun-kissed skin. A twinkle of experience in your eye and the ease of someone who's been sailing her ship for years.

He can't help but smile. "Well, well, well. Fancy meeting you here, gorgeous," he says with a wink.

From the corner of his eye, he sees Sanji shoot him a glare. Your expression remains cool and uninterested. Shifting his head to your side, you hold him against your hip like a laundry basket. Even through your trousers, the soft swell of flesh warms his cheek.

“Weren't you just on buggysitting duty?” you ask Sanji.

Buggysitting? Really? "I'm right here, y'know," he grumbles.

He's ignored, as per usual. Sanji straightens up and huffs. “New guy always gets the shit jobs.”

“Let’s trade,” you say. “You take my watch and I’ll mind our chatty compass.”

Rude. “I’m still right here.”

Sanji shakes his head. “Go get your beauty sleep. Not that you need it, of course."

Wow, that was a bad line. Buggy makes his displeasure known with a retch.

“Sleep is for people who don’t have coffee.” You flap your hand toward the door. "Shoo.”

Sanji glances between you and Buggy, but heads for the door. "Any trouble at all, love, and I’m a shout away."

A little smile colors your voice. "If he starts gnawing my ankles, you’ll be the first to know."

Sanji returns the smile, sickeningly sweet. As he leaves, you sit at the table, placing Buggy across from you.

He wants nothing more than to plant his leg on a stool, lean in on his knee, and give you a toothy grin. But alas, he must settle for the grin. "Alone at last. Come here often?"

You don't even bother to look at him, too preoccupied with picking up a very shiny straight razor and a strip of leather. Muscle ripples under your skin as you slide the blade back and forth.

"So you're the barber," he says. You don't respond. "Can't imagine you're too busy on a ship with a bunch of babyfaces." Still nothing. "Don't suppose I could get a shave, then? Last time I used a straight razor, I ended up like this!"

"Barber surgeon," you say as you inspect the blade. Dissatisfied with some invisible blemish, you continue stropping.

He shrugs, only to remember he can’t. "Say, doc, I can't feel anything below my neck. Could you take a look?”

Irritation tints your voice. “Not a doctor,” you say. You’ve clearly had to explain this countless times before. “Doctors treat the inside. I fix up the outside.”

“Splitting hairs, Miss Sawbones.”

Shiff shiff shiff goes the razor. "If you don't stop talking, we’re gonna see if cutting off the nose really does spite the face. Might be an improvement for you.”

That’s just low. “Keep talking shit and this bark is gonna turn into bite.”

You finally look up. You level the razor at him, glaring down the blade. “You’re the only one talking, clown.”

Damn. Your eyes are pretty. Warm as the first sunbeam of a summer morning, but dark as the blotches he gets in his eyes when he looks into a spotlight by accident. Hot like one, too. Heat lurks below the dark surface, like warm charcoal about to catch fire.

Nerves ball up in his absent chest. He swallows them and summons his bravado. “Can ya blame me? I’ve got shit else to do. I’ve met parrots with more to say than you.”

"Count the cracks in the ceiling."

"One, two, three—“ He gives an exaggerated groan. “Didn't you say you were gonna make coffee? Can I get in on that?"

You scoff, but you do stand. "Last thing you need is caffeine.”

“The last thing I need is to be held hostage by a bunch of greenhorn nobodies,” he says, "and yet here I am."

“Sucks to suck,” you say. You pull a pot out of a cupboard and fill it with water. “How do you take it? Sugar? Cream?”

“Black. Like my heart.”

You let out that snnnrrrrk of a suppressed laugh again. What a nice sound. “Something we got in common.”

“Black heart or black coffee?”

“Yes.”

Such a simple, easy response. Not even particularly clever. But the delivery with no hesitation, no intonation, no second guessing the punchline. He laughs. “I knew I liked you!”

You glance over your shoulder at him. “You try to kill everyone you like? No wonder you have no friends.”

He hops to the edge of the table. Not an easy feat with only a stump. “C’mon, babe. All’s fair in love and piracy.”

Calling you babe was a blindfolded over-the-shoulder shot in the dark, but it lands. You add a smile to your glance. “I’ll give you that and nothing more.”

Somewhere, miles away, his heart flutters. He lets it. “Will you still give me coffee?”

“Only if you shut up ‘til this water boils.”

In this state, he’ll take any scrap of stimulus he can get. He bites his tongue and bites it hard, willing himself not to speak.

Silence creeps in. Silence leads to stewing, and stewing leads to bad thoughts. Bad feelings. Lonely feelings. Like how long it’s been since he’s had a friendly cuppa joe with someone. Or had someone honestly laugh at his stupid jokes.

Especially not someone as quick as you. Or as pretty. Or with such a nice ass. Or who maybe-sorta-kinda-might-possibly be interested in him. Potentially. Hypothetically.

There’s no damn way, he tells himself. You’re humoring him. You’re definitely shacking up with that cook — young, charming, handsome. Or the bounty hunter, maybe — tall, dark, broody.

You wouldn’t give him a second glance. Him, a pathetic, painted, big-nosed weirdo. Who is currently a severed head. A temporary state, but still not a good first impression. Even though his actual first impression was trying to kill you and your buddies. This second first impression is just as bad.

A sharp groan escapes him before he can stop it. He eyes you, expecting you to snap at him or worse.

But you don’t. You pause in your pouring to peer over your shoulder at him, gaze soft. “Y’alright?”

There goes his heart again. Ugh. “Peachy. That coffee done yet?”

You curl your lip. “What’s got your panties in a knot?”

“Just realized I’m gonna need a straw or some shit.”

Still sneering, you set a shallow mug in front of him. “I’ll see what I can find.”

See? You definitely don’t like him. Stupid fucking jackass, letting his hopes get up. This is what he gets.

…A nice, warm cup of coffee. If you really hated him, you wouldn’t have given him coffee, right? Or be looking for a straw?

You’re just humoring him. You just want to save your friend. Catch more flies with honey and all that. He’ll be more agreeable if you’re friendly.

Across the room, you open a drawer. “Hey, bendy straws. Perfect.”

You’re breaking out bendy straws for him? There’s gotta be something there! At least a little something!

No. No way. Coincidence.

You place an oddly long straw into the mug. He realizes it’s three normal ones jammed end-to-end, creating a pipe ending just about level with his mouth.

You just pulled some engineering shit so he can drink coffee with you. There’s definitely something.

An ice cube plops into the mug and you slide back into the booth with your own cup. “Might dilute it a bit, but can’t have you burning your mouth.”

His distant heart flips again. He has to say something. Before he can convince himself otherwise. He says the first thing that comes to mind.

“So,” he says, “‘kiss the clown,’ eh?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That’s the first thing he thought of? Seriously? He braces himself for boiling coffee thrown in his face.

You freeze mid-sip, brows raised. “Excuse me?”

Okay, you don’t look mad. “Don’t deny it, babe. I heard everything. Kiss Marry Kill? Nice job keeping it kid-friendly, wink wink."

You stare at him with those dark eyes. "No idea what you're on about."

"I know you know. And I know you know I know." He waggles his eyebrows, hoping for a laugh, but he gets nothing.

You watch the steam swirling up from your mug. "What do you want me to say, exactly? That I chose you to kiss?"

"I just wanna know what possesses a woman to make her want to shack up with the guy who tried to kill her and her friends." He lips the straw into his mouth and takes a test sip. Still quite hot.

"Circumstance. Process of elimination. Being put on the spot." You pick up the razor. Your fiddling with it belies your agitation.

"Don't lie to me, babe," he croons. "I can see right through you."

You stare at him. "And what is it that you see?"

What does he see? "A woman on a knife's edge of self-satisfaction and self-destruction. Once bitten, twice shy, but when he comes around the third time, you just can't help yourself."

Your fiddling becomes more insistent. You break eye contact to look at the razor. He's hitting on something. Time to push some buttons.

"You bet on the wrong horse every time. You think it'll be different this time. But it never is." He smiles bitterly. "Something else we got in common. Birds of one ugly feather."

Your gaze softens as you return your gaze to him. "So you found the problem, Doctor Headshrink. What’s the prescription?"

Shoot your shot, Buggy. "Kiss the clown and maybe we'll find out."

You're still for a few moments. Then slowly, carefully, you slide your hand across the table. You pull him closer as you lean lower in your seat to eye level with him.

He can't help the way his breath quickens. It's been so, so long since he had any kind of intimacy. Your reedy fingers trace his jaw down to his chin. Your thumb comes up to pull at his bottom lip, and he lets out a satin-soft whimper as he opens his mouth to you.

You strike like a snake, yanking his tongue out with one hand and readying your razor with the other. His choke turns into a scream as you bring it down, severing his tongue clean at the root.

It's one thing to disconnect body parts. Pop a leg off, drop an ear — he’s used to it. But it's a different story when said part is supposed to be inside of him. His tongue waggles like a fish as he tries to return it to his mouth, but you keep a firm grip.

"You can have this back in the morning," you say.

He wants to cuss you out, but what comes out is ew bihck, whadda fuhck iss won wif ew, gif ih bahck.

You laugh. And lord, what a laugh you've got. Loud, like a party gone late into the hours of the night. Clattery, like a dozen plates shattering on the floor. Full of mirth, like a drunk on payday.

And, for the briefest of moments, his rage is forgotten. He wants to make you laugh like that.

But it returns with a vengeance, replaced with a desire to see you squirm.

---

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#buggy the clown #buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy the clown x reader #one piece x reader #one piece #one piece live action #reader insert #x reader #all aboard the one piece train choo choo #emberly writes

[coleskingdom]

Want Me To Prove It

Will Ospreay x F Reader

Minors DNI NSFW

@midwestmade29 @madhatterbri

The tension between Will and I could be cut with a knife, the cat and mouse game had been fun, but I had made one snide remark and now you regretted ever saying it. The two of you had toyed with each other for weeks, the innuendos, then he had held a candy bar out of your reach, and the words that now haunted you when you said “ I don’t beg” his eyes flashed at the words, and a new game had begun.

“What do you mean we are sharing a room?” As he handed me a room key. “Why are you so nervous?” as he took my bag off my shoulder grazing my my arm as he did leading us towards the elevator. “ I’m not nervous just irritated, I don’t like sharing “ he stood behind me as he leaned in “Good neither do I” his low whisper felt on my neck I involuntarily shivered at his words.

I walked towards the room using the key to let us in. “ One bed seriously Will it’s one thing for us to be in a room together, but the same bed.” my eyes on his, “You’ve been in my bed before love, are you afraid I’m going to be a bit of naughty boy.” his grin made me weak in the knees. “ You’re not wrong but we’d watch a movie and then I’d go back to my room.” putting my phone down. “ Yeah and what would you do when you’d get back to your room?” his eyes on me, “Sleep Will, I’d go to sleep.” frustration and irritation in my voice, if he’d only knew the things I did and thoughts I had about him. Looking at him now though he looked as if he was reading my mind. “Y/N it’s one night, I’m just giving you a hard time, I’ll be a proper gentleman. I’m just giving you shit. I’m sorry if I took it too far.” his voice softer. “You’re fine, it’s me, I’m stressed and it’s been a rough day. It’s not your fault, I’m going to shower and get ready for bed.” reaching for my bag. “You haven’t eaten all day, I’ll order food, go shower, by the time you’re done. Food will be here and we can watch whatever you want.” he was always looking after me, but to be fair I was always looking after him as well.

I took a long shower psyching myself up that I was perfectly capable of sleeping next to that perfect man without it being an issue. He’s my friend, if I’m honest he’s my person. I put on my shorts and my favorite T-shirt messy bun my stomach in knots.

I opened the door, and there he was shirtless, and in those damn gray sweatpants that left nothing to the imagination. He brought in the food, and set it on the table, turning he sees me staring at him. “See something you want?” leaving the food and walking towards me my back against the wall.

“ I bet I can make you beg” Will’s eyes scanning you, you focus on his lips, where he’s peeking his tongue out a little bit.

“I don’t beg” your voice portraying confidence your body doesn’t feel as he leans in his elbows enclosing you against the wall

“ Want me to prove it then” his words your undoing as he leans into kiss me, his lips softer than I had imagined. He pulls back slightly to see if he’s misread the situation. I close the last inch parting our lips, teasing his tongue for a second before he seizes control, dominating the moment the way he always does.Tasting, sucking, nipping, devouring me. "You think I'll get right into it, don't you?" he humorously hums in my mouth. "Love.. I haven't even started yet. You've no idea what you're getting into with me. I'll make you beg for more even while you're coming undone.”He nudges my chin with his nose, hot lips latching onto the delicate skin of my throat, sucking, pecking, biting between words. My mind focuses on him, every sense starved for his words and touch..

“Will, please" my eyes find his, “Please what? Tell me and I’ll give you what you need.”his mouth on my neck still, “ I want you, I need you, I b….” His hands move so fast that I’m naked and on the bed with him over me my hands on the waist band of the sweatpants tugging them down , he manages to kick them the rest of the way off.

"What do you taste like?" he muses.The question isn't aimed at me. More like he's voicing his own thoughts, twirling his tongue over my pebbled nipple. He toys the other between his fingers, pinching, rolling, and driving me wild.

Satisfied with my hips arching off the mattress, pleading for more, he grips my thighs, pushes my legs back, then rests my ankles over his shoulders. The first tiny kiss to my mound forces the air from my lungs.

"You're trouble," I sigh. "Stop teasing." “Teasing is the best part, sweet girl”

Spreading me with his thumbs, he licks me slowly, bottom to top, dragging the flat of his tongue up and over my clit. And then he sucks. Hard. The move lights up my body and my thighs quiver in time with a surprised gasp.”You taste like mine." I grasp his hair, forcing him back down, and feel him smile against me.

"Greedy... needy... pretty

little thing." He punctuates every word with a thorough lick, and then... the show begins.

"Oh my," I mewl, fisting his hair.

"Will.” He doesn't respond with words.Instead, he slides one finger inside, timing the thrusts with the flicks of his tongue. He doesn't let me come when the orgasm looms close by. He eases off, kissing and biting my inner thigh as his hands knead my hips. He does it again but this time “ Y/N look at me, tell me how much you want to come.” eyes. “ Will please let me come.”His head drops down, torturing my clit with his tongue. I'm so ready for the orgasm it's mere seconds before it hits. I'm vaguely aware I've clamped my thighs around his head, holding him hostage as he licks me through the release.

"I've got you, love."He's suddenly closer, higher, his arms flush to my sides. He kisses me as in one long, slow thrust almost has me coming again. He drives himself home, letting out a low growl that forces my body into high alert.

"Fuck," he breathes, pressing his lips to my forehead. "So wet. So tight... so fucking mine.”His movements are slow, caring,tender. So slow so thorough that I feel every inch of him. His grip on my waist is nothing short of possessive. His thrusts calculated to drive me crazy. His light eyes filled with emotion, the pace is not frantic or mindless. Like with everything he does it builds to the moment every nibbling, biting kiss, every time he sinks into me, every push meticulous...as I come hard, tears fall from my eyes as I understand everything so clearly. Not changing the pace one bit as he drives himself home over again. The weight of his big body pinning me to the mattress magnifies how erotic this feels. How close we are. I feel him come inside me, the groan the restraint, the little moan as he buries his head in the crook of my neck.

My arms wraparound him keeping him there, for this moment it all makes perfect sense. I’m afraid of what I’ll see when the moment is over. “Y/N “as he turns his head into the side of my neck. “Yeah” my words not knowing what’s coming next. He rolls off of me , laying on his side, “ hey look at me, you don’t get to hide from me. If we need to talk let’s talk.” His hand brushing my cheek “ what if? “ I began “ What if what?” his tone gentle “ What if all of this just made perfect fucking sense, and I don’t know if I can go back to how we were before?” I hear him let out his breath as I close my eyes realizing the absolute truth and vulnerability in my words. “Y/N please open your eyes. Look at me, I don’t want to go back.”

#will ospreay x you #will ospreay x y/n #will ospreay smut #aew smut #will ospreay x reader #will ospreay fanfic

[hederasgarden]

The Signal

Summary: You take pity on Six after watching him suffer through a number of terrible dates.

Pairing: Sierra Six x F!Reader

Word Count: 706

Rating: Gen.

A/N: Based on this ask. Thank you @hoe-on-the-range for beta’ing and helping with the title.

"Back again?" You ask Six when you stop at the table to drop off menus.

"Seventh times the charm," he tells you dryly. "My…niece, she thinks I should get out more."

He sighs and rubs his temples, looking so defeated you can't help but put a hand on his shoulder. He tenses for just a second before he seems to force himself to relax. You withdraw your hand with a soft apology. You've been watching him since he started coming into the cafe two months ago. He’s often accompanied by his young niece, Claire, a dark haired girl that loves to sit in your section and pepper you with questions. Tonight Six is alone, waiting on another date. He always sits at the same table in the back of the restaurant and arrives obscenely early.

"Maybe this one will be different," you volunteer cheerfully.

"One of us should be optimistic," Six says, looking up at you for the first time.

He's incredibly handsome when he smiles at you. The goatee is a little questionable, but the blueness of his eyes and his quick sense of humor more than make up for it. You could tell most of his dates didn’t seem to know what to do with his quips, often giving him a blank smile or switching subjects. He didn’t have that problem with Claire; the two of them were constantly exchanging little barbs and jokes over lunch.

"What you need is an emergency out," you suggest. At his questioning look you continue, "like a friend to text you with a fake emergency so you have an excuse to leave a bad date."

"I don't have any friends," he tells you so matter of factly it makes your heart hurt a little.

"Well…I could be that person for you?" You suggest hesitantly. "You could give me some kind of hand signal and I’ll say your niece called the restaurant and you’re needed at home?”

Six stares at you for long enough without speaking that you’re actually a little nervous you offended him or overstepped a boundary. You fidget and move back, ready to apologize when he speaks again.

“What kind of hand signal do you suggest?”

“Oh. Something you wouldn’t normally do…maybe tugging on your ear?”

One brow lifts in response to your suggestion. He seems amused and you get the impression you’re missing out on some private joke.

“Alright,” he agrees.

You nod and tuck your tray under your arm, moving to check on your other two tables. When you glance back at Six a few minutes later he’s on his phone, lips pursed in concentration as he types something. The furrow between his brows is adorable. You smile and move to clear a table before dropping off the check to another. By the time you check on him another 15 minutes have gone by. He’s still alone even though you know his date should have arrived already. When he sees you looking he tugs on his ear and watches you expectantly. You make your way over to him, curious and a little confused.

“This a practice run? Where’s your date?” You question.

“I canceled it. What time do you get off?” Six asks, surprising you.

“In two hours.”

“Alright,” he says, sitting back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest. “I’ll wait.”

“Wait?”

“I’d like to take you out,” he tells you.

“Out?”

“This is going poorly,” he sighs, scratching his chin. “I’m trying to ask you out.”

“Oh. Oh.”

He continues to watch you, head tilted to the side. It takes you a full minute to figure out you haven’t actually agreed and are making things more awkward then they needed to be. “Yeah. Sure. I mean good. Let’s do it.”

“I appreciate your enthusiasm. This is already going better than the last six dates.”

“Well, I do love a low bar to clear,” you tell him, grinning at the way his lip twitches beneath his goatee. “While you wait, can I bring you anything?”

“Your number,” Six replies immediately. “And a glass of water.”

“Oh, that was smooth,” you concede. “Let me see if I can get off a little early.”

“I’ll be here,” he promises.

✥

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#sierra six x reader #sierra six imagine #court gentry x reader #court gentry imagine #court gentry x you #sierra six x you #sierra six #court gentry

[tacky-optic]

I've been cooking, folks. Grilling. Simmering. Boiling. Various other synonyms. About *JigZeni* of all things. My fixation ship just HAD to be a rarepair, didn't it?? I tried to condense pretty much all of my thoughts into one post and I might have gotten a *bit* carried away, oops. It's probably not THAT long, but still. I regret nothing.

- I imagine (in a general sense, headcanons aside, characters as base as can be) that if Lupin were to never make a move and continue with the coy "will we won't we" shit with Jigen and Zenigata, that they would get fed up to a point where they might attempt to seek solace with each other on a somewhat frequent basis.

It'd probably happen on accident at first; a chance meetup at a bar, the gang gets split up, Zeni has Jig cuffed in the back of a squad car just-another-day-of-the-week style, and one gets to talking while the other decides to humor for once. And I doubt either would be against chatting again after, and lord knows these two like their seedy bar trips, so why not let fate decide when?

- This can be to varying degrees of intimacy!! I love how all of the ships let you do that in some capacity, but JigZeni feels like one of the more flexible ones.

Whether it be as simple as complaining over drinks for a few hours or taking things a step further and heading back to some motel to "get it out of their systems" in "other" ways, ahem ahem.

Either way, they find that they enjoy the other's company and, to their abject horror, whatever weird friendship thing they've developed ends up turning into something genuine and (even worse) autonomous from Lupin.

Because what are they without him? What would they become?? They sure as hell don't know!! But hey, at least there's one other human being on this planet who GETS it.

- And I say that with relative confidence because I see Jigen and Zenigata being on the more (since a better word escapes me) *monogamous* side?? Like they put a lot of weight into a few singular relationships.

They have acquaintances, yes, but how many can they truly call a friend? How many can they trust, *beyond question*, to have their backs, to keep their secrets, to protect their lives, even?? Because trust is a big thing for these two!! Losing someone close hits them way harder than most, to a point where it's actively harmful and discourages them from pursuing anything concrete (also doesn't help that their luck with partners is absolute *shite* and things rarely ever end on a decent/ non-tragic note).

Jigen got SO lucky with Lupin. They ooze trust for each other, and the same goes for Goemon, too. And for a guy like Jigen, having not one but TWO whole-ass people he can depend on is absolutely WILD to him. They're all he needs, really. Zenigata still hasn't found something that concrete yet (on HIS side of the law, at least), and given the nature of the series and his role within it, there's an incredibly low likelihood he ever will.

But at least Jigen knows that pain. He's been there! He can relate! He can console! And Zenigata KNOWS it's legit because he's read, like, *so* many files about this guy. He's Lupin's not-that-much-better half ffs. Zenigata knows Jigen's Been Through It and the fact that Jigen even TRIES to relate despite his rough-ass persona really gets through to him in a way that no one else can.

- All of that baggage would bleed into why they're hesitant to blatantly pursue Lupin. Even though they know that Lupin CAN and WILL reciprocate (enthusiastically, even), Jigen and Zenigata, deep down, also know that he'd never be able to give "all of himself" to them like they are willing to for him.

Jigen is dissatisfied (probably even jealous) of Lupin and Fujiko's goings-on even though he knows it's a *consensual* sort of give-and-take, and you CANNOT tell me that Zenigata isn't the slightest bit jealous of Lupin's tight-knit camaraderie with his crew. "I could treat you so much better", "I wish I could have that attention all to myself" sorta vibes. Don't even get me STARTED on how the excluded party would feel about JigLup/ LuZeni, yeesh.

- Lupin loves them profoundly, no doubts there, but Lupin also loves *everyone*. Which basically turns into if they can't have all of *him*, then at least they can have all of *each other*, y'know??

Even if their friendship (or something more) lasting is impossible, at least they can pretend for a little while.

At least SOMEONE gets it, and that someone also happens to look pretty damn handsome in a fedora, too.

Plus Zenigata is Jigen's type. End of discussion.

now that you're down here in the trenches with me we can hold hands and enjoy overanalyzing hat trick together <3 <3

I DO wanna hear other people's thoughts, though! I can't help but think I'm missing SOMETHING despite writing them for so long (and there's only a handful of people out there who know I have been *writing them*, hooh boy). Hopefully I'll be able to get some of that stuff out there one of these days, but MAN am I a slow writer. Fingers crossed.

#ofc all of this would be instantly resolved if they agreed to the occasional fivesome like. once a month lmao. polygang is the easy answer #i rarely (if ever) do text/headcanon posts so lets see how this goes #anyway i am STARVED for these two interacting please give me food #lupin iii #koichi zenigata #daisuke jigen #jigzeni #*gazes longingly at tag* i'll feed you more content someday....

[eemcintyre]

"Seawolf: The Pirate's Curse" (2005) review

Surprisingly, honestly... why did I enjoy this? I guess after a couple of major misses for me in the form of "The Kidnapping" and "Beyond Forgiveness", my expectations were appropriately low, but this one actually had some likable characters and humor, and that always manages to rope me in. I have a soft spot for fun, silly action fare like this bc of childhood shows like "The Greatest American Hero", I think.

So, the title never makes any sense... what was it supposed to mean? what curse?

First and foremost, I must say TIG is looking oh-so-very pretty and rugged here- the necklaces, the bandanas, the curly-q hair, the tank tops, the sweaty, the ARMMMSSSS 😩

Initially had absolutely no clue what was going on in the beginning; a bunch of people with weird ass outfits in the dark and I was just like please no don't let that be him in the damn fucking cape and eyepatch and o n e l e g; I was like he can't possibly have one leg the whole time, right?? 🤨

But yeah I was definitely experiencing the "dear God what did I get myself into, cheers to another awful mess" 🫡🥂

Why does half the audio sound dubbed (particularly everything that comes out of Rachel's mouth)? Also props to Rachel for being the most emotionally unaffected person ever bc her reactions were so disproportionately calm to what would happen if my bf was constantly disappearing overseas and totaled my gorgeous pink car

We're getting some very Max Parrish-type hooting and hollering up in here; a concise summary of Thorpe is that he's basically if Max had a boat and was an alcoholic instead of a drug addict

We get another hallmark of TIG's movies with a slew of incredibly cringe one-liners that elicit a physical reaction of pain from me, but for every few there was actually a genuinely funny one here and there, so I'll allow it this time...

The whole "I'm a pirate, my father was a pirate, etc." speech had me ROLLING and NOT IN THE WAY THE WRITERS INTENDED I THINK BC HUH??

When he met Helene in that random room full of paintings I was sure we were supposed to take it that the mission was smth art theft-related. but no she just has a passion for maximalist design ig.

Why does the camera get randomly shaky for no reason? Very avant-garde of them

Am I the only one who thinks that Carlos looks like a Walmart George Clooney? Someone else pls tell me I'm not insane

Always throws me off-guard but it's such fun to see TIG in an uncharacteristically light scene like the one where he's dancing in the parade and surrounded by the circle of dancers in the bar. At least he seemed like he was having a good time in this movie 🎉

Ramon and his lil book and the bar scene of Thorpe and Helene drunkenly arguing w each other and sitting on the side of the road was what really started to sell me

anD THEN HE FKIN DR A G S HER ASS 😂

Plus I cannot go without mentioning my appreciation for the way he was holding her knee 👀💕

Love how he spends the majority of this movie just dressed like someone's hot dad who works out, in his cargo shorts, tank top and goatee- oH WAIT IT'S BC HE IS A HOT DAD WHO WORKS OUT IN REAL LIFE

Love how Carlos and all the other villains are devoid of personality or motive except for ~money~, like "the Colonel" doesn't even have a name!!!

Was genuinely stressed that my boy was going to clock himself in the head when he was swinging that rope trying to scale that building

When Helene straight-up PUNCHED HER SISTER IN THE FACE like these ladies have some beef and I need to know where it stems from

This film is another great example of TIG's grossly underutilized comedic potential- a là the map reading scene

Hilarious how Carlos just shrugs like "I don't care, whatever I guess" when who he believes to be Marlena says she wants to say a dramatic goodbye to Thorpe

Ok but how did he not die?? Thank goodness but how??

Even more hilarious how the Colonel, who has had nothing but hatred and murderous intent for Thorpe throughout, is just so touched by Thorpe's being a ✨ big softie with morals ✨ that his vengeful compulsions are soothed and he's content with taking the gold like "hey bro, we're square now <3" and just fuckin walks away

Good on them for giving the treasure back to Mexico

Was legit concerned for too long there that they weren't actually going to end up together and I was screeching

DO THEY ACTUALLY USE THE SAME SHOT OF THE BOAT AT SUNSET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE AND AT THE END?? lmaooo

Honestly, I think they could have leaned even more into the humorous aspect and the treasure hunt part of the film; made it a bit more of a National Treasure/Indiana Jones sort of thing, and I definitely would have liked some more character development, esp. for the sidekicks and villains, but overall, I award this film an unexpected 6/10. I had a good time 🙃🩷

#thomas ian griffith #the pirate's curse #seawolf #seawolf: the pirate's curse #jeffrey thorpe #film review #movie review

[animehouse-moe]

Mr. Villain's Day Off Volume 1: Surprising Heart Hiding Behind Humor

A story about a villain enjoying his days off from attempting to conquer the earth. Pretty simple, right? This first volume would agree with you, truthfully. It doesn't pretend to be something it's not, but rather looks to hone its edge into a fine point, keeping its scope narrow and adjusting only as needed to keep the reader engaged and interested. Makes it seem like there's not a lot to talk about, no? Well, you'd be really surprised as you get into it.

So, lets start off with the easy stuff: the art and such. It's pretty, relatively well detailed, and comfortably flexible. It checks all the boxes required for a story like this and then maybe a few more (the animals are drawn so well). My only real complaint in regards to it are: I'd love to see more background art used (it's really quite good when it's apparent), and I really want to see more shading in regards to the art as well. There's bits and pieces of shading to help emphasize certain moments, and I just think it's really pretty and nice in comparison to the default flatness. Just look at how the shading brings out the depth in Mr. Villain's back in this panel, and how much the background adds to it.

Another complaint that's somewhat separate from the art though is the paneling. The storyboarding, that is to say the flow of the story, is really solid. The paneling however can leave a bit to be desired sometimes. There's places where it's really solid and understands perfectly what it should do, like this stretch of plain rectangular panels that emphasize Mr. Villain's character acting, but there's also pieces that can feel rather standard. It's a shame as well because there's undeniable potential and ability with the storyboarding, but it just seems like the paneling hasn't quite caught up yet. In that regard I feel like I should comment on the fact that quite a bit of the paneling feels experimental. There's not any sense of consistency or discernable style in regards to it, as things like the chapter that the image is taken from is entirely comprised of rectangular panels.

Following up my (sort of) complaint with the art though, I really want to praise the character designs and acting in this volume. Simple yet unique and identifiable, they work really well in motion and with both smaller pieces of acting and exaggeration. Specifically in regards to that latter remark, the balance between realistic and exaggerated is really nice, with plenty of subtle and simple acting that can help accentuate the more ridiculous and comical pieces.

And does it ever get comical. Most of it is based off of the personalities of the characters and the seriousness with which Mr. Villain tackles his days off, but quite a bit of it stems from the character acting in the first place. It's not visual gags or puns or anything like that, but rather it's just exploring the range of emotions through all of his days off. Like this one.

Because of its focus on drawing out the simple and more benign comedic moments of daily life, and maybe just a little of the excessive, it maintains a balance in humor that I think is one that can last. It doesn't try to get you rolling around on the floor with every joke, but rather just a bit of a chuckle out of his daily experiences with a knee-slapper or two here and there. Keeping the bar low leaves plenty of potential in regards to the sort of humor you can play with, so I think it's a solid decision to leave it as a secondary element to this series.

So if humor's not the primary focus of this story, what would it be? Well, there's a few things really, with none quite taking priority over the other. First and foremost, we're following Mr. Villain on his days off, so I supposed you could call it a slice of life primarily, but I personally feel like it's more than that.

As this story goes on you notice something, the prevalence of children. It's not a "kids are cute so they should be shown" (though they are), but something a bit more than that. Mr. Villain is an evil alien hellbent (during his work days) on taking over the Earth, so his exposure to kids and the worlds they interact with is a core piece to this experience. It's all about Mr. Villain learning and experiencing the best parts of the world alongside children, as it's always said they look at things with such excitement and awe.

I think it's a super cute aspect to this story, that much like the setup of the comedy, provides confidence in its ability to last. It explores more than Mr. Villain's Day Off as the title may suggest, but how he interacts with and learns from children, how he helps and encourages them to grow, and how he falls more and more in love with the world that he's trying to conquer.

And just keeping the ball rolling on longevity, the idea of additional characters. We keep our recurring cast in this first volume somewhat light, but the idea behind teasing new and recurring ones pops up rather frequently. We have the Red Ranger, and two kids related to him, but we also see Blue mentioned rather frequently as well. Similarly, we slowly get more and more exposed to Mr. Villain's workplace and the group of people that inhabit it. The person that will continually question him about what he's doing on his days off, and the other high ranking generals within the organization are just two examples of characters that are consistently teased to play roles further into the future of this story.

So we reach the end. For people wanting a lighter series, but one that still has substance, direction, and desire, I don't think you can really do any wrong with Mr. Villain's Day Off. Everything it does speaks to a desire to provide the ability to stick around for a good while, but it doesn't trade off any sort of significance or purpose to achieve that. At the end of this first volume, my only complaint is the potential that the author is leaving on the table. They have some great art and work within, but it feels like some of it is limited by aspects like the paneling and whatnot. Regardless of my minor gripe however, I've thoroughly enjoyed it, and really cannot wait to see how the anime approaches this wonderfully warm and silly story.

#mr villain's day off #mr. villain's day off #休日のわるものさん #manga recommendation #manga reccs #manga review #anime and manga #manga #shoujo manga #shojo manga #shojosei manga #shojosei #shojo #shoujosei #shoujo

[theladyofdeath]

Rowaelin phone sex?

NSFW, 18+. Enjoy. :)

"What are you wearing?"

Aelin laughed, loud and obnoxious, unable to help herself. It was so cliche, such a genuine man question. They hadn't seen each other in three weeks now, due to Rowan being away at university and Aelin back in Orynth for her internship. After three weeks of simple phone and FaceTime calls, they needed something to get them through the separation.

Rowan's idea of that apparently began with, What are you wearing?

"Don't laugh," he said, although she could sense his humor. She already knew what he was wearing, having just gotten home from the gym and showered. His chest was bare, the sweatpants that sported his school’s logo riding low on his hips. His hair was damp and a complete, adorable mess.

Rowan had never been good at these types of things. Sex? Sure, the man was a god in bed, and everywhere else they had found themselves entangled throughout the years. But words? No. He spoke much better with his hands, with his body.

Which was one of the reasons why this long distance shit was stressing him out. Aelin knew it, too, which was why she leaned back, positioning her phone on the top of her laptop as she sat back on her bed so that he could get the full view.

He blinked. “I’ve been looking for that shirt.”

Aelin looked down at the old T-shirt from Rowan’s high school lacrosse days that read, Doranelle Hawks on the front and Whitethorn #11 on the back.

“Maybe you should be keeping better track of your stuff,” Aelin said, simply, with absolutely no shame.

Rowan laughed quietly. “Yeah, well, good thing I don’t because it looks a lot better on you than it does on me.”

Aelin didn’t even think the shirt fit him anymore. He had always been tall, but he’d packed on a lot more muscle in the five years since graduating high school.

“Especially when nothing is on beneath it?” Aelin asked, brow raised.

Rowan leaned forward, green eyes narrowed. “I won’t believe it until proven.”

Aelin wanted so desperately to roll her eyes, but his tone made his words far sexier. She had just drawn up her leg when a loud knock came to Rowan’s bedroom door.

He groaned. “Go away!”

Aelin could hear Lorcan’s muffled voice through the phone. She couldn’t help but laugh at Rowan’s grumpy expression. They’d known Rowan’s roommate since they were kids and he always did have the worst timing.

“Okay, great,” Rowan went on. Then there was a pause. Then, “Fuck off.”

He shook his head as Lorcan’s laughter faded away.

“Do I want to know what that charming exchange was about?” Aelin crooned, loving how the second Rowan looked back at his phone, his eyes darted to that bare leg of hers.

“He wants me to go to the bar. I told him I was busy.” He sighed. “He said to make the drive to bed you properly instead of flashing my dick on FaceTime…except he was far more vulgar about it.”

Lorcan was always vulgar about everything. But, then again, so was Aelin, so who was she to judge? “Sounds right, coming from a man whose girlfriend is five minutes away instead of five hours.”

It was meant to be a joke but as the words came out of her mouth, she was frowning.

Rowan’s voice softened. “A few more months and I’ll have my degree,” he promised. “Then I’m coming home to you.”

To you.

The words had heat flooding her body. When he was done with school, he would be moving into her apartment and they would finally be starting their life together. She would go to sleep and wake up beside him every day. It was a dream she’d had for years and it would soon be a reality.

“I can’t wait,” she breathed, and Rowan plopped back against his pillows as he said, “Neither can I.”

Aelin shifted on her bed, the thin fabric of Rowan’s old shirt nearly growing unbearable. She wished he was here, wished his hands were on her, wished he was about to be buried deep inside of her, but he couldn’t be. He could give her something, though. They could give each other what they could. “Until then…”

“Until then?” He asked, voice dropping low as he made himself comfortable.

“Talk dirty to me,” she begged.

Rowan huffed a laugh, but his voice stayed low, kept that tone that made her toes curl when he said, “Last time I talked dirty, you wouldn’t stop laughing.”

“I wasn’t laughing,” she protested.

Yes, she was.

Rowan slowly shook his head, his silver hair stark against his black pillowcase.

“Full of lies,” he muttered. “So naughty.”

“You like that about me,” Aelin said, pushing herself up on her knees, fiddling with the hem of his shirt that brushed her thighs. “My naughtiness.”

“Gods, help me, I do,” he agreed, voice going quiet as he waited in anticipation. “When are you gonna prove what’s under that shirt of yours?”

“Oh, so now it’s my shirt?” Aelin asked, loving to press his buttons. “Last time I checked, you’ve been looking for it.”

She inched it up just a little bit and Rowan’s eyes narrowed. “You’re cruel.”

Aelin grinned. “Don’t you like that about me, too?”

“I like it better when you’re nice,” he said, a small grin twisting his lips. “Obedient.”

“Obedient?” Aelin repeated, the hem raising just one more inch up her thighs. “And who is it I should be obeying?”

“Me,” he said, and she could tell by the way he shifted his weight that his sweats were tugged down and his cock was out.

Aelin thought about his cock, thought about the way it felt, it tasted in her mouth, the way it felt when he filled her. Gods, she missed it. Missed him.

“In this relationship, I’m pretty sure you’re the obedient one,” Aelin said, her heart beating a little faster as she noted his shoulder flexing, his arm moving. “Pretty sure you’re my bitch, Whitethorn.”

He laughed, quietly, resting his phone on his abdomen. She had the perfect few of his inked chest, his strong jawline. His gaze remained on her. “True, but there’s no need for you to tell me what to do. I know exactly how you like it.”

"Is that so?" Aelin asked, slipping the hem of his shirt above her waist.

Rowan tracked it as he nodded.

"And how do I like it?" she asked, raising it up her abdomen, stopping just beneath her breasts.

Rowan's eyes lit up. "Rough," he answered, simply, and he certainly was not wrong. "You like it when I bite and nip, and bury myself so deep inside of you that there's nothing left of me to give."

A thrumming formed between Aelin's thighs. She longed to touch herself but she wouldn't, not yet.

Instead, she pulled that t-shirt over her head and tossed it aside. She raised her chin before lifting herself up on her knees so that every bare inch of her could be seen. On the other end of the phone, Rowan went quiet. His lips parted and his eyes shone, as if it was the very first time he'd ever seen her, which it surely was not.

She gave him his time, let him explore with his eyes as he muted every longing want and need to do exactly what Lorcan had demanded - to drive five hours and bed her properly.

Then she slid her hands up her sides and palmed her breast as her other hand found that throbbing spot between her thighs. She circled that sensitive nub with her forefinger, a long, soft breath letting itself loose as she did so. Gods, how she wished it was his hands instead of hers.

She told him as much. "I can't wait until you're here," she said. "Until I can feel your hands on me."

"Me either," he said, the first thing he had said in a few minutes. His voice was rough, and the sound sent chills down her spine. "I can't wait to feel you. Every inch of you. With my hands, my mouth."

Aelin moaned quietly as she slipped a finger inside of her, then another. "Let me see you," she pleaded. "I need to see you."

Rowan repositioned his phone so that Aelin could see it all. He fisted his cock, and it was rock hard. Aelin felt powerful, then, knowing that she could make him just as hard five hours away as she could in person.

She wanted him more than she had ever wanted him, wanted anyone, in her life. The thought would have brought her to her knees if she wasn't already there. It made her fingers pump faster, made the hand palming her breast get a little more creative. She took her peaked nipple between her fingers and rolled it, thinking about how it felt to have Rowan's lips sucking it between his teeth.

"Ro," she breathed, the images of him doing the most erotic acts to her flooding her mind.

He cursed and she watched as he pumped himself faster.

He was beautiful and it was strange because Aelin had never thought that men were beautiful before she had been with Rowan. He was perfect, though, and Aelin grew hungrier at the sight of him, as his chest heaved. She wished it was her hand, her mouth, around his cock.

Soon, it would be.

She could feel that sensation building up in her core, that excitement that set her entire body aflame. Judging from the soft groans, from the string of filth coming out of Rowan's mouth, she knew that he felt the same rush of emotion.

"Fuck," Aelin breathed, her voice an octave higher as she used her hands in tandem, the fingers on one plunging deep inside of her, the other circling her clit. Rowan growled, and the sound alone had her practically screaming his name.

She watched as his movements grew spasmodic, watched as his chest heaved, that lovely string of curses from his mouth reviving her very soul. Soon, he came, and Aelin watched as his seed trailed down his hand and out of sight. She was just behind him, the sight of him cumming erotic enough to make her fade into nothingness. By the time her hands stopped moving, her sheets were soaked and she couldn't catch her breath.

Aelin took her phone from her laptop as she fell back against her bed, eyes closing. For a moment, neither of them said a word but Aelin suddenly felt lighter. She rolled onto her side before looking back at the phone.

Rowan was watching her with a small smile on his mouth, his eyes soft.

After all she had just shown him, this is what made her cheeks redden. "What?"

"The post-sex haze," he said, quietly, that smile remaining. "You're so beautiful."

A feeling of emotion so strong settled in Aelin's core and she had to blink back tears. This man...he was the love of her life. Soon, they would finally be reunited, finally have the time together that they deserve. The life together that they deserve. "I miss you."

"I miss you," he said, and she had no doubt that he meant it. "So much."

They fell quiet, watching each other through the lenses of their phones. There was nothing more to say that hadn't already been said. Instead, Aelin snuggled deep under her blankets and started to drift off when Rowan started speaking again.

She fell asleep, blissfully, listening to Rowan talk about their future together. Two months and he would be there, living life by her side and leaving this long-distance relationship far in the past.

#rowaelin #oneshot #drabble #fanfic #fanfiction #tog #throne of glass #sjm #drafts #prompts #rowan #whitethorn #aelin #aelin ashryver whitethorn galathynius #rowan x aelin #aelin x rowan #modern au #tara answers prompts

[bitchysunflower]

ok i think we all know about the incorrect quotes generator and I'm sad and that little website always brings me joy. so here are some steddie (and the gang) incorrect quotes! there's a lot of them because i have too much free time :D

Steve: Eddie and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Eddie: Sentences. Steve: Don't interrupt me.

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*steve visiting eddie in the hospital*

Steve: Must be hard not being able to laugh Eddie: I do have a sense of humor you know Steve: I’ve never heard you laugh before Eddie: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

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Steve: Change is inedible. Eddie: Don't you mean inevitable? Steve, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

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Steve: *Kicks the door down looking panicked* Eddie: What did you do? Steve: Nobody died. Eddie: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

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Steve: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine! Eddie: How can you still say that? Steve: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

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Steve: *Stubs their toe* FUCK! Eddie: Mind your language! Steve: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Eddie: Steve: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

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Steve: Can you keep a secret? Eddie: Do you know anything about my life? Steve: No I do not. Good point.

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Steve: Do you take constructive criticism? Eddie: I only take cash or credit.

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Steve: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen! Eddie: Really? Name one law Steve: Don't kill people? Eddie: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

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Steve: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Eddie: You need to stop.

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Steve: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Eddie: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Steve: No! Four to five seconds! Eddie: Too late!!!

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Steve: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Eddie: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

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Steve: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. Eddie: Wasn't Robin with you? Robin: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

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Steve, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! Eddie, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids Robin: what the fuck are you guys doing? Steve: playing systemic oppression

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Steve: I told Eddie their ears flush when they lie. Robin: Why? Steve: Look. Steve: Hey Eddie! Do you love us? Eddie, covering their ears: No. Robin:

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Steve: Eddie, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Eddie: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Steve: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Robin.

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Steve: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste Eddie: We got spring water Steve: NO. Robin: with EXTRA minerals Eddie: it's like licking a stalagmite Steve: DON'T COME HOME. Robin: Mmmmm cave water

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Robin: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Eddie? Eddie: … No. Steve: I do! Robin: I know, Steve. Steve: I’m sad! Robin: I know, Steve.

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Steve: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me. Eddie: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you? Steve: Yes! Robin: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

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Steve: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? Eddie: How am I supposed to know? Robin: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. Eddie: *sighs* Eddie: You wouldn't be trapped.

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Steve: While I’m gone, Eddie, you’re in charge. Eddie: Yes!!! Steve, whispering: Robin, you’re secretly in charge. Robin: Obviously.

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Steve: You have to apologize to Eddie Robin: Fine. Robin: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

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Steve: I know you snuck out last night, Eddie. Robin: Play dumb! Eddie: Who's Eddie? Robin: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

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Steve: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place. Eddie: You people already know too much about me. Robin: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

----

Steve, trying to ask Eddie out: Would you like to stay for dinner? Robin: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

----

Steve: Hey Eddie, Eddie: Yes? Steve: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Eddie: Eddie: Where’s Robin?

----

Steve: I trust Eddie. Robin: You think they know what they're doing? Steve: I wouldn't go that far.

----

Steve, about Eddie: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Robin: Are we stealing them? Nancy: New or used? Steve: Wonderful responses, both of you.

----

Steve: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? Eddie: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Robin? Robin: Probably “road work ahead”. Nancy: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

----

Steve, Eddie, and Robin are sitting on a bench Nancy: Why do you guys look so sad? Steve: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Nancy sits down* Eddie: The bench is freshly painted.

----

Steve: How did none of you hear what I just said? Eddie: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Robin: I got distracted about halfway through. Nancy: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

----

Steve: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Eddie: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Steve: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ROBIN WITH ME Nancy, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

----

Steve: I think we're missing something. Eddie: Teamwork? Robin: Cohesion? Nancy: A general sense of what we’re doing?

----

Steve, setting down a card: Ace of spades Eddie, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Robin, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Nancy, trembling: What are we playing

----

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Steve: Shit. Eddie: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Robin: OH MY GOD NANCY FELL OFF!!!

----

Steve: *Gently taps table* Eddie: *Taps back* Robin: What are they doing? Nancy: Morse code. Steve: *Aggressively taps table* Eddie: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

----

Steve: Eddie, I'm sad. Eddie: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Robin: Nancy, I'm sad. Nancy, nodding: mood.

----

Steve: Can I be frank with you guys? Eddie: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. Robin: Can I still be Robin? Nancy: Shh, let Frank speak.

----

#steddie #steve harrington #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #incorrect quotes #st fandom #steddie brainrot

[electricshoebox]

🥐🦋🪲?? 💜😊!!

Thank you my friend!! 💜💜

🥐 name one internet reference that will always make you laugh

oh god there are honestly so many we quote constantly in my house, but I'll go for a little less obvious and say the infamous TIFU Fiber One bar review. It made me cry laughing the first time and it still never fails to make me giggle. What can I say, I have a low brow sense of humor 😂

🦋 share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

Gosh... I guess lately just having a lot of thoughts about work, and what a healthy attitude toward work and a healthy balance of work and home looks like. For [Level 4 Friend Access Only] reasons, I have always been the type to drive myself into the ground, working until I literally collapse, too much overtime, etc. it's been a very long journey to doing less of that, but I still often feel like I don't know what's too much and what's not enough. But it did completely change my outlook when I started seeing work as renting my time, and not my time being something I owed them for paying me. So I guess it's on my heart to say: don't be me. Don't work yourself into the ground for a workplace that's looking to get the biggest discount on your time and labor they can, and treats you like they should be getting full quality work from you at a bargain. Give them what they pay for. Your life is so much more important than a job.

🪲 add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

Ehehe love the gentle productivity nudge. All right, here we go, Deacon and Glory under cover in the Institute:

Deacon forces himself to follow Glory's example, walking behind her with eyes forward. As if he’s been surrounded by fountains every day of his life. As if he’s seen all these people passing around them before, and all their white coats and stainless jumpsuits. Just another normal day.

[Send me an emoji and I'll answer a question!]

#ask memes #the eye of the storm

[trekwiz]

I used Tumblr's feedback function about the recent changes. But, fuck, it was hard to get it short enough. It had to be under "5,000" characters--but the system's broken so it required me to get it to around 4,700. I don't think the short version makes as much sense, but I'll provide it under a cut. And I'll follow with a long version.

You want to drive engagement: that means being more fun than nuisance.

We hate snoozing Live. Disrespecting users' preferences and giving busy work means you'll never convert us to Live users: you've only built resentment.

Some users turn off push notifications for being annoying. What does Tumblr have that requires urgency? A friend who needs a ride to the ER is not asking on the fun meme site. When you push notifications, it's your decision to get my attention, instead of my choice. There's no way to spin this as a positive.

The persistent banner in "Activity" warning that notifications are off, is a rude reminder that you feel entitled to my attention. Your intention to SPAM users like me is worse, but we're the kind of users who are also motivated to click “Report Spam” to hurt your domain score in retaliation.

Users hate algorithms. Most users turn off “in your orbit” etc. They made your site harder to use--it's confusing and awkward to see posts of unexpected origin. I had a look at the separate feeds, but I haven't used them again. The chronological feed is more appealing.

Users don't want your vision of condensed reblogs. You'll destroy popular memes that only work in the current format, such as the speech bubble gag. You will lose users if this humor is tough or impossible. 2 better ways of rolling this out: 1. Offer it in the editor, like polls. Users will choose when threaded is better. 2. Offer a toggle on posts. This allows threads to be viewed when it makes sense.

Users like duplicate reblogs. This is social bonding, unique to Tumblr. duplicates show which mutuals share your tastes. The joke about seeing the same post shared by 5 mutuals is endearing, not derogatory.

Be more thoughtful with your ads. You have a lot of LGBT users. Why show ads from a hate organization like Chik-Fil-A ads? It's very offputting.

Don't "fix" the things you do well; improve where you're doing poorly.

Search needs work.

Users who remove their blog from search are confused when they can't use the search bar inside their blog. They turn on favorite tags which can't be used in that case. It would help to have an option to enable search only from within the blog.

Search is inconsistent. I can type a whole post from days ago, with no results. It's not clear why some posts aren't searchable.

I want duplicates in my feed, not search.

Sometimes I lose a post after an accidental refresh. An option to search blogs I follow would help.

Add search to the follower/ing lists. And if you follow someone called 1Funny1 now, it would help to know that they were NotJoking8 when you followed last year.

Fixing search might seem low impact. But it's probably the one thing that will stop users from calling the site broken. That will encourage new users to join.

We want a "mutuals" badge. You're mimicking the worst parts of social media, but we love friend lists. An indication of who's a mutual is helpful. It should increase engagement as well!

Your hate speech policy needs improvement. The bar to remove LGBT-phobic content is too high. The "mundane political speech" has deadly consequences. Allowing LGBT-phobic content if it's "not extreme" normalizes attacks on our human rights--you're influencing public policy by treating these ideas as if they're civil, despite the harm. And we deserve a place to escape the hate.

Next, there are better ways to spotlight content. You could build a tab for curation. 3 kinds: 1. Official Tumblr Curators 2. Sponsored Curators ($), and 3. User Curators. Users should be able to select which type they see at any time. This should include categories for browsing, and search. They should highlight bloggers, especially creators. This allows users to find new content organically, instead of being forced--this is a marketable feature.

For revenue: Editor+. A robust text editor that matches Google Docs, etc, with unique Tumblr enhancements, like a way to favorite gifs and emojis for faster use, and a meme generator--something that fits the most common meme formats but allows quick insertion of text and graphics. Those exist elsewhere, but integration is convenient. That means value to the user.

You should also leverage the Marketplace better. Gifting would be great for digital products. Send DoorDash gift cards, or gift an online watch party or music through Tumblr. The Marketplace is a lot more appealing if it can include useful services.

Closing thought: after a bonus at work, I was about to go ad-free. But the announced changes will be more nuisance than fun: I can't imagine staying here if you make the site unusable. These are obvious errors that will decrease your userbase, and it's surprising that you didn't immediately realize this.

[fangirleaconmigo]

Both Unwanted Daughters

Yennefer x Renfri. Rated mature for references to Renfri’s past.

Here is what I imagine would have happened if Yen came to Blaviken instead of Geralt.

—-

Yennefer pretends she does not sense the wild woman in the smoky tavern approaching her. But she does. She has no choice.

The woman’s chaos is like frenzied sparks broken free of a wildfire. The warmth skitters across Yennefer’s skin. She has to focus to prevent herself from visibly reacting to it.

When she raises her eyes and gets a real, proper look at the woman, she reacts anyways, with a sharp intake of breath.

Yennefer has grown inured to beauty. In her world, beauty is an object created for display. It is one tool among many, used to impress and manipulate people. After decades of attending lavish parties with caviar illusions, false white smiles, and finery created with the burnished skin of endangered species, she has forgotten what it feels like to be awestruck by beauty.

Actual beauty.

Beauty that does not exist to be observed. Beauty that roars to life, streaked with dirt and clad in audacity, and sinks its claws into your flesh.

The woman swaggers closer still, her scabbard slapping softly against her hips. The way she moves suggests that her slight, gently curvaceous body is far more powerful than it looks. The table full of craven thugs she has just left in the corner studiously avert their eyes.

“Madam Yennefer of Vengerberg.” Her eyes glitter with a mocking humor. She bows so low that her honey brown curls tumble forward, momentarily obscuring her face.

“What do you want?” Yennefer demands sharply, pretending to be very interested in her cup of wine.

It isn’t true that Yennefer feels nothing in the face of beauty. Dangerous beauty. Ungovernable beauty.

She feels plenty. She feels irritated.

“Well.” The woman smirks and leans rakishly against the bar. “I love a girl who gets right to the point. My name is—“

“Princess Renfri of Creyden.”

Princess Renfri’s eyebrows shoot up. She is surprised, but pleased. “How did you know?”

“I know about every political intrigue that happens in the North.”

Bitterness briefly clouds Renfri’s face. “Is that what it is called in your world when a man rapes you and tries to kill you?” She aims a scornful glance at the sorceress. “Political intrigue?”

Yennefer cannot help it. She snorts. She is not given to snorting. But it is so childishly naive and stupid.

“Just barely.”

“What the shit is that supposed to mean?”

Yennefer shrugs. “You are not a proper heir. So, I would call it minor political intrigue.” She waves her hand casually. “And you only qualify as that much because in recent years, the exploits of Meve and Calanthe have convinced a few powerful men to pay more attention to disaffected little girls.”

Renfri does not like disaffected little girls and her eyes blaze. But Yennefer pretends not to notice.

“Your situation is worth, at most, a mention near the end of a meeting, just when things are wrapping up and people try to cram in the smaller matters that do not actually warrant conversation.”

Renfri’s face hardens. Her body bunches up and her anger is raw. It infects the flavor, there is no better way to describe it, of her chaos. It tastes exactly like the thing that she is—-an unwanted daughter with a weeping infected wound. It is too familiar. Yennefer feels it like a stab to her soft fleshy underbelly and she has to harden herself to mirror the anger she sees in the princess.

“And who the fuck are you to speak that way about me?” Renfri demands.

Yennefer spins on her stool and looks at her defiantly. “Even less. If you are minor political intrigue, then I am what minor political intrigue shits out. Unlike you, I have never had a throne to lose. Unlike you, I have nothing to reclaim. There is no greatness awaiting me with open arms. I was born into pig shit and thrown out with the refuse. How dare you ask me for anything?”

Yennefer can feel heat creeping into her voice, so she stops abruptly and turns back towards the bar again.

Renfri blinks, clearly taken aback. Clearly considering the twist the conversation has taken. Yennefer drinks her wine. She nods at the bartender to indicate that she is finished with her plate.

“I misjudged you.”

Yennefer ignores her. She is still trying to stifle the emotion that sent the heat into her voice.

Renfri stands and watches her in silence. It should feel awkward. Dishware clinks and men sit at tables telling foul jokes. And Renfri is silent.

Yet it isn’t awkward. Once Yen is calmer she feels a tinge of regret. Her anger is misplaced. Misdirected. Renfri hasn’t done anything wrong.

“Wait,” Renfri says, breaking the silence. She has just thought to ask something. “How did you know I was her? You’ve heard the stories. But how did you connect them to me?”

Yennefer glances over and looks her up and down. “Only a Princess would be so utterly, comically shit at tailoring the clothes she stole off an oversized thug.”

Renfri chuckles. Her shoulders have loosened now. She thinks they are on the same side. That is dangerous. They are not on the same side.

“You lie like a fox, Lady Yennefer. I look dashing.” She pulls down her vest and pats her hips as though to make sure everything is still there.

Despite her best efforts, Yennefer’s eyes follow the movement of her hands, lingering just a precious beat too long on her waist. On the spot where it swells elegantly into her hips. Renfri’s lips curl into a smug smile.

Yennefer yanks her eyes away but Renfri has smelled the blood in the water. She leans against the bar, sliding closer, until Yennefer is forced to look directly at her again.

“So that is how you knew I was a princess? I look like utter shit?” Her voice is sing song and mocking.

Yennefer rolls her eyes. “That and the squad of goons at the table who obviously defer to you. What other wild woman roams the countryside looking deranged and commanding an assortment of idiots with clubs and daggers?”

Renfri laughs again. It is throaty and self assured. There is nothing calculated about it. No wonder they fucking hated her at court.

“Now that you have confirmation that I am a princess, are you intrigued, Lady Yennefer?” Her eyes slide from Yennefer’s face down her neck. She wets her lower lip. “Tell me. Have you ever wanted to bed a princess? In your very long life?”

Yennefer purses her lips and ignores Renfri’s attempt to goad her about her age. “Just tell me what you want. I don’t have time for games.”

The smile does not leave Renfri’s lips but she grows serious. “Alright. I need your help.”

“That’s better. I prefer honesty.”

Renfri laughs. “I was being honest. I would kill to make those enchanting violet eyes flutter closed in ecstasy-“

Yennefer holds up her hand. “Stop. Just tell me what you want so I can tell you no, and so you can leave me in peace, disgraced, feral, exiled Princess Renfri of Creyden.”

Just as she did not respond to Renfri’s attempt to goad her, Renfri manages not to take the bait.

“Fine,” she responds. She lowers her voice and scoots closer still. Yennefer can no longer see her cup of wine because her entire view of the bar is blocked by Renfri. She turns the full force of her doe eyes on Yennefer. They are light honey brown like her hair, shot through with green.

“You are in town to meet with Stregobor. And I want to kill him.”

Yennefer blanches.

“That frightens you?”

Yen carefully returns her expression neutral. She thinks quickly.

She is there to meet Stregobor because after twenty years of clawing and scraping and scheming, she is finally on the precipice of being appointed to the Council. Stregobor, who has always disdained her, but who she has thoroughly outmaneuvered, is her final hurdle to being seated on the council.

It is a done deal. A formality. But Yennefer is wise enough to know that done deals can unravel at the last possible moment.

She cannot afford to go into this meeting ignorant of a crime Stregobor has committed. She must know what his vulnerabilities are. Who his enemies are.

Whatever the contemptible, awful little toad has done to Renfri, Yen can use that information to curry favor with him. Or to manipulate him. Or to blackmail him. She doesn’t know yet. But information is power. And the fact that she doesn’t know why Renfri of Creyden wants to kill him is an unacceptable, even shocking, lapse in information and power.

She must get the princess to share. To speak freely. She must make sure her appointment goes off without a hitch. So, Yen goads her again, but hopefully in a less obvious way this time.

“Not frightened. Just surprised. Stregobor is so respectable. So highly regarded. It simply surprises me that he could have done something to deserve death.”

“Liar.”

She speaks the word as though it is real. But she seems amused. Like Yen’s lie is a joke they are both in on.

“What did he do?” Yen repeats.

Renfri casts her eyes down, then looks up fetchingly.“I will tell you, but it will take some time.”

Yen leans forward as though she is telling her a secret. They are so close now that she can feel Renfri’s breath on her. “I have time. I don’t meet him until tomorrow.”

Renfri considers for a moment. “May I join you for dinner? In the private luxury suite you have no doubt rented for the week?”

It is both the worst and the best idea that Yennefer has heard in ages. It is a dangerous game being seen with a woman who wants to kill the man with final approval for her appointment to the council. But she can use any information she gains to her advantage.

Any desire, any deep burning want she feels for the princess is entirely incidental.

“Shall I change into court attire?” she teases. I have never had a private dinner with a princess.

Renfri smiles and drags a finger down a lock of Yennefer’s hair. She watches the soft, shiny lock slide between her fingers. “Actually, the less attire the better.”

She barely has to move. It is just a subtle lean.

And they are kissing.

——

I have been dreaming of writing this fic for probably the past year and a half. Then I heard The Calling, off of The Amazing Devil’s Ruin album. And I thought oh. This is Yen and Renfri. And I started writing.

I will probably work on it here and there until it is done. But since I know it is really almost exclusively for me (not many Yenfri readers) I will take my time. But I’m putting my whole heart into it.

#the witcher #yennefer of vengerberg #renfri of creyden #descarada writes #descarada writes yenfri #the amazing devil lyrics as fic titles #yenfri #the calling #the amazing devil #yennefer x renfri #Renfri

[babykangaemoji]

Tell me you love me already - Dieter Bravo x f!reader

Heeey so this is super fluffy, angsty and a slow burn! It’s my first time writing something like this soooo, lets hope I’ve done it justice! The timeline is kinda whacked as well so sorry, this is set before, during and after the bubble. 

I decided to not put smut in, it just didn’t feel right. Probs will do a silly sequel where we get a glimpse of what life is like after this n it’ll be smutty.

WORD COUNT: 11.7k (I got carried away) RATING: M 18+ NO MINORS!! There is no explicit smut, but adult themes! 

SUMMARY: You and Dieter have been friends since the day you met, but Dieter has always wanted more than that, he watches you go through different people, getting your heart broken and then when Dieter thinks he falls in love, nearly loses his life, it all changes. 

WARNINGS: bi!dieter, bi!reader, actress!reader, dieter gets sober, swearing, drug use, slow burn, alcohol, over dosing, bad treatment, heartbreak, cheating. 

You had met Dieter when you worked on a project that was low budget, but as an up and coming artist, you didn’t turn down the opportunity to work with an actor like Dieter Bravo. It was only a small thing, just a short film about nothing that interesting but this could be a big move for your career, it was obvious Dieter didn’t want to be there and was just doing this to help his public image, after all, a big actor working with unknown actors, looking as if he was genuinely wanting to help them find stardom? People like that shit. 

Dieter had noticed you as soon as you walked on set, your eyes bright, cheeks full and you came across so… genuine. You two had hit it off straight away, the same sense of humor, you bonded over the donuts, Dieter even sharing half of the last one with you. Your agent then called you that night to tell you not to get too close to him due to his reputation but you didn’t listen. 

He had never wanted to just... kiss someone more. He didn’t even feel like he wanted to just completely rip your clothes off and have his way with you (not that he didn’t, he definitely did) but something about you just felt different. He couldn’t get enough of being around you, he knew he cared for you more than he should just from the first day of working together but Dieter was an indulgent man and indulge he would.

You became friends quickly, Dieter didn’t try to pull his normal shit on you to bed you like he would with anyone else. He wanted to be careful with you, like he didn’t want to do anything to scare you away. 

This project would end up being the only thing Dieter ever watched of his own shit, just to see you whenever he could. He was lovesick from day one.

OCTOBER 2018

“Ugh! I hate boys!” You shouted, as you slammed a cupboard door in Dieter’s stupidly large kitchen, you had got a large wine glass, which you doubt had ever actually been used, and poured yourself a very large glass of white wine. 

“I know you do, fuck Tristan” Dieter grumbled from where he was sat at his breakfast bar, you turned round to see him tapping his nostril. 

“First, this one is called Sam and second, you know I hate when you do that around me” you mumbled quiet, taking a sip of your wine, watching him slide a small baggie of white power away from him. 

“Sorry baby, shit day on set… also where did Tristan go?” he asked, looking over the sunglasses perched on the end of his curved nose. God you looked good like this, low cut vest top and a pair of comfy sweats that just so happened to belong to Dieter. You always stole his clothes when you came over, normally because you wanted to just be comfortable, but part of you just liked feeling him close to your skin. 

“Tristan was before Sam but after Willow…” you huffed, leaning over the counter in front of him. He dropped his sunglasses onto the counter. You took another sip of your wine, Dieter taking a drink of his tumbler of whiskey. 

“Why don’t you ever just date someone older?” he said. Which caused you to snort with laughter, Dieter pulled a face that looked as if you just rejected him. You kind of did without even realising it. 

“What, someone like your age?” You teased, he pouted playfully.

“Shut up. I’m only… 19 years older than you” he said, the final words coming out slower as he came to his relisation of just how big the age difference was. “Fuck it, whatever, so why did Tris- shit, Sam piss you off?” 

And he sat there, listening, watching you rant about the boy, drink your wine, just like he did, nearly once a month after a new person you had met, dated a couple of times and said you thought might be the one before they ultimately pissed you off. Dieter would do it again and again, just so he could be near you, see you,  even if hearing you talk about these other people romantically made his heart ache. He knew you’d never want him, he knew he was too old for you, he knew you weren’t interested in him like that, you had said you saw him like family, which let him know you definitely did not reciprocate the feelings in his chest. 

But neither did you. You didn’t know you would eventually fall in love with the man before you. 

DECEMBER 2018

“Dieter!” you squealed, running up to your friend and throwing your arms around him from behind, nearly knocking the wind out of his lungs. 

“Fuck! Ow!” He yelled, you laughed as you moved round to his front and hung off his neck, grinning up at him like an idiot. He knew that grin, you were drunk, I mean, who wasn’t right now? Dieter had taken you to an awards event as his plus one, then he had brought you to an after party at some rich hollywood stars mansion house, which had an open bar courtesy of the host. 

“Shh I didn’t hurt you, old man” you teased, he huffed. One of your hands moved to trail down his cheek. “You’re so handsome” you hummed. Fuck. He tried to keep his eyes trained on your face but they kept falling to your lips. “Y’know, if you were younger, I’d date you” you admitted. It caused his emotions to burst, both with joy and with pain at the same time. You’d date him. You would date him. Only if he was younger. Fuck why couldn’t he just have been born a little later? 

“You are very drunk” he stated, not resisting to nuzzle your hand that was caressing his cheek. 

“And you’re high, what’s ya point?” you said, tilting your head to get a better look at his face. You had always thought he was attractive, how could you not? His strong nose, his soft eyes and not to mention his smile and the way his whole expression lit up when he did. 

“You want some?” he asked, his face beaming. You rolled your eyes and shook your head. 

“No Bravo, I’m good. I could go for another drink. I swear I had a sexy date round here to go fetch my drinks…” you said, sighing, you tipped your head to the side. “Know where they got to?” you teased. Wait, were you flirting with him?  

Before he could answer, your name was being shouted by a group of people from somewhere across near the dance floor. 

“Oh! This song is my shit! See you later Diets!” you squeezed his neck, and before he could process what was happening, you pressed your lips to his quickly, before running off towards the people to start dancing and incredibly badly shouting the lyrics to the song currently booming through the party. 

Dieter stayed still, you hadn’t even kissed him properly, just pressed your lips to his for a fleeting second but fuck did it make his heart race. He had to get out of here, but he couldn’t leave you here alone, his fingers briefly touched his lips as if trying to feel you lingering there. He turned around walking towards the bathrooms, walking into one of his buddies and Dieter gave him a pill to take before taking his own. This would take the edge off and help him forget the kiss, not real kiss. 

The next time Dieter saw you that night, you had some girl in your arms and you were kissing her like he wanted to kiss you. Your lips moving together in a fever as if you wouldn't survive again if you didn’t drink down this woman in front of you, she was beautiful, just like you, Dieter thought. He wondered for a second if he was just really high but he knew he wasn’t, he wished he was high enough to not remember this but he knew he would. He watched as you lead the girl off through the crowd, disappearing right in front of him. 

He had to leave, but he didn’t want to leave alone. He wanted to leave with you, but you had very different plans. So, Dieter found some pretty thing at the party who fawned over him and his career to forget about all his problems, to forget about you, that tiny, meaningless kiss and about that girl. 

He woke the next day, to that girl naked in his bed, rolled over onto her side. He had a splitting headache, reaching over to grab his phone from the bedside to check the time. It couldn’t of been any earlier than 10, he didn’t get home until nearly 3am and you’d already left the party. 

He clicked his phone, 11:38 am - 1 message. 

“Took girl back, sorry for ditchiing early - lvoe u” from you. Fuck. 

At least you were home and safe. 

Dieter hadn’t forgotten about that kiss, he presumed you would be too drunk to even remember, he was right, you didn’t, it would be until a few years later, that you would be reminded of it. 

—

 EARLY MARCH 2019

You had been dating Lily for little over three months and you were absolutely enamored with her. She was beautiful, elegant and confident in her own skin. You had thanked Dieter multiple times for bringing you to that awards event, otherwise you wouldn’t have met her. He’d just grumble out a “you’re welcome” which wasn’t unlike Dieter. 

You had decided to bring Lily along to a dinner you were having with some friends, Dieter was going to be there and you wanted to have them meet properly, Dieter was your best friend now and it was important to him that your new girlfriend met him. So you walked up to your friend's front door, hand in hand with your fingers laced with the amazing woman next to you, knocking excitedly. 

Your friend opened the door, giving you both a quick hug and leading inside her home to her kitchen at the back. 

“Is Dieter here yet?” you asked, your friend turning her head to you. 

“Oh did he not tell you? Can’t make it. Work commitment or something” she said, as she poured you both large glasses of alcoholic iced tea. Your heart dropped, he had told you that morning he was coming, also, a work commitment was bullshit, you knew Dieter and you knew that was his go to excuse when he didn’t want to do something.

“No. He didn’t.” you said, slightly annoyed. Lily squeezed your hand, instantly helping you to soften. 

“It’s okay baby, maybe next time” she assured, taking her cocktail. She was right, she could meet Dieter next time. You would just try to enjoy the rest of your night. 

Meanwhile, Dieter was in his large and incredibly empty feeling mini mansion home. Blow on the table, a girl laid out naked on his couch smoking a blunt he just rolled her, a glass of whiskey in hand as he popped a pill in his mouth, using the drink to wash it down. 

A hand came down to run over his bare chest, a pair of lips running along his neck as he laid his head back the young, handsome man behind him. He was licking up the shell of his ear, his tongue running over the earring that dangled from Dieters lobe.  Dieter turned his head to press his lips to the mans next to him, no matter who he kissed, who he fucked or who fucked him, he always found himself wishing it was you. 

This was just a temporary distraction from his feelings, from the new girl in your life who has stuck about longer than the rest. These people in his house right now didn’t know him like you did, even with company he felt lonely. His phone buzzed, Dieter pulling away from the kiss to check it. 

1 message.

 “Why didn’t you show tonight? You okay?” You. He couldn’t do this right now, he turned off his phone, throwing it on the floor, doesn’t need it messing with his brain waves anyway. He turned to look at the girl on his large couch. 

“Get over here and suck my cock whilst I suck his” he demanded, she didn’t hesitate. That’s how he spent the rest of his night, trying to forget about you and your new girlfriend. 

JUNE 2019 

Well, Dieter didn’t get a fucking choice now. He was finally going to have to face your girlfriend. Lily. The girl from the party. Fuck why did he have to invite you? If he hadn’t, you wouldn’t have met her and you wouldn’t have ended up in a relationship. 

He’d just hung up the phone with you, you had been cast in your first major blockbuster film, all thanks to his agency. Dieter had got you signed up a couple of months ago, they needed a reliable client since Dieter was in fact, not a reliable client, but he made them money so they kept him around. 

He had stupidly said you could use his home for a mini party to celebrate, you ran in a similar friend circle anyway, plus it would only be a few people. Plus he had a pool and a well stocked bar. And drugs. Yeah, the drugs would get him through. You had told him just before you hung up that Lily would be coming and he instantly wanted to cancel, but knew he couldn’t. 

He rang his PA, asking them to order pizza’s, your favourite kind, which he knew off by heart. Asking them to make sure he had plenty of beer in the fridge as well as starting the firepit outside. He reluctantly shrugged off his green robe and threw it over his couch, pulling on a knitted jumper, shoving on his crocs and putting his rings back on. He shoved a few of the plates in the sink and before he knew it, people were in his space, outside round the pool and the firepit. 

He had done a couple of bumps of coke, as normal, started off a bong for people to pass around, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes when Lily took it. You watched her with a giggle on your face, fuck he hated that she made you react like that, why didn’t you look at him like that when he took a hit from a bong? 

Dieter had made polite conversation with Lily, trying to not show that he had this dislike for even though she was nothing but kind, sweet and polite to him. She completely respected him and your relationship, but he was jealous and jealousy can turn a person against you very quickly, without even really knowing them. 

It was getting late in the evening, there was a chill in the air, Dieter was pleasantly buzzed as he walked through his backyard, through his patio doors into the kitchen to grab another bottle of whiskey. He stopped in his tracks when he saw you reaching up into his cupboard, trying to grab down a large bag of sweet popcorn. You were wearing his green robe. The one he threw over the couch earlier, and you looked… fucking beautiful in it. How could you make something so old and tatty look so gorgeous?

You turned your head hearing the feet behind you. “Dieter! Thank fuck you’re here, I want snacks but can’t reach them! Could you grab em please?” you asked, your slight slurred tone letting him know you were definitely tipsy. 

“Why are you wearing my robe?” he asked, completely ignoring your request. You looked down, shrugging, and then doing a twirl in it, fuck sake. You were far too sweet for this world. 

“Oh, it looked comfy and I’m a little cold. Sorry I can take it off”

“No! No, keep it on. You’re okay” he said quickly, walking over to you, grabbing the snacks you wanted. “Here” he mumbled, standing a lot closer to you than he should have. 

“Sorry you know what I get like when I’m high, horny and hungry” you laughed.

“The three H’s” he hummed. 

You were looking up at him with big eyes, full of love and care, it set a fire off inside of him, you were standing here, wearing his robe, inches away from his face… he would have swore he saw your eyes flicker to his lips. You swallowed thickly, making eye-contact with him, and he thought If he just dipped his head down a bit he could-  

“There you are baby! I wondered where you ran off to” he heard that chirpy voice, both of your heads snapping towards the direction of the door, breaking you out of the trance like state you’d felt you’d just been in,  you jumped back a little. Looking over at Dieter quickly, before turning around to walk towards your girlfriend. “Hey Dieter” she said as she came up to wrap her arm around your waist. 

Dieter put the snacks down on the kitchen island, before turning around to walk out of the kitchen without a word. 

“What’s his problem?” Lily asked you, you looked up at her, shrugging, as if you hadn’t just stood there, looking at your best friend, with an overwhelming urge to grab him and crush your lips to his. “Baby, you okay?” she shook your shoulder. 

“Oh, yeah, sorry, he’s just grumpy” you made an excuse for him. Lily tugged at the robe around your shoulder, she asked who’s it was. You said it was yours and that you left it here a few weeks ago, she didn’t question it. You weren’t sure what you just lied to her about who it belonged too. 

—

NOVEMBER 2019

You were out in Greece filming your new movie, Dieter had come to visit you on the set of your new film. 

He needed a break from the world, he often felt like that after a new project he had worked on came out, his latest film, Hunger Strike, had done incredibly well and there were even rumours he was in line for an Oscar. He had pressure from his agents, his PR teams, his PA, fucking everyone to keep his piblic image clean so he could be in for a chance to even be nominated. So he needed a break and when you suggested he came out to see you, he was on the next available flight. You were the only person not putting pressure on him, he could be himself around you, you were the perfect holiday from all the bullshit. 

He had been here all week, taking advantage of the private villa the film crew had rented for you, using your pool, lounging around and just spending the time shutting himself off from the world. You had managed to get him some paints and a book from the art department of the film so he had something to do. You tried to suppress the way it made you feel when his face lit up with joy and he hugged you tight enough he could have popped your head off your shoulders. 

But right now, you were sitting on the balcony, looking over the sunset, enjoying the few short hours you had left with your best friend before he had to fly back home. 

“Can you believe I’ve been with Lils for nearly a year? 10 months!” you asked, as you looked across the sunset from where you had your head rested on Dieters broad shoulder. 

“No, has it really been that long?” He asked, swirling the alcohol in his glass before throwing it back. You leaned over filling his glass again instantly, knowing he’d do it himself anyway. He said a gentle thanks. 

“It doesn’t feel like it. Have you ever felt like this about someone?” you asked innocently, looking up to your friend, his sunglasses slipped down his nose slightly as he looked at you. You could see his warm brown eyes just over the top of them, they were filled with so much care and love for you. 

“Once. When I was younger. She fucked some other dude, so I fucked her sister and her best friend at the same time” he grinned at you, and you snorted out a laugh, you didn’t doubt the truth behind his statement. Dieter was a dog and you knew that about him, the stories he told you could have you laughing for hours. 

“I’m glad you’re here. These big movies are hard, aren’t they?” you said, shuffling closer to him as a breeze blew through the air. You leaned your head down back down to rest on his shoulder, this wasn’t unusual, you and Dieter were more than comfortable with each other and he wasn’t ever going to push you away anytime soon. 

“Yeah they fucking suck. Nice place to film though, at least it’s not some shithole town” he grinned, you were looking up at him, smiling at his dimple that appeared every time he smiled. 

“Thanks for coming Diets. You’re a really good friend” you said quietly, bumping his shoulder, you saw the way Dieter’s cheeks flushed, yours involuntary heating up. “I wish you didn’t have to go tomorrow” 

“Me too but my agent is on my ass about getting back” he said, quietly dropping his tone, a little. You bit your lip as you looked over his face, Dieter’s free arm came round your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. You felt your heart start beating faster, your chest tightened at the same time as you looked over the man in front of you, his patchy scruff, wild hair and that nose, his tan skin and the way his eyes crinkled as he smiled. You felt yourself shift a little, Dieter doing the same, his eyes flicking to your lips as you both gently moved closer and closer, he was about to move to connect your lips until.

“Do you love her?” he asked. 

“Who?” you said, staring at his lips as he spoke. 

“Your girlfriend.” 

Oh shit - your girlfriend, Lily! “Y-yeah, I mean, she’s amazing and funny and-”

“You don't.” he stated. 

“What? Of course I do” you said, your tone coming across defensively. 

“If you did, then you would have instantly just said yes and been sure of it” he said blunty, you pulled back, removing his arm from your shoulder. Dieter instantly felt his heart twang, fuck he shouldn’t of said that. 

“Excuse me. You don’t get to make that assumption. You barely made the effort to fucking know the girl, since you’ve never tried, so don’t” you snapped at him, getting up from your spot on the sofa. 

“Wait, wait, babe-” he leaned forward.

“Do not call me babe!” you whipped round, pointing your finger at him, causing him to sit back. “Just because you don’t like her, I do, I do love her, more than you could ever fucking understand” you said, you felt tears prick your eyes. You sighed, pinching your nose. 

“I’m going to bed. Dunno if I’ll see you before you leave, but have a good flight, let me know when you get back home. Good night Dieter” You grabbed your glass off the table, before storming back into the villa. Dieter was about to get up and follow you but he heard the door to your bedroom slam, causing him to sit back down. 

He put his head in his hands, he fucked it. He was this close, this close to kissing you, why did he have to open his big fucking mouth? God, how the fuck did he end up here? 

—

You were gone before he woke, he checked his phone, nothing. He needed to leave for the airport in the next few hours, so he got up, got a shower and packed his bag. He kept checking his phone, hoping you would message, but you didn’t. He thought you might before his flight, nothing. Next he thought maybe once he landed, nothing. 

Dieter sighed, once he got all the way back to his home, he took a bump of coke for courage. He sent you a message. 

“I’m sorry for what I said. I shouldn’t have just assumed that you don’t love her, when you clearly do. If you hate me I understand, I’m sorry” he sent off. 

It was a while before he got a reply but once it came, all anxiety he had dropped. 

“I don’t hate you. I’ll see you when I’m home” 

You had sent the message as soon as you got the chance, you didn’t hate him. In fact, it was the opposite. You weren’t drunk last night, you had one drink, you were sober, you were sober when you leant in, staring at his fucking plush lips, you were sober when the cheeky grin made your heart flutter and you were sober when he pointed out the fact that you did not love your girlfriend. 

He was right. You hadn’t missed her as much as you missed Dieter whilst you were away. When she visited, you didn’t mind when she left, unlike when you came back in the evening, you missed Dieter being there, you missed seeing him floating on his back in the pool or painting away in that little book you got him. 

That little book that you had found that evening, filled each with what looked like portraits, portraits of you. 

FEBRUARY 10th 2020

“You won! You fucking won!” You screamed down the phone, which you had propped up so Dieter could see you. He was laughing, his hands over his face on your screen. He was grinning like an absolute idiot. 

“I can’t believe you won! I’m so fucking proud of you” you grinned “Well I can believe it you know what I mean” you laughed. Your TV was still playing the Oscars, you’d been on the edge of your seat all evening waiting for Dieter’s category and when he won, you screamed so loud that you thought you could have broken the windows. 

“What the fuck” he said, sighing, dragging his hands down his face, grinning at you. You got close to the phone again. “I can’t believe it..” he said, shaking his head as if he was trying to wake himself from a dream. 

“You deserve it” you hummed, raising your glass to him before taking a drink. 

“Thank you babe” he said, before he heard a ‘what did he just say?’ from behind the camera. Ah, Lily. He forgot you had moved in with her during the lockdown so you weren’t apart. Dieter wished you had moved here instead, he’d offered too but you had refused, said you “didn’t want to encroach on his space” but he knew the real reason. Lily didn’t want you to. 

You whispered something off camera, before giving Dieter a regretful smile. 

“You have to go.” he said, nodding slightly. 

“I’m sorry Diets, but you’re amazing and I’m so proud of you” 

“It’s okay, thanks for being here” he said, you could feel his sincerity behind it. You pressed a kiss to the camera before saying goodbye. When the call disconnected, he sat back on the couch, turning off the TV. He didn’t need to watch anymore, he won his category and that’s all he cared about. 

He searched through the mess on his coffee table, looking for a little box that had an assortment of pills in it. When he found it, he popped open the lid, picking up one of the pills, he went to place it on his tongue but something stopped him. Seeing you so happy for him, stopped him, he was sober at this moment (minus the glass or two of whiskey) not that it usually factors into it, but he dropped the pill back in the box and put it away. 

There was something just telling him not to take the pill, so he took to having a few more glasses of whiskey, instead putting on the project you had both first worked on together. He paid no attention to himself on the screen, only to you. He would do this when he missed you, and right now, he wanted nothing more than for you to be here. 

APRIL 2020

Dieters phone was ringing loudly next to him, his splitting headache ripping through his skull as the sunlight beamed in from the large windows, his month long quarantine hangover really coming in today. His phone stopped for a second, before starting again. 

Cursing he grabbed it, squinting at the name, it’s you. He instantly answered, hearing you sobbing on the other end. He sat up straight away, fully alert, ignoring the sharp stab in his temples. 

“Hey, hey, what's happened?” he asked quickly, trying to keep his most calming tone on. 

“She… she broke up with me” you sobbed. Ah. Lily. “She said that, that,  she couldn’t do it. She-she asked me to move in with her permanently. I said n-no” you kept crying. Dieter sat back in his bed, running his hand through his messy bed hair. 

“Hey…” he soothed “It’s okay. You don’t want to live with her and that’s okay” he assured, you were still sniffling into the phone. 

“Wish you could come here to give me a hug” you muttered down the phone. He sighed. 

“Me too” he admitted, he would be a liar if he didn’t say he was slightly happy hearing Lily broke up with you. He shouldn’t, you were his friend who had just had their heart broken, but another part of him that had loved you since the day he met you, couldn’t help but feel a little bit of joy. 

“I’m sorry. About - about that night in Greece, I.. you were right. I didn’t love her… that’s why I couldn’t live with her” you admitted. He felt his heart drop, you didn’t love her. You didn’t want to be with her. 

“Listen to me, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter now. You’re safe, if you didn’t love her then it's for the best” he said calmly, shocking himself at the advice. Dieter wasn’t an advice given, but for you he would be. “Look, how about we face time soon? We don’t have to talk”

“Thank you, Dieter… you always know what to say” you mumbled. 

“Anytime, babe” he had that smile on his face that showed off his dimple, the one that made your stomach flutter when you saw it. 

DECEMBER 2020 

You were on facetime, Dieter’s face lighting up as he opened the present you bought him on camera. You two had sent each other gifts to your addresses, Dieter was leaving the states for the UK in January to film his new project. He pulled up the large green robe, an exact replacement for the one that was currently hanging off his shoulders. 

He instantly got off his couch, shrugging it off and wrapping the new one around his frame, the stupidest grin of his face, it was like you’d given him a new puppy. You felt a small blush creep onto your cheeks as he thanked you over and over again, he urged you to open the presents in front of you. There were three small gifts, clearly Dieter hadn’t wrapped them because you knew there was no way they would be so cleanly done, with bows and all. 

You opened the larger of the three first, inside were some of your favourite snacks, a candle that had your favourite scent and a new cosy blanket to get you through the winter chill. The medium one had a new pair of shoes that you had been eyeing up for months, you had said to Dieter you didn’t buy them because you didn’t want to ruin them - Dieter had said “Buy two” and you laughed at the idea. But as you looked into the box, there were in fact two pairs. One to ruin and wear, one to keep, to go in your walk in closet. 

And in the final box, you saw Dieter shifting on his couch, pouring something off screen before he sat back with a mug, coffee, probably irish, you thought. You popped the lid off the small box, gasping at what you saw, it was a silver chain with your initial hanging off the bottom in your favourite jewels. You instantly scrambled to put it on, showing Dieter, he hummed happily at the sight. 

“Thank you Dieter, I love it” you told him, playing with the new pendant. “Where are you going today?” you asked, you were going to spend the day with your family, they had offered for you to stay over the night before Christmas Day, but you had refused, just because you had this planned with Dieter and in a way, you wanted this moment all to yourself, you didn’t want to share him with anyone else. 

“Oh my friends are having dinner. Just gonna go there” he told you, sipping his hot mug of coffee he held. “Tell your siblings I said hi '' he grinned wickedly at you, you rolled your eyes. Your siblings had fawned over Dieter one afternoon when he came to a family cookout, you didn’t blame them, Dieter was fucking delicious looking that day. Shirt unbuttoned loosely, sunglasses coming on and off all day, laughing with your family, genuinely enjoying himself. He had beamed the whole day, you smiled a little at the memory. No drugs either, he hadn’t brought any with him, because you asked, anyone else, he probably would have ignored them, but he couldn’t when it was you. 

You both stayed on the phone for another hour before you had to go, you said your goodbyes, telling Dieter to text you later. The rest of the day, around your family, whilst you were eating, playing games, whatever, you always found yourself coming up to gently play with the new initial pendant, you couldn’t help it, there was just something about it that made you feel safe. 

JANUARY 2021

You sat out on your back porch, book in hand, when your phone started ringing, you looked over, ah, the doorbell. It was a parcel, you were used to random parcels turning up, brands sent you stuff all the time that your agent approved, you walked through your modest home, opened the door, signed your signature and took the parcel in. 

It was soft and squishy, so couldn’t be something from a brand as they normally come in the stupidest amount of plastic, cardboard and other packaging, plus this one looked a little roughly wrapped. You tore it open, instantly recognising the fabric that was rolled up inside, you pulled it out, you could feel the look of confusion on your face. It was Dieter’s old green robe, the one you had given him a replacement for not even two weeks ago, you were confused for a second before you saw a note sticking out of the pocket. 

“To keep you warm on the chilly nights.. And if you miss me. - Diets” you felt your heart jump, fuck that was actually… really sweet of him to do. You tugged the jumper you were wearing over your head, wrapping the robe around you, it was much too big, you had to tie it tightly around your waist to even keep it closed. You were surprised to smell fresh linen coming from it, obviously he had had it washed before he sent it, but there was still a small scent of his cologne lingering. 

You went to your large full length mirror, snapping a picture in the robe before sending it off to your friend. 

“Thanks for the old smelly robe. Miss you too” 

Dieter grinned upon receiving the text, instantly sending a photo of him laid in bed back. “You’re welcome, I knew you would miss me ;)”

A FEW MONTHS LATER

The next few months, you went about your life, doing interviews, healing from your ex, you were in constant contact with Dieter the whole time. Hearing about filming, the way the actors were being treated, about the KitKats in the mini bars, laughing at the tiktok he had made, which you shared everywhere you could to tease him, he told you about everything. Everything except one thing. 

Anika. 

He didn’t tell you about Anika. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t but something just told him not to. It wasn’t until you got a call, really late into the night from Dieter, ringing your phone, over and over again. 

“Dieter? What’s up” you had groggily, rubbing your eyes. 

“Hi.. I just needed to hear your voice” he said, you could hear the tinge of pain in his tone. 

“What’s wrong? What’s happened? Have they hurt you?” you asked quickly, sitting up, waking yourself up more so you could hear him better. 

“No..no, I just nearly died” he told you, you gasped, instantly feeling pain shoot through your chest. 

“What do you mean you nearly died Dieter?”

“I have OD’d. and…” you felt tears start to fall down your cheeks, you could hear him sniffling, he was crying too. “Anika saved me.” 

“Anika? Is that a nurse, did they take you to the hospital?” You asked, wiping away your tears. This was something you always feared with the drugs, one day he would take it too far and you wouldn’t see him again. 

“No, I’m still here. But she’s.. Amazing and she saved my life and I love her” he admitted. Your heart twanged, he.. Loves this woman? He was babbling away on the phone, and that’s when it hit you. Hearing him say he loves someone else, you realised, you loved him. All those months ago when he asked if you loved Lily in Greece, you hesitated because you didn’t, you loved him. All the late night phone calls, all the running to Dieter when you had your heart broken, whenever you needed comfort, it was because he was your safe space. The place you felt most comfortable, at home. Your eyes looked over to the green robe on the floor, you fucking loved him.

“Dieter” you stopped his babbling. It didn’t matter if you just had a realisation, your friend needed you and he had just called you after nearly losing his life. “Dieter listen to me. You need to promise me you’re going to get out of there, okay? You can’t stay there” you told him, he then told you about the plan to leave with the rest of the crew. You had assured him you would be there when he got home. 

—

You were snoozing in his living room of the mini mansion, you had gone to his home as soon as he told you he was on his way back. You had come round, threw away all the drugs like he had asked you too. You had paid someone to come clean it as well, since it hadn’t been lived in for months. It was only meant to be three months, but now he’d been there inhumanely long and he had nearly died. You didn’t know what you would have done if he had really gone. It pained you that you weren’t there to help him when needed you most but, he had Anika. 

And he loved her, whoever she is. You had barely spoken to him in the last week of him being on set, so you didn’t know exactly what time he would be home. You were up and down, taking naps, making sure to clean up any mess you made, back and forth to the intercom to see if anyone was at the gate, you were getting impatient. You needed to see him in front of you, it was almost as if you didn’t believe that he was still living, so you needed physical evidence to know that he definitely was. 

It was a few hours before the intercom buzzed and you heard the gates open, you clumsily ran to the large front doors, swinging them open as you saw a black SUV pulling up his driveway. You stood there panting hard, you had wrapped yourself in his old green robe and as soon as you saw one croc hit the floor, you ran, jumping up and throwing your arms around his neck. You let a sob break free as you felt his strong arms instantly coming to hold you tightly. 

You pulled back, putting your hands on his cheeks. “I’m so glad you’re okay” you said, letting the tears fall down your cheeks. He was smiling at you even though he’d been through hell the past few months, you found yourself staring at him, at his lips, you got the overwhelming urge to crash your lips to his, to just really feel him, feel that he was home, safe and alive. 

He wiped your tears away “I’m okay. I’m okay, I promise” he assured you.

It wasn’t until someone cleared their throat next to you that you were brought back to reality, Dieter dropped his arms from you, you slowly moved your hands to your side as you turned to see a girl standing there, sweetly smiling. Oh, Anika. Right. You hadn’t expected her to be here. 

He introduced you both, his arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her close, he turned to look at her, his eyes full of adoration, they shared a quick kiss, which made you wince. You said your hellos, before picking up one of the bags and walking into the house. Anika was talking to you as you walked but you weren’t listening, you were focused on the man between you both, his messy hair, his tired eyes and the way you swore his beard had more greys than before. 

Anika looked around the house in amazement as you walked in, she was cute, she was young, that was obvious. Wait, if she was young, did that mean that Dieter didn’t mind? Would he date you despite your age? You were nearly 26, in fact it would be your birthday soon. You shouldn’t be thinking about that right now, he’s home and you needed to make sure he was okay. 

“Did you sort the stuff I asked?” Dieter asked you as you walked into the kitchen behind Anika, who was still looking around in awe.  

“Yeah, I got rid of all your drugs. Don’t worry, there are none in the house and everyone is under strict instructions to not let any in here” you assured him, squeezing his arm. He gave you a small thank you. You stood there, watching Dieter show Anika where things were located, taking her out to show her the pool. It was late into the evening already, you knew they were on a different body clock to you. So after a little while of helping them settle back in, you said to Dieter you’d be back tomorrow morning to check in on them. 

“Wait- stay here. Please. Use the spare room you like” he pleaded, looking at you in a way you couldn’t refuse and to be honest you didn’t want to leave, you wanted to stay here with him, make sure he was okay, you wanted to take care of his every need. So you nodded, leaning up to give him a lingering kiss on the cheek before you made your way to the spare bedroom, nothing thinking about the fact that it was directly next to the master bedroom. 

You settled in the bed, your heart feeling more at ease now that your best friend was finally home, he was safe, happy and that’s all that mattered to you right now. 

You managed to sleep for a short while before you were woken up by a dull thud over and over again, you listened to the sound for a second before hearing a low groan. Fuck. Dieter and Anika. You grabbed your earbuds quickly, putting them in, not wanting to listen to that. You had heard Dieter have sex before, you even walked in on him once but this time was different. This time you loved him, this time you wished it was you in the other room.  

—

You ended up staying at Dieter’s a lot longer than planned, you were here for over a month when things started to go south. You had gotten to know Anika, she was truly very lovely and you liked her a lot, despite being in love with her boyfriend and your best friend. The issue wasn’t her, the issue with the drugs, Dieter couldn’t remember the last time he went so long without drugs. 

He had been attending a therapist twice a week since he got home, he even took you along once, he was finding it hard to not just turn to a bump of coke when things got hard, but Anika didn’t know how to handle him when he was having his moment of weakness. You had come into the room multiple times after hearing a slam, Anika storming out, Dieter on the floor with his head in his hands. 

You’d sit with him, as he cried, as he downed whiskey just to feel something. You would sit and rub his back, giving him words of affirmation, telling him just how well he was doing, how it will be worth it in the end and everything will work out. 

It was one of those nights right now, Anika had just left for the bedroom, stressed that Dieter wasn’t the person she thought he was. Could you blame her? Not really, they were in a pressure cooker back in the hotel, it was inevitable a situation like this could arise where two people thought they fell in love, only to realise that once they got to the real world, it wasn’t the case. 

You were sitting outside with Dieter, both of you were impossibly close, your feet in the pool below you. Dieter had a glass of whiskey next to him that was untouched, he had been crying again, you were sure he had been crying because he and Anika had argued but you didn’t press him. You were both just sat, shoulders against each other, as you swung your feet in the pool, the silence was comfortable, it was exactly what Dieter needed right now. Silence. With you. 

He leaned his head on your shoulder, causing you to turn your head slightly to look down at him, you slowly rested your head on his as well, feeling him let out a sigh of relief. 

You wouldn’t admit that this small action filled you with butterflies, this was exactly where you wanted to be, maybe not with the other person in the house but this right in this moment was what you needed. Seeing Dieter with Anika this past month has been hard to say the least, seeing them kiss, cuddle, hearing them have sex, it broke your heart each time but you stayed, but you did stay and you would continue to stay as long as Dieter needed.

He didn’t know how you felt when you saw them together, how could he? You hadn’t ever shown anything other than love and support for them both. That’s why when he laced his fingers with yours on the edge of the pool he didn’t think anything of it, it made your breath hitch though, you couldn’t help but squeeze his hand. 

He squeezed back making you blush and smile more than it should have. That’s when you noticed he was looking at you, grinning that fucking famous smile of his. “You’re blushing” he pointed out. 

“What?” you said, stammering slightly. “It’s, it’s just hot out”

“You have your feet in an ice cold pool” Fuck he was right. You just shook your head, sitting up so you weren’t practically cuddling into him. You saw the small jut of his lip, you tried to look away from his goddamn beautiful face, his disheveled hair and those eyes. One’s that looked at Anika like the most precious thing in the world, you wondered if he ever looked at you like that?

Dieter’s free hand reached over for the glass of whiskey next to him, taking a drink before offering it to you. You took it, hissing at the burn of the alcohol in your throat before passing it back. 

“I’m going to have to go home tomorrow Diets” you told him, looking down at the water as it rippled against your legs. He shot up almost instantly, holding onto your hand tighter as if you were going to leave right then. 

“No, please stay” he begged, looking at you like a lost puppy “Please. You’re the only thing getting me through this” he told you, not even thinking about dropping his voice so Anika didn’t hear. 

“Dieter... you have Anika. She will take care of you. I can’t stay here, it’s... awkward, like I’m in your marital home or something” you muttered. He furrowed his brow. 

“We’re not married. I.. we won’t be” he said, you rolled your eyes. 

“It didn’t mean literally, Diets look. I can’t be your weird third wheel. I love you, more than you know” you paused for a second, before continuing “and she is good for you. She is… nice and kind and she cares about you-”

“But she’s not you” he said quickly. Your heart fucking jerked out of your chest, what is that supposed to mean? You closed your eyes taking a deep breath, when you opened them again, he was so close to you, his free hand was coming to push a strand of hair behind your ear slowly. “No one ever looks after me the way you do” he whispered. 

Your heart was thudding against your ribcage, you thought it could have broken through your bones with the strength of it. His soft eyes were flickering over your face so quickly that you recognised that he was nervous, he only ever attempted to make eye-contact when it was important and then looked away when he got nervous. You caught his eye, causing his mouth to fall open slightly. You wondered why he would be nervous, maybe it was just the weight of everything that happened the past few months. 

What you didn’t know was that Dieter was nervous because of the way you were looking at him, with so much care behind your eyes, your hand wrapped up in his, your thumb was idly running across his knuckles, which you hadn’t even noticed you were doing.  He was nervous because of your soft lips, the fact you were still wearing his old robe, the way you were so close he could smell that soft perfume and because you were illuminated by the pool light. He was nervous because of the way you made him feel, the way he wanted to kiss you more than ever, to tell you exactly what he felt.  

He was nervous because he realised that he did not love Anika. He loved you, he’d loved you since he met you and he tried to pretend he didn't, but he couldn’t. He thought Anika would help him forget about his feelings for you, but when you were waiting for him to come home, the way you stayed even though you needed to leave. You had stuck by him since day one, even when no one else wanted. He’d stopped himself each time, his near death expereince was still fresh and he decided, fuck it. 

Before you could register what was happening, his lips were crashing against yours, you squeaked, your hand squeezing his in surprise, your other coming to grab his shoulder. He thought you were going to push him away but to his shock, you pulled him closer, as your eyes fluttered closed and you leaned into the kiss. You were so caught up in the moment that you didn’t realise Anika had been standing there, listening to the whole conversation and witnessing the kiss. 

Your arm was about to wrap round his shoulder when you heard the patio door slide shut with force, bouncing as it hit the other side, you both quickly pulled apart. Fuck what had you done, you saw Anika storming back through the house. 

“Fuck!” Dieter cursed, scrambling out of the pool, letting go of you and your hand, knocking over his whiskey glass as he quickly followed after her, you heard shouting almost instantly. You saw something fly across the room, like a tshirt or something being thrown at him. 

You quickly got up from your seated position, walking inside slowly, trying to be as quiet as a mouse as they argued in the large kitchen across from the living room. Anika shouted your name, causing you to turn slowly. 

“Look I’m going to get my stuff and go” you said quickly, Dieter went to ask you not to before you stopped him, knowing if he said anything it would make this whole situation worse. “I’m going. I will call to check on him, okay? But you won’t see me again, Anika. I’m sorry” you said, keeping a stern look to stop the tears falling down your cheeks. 

Dieter’s face had fallen, he looked broken. You couldn’t look at him, it was too hard to see him look so pained, you quickly shoved your essentials in a bag, making your way from the house, to your car that has been parked there for over a month. You got in, turning it on and sped away, back to your own home, the one that didn’t really feel like home but was called it. You were sobbing the whole time, why did that just happen then? Why did he have to kiss you right then? Fuck. You fucked it. Your friendship was over, he’d never want to see you again. You let the tears fall freely now.

You spent that night sobbing in your empty house, it didn’t feel the same, not like at Dieters where it felt warm, it was cold here. You slept in his robe that night, normally you wouldn’t, but it smelt vaguely of him, so you kept it wrapped around you. 

The next morning, you had a text from Dieter, asking you to call him when you woke up. You didn’t. You couldn’t, you didn’t know that he loved you back, you convinced yourself he kissed you because of the moment. He was probably drunk, or high, even though he hadn’t had drugs in over a month, that’s what he told you anyway, he would have probably snuck something in. 

Your phone rang multiple times through the day, Dieter’s name flashing on the screen, you ignored it. Crying each time. He left you multiple messages, begging you to answer, saying he needed to speak to you, but you couldn’t face it. You couldn’t face the rejection, the apology for kissing you when he shouldn't have, the apology for telling you that it was spur of the moment. 

When your phone rang that evening, you only glanced at it knowing it was Dieter, you were shocked to see a different name. Your friend. You picked it up quickly. 

“Hello?” you said, and she happily said hello back. 

“Are you excited?” she asked. You were dumbfounded, what was there to be excited about right now?

“Sorry, about what?”

“Your birthday party? It’s tomorrow.” oh fuck! You’d forgotten, with the whole Dieter situation you had completely forgotten. 

“Oh! OH! Of course I am! Can’t wait” you said, mustering your fakest happy voice. 

“Good cause your outfit is being dropped off early in the morning, and then I’ll come round and we can get ready together. Okay?” You sighed. Telling her okay and that you’d see her tomorrow. 

Maybe this is just what you needed, to blow off some steam. It was your birthday party, even though your birthday was a week later, you were going to take this opportunity to drown your sorrows. 

Dieter however, didn’t forget. He knew it was tomorrow, and he fully intended on going. He didn’t want to let you down and if you weren’t going to answer his calls, he was going to speak to you in person. 

—

You woke bright and early that morning, expecting a parcel with your birthday outfit. You had been told to give measurements to your friend as she was going to sort an outfit for you, at the time it seemed like a great idea, but right now you were shitting yourself at what could have been in store. 

You tugged Dieter’s old robe around yourself as you padded to your kitchen, putting on a coffee pot, you checked your phone, no new messages or calls. You felt your heart sink a little, part of you was sad that Dieter hadn’t tried to call again. You hoped he was okay. You hoped he hadn’t managed to find drugs again. 

Your outfit arrived just as you were sitting down with your coffee, you took the large box into the house, dumped it in the living room and opened it up. You tug out of the box, the most beautiful dress you had ever seen came out of the box, at the bottom a sparkly crown that matched and shoes as well. You laughed, shaking your head, you expected some sort of costume but this was beautiful. You felt a small tinge of excitement about the evening now, you were going to get absolutely shift faced and forget about how fucked you were. And all about Dieter Bravo and his handsome fucking face. 

The evening rolled around quickly, you were getting out of the car in your stunning dress, your hair and make-up perfectly styled. You made your way inside the event, your friends had gone out of their way to plan a beautiful party, it was outdoor, the place was decorated with flowers, ivy and the most gorgeous soft lighting. There were balloons, music playing in the background, there was a table of different desserts already available. That’s when it hit you, the theme - prom. Fucking prom. You’d never got to attend one when you were younger and you joked with your friends that it would be fun to have one. 

Now the tiara made sense, you were the bloody prom queen. You put your hand up to the initial pendant you had chosen to wear this evening, even though everything with Dieter was fucked, you still wanted him here. You knew he wouldn’t show, the pressure would be too much for him right now, but part of you was hoping that he would, even if you were scared shitless, and you had ghosted him the past two days. 

You hugged different people, saying hello, thanking them for coming, you had many drinks when getting ready and had downed a few stronger ones already. The party was picking up, there were people here who you had only met a couple of times, but you didn’t care. You were on the dance floor, with your friends, dancing away with a drink in your hand. 

You’d overheard a few people where Dieter was, muttering about how they were shocked he wasn’t the first one here. You ignored it, if he came, he came, if he didn’t, he didn’t. Although, you’d thought if he didn’t turn up, it did really in fact mean he just kissed you because he got caught up in the moment. 

You hadn’t told anyone about what happened, about how he kissed you in front of the woman he was meant to love, the fact you had ran away, the fact you had spent the last month caring for him, the fact you had spent the last month keeping him away from drugs and the fact he had nearly died. You were too busy dancing to your favourite songs, with some of your favourite people to even think about it right now, but it wasn’t long before you would have to. 

As you were throwing back some small colorful liquids that were very alcoholic, you heard a commotion coming from the entrance of the party. A bunch of people clapping, a couple of whistles,  you turned to see what was happening, probably someone doing some sort of trick you thought. 

But you froze when you saw it. 

Dieter. Stood, staring at you too, his hair was groomed, his beard had been trimmed and put in order, his suit… his fucking suit, matching the exact colourful of your own dress. And on top of that perfectly fucking groomed head, a matching crown. He looked so bloody adorable but also, you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to rip that fucking suit off him and ride him whilst he wore nothing but that damned crown. 

“There’s your prom king” one of your friends teased, shoving you towards him. Fuck, this can’t be happening. Your body exploded, watching him walk towards you, ignoring everyone else around him, a couple of them trying to grab his attention, but he had one thing in sight, you. 

You couldn’t calm your beating heart as he got closer, coming to a stop in front of you, you could feel everyone staring at you, as if they knew what happened a couple of nights ago. 

“Hey” Dieter said, looking at you softly, his voice was thick, he was clearly nervous. “You.. look, amazing. So beautiful” 

“That’s all you have to say?” you said, the drink in your veins making you more confident. Dieter looked down, as if he was embarrassed, that’s when he caught sight of the glittering initial round your neck. He knew at that moment that you still cared. 

“No, fuck no there’s so much I want to say. So much I need to tell you, so much you don’t know and I, I need you to know what you mean to me and I-

You stopped him, by grabbing his hand and dragging him off to a secluded area far away from everyone else. The view from here was beautiful, your friend has booked this outdoor space definitely with that in mind, you walked down a few steps that lead to a private beach area. You took off your shoes, discarding them so you could walk on the sand. Dieter followed you quickly, not caring about where you were going, he just wanted to be with you. 

You found a rock laid on its side, big enough for you to both take a seat on it. You sat down first, waiting for your friend to join you. You were looking out to the sea, you could feel him looking directly towards you instead. 

“Why did you kiss me?” you asked, still staring out at the ocean. There was a moment of silence before you heard Dieter speak. 

“You kissed me a few years ago, completely out of blue whilst you were drunk and you probably don’t remember- 

“I remember.” you said, turning to look at him. “Of course I remember, but that doesn’t explain why you kissed me two days ago” you said, sighing as you turned back to the sea, tucking your feet onto the rock and putting your chin on your knees. 

“Because, I kissed you because.. Fuck, because… I’ve been in love with you since the day we met” he confessed, you felt yourself freeze. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Dieter on the other hand, his palms were sweating, he was staring right through you, he couldn’t tear himself away, he needed you to know and now was a better time than ever. If he were to lose you completely, at least this would be the reason. 

You were still cautious, still scared, even though hearing him say what you had dreamed of, you knew there was something in the way. 

“And what about Anika?” you asked, still staring at the sea. 

“She’s gone, we’re over, I couldn’t be with her knowing that she wasn’t the one I really wanted” he admitted, relief washed over you hearing that, you turned to look at him. This time, you had no intention of turning away, you reached forward lacing your fingers with his, dropping your feet back to the sand, opening your body language back up to him. He just watched you, as you slowly, cautiously reached a hand up to run over the scruff of his jaw. 

His eyes were watching your hands, not daring to make eye contact. You called his name softly, his attention finally snapping to your face. 

“I’m in love with you too” you said quietly, only wanting him to be the only person in the world to hear you right now. Your heart was alight, it felt so good to get it off your chest, for you to finally have said those words to the man you loved.

Then, without hesitation, you were both leaning forward, lips slotting together so perfectly. This was different from the other kiss, this one was so full, so much care and compassion in it. It was heavy, and needy and god it was fucking perfect. You’d never felt anything like this, kissing Lily never felt this good, your arm came around to wrap around his neck, to pull him impossibly closer to you as you pulled back for a short gasp of air before diving straight back into his sweet taste. 

Dieter had never experienced a kiss like this before, he’d never known what it felt like to kiss someone you truly loved, his free hand made its way to the small off your back, gripping onto you so you couldn’t move too far away from him. He never wanted this to end, he could stay here, kissing you, for the rest of his life. Years and years of feelings, building right up to this moment right here and it was so worth it. 

He followed your lips as you reluctantly pulled back, you laughed, shoving his chest and resting your forehead against his. 

“Diets…” you said, a whole new meaning behind that nickname now. 

“Yes, baby?” he asked sweetly. 

“I love you” you repeated. He chuckled, pressing his lips to yours for a chaste kiss. 

“I love you too” he hummed, nuzzling into your neck. “Now, what do we do?” he asked. You shook your head, wrapping both your arms around him to hug him tightly.

“Dunno, I guess we will go back up there and well. Get drunk and have fun, how does that sound?” you asked, as he leaned back to look at you. 

“Fuck that sounds great. But how about we smoke this before we go?” he asked, his eyes flashing with mischief as he reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a blunt. You’d talked about this previously, the only drugs he was going to take again was weed, none of the hard shit anymore. 

“Ohh, that sounds like a great plan. But you know what I get like when I smoke that” you hummed, leaning forward, kissing his jaw as he lit it up. 

“Why do you think I brought it? The three H’s, high, hungry and horny” he said, smirking right at you. “And I’d definitely be more than willing to help you with all three” He said, lowering his tone as he passed the blunt over to you. 

You felt your whole body heat up, muttering a curse. You were fucked, in the absoloute best way. Your life was about to become a whole lot more interesting but it would be so worth it. You and Dieter were always meant to be, you had always been drawn to each other, you knew now, this is exactly where you were meant to be. 

Here on this rock, getting high with the man you had accidentally fallen madly in love with, kissing each other every now and again, his hands starting to explore the parts of you he’d never been able to before. Kissing parts of your skin he’d always dreamed of, telling you things he’d wanted to say for years and you reciprocating right back. 

There was nothing you could have asked for to make this moment any better than it already was.

You spent the night together hand in hand, unapologetically kissing each other whenever you got the chance, he didn’t let go of you once, even holding your hand whilst you used the restroom, you insisted you needed both hands, he insisted you definitely did not and he had heard you pee multiple times before. You’d argued it was different now, he’d argued it was not and just to shut up and pee. 

You’d spent the night dancing with him, your friends telling you how long they had waited for this to happen and they were fucking exhausted watching you two not admit the way you felt. You had laughed it off, but really, you were both just as elated as they were, grinning at each other like love sick idiots anytime someone said something. 

It wasn’t until the night started winding down that you really got any time to yourself again, you were exhausted, sitting on the edge of one of the tables together. People had started to dissipate as the party continued into the early hours of the morning. 

“Do you want to stay and watch the sunrise?” Dieter asked, nodding over to the sea. You nodded, smiling as he took off his jacket, putting it over your shoulders. 

“Dieter?” you said, resting your head on his shoulder. 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m glad I met you. And I’m so excited to see what the happens from here” 

“Me too sweet girl, me too.”

And that’s how it started, your last relationship. You had no idea that the day you met Dieter, it would lead to you finding your person, the one you would spend the rest of your life with and oh boy was it interesting indeed.

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo xf!reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fics #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal x reader #we love anika too btw ok

[verybadatcardgames]

I love your Sightshipping HCs! I have to say, I've never really thought about it before, but it's a pretty interesting ship. ^-^

What about Joey for 002?

Always happy to have an excuse to spread some Sightshipping headcanons around :D

Onwards to the character ask!

Joey

How I feel about this character: I really do like him and think he's complex character. This guy is a true "ride or die" friend, yet he's played often as comic relief among the main cast, and he also gets treated like a punching bag throughout the series despite the hard work, effort, and integrity he puts into everything he does.

Holy shit, the wringer this poor guy went through during Battle City and Alcatraz, then for Mai to fixate on him and blame him for her troubles during Doma because... he can't read her mind halfway across the world and help her?? Yes, we can place some blame on Dartz and the Orichalcos stone for twisting her mind, but there wouldn't have been something to be twisted in the first place if Mai didn't have some sort of grudge towards him. I'm not downplaying Mai's trauma by any means and have many of my own thoughts on her Doma era and the PTSD that was inflicted by Malik, but I don't think it was very fair of her to put all of this resentment and expectation on a 16/17 year old boy who by all means considered her his friend and would have done, and did do, everything he could to help her once he realized how badly she'd been affected by the whole ordeal.

Then everyone (not just Seto!) proceeds to take a shit on him during the Grand Prix arc, like he didn't also help save the world for the third or fourth time in the previous season?? Come on!

I know he started out as Yuugi's bully and antagonized him, but he's long since paid his penance and he deserves more respect.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I'm an old-timey Polarshipper, though I vastly prefer this ship when Jounouchi has some more life experience under his belt as an adult and can approach Mai from that growth and life experience.

Wishshipping is cute, and I also like Buddyshipping. I'm a sucker for friends to lovers sometimes.

Can't remember the ship name for Rishid/Joey but I like that as both romantic and/or platonic friendship.

I also like Puppy/Violetshipping, because I am also a sucker for enemies to lovers. Or just enemies to enemies who fu

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I bro-ship him with Vivian Wong. I know it makes no sense but hear me out

They're both athletic jocks who are hot tempered and are wholly capable of throwing hands and holding their own if a fight were to break out in a bar. They'd be right at home in a John Woo flick.

And I ship them both with Mai so they can bond over their impeccable taste in the same woman.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I just said I polyship Joey/Mai/Vivian. That's about as unpopular of an opinion as it gets.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: A whole episode where he gets separated from his group during the Ancient Egypt arc and meets a woman with red eyes that turns out to be the Red-Eyes Black Dragon, but she's more well adjusted and has a sense of humor compared to Kisara. She's aware of the stuff going on, but she actively makes an effort not to get involved because who wants to deal with that? But she ends up getting dragged into world altering situations anyhow because sometimes life just be like that and you gotta roll with the punches. Amiright?

my OTP: *points to everything above*

my cross over ship: He would totally fawn over Kumiko Yamaguchi from Gokusen.

He would also fear her, immensely.

a headcanon fact: He still likes to dress up as Marylin Monroe when he's by himself.

He would like to get a gig singing covers of his favorite songs at a classy night club in a sparkling sequin dress, but he's low-key haunted by the poor reception he received from the popularity contest in high school and talks himself out of it every time the thought crosses his mind.

#ask #joey wheeler #jounouchi katsuya #jounouchi #joey #yugioh #ygo #toei #dm #duel monsters #mai kujaku #mai valentine #vivian wong #gokusen #crossover #season zero #season 0

[webslingingslasher]

okay problem #1 is an absolute cutie pie pookie bear like he's SUCH a gentleman always holding the door, offering to carrying stuff and his smile is UGH 🥺 he has DIMPLES and i am a slut for dimples. and he's so chill and nice about me being nonbinary (low bar but still). BUT he doesnt have a phone number, only social media, and he's an exchange student from POLAND and i live in the US. i love his accent but in five months he goes back to poland and i dont want to get my heart broken.

problem #2 is this girl i'm friends with. she has a bunch of people she calls her wife and i'm one of them. that's not the problem. the problem is that yesterday i was like "would you want to kiss me?" and i was joking and she full seriousness said yes. i panicked and was like, "well we can't do that with all these people around" cause we were in public and the subject was dropped but now i'm praying she didn't mean it because i had a crush on her but i fully moved on and i don't think i can go back

problem #3 is her coactor. he's sweet and cute but completely clueless to the point i feel mean for trying to flirt with him because he just gets confused. like i call him cutie and he'll look around like i'm talking to someone else. and i have a kinda dark sense of humor and it goes miles over his head every time. honestly i've just given up by now and i hope he finds someone who's on his level and can be sweet and lovely back to him

problem #4 is only a problem bc i'm delulu and am still hung up on a busser at this restaurant i went to two weeks ago. he kept giving me looks every time he'd pass our table, and when i met his eyes he'd look away really fast and blush a little bit. but i didnt want to go up to him because he was working and i know it can be freaky when customers ask for your number and/or flirt. and he looked like he was about to talk to me when i was leaving but then my friend was talking to me and he looked like he didn't want to interrupt and i can't afford to go back to that restaurant any time soon so now i just think about him way too often like all the time

i vote #4. idk why, but i do.

#1 is a bad idea.

#2 is a past idea.

#3 sounds messy.

#4 sounds <33333 u need to go back, it's for fate!!!!!!

#thanks anon!

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

My Husband Changes Every Night

Earlier I discussed redheads who apparently get reincarnated into a villain role married to someone dangerous.

That seems kind of specific.

But now I've found that pink hair seems to mean specifically that your family is garbage and you enter into an agreement with some powerful cursed lord to use your prodigious holy powers to remove the curse. This requires he remove his shirt, and for reasons mostly unrelated to that, you fall in love.

I'd have two nickels, but it's weird that it's happened twice...

My Husband Changes Every Night has a really good sense of humor. It's not a joke comic by any stretch - I agree with the Romance categorization - but when it tells jokes they're good!

I also feel like this one finally set the stakes high enough. A lot of "becomes the empress" romances seem like the world's more or less okay, or maybe the houses of the two clans romancing each other are at war but the two engaging in the romance are in charge so if the romance works out the problems kind of...dissolve? In this one the emperor is adjacent to other empires and surrounded by nobles who hate him. And also the world is falling into ruin apparently due to the withdrawal of the blessing of God.

This gives the plot places to go while and even after the couple get together, making for drama that can but doesn't have to directly involve the romance.

It also passes the Smirk Test for romance, where when things get steamy and one or both of the romantic partners is embarrassed I care enough about the people involved (and the whole thing is presented in fun enough a way) that I smirk and go "ohh-ho-ho" in an amused tone. Which isn't a low bar! A lot of romances don't get me invested enough to find the blushing times enjoyable.

#review #webtoon #my husband changes every night #it's good!

[e-dubbc11]

Top 5 Slow Dance Songs for Matt

Thank you for reading these!  Let me know if you like them and if you’d like me to do some more of these from my full list of Slow Dance Songs for Matt here….or I have another list of Lap Dance Songs for Matt also that I can do scenarios from.  I do really like doing these so I may do more just because I can.

Pairing:  The first 4 are GN! and the last one is F!

1.  Crazy Love – Van Morrison

The first thing I thought of when I put this song on my list was a sleepless night for Matt.  He didn’t want to keep you up with his tossing and turning, it’s one of the nights where he can’t seem to drown out the commotion of the city so he just decides to get up, go out to the couch, and listen to some music.  

Matt getting up isn’t what woke you, he is your own personal space heater so it was the cold that woke you up when you rolled over and he wasn’t there.  Your feet hit the floor and you walk on your toes out to the living room and there he is, adorable as ever, the only light in the room is coming from the neon sign outside his window.  He had felt you walk across the floor and heard the bedroom door slide open so he takes his ear buds out…“I’m sorry sweetheart, did I wake you up?”

His face is so soft and sweet. He’s genuinely concerned whether or not he woke you up and gazing at him in that moment, you didn’t know it was possible to love him more than you already do but you absolutely do.  

“Oh no, no Matty…It’s just cold in bed without you.  What are you listening to?”

Slowly you walked over to him and brushed your thumb across his stubble.

“Just some music.  I couldn’t sleep…I’m having a hard time tonight drowning out all the noise.”

You always feel terrible when something as basic as sleep doesn’t come easily to him.  His abilities are a blessing and also a curse and all you wanted to do was take away whatever problem he was having at the moment.  

“I’m sorry, my love…Maybe I can help.  Can I see your phone, please?”

You extend your hand, he notices your fingers are like ice as he hands you the phone and you put the song on…

I can hear her heartbeat from a thousand miles Hear the heavens open every time she smiles And when I come to her that's where I belong Yet, I'm run into to her like a river strong

You take both his hands in your and pull him up towards you.  “Up here with me, handsome…come on.”

He pulls you close so your bodies are touching, his strong arms wrap around your waist, while you hold him close with your head on his chest and just move with the music.

She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love

She got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low down And when I come home to her when the sun goes down Takes my troubles all away, take away my grief Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief

“This is nice, sweetheart.  I feel like we’re the only two people in the world right now.”

You smile against his chest and softly say…

“Well if it will help you tune everything out, just think of it that way.  It’s just you and me, baby.”

She gives me love, love, love, Crazy Love

“I think I’m ready for bed now.”  Matt says.

“Well come on then, Matty, you ready for sleep?”

You look up at him, he had that devilish smirk on his face that was illuminated by the neon sign outside and he whispers in your ear…

“Who said anything about sleep?”

2.  Tennessee Whiskey – Chris Stapleton

Let’s be honest, this song is one of the sexiest songs ever.  I can see putting this song on the juke box while you’re out together at Josie’s or another bar.  It’s one of my favorite songs of all time and I’d LOVE to slow dance with Matt to this song.

A night out at the bar for a few drinks was a weekly occurrence.  Matt, Foggy, Karen and you.  It’s just a way to unwind after a long week at the office and being with your friends and your boyfriend made you really happy.  Watching Karen and Foggy try to shoot pool was hilarious, you’d think with all the time they spent there that they’d actually be pretty good, nope, not at all.  Then you hear your song come on.

Used to spend my nights out in a barroom Liquor was the only love I've known But you rescued me from reachin' for the bottom And brought me back from being too far gone

You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey You're as sweet as strawberry wine You're as warm as a glass of brandy And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time

Reaching up, you take Matt’s drink away, rest it on the table and grab his hand.

“How about a dance, handsome?”

Matt smiles, turns and tilts his head towards you and asks…

“What?  Here?  No…Well… I’m sure everyone will be looking at you beautiful, and not me so you win.”

You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey Tennessee whiskey Tennessee whiskey

The two of you dance to your song, Matt kisses your forehead and you lift your chin and give him a long, deep kiss.  Patrons at the bar start whistling and cat calling and from the pool table, you hear Foggy yell in your direction.

“UGH!  You two are nauseating, get a room, will ya?!!!”

The two of you laugh and then you hear Matt’s voice low and gravelly in your ear.

“We should go before I take you right there on that pool table.”

3.  You and I – Lady Gaga

I LOVE this song.  The first time I heard it was when I realized that Lady Gaga could really belt it out and how powerful her voice is, she’s amazing.  It would probably be my karaoke song…that or “Tequila” (everyone laugh, because that’s hilarious).  Anyway, the scenario I came up with for this one is a little funny because it involves Matt catching you basically putting on a concert at the apartment while you’re cleaning.

Matt left work early to surprise you and in a few minutes he’d find out just how surprised you’d be.  As he got closer to his building, he tilted his head and realized you were…singing and he thought to himself “that’s not half bad…”  Then he remembered you said you wanted to do some cleaning today and also telling him to make sure he’s careful whenever he comes home because the floor might or might not be wet.  As he walked up the stairs, a smile spread across his face while he stood outside and listened to you for a minute…  

You taste like whiskey when you kiss me, oh I'll give anything again to be your baby doll This time I'm not leaving without you

He said, "Sit back down where you belong In the corner of my bar with your high heels on" Sit back down on the couch where we Made love the first time and you said to me

Something, something about this place Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy Yeah, something about, baby, you and I

Quietly, he unlocked the door, put his things down and took his shoes and socks off.  The scent of natural lemon cleaning products filled the apartment, you knew with Matt’s hyper senses that some cleaning products were just too much for him so you tried to use as many lightly scented products as you could.  The floor by the door wasn’t slippery but he could tell it had been recently cleaned, again he smiled, so you weren’t JUST putting on a concert in the apartment, you were ACTUALLY cleaning and he could tell you were in the kitchen.  He walked around the corner and smiled with that dimple on full display…you hadn’t noticed him yet.

“I didn’t know I was coming home to a clean apartment AND a show.”

He scared the ever living daylights out of you and you nearly jumped out of your skin.  Covering your heart, you shrieked.

“Jeez Louise!!  Dammit Matty!  You and your ninja skills!!”  He laughed again at you.  There’s that dimple again.  “You scared me!”  You were laughing a little too.  “And stop laughing, you nearly gave me a heart attack.  Good thing you can’t see me, I look a fright right now.”

He was still laughing a little “Well, I’m sorry I scared you, beautiful and I highly doubt you look bad.”

“So yes, I was just getting ready to mop the kitchen floor…and maybe I am using the mop for a microphone.  Don’t you judge me.”  The song continues…

You and I, you, you and I You, you and I, you, you and I, I You and I, you, you and I Oh yeah, I'd rather die without you and I

C'mon, put your drinks up

He loosened his tie and bit his lip.

“Why don’t you dance with me instead, sweetheart.”  He extends his hand and wiggles his fingers a little.

“Really?  I smell like a combination of cleaning products and sweat, you sure you wanna do that?”

Of course he does not mind in the slightest.  “I’d really like you to dance with me, your singing would feel nice against my chest.”

You and I, you, you and I Baby, I'd rather die without you and I You and I, you, you and I Nebraska I'd rather die without you and I

“Well how can I say no to that?”  You take his hand, he pulls you quickly into his chest, and you continue to sing just for him this time.  

It's been a long time since I came around Been a long time but I'm back in town This time I'm not leaving without you

That’s enough cleaning for today.

4.  Crazy for You – Madonna  

Come on, you know I had to stick in a school dance/wedding song in here somewhere.  I needed my 13 Going on 30 moment because I love that movie. I imagine you and Matt going to one of your cousin’s weddings.  It’s probably one of the first big family events you’re taking him to and he decides today is the day he tells you he loves you.

Your cousin’s wedding was beautiful, maybe a little too beautiful.  The two of you were in Newport, RI and felt more than a little out of place, just because Newport is a very rich town.  The venue is way extra but hey, open bar right? You love weddings so you were determined to have a great time, especially with the sexiest man on your arm.  

You and your boyfriend, Matt have been together for a while, long enough for him to meet your parents and your siblings but not long enough for him to meet the extended family but today was that day.  You thought it went well, as well as it could go.  Periodically you checked to make sure that all the commotion wasn’t too much for Matt’s heightened senses and every time you asked him, he said he was good.  

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed he was in a deep conversation with your cousins and your brothers while you were talking to your mother and your grandmother however you didn’t notice when your youngest brother carefully led Matt over to the DJ who then handed him a microphone.

“Excuse me, everyone.  I’m sorry to interrupt this beautiful wedding, at least everyone is saying it’s beautiful, I wouldn’t know…blind guy.”  He holds up his cane and everyone laughed.  “Anyway, I was wondering if my lovely date would come up here, please.”

”Oh my god, Ma!  What is he doing?”  You whisper yell to your mother, then your brother starts to push you and chimes in…

“Well go on, y/n…go up there!”

The song starts…

Swaying room as the music starts Strangers making the most of the dark Two by two their bodies become one

You take his hand, put your left hand on his shoulder and he takes his right hand and rests it on your back.

I see you through the smokey air Can't you feel the weight of my stare You're so close but still a world away What I'm dying to say, is that

“This is how you ask me to slow dance with you, Murdock?”  You smiled “With everyone watching?  And you picked the most middle school dance song you could think of, didn’t you.”

He laughed and flashed his charming smile.

“Oh come on, sweetheart, I know you love this song.”

I'm crazy for you Touch me once and you'll know it's true I never wanted anyone like this It's all brand new You'll feel it in my kiss I'm crazy for you, crazy for you

“Well you are not wrong, I do love this song.”  God, this man made you so disgustingly happy.

He leans into your ear “I am ‘crazy for you’ as the song says.”  

A little embarrassed, you smile big and cover your eyes with your hand.  “You know I’m ‘crazy for you’ also.”

You could tell he was a little nervous for what he was about to say next…”Actually…” he paused and kissed your forehead…”I’ve wanted to tell you for a while…that…I…uh”

Looking up at him, you asked “What is it, Matty?  What do you want to tell me?”

You could feel his fingers fidgeting on your back so you knew he was anxious.  “I’ve wanted to tell you that…I love you.  I really, really love you.”

It's all brand new, I'm crazy for you And you know it's true I'm crazy, crazy for you It's all brand new, I'm crazy for you And you know it's true Yeah, I'm crazy for you Crazy for you, baby

With a smile on your face, you tilt your chin up to give him a little kiss on his lips and told him…

“Well I really, really love you too, handsome.”

5.  Bring It On Home to Me – Sam Cooke

Fun fact about me, I love old Motown and R&B.  I listened to a lot of classic rock growing up because that’s what my Dad loves but I remember him and my Mom also loving a lot of Motown and this song by Sam Cooke is one of my favorites.  So this one I thought about you and Matt cooking together, it’s just such a nice tempo for a happy slow dance, he could even throw a spin in there.  

On this dark and rainy afternoon, you left Matt in front of the stove, stirring the soup he helped you make while you cut up a few pieces of bread.  One of your playlists that he loves so much is playing in the background.  Bring It On Home to Me starts playing and you excitedly let out a little bit of a squeal…

If you ever change your mind About leaving, leaving me behind Baby, bring it to me Bring your sweet loving Bring it on home to me Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

“Awwww, Matty!!  I love this song!  I used to listen to it all the time with my parents!”

Matt smiles, puts the spoon down, and extends his hand…”Well c’mere beautiful.  I’ve always wanted to dance with a pretty girl in my kitchen.”

I know I laughed when you left But now I know I only hurt myself Baby, bring it to me Bring your sweet loving Bring it on home to me Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

A laugh escapes your lips while moving to the beat…”Yeah right, Murdock.  You expect me to believe that you’ve never used that line on anyone else?”

He stops dancing for a minute…”Lemme see your hand…”  He places your hand on his chest…”I’ve never danced in my kitchen with anyone except for you.”  His heartbeat was so steady  “You believe me now?”  He asked.  

You smiled and said…“Well…when you put it that way…You’re no liar, Matthew.”  

Matt kisses your nose and says…”You ready for the spin?”

Before you could protest, he spun you outward and pulled you back into him, both of you laughing with the rain coming down in the background.

One more thing I tried to treat you right But you stayed out, stayed out at night But I forgive you, bring it to me Bring your sweet loving Bring it on home to me Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

You continued to dance with your love even after the song was over, it was quiet with only the sound of the rain to move to now and you thought...maybe rainy days weren’t so bad after all.

Honorable Mentions:

1.Cry to Me – Solomon Burke  

For your Dirty Dancing moment before smexy time. (wink wink)

2.  Wonderful Tonight – Eric Clapton

Either before or after a really fancy date night

Again thank you for reading! I appreciate you!💕💕💕

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#matt murdock #daredevil #matt murdock playlist #matt murdock x you