Some of the roads I travelled, were precarious. Some of the turns I took, made me stumble and fall. Some of the paths I followed, led me to pain. But no matter what I faced alone, all of my steps led me to the safety of you.

“She didn’t quite know what the relationship was between lunatics and the moon, but it must be a strong one, if they used a word like that to describe the insane.”

— 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐨 𝐂𝐨𝐞𝐥𝐡𝐨

Happiness is not something you look for outside of you. You will not find it in a person, a place or material possessions. Happiness is something that lives within you. Feed it with love and it will grow.

Something inspired by sufi wisdom.

Video taken by me of Konyaaltı Beach, Antalya. Music by Ambyion.

"I love you, I love you, I love you.. these words can not express the way I feel enough but they will have to do."

I don't think there are any words in any language that quite describe how I feel about you - eUë

"I am not a smart man, but I know what love is.“

– Forrest Gump (1994)

I miss her. So I write her a note every day.

in some ways, I have everything I have ever wanted – an apartment to myself & a studio to dance in & a subaru & a sweater vest. but every time the curtain falls & I take a bow, I return home to my empty bed. I cobble together longing & wine, drink myself dry of the loss. I dream of dinner parties & crowds & a bed with you in it. instead, I walk alone in the woods. we spent the whole night awake, dragging chairs together to watch documentaries, eating ice cream in my car to avoid the mosquitoes. the next day, our knees touched under the table & my whole world spun. my friends are celebrating anniversaries & I am thinking about your pinky finger. by the time I finally ask you to paint my nails, it is too late. this is what we mean by temporality. I have loved a thousand times & also not at all. I saw us splayed on the page when we first caught eyes. we tried anyway. this is the hard part – our blind belief that friendship can transcend a botched confession & smudged nail polish. in the car, I accelerate & the peaches we picked roll off the dashboard. you catch them all as they fly through the air & we laugh so hard I nearly wreck. in the rearview mirror, I see your sunglasses & denim hat & soft eyes. one of us had to make a choice.

g.t.e. // on queer temporality

I'm not really sure why. But... do you stop loving someone just because they betray you? I don't think so. That's what makes the betrayal hurt so much - pain, frustration, anger... and I still loved her. I still do.

“The Final Empire” by Brandon Sanderson

🌼

Loving someone is taking a constant risk with your emotions. -Unknown

Come and hold me. Right here, within a dream.

“Many things interested her, and nothing satisfied her entirely.”

— 𝗜𝘃𝗮𝗻 𝗧𝘂𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘃, 𝘍𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘚𝘰𝘯𝘴

"Honesty is always essential for long-term relationships."

Silence speaks louder than words. Especially for an INFJ. No message from me is my message to you. No word from me is my last word to you.

"You are beautiful like this world has never seen, so beautiful like a dream.."

And my dreams say that I want to be with you forever and a day - eUë

Talk nonsense, but talk your own nonsense, and I'll kiss you for it. To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“If you ever heard what I heard in my mind. Never try, you would cry, that's a lie, you would die”

Venom by Little Simz

-via posttoxic

soon, I will be as old as you were when we first met. august glazes into an autumn of desire again. once, you told me you wanted to buy a toyota tacoma. longing is about putting together puzzles. you’re a corner piece & I’m lost in the middle. as much as I try, we don’t fit. in a lifetime, the human heart can create enough energy to push a truck to the moon & back. I don’t know anything about trucks but I have a thing or two to say about hearts & the moon. your heart is a postcard & a kitchen tile & an underwatered plant. I’ve mapped the journey to you & each time I end up lost. you are my everest, I suppose. I used to make fun of those men, the ones who spent their whole lives reaching for the unattainable. perhaps, I am more inclined to deprive myself of oxygen than we thought. I’ve held my breath for you more times than I can count. maybe I have what it takes to get to the moon. ninety seconds of breath holding & a lifetime of heart pumping. these are the things I lay at your feet.

g.t.e. // six years is a long time and not at all

One of the best things I've read.

To love and to be loved, is the ultimate purpose of life.