This is my first Christmas where I'm genuinely unhappy.
I've never been so mentally and emotionally tired in my life, and I'm sure, and afraid, its going to get worst. Somethings been going on between my parents which I'm sure will affect me eventually. Things at school are stressing and draining me. My thoughts are everywhere and are all thinking of the worst for what's to come in my life in the future. I feel so unaccomplished now that the year's coming to an end, and I really... really don't know what to think at this point.
The only thing I can do is just try. I'm doing my best and sometimes I forget worrying. I'm keeping my heads up but there are days where I'm just down, so down, and I let all the emotions out. I keep doing what I love, which is art, and hope for the best.
.
I've never vented here, but I guess I now know why some people do. Its relieving, getting all the emotions out especially when I have no one to talk to.
I wish everyone a Happy Holiday, and the best for the coming year.
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lila thoughts under the read more <3 🥀✨🌹🎸
lila getting with griffin / g reign and having their little thing in “secret” not only bc it’s what her parents did to each other to get back at the other for slights and arguments but also bc she wanted to not only get back at seven but also to be like “oo look at me i can pull griffin freaking reign i won teehee.” and then the clown catches real feelings for griffin and calls jazz near in tears bc she’s just like her mom 🥀✨🎸🤡 and using someone she loves to get back at someone who she loved may or may not have even loved (i think she did but loved more the idea ? it’s complicated!) but loved the IDEA of seven loving her? dear you know it everyone knows it you want to be loved so bad!!!!!! the sooner you admit that lila the sooner you’ll be much happier my love! so excited to see where things go for her ! and things for her and her beloved g!!!!!
(x) for the divider <3
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life's so fun, life's so fun
ultimate girl loving song. i felt like making something nice for pride and ended up trying new things and learning a lot.
click on the pictures for better quality. please <3
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Hearing "Stand clear of the closing doors, please." when I was watching Annie (2014) got my AJR loving ass to get all hyped up all because I heard the same damn voice saying the same damn thing from their "Making of Bang" video.
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In light of a certain new fic, I have a Very important question for you. What would Dan and Blair's wedding playlist consist of?
*cackling like a villian* muahahahhaaha I love this question bc it's not only a chance to rec more songs to you and push my taste on all you lovely followers, but it involves some very granular meta soul searching which greatly appeals to me. I am not going to do one of my full unhinged playlists but I will share a few links :)
I think Blair and Dan are def band people over DJ people, so they would opt for live music with a band that can play all the crowd pleasers. Blair obviously loves herself the standards, and so does Dan, for all his punk hipster tendencies, so there's lots of slow dances to be had. The following are selections that I believe the two of them would categorize as must-plays (to both their tastes), which would show up alongside the required reading for every wedding setlist : Whitney Houston, Beatles, Hall and Oates' "Making My Dreams Come True," and "Love on Top" plus Nate's pleas for more bangers
these are curated from the show itself, my Dair & Dan & Blair playlists, plus my personal "Standards to Yearn to," Post Modern Jukebox, and "Good Covers" playlists - I opted for lots of covers because that capture the wedding band vibe to me
This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) - as performed by Scott Bradlee's Post Modern Jukebox
Dreams - The Cranberries
Dancing on My Own - as performed by Morgan James
All the Things You Are - Ella Fitzgerald
Call On Me - Big Brother & the Holding Company
Never My Love - as performed by Jakob Dylan and Norah Jones
Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen
Tumbling Dice - as performed by The Gaslight Anthem
Dancing in the Dark - as performed by Scott Bradlee's Post Modern Jukebox
Till There Was You - as performed by Peggy Lee
Thank You - Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats
Still Into You - as performed by Scott Bradlee's Post Modern Jukebox
Songbird - as performed by Eva Cassidy
The Nearness of You - as performed by Morgan James
Time after Time - Cyndi Lauper (DUH)
Like Someone in Love - Chet Baker
Oh Me Oh My (I'm a Fool for You) - Aretha Franklin
What I Need - Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats
I Only Have Eyes for You - as performed by Scott Bradlee's Post Modern Jukebox
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I like how Haku is the one to receive the most comments from you. 🤣🤣 He's kinda silly in his own way, huh?
Haku and the other high school prisoners:
Ooh~! I can't wait to meet your prisoner 009! Anyone who is willing to befriend Akio is on another level™. I wonder how he'd get along with Ichiro as well. I'll be patiently awaiting his profile.
i actually didn't expect that myself, haku looks really cute, but he's not the type of character i usually would find the most interesting, haha. i just think it's hilarious how all the high school prisoners (and i have an elementary school oc as well) are so loud and dramatic (or in aimi's case, just.. way too friendly) meanwhile haku is just 😐😐
listen, seeing servant of evil as his cover just made me feel so nostalgic, okay? 😭 i'm not saying that at least two of my ocs would get akuno-p's songs as their covers if it wasn't for the spoilers about their crimes BUT and after reading his mv description and voiceline, i looked at his cover again and i was like "... okay, i can see how all these are connected"
prisoner 009 is, like, one of the craziest ones here along with shun and kei. honestly, his crime actually makes me go 😥😥 even though i can kinda understand his motives. his relationship with akio is so funny, because he really went "uhh you're cute so i want to be friends with you haha <3" yes, he was brave enough to say that to his face. he even flirted with one of the guards and convinced her to vote him innocent. he sure can mansplain and he sure can manipulate, but i wouldn't call him a malewife 😔 this makes him sound like a younger version of kei, but the thing is that kei lies about everything because he understands that what he's done (and still doing) is wrong no matter what he says meanwhile this guy really thinks that he's innocent because "that's what other people told him". really makes you think what kind of people he used to be friends with.
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actual conversation I had today.
older guy who’s part of the company I was working for: *looking at the stickers on my laptop* Do you even know who these people are?
me: well yeah!
him: *covers up my stickers* okay who’s Starsky
me: Paul Michael Glaser.
him: and which one is that?
me: THE DARK HAIRED ONE
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Dima PAFL is like if Mob MP100 had no morals (affectionate)
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out w the family again today <3
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songs + urls tag
tagged by the sweetest @confidentandgood to list songs that start with the letters of my url! thank you so much cam! 🤍
tagging: @griffin-wood, @risingsh0t, @blackreaches, @saintsilver, @marivenah, @leviiackrman, @arklay, @amistrio, @chuckhansen, @blissfulalchemist, @florbelles, @queennymeria, @loriane-elmuerto, @rosebarsoap, @shellibisshe, @jackiesarch, @statichvm, @pearlcscent, @trvelyans, @yennas, @nokstella, @nellplays, @lacunafiction, @danielsullivan, @cobb-vanthss, @aceghosts, @celticwoman, @flyntz, @swordcoasts, @hoesephseed, @pheedraws, @redroci and you!
I : i am not a woman, i’m a god - halsey
N: no good reason - omar apollo
O: open wound - ki:theory
D: DISTRACTIONS III: spoiled rotten - kilo kish
R: RAT WARS - HEALTH
I: i want to talk about you - ryo fukui
L: life on mars? - david bowie
N: NC-17 - HEALTH
E: eclipse - pink floyd
R: rihannon - fleetwood mac
E: excess - perturbator, HEALTH
V: vs reality - AYA GLOOMY
A: antagonistic - chris cardena, sebastian robertson, pacific avenue
R: running up that hill - kate bush
I: it’s raining vengeance - michael giacchino
N: no time to die - billie eilish
E: effortlessly - madison beer
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tagged by @jaehyukkies to share my top 5 on repeat right now according to spotify ! (ty eri ^u^)
(i think everything save moment and love dive are pretty correct >.< moment is the first in the album i think i loop undercover more tho by principle and love dive i feel like i don’t listen to much these days :]])
tagging: @parabataisarah @hoyoung @gatual and @boyswthluv ! but only if you want to ! no obligations ^^
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Tag game by @genxrocker! Pick a song for each letter of your URL, and then tag that many people!
YAY ty for tagging me @pathos-logical i love u🫶
M - Maybe by half•alive
O - ok ok? by half•alive
B - BREAKFAST by half•alive
T - Tip Toes by half•alive
I - ice cold. by half•alive
S - Subliminal by half•alive
M - Move Me by half•alive
teehee... i didnt need to make it all half alive but... i wanted to 😊🫶
i tag ! whoever wants to do this! genuinely idk who to tag so i tag all my mutuals really👍
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ok so two for each idol game im interested in rn
enstars
believe 4 leaves / moonlight disco
project sekai
kimagure mercy / shoujo rei
bandori
coruscate dna (tw for flashing) / poppin shuffle
THANK UUUUU FOR THESE frantically abt to put them on my spotify likes rn
hearing kimagure mercy again made me so happy 😭 coruscate dna is so good tho abt to replay it again n again TYYYY
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Astro obvs✨
people with scorpio in 5H usually could have strained or half way relationships even very turbulent
Venus-Neptune people can be very idealistic and have high , ideal standards in love or unhealthy ones
Water ruled 5H or Venus-moon people could like sad/low energy songs
Scorpio risings have a very this very serious , devoted approach about them
Most Aries risings imo have that “oh really😳” type of look
Cancer risings can have very soft , sensitive skin
Libra moons need alone time when dealing with emotions or they’ll talk them out
Venus-Pluto people depending the aspect can have toxic , unhealthy tendencies or obsessions when it comes to relationships or overall crushes even
Leo and Virgo energy makes some really conscious , laid back but also creative people and these people like observing first
Virgo Venus values sharing/receiving and giving maybe in a relationship if they’re really interested in you lol
Mars/Fire ruled 6H people may do a lot of moving around and exercise before starting a tasks/chore
Aquarius moon people may feel like no one will understand their point of view or how they feel so they just keep quiet
Virgo moons may expect you to know how their feeling instead of just them telling you
Cardinal signs forgive and forget
12H mercury can be prone to lying or manipulation because they know how people and their subconscious works also have an understanding of the mind and how if works
Water 6h people LOVE pets and may think of them as their child🫶
Sagittarius Venus people can contemplate on hours if they’re actually able or ready to being a full time relationship
Virgo MC people can do careers that involve helping others or relating to others (podcasts , daily journaling, music etc.)
Saturn-moon may have grown up fast or had to deal with adult situations/emotions or take on responsibilities from such a young age🫂
Pisces 2H people may spend a lot of their money on vinyls , metaphysical things , artwork or even alot of jewelry that means something to them
Aquarius risings can come off as “aloof” or awkward maybe even a bit “mean”
Libra 10H can be very good at attracting attention because of their beautiful/handsome and appealing personality, features or even their work
Cancer 5H may have started a certain hobby when they where young or in their hometown and they still use that as value
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made it into the top Oleta Adams listeners on lastfm feeling very proud rn
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