minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son
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roaring twenties tumblr simulator pt. 2
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men be like "i would never succumb to homosexuality" and then hold a mans face tenderly as he lights his cigarette with his own. okayy pansy we see you
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art deco more like art dicko! aaaand post
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attended a petting party last saturday and there were no animals not even at all :(
#WHY WOULD THEY CALL IT THAT
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i lov my mother and father so nuch forever i cannot wait to attend my new job at the dubious factory where there have never been any machinery incidents evr before
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Submitted by anonymous.
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thebeesknees Follow reblogged 🔁 jazzcat Follow
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The cocaine in coca-cola just doesnt hit the same anymore....
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OP they took out the cocaine
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY TOOK OUT THE COCAINE
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tumblr heritage post
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Hes so puppycoded
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moonshiningitup Follow reblogged 🔁 moonshiningitup Follow
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The eroticism of the machinery incidents at the dubious factory
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Easy website
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🥂 cake-eater Follow
There is a gang war in Chicago. The first gang to get to 100 kills, gets to take over that part of the city. You NEED to be careful, Babe Ruth. You could be at high risk because of your high status. PLEASE be safe, everyone in or around Chicago, and please reblog this to get it to the celebrities in Chicago
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One thing I love about the Percy Jackson tv series is that they very consciously avoid making Percy come off as stupid. He’s ADHD as they come, inattentive sure, and funny as hell but that doesn’t mean he’s dumb, and they never dumb him down for the joke.
I think even the fandom falls prey to dumb him down sometimes, so I feel soooo vindicated seeing the tv series portray him CORRECTLY—a young boy with learning disabilities + trauma, but who is bright and rebellious & quick on his feet & has this whole sea of potential that we get to explore :)
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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!
they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.
they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.
you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.
but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.
where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.
and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?
doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.
but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.
what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.
just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?
your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.
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it's about the small acts of intimacy... forehead kisses, putting jewelry on you, rubbing your hand with their thumb, putting a jacket on you, touching your necklace, running your hands through their hair, wiping away their tears, peeling them an orange, un/zipping their dress, tying their shoelaces, holding hands, removing an eyelash from their cheek, washing their hair, putting an anklet on them, tucking their hair behind their ear, sorting out their collar, untangling their necklaces, drinking out of a cup in their hands
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fanfic is so good bc the premise of some genres of fic are just inherently funny. I want these two grizzled crime drama protagonists to have some fucking fun for once, so they go to a water park. I dont care how i have to logic my way into them going there i dont care who has to drag them Theyre Going
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