#love when my friends who know my personal shit dont trigger tag the things ive asked for

[seraphimsinful]

Love that

#love when my friends who know my personal shit dont trigger tag the things ive asked for #whatever #also talking to my mom is giving me actual psychic damage

[lunar-lair]

I adore your tags on the post about my cousin asjdkskflg. perfection. and good on you for never doing what the comic showed!

When I was 19, I tried alcohol for the first time. it was basically sparkling fruit juice but I hated it. oh god I hated it so much and I didn’t get why adults loved this stuff??????? but my friends/classmates were always like ‘oh yummy, love me some flavored nail polish” so I kept quiet so no one would know something was wrong with me

turns out everyone I knew was severely exaggerating (trying to fit in). one guy said he dumped his beer in the bushes during a frat party. a girl I went camping with poured water into an empty vodka bottle so she could ‘participate’ without anyone mocking her. a classmate once showed me their trick for pretending to sip by covering the top of the bottle with their hand. I even remember being 22 and trying to claim ‘8 shots don’t affect me’ as if my worth as a human being was calculated by the number of empty glasses I collected

Drinking is a rite of passage for a lot of people. you’re mature if you drink and adults love it, so you can’t be a ‘real adult’ if you don’t drink. It’s less about liking the taste or enjoying yourself - people want to feel part of the ‘in group’ and they do this by othering the ‘out group.’ (in group- likes ‘manly’ drinks, never gets tipsy, takes shots by the handful, etc.) (out group- lightweight, doesn’t drink at all, likes fruity drinks, etc.)

I have severe ADHD and a family history of alcoholism so I have to be extremely careful. addiction is no joke and people don’t treat alcohol like the drug it is. Some families won’t inform their kids of a health history that increases risk factors (or might not even know) which makes underage drinking even more dangerous

…

TO CONCLUDE THIS ADVICE RANT TRIGGERED BY SUDDENLY REALIZING AT 3AM THAT I HAVE MINORS FOLLOWING ME and should probably try to set a good example;

enjoy being 16 and don’t adhere to the rite of passage cultural that makes you ‘look forward to being [insert legal drinking age].’ I know how isolating it can feel when everyone appears to be ‘growing up’ and doing adult things without you, but if nothing else I’ve learned that being the only sober person in a group full of fools is free comedy

*disclaimer for angry internet ppl; things are complex, perspective is subjective, and a single persons experiences cannot be accepted as the ‘one holy truth’*

Oh lmao. Ok ill answer this in blocks the same way you wrote it also hi!!!!! :DDD yet again this is funny?? I spent a good 10 mins commenting on evanescant signs earlier lmao. ok 1st block alright

It is so very funny you say that bc ive actually tried gin. Takes like shitty peppermint and blueberries. Same for red wine, tho i had permission that time (still tasted like shit); never beer tho!! Regardless tonic also tastes Bad, all of my experiences w it have been Bleh. Not to say i ever had more than a sip/severely watered down gulp

PPASNSPSJPD OK LISTEN TO ME. Ive actually tasted nail polish remover AND nail polish before (finger sucking habits r.i.p spaced out bc epic f) AND IT LITERALLY TASTES LIKE THAT AOSJSOSJ. Like the same shit as they put on switch cartridges dude!! Except, comparatively, the only ppl I Personally know who drink like. Period at all are full blown adults i just dont get them either

AND ITS LIKE 4 AM HERE TOO SO IM HANDLING THIS SO V V CLUMSILY RIP but yea!! I mean, peer pressure is lowkey nonexistent in my town; we are so so so so christian and apparently a ton of bad shit happens a lot? But it never reaches me sooo w/e lmao. Literally havent heard abt anyone i know drinking underaged enough for it to be like. Anything other than 'hehehe i sipped the gin in the fridge >:3' like my shit was which is straight up curiosity. Also i already know that lmao; havent been in a room with a bunch of 13 yr olds whove huffed sharpies before?

(Ok 1 how did u get italics in ask?? And 2 lmao dw too bad. Epic disclaimer ofc!! But im like. In this lil Bubble where i have like 180 followers but no one ever actual interacts w my shit its v funny)

#rip yet again. uh *looks at my social anxiety* yea lmao what do how make normal conversation?? #and wh. wait i. wait brb #ok nvm for a sec i brain broke and i thought you were 19. crisis absolved i would be. absolutely insane if u were like 13 when i started #reading ur shit but its just like 5 am and im go crazy go stupid just a lil #the way i reflexively tried to tag this danny phantom #trash talks #lmao im not tagging ur name srry. long af huh

[frillshark-fr]

How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question

i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort. 

so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful

1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire!  but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened

-----

2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr!  Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.

-

2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come

-----

3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void. 

-

3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.

the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?

-

3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think

-----

4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that   if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything!  people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!! 

-

4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”

- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.

-----

okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class

edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:

i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine

#if anyone is interested i can make a post about my process for finding new dragon pairs? #i’d just include it here but this post is long enough as it is oo;; #Anonymous

[stuckylibrary]

Group Ask 183

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Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said:

Hi, can you help me find this fic, it’s pre serum Stucky, little Steve was very sick and someone tells Bucky Steve is going to die so he runs to Steve’s home crying, that’s all I remember. I’ve been looking for it for on the and can’t find it. :(

at6am said:

hello! ive been looking for this fic for the longest time, looked through every tag and i fear it has been removed :/ basically, bucky is “hiding” from an abusive ex. he finds him and confronts him, but steve sees him while hes on a run, and chases him off. he invites bucky to stay at his place to protect him. i remember steve being military. at the end, the boyfriend finds him and has a fight with bucky, where he breaks his jaw, but then steve arrives and shoots him, i think. help :(

Anon 2 said:

hii, I have a question, I'm looking for a fic! What I know about it, is that they are in some kind of sex club? Steve is a Dom, Bucky a Sub. Bucky thinks Steve is too nice and gentle and unexperienced at first and unintentionly makes fun of him, Steve doesn't take his shit and takes him into the dungeons, where only the most experienced Doms can go? I think it was even Nats club, or sum like that. Thanks so much already!!

Anon 3 said:

love y'all to bits. mwah x. i was wondering if u guys know abt a fic where steve n bucky are in avengers tower, slow dancing (i think the rest of the gang are there but not necessarily watching them?) and either steve or bucky gets super emotional bc they're pining and run out w/ the other following ??

Anon 4 said:

I've been trying to find a fic for hours but I cant remember the name of it. I remember that it was a modern au, bucky and steve were roommates or something, and whenever bucky cried, he only cried a single tear. They kissed at a christmas or new years party, but bucky ran away when steve didnt kiss back. Also, the author always refered to the space between the living room and kitchen as "no man's land", dont know why that certain detail stuck out at me. Pls help and thanks!

thefrenchfern said:

Hello! First of all many thanks for your wonderful work, your blog is so useful to find recommandations!! I am looking for a fic,where Bucky is working as a tailor (with Natasha) and he is also writing books under an alias. Steve is working nearby (in a gym maybe?) and he reads Bucky's book and he puts updates on goodreads? I also remember something about post it wirtten by Bucky to make Steve know its him. Many thanks for your help

Anon 5 said:

Hi, I feel like I have been looking for this fic forever everywhere. In it Bucky comes to Avengers Tower post Winter Soldier. He is recovering but he realizes Steve is lost too, and none of the other Avengers seem to realize. He starts gently bossing Steve around. He has Steve get his 40’s haircut back and Bucky buys 40’s style clothes for Steve to wear. They buy a farm and move out there, adopting a dog. Bucky gets set off by a trigger word and hides in the barn. Please help! Thank you!

Anon 6 said:

I lost a shrunkyclunks fic where Bucky meets Steve on the subway (or bus?) and they become fast friends, but Steve has a lot of money and Bucky is poor so every time they go out somewhere Bucky doesn't want to mention that he really can't afford to do much of anything. That's all I remember, do you know which fic I'm talking about? Thank youuuu

Anon 7 said:

Hi, desperate for some help here. I can only remember this one really specific detail from a fic I read recently, Steve asked Bucky something he'd never told anyone before, Bucky said he had Becca's kid for a weekend (?) and he said his first word at Bucky's place (the word had something to do with an ad on tv and was a pretty unusual first word), he never told Becca. Becca called Bucky a week later saying he did it again. Thanks for any help!!

artisticrogers1972 said:

I was reading a wonderful STUCKY fic; linked here from A03 and have lost it. This was maybe two-three days ago. It was about Bucky and Steve from the time they were kids on up and Bucky's mom was Roma. Bucky was in love with Steve but thought if he went with girls he'd be fine. They'd push beds together in the winter. Someone, please help!! I want to finish. It's part of a series and my head, with all the migraines, is easily forgetting titles

celestial-star-petals said:

Hello I'm looking for a fic that's post winter soldier I think. Bucky surrenders himself over to SHIELD and fury and maria have him imprisoned at headquarters but no one tells Steve, who, when he finds out immediately goes to him. Bucky doesn't leave so Steve visits as often as possible and so do the other avengers, sam, nat, pepper too. tony comes along tinkers with something in buckys cell and drops something that later helps bucky escape. Thank you for your help!!

cevansebb said:

hi guys do you know that fic (i rhink its recovery!bucky post tws fic) where bucky is OBSESSED with steve’s cowlick? if you could find it i’d appreciate it alot thank you!

Anon 8 said:

hi! i’m looking for a post-cacw fic where before helping bucky, wanda gives steve trigger words which makes bucky freak out, but then she takes them away. do you guys happen to know it? thanks :)

harrieserendipity said:

Hello stuckylibrary friends 🥰 I just went through a few of your tags looking for a fic that takes place pre-war. It’s summer& really hot out so Steve& Bucky have to sleep outside on their balcony/deck to keep cool overnight. Bucky wakes up w Steve asleep on top of him & like throws him off. It’s a prewar pining sort of thing I believe, but I went through that entire tag. I also know that this fic isn’t August and her sons, I thought it was but I just reread it and it’s not. Thanks friends!❤️

Anon 9 said:

hi! im pretty sure this was a pretty popular fic but i can't find it even with ao3 tags. it's post ca:ws steve+bucky w/ the avengers and one mission goes wrong and steve nearly dies and bucky confesses his feelings in panic but once he realizes that everyone heard him b/c the coms were still on, he dips and completely avoids steve?? i love y'all to bits, i hope you guys have been safe and healthy

#group asks

[dumbassscout]

i see a lot of 13 yr olds on tumblr these days, so id like to share some advice i wish i had known using tumblr at age 13.

this is also probably not an original idea from me lol, someone has got to have done this before. i would usually put this under a cut but ive decided not to for now

be aware that this site is like NOTORIOUSLY harmful. you may think you’re above it or too mature for it to hurt you, but trust me, you aren’t. since you will probably not be stopped by that warning, maybe take some precautions/keep some stuff in mind to stay safe.

i had tumblr savior for my first experiences with the site. im pretty sure it still works and it’s regularly updated, so take a look into that. it blocks posts with certain keywords from being seen on your radar, and can also push/allow posts with other keywords to always be shown. i would advise getting it or a similar extension to custom block triggering/harmful content.

don’t put other/more popular users in your fandom/community on a pedestal. they’re people behind a blog, just like you are. don’t feel intimidated by the people in your own community, they are just people the same way you are a person. they can mess up at times, and so can you.

making friends is a great thing on this site, but keep an eye on new online friends’ behaviors. it is exciting to meet new people, but you want to be aware of toxic friends. same goes for your mutuals. overall, keep people on this site at an arm’s length until you’ve gotten to know them enough personally to know that they’re genuine people. as you get older you can relax on this, but as a young teen it’s better to be hyperaware than to be blissfully ignorant as you get hurt.

onto more broad things, your theme doesn’t have to be perfect. you dont have to make a custom html/edited html website theme for your blog, you can leave it as tumblr default. if you enjoy organizing that, then by all means go ahead! but don’t feel like it is necessary for your blog, most of the time you will get a new theme set up and check on it on a month and find that it actually looks terrible to you. if you’d rather just have it as a basic/default site, then that is perfectly normal.

your blog’s theme/topic is your choice, and can be uniquely you. some people have many blogs for many things, just a few, or just one with everything. it is up to you how you want to do it! the themes you choose, topics, are up to you. fads and trends are cool but finding what works for you personally is way more fun. your blog is supposed to be fun. you are supposed to enjoy using tumblr. don’t compromise that for a trend. make your blog(s) however you want, however it pleases you. it can feel pressuring to have a perfect blog, but it’s better to just make your appearance the way it would make you happy.

also, tag systems are awesome! but they are not necessary unless you’re tagging trigger warnings. always tag those! but i know a lot of people have personal tagging systems to organize their blog, which is totally cool! but again, personal tag systems are not necessary, and if they feel unnecessary to you, don’t use them. but again, tag triggering content, especially if you are asked to.

archiving/deleting/creating new blogs is a whole other process. some people like to start with a clean slate every time they switch to a new fandom, and let their old user be archived or deleted. this is perfectly respectable (and probably the right thing to do) personally, i just switch my blog over to whatever im feeling that month and people can unfollow if they no longer enjoy my blog (i dont have that big of a following on this blog). it’s really a personal decision, and if you want to restart your blog you will know when to/if you want to.

reblog art, but never “repost” it. aka dont take the image and post it on your own blog, just reblog it from the original poster. its common sense but not everyone knows? idk

if you end up having some or many followers, make sure to check yourself. appreciate your followers, respect them. they are people with blogs. just like you. don’t let a high number inflate your ego way out of proportion, it’s easy to fall into that sense of power.

respect people’s pronouns. even if you for some reason have a disagreement with them, or you don’t understand why/how their identity works, just use the correct pronouns that they ask you to. it costs you zero dollars and zero cents, and is incredibly respectful

as a young teen, don’t get involved/let yourself get buried in tumblr-wide discourse. examples of this include the bi vs pan debate, flag discourse etc. most ppl who i know who were attentive to things similar to that at a young age ended up being affected negatively by it. pay some attention to what pertains to you and also pay attention to what you can identify as right or wrong, but don’t let people’s opinions on your dash influence you in times of discourse. go and look at both sides of those kinds of debates if you’re interested, and form an opinion from there.

speaking of which, sometimes people will just post their takes on literally anything and youll come across it. take everything with a grain of salt unless there is links to proof (if applicable, not always needed). sometimes bad takes just havent had someone to reblog and disprove yet.

speaking of discourse, there is always discourse on this site in every fandom, every community. form your own opinions always, but keep your moral compass in mind. don’t compromise your morals and sense of right and wrong to enjoy certain fan-media. if something seems off, it probably is.

people make mistakes, and if someone did something kind of shitty/had a terrible take/belief (not irredemably shitty, those ppl do not need ur attention) and they genuinely apologize for the shit they did and learn from it, move on. leave some shit in the past, holding grudges isnt good for your mental health and people change. but again, always take things with a grain of salt.

you dont need a high follower count to get traction on your posts. it might help, but you can have a low follower count with high interaction or a high follower count with little to know interaction. the best advice i have is to tag what it is relevant to, whether it’s a fandom, aesthetic, etc and people who regularly check those tags will find it.

if you ever get anon hate for some reason, just delete it from ur inbox n move on. ppl who send anon hate want to see you post it and respond to it. if they said some really really MEAN shit though, it may be best to talk to a friend about it for comfort, or take a break from tumblr for a hot min. most importantly, report it, close your ask box/change it to no anonymous asks.

if at some point you choose to voice your opinion about a highly debated topic at the time, be aware that people who disagree might attack you for it. be aware, and be safe about it.

a lot of people swear by xkit. i have never used it in my life, but from the looks of it, it makes using tumblr so much more bearable. it breaks sometimes with tumblr updates, but apparently it’s worth it. again, look into it, but it’s not necessary to use the site.

do niche shit. start sideblogs without a plan in mind. make aus, make art, make writing, or make nothing at all. reblog the things you love wherever you want them to be reblogged. comment on people’s creations if you love them, they probably would love to hear how much you enjoyed it. appreciate how wonderful the better part of this site is, enjoy the free access to view and appreciate others’ creations and ideas.

i would put a lot more on here, but i feel like 20 is probably too much already. if anyone has anything to add, definitely rb with ur addition

overall, do the things you love on here, keep yourself safe, and be respectful of others.

#i dont shut up

[shattered-catalyst]

So this  isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this  because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it. 

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it. 

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period.  It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

 I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients.  During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.  

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*.  She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything. 

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry,  and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life. 

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning. 

 I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

 I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

 Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are. 

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’

#suicide tw #gaslighting tw #emotional abuse tw

[yehet-sebooty-ohorat]

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged.

I was tagged by: @eurazba thanks buddy for this lol

Let’s go!

LAST:

Last drink: Idk man I just work up probably water at 4 am when I got woken up by the trash people...again

Last phone call: My dad 

Last text message: well if we are doing texts it was @chanyodels about my stupid friends ( @minseoksmelaningoddess ) :) love you 

Last song you listened to?:  KoKoBop just stopped playing lol

Last time I cried: When my friend triggered me so bad that i was stuck on the couch unresponsive for 10 minutes and I cried without meaning too (its fine it was sekai related)

HAVE YOU EVER:

Dated someone twice: lmao no (#rip #imsalty #andLonelySomeoneHelp)

Been cheated on: Nope

Kissed someone and regretted it: I have never been kissed

Lost someone special: Ok I could go super deep with this and that would be depressing so we will stick with yes, a lot

Been depressed: Yeet

Been drunk and thrown up: No, alcohol is icky <= same 

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: Yeppers 

Fallen out of love: Nah

Laughed until you cried: Ye, many a time

Met someone who changed you: Yees

Found out who your true friends are: Sure???

Found out someone was talking about you: idk man 

GENERAL:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: At least 20 probably, Ive gotten to meet quite a few mutuals and a lot of my friends are on here

Do you have any pets?: 2 doggo 2 kitteh (but not with me at college)

Do you want to change your name?: Nah

What time did you wake up this morning?: *clears throat* 3:45, 5, 6:30, 7:15, 8, 8:30, 9:15, 9:30 then I gave up

What were you doing last night?: Working on my coding project, crying over chinese, trying not to die, eating way too many pillsbury cookies

Name something you cannot wait for: Idk when they are gonna do it but EXO doing something. Like their tour. Im also pretty damn excited for my dance performance in November and getting to meet Adam Savage and Michael Stevens in noovember

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:  Yes, multiple toms multiple times

What’s getting on your nerves rn?: People in general

Blood type: A negative

Nickname: ok so andrew calls me trash, potato, sehun stan, exhoe, one track, fam, and a bunch of other shit. There is a squad that calls me Hun and Hunnie for a reasom *cough* @official-willis , but also i am similar to sehun, some people say my queen to me to trigger the fuck out of me. But I dont have any based off my name

Relationship status: Single as fuck but idk?????

Zodiac sign: Virgo

Pronouns: she/her 

Favorite tv show: shhhhhhhhhh too many

College: South Henrietta institute of technical difficulties (thats the meme title my dudes I just made it but its RIT)

Hair colour: Brown

Do you have a crush on someone:Yes, i usually have lots and they vary from friend crush to real crush. Currently I can think of over 10 

What do you like about yourself: I can draw super well and get super motivated sometimes. I learn dances super fast which is lit

FIRSTS:

First surgery: They had to cut a muscle in my mouth in like 7th grade 

First piercing: none

First sport you joined: Track (lol i died)

First vacation: Canada

First pair of sneakers: dude idk they probably lit up tho

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: Nothing but im gonna make a sandwich in a while

Drinking: Water?

I’m about to: finish this post then my coding project

Listening to: EXO The 4th Album THE WAR repackage: Power

Want kids: currently no but someday probs

Get married: As long as we are cute as shit and get along yes otherwise no. But this is complicated I have a lot of feels. But you bet your ass I would marry Sehun or Jongin so hard

Career: Student currently but Game Design

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Eyes

Hugs or kisses: Dude fuck if I know

Shorter or taller: Taller for people, shorter for class times

Older or younger: I dont really care but im used to everyone being older than me so that

Romantic or spontaneous: Romanticccccccccc

Sensitive or loud: ?

Hook up or relationship: Relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant: Depends on the situation, more often than not hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: no

Drank hard liquor: nope

Lost glasses/contacts: dont need them 

Sex on first date: again... havent even held a hand

Broken someone’s heart: idk man

Been arrested: No

Turned someone down: no

Fallen for a friend: yes... so much

DO YOU BELIEVE:

In yourself: for certain things yeah

Miracles: ok this could be an essay. I would say i hope in miracles. I definitely have likely experienced a few such as finding exo when i needed them, making certain friends, stuff like that

Love at first sight: No? I=yeah no

Heaven: yes?

Santa Claus: Ok no but fuck yes

I Tag: 

the aforementioned @minseoksmelaningoddess and @chanyodels as well as @exo-trashbean and I think we will do some followers so 

@ratedmformadip @adajjau if they wanna do it

[undeademoprincess]

82 Truths

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by @hoseokjinns bruh this has been sitting in my drafts for how many eons????

name: Dawn blood type: b nickname(s): Celeste (cousins mainly) and then anything else is adding an e or i sound to the end of my name (tho i have noticed dawners is a frequent name) r/s: dead inside zodiac sign: libruh pronouns: she\her favorite tv shows: dude, i havent seen any tv shows since i was 8, that was well over a decade ago. i collect the dvd/blurays of tv shows but not often. my mother and i are really into futurama but other than that its usually animes that i collect long or short hair: literally lopped my hair off myself like 3 days ago height: 5′5″ do you have a crush on someone: if fictional characters count then yes, the husband list keeps growing and i need another closet to shove them in but real life im fighting a “battle” what do you like about yourself: i have yet to be called annoying or that im an ass to those i love and i support them with all i can, so ive got that going for me right or left handed: right, tho i am ambidextrous over weird ass shit. like gymnastics im left dominate in??? idfk either man list of three favourite colors: literally any color associated with fall/autumn and ill be a happy camper

right now: eating: just ate a cracker that had peanut butter on it cause im munchin hard drinking: sweet h2o man i’m about to: probably go to bed or i might work on my drafts for my writing blog, havent decided yet listening to: a mix about cats, love, breakfast and being tired by in love with a ghost (on youtube) kids: hell no, unless i know i can support the damn thing with all i can while living comfortably along with someone i KNOW wont leave both me and the kid and help me then maybe, but its still a really strong no. pets are fam tho, so technically i have like 5 kids already get married: down for that, annoying someone all the time as a “job” sounds fun, especially if we get late night adventures and do weird ass cooking class shit for fun. ITS IN THE CONTRACT YA KNOW career: i really want to travel the world and get paid to do so, but at my own pace

most recent: drink: water????? idk what you want from me man im a thirsty hoe for livin phone call: been on discord all day today with 2 of my best friends and listening to music with my bot the other half on it song you listened to: lauv reforget (literally just came on) 

have you ever: dated someone twice: no been cheated on: nope, and im not the type to let them get away with it if they ever did kissed someone and regretted it: no lost someone special: yes been depressed: yes, began at a very young age due to the death of my father. literally had a midlife crisis when i was 4 cause of his death been drunk and thrown up: hell no kissed a stranger: no had glasses or contacts: glasses had sex on the first date: no, not really my thing broken someone’s heart: i think so, never really ask how they felt about it afterwards turned someone down: yuuuup cried when someone died: yes fallen for a friend: mmmmm, not really??? i usually crush on an acquaintance and my friends drag them in and somehow become friends later??? 

in the last year have you: made a new friend: uuuuuh, maybe 3??? i dont like leaving my house nor do i like wasting my time on strangers, especially if theyre rude fallen out of love: yeah laughed until you cried: many times, MANY FUCKING TIMES met someone who changed you: uh, i think so??? idk, i kinda find my own flow in life and people either respect it and enjoy the ride with me or fight it, and i dont have the energy to deal with pointless shit found out who your true friends were: ooooh yeah found out someone was talking about you: humans talk, its natural. i dont really do anything but i can see why someone WOULD talk shit if thats what this is asking about kissed someone on your fb list: ew no

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes hugs or kisses: hugs, i like being warm shorter or taller: both have pros and cons romantic or spontaneous: both? both sensitive or loud: idk what the fuck this is asking about but if its about being around people who are loud or sensitive then neither, im sensitive to headaches so loud people irritate me and trigger the pain and ive had bad experiences in person with sensitive people where they dont leave me alone and wind up stalking me???? i love being alone so neither hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: one can be kinda fun but also a pain in the ass if they get you into trouble a lot and the other might not be as constantly fun per say but at least you shouldnt be in trouble as often 

first: best friend: Samantha surgery: thankfully nothing yet sport i joined: badminton  vacation: everything my parents did was while i was literally an infant soooooo yeah, greaaaaat memories

do you believe in: yourself: not all the time, but i rely on myself more than anyone else. i dont trust anyone for shit when i know damn well i can do it myself and know that if something goes wrong i myself fucked it up and can probably fix my mistake miracles: yes and no, i believe theres a reason for things to happen the way they do, and there are times i see it as miracles love at first sight: i believe in attraction at first sight, not immediately seeing someone soul or some shit heaven: im more for reincarnation and spiritual aspects in life and death

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: 90% of them do you have any pets: im not counting my outside pets because there are too many to even keep track of to count so my children are 5 cats, toto my conure, oz my dog, tubby my gecko, and a beta fish and a catfish do you want to change your name: if i ever did, which i dont want to do, it’d be either Celeste or Aurora (my mom actually debated on calling me aurora after like the disney princess if you will and funny enough shes always been my favorite princess) what did you do for your last birthday: 2 of my friends kidnapped me and took me to dinner and we drove around and looked at interesting things. this years its during ren faire and im so damn happy what time did you wake up today: 9 pm. im sick atm and its really fucking up my sleep schedule  what were you doing last night at midnight: just got out of a call with one of my best friends and sat on my own server for a bit chillin with my music bot before my other best friend joined my after like SIX HOURS, DAMN YOU SIMON something you can’t wait for: ren faire, getting married cause then i get to sweater slap someone and get away with it, and being comfortably happy in life last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago? i went to the kitchen to get my cat to love on her and saw her then what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i had more determination to see things through and not be scared to take the leaps to see it through have you ever talked to a person named tom: i worked in retail, so probably what’s getting on your nerves: a lot of things, mainly petty things. kinda wanna cut a toxic person out of my life but we all know thats easier said than done especially seeing how he talks to literally all of the people i talk with on a daily basis save one soul and he treated her like shit when he talked to her sooo yeah, dunno wtf is his problem but im tired of being the object of his frustration and anger, idk how the rest of my friends deal with his shit but im just so damn DONE

man im not taggin 25 people. if youd like to tag me as a “i found it from so and so” then go for it man, let youre dreams run free friend. im just a lazy sack of shit and am tired and im amazed im still up and that its TAKEN ME A MILLION DAMN YEARS TO DO THIS IM SO SORRY LEANNE

#my post #tagging meme

[sugakookiessss]

tagged by @01bri . thank you so much!!!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: peach green tea from starbucks 2. Phone call: my mom 3. Text message: my friend viviana bc i was telling her about this old lady giving me the stink-eye for blasting celia cruz out the car lol 4. Song you listened to: tequila by g.soul

5. Time you cried: last night over how good haechan looked in cherry bomb (REBLOG IF YOU AGREE LMAO)

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nope, and wouldnt want to. if we broke up we gonna stay broken up lol 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: havent kissed anyone 8. Been cheated on: nope 9. Lost someone special: yes, sadly 10. Been depressed: yup, but i think my depression is well handled now 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nah man, im a child of jesus 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: maroon/crimson, forest green, & dusty rose

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes! 16. Fallen out of love: lol, never been in love 17. Laughed until you cried: every damn day lmao 18. Found out someone was talking about you: mhm, and i shut that shit down real quick. dont mess with a cuban/italian lmao 19. Met someone who changed you: my friend caleb 20. Found out who your friends are: yes, and im glad i have. i dont need any more negativity in my life 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i think pretty much all of them except for like 5 or so 23. Do you have any pets: i have a cat named sammi and he is the spawn of satan LMFAO 24. Do you want to change your name: i used to when i was little because i thought it was boring, but now i really like and appreciate it 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i went out with two friends for lunch, and then we blasted suavemente and danced in the best buy parking lot at like 10:30 at night XD 26. What time did you wake up: around 1:30pm. it wouldve been later but my mom said she brought home mcdonalds lol 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: facetiming my friend viviana and crying over how good haechan looked in the cherry bomb mv 28. Name something you can’t wait for: GRADUATION!!!!!!! SENIOR YEAR BITCHES LETS MAKE IT GOOD 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like 5 mins ago lol

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: bring my friend caleb back 31. What are you listening to right now: myself typing this long ass q&a post lmfao 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: idk probably 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ignorant and uneducated people like ughhhhhh 34. Most visited websites: probably youtube, my online course website, and buzzfeed bc i love to procrastinate by doing a quiz when i should be doing my classes lol

35. Mole/s: i have like 3 on my neck ( 2 of them are close together so it looks like a vampire bite, i know its dope asf lmao) 36. Mark/s: i have a bunch of beauty marks/freckles all over my body, plus scars on my legs for being a complete idiot as a kid who thought she was fucking superman at the playground XD 37. Childhood dream: to become a marine biologist, or go to hogwarts (idgaf about marine biology anymore, but im still pressed i never got my acceptance letter to hogwarts) 38. Hair color: naturally blonde, but its dyed to a redish-brown now 39. Long or short hair: medium-long hair 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope, all the boys at my school crusty asf 41. What do you like about yourself: my sense of humor, my sass and wittiness (basically my personality in general), and my eyes 42. Piercings: 2 on each lobe 43. Blood type: idk but i think its AB 44. Nickname: tori and grandpa lol 45. Relationship status: single and an independent woman who dont need no man 46. Zodiac: taurus/gemini cusp 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: rupauls drag race, and impractical jokers

49. Tattoos: none yet, but when i turn 18 next year im getting one for my bday and more down the line

50. Right or left hand: leftie! 51. Surgery: none, thank jisoos 52. Hair dyed in different color: shit my hair has been the whole fucking rainbow lmfao. ive dyed it red, magenta, pastel pink, dark blue, red/brown, and purple.

53. Sport: i used to play volleyball and basketball but i ended up breaking my ankle so its difficult to run around now (also im a lazy piece of shit too lmao) 55. Vacation: i just recently went to savannah, ga & washington d.c to see some family (me and my cousin binge watched the harry potter series the whole time it was lit) 56. Pair of trainers: im guessing we talking about sneakers. the only nice ones i got are my adidas, the rest are like converse and keds lol

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: i had sushi for dinner. blessed the fuck up 58. Drinking: peach green tea from starbucks lol 59. I’m about to: finish working on my english project (kill me pls) 61. Waiting for: monsta x first win (wow i love triggering myself) :) 62. Want: PEOPLE TO STOP SLEEPING ON MONSTA X SO THEY CAN GET THEIR FIRST WIN FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD ASDFGHJKLDKDFK 63. Get married: i dont think i want to get married bc i dont like feeling like im held down. maybe when im on the verge of becoming a crazy cat lady i’ll reconsider lol

64. Career: music producer, psychologist, or private investigator

65. Hugs or kisses: i dont really have a preference but i guess hugs 66. Lips or eyes: EYES! 67. Shorter or taller: i would like someone taller than me idk just bc

68. Older or younger: older, but not by too much. i think the max would be like 5 years older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: IM A SUCKER FOR SOME NICE ARMS LIKE SDJSDLKNAFGK;FKFd 71. Sensitive or loud: LOUD. i cant have someone too sensitive it would drive me insane. i have a really strong personality, so if you sensitive as shit you’d probably cry just bc i looked at you lmfao 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: probably somewhere in the middle. i dont want someone who is too scared/hesitant to do anything fun, but i dont want someone who will put me in a lot of bad situations. just a little mischievous lol

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: possbily vodka oF COURSE I HAVENT I AM A CHILD OF JESUSSSSSSSS 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: my grandma freaking threw my glasses in the trashcan when i asked her to hold them while i went to play basketball with my neighbor 77. Turned someone down: many times lmao 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: possibly idk 80. Had your heart broken: by my biases bc they dont know i exist :’) 81. Been arrested: nah, and lets keep it that way lol 82. Cried when someone died: of course, im not that heartless 83. Fallen for a friend:i dont think i have

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: 100% 85. Miracles: no

86. Love at first sight: lmfao no 87. Santa Claus: when i was little 88. Kiss on the first date: depends

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: ayszha 91. Eye color: hazel 92. Favorite movie:harry potter and the order of the pheonix

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE:

@won-markiepooh-woo @joshuahxng-kong @owopinky @echoayszha @puppyoongs @shownu-the-muscles @skittleluver101 @trollintraining @blockbyung @u-r-my-bias @puervy @tahyungs @jinn1e @min-yoongle @ole-dole-peaches @minyoong-ii @spidermalfoy11 @johnnys-hypewoman @sunshine-hoseok @joishua

(pretty much just tagged my mutuals. you dont have to do this if you dont want to, and if i didnt tag you and you would like to do this tag go right ahead!)

#tags #tag game #all about me #all about me tag #me #about me

[hoetron]

okay christ i got tagged in htis massive tag game by @mothable but i love a good ol challenge lets do this buckfucks

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88, THEN TAG SOME PEOPLE

BASICS:

a. NAME AND PRONOUNS: Rae, she/her

b. AGE (and birthday!): 13, Aug 28th :3c im a fucking fetus ny’all

c. SEXUALITY: am i bi? am i lesbian? am i just craving existential death 24/7? i dont fucking know a thing my guy

d. GENDER: cis female hooooh

e. COUNTRY: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

f. FAVORITE AESTHETIC: pastel colours and really nice fashion i guess..??? (also smoking is kind of aesthetic eyes emoji eyes emoji)

TRIGGERS/MENTAL ILLNESSES: i’m not actually sure :x

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: salt water hah normal water is for the WEAK (dont drink salt water please im begging y

2. PHONE CALL: my brother asking what kind of pizza i wanted

3. TEXT MESSAGE: “:3c” im such a fufcking furry...fuckck,,,,

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Daydream warriors by Aquors listen nyall im reconnecting with my hidden buried weebass side of me okay im crying

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: i dont actually remember? probably like last year unless you count me having tears from laughing too hard as cryng then thats yesterday during the meme aka now called lightning mcqueen server

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nahh

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: dont think ive ever kissed someone thats not my family before im #Pure

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: nope lmao

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: my grandfather i guess? but he died when i was really young so at that time i didnt really undersyand the feeling of loss and mourn so ksdjfk but we had some goodass memories together

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine but you just cant get into it because they would never understa

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: im severely underaged please

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. red

13. yellow

14. either black or lavendar,,

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yis

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: ya,,

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: okay im known as the most giggly person in class i laugh so easily that i easily have tears over everything

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: nahh dont think i wanna know if its like in a bad way :x

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: aw y e s

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: ya :,) (Thanks em, lily, mae and imogen for making this year truly greater than last year and for being the best friends i could ever ask for)

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: facebook is dead to me

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: serious facebook is dead to me i roasted above the flames of negligence (also because i have like two facebook accounts one using my pesonal email and the other using my more general email , the one using my more general email keeps recommending to me my OWN personal account and its personally so hilarious)

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a cat called lucky! (i love him even though im p sure he hates me)

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: i guess my irl name uhhh im 50-50 with it? but granted on the internet i waaay prefer using the name Rae over my irl one because its short and simple and nice-

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: just want to a chinese resturant with my fam and my uncle because we’re simple that way and like. back then i didnt had that much friends so uh l m a o (but vidhi gave me a nerf gun so that was Really Cool and i love her)

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: 9 oclocK BECAUSE A HOUSING AGENT WAS COMING OVER (but then i fell back to sleep and woke up at 12 so lmao)

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching a video on why ‘anime art isnt technically allowed in art school’ because i was just curious and then drawing 

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: VOLTRON LEGENDARY FUCKNG DEFENDERS SEASON 3 SHIT BABES IM REA LLY FUCKING PREPARED AND NEAR END OF MONTH AVCON BECAUSE EYES EMOJI

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: an hour ago lmao shes like just outside my room 

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: sighs my shyness and social anxiety and awkwardness (all three of those are counted in a pack right? the pack of “socially inept” people)

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: daydream warriors... by aquors..... (listen im RECONNECTING with my weeb side like said above im actually weeping)

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: uh idk mate

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: i havent brushed my teeth yet but im lazy to move my legs lmao

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): um quite a lot like a few small ones on my arm and like one on my face below my right eye and theres one underneath my boob i think lmao tmi and the rest i cant be bothered to find

35. MARK(S): a kind of burnt scar mark on my left shoulder from like 6/7 years ago when i got too close to someone smoking and their cigarette burnt me oh and a scar on my knee from the time i fell off my bike while playing bike catching in the neighbourhood with a couple of other friends like 4 years ago?

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: vet (now im eh about that tho im probably just going to pursue some art career)

37. HAIR COLOR: brown eyy

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: yeah. hopefully its dying down now especially since the person is straight (its hard when she sits next to you in class and you guys are sort of friends now and u somehow feel really satisfied when you make her laugh :,) shit )

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: im generally kind with people regardless of whether or not i dont like them or i dont know them well or i know them i guess? (at least in my group of friends im probably the most willing to socialise with others) and uhhhh i guess i can make people laugh? im a huge fucking loser meme nyall

41. PIERCINGS: none and personally dont really want to 

42. BLOODTYPE: shit  i think it was either a B or an O i cant remember (i think its B tho)

43. NICKNAME(S): maggie, migi, bela, bob, bobbo

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single pringle 

45. ZODIAC: virgo

46. PRONOUNS: she/her (lmao yay for repeated question)

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: fuckngin,,, voltron,,, (probably going to stay my favourite for a long while tho)

48. TATTOOS: none atm (unless you count waterbase tattos then yes stick all the water based tattos on me) but like when im Much Older maybe? just a really small tattoo tho not anything big that covers an entire limb

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right

50. SURGERY: had a surgery on my foot forgot which side when i was in kindergarten because the skin was *censored for tmi* and yah stitching up your skin fucking hurt babes

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nahhh i dont think id dye my hair tho who knows

52. SPORT: im probably going to retake up basketball again eyes emoji eyes emoji

53. VACATION: ooMMF nothing planned so far

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: like uhhh what kind of sneakers?? just normal canvas sneakers i guess????? im, what.

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: OXYGEn

56. DRINKING: IN OXYGEN

57. I’M ABOUT TO: complete this fucking 88  questions then chat on discord and scroll tumblr and tell myself “hey finish up your art!” but then 5 hours later im still scrolling tumblr. oh and im watching wonder woman later so :3c

58. WAITING FOR: nothing atm i guess?

59. WANT: my family’s financial situation to be solved and so that money isnt going to be a huge bother anymore...

60. GET MARRIED: sounds nice but probably only marriage idk the idea of kids doesnt really sound v appealing atm

61. CAREER: artist! (i wanna either work in a game development team or an animation studio eyes emoji ) 

62. HUGS OR KISSES: HUGS

63. LIPS OR EYES: lips erally nice to draw really nice to look at

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: buhhh im short so i guess taller would be nice (tall people have such nice legs too im frankly a little jealous)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: what is this in regards to

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: arms so that dO YOU SEE THESE GUNS

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: shrug emoji idk man

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: troublemaker pardnyars in crime amirite

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: no

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nope 

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yeah p sure i had to go through a whole day of school half blind once without my glasses

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: nah..

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nO IM 1 3 

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: dont think so?

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: nah babes

77. BEEN ARRESTED: nah

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: somehow when someone dies i decide to laugh instead of breaking down in tears i guess laugh away the pain?

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: ...shit its a bad idea babes dont do it

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: shrug emoji

81. MIRACLES: sometimes? sometimes no?

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: even bigger shrug emoji

83. SANTA CLAUS: nah lmao listen i caught my father and mother wheeling in bicycles for my sister and i when i was like what 8? usually i just played along because hey i was a child

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: ehh depends i guess

85. ANGELS: not really lmao

OTHER

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): Emily, Mae Shuen and Lily

87. EYECOLOR: dark brown?

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: this changes all the time

only tagging uhhh @pluminkdot (KASJD I FORGOT IF YOU HAD A MAIN REBLOG ACC IM SORRY RACH), @jaspereffect , @blabrabs / @spaceboomerang (it isnt letting me tag ur main boomers skldfjksd) and uh im too lazy for the rest

#raedy to talk shit #mattie #mothable #w e eps #this took fucking forever babes #LONG POST

[murasakiyuzu]

tagged by @realm-of-spells, thank u girl <3

10 facts about yourself

1- i have a powerful, unexplained love for noiz from dramatical murder. thats the first fact bc i was just looking through my noiz tag and making swooning noises. dont ask me why, thats something for science to answer.

2- im absolute horse shit w numbers. im serious, im not just “bad” with calculus and shit. im rly, RLY fucking stupid as hell when it comes to numbers in any situation. i cant count things under pressure, and thats not just for counting my change, i cant count AT ALL. id like to say that my bad way w numbers is proportional to how good i am when it comes to language, but im not even that good w that either

3- im lazy and extremely prone to procrastinating, but (i like to believe that) i have a rly strong sense of responsibility, so i can somehow deal w things even if it ends up being a bit unhealthy

4- i feel bad when my classmates think im someone who studies and works hard bc i rly. only ever do the bare minimum. i could probably do better if i worked harder, but i just have a lot of academic Traumas. underperforming is such a hairpin trigger for my anxiety (prolly what made me go spiraling down this semester), and i know its a lot worse if its something i worked too hard for, so i try to keep things at a safe level, where i can brush my failures off as easily as i can and move on

5- i, too, am a hufflepuff and im proud of it :3

6- im a rly hard person to deal w. idk how to keep in contact w people, i tend to isolate myself (even from people who live under the same roof as me lol) and i take so long to open myself and anyone who manages to make through my initial awkwardness is honestly a champ. in turn, everyones a hard person for me to deal w, practically LKAJSDHAKJD i feel immediately uncomfortable if a person doesnt smile around me much (i automatically decide they must hate me lmao) and i police myself a lot in fear that ill say something stupid thatll upset people. thankfully, i dont miss people all that much LOL im cool w 3 or 4 friends. 

7- i, too, am a cat person KLASDJAKJ ill die for cats

8- im rly careless w my health and its honestly a miracle im still alive and w no life-disrupting illnesses for now since i never go to the doctor lmao things will prolly look ugly for me in 5 to 10 years but if anything i dont drink or smoke so yay?

9- i got into a fair bit of fights as a kid bc of how hot blooded i was (funnily enough, i only ever got into fights w boys. only once i fought w another girl). and im an angry crier so i always ended up crying it was rly wild. im still quite hot blooded and rly cant take too much provocation before i want to punch a person in the face, but i have rly good control now lmao

10- i still cant believe ive been consistently writing a fanfic for almost 7 months and its got 128k as of now. its already surpassed the first long novel i read as a kid (harry potter and the chamber of secrets). its my second language and even when i wrote in portuguese i never got this far. how.

there u have 10 facts that may or may not have gotten a bit dark sometimes sorry lm ao

Tagging: @kagetsuoka @foolbrite @yamaguchis @satyr-syd @freak-angelic @thebingeeater

#as u all know its completely cool if u dont wanna do it KJASHDJKA #mumbling yuzu

[trickstarbrave]

i hate the take of “just stop looking at stuff you dont like online then if it upsets you!!!” 

like very obviously, in case you need me to say it: don’t run discourse blogs and don’t seek out things that upset you to be mad about it. it’s bad for your mental health. just stop looking for it. stop commenting on it and engaging with it. block people. get blacklist extensions. if you want to say smth abt it say smth abt it on ur own time (like i am right now) 

but also even if you block people, even if you get blacklists, even if you download extensions, even if you block triggering content, the internet is not designed how it was in the past. its all on big name social media platforms that make their money via engagement. they make money shoving as much content as possible in the users’ faces. if anything might get a rise out of you and lead to engagement, good or bad, they have a vested interest in showing it to you. except tumblr which runs on pure incompetence at this point. 

i have a bunch of extensions. if i see someone i dislike so much bc their takes piss me off so much i do not just block them on twitter, i have an extension that blocks every single person that follows them. not because i’m inherently making a moral judgement about every single person that follows one user, but bc that’s how dedicated i am to avoid it. i filter triggers and things that range from things that will send me spiraling to things i just find fucking annoying. i have extensions to do this for basically any major website i use with any semblance of regularity. 

and yknow what? ive had to just stop engaging with fandom as a whole. when i complained about untagged age gap stuff in my favorite character’s tag years ago i got sent irl gore along w my friend of mine who was publicly agreeing with me. i just don’t go into most large fandom tags. i see fandom content sporadically. i very rarely go looking up most kinds of fics. i very rarely do anything new, look up new art, look up new fics. i no longer enjoy my time there. fandom has become something i actively resent, when it’s supposed to be about shared love of a media. there have always been shit heads, but this goes beyond a few assholes you can block and ignore. i shouldn’t have to block all 2500 of someone’s followers with a janky extension designed to block alt right speakers who sick their followers on others to harass them bc i kept getting dogpiled with insults, triggering media, and sometimes slurs the moment i interacted with them w/o knowing their shitty ship opinions. i shouldn’t have to avoid engaging with the fandom at all. i shouldn’t be afraid to look at new art and stories without being blindsided by triggering content left untagged (usually in art but you would be AMAZED by the fics). 

i do not seek it out. i do everything in my power to avoid it. and you know how that looks? that looks like barely engaging online with anything i like unless the fandom is fucking dead, because if i do it’s actively destructive for my mental health. it looks like me having fun ideas for art and stories and talking about them with my friends and never following through because i don’t want to deal with more dogpiling and nonsense and triggering content. it looks like me losing all my steam for fics and leaving so many unfinished because the fandom behavior makes me actively hate my own work, and i’m tired of getting shitty comments on my stuff that undermines what i’m even trying to do and what i like about it. 

“don’t look at things you don’t like and stop complaining about it!!!” really just looks like “get out of every fandom space then already” and it’s getting annoying. maybe stop bragging about how much YOU personally tag stuff (spoilers most of you bragging about it only tag on ao3 at most, though most websites also don’t make tagging easy at all, but at that point you should just admit the websites are shitty and it isn’t the fault of other ppl finding it either if its also not yours) and start telling your followers not to dogpile, and start looking around at other creators making things like you do that can be triggering or harmful and asking them to give warnings and tag it.  

[october3]

Get to know me tag

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88 AND TAG SOME PEOPLE i was tagged my @misgivings and i am tagging whoever the hec wants to do it!

BASICS: a. NAME AND PRONOUNS: (? Currently) and they them b. AGE (and birthday!): 15, 10/3/01 c. SEXUALITY: bisexual d. GENDER: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ e. COUNTRY: USA f. FAVORITE AESTHETIC: I dunno dude thats really broad g. TRIGGERS/MENTAL ILLNESSES: my triggers are just like yelling and slamming i guess. Also curse words but only like hearing them (so typed curses r fine) THE LAST: 1. DRINK: Coffee 2. PHONE CALL: My friend athan i believe 3. TEXT MESSAGE: “its ok as long as youre safe??” 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: i found by amber run 5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: Fuckin yesterday HAVE YOU: 6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: Yeah 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: yeAh 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: Yeahhh 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yes 10. BEEN DEPRESSED: Yes 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: Yes TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS 12. Dark red 13. Dark blue 14. Dusty pink IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: Loads :) 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: sure have 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Yes 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: yep yep yel 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: Quite a few yea :) 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: yeah GENERAL 22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: All bc i dont accept people idk 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a cat!! 24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: so bad 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: uhh opened a few gifts and had some sicc cheesecake 26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: 7am 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: Tumblr and talking to my friend Christopher 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: My paycheck 29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: September 2015 30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: be able to travel or live closer to interweb friends 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: 90210 by blackbear 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: MY BEST FRUEND IS NAMED TOM ILY TOM 33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: people only befriending me for potential relationship LOST QUESTIONS 34. MOLE(S): cheek, back, and under my right boob 35. MARK(S): Uhh self harm scars& acne scars 36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: I was rly obsessed with like those futuristic movies and i rly wanted to be like an assassin or some shit 37. HAIR COLOR: Dirty blond hopefully dying it soon 38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: Just past my jaw 39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: next question 40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I’m pretty cute and I’m very passionate 41. PIERCINGS: Ive had a nose piercing, industrial bar, earlobes amd belly button but i dont have any of those now 42. BLOODTYPE: No clue 43. NICKNAME(S): pat(s), kinkerbell 44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: ?????? 45. ZODIAC: Libra 46. PRONOUNS: they them 47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: Shadowhunters& friends 48. TATTOOS: none yet 49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: Right 50. SURGERY: None 51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: Ive done hair chalk but nothing really 52. SPORT: I dont sports but I’m amazing at hockey 53. VACATION: Sadly i dint travel much 54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: Vans ? MORE GENERAL 55. EATING: nothing at the moment 56. DRINKING: Nothing at the moment 57. I’M ABOUT TO: Well hopefully stay up for a bit 58. WAITING FOR: frjiend to text back 59. WANT: New vans and to dye my hair 60. GET MARRIED: Idk if its for me 61. CAREER: Either wanna go into psychology or music 62. HUGS OR KISSES: hugs generally 63. LIPS OR EYES: Lips!!!!! 64. SHORTER OR TALLER: Taller bc i like being the little spoon 65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: older loll 66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: uhhh stomach 67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: Sensitive bc loud makes me :/ 68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship 69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: Troublemaker HAVE YOUR EVER: 70. KISSED A STRANGER: No 71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: Yes 72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: Don’t need either 73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: Yes 74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: No 75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Yes 76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: Yes 77. BEEN ARRESTED: Yes and no 78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: Yes 79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: Yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 80. YOURSELF: Not rly tbh 81. MIRACLES: No 82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: I actually don’t know 83. SANTA CLAUS: nah 84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: Sure 85. ANGELS: Yess 86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): Max, tom, Christopher tbh OTHER 87. EYECOLOR: Hazel 88. FAVORITE MOVIE: Hugo, titanic, gatsby. I’m a slut for early 1900s

#ahhhh #finally #about me

[priscillaravenclaw]

70 questions game! tagged by @wheeinthighs thanks cutie!!  💖

i tag @doomtotheuniverse, @anothercallowaysister

1: DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS? yes, more or less. i do love them dearly

2: WHO DID YOU LAST SAY “I LOVE YOU” TO? man i don’t remember. probably a family member

3: DO YOU REGRET ANYTHING? mmh yeah. i honestly wish i could erase the memories some ppl have of me because i opened up too easily

4: ARE YOU INSECURE? yes.

5: WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS? gnrfifniwnjcjnk why you gotta come for me like that. single

6: HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE? the thought of death kind of triggers something bad in my brain so i wont answer this one

7: WHAT DID YOU LAST EAT? plum sorbet.

8: PLAYED ANY SPORTS? no. i hate sports and i hate the fact that i have 3 hours of p.e. class every goddamn week

9: DO YOU BITE YOUR NAILS? not anymore.

10: WHEN WAS YOUR LAST PHYSICAL FIGHT? i have never really fought… i just try to w my classmates sometimes when im drunk

11: DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE? no.

12: HAVE YOU EVER STAYED UP 48 HOURS? not that i remember.

13: DO YOU HATE ANYONE AT THE MOMENT? no, but some ppl do get on my nerves.

14: DO YOU MISS SOMEONE? no, at least not really. just when i remember the good ol’ days

15: HAVE ANY PETS? yes!! two cats, felix and salem

16: HOW EXACTLY ARE YOU FEELING AT THE MOMENT? im tired, lonely and kinda annoyed but i dont know why gnfnpiwbgb

17: EVER MADE OUT IN THE BATHROOM? no :(

18: ARE YOU SCARED OF SPIDERS? no!! im usually the one who takes care of them when my arachnophobic friend spots one

19: WOULD YOU GO BACK IN TIME IF YOU WERE GIVEN THE CHANCE? no. i know i dont have the power to change anything 

20: WHERE WAS THE LAST PLACE YOU SNOGGED SOMEONE? i dont know what this means what

21: WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THIS WEEKEND? i’ll work a bit and then i’ll go out to celebrate my sisters bday w my family!! also i have to watch lion and prepare myself mentally to face the long ass oscars night

22: DO YOU WANT TO HAVE KIDS? yes, a few. idk why

23: DO YOU HAVE PIERCINGS? a tragus and a helix

24: WHAT IS/ARE/WERE YOUR BEST SUBJECT(S)? english and italian.

25: DO YOU MISS ANYONE FROM YOUR PAST? kinda. my grandma and my childhood bestfriend 

26: WHAT ARE YOU CRAVING RIGHT NOW? affection ((i need a gf))

27: HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? idk??

28: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CHEATED ON? nope

29: HAVE YOU MADE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND CRY? nope

30: WHATS IRRITATING YOU RIGHT NOW? i honestly dont know…. i just know im irritated

31: DOES SOMEBODY LOVE YOU? i hope so lmao

32: WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOR? purple, any shade of it. baby blue and pastel pink too

33: DO YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES? yes.

34: WHO/WHAT WAS YOUR LAST DREAM ABOUT? i dont remember exactly but i know for sure it was some weird shit bc when i sleep on the bus i usually make some odd ass dreams

35: WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU CRIED IN FRONT OF? my sister when we where watching goblin gnjngjjbfwhrfwfb

36: DO YOU GIVE OUT SECOND CHANCES TOO EASILY? yes. i need to stop doing that.

37: IS IT EASIER TO FORGIVE OR FORGET? forgive for sure.

38: IS THIS YEAR THE BEST YEAR OF YOUR LIFE? idk yet!! we’ll see

39: HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU HAD YOUR FIRST KISS? 17

40: HAVE YOU EVER WALKED OUTSIDE COMPLETELY NAKED? no id die

51: FAVOURITE FOOD? spaghetti with clams!! i lov them. also my grandmas chicken wings and my grandpas pork ribs

52: DO YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON? mmh no not really

53: WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU DID BEFORE YOU WENT TO BED LAST NIGHT? i watched some youtube videos… probably of red velvet

54: IS CHEATING EVER OKAY? no.

55: ARE YOU MEAN? i surely hope im not

56: HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU FIST FOUGHT? 0 lmao

57: DO YOU BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE? maybe? idk ive never been in love and ive never met someone who has found their true love

58: FAVOURITE WEATHER? when it storms. thats my shit. or when its sunny but not too hot, and i can lay on the grass feeling all warm and fuzzy

59: DO YOU LIKE THE SNOW? only when im home and i can look at it through the window. OR during snowball fights

60: DO YOU WANNA GET MARRIED? uhm i think eventually. if i find someone i really want to spend the rest of my life with.

61: IS IT CUTE WHEN A BOY/GIRL CALLS YOU BABY? if i like them (even as friends) yes i melt immediately. otherwise i find it creepy

62: WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? learning and understanding new stuff, girls, nice ass books, tv shows & movies. basically anything w a good storyline. being appreciated!!

63: WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME? no

64: WOULD IT BE HARD TO KISS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED? not if i were drunk gnjfjwfblw. but if id do it when im sober then yes, very.

65: YOUR BEST FRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX LIKES YOU, WHAT DO YOU DO? bitch i run. i dunno how to handle these kind of situations.

66: DO YOU HAVE A FRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX WHO YOU CAN ACT YOUR COMPLETE SELF AROUND? mh kinda. he doesn’t approve of some things i do but who cares gnjfnrcnjd im old enough to drink and not regret it.

67: WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX YOU TALKED TO? my friend

68: WHO’S THE LAST PERSON YOU HAD A DEEP CONVERSATION WITH? i THINK one of my classmates. but since we were talking abt him idk if it counts. last time i confessed deep stuff abt myself was w a friend.

69: DO YOU BELIEVE IN SOULMATES? i believe in all kinds of soulmates

70: IS THERE ANYONE YOU WOULD DIE FOR? the people i love.

#things i'm tagged in #sorry this is so late gndndjb