#loving to survive

[femsolid]

“We have asked students in our classes to describe characteristics of people whom they’ve heard called “man-haters” and “woman-haters”. A man hater is a woman who speaks her own mind, a feminist, or a lesbian: in other words, a woman who has her own voice and doesn’t put men first is a man-hater. By contrast, students are unable to recall any situations in which they have heard someone being called a woman-hater. We ask, “Are rapists and wife batterers woman-haters?” They answer, “Just because a man rapes or batters women doesn’t mean he hates women.” The differential definitions ascribed to terms that should have equivalent meanings suggest an enormous collective need both to deny male hatred of women and to derogate independent female action (which might be used to expose expressions of that male hatred).”

- Loving To Survive by Dee L. R. Graham

#quote #loving to survive #mp #mra

[hippodamoi]

Loving to Survive, Dee L. R. Graham.

#loving to survive #quotations

[woman-for-women]

“We have asked students in our classes to describe characteristics of people whom they’ve heard called “man-haters” and “woman-haters”. A man hater is a woman who speaks her own mind, a feminist, or a lesbian: in other words, a woman who has her own voice and doesn’t put men first is a man-hater. By contrast, students are unable to recall any situations in which they have heard someone being called a woman-hater. We ask, “Are rapists and wife batterers woman-haters?” They answer, “Just because a man rapes or batters women doesn’t mean he hates women.” The differential definitions ascribed to terms that should have equivalent meanings suggest an enormous collective need both to deny male hatred of women and to derogate independent female action (which might be used to expose expressions of that male hatred).” - Dee L. R. Graham in Loving to Survive

#w4w post #quotes #feminism #feminist #loving to survive #dee graham

[balkanradfem]

what are some good resources for someone just getting into being a radfem?

Here's a link to the radfem reading list! Link

I personally would recommend:

'Who Cooked the Last Supper' PDF link

'Invisible Women' PDF link

'The Second Shift' PDF link

'Loving to Survive' PDF link

I also recommend all the works from Andrea Dworkin but those go very deep into the violence and trauma, the ones I listed are very good entry points that deal with statistics and data!

#resources #radfem reading list #radfem literature #radical feminism #who cooked the last supper #invisible women #the second shift #loving to survive

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

#imagine you're a boy who's going to die. you're in love with the girl you've been watching from afar. you know your fate. #you just want to help her‚ but then there's the announcement and she's here in front of you‚ kissing you‚ risking her life for you and you #think‚ i could live and i could love. you think she loves you when she hands you the berries‚ when she puts them in her mouth. #then you both survive and you go back home and nothing is real anymore. you have nothing. no family. no friends. no love. just an empty #house. a drunk for a neighbor. the love of your life walking into somebody else's arms. you think‚ i survived the games. i could survive #this. and you also think‚ i should've bit down on those berries‚ should've felt the juice burst before i died. #and then the third quarter quell announcement rings in your ears and you think‚ she will live and i will die as i should have in the first #place. the girl you love kisses you on the beach and somewhere you heart stirs and your mind revolts and you savor every touch she has ever #given to you‚ in front of the cameras and off. because you are a tribute and you are always being watched and snow's presence looms and #you think‚ i know she cares. but you get taken. you get drugged. you get tortured‚ your mind altered. the girl is a mutt‚ a murderer. she's #everything you despise‚ your mind stirs. your heart revolts. you gain more awareness but cannot distinguish reality from fiction and you #have never known katniss' love. the war ends. you heal. you come home. you plant primrose for her. years down the line‚ you grow in love #more than you thought possible. but some days‚ you cannot tell fiction from reality so you ask the love of your life‚ you love me. #real or not real? and she says‚ real‚ and kisses you. #and you sigh and kiss her back and revel in this. a home. a life. a love. #lit #the hunger games #everlark #otp: real or not real? #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #text #tais toi lys #thgpost

[stil-lindigo]

the fox god.

a comic about a trickster.

--

creative notes:

–

all my other comics

store

#cw: emotional abuse #cw: gaslighting #cw: animal death #charity - a god whose name was only ever meant to be ironic #i love playing with the concept of religion like this #im not religious at all but i did go to a christian school for twelve years #and i remember learning about the story of abraham. who long story short gets told by god to kill his son to prove his love for god. #and at the veeeery last minute god goes sike! this was a test to see if you'd do it! here's a lamb to slaughter instead #but the whole concept of that exchange in and of itself is so #anyway #one thing i meant to include in the creative notes but i ran out of room for is that charity never calls cunning by his name. #it's just “fox”. which was a small touch to indicate that he never acknowledged cunning's identity outside of being something exploitable. #but for all charity's hidden disdain for cunning #he still stole all his strengths and coveted them. he became known as the fox god. #so maybe some part of cunning survived. despite everything. #“give me your heart.” #“my god. it had always been yours.” #comic art #hearteaters #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics #one more comic to go until im finished with this collection!!

[freneticphoneticfanatic]

Re:my last reblog… reading Loving to Survive was legit a permanently, radically life-altering experience. It changed my perspective on my interactions with men. All men. Even such seemingly small interactions as the ones I have with customers. It made me realize what I thought of as politeness or sweetness in my behavior was often deference. It’s also the book that made me start to question the way my family treated me and how I saw them. It’s an intense read. If you’re a woman and you read it you will grieve. But it’s also freeing. It shows you it doesn’t have to be like this. You can’t change men but you can change your life. This book is a big part of why I am attempting to practice separatism in my adult life.

#mine #feminism #loving to survive #societal Stockholm syndrome #misogyny #booklr #bookblr

[muguetdemai]

Caitlyn Siehl, What We Buried; from "A Letter To Love"

#caitlyn siehl #poetry #what we buried #a letter to love #words #a grief i thought i would not survive #undoing you from my blood

[qiinamii]

tiredge

#qiiarts #xiao #lumine #traveler #paimon #kazuha #zhongli #zhongli's been carrying every team comp i have to survive since day 1 he's also my first limited 5* literally on my first day playing #my emotional attachment to him is absurd and yet i have him at c0 for 2 yrs #love your peepaws dearly okay

[pinkgibbon]

anton chigurh goes to stardew valley

#every1 in the notes asking me why I made this 🙄 art isn’t about why! it’s about why not! why don’t you marry safe art if you love it so much #i got a better shirt for him eventually but i dont have a pic of it #roleplaying as him was the only way i was finally able to bring myself to do joja route #no country for old men #stardew valley #i like to think of him as being magically stuck there for an indeterminate amount of time and trying to survive w/o murdering the whole tow #anton chigurh #marnie stardew valley #i better not see ANY marnie slander!!! #how do u tag them #stardew valley marnie #sdv marnie #morris stardew valley #sdv morris #stardew valley morris #i was not gonna romance anyone obviously but i really enjoyed drawing that pic of him w morris so i got the marry morris mod and it is so #goddamn funny. just the idea of. anton chigurh x morris. me and friends r having the time of our life with it. i even made fanart. #which i may post later if i feel like it #my art #fanart #ncfom

[lazylittledragon]

i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD

#ramble #also only 0.29 delivery instead of 3.99 #and chilli cheese bites #i swear to god the best food you'll ever eat while drunk is from the tiny shithole that's open until 4am #if you're refusing to do literally the smallest thing you can do to help then i have questions #it's FOOD. you'll survive #it's not even NECESSARY food #if it was like a chain grocery place and you don't have access to anything else then i would understand #but it's just NOT #make your own coffee for the love of god #when there is NOTHING you can do to stop this fucking tragedy. and let's be honest there isn't a lot normal people can do #and people say to you 'do this insignificant thing just to show that you even CARE' #and you DON'T do that???? what is actually wrong with you #also i've been worried about this since my last post about sbucks but this is Not an attack on the people who WORK at the boycotted places #because it is an absolute privilege to be able to leave your job and immediately find a new one

[femsolid]

"Students in our “Psychology of Women'' classes have routinely argued that the act of a man opening a door for a woman has nothing to do with sexism. It is simply one person being polite to another. If they are right, then men should feel complimented when women (and men) open doors for them. To test their presumption, we ask the women in the class to open doors for men and the men to wait at doors until a woman opens the door for them. We also ask them to record the responses they receive. (We invite readers to do the same.) The women learn that there is a sizable minority of men that refuses to go through a door held open for them by a woman, becoming irate if the women insist on “just being polite.” The men report that women will open the door for them, but that the women frequently give them disapproving looks or say unkind things “under their breath” to them. These class observations are somewhat similar to the findings of Ventimiglia (1982): the most confusion by male recipients of door-opening by females, and the most disapproval and avoidance by male recipients of door-opening by other males. 

Social norms are often invisible to us until we violate them. And social norms regarding what is considered polite depend on the sex of the individual, which suggests there is more going on here than people “just being polite.” What could it be? We then ask students to look for underlying themes regarding what is considered polite for each gender. Do the behaviors considered polite for men have anything in common? Do the behaviors considered polite for women? 

Social norms of politeness for women require women to wait for men, the actors. We are forced to conclude, then, that social norms regarding politeness in males and females are not just about being polite: they operate to maintain sex roles that champion action in males and passivity in females. One has to question the psychological healthiness of social norms that oblige women to be passive if they are to be perceived as polite. Pitting action against politeness affords women no real, or healthy, choices about how to behave.

It is not a cultural accident that the personality traits associated with a male’s performance in rituals between the sexes are precisely those traits which this culture values the most and considers socially desirable and mentally healthy activity: efficacy, authority, prowess, independence. Nor is it a cultural accident that the personality traits associated with the female’s performance are exactly those that our culture writes off as immature and childlike: passivity, dependence, weakness, frailty, ineptitude. The effect of chivalry, then, is to reinforce sex roles, a system geared to the creation of dominant males and submissive females. 

Though it is apparently ironic, the man who insists on opening doors for a woman often is the same man who argues that a woman should not be considered for a high-level job and that women should make less money than men. Similarly, it is entirely likely that the man who marries his wife to protect her from harm is the same man who beats her. Ted Bundy, a mass murderer of women, walked women to their cars at night to protect them from violent males. This behavior made it difficult for his friend, Ann Rule (1980), to believe he could have committed atrocities against women. Acts of protectiveness appear inconsistent with acts of violence. However, there is another way to look at this behavior: male protectiveness embodies an admission by men of men’s malevolence toward women.

These kindnesses wrap in a chivalric cloak the misogynistic core of our culture, disguising the actual situation of women. If men’s kindnesses toward women were really only kindnesses, a man would be pleased if another man or woman offered these kindnesses to him. He would be pleased if another man or woman lit his cigarette or pulled out his chair for him. He would be pleased to derive his income, prestige, power and even his identity from his partner. He would take pride in another man’s or woman’s offer to walk him to his car at night. But in fact, “one of the very nasty things that can happen to a man is his being treated or seen as a woman, or womanlike” (Frye 1983, p. 136).”

- Loving To Survive by Dee L. R. Graham

#quote #loving to survive #chivalry #gender

[hippodamoi]

"We regard the effects of men’s violence against women as crucial in understanding women’s current psychology. Men’s violence creates ever-present—and therefore often unrecognized— terror in women. For instance, this terror is experienced as a fear, by any woman, of rape by any man or as a fear of making a man—any man—angry.

We propose that women’s current psychology is actually a psychology of women under conditions of captivity—that is,under conditions of terror caused by male violence against women. (In fact, the conditions of women are conditions of slavery. ) We also propose that no one has any idea what women’s psychology under conditions of safety and freedom would be like.

We propose that a psychology of women under conditions of captivity (and slavery) is no more “natural” for or intrinsic to women, in a genetic or biological sense, than a psychology of wild animals in captivity is natural for them."

- Loving to Survive, Dee L. R. Graham.

#loving to survive #quotations

[woman-for-women]

#dee graham #loving to survive #w4w post #quotes #feminism #feminist

[uncanny-tranny]

If there is only one thing I would want to tell all trans people, it is this:

Please make it. You are worth it to see a better future; we will make this world kind. You are so needed, you are so wanted. We will make this world somewhere worth our light. I hope you can be by my side forever, I hope we can bask in the beauty of this world. I love you, trans person reading this.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #i understand if it's hard to survive; there will never be judgement for you if it is hard #i just hope you can be here. i hope you can directly witness a better world #i love all of you trans people (platonically but still filled with love and care) #you are worth the effort it takes to make this world better

[pien-art]

So in love with this chalk drawing i saw at the train station 😭 I want to be this happy. creacher….

#every time i walked by it this week i just smiled sm #i love it #i hope it survives today’s rain #art