Using a public restroom is like peeing in foreign lands, a full adventure that I don’t want to be on. This could be me but I’m shy:
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When you drop the spaghetti
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Someone: “what are you doing?”
Me: *sitting on a throne of lemons* “when life gives you lemons, ask for more lemons, I have become the lemon king, I sit upon my throne of lemons drinking lemonade poured by my lemon maid and trade lemon sweets for more lemons to add to my throne of lemon sour”
Someone: “what the hell?”
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Someone: “ew tastes like toothpaste”
Me: *trying to be snarky* “how do you know what toothpaste tastes like?”
Someone: “you serious?”
Me: *realizes my mistake* “umm yes”
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