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#lucien isn’t some villain
lorcandidlucienwill · 4 months
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Tamlin's villain origin story part 8
Feyre makes a last-ditch attempt to muster up allies against Tam Tam and company!
Feyre’s POV Feyre got dressed up in preparation for a meeting with Thesan, the High Lord of Dawn. Given that the solar courts generally got along well enough, and Day was already accounted for, Thesan was their best bet.
She would be going alone this time, owing to the fact that Cassian and Azriel were both occupied. There was trouble in the Illyrian camps; they were going crazy, claiming females had just sprouted wings out of nowhere and were attacking them with faebane dart guns. It all sounded crazy to Feyre, but Devlon was dead, so it was obviously serious. Mor was in Vallahan, desperately trying to secure an alliance for the Night Court, and Amren was with Varian, trying to convince other members of Tarquin's court to ally with them against their High Lord's bidding.
She had worn a gold and red dress to match the Dawn court sky. As she winnowed into Dawn, she again admired the gentle glow of the place. She smiled at the guards at the door as they let her into golden palace of Thesan.
Thesan smiled at Feyre easily. “Feyre Cursebreaker.”
She hadn’t heard that nickname in a while. “Thesan.” She smiled at him. The most welcome reception she had received so far.
“Shall we?” Thesan waved to a servant, who came back with a pleasant-smelling drink. “It’s saffron tea,” Thesan said. “Go on. Try it.”
Feyre assented, taking a sip. It was incredible. She moaned without thinking and finished the entire thing within a few minutes. Thesan appraised her, amused. Feyre blushed.
“Sorry,” Feyre muttered.
Thesan just smiled. “If you enjoy it so much, you ought to take some back with you to Velaris.” Feyre giggled. “Maybe I will.”
It took her several moments for her to register the words Thesan had said.
Velaris. Velaris.
Thesan knew.
Feyre stood up, opening her mouth to say Cauldron knew what when somebody grabbed her arm and pulled her against a hard body. Within seconds, a knife was at her throat.
“Hello, Feyre,” Tamlin purred. Feyre tried to winnow out of his reach but found her magic had abandoned her.
“Oh, that tea was laced with faebane, sweetheart,” Thesan said. “You should probably watch what you drink." From the shadows, Tarquin, Helion, and Elain all appeared. Four High Lords in one room with her sister. “If you’re wondering where the others are,” Tamlin whispered low in her ear like a lover, “they’re with your little friends. Nesta and the Illyrian females, armed with the Cauldron, were enough to handle your dogs. He smiled against her ear. “Lucien went after Mor, Eris after Amren. The Court of Nightmares has thrown a rebellion and wrecked your army.”
Feyre’s face drained of color. Tamlin sighed. “I was wondering what I did that was so bad that you would ditch me for the Night Court of all the courts. I finally realized- nothing. You became Rhysand’s creature. You became everything you fought against. You got countless innocent people killed. You stole and whored and murdered and felt no regrets. You glorified in it, in oppressing others. You abused Lucien’s friendship and made excuses for it. Breaking Ianthe’s arm didn’t erase everything you did to him. I was most astonished by the fact that you didn’t even seem to care. You blocked out anyone who tried to tell you you’re wrong. And that’s when I realized- the girl I fell in love with died under the Mountain. And the male you fell in love with died the moment I realized that.”
Feyre couldn’t move an inch, each word from Tamlin sinking into her very bones.
“Revenge isn’t my typical style,” Tamlin continued. “But somebody had to teach you a lesson. And who better than the one you humiliated the most?”
No no no no-
“Checkmate, Feyre darling,” Tamlin crooned mockingly. A mockery, an insult of what Rhysand had called her. Every last fucking detail, he had recalled. His observation was even better than she had expected.
Feyre couldn’t do anything but stand there; she lost track of time as hands shackled her in magic shackles, as they shoved her into a prison cell, as a part of her registered Azriel, Cassian, Amren, and Mor in separate cells. Tamlin had won. And he had done it without killing any of them. Rhysand had idiotically sacrificed himself, and the rest of them were now in chains.
“Don’t worry; the Night Court will be in safe hands. It’s going to be led by Lucien’s friend Nuan in tandem with the leader of the Illyrian rebels, Emerie.” It was Elain who fed her the words. “You’re probably wondering how we knew where your friends would be. That would be because of Nuala and Cerridwen. They’re my friends, you see. Their loyalty was to me, not you.” Elain looked down at her with pity on her face but did not attempt to support her, defend her, or break her out. Perhaps that was because she had chosen Lucien after all.
A part of her couldn’t help but think death would’ve been better than this humiliation. Feyre leaned against the wall of her jail cell and stared at nothing. The end! Hope you enjoyed reading about evil Tam Tam as much as I enjoyed writing about him! I really feel like it would be more savage and in character for Tamlin to let them live and force them to live with their humiliation. The revenge story we all needed!
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acourtofthought · 4 months
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Do you think Elain would actually try to get back to her human self somehow? I saw a lot of people think that she’d be in cahoots with Koschei because she wants to be turned back. I think the “I don’t want a mate/male” quote and Feyre thinking she wants a human man thing is in ACOFAS, so since then things have changed. She seems more accepting of the fact that she is fae, she just hasn’t accepted Lucien yet. These ideas mostly come from the evil Elain theories which I really don’t like anyway 🙄 but if Elain and Lucien are connected to Koschei I hope her trying to go back to humanity isn’t her main plot line. I hope she’d be over that by now
Elain did say "I don't want a mate / male" but then turned around and developed a crush or flirtation with a male shortly after which suggests progress.
SJM isn't the kind of writer to wave a magic wand and make these characters traumas disappear so Elain saying she didn't want any of the above after the war, after losing her father, after Graysen's rejection, etc. are not surprising.
She was thrust out of a world she loved and into one where she was turned into a being she grew up fearing, suddenly finding herself kicking beats and stabbing kings in battle. I think it's normal that she was trying to distance herself from extremely fae things like mating bonds and relationships with non humans when she really hadn't had times to come to terms with the fact that she is now fae and living in a place that is so unlike what she was used to.
However it's been over a year since the war. Nearly two years since she was turned. Elain may not be ready to fully embrace being fae (as Nesta wasn't ready until the end of her book) but that doesn't necessarily mean she wants to go back to a life where she knows people turned their backs on her.
Also, I can't recall a single SJM main character hero / heroine who has tried to work with the bad guy for selfish reasons and not ended up looking like the villain.
(spoilers for TOG to follow)
In the ACOTAR series we have Rhys looking like the bad guy because he was working for Amarantha. But....he ended up the hero because he was actually protecting his entire court and trying to find a way to free Prythian.
In TOG, we had Dorian seeming to work with Maeve. But in the end, he had only been playing her, finding how her powers worked so he could use them against her.
The above are two scenarios where a main character looked like they were working for the big bad only for us to discover they were using their intelligence to turn the tides in their favor.
But.........
In ACOMAF, we have Tamlin playing double agent to Hybern. Even though he was gathering information that did benefit them in the war, his main reason for allying with Hybern was to get Feyre back.
As a result, SJM made his character one that now "sucks" (her words from an actual interview with Eva Cheng).
Tamlin may get some sort of redemption but my guess is he's never getting his own book. With his journey, the author has told us that when a character tries to play double agent for selfish reasons it's not going to leave them looking like the hero, even if they were also trying to gather information on the side.
So Elain trying to ally with Koschei to be turned human again? HOW does that end up with her as a heroine?
First, it means she's willing to put others at risk for her own selfish desires, that is not FMC energy. Elain has had visions of Koschei, she knows he's kidnapped other females. Who would ever root for her knowing that she was willing to work with someone like him after that?
Also, Elain seeking him out then needing rescuing....isn't that just proving that she shouldn't have tried handling anything dangerous like Az believed? That she was a "little girl" trying to play in a "grown mans" world and failing? That Nesta was right telling her not to get involved with the Trove?
The only way the Elain / Koschei theory would work for SJMs kind of writing is if everyone thought Elain was working with Koschei for her own reasons but it's revealed she never wanted to be human after all. That she set out to prove she could best him with her intelligence and came out victorious (as Dorian did with Maeve or Rhys with Amarantha).
I am with you, there are so many more things that SJM could do with Elain's character than having her regress back to 2 years ago. We've already witnessed her at her lowest where she struggled with becoming fae and losing her life in the human lands. She's not 100% and I don't think she's thriving like she could be elsewhere but she has now made a few friends, keeps busy around Velaris helping others, developed her first "crush" on a fae male and now has a nephew to love. SJM would have wasted multiple books of Elain working through the worst of it and coming out on the other side to turn around and have her willing to put others at risk to become human again.
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sharpen-your-blade · 10 months
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U know..the other day i was watching a yt video about ACOTAR/SJM-verse theories and one was saying 'Eris knew Mor was gay that's why he put a nail into her & dropped her in Velaris so that he would not embarrass his family by braking the engagement & set Mor free' & i was like...this actually might happen given SJM's track record of 'men abusing women for their own good'... ( this video also had some interesting theories ab Elain but again, given SJM's track record idt they will happen)
i wanna answer this because it’s been on my mind lately!
i’m ngl, i’m extremely worried for what sjm is going to do with the whole eris & mor debacle. we know that she’s teased there’s more to the story than we think, and that eris may be more innocent or at least less involved than he seems, but it’s alarming because, no matter what route she takes, it’s almost guaranteed mor’s character and trauma will be diminished and reframed for the sake of redeeming eris’s.
is she going to say that mor lied (🫤) about or twisted the details of the story, and in her retelling painted eris as the bad guy? if this is admitted, be it by mor or eris (hell or even rhysand probably because that mf seems to know everything about everyone somehow) then it’s super weird because not only is mor’s whole thing truthfulness or wtv but also because...a woman lying about her abuse? not the best look, sjm, especially considering you and many others champion your series as one that discusses themes of abuse towards both men and women and uplifts those abuse survivors. and it’s even weirder because it would become a theme of sjm’s—feyre lied about her abuse to tamlin and lucien when she let them believe rhys rāped her, and now we would have mor also be a woman who let others think the worst of a man just to allow him redemption after being shitty. this revelation would add to eris’s character whilst simultaneously reducing mor’s. reframing mor’s trauma to make eris look better is…certainly A Choice.
i detest the notion that eris played whatever part he did in mor’s abuse “for her own good”. if given a proper explanation, i can likely come to understand why he did what he did, but that isn’t justification for his treatment of mor. it doesn’t absolve him of the part he played in the autumn court, nor does it absolve him of the disgusting slut-shaming he aimed at mor in front of all the other high lords.
sjm is always so hell bent on redeeming these villainous characters instead of simply just letting them be villainous and understanding that their “morally grey” actions are an essential part of who they are as a character. eris is compelling as morally grey, he’s even compelling as a villain, but he’s not compelling as a secret good guy who hurt a woman but “for her own good!!!” and actually has a heart of gold beneath his woman-hating exterior. i’m sick and tired of seeing that characterization in men in all ya/na fantasy romance books these days.
idk what sjm was thinking when she wrote this weird ass plotline. if she wanted to make eris a hot, villainous character i’m sure she could have accomplished that without connecting him to mor’s abuse. but again, Choices were made and now we must sit back and watch as sjm jumps through hoop after hoop trying to excuse yet another abusive man.
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buckybarnesb-tch · 1 month
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I’m Desperate
If someone will please write me some smut for Milo Morbius/Lucien Crown I would be forever in your debt!
I just want a good love story for Milo from the time he was human and ill to him becoming a ‘vampire’. He is delicious, sexy, charming, and villainous and I mean, come on, he’s Matt Smith, who doesn’t love Daemon Targaryen?!
If anyone knows of any good stories please tell me or tag me, I’m DESPERATE for him!
Why isn’t there more for him (despite the movie being good or bad) he is yummy
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bookishfeylin · 1 year
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I saw someone say SJM had always planned on Feysand endgame, but that isn’t true. When she admitted to scrapping what she’d written of the second and third, she said in another interview that she had to add Rhys in earlier than she originally intended. That I remember, she didn’t specify if it was that he didn’t appear until the second or third book, but I do remember her saying he was supposed to be the villain and that she loved writing him so much, he was literally the reason she scrapped what she had planned.
I don’t know if he was the villain over Amarantha and Amarantha was just added in because she had decided to switch the endgame (which given the context of ACOTAR and all the plot holes and the fact that SJM said the first book was relatively unchanged from when she first wrote it during the editing stage, only to add some stuff in, makes more sense than Amarantha being the villain; a good example being the head on the spike having the NC’s insignia rather than Amarantha’s, but there’s obviously more that supports this) or if he was the villain after Amarantha. SJM never specified, but she made it clear he was the villain and there would’ve been a love triangle. The admission of adding Rhys in earlier and rewriting the books for him implies Feylin would’ve been endgame in the original version she wrote.
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I've seen a few people who have been in the ACOTAR fandom since the books came out or who were in the ACOTAR fandom way back when say this and even reference old newsletters about the originally written trilogy that was scrapped (@editoress and @soartfullydone I'm calling you two in here), and the fact that everyone seems to remember the same thing (and Sarah doing this exact same thing in Throne of Glass) suggests to me that this was... very real. But most of the old newsletters about this that other people linked have since been deleted, and I can't find any old interviews about this. If any of you three remember the specific interview or newsletter where Sarah said this PLEASE let me know.
But yes, Rhysand's scenes in ACOTAR are bizarre in that he isn't really... pivotal. At all. Cut him out and the plot is almost seamless. Get rid of the stars on the dresser, have Lucien rescue Feyre on Calanmai, make the attor be the one that threatens Feyre and causes Tamlin to let her go, and cut Rhysand from UTM ENTIRELY and the plot still flows perfectly fine. It truly does read like he was a last minute add in, because he just does not affect the plot at all.
And, for anyone who may or may not be hate reading my blog, I want to say that ship changes are FINE. It's FINE to change endgames and whatnot! But the minute you try to discuss a dark topic like abuse, you HAVE to write with the care such a theme deserves. The minute she decided to have Tamlin be abusive and make Rhysand the healthy endgame love interest, drastic changes needed to occur in ACOTAR, not minor interjections of Rhysand's character here and there doing morally dubious actions. But Sarah chose not to, and reading ACOTAR alone, Tamlin is by far the healthier love interest with the lack of, uh, drugging and molestation and mindrape and whatnot. Sarah superimposed a story about abuse and redflags on an already-written fantasy story that worked on fantasy morals, and the longer it goes on, the more this series falls apart because of it.
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I have something to say about hating SJM characters. Any and all SJM characters.
If you do this, it’s okay, you just don’t like the books and nothing SJM writes is going to change that for you. SJM only has two types of characters: heroes and villains. That’s it. Every character you think doesn’t fit into either box gets revealed as one or the other eventually. Trying to argue a hero is really a villain or hasn’t been redeemed or won’t ever be will always be a bad take.
Anyone relevant enough to get antis either goes full evil or gets a redemption arc: by fully turning to the side of good or sacrificing their lives in service of it. If you don’t like that, complain to a wall - that’s what she writes. Every time.
Kaltain. Manon. Chaol. Lorcan. The King of Adarlan. Papa Archeron. Jurian. Nesta. Cormac.
ACOTAR isn’t over yet. So still awaiting their redemption arcs: Tamlin. Eris. Elain. Yes, I said what I said. Elain needs to make karmic amends same as Nesta did, I don’t make the rules of story. Love her? She’s gonna suffer anyway. Hate her? She’s gonna get a beautiful HEA. Sorrows. Prayers.
Crescent City, also unfinished but I guarantee you: The Autumn King. Lidia.
(Side note, some of you are just out here completely misreading the text. Hunt, Cassian, Aedion: they’re all just straight heroes the whole time, not even morally grey. Haters to the left. Azriel and Lucien too - if you hate either of them, sorry. They’re each getting a big-ass-hero turn. Evil!Gwyn is a fantasy only fanfic can ever fulfill for you. Rhys’s antis straight up baffle me. You don’t even go here.)
If you don’t understand or accept this, then you don’t have the insight to predict the plot at all. Any theories you come up with are irrelevant. And you will always be disappointed.
SJM builds massive alliances where everyone gets over their differences and works together. Your personal pettiness will never be gratified. Being anti Nesta doesn’t make you a better friend to Feyre than the books are. Acting like Tower of Dawn is a skip track because you don’t like Chaol just makes you irrelevant to the conversation. Eris is gonna be on the side of good and Mor can’t love you back no matter how much you drag him.
If you don’t vibe with a character for whatever reason, or you just can’t “forgive them” that’s absolutely fine. Taste is personal. You do you, boo. But what is it getting you to force your hate and your revenge theories into shared fandom spaces? You’ll never get what you want from the pages of one of Sarah’s books, so… what? The comment section is going to give it to you?
You should genuinely pick up other books. Life is too short to hate read and troll.
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goldenruhn · 2 years
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It’s always interesting to see how hated Eris , and people always use the same excuse of what he did to Mor, but what he did was just leave her on the border where her family left her, after her family beat and abused her. Eris, did not abuse her, did her slut shame her? Yes, but he didn’t abuse her and for some reason everyone thinks he did? Did we read the same series? Did we read the same books? Was it cruel of him to leave her? Yes, but we also don’t know what it would have meant if he had helped her? Would helping her mean that she was now “his” and no longer welcome back to Night because Eris helping her somehow put a claim onto her? Eris is painted as some villain, some sort of horrible monster over this? We also know that he helped Lucien escape Autumn by alerting Tamlin and as far we know, didn’t participate in the murder of Jesminda. I can’t fucking wait for the whole truth to be revealed, and people also being angry at this, at Eris implying that Mor isn’t telling the whole story. I can’t fucking wait for it to all come out and see that story unfold. 
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laxmiree · 2 years
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Sunken Treasure  - Main Quest Translation (Lucien)
⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️
This post contains a detailed spoiler for an event story that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~
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Translation under the cut~
[Realistic experience]
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Sitting in the simple and modern hall, I blinked at the poster that said "Immersive Pirate Game Experience" and looked at Lucien beside me.
MC: Did Professor Lucien specially chose a date place to "turn" into a pirate with me?
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Lucien: Sounds like MC isn't too interested?
Lucien put the game brochure in his hand, pointing to the fun pirate villain pattern on the cover.
Lucien: I thought, you'd want to join me on a medieval treasure hunt.
MC: Of course I want to! I just didn't think you'd be interested in this kind of immersive game.
MC: After all, most of the time, we go to see exhibitions or movies or something.
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Lucien: It makes me a little sad when MC says that, it sounds like my dates with you haven't been anything new?
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Lucien: Looks like I need to do some reflection.
He turned his head toward me, and a hint of grievance flashed in his deep eyes. I shook my head in a hurry.
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MC: Not really, I'm just a bit surprised.
He grabbed my wildly waved hand in amusement and gently squeezed it.
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Lucien: Instead of not interested, it' s actually just a lack of suitable opportunities to try.
Lucien: It just so happens that this game company approached the Institute of Biosciences for professional consultation during the development stage
Lucien: In the process of understanding it, I found it interesting so I wanted to show it to you.
MC: Did the game company actually need to consult with the Bioscience Institute?
Lucien: Mmm. Most of the VR games on the market now are visually and auditorily realistic to a certain degree.
Lucien: But to achieve 'total immersion', you need the cooperation of neurons in the brain.
Lucien: In short, what we do is to help game companies "trick" the players.
Lucien: It makes them feel that they have really entered the medieval setting and that what they see and hear is really happening.
MC: I'm looking forward to it even more when you say that. It must be a very high-quality game for Professor Lucien to be the one who puts it through!
Just as I excitedly grabbed Lucien's arm, a staff member came beside me.
Staff Member: Professor Lucien, the game pod is ready.
Staff Member: Our game is based on a medieval pirate treasure hunt. The following are the themed modules you can choose from. Do you have a favorite?
We bowed our heads and read the brochure carefully, and a moment later, a chuckle fell to my ears.
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Lucien: Since a young lady thinks our date is nothing new, why don't we try this "creative" theme that focuses on "endless experience"?
I puffed up my cheeks when I heard his words, pretended to be angry and folded my arms.
MC: Although I totally disagree with the words of this observant gentleman...
MC: It sounds great, so let's play this~
The staff member nodded and lifted his hand to show us the direction of the game pod.
Staff Member: The effect in the game is realistic and lifelike, but it is all virtual. Please don't be too nervous and afraid. If you are not feeling well, you can give us signal in the game.
Without waiting for Lucien's response, I stood up, cleared my throat and then extended a hand to Lucien.
MC: Professor Lucien can be rest assured that I have some experience in playing games. As a "senior", I will protect you.
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Lucien seemed to freeze for a moment, then smiled faintly at me, his face embedded in the brilliant sunlight from outside the window.
He lifted his hand and clasped my palm.
Lucien: Then I'm counting on you.
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MC: Lucien, is that giant python real?
I huddled up against Lucien's back, his intricately crafted medieval clothes tickling my face.
Lucien turned around and swept me into his arms, rubbing my back soothingly.
Lucien: Before entering the game, I remember a "senior" said that she would protect me well, but it turns out that it was just bravado?
MC: …I didn't expect it to be so realistic! You didn't see it, but the python just crawled against my foot!
MC: Seriously, why is there no a wooden sign here that warns us of the dangers!
Glancing at the misty town around me, I continued to hug Lucien tightly and gradually withdrew from the grass where the snake had just passed.
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Lucien: The reason it feels so real is because the machines attached to us transmit these sophisticated data to our brains. Then it performed an act of deception that went unnoticed by the brain.
It was hard for Lucien to move because I hugged him so tightly; his usual science lecture speech was accompanied by more than a few helpless laughs.
At that moment, the grass rustled again, causing my just raised head to be buried deep into his chest once again.
Lucien compliantly tightened his arm around me and rubbed my hair as he asked.
Lucien: I'm still waiting for MC to protect me, what should I do now...
MC: I... I can do it!
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MC: But only if you hold my hand tightly and don't let go.
Lucien: Certainly.
Lucien: Even without this premise, I won’t ever let go of your hand.
Under the cold sky, several small huts stood side by side on both sides of the road.
There seems to be no one here, the place feels quiet. I can't help but be a little puzzled.
MC: Lucien, what are we going to do next?
MC: If it’s like any other normal game flow, should we go looking for clues about the treasure?
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I turned my head and found Lucien's gaze seemed to stop in one place, so I followed his line of sight-
There is a large bulletin board not far ahead, which is particularly conspicuous in the quiet town. It seems like a kind of hint.
Lucien squeezed my hand and gave me his usual lighthearted smile.
Lucien: Well, I think there may be an answer for us there.
[Old Friend]
MC: Looks like it's all about pirates.
MC: Weird, is there no reliable information about the treasure?
Lucien: And what should we do at a such time according to the experience of my "senior"?
MC: Hmmm... Then we should look for any NPCs.
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MC: Lucien look, there seems to be a person standing over there
Lucien: It’s strange that I didn't notice anyone there before.
Lucien: Anyway, let's go over there first. Maybe he will tell us useful information.
When I got closer, I realized that the NPC looked like Pete.
??: Hello! So you two have come back?
MC: Do you recognize us?
??: Did you forget about me? I am Pete.
Pete: As expected, you two really went looking for the treasure that can causes amnesia…
MC: The what…? Lucien, can you understand what he’s saying?
Lucien: I think this ‘Pete’ is not the same Pete that we know.
Lucien: Hello, do you know who we were?
Lucien: And what is it about the treasure you just said that makes people lose their memories?
Pete: The rule in this town is that if you want to inquire about something you have to pay for it.
MC: Is it meant to be a gratuity? But we don't have any money...
Pete: I heard that the owner of the blacksmith store is recruiting people to do odd jobs…
Pete: You guys can check it out and you should be able to get some pay.
[Successful intel]
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Lucien: I think these should be enough to pay for the answers we want.
Pete: Absolutely!
MC: ...I didn't expect Pete to be so money-oriented.
Pete: I used to meet you in pairs, you two were pirates who often go out to sea.
Pete: Although I'm not familiar enough to know your names, I can see that you both cherish each other.
Pete: It is said that if you return to the place where you have lost your memory, that is where the treasure is located.
Pete: -And then you can get your memory and identity back.
MC: But where's the treasure?
Pete: I'm not sure about this one. But you guys said you were going to the forest before you left.
Lucien: It seems that our next destination is clear.
Pete: By the way, there is a lack of clean water in the forest, so don't forget to bring a water bottle.
Pete: You guys go look in the store, there should be one in that place.
MC: But all the money we make goes to you...
Pete: This money has always belonged to me, the old blacksmith robbed it from me by ‘winning’ a bet. And now it just returned to its rightful owner!
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Lucien: Regardless of the veracity of your bet.
Lucien: The money is still the legal payment we get from the old blacksmith for our labor.
Pete: …Okay! You guys can take it back.
They get the water bottle by buying it in the store.
[Preparatory boarding]
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MC: There is only one boat here, and I don't know if the captain will take us to the forest.
MC: Lucien, do we have any money left to buy the ship tickets?
Lucien: All the money basically went to Pete and the merchant who sold the kettle.
MC: How about we go back to work for the blacksmith store owner?
Lucien: There's probably no need to go to all that trouble.
Lucien: Since the game setting is that we had gone together to find the treasure, it means that the only ship in the port is ours.
Lucien: I believe our ship is the one in front of us.
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Lucien: Come aboard, my little explorer.
[Set Sail]
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MC: Lucien, do you know how to steer this pirate ship?
Lucien: Although I don't know it in real life, I think the way to drive a ship in the game will be special.
MC: The boat is moving!
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Lucien: There is also a map with the location of the forest and other places marked on it.
Lucien: It seems that the "we" before the amnesia had made perfect preparations.
[Who is speaking?]
MC: Isn't this forest too big? Can we really find the treasure here?
Lucien: Rest assured, from the perspective of the game company, they must have estimated the time for players to pass the level in advance.
Lucien: So there will be an NPC or something to guide us.
Lucien: Come on, let's get off the boat first.
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Big Tree: Hello there, young passers-by.
Lucien: Hi, we'd like to inquire about something.
Big Tree: You guys are in luck, I'm an all-knowing, all-seeing tree.
MC: Really?
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Lucien: Do you know our name?
Big Tree: A name is just a moniker; there can be countless identities, and the only thing that you know is that you’re changing.
Big Tree: No matter what your name is, you will always be you
MC: There is a feeling of "listening to your speech is like listening to your words"...
It literally means that if you hear someone say something, you are really just listening to a word without getting any useful information. Its English equivalent is probably every 60 seconds in Africa one minute passed lol.
[The envy of the big tree]
Big Tree: What do you think the other person was like before amnesia?
MC: Lucien is so smart, so he must be an expert in astronomy and geography-
MC: The great scholar who has all of the knowledge!
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Lucien: For me, MC is MC.
Lucien: No matter what her previous identity was, her present self is what I like the best.
Big Tree:(-_-)
Big Tree: So what do you think your relationship is?
MC: It is the most important and irreplaceable...
Lucien: That’s my answer as well.
Big Tree: ...Okay, okay, I get it. If there is no problem, just hurry up and go.
Lucien: We have one more question, is the legendary treasure also in the forest?
Big Tree: No.
Big Tree: To find out where you'll have to prove that you're as smart as she says you are.
Big Tree: If you can find the thorn fruit, I will tell you a clue to the treasure.
[Thorn fruit?]
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MC: Wow what a cute kitty!
Lucien: She seems to be glowing and doesn't look like an ordinary kitty.
MC: She's an elf!
MC: Excuse me, can I have a moment of your time?
Elf: Can you?
MC: Huh? You're asking me?
Elf: What do you think?
MC: …Lucien, it's better for you to be the one who communicates.
Lucien: Hello, can you tell us where we can find the thorn fruit?
Elf: All right, handsome guy.
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MC: ....
Elf: I happen to have thorn fruit, if you are willing to exchange 5 fabrics with me, I will give it to you.
MC: Excuse me, we have 5 fabrics, can we still trade with the fruit now?
Elf: Can you?
MC: …Lucien, it's better for you to do the communication.
Lucien: Hello, there are 5 fabrics for you, can you give us the thorn fruit?
Elf: Hee hee a handsome man, just take the fruit away, I will go to the town tailor store to customize small clothes.
MC: Is this considered as cheating?
Lucien: The big tree did not say anything about rules, so all available means are not cheating.
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Big Tree: It seems that you are indeed a little clever. Let me tell you, the clue to the treasure is in the cave.
Big Tree: The location of the cave is marked on the tattered parchment scroll wishing you luck.
MC: ...
Big Tree: Where can I get the tattered parchment scroll, you ask?
Big Tree: Some time ago it fell into the hands of humans, should be a fabric seller, I can only help you this far.
They buy it from cloth merchants.
Big Tree: Have you already got the tattered parchment scroll? Look, the location of the cave is already marked on the parchment scroll.
MC: Yeah!
Lucien: Then let's get going.
[The next stop]
MC: Lucien, did you hear any strange noises?
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Lucien: I think, this time it should not be ground python.
Lucien: But maybe it's something like...
MC: Ahhhhh stop it! Hurry! Let's get off the boat!
Lucien: <( ◜‿◝ )>
[Free Trade]
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Take a closer look at torn and tattered mural paintings.
Lucien: The mural seems to say that to find the treasure, you need the guidance of a school of fish.
Lucien: And the fish are typically somewhere in the sea near a deserted island.
Lucien: It needs to be found in a special way.
MC: Then what? Hey, why is the most critical location there is missing?
Lucien: It seems that finding the missing mural is our next task.
MC: Huh? There are so many bats here, could they hiding it here?
Lucien: MC's hypothesis sounds inexplicably plausible.
MC: There are also a lot of bats here, maybe it’s hiding here.
MC: Ah! Something has fallen!
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Lucien: It looks like a compass and there seems to be a small treasure map inside.
MC: Why would they place the treasure map here? Are they afraid of it being stolen?
Lucien: Probably because it is easier to conceal what is to be hidden by making it part of the item.
-clunk!!!! There was a strange sound.
Lucien: It seems that there are other people besides us who are interested in this mural.
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Merchant: It's unfortunate that you guys ran into me today.
Merchant: I heard your conversation just now, and what you want is hidden in one of my goods.
Merchant: But I will not tell you, you have to choose for yourselves.
MC: Lucien, what do you think? Which item will it be hidden in?
Lucien: This sculpture of a bunny reading a book may contain the fragment we are looking for.
Lucien: Just like the treasure map just now, people in this era know how to hide things very well.
MC: Then we'll buy this!
Merchant: Nice eye.
Merchant: The engraved fragment is yours, go and use it where it's supposed to be.
MC: The book in the bunny's hand is the carved fragment! Lucien, you are amazing.
Lucien: Because there is a person who looks a lot like a bunny, I instantly saw it at a glance.
[Look at the picture and talk]
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MC: The first image looks like a pile of rocks. 
MC: This stone seems to refract light and reflect it into the sea…
Lucien: Then, these fish under the sea should be attracted by the light.
MC: That's right! The second image makes it clear that it's a shipwreck.
MC: The third shining image should be the treasure we are looking for!
Lucien: In other words, this treasure is in a shipwreck at the bottom of the sea.
Lucien: To find the wreck, you have to find these small rocks on the deserted island first.
MC: The little rocks will attract schools of fish, which will then lead us to the wreck! So exciting!。
Lucien: This little student, she must have been good at reading and telling stories as a child.
MC: Of course, I will let Professor Lucien know more about it when I have the chance.
MC: Lucien! The skeletons here seem to have lit up for a moment!
Lucien: It seems that this cave riddle solving is not over yet.
[Guiding rocks]
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Lucien: Any findings?
MC: Lucien, there seems to be some small stones in it.
MC: Don’t you think that if we put them up, they will look a lot like the ones in the mural?
Lucien: It is indeed the same… I understand.
Lucien: It looks like we'll be taking these guiding rocks with us on our journey to the deserted island.
Lucien: It's a good thing you were attentive, or we might have missed them.
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MC: It's all because Professor Lucien has taught me well.
[Brave the deserted island]
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MC: Let's go and put the guide rocks on the island!
Lucien: Have you figured out where to put the rocks?
MC: Eh? We need to look for a specific place?
Lucien: I began to wonder if MC really is the “senior” here.
[Roadblocks]
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Native: ¥..... &¥## ..... %%&
MC: Hello! Do you know where to place the guiding rocks? You…
Native A: Grrr, %@! #, haven't seen a living person in a long time!
Native A: If you don't want to become my ration, give 20,000 gold coins in exchange of your life %...@! #!
MC: You want to eat us?!
MC: You can have all the money! You just have to keep your word.
Native A: Ahoy, ahoy, a fortune!
Native A: But I only promised only I would not eat you guys, not others people, you guys take care of yourselves hahaha.
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Native B: What a handsome young man and beautiful woman, you two look so delicious. #¥...
Lucien: Did you know? All food is organic and inorganic matter from nature.
Lucien: And you are also one of the substances, converting one substance into another…
Lucien: There is no point in doing anything but wasting energy.
Lucien: That is to say, the act of eating does not make any sense.
MC: Good job Lucien! Make him dizzy~
Native B: I can' t understand what you are saying! &¥%^
MC: Did you just knock him out???
Lucien: Sometimes a rough solution is simpler than a smart solution.
Lucien: This is not a place to stay for long, we may need to avoid the natives first before seeking treasure.
MC: Let's go to the other side and check it out!
[Avoid Natives]
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MC: For the time being, we have escaped the natives, but it is still dangerous.
Lucien: There is a broken boat over there, why don't we go over there and hide.
MC: Mmm!
MC: Lucien, did you hear a strange sound?
Lucien: It should be the sound of airflow flowing through the cave.
Lucien: But this is the game world after all, there may be unexpected "surprises"-
MC: QAQ Don't scare me.
Lucien: Want to hold my hand? Maybe by letting you feel me by your side, you can be brave enough to explore.
MC: Indeed, it was a refreshing experience to see the dusty Professor Lucien.
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Lucien: It is also a rare experience to experience a "dusty" treasure hunt with you.
MC: Then I will document such experiences well!
MC: Huh? Look! is there another exit over here?
Lucien: Well, judging the wind and the light it does seem to lead to another place.
Lucien: Want to check it out?
[Master of the Sea]
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MC: Look! There are sunlit rocks along the coast, so beautiful.
Lucien: Maybe this is the place we're looking for.
Lucien: Want to try putting the guide rocks on it?
MC: Mmm!
I put the guiding rocks and the sunlight refracted in a peculiar way.
MC: Wow, there is really a light shining on the sea.
Lucien: The sea where the light spot is located should be the location of the mysterious school of fish, let's go check it out.
MC: Are we going to dive?
Lucien: That's a good idea.
Lucien: If there are amazing sea creatures in this world, we are just in time to feast our eyes on them.
MC: Does Professor Lucien also have imagination about the underwater world?
Lucien: Rather, I want to see the underwater world that she imagines in her mind.
Lucien: It must be much more beautiful than I can imagine.
[Cannon, open fire!]
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MC: Look! that glowing area must be where the treasure is!
Lucien: The light represents the treasure, which is similar to the painting on the mural.
MC: Eh? Do we need to find a specific place again?
Sea Monster: Hold on, this little boat ahead.
Sea Monster: This tree is planted by me and so road is mine, if you want to cross this road-
Sea Monster: Hand over the treasure!
MC: Wait, how did you plant a tree here?
Then we play a mini-game where we shoot octopus with cannon
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MC: Finally, we knock them out. Are you hurt?
Lucien: Of course not, we worked perfectly together.
Lucien: I can see that this lady sailor already has the spirit of riding the waves.
MC: Back to the topic, how should we dive down?
Lucien: There seemed to be fishing boats on the shore of the small island, let's go over and ask them.
[Gift of Love]
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Fisherman: Shipwreck at the bottom of the sea? My fishing boat can help you tow the shipwreck, but you have got to do me a favor.
Fisherman: Girls nowadays like shell bracelet, and my granddaughter wants it too. Can you make one for me?
MC: Of course it's fine!
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MC: These little shells are so cute, they will definitely make a bracelet that will make his granddaughter happy.
MC: Huh? Why did you pick up so many shells?
Lucien: The fisherman said that shell bracelets are popular now, and so my little girl should have one too.
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??: This shitty place, I'm lost again.
Peddler: I never thought there would be customers in such a desolate place. I am a merchant, would you like to see my goods?
Peddler: If you want a shell bracelet, just bring 5 shells to me and I can help you make it.
Peddler: This bracelet is now popular, so the production cost is very low, just take this bracelet as a meeting gift.
Fisherman: The aesthetic of young people is still good.
Fisherman: According to the agreement, I will help you to drag the sunken ship up. Let's meet on the other side of the island
MC: Thank you so much!
[Treasure Key]
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Lucien: The light is emanating from behind a dark door inside the ship, so the treasure we are looking for should be right here.
MC: But the door seems to be locked, we have to find out if there is a key.
MC: Lucien, look at this beautiful coral.
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Lucien: Indeed, it looks like flower from the sea.
Lucien: However, the one in the middle has a strange color.
MC: Let's see… it seems to be hollow.
MC: Found it! Here is the key to the treasure!
[Glorious Ball]
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Click-
The door crack spreads thick floating dust, the key in my hand instantly turned into a wisp of smoke, and the ship's door automatically popped open.
There was no expected golden treasure, behind the door of the ship was a mist, and there seemed to be nothing.
MC: How can this be…
MC: Lucien, are we experiencing a bug in the system?
Lucien: If it's a bug in the system, an alert should pop up soon.
Lucien: So we might as well wait a bit.
Right after he spoke, a slender light appeared out of thin air, which was woven and extended as if it were alive.
Finally, a looming human figure is constructed, and the glittering light is scattered around its body.
??: Congratulations to both of you on finding the treasure.
MC: But there is nothing here… Who are you and what is this place?
??: This is zero. It is the world where nothing exists, and also the world where everything exists.
??: Who I am is not important.
I was a little puzzled but seemed to understand something else. This virtual figure is probably some kind of NPC.
I couldn't help but look at Lucien in confusion, just in time to meet his bemused gaze.
Lucien: MC, where do you think this room is located on this shipwreck?
I was stunned and glanced around the spacious area.
MC: The place looks so spacious, maybe it was a ballroom before?
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As soon as the words were said, the glowing light on the NPC disappeared after two flashes.
The depths of the mists also began to emit a hazy colored glow.
Soon, the increasingly bright and dazzling colors gradually revealed the details.
A crystal chandelier flickered on the golden wall, reflecting strands of soft light on the velvet window curtain embroidered with silver thread.
At a glance, it looks like a glorious ballroom!
MC: Lucien, what's going on here?
Lucien: Remember when you first pointed to an NPC and said he looked like Pete?
MC: I remember, when we walked past him, he said he was Pete, and it took me by surprise.
Lucien: In fact, from that time I vaguely feel that something is not right, so I have a conjecture.
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Lucien: Perhaps our ideas can change the environment here...
He suddenly paused and shook his head with a faint smile.
Lucien: No, it's not so much about change as it is about creation.
Lucien: It's like when we head to town, where there was nothing, but it slowly becomes lush...
Lucien: I think it's because the system picked up some of the information from our profiles and conversations, and then created the game content accordingly.
I blinked, thinking over his hypothesis.
MC: Wow, so amazing… But why would the system do that?
Lucien: Perhaps because this treasure wants to give us the appropriate hints from the very beginning.
Lucien: MC, is there anything else you want to do, but it's hard to realize in real life?
Lucien: I think now is a great opportunity.
I vaguely caught the meaning of Lucien's words, looked around at the glittering ballroom, and smiled.
MC: Well… I want to participate in a real banquet with Professor Lucien on this kind of medieval ship!
As soon as the words left my mouth, the ballroom in front of me was once again enveloped in light.
When I opened my eyes again, I was greeted by a magnificently dressed crowd.
They twirled gracefully under the crystal lights and their gorgeous skirts blossomed into layers of petals on the carpet.
MC: Lucien, it really happened…!
MC: But it feels a bit monotonous, there should also be music to it.
Before the words left my mouth, a long, elegant melody flowed over the ballroom. I looked at Lucien with delight and swung his hand.
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MC: Lucien, try it too.
Lucien: Although my imagination is not as rich as yours… I do want to give it a try.
Lucien: After all, the opportunity to do as you wish like now is indeed rare.
He leaned over slightly with a smile in his eyes and held out his hand to me.
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Lucien: This beautiful lady, please dance with me above the rolling waves.
The stable floor tilted up in response to his voice, and just as I was slipping back, Lucien wrapped one hand around my waist and held my palm in the other, stepping in the dance.
Lucien: I also want you to see this era in all its rightful glory.
The glazed windows creaked open. Ships with high sails passed outside, and the sailors on board were busy carrying the goods.
One of the captain-like men blew the trumpet in his hand, and the loud trumpet sounds rippled back and forth on the sea.
MC: Lucien, this should be one of the most special dance we have ever done, right?
Lucien: Definitely. But I want to be a little more special.
Lucien: Because, I want MC to remember this moment forever.
As his words fell, only Lucien and I were left in the dazzling ballroom.
We continued to twirl, stepping around in circles on the soft carpet.
I stared at him intently until the end of a dance song, Lucien's footsteps gently paused and he leaned down towards me.
Lucien: Before this dance is over, I would like to ask MC for the treasure that belongs only to me.
Lucien: May I?
MC: You may.
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I closed my eyes and smiled to welcome the warm and familiar sweetness.
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When I open my eyes again, the pod door in front of me has slowly opened
I stood up and took two quick steps, smiling and hugging Lucien who was already out of the cabin.
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MC: Lucien, I didn't expect this game to be so interesting, the environment and background inside can actually be created by the players themselves!
Lucien: I think it is because the endless creativity of the human brain that makes this game extra fun.
Lucien: But even so, our brains need to be constantly stimulated in order to be more creative.
A staff member walked up to us and handed us a photo in his hand.
Staff: Professor Lucien, Miss MC, congratulations on your successful completion. This is your wonderful moment in the treasure hunt.
Staff: We're so happy to see your creativity and hope you've had fun in the process!
In the quick photograph print, Lucien is holding my hand. We’re dancing among a gorgeous and lavish light.
When the staff left, I tilted my head, looked at Lucien, and spoke in a serious manner.
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MC: It was thanks to Professor Lucien's creativity that I was able to experience such fresh and unforgettable experience.
Lucien: Is that so? But my idea is just an extension of your idea.
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Lucien: So without you, I probably wouldn't have been able to think of anything.
His tone had a familiar "aggravation" that made me laugh.
MC: Hmm, liar~
The aggrieved look between his eyebrows was even greater, he even sighed innocently.
Lucien: This is so wrong to me.
Lucien: Every word I say comes from my heart.
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Lucien: Well anyway, remember what I just said, stimulation is essential if you want to be more creative.
MC: Do you mean that I can stimulate Professor Lucien's creativity?
Lucien: More than creativity, to be precise.
He lowered his eyes, his eyes traveling slowly over me.
Lucien: My life is like an open book when I am with MC.
Lucien: It can be filled with all kinds of answers, or it can be left blank.
Lucien: You are the one who showed me that everything in life is undefined and creates a myriad of possibilities.
His voice was soft and gentle. The moment it fell I can feel it circling on my heart.
MC: Oh...
I laughed heartily and stepped forward to clasp his hand, trying to hide my pounding heart.
MC: Since I received such a high evaluation from Professor Lucien...
MC: Then I'll have to bring more undefined creation to your life in the future!
Lucien: Then I'll keep my expectations up from now on.
Lucien: Because I was also curious, with such excitement and influence…
Lucien: What kind of "world" can I create for MC.
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Lucien: This may be a proposition that needs to be answered slowly over time in the future.
47 notes · View notes
grayintogreen · 1 year
Note
(different anon) I think even Brevyn was supposed to be some sort of mirror to what Yasha was to Molly.
Also, and this is kinda unrelated, but do you remember the evil monologue? Lucien said that "when I died, when I scattered, and they put me back together, I was given a view behind the curtain and I saw the fallacy I had given everything for". This monologue made me think that he worshiped the Somnovem as gods before dying, then he saw them for what they truly were during those two years as purple stardust, and then, after waking up from the resurrection, he didn't see them as gods anymore. But that is not what happened in the book...
And Vess being an almost good guy being confronted by the villain with schizophrenia like characteristics did not sit well with me but it's more of a personal thing in this case...
I really really wanted to like the book in its entirety but maybe my expectations were too high...
Anyway, I love your Tombtakers origin story and it will always be canon in my heart!
AND THAT WOULD BE FINE IF NOT FOR CREE BEING RIGHT THERE ALREADY BEING THAT PARALLEL!!! The difference being… what? That Lucien betrayed her and do the comparison isn’t valid? I just can’t fucking handle the disrespect for my girl here.
YEAH THE BOOK SKIPPED RIGHT THE FUCK OVER HIS ASTRAL SEA FIELD TRIP LIKE UM THAT WAS IMPLICITLY CANON. Like the way Culpasi was talking it was like NOTHING happened when Lucien was scattered. Excuse??
Yeah I did not like that Vess was treated like a heroic person who had actually been fighting back against the Somnovem after fucking up. That’s not the way she talked to the Nein during the speak with dead, declaring herself the Nonagon and GLEEFULLY talking about how she literally tortured someone beyond death. That was bullshit and I had almost forgotten about it. Vess doesn’t deserve that kind of fucking redemption when there’s zero indication she’s changed like THEN WHY WERE YOU AT THE DEVIL’S SABBATH VESS???
My expectations were definitely high but I was not expecting so much to just be flat out offensively wrong like damn Africa what happened.
THANK YOU. I’ve gotten a lot of positive response about that and it’s not helping my ego but… I don’t think it’s ego to think you can do better when so much canon got blatantly ignored or overwritten. AND MY GIRL WAS SHAFTED. SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SECONDARY PROTAGONIST.
5 notes · View notes
bookofmirth · 2 years
Note
Elain will likely form her own found family some day. I find it hard to believe that it’s the shadow twins or that she’ll even find it in the Night Court. Let me explain:
My theory is that Elain’s book will revolve around the Koschei plot. (Assuming Elain’s book is last) it’s only natural the big baddie of the spinoffs gets taken down in the final book. Elain has had visions of Koschei and that onyx box, which I think will play a viral role in destroying him (perhaps it’s where he hid his soul?) When the time finally comes to take Koschei down I think Elain will either step up and ask to help since she can identify that onyx box and maybe even the precise location/layout of Koschei’s swamp if she gets more visions surrounding him, OR Rhysand will send her, along with Lucien, to the continent. Vassa will definitely join since I’m sure she’d love to be a part of Koschei’s demise (if she isn’t back at the lake at this point yet) and perhaps Jurian will too. If this happens, this will not only give Elain and Lucien the chance to finally confront and get to know each other without running out of the room, it’ll give Elain the opportunity to explore the continent like she’s wanted to and do some self discover and healing. On top of that there’s a chance she’ll bond with the band of exiles and form her found family with them. Just a theory.
Anyway, whether it’s the band of exiles or some other characters, if they happen to be the people she forms that special bond with I hope parts of the fandom won’t pit them against the ic or compare them like they’re doing with the Valkyries. I’m desperately hoping that by the time the final book comes out the fandom wars will have died down.
I can see it happening like this! Elain is most clearly tied to Koschei in terms of villains and plots, so... it makes sense for her book to end out the series that way.
I would like to see Vassa free herself. And I can see Vassa being a good mentor/role model type person for Elain in the sense that Vassa won't just accept her fate, but fights for what she wants, which is exactly what Elain needs to do. Elain has been accepting for far too long and I think she needs to see someone who is unafraid of not only saying "no", but of expressing their wants as well. Elain doesn't really do either, she just accepts. It helped her survive for a long time but she doesn't need to just survive anymore.
I'll be glad when the ship war is over so we can get back having fights *just* about the characters themselves 🤣
7 notes · View notes
acourtofthought · 9 months
Note
Hi! I was curious to know what your thoughts were for the future of Eris. I’m an Eris stan since SF. If the next book is about Elucien I expect (hope) he’ll be featured often.
I think Eris’ actions, background, choices are very similar to Rhysand so I’m hoping for a redemption arc or explanations to his secrets/motives. Now that I’ve acknowledged the resemblance I keep finding more and more instances of it. Some of the things Eris says could easily be changed to Rhysand when Rhysand wears his arrogant and cruel mask, and vice versa. [Insert a ‘Who Said It?’ trivia game between the 2]
I suppose the same could be said for the other 2 brothers on whether or not they’re the “bad” guys. One brother that is the powerful heir and 2 enforcer brothers, all with cruel reputations, was basically the bat boys. Cassian is referred to as the Lord of Bloodshed and Azriel is infamous for torturing to gain information. I’m all for morally grey characters but I don’t like the hypocrisy of those in the NC judging those in the AC when the NC likes being secretly good but still wanting to seem mean and cruel to their enemies. Just because someone does bad things doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.
Beron is clearly a villain who used fear and punishment to ensure his sons did as they were told. He divided all the brothers emotionally by pitting them against one another to fight for the crown and physically by sending them off to their own territories as soon as he could. That also sounds similar to Rhysand’s father when he was the High Lord of the Night Court. We know from SF and Cassian that all 3 brothers spent time at the House of Wind and one of their punishments involved the 10,000 steps and vomit (gross 🤢). The former NC High Lord also purposely split them up during the First War and we had Rhysand’s POV in WAR about looking through the corpses of Illiarian warriors for Cassian and Azriel. He also trained Azriel to be his spymaster and maybe torturer? There’s no way that wasn’t traumatizing.
The Autumn Court has kept themselves secluded kind of like Velaris with very few knowing the inner workings of the court and super strict border control.
Cassian, who has hated Eris for 5 centuries, noted that deep down Eris was actually a good male. I disagree with the coward part of Cassian’s statement because Eris had literally just been tortured by Beron and cowards don’t withstand that sort of thing for centuries.
Eris told Nesta not to believe all the lies she’s heard about him and even said he was sincere in his marriage offer. He also hinted there was something Mor was leaving out about when she was left on the Autumn Court border. Mor has the gift of truth so no one has ever doubted her recollection of events and Eris may have needed to remain playing the villain back then for his own agenda. Isn’t it interesting that we’re now finding out about this in addition to learning he alerted Tamlin to basically save Lucien after Jesminda’s murder? He also could have winnowed Feyre and Lucien immediately to his father in WAR but the chase was dragged out just in time for them to be rescued.
He was in SF more than he has been in the other books. So I think SJM is leaving these little Easter eggs for the reader on purpose so that we already have a more open mind about him for Elucien’s book.
I do think SJM is setting Eris up for an arc that restores his character. Even as early as ACOWAR we have this line:
But as Eris strode by ... I could have sworn there was something like sadness - like regret, as he glanced to Lucien.
SJM doesn't usually put lines like that in her books unless there's going to be some reconciliation between characters down the road.
SJM further pushes the "justice for Eris" narrative in SF when we see him at the Human Lands with Lucien, addresses that Mor may have been too scared to face the truth of what actually happened between them (I personally think they are Mates but Eris somehow knew of Mor's preference for females so he did what he could to see her free so that she could choose a life with someone she loved rather than be forced into the schemes of the Autumn Court married to him but in a way that wouldn't raise Beron's suspicions), and we see Cassian finally showing the first hints of forgiveness towards Eris by telling him he thinks he might be a good male. That's a far cry from him wanting to kill him in past books for what happened with Mor.
I could be wrong but I think the entire point of the series is to build towards a lasting era of peace between the courts, the humans and the continent. If Eris is meant to take over as High Lord of Autumn after Beron's death, that means he's going to have to be someone everyone gets along with to some degree. And there's no better way for SJM to tug on readers heartstrings and ask for forgiveness than to find out that Eris's past actions all stemmed from his being tortured by his father. To find out that he had to "play the game" to avoid suspicion. It's a very Amarantha / Rhys move. I know that's never going to be enough for some readers and that's ok but I do think it's the direction SJM is headed in hopes that some understand and accept that he's not as bad as they first believed.
By the end of Lucien's book I think we may see Beron dead, see him able to reconnect with the LoA and welcomed back in Autumn (at least to visit). And I think that also means there's hope for he and his brother to begin building a relationship after all the secrets and reasons for them come to light. I don't know that SJM will write it so they're long lost brothers reunited and best friends but I do think there's we're going to see a change for the positive especially because they're set up to be High Lords in two different courts and a positive political relationship will also be necessary for future peace.
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sharpen-your-blade · 2 years
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no because let’s talk about this whole “nesta never deserved cassian’s love” theme.
why? genuinely why?
because she was cold to him? because she said mean things to him? because she refused to be friends with him and fit into his lil gang of overgrown man-children and holier-than-thou women?
nesta literally never owed him any of those things. she didn’t owe him her time or attention or friendship. yes, she was disrespectful to him from the beginning, i won’t excuse that, but literally so was he?? like, when they first met this man legit came for her, a full stranger to him, giving this whole spiel on how she basically failed feyre as a sister because feyre hunted to provide for their family while nesta sat on her ass. so like, what’s up with these double standards? if ur gna hold nesta accountable for every horrible thing she’s said to cassian, let’s do the same to him. because him saying this shit to her in acomaf was…atrocious. idk how we all looked at it and thought yeah…that’s a ship. i ship it. my ship is sailing.
and yk what, if this is the criteria for whether nesta “deserves” cassian’s love or not, why does the narrative not give that same energy to feyre and elain?
think about it. when feyre and rhys first met and throughout the beginning of their relationship, she was cold and rude to him. she made no effort to get to know or befriend him and his friends. she literally threw a shoe at his head. but because feyre was suffering from depression and ptsd, somehow it’s okay that her relationship with rhys started off super rocky? somehow feyre is never undeserving of rhys’ love, and vice versa, even though rhysand literally assaulted her?
elain was also pretty closed off and withdrawn from the ic when she first met them. she, like feyre, was going through personal shit, so the narrative excuses her initial behaviour around the ic. even with lucien, whom she constantly turns away/avoids, the narrative doesn’t villainize her treatment of him. in fact, it always strives to make it clear that elain does not owe lucien anything just because they’re mates (which is true—she doesn’t. so why couldn’t the narrative extend nesta that same courtesy? why wouldn’t it give nesta even more of it, considering she and cassian weren’t aware of their mating bond when they first met? they had even less of a connection than elain and lucien.)
but when it comes to nesta—nesta, who was severely depressed, traumatized, suffering from ptsd, developed an alcohol addiction, and basically had an eating disorder—she is for some unexplainable reason not exempted from her behavior towards cassian on the grounds that her mental health was at its lowest the way feyre and elain were. the way she treats him means that, even though he treats her just as terribly in the beginning and even more so throughout their relationship as it develops (or does…whatever it does in acosf. idk if i’d classify it as “development”), she isn’t “worthy” of his love.
WHY?
because nesta isn’t “nice”? bestie, with the way her own mate + her own sisters + the ic treat her, how can they even blame her?
i just do not agree with the notion that love is something people need to “earn” or “be deserving of”, and i disagree with it even more when u try to use this notion as a way to show the “worth” of people (yes, even if those people are fictional characters).
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The House on Telegraph Hill
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Robert Wise attempts to go the Alfred Hitchcock route in his film noir THE HOUSE ON TELEGRAPH HILL (1951, Criterion), with a touch of NO MAN OF HER OWN thrown in as well. He pulls off some impressive visuals with the help of cinematographer Lucien Ballard and some strong art direction but miscalculates a key performance. Valentina Cortese is a Pole (with an Italian accent) who adopts her best friend’s identity when the latter dies while they’re confined to the concentration camp at Belsen. That leads her to San Francisco where she plays mother to the woman’s son, left with a rich relative who died recently, and eventually marries the boy’s guardian (Richard Basehart). As if guilt about stealing another woman’s identity isn’t bad enough, she comes to suspect that Basehart may not be the upright citizen he seems. Basehart does wonderful work in the villainous role. He’s so smooth it’s easy to believe nobody is on to him. But Cortese, who starts with lovely work at the start and fits seamlessly into what seems to be documentary footage of post-war refugees, is so obviously tortured and duplicitous it’s hard to believe nobody seriously questions her sanity. Instead, a lawyer (William Lundigan, blandly competent) she’d met in the relocation offices gladly steps in as her protector. This also creates the maddening impression that a woman strong enough to claw her way into a new life after the old one was destroyed will gladly give up her agency to be controlled by the right man if he’s sufficiently boring and pretty. The house is a terrific set piece, and Wise and Ballard photograph it to maximum effect. And there’s a good stand-in for Mrs. Danvers in Fay Baker as the governess who’d had an earlier dalliance with Basehart. In a bit of casting trivia, the woman Cortese replaces is played by Natasha Lytess, who would soon become Marilyn Monroe’s acting coach and possible lover.
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hellacioushag · 3 years
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I keep thinking about how weird the narrative that Lucien is pressuring Elain or forcing himself on her is. Cause like…no.
Lucien declined to live in Velaris because he was giving his mate the space she needs
Lucien has never forced her to talk about the bond in the 2+ years they’ve been aware of it
He doesn’t force his presence on her, he accepts an invitation from his friend to spend the holidays with everyone
He brings her thoughtful gifts from the things he’s learned about her in an attempt to show her he’s making an effort to try and get to know her
He constantly makes it a point not to overcrowd her so he only pops into Velaris for work or holiday events he’s invited to. He doesn’t push her to be near him all the time. I know point 1 and 3 are the same thing, but I feel this needs to be said multiple times since people keep pushing the narrative he’s forcing his presence on her.
Lucien has his own shit going on outside of Elain. He is working with the Band of Exiles on human-fae relations, he’s trying his best to help where he can in the Spring Court, he and Jurian are trying to help Vassa with her curse… not to mention the shit he’s unaware of like papa helion, his potential high lord powers, Beron working for Koschei, Eris (and LadyA?) trying to assassinate Beron… the guy has a lot going on and he’s just trying to make it through the day. He is not sitting around in the human lands trying to come up with ways to force his presence onto Elain. He’s a respectful and patient guy.
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peakysanakin · 3 years
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a bit about Elain's trauma and why it correlates with her rejecting her mating bond with Lucien in the future, a thread:
(WARNING: this post isn't about ships, except Elucien because Lucien is a key factor in Elain's trauma. )
Everyone deals with trauma in their own way and that's totally okay. Some are destructive, some shut people up and others want to not feel anything. Elain, just as Nesta, went into the Cauldron and those moments were horrific for her.
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She is literally dragged and shoved into the Cauldron while she cries, struggles and kicks to escape the guards' grasps. The guards and the King keep laughing at her during the whole time.
Elain is used as an experiment for the Queens.
She is used as if she was a mere object.
Her body has been changed forever and she is practically naked, completely terrified and in shock from whatever she has gone through inside the Cauldron. (We know how terrifying and horrible it can be because of Nesta's experience.) Everyone is looking at her, some are even laughing.
Do you know how violating this could feel? To be left naked and vulnerable in front of people who have just terrorized you? How would you feel?
We don't know what she goes through inside the Cauldron, but it was probably very painful and terrifying. Then, she is thrown off it and she experiences this horrific scene, and her mating bond with Lucien snaps.
Another thing has been decided for her.
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Not only has her body and life been changed forever without her consent, now her romantic relationship has been decided for her as well. And it's with a man who participated in the plan that made this horrific moment happen.
Lucien is an accomplice of that. He isn't a bad person, but he is CLEARLY an accomplice. (GO NESTA!!)
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Elain is dealing with her trauma and she doesn't own Lucien anything. She suffered so much, she was broken and traumatized by what happened to her.
And Lucien and their mate bond are a BIG reminder of the day her body and life were changed against her own will.
We don't know much about her, but we have seen enough of her suffering and how traumatized she is in the books. Feyre always admired Elain's strength, because being kind and gentle in a world so dark takes balls, you know? Later on in the books, Elain is still kind and gentle but more reserved and quiet because she is dealing with her own shit.
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Strength doesn't equal to physical force. A big example? Queen Elizabeth I of England was strong and she never fought in a battlefield, but she was intelligent, cunning and brought a Golden Age to her country. She made a place for herself in a patriarcal society and that's how strong she was.
Elain's strength differs from Nesta's, Mor's and Feyre's. She isn't an active fighter like them, but yet she had the guts to fight in the war and stabbed the King on the neck to protect Nesta because she loves her sister and would die for her. Look at this.
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No one wanted her to fight, but she chose to. SHE CHOSE TO! This is important. She is scared in the battle camp and doesn't know how to fight or wield a sword, yet she trusts her friends and wants to fight alongside them. 
She might die in the battlefield, but at least she will fight fighting and not be a pawn.
She will enact revenge for what the King did to Nesta, to Feyre and to herself.
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MOREOVER –– Another big trauma (aside from happened inside the Cauldron and the dramatic changes in her life), it will probably be center around her body. 
Her clothes, body and beauty are mentioned all the time. ALL THE TIME. Elain, who was a very proper and modest lady (and didn't want to talk about periods even with her sisters), was seen naked against her will by everyone and she probably felt violated.
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Feyre mentions Elain's reaction when she sees her and Nesta wearing Illyrian fighting leathers. She mentions how Elain was offered something less scandalous and more proper. 
Imagine how someone so proper would feel after being used and seen all vulnerable and naked by so many people? To have been ogled against your will? To be seen as an “object” to see whether the Cauldron worked?
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Nesta is a sexual assault survivor and she also suffered because of their youth, Feyre's sacrifice to provide for them and Elain suffering from the Cauldron incident. She dealt with her trauma in her own way, just as Elain deals with it in her own way. And that's okay!
In Elain's book, her choosing who she wants to be with and how she wants to live from now on will be important. She will turn down Lucien, as it is obvious from what I explained above and because of the following:  Feyre and Rhys comment on how being mates doesn't equal to being right for each other.
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Sarah J. Maas said this as well.
She also said that a mating bond is something rare but that some people might be lucky and end up having two. But the main thing is: 
Elain will reject Lucien because they aren't right for each other and she will chose whomever she wants to because she loves that person. That's big and it will be key to the plot.
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Elain might end up being lucky and while falling for another person, a new mating bond might develop. But at the end of the day, it will be her choice. 
Not the Cauldron's choice, not society's choice or anyone else. 
Hers and hers alone.
You think she is boring? Well, we will learn more about her and we will see her heal from her trauma. Her body and her choices have been violated, but she will heal and grow for that and gain ownership over herself once again. 
Rhys, Amren and Feyre believe there is more to her than just the kindness she shows. 
“Maybe she was never given the chance to be that way.” “You think I stifle her?” “Not you alone. [...] But I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d dissapoint you all. [...] With time and safety, perhaps we’ll see a different side of her emerge”
“You think Elain is boring?” “I think she’s kind, and I’ll take that kindness over nastiness every day. But I also think we haven’t yet seen all she has to offer.”
“Don’t forget that gardening often results in something pretty, but it involves getting one’s hands dirty along the way.”
“You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”
“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”
“Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.”
Being a seer gives you many powers, but it would take me too much time so I recommend you to read this LONG AND AMAZING list of powers a seer might have posted by @miru5llec​ and you will be shocked and hyped.
If you like mythology and fantasy literature, you know seers are feared and respected. Kings have killed for having a seer in their ranks. They can reach levels of divine status and their ability as a seer gives them many more powers than those I have mentioned before.
Elain might not be physically powerful like Nesta or Feyre, but being a seer makes her more powerful than both of them but IN ANOTHER WAY. Look at the list above (linked) if you don't believe me. 
Her being on the Night Court makes Feysand's court the most powerful in Prythian.
That's why Elain is not boring and her trauma is valid. There is much more to her than what little we have seen. SJM has said so. Rhys, Feyre, Amren, everyone has said so in the books. We will learn about her, see her heal and chose who to love in her book.
“Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”
“But Elain said, “I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”
We will see her develop her powers and learn how to use them. She is possibly the key to killing Koschei (the big bad villain) because she might have visions of where his heart is hidden in that fucking box and guide the IC to find it.
Furthermore, stop saying “I want Elucien to happen so Lucien can be happy.” or “Azriel deserves better than Elain because she likes to garden and is mated to Lucien.”
Elain doesn’t belong to Lucien.
Elain can garden, bake and walk around on her hands while singing La Macarena and that doesn’t make her any less strong than Feyre, Mor, Nesta or any other female character.
(Also, in this stupid ship war I have seen people pointing out how she wouldn't be able to give Azriel children because her body isn't Illyrian. This is disgusting. You are basically saying that all her worth lies in whether she can give someone children or not.
Do I remind you adoption exists? Rhys, Cassian and Azriel are brothers by choice, not by blood and they are BROTHERS. You can adopt and be a mother. And you can chose to not have children and that would be okay too. A woman's worth isn't in her uterus.
And that’s it. 
(I posted this thread on Twitter as well, so if you liked it you can go there and RT it or hit a like.)
[og post]
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ncssian · 3 years
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A Favor: Part Twenty-Three
Nessian Modern AU
Masterlist
a/n: so yeah this isn’t my best work bc i havent been feeling great lately but i hope you guys can stay patient with me until i get my shit together. we’re almost to the end🤞
***
Sitting crammed between Elain and Feyre on the gray couch in Lana’s office, Nesta has to cross her legs prettily and pretend she doesn’t want to peel out of her skin right there. She doesn’t know what she was thinking when she invited her sisters to one of her therapy sessions, but she’s assuming it would be considered rude to kick them out now.
“Who wants to speak first?” Lana’s bob swings as she looks at each of them. The office is ice cold today, and Feyre and Elain’s presence doesn’t help the chill in the air.
Nesta crosses her arms before she can be asked to speak. “No, thank you,” she says. She knows everyone probably expects better from her, but no way in hell is she going to be the first to open up in front of this crowd. “Feyre,” she turns to her youngest sister instead, “why don’t you say something?”
“Actually, why don’t you set the example, Nesta?” Lana gives her a look, making her cheeks redden with irritation.
“Fine,” Nesta grumbles. She clears her throat. “As you can see, I have made moves to reconnect with my sisters. I invited them here because I hoped that therapy would bring us closer and also make them more… tolerable.”
Elain coughs, “Bitch.”
Nesta smiles tightly. “Elain could especially use this, I think.”
Lana is already frowning. She never frowns this early into a session. “We’ll start with an easy question, then. What’s been on your mind lately, Nesta?”
Nesta purses her lips, pretending to think. “Nothing important. I’m looking at jobs for the summer. I think Azriel keeps sneaking money into my purse, and it’s starting to become more than a little condescending. I caught up with some friends from school, and I was polite enough to pay for lunch.” She mentions off to the side to Elain, “Lucien was there, too.”
“Why would I care?” Elain sneers. She spies Lana’s disapproving look and lowers her head demurely. “Sorry,” she murmurs.
“That’s alright,” Lana says. “Why don’t you go next?”
“Me?” Elain’s head snaps up, and Nesta holds in her snicker.
“Start by describing your relationship with Nesta. I heard you two used to be very close.” Lana uncaps her pen, preparing to write.
Elain flushes lightly and folds her hands. “That was when we were children. The only thing keeping us together was that we shared a home. When we stopped living in the same place, some of us had no problem leaving others in the dust.”
“You can use my name,” Nesta rolls her eyes, “I’m right here.”
From the corner of her vision, Feyre cringes.
“Are you saying you feel abandoned by Nesta?” Lana continues probing.
Elain’s answering silence tells more than enough. Therapy must actually be paying off, though, because Nesta only thinks about interrupting and defending herself for a second before shaking it off. Her mind focuses on the word abandonment instead.
Lana is focusing on the same thing, because she leans closer and says, “Being abandoned bothers you?”
“I never said that,” Elain says indignantly.
“It would bother most people.”
Nesta watches Elain sigh and blink her big doe eyes at Lana. She’s always been able to use those eyes on anybody for anything. “I just don’t understand why I’m the villain for expecting a little loyalty,” Elain says sweetly. “Especially when you take a look at this face.” She cups her round cheeks. “You know psychology. How could you abandon this face?”
Nesta’s jaw hangs open. “Are we still talking about me?” She remembers Cassian telling her the story behind Azriel ghosting Elain, and a pang of guilt and pity hits her. She still hasn’t talked with Elain about why Azriel left Velaris, and she knows she won’t be able to decide whether to spare Az or not until she does.
“So that’s my turn,” Elain finishes up. “Feyre can go next.”
Lana is writing something sharply on her notepad, but she nods coolly. “Feyre, how would you describe your relationship with your sisters?”
“Oh, we don’t have time for all of that,” Feyre laughs awkwardly and waves a hand.
Nesta agrees, but the look Lana gives Feyre tells her that yes, they do have time.
Gulping, Feyre glances around. “Well, I was born last, so I guess that made me the outsider of the family. I never had much in common with my sisters, but now that we’re older I… hoped that we would grow past that.”
Translation: she hoped that once she found her happy ending in Rhysand’s arms, poor little Nesta and Elain would happily assimilate into her new community of wealthy friends, putting the cherry on top of her perfect life. And while Elain did that exact thing, it’s always bothered Feyre that Nesta won’t do the same.
Feyre continues, “I admit I’m not the best at understanding Nesta. Elain and I get along fine now, but Nesta…” Feyre meets her eyes. “It’s like nothing we do is enough for her, but for some reason I can’t stop trying.”
“Whose fault is that?” Nesta mutters.
“You want her approval,” Lana hums, taking notes.
“Is that what it is?” Feyre looks away.
Nesta refrains from saying yes, that’s exactly what it is, and it’s not my problem if you keep looking for something I can’t give.
“What are your feelings about that, Nesta?” Lana turns her focus to her. “Remember that this is a safe space.”
It really isn’t, not with two siblings holding long term grudges against Nesta. But once and for all, she’s going to set the record straight. “I spent most of my life being a bad sister.” Nesta’s voice is apathetic, straightforward. “I let Feyre take the burden of providing for us even though I was the oldest, and I didn’t know how to be anything other than cruel to my family. So once I had the means to do so, I cut everyone off for all of our sakes. I still don’t regret it, because being a stranger is better than being a bad sister.”
In that way, Nesta is a bit like her mother. Nesta was angry after her death, but she knows she would have been even angrier if Magdalene Archeron had lived and continued to be a disappointing parent. In that way, both of them are wise for leaving their families when they did.
“Or you could just be a good sister,” Elain interrupts with a drawl.
Nesta smirks bitterly at her. “I’d rather die.”
Feyre takes in a breath. “Why? Why are you like that with us?” She blinks furiously, and Nesta can see the simmer of her emotions. “It was okay when we thought you hated everybody, but you don’t. You only hate me and Elain.”
Nesta looks to Lana for help, but her therapist is sitting this one out. She sighs through her nose. “I don’t hate you,” she says, even though they might never understand. The next line comes with great difficulty. “I’ve loved you since before I even knew what love was. But I don’t like you very much, Feyre, and you don’t like me, either. Please stop trying to change that.”
When she finally meets Feyre’s eyes, though, they’re glimmering with tears. “How can I stop trying to change that?” Feyre whispers. “How can I give up on us like that?”
For Nesta to give Feyre and Elain the relationship they want from her would require nothing but lies on her part. And as much as she wishes she was capable of lying about this, she can’t do it.
Looking away and down at her hands, Nesta mutters, “It’s not fun for me either, but it’s how I am. I can’t be easy or friendly with you. I hate watching you try to make me be easy or friendly.”
Nobody says anything to that, but when Nesta looks up again Lana gives her a remote nod that Feyre and Elain don’t catch. Thank you for your vulnerability, it says.
“You said something interesting, Nesta,” Lana breaks the silence. “Did you see your sisters as your responsibility to raise?”
Nesta shrugs. “I was the oldest,” she repeats.
“Your father was the oldest.”
“He wouldn’t do shit even if you held a gun to his head, so I was up next.” Though Nesta hadn’t done shit either. Neither had Elain, but the rules have always been different for her. Elain redeems herself to others by handing out sunny smiles and pretending to have the intelligence of a fawn.
Lana stares at Nesta until Nesta’s skin starts to heat. “What?” she says defensively.
Ignoring the other two women in the room, Lana leans forward. “You told me once early into our relationship that part of the reason you left Tennessee was to get away from your sisters. You said you were heartbroken when they ended up following you here.”
Nesta doesn’t breathe or look to see her sisters’ reactions.
“Now I’m going to ask: did you really want to get away from your sisters, or did you want to escape the feeling of failing them?”
Nesta doesn’t know how to answer, because to her they might as well be the same thing. Having Feyre and Elain around is like having a weight tied to her chest. The lingering guilt every time Feyre is in a room, her existence screaming I’m the reason you’re still alive. Elain’s constant expectations of unconditional support and loyalty, whether it’s reciprocated or not. It’s all so heavy. And it all goes back to the fact that the three of them were once just helpless children.
If she couldn’t take care of her sisters, how is she supposed to take care of any child, ever?
Nesta releases a weary sigh. “You’re going to bring this up the next time we have the baby talk, aren’t you?”
Lana’s eyes sparkle. “Don’t get ahead of yourself just yet.” But Nesta can see from where she sits that her therapist’s notepad is covered in bullet points.
***
“I need to use the bathroom.” Feyre is hopping back and forth on her feet once the session is over. “You guys head down to the parking lot without me.” She exits in a rush, leaving the two sisters alone. Nesta hisses in frustration, nearly chasing after Feyre so she won’t have to face the inevitable awkward conversation with Elain.
By the end of the session, it was Elain that broke and pleaded with Nesta, “Don’t do everything we want, then. Just keep doing better, the way you’ve already been doing. I’ll be happy with just that.”
Nesta was surprised that Elain had even noticed her efforts, but she retorted, “And how do you plan to do better?”
To which Elain twirled her hair and murmured something halfheartedly about, “I might be more open to taking criticism or whatever.”
Though it was the absolute bare minimum, it was still a relief for Nesta to hear Elain admit that she has flaws worth criticizing.
Now, Nesta clutches the straps of her purse and turns for the stairwell leading to the parking lot. Elain follows without comment.
Inside the stairwell, Nesta asks, “Have you spoken to Azriel since he left Velaris?”
Elain looks surprised at the sudden question, and doesn’t remember to be guarded when she answers, “No. Why?”
Nesta shrugs, her heels thumping loudly on the linoleum stairs. “Because I know what happened between you two. I know why he left.”
Elain halts midstep, grabbing Nesta’s arm and turning to face her with wide eyes. “What do you mean, you know? He told you?”
“He told Cassian, and Cassian told me.” Nesta hardly cares that she’s being a poor friend to Azriel by spilling all this to Elain, and continues, “If I had known he was such a coward, I would have kicked him out of our place a long time ago… but I figured I would get your input on it first.”
She’s never seen Elain look so genuinely pleading before. “Get my input on what?” Elain breathes. “What did he say about me? Was it something I did?”
At that torn face that borders on heartbroken, Nesta decides that she’ll do more than kick Azriel out of the cabin. She’ll kick him off the whole mountain.
She shoves Elain’s back to get Elain detached from her and moving down the stairs again, and as they walk, Nesta spills everything she knows. She tells Elain about Rhysand’s talent of shoving his nose into places it doesn’t belong, and how one conversation with him managed to convince Azriel to ditch Elain for good. She tells her about how instead of having a straightforward conversation with Elain, Azriel chose to leave the city and hide out in the mountains like a pussy. She might sound blunt, but Elain needs blunt. She needs to know the unfiltered truth of things.
By the time they reach the floor where their cars are parked, Elain is silent. “Did he really say that?” she finally asks quietly. “He said he wants me to hate him?”
“That’s what I heard.” After a moment, Nesta feels the need to add, “You should hate him, though. He fucked up bad.”
When Elain continues strolling for their cars without replying, concern bites at Nesta. “You are mad at him, right? And mad at Rhysand? You’re not going to forgive them, right?”
“I’m not a total pushover,” Elain snaps. She stares at the cement ground as they walk. “I’m just… more disappointed than anything else. He gave up so easily.” She chuckles without humor. “It sounds like he was looking for an excuse to get away from me.”
Nesta frowns. “I don’t think he would’ve spent so long moping around our house if he wanted to leave you.” Though they can never truly know what Azriel was thinking or feeling until he grows a pair and talks to Elain. Still, she shudders at having to defend him.
“I take it he doesn’t mope anymore?” Elain says.
Nesta doesn’t know how to answer that truthfully. She knows there’s more to Azriel than he lets her and Cassian see, and she knows he’s gotten better at keeping his feelings to himself. So she says, “It looks like he’s doing better, but I really don’t know.” They reach Elain’s car.
“Were you in love with him?” Nesta suddenly asks. Or worse, is she still in love with him?
Elain digs around for her keys in her purse. “You know how I am. Of course I was.”
“Not anymore, though?”
Elain looks up, keys now in hand. “It’s hard to still feel love for someone I haven’t talked to in two months.”
Then it wasn’t real love. Nesta is relieved, even though it doesn’t change the fact that Elain is hurting either way.
Elain jabs her keys at Nesta and says sharply, “Don’t you dare punish him for what he did. That’s for me to decide on.”
Nesta’s brow creases in refusal. “I’ll do what I need to do, and you do you.” She’ll have to be careful with her plotting, though, considering Azriel is Cassian’s brother.
“No.” Elain surprises Nesta with the force in her tone. “He’s your roommate and your friend. Keep treating him like it.”
Elain makes it sound easier than it is, and Nesta wants to argue until she sees Feyre heading down the parking lot toward them. “Fine,” she grumbles halfheartedly.
Elain gives her one final long look, not of threat but something else. “Thank you—for inviting us today.” That’s all she says before getting in the driver’s seat of her little red car. At the same time, Feyre catches up to them.
“Where are you parked?” Feyre pants as she approaches Nesta. She sounds a bit out of breath, like she ran to get here before Nesta could drive off alone.
Nesta points down the lot to where her scrappy old car is waiting for her, and Feyre straightens up with a grim smile. “I’ll walk you.”
Nesta knows that arguing isn’t worth it, so she allows Feyre to trail her the rest of the way to her car. Once they reach the old thing, Nesta gives a curt goodbye and heads straight for the driver’s door. Before she can touch the handle, Feyre attacks her from behind with a hug.
“Get off me, freak!” Nesta tries to jostle her way out of Feyre’s arms. She tries being nice to her sisters one time and this is what she gets—
Feyre only squeezes her tighter. “You don’t have to hug back. Just let me love you my way.”
Nesta squirms for another second before stilling. Swallowing tightly, she stares at the reflection of herself and Feyre in the car door window. One of her hands goes to where Feyre’s hands are clasped around her stomach, and she stands there without moving. She can’t remember the last time she shared affection with a family member like this, but it must have been before their mother died.
The warmth at Nesta’s back doesn’t leave, like Feyre is trying to pour all her understanding into the hug. Silently saying, I’m finally starting to get it.
In a way, Nesta is starting to get it, too. After all, how do sisters with such a complicated history begin to forgive each other?
Not by apologizing, but by doing better in the future.
***
On her way home, Nesta remembers at the last minute to stop by Gwyn’s apartment to pick up one of her sweaters. She doesn’t know when Gwyn started raiding her closet like it was a free mall, but she has a school event next week and doesn’t plan on letting her nicest clothes rot at Gwyn’s forever.
Nesta enters using the key beneath the doormat, knowing Gwyn is at work and won’t mind her stopping by. She scans the living and dining areas for a glimpse of brown cashmere, but only finds scattered books and a disorganized mess. Her fingers twitch with the urge to stop and tidy up the place, but she continues hunting for the sweater. Gwyn promised it would be waiting in plain sight for her.
Realizing the scatter-brained girl probably forgot to put the sweater out for her, Nesta pauses in the hallway leading to Gwyn’s bedroom and bites her lip. She doesn’t know if bedrooms are off limits or not, considering how often Gwyn and Emerie have barged into hers, but she knows she doesn’t want to make a second trip here just for a sweater.
Without giving it further thought, she strides into Gwyn’s room—
And yelps to find Gwyn on the bed.
Except she isn’t alone, and there’s definitely another body under the dark green blanket with her, and whoever it is definitely has their head between her legs.
Nesta spins away at the same time she hears Gwyn’s cry of surprise. She braces one hand against the doorjamb and presses the other to her freezing cold face, not having any words for what she just saw.
“Nesta?” Gwyn calls from behind her. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Um, have you seen my sweater? It’s the expensive one.” She’ll just grab it and leave. Or maybe she’ll just leave—yes, that sounds like a good idea.
“Nesta?” a new, deeper voice repeats.
Gwyn hisses, and Nesta freezes because she recognizes that voice. She wants to be wrong so badly, but she has to whirl back around to confirm for herself.
“Azriel?”
***
a/n: i decided to cut this chapter short and add an extra one to flesh out my silly little gwynriel subplot. so if there’s anything specific or random you wanna see happen in the next chapter tell me bc i might have space for prompts!!
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