#luke alvez angst

[prentissluvr]

two mugs, half empty — luke alvez

pairing : luke alvez x bau!gn!reader (can be read as platonic or romantic) ➖⟢ genre : hurt/comfort ➖⟢ cw : feelings of guilt and shame, nightmare mentions, talk of canon typical violence, crying ➖⟢ wc : 2.8K

“you look like hell.”

“wow, thank you, luke. way to compliment somebody,” you deadpan, even though he said it with a voice full of empathy. he gives you a good-natured roll of his eyes before his face returns to that concerned look you opened your apartment door to.

“but seriously, did you sleep at all over the weekend?” you want to hate how much he cares about you, but the sincerity of his voice has you nearly ready to cave. 

“come in,” you offer, completely ignoring his question because the answer is “no, not really.” he raises his eyebrows at your lack of response, but steps in after you anyways. he can guess the answer well enough from the exhaustion evident in your whole figure.

you sit down with him in the kitchen, grabbing him a glass of water before he can say no to it. his gaze on you is heavy, but you ignore it in favor of examining the wood of the table in front of you. since you won’t say anything, he goes first.

“i came to check on you,” he states the obvious, “i’m– we’re kinda worried about you, you know? like, you haven’t responded to any of my texts all day and you never call in sick, even when you probably should, so i figured you’d probably be bedridden for you to make the choice to stay home.” he pauses for a long moment, as if inviting for you to explain why you’re, in fact, not bedridden, and not really physically sick at all. you don’t say a word. “so,” he prompts, “what’s up? why’d you turn down drinks with the rest of the team on saturday? kinda feels like you’re avoiding us.”

“i am avoiding you guys,” your voice comes out far quieter than you intended. you had wanted to sound nonchalant, and all you got was exhaustion. you sigh before continuing, “because you’re profilers and i don’t want to talk about it.” he sighs too.

“if it’s so bad that you went to the lengths to call off sick from work to avoid talking about it, it seems to me like it’s something you should talk about.”

you turn your head even further from him because you know he’s right. you’ve been holed up in your apartment, agonizing over what happened three nights ago, desperate to scream and cry about it to someone else. god knows you’ve done enough of that with yourself, but you’re reverting to old habits and it feels like you’re back to only knowing how to avoid, avoid, and keep avoiding.

“listen, i don’t want to push you, but i need you to know that i’m here for you.” his hand hovers over yours for a moment, silently asking permission before gently wrapping his fingers around yours. you clench your jaw and bite the inside of your cheek to keep tears from forming in your eyes. honestly, you didn’t think you could produce anymore, but here you are, trying not to cry in front of your coworker turned close friend whom you’ve probably upset by ignoring him.

luke gains a little bit of hope when you squeeze his hand. he squeezes back, hoping you feel the love and care that he puts into it. you do, and it doesn’t help your case with the whole crying ordeal.

“thanks,” you whisper. the thickness in your voice completely gives you away. tilting your head up to try to stop the flow of tears is plain old silly at this point, and he watches with a weight heavy on his heart as they overflow and fall down your cheeks. the tears catch in the light of the only lamp that’s turned on in the room. “fuck. goddammit,” you curse through the tears, well aware they won’t stop anytime soon. “luke,” you cry.

“i’m here,” he replies so earnestly without missing a beat that you begin to cry harder. that’s the last straw for him. quickly, he stands and wraps you up in his arms without a second thought. with you sitting, your face barely reaches his chest, and your arms reach around his lower torso. he’s got one hand rubbing up and down your back, the other cradling the back of your head into him. the way you hold onto him is desperate and breaks his heart, but he’s glad to give you something that you so clearly need. comfort.

“i–,” you try to explain, but you can’t get anywhere before choking on your own sobs.

“shhh, it’s okay. just let it out. i’m not going anywhere.” and he sticks to that promise, standing strong and unwavering, even after your tears run out and you can’t find it in yourself to pull away from him just yet. he doesn’t force a thing, just strokes the back of your head gently as a silent reminder that he’s there.

when you finally pull away, it’s only by a few inches, and he keeps his hands right where they are. he looks down at your face as you stare at the maroon fabric of his shirt and the tear stain you left behind. slowly, as if to not startle you, he bends down to be closer to your level. at first, you avoid meeting his eyes, but when the hand on your shoulder shifts up to your cheek and he gently wipes at the leftover tears, you let your gaze meet his. he gives you a smile, small and comforting, before speaking softly.

“i’m gonna make you some tea, alright?”

when you nod, his hands slide away from you, hesitant to let you go. your gaze follows his form as he turns and walks to the counter behind you, first grabbing your favorite mug from the cabinet and taking the liberty to grab one for himself too. then he’s at the pantry for the tea bags and he can feel your eyes on him. once the tea bags are on the counter, he’s by your side again. he gives you another soft smile as he grips the sides of your chair and turns it and you to face the counter. somehow luke just knows that him staying in your line of sight is a comfort to you, proof that he’s right there. he doesn’t want you to have to strain your neck in order to feel safe.

his silence as he fills and turns on the kettle, then sits back down beside you to wait for it to boil is a comfort too. it makes a difference that he’s not making you explain anything.

with him, the passage of time isn’t so horrible, and it’s easy to wait for the tea to be ready. when he sets the mug down in front of you, he tells you to be careful since it’s hot, even though you already know it. that’s when you make the decision that you will tell him what’s kept you holed up in your apartment for three days straight, what made you cry into his arms and skip work today.

it takes you four minutes of failed attempts to open your mouth and force a sound out of your throat before you finally get any words out. four minutes of sipping tea and thinking about how to start or how grateful you are that he’s here.

first comes a big, deep breath and another long moment of quiet. and then you realize you can’t just get into you, so you do your best and start by skirting around the actual problem.

“i know this job–” you have to clear your throat, “i know this job is really hard.” that sentence is kind of stupid purely because of how obvious it is, but you’ve at least started to tell him what this is all about. “and we’ve all learned ways to cope with that. i just– the way that, uh,” you pause to try and collect yourself a bit, but it does nothing to keep your voice from getting quiet, “the way that this last case ended? it, um, it…” suddenly you’re unsure what to even say. luke places his hand over your own, easing its shaking. you take another deep breath.”i can’t– i can’t get it out of my head. i can’t get her dead body out of my head and i can’t shake the feeling that it’s my fault.” 

he’s about to say something, assure you that it absolutely was not your fault, but then everything comes tumbling out.

“i know, logically, technically, that it’s not. i know that, i’ve rationalized this whole thing in my head, even out loud, over and over and over again for the past three days. i know, we didn’t profile him to be so paranoid. i played into his narcissism like i was supposed to, like anyone of us would have, but fuck! it was still my words that set him off, the shit i said got a bullet through her brain.” he squeezes your hand in support. “and when i wake up from the nightmares, i can still hear her whimpers as he held her at gunpoint, even worse, arguably, is her mom begging me to bring her home alive that same morning. you know what i told her? that we were doing everything we could to find her and bring her back, i promised.” the tears start up again. “i told her not to give up hope because the people i work with are incredibly good at their jobs. then i see her sobbing in the corner of the police station after rossi told her that her daughter was fucking dead. and you know what i fucking did? i put my head down and walked in the opposite direction with the excuse that reid could use some help taking down the evidence board.” 

your voice gets even shakier and the furrow in his worried brow deepens as you continue talking. “and i’m so ashamed, i’m so fucking ashamed, luke. i got her daughter killed and i couldn’t even tell her that–” a sob cuts you off, “that i’m sorry,” you cry. “i couldn’t face her. i couldn’t bear to see her crying about it or try and comfort her about it because i was too goddamn guilty to even look her in the eye. and now i see her and her dead daughter everytime i close my eyes.”

the silence after that is colossally heavy. to hear his softest voice calling your name as you stare into your half empty mug is enough to send more tears rushing down your cheeks. he sounds so heartbroken for you, like even he’s choked up by hearing your longwinded confession.

the way he moves is both careful and purposeful as he stands and urges you back into his embrace. this time your crying is quiet, just tears without sobs because you don’t have that left in you. it’s more short lived because it seems like your body’s finally run out of tears to give too. with one side of your face pressed against his shirt and his hands holding you there, it does feel a bit easier to breathe.

when he starts to talk, his voice is as soft as it has been all night. “i don’t want to tell you to just not feel ashamed or guilty. i wish you wouldn’t have to feel that way, really. but i want you to know that i understand. i don’t want to invalidate those things because they are real and they hurt and i understand why you’re feeling them. but it is not your fault. not for one second is it your fault. i’m sure you’ve reminded yourself this already, but we can never forget that it is only ever the fault of the people who pull the trigger on innocent lives.” 

you nod because he’s right, you’ve told yourself that many times. but you realize it makes a difference to hear these things out of his mouth, not just from your mind that was only desperate to ease your guilt. you suppose that’s what he wants too, but it’s somehow better.

he pulls away from you, and positions the chairs so that you’re sitting knee to knee as he holds both of your hands in his. he looks you in the eye as he speaks, every ounce of sincerity visible in his face and easy to hear in his voice.

“and we just can’t be perfect, we can’t be expected to be everything for everyone every time. dealing with family members who have lost their loved ones is one of, if not the, hardest thing that we have to do for this job. rossi was there for her this time, and it’s okay if it was too hard for you. what you did is completely understandable and completely okay. throughout this whole case, you followed procedure and you followed the profile. we all did. so if any of us stood where you did, with the mother and with the unsub, the same exact same thing could have happened. would you blame me for it if i were in your place?” he gently wipes a stray tear from your cheek. 

slowly, with his hand still cupping your face, you shake your head. “and would you forgive me for it?” it takes you a long moment of holding back more cries to answer, silently and slowly again. up and down, just once, you nod your head.

“there’s your answer. you’re allowed to not blame yourself and you’re allowed to forgive yourself. you are allowed to feel okay because we can’t fix this world, but we are making it better and we certainly deserve our own happiness. there will always be people who die and the people they leave behind. we just have to keep going because we are still saving lives. even more, our lives deserve to be protected as much as anyone else’s. we do that by allowing ourselves happiness, a life outside of all of the pain and gore and monsters of the world we work in. i’m sorry, and the things i say can’t make this all just go away. but i’m here for you and i think that being reminded of these things is a must for all of us. today’s one of those days where you deserve to be reminded.”

you don’t even think you could really cry again, even if you wanted to, but you certainly feel like it. only this time, it’s out of relief. your guilty conscience still tries to fight with his words, but the part of you that knows he’s right is holding onto his comfort with all it’s got and it’s making you want to burst into tears again. being reminded of your right to let it go is something you’ve needed, not just for this case, but for months. you didn’t even realize, but you’ve holding onto little things here and there and letting it build up until it all blew up in your face last friday night. so to let that all out and feel comforted is a relief far stronger than anything you’ve felt before.

“thank you.” your voice is back at a whisper, but you hope he can hear how much you mean it. you think he does when he smiles.

“of course. you’ll always have me, and you have everyone else on the team too, you know that.”

you nod and do your best to smile back. “thank you,” you repeat. you don’t even know what else to say. “and um, i’m always here for you too, luke. you know, just when i’m not a complete hot mess.” the lighter tone in your voice as you attempt a joke is luke’s relief, the relief that you’re on the way to feeling better.

“thanks,” he chuckles lightly. the sound makes you glad.

“hey luke?”

“yeah?” he replied in earnest, eager to give.

“can we order some thai food and watch movies until we fall asleep on the couch?”

that really makes him happy, and he grins like he always does to show it. “you know it.” so, he buys you food and tells you to pick all the movies. he lets you lean on him when you get tired, then carries you to bed and tucks you in when you fall asleep halfway through the first film. he stalls in your room by fixing the hair the falls onto your face and pressing a light kiss to your forehead. then he leaves the door cracked, just in case, and takes a while to fall asleep on your couch after putting the leftovers in the fridge. he cries a little, because he hates that it’s so hard for you, and it’s hard for him too. 

at the end of the day though, he’s just glad you’ll be okay.

#luke alvez #luke alvez x reader #luke alvez requests #criminal minds #luke alvez hurt/comfort #criminal minds evolution #criminal minds requests #criminal minds blurb #criminal minds angst #luke alvez angst #criminal minds scenarios #criminal minds hurt/comfort #criminal minds luke alvez #luke alvez fanfiction #luke alvez imagine #luke alvez fic #luke alvez criminal minds #luke alvez fluff #criminal minds fluff #luke alvez x reader imagine #luke alvez x reader fic

[to-thelakes]

Luke confessing his love for reader during a screaming match/fight after confronting an unsub went wrong and reader being confused as to why he's telling them that now

faltered

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

summary; after you put yourself at risk, once again, luke finally snaps but the argument doesn't go in the way you expect.

warnings; fluff, angst, love-confession, happy ending, not proof-read

notes; is this proof-read? hell nah, is it good? honestly, anyone's guess, i am so so so so so bad at writing characters being angry because i just... honestly forgive people WAY too easy and i can't stay mad at people for long. i can probably count on one hand the amount of times i've actually been mad so this was a little experiment for me. and honestly, this little request/ask/whatever had me inspired and i wrote the dialogue last night and then finished it today so here is my little drabble/1.3k word one-shot about this scenario

“What the hell were you thinking!” Luke raged as he closed the hotel door behind him. You clenched your jaw, turning back to glare at him. You couldn’t believe this.

“I saved her life!” You snapped back as you looked up at him. He scoffed, throwing his hand up to gesture at your wound.

“Look at your face! You put yourself in the line of fire unnecessarily,” He argued back. You stared at him, in complete disbelief.

“I did what I thought was right,” You said, voice still loud but not quite shouting at him this time. You could feel the rage bubbling and you felt guilty enough that you didn’t need Luke shouting at you like your cheek hadn’t been slashed open.

“You knew that wasn’t the right call,” He responded, crossing his arms over his chest. You turned around briefly but his words stopped you in your step. You turned to face him.

“I had to do something!” You raged, anger jumping back to the surface within seconds.

“And letting the Unsub get you was the way of doing that, huh?” He questioned, venom lacing his tone. He couldn’t believe you had been so reckless and you didn’t understand why Luke cared so much.

“Yeah! I needed her to get away and if that meant I got hurt, oh well because she’s alive!” You argued, throwing your arm out as you spoke. Luke shook his head, disbelieving.

“No, we had a plan. You put that plan in jeopardy!” His voice raised at the last word, anger morphing his features. It would have bothered you if you weren’t equally as fired up, “If JJ hadn’t been there, you’d both be dead!”

“JJ was there, Luke. So, don’t give me this shit!” You shouted back before you turned around and grabbed your to-go bag. You wanted to get back to the team. You weren’t even sure why you let Luke come with you. Maybe you thought he’d be a comfort but he wasn’t. Of course, he wasn’t. You should have known.

“And what if she hadn’t been, huh?” He asked, voice levelling out as he stepped towards you. His arms still crossed over his chest.

“It doesn’t matter,” You retorted as you glanced over your shoulder. You were stuffing your clothes into the bag haphazardly, hoping that you could just leave this alone. But Luke wasn’t willing to give up it seemed.

“Yes, it does!” He practically shouted and you threw your last piece of clothing into the bag before you whirled on him.

“Why! Why does it matter so fucking much?” You were at your wit’s end with him. You were in pain, you were upset and you didn’t need this, “I’m alive, I’m here, I’m part of the team still! Prentiss isn’t mad at me so what gives you the right!” You were shouting again, rage bubbling over as you stepped towards him. You met his gaze defiantly.

“Because I love you!” He shouted back and you fell silent. Luke’s face suddenly morphed from anger to regret and he stepped back. You just stared, the silence permeating between the two of you. You didn’t know what to say. You were speechless and you just stared. 

“What?” You asked softly. All the anger had flooded out of you like the plug pulled out of sink and all that was left in its wake was confusion.

“You put yourself in the line of fire, again,” He tried to swerve away from his confession, ignore it. He tried to go back to what the argument had been about but you cut him off;

“Luke,” You tried to say something but you words seemed to falter. He looked at you for a moment and you opened your mouth before you frowned, “What do-?” You wrapped your arm around yourself, stepping back from him.

“You-” Luke faltered for a moment before he tried to inject the anger into his tone, “That is the second time you’ve put yourself in the line of fire. You can’t-” But the anger seemed to falter again. You were looking at him with an expression he couldn’t read and his words hung heavy on his tongue. Your mind was whirring with thoughts and you were trying to pick them apart, make sense of something.

“Why would you say that now?” You asked. He had never heard your tone so soft and guilt reared its ugly head in his chest. But also, that familiar sting of rejection began to creep in.

“What? What do you mean?” He replied, frowning down at you. You sighed raggedly.

“You can’t just throw around a confession like that,” You mumbled. Luke stepped back again, his face fell and you wrapped your arms tighter around yourself. You didn’t know what to think. You had loved Luke for so long. That’s why you had trusted him to come with you to the room but this, this was unfair.

“I wasn’t trying to-” But you cut him off with a soft; “I know.” Realistically, you did know that he wasn’t trying to use it as a guilt trip but it still felt so cruel. Why couldn’t he have said it some other time? Why now?

“I don’t understand why you’re so reckless,” He said after a beat of silence. You scoffed.

“It’s not recklessness, it’s a calculated decision,” You responded, wanting to shut this argument down before it even started again. Your anger wasn’t clouding your thoughts anymore so you thought you might as well explain it to him, “I knew JJ was behind me. I knew she’d be able to catch him. We had the profile wrong and I realised that. I didn’t have a choice. He was about to kill her.” Your gut twisted as you held yourself tighter. The sting of the knife against your cheek was still so fresh to you. You were lucky.

“And you got hurt,” He responded. You shrugged.

“But we’re both alive and I’m not gonna apologise for doing what I thought was right.” You said simply. He nodded and he stepped towards you. It felt hard to swallow as you stared down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze.

“I don’t expect you to,” His words were a simple reassurance but it made you feel a little lighter. You sent him an awkward half-smile, mumbling;

“Good.” There was silence for a few beats before you took a deep breath. You just had to say it, “But for what it’s worth, I think I love you too.” It was Luke’s turn to be silent this time and he stepped towards you. There was quiet for a moment and you chanced a look up at him. The frown had been replaced with a cheeky smile and you rolled your eyes at him, turning to look away.

“Huh,” He let out, the smile turning into a smirk as he stepped towards you. He wrapped his arms around your waist tugging you closer and you let him. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you looked up at him. 

You knew what he intended to do and you were quick to put your finger against his lips, stopping him from leaning any further, “Don’t even think about it, Alvez. Take me on a date first,” You stated. A grin began to spread across your face and you wished you could stop it but you couldn’t.

“Then let’s go out tonight,” He suggested. You hummed in thought before you nodded and pulled him against you.

“Okay,” You said. He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as he pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly, “As long as you kiss me goodnight,” You whispered against his skin. He chuckled and nodded his head against your hair.

“I can do that.”

<3

#luke alvez x reader #luke alvez #luke alvez x you #luke alvez angst #luke alvez x reader angst #luke alvez fluff #luke alvez x reader fluff #reader-insert

[fortheloveofwonderland]

A War of the Heart - Chapter One | Luke Alvez x Fem! Reader

Next Chapter

Chapter Summary - Thirteen years ago, somewhere between the rolling desert and the trenches, you fell in love with your superior officer. Now he’s being introduced as the newest member of your team and feelings from the past are sure join him.

Category - heavy angst | smut | eventual happy ending

Content Warnings - talk of war time, superior / subordinate relationship, age gap (not a big one though), build up to smut, making out, some Spencer x Reader, mostly just set up.

Word Count - 3.7k

Chapter One

2010 - Diyala, Northeast Baghdad 

The big thing they don’t tell you about serving overseas in the military is that a lot of the time, it was actually surprisingly normal. Sure, you’d spent time fighting in the trenches and on the frontline, but on the whole, army life was so much more ordinary than you’d expected. 

A lot of your days were spent sweeping roads for bombs, or patrolling neighbourhoods, sometimes even visiting police and defence forces. Sometimes they were spent at the practice range or even in the little, but always busy, office building on your compound. Evenings entailed eating with your fellow rangers, sometimes playing a game of soccer in the dusty Earth out front. It had surprised you at first, but after all your years of active duty, you would relish in the mundane moments, knowing they never lasted all that long. 

You’d been just twenty years old when you’d made the decision to sign up to the 75th Rangers Regiment. You’d always been a little wayward, never having much focus or a dream of where you saw your life going. Joining the army was a whim if you were perfectly honest, but now you’d been doing it for some four years, you couldn’t imagine yourself doing anything else. 

Basic training had been anything but easy, between the rigorous physical training, combat skills, and weaponry training, you’d sometimes wondered what the hell you’d gotten yourself in for. It was the most difficult thing you’d ever put yourself through, but the sense of pride you felt after making it through those ten weeks was like nothing you’d ever felt before. 

The army was probably the first place you ever felt you belonged. It challenged you every single day but you adored it with all of your heart. You’d made friends, some more akin to family. Non-military personnel didn’t understand what active duty was like, not the way a fellow soldier did, so you knew no one else outside of the army would ever get you the way they did. The army was your home, the rangers were your kin. 

The small shower in your containerised housing unit hummed as it spat luke-warm water out of its faucet. The pressure wasn’t terrible, and the lack of hot water was often a godsend when you spent your day in the blistering desert heat in full fatigues. You let it roll over your skin, caressing you with its beads. You stayed under the flow maybe a little longer than was necessary, enjoying the privacy the private bathroom allowed you. 

The housing on camp was admittedly better than some you’d lived in. Each soldier inhabited half of one of the prefabricated containers, separated from the other half by a large burlap curtain which offered some solitude even if they weren’t at all soundproof. You’d adorned your walls with a few posters, you had a little stereo system set up. It wasn’t like being at home, but it wasn’t half-bad. 

You finally forced yourself to shut off the shower and stepped out onto the tiled floor, grabbing up your towel from the rack. Wrapping it around your body, you padded out from behind the curtain that divided the bathroom from the rest of the room. 

A set of eyes stared at you from where he sat on the edge of your cot but you weren’t startled to see him. You mentally cursed yourself for not hearing him come in but you weren’t shocked by the intrusion. 

He pushed himself to his feet when you entered the room, still in his cargo pants and tight fitting t-shirt that had probably been white when he donned it that morning. His bearded face was covered in smudges of dirt still, as were his strong bare arms. 

“Sarg,” you wrapped your arms around your body, still dripping wet from your shower. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

“It’s been a hectic few weeks.” He spoke in that slightly rugged, New York drawl of his. 

“It has.” You agreed as he took a few steps closer to you. “You look like hell, sergeant.” Your lip twitched at the corner into a smirk, knowing you’d never get away with talking to another sergeant the way you did him. 

He chuckled that deep, wall shaking laugh of his, rubbing his hand over his messy facial hair. 

“I feel like hell.” He countered, coming to a stop right in front of you. “But I can think of a few things that would perk me up.” 

When his large, calloused hands raised up and clamped down on your bare shoulders, a shudder passed up your spine the way it always did when he touched you. 

“But what about…” you nodded your head towards the flimsy burlap excuse of a wall. 

“Don’t worry about Reynolds, he owed me one. I told him to go and keep himself busy for an hour.” 

“You need a whole hour, huh?” Your smirk grew as he moved dangerously closer to you. He smelt like sweat and dirt and it was intoxicating. 

“It’s been three weeks, Y/L/N.” He hissed, pressing his body flush against yours while his hands started down your biceps, barely ghosting your skin. 

You clamped your legs together, feeling a heat spreading between them. 

“My point exactly. You’d think after all that time you’d only need a few minutes.” You teased him.

Another thing they didn’t tell you about was that the intrinsic need for human connection didn’t go away just because you were serving overseas in the military. If anything, it was heightened, the need to feel close to someone was multiplied to the Nth degree under such harrowing circumstances. And you’d found that in the arms of someone who was technically your boss, most certainly your superior. 

He was six years your senior with much more military experience under his belt. You’d met on your first day of deployment on this tour and from the moment he shook your hand, you’d felt the heat between you. It had taken less than two weeks for that heat to boil over. The first time he’d kissed you, you’d pushed him away out of instinct mostly due to the fact he was a sergeant and you were a private. 

“We can’t do this. You’re my boss.” 

But he hadn’t been deterred, he simply chuckled, a sound that would never not make you weak at the knees and kissed you again. 

“You find me attractive?”

“Yes.”

“If I wasn't your superior, would you want me to kiss you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then let’s take rank off of the table, Y/L/N.” 

Honestly that was all he’d had to say for you to allow him to take you to bed and it hadn’t been the last time. It had been some nine months now and you couldn’t say no to him if you tried. 

One of his hands took purchase now on your waist, nails digging into the tawny fabric of your towel. His other travelled back up your arm and came to a stop on the item around your neck. It was a light, silver chain with a thin silver diamond encrusted antique ring hanging from it. He let his fingers brush over the pendant briefly before he suddenly cupped your jaw. 

He held you in a way that was firm, not rough enough to hurt, but enough that told you, in no uncertain terms, that you belonged to him. As if you didn’t already know that. It forced you to look into his deep, dark eyes which had a habit of making you melt. He was gorgeous and he knew it. He could probably have any woman here but for some reason he’d chosen you. 

His breath fanned across your face as he edged closer but he didn’t kiss you. His lips barely brushed over your own, causing an involuntary whimper to leave your throat. It made him laugh, he loved teasing you to the point you were a goddamn puddle in front of him. By day you were a strong, fierce army private, but in his presence you were a blithering mess, sometimes quite literally begging for him. 

His lips moved across your cheek but didn’t quite touch your skin and then ghosted over the shell of your ear. His hand fell from your face to your chest where your towel was secured. With one flick of his wrist, the towel came undone and you let it drop to the floor, pooling at your feet. 

He moved his head back a little, eyes casting down over your body that he’d long ago memorised every curve of. When he moved back closer to you, his lips once again brushed against yours, another pathetic whimper leaving your mouth. 

He still didn’t kiss you as he brought his hands to your hips and gripped them securely, tugging you even closer so you could feel his growing erection through his pants. 

“I’ve missed you.” He mumbled, his gentle tone a stark contrast to the way he held you. 

You raised your arms and wrapped them around his neck. 

“I missed you too, Sarg.” 

He used his grip on your hips to drag you towards your bed where he pushed you back to the slightly hard mattress. You stared at him through hooded eyes and he smirked down on you while quickly dragging his t-shirt up his torso, over his head and tossing it somewhere behind him. 

Small beads of sweat rolled down his hard abs, more dirt smeared across his defined chest. He was a work of art, there was no other way to describe him. It was as though he was sculpted, moulded into the perfect human form. His lip quirked into another smirk as he watched the way you looked him up and down. 

“Like what you see, huh?” He chuckled, unbuttoning his cargos and slipping them over his ass and hips before letting them fall down his legs and stepping out of them. 

“More so every time I see it.” You told him truthfully. 

He laughed again but you knew by the look in his eyes that he could see right through you. Keeping his boxers on for the time being he finally climbed into your cot on top of you. He stroked your wet hair back off of your face and for a moment the lust in his eyes was replaced by something else. 

“When do you leave?” He whispered, a knowing look in his eyes.

It was possible he could have heard on the grapevine, but you knew better. You found he often knew you better than you knew yourself. You’d clearly given it away in something you’d done or said. He was very apt at reading you. 

A helicopter buzzed overhead, the walls rattling a little as it did so. You both ignored it, focused only on each other. 

“How did you know?” You decided to ask to buy yourself more time. 

“You’re never so nice to me,” he smiled a little sadly. “Normally if I asked you something like that you’d call me big headed or cocky. You’ve never once complimented me like that. So when do you leave?” 

He was too astute for his own good, so much smarter than people gave him credit for. 

“Five weeks. I’m being reassigned.” 

“Where?”

“Afghanistan.” 

You felt his chest heave with a sigh from his position on top of you and his eyes conveyed his sadness. But as quickly as it appeared it seemed to vanish again and he forced himself to smile. 

“Well then,” he inched closer to you. “I guess we better make the most of the time we have left.” 

He took hold of your face once again and butterflies erupted in your stomach as he got closer and closer, desperate for him to plant one on you. 

The explosion of longing and need that coursed through your body was like no other feeling in the world when eventually he crushed his lips against yours and you finally got to kiss this magnetic man  again. Even if it would all come to end sooner than the two of you planned. War always had taught you to live for the moment. 

***

Present - Quantico, Virginia

The kiss was almost bruising in its force, something that was so unlike him. Usually he was much softer, careful as though you were made of glass and could break you if he were too rough. But after nearly a month away from each other his desperate need for you showed in that one kiss. 

“Whoa there, at least try to keep it PG-13, remember where we are.” You laughed against his lips and he whined in response. 

“It’s been almost a month.” He held your face in his hands, deepening the kiss. 

“I’m aware,” you guided him gently back before he could get too carried away. “But we are at work.” 

“Just let me kiss you,” he chuckled, stroking your cheek. “No one else is even here.” 

He wasn’t wrong, the sixth floor office was empty at this time of the morning and you had missed him like crazy this past month. So when he leant back in to kiss you again, you didn’t stop him. 

You’d both taken some much needed time off from the BAU, but your separate vacations had overlapped. He’d gone to Paris with his mom and gotten back a few days ago, while you’d gone to California a week after he’d left to visit some old college friends and today was your first day back at work. 

When you joined the BAU two years ago, the last thing you’d been looking for was a relationship, least of all one with Doctor Spencer Reid. He was adorable and charming and certainly easy on the eyes but he was not your usual type. If you asked your friends what your type was they would give you one word: himbo. Brawn over brains was your typical cup of tea and Spencer couldn’t be further from that. 

It was safe to say he’d worn you down over the course of the last few years. He’d made it clear he was interested in you and asked you out several times before finally, six months ago you decided to give him a chance. So far your usual type hadn’t worked out so well for you, what was the harm in letting Spencer take you for dinner? 

The dinner had ended back at your place where the nerdy genius had more than surprised you with his skills in the bedroom. By the end of the night he’d rendered you delirious and from then on you hadn’t been able to stay away from him. 

You’d tried to keep it a secret from the team but of course they were profiliers and it was only a matter of weeks before the whole team knew you were dating. It was easier that way, it meant at least if someone were to catch you right now as Spencer’s tongue slid back into your mouth and he pushed you up against the wall in the kitchen, it wouldn't be a complete shock to them. 

“You’ve told me absolutely nothing about the new guy or about your trip.” You mumbled against his lips. 

“Paris was great, and on the flight home mom managed to walk me through the whole thing unprompted.” He moved his lips to your cheek, pressing kisses against your skin. “And the new guy seems nice, he’s a great man hunter. Not sure what his profiling skills are like yet.” 

His lips found their way back to yours again, silencing you once more. You let yourself succumb to him then, realising just how much you’d missed him. But it was entirely short lived as soon you were being sprung apart by the sound of someone clearing their throat. 

Spencer pulled back from you, glancing at the entrance of the kitchen where your audience stood, smirks on their faces. 

“Welcome back Y/N.” Tara laughed at the blush spreading across your cheeks. 

“I see boy wonder has already rolled out the welcome wagon.” Garcia raised her eyebrows suggestively. 

“It’s been nearly a month.” Spencer straightened out his tie.

“I hope for both of your sakes we get out of here early tonight then.” Tara teased. 

Spencer pulled a face like he was actually imagining the things he couldn’t wait to do to you and his frustration that he had to work all day first was evident. 

“With escaped convicts still on the run, I doubt that but thanks anyway.” You smiled at Tara. “So someone needs to fill me in on this guy. Spence has told me next to nothing.” 

“Urgh, must we talk about Newbie?” Garcia rolled her eyes behind her thick framed, lime green glasses. 

“You don’t like him?” You asked but you looked between Tara and Spencer for answers. 

“He’s not Morgan I guess.” Spencer shrugged. 

“He most certainly is not!” Garcia huffed. “Mister tall, dark and blandsome thinks he’s all that.”

“He’s in the conference room with the others, come and meet him and decide for yourself. Don’t take Garcia’s word.” Tara motioned for you to follow her. “He’s an ex-military like you, you might find you have stuff in common.” 

“Oh god, I thought I was done with army meatheads a long time ago.” You sighed as the four of you fell into step towards the round table room. 

“Wasn’t he in the 75th?” Spencer frowned as he made the connection in his head. “You were in the 75th too right, Y/N?” 

“It’s a big regiment, the chances of me knowing him are very…” you stepped into the room, eyes brushing past the others and landing straight on him. 

Somewhere in the back of your mind you could hear the hum of a helicopter, feel the heat of the sun bearing down on you. The air felt thick and heavy like it did back in the Iraqi desert all those years ago. If you focused hard enough you could even feel the dust and sand clinging to your skin.  

It couldn’t possibly be, but somehow it was. There he was in front of you, Sergeant Luke Alvez of the 75th Rangers Regiment, only older with much less facial hair. His caramel skin was less sunkissed and dirty than you remembered, his hair shorter and well tamed. He was still just as muscular as you remembered him to be. His tight grey t-shirt hugged his biceps and stretched across his strong chest. 

He stepped forward, those eyes that always had a way of turning you to jelly never leaving you. His lip started to quip into a smile as he got closer to you but you couldn’t do anything but stare. Your heart hammered wildly against your chest, you were never supposed to see him again. 

“Sergeant Alvez?” You croaked out, easily falling back into your army days, straightening your back and stopping just shy of saluting him. 

Luke chuckled with a shake of his head, fishing in his back pocket for the new credentials Hotch had just bestowed upon him that morning. 

“Actually it’s SSA Alvez now. As of an hour ago.” He smiled brightly at you. “It’s been a long time, Y/L/N.” 

“Big regiment huh?” You heard Tara behind you. 

“You two know each other?” Spencer frowned between the two of you. 

“We did a tour of Iraq together, before I was reassigned to Afghanistan.” You spoke to Spencer but didn’t take your eyes off of Luke. 

“I was her boss.” Luke’s eyes sparkled in a way you’d seen many times before but not for a very long time. It was the way he always looked right before he kissed you. “But we were-“

“Friends. We were good friends.” You cut him off before he had a chance to finish that sentence. 

You turned away from him, just catching the smirk he sent your way as you did. You felt your cheeks burning a hundred shades of red. 

“You can catch up later,” Hotch thankfully spoke up. “We’ve got a case.” 

One day you’d have to thank Hotch for his perfect timing. For now you fell down into a chair next to Spencer and tried to ignore the looks Luke was sending your way while Garcia delivered the case details. 

Luke Alvez. Luke fucking Alvez. Of all the jobs in all the world, he had to encroach on yours. 

You had absolutely no doubt in your mind that things were going to get messy. 

***

The case took the team to Los Angeles where two teenagers had been burnt to death in an abandoned building. It took its toll on JJ more so than anyone who always had a habit of getting a little too close to cases involving kids. 

But JJ would be the least of your concerns. Even on the jet out to California you felt Luke’s eyes on you even when someone else was speaking. You tried to ignore it but he made that really difficult to do. And if you noticed it, it probably meant everyone else had as well, you couldn’t hide things from profilers. 

Once the case talk was over, conversation had inevitably turned to you and Luke’s past. You hadn’t even touched down in LA and you already wanted off of this case. 

“How long did you serve together?” It was Spencer who asked the question, and you didn’t miss the suspicion in your boyfriend's tone. 

“Uh, what was it Y/L/N? Like nine months?” Luke’s lip was twitching into a smirk. 

“Something like that.” You agreed, focusing out of the window. 

“How long ago?” JJ joined in the line of questioning. 

“It was two thousand ten. So almost thirteen years.” Luke finally looked away from you at JJ. 

“And that was the last time you saw each other?” It was Rossi’s turn to ask.

If anyone noticed your back go rigid thankfully no one mentioned it. You turned away from the window at the same time Luke looked back at you. A silent understanding passed between the two of you, somehow even after all the time you were still so in sync. 

“Yes.” You spoke simultaneously. 

After that the line of questioning seemed to end and you all fell into companionable silence. But you kept feeling Luke’s gaze lingering on you. 

#luke alvez #luke alvez x reader #luke alvez x fem!reader #luke alvez fanfic #luke alvez fanfiction #luke alvez smut #luke alvez angst #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

[theoreticslut]

「 faux flirtations? 」

luke alvez x fem reader

summary: undercover works leaves you wondering if luke is simply really good at playing a role, or if his “role” is him being honest.

requested: yes

word count: 0.7k

warnings: brief mentions of death & car accidents, slight pining

a/n: i loved this dialogue prompt - “you look so beautiful” - so much! & with luke?? ugh, it was so cute. i hope your guys like it! Xx

It’s not often that you and the team have to do undercover work, but you can’t catch this particular unsub without luring him. Each of his victims have been single women in their mid to late twenties who he deems as a tease, simply for the fact that they’re unaware of a male friend’s affections for them.

As it goes, this unsub was the unfortunate male friend of a woman who never realized he liked her. She had gone off and got married to someone else before both her and her new husband died in a motor vehicle accident.

It’s understandable for him to be upset and angry, but the unsub decided the best way to handle his rage was to take it out on other similar women, killing them after delivering them an anonymous “love note.”

Of course you were the only one who fit the unsub’s type out of everyone on the team, so you were currently getting ready to go out to a club with Luke as your male companion.

You weren’t thrilled about the situation, having been crushing on Luke for a while now. The thought of him having to flirt with you while you pretended to be clueless bothered you. Not because you had to pretend to be clueless, but because he had to pretend to flirt with you. You wish he’d flirt with you for real, but he’s only ever been friendly towards you.

Regardless, you had to hide away your emotions for the night in favour of fake cluelessness if you wanted this to work. You needed it to work to catch this guy, so you take a deep breath and continue getting yourself ready.

~.~

Walking into the club, earpiece in and hidden, you pretend to scope out the place before you smile at seeing Luke over by the bar.

He had come into the club about an hour before you, mainly to stake out the place and make sure the unsub was here. However, it was also supposed to look like he had been waiting for you to show up specifically, and not like it was just a coincidence that you’re running into each other.

“Hey, Luke! Sorry I’m late. I got held up at work a bit longer than expected.” You start in on your role, smiling easily as you take a seat next to him.

You’re supposed to just be meeting a friend for the night. There shouldn’t be any need to be nervous.

“Oh, no worries, y/n. Seriously, I get it.” He smiles, but you can tell it’s fake.

It’s odd because you’ve seen him “act” around suspects before during interrogations, and he’s never once had an issue pretending to play a role. Something is on his mind, and for a moment you forget your role as you ask him about it for real.

“What’s on your mind? You seem distracted?”

Your question apparently brings him back because as you look at him with a slight furrow to your brow, he sends you a genuine smile - or at least it feels genuine.

“Nothing, you just…you look so beautiful.” He blushes, chuckling lightly as he shakes his head.

You’re taken aback for a moment as you try to decipher if this is him pretend flirting with you already, or if this is real. He couldn’t actually be complimenting you right now?

This shouldn’t be what you’re thinking about. You have to remember that you’re supposed to be clueless to his affections, whether they’re real or not right now.

Realizing this you chuckle lightly yourself, a shy smile on your lips as you thank him. He nods, letting out a sigh as he offers to get you a drink, which you accept of course.

Tonight was going to be harder than you thought if your heartbeat falters every time he flirts with you. You’ve just got to be convincing enough for the unsub to notice you, and to send you your own love letter where the team can then catch him when he comes to follow up on it.

You just needed to be convincing enough so you could close the case, and then you could work out your feelings for Luke when you aren’t being used as bait for an unsub.

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#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #cm fanfic #criminal minds angst #cm angst #criminal minds fluff #cm fluff #luke alvez #luke alvez fanfic #luke alvez x reader #luke alvez angst #luke alvez fluff #theoreticslut's 3k celebration

[phantompoguefangirl]

GREEN LIGHT-SPENCER REID

'Love compels cruelty To those who do not understand love.'

'I learn a great deal by merely observing you, and letting you talk as long as you please, and taking note of what you do not say.'

'In my end is my beginning.'

T.S. Eliot

A/N: Based on the episodes Green Light and Red light and basically that whole section of Season 12. Fluff and ANGST. This is also on my wattpad SerpentBeauty1710 and will be on my AO3, MayaGillespieReid

**********************************

Y/N POV:

Nothing could have prepared me for any of this.

Not for the way my soul left my body when the words "Spencer is in jail in Mexico" came out of Emily's horrified mouth.

Not for the anxiety being stuck home waiting for answers when half the team went down to get him.

Not for the relief and yet underlying tornado of emotions when the beautiful, kind and innocent boy wonder, the love of my life, my sweet Spencer...walked into the BAU in handcuffs.

The frustration when my short legs and rapidly expanding belly wouldn't let me get to him faster. The pain when he couldn't hug me back, then the love and desperation I felt him return by nuzzling his face into my neck as best he could while his bound hands caressed my bump. The soft but urgent warmth of his lips as I reached up to kiss him. The brief touch of his forehead to mine and the whispered reassurances right before Emily led him back to the elevator.

The way I broke down sobbing when the judge denied bail.

And the agony of waiting, of knowing he was so close to home and not being able to hold him or keep him safe. And on top of that, the stress of not knowing if he would get out in time, if at all...

The team did their best to support me through it and took turns helping with Diana when they could, along with the caregiver Spencer and I had hired for her. We had decided to move into a house with a mother in law suite for Diana when Spencer brought her to live with us in DC. We'd agreed Diana would do better with her own space and it ended up being a really good thing we moved. The team helped me finish settling in. Garcia was all over decorating, Emily JJ  and Tara helped me organize everything, Derek and our new agent Luke handled any repairs and/or replacements that needed done and Rossi brought his delicious food regularly. Hotch had very recently gone into in witsec with Jack, but I knew he'd be here helping too if he could.

I smiled appreciatively at the thought of our friends as I struggled to roll out of bed and padded to the kitchen for breakfast. I was grabbing a croissant from the container when I felt a small pinch in my neck and everything went dark.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in what seemed to be a trunk. I was going to kick a tail light out or or scream or something but my hands and feet were tied up and there was duct tape over my mouth. It was cold, much more so probably due to the fact that I was only in a tank top and pajama shorts.

I didn't recognize my captors' voices but I tried to listen to the youngish girl and older man when they spoke. They mostly talked in low tones so it was difficult, but I heard them whisper Diana's name and something about the caregiver which caused my heart and stomach to constrict in terror. I wanted to scream at them to tell me where my mother in law was, but I knew it would probably do no good and I still had the tape on my mouth anyway.

What felt like days(but was probably only hours) passed and the only respite I had was when the man moved me to a different trunk and removed the tape before holding the phone to my ear. I recognized the phone number on the screen.

"Spencer?" I whimpered, shifting umcomfortably as the man held on to the ropes around me.

"Y/N, are you okay?!" He cried out desperately.

"Yeah we're okay, I think," I answered softly. "But Spencer, they have Mom. I don't know where, she's not with me but-"

The man shoved the tape back over my mouth and closed the trunk. I thought I heard Diana's scared voice right before he took the phone away, which was odd. I did hear a gunshot right outside a second later though, followed by a loud explosion, before the vehicle I was in roared to life and was suddenly in motion.

I tried to mentally document all of my surroundings, while simultaneously looking around for something to cut my bindings with, in order to keep myself from panicking. However, every so often the tightening feeling would return and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Spencer's soft voice in my mind reassured me and reminded me how amazing our team is, which helped to soothe me a little. That led me to distract myself with thoughts of my wonderful husband. Of every little thing about him that I was so in love with. Things like his ridiculously cute laugh, our shared fascination with books and learning, the way he loved so deeply with his entire heart, his gentle kindness, his relentless determination, etc. One of my favorite things was the expression on his face whenever he concentrated hard on anything or whenever he was deep in thought. The way his brow furrowed while he rested his chin on his folded hand, every so often running his thumb or knuckle across his bottom lip or sometimes against his chin. I'd never seen him do this so intensely until the day he figured out this special puzzle box I'd had made for him.

*FLASHBACK*

It took me a bit to think of a good way to tell him the news. I didn't want to just say the words or show him the test or something simple. I wanted it to be as special as he was to me. It was a conversation we'd had about Sherlock Holmes that finally gave me the idea. I created a little scavenger hunt for him, the last clue of which was a puzzle box for him to solve. He loved puzzles and riddles. The answer to open the box was a phrase that he would have to guess.

He figured out the clues to the hunt much faster than expected, but the puzzle box actually took him quite a while to figure out. He got so determined to crack it that he brought it to work, unbeknownst to me. I was shocked when I walked into the round table room(I'd stopped in the break room for some tea which we were sadly out of) and found him studying it, eyebrows furrowed very deeply, head on hand and thumb brushing against his lip while Garcia and Hotch were briefing us on a case. I tried not to stare at him, because let's be honest it was unbelievably hot when he looked like that, and silently hoped he would not crack the code till later. Of course I had no such luck. He was a genius after all.

"I'm pregnant? What? I'm not-" Spencer suddenly said out loud, causing us all to stop and look at him. He was silenced by the box unlocking as he finished turning the small knobs to the correct letters. He saw what was inside and his eyes grew to the size of bowling balls as he picked it up. His face snapped up to look at me and he jumped out of his seat at the same time. "YOU'RE PREGNANT?!"

Everyone gaped at us. I froze, having not even made it into a chair yet.

"I...um...yeah," I managed to get out after a moment.

Spencer's mouth dropped open and his eyes somehow softened while staying wide. His floppy brown curls made him look even more like a puppy as he reached for me and squeaked out the word "Really?"

My heart melted, every emotion flooding to the surface, as I stepped closer to him.

"Yeah really. We're gonna have a baby, Spence," I said softly, smiling tentatively.

A gasp escaped Spencer's lips as he pulled me into his arms and spun me around while everyone cheered. He set me down and kissed me passionately through happy tears before the team engulfed us in hugs.

"Congratulations, you two," Hotch said, revealing a rare, genuine smile.

"Tanta Felicità!" Rossi exclaimed in Italian as he kissed our cheeks.

"You guys! This is amazing!" JJ said, "You're gonna be great parents!"

Tara echoed this enthusiastically, affectionately wrapping her arms around us for a brief moment before backing up.

"Wow, I was totally kidding when I asked if you wanted little baby geniuses some day. I'm so glad I was right though. This is wonderful news!" Emily quipped, grinning.

"BABY GENIUS THERE IS GOING TO BE A BABY GENIUS OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD!" Penelope all but screeched as she embraced us tightly, continuing to ramble. "Auntie Penelope is gonna spoil the heck out of this little one just like I do with Henry and Michael! I hope it's a girl but as long as he or she is healthy that's all that really matters."

"Way to go, Pretty Boy. I didn't know you had it in you!" Morgan joked once Garcia was done, clapping Spencer on the shoulder as we all giggled. "But I couldn't be happier for you both."

"Thanks man," Spencer chuckled, as he looked down at the object in his hands and teared up some more.

"What is it?" Morgan asked. Nobody had seemed to notice the object before but now they all zeroed in on it.

"A onesie?" JJ asked.

"It says 'Daddy's little Genius'...Daddy... I'm gonna be a dad...," Spencer murmured, smiling in that adorable way he does when he's emotional.

A chorus of awwwws filled the room followed by them scruffing Spencer's hair or clapping him on the shoulders again. I also received more hugs and a couple kisses on the head from Morgan and Rossi.

Hotch let us celebrate for a second, and celebrated with us, before drawing our attention back to the case at hand. Of course, Penelope told us we were having a real celebration when we got back and would not take no for an answer. And that's exactly what we did.

I hadn't meant for everyone to find out like that, but it ended up being the happiest moment in my life so far.

The memory faded as the tightening intensified. It felt like a weight pressing on me, like I wasn't going to be able to relax until I knew that Diana was safe. If anything happened to her, I wasn't sure what the hell I would do. She'd been doing so much better and she'd been absolutely over the moon upon learning she was going to be a grandmother. She'd nearly screamed out joyfully when we told her the news. She'd insisted that Spencer and I take turns reading to the baby every day and when Spencer was away, she took his place, picking up wherever he left off while I rested. Diana was genuinely wonderful and I was not violent by nature but I would go absolutely feral on anyone who hurt her, even in my current condition.

I tried to keep distracting myself with thoughts of Spencer and eventually began to doze off.

SPENCER POV:

I realized who the girl was as soon as she left the visiting room with my mother. I contacted the team as soon as possible to let them know, unable to keep from panicking.

Convincing them to believe me and the wait for news was excruciating but that was nothing compared to what I felt when Emily visited to update me on everything.

As soon as she walked in the room, I could see that something was very wrong, aside from Lindsey taking my mom. I think subconsciously I already knew what it was when I first saw Lindsey, but I couldn't bear to let myself even consider it.

"We found your caregiver dead in a house just a few houses down from yours. Ballistics came back and turns out Lindsey used her father's gun. We don't know whether it was to prove a point or something else, but the reasons are unimportant." Emily began, urging me to sit. I politely refused and she continued, "The point is that you were right, Reid. You were right and I didn't believe you. I'm so sorry."

"She's a daddy's girl. She can't help but use his gun," I mused out loud, going over the memories of her case in my mind.

"Good. That's good. That helps," Emily said, but there was something about her voice that alerted me.

I sat there across the table, shaking at this point, but I made myself look at her. "There's something else you're not telling me, isn't there?"

Emily looked down, hesitating for a second before answering.

"It's Y/N," she finally said, holding back tears,"Lindsey took her too."

My heart stopped. I heard Emily shout my name but couldn't focus on her at all. I couldn't think. I couldn't even pull oxygen into my lungs.

This was not happening.

This could not be happening.

Not my wife... not our baby...

I felt a hand on my arm. I shoved it off of me.

"You have to find them, Emily. Promise me you'll find my mom and Y/N." I begged, desperately.

"I promise you, Reid. We will find them," Emily assured me. "Right now you just have to find a way to isolate yourself."

I stormed toward the door and had the guard take me back to my cell.

I ended up having to make it look like Shaw stabbed me with a shiv to get put in solitary confinement. I couldn't handle anything else happening and I had to least try and stay safe on the off chance I got to get out and search for my wife and mom. Not that I had any hope that I would get out at this point in time, but I trusted my team with everything and I knew they would not rest till they found my family.

Sometime later, I found myself being brought out of isolation without any warning and I was terrified that Shaw had conjured up his own way to get to me. The guard left me in a room alone and I tried to remain calm, bracing myself for what was to come.

I was not prepared for my best friend to walk through the door.

"We're taking you home," JJ choked out as her eyes watered.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding as I pulled her into a tight hug. After a minute, she led me out the door and took me back to the BAU.

The sense of ease at seeing my work family again, especially the radiant embodiment of sunshine that was Penelope Garcia, was brief. It was soon overshadowed by unbridled rage when we discovered that Cat Adams was the true mastermind behind all of this.

She had Lindsey frame me for murder.

She had me put in prison.

She risked my sobriety by drugging me.

She had Lindsey kidnap my family.

Now, she was demanding to speak to me by using them as leverage.

Of course she wanted to play a game just like we did before when I arrested her, using my watch as the timer. She was angry that I'd outsmarted her so she wanted to break me. I was not about to let her have even a sliver of satisfaction.

She almost succeeded, however, when she revealed she was pregnant with my child.

Almost.

Apparently she'd told Lindsey to pretend to be Y/N after she dosed me with drugs so she could collect a sample from me down in Mexico. I knew it should not be possible, but I had been drugged and my memories of that day were still very hazy so I couldn't be sure.

"That's right, Y/N's not the only one carrying a baby protegé," Cat said in almost a sing song voice as I rushed out of the room. "I was thinking, if it's a boy, Spencie Junior. Or if it's a girl, Y/N. You know, since she played a part in her own conception."

JJ was waiting outside with Cat's file, hesitantly holding it up. I barely heard the words she said as I read it, then threw it against the wall once I saw the confirmation of pregnancy.

"Sorry," I said gently, upon noticing I had scared JJ. I ran my fingers through my hair. "I just...just need a minute."

JJ just nodded in understanding.

Some time later, the team discovered that Cat was lying about the child being mine and we eventually got her to call her cohort for proof of life.

My heart swelled when I heard the love of my life's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah we're okay, I think," she answered softly. Dread filled me at her next words. "But Spencer they have Mom. I don't know where, she's not with me but-

She'd conferenced in the call for my mom too and their voices made me hopeful for a second before both calls were cut off with explosions.

I forced the metal table out of my way before shoving Cat against the wall by her throat.

"I'm gonna kill you," I hissed, enraged once more. "I'm gonna kill you."

I kept repeating that until JJ pried me off of Cat, reminding me over and over that she was pregnant.

I stormed out again with JJ hot on my heels. I didn't have time to break down before the team told us that there was a call in about an amber alert Emily put out for Lindsey. Two vehicles at the scene were blown up but the only victim inside was male.

I felt bad for the man who was killed, but this meant there was hope again.

JJ and I talked some things through and pieced together what Cat really wanted me to say. While I told Cat what she wanted to hear, the team discovered the prison guard who had actually been the one to impregnate Cat and found two properties he owned.

I won the game by telling Cat that I could have done several different things to get out of the situation with Shaw and his men but I chose the one that would cause the most pain. In the process, Lindsey overheard us on Emily's tablet which had been connected to the visiting room cameras, realizing Cat betrayed her and therefore giving up.

As I was heading out, Cat piped up again. "How are you going to be a father now that you've proven you enjoyed hurting those men in prison? I mean, because once you've crossed that line, you can never go back."

In a split second I was on my knees in front of her, yanking my watch off of her wrist.

"Watch me," I retorted before walking out.

The team found my mom first and they let me see her briefly, then they took her to the hospital to make sure she was okay. We went to a secondary location we'd discovered which was where they were holding Y/N. I wasn't technically supposed to go because I was not reinstated yet but I couldn't think clearly enough to obey that rule when my girl and my unborn child were in danger.

Luckily, JJ was a parent and knew me too well so she had my back. Rossi also understood and had a helicopter standing by. We managed to make it there in time for the team to breech the house and I rushed in along side them without thinking.

That's when my whole life changed.

Y/N P.O.V.

My captors brought me to a house and left me in a room on the floor. I was alone for awhile and attempted to move to relieve the tight cramping sensation, which had gotten so much worse. I tried to conceal my pain from the man who was walking around the house setting stuff up and attaching rectangle shaped objects to the walls.

I was horrified when I saw that they were C4 charges. The resulting panic ran concurrent with another very intense tightening sensation, followed by what felt like a toilet flushing inside me and then a few minutes later, warm liquid spilled out between my legs.

All at once, the realization hit. The pains I'd been feeling all day were contractions and the liquid was my water breaking.

I was in labor. I had been kidnapped, was about to be blown up and I was in fucking labor.

I wasn't even due for another few weeks so this shouldn't be happening yet. I mean, I knew from the books Spencer and I read that babies rarely came on their actual due dates, but I was still incredibly frightened.

I wept quietly. Three or four more excruciating contractions ripped through me much more quickly before I was distracted by the doors being busted open.

I almost didn't even notice Tara knocking out the unsub or the others disarming the bombs because all I could focus on was the beautiful face of my sweet Spencer as he rushed over to me.

He hijacked Luke's pocket knife from his belt, swiftly slicing through the ropes before wrapping his arms around me.

"Spence," I sobbed hysterically into his shoulder.

"I'm here, love. It's okay," he murmured into my hair, kissing the side of my head.

"How are you here?" I asked, almost unable to conceive that he was really in front of me.

"I'll explain later. Right now we have to get you out of here," He answered, reaching to help me up.

"Wait, is Mom-" I started to say, but he was way ahead of me.

"Mom is fine, Emily and Luke got her back." he responded, relief in his voice.

"Oh, thank God. I-oh!" I grimaced, grabbing my belly.

"What's wrong?" Spencer asked, his face instantly distressed.

"The baby is coming," I managed to say through gritted teeth. "Like, right now."

"What?!"He nearly shouted. He located and motioned to the paramedics that had followed him in. "She's in labor. We need to get her to the hospital immediately!"

The EMTs rushed over to us.

"Ma'am how far apart are your contractions?" one of the paramedics asked as he opened his bag, applied a blood pressure cuff to my arm and took my vitals. Another EMT started setting up a stretcher for me.

I gripped my husband's bicep for dear life as I felt another contraction after a little bit. He winced in pain but he supported me through it.

"I don't know, but close enough to know we ain't making it to the hospital," I groaned, leaning against him once it passed.

"Damn it, you're right. That last one was 2 minutes and 48 seconds from the one you had when I got here. How are you in active labor so quickly? The books said the first child usually takes the longest and it could be hours if not days before the baby is born," Spencer rambled anxiously.

"Um, pretty sure I've been having contractions since they took us," I told him,"How long has it been since then?"

He gaped at me,"It's about 1:30am. It's been approximately 17 hours. God, I'm so sorry, Y/N. This is not how this was supposed to happen. It's 3 weeks early and you're under too much stress-"

"It's okay, Spence. We're okay," I reassured him, grabbing my belly as another pain shot through me. "Oohh nope we're not!"

Spencer looked so freaked out which was sort of scaring me.

The EMT seemed to notice and stopped what he was doing,"Hey, it's going to be okay, guys. Her vitals and everything look good and babies are delivered a few weeks premature all the time and are in perfect health. We'll take good care of you all, I promise."

It seemed to work. Spencer relaxed a little bit and switched into doctor mode, holding my hands.

"You're alright, just remember the birthing classes. Breathe with me like this, okay?" He instructed in a gentle voice, demonstrating what the lamaze teacher taught us. I did what he said as best as I could.

The team, who was still standing there awkwardly, left when Spencer and the paramedic started to remove my short bottoms and slid a large pad thing underneath me. JJ said they would meet us at the hospital since they needed to check on Diana anyway. At some point in the process Spencer slipped behind me, sitting with his legs on either side of me and his arms under mine, probably without thinking about it. We sat like this a lot in the classes and also at home because he'd read that sitting like this while carefully lifting my belly provided some much needed relief from it weighing down on me.

"Looks like you're fully dialated. It's time for you to push," the paramedic said, after he checked me. "Uh, what are you doing?"

"I need," I grunted, shifting back against Spencer, who as quick to assist,"I need to be up..."

"What?" the medic asked, confused.

"Statistically, it's much more beneficial and effective to give birth in an upright position such as squatting or kneeling on all fours," Spencer prattled off facts as he lifted me so I was sitting up against his chest. He kept his arms underneath mine and entwined our fingers so I could squeeze his hands whenever I needed to."In fact, up until the 1700's, women were even known to give birth standing up. It allows the pelvic bones to open up for the child to pass through more easily and gravity helps the process move faster."

The medic gave him the look everyone gives him when he spouts facts and I supressed a giggle.

"Are you a doctor?" he asked my husband, incredulously.

"I have 3 phD's so technically yes-oh owww,"Spencer's sentence was interrupted by me squeezing the life out of his hands as another one hit.

The medic gave him a 'wow' look and then focused on me again,"Okay, anyway I'm gonna have you push through this contraction. Are you ready?"

I nodded and inhaled deeply, pushing on his cue. He counted down and told me to stop. I exhaled harshly and rested for a second before I was told to do it again. We repeated this a few times, Spencer lovingly encouraging me through it. The medic also reassured me that I was doing great, even though I was exhausted and didn't feel like I was doing well.

Sooner than expected, a tiny wail filled the room, changing everything and stirring an indescribable feeling inside me.

"It's a girl!" The paramedic announced, cleaning her, wrapping her in the blue towel things they use and placing her in my arms.

"Oh my gosh" I gasped as I stroked her small head, in hysterical tears at this point. "Hello my little love...oh Spence, look at her..."

Spencer, gaping at her in awe, managed to speak, "H-hi princess, I'm your dad...wow you're so beautiful...you look just like your mommy."

He wasn't wrong. She had his round, hazel eyes, but most of her facial features and her hair color were the same as mine. I smiled warmly down at her through my tears.

I was going to throw back a smart remark but it was forgotten as more tightening and the need to push again overtook me. "Something else is coming out what the-?"

"It's probably the placenta needing to be delivered," Spencer said, without taking his eyes off of our daughter.

"I don't think so," The medic said, reaching his hands out as I instinctively pushed some more.

Just when I thought I could not exert myself anymore, whatever it was came out and the medic grinned, holding it up. "Does that look like a placenta to you, Doctor?"

Our eyes just about popped out of our heads at the sight of the tiny wriggling form.

Another baby??!!

"I-No but- that's impossible," Spencer stuttered, in shock. I mirrored his expression completely.

"You didn't know?" The medic looked confused as he grabbed another towel thing.

"No, the ultrasounds only showed one baby," I said, in disbelief.

"This is a surprise then!" the medic chuckled. "Well congratulations Mom and Dad, it's a boy!"

He placed the baby in my other arm and reminded Spencer, who was still completely astounded, to cut the umbilical cords.

"We have twins?" Spencer whispered increduously, staring at the two small bundles wiggling against my chest.

"We have twins," I repeated, gazing back and forth between my babies and my husband, dumbfounded, "I can't believe it."

The second baby looked exactly like his father. The same brown curls, the same nose, lips, eyes, everything. He was perfect. Both our children were. I'd never felt so much love and joy in my life and I could tell Spencer hadn't either.

"Hi, sweet boy, we were not expecting you, but we are so happy that you're here," I cooed at my son.

"Yes we are. We love you so much, little buddy," Spencer agreed, resting his head on my shoulder as he brushed the boy's cheek lightly with his thumb.

I turned my head to face him and he pressed his lips to mine, murmuring. "I love you and I'm so proud of you."

"I love you too," I murmured back, feeling the warm wetness on my cheeks return as I pressed my forehead to his.

"Congratulations, again. They're adorable," The medic said, warmly as he cleaned everything up.

"Thank you," We answered simultaneously, smiling widely.

When the EMT was done, Spencer moved out from behind me and took the babies so the medics could lift me onto the stretcher. They put a warm blanket over me and then Spencer handed me one of the babies, still wanting to hold one.

Once we got to the hospital, Spencer went with the nurses who took the babies to get checked out. I was taken by other nurses who set me up in a room and made sure I was okay. While he was gone I asked one of my nurses to bring Diana and our friends up to my room.

Diana was a little confused for a minute when she saw me, but luckily her son walked in with a rolling bassinet at just the right moment, parking it next to my bed.

"Spencer's here," I told her softly.

She looked up at him and after a second she rushed into his arms and he embraced her happily, crying.

"Hi, Mom," he murmured.

She pulled back and took his face into her hands. "Don't you ever leave me again."

"I won't," He told her, pulling her back in for a hug. "I love you."

She said it back and after a bit, he was the one to pull back.

"Mom, I have a surprise for you. For all of you, actually," He said, looking at our friends. He smiled as he handed me one baby and then picked up the other and turned to face the group.

Everyone gasped or looked at us wide eyed.

There was a chorus of attempted quiet reactions from the team while Diana moed closer to us, some recognition beginning to spark in her eyes. I could see Garcia using every ounce of her strength not to freak out and accidentally scare her.

"Am I a grandma?" She asked, tentativel.

"Yeah, you are," Spencer answered, warmly.

Diana looked back and forth between us, confused. "But I thought there was only one?"

Spencer chuckled, gesturing to the blue bundle in his arms. "Yeah, we thought so too, until this little guy showed up unannounced."

"He's shocking people just like his father already," She grinned, earning a light laugh from all of us. "Well, do they have names yet?"

"Well, we have a girl name since we knew we were having a daughter, but we are still trying to figure out a boy name since he was a surprise," I answered.

"What's the girl's name?" she asked, sitting on the bed next to me. Spencer sat on my other side.

"Say hello to Amelia Diana Reid," We told her happily as I shifted the pink blanket away from our daughter's face so she could see better.

She gasped again and looked back and forth between Spencer and I in shock once more before smiling and gently hugging us. Awwww's filled the room at the scene.

"The middle name obviously needs no explanation, but the meaning behind the first name is something we want to share. Neither of us had good fathers and I don't have a good mother. So Amelia is the closest thing we could think of as a kind of combination of Aaron and Emily, our work mom and dad,"I explained, smiling adoringly at Emily.

She came over and embraced us carefully. "Thank you. I wish Hotch were here. I think you two are the only ones beside Jack that can get him to smile, and this would definitely turn that stoic frown upside down."

We giggled and so did several of our team members.

I helped Diana hold Amelia for a little bit, and then our son in turn until she started to be less lucid and wanted to rest. Emily had arranged for her to sleep and be cared for in a room close by ours so she could be near us. JJ took her to that room with a nurse and the others left our room for a little while so I could feed the twins. We were burping and changing them when everyone came back.

As soon as she was able to, Penelope pretty much exploded, accidentally interrupting Spencer as he was trying to tell me something. "Oh my gosh TWINS? Two baby geniuses for the price of one! This is the best news ever and I am going to buy tons of stuff for baby boy since you're gonna need double the baby supplies and you only have girl stuff right now and I am going to love them and hug them and be there for them and teach them lots of cool things and-"

"Garcia, breathe," Rossi said, patting her on the back as we all giggled. He turned to us, "Congratulations, both of you."

"Oh they're so precious, guys!"JJ cooed, coming over for a closer look. She was very careful as she hugged us,"You know, anything you need, I'm here for you. Okay?"

"Yeah same, we got you," Luke agreed.

"Well done, Dr. and Mrs, Reid," Tara said in admiration.

"Thanks everyone," we responded happily.

"You did good, mama. The babies are beautiful," Morgan said, leaning down and kissing me on the head as he touched Amelia's hand with his pinky finger. He smiled over at Spencer, "You too, kid. Gideon would be proud of you, you know."

The look on Spencer's face brought me to tears. I'd only been on the team a short time before Gideon left, but I did get to briefly experience the kind, caring, brilliant man he was, who loved Spencer like his own son and knew him better than he knew himself. He even knew the second Spencer and I met that we were falling for each other because he would pair us up a lot and whenever we were together or he caught us looking at one another, he got a look on his face like he was seeing something we were not. He later told Spencer this in his letter and told him to hold on to me and to not let the job get in the way of us. He said to find solace in each other and remind each other of the good things in the world when we were bogged down by all the bad things we saw at work.

This was what finally gave Spencer the courage to ask me out and thank God for that because I was going out of my mind over him by that point and I was so close to just giving up entirely.

Suffice it to say, that man meant the whole world to Spencer and by extention, to me as well. His loss had been beyond devastating for us and I had since been looking for a way to honor his memory....

I looked at my husband, "Hey love, what were you saying before Garcia's outburst?"

"Hmm?" He mumbled, having been pulled out of whatever thought process he was in, "Oh, I was saying I have an idea for our son's name..."

"Oh? What is it?" I asked, curiously.

"I noticed that the medic who delivered the twins had a nametag that said Elliot and I really liked it because it makes me think of the author T.S. Eliot, but also because it reminds me of my friend Elle who used to work with us and who I miss very much. So I was thinking we could name him Elliot, if you're okay with it, of course," He whispered, rambling a bit excitedly.

I knew who Elle was. He and some of the others had talked about her a lot and she seemed like a good person who had just been through a lot. She was like an older sister to Spencer and the name was really cute and meaningful so I was sold.

"I love it...and I have a suggestion for his middle name," I told him, eagerly.

"What?" he asked.

"Gideon," I whispered back, tentatively.

He stared at me for a second with his huge puppy eyes, looking like he was about to cry. He nodded fervently, his eyes moving to his tiny carbon copy sleeping in his arms. He'd barely taken his eyes off the twins since they'd been born and watching him become so  enamored by them made me fall even more in love with him.

"Hey guys, we came up with a name for our son," He said out loud, grabbing everyone's attention as he lifted one of the baby's hands, waving it. "I'd like you all to meet Elliot Gideon Reid."

Tara and Luke only partially connected the dots, since they only knew stories of Gideon and Morgan had just mentioned him.

The rest of the team, however, got both names immediately and there was not a dry eye amongst them. More hugs happened and then everyone took their turns holding the twins and talking with us for awhile until they saw us having trouble staying awake. They handed the babies back and quietly made their way out, one by one.

We put the twins in their bassinet and Spencer curled up next to me while we stared at them.

"Welcome to the world, Amelia and Elliot," we whispered. "We love you."

***********************************

EPILOGUE(Spencer POV):

I was reinstated to the FBI, after some substantial time off to be with my wife and new babies, with mandatory sabbaticals every so often. I did my best to balance work and home, actually electing to stay behind with Garcia sometimes so I could be close to home. A few years later, we had another set of twins, this time both showing up on the sonograms. They were a boy and girl again, and we named them Lilliana Jennifer Reid and Theodore Morgan Reid(Lilly and Theo for short).

Then, another year and a half later, we got pregnant with our last child, a complete surprise since we were told we could not have any more. We named her Davina Penelope Reid, Davina being the closest female name to David(for Rossi).

After that, we were done and our family was complete. Of course, the team adored them and spoiled them rotten. We also realized not long after Amelia and Elliot were born that my mom would be much better cared for in a facility, which was very difficult for me to come to terms with. Fortunately, we found an amazing facility nearby. She's actually thriving there and she loves her grandbabies so much. We bring them to visit her or bring her home sometimes. She often reads to them or teaches them about literature and history the way she taught me.

Life is good. And I am thankful for every day with my gorgeous wife, my five wonderful children, my awesome friends and of course, my mother.

***********************************************

#spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #doctor spencer reid #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer x reader #spencer x y/n #criminal minds angst #derek morgan #penelope garcia #jj jareau #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #tara lewis #luke alvez #david rossi #jason gideon #mgg #matthew gray gubler

[wastingmylifesecondatatime]

UPDATE: 16.01.2024

NOTE: You can find other masterlists in  my mother masterlist

I have updated the following masterlists:

Criminal Minds Masterlist - One Shots/Drabbles

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

Golden Trio Era - Slytherin

BTS Poly Masterlist

Park Jimin Masterlist

Genshin Impact Masterlist

Kim Taehyung Masterlist

Min Yoongi Masterlist

Jung Hoseok Masterlist

Twilight Masterlist

Volturi Masterlist

Black Butler Masterlist

#smut #angst #fluff #fic rec #masterlist #x reader #imagine #spencer reid x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #derek morgan x reader #luke alvez x reader #bucky barnes x reader #theodore nott x reader #theo nott x reader #bts #bts x reader #ot7 x reader #park jimin x reader #dottore x reader #wriothesley x reader #genshin impact #wanderer x reader #childe x reader #kim taehyung x reader #v x reader #suga x reader #min yoongi x reader #jung hoseok x reader #jasper hale x reader #marcus volturi x reader

[spencerreidswhore187]

Checkmate (The Final Part)

By @spencerreidswhore187 for @sackofpissandshit (who has been harassing me for this fic all week)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Summary: Spencer finds out that reader is not who he thought they were. (Lots of angst)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Unsub (g!n) Reader

Word Count: 3.1K

TW: Death, kidnapping, mentions of assault, blood, strong-ish language, mentions of suicide, mentions of self-harm, severing of a limb, fire.

A/N: Hi! Thank you to everyone who liked, commented, reblogged and followed Checkmate, it means the world to me. Sorry this has taken me a while to write, a fun fact about me is I currently have a kidney infection - my doctor told me this on the one year anniversary of my last kidney infection. Anyway, enjoy me, an extremely British person trying (and failing) to be American.

P.S. There is a Star Trek reference in this that killed me to write.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a foolish thing to fall in love with hope. Hope was dangerous. Hope was irresistible. Hope would inevitably kill you. 

You had hoped you'd survive this but knew it was impossible; as you ran, you felt it die - that spark, your soul. There was no Y/N, not anymore. Only the Phantom Menace remained.

Y/N will not be able to save Spencer, but the Phantom Menace could. 

You hated that name (not that it mattered) you had no say in it. You were a ghost Ben had told you, a monster. You needed a name that mirrored that. 

You were like a shadow all those years ago. You disguised yourself in the dark, letting gloom envelop you. You felt safe when you became the ghost. 

It was like you did not exist. All your problems went away and you allowed yourself to be someone else - something else. You had scaled the coarse brick wall of a manor house dreaming of your future. When you silently slipped through the window, you thought about love. 

It was unbecoming to believe a person could ever fall in love with someone like you - a killer, the creature that lurked under children’s beds, haunting their nightmares. 

Still, your mind chased the foolish fantasy. 

Love was what let you dissociate. Love was what let you drag a blade along a stranger’s neck. And, when you returned like clockwork to the Ivylands without a drop of crimson blood on you, you would walk alone through the woods to the cabin by the lake.

You had been instructed to go there after every mission. 

Ben would stroke your hair, calling you beautiful and shower you with praise. Once upon a time, you thought that was what love was...you knew better now. Thanks to Spencer.

Spencer was your everything and you would not let yourself lose him. 

That meant killing the gentle thing you’d become. You wished it was harder than it was to do so. 

“Left,” you murmured, heading to the cabin was like listening to your old favourite song: it had been so long, yet, you still knew every single word.

You knew this is where Beth had taken Spencer; She hated that place. She wasn’t like you, Ben’s rare, kind words did not fill her with life - they made her sick, they made her angry. You used to wish you were more like her: she was confident and proud, not some kid who did whatever was asked of them. Still, Beth would wipe away your tear after every kill. “Never let him see you hurting,” she would make you promise “because even if Ben tells you he feels bad for what he did, I need you to know that deep down he has a sadistic smile knowing he broke you. Don’t let him break you, Mouse.” 

Ben never saw you cry, not until he killed Beth. He laughed at his pretty little murderer as tears streamed down your cheeks. You stopped feeling that day - you became numb. That is, until, him. 

Spencer made your heart start beating again. 

At last, you stopped running. The cabin was ancient, constructed of rotting moss-stained wood. You had no idea how after all this time, it was still standing. 

The porch groaned as you hesitantly approached the door; you gripped the brass handle and twisted it. Your hands were shaking. 

It was useless trying to be discrete. Beth knew you were coming, she likely knew you were already here.

The door screeched as it opened, though, you could barely hear it - your heart was pounding in your ears. 

Nothing prepared you for the sight of Dr Spencer Reid handcuffed, sitting crossed-legged on the floor, with Beth aiming a gun at him. 

Beth had a warm smile plastered on her face as you walked through the threshold, “Hello, Mouse.” 

You hated the nostalgia that stupid nickname made you feel. All the others had called you that behind your back, you used to pretend like you didn’t hear. You like it when Beth said it, though. 

It made you feel special.

Not anymore.

You raised your gun at her, “Let him go.” You kept your gaze focused on her, not allowing it to slip back to Spencer, who you could see watching you out of your peripheral.

Part of you was shocked that he didn’t grimace at your appearance; blood and mud coated your entire body. But Spencer wasn’t like that, it did not matter who you were or what you looked like, to him you would always be the most beautiful person in the world. Sometimes, when he held you under the covers of your bed, whispering sweet nothings, you would believe him. 

“Put the gun down, Y/N,” Beth ordered. She pushed it against Spencer’s temple. 

You could hear Spencer’s rapid breathing. You didn’t let it distract you. Instead, you took a step closer to them. 

Beth didn’t like that. “Don’t fucking test me, Mouse. I will kill him.”

“No,” your voice was confident, steady, even, the Phantom Menace was talking now, “you won’t.”

You cocked the gun and fired without hesitation. 

Beth’s wicked cackle flooded the room as you missed, shattering the window behind her.

Shards of glass scattered across the floor, distracting you. Your idiotic mistake allowed Beth to steal your gun. 

You focused on Spencer’s hazel eyes as she roughly pulled your hands behind your back. As you felt the cool metal of handcuffs around your wrists, you mouthed to Spencer: “It’s okay.” 

Beth grabbed your hair, using it to pull you to the floor. You didn’t even wince as you fell onto a pile of jagged glass, you watched Spencer rapidly search you for open wounds. 

You sat opposite him as Beth sat down at the dining room table. She raised her gun again. 

“I have some questions for the two of you,” she taunted. “You are both going to do whatever I say, correct?”

Neither of you answered. This angered Beth; she fired the pistol twice, a few metres from where you lay. “Correct?” She repeated.

Spencer replied instantly, “Yes.”

You refused to look at Beth, “yes,” you muttered.

“Wonderful,” she laughed, “Checkmate.”

—————————————————————————————————---

When the unknown number started calling, Penelope Garcia was already on the phone. 

“Pen, Penelope. I need you to calm down okay?” Emily tried to reassure her.

“I don’t - I can’t breathe. Oh my god Luke. Emily! Please, I don’t know what to do. First Spencer and now my newbie? I-”

“He’s alive, Penelope. Y/N didn’t kill him, she missed his heart. Luke is on his way to the hospital, and Rossi and I are on our way back to headquarters.”

“I don’t understand, Emily, you saw Y/N L/N try and stop the bleeding?” 

“Yes?”

“Then how do you they shot him?”

“No one else was with them and Spencer is gone. I can’t explain why they did it. We know they poisoned and then tried to save Reid, perhaps they have a saviour complex…what is that ringing?”

Garcia spun around in her chair, reaching for her work phone.

“Some unknown number keeps calling.”

Emily’s voice filtered through the mobile instantly, “answer it. Now,” she ordered.

“…you don’t think it’s-”

“I do.”

Penelope answered immediately, placing her other phone on her desk. 

“Is this Agent Penelope Garcia of the BAU?” Asked a distorted voice.

Penelope replied anxiously, “Speaking.”

“I have something you might like to see.” The call disconnected as a hyperlink came through on her computer. 

Rossi and Emily entered the room as soon as Garcia clicked on the link. 

“What on earth…” She gasped.

A live video appeared on the screen showing Y/N and Reid both handcuffed, sat on a wooden floor.  

“Someone tell JJ to look for a log cabin. Immediately.” Instructed Emily. 

“Dr Reid,” a voice from offscreen purred, “why don’t you go first? Tell your dear girlfriend about Meave.” 

————————————————————————————————————-

Meave. You recognised that name but for the life of you could not figure out why. 

“Ignore her,” you pleaded.

Beth scoffed, making a show of cocking the gun, “wrong answer. Try again.”

Spencer inhaled deeply. “Meave died because of me.”

“You can do better than that, Reid.”

“She, um, was my girlfriend. She was being stalked by this girl Diane Turner. It was a murder-suicide.” 

“Don’t forget to tell our Y/N when this was,” Beth taunted. 

“N-nearly four years ago.”

Right before he met you. The grave you realised. It all made so much sense. She was why Spencer was in the cemetery, Meave was who he was coming to see. 

You could tell Beth wanted to make you jealous but you felt nothing at all. Your heart broke a little for Spence, you could see why he lied about being a doctor. 

If Beth was irritated by your silence, you couldn’t tell. “Your turn Mouse!” She sang, “If you answer honestly then you can ask me a question.”

You closed your eyes briefly, already knowing what she was going to ask.

“Who’s August?” 

“No,” you whispered.

Her hand slapped your cheek with a powerful force. You weren’t surprised, Ben had taught you how to inflict pain oh so well. 

“Who. Is. August.” She repeated. 

You corrected, “Was. Who was August.” You regretted ever telling Beth about them. 

You fidgeted against the restraints. “August was the first person I loved. They were kind and caring and I killed them anyway.” You turned your head towards Beth, “How did you survive?”

“Are you sure that’s what you want to ask? It’s such a boring question.” 

“Answer it then.” Beth rolled her eyes. 

“The fucking bastard missed my heart when he shot me. Just like I missed SSA Luke Alvez’s. Ben’s assistants through my body into an open grave and left me there, didn’t even bother to check my pulse,” she sniffed, “Your turn again, Reid. What was it that you purchased last week when you pretended to be sick to avoid going to work?”

Spencer turned slightly, staring right at you as he said it.

“An engagement ring.”

“Spence…” You breathed.

Beth was beaming. Spencer looked like he was going to throw up. 

“It was a really beautiful ring, Mouse, so simple, so plain. Just like you,” she teased. 

“Why are you doing this?” 

Beth kissed her teeth, “It’s not your turn, honey. Now, explain why you poisoned your precious boyfriend, or, better yet, pretended to be his wife when you called for an ambulance.” 

“I don’t know why,” you lied.

“Yes, you do!” Spencer couldn’t breathe. “It’s because you do whatever your master, Ben, tells you.” Shouted Beth.

“Then it’s a good thing you killed him,” you spat. 

You repeated your earlier question. “Why are you doing this.”

Making sure Beth was distracted, you slowly, discretely, reached for the jagged shard of glass on the left of your right hand. 

“It’s not fair,” she seethed, “I trusted you and you fell in love with one of them. You hated police officers, remember? They are the reasons we became monsters! If they hadn’t stopped looking for us, we never would have ended up here, in this house, in this cabin. If-if it wasn’t for them, my family would still be alive.” 

You grasped the glass shard tightly, blood trickling down your palm. 

“If my family has to be dead, then so does yours. There’s only one person you care about…him.” Beth gestured at him with the gun. 

“Last question before I kill you both-”

“Y/N,” Spencer edged towards you.

“Enough, pig. Do you love them?” Beth tapped the gun against his head. 

Spencer didn’t bother hiding the truth, if you were both going to die, he needed you to know. He looked into your eyes, Spencer would happily drown in the [your eye colour] of your eyes. “I love you,” He vowed. 

“Even now? She is a murderer, after all, the very thing you’re hired to destroy.” 

“You are the knife I turn inside myself; that is love. That, my dear, is love.” He quoted. 

 Spencer must have read Kafka’s ‘Letters to Milena’ a thousand times since you met, every time he opened the cover of the novel, he was brought back to the day he met the love of his life. 

“You are poetry material, Spence; You are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out. Words burst in your essence and you carry their dust in the pores of your ethereal individuality.” Immediately you were engulfed by pain, you pressed the glass shard against the base of your pinky finger and pushed and pushed. You tried your hardest to keep your breathing steady when finally you severed the finger. 

You saw Spencer notice the blood pooling behind you. You subtly shook your head as he opened his mouth to protest. Angling your hand just right, you were able to agonisingly force your hand out of one of the cuffs. 

Beth slowly walked towards you, “Well wasn’t that romantic. Oh, wait, I mean pathetic.” 

Without hesitation, you tackled her to the ground, reaching for the gun in her hand. 

“Y/N!” You heard Spencer cry as Beth’s elbow collided with your chin. You were blinded by pain but that did not matter, you needed that weapon. You notice a small triangle of glass to your right, you reached for it and plunged it into Beth’s side. 

Beth screamed, immediately reaching to pull the glass out. This allowed you to capture the gun.

How the tables turn, you thought, as you pressed the barrel against her temple.

“Spencer,” you instructed slowly, “go.”

He stood up and took one step towards you, “Spence, please,” your voice cracked, “I need you to go.”

“I’m not going to leave you Y/N.” 

“Please, Spence.”

“Y/N-”

“I love you. Promise me you’ll run as fast as you can. Don’t turn back. I’ll be right behind you.” You both knew it was a lie. 

Beth squirmed in your grasp. 

“You’ll be right behind me?”

“Scout’s honour.” You did the Vulcan salute for good measure. 

You made sure to drink Spencer in one more time, he was so beautiful. You wished you could have told him more. 

Spencer turned back around one last time before leaving. 

“You lied.” Beth gave a cold, wet laugh - blood dribbled down her chin. “Neither of us is getting out of this alive.”

You stood up, brushing the dirt off you. Your hand was throbbing. “Did Ben seriously not remember you?”

Beth looked at you, face painted with confusion. 

“Power of hair dye, I guess.” You shrugged. 

Beth remained on the soiled ground as you walked towards the set of drawers. You rummaged through the mess till you found what you were looking for. Tentatively, you pulled one out of the box, dragging it along the side.

“You’re crazy,” Beth breathed. 

You held the match near your face, examining the orange flame. 

“Checkmate,” you mocked as you let go. 

——————————————————————————————————

Spencer ran and ran and ran. If he stopped it became too real. He refused to believe it. He kept running through the woods until he collided with someone else. 

“Spencer!” Exclaimed JJ, pulling him in for a hug. Spencer rested his head on her shoulder, he couldn’t help the sobs that escaped him. “It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay,” JJ soothed, rubbing his back. 

“I have to go back,” Spencer whispered into her shoulder. “I need to help them, they-”

“Spencer,” Tara said slowly, gently, “what do you mean?”

“Spencer pushed away from JJ and started explaining “They’re still…no. No. NO!”

He turned around and watch the melancholy smoke rise, dancing above the horizon. The amber flames taunted him, reaching for the stars in the distance. 

Spencer thought he knew heartbreak…it felt nothing like this. Pain didn’t do this feeling justice. He felt like he was dying. 

——————————————————————————————————

It had been a week since you died; Spencer had only left the headquarters once. 

The team had tried to coax him away from the reports but it was to no avail. Something was wrong, he was sure of it. You couldn’t be dead. You couldn’t. 

Emily had shown Spencer the footage from the live stream with Beth in hopes it would give him closure, it just made it worst. He replayed the last five seconds of the clip again and again. 

There was something malicious, something cunning, about the way you stared at the camera as you dropped the match. 

It was like you knew it was there all along. 

“Reid…” Emily tried, but Spencer ignored her. She didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but you.

Your funeral was the day before. No one went but Spence. 

He had traced your name in the granite on your gravestone where Y/N Reid was engraved. He knew you hated your last name. He held his treasured copy of Letters to Milena and spoke for the first time in days: “If a million loved you, I am one of them, and if one loved you, it was me, and if no one loved you then know that I am dead.” He left the novel, along with his broken heart and shattered soul, at the grave. 

Spencer reached for the fire report once again. 

He had memorised every word but still, he would read it again and again until he found whatever it was Spencer was looking for. 

He ran a long, thin finger along the printed words.

Two bodies had been found in the ruins of the cabin. Both were too burnt to be identifiable, not that it could have been anyone else other than Beth Gallagher and Y/N L/N. One body had a deep cut on the left side of their stomach and the other was covered in shallow cuts. Other than that, no wounds. No wounds, Spencer repeated to himself, both bodies had all ten fingers and all ten toes. 

No..it couldn’t be possible.

But Spencer knew what he saw, the memory was tattooed on his brain. He watched you cut your finger off. 

You were alive.

A/N: Thank you for reading! This is the final part of the Checkmate series (sorry for the cliffhanger) I hope you enjoyed it. I did write an epilogue in addition to this part but I'm not sure whether I'm going to post it or not ◡̈

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Taglist: @sackofpissandshit @ara-a-bird @princess-ofthe-pages @catsinaspacesuit @skull-centric @wrldofsage @dezibou

#criminal minds #spencer reid #mathew gray gubler #mgg #criminal minds evolution #tara lewis #emily prentiss #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #jennifer jareau #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfiction #luke alvez #penelope garcia #david rossi #frank kafka #Spencer Reid puts the Bi in FBI

[byersbootyshorts]

Criminal Minds Masterlist

Requests for this fandom are currently closed

Any of my works marked * contain explicit sexual content. Minors DNI

Spencer Reid:

Series Masterlists:

Revenge is Sweet * (complete) Spencer is tired of the endless trauma he’s had to endure because of his job. When he enlists the help of his wife to get some pay back on the FBI, they discover just how sweet revenge really is.

One shots:

Thin Walls * The team is exhausted. But with the inn they're staying at forcing them to pair up for the night, you and Spencer aren't so tired anymore.

Losing Feelings * (part one) After Lila kissed him in the pool, Spencer needs help getting over his feelings for her. You help him by giving him everything she never could. Catching Feelings (part two) Following your night with Spencer you go to work the next day determined that the rest of the team won't find out. And you fail miserably.

Just a Phone Call Away Spencer's knee injury means he's stuck at Quantico while the rest of the team go off to hunt an unsub. And he does not cope well with being away from you for long.

Sweet Sorrow Emily’s death effected the whole team, but it hit Spencer the hardest. And when he’s at his lowest, it’s you he comes running to.

Blood and Tears When Spencer takes a bullet for you, you struggle to come to terms with what’s just happened.

Not So Smart Now * Spencer’s intelligence and cocky attitude has always infuriated you. So, when given the chance, you revel in putting him in his place.

Blurbs:

Having a desk opposite Spencer

The accidental dumbification of Spencer Reid *

Teaching Spencer how to use chopsticks

Spencer’s embarrassing Christmas costume

Playing Twister with Spencer

Spencer’s new year’s kiss

Your’s and Spencer’s after case routine

Spencer’s reaction to your low cut shirt

Asking Spencer to spend more time with you

Alvez misreading your interaction with Spencer

Playing with Spencer's hair

Asking Spencer to be your Valentine

#criminal minds #masterlist #spencer reid #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #luke alvez #matt simmons #tara lewis #penelope garcia #alex blake #kate callahan #david rossi #jason gideon #elle greenaway #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst

[ssahopelessly]

Broken Mirror

Synopsis: A few weeks after he is released from prison, Spencer’s insecurities rise to the surface, causing a fight. The fight pushes the reader to go to Luke’s house, where he suddenly finds himself playing couples counselor.

Warnings: couples fighting, suggestions of cheating, mention of Cat Adams and what happened in Mexico, self sabotage of a relationship, miscommunication

Word Count: 2.5k

Masterlist

“I’m sorry I can’t be him.” Spencer mumbled under his breath.

“Be WHO Spencer?” Unintentionally, I had snapped at him. I didn’t want to. It was the last thing he deserved. But the fight was getting old before it even started. Too preoccupied by my thoughts, I hadn’t noticed how he ran his hands through his hair before looking back over at me.

“Him! Luke Alvez!” A laugh escaped through his lips.

“What?” The idea was preposterous. I moved closer back into our living area to look at him, but his eyes told me he had convinced himself that Alvez was who I wanted to be with.

“If you’re so unhappy with me, maybe you should go be with him.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Blinded by jealousy or rage did not matter, he was making no sense in any capacity.

“Garcia told me! Told me how close you were while I was in prison (Y/N)! How he was always at your side, always your shoulder to cry on. How when you missed me the most, he was there to comfort you? We’re fucking profilers (Y/N), do you think I’m dumb?” Spencer was not textbook dumb, by no measure could you test and prove he was unintelligent. But in this moment, he was astoundingly and remarkably dumb. And I was enraged. His feelings were pouring out, accusing me of such malicious acts and intent, I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore.

“And JJ told me about Cat and her baby!”

“What?” His strong and loud conviction was soon broken into a soft whisper, as if this was something that would have remained between the three of them.

“How Cat Adams got you off in Mexico and while she is very much pregnant, you for a moment considered the child may be yours.”

“You have no business-“

“And you know what hurts the most Spence? Is that you and I both know you would take in the child.”

“Now that’s unfair.” He leaned back in his chair, breaking the stare down we had been caught in, taking a moment to glance over at the window. With his fingers curled into a fist by his mouth, I watched how his lips moved in a fashion to indicate he was very much biting away at the inside.

“Is it?” And just like that, he wouldn’t look at me. And I wouldn’t wait for him to. Finally getting my feet to move, I made my way towards our room, immediately searching for the go bag I had just been repacking for work.

“Where are you going?” It was a call from the doorway, his body now filling the space of the frame. I could feel his eyes on me but I couldn’t think or even spare a glance at him. My movements seemed to know what I was intent on doing before I figured it out.

“I’m doing what you said: I’m going to Luke’s.” Wiping a tear away from my skin, I walked towards the front door, only needing my car keys from where they lived, in the ceramic dish by the entrance of his apartment.

“You’re leaving me?” He continued to call after me, as if it were a challenge.

“You did this yourself!” Looking back over to him, I saw how eyes were confused before anything else. “Spencer, I am not going to stand here any longer if you are only intentionally driving a wedge between us. Shit, I want to be here with you. But I can’t bear witness to you destroying us before I can even have a say in it.”

“You said you would never leave me.” From his voice I could tell he wanted to sound angry but it registered more as hurt than anything else. It was almost enough to convince me to stay and repair our damage. Almost.

“And you said you would never break my heart.”

-

“(Y/N/N)? What are you-“ I tried to wipe my tears away before Luke had to look at me, but they never stopped. This is how Luke found me on his front doorstep, my hands tucked away in the too long sleeves of one of Spencer’s old sweaters and tears streaming down my face while I choked on my own sobs. “Oh my god.” He pulled me in for a hug before moving us back into his house, closing the door behind him. His hands moved from cradling my head to brushing my hair out of my face, letting my head rest in his hands as I tried to find my breathing. There was suddenly a cool breeze on my nose, notably coming from Luke. Giving him a puzzled look, he offered me a sheepish smile. “Uhm- Spencer told me one time when you introduce a new feeling to the nervous system, your brain stops in order to figure out what is happening.”

“Did he really?”

“Something along those lines. He just used more words.” I tried not to laugh but I did as I tried to wipe away my tears. “Do you want to tell me what is going on?” It was either tell him or maybe he would profile it out of me. But Luke didn't need to be heavily involved in the personal lives of his coworkers, and it was for that reason I wanted to withhold information. Spencer also deserved some privacy and confidentiality, and it was that reason I remained tight lipped on the former conversation.

-

“Hey man.” Luke tried to keep it casual but he already knew why Spencer would show up unannounced at this hour.

“Hey. Is (Y/N) here?” It was a whisper, his voice fragile as he felt his spirit more broken than he had first thought. Of all things, he felt like he lost the privilege to ask about her, to care about her.

“Yeah, she’s asleep.”

“Okay.” Spencer turned to leave, feeling like he hit a wall in what he should do next.

“Spencer. What happened?” Luke called after him.

“What?”

“Your girlfriend shows up on my doorstep crying and you don't show up until a few hours later. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Luke.” As profilers, they promised not to profile one another, but when your coworker is not giving you the answers you want, your mind tends to start noticing things, like their body language. In this moment, Luke noticed Spencer hadn’t removed his hands from his pockets, indicating he was either hiding something or maybe anxious because of something. But Luke was also smart enough to know whatever was bothering the genius was deeper than the events of tonight, he could see the way Spencer carried his troubles in his facial features.

“Are you sure?”

“Excuse me?” Spencer’s tone was getting defensive, but that still told Luke there was something under the surface getting to him.

“You were in prison Reid, for a crime you didn’t commit. You’ve been through a trauma and I can see how much you want to slip back into a time before all of this but you can’t act like it didn’t happen.”

“I know that Alvez. Do you think I don’t know that? I just…” he stared off into the night, looking at how a streetlight only illuminated a few things around it. “You can’t tell her this.”

“I won’t.”

“There are moments when I close my eyes, and I think I’m still there. Or that any minute they’ll take me back. And in those moments, I know she deserves so much better. You all do. But I can’t bring myself to be who she needs anymore and I can’t break up with her because that will ruin her.” His voice started to break at the end, a tear or two welling in his eyes before Spencer took a breath in, trying to wipe the emotion away before Luke could take notice of it.

“So, you’re trying to make it easy for her to leave you? You’re pushing her away?” While Luke was trying to understand what Spencer wouldn’t say directly, he also hoped by saying it in that way Spencer would realise what it sounded like, what he wouldn’t confess to.

“I didn’t realise I was. But then when she left, I realised how much I still needed her.”

“Luke?” Her voice broke through the silence, echoing from inside his house. “Luke, who is it?” Spencer tried not to think of this as a parallel universe but he could see it so clearly. He could see them together, living happily with the other. But every second the thought existed in his mind, it pained his heart more as that was once the life he envisioned for the two of them.

“What do you want me to say?” Luke had asked, readjusting his posture. The words caught in Spencer’s mouth, conflicted over what his intentions should be at this hour.

“I want to talk to her.” It was a whisper, Spencer almost scared of her realising it’s him. “If she’ll let me.” Luke nodded before gently closing the door, leaving it resting against the frame instead of fully secured to. He waited on the front doorstep, rocking on his feet as he watched the street around him.

“She’s willing to talk.” It was as if a wave of relief had washed over him. “But Spencer. Be honest with her. Tell her what you just told me.” Nodding, he slipped through the threshold of the front door, noticing how Luke stepped out the front door. “I’m going to wait out here, give you two some time alone.” Nodding, he moved towards the living area, finding her sitting up on Luke’s couch, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. For a moment she didn't look at him, but by the time he sat across from her on the other couch, he noticed how puffy and red her eyes were, even after she just woke up from her nap.

“Hi.” She deserved more than that, an apology and an explanation, and Spencer knew that. But he didn't know where to start.

“Hi.” (Y/N) had whispered back, her voice scratchy and worn out. His heart panged at how much he had put her through.

“I- I want to say I’m sorry.”

“For?” She croaked out, bringing her feet closer to herself on the couch, hugging her arms around them, the blanket forming a full shield around her body.

“For how I’ve been acting.”

“Understatement Spencer.”

“I know.” Tears had started to form as he recalled every terrible thing he had said or thought since he was free again. “I love you. So much. It’s just at times- I would wonder if you still loved me, or if you still wanted to be with me.” He felt the wet trail start down his cheek, and he tried to wipe it away before she noticed but she did. She always noticed. “And I think part of my mind is still back there. And I think of who I became, of what I did, and I don’t want to bring that into this.” Her eyes softened as she watched him, his fingers picking at his skin on the other hand, his knee bouncing under him. “So for a moment, I thought the best way to protect you was to push you away. But I- I was wrong. And I’m so sorry. For everything.” He now noticed she had also started to cry. When his eyes met her, she immediately averted her attention to the side of the room, watching the world outside. “(Y/N)?” She bit her lip before lowering her face into her lap, letting out more tears. Spencer took the opportunity to move over next to her, to pull her body into his, running his hand over her back and then to smooth out her hair. Placing a kiss to her head, he rocked the two of them. A hand came out of the blanket as she clutched onto his shirt. They stayed like that for a few minutes before she stopped enough to speak.

“Next time you’re going to say ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I’m wrong’, can I at least have a warning so I can record it?” A laugh escaped his lips as he pulled her tighter to him, the scent of her shampoo wafting into his nose so he may remember this moment. “You have to talk to me Spencer.”

“I know.”

“Spence, I'm serious. And if not me, then someone. You can’t carry this on your own. I know you’re strongly independent but this is the one time where you can’t do it alone. Just promise me. If not me, then someone.”

“I promise.” He pressed a kiss to her lips, taking a moment to run his thumb against her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now let’s give Luke his house back, we have to be at work in 5 hours.” She patted his knee, Spencer instantly rising to his feet to offer his hands to her, so she may take them and he could help her stand back up on her feet. Wrapping the blanket into a bundle, she placed it where she was sitting, taking hold of Spencer’s hand as they walked back towards the front door. Opening the door though, they found Luke slumped over, leaning against a column as he sat on one of the steps down. Roxie was beside him, laying down but ears perked up as she was on alert from all the night life. Her head perked back to look at the reconciled couple, tail wagging when she saw (Y/N). Reaching his hand down to their friend, Spencer gently shook Luke’s shoulder, trying to wake him.

“Hey man, we’re leaving.” Luke shook his head before he turned around to look at his friends, his eyes immediately focusing on their hands holding the other.

“You can have your house back.” (Y/N) laughed, hearing a gentle pop as Luke pushed on his knees to stand up, stretching to crack something in his back.

“Finally. Listen, I love having you guys over but if this becomes a counseling spot, I should be getting paid.”

“Oh my gosh, go to sleep Alvez.” She shoved his shoulder as he stepped back up to be on the same level as them.

“I was asleep. Out here, yet you woke me.”

“Listen, if you want us to sleep here we will. We can take Roxie inside with us and bring you that blanket-“ Spencer motioned between him and (Y/N), squeezing her hand as she fought off the laugh that was rising to the surface.

“No, no, no- I want my bed.” He motioned for Roxie to go inside, which she did, happily continuing up the staircase. Taking one last glance at the couple, a smile spread over Luke’s lips at the sight of his friends so in love with the other. “You guys have a goodnight.” The door started to close, but (Y/N) had to taunt him with one last thing.

“See you in five hours!” Luke groaned from his spot on the other side of the door, the click of the deadbolt giving the couple a sense of relief as they descended the steps, finally heading home together.

Tell me what you think here!

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #x y/n #x reader #s12 spencer reid #luke alvez #angst #ssahopelessly #oneshot #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid x you #imagine #prison spencer reid

[emmalandry]

⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆

𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝟙𝟛 ~ 𝔾𝕝𝕠𝕣𝕪ℍ𝕠𝕝𝕖

⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆

⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕓𝕓𝕝𝕖༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆

Meeting the agent on a sleazy hookup site and having him meet you at some seedy bar on the far side of town. Telling him to come into the 3rd stall in the men's bathroom and stick his cock through the only thing that trashy bar is famous for.

Their Gloryhole.

He's skeptical but follows your instructions. You're on your knees waiting when you notice the fattest cock you've ever seen poking through the hole in the stall and immediately take it into your mouth.

It's so pretty and large and theres so much precum dripping from the tip how were you meant to resist?

Licking and sucking and kissing at the length, you hear a man grunting and groaning. "Fuck..You have such a warm, wet mouth." The deep voice musters through the bathroom. You know it's Aaron.

You've heard his voice during all your late night phone sex sessions. You continue to eagerly swallow him down your throat and you can practically hear his eyes rolling back into his head.

"Gonna cum." That's all he says as you prepare for his giant load and begin to swallow him as much as you can with the wall separating you and you feel his warm seed shoot to the back of your throat.

⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆*⋆⸜ ⚘ ⸝⋆ .* ⚘ ⋆

#aaron hotchner #agent hotchner #spencer reid angst #spencer reid #aaron hotch hotchner #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner imagine #spencer reid smut #criminal minds fandom #dr spencer reid #emily prentiss #david rossi #derek morgan #luke alvez #penelope garcia #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds #hse made me feel like a criminal #kinktober

[spritehouse]

i just saw a tiktok abt "you're in the wind, i'm in the water. nobody's son, nobody's daughter" as a trans person from both perspectives feeling like a disappointment as all genders and you best believe i'm going to moreid/ralvez the fuck out of this.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #angst #derek morgan #luke alvez #moreid #ralvez #criminal minds hcs #spencer reid headcanon #derek morgan headcanons #luke alvez headcanon #lex hcs

[fuckingstrange]

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[artcake]

Can we have angsty Ralvez with Luke comforting Spencer? Like in Touch Therapy when he's hiding in the closet which reminds him of SHU :)

Touch Therapy is the penultimate ralvez fic and nothing can change my mind

#ralvez #luke alvez #spencer reid #luke x spencer #criminal minds #criminal minds fanart #spencer reid whump #angst #look you cant have a ralvez fic without the Angst and the Connection and the Absolute Trust #thank you for the ask im going to go reread it #sketch #sketch asks #500 followers #500 celebration #prompts #fan art #my art

[fortheloveofwonderland]

A War of the Heart - Chapter Two | Luke Alvez x Fem! Reader

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter Summary - things quickly come to a head between you and Luke when he forces you to talk about the past.

Category - heavy angst | smut | eventual happy ending

A/N - I watched this episode (1202 Sick Day) while I was writing this fic and I still can’t remember if Hotch was actually in it or not. So for the sake of this we will assume he was.

Content Warnings - slight argument?, swearing, build up to smut, shower sex, slightly dominant Luke, making out, mentions of masturbation, some Spencer x Reader, penetrative sex, use of “good girl”.

WC - 3.6k

Chapter Two

Present - Los Angeles, California

Hotch made a rule of not pairing you and Spencer up on cases, for obvious reasons. Most of the time you found yourself paired with Tara as the two of you worked great together. But since you and Luke had history he thought you were the best fit for him to be partnered with on this case, much to your chagrin. Of course you couldn’t make a fuss about it so silently you climbed into the passenger seat of the car while Luke got in the driver's side and the two of you headed for the crime scene. 

For the better part of the journey the two of you remained silent but you knew it was only a matter of time before you needed to speak. There had been a lot of things left unsaid between the two of you and the sooner you got it out the less awkward the whole situation would be. But where would you even begin? Your mind was racing over so many things you couldn’t pick a starting point so instead you just stayed silent and stewed on them, much like you’d been doing for the last thirteen years. Eventually, it was Luke who finally broke the silence. 

“So you and Reid, huh?” He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye as he drove. 

“What was that?” You frowned at him. 

“What was what?” 

“The tone.” You pulled a face, turning a little in your chair. 

“What tone?” Luke frowned now as he took a left turn. 

“So you and Reid, huh?” You deepened your voice, doing your best Luke Alvez impersonation which made him scoff. 

“Was that supposed to sound like me?” 

“I think it was pretty accurate. There was definitely some judgement in your tone.” 

“No judgement.” Luke shook his head. 

“But…” 

You saw Luke pull a face and roll his eyes, his grip tightening a little on the wheel 

“But…he doesn’t seem like your type.” He shrugged. 

“You don’t exactly have a well rounded knowledge of my type, Alvez.” It was hard to force yourself not to call him Sarg. You’d barely ever used his name back then. 

He’d once told you hearing you call him Sarg was a massive turn on and you used it to your advantage. It drove him wild hearing that from your lips so there was no way you’d slip up and use it now. 

“True. But I’m just surprised is all.” 

“Admittedly I do usually have a habit of going for pretty but dumb guys.” You shot him a look, a smirk tugging at your lips. 

“Ouch. That’s cold.” He put one hand to his chest but he laughed all the same. “So you’ve upgraded to pretty and a genius?”

“It would seem so.” You glanced out of the window at the LA traffic that was prolonging this conversation. 

You’d give anything for this to be over, to close your eyes and have it be this morning again and being introduced to your new team member and it not be Luke Alvez. Mostly because, and you would never admit this out loud even under torture, it was so unfair that age had caused Luke to grow impossibly more attractive. The occasional grey hair peppering his jet black locks and the small lines around his eyes and mouth made him look distinguished. His muscles seemed somehow more prominent and you’d be willing to bet he worked out just as much, if not more, than when you served together. He’d literally aged like a fine wine. And that was just so, so unfair. 

“Pretty, smart and I can only assume jealous?” He gave you a slightly amused look to which you frowned. “Oh come on, you were so quick to say we were friends. What did you think I was going to say by the way? Oh I was her boss but we were also lovers.” 

“Gross, don’t use that word.”  You scowled, prompting Luke to laugh. “Spencer can be…insecure I guess. I didn’t exactly make things easy on him, I lost count of how many times he asked me out before I finally said yes. I just didn’t think it would help matters for him to know about us.” 

“Right, so I have to just pretend that you and I don’t have a history so your boyfriend doesn’t feel insecure?” 

“Please.” 

After that the car grew silent again. You turned your attention out of the window and focused on the buildings you edged past in the slow moving traffic. The GPS display told you that you weren’t far from your destination, but how long you would sit in this jam was anyone’s guess.

It was almost fifteen minutes of silence as Luke plodded the car along and was finally able to put his foot down and drive more than five miles an hour. As the journey picked up, Luke shot you a look out of the corner of his eye, unable to contain his thoughts any longer.

“Why didn’t you call?” He mumbled, almost as if he didn’t want you to hear him. 

“Huh?” You turned back to him with a frown. 

“Last time I saw you, you said you’d call. You never did. And as you’ll recall I gave you my number but you didn’t give me yours.” 

“We had fun.” You shrugged, sighing a little. “But that was in Iraq. We weren’t going to make it in the real world. It was just…a deployment thing.” 

Luke frowned at you, a hint of hurt in his eyes which you tried to ignore. 

“A deployment thing?” He scoffed. “So telling me you loved me, was what? A lie? I don’t think you’re that good of an actress.” 

“No offence, Alvez,” you suddenly snapped just as Luke pulled the car to a stop at your destination. “But you knew me for all of nine months. You do not know me as well as you think you do. You were scratching an itch. I was lonely and touch starved and you were…you were…”

“I was what?” He shut off the engine and turned to you, anger pooling behind his eyes. 

“You were there.” You shrugged. “Let’s not pretend what happened between us was more than it was. It was just sex Alvez! Thirteen years ago! I’m with Spencer and he’s great. We have a shot at being the real deal. So you don’t get to show up here and rehash the past when that’s all it is. The past.” 

You went to turn away and reach for the door handle to get out of this car that had become stifling all of a sudden but before you could, a strong hand was on your shoulder, firmly pulling you back. 

Luke’s eyes were wild, looking at you like he’d only ever looked at you a handful of times before. A lump formed in your throat and you swallowed. 

“I’m not going to tell your precious boyfriend about us, ok? But don’t you dare sit there and tell me everything we had was a goddamn lie! I know you, Y/N, much better than you think I do. I’m sorry if my presence has thrown you but it’s thrown me too! How was I to know you worked for the BAU? You haven’t spoken to me in eight years! I’m happy for you and Reid, but I can’t just pretend you meant nothing to me and that seeing you again isn’t opening a lot of old wounds. So don’t fucking lie to me and tell me I meant nothing to you and make me feel like it was all in my head. Because it wasn’t. You don’t get to sully my memories.” 

You watched as he exited the car, throwing open his door and slamming it shut behind him, causing you to jump a little. You continued to just observe while he headed towards the crime scene tape and flashed his credentials at the beat cop manning the scene, not once turning back to you still sitting in the car. 

Maybe you hadn’t been fair to him. Maybe it was excessive for you to make out he’d meant nothing to you when in reality he’d meant everything to you. The term love of my life seemed too cliche but it was probably most apt to describe your feelings towards Luke. And what scared you most, was in seeing him again all of those feelings had come rushing to the surface like they’d been there the whole time. 

In truth, Luke Alvez was the only man you’d ever loved. And it was becoming clear he may be the only man you ever would love. 

***

2010 - Diyala, Northeast Baghdad 

“So what happens when you leave?” 

Another copter rattled the walls, this one louder than the last. Had to be a Bluebird, maybe even a Blackhawk. You couldn’t give it much thought though given your current situation. 

Luke had talked you into a second shower of the night although it hadn’t been all that difficult. Now as the two of you stood under the flow of water, Luke’s strong body was pressed up behind you, his hands running up and down your hips and his lips peppering kisses over your neck. 

“I don’t know.” You replied. You’d done nothing but think about what your reassignment would mean for the two of you but had yet to come up with any answers. 

“I love you.” He spoke against your wet skin, arms now snaking around your waist to pull you closer as his hardening cock pressed against your lower back. 

“I love you too.” You breathed. 

It wasn’t a sentiment the two of you shared often, so you knew he must be really worried about your reassignment to say it now. The first time Luke had confessed his feelings to you had been during sex, right before he’d come he’d mumbled those three words against your lips. Afterwards neither of you mentioned it and you’d carried on as normal.

It wasn’t until almost a month later when the two of you had been alone in the gym on your compound in the middle of a workout when he’d glanced over at you from his treadmill. 

“You never said it back.” 

You looked over at him with a frown from your own treadmill. 

“What?” 

Luke huffed out a breath, hitting a button on his machine and waiting for it to slow to a stop. You did the same and came to meet him in front of the machines. You both had sweat rolling down your faces, Luke’s wife beater clung to his solid chest with perspiration. He looked utterly delicious. 

“I told you I loved you and you never said it back.” He didn’t make eye contact with you and it was the most unsure you’d ever seen him. 

“I’d hoped it was implied.” You shrugged your shoulders and he finally looked up at you. 

“Implied in the way you ream me any chance you get?” His lip twitched at the corner. 

“I prefer the term “flirty banter” but yes.” 

Luke chuckled, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was around before he stepped closer to you and cupped your jaw. 

There were a handful of people who knew about your relationship, only those who needed to know. Both Reynolds and Luke’s neighbour Martinez were privy, mostly because you had to kick them out if the two of you wanted any alone time. But if the captain was to find out, it would be the end of you both. Sex between soldiers happened extremely often, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t against the rules. Especially when one of them was in a position of seniority. 

“Tell me you love me, cariño.” 

“And if I don’t?” 

He chuckled again, eyes darkening. His hand moved from your jaw to the back of your neck, gripping it hard and pulling your head back roughly. You gasped, feeling the all too familiar heat spread between your legs and wanting him to take you right here and now.  

“Tell me you love me. I won’t ask again, private.” 

“Fuck,” you swallowed thickly, his fingers digging into your neck and making your knees quake. “I l-love you, Sarg. Of course I love you.” 

It was the first time you’d ever said that to someone before and you’d meant it with your entire being. Since then you’d only ever said it a handful times, as had Luke. Which was why you knew exactly how he must be feeling in that moment. 

“I can’t imagine doing this without you.” His breath tickled your flesh and caused you to push back against him, mostly for fear you would collapse. His hold on your waist grew stronger, holding you upright. “I wish we could just leave, go back to the states and have a chance at something real. I’d marry you tomorrow, you know? I’d give it all up and I’d marry you and buy us a nice little house in the suburbs and we’d have kids and dogs and we’d be so fucking happy.” 

“But we can’t.” You felt strangely emotional, tears welling in your eyes at his words. “Because we made the decision to fight for our country. And we’re both too stubborn not to see that through.” 

He turned you in his arms and you immediately noticed the tears in his own eyes. He moved you backwards until you were flush with the wet tiled wall. He pressed his body up against yours and held your face in his large hands. 

“I want more than this.” His nostrils flared slightly. “This isn’t enough for me anymore.” 

“Sarg,” you shook your head. “I am going to Afghanistan. I love you but I loved the army first.” 

“If you go,” he choked a little as he spoke. “If you go, I don’t see a way we can be together.” 

“I know.” You agreed. “But I’m not giving up everything I’ve worked so hard for, for anyone. I’m sorry but my career will always come first.”

Luke surprised you when he chuckled dryly.

“And ironically, that’s one of the things I love most about you. I would never stand in the way of your career Y/L/N, you know that.” One of his hands moved down to toy with the ring hanging around your neck wistfully. 

“And that’s one of the things I love the most about you.” 

He let go of your necklace, suddenly slamming his hips against yours and thrusting you back hard into the tiles, a complete one eighty from how soft he’d been just moments before. You knew well enough that Sergeant Luke Alvez hated to be vulnerable, even with you, so his change in demeanour didn’t surprise you. 

He moved his hand down your body, beneath your right thigh and tugged your leg up, practically throwing it around his waist. Seconds later he roughly thrust inside of you, causing you to gasp loudly at the sensation. Luke was certainly not small and although you’d been expecting it, it didn’t make it hurt less. But god how you loved the pain. 

He buried his face into your neck, unable to look at you any longer for fear he may actually cry. Luke had always been more comfortable communicating with his body, letting his thrusts tell you all the things his words couldn’t. 

And at the moment, his message was loud and clear. You belonged to him and you always would. No matter what happened, a piece of you would always be owned by Luke Alvez. 

***

Present - Los Angeles, California

You and Spencer had a very strict no fraternisation while on cases rule. The two of you only ever hooked up when at home, not wanting your relationship to get in the way of work. 

The only problem with that was it had been a month. It had been a month since you and Spencer had been alone together, a month since the two of you had been intimate, the longest in your six month relationship. And maybe if that was the only thing, you could have waited until you were home. But it wasn’t the only factor. 

Luke’s reappearance in your life had thrown you through a loop, but not only that, had left you frightfully horny. You couldn’t look at him without thinking of those long, hot Iraqi nights spent between the sheets with him. The way his fingertips felt on your skin, the way his lips felt pressing kisses all over your body. 

It wasn’t fair on Spencer for you to use him for sex because you were craving your ex. But if you didn’t find yourself outside of his room that night, knocking on his door, you feared you may have ended up at Luke’s door instead. 

You’d tried not to give in. You masturbated three times in a desperate need to banish Luke from your sordid thoughts. But it wasn’t enough. And so you found yourself outside of Spencer’s room, ready to break your one rule. 

When he opened the door he was wearing just a pair of boxers and an old CalTech t-shirt. His hair was messy and his eyes a little bloodshot, telling you he’d been sleeping. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” You chewed on your bottom lip.

“It’s ok.” He offered you a sleepy smile. “Is everything alright?” 

“It’s been a month.” You shrugged, giving him your best sultry smirk. “I’ve missed you.” 

You watched the way his Adam’s apple dipped as he swallowed a thick lump in his throat. His eyes moved down your body, raking up and down your skimpy shorts and tank top. When they settled back on your own eyes, the tiredness had vanished. 

“We’re on a case.” He croaked, his voice cracking a little. 

“Exigent circumstances.” You shrugged again. “It’s been a freaking month.”

For a second, Spencer looked as though he may argue with you and send you away empty handed. He swallowed again, looking over your shoulder as if to check no one was around, before he took hold of your wrist and pulled you inside his room. 

As soon as the door was closed behind you, he attacked you with his lips, the most ferocious kiss he’d ever bestowed on you. It was so much more like the way Luke always used to kiss you, that desperate and hurried passion, as opposed to the gentle way in which Spencer normally kissed you. 

It wasn’t long at all before you were helping each other out of your clothes and dragging him towards the bed. Usually Spencer would spend a long time pleasuring you with his fingers or his tongue before you got to the main event but you had no patience for that tonight. 

He tried to kiss down your chest, heading south down your body to eat you out, which usually you would have been all for. But not tonight. You gripped his face as his tongue swirled around your nipple and pulled him back so you could kiss him, parting your legs and hooking them over his thighs. His hard cock nestled between your legs and you grinded against him.

“Please, Spence,” you spoke against his lips. “Please just fuck me.” 

“Are you sure?” He mumbled. 

“Yes. Yes, it’s been too long.” You arched your back, helping him line himself up. 

He pulled back from the kiss and looked down at you, questioning you with his eyes as if to make sure this was what you wanted. But you’d never been surer of anything. 

Spencer nodded his head, placing his hands either side of your head on the pillow for leverage as he pressed himself between your legs. He was slow in his movements, inching his way inside of you delicately and you wanted to scream at him to fuck you harder. But you refrained and let Spencer set the pace. At least at first you did. 

It was only a matter of minutes before you started thrusting up to meet him, digging your fingernails into his ass cheeks. You moved your lips to his ear and nibbled on the lobe.

“Spencer for the love of god, fuck me like you mean it.” You growled into his ear. 

Spencer hissed a little at your words, surprised by your request. But he didn’t deny it, he’d never deny you anything. As if some kind of switch flipped in Spencer, he grabbed your thighs a little roughly and moved them from where they were around his waist to over his shoulders. His eyes were practically black as he looked down at you, taking hold of your hips as he began thrusting hard and fast. 

You moaned so loudly the walls practically shook. You didn’t know Spencer had this in him, maybe you should have said something sooner. The way in which he roughly fucked you was so reminiscent of Luke you couldn’t help but let your eyes flutter closed and picture him on top of you. You’d promised yourself you wouldn’t, but once you saw his face you couldn’t stop. 

“You’re so good for me, Y/L/N. So fucking good for me.” His voice rang out in your ears. “My good fucking girl. Tell me what a good girl you are.” 

“I’m your good girl, Sarg.” 

You came in record time, only just biting your tongue from calling out Luke’s nickname when you did so. Spencer looked suitably proud of himself when he pulled out and rolled down next to you in the bed. 

“Damn, I didn’t know I was that good.” He chuckled, pulling you close so he could kiss your forehead. 

The tears pricked at your eyes as you snuggled against his chest to hide your face from him. What the hell were you playing at, thinking of Luke while Spencer fucked you? You were in over your head, Luke’s presence had fucked with your mind. It would get easier, you promised yourself it wouldn’t happen again. 

Taglist -

@carolinesbookworld

#luke alvez #luke alvez x reader #luke alvez x fem! reader #luke alvez x fanfic #luke alvez fanfiction #luke alvez smut #luke alvez angst #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

[beelmons]

But who is he to you? (Luke Alvez)

Luke, the one guy you met during college, before he went off to the army after dramatically dropping his degree.

Luke, who would call you every night after his departure to make sure you were taking proper care of yourself. Who would talk you down whenever you felt like quitting, and reminded you of how you were doing this for your future.

Luke, who disappeared for months after he joined the rangers, and had you praying every night for his safety. Who didn't once write to you to tell you he was okay, who had you believe the worst had happened.

Luke, who showed up at your doorstep with flowers and chocolates after years of no contact; who stood by the entrance of your home for twelve hours until you were ready to talk to him again after you had slammed the door on his face after his first attempt.

Luke, who, like a gentleman, protected you from every man at the bar that looked a bit too sketchy. Who drove you home wasted without landing a finger on you. Who sobered you up and cleaned the mess you had made, only to sleep on your couch until you woke up to make sure you were okay.

Luke, who, without fail, would show up in the middle of the night, after you called him while crying your heart out, or the pieces that were left of it, when your boyfriend confessed to you that he was still in love with his best friend.

Luke, who had, accidentally, introduced you to Spencer Reid, the very own source of your bitter tears, and now had to contain himself from beating his beloved partner up into a pulp for the pain he was causing you. Who invested his time, money, and heart in putting a smile back on your face.

Luke, the first person you called, bursting with joy, after you and Spencer had sorted it out, and had made the decision of moving in together.

Luke, who, unbenknownst to you, loved you with every pore of his skin, vein on his body, fiber of his heart, even since he was just a college kid. Who had to fake a smile as he helped you move in with another man, the one you desired in the way he wished.

Luke, who was your best friend and confidant, your knight in rusty armor, your shoulder to cry on, the guiding moonlight in the night, a comforting shadow on a sunny day. Who you would describe as your all.

Luke, who, regardles of giving his all to you, was never enough.

#luke alvez #luke alvez xreader #luke alvez x reader #i was seeing luke content and idkkkk #i needed angst #i need angst #criminal minds #luke alvez fanfiction #blurb: mine #blurb: luke #blurb: angst #i might turn this into a series hahaha i already thought what i want to do for morgan's #quick writing just so i don't lose practice while i lose my mind on the daily

[ralvezfanatic]

Vampire!Reid pushing Luke away when his feelings (or their relationship) gets stronger/serious because he's immortal, while Luke obviously isn't.

He doesn't want to get too attached to Luke because he knows no matter what, Luke will die one day and he'll be all alone again, heartbroken for who knows how long.

It's happened before. It took a few times to learn that relationships with humans, or just mortals in general, weren't a good idea.

Luke getting hurt over being pushed away because he's so hopelessly in love with Spencer, and he can't stand the thought of not being with him.

He wants to be with him so bad but he understands why he's getting pushed away, but that doesn't stop him from being hurt.

Luke trying to figure out a way to be with Spencer, but realizing the only way to be together without hurting him is to be immortal. Meaning either turning into a vampire himself, or like, sell his soul. (or idk think of some reason urself)

Both of which scared him a bit.

He didn't have a problem with vampires, obviously, he was in love with one. But being one himself? That was different.

Plus, if he was a vampire, Spencer wouldn't have anyone else to feed on again.

Selling his soul seemed a bit.. much. He loved Spencer, but of course he was scared of the slight chance of them not working out. He quite prefered having his soul.

Both of them are just torn apart over the whole situation.

Spencer is unhappy not being with Luke. He loves him, and he's one of the best things that has happened to him in his 114 years of living.

But even if he was with him for the rest of Luke's life, he would end up all alone when he died. And he couldn't even think of asking Luke to do anything to become immortal.

Luke is hurt and torn between his choices, because all of them are terrible. He needs to be with Spencer, but he isn't sure about selling his soul. Being a vampire just wouldn't work out due to Spencer feeding on him anyways.

Taglist: @starch1ldz, @the-gregster, @jaden-reid, @lover-of-books-and-tea, @gayaristocrat, @cumulo-stratus, @fuckingstrange, | Add yourself here !

i still dont know if these are imagines or not..

#a bit of angst #i think #is this angst? #idk #criminal minds #luke alvez #spencer reid #ralvez #vampire!spencer #vampire!reid #vampire!spencer reid #ralvez au #vampire!au #vampire au #vampire