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#luke obey me
boxbusiness · 25 days ago
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Fell asleep packing for a road trip I ain’t done~
2K notes · View notes
astairekin · a month ago
kabedonning with the boys
note from kin: i’m going to be trying to include luke platonically when i do these group headcanons, so his section is about him saving you from being kabedonned by two of the others rather than doing any actual kabedonning - since i couldn’t figure out a way to fit him into a kabedon scenario without accidentally making it seem romantic in some way
the dateable characters have two sections - 1. doing the kabedonning and 2. being kabedonned. luke also has two sections, but for him it’s 1. what he does when simeon kabedons you, and 2. what he does when lucifer kabedons you, relating back to those two respective characters’ sections
i make a few references to the clinginess piece here and there but i don’t think you have to have read that one to understand them
fandom: obey me!
character(s): gn! reader, lucifer, mammon, levi, satan, asmo, beel, belphie, diavolo, barbatos, simeon, luke, solomon
pairing(s): demon bros/reader, side-dateables/reader, luke & reader
warning(s): uhhhh i make a jojo reference if that counts (also this is another big one, heads up)
genre: fluff
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lucifer does kind of half-kabedon you on the daily but they don’t really count - they’re just him sidling in front of you to block off the outside world a little so that no one tries to interrupt a moment or a conversation
actual full on, aggressive hand-slam kabedons are actually quite few and far between
he typically doesn’t like doing them because it’s a very obvious ploy for attention and it kind of hurts his pride to need to go to that extent for it
also he finds them a little brutish. like, he’s all about the dominance stuff or whatever, but isn’t shoving the object of your affections into a wall kinda unnecessary?? (plus he’s a little worried he’ll hurt you by accident because demon strength and all that)
when he does do it, it’s usually to get back at you if you’ve been teasing him, or if you’ve gotten him all flustered in a public setting where he really doesn’t want to be caught looking like romeo when he first saw juliet
it’s kind of his way of trying to take control of the situation - being so flustered and unable to properly articulate all the fuzzy feelings bubbling up in him makes him feel like he’s lost all power in this situation, and while he’d probably trust you with every ounce of his actual power should it come down to it, it still makes his pride hurt a bit
the aforementioned fuzzy feelings usually translate into the whole hand-slam thing - the louder the thud (or the ‘don’, if you will), the more flustered he’s feeling
but, because he’s generally already in a bit of a tizzy by this point, it’s very easy to get him even more flustered
look in directly in the eyes. that’s it he’s gone
when he does this whole embarrassment-driven kabedon thing, he’s usually got his head bent so that you can’t see his face clearly, so you’ll have to either tilt his head back up with your hand or bend down to look up into his face. either way he’s going to implode
hopefully you don’t have any plans in the near future because once lucifer’s calmed down his heart a little bit you’re not going anywhere anytime soon
if you were anyone else you would have to have balls of absolute STEEL to have the nerve to try to kabedon lucifer
luckily you are not anyone else, so that rule doesn’t apply to you
so! lucifer generally responds to being kabedonned in three ways
1. smooth: lucifer looks at you for a moment, chuckles, then kisses you
this is the most common response because lucifer is in general a very smooth demon (when you haven’t already pre-flustered him to high heaven)
he won’t say it aloud but he very much likes it when this happens
anything that gives him an excuse to kiss you is a good thing to him tbh
2. windows system failure: exactly what it says on the tin. lucifer’s mind goes completely blank and he just stands there against the wall staring at you like ‘huh’
this is second most common and usually happens when you kabedon him while he’s preoccupied with thinking about something
his mind’s still half focused on that other thing but he’s also dimly aware that something has just happened. he’s not entirely sure what, but it sure did happen
this one usually then leads into 1 but it can on occasion lead to...
3. heart-shake: lucifer goes bright red and is unable to speak because his heart is performing a full circus acrobat routine in his chest
this is the least common response and it happens either when you’ve already been teasing/flustering him before the kabedon, or if you kabedon him particularly forcefully and/or smirk while doing it
something about you being all assertive and taking clear charge of the situation is just extremely attractive to him and he doesn’t quite know how to handle it
(you get bonus points if you flip him kabeddoning you into you kabedonning him because… good lord does that give him butterflies)
in crass terms it’s basically just a ‘holy shit that was hot’ moment
(if he’s completely honest though, lucifer has about three of those per week because you just keep finding more ways to be unbearably enchanting)
have fun trying to shake lucifer off after this response though because he gets… whew, he gets intense
mammon kabedons you on a regular basis, and he’ll do it for anything
has your attention been off him for too long? kabedon. were you being a little too nice to that other demon back there? kabedon. have you been looking especially lovely today and don’t even seem to realise it yourself and it’s driving him CRAZY whenever you do anything? kabedon.
however these kabedons don’t actually usually go like they’re ‘supposed’ to go, mostly because your reaction will usually make mammon forget that he’s supposed to be all dominant and stuff
if you get flustered by the kabedon he is just so endeared that he can’t keep it up
he can’t maintain the cool guy act if you start stuttering and like avoiding eye contact because he’s just internally screeching
he’ll last for a maximum of five more seconds and then start grinning goofily and just pulls you into a big hug
might spin you around a bit, might nuzzle into your hair, who knows?
however, if you’re unfazed, he starts getting flustered himself
he is just so weak for those eyes of yours and with you just staring at him like that… he can’t take it
he’ll stop kabedonning you at that and just kind of turn away to try to disguise the way his cheeks have flamed off, muttering something half-heartedly about how you’re no fun
pro-tip! use this chance to catch him off-guard with a kiss. trust me, he’s gonna love it. he may also overheat so much he explodes but that just comes with the territory
if you want a kiss from mammon, however, the best thing to do is to be playful about it when he kabedons you
smile, ask him what he’s doing with a little lilt in your voice, tilt your head to the side just the teeniest bit, etc, etc - nothing that’ll fluster him too much, but just enough to make him heat up a little
he’ll grin goofily back, reply with a heartfelt little one-liner, then lean in
it’s like the two of you are in a romance movie honestly, it’s just that cheesy
mammon usually starts automatically blushing pretty much as soon as you touch him, but it takes his brain a few seconds to figure out exactly how you’re touching him and— okay whoa is this happening right now???
his instinctive response once he’s caught up with what’s going on is just to clap his hands to his face
and, since we can’t see his expression right now, why don’t we take a peek inside his mind? here we go!
‘this is the best thing ever i think i’m gonna have a heart attack is this even legal how is this possible i’m gonna to die i’m gonna drop dead right here and now but at least i’ll die a happy demon’
this is a rule with mammon: whenever he’s with you, no matter how cool and collected he seems to be, his mind is almost certainly going off the rails in one way or another
whether it’s gushing about how much fun he’s having with you or how nice you make him feel or just general awed admiration
like how the light is hitting you at just the right angle and making it look like you’re glowing like some ethereal being and honestly, to mammon, you might as well be
anyway back to the kabedonning
mammon already generally thinks you are both the cutest and hottest being that there is (if you think those two traits can’t co-exist, take it up with asmo), but when you do things like this… oh boy
if you pointed one of those security infra-red scanners at him he would be entirely red, probably with very aggressive waves of red coming off of him as well
he might as well be considered a nuclear threat at this point
and, much like a lot of nuclear threats do, he’s about to blow up
figuratively speaking
whether you decide to wait the whole process out or speed it up by pulling his hands away from his face - once he’s stopped boiling over like an unwatched pot, he’s basically throwing himself at you
are you ready for all these kisses? because, fasten your seatbelt, you are GETTING them
levi’s watched romance anime. he’s read romance manga. he’s seen kabedons. of COURSE he’s dreaming of doing it himself some day
easier said than done, though, because levi’s about as good at executing romantic gestures as joseph joestar is at flying planes
he’s tried to do it so many times and every single time he chickens out last minute
and of course there’s an element of insecurity at play here, too - do you even want to be kabedonned by him? what if you find it so unattractive and repulsive that you just straight up leave him?
he’d die. he’d keel over and pass away right there. father’s gonna have to make some room because levi’s soul’s coming home sooner than expected
it’s not like kabedons are even required in a relationship for it to work, but once he’s got it into his head, he can’t stop thinking about doing it, even if it might end in failure
and then, one fateful day…
the two of you are just hanging out in his room, playing some platformer, and then lucifer calls you both down for dinner
you get up and stretch, then start making your way out the room, but levi doesn’t move
he’s so content in this little bubble that he doesn’t want you to go - he doesn’t want this warm feeling to disappear so quickly
so, just as you pause in front of the door to ask him if he’s coming, levi gets up and swiftly backs you up against the wall
then, as you ask him what he’s doing, he abruptly slaps his hand onto the wall behind you
if you’re a little stunned, levi himself is at least a hundred times more so. like, where did that come from?? it’s like some anime alpha male possessed him for a second
well he’s here now so he might as well make the most of the situation
his voice goes quiet and he leans in close, as if you two aren’t the only people in the room and you’d be able to hear him clearly anyway
“can we… stay here for a bit longer?”
well. looks like you aren’t getting any dinner today
levi has thought plenty about kabedonning you, but he’s never even considered that you might kabedon him
it just didn’t occur to him that it was even a possibility??
so when you do so for the first time, his first response is just to straight up scream
well it isn’t really a full-blown scream, it’s more of a really high pitched ‘wEH?!’
think waluigi but more short and snappy, and also a whole lot more panicked. also he’s on helium
he starts just stuttering furiously and the words he’s saying don’t… sound like words at all???
here, i’ll give you the transcript. imagine these words and sounds have been put in a blender and then sprayed out through a hose - that’s what levi sounds like saying them
“i— huh— you— hand? me? hand me? you— huh— wuh— uh— what—”
you just smile knowingly (you’d anticipated this response already) and kiss him
there’s a very long moment of stunned silence, and then levi’s off again
you’ve just turned the speed on the blender up to 100, and now it doesn’t even sound like he’s saying anything in any language at all
if you recorded this and then played it to a voice activated ai like siri, the entire device would just shut down
levi’s flustered on the regular by every other thing you do , but this is on a whole new level - and he has no idea how to deal with it
in the end he just kind of collapses forwards and hides his face in your shoulder
you laugh and pat him on the back as he grips onto the back of your shirt or jacket or jumper, still mumbling unintelligibly
you’ll have to give him a while to recover, and you might want to guide him to somewhere more comfy where you two can sit/lie down, because he’s not removing his face from your shoulder anytime soon
give him more warning next time, he nearly passed out
[five minutes later]
levi: “that was the most terrifying thing ever, i thought my heart was gonna fail ”
you: “sorry, sorry”
levi: “ it again”
out of everyone, satan’s the only one who fully commits to and properly goes through with kabedons regularly, and those kabedons usually happen in libraries
satan’s seen plenty of romantic dramas and rom-coms in his time, and he’s seen a lot of canoodling in libraries, especially when the romance is in a university or high school setting
study date meet-cutes, love interests’ hands brushing when they reach for the same book, doing some gross couple-y stuff in one of the more unpopular aisles, and, of course, kabedons
and satan’s both very easily influenced by the stuff he watches and (for some reason) can get really competitive with other couples, even fictional ones
it’s like ‘oh, you think YOU’RE a cute couple? watch and learn, you silly little baby man’
thus: he too must have a very romantic moment in a library with you, and it has to be BETTER than all those fictional couples’ moments
he has a bit of a modus operandi when it comes to the kabedons, to the point where you can usually spot when he’s planning one about five minutes before he actually does it
(it’s not that he invites you on library dates specifically because he’s planning to kabedon you in the corner at some point during it, it just often hits him halfway through said dates that this would be one great Romantic Opportunity )
he’ll not-so-sneakily get you to come with him to a quiet aisle by the wall, where he’ll start pretending to be browsing the books
then he’ll use some poor excuse to call you over (one time it was ‘hey, look, there’s a dead fly on the shelf’)
and then he executes the kabedon
it kind of gives you emotional whiplash because when he pushes you into the corner and places his hand firmly on the wall beside your head he seems so decisive and confident, but then suddenly he’s smiling all gently and leaning in
his kisses are so soft?? it’s kind of like he’s apologising for being forceful with the pushing just earlier with them
(the librarian is usually fully aware this is happening but they’re too scared of satan to intervene)
it’s unexpectedly hard to catch satan in the right situation to kabedon him because he’s usually sitting about with a book and it’s nearly impossible to efffectively kabedon someone in a chair
keyword here being nearly because you’ll be damned if you aren’t going to try
first you need to choose the right moment - the kabedon will be most effective if you do it when he’s least expecting it
so you’ll wait until he’s fully absorbed in his book - you can tell when he is because he’ll bringing the book closer and closer to his face
you’re also going to need to take into account the environment - he’s sitting on the sofa in the middle of the room, so there’s no wall to slam your hand against
thus, you’ll just have to make do with the back of the sofa itself
alright, that’s the plan done with. time to GO IN
at this point, satan’s already very dimly aware that you’re planning something - as preoccupied by his book as he is, he’s always got room in his mind to observe you
but, like i said, it’s very dimly, and he most definitely isn’t expecting you to suddenly get up and push him back into the sofa, then cage him in by slamming your hand beside his head
his first thought goes something like this: 'wuh HUH?!”
his second thought is: ‘okay. you know what. this is very attractive actually.’
his book has long since fallen out of his hands at this point, and he’s just kind of sitting there and staring dumbly up into your face, which is, like, distractingly close
then you smirk at him. how DARE????
how DARE you be so charming. how DARE you make him feel like his heart’s about to burst right of his chest. how DARE you do this and NOT immediately kiss him????????
he’s fixing that right this instant, so you better be prepared
book be damned, he’s an idiot and he’s in love, and you’re also an idiot but you’re a beautiful idiot that by some miracle of the universe is his, and he’s going to die if he doesn’t have you close within two (2) seconds
asmo’s not really a ‘kabedon’ kind of guy, he’s more of a ‘run up from behind and tackle-hug around the waist’ kind of guy
he’s not someone who needs to be in a dominant kind of position, figuratively speaking - and he finds it incredibly alluring when you take up that role, so he usually just leaves it open for you to do so
that being said, he doesn’t not enjoy being in that position either
it’s asmo, he’s into pretty much anything under the sun
to be honest he’s not entirely sure what a kabedon is because he doesn’t really watch a lot of dramas or anime or anything that might include a kabedon, he just knows that it’s a term and that it involves walls
he may be the avatar of lust but he can’t be aware of every possible romantic move out there
then one day, while out shopping together, he sees a couple in the shoe section who are decidedly not browsing the shoes
he points them out to you, something vague about how odd the way they’re standing is, and you take a look, then laugh and explain what’s going on over there to him as you move off into a different section of the shop
he seems to be pretty intrigued by the concept - he’s actually paying more attention to your explanation that he is to all the pretty suits and dresses around him, and soon enough it becomes obvious why
and then, as soon as your explanation’s over, he abruptly catches you by the wrist, backs you up against the wall, and performs the most flawless kabedon ever
like i don’t think you understand how smooth it was. if it was an x-factor performance he would have gotten the golden buzzer. if it was a strictly come dancing performance he would have gotten all tens. it was just THAT perfect
he leans forward, so that his nose is brushing up against yours, and stares intently into your eyes for a moment or two, one hand against the wall to keep you caged in and one hand slowly reaching up to touch your face
then he suddenly gives you a playful little kiss and pulls back again, beaming, and asks, “how was that?”
well, i’ll leave that up to you - how was that?
i said it just before, asmo is always just enamoured when you take charge over him, and this is no exception
you might as well start ringing the wedding bells yourself because when you do things like this asmo gets cupid-shot about ten times over
it’s actually quite the foreign feeling - asmo’s used to being the one shooting the arrows, not the one being struck by them - but he can’t say that he dislikes it
because honestly? he adores it
the fact that you can genuinely make him feel like a schoolboy experiencing love for the first time or a groom on his wedding day, the way that you can make him feel so in love - it’s just so special to him
being the avatar of lust, he’d honestly thought at one point that he wasn’t even capable of feeling genuine love for someone - that he’d only ever be able to feel desire, not real affection
but then you came along and turned just about everything he thought he knew on its head
and asmo? he couldn’t be happier
so, taking this back to the kabedon...
the instant he catches onto what you’re doing he just starts giggling furiously
it’s not like vindictive ‘haha this is so funny’ giggling or anything, it is pure, unbridled JOY
it’s like liquid happiness that’s been poured into a spray bottle and he’s just absolutely going wild with the nozzle (why does this sound vaguely euphemistic)
and asmo’s giggling is pretty infectious, so you start cracking up too
you attempt to say something reproachful to asmo for always making you lose your cool when you try to do this, and the back and forth that follows is so punctuated by laughter that the words don’t really sound like words anymore
at some point the not-words disappear and become kisses, but neither you nor asmo are ever sure when that happens
he often clings to you for a while afterwards, because moments like these are the ones he holds closest to his heart, and he always finds it hard to let them end
at this point the kabedons have kind of become an essential part of your regular affection rituals - they’re like your special little thing as a couple
beel does know what kabeddoning is, but it’s only because of levi
(he’s a good passive listener as long as he has a decent supply of food throughout whatever he’s listening to, so levi often rants to him about anime and stuff)
and he’s not particularly opposed to the idea, but it can’t be said that he definitively wants to do it, either
beel doesn’t usually have any concrete ideas about what he wants in terms of affection, whether it’s about what he wants to do or what he wants you to do. he just kind of takes each moment as it happens, and counts any acts of affection that he does get to receive or perform as a blessing
still, it doesn’t mean he’s never going to do it. it’s just only going to happen once and then he’ll probably forget it’s a thing he can do for the rest of time
what is that one time? well i’ll tell you right now
you and beel are just having a merry old time in the kitchen attempting to make cream puffs from the recipe barbatos gave you, and at one point or another, you managed to get a sizeable dollop of cream on your nose
beel has already been having a hard time refraining from eating the ingredients throughout the whole baking process, and this is just the last straw
he likes food, that’s obvious enough, but he also likes you, devastatingly so
put the two together and what do you get? the demonic equivalent of a carrot on a stick!
beel just starts shadowing your every step around the kitchen, while you remain completely oblivious to the hole he’s staring through your face
in the end he has enough of beating around the bush and just suddenly backs you up against the counter
now this isn’t the beel you know. WHO is this suddenly assertive and intimidating demon and WHERE is your sweet boy
oh! here he is! he’s swiping the cream off your face with his thumb and then kissing you on the tip of your nose :>
the kabedon’s over as soon as it begun, really, and it’s a very fleeting moment, but it definitely happened, so you can say that much
beel is hard to kabedon because he just won’t notice he’s being kabedonned - you’re gonna have to explicitly tell him what’s going on
and even then he usually doesn’t really react, he just kind of stands there like ‘is this what’s happening right now? okay.’
beel only really gets properly flustered by a select few things, and unfortunately this isn’t one of them
that doesn’t mean he dislikes it when you kabedon him - you have to get close to him to perform them, after all, and that’s always a good thing in his books - he just doesn’t have any particularly strong feelings it happening
that being said, he’ll gladly play along with your little charade if it makes you happy, and if he realises that you like it when he responds to these kabedons in a certain way, he’ll keep doing it
one of his favourite things to do when you back him up and try to look all intimidating is to just scoop you up into a giant bear hug
you’ll immediately drop that act and wriggle half-heartedly in faux-protest, though you’re definitely wrapping your arms around him as well
he also figures out at one point or another that if he just acts surprised/clueless, you’ll usually end up giving him a kiss, and he is ALL about those
(sometimes he just immediately kisses you himself when you kabedon him and you get all flustered and he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever)
now, those astute among you will have noticed that i said usually beel doesn’t really react. usually doesn’t mean always, so what happens those other times?
well, every now and then, beel responds to being kabedonned with just OUTRAGEOUS happiness
actually it’s not so much the kabedon itself that has this effect on beel, it’s just the act of affection itself
like i said before, beel usually takes each act of affection as a blessing as it comes, but every now and then they hit him hard and he’s just like ‘WOW i am in love!!’
it’s like you got a shot of serotonin and just injected it straight into his brain and it’s the best feeling ever
your love hits better than any drug ever could and that’s a FACT
does it still count as kabedonning if it’s against a bed instead of a wall and you do it with two hands?
i’m pretty sure kabe means wall in japanese but you know what i’ll count it a kabedon, it has the right vibes
anyway, belphie probably kabedons you the MOST out of everyone
he’ll do it to get you to lie down to take a nap with him - like he’ll just push you down onto the mattress, hover over you for a moment with an oddly serious look on his face, then just collapse on top of you and go to sleep
you probably won’t be able to get him off anytime soon and anyway the way he’s just hugging you close is very cute, so you might as well stay put
(plus if you do push him off he’s probably just going to get up and plonk himself on top of you again)
(in case it wasn’t already obvious, these instances all involve a ‘maximum cuddle overdrive’ mode belphie)
he’ll also do it to wake you on the rare occasion that he’s up before you - you’ll open your eyes to find a shadow over you and next thing you know belphie’s attacking your face with little kisses
it’s a nice way to begin the day and it seems to make belphie very happy as well, which is a bonus
i don’t know where belphie gets the strength to basically just plank over you, sometimes for minutes at a time (i can’t even plank for thirty seconds), but i guess it’s just sheer willpower/need for cuddles
sometimes he’ll just do it for no reason at all, he just ‘felt like it’ - like you’ll both be hanging out in the attic, messing around on your D.D.D.s or doing some homework, and he’ll suddenly just push you over and do his bed-kabedon thing
it’s one of the ways he tries to get you to pay more attention to him when he doesn’t think he’s getting enough
though when belphie’s in ‘maximum cuddle overdrive’ mode, no amount of attention is ever enough. like he’ll want cuddles even while he’s GETTING cuddles
belphie isn’t upright enough of the time to be properly kabedonned very often
however, do not fear! it’s a very easy feat to just use his bed-kabedon trick on him
fair warning, though, it might not give you the result you’re looking for - if you want to fluster him, a bed-kabedon won’t work because he’ll just respond by immediately wrapping his arms around your neck and pulling you down into his chest
and then you most likely won’t be able to move for a while because now that belphie’s decided you will be his cuddle buddy for the remaining duration of his nap, he will NOT let go
belphie, much like beel, can only be properly flustered by some very specific things, and once again, kabedons aren’t one of those things
he’s hard to fluster in general because he’s nearly always half asleep so his brain doesn’t process things enough to get flustered
like, say you manage to catch him standing for long enough to properly kabedon him. he doesn’t process the kabedon, he just processes that you touched him and are very close now and thinks ‘ah. kiss time’
it can get a little irritating because he’s not taking you seriously but he also smiles a very cute little smile and he does give you kisses anyway so you GUESS it’s okay
if belphie picks up that you seem to REALLY be into the whole kabedon thing, he’ll try to play along, but he acts it out so poorly so it just feels like he’s making fun of you
like you’ll back him up against the wall and everything and he’ll be like [holding hands up in surrender] “oh nooo please be gentle i am but a flustered boy. also you look very nice today have i told you that yet’
(i’m paraphrasing here but that’s basically what he’s saying)
he doesn’t mean to sound so sarcastic, but the way his voice naturally sounds + his bad acting just makes it come off like that
oh no now he’s made you grumpy
“nooo don’t be sad ur so cute aha”
i’m kidding i’m kidding, he doesn’t say that
but he does feel kinda bad now so he’ll probably spoil you a bit if you want him to
i’ll be frank with you, diavolo has NO idea what a kabedon is or how it works
for one thing he’s never really been into the sort of media that shows a lot of kabedonning, and for another diavolo just isn’t great with what’s ‘down with the kids’ these days
as far as he’s concerned about how dating/seduction works, the most romantic thing you can do is sword-fight anyone who tries to steal your sweetheart away, like a medieval knight
(he still has yet to do this himself but that’s mostly because everyone’s too scared of the demon lord to even think about going after his beloved, so he doesn’t get the chance to propose sword fights very often)
even if you did spend ages explaining the concept of kabedons to him, he’d probably just accidentally push you over or something while trying to do it
and then he’d spend five minutes apologising profusely and offering all sorts of treasures and treats to you so that you won’t be mad at him
diavolo just cannot have you be upset with him, it physically hurts his soul
anyway even after your explanation he still doesn’t quite get it - like, what’s the point? why do people do it? why do people enjoy getting shoved into walls???
so you try familiarising him with them by watching a couple of romance animes/dramas or whatever it is that kabedons appear in most frequently together
and every single time a kabedon happens he just turns to you with the most ‘?????’ expression you’ve ever seen
his entire face scrunches up and he just kind of looks like he’s eaten a really sour lemon
now that you’ve given him the challenge, though, he’s determined to get it right at least once, if only just to make you happy (have i ever mentioned how much he likes it when you’re happy? it makes his heart do the smiley emote)
unfortunately he still has yet to successfully pull of a kabedon, despite having tried it like five times by now
the first time he did actually accidentally push you over, the second time he fell over himself, the third time he knocked a painting off the wall… it just keeps going wrong
give him time, he’ll get there eventually
you know how earlier i mentioned that diavolo doesn’t understand why people enjoy being kabedonned? well once you do it he has an epiphany
THIS is why people kabedon each other. THIS is why so many people want to be kabedonned. THIS is why they enjoy it
sorry was that a bit too strong
it makes his heart go WHOOSH right into the hemisphere (or the devildom equivalent anyway)
it’s like one of his heartstrings is tied around your little finger
on any occasion you’re still tugging at it and making him all soft like a marshmallow, but when you do things like this, you’re doing the equivalent of tying that string to a rocket that’s about to take off
diavolo has ASCENDED (celestial realm watch out because the demon prince is about to bust through your floor)
he always responds by covering the bottom half of his face with one hand and blushing furiously, but he’s also got a massive grin (he’s partially hiding it with the hand, but when diavolo smiles like this he does it with his whole face, so you can still tell)
look, it doesn’t matter if you’re on the smaller side and not very intimidating. it still hits him like a truck that’s on fire
diavolo’s so dazed and basically high on the love feeling that he’ll probably agree to anything you ask him while kabedonning him
like you could probably ask him to dissolve the rad and replace it with a giant pancake restaurant or something and he’d just nod like “yes absolutely, whatever you want”
you’re not evil though so you don’t really take advantage of this agreeableness for much other than getting him to promise to buy you some more of a snack you like or something
(though you wouldn’t really need to kabedon him to get him to agree to that, he’d agree to do so any day, any time)
barbatos has witnessed you kabedonning his boss multiple times and every time he is impressed even more by the sheer effect you have over his young master
would you be surprised if i told you barbatos also doesn’t know what a kabedon is? probably not
unlike diavolo, though, once you explain what they are, he nails it perfectly
i mean what were we expecting it’s barbatos
the thing is that they feel kind of… robotic? like, it’s too perfect, too by the book, too exact to ones you see in anime - it’s like he looked at a step-by-step guide and followed every single word by the letter
and barbatos doesn’t do anything except for the kabedon, either - he’ll back you up against the wall, put his hand on the wall for a bit, stare at you, then just walk off again
it doesn’t help that he usually executes these kabedons when he’s still in the middle of working and just happens to pass by you, so it’s not like he can linger for long anyway
it’s like he doesn’t really understand that a kabedon is more than just about the kabedon, it’s about what you do with the situation the kabedon creates… if that makes sense
but then one day something changes
it’s evening, which means barbatos is officially on break, and the two of you are spending it taking a nice walk around the castle’s gardens
he’s just listening silently to you talk with this little smile on his face, and then that smile slowly starts becoming more thoughtful
there’s just something about the way you look in the dim light of the garden, surrounded by all these lovely flowers (though of course you are the loveliest of them all), and how content you seem to be and the feeling of your hand in his…
might as well call you fergalicious because you make this boy go loco
he subtly starts backing you up against one of the hedges, just staring real intently into your face like he usually does with the robot kabedons… except this time the intense stare becomes a gentle smile and he kisses you
it’s not a proper kabedon since it’s a hedge and he doesn’t do the hand slam (no kabe and no don, truly a tragedy), and also he didn’t really do it with the intention of it being a kabedon… but spiritually i’m counting it as one anyway
let me warn you now: kabedonning barbatos is a real bad idea. and it’s not because he’ll get irritated or anything
it’s because he passes out. no i am not joking
you back him into the wall and he hits the floor before your hand can even hit the wall
barbatos is a vanilla boy, perhaps even more so than simeon, which is pretty surprising in and of itself. i mean, a demon being less knowledgable about love than an angel, beings which literally have to live by chastity as a law?
it’s true that they’ve both been around for a while, but simeon’s been acquainted a whole host of beings with all sorts of personalities and interests and heard a bunch of weird stories over the year
barbatos on the other hand has always been kind of sheltered compared to him - being such a busy guy, he doesn’t get to go out into the world very often or meet a lot of people
and diavolo isn’t exactly a paragon of romantic knowledge either
anyway! this is why he immediately keels over when you kabedon him
he isn’t used to feeling such a sudden rush of attraction - he isn’t even completely used to having that constant warmth that pools inside him whenever he thinks of/is around you
love is a very foreign thing to barbatos, and so is this sort of… desire??? is that the word??? i don’t want to use arousal it sounds kind of weird
and his body has no idea how to handle it, so it just shuts down immediately
diavolo was concerned about this at first but since he realised that the passing out doesn’t really have any negative after-effects, he stopped getting so alarmed
now he just thinks it’s the funniest thing in the entire world
barbatos himself doesn’t hold it against you, but he would prefer that you at least refrain from knocking him out while he’s still working
(although every time he passes out like this he wakes up to you taking care of him, which is definitely not a bad thing… so maybe… it’s alright if you do it every now and then)
believe it or not, simeon is proficient at the art of the kabedon
he wasn’t at first but he is now because he just keeps doing it
in the beginning it was just a fun little thing that he saw in a tv show and wanted to give a go, but then he also started doing them whenever he wanted attention, and whoa, is this really your angel???
so let’s get into that!
simeon’s a drama queen when it comes to not getting enough of your love, and he’s not ashamed to show it
it’ll usually start out with not-very-subtle body language - shifting about to place himself closer to you, fiddling with his hands, sighing loudly and then looking at you pointedly, etc.
then, if you continue to not give him the affection he seeks, he'll start calling - i.e. he’ll cup his hands around his mouth (even though you’re both sitting pretty much next to each other) and be like “heyyyy! your angel’s over here!!! and he wants love!!! heyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!”
if that doesn’t work he moves onto poking you every few seconds and waiting for a response
and if that still doesn’t work, he pulls it out… the kabedon
it’s like he suddenly flips a switch - his entire demeanour just changes without so much as a warning
the playfulness completely disappears, and he leans in real close as well, smile gone and replaced with a very intimidating stare
he doesn’t say anything for a good while, and to be honest it kind of feels like he’s sizing you up to perform a murder
of course simeon doesn’t do that though
when he thinks he’s stared for long enough, he’ll pull back a bit, then tilt his head just little to the side and ask, “you’ll pay attention to me now, right?”
gonna be honest you don’t really feel like you have a choice
once you nod (or, even better, lean forward and give him a kiss), he immediately lights up
it’s like the switch has flipped back, and he beams so happily (and innocently) that you kind of forget what just happened - and he does a good job distracting you with all the affection as well
i did mention earlier that simeon is more knowledgeable in these fields than barbatos, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t also react very strongly to being kabedonned
he doesn’t pass out but he gets damn close
you don’t understand how he be both so suave when kabedonning you and immediately turn into an anime schoolgirl with her first crush as soon as the tables are turned
don’t dish it out if you can’t take it, c’mon man
between this and the fact that he took nearly a month to be able to cuddle in bed with you without turning into a human torch,  it’s becoming clear that simeon will just combust whenever you do anything that has even the most remote risqué connotations
he’s fine with hugs and kisses and stuff but place a hand on his thigh or something and he immediately gets so hot that he probably manages to speed up global warming a bit (an even more impressive feat considering you’re not even in the human world)
and i guess kabedons fall under the category of risqué to him???
to be fair this extremely flustered response comes mostly when you do the kabedons in a kind of dominantly flirty manner (idk how to put it)
you can practically hear a lid popping off,  like he’s a kettle that’s over boiled
he can’t even say anything, all he can do is stand there attempting to hide his face with his hands
and then he gets even more flustered when you lean in real close and start whispering to him to try to coax him to let you see his face
you wanna know how you can surprise him enough to get him to lower his hand? see that gold metal-ribbon thing keeping his cloak fastened? give it a tug. that’s it, just a nice firm yank
would you look at that! i don’t think i’ve seen that many shades of NEON PINK in my life before!!
(this is absolutely a call out, WHY is simeon’s in-game blush PINK???? they did a darker red for mammon, so why didn’t our angel lad get the same treatment?????)
when he sees simeon kabedonning you—
the first time he saw this happen luke genuinely thought simeon was attacking you
he walked into the living room just as simeon backed you up against the sofa and just screamed
simeon didn’t even have the grace to pull away, he just looked up at and waved hello like what he was doing was perfectly normal
i mean, it kind of is, but luke doesn’t know that - all he knows is that he’s pinning you to the sofa, what the fuck simeon
“what are you doing?! simeon! let go!!!”
he actually hurries in and attempts to wrench simeon off you himself, and the older angel just lets him since 1. he thinks it’s cute how protective he’s being, and 2. he’s too busy laughing to resist
luke somehow doesn’t notice simeon absolutely losing it and immediately checks on you like a worried mum
you’re very close to bursting into laughter yourself, but you collect yourself once you realise how genuinely concerned luke looks
you reassure him that you’re fine, but he doesn’t relent immediately - he starts patting down your arms and asking if it hurts anywhere
then simeon starts getting up and starts to say something, and luke immediately throws an arm out in front of you
“stay back! i— i won’t let you do anything! even if it’s you, simeon!”
that’s it simeon’s on the floor again
he just thinks it’s so funny that luke’s reacting like this to a kabedon
you also think it’s pretty amusing but it’s also very heartwarming to know that luke would be willing to fight one of his own if he needed to protect you
in the end you both explain what was going on to luke (well, you did most of the explaining, simeon was still too giggly to speak coherently)
he doesn’t really get it, but he does now understand that seeing a kabedon in action probably means that something Romantic is about to happen and he does not want to see that
nowadays when he walks into a room and sees simeon kabedonning you he just immediately walks out again
when he sees lucifer kabedonning you—
imagine you’re luke in this situation. you've just gotten back an essay with top marks, and you’re looking for your favourite parental/sibling figure to show them and also thank them for helping you write the esay
so you ask your other favourite parental/sibling figure, and he says that he saw them in the library earlier
so off you go to the library, full of youthful joy! but what do you see when you open the door to the library? lucifer himself, the avatar of pride and diavolo’s right hand man, has your favourite parental/sibling figure cornered against the wall!
luke doesn’t even register that lucifer is actually the flustered one here (read back to his part if you’ve already forgotten), he just sees a big demon trapping you and gets immeasurably angry
he immediately takes up a battle stance, one hand pointing at lucifer and the other one clenched in front of his chest and beginning to crackle with angelic magic
“let them go right now!”
lucifer kind of freezes, while you peek around at luke from under his arm, a little concerned
this is one heck of an overreaction, not to mention that this situation could have been very dangerous for luke if lucifer was genuinely attacking you somehow
but luke doesn’t care that his magic probably wouldn’t even give lucifer a cut or that lucifer could squish him like a bug if he really wanted to, he just wants to protect you
it’s so sweet but also unnecessary in this situation becuase lucifer wasn’t attacking you - quite the contrary, actually
lucifer is refusing to look at luke because he’s still blushing and he doesn’t want him to see, so you just quickly reach up and pat his shoulder or something, maybe give him a little kiss on the cheek, then quickly go to calm luke down and clear the situation up
and once he’s recovered from the surprise of the situation (and gotten rid of the blush), lucifer will also come up to join the explanation
luke kind of bristles a bit at him and while lucifer might have been offended by the whole thing on any other occasion, he’s in a good mood today, so he just thinks it’s rather funny
for some reason, no matter how much he tries to avoid it, solomon always breaks something whenever he kabedons you
it’s like there’s a kabedon-god watching from up in the heavens, and they’re personally giving him the middle finger
and, speaking of fingers...
one day solomon’s experimenting with some ‘creative’ magical devices, among which is a ring that’s meant to cause a very small explosion if the stone in it is pushed down
he puts it on to make sure there aren’t any malfunctions or whatever, and at that moment you walk into the room with a hot drink for him
you have this kind of effect on solomon where, every now and then, he’ll look at you and get so overwhelmed that he practically forgets his own name
it’s like your very presence is enamouring enough that it dims everything around you in comparison, and solomon is a moth to your flame
you put the mug down on the table and give him an encouraging little kiss on the cheek, then begin to walk out
and solomon, forgetting that this always ends in disaster, decides to kabedon you before you can leave
and what else has he forgotten? that’s right! the explosive ring!
it’s a little bit too big for him, so it’s spun around on his finger, meaning that the stone is on his palm side when he slams his hand onto the wall, and you can probably see where this is going
solomon accidentally activates the explosion mechanism, realises just in time to wrench the ring-wearing hand away and cast a shielding spell over you with his free hand, then BANG
rip solomon’s left hand
the explosion enchantment on the ring wasn’t very strong, so the damage really isn’t that bad - his skin’s just a bit burnt, mostly - but the finger that the ring was on got the full brunt and recoil of the explosion, which unfortunately means that it’s now broken
the kabedon curse continues to ruin everything...
solomon can easily fix himself up with a spell, but instead he chooses to be as dramatic as possible about it so that you’ll fuss over him >:)
the kabedon god must really hate solomon because the curse carries over to when you try to do it to him as well
you don’t break things, though, no no no, that’d be too easy
instead, every time you kabedon solomon… he has a nose bleed
ok so this may not be so much the kabedon as it is solomon himself, but EVEN SO! i that trope has been scientifically disproven! people don’t actually get nosebleeds when they’re flustered, so obviously this is the curse’s doing
at one point you suspect that he might somehow be doing it on purpose just to fuck with you, but solomon is adamant that he can’t control this
i mean, come on! why would he want to interrupt a kabedon, a prime opportunity for some affection?? it’s just illogical
solomon himself HATES this, but he just can’t do anything about it
at this point he’s genuinely upset that these things happening and just wants ONE kabedon to go successfully
it doesn’t help that levi’s recently been pestering him to watch this romance anime with a very prominent kabedon scene and it just… ugh why can’t HIS kabedons go like that
he wants that quiet kind of charged romantic moment!! he wants that flustered laughter!!! he wants that kiss!!!
but NO, kabedon god just keeps shooting him in the foot
one time another couple was in the library with you two and just as one of them kabedonned the other, the one being kabedonned announced that they were breaking up with them
you and solomon had a bit of a crisis after that - like, is the curse so bad that it’s affecting other people around you as well???
at this point you and solomon should probably just stay away from all kabedon-related things in general
but you know what? that’s fine
you don’t need kabedons to get kisses, and solomon sure as hell isn’t going to stop wanting/giving those
take that, kabedon god! we don’t want your stupid cliche moment anyway!
but if either of you are watching anything and a kabedon scene comes up, you’re both immediately either turning off the device or just leaving the room entirely
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pandora-daughterofeve · 15 days ago
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This is the meanest fucking thing the game has let me do oh my god.
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betrayal dot jpeg
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unholysimp · 8 days ago
Demon Brothers: Pay attention to me, MC! I should be your only man! Ignore my brothers, in fact ignore anyone who isn’t me. *jumps on fucking bed* I shall never let you know a moment’s peace unless you declare your undying love for me daily! *backflip* You love me right? Of course you do. *juggles knives* Tell me you love me right now MC. Do it. Tell. Me. You. LOVE ME!! *fucking tears a hole in the space-time continuum* *Barbatos sobs in the distance*
Now-Dateables: Oh hi MC, would you like a slice of cake and a cup of tea? You can sit next to me if you like, don’t feel you have to though. Haha, joking…unless? 🥺 Haha, nah I really am joking. Sit wherever you’re most comfortable. May I hold your hand? You don’t have to say yes, spending time with you is enough. Ah, what a perfect afternoon.
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boxbusiness · 18 days ago
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It’s friday in Texas so here ya go~
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obeythebutler · a month ago
Hello!! So there’s a part in S3 where Solomon gifts MC a ring for their protection, and I was wondering if I could request for the brothers’ reaction to seeing it happen and they misunderstand it to be Solomon proposing? Like they see him take out the ring and jump to that conclusion, but really it’s just a protective talisman Solomon’s giving MC as a concerned mentor and bestie lol
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Brothers Assume Solomon Is Proposing to MC
Nothing like Solomon giving you a talisman to bring you good luck. The ways of the magic man are strange but endearing all the same. But when he slides the ring on your finger, to others, it looks like a proposal, and guess who walks in at that exact moment?
Listen, the documents in his hand were crumpled under his grip because why is Solomon giving a ring to MC and sliding it over their finger like one does during a proposal?!
With an uncharacteristically loud cough he alerts the pair, and when he sees Solomon's smile the demon almost bursts a blood vessel.
That grin, that grin on his face is irritating Lucifer even further! Why didn't anyone tell him that Solomon was proposing, or that MC and him were in a relationship?!
But then he gets told that it's a talisman and not a ring...
Lucifer immediately straightens up and takes away MC with the excuse of their turn for dinner duty. All the while his hand was gripping their shoulder rather tightly...
You aren't fooling anyone Lucifer, we know you're jealous and will spoil MC and get them a ring too....
He's never interrupted anyone so fast. On seeing Solomon slide the ring on MC's finger, he's already springing in front of them and shouting in Solomon's face because that's HIS MC!!!
It takes him while through the screams and his own shocked brain to comprehend that MC is just getting a protective talisman and not a proposal.
So that's a talisman and not a ring? Oh, he was just inspecting the ring and it's quality! He wasn't bothered about worrying over Solomon's proposal!
He's spluttering, blushing when Solomon inquires why he's so concerned over MC, and by that point Mammon is dragging MC home while not daring to look them in the eye...
No one will put a ring on MC's finger except for one.
MC may find an array of gifts in their room now, because when the Great Mammon is there to protect you why do you need a ring?!
His D.D.D. fell out of his hand when he saw the sight of Solomon sliding the ring over MC's finger. The strangled gasps from Levi made the pair turn around only to see a bewildered Levi staring at them like they were an abomination.
A barrage of questions immediately followed, and it was very evident that Levi was jealous. One could swear his eyes resembled that of snake, peering into their souls....
But then Solomon told him that it was a talisman and not a 'proposal'...
Stuttering Levi is back. What do you mean he was jealous? He wasn't at all! He doesn't care for normies!!
And before you know it Levi's out and back into his room, not darling to come out until MC comes and sees him.
Even then, he won't stop sulking...and wait, are those Ruri-Chan rings for two....?
The book in his hand would have fallen if not for his tight grip on seeing the pair propose. Why was Solomon sliding a ring over their finger—it's a proposal!!!
With an awkward 'hello' he turned their attention towards him, and MC greeted him casually, as if nothing had happened?! Solomon just proposed to them and they're acting as if it's no big deal?!
He didn't even notice the two were in love! His heart might have broken a little now....
But when he saw the ring on MC's finger only then did he realize it was a talisman and not a proposal....
MC, can you go to the bookstore with him? He's not jealous, he swears! He's not blushing too!!
Satan may or may not have placed a small curse on Solomon. Well, petty revenge is satisfying on its own!
His mouth flew open on seeing Solomon slide the ring over MC's finger. Asmodeus didn't make a sound, only stood there gaping at the pair.
Only when did Solomon and MC turn their attention towards him, Asmodeus let out a high-pitch scream that could have shattered all the windows nearby....
A barrage of questions followed. Why didn't they tell him they were in love? Why wasn't he invited to witness the proposal?! He loves MC too!! Not fair to keep them all to himself!! Asmo's your friend too!
But then he found out it was a talisman and not the event he had assumed, and Asmodeus visibly calmed down after that.
Except, that he invited MC to go on a shopping trip with him and brought them a ring, come on, MC needs to have something from him too!
His hunger vanished for a moment when saw the ring being slid over MC's finger...
Beel's worried, for he dislikes Solomon's cooking and MC then you'll have to do all the cooking because his food is not at all edible.
He's happy for them, though he doesn't quite approve of Solomon it's their choice nevertheless, and Beel isn't going to interfere.
But when he congratulates them on the proposal they both shoot him a weird look and when he sees the talisman it clicks.
It's thoughtful of Solomon to give MC the ring, but with Beel around he'll ensure no harm comes to MC. No harm.
Beel's glad it was all a misunderstanding, but he's hungry now. Would you like to accompany him to the cafe MC? He wants to eat some food with you..
He wanted to find a place to sleep but didn't expect to stumble upon this!
His eyes immediately widened as he stared at the pair and when MC and Solomon looked at him puzzled the first thing that came out of his mouth was: "What the fuck."
He doesn't approve of Solomon! He's shady! And what's up with his cooking?!
But then he was told it was a talisman and not a proposal....He still doesn't approve of the ring...
Oh, so that's what the ring is. Well, everything has been done, so come accompany him for a nap now, will you MC?
All the while he was shooting Solomon a glare...
Belphegor's grip is going to be extra tight so that MC can't leave. Nap with him and you'll be safe..
That's a marriage proposal! Congratulations and best wishes for the future!
When Solomon and MC stared at him weirdly Simeon got confused. Angel boi doesn't realize that it's a talisman and not a proposal.
Only when he's shown the ring does he realize it's for protection, and blushed while apologizing for his sudden actions.
He couldn't control it! Having MC and Solomon together is surely going to cause chaos but Simeon assumed they were in love!
Although he now wonders what would happen if they were indeed together...and then Simeon starts shivering when he imagines what the state of the house would be...
He just wanted to give MC the cookies he baked! What is this that's he's witnessing instead?!
Solomon isn't a bad person, but his cooking makes Luke tremble! Imagine the state of the kitchen when Solomon leaves it....
He's ramming himself between you two, demanding why he wasn't informed about this relationship earlier and why is he only seeing this now.
Only when Solomon tells him it's a talisman does Luke calm down. He wasn't worried at all! It's just that he was angry at not being told earlier!
May or may not have tried to give Solomon cooking lessons after that, because please make at least one edible thing in the kitchen that won't kill anyone...
We all know how it ended. In fire and a spoon growing to the size of a dragon.
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alice-revolution · 7 days ago
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<artist: 2020hyk│ひよこ│ggg_p008>
permission to post was granted by the artist.
editing and reposting in any platform (FB, Pinterest, WeHeartIt, etc) are prohibited. please kindly like and retweet their arts on Twitter, Pixiv and Instagram.
✿  luke’s bday event scenario
admin fluffy ( ◞・౪・)
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lulucioles · 22 days ago
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I'm moving out of state! So I'll be on hiatus for a little while, but in the meantime, the obey me boys are taking a road trip to visit MC's new place in the human world! (′ꈍωꈍ‵)
Based on x
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boxbusiness · 4 days ago
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Let’s pray properly now~
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millkiii · a month ago
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are you guys going to his sleep over??? cause i am 🤨
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also luke appreciation bc i never have ideas for him💔
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fluffimemes · 8 days ago
Lucifer: One day you could be a parent.
MC: One day? I am a parent.
Lucifer: Luke doesn’t count.
MC, slamming their hands on the table: He is MY SON!
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nais-doodles · 7 days ago
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Eid is tomorrow for me so Eid Mubarak! Have some doodles bc I didn’t have time to draw a full piece this time around
Here’s what they were wearing last Eid
In case you can’t read my handwriting, it’s transcribed below.
1: So uhh... did anyone else know we were supposed to get new suits or...?
2: Asmo did say we were forgetting something. Ava and Belphie are on the phone with Noor and Barbatos at the moment
3: Barbatos pulling through with the thobes ❤
4: Satan asked why Barbs didn’t get stuff for everyone? Also Noor your Barbs soft spot if showing lmaooo
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boxbusiness · 11 days ago
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Plot Twist Spud and Luke are long lost twins~
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moemoemammon · a month ago
Can you do the ‘look it’s us!’ with the undateables
"Look! It's Us!"
(Feat. GN!MC and the Dateables)
(Pt. 1 with the brothers here)
✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦
Diavolo always enjoys taking little strolls through the shopping district. It really makes him feel like he's one with the common folk! And with you at his side, he's even more eager to explore every little shop.
The Prince has an affinity for things that are small and cute, so he's quick to pull you off to a little store that sells stuffed animals and cute trinkets. Maybe he could get something for Lucifer?
But that thought is pushed aside when you call for his attention, and proceed to press the faces of two stuffed bears together as if they're kissing. "Look, it's us!"
Diavolo never thought it’d be a human that would murder him. You basically blasted a cute beam straight through his heart and he can't even stop himself from literally PICKING YOU UP into a hug-
"MC, your charms know no end! If you keep this up, I won't be able to hold myself back! That is to say, I'd like to buy this store's entire stock for you, if that's alright? Hm? That's too much?"
He's seen the way the Demon Prince eyes these shops when they pass, so why not buy him a little present? He also wanted to enjoy your company, so this was the perfect excuse for an outing.
It's funny to see someone as mysterious as Barbatos shopping in the Devildom's equivalent of a Hello Kitty store, but the butler got a little tip that there may or may not be Lord Diavolo plushies sold here, and it's a butler's duty to procure all of their Master's merchandise.
He figured he’d buy one of those on top of a gift for the Prince, but he was ultimately distracted when you stole his focus with an act so cute it should be outlawed.
Barb covers his mouth with a gloved hand, and it almost looks like he's deep in thought. But the blush slowly creeping up on his face is enough to tell you that's not the case at all.
"Ehem... You must like those toys, yes? Why don't we buy them? I'd like to keep one for myself if you don't mind. Even I have an interest in things like this, especially when they have a connection to you. Is that odd?"
Of course Simeon wouldn't turn down an opportunity to spend time with you! He considers bringing Luke along as well, but... the little guy's been slacking on his school work.
So that means the adults get to go out today! And what better place than the cutesy little store that's recently become popular? Simeon was surprised that such cute things could be found in the Devildom.
But they don't compare to your cuteness at all, especially after the stunt you just pulled. You press two stuffed animals together for a fluffy kiss, and the angel feels as if he's been visited by God himself.
His heart is full and warm, and he's torn between avoiding eye contact and holding your hand. So why not both? Don't mind as he casually kisses your knuckles-
"MC, that's adorable. Why don't we bring those home? Though I wonder if those brothers will be jealous... Let's just keep this as a secret between the two of us, hm?"
Luke (platonic)
You're not inviting him to this store because you think he's a child, right? No, you wouldn't do that! Unless those demons were rubbing off on you..?
Once Luke gets past his pouty 'I'm not a child!' phase, he's actually HYPED to be here. He's always wanted it come, but he knew the others would tease him for it! But you see, there's a pastel cookware set he wanted, and..!
Luke is distracted when you call out his name. He turns around, and you proceeds to pat the paw of a stuffed bear against his head as if it were praising him.
The result is an angry/flustered/giddy Luke that DEMANDS to know the reasoning behind your actions. If you wanted to pat his head, all you had to do was ask! >:T
"I-I don't mind if you pat my head yourself, you know! But that bear is really cute, so.... I'll allow it just for now! Er... could we buy that? ...Hey! Are you taking pictures?!"
Simeon was talking about a store that supposedly sold plushies of Lucifer, so there was no way the wizard could miss out on that. And why not bring you along too? You'd want one, right?
He's pretty focused on finding that toy, but that doesn't distract him from the feeling of your hand in his as he pulls you all around the store, comparing you to various toys he comes across.
Solomon momentarily forgets about his Lucifer hunting when you call for his attention and show off two plushies kissing one another, comparing it to you and him.
You see the red on his cheeks, but he doesn't stay embarrassed for long. The mischievous wizard takes one of the toys from your hands and presses it against your lips.
"I think I like it better like this, ahaha. Oops, was that too embarrassing? Your face is really red right now. Mind if I take a picture?"
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books-and-catears · 8 days ago
can you do a reactions post for the OM brothers and dateables? solomon/satan accidentally turns mc into the pink sheep-chan! and mc has to stay that way until they find a way to reverse it, can you show their reactions?
OH THIS 👑 stuff-
This is going to be priceless BWHAHAHHAHA. Thank you so much for this ask 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Just when you thought you were put in the best study group with Satan and Solomon, they had to go and screw up by doing experiments. When these two nerds get their heads together NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES OUT OF IT.
And this time, due to a lost game of rock paper scissors (surely they cheated) you were once again forced to be the subject.
We'll turn you into a cat, they said. It will be fun they said. But lo and behold.
Your words sounded vaguely like 'Baaa' as you angrily ranted as you demanded to be turned back.
They glanced at each other nervously. "It's a new spell MC... It'll take us a while."
Enraged you banged your little hoofs against the table. "How long?!!!"
"From a few days to three weeks..." Solomon didn't even try to hide his laughter.
He warned you about them, didn't he? Nothing ever comes from those cat people putting their heads together.
But well... *stifling laughter* you are rather cute like this. How adorable.
Well with that size you might get trampled on so it's better you stay by my side MC.
Stay in my room as well, I can take better care of you
What? No I don't have any ulterior motives MC, I'm simply looking out for you.
I told ya those two are never upto any good! See this is why you should listen to the Great Mammon.
And now look at you, turned into the cutest sheep plushie in existence- NO I DON'T MEAN THAT, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
Well now I have to protect you more vigilantly, why'd you have to look this way >////<
No you're not straying out of my sight, human- uh sheep- yes I'm carrying you everywhere now, so just be grateful.
Say, MC can I sheer and sell your floof for wool-
This is just like that manga "My crush turned into a sheep and now I have to protect them without falling in love and it's so difficult!"
Stay inside my room MC, you'll be safe here! Wait does that mean you'll be sleeping in the tub with me ?! 0///0
Say, MC can sheeps talk to fish? I wonder how animals communicate within each other? Are you trying to face palm with your hooves?
Don't worry MC, I caused this and I shall take full responsibility to protect and take care of you. Especially since you look this adorable.
Pffft are you trying to bite me? You know herbivores have all flat teeth right, they can't really hurt- HEY DON'T CHEW THERE! OW!
Well while you are stuck like this, I'm sure you won't mind me doing a bit of research. Tell me what do you feel like doing as a sheep? Eh what do you mean murder?
You know, I feel like sheep might be new favourite animals. After cats of course, ah I really wanted to see you as a cat- OUCH OKAY OKAY I WON'T TRY IT AGAIN.
MC you're simply the cutest, look how small and fluffy you are! Oh I shall not let you leave my arms!
Picture time MC! Oh you're running away?! Oh look how cute your little feet look when you're running ahhh-
MC what if I turn into a sheep too? We can be sheep besties!! Will you mate with me?!
Ahhh why can't you just stay like this?! I can squish and cuddle you forever!
Oh look cotton candy ahhh- oh the cotton candy is talking? MC why does that sound like you?
Sorry MC this is the twelfth time I've probably tried to eat you-
Please don't stay on the floor MC, someone might step on you.
Where do you want to go? I can carry you on my shoulders. Ah it's too high up for you?
I brought you some grass MC, Belphie said sheeps like grass-
Oh look what we have here - a small sheep MC? Ahahhaa of course I'm going to tease you for all eternity.
Come be my pillow MC, you're extra soft now. Don't worry I won't squish you to death again
Ah I think I'll replace my pillow and carry you around everywhere. What's with the loud squealing is it a yes or no?
Ah yes I did tell Beel to feed you some good quality grass from Diavolo's garden - what do you mean you'll gnaw my hair off when I sleep?
Of course I shall take responsibility and find a cure immediately, MC. No it's not just an excuse to make you stay at Purgatory Hall.
Look how small and cute you look MC, you sure you don't want to stay like this?
MC I apologized already please stop chewing holes into my capes-
MC it's better if you just sit in my lap and stop wandering off, you're so small I keep losing you- what do you mean "whose fault is that?!"
Oh MC I'm so sorry that happened to you. What? No I wasn't secretly laughing and telling Solomon how adorable you look!
Hmm I understand that you turned into a sheep but I wonder why you're pink too?
Do you mind if I write a comedy drama with this incident of yours? I'm sure all the angels will love hearing about it.
You're so soft to the touch, I kind of wish you stayed like this a little longer...
MC why are you constantly nuzzling at my shoulders - is that a sheep instinct sort of a thing?
Last time I checked there were no sheep exchange students- OH WAIT MC THAT'S YOU?!
Don't worry MC, you shall be well protected at the castle. Now would you like some freshly cut grass or some other sheep delicacy? Huh? Are you trying to scream at me?
No MC it's a treat to carry you on my shoulders. Yes I'm aware it's a meeting with the brothers. What do you mean Lucifer might make kebabs out of you?
MC will you allow me to hold you for awhile, I've had a long day and you're just perfect to calm me down.
Ah pardon my impoliteness I didn't mean to mock your situation MC. Eh? I look too happy while saying that?
Ah of course you can't hold the tea cup with your hooves, allow me to bring it to you in a bowl.
Did I see this happening? Well maybe. MC, please don't chew on my gloves as protest.
I can see the reversal spell will be done really soon. Just another two weeks MC. Hahaha I'm sorry I can't help but tease you when you make faces like that.
A SHEEP?! So small and so cute! Can I hug it?!*pauses* Wait did this sheep just talk?
MC?! Oh my god! What have those demons done to you? See this is why I don't trust demons!!!
Wait Solomon was involved too?! THAT'S WORSE! I shall be by your side and protect you now MC!
Don't worry MC! Simeon and I will also try and make a spell to turn you back to human. And stay away from Beel, you look an awful lot like cotton candy.
MC would you like some grass- ah? Why are you running away?
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boxbusiness · 12 days ago
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We’re not cutting the puppy cake~
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hoodedpanda333 · 7 days ago
The Datables!!!
A continuation of this
This man is ecstatic when you lean against him
He's a demon and you're such a fragile human
He's nearly brought to tears thinking about how much you must trust him
He doesn't want to move at all
Kinda sucks when you're the prince of hell and have a job to do
But much like a pet
You do not move when a sleeping MC is on you, no way no how
He is so tempted to wrap his arms around you
But he won't
He doesn't want to risk waking you up
Who knows when he'll get another chance to observe a sleeping human???
This man never sits down so for you to get him stationary for so long must be some sort of miracle
At first he is unsure if he should wake you up or not
One look at your peaceful face and he decides to allow it
Just this once, MC
He's busy waiting for Diavolo anyway so this should be fine
It amazes him how creatures with such a limited lifespan could spend a majority of their precious, fleeting moments unconscious
There is just so much to be done
Looking at your face, however, gives him a different point of view
How fascinating that a human could make him feel this way
And with such a simple action no less
Truly remarkable
Has been blessed by the lord himself
Does a few hail Marys when he sees your sleeping face
Somebody pray for this man
Ok, I'm done
But he is truly thanking his lucky stars he sat down next to you
As if there was any other choice
He's a literal angel and even he hasn't seen a sight as pure as this
He is radiating warmth from his excitement
Makes sure not to touch you without your permission
Continues with what he was doing before then
Is extra aware of your presence the whole time
Luke (platonic):
Is a little surprised when you fall over
You're very close to him and he's not really sure what to do about it
Lord Michael, the archangel
Send help
Low-key thinks you just died on him
Calms down when he hears you breathing
Doesn't even realize he's turning red
Tries to feed you a cookie to wake you up
Is honestly struggling™ at the moment
Looks up "What to do when my human friend falls asleep on me?" on his DDD
Calls for Simeon to bail him out
Why is Solomon taking pictures?
This is serious!!! Someone help this poor pup!!
"Ah! Looks like the poison is kicking in"
Uhh I mean
He isn't as surprised as the others
He actually smiles a little when he feels you against his arm
He's in the middle of reading a scroll he found on dBay
You must've dozed off waiting for him to finish up
He isn't complaining
After all, he wants a chance to get closer to you
Uses his magic to conjure up a blanket for you
It's pretty and purple with the stars mapped on it
He blushes a bit seeing you wrapped up in his blanket
Goes back to reading, occasionally looking back at you asleep against him
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future-mrs-diavolo · 14 days ago
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“Please... don’t be afraid!”
True form Luke based on a cherub of Eden. 
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sevendeadlymorons · 20 days ago
Requests are open? Okokok, uhhh
Can I request a headcanon thing? Fluffy af preferably.
MC and the brothers (and undateables if possible) fell asleep together. In the middle of the night MC rolled over and fell out of the bed. Cue the big thunk.
Is this me trying to justify how much of a complete hazard I am? You’ll never know.
Love your writing and I hope you are taking care of yourself! :) <3
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I used to do this when my ex hogged the bed so I’ll gladly write this up for ya~
Brothers and Dateables Reaction to MC Falling off the Bed
Heard the thump and immediately looks over the edge of the bed to see if you were ok
Sees you rubbing your head on the floor on your back, still half asleep, and he couldn’t help but chuckle to himself
Scoops you up in his arms and helps you back into bed
Kisses your head and cuddles you closely, telling you to be more careful next time
As soon as he hears the thump, he scrambles up and peers over to see if you were alright, worried that you’d hurt yourself
Watches you groan on the floor and has to stifle a laugh at how funny you looked down there
Grabs your hand and pulls you up onto the bed, still wheezing
Pulls you into his chest and strokes your hair, calling you an idiot
Practically fell out of bed himself when he heard a thump in the middle of the night
Looks over the edge and panics when he sees you lay on the floor. He was worried he may’ve pushed you out accidentally
Reaches out his hand to help you back up, holding your waist nervously so you won’t fall again
Nuzzles his head into your neck and holds you gently, thankful you weren’t hurt
Sighs when he hears a thump on the floor whilst he was reading a book and looks over the side of the bed
Sees you lying there, frowning up at him and he can’t help but laugh
Offers his hand out to you and helps you up, lying you down on his chest and his book on your back
Continues to read, kissing your head occasionally and squeezing you tight so you don’t fall
Kinda annoyed the thump had disrupted his beauty sleep but the thought disappeared when he peaked over and saw you
Saw you lying there, rubbing your head, and got worried that you may’ve bruised your pretty skin
Grabs your hand and pulls you up, caressing your head slowly
Cuddles up to you and smothers you in kisses, telling you to be careful
He heard the thump from the hallway when he was getting a midnight snack and rushes in to the room
Sees you groaning on the floor in pain and scoops you up in his arms carefully
Places you on his chest and strokes your hair, offering you food from his lips
Kisses your forehead gently and tells you to be careful and to not move around too much so you don’t fall again
Honestly didn’t hear the thump since he was sleeping but he did hear your quiet whimpers on the floor
Sluggishly got up and leaned over, chuckling at you
Pulls you up, still pretty tired and falls straight back asleep as soon as you entered back into his arms
Cuddles you close to him, sloppily kissing your cheek and murmuring how clumsy you are
Heard the thump and looks over the bed quickly to see what happened since you weren’t lying next to him anymore
Gasps at the sight of you on the floor and rushes out of bed to help you
Pick you up in his arms and gets into bed, sitting you between his legs and hugging your stomach
Kisses your neck lightly, telling you to not move around too much and stay in his arms
When he heard the thump, he was immediately up out of bed and leaning over to see if you were alright
He chuckles at your position and reaches down to help you up
Pulls you up to his side and holds you close, making sure you wouldn’t escape his tight, warm grip
Calls you clumsy and reminds you to be more careful, kissing your forehead delicately
Heard the noise and panics to see what happened, looking over the bed
Sighs to see you wriggling and groaning on the floor, obviously after hitting your head, and offers his hand to you
Hoists you up into bed next to him and wraps his arm around your waist, kissing your temple gently
Tells you to be careful and holds you close to him, making sure you were still comfy
Jolted awake by the sound of a thud and realises you weren’t next to him so he goes to check where you were
Sees you on the floor and has to stop himself from wheezing
Drags you back up and pulls you into his arms, sighing into your neck and stroking your back, drawing circles on your lower back
Kisses your head and calls you a klutz and to be more careful next time, still chuckling to himself
Gasps and panics when he hears a thump in his room, looking around to find you in the pitch black room
Sees you lying on the ground, groaning and he quickly helps you up and guides you back into your bed
He checks you over for injuries and gives you a big, comforting hug
He gets back into his own bed, smiling at you from across the room before going back to sleep
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