#lumine told him he doesnt have to pretend to be strong or tough when he actually feels like breaking

[slimepuparibaba]

Childe’s Letters

Childe wrote a lot of letters to Snezhnaya, to the point where it became weekly. He would always write a story about his past week and send it off to his siblings, in hopes Tonia would tell the story to the rest of their siblings.

However, a few weeks after Childe resigned as a Fatui member and started traveling with Lumine, he would recieve nonstop requests from a variety of family members asking to hear from Lumine.

Eventually, Lumine caved in and sent her own seperate letter to Childe, becoming quick pen pals with his family. Tonia had asked her if she had ever read any of Childe’s letters before, as he would always gush about her in various ways.

Lumine would begin pestering Childe to see the letters, but his excuse was that he didn’t have them, and if he did, they were in the trash.

Unfortunately for Childe, his siblings did indeed have the letters and Tonia decided to send Lumine a box filled with letters that were dated to the first week Lumine and Childe met.

She learned many things about Childe at tha time and eagerly read through each letter. She would learn the phases of Childe’s yearning for her, and she would sometimes start squealing excitedly at some of the words chosen.

As it turns out, Childe had somewhat fallen for Lumine when they first met, as he thought she was ‘captivating’ and ‘like a star that fell from the sky and blessed him with their presence’. He would gush on and on about how her hair would glimmer in the sun, how her eyes were a captivating amber, and so on and so forth.

Childe was so descriptive that Tonia had written in a note that she had to omit some details when reading the letters aloud to her siblings, because they wouldn’t understand half of the things he was saying about her.

As it turns out, after their date, Childe would then begin writing about Lumine’s personality and go on and on about one aspect for about three paragraphs.

“Whenever I see her smile, it feels like I’ve been blessed by the Gods themselves. Whenever she laughs, I feel like melting. She’s the sweetest traveler I had ever met while on my business trips, and I wouldn’t change it for a thing,” he once wrote.

Another time, he wrote, “What I wouldn’t give to hold her in my arms and have her embrace me back. It feels so warm and welcoming—a kind of feeling I would only know at home. Perhaps this Traveler has become a person I can confide in.”

Slowly but surely, Childe would continue writing about Lumine and had even once sketched her likeness for his siblings. She was impressed by the accuracy of it, and it might have explained why Teucer already knew what she looked like.

Childe doesn’t stop gushing about Lumine. Tonia even wrote to Lumine that it’s normal for him to mention her. They expect it every week now, and they love it. Their brother finally has a topic to talk about, other than the Tsaritsa, the Fatui, or his job.

Sometimes, he would detail antics with the rest of the adventure team, talking about how he would help train some of the underdeveloped team members, search for treasure, and explore the world of Teyvat alongside Lumine. When she read it, she couldn’t help but laugh—he seemed quite ecstatic

But, the tone quickly shifted to despair.

Childe began to write letters excluding any mention of the Traveler, instead only talking about work and how he would return home soon. They were shorter, brief, and devoid of all joy that used to be in the letters past. When Lumine carefully inspected the parchment paper, she noticed some tear stains on it. It was clear when these letters were written.

After continuing to read a bit more, Lumine finally made her way to the letter that was written the day that Liyue was saved from Osial... and the day when Lumine and Childe crossed blades

He had written and ranted to Tonia, even asking that she only share it to those who are able to comprehend the dark side of Snezhnaya. He had constantly written questions as if panicking, asking if it was the right thing to do and if he had the right to chase after Lumine.

As she continued to read such a letter, Lumine began to cry.

Childe then opened the door, only to see her reading the letters he had once written.

He panicked, distressed at her tears and the fact that she was reading the letters he wrote for his family, but understood when he saw the date for the one in her hands. He calmed her down best as he could.

Lumine didn't understand the full extent of Childe's emotional state after Golden House, but his letters fully demonstrated the major swing in his mood Lumine had on him

In previous letters, he would proudly say that Lumine had praised him and given him a home; that she had hugged him tightly and told him that he did a good job

But in that letter specifically, it was almost like he was grasping at straws to get that affection back, like it was the last thing he had. He kept asking questions almost hysterically, seeking for answers that he couldn't get. He tried to write as if calm, but his frantic handwriting proved different--he was shattered.

Childe didn't know what to say--he desperately wanted to avoid Lumine ever seeing that letter because it was a vulnerable side of him no one should see. He was ashamed of it...

But Lumine hugged him tightly and clutched onto him like he was the last person on Earth

"...you did a good job, Ajax."

Childe was surprised to hear that, but for some reason, he started to tear up.

"...you held out for so long... I'm so sorry I didn't save you sooner. You did very well..."

Lumine patted his head and rubbed his back, continuing to hug him while giving him soft praises. Childe's tears began to grow in amount.

He was being praised.

He was being earnestly praised.

He should've felt ashamed at this, for being treated like a little kid, but for some reason, when Lumine reassured him that everything was okay and allowed him to cry he felt... safe.

"...Ajax, you're home now," Lumine whispered. "...you don't have to shoulder the pain by yourself anymore. I'm here now."

Those words alone were enough to break down all of Childe's barriers and make him cry.

The letters Childe wrote showed Lumine how alone he used to be in the world of Teyvat. He would constantly seek out someone's praise or affection, all so he can quiet the demons in his own personal abyss. It showed her that he was prideful as a front, but a lonely child deep within.

It showed her that she now had a new role to play.

Lumine is Childe's new home, and she wouldn't trade that role for the world.

#genshin impact #genshin #chilumi #childe x lumine #childe #lumine #traveler #ajax #the juxtaposition between the atmosphere of the fatui and the atmosphere of lumine's team was so different to childe #like it was so new to him that he didnt know how to feel but it felt so... right? so homey #and lumine was the one to tell him that it was okay for him to stay #lumine told him he doesnt have to pretend to be strong or tough when he actually feels like breaking #hes vulnerable to her now and she doesnt mind #thats their relationship dynamic #i joke about childe simping but he has good reason to #lumine is the one person he is vulnerable to and would confide in that isnt his biological family #to him that means something #so hes now comfortable to cry in front of her when times get tough #and honestly? #im happy for them