#madd negativity

[acircusfullofdemons]

💭🔮 MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING || MASTERLIST 🔮💭

Everything that relates to MaDD/ID on my blog, for easier access <3

TAGS

maladaptive daydreaming • info • terminology • flags • community • positivity • negativity • recovery • events • music • polls • maddcore

POSTS

proposed diagnostic criteria • the ultimate daydreamer's guide • common terminology

#maladaptive daydreaming #madd terminology #madd flags #madd info #madd community #maddcore #madd positivity #madd negativity #madd recovery #madd music #madd events #madd polls #masterlist #luka.txt

[fallingmaddlyinlove]

madd is feeling lonely no matter how many relationships you have because nobody will ever be your paras

#madd #madd negativity #maladaptive daydreaming #maladaptive daydreamer #actually madd #madd problems #daydreaming disorder #madd paras

[tizzberg]

Why I create TIZZBERG (1)

I feel loneness, so I have my paras.

I still feel loneness, though, because I only have my paras.

So why couldn’t we interact with others by pretending to be our paras? Then I could talk about my paracosm, share my life, explore others’ worlds, and engage with other people’s paras.

Like every solitary paracosm finally could be connected together. We are not ALONE. We have each other.

#madd #actually madd #madd experiences #madd negativity #madd struggles #madd things #madd community #maladptive daydreaming #paracosm #daydreaming #my paras #madd parame #maladaptive daydreaming disorder #tizzberg

[blue-madd]

Funny how I still doubt having MaDD whenever I see people talking about how "it's not MaDD if it doesn't have any negative impacts on your life" & I'm literally out there, destroying my present *and* future life by letting myself drown in my daydreams but oh wow where is the negativity in that? I'm probably just lying to myself HaHa~

I'm convinced my inability to do shit because I'm too stuck in my head will eventually kill me (sooner than later) but my imposter syndrome is still going strong

#i mean wtf how can i be so Delusional!!?!?? #why is it so hard to believe i may actually *have* a problem that shouldn't even be a question at this point #i've just been out there waiting for death for like Years bc i couldnt be bother to do shit instead of daydreaming #the only reason im alive rn is just pure luck (+ outsiders caring about me) & im still gonna keep fucking it up i am so Tired with my shit #but guess what? ill just daydream about screaming to my own self to get it together without actually doing anything. as always #such a loser move wow #madd problems #madd negativity #madd

[dizzociating]

creating imaginary people to fill the void of not having enough significant and meaningful real life relationships. i'm sure this won't have any lasting ramifications.

#i'm sure this won't at all negatively affect my already strained ability to make connections with people irl #madd #maladaptive daydreaming #maladaptive daydreaming disorder #p

[infiniteorangethethird]

Do you know what is something that really, really fucking hurts as a MaDDer?

My longest standing/main paracosm is reaching its 10th anniversary today. I've been mentally preparing myself for this for a while now, choosing to celebrate by building up for one of the biggest climaxes in the story of said paracosm. Both these internal events, and the fact that it's been 10 (ten!!!) years, they mean a lot to me.

And there is absolutely no one I can share this excitement with.

I have no idea how to properly convey just how important all of this is to me. These people I've created in my head, who have been with me for years, whose internal struggles and emotions I'm more familiar with than my own. These stories, these worlds, that are so indescribably large it takes near a minute for the doc containing said description to just load. And all the emotions they spark, good or bad, so vivid that sometimes they feel more real than my emotions towards the real world.

To most people, daydreams are just "random ideas to toy around with for a few minutes to ease boredom", I suppose. Some people don't even daydream. To most people, the idea that your daydreams can be a part of a consistent, coherent internal world, one that holds significance to you - it is unimaginable. Foolish.

And even if they did try to understand, how the hell could I even convey the impact of what is happening internally? How could I just go "oh hey one of my oldest paras just killed one of the most powerful gods for the first time since existence began" in a way that it makes sense? How could I let them know just how deeply all of this affects me, how could I share these grandiose emotions I'm feeling?

I dunno. I guess I just really wish there was someone out there who understood - not just related, but with whom I could share, whose reaction would be more than just "oh that's cool I suppose"

#madd #actually madd #maladaptive daydreaming #madd negative #cw vent #sorta #idk i guess im just feeling kinda lonely this sunday night #happy 10th bday my guys #i honestly thought they wouldn't make it past like. 3 years so #the fact that its been 10 yrs is honestly mind-boggling to me

[kkujo]

something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍

#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST #talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it. #talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix #paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to #immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them #not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely #myself in my head yk #and it's so isolating #and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it #oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this #< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as #into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be #like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine #it's so fucking isolating #i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like #fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely #< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭 #it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do #and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense #because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying #and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality #just if i talk about something a little too much #bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me #but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are #idk #anyways !

[lesbiansandco]

madd making it impossible to get anything done today 😭😭

im not even listening to my daydreaming playlist! its just my liked songs on shuffle

bro lemme get stuff doneeee

#madd #my thoughts #maladaptive daydreaming #madd negative #actually madd

[maddngay]

welp. after a long time of finally being free of MaDD, im properly spiraling back again. i feel anxious when im not daydreaming, haven’t been studying for finals to indulge in daydreams and even when im ACTUALLY dreaming i dream abt my paracosms and feel horrible when i wake up bc im reminded that my paracosms aren’t real.

fun times!

#madd negative #madd #actuallymadd #maladaptive daydreaming #maladaptive daydreaming disorder #maladaptive behaviors #maladaptive daydreamer #maladaptive daydreamers #my post #my posts #maddnegative #actually madd

[parasafterdark]

Anxiety brain won't shut up -> drowns it out by podcast/talky things to listen to -> can't daydream while listening to talky stuff -> gets depressed cause can't daydream -> gets Anxiety over getting depressed again -> anxiety brain won't shut up -> ...

#I....have no clue how to break this cycle #usually something comes along that breaks me out of it #but random chance is not really something I want to rely on #especially since this cycle has become more and more ingrained and maladaptive over time #unthreaded #voice of origin #actually madd #maladaptive daydreaming #madd negative

[acircusfullofdemons]

MaDD will fuck up my life in ways I won't even realize like girl wdym you only have 2 friends 💀

#maladaptive daydreaming #madd pains #madd negativity #luka.txt #told my mom one of my friends is moving away n she pointed out that i only hang out w her n another person #theres some people at work i wanna ask to hang out w but idk #for some reason my brain keeps going ''but what if we're not close enough Work Friends to hang out'' #i guess i could start messaging them on Instagram?? since were mutuals there??? #why is making friends so hard n complicated. why is my brain like this. #maybe i can message those from my old college too... #idk it's so weird ive never really. had the desire for friends? if that makes sense ??? #like theyre nice dont get me wrong I love the ones i have #and idk if its the madd or other mental illness skewing it. but part of me is sort of fine being alone? #ive always been of the ''if it happens it happens'' mindset when it came to friend making. does that make sense. probably not!

[fallingmaddlyinlove]

because my paras aren't real, it feels like im grieving people who never existed. it makes me feel like shit

#but if i quit daydreaming then i would feel even worse :/ #idk how to overcome loneliness ig #madd #maladaptive daydreaming #madd negativity #maladaptive daydreamer #daydreaming disorder #actually madd #madd problems

[blue-madd]

I think I made my MaDD worse by trying to run away from it.

Like, okay, I'm having a really hard time daydreaming even when I have time now but it's still the only thing I want to do & so I look for this feeling of totally disappearing from reality by over-consuming medias/series and I come back from it heavily dissociated without being able to regain touch with reality. And it wouldn't be a problem normally because my MaDD already took everything from me ; my social life, my scholarship, my ability to find a job-

But I'm about to become homeless and with winter coming around I desperately need a place to stay with my cat (who currently lives in the wild since I can't keep him with me where I am) but I'm too dissociated to do anything about it. I can't focus on my researches, I can't do anything because I'm too busy running away from my own mind and from everything around really so I'm just stuck.

I'm stuck. Always was, with this shitty disorder floating around my head and all the rest making me absolutely useless. I don't like feeling like this, I'm tired of running away. I want to run toward something for a change.

But I can't. I'm stuck. And I don't know how to make this pass. I've been in this apathetic state for so long I can feel it on my body, on my mind, and I don't know how to stop.

I don't know how become real again.

#madd negativity

[dizzociating]

they’re minor inconveniences to you. but to me they are months worth of daydream fuel.

#*takes every negative experience and turns it into a daydream plot to cope* #madd #maladaptive daydreaming #maladaptive daydreaming disorder #actuallymadd #actually madd #immersive daydreaming

[infiniteorangethethird]

It's like. When you get some kind of inspo from a completely random thing and you're like oh wow this would fit in my paracosm so well and you get super excited bc you know you're in the perfect mood for an engrossing daydream but for some reason nothing your brain comes up with Feels Right so you're left frantically searching for ideas that would satisfy you while trying to keep the excitement up bc you know you need it for the daydream to be truly absorbing but even after hours of trying you come up with nothing and you're left with all this energy with no outlet burning in you so hot it's physically painful and after those hours you finally give up and instead of satisfaction you feel empty and drained and nauseaus and like you just wanna lie down and cry but you can't bc you wouldn't be able to explain to anyone around you why you're so miserable

Or is it just me

#madd #actually madd #madd problems #madd negative #vent? ish? idk man #i've been having this problem for months now & i need to know if anyone else can relate #sometimes it does result in the most emotionally satisfying daydreams #but more often i'm left wishing i could fall asleep and never wake up

[rainbowgothdisaster]

just so you know i fucking hate reality shifting :)

a lot of the ppl who promote it dont know what theyre talking about :)

it WILL cause maladaptive daydreaming disorder which is a "fun" kind of hell, and if ur one of the ppl that gets real into it actually existing and actually being a separate reality you are actively promoting delusions and psychosis fucking sucks and fuck you

#here doesnt seem to be as bad about it as tiktok was but jesus christ ppl really promote some toxic fuckin mentalities #listen i dont usually even brush against the negative feelings about MaDD bcuz i rather enjoy it most days #but thats only bcuz i have the freedom to daydream whenever i get the feeling