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#made a new post bc the one i was tagged in had lots of reblogs and i fear being annoying
doodlerh · 1 year
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diversity win! new doodlerh sameface male oc is wrong in the head
LORE !! there’s gonna be some mention of child abuse/mutilation, so if that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to Not Read :’) however, if u do still wanna know what gehen gets up to after, skip to the line of [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[s. see u there king
gehen’s father is the demon king’s younger brother, who was kicked out of hell for being cringe idk. anyway this guy took on a human disguise (how? idk idc) and ended up falling in love w a human woman, and they had a kid (gehen) and then the demon king’s brother . idk left. he dipped. he went to buy milk
gehen’s mom was unfortunately part of a cult that worshipped angels to a freaky level and thought of themselves as the angels’ chosen destroyers of demons who escaped from hell. demons don’t escape from hell, so sometimes they’ll just accuse ppl of being demonic and kill them to appease the angels (who, btw, do Not care)
when gehen was 9 yrs old, his horns and tail started growing in. the villagers always thought his ears were goatlike, and they start to think that this boy is actually a demon. they kill gehen’s mom (who is just as mortified and willingly dies out of disgust with herself and her monstrous son) and torture him for evading them for so long; they try to tear off his horns for an offering to the angels, and they succeed with one of them. however, fueled by panic and mb a sudden adrenaline burst of demonic power, little gehen escapes, then loses consciousness in the woods from blood loss. SAD! he’s probably found by some shaman or other who performs a Ye Olde Skin Graft with her own arm to save him, hence why that patch of skin on his forehead is a different color from the rest of him
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omg hey! ok so
recap, gehen lives with a shaman who saves him from a pretty bad injury that made him flee the anti-demon cult he was born in. gehen is grateful and stays with her, healing while also helping her w her daily chores. she tells him that his horn is special and that he is not a monster who must be destroyed as the villagers said he was. he is a living being who deserves love and life just like everyone else. instead of becoming an all-loving pacifist, gehen begins to harbor an intense hatred towards the cult that raised him. when he turns 20, he asks the shaman for some help...
with the shaman’s aid, gehen returns to his village amidst a storm of terrifying supernatural occurrences. the stars go out (smoke from the shaman’s special incense), the temperature rises (heat/fire magic), he appears larger than life (illusion magic); gehen wreaks havoc in the village and destroys the shrine where the angels are worshipped, setting fire to it and shattering the angelic idols housed within. the villagers recognize him in the firelight, and he recognizes them; he cuts off the hands that held him down and stole his horn, and he forces all the villagers to worship and obey him as their new god. he is thence known as the one-horned demon king. not to be confused with the actual demon king, who has four horns and two awful kids
that would’ve been great awesome, however, gehen doesn’t stop there. to repent for harming their master, gehen has the villagers sacrifice a 9 yr old every fifteen years. however, the night before the sacrifice, the 9 yr old always escapes; gehen frees them and sends them to safety in a far away settlement, acting as the person he needed to save him when he was their age. brings the guy comfort. but also like the kids have “was about to be a human sacrifice to a demon god” trauma forever now. at least the demon god was nice abt it
btw gehen helps and visits the shaman until she passes away a happy and healthy old woman :’) once she’s gone tho he kind of starts to spiral deeper down into a self-hatred cycle where, even though he is now these people’s god and they fear him, all they DO is fear him. they don’t like him, they don’t accept him. they’re just scared of him, and there’s nothing he can do to change that NOW. sure the kids he rescues don’t hate him but they’re not gonna come back and say it sldhgskdg GOD. now that the shaman is gone, gehen has nowhere he can just be himself (a demon) without being feared/hated!!
except for hell.
gehen wants to go to hell /pos. however, he has no way of doing that because first of all where is hell. second of all he wants the villagers afraid for their lives at all times. gee what’s a guy to do!!
(on the other side, abaddon wants to escape hell but doesn’t want to leave his 4 yr old half brother as the sole heir to the throne. gee if only SOMEONE of royal blood who DOESN’T LOOK ANGELIC really WANTED TO TAKE HIS PLACE!!!
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gehen doesn’t spend all his time in the village, he’s just there to strike fear in the ppl’s hearts and usually spends his time elsewhere striking fear in everyone else’s hearts. he’s learned to embrace how intimidating he is and thus never has trouble dealing with people, but he has now pretty much lost his humanity (pity/mercy/morality etc.). he really only saves those 9 yr olds to heal the ache of his old old wounds, he doesn’t care what happens to them after he “rescues” them. after 1000 yrs of being feared, gehen doesn’t know how to accept kindness anymore. not a problem, since he doesn’t receive any, but still
i think gehen longs for a family and a place to belong, but he doesn’t know how to deal with this feelings. carving out a place for himself in the blood of his tormentors worked for a couple decades, but that only lasts for so long. bloodshed is the only thing his heart can handle, it hasn’t betrayed him yet. he suffered from violence too, but he had to survive in this cruel hateful world with a ton of pain and isolation. by ending his victims’ lives, they have it easy!! win win!!
idk what gehen expects when he finally gets to hell, taking abaddon’s place. he’ll probably do whatever it takes to be accepted, maybe even loved. he is most likely respected due to him actually looking like a demon, but he only knows rule by fear. the demon king is gonna have a lot of teaching to do if he wants his new (very obedient and desperate to please) heir to not order sacrifices every fifteen years and kill people just to feel something and such
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princessnijireiki · 2 years
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what happened w the staff wrt “scortched earth”
ok so staff has a new page @/humans where they've got a post up listing several of the current moderators for the site, some of whom linked their own tumblr blogs. user @partyjockers made an original post like "so the new staff lineup explains why mods aren't blocking actual terfs huh" & then reblogged their own post with screenshots for evidence, one of the @/humans intro post, and one of the blog of one of those mods, "jas," @/jezzuminah. all publicly visible posts.
jas is a diehard hp fan, but people paid close attention to her artwork (her art tag is linked in a pinned post at the top of her blog). she's done a lot of dramione fanart, a lot of attack on titan fanart, and ship fanart of aged up preschoolers from spy x family. of note, she also put in her header, "opinions are my own," which is typical for ppl maintaining private social media accts linked to their real professional lives, as a way to ask for or demand a free pass to be inflammatory in some way w/o facing prof'nl. repercussions.
most of the commentary I saw at that point on @partyjockers's post was like, "lol that figures," bc it's not like any of that is especially shocking to see on tumblr; it's dime a dozen in fandom circles, but funny to confirm that "yeah the employees #on here are like that too, ugh, smh. 🙄"
within ONE DAY, staff had no only entirely shut down & seemingly permabanned @partyjockers, AND copyright striked the original screenshots so they get blanked out to error pictures if you try to repost them, they also did something they've never done before + which past staff have indicated was not doable within the tumblr framework: they scrubbed every trace of the post from the site. original post, gone. THOUSANDS of reblogs, all gone. even notifications from people interacting with reblogs of the post, wiped from the activity page. like beyond twitter, where if you delete a tweet, you can still see people's responses from THEIR pages, and you can still see QRTs even if you can't see what's been retweeted... every interaction w that post was gone. @partyjockers, gone. jas just toggled off the "view top posts" feature, locked her twitter & instagram, and deleted one piece of dramione fanart that people began reblogging after that overkill response.
and NOW the scrutiny is higher than ever before, because it's all fun & games and "my opinions are my own" until one person hurts your feelings (at WORK) by pointing & saying, "harry potter fan!" ...and, vitally, they also proved @partyjockers right. they've always been able to erase the entire footprint of violent fascists, people spreading explicit hate speech, literal nazis, revenge porn distributors, doxxers, bigots who run active harassment campaigns (incl some terfs!), ppl who share EXPLICIT csa materials, gore, etc.— even pages like @communismkills just got shadowbanned, and that was after a LONG TIME being a leaking sphincter on this site.
and tumblr staff have thus far ONLY ever unleashed this big gun ONCE in the whole history of the site, to my knowledge, as a tool to take down a page that wasn't even, like, a "whistleblower" for anything that serious, but who JUST SAID, "y'all don't ban terfs (true!) & y'all hire harry potter fans (also true!)," which apparently this new staff took sooooo personally & seriously & disparagingly (lol) that they nuked a random person's page from orbit over the "insult."
and we're currently on day 2, so I'm sure more will eventually unfold, but yeah, this scorched earth tactic is genuinely batshit hostility out of nowhere, over not even mild criticism but just a literal factual observation.
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theminecraftbee · 9 months
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I'm really glad to have found the Hermitcraft fandom here on Tumblr, I've been a long time fan and it's awesome to discover all this great fanart and content and stuff. Any must-follow MCYT/Hermitcraft/Minecraft blogs?
oh gosh, welcome! in general i am BAD about remembering who i follow and who i don't; a great way to find who you want to follow might be to just go through the #hermitcraft tag and follow people you find funny, or, heck, if i reblog a lot of art from a certain artist you like (or not a lot, like one art even), go follow them!
while we're here, a few additional general etiquette rules (keeping in mind that like, this is tumblr, trying to claim ANYTHING is a whole-community norm is basically impossible i am claiming a norm from my specific circle of guys): do not crosstag, only tag things that are actually in your post. don't use the 'minecraft' tag, that tag is for people who like the actual game. (i mean, you can use it if you are posting about minecraft, but not if you're posting about the youtubers). it's generally considered rude to put your crit in the main tags, especially without tagging 'discourse' somewhere so it can be filtered. shipping should generally have a 'hermitshipping' tag on it for filtering purposes as well, but if something is tagged hermitshipping and you're mad about it just like, block them, they did the important part.
the hermits i know of on tumblr (could be more, idk): @/joehills @/pearlescentmoo @/falsesymmetry @/therealdocm77 (not actually active but has the account) @/geminitayyt. cleo also had an account but it is no longer active. also @/inthelittlewood is here and like very active, as is @/askzloyxp and @/quinnhills. as a general etiquette rule, just... act like they're perfectly ordinary tumblr users and continue your business as usual! and don't send them weird asks or anything.
off the top of my head, a few blogs i like, an EXTREMELY non-exhaustive list, find your own guys out there as well you won't regret it! like, you will find the experience you like best just going out there and looking for it yourself! i've absolutely missed a bunch of guys i love, let alone guys you would love! this is like 10 million percent non-exhaustive, i follow 1,570 blogs apparently, many of which aren't hermitcraft or mcyt related, but many of which are, so i just sorta. went for it. and when i was having trouble remembering if a name was a repeat that's when i stopped. so. non-exhaustive list:
@nightshadeowl, @jestroer, @astronomodome, @kingtheghast, @floweroflaurelin, @roenais, @silverskye13, @wasyago, @rusty-courage, @art-by-fate, @silverskye13, @redstonedust, @betweenlands, @sixteenth-days, @judas-iscaryot, @terracottakore, @cherrifire, @antimony-medusa, @hybbart, @made-nondescript, @luigra, @cuteiemonster, @mawofthemagnetar, @potionofinstantdamage, @concorp, @spiderziege, @salemoleander, @bc-jpeg, @magicalmanhattanproject, @simplydm, @12u3ie, @mishapen-dear, @lunarblazes, @girltimeswithscar, @kishdoodles, @quaranmine, @shadeswift99, @bdoubleowo, @quicksandblock, @beacon-lamp, @kikunai, @sideblague, @applestruda, @ingapotejtoo, @belmarzi, @strifetxt
anyway FEEL FREE TO PROMO GUYS OR YOURSELF ON THIS POST TOO! from what i understand we may be getting some new guys sometime soon here from the twitter lands? so it may be helpful to have that for anyone who's looking for new guys to follow!
and most of all: WELCOME!!!
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boydepartment · 5 months
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@ iluvmygf - profiles: non twitter users losers
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description: nishimura riki is a headache to his managers. as much as he loves being an idol and as much as he loves that he gets the freedom to travel. he hates that he can’t show you off. publicly… as himself… so he makes a twitter account called @ iluvmygf at first not a lot of people follow it. it goes unnoticed, for a few weeks. until it doesn’t. his account about you goes viral… and people are nosy as to who loves their gf so much to constantly post about her.
genre: romcom, crack, humor, something fun and lighthearted like a hallmark movie. it’s also set from november-february bc i said so and i want a christmas ark 😋🫶 this is an smau
warnings: cursing, most likely crude humor, probably kms jokes
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THE GROUP OF 87- six people + riki who bonded over video games. y/n is someone they treasure. she gives them their little taste of normal… and they have to help y/n with her hw but that’s besides the point she ends up with a 70% anyways
y/n l/n’s instagram!
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y/n is not an idol at all. she is only friends with idols now because she lost riki at a party one time. a party she wasn’t even supposed to be at but riki made her go. she is the most dorky and goofy person riki has ever met in his life. but she lets him actually be himself. y/n outside of her idol friends is very reserved, she is horrible at any kind of academic, but could tell you about the lore of every fnaf, chilla’s art, or creepypasta anything.
that’s kai and bahiyyih in the ghost costumes btw😋
soul’s(05) instagram account
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soul was y/n’s first friend. he spilled his punch on her at the party where she got lost and he made the fnaf 2 jumpscare noise. y/n and soul instantly hit it off after getting into the lore of the whole five nights at freddy’s franchise… at the party…. in public…. talking about five nights at freddy’s
lily’s (02) instagram account
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lily overheard y/n and soul talking about this game at the party and was instantly intrigued. she ended up introducing herself to them and then asking about it. let’s just say lily ended up binging all of matpat’s videos on the fnaf lore.
bahiyyih’s (04) instagram account
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y/n and bahiyyih met after the party. soul and lily had to go to their respective groups. however, bahiyyih was all alone. and so was y/n. as any girl would do, y/n approached her. ever since they have been inseparable. both feeling like loners sometimes, they understand eachother. y/n and bahiyyih are best friends- platonic soulmates
kai’s (02) instagram account
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y/n met huening kai after she met his sister the best person in the world. they hit it off pretty quickly after y/n was invited to the huening family dinner. kai started talking about how he didn’t understand why on earth anyone would pick link in mariokart and y/n started a WILD debate at the dinner table. it ended up with all the huening siblings + y/n laughing. making y/n an unofficial huening.
beomgyu’s (01) instagram account
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y/n met beomgyu through kai. and it was on a day where she wasn’t expecting to meet anyone new, so her outfit consisted of a hoodie that said “i ❤️ monty” and mickey mouse christmas pants. beomgyu eyed her hoodie and went on a tangent about how monty is a sick sadistic freak who deserved to be put in a trash compactor like in monsters inc.
nishimura riki’s (05) instagram account
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he BARELY uses his instagram ever. riki is a certified twitter user. however…….. y/n does not have twitter…… so he can’t hype up his gf unless he has instagram….
___
MASTERLIST
taglist- open :)
@yourmomscuntis2tighy @yannew @wzy3ka @stellarpsh @czlluvriki @im-yn-suckers @owotalks @filmofhybe @skepvids @ocyeanicc @amymyli @imsodazed @rikislady @j-wyoung @bangchansbangers @sassyfanlawyergarden @miko1ly @itsactuallylina @haewonluvr @entenen @cb97mylove @jxp1-t3r @ineedaherosavemeenow @str4wb3rizz
comment, dm, send an ask, or reblog to be added :) i try to keep up with tag lists however i get a ton of notifications everyday so please lmk if i forget you
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red-riding-wood · 18 days
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I’m so sorry about what happened to you and so many others. Disgusting misogynistic behavior. You all deserve so much better ):.
Also sending this bc I do believe he has made two new accounts. Drcranessweetestdoe and monsterfromthewoods. I have no proof these are him ,but it just strikes an absurd resemblance to his writing and he seemed to interact with both of them a few weeks ago. The first one hasn’t blogged in weeks either. Just seems strange. Once again though, I could be wrong. Just something for everyone to stay weary about. Stay safe ❤️
Thank you for the well wishes, anon! I really do appreciate you reaching out. <3
From my conversations with @drcranessweetestdoe, she does not behave like Kill (nor does her writing style compare to his), and I am pretty positive he is incapable (or at least very bad) at taking on different personalities since I believe I witnessed his attempt with the second account you mentioned. Aurora is very sweet, and she used to be a fan of Kill's writing and mine. I don't want people to be suspecting her of foul play because I do believe she is genuine. Kill has a pattern of reblogging fics as a way of seeing what victims he can latch onto and I see that as a coincidence with his reblog of Monster's.
As for @monsterfromthewoods... I was hesitant to make a callout, mainly because no one has actual solid proof that he is Kill. But, there is too much evidence for me to ignore, and I wanted to give my honest opinion and observations. Monster, if you are not this person, feel free to reach out and vouch for yourself, and if I am wrong, I am deeply sorry.
Fuck that. As I was typing this message up, I decided to check my DMs and noticed that my friend had said that he gave her the same name that, as of this morning, was revealed to me as his actual name along with his real picture and Facebook profile. That really sealed the deal for me. Here is the rest of my evidence to prove that this is "Kill":
Monster followed my friend around the same time that she blocked Kill.
Monster followed me the same day that I sent Kill a confrontational message, calling him out for his lies and pleading with him one last time for medical treatment and answers.
From the posts on Monster's account, and the one comment I know he made on my friend's post, his personality exactly fits Kill's. This is why I said I do not think he is capable or likely to be able to craft a believable persona.
Monster made a post about suicide, and a pro-Palestine post, the former of which Kill discussed with me a lot and the latter my friend pointed out as suspicious since Kill was also very strongly pro-Palestine. Seeing as Monster doesn't have that many posts yet on his blog, this isn't irrefutable evidence but it is very coincidental.
Lastly, I actually did my best to analyse and compare Kill and Monster's writing, since I had recalled a few things that stuck out to me when I read Kill's writing. Him and Monster share many similarities with their writing habits/consistencies. They are as follows (the examples listed are from 18+ content so please do not view if you are a minor):
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Use periods and exclamation marks -- but never commas -- as punctuation to end dialogue tags.
Starter dialogue tag always facing outward. Like: ”So... Tight”
Tend to each use a snapshot style of writing, favouring incomplete sentences with frequent use of periods. Examples: K: "His mind, usually so sharp. Focused and organized like the most expensive machines. A killing machine, that worked in perpetual motion, living off killing, adrenaline used like a drug." M: "Your dear, understanding doctor. Doctor Jonathan Crane, who laughed out loud suddenly a couple moments ago. The dark colour covering his exotic looking eyes as he revealed his real nature to you."
Similarly, they both tend to avoid using possessive pronouns and determiners. Examples: K: "_ Pale, little pussy peaked from between her thighs." M: "The scars covering _ man's pale skin," _ = absence of "her, that, the," etc.
Often use adverbs after verbs in a way that feels out of place.
Capitalise after ellipses, always.
"Y/n" always has a lowercase "n".
Sometimes use three ellipses, often use only two.
Use "pants" but never "trousers".
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Yeah, so, I may have spent way too much time on this. And I think most of this is redundant, now, especially after the name revelation, but still, I put work into it and didn't want it to go to complete waste lmao. I also had no idea until I was tagged today that apparently there are programs that do this sort of thing for you. Oops.
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acacia-may · 1 month
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FRIENDS APPRECIATION POST!! 🥰
The lovely @lilacthebooklover tagged me in the sweetest moots appreciation post, and it made my whole day so I wanted to return the favor and share some positivity with some of my favorite people! 💕
@lyranova -- You are an absolute sweetheart and make me smile every single time I see any of your posts on my dash. You're also a fantastic writer, and I've said it once & will say it again, my life is so much better now that I've gotten to read "Dandelion Wishes." It will always be one of my favorite stories I've ever had the pleasure to read on the internet. Zerilliam is my canon now. Thank you so much for all of your support & encouragement during my time on Tumblr. 💜 you!
@loosesodamarble -- Your takes are absolutely amazing, and I feel like everything I've ever read of yours has stuck with me for such a long time afterwards. Your gift for writing heart-wrenching angst is truly unmatched, and I will forever be reeling from your Nacht content (and I really need him to kiss Josele like yesterday). I love that you're bold, honest, and well-spoken and that we can share so many fandoms so I get to enjoy your fantastic thoughts about so many things! (Your headcanon about Genya having asthma changed my life!) 💙
@thoughtfullyrainynightmare -- I feel like I always give you this compliment, but you are truly one of the most thoughtful people I've ever had the pleasure to interact with both when it comes to your well-thought out analyses, carefully constructed stories and character portrayals, and also just your kind, warm, and encouraging personality. You're definitely one of the coolest people in the BC fandom, but you're so welcoming and encouraging to everyone who aspires to be as prolific and talented a writer, artist, and creator as you. Also, thanks for the newfound appreciation for the Fire Vermillions and for creating Solara!❤️‍🔥
@f-oighear -- You will forever be the Soulmate AU guru and a big inspiration for me! I owe you a lot and will always be grateful for all of the kind and encouraging comments you left on my fics when I was first starting out as a fic writer on AO3. I'm not sure I'd still be writing fics (or at least publishing them for people to see) if it wasn't for your support and encouragement, so thank you for that. You're such a talented writer, and I'm always in awe of how many characters and stories you can bring to life so perfectly in your writing. Your stories have brought me so much joy, and you're also just a truly wonderful and lovely person! 💕
@just-a-little-fan-1793 -- You are one of the nicest and most encouraging people I've ever had the pleasure to know. I think it's the sweetest thing ever that you encourage people to enjoy the things they love even if you aren't familiar with the fandom. Your likes, reblogs, and interactions on my posts have cheered me up on many a gloomy day, and I love seeing your posts as well. They're always so positive and uplifting, just like you! 💖
@kalolasfantasyworld -- Helena may be Nozel's sunshine princess, but I absolutely see where she gets it from. There has never been a post of yours that hasn't made me smile! I know we're sort of new friends, but I wanted to include you because I think you're just such a sweet person and I absolutely adore your lovely artwork and writing. Also your OC naming preferences are on point! (And no I'm not just saying that because I chose Helena as my Latin name way back in the day and I also have an OC named Gabriel hehe. I'd suggest we get them together but mine's from another fandom and kind of a jerk, so it's probably for the best they stay away from each other 😁😅). You're so talented across the board and are truly such a kind-hearted person. Thanks for being the ray of sunshine on my dash, friend! ☀️
@iamatriangle -- You're very lovely and very sweet! I truly appreciate all of your encouragement. It makes my day to see you interact with my posts, and I swear I'm squealing every time you send in an ask about Langris! I love that I've gotten to find someone who also shares my appreciation for Langris Vaude. He can be a little difficult to love, but he's a particular favorite of mine, so it warms my heart to see I'm not the only one! Cheers to you! 💐
@delirious-donna -- Even though we've both moved on a bit in terms of fandom interests, you will always be one of my favorite people! You've got an amazing sense of humor, a real gift for character analysis, a great talent for writing (and cross stitch! That’s so awesome by the way!!) and are very kind. I'll forever be grateful that our fandom paths happened to cross when they did and that we got to become friends! I will always treasure the incredibly thoughtful comments you left on my stories and all of the great discussions we had (especially the ones about Langris)! I had so much fun getting to work with you, and I hope you know Alina just lives rent-free in my mind forever now. I'm so glad to see you back on Tumblr too. I missed you and hope you are doing fantastically well, dear!! 💖
@repo-net -- I call you Repo-Net the Great because you deserve it! I am so grateful that we got to connect here and become fandom friends, and I absolutely love all of your incredibly well-written and well-thought out analysis posts and stories. I never thought I'd meet someone who could rival my intense love for my son, Nagisa Shingetsu, but I actually think you might love him even more than I do, so I'm willing to share custody with you lol. 😉 I adore all our wonderful discussions, and I'm so grateful you introduced me to Your Turn To Die. (I can't imagine my life before the Satou Brothers and, of course, the sweet, sweet murder prince). Wishing you all the best, friend! 💙
@light-wynd -- My dear celebrity friend, I will always be a little starstruck by you and your talents and though I will never quite understand what I did to end up on your radar after being such a long-time admirer of your fantastic artwork (especially the ones of dear little Nagisa! The way you draw him is just so wonderful!), I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to become friends and have such lovely discussions with each other! You are so sweet, and I love our chats very much. Also, your puns are amazing! ^^ Thank you for being so patient and understanding, and of course, for sharing your absolutely amazing art with the world! I love everything you create and love that we've come to share so many fandoms and mutual interests. Please take care and keep creating things that make you happy! 🌻
@library-child -- You're such a talented writer and so very thoughtful and encouraging! I love getting to talk to you, and it has been wonderful getting to work with you for proofreading. I feel very blessed I was one of the first to get to read your delightful Ellington-centric story, Unsafe Territory! I appreciate all of your support and friendship, and I love seeing your Snicket-verse posts on my dash! Much love!! 💚
@transitofmercury — My dear friend with the absolute best takes on what is possibly the most niche film of all time! I honestly never thought I’d meet another Horrible Histories the Movie fan, but it has brought me so much joy to get to know you through our mutual appreciation for this underrated gem of a film. Your comments on my Atti/Orla fics are some of the sweetest and most thoughtful feedback I’ve ever received, and you’re always so kind and so enthusiastic in all your posts & interactions! You’re also incredibly generous, and I will forever be indebted to you for saving me from having to listen to that bootleg recording of a recording of “Orla Alone” that sounded like it was underwater (I look back on those days in horror and am humbled that they will not need to be repeated, thanks to you 💕). You’re honestly the best and such a sweetheart, and I’m so sorry for the slight delay in tagging you here (please forgive me 🙏) I really thought I had you here, dear, and panicked when I realized. You truly deserve all the love & appreciation for being such a lovely person and for always brightening my day with your posts! Also your music tastes are always on point, and your sense of humor is amazing! That Cymry joke was the funniest thing I’ve seen all week which reminds me…gah! I want to hear more about your Anastasia AU!! ^^ (I didn’t know I needed Atti as Dimitri but I do—I really do). Much love and all the best to you, amica! 💖💖
@randomsprinkles -- My favorite co-conspirator! Thank you so much for always enabling me and for all of your help with the Hero blog and "When Sun Shines Again." I couldn't do it without you! You're a very, very talented artist, super fun to work with, and have awesome ideas! I love collaborating with you. Also, you're hilarious, upbeat, super nice, and just all around, a truly wonderful person! 🩷
@lilacthebooklover (who prompted this whole post in the first place) -- I know I already sent most of my gratitude and many compliments in an ask, so at the risk of repeating myself: you are absolutely lovely, Lilac dear! I can't count the amount of times you and your posts have made my day. Your talent for analysis, especially of Hero, is just unmatched. You really have a gift for digging under the surface to what truly motivates characters, and your interpretations are very thoughtful and nuanced. You're also an extremely talented writer. The Hero and Kel story you wrote on my request will always be one of my favorite OMORI fics of all time! I admire your work so much that it really means so much to me to hear that you admire my work too. I feel very blessed that we have gotten to become friends, and I really look forward to having some great discussions with you! (I'm very curious about your headcanons about what happens to Hero after the good ending, if you ever feel like sharing hehe!😁). Sending you lots of love, friend, and thanks again for everything! 💜
I apologize that I couldn't tag everyone, so here's a shout out to everyone else, whether we're mutuals or you're followers or just visitors to this blog, we're all friends here, and I love and appreciate all of you! Thank you for making Tumblr such a wonderful place to be! Cheers and much love to you all! 💖
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Conditions for Business | Yandere CEO Steve Rogers x Male Reader (Part 3)
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Pairing: (Verse) Steve Rogers x (Verse) Male Reader
Summary: Steve Rogers is one of the most prominent tech geniuses in the United States after his idea in software broke the industry. But he couldn't have done it without the encouragement of his high school best friend and secret crush- you. Unfortunately, you and Steve had a falling out, and after that, you two were out of each other's lives for good.
At least it seemed that way until Steve needs a new assistant and posts a vague job listing on LinkedIn. Steve's surprised when your application comes across his desk, but he's not going to let you get away this time. Not without any answers, anyway.
Warnings: Another Dark Series I fear. Light for now, but I will tag accordingly when the time comes. Vulgar language/profanity will be featured in this chapter (I saw people including that in warnings now?)
Feel free to like, comment, and reblog if you like what you're reading, y'all KNOW I eat that shit up! It also makes me feel more reassured in my writing so help a brother out! During my mini break, it was the notifications of the lovely comments y'all were leaving that really encouraged my lazy ass to write! More love = more content so thank you guys! (Only math equation in my life that made sense to me)
Disclaimer: I don't own any Marvel characters and this fic is for the enjoyment of myself and others! Don't sue me! 😃
Tagging: lemme know if you want to be added to/removed from my general taglist: @romeoandromeo , @smurfingonthem , @blurredx18 , @namjooncrabs , @glitchybrit , @awkward0ghost , @v0idl1nq , @deadhead404 ,@mcahri , @hirayag , @raspberryyuuki , @aesthetic-history , @teaologyzzz @he4rtfill3dbra1n, @n-e-o-w-r-i-t-e-s , @abbatoirablaze @drainfury , @qlqstqr , @tkishcabral , @marxenash , @evilive , @baka-daa , @stevieuwu @anonymouswolf87 @averyraretatse , @marilynmonroefanfics, @mfairycow, @mysticalzombiecheesecake, @iridescentjt, @dhaialenezi, @saturnsbabe69, @mightbeadisaster, @cheesecakelover13, @theythems-blog, I hope I got everyone and reminder that these are no pressure tags, but thank you all for showing love!
Author's Note: Yeah, this took helluva long time bc I wasn't really sure which direction to take it in (so I decided to try my best butttt maybe in the future when I finish this series, I'll add a special chapter where's it's outtakes/what got cut out). Thanks for continuing to read and trust me all of the support/comments on the last chapter were really motivating me through a tough time! And to that anon that sent an ask in my box saying "Update, bitch 🔪!" ... Sleep with one eye open tonight.
I hope y'all are ready for some DRAMA because this shit really gone escalate 😭 and I'm looking so forward to the comments because it's gone get messy up in here. Fun fact: I almost titled this chapter "You A Bitch, Steve Rogers" 😭
Enjoy this long ass chapter, y'all! 🙋🏾‍♂️💞
<Read Part One HERE and Part Two HERE >
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Part Three: Here's To New Beginnings... And Even Newer Ends
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Previously:
"Hello, Y/N," he says in a low voice that conveys nothing, "it's been a while."
And for some reason, prompted by his words, you're given a little moment where you relive your friendship with him, how much things have changed over time.
"Yeah, it has," you sigh, feeling a bit nostalgic and for a second you shed your professional armor. You want to talk to Stevie, your ex-best friend, not your boss.
"So… How you've been, Stevie?" You ask sincerely, and you flinch when his neutral expression turns cold in an instant and his eyes narrow into a glare that's there for a second, maybe two, before it's gone, and this honestly says a lot more than any detached tone Steve may take with you. He's pissed at you. You feel like you've made a miscalculation.
"You don't get to call me that anymore. It's either boss or Mr. Rogers to you," Steve coolly responds, and although the heat of his glare makes you flinch, it's nothing compared to the "anymore" in his sentence. Shit. You're already fucking this up. You knew he'd be mad-
"As a matter of fact, while you are working for me, you are not to address me unless it is to tell me vital information. You do not come to me with problems, you come to me with solutions. You can't solve a problem? You're gone. You can't meet a deadline? You're gone. There's no excuse for failure," Steve continues on his little power trip.
"It won't happen again, boss," you're quick to spit out before he gets any angrier. This is a well-paying job. You're not going to fuck it up because of your emotions, even though you find it weird that the man in front of you used to be your best friend, and now the two of you aren't even on a first name basis. There's a part of you that wants to say "get outta here with that dumb shit," but you know better. It's Steve's way of establishing distance between you two, which is to be expected because this is his, and now your, workplace.
But if that was the case, why hire you? This is going to cause tension in the office and wouldn't it be better for there to be a calm, cooperative environment? You're so confused.
You nod demurely, waiting for him to be finished.
"Do you understand? Use your words, Y/N," and you have to hold your tongue because this fucker is testing you- you can hear it, the smallest hint of a condescending tone after years of hearing it in any and all social subtexts directed your way.
And he's allowed to call you by your first name? Noted. Steve's already letting it be known that in this relationship he's going to get away with a lot more than you will.
"Yes, boss," you answer, and he nods.
"Good. And under no circumstances are you to reference any past relationship you had with me, under any circumstances," he orders and you can't help but feel a little hurt by that because isn't that why Steve wanted you here to work with him?
If Steve doesn't have any intentions of reconnecting with you, then why is he offering you the job?
"Why did you hire me?" You can't help but blurt out because you've already held your tongue enough and Steve looks at you startled.
"What?"
"I said, why did you hire me?" You step closer and watch as Steve takes a step back, expression guarded.
"Because you were qualified for the position, end of."
You snort, and Steve's eyes snap to you.
"That's a load of shit. I'm sure there were thousands of other applicants that applied for this job, but you went with me. You wanted me enough to make an insane offer-" Steve's eyes snap away from yours, and he looks down and straightens a stack of papers on his desk.
"You're overthinking this," Steve scoffs, but you've done a lot of thinking and you're not going to be swayed.
"Tell me why, then," you insist and Steve breathes out hard.
"There's nothing to tell!" Steve says in a loud voice, hand banging on the desk, and you jump. Steve is acting really unstable, but that's only because he's nervous. He's nervous because you're right. You're like a shark though, having caught the scent of blood already so you press him one last time.
"Tell me why you hired me, Steve!" You shout right back and Steve yells, "I told you not to call me that!" right back and wow, Steve must really hate your guts because the stare he is giving you is sharp enough to kill. Steve looks as shaken as you feel, though, and he turns around to try and compose himself, taking in and exhaling deep breaths you can hear before turning around. His face is relatively calm now.
"Now listen here, Y/N, either this conversation is over or your employment here is," Steve threatens in a smooth voice.
You balk at Steve's statement, at a loss for words because you don't want to lose your job already but it's fucked up of Steve to dangle your job in front of you to stop you two from having a clearly needed conversation.
"Understood, boss," you spit and Steve frowns at you but you just send him a thin-lipped smile and step out the office to see Jessica who looks at you, obviously shocked.
You don't know how much she's heard, but it's clear that she knows something's not right.
"Everything alright, Y/N?" She asks slowly, and you stare at her for a moment, feeling some urge to suddenly spill everything to her, but you hold yourself back. You don't know her.
"Of course, Jessica. Just had a clarifying conversation with Rogers," you answer and you can see the curiosity in Jessica's eyes as she nods and hums. She decides to mind her business, though, which you find surprising.
"Hm, I see." Jessica straightens her shoulders and paints a bright smile onto her face. "Well, first things first, congrats on getting the job! In a week from today, you'll be starting work so for the rest of the week, I'll train you to understand exactly what being an executive assistant for Steve Rogers means," Jessica kindly says.
"Jessica, would you mind directing me to the bathroom?" You ask politely because you really need a moment.
You're confused as hell and something about this situation feels so damn contradictory. It's clear that Steve has some sort of chip on his shoulder, but he wants you to work for him? No. It doesn't make sense. So you do what you whenever you need a second opinion; you call your best friend, Monica.
"Heyyy, Monica," you greet her sweetly, because a lot has happened since you last saw her a few nights ago and you know Monica's going to want to know why you didn't tell her everything from the beginning.
"Oh hey, Y/N, how you've been? Don't think I haven't noticed you ignoring my texts…" Monica says with a 'cut the shit' tone so you decide to come clean.
"I'm sorry, it's just, a lot has happened, and I was trying to wait until I had a handle of the situation before I bothered you with it," you ramble nervously.
"Y/N? What's wrong?" Monica asks, alarmed and you sigh.
"It's a little bit of a long story…" you hear loud rustling on the other side of the phone and you can't make out what that is.
"Well, that works for me because I'm supposed to take lunch now anyway, so start talking, bestie."
And while you're on the phone with Monica, Steve is making a phone call of his own.
"Hey, Buck?"
"Yeah, Steve?" Bucky's quick to answer.
"I think I know what I want to do with Y/N."
"He fucked up, didn't he?" Bucky asks smugly.
"..." Steve doesn't want to deign that with a response.
"Well, what do you have in mind?"
"Something that's a bit not good," Steve says hesitantly and Bucky laughs, a sharp and quick sound.
"Ooh, do tell," Bucky urges and Steve does. He knows just how to play Y/N and leave him high and dry for once.
Later, when you're trudging up the stairs of your apartment building, you see Mr. Velasquez who smiles and waves when he sees you.
"How did it go, Y/N?" You want to be able to tell such a sweet guy that today went well, but your throat feels thick and you can't do it; you can't lie to Mr. Velasquez.
"Well… " you start with a heavy sigh, and just like that, Mr. Velasquez's expression absolutely drops and it makes you feel horrible.
"Oh no… you didn't get the job?" He asks gently and that question catches you off guard.
"No, I got the job! It's just, I don't think my boss likes me," you admit in a quiet voice, and Mr. Velasquez sends you a sympathetic look.
"I see," he says, and then he thinks for a moment before his face brightens and he claps his hands. "Then there's no reason for you to worry at all, the answer to your problem is simple- you just have to make him like you, and then everything will be bien!" Mr. Velasquez enthusiastically suggests and honestly, it's a good suggestion.
Except... Steve doesn't stop being a dick. Long after your training finishes and Jessica leaves, his treatment of you only worsens. Everyday he's perfectly cordial but also dry. He works you to the bone, and every interaction the two of share save for when you're in front of investors, is short and to the point. It drains you so much.
"I'll give it a try," you tell Mr. Velasquez who gives you a smile and a thumbs up before entering his apartment. You don't hear the sweet old man calling your 'jefe' a 'pendejo,' though. (Although you would agree).
Make Steve like you?
It'll be a piece of cake, and will only work as long as Steve stops being a dick.
You try your best to get him to like you, trying to use your knowledge of what he likes to his benefit, but he blocks each and every attempt for the two of you to get close ruthlessly.
One morning, you get up extra early to visit a cafe to pick up the type of coffee you know Steve lived off of in college, and you have it hot and steaming on Steve's desk by the time he comes in, heart beating as you see him take the cup and sip it.
"Y/N?" You practically run into the office with eagerness, waiting to be told you've done well, only to see Steve dunk the entire cup into the little garbage can next to his desk, and you can't hold back the gasp that tears itself out of your throat at the motion.
"I-" you're speechless. The man's evil.
"Don't pull another stunt like this again. The coffee in this office suits me just fine, thank you," Steve says, adjusting his watch as you look at him in horror. That coffee cost you seven dollars but also an extra hour of sleep! You close your eyes against the unnecessary image of throttling Steve, and take in a deep breath and release it quickly.
"Whatever you say, boss," you tell him in a light tone before leaving the office quickly and proceeding to sit down in your desk, quickly reaching for the complimentary stress ball you received your first week of working here. The poor thing's all squeezed out but you latch onto it anyway and get to squeezing until the anger you feel passes.
He pulls more stunts like these, and your only saving grace is lunch time, your escape.
You typically coordinate lunch dates with Salma, aka Ms. Chaudri, the nice receptionist from your first day, because not being able to work with anyone else but Steve really sucks when he's being such a dick towards you, and Salma goes out at the same time as you do.
And the two of you get along well to the point that you two are called work spouses by Salma's colleagues since the two of you look out for each other and have given each other small treats and trinkets. Within two weeks of you working at Cap Incorporated, you do manage to get her that fruit basket, just like she had requested. She loved it, and kept hugging you enthusiastically even though there were either people in the building she had to tend to.
You can't wait to introduce her to Monica, or to ask if she has any nice guy friends she can introduce you to. Salma is good people, so by association, everyone she knows should be good people as well.
One morning, you're walking to the building from the train and to your surprise you can see Steve in the distance, exiting a fancy looking vehicle.
Does Steve have a car? You wonder to yourself, but you're surprised to see it drive off.
Must be a rental, then.
Seeing this makes you think for a moment about how different things are between the two of you now. Steve rents a car to work. You take the train. Is there really a way to bond with him? It feels like you two are galaxies away.
As if he could feel you thinking about him, Steve turns around and catches the sight of you staring, and in the distance you can make out him waving you over so you jog over to him.
But why is he here? His work day starts unofficially at 10 or 11, but here he is, anyway. Maybe he wants a headstart at torturing you. You wouldn't put it past him.
"Morning, boss," you tell him, gripping the strap of your crossbody satchel tightly.
Steve does nothing, just stares at you a moment and then says, "Let's go."
The two of you walk in and you give a little wave to Salma and you don't catch Steve's frown at her.
"What's the matter?" Steve asks and you look at the turnstile and push down the urge to suck your teeth in frustration.
"It's my ID, it won't scan," you answer with frustration, trying to repeatedly scan the card without success.
"Well, you better handle that with the security department. But for now, go to reception for a temporary access pass; I'll wait," Steve says in a huffy voice, crossing his arms and you nod, although you wonder why. He can just go on upstairs, you're not asking him to stay. He steadfastly ignores the curious and interested looks he get as more of his company employees file into the building for their shifts and see THEE Steve Rogers. They're all wise enough to give him a wide berth, all entering through the turnstiles farthest from him.
"Hey, Salma!" You greet warmly, and Salma who's been looking at her computer screen intensely, pops up her head to smile at you.
"Hi, Y/N!" She responds, before leaning in closer to ask, "Are we still on for lunch at one?" And you give her an incredulous look because lunch with her is the one of the reasons you stay sane at this damn job! Sure you can vent to Monica but nothing beats spilling the tea to a friend that's also works on-site the place you're complaining about! There's no way you would willingly cancel.
"Of course, girl!" You say before snatching your ID out of its plastic protective case.
"I take it this isn't a social call, then?" She asks and you shake your head.
"Unfortunately not, Sal. I'm afraid my ID just decided to stop working on me today!"
"No!" She gasps, affronted, and you go along with her theatrics.
"Yes! I couldn't believe it either!" You gasp, clutching at your chest and then you switch to a lower voice because you remember Steve's watching, "So would you mind printing me a temporary access pass with all of the same permissions until I can get Security to print me out a new one?"
"Of course I can! What do you think I'm being paid for?" Salma jokes as you hand over your ID to her so she can type in your information into the system.
"Well, I thought you were being paid to just stay here and look pretty on that little desktop of yours," you playfully flirt and Salma grins at you.
"Well…" Salma pretends to think about it, "that too!" And the two of you laugh some more when the nice moment between the two of you is rudely interrupted.
"Ms. Chaudri," Steve's voice, cold, snaps the two of you out of your conversation and you sigh and turn around, already knowing that Steve is going to say some dumb shit. That's his pissed-off voice.
"Yes, sir?" Salma turns and gives Steve her best 'customer-service' smile. You know it well after seeing her handle a guy that was a dickhead a week ago, and she had thrown the same smile at him while she called security to escort the guy out.
"Please just print out Y/N's access pass. We have a busy day ahead of us," Steve continues, tone a bit more cordial, but still short and you frown. Why is Steve taking an attitude with Salma?
"Right away, sir," she responds, sweet as pie, returning to her work, but when she looks up at you, her eyes are practically screaming 'what's his problem?'
You shake your head and lean in, feigning that you're looking at her computer when you're actually murmuring to her, "I'll tell you all about it at lunch." Salma gives you a small nod and continues to tap on her computer, flashing another smile at Steve.
"One access pass ready for use!" Salma presents it to you and you thank her for it, before quickly scanning it and joining Steve. It appears his patience has worn thin, and you don't want to push him any further, (although you didn't ask him to wait for you).
"Y/N." Steve says once the both of you are in the elevator.
"Yes?" You ask, scrolling through your phone. You're not allowed to check it while on the clock so this is your last opportunity to make sure that your affairs are in order.
"Do I need to remind you that this is a workplace, not a club. You're here to work, not flirt. Please don't engage in such unprofessional conduct like that again, or I'll be forced to-" Steve starts and you look at him in disbelief.
"Flirt? Unprofessional? Salma's my friend! What you overheard was simply friendly banter, boss," you sass with a sugary sweet tone, but Steve's face remains unchanged.
"Well, you can banter on your own time, outside of work."
"I think I will! Let me see if she's free tonight after work," you make a point of saying, and Steve's face tightens. You hold your smirk back because you know he wasn't expecting you to say that.
So is he mad because he thought you were flirting or because he thought you were wasting company time? It doesn't matter anyway because it's such a bullshit thing to get mad at. Technically you weren't even on the clock downstairs, so exactly what company time was wasted?
Besides, you've caught the doofus playing Candy Crush on "Company Time" so you know the guy's full of shit and just wants to give you a hard time.
"That won't be possible," he counters, face pinched.
"And why not?" You ask, crossing your arms, and Steve huffs.
"Because you're working late, tonight," Steve answers and you scoff. What? You had no plans to do overtime tonight.
"Says who?" You ask before thinking and Steve turns and gives you a smug smile.
"Says me. My file cabinet needs re-sorting and trust me, it'll take a long, long time. Unless," Steve steps closer to you, and he's in your personal space now, "that's a problem, Y/N?"
And why was he so close to you? It's this some other kind of intimidation tactic? You're not afraid of Steve, not when you've known him since he was a teen whose head barely came up to your shoulders.
"No, it's not. I'll get on it right after I handle some correspondence between us and Shinigami Corps," you tell him with a bright smile because you're determined to not let Steve get to you. One way or another, you need him to warm up to you so he'll stop being an ass.
He leaves at four, but makes you stay until eleven. Bitch.
...
Steve doesn't know why he is so bothered by that front desk receptionist. She's always been polite to him and others in the past but Steve couldn't help feeling annoyed when watching the two of you interact like you were close friends, or even worse, flirting. Steve knows nothing about your love life or your outside life because you haven't shared anything with him but that's his fault for shutting you out from the first day.
And to be honest, he almost regrets it… he kind of misses being your friend. Having you around all of the time isn't enough, because Steve is reminded of the good old days when you two were as thick as thieves, which forces him to dwell on why you two are so estranged now. Remembering how you suddenly cut him out of your life is something that never fails to make Steve's chest feel tight with anger and hurt so he makes things even worse by being an ass of a boss, but it's not easy. He still wants to share things with you, talk to you, joke around with you. Sure, he had a small crush on you then, but he's gotten over it, and he's definitely not affected by being in your presence, at all.
Nope, not a bit.
God, Steve wishes he could lie to himself.
...
The tension between you two doesn't improve over the next week after that, and as a result, you can't but anxiously wait for the end of the workday everyday. It sucks, having to communicate with someone for nine hours who hates your guts but is also the one signing your checks. Especially since you've been overworking yourself, trying to go above and beyond trying to be his friend again.
5pm rolls around much faster than you're expecting but you hurriedly pack your crossbody satchel anyway because you feel braindead from all the data entry today. While you pack, you don't notice your wallet falling out onto the floor. Secretaries never leave ahead of their bosses and typically lock up, but tonight is a different night seeing as how it looks like Steve will be staying here all night to finish tying things up with the accounts.
"Night," you say to alert Steve to the fact that you're leaving as you head to clock out for the day, and as usual receive no response. He's such a dick.
...
Steve does notice something falling out of your bag as you leave but he's too preoccupied to call out to you and alert you when he has to get these accounts done right. When he finally finishes going through then, he gets up and walks over to where he had seen something drop out of your bag. To his surprise, the item is an old leather wallet, and for some reason, it looks familiar to him.
If it Y/N's, why does he remember it? When he goes to pick it up, it slides out of his hand, and to his surprise, everything falls out of it, cards and bills sliding out across the floor.
Steve curses and goes to pick it all up, when he notices something, a small folded up paper amongst the pile.
He can't explain it, but something just compels him to open up that paper, despite knowing it's an invasion of privacy and that if you were here, you'd rip him a new one, but you're not, so…
Steve opens up the paper and gasps.
It's the picture of a tree, one he sketched many years ago, and the first drawing he's ever shared with anyone else, a drawing he wanted to share with a nice guy who had decided to come and talk to him of all people when he was just an anxious kid in high school. And for a second, Steve is transported back to that day, when he was wondering if anyone would come sit next to him, and there you were, all smiles and compliments, talking to Steve, making him come out of his shell with ease.
You still had this?
"Why is he still carrying this?" Steve asks himself, looking over the picture. It's obvious you cared about it enough to keep it, and Steve's heart starts to race. Could it mean that you do care about Steve, and have all these years?
And all of a sudden, Steve can't help but think everything over, remembering the past month, how he's treated you coldly and shut down your every attempt to get close. Embarrassment washes over him as he recalls how you actually tried to connect with him in that first meeting and how he shut you down and asked you to call him Mr. Rogers. Perhaps, after all this time, you weren't the one to close the door, he was.
Steve is hit with this overpowering urge to make everything right, so he calls you.
...
Steve calls you.
Yes, boss?" You answer, not bothering to hide your exhaustion. For some reason, you couldn't find your wallet so that meant you had no cash, no cards on your person so when it was time to take the train, you had to hop the turnstiles, something you hadn't done since years back as a teen. Only thing was that you were a bit rusty and ended up banging your forehead as you did and so you had a killer headache that stuck with you even after you got home, and now you had to talk to Steve.
Steve flinches at the annoyed tone of your voice, but thinks he deserves it anyway with the way he's been acting.
"Y/N?" Steve sounds weird. You sit up straighter in your seat.
"Yes? Is everything alright?" Sure, you're mad at the guy but it's not like you wished him wrong. There's no response from the other end of the line.
"I can't hear you… is everything alright Steve? Sorry, I meant bos-"
"You can call me Steve. I wanted you to know you left your wallet behind." That explains why you couldn't find it! But why is he calling to tell you that? He could've waited until tomorrow to tell you but he's calling you now.
Unless he saw the picture.
"So you saw…?" You ask, training off because you know he knows what you're talking about.
I did." Steve goes quiet for a while and then he speaks again but his voice is softer now. "I never knew you kept it," he continues and you sigh. You really weren't expecting this turn of events.
"Yeah, I did," you answer, voice almost as soft as Steve's and the silence between you two is really loud now, and it feels like you're on the precipice of something unknown.
"Well, why did you?"
"Why? I'm surprised you even have to ask, Steve," you say in disbelief. "You were my first real best friend and that is the first, no, the only drawing you ever gave to me. The only drawing I've ever seen!" You add, bitterly thinking of how Bucky must've been able to see so many more, but you shake your head and continue. "Of course I'm going to hold onto it; there's a lot of sentimental value attached to it. Besides, even if you're a techbro now, I've always thought you were going to go down the art route," you add because you genuinely did think that at one point.
You're surprised that there isn't a gallery somewhere hosting Steve's art, even if you've never really gotten to see it after years of seeing Steve draw furiously in that notebook of his. Steve, on the other hand, currently feels shaken.
"Oh."
"Yeah," you say, feeling a bit like you revealed more than he expected.
"Well, thank you," you add suddenly, remembering your manners.
"For what?" Steve asks confused, and you frown, even though he can't see it.
"For letting me know about the wallet."
"Yeah, no problem."
Steve's frozen. All that's on his mind is whether or not it's too late to salvage the relationship that, in his mind, was once a lost cause.
"Steve?" You snap him out of his stupor.
"Hmm?" Steve hums.
"I asked if there was anything else."
"No, no that's it," Steve insists.
"Okay then, goodnight," you say awkwardly before you end the call, and Steve's there looking at the phone, thinking.
...
The next morning when you arrive at the office, there's a scent of coffee and fresh baked pastries that hits your nose.
*Steve?" You call out, confused because almost Steve's never in the same time as you are.
"In here," Steve calls back and when you open the door, there's steaming boxed coffee and dishes filled with pastries and fresh fruit.
"Is there a meeting I forgot to schedule?" You ask panicked and Steve chuckles, and his voice sounds closer and when you look
"No, I just felt like having a really nice breakfast today," Steve answers but you feel like that's not the only reason.
"Well, that's a lot of food," you comment.
"Well, it's not going to be just me eating. Help yourself," Steve gestures to the table and you look at him, surprised. The way he's been acting, you thought he would've let you starve first.
"Thanks…" you say cautiously and look at the food with suspicion. Maybe it's poisoned.
"Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with it so go ahead and eat," Steve urges with a smile on his face, and you nod and cautiously grab a plate and start to pile foods on top of it before scampering back to your desk like a squirrel.
Steve is weirdly nice to you after that, and you keep on side-eyeing him because you're wondering where this kindness is coming from. He encourages you to eat breakfast before work, and has surprise lunches delivered to the office so you don't have to go out. You're allowed to leave earlier. Steve's even talking to you like a human being with emotions. It's really, really nice.
It's also really fucking suspicious, and one thing about you- you are not Boo Boo the fool. But it all becomes clear next week when Steve's phone starts to ring.
"Would you get that for me, Y/N?" Steve asks and you nod, and head to his office.
"Of course, boss," you give him a small smile before heading out.
A voice comes across the line that instantly makes your mood drop.
"Hey Steve!" James fucking Barnes greets cheerfully, "How's the ruthless firing of y/n plan going? You haven't mentioned it much, lately, or even checked in with me and Sam!"
The what?
'Ruthless firing of Y/N plan'?
What the fuck was that?
Steve is planning to fire you? Why? You're a great employee; rising to meet Steve's expectations with diligence. You work hard, arrive early and leave late, and in return, Steve wants to get rid of you? That doesn't make sense. You know you've made yourself an asset to Steve.
Wait, why did Bucky say it was a plan? Exactly how long has Steve been planning to fire you?
"Hellooo? Stevie, you still there?" Bucky asks and you keep quiet and don't move an inch, hoping Bucky ends the call himself.
"Hello? Can you hear me? I can't hear you," Bucky tries again and you roll your eyes, but you decide to take some sheets of Blank paper and crumple them up near the receiver, 90s style.
"I think I hear static coming from your line, so I'll try to call you back in a couple of hours, by that time your line issues should be fixed," Bucky finally hangs up, and you return to processing his words when you have a revelation.
Steve's been planning to fire you from the beginning.
He only wanted you to sign on so he can get his revenge on you ending things between the two of you.
It makes sense. The absurd requests, the wasting of your time, Steve just being an asshole- the man's probably been enjoying making your life hell the past few weeks. It's so petty- it's so Steve, as much as he tries to play the "I'll be the bigger man" card, he really does have quite the mean streak.
"Oh, that's so fucked up," you groan to yourself, raising a hand to your forehead because you feel the headache brewing.
What are you going to do? This is a high paying job despite all of Steve's shenanigans.
But you can't work at a place where your employment is in doubt, waiting until Steve finally gets bored of playing with you and then firing you. No, you can't do it. You're going to quit on your own terms.
You realize that you're still holding the phone in the air dumbly after Bucky hung up and this makes you only angrier, so you slam the phone down on the receiver. The sound of the slam catches Steve's attention.
"Who was that, Y/N?" Steve calls out, craning his head to look into his office and your mind blanks as you scramble to tell him something, shooting him a fake smile.
"Reception. Just a small login issue. Everything good on your end over there?" You ramble, surprising yourself at your quick thinking
"I logged in just fine," Steve answers, and you nod your head.
"Good, real good," you tell him in a deadpan voice and he raises an eyebrow at you but doesn't push it, which is a good thing because you would've called him a dickhead.
You can't believe this guy, playing hot and cold with you. Who is he to decide to play around with your feelings? To threaten up your literal livelihood because of a grudge?
You never understood why your application has been chosen so quickly when you know your resume wasn't outstanding. You never understood why Steve had made such an effort to bring you in with incentives, just to treat you coldly one day and warm the other. He's toying with you! And lately, he's been buttering you up, being less of an asshole so you can let your guard down so that for the sake of his own entertainment, he can "ruthlessly" fire you when you last expect it.
Must've talked it over with his boyfriend, Bucky, first. And who the fuck is Sam?
Steve thinks he can fuck you over? You'll show him fucked over. You put the files you've been working on for record entry to the side, because from this moment, you're not working anymore.
You don't meet Steve's demands, you "forget" to place an important call bridging Steve's company with all Acords, and you take an extra long lunch break with Salma, lunch that was on you since you charge it to the company expense account, ignoring all of Steve's texts buzzing your work and personal phone. When you get upstairs Steve's waiting for you, looking angry as hell.
Good.
"Y/N! What the hell is wrong with you? You know that today I needed-" Steve starts, and you roll your eyes.
"I quit." You tell him and Steve's eyes bulge in shock. You really caught him off guard it seems.
"What?!"
"Oh, you're surprised that I didn't wait for you to fire me?" You ask, crossing your arms and Steve's face drops.
"What are you talking about?" Steve asks, but his voice is shaky.
"It's nothing… can't believe I trusted you," you say, shaking your head from side to side and Steve glares at you.
"What do you mean by that? And who are YOU, of all people, to talk about trust; the same guy who suddenly ghosted his best friend of 5 years?!" Steve spits and whoop, there it is- the anger you know Steve was holding onto.
"Nothing, you're completely right Steve. Let me not waste any more of your time. Goodbye, Rogers," you tell him, and turn to head to your desk to start and pack your things but Steve grabs your arm.
"No, you're not leaving! This is the same shit you pulled all those years back the last time you visited me after we had a small argument. You said "you're right, Steve" and then snuck out behind my back!" Steve rants and when you turn to look at him, Steve's eyes look glassy. He's fighting back tears. Fuck.
"Steve…" you're shocked, not expecting this reaction from him.
"You never really explained that either!" Steve continues, and suddenly your sympathy turns into anger because why is he trying to flip this onto you?
"Wait! The person who should be explaining themselves is you, not me, Steve!" You direct the conversation, and you snatch your arm out of Steve's hand.
"What?" Steve asks, but his voice is weaker.
"Don't act dumb now. You wanted this conversation, let's have it! Were you planning on firing me or not?" You question him, and Steve squirms under your attention.
"What gave you that idea?" Steve manages to save face at the last second, trying to adopt an unaffected mask but you see right through that shit.
"Bucky." You answer, and that's all it takes.
Steve's face pales and he swallows thickly. Caught him.
"How? Wait, that's not important. If he- if he said something, I assure you he didn't mean it," Steve rushes to say but his words fall on deaf ears.
"Did you know you have a tell whenever you're lying?" You ask instead and Steve's eyes flit around before meeting yours and fleeting away again.
"No?" Steve's nervous.
"Well, you do. You stutter. So why are you stuttering now, Steve?" You cock your head and examine Steve, and he looks more unnerved by the second.
"I'm- I'm not lying, just nervous," Steve stutters and you give him a look.
"Why are you nervous?" You follow up with, although he should've seen that coming.
"Because you're questioning me like this and I don't know why!" Steve yells, and God, he's a good actor. He's almost convincing, and if it weren't the fact that you heard about his plan with your two own ears, you'd believe him.
"So what is it? Why do you really want to quit? Did something happen? Did you get a counter offer? Whatever it is, I'll match it. I just got you back here," Steve says desperately, and he's really putting on a grade A performance.
"Yeah sure, buddy, as if you really want me working here," you easily brush off his pleas and Steve makes a noise of frustration.
"I do!" He insists, but you're not moved.
"Then why did Bucky tell me about your plans to spontaneously fire me? Because that would explain why you couldn't tell me you hired me," you point out and Steve's face just… falls and you curse, because that means you really are right.
Steve never could hold a poker face for shit, ever since he was a teen.
"Oh, so you have it all figured out," Steve sighs, and then he wearily takes a seat.
"Yeah, I do," You tell him in a biting tone, "And since you seem to really want to know, I only ghosted you because you hurt me then and never cared to ask. But what's your excuse for trying to hurt me now?"
"Hurt you?" Steve repeats, confused, and you sigh. You did not come in here expecting to have this conversation.
"Steve, you were so blinded by your love for Barnes that you hardly registered how you did me dirty! And when I tried to bring it up, you brushed me off!" You explained and now you can feel the anger you tried so hard to keep a handle on, start to build.
"Jesus, Y/N. You decided to end our friendship over a small thing like that?" Steve asks dubiously and you give him a nasty look.
"No! It was more than that! It was about the fact that I suddenly couldn't talk to you anymore- you never had time for me! Any time I tried to do something with you, there was always something getting in the way with you, whether it was Bucky," you spit his name out, "or you finding you didn't have time for me. I ended the relationship because it was clear that I was no longer as important to you as you were to me!" And you didn't even realize it, but over the course of your conversation you had started to get closer to Steve and suddenly the two of you were only a hand's distance apart. At some point in time, Steve had stood back up.
"Y/N… " Steve starts but you cut him off.
"No! I don't want to hear it. I tried bringing it up but you were never available and I realized I was the only one present in our friendship. And it hurt. It hurt a lot, Steve," Steve's face is one of guilt and it hurts you to see so you turn away.
"Y/N, I didn't know…" Steve says with the utmost sincerity but it makes your face fall flat.
"Yeah, that's because you didn't care. And now that I think about it, that makes this whole situation twice as fucked up!" You whirl around and place your attention back on Steve who flinches.
"Who the fuck decides to hire someone with the plans to fire them? Do you realize how fucking horrible that is, messing with someone's livelihood?" You step closer to Steve again and this time, you lean in real close so he could understand you mean business.
"I'm not some sort of fucking game you can play, Steve," You warn him in a low voice, because alright he was your pal then doesn't mean he's your pal now and now you have a real urge to fight him, something you've never felt when it came to Steve. Steve only sighs in response, and rubs a hand over his face.
"I know and I feel horrible about it, Y/N," Steve groans, "I couldn't even fall asleep last week. The realization that I was being an ass kept me up." You snort, because his apology doesn't cut it all.
"Was this before or after you found the picture?" You ask candidly, and Steve looks at you, confused.
What?"
"You only felt guilty because you saw that I still had the drawing, didn't you?" You press, crossing your arms and Steve looks down before sighing.
"...Yeah."
"I knew it!" You exclaim and Steve flinches, but you're not done with him yet.
"And what? You just thought that some breakfast and a, may I add coerced, apology would fix everything? Would fix the way you treated me, or the fact that you planned to fire me?" You point out, and Steve shakes his head.
"No, of course not, but I wasn't giving to do it anymore. Last week made me realize that I had you figured out all wrong and -"
"But what if I didn't drop my wallet last week? You would've just went on with your plan, wouldn't you?" You ask, and Steve stays silent a long time.
"Yes," he finally answers, and all the fight just leaves you. He can't even meet your eyes.
"God, what's happened to you?" You ask in disgust.
"Actually, on second thought, I don't care." You walk over to your desk, and start to shove things off your desk into your bag.
"Y/N…"
"Don't even say my name right now, Rogers," you spit, feeling dangerous.
"I'm sorry," he says weakly and you were tired of his dumb fucking apologies.
"And what exactly does your apology do for me, Steve? Does it fix anything? Because I'm telling you right now that it does not!" You tell him sharply, and Steve flinches and he's definitely tearing up again but you're done.
There's a mean part of you that wants to taunt him and ask, "Oh, so you want to cry now?" But you hold back. You're not going to stoop his level.
"I'm so outta here," you sigh, tired of this headass situation.
"Y/N, don't go!" Steve tries, but you're almost done packing.
"Why should I stay?" You ask, without caring to hear Steve's answer.
"Because I'll treat you right, now! And besides, you're the reason I'm CEO of this company. More than anyone, you deserve to be here, Y/N!" Steve rants and what? You can understand him saying that he'll treat you right, but the part about belonging at the company? That doesn't make any sense.
...
Right now, Steve's mind is spinning; he needs you tunderstand what he means.
"It was you, Y/N, all those years ago! You were the one who encouraged to pursue my idea and get it started. You're the reason Cap Incorporated is even a thing!" Steve rambles and you gasp, remembering that night long ago when you and Steve had bared your hearts to each other.
To Steve, it's all crystal clear.
Can't you see that he's just want to make it up to you? YOU'RE the reason he's so successful.
YOU'RE the reason he's a CEO.
YOU'RE the reason his business runs so well because YOU'RE taking care of him, even when he was a horrible boss to you.
He needs you, don't you see that? And he'll do anything to keep you with him, especially now that he knows that you did care all of these years. He feels frantic with his desperation, and starts babbling.
"What do you want, Y/N? I'll give it to you! What is it- is the salary not enough? Are there not enough benefits? Are the hours too long? Do you need a vacation?"
"Steve-"
"No! You don't just get to tell me that you quit, Y/N!" Steve yells, and you jump, because what the fuck?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to yell. It's just- you can't quit, not when you've just come back into my life after 5 long years," Steve says softly and you look away, heart breaking again because all you can see in front of you is the same Stevie you met in that high school classroom years ago back before your relationship went to hell.
"So I'm going to ask you, Y/N, and I want you to think before you answer- what can I do to make you stay? Because the answer is yes!"
Steve's desperate and it's breaking your heart but you can't do this anymore. Working with Steve means putting him first and you can't. Not when he had no problem mistreating you when he thought you had wronged him. And the fact that he thinks he can just buy you, only strengthens your resolve.
"I'm sorry, Steve. There's nothing you can do, because I can't work for you anymore-" you tell him mournfully, and Steve's face turns red from rage, and his expression is the coldest you've ever seen it.
"Get out." Steve turns away from you.
"What?" You can't believe it, man was just begging you to stay and now he wants you to go?
"I said, GET OUT!" Steve yells, turning to look at you and his eyes, red and teary, scare you because you've never seen Steve get this angry.
"GET OUT!"
"Alright, alright!" You yell and you book it outta there, easily because you're already packed. You hate the fact that there are tears in your eyes as you leave.
You'll find another job, you just hate the fact that you have to experience moving on from Steve Rogers again.
...
On the other hand, Steve thinks of how he came so close again, and how he messed it all up. You came back, and he made you leave.
"Fuck!" Steve yells because who's going to hear him? He's on this floor all alone.
Yes, all alone. Just like he'll always be, no matter how much money or influence Steve has, he always manages to drive people away from him. His short-lived relationships, if they could even be called that, can attest to that. He wish he'd stop, but he doesn't know how.
He heads back over to the gym and he doesn't even bother to change out of his clothes or find his gloves, he sheds off his shirt and sports coat and leaves it on a pile on the floor. He makes a beeline straight to his punching bag and tears into it, punching it bare-knuckled.
How can he fix this? He sends another forceful hit to the bag.
"Think, Rogers, think," Steve pants, breath coming fast from the exertion of his exercise. How can he get you back? You were here working for him and he ruined that-
A light bulb goes off in Steve's head, an idea that's quite morally dubious, but does he really have a choice? How else is he going to show you that he means business?
He freezes and holds the punching bag in his hands, and finally feels stable, centered.
He knows how to get you back. And this time, you'll actually listen to him. He'll make sure of that.
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spacelazarwolf · 8 months
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what was the morg debacle? is that the thing that happened recently or was there another thing?
there have apparently been a lot of morg debacles. the most recent one that i'm aware of was when he made a random callout about me, claimed we were friends, and that i hated ppl in wheelchairs?? i had blocked him when his username was penis-peeper bc i didn't like the way he spoke to ppl and went after ppl and just didn't want to interact with him, but apparently that blog got deleted and he remade under another username, and ended up following me. i saw his new username in my notes a few times but didn't realize it was him, and then when i reblogged a post someone else made abt someone being ableist toward autistic ppl and excusing it because they were physically disabled, he did the whole callout post thing and started a tag with my username. it was really weird. i blocked him and the ppl liking and reblogging his posts bc i didn't wanna deal with the harassment that's typical of callout posts.
and like. he has a lot to be angry about. ableism is horrible and violent, and the way the world treats him is not fair. but the way he lashes out and is ableist toward other disabled ppl (typically autistic ppl, and weirdly enough usually other physically disabled ppl) is also not fair.
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sam-loves-seb · 5 months
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gallavich questions
thanks for the tag (and the questions) @callivich !!
What’s a fic you’ve read more than once? intro to quantum dating by @spoonfulstar, i think i've read it 3 or 4 times now, it's one of my all time favorites
What’s a gifset you always have to reblog? anytime i see a gifset from that one s5 deleted scene, yeah that one, i have to reblog
What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about? i have a very specific headcanon for a tattoo ian gets post-canon for mickey, and i hesitate to even explain it now bc i think one day i do wanna write a fic about him getting it, but whatever--my headcanon is that he gets an M tattooed on his left ring finger and it's a subtle yet sweet nod to his husband. (i could talk about this for 9 hours but i will limit myself and stop here)
What’s a fanart you love looking at? i've spent an obscene amount of time staring at this fanart by @doodlevich it just checks all my boxes (domestic, husbands, fluff, etc.) and it's so well done, i'm obsessed with this pieces
What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration? listen, i have this idea for a rock band au that lives rent fucking free in my head, and if i can find the time and the inspiration to actually turn these vibes and unorganized plot points into actual words and a coherent story in the new year, then maybe it'll see the light of day in 2024 but no promises. for now, i leave you with this: four milkovich siblings are in a rock band that is rising to success with the launch of their second studio album and subsequent tour, and ian gallagher is lead singer mandy's (fake) boyfriend--at least in the eyes of the public--and he spends some time that summer touring with the band and hooking up with their lead guitarist in secret until the band's manager/father catches wind of what's going on behind closed doors
What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else? i've always been a post-canon enthusiast for almost all of my ships, but i think before gallavich i always envisioned them with a very cookie cutter standard american dream family with the house and the careers and the 2.5 kids, which usually fits a lot of my ships, but with gallavich i... don't have that same vision ?? i think they're actually my first ship that i hc more often than not without kids in their post canon life, which is a new vibe for me entirely but i kinda love reading/writing it. idk if that answers the question you asked, but it definitely answered a question
What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of? honestly i want more s9/10 prison era gallavich fics (and/or fanart). i think it's a gold mine era with so much untapped potential, and there are very few fics/series/whatever that really get deep with it and get to the good stuff of these two boys who haven't spent any significant time together in years but still love each other like they did way back when
What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show? it flip-flops for me between s4 and s5, like right now i think it's s5 but idk if i could actually pick one or the other as my absolute favorite
What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved? i would give my left arm to know how the fuck (and why the fuck) mickey started rolling with his dad again in post-prison s10 era, like in 10x08 he's going to terry for advice on how to protect ian, just for terry to try to kill him again 3 episodes later ??? make it make sense john wells i'm under your bed
What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough? personally i think the promise ring scene in 10x09 is criminally underrated and not talked about nearly enough, like you don't understand how happy that scene made me (stay with me here) seeing mickey stand up and fight for the future he really wants with ian and not settling for anything less
What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship? can i do song lyrics? i'm gonna do song lyrics--i've always thought the song godlight by noah kahan was very gallavich, especially the chorus, and especially during s4/5/6 era and it may or may not be a piece of inspiration for my big bang canon divergent fic
What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale? i think they take a while to really settle into their new place and and make it their own, and it's a bit of an adjustment (for both of them) to fit in with this new crowd and this new environment, but they're learning how to grow and evolve together and at the end of the day that's all that really matters to the both of them
tagging: literally anyone who wants to play bc my brain is tired and i am too tired to try and remember everyone i probably should tag
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grottylittlefox · 13 days
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This blog has been changing and I think I should explain!
To be straight forward, I don’t think I’m in the Hogwarts Legacy ‘fandom’ anymore. My love for the wizarding world as a whole goes beyond that (and always has done) and I just don’t really feel the same attachment to Sebastian and ominis etc the way I used too when the game was new, when I see posts of them and other characters on my feed I kinda feel nothing and I don’t really engage with it anymore unfortunately
For a while this blog has leaned towards the cursed child bc that’s been my corner of this fandom for years and always will be!! I also post a lot about mine and my friends OCs and rp bc I honestly just care more about fan created content and what my friends are doing I guess, it’s still all within the Harry Potter / Hogwarts Legacy universe but it’s not HL canon specific
I’ll still probably post screenshots of Greta in the game and the castle bc I love to just walk around the map and immerse myself in it, I might post the odd pic of Sharp once in a while, but overall I wouldn’t consider this a HL blog anymore and I might change my username
I also don’t think I’m going to finish my fic which annoys even me bc I have the ending in my head and it’s good, but to put it plainly I fell out of love with Sebastian for a lot of reasons and can’t really put myself in the mindset to write about him anymore, maybe one day that will change but idk right now
There are also parts of the fandom that make me wildly uncomfortable and I kinda don’t wanna associate myself with it anymore, idk what it is about the HL corner of the HP fandom specifically but it’s certainly a vibe and it’s not my vibe
Like sometimes I get comments and tags on reblogs of my old HL posts that are just … gross lol
Also had a lot of awful irl things happen to me this year that I won’t go into that I think has made me realise that maybe being in this space isn’t that healthy for me anymore and I’ll probably be quietly exiting and unfollowing a lot of spaces
So to anyone who notices, this blog will still be a Harry Potter esque space just not a HL / Sebastian fan blog
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babycatlix · 1 year
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hello friends! 💖 and happy new year! i hope 2023 is kind to us all! 
let’s just get into it! at the tail-end of 2021, i wasn’t really sure i was going to stay on tumblr. a lot of the friends i had made on my main and on another side blog had moved on from tumblr/we didn’t talk anymore. the few IRL friends i do have, i don’t follow on here bc i got rid of my old account (c. 2011) so i wasn’t really sure i was going to even be on tumblr during 2022. 
but then... march, 2022, my friend wanted to show me a music video. i wasn’t super jazzed but said “okay.” and he said, “have you heard of stray kids?” and me being into kpop for the better part of 16-ish years i said, “yes, i’ve heard of stray kids. i don’t stan, but i have heard of them.” fast forward a few weeks, he’s made me watch the maniac mv like 10 times and he thinks now is a good time to tell me, “by the way, stray kids is a self-producing group.” in case you didn’t know, i love groups that self-produce. see the other groups i love, bigbang, bts, seventeen, winner and ikon. so as soon as he said that, i was done for. i fell even deeper into kpop and fell into stray kids. 
in april, 2022 i decided that i should make a side blog for stray kids. i didn’t think it would grow into what it has. i just thought it would be like my itzy and blackpink side blogs, where i occasionally post some fan photos and other ppls creations. instead... i thought a good way for me to catch up on 4 years of content was to start giffing and here we are. i say this every time i do a follow forever, but i'm so happy here in my corner of stayblr. everyone is so kind and wonderful! and i want to thank everyone that shows my gifsets love! i'll tag some ppl below, but i want to mention a few special ppl to me first:
@yonglixx and @quokki my lovely sun ☀️ and ale! 💚 we may not talk a whole lot these days, life is busy and school is way too much, but you two were some of the first ppl on stayblr that i really talked to 💖 you guys were my first mutuals 😭🥰
@jinniebit ahhhh anna! we also don't talk a whole lot, but you are special to me! i followed you from your svt main and when i realized that you were here on stayblr, i plucked up my courage (i'm a huge chicken when it comes to interacting first! 🙈) and filled out your mutual form 💖 and i'm so glad i did!
@changbeens wonderful, amazing, talented bee! you mentioned me in your birthday follow forever and i was like, "how have i NOT seen them in my notifs?!" turns out, i was just blind, you were there all along. i love the way you express yourself and you never hesitate to stand up for your friends.
@sunnishine my sunshine 🥰 i'm so glad you were brave one day (i know it took a lot of courage and i'm proud of you 😭) and reblogged one of my gifsets, bc you gave me my own tag and an emoji to go with it 🥺 it was so cute and tbh... i was so nervous to tell you that i wanted a different emoji 😂 but i did and the rest is history.
okay, with the sappy emotional stuff out of the way, here are other ppl that i love a whole lot. if you're not following them, consider doing so! they're all so talented and wonderful! no special order, just alphabetical!
@agibbangs / @atinystraykid / @chanrizard / @chanstopher / @cheekyquokka / @freckledbbokkiee / @geniaparadox / @ggthydrangea / @hanjesungs / @hanjisoonie / @hyunchanz / @jerirose / @jisungs / @juiceofmoons / @jisungsjaistandjeekies / @khairemisthios / @lee--felix / @leefelex / @leenow / @minzbins / @missyedits / @nevoono / @seo-changbinnies / @skz-films / @snug-gyu / @straykidsgallery / @winterfloral
i love you all, you've made being here on stayblr so nice and wonderful! i would've done this sooner, but i worked both new years eve and new years day. but better late than never! i hope 2023 is kind to us all! 💖
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eirian · 3 months
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did a little introspection today and realized that--and this is probably not surprising to any of yall--i may have serious fomo issues when it comes to creating stories/projects/art in general.
some of my stories are genuinely stories i want to create! mirrors being one of them, one way dream being another. but others, it feels like i only created them bc i saw other ppl making similar things and i wanted in on the fun. which i guess isnt...COMPLETELY a bad thing, but i think for me it does get to an unhealthy place, because i work my brain really really hard to come up with something that both me and others will enjoy, but mostly others, and it strains me.
i think i was spoiled with doppelganger being my first public comic/story. every page i posted got hundreds, sometimes thousands, of notes, and every one had lots of comments/replies/tags in the reblogs. it made me feel so happy that people were receiving my story so well and loving it!
i guess it just bums me out that my other stories--namely mirrors specifically--dont get nearly as much love. and i know i know, i should be doing it for my own sake, for my own enjoyment! but you gotta understand how it feels to go from having everyone obsess and fawn over your fanart comic and then have radio silence on your original work. i put a lot of passion into dpg, i did. but i have even more love and passion for my original characters and stories. so i guess it does really bum me out that my more original stuff doesnt get received even a fraction as well as doppelganger did.
i know this isnt an experience unique to me. but man does it suck u_u
at this point i cant tell if some of my stories are genuine interests of mine that i want to go through with or if theyre situations where i saw someone else doing something and wanted to do it too because i didnt want to be left out. i know for a fact that blessed is the latter, and maybe legend is too. i know this new furry story im tryna make is the latter as well. pretty accident is somewhere in the middle i think, and villain + school and mirrors are very genuine thankfully..
i mentioned "art in general" and that relates to fanart. sometimes i just draw things bc i feel like others will like them but it doesnt come from a place of 100% "i want to draw this for me". kind of relates to the comic/story situation.
man idk. feels bad. thats all.
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honkycatwriting · 7 months
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new, pls reblog! looking for new friends :)
hi i'm erin, a 22 year old writer from the USA, and this is a new account i made!! i've had a few in the past but i didn't feel like revamping them so i have this one now. looking for new friends/mutuals/writing buddies/beta readers!!
a lot of my posts will be rwrb related rn bc hyperfixation BUT i'll list a lot of the other things i like in the tags
(also i wanna make music in the future too bc i love it so if any of y'all wanna talk music with me i would give you a big kiss on the lips)
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Hi Weird Question, but how many followers would you ballpark say you have gotten from posting about qsmp?
I ask this because Ive been on tumblr for a LONG while, I have run multiple fandom blogs and this is the worst follow to notes ratio I have ever gotten for a blog (it is relativity new as well though). I don't want to sound weird and complain about the number of followers I have, but of the 523 posts in my blog, 38 are original posts. I have 236 notes total from those 38. and zero followers. compared to when one of my other blogs was at this size I would have somewhere of a ballpark of 10ish especially with a few posts chilling way above the average of 6 notes
I feel like this could be an issue much like the issue pertaining to people not reblogging stuff, but also I may need to reevaluate the way im interacting with people on this site >_<.
that's kind of a hard question bc i was gaining followers from the trigun fandom very shortly before i started posting about qsmp, so there was a period of overlap, but i guess when i switched to posting primarily about qsmp i would say i've gained approx. 350-400 followers. i typically get anywhere between 100-1000 notes on any qsmp post i make (excluding liveblogging) and i am apparently a more popular blog because i write fanfiction and make analysis posts on occasion which has made me weirdly well known in some places of the fandom and that is terrifying i hate being perceived HELP
ANYWAY i think a better blog to use as an example would be when i had to use a new blog because this one was unfairly flagged for a couple weeks. i used a previously unused sideblog to liveblog and make posts on since posts on my main wouldn't show up in the main tags. i typically got a fair amount of notes, anywhere between 50 to 200 on each post, but i only ended up with maybe 4 or 5 followers on that blog (excluding mutuals i had advised to follow that blog as a backup in case my main went down forever [which it didn't thank fuck]).
honestly?? i assume the lack of following is because a lot of people in this fandom are very wary. qsmpblr likes to hail itself as better than twitter (and it is in some respects for sure, i'm not denying that), but it feels like everyone in this fandom has some kind of Opinion on Something at all times. there's always something to complain about or criticize about anything, whether it be the admins, an event, another cc's character, a cc themself, etc etc. if you follow a person you will be subjected to all of their opinions on every single issue that pops up, even if it's just a dismissal of whatever current discourse is making its way through the tag (and i'm guilty of this myself sometimes, i'm no angel here). there is not a single day that goes by without something negative crossing my dash regarding something that's going on with the smp. doesn't matter what it is, someone will have something to say about some kind of issue no matter what, and that shit gets tiring. sometimes it's better not to follow people lest you find yourself bombarded with opinions. that way you can still scroll your dash without worrying about seeing untagged discourse and infighting and criticism.
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neosimi · 1 year
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I posted 594 times in 2022
That's 19 more posts than 2021!
343 posts created (58%)
251 posts reblogged (42%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@isabella-goth
@neosimi
@microscotch
@andrevasims
@kestrelteens
I tagged 583 of my posts in 2022
Only 2% of my posts had no tags
#ts2 - 198 posts
#ts2 screenshots - 183 posts
#rb - 177 posts
#ts2 gameplay - 169 posts
#desiderata valley - 169 posts
#mail - 88 posts
#q - 73 posts
#anon - 54 posts
#wcif - 43 posts
#ts2 download - 34 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#i realize i hate doing milestones bc i dont feel like anything is *milestone worthy* so i just don't mention it at all but thank u for 1k!!!
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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🧬 atomiclight’s retro posters +  random stickers 🧬
here’s something that has been stuck in my wip folder since the end of last year. not sure why it took me this long to post, but alas! here are a whopping 110 recolors across two meshes by the wonderful atomiclight. in hindsight i probably should’ve combined them into one but eh, i wasn’t about to redo 50 recolors lol. you can find the originals for ts4 here and here. :] 
files are compressed. swatches included in the zip. 
download: [sfs] | [box] ♡
credits: @atomiclight. 
707 notes - Posted June 9, 2022
#4
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stopping by to share some bedding with you all this weekend. ( *ˊᵕˋ)
i picked out 10 recolors from luridsims’ wishful dreaming bed found here. i knew i had to have them in my game! special thanks to curiousb and their complete bedding creation kit, it made things easy peasy. :]
files are compressed. no reshade under the cut.
download: [sfs] | [box] ♡
credits: luridsims, curiousb.
See the full post
900 notes - Posted February 6, 2022
#3
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✨4t2 wall art /photoboard rc’s by aoifae + iconic posters by plutosims✨
happy sunday! here’s some decor for your sims. (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
included are some recolors by aoifae, with a few new meshes by kkb. i looked around but couldn’t find these exact items, but if they are already converted please let me know! it’s worth noting my versions have been slightly scaled up. the scroll art i went ahead and added recolors to moocha-muses‘ botancial scroll, be sure to grab the MESH here. as a bonus, i added pluto-sims’ iconic posters onto the civic idol poster. :]
files are compressed. swatches in the zip.
download: [sfs] | [box] ♡
credits: @aoifae, @sims-kkb, @pluto-sims, @moocha-muses.
935 notes - Posted June 26, 2022
#2
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See the full post
1,016 notes - Posted April 10, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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🎼 4t2 simmify music nook by myshunosun 🎸
happy friday! here is a wonderful set by @myshunosun, perfect for any sim but especially those with an affinity for music. 
i learned a lot converting this set, from tackling my demons (slots), to adjusting the footprint, to finally adding shadows, to figuring out how to make the guitar amp invisible. speaking of the guitar, it’s cloned from crispsandkerosene’s acoustic guitar, which requires argon’s hack. the storage unit is cloned from thimblesims’ dawn living storage unit c. it has 8 slots, so i just duplicated the top middle slot to make up for it. i found if you want to add two stack of LPs on the bottom of the storage unit like shown above, its best to turn them around. it won’t flicker when moving the camera that way for some reason. that should be it, enjoy! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა
files are compressed. polycount under the cut.
UPDATE 9/14/22: fixed meshes so you don’t have to find the sweet spot lmao. also fixed the mesh texture on the plant to be black (bc i had pink twice and barely found out myself). also resized the record player by like 1cm shh.
UPDATE 9/16/22: Fixed the storage unit from the first fix, oops!
download: [sfs] | [box] ♡
credits: myshunosun, crispsandkerosene, argon, thimblesims and their shadows tutorial, pforestsims’ slot tutorial, rugrat0ne’s footprint tutorial.
POLYCOUNT :
storage unit - 212 [surfaces/misc. $600]
potted plant - 554  [deco/plants $200]
stack of LPs - 150  [deco/sculpture $120]
guitar - 1331 [hobbies/creative $1000]
speaker - 776 [electronics/audio $200]
record player - 1369 [electronics/audio $99] meant to be $400 oops.
1,347 notes - Posted July 22, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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aplaceinme · 4 months
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...
I've come to the realisation that what happened in my previous fandom has affected me deeply and it plays a huge part on how I interact with fandom now.
I've always been introverted and shy, and my social anxiety (and generalized anxiety and depression) have made things worse. But in my previous fandom, I tried real hard to talk to people and to put myself out there. I would reblog everything (with compliments in the tags), I would leave comments (in the posts and fics), I would read every single fic, I would send asks, I would make fic recs posts... I also joined discord servers, participated in fandom events... I put in a lot of effort because I wanted to belong somewhere, because I wanted friends, I wanted community. And I thought it had paid off... Some people started to followed me back, started to talk to me, someone offered to be a beta reader for my fics, some people sent me asks, tagged me in games, talked to me in private messages (on tumblr or discord), etc. I thought I had made friends but then some of that people that seemed kind and nice, turned out to be mean girls. And they started to pushed me aside, and bullying me. They made me feel like shit, and like I had no place in the fandom (while all the rest of the people continued to think that they were great). I ended up leaving the fandom, and now I can't even enjoy the ship that made me start writing fics in the first place.
My insecurities and my low self-esteem got way worst because all of that.
And now, there are moments when I think:'I should try again in this new fandom (r w r b or other fandoms). I should reblog absolutely everything so that people will notice me, I should read every single fic and leave comments and compliment everyone (even if that makes me not want to write anymore bc of insecurities), etc. Because I want friends, because I do want to talk about fic ideas and gush about the ship. But the problem is that I can't... I don't trust people in fandom anymore. And to put all my effort on trying to make friends with the risk of the same thing happening again is just not something that I think I can do. And I'm also tired of always being the one that has to try... Always be the one that has to reach out ...
So, I guess I just have to continue as I am.. isolated from fandom and feeling lonely. Feeling like I'm not and will never be enough. Because I'm not enough.
I know that this comes off as whiny, and I know this is my fault anyway but... oh, well, just feeling some way I guess.
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