#made sure Feyre had. literally. no human life she COULD return to

[ae-neon]

What Should Nesta Have Done? (Cabin Years Ramble)

okay this came about as a response to THIS post (I'm linking because I don't want to invalidate the take, this is just my opinion which is informed by my own bias) @mariekecath I hope you don't mind, I just like to ramble

In response to OP's excerpts, I said

Literally in the last two excerpts 1) Nesta is making sure Feyre doesn't get robbed, which she explains and 2) goes out to chop wood AGAIN, without being asked to

You know who did nothing and was asked nothing by Feyre? Elain. Feyre also only ever favoured Elain in that way and then never really held her accountable or even pressed the issue of Rhys forgiving Elain but not Nesta because "NeStA iS iLLyRiAn"

Feyre and Nesta are two sides of the same coin, something Feyre acknowledges in the first few chapters. Feyre does good but her thoughts can be brutal and selfish - she wishes her family would die, she says it's okay her mother died because they have one less mouth to feed, she thinks Andras might be a Fae and kills him thinking good riddance.

And that's fine that's just who she is in these harsh circumstances, that's how she deals with everything

Nesta just says all of it out loud. The acotar slut shaming comment was in defense of her relationship with Tomas, who she loved at that point. She goes to chop wood twice, even if she complains about doing it. She stands up to the CoTB because of what the Fae did to the humans. Nesta doesn't trust the mercenaries but resists and HL's glamour + takes a two day journey to the wall to try bring Feyre back. She also tries to make up when Feyre returns.

[I hope this doesn't come off as mean or harsh, I'm just trying to fit as much as I can in this limited word count.]

Feyre dislikes her whole family except maybe Elain but even then it's not like she's overly fond of her. That's just how they were. But they were family and they loved each other.

Until sjm overplayed the cruel step sisters trope to try make Feyre's trauma backstory comparable to the Fae when she abandoned that Feyre's humanity was what made her special.

@wolfnesta had a great response to the initial post: HERE

I see a lot of "I acknowledge what Nesta did" vs "Nesta bears no responsibility" stuff these days and I get how Nesta fans can find themselves on either side.

But I think it's important to acknowledge an important factor in this : sjm is a bad author.

This might be an uncomfortable statement for some of you because after all; SJM wrote Nesta, many fans are readers of all three of her series and she obviously has all of us so wrapped up in these worlds, right?

Well, no. She is a bad author. She is inconsistent, lazy with her world building and character development, been called out for plagiarism, racism, sexism, portraying toxic behaviour as good and romanticizing abusive tendencies.

Personally, I wouldn't care about these bad elements if all the books were adult fantasies - and yes i know she was forced to publish under YA initially, but she should have taken that into account and changed the material to reflect that. That's her responsibility as an adult writing for teens.

ANYWAYS ALL THAT TO FINALLY GET TO THE POINT OF THIS POST (SORRY)

If SJM had been a better author, her initial book (or at least her retconning) would have included acknowledging Elain and Nesta as fully fleshed out characters and reflecting that they did take part in life in the Cabin from cooking to cleaning.

If there can be a second daemati and whole scenes revisited and blatantly contradicted for Rhysand's sake - then Nesta could have had a small gig as a governess at the Beddor house, Elain could have been Papa A's primary caretaker and planted herbs and veg alongside her flowers.

But SJM is a bad author. She could have humanised the characters who are supposed to be special specifically for their humanity by : let Feyre acknowledge her own sometimes selfish pov, give Nesta the credit she deserves for doing her part even if she complained about doing it, let Elain be an active person outside of (BOTH) her sisters coddling her.

Instead, Feyre must be fully fae-ized, complete with doubling down on the no nuance trauma porn backstory where she starts hunting at 14 years old? no I mean 11 years old? Well actually she was only 8 when her dying mother passed sole responsibilty of the family and Feyre immediately became the only human in a room full of NPCs.

[AGAIN JUST A REMINDER its Feyre who doesn't even ask Elain to do anything but expects it of Nesta and their disabled father. Feyre also only protects and coddles Elain. Feyre and Nesta are two sides of the same coin]

So in answer to the title; Nothing.

You either accept what Sarah Says and acknowledge Nesta and Elain were the evil step sister archetypes and credit them for their development - that alone makes Feyre the asshole for not painting Nesta but painting Elain.

OR you break the Sarah Says rule and think of them as 3D characters and acknowledge Feyre's bias towards her own struggle neglects to take into account her sister's contributions (- which again makes Feyre the asshole for not painting Nesta but painting Elain)

#acotar #sjm is a bad author #nesta archeron #elain archeron #anti feyre #just in case #but its not #anti sjm #anti acomaf #its the worst book #sjm critical #nesta deserves better #pro nesta

[flowerflamestars]

Your Heart snippet

Patently, Elain did not know how to stab a man. She and Nesta had been taught a lot of useless shit that largely boiled down to screaming and running- but the knife in her hand was forged in blood, and knew were to find it.   Elain, who had drowned too-   Elain, who was not the least of the Archerons in any way, who winnowed like moonlight, slow bright and impossible, eerie pale in shadow, to slide Truthteller right beneath Azriel’s chin.   The moment was endless. The moment was less than a heartbeat, not quite right to behold.   “I’m not going to hurt you,” Azriel said, even as blood, black in the dark, ran gleaming down his neck.   “No?” Elain laughed, too teary to be cruel, “Then you shouldn’t have let Rhysand all but kill my sister. Done something, when they wanted my magic. Said a single thing you actually believe when they came for Nesta.” It seemed like it took a very, very long time to reach them- it was only four steps, ringing on stone- it was a small eternity, dense with power. Nesta knew well the value of blood. The dangerous and uncontrollable binding of what was given freely- Azriel, half captive by a hungry magic knife and a hell the gentlest Archeron could make.   She touched the back of Elain’s free hand, prepared not at all the for the way the world rippled when Elain seized it.   “I’m going home,” Elain said. “Don’t- Az, this is not our home.”  Despite the way it made Truthteller bite deeper, Azriel nodded. Inclined his head more than a little, inviting the pain- giving respect. “It could have been.”   Elain pulled the knife from his neck and kicked him, hard as she could, in the shin. “Rhys burnt down our fucking house,” She yelled. “Where is the fortune of my family, Azriel? Where is the money we made, trading Spring emeralds? Where is my dowry?” Like this was an old argument, and gods, maybe it was- Nesta watched Azriel nod again, miserably, more emote than she’d ever seen. “I”-   “Do not,” Elain practically shrieked, “Try to give me your money again, Az.”

#babes we are BACK FROM WAR #wherein the story goes #yes actually Az has both a real emotion connection to these women #and also? #is a trashman who needs THERAPY #not a fucking romance #(really not a romance. have we yet discussed that Your Heart Elain is a lesbian?) #Elain 'yes I got something from the Cauldron fucking watch me' Archeron #also where we posit the question.... #hey babes? #Rhys totally stole all the Archerons money yeah? #made sure Feyre had. literally. no human life she COULD return to #and Nesta's salary #and never gave them any war reparations and...hmmm.... #could keep a mystery city safe for thousands of years but not. a much smaller isolated human estate? #Elain is going to Autumn! #well #to Autumn and to spend an incredible amount of time with the cottage core triad #we call this chapter: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT AUDACITY HOURS #the Archeron's really shine in the Court of Nightmares when they're not doing stupid playacting #your heart as it was will be on fire #fix-it fic

[nikethestatue]

Elucien’s Bond

And what’s wrong with it?

*crack-ish theory*

This is a theory and an opinion, just based on observations and reading of the text. If you are a huge Elucien fan, you are probably not going to like this.

First things first--I think that the bond is real. I don’t think it’s a fake bond, because Elain literally felt it inside of her when tugged on it. Azriel can smell it. So the base for the bond is real. 

But there are some odd things going on with that bond:

Neither party seems to be struggling with its presence, beyond it being an inconvenience to their other budding romances.

We know that Elain was never into the bond, and her first words to Lucien, when he walked in on her back in HoW was ‘you were there. You betrayed us.” 2 years later, she is even less into the bond, because she’s been avoiding Lucien every time he’s been around, doesn’t use his gifts, ‘shrinks into herself’ in his presence, and of course, now we know that she is interested in Azriel. 

Lucien was definitely more affected by the bond, at least initially. He reacted strongly when Elain was thrown into the Cauldron, and once she was spit out, he gave her his cloak. Now, interestingly though, when Rhys and Mor winnowed them all away from Hybern, Lucien did not attempt to follow, but yelled at Tamlin telling him to ‘get her back!’ Feyre, while in Spring Court, observed that Lucien was not interested in any women as a ‘newly mated male’.

When they returned to Spring Court, Lucien’s first thoughts were about Elain. He wanted to see her, wanted to get to know her, wanted to be in her presence. That was pretty regular mate behavior.

And then came the famous, uncomfortable scene, where Lucien was trying to figure out what was ‘wrong’ with Elain, and they were sitting and not drinking tea, under the supervision of Nesta, Feyre, Amren (I do kind of feel bad for Lucien, not gonna lie), with Rhys and Cassian outside, and Cassian peacocking in front of children Nesta, and her craning her head like crazy. But I digress...

Of course, at that time, none of us were aware of Lucien’s paternity. He is Helion Spell-Cleaver’s son. 

And then, he tugs on the bond. And Elain reacts. 

And after that, things begin to change and unravel for the two of them. 

While before that tug, Elain seemed to have been at least tolerating the thought of him around her, after the tug, things turned a different direction--for her, but also for him.

He volunteered to go find Vassa, soon after, leaving his mate behind. It’s unusual behavior, for a mated male to willingly leave his mate, but let’s say he felt unwelcome, useless, and wanted to give Elain some space. That’s what he told Rhys and Feyre.

Now, let’s go back to what Feyre said--that he wasn’t interested in other females when the bond was new. Fast forward a VERY short period of time, literally a few months, and he is living with Vassa and Jurian. Not only that, he is clearly interested in Vassa, and not just as a friend.

Elain, in turn, was still pining for Graysen, and told him that the bond doesn’t matter and that it ‘means nothing’. Fast forward a few months as well, and by Solstice, she is placing special orders for headache powder for Azriel. 

While we know that the bond is not as strong for females, especially not ‘accepted’ bond, Elain’s is remarkably weak. Let’s take Feyre and Nesta--both were willing to sacrifice themselves for their mates, BEFORE having accepted the bonds. Both went feral and wild when Rhys and Cassian were hurt. Elain, in contrast, saw Lucien go, without any protection into the Human Lands and it seems that she’d never even asked after him, and whether he was alive. He might not have been in any direct danger, but it seems like her bond did not indicate anything to her. Now, we know that SHE was in danger, when Hybern stole her, but Lucien never questioned it, and it seemed that he remained unaware that she was kidnapped.

Furthermore, while we know that Rhys felt Feyre and Tamlin through the bond, and suffered for it, and Cassian was certainly aware, and it’s hinted that he felt Nesta and her paramours as well though the bond, neither Elain, not Lucien seem to notice that the other party is interested in someone other than them. We don’t know what’s going on with Lucien and Vassa, so I don’t want to speculate about a sexual relationship. Obviously by 2nd Solstice we know that Elain and Azriel are interested in each other sexually, but of course they haven’t acted on it.

Yet, while Azriel is nauseated and very greatly affected by the Elucien bond, can smell it and is so traumatized that he can barely stand being in the same room with them--it’s so apparent that even Nesta notices it--Lucien, seemingly feels or senses nothing. The only time he ever reacted to Azriel was in the very, very beginning, when Azriel brought Elain into the townhouse and took her to the garden. ‘Azriel is not the ravishing type,” Lucien was told. 

So, what’s the point of all this?

I wonder if when Lucien pulled on the bond, he unwittingly began to unravel it. Bonds can’t be broken, at least that’s what Amren said, but can they be weakened? It IS a bond, a tie of sorts. Often described as a thread or a string, and that’s what Elain felt--a sting pulled on her rib. It’s a string or a cord that wrapes around couples during consummation.

What if his power--that of a spell-cleaver, inherited from his father--gave him the ability to do just that? Untie the bond? 

And that instead of the rejection, breaking, and all kinds of dramatic things, it will be a gentle un-making of the bond for both of them. To be sure, the thread may remain forever. But perhaps, this is why Elain does not feel compelled to act on it, and doesn’t really care about it at all. Maybe, she stopped feeling it? And so did he? The presence is still there, hence the smell that only apparently Azriel can scent (that’s another post though). But they don’t feel the push and pull of the mating desire, and therefore, neither one wants each other sexually? We know that the bond is primarily sexual in nature, and drives people to extremes and offers endless desire. The Elucien bond doesn’t do any of it, even for Lucien. Sure, he is a well-mannered, polite, cultured male, so he is not going to be ravishing or pressing Elain against the walls, but someone, somewhere, would’ve observed so sexual interest from him towards her. We know that the last time he came to the NC, he didn’t even meet with Elain. Why is his bond not raging inside of him at the close proximity to her?

Finally, Helion. What if Helion, and we assume that LoA is his mate, was able to untie their bond, so it didn’t torment them, when she had made the decision to remain with Beron. Yes, they still acted on it, and the fruit of that acting is Lucien, but perhaps, Helion, not wanting to bring this constant push of the bond on LoA, especially in her situation, was able to loosen it? It also allowed him to be rather amorous as well in his life. 

Now, this is a total speculation (though there was a tiny hint at this in the book). We know that Tamlin did everything to try to nullify the bond between Feyre and Rhys. And he sent Lucien to Helion and other places, to find a method to do just that. Now, if the bonds are so permanent, why would Tamlin--who IS a High Lord after all, and isn’t without knowledge--assume that it could be broken? By someone else? He began, of all people, with Helion. Helion the Spell-Cleaver. He assumed that of all people, it was Helion who might have possessed that power and ability. Helion declined. So Tamlin went to Hybern. But what if Helion does know? And what if Helion maybe told something to Lucien, in passing? And Lucien, maybe even unwittingly, acted on the suggestion?

And what if this weakened bond allowed for another bond to sneak in?

But that’s another post.

#e/lucien #e*lucien #azriel #elain archeron #mate bond #mate behavior #helion #helion and loa #acosf theory #acosf spoilers #acosf #acotar #lucien vanserra #vassien #lucien and vassa #elriel

[wisteriabookss]

My ACOSF Review (2/5 Stars)

Please respect my opinions. Not everything I say will be praiseful or nice. While I liked a lot of this book, a lot of it frustrated and bothered me. 

This review contains spoilers. Read at your own risk. 

This review will be more of an overall impression, and I will get more in depth about certain characters in future posts. 

I eventually got into the plot of the book, but I don’t think it was as great or creative as it could’ve been. I feel like SJM recycled ideas she’s already used to create the storyline. A quest to find a magic object that can stop a war and save the world? That sentence applies to both ACOWAR and ACOSF. It’s even more disappointing when you know there were other routes the plot could’ve taken but were eventually scratched. It was the perfect set up for an Illyrian mountain setting, it was written in canon, and, unsurprisingly, SJM retconned and changed it. 

The Valkyrie plot was cool, if a bit forced and out of place. Nesta barely starts training, and all of a sudden she wants to recreate a powerful band of female warriors that we’ve never heard of in the context of this world? Honestly, it feels like SJM watched Thor: Ragnarok, and was like, “Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do.” I thought Helions winged horses would come into play with that, but I guess we’ll have to see.

I thought the Blood Rite plot was gone, but we got it in the end, even though it was rushed. The most beautiful parts of the book happened during the Rite, so I’m glad we got to see those.

The ending of Briallyn was so swift I literally had to go back a page to make sure I read it right. Literally one page, and she’s killed. I expected more. I can’t say I'm surprised by how rushed her death was when I knew the Feysand trouble was approaching, and the number of pages left was getting smaller. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that SJM would save Rhys, Feyre, and their baby. Out of the entire ensemble in Kingdom of Ash, she only had the heart to kill Gavriel, who wasn’t too much of a main character. There was no way in hell she would do that to Feysand. 

I’m sorry, but I do not like the name Nyx. Imagine calling someone Nyx? Did she originally have it as Nick, but just needed to put an X? My eyes were rolling so hard when I read it. Just put an ‘O’ in front of it and end our misery, though I still would’ve rolled my eyes at that name too. The name just reminds me of all the blogger moms who put X’s in their child’s names for dramatic effect that ends up looking like they can’t spell.

I also didn’t appreciate the out of touch colloquialisms in this book either. Prythian doesn’t have a name for anxiety, depression, or PTSD, but they know what lactic acid means?

The amount of sex in this book was something we had been warned to expect, and I think due to the fastness of me reading this book (finished in two sittings), it made it feel like the sex was happening every other page, which it basically was. I’m not going to be mad though because a) it was well written, b) I didn’t feel like it harmed the plot too much, and c) this is the only Nessian smut we’re going to see in canon. But that threesome line with Az. . . y'all know which one I’m talking about. . . the one with the details about certain positions. . .  chile um anyways let’s move on. 

I called it months ago that Emerie would either be Mor or Azriel’s love interest, and looks like it’s going to be Mor. SJM’s writing is fairly predictable, especially when it comes to romantic ships, and she couldn’t have been more obvious about the two of them. I will write about Gwyn and Azriel in Azriel’s chapter review (cause that monstrosity needs a post of its own).

Now about Nesta’s healing arc. Some of it was satisfying and others were saddening. I’m happy that Nesta was able to find purpose in her life, and not believe herself to be worthless or pathetic, but strong and powerful. I’m happy she found Gwynn and Emerie; I love their friendship. I love how they stuck by each other no matter what, and saw the good and potential in one another.

However, even by the end of the book, Nesta still thinks herself as undeserving. Of Cassian, of love. She knows she has it, and she's so grateful for it, but she still believes she is undeserving of it, that Cassian is just so much better than her. A part of learning to love and live with yourself is knowing what you deserve, so why SJM took that from her character, I don’t know. I was continuously disappointed when said she was undeserving of anything, even after she had learned and grown from her mistakes. 

Maybe SJM thinks the belief of being undeserving of one's partner is romantic. I’m telling you now, it’s not. All that does is give unnecessary power to a person you believe you are undeserving of, and this leads to unequal power dynamics in a relationship. Rhys was the exact same with Feyre, so I’m guessing it's a theme.

Speaking of romantic themes, the repetition of the “your mine-im yours” line in this book was nauseating. Your going to make Nesta say the exact same thing her sister said when they had sex? Is there nothing else SJM could’ve come up with? It’s just so weird. And I swear to god if I see Elain do the same thing I’m gonna vomit. 

Nesta apologized to Cassian about what she said to him on Solstice in ACOFAS as if he never called her unlovable. As if he never said he didn’t understand why her sisters love her. He never apologized for that. There was so much apologizing from Nesta to Cassian about her calling him a brute, as if Cassian didn’t say he was “shackled” to her after she clearly explained how she feared she would lose her humanity if she accepted the word mate. Not if she accepted him, but the word. 

For Cassian to routinely tell Nesta to, “shut her fucking mouth,” when she used some attitude against Rhys was comical. Rhys has been bad mouthing and disrespecting Nesta this whole time, and when she shows some warranted attitude in return (not even an insult), Cassian rips into her. It doesn’t matter what he did for you, babe. Not everyone has the same experience with Rhys, so Cassian getting angry when Nesta showing anger at the way she was being treated was wrong. Her experience with him does not become invalidated just because Cassian has a good relationship with him.

There wasn’t a character arc for Cassian, which was one of the most disappointing parts of the book. He thinks of himself as inferior and undeserving as well, and by the end of the book it’s not even clear if that stance has changed. We saw him grow into the courtier persona in the meeting with Eris when Tamlin shows up, but we never see it again. I know there were instances in which he stood up for Nesta, but he also very quicky after that became silent in other moments when they were insulting her. The next book isn’t in his pov, but I’m hoping we see him become more confident in himself and make a firmer stance to protect Nesta (although I doubt he’ll need to seeing as how Rhys kisses the ground she walks on now).

Now onto Nesta’s apologies to the IC. I think Nesta apologizing to Feyre was expected, and I’m glad the sisters had that moment. I am, however, upset that there was never a moment where all the sisters sat down, and hashed it out. Talked about what they’d been through, how it affected them, and how it affected their feelings toward each other. After everything that happened between Nesta and Elain, all that hurt, you’re telling me all it took was Nesta to make Elain laugh by saying “fuck you,” and we’re good? It’s lazy writing. 

Elain telling Nesta that she only cared about how her trauma affected her did not sit right with me. Nesta sat by Elain’s side for weeks when she was in the thick of her struggles, and refused to leave her alone for fear that her struggles would eat her up alive. She constantly looked for anything that could help her sister, and never left her unprotected. Nesta and Elain didn’t communicate after the war, for reasons that we now know was because of Nesta’s guilt for Elain being kidnapped. It is not abnormal when a family member has been traumatized by things that have happened to another family member. That’s expected. Ask any family who has lost a child or had a relative go through something horrible.

Elain is acting as if Nesta has only ever been concerned with herself when she’s spent her entire life concerned with Elain. I made a post long ago about how the IC only wanted Nesta to heal for their sake rather than her sake, and there’s so much more evidence for that than for Elain. Elain’s healing process was able to be understood and encouraged by the IC, whereas they had no idea what to do with Nesta. So for Elain to come at Nesta for not caring about her trauma, a second after Nesta was trying to protect her from further trauma by telling her she didn't want her seering for the Trove, was unwarranted.

Speaking about Elain looking for the Trove, what happened there? Elain had this whole speech where she said she wanted to do something and no one could stop her and then we just. . . don’t hear anything about it again? SJM had a perfect opportunity to do something powerful with Elain there, and completely threw it away. 

Nesta’s apology to Amren was extreme, dramatic, and honestly, unnecessary. Amren called Nesta a “pathetic waste of life,” constantly demeaned and degraded her anytime her name was mentioned, and said she did all this because Nesta used her as a shield against her problems and the IC. Seriously? Nesta using Amren as a shield does not warrant that kind of verbal abuse. It doesn't make her a pathetic waste of life. Amren’s been alive for how long? And reacts like that to an obvious side effect of extreme trauma? No ma'am. Nesta getting on her damn knees was too much, and obviously just another moment, like a lot of moments, that SJM felt the need to make dramatic. And then having the audacity to let Amren say to Nesta that, “the struggle with the darkness is worth it,” when she was one of those people who contributed to that darkness is disgusting.

I didn’t like Rhys at all in this book. Even after he saw inside Nesta’s mind about her experience in the cauldron, he was still wary and rude with her. Literally anytime Nesta showed that she was changing, Rhys didn’t change anything about his attitude or behavior towards her. A moment of regret, and then he’s back to being arrogant ass Rhys. Him not telling Feyre about the baby was also extremely stupid. It’s her body, her life, her baby’s life, his life, and she had a right to know what was happening. Not telling her because you didn’t want her to be “upset,” is a dumb excuse. I thought you always promised to let her make her own decisions, Rhys? What happened to that promise? The one that was a hell of a lot better than the stupid bargain ya’ll made? Though Nesta told her out of anger, good on her for telling her sister. Should’ve happened way sooner. His apology to Nesta was the only one that warranted the dramatics. That is what you get on your knees for.

That whole scene about him becoming High King had me throwing the book. Amren telling Rhys that the swords were some sort of mother-mary-cauldron-blessed-hallelujah sign that he was supposed to be High King had me fuming. It’s Nesta’s power. It’s Nesta’s sword. That should have never been a discussion. Not everything is for Rhys. These people are so blinded by their love for him they can’t even see how arrogant he is. To write Nesta giving back Ataraxia made me so angry after we just had a whole moment where we find out it means inner peace. I just hope that all of this is not foreshadowing Rhys becoming High King. I know you love him Sarah, but please don’t.

All in all, this book wasn’t too bad. There were some great moments and some bad moments. I think SJM’s biggest issue in her writing is that she doesn’t outline, or at least doesn't seem to outline, not thoroughly. I feel like she uses plot devices willy nilly whenever it’s the easiest solution. There was never a moment where I said, “that was clever!” A lot of it was cool, but not clever. Not creative. She also has a tendency to write very dramatically, in staccato type sentences where everything is made into a big moment, which bugs me a lot. 

I love Nesta. She’s still my fav, and will probably always be my fav. This book doesn’t change that, and as you can tell in my review, most of the issues I had weren’t with her behavior, but with the behavior of other characters. I still love Cassian, even though he made me want to rip my hair out sometimes.

Will I read the next books? Probably. I can’t seem to stay away from these characters or these books, so kudos to SJM for writing them. I know a majority of people have given this book 4 or 5 stars, but I can’t bring myself to give it more than 2/5.

#nesta #cassian #nessian #acosf #a court of silver flames #sjm #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #cassian x nesta #feysand #feyre #feyre archeron #rhysand #elain #elain archeron #amren #sarah j maas #nesta stan #nestastan

[acourtofsadnessanddespair]

all the proof i could muster up that nesta and cassian are mates

 With just little over a month until A Court of Silver Flames comes out, I decided to set the fact straight that Nesta and Cassian are mates and we simply cannot ignore the evidence anymore. 

1. First Meeting

There’s actually not that much evidence here, but there is a lot of banter between the two and throughout the dinner, Cassian constantly is grinning and trying to rile Nesta up. One line states: “Cassian was sizing up Nesta, a gleam in his eyes that I could only interpret as a warrior finding himself faced with a new, interesting opponent.” He then continues staring at her pretty much through the entire meal, only taking his eyes off her to nod agreement. They also “have it out” the next morning. Of course this is in no way an indication that they our mates, however I would like to remind you that a certain other mated couple started off with the slight enemies-to-lovers scenario. 

2. The Bonus Scene

Chile... there’s a lot to unpack here. Cassian describes Nesta’s face as unnervingly perfect, and talks about her build and, uh, the certain parts that he “doesn’t look at. Much.” When he leans close to her, her scent “hits him in the gut so hard he could barely focus.” Which is a little suspicious and mate-y to me (as mate-y as a human and Illyrian can be I suppose, however Rhys knew he was mates with Feyre when she was human, and Feyre becoming Fae heightened it, which we will go back to later). When Cassian finds out what Tomas tried to do Nesta (or senses the fear), he immediately wants to kill him, without knowing pretty much anything, except that someone had hurt Nesta. His Nesta. He also says, “It’d make me hunt them down and shatter every bone in their body.” Then he tries to cover it up, saying he’d do it for anybody (which he would, but still). Nesta admits that she feels things, sometimes more than anyone else and Cassian had seen those things and had seen her, “...he’d looked at her- not at the face and human body that men marked, but her- and had seen it all.” She then says that this made her want to hurt him, so he wouldn’t tell everyone. When Nesta tips up her neck, every instinct in Cassian’s body came “roaring to the surface, so violent he had to choke them with a brutal grip...” Then he once again says something about her scent and what it does to him; “Cassian breathed in the smell of her into his lungs...as it latched onto some intrinsic part of him and sank its talons deep.” And that just sounds so mate-y to mean, like her scent latched onto him??? He then brings the topic around to Mor who he had slept with prior and had some degree of romantic feelings for, and says that even though she did not care about the lovers her had, he did not want to tell her about Nesta. And when he returns to Velaris, he refuses to go back alone again. 

3. The Promise

After the queen’s refuse to give Feyre the book, Nesta stands up to them and begs the queens to help. Cassian then makes a promise to Nesta; “...I will stand on that battlefield again, Nesta Archeron, to protect this house- your people. I can think of no better way to end my existence than to defend those who need it.” He then wipes away her tears and Nesta lets him do it. This promise remains important in a Court of Wings and Ruin, as Cassian is regretful and takes part blame for her becoming Fae in Hybern, despite him not being able to stop it as his wings were shredded. “I made her a promise. And when it mattered I didn’t keep it.”

4. Hybern

As Nesta is being put into the Cauldron, Cassian begins moving on the ground, despite his bloody, shredded wings. He stirs again when she begins screaming and tries to move his hands towards her. “At Nesta’s shouts, her raging, his eyes fluttered open, glazed and unseeing, an answer to some call in his blood, a promise he’d made her.” I mean, come on... That literally sounds like there mates I-... Not to mention, Cassian tries reaching for her again when she is sobbing for Elain. 

5. The House of Wind

Even before entering where Nesta was sitting, Feyre noticed that Cassian was tense. When Feyre notices how devastatingly beautiful Nesta, she wonders if Cassian also feels the same as he stiffens beside her. We then also see more of that banter from a Court of Mist and Fury (mainly from Cassian, but still). Cassian then says that he goes up to the House of Wind often because it is good exercise for his wings (more like a good excuse to see Nesta). He also says that he is going to kill the King of Hybern (just as he said he would kill Tomas). When he is flying Feyre to the House of Wind, she asks why he bothers and he says “Because I can’t stay away.” (Which gives me MATE vibes)  And as Nesta arrives in her dress, Feyre narrates that Cassian looks as though he had been punched in the gut. 

6. I don’t know what to call this segment but still... MATES

After Nesta is flown to the town house by Rhys she is extremely mad and only Cassian, it seems, is game enough to calm her down and get the fire out of her eyes. When Amren is telling her story, Cassian moves himself closer to Nesta and then signals her to stand behind him, willing to protect her if something goes wrong. After it is realized that there is no threat, Nesta moves from behind Cassian, but not away, to his side. After Hybern attacks the library, Rhys lets Feyre into his mind to see what Cassian had shown him, from his point of view. In the memory, when Nesta comes stumbling out and sees Cassian. “...her fear a tang that whetted his rage into something so sharp he could barely think, barely breath-” And this just feels mate-y and reminds me of how Rhys when Tamlin destroyed the study, or even after the attack when he was still enraged. He also calls her body slim and beautiful as she grips his arms. 

7. Battle of Adriata

When the others return from the Summer Court, Nesta demands to know where Cassian is and actually says his name, which was Feyre’s first time hearing it from her. She was also pacing as she waited for them to return. However, when Amren offers mild support, she simply says “I don’t care.” 

8. The High Lord Meeting 

When Nesta appears down the stairs, Cassian ignores her for the most part. And when she announces she is going with them, she makes sure to ignore his approving gaze. Nesta and Cassian then are set to winnow out together and there is a bit of banter and then Nesta says “You didn’t come to-” and cuts herself off (And I’d just like to know what he didn’t go to, THAT IS ALL I WANT IN LIFE PLEASE SARAH). Cassian then interlaces their fingers and their gazes do not leave each other’s faces and then he says, “The next time, Emissary, I’ll come say hello.” (Swoon) Nesta stands up for Cassian after Beron insults him at the meeting, and Cassian just looks at her “like he’d never seen her before.” When Nesta feels something amiss and calls for Feyre, Cassian also comes in assessing if she is okay and looking at every inch of her. Feyre also asks Rhys if the two are mates and he said he didn’t know and that the bond would have to snap into place (SUSPICIOUS)  And when Nesta begins vomiting was the first one there holding her back and monitoring her. 

9. Not really any proof

...But when he tells Nesta she’d start a riot if she wore pants and trains her, I- yes.

10. The War

While Nesta is working around the camp she listens intently to any talk of Cassian and when Cassian returns to the camp with a sprained wrist, Nesta somehow notices immediately without anyone else noticing. She ties it up and they hold hands, then Mor interrupts and Cassian drops her hand, Nesta just looked at her hand and then disappeared to her tent. As the battle is happening, Nesta only concentrates on Cassian and is terrified when he is about to be hurt, and when Feyre leaves she barely takes her attention of him. Nesta is found standing outside of the tent Cassian is staying in after he is injured, but then after a confrontation with Mor. As Nesta is helping find the Cauldron, Cassian stands with her, his hand on her back and comforts her and reminds her that nothing can hurt her there. During the final battle, Nesta was still monitoring where Cassian was, and when she saw where the Cauldron’s power was gonna be used, she only roared for Cassian and didn’t alarm the several others in its path. He then decides to get off the battlefield and go with her to kill the king.

11. THAT SCENE

Cassian is beaten severely by the king and when Nesta sees what he has done, she becomes a predator. “I am going to kill you.” Which is similar and in parallel to when Cassian wanted to kill who had hurt her. And after she has used her power, she ignores Cassian’s pleas to run and instead tries to keep killing the king. And when she goes down, Cassian tries to reach for her like he did all those months ago in Hybern. And when he tells her to go she says she can’t. Cassian grabs her face and tries saying goodbye; “I have no regrets in my life, but this. That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta.” And she doesn’t stop him as he kisses her (KISSES HER OMFG). “I will find you again in the next world - the next life. And we will have that time. I promise.” She doesn’t leave she just covers his body with her own. Willing to die with her lover or her mate? Because she cannot live without him?

Post War

Nesta does not visit Cassian on his sick bed and their relationship once again becomes tight and tense. Cassian tries not to think about her and Nesta becomes closed off. On Solstice, he tries giving her a present which had taken him months to find and she declines (that made me so mad), but he still follows her home. In the sneak peak, he admits that even though she is too thin he finds her “mouthwatering” and he doesn’t care about the males she sleeps with. The males, however, are sometimes afraid to sleep with Nesta because of Cassian, because of what happened in the war (or maybe they’re afraid because they’re mates, just saying).

In conclusion, 

Nesta and Cassian are mates. Sarah, you ain’t slick, we know. And if they do not confess their love in the next book I will cry. Actually a lot of this isn’t evidence just rehashing but... meh.

#a court of silver flames #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #nesta #cassian #nassian #a court of frost and starlight #actoar

[hermioneblack]

A Court of Hope and Moons- Chapter One

(Chapter One- hopefully I can keep the chapters coming almost every other day while I am unemployed. If you want to be alerted when I update this please let me know :D ) @alicethelonerabbit

One Year after the War

Feyre stood at the door of the nursery, her baby girl was sleeping quietly. Elain had passed out next to the crib after spending 2 hours trying to coax the tiny baby to sleep with a shadow puppet made by real shadows that followed the Made seer around at all times.

Feyre smiled at the sight of her sister and daughter. She turned slowly away into the living room of her townhouse. She picked up bits and pieces from the couch and floor, cleaning up absentmindedly. She spent a lot of time lately doing things without noticing it, as if half her mind like half her heart was gone.

When she had seen Rhys fall all she wanted to do was fade away, leave the living behind and run away into the abyss with him. But he wouldn’t let her, the part of him that stayed with her, the mating bond was still there even though he wasn’t.

Oh Feyre Darling he purred down the mating bond everytime she thought about fading, every time raising her little girl seemed to much. Everytime she grew jealous of her sister and her mating bond with Cassian or her anger when Elain threw away her mating bond with Lucian to try things with Azriel.

She is our little ray of Hope isn’t she? He said the day she was born. After 12 hours of labour and cursing everyone who tried to help, their daughter had been born, 8 pounds of screaming crying baby with tiny delicate wings that wrapped around her small pink body. Already at only a few months old she was the spitting image of her father, dark hair and her skin tanner than Feyre would ever hope to be.

“Hello Hope, we love you so much.” she had said holding her tiny baby in her arms. She could feel Rhys with her, smiling at his two girls.

Hope had kept her alive, kept her running the Night Court. In an ideal world she would have waited, waited till her and Rhys had had a life together before children, but if Feyre had learnt anything in her short and bumpy life it was that nothing was ideal.

With the living room tidy and her baby asleep she fell onto the couch.

“Oh Rhys, I miss you.” she whispered to the empty room. And as she closed her eyes she could almost hear Rhy laughing a her and whispering in her ear, I miss you too.

20 Years after the War

“Hope, you are not leaving this house in that!” Feyre stood at the bottom of the stairs her hands on her hips.

Her daughter stood at the top, her black hair falling over her shoulders as she did a spin in her new dress, picked out by Mor. It was so short the Heir to the Night Court was wearing tiny shorts underneath the skirt, the material was tiny and black with tiny glittering stars all over, her already tall frame was made taller by 3 inch boots that seemed to be painted onto her calves. Her wings peaked out the back of the backless dress, they fanned out as she spun and Feyre couldn’t help but admire her daughters wingspan and its strength. After training her whole life with Cassian and Azriel she was faster then her dear old mum, plus her wingspan seemed to rival even Az’s.

“Come on Mum! It’s the Summer Solstice! Plus Aunt Mor is wearing something similar!” She almost ran down the stairs to hug her mum. Feyre pulled her into a tight embrace, hoping that if she clung onto her daughter for a little longer she will stop growing up.

“If Aunt Mor jumped off a bridge would you follow her?”

“Yes, I have wings.” Hopes smirk made Feyre’s heart jump and skip, it was so much like her fathers.

Let her wear it Feyre, she can’t cause that much damage Rhy purred down the bond.

Of course she can, she’s your daughter.

Rhys laugh echoed down the bond followed by an image of him tipping an imaginary cap. No matter how much time passed since his death she still heard him every day.

“I want you home by twelve and not a moment later.” Hope laughed again before running to the living room and returning with a garment bag under one arm.

“You’re coming too Mum, everyone is.”

Feyre wanted to say no, she wanted to stay home and maybe read her book or do the same thing she had done almost every night for 20 years. Sit in her room and stare at the unfinished painting of Rhys.

But Hope stood there, her large eyes an exact replica of her father's with the garment bag out and she knew she had to go. For her daughter.

She took the bag and made her way up the stairs.

Enjoy your night Darling

“I will, my Love.” She whispered to the sky.

One Hundred and Fourty Nine Years After the War

Hope moved out after her 148th Birthday, into a townhouse three doors down from Feyre. The day it had happened Feyre had fussed, had helped fold her daughters clothes and wrapped all breakables.

Cassian and Hope had laughed as the High Lady moved around the room packing up her daughter's life in the most human way.

Hope smiled and pulled her mother into an embrace, together they looked as if they were the same age. Hope had settled at 19, her body forever looking as if she was a youthful teenager. She was taller than Feyre and with her tanned skin and broad wingspan she was her father to her T. The only difference the whole Night Court noticed was that Hope never looked defeated, she never looked away with grief or memories. She had been raised with love and kindness and nothing had darkened her childhood.

“Mum, you do realise we can just winnow this all into my house.” Her voice was so much like Rhys, sometimes Feyre had to close her eyes and take a moment.

“I know, but give your mother a break. It's not everyday my only daughter leaves me.” Feyre held Hope closer. Her daughter always smells like rain on a summer's day.

“I’m going three doors down, I am not moving across the wall.”

“I know, I just like having you here that's all.” Feyre moved back across the room, refolding the clothes she had already folded. Hope and Cass just shook their heads before making quick work of moving everything to the new flat.

----

Feyre stood in the empty Townhouse, for the first time in a hundred and fifty years she was alone. No daughter stumbling in, no Cassian and Nesta arguing over anything and no Elain and Azriel sitting in silence as they read a book together. And no Rhys.

She hadn’t heard him in weeks, the mating bond finally had gone cold.

I need you Rhys, She sent down the bond, feeling her way down the tether only to find a solid wall of obsidian. I need you to tell me how to do this. I raised our daughter, I brought peace to the courts and I built the wall literally over your dead body. I need you.

Silence was her only answer, horrible deafening silence.

Feyre crumbled to the floor, her legs giving up. She wanted to sob, to scream her pain but no sound could escape her lips. It was as if her whole world had gone deaf with the loss of her bond.

All her magic poured out of her, the darkness from Rhys, her sunlight from Helion, Her claws from Tamlin, all the powers and magic she had received from all the High Lords tried to force their way from under her skin and crawled over her curled up body.

She laid collapsed on the floor of the hallway, shaking and staring at nothing. With the end of her mating bond and the end of her daughter needing her Feyre fell into something worse than fading. She became a shell.

Nesta found her hours later, walking into the town house like she owned the place she fell to her knees at the sight of her baby sister staring at nothing sounded by shadows and light with claws gripping into the hardwood floors.

“Feyre! Get up!” she pulled her to her chest, rocking and shaking her.

“Get up Feyre! Get up and fight! Don’t sit back like he did, don’t fade into nothing like Father did! GET UP!” Nesta pushed her own magic through Feyres shields, tearing open her mind and grabbing Feyre from her shadow prison.

She wrapped her mental hands around Feyres soul and pulled her to the surface.

The High Lady of the Night Court blinked in her sisters arms, she breathing shallow as she took in her sisters strong arms and tearfilled eyes.

“I don’t want this anymore Nesta.” She whispered her own eyes filling with tears. “I can’t do this without him.”

Nesta closed her eyes, choosing her next words carefully, “We all know this is hard Feyre, Cass and Az lost their brother, Mor and Amren lost their family. None of us know how hard this could be at all for you. But you have to keep breathing and moving and being. Because you have a daughter, who is Rhysand. Remember that, she is him. Stay with us just a little longer for her and for me. Please.”

Feyre almost smiled, it was the nicest thing Nesta had ever said to her and for just a small moment she thought Maybe I can keep going.

So she did, Feyre stayed with her family. She ruled the Night Court, she dined nightly with her inner circle and she would walk the streets and talk to her people every day. She stayed for Hope and her sisters. But a part of her stayed in the shadows of her mind, nursing the thought fading like a toxic fall back.

Elain and Nesta watched their sister daily, finding excuses to walk with her or to make her spend the day with them. They watched her half hearted smiles and her darkened gaze when no one was looking. They watched her and nursed her, not back to who she was but enough to make sure Hope never found out.

Two Hundred Years After the War

Elain felt the vision pull her from her dreams, the vision felt cold. Her night dress billowed around her as she walked through the vision woods. She had a feeling she had been there before as she picked her way barefoot through the undergrowth. The air was cool and dry, and with a quick realisation she was in the Spring court. Further into the woods she went she found the new wall. Build after the war, a visible wall seen by humans and fae, it was built over the grave of Rhysand and held together by magic of each high lord. Elain had never seen it in person but over the last 200 years she had many visions of the wall, it had been singing out to her since its creation but she had never understood why. This was the first time she had walked to it, taking in its height and simplicity, just red brick over 12 feet high. She dared to raise her hand up, her long elegant fingers gently grazed the stone. Then the vision started to take control, images flyed at her, each vision like a punch in her skull. She saw flashes of Rhysand, of cassian and Azriel, of the court of nightmares and dreams and of things she could not make out. She felt pain in her heart, in her lungs then the burning started, from her core her body was burning from the inside out. She doubled over and both her hands grasped the wall, her fingers gripping the rough surface. The burning pain moved suddenly from her core, up her chest and then burned through her arms, leaving her body though her fingers. She screamed in pain as the flames left her body, burning her nails. She pushed away from the wall, breathing heavily to catch her breath. The pain had subsided leaving her feeling colder than she had ever felt.

Stepping away she took in her finger prints on the wall, they had burnt away the stone and gently she poked the holes, the rest of the stone fell away under her touch and she felt something alive under the shadows. Whatever it was pushed the rest of the crumbling stone away, Elain stumbled back losing her footing on the undergrowth she fell down onto her back. Pushing herself halfway up she saw movement in the shadows, they stumbled from the wall slowly, their face tilted up and the moonlight lit up their features.

“RHYS!”

Elain woke with a start, her eyes opening to darkness as she felt her partners wings close further around her. She had awoken like this so often it brought her comfort as the chill from the vision slowly melted away.

“Breathe.” muttered the sleepy male next to her. Azriel tightened his wings closer around her like a cocoon and pulled her close to his chest, she clung to him with a hunger that she hoped would never pass as she slowly came to her senses, the chill from the vision and sleep finally slipping away from her. He rubbed her shoulders as his shadows moved to replace his wings, shifting so she could see that it was still night. After all these years she was still shocked by the warmth the shadows brought to her bare skin

.

What happened? he whispered to her, mind to mind. His words like a shiver down her shields.

Elain took some time to answer, her vision still replaying over and over in her mind. She couldn’t send it to him though. They had learnt years before that her visions were hers alone and no matter who or what tried to see them they never could. The cauldron had created a shield for her visions stronger than anything the shadowsinger had ever seen.

“I saw Rhys. I saw him stumbling out the of wall.” she shivered at the memory, she could still see it as she closed her eyes. Her fingers flexed as she remembered the flames that had escaped their tips. Azriel stilled, his fingers that had been running up and down her arms stopped. She moved off him, turning to look him in the eyes. The whole vision tumbled from her lips as Azriel kept a solid hand on her back, his eyes staring intensely into hers.

“Az, I think Rhysand is alive.” she whispered the words breaking the eye contact, afraid that if she said them outloud the universe would find a way to prove her wrong.

He shook his head, his hair falling to his eyes.

“How?”

“I don’t know.” they leant forehead to forehead, taking in this new information. Elain knew what it meant, if Rhys was alive then Feyre would get better, their child would have a father and the Inner Circle would finally heal.

#feyre #feyre x rhysand #feyre archeron #elain archeron #elain x azriel #azriel #cassian #cassian x nesta #nesta archeron #a court of wings and ruin #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #fanfiction #ff #acotar ff #shadowsinger #@alicethelonerabbit

[moiraineswife]

Just something for your consideration because I have just thought of this and think it's adorable... Elain, giving Lucien flowers

It IS adorable aier;toienoac okay okay have some more thoughts in return that this Spawned: (listen i’m fully aware that u were probably just ‘wouldn’t it be nice if Elain handed Lucien a little bunch of flowers one day, that’d be sweet, but like GO BIG OR GO HOME MEABHD. and u sent this to me i honestly don’t know what else u were expecting...) 

Elain says at the end of ACOWAR that she wants to fill the world with more gardens. No doubt she makes the one she’s started in Velaris spread and enthusiastically throws herself into it after the war. It’s a place that she’s comfortable and a place that’s hers so Lucien, being tactful and polite, probably chooses to court her there more often. 

He lets her talk endlessly about the flowers that she’s growing there, all the different seeds, the things that will grow in Prythian that she’d never even heard of in the mortal realms (she scolds his people for that because dammit, if I’d known about this before I’d have come here much sooner. And Lucien offers her a very grave apology on behalf of all fae-dom which makes her giggle) 

Lucien literally lived in the Court of Flowers for the past 300 years or something, right, and he spent an inordinate amount of time riding the rails, on border patrol, etc, etc. The boy knows his plants, okay. And he’s probably delighted to have someone as enthusiastic as he is to share that with. (Listen, Lucien spent his free time in the Autumn Court camping out miles away from his home and learning how to catch trout with his bare hands - he loves the outdoors just as much as Elain, who spent all her time wherever they were carving out a garden, does. Elain spreads life wherever she goes and Lucien basks in it. This is a beautiful point of bonding for them). 

Lucien tells her all about the Spring Court. It was toxic and unhealthy for him in Tamlin’s court and Elain gets very grumpy about the abuse that he suffered at Tamlin’s hands (and starts to encourage Lucien to look and think about Tamlin’s treatment of him too) but the court itself was beautiful. He tells her about the deep forests. About the plants that would bloom all year round. The gardens of the manor and the wild, untamed beauty found in the heart of the court. 

Partly he talks to share this wonder with Elain the only way he knows how. He would take her there but with his relationship with Tamlin being what it is that isn’t possible...But he knows that he needs to tell her everything he can about it. Elain laps it all up and so he starts sharing things from the Autumn Court as well, diving into memories he thought he’d long forgotten because that court, too, had its beauty. 

As he talks Elain starts to realise that this is for her benefit that he’s sharing these things, to see her smile and light up in wonder imagining all of the things he’s telling her about...But she also starts to sense a pang of longing and nostalgia in him and she realises that a part of him is homesick for these parts of those courts he once called home. 

Elain hatches a cunning plan. 

Using that sweet, diplomatic charm she cultivated in human high society she charms merchants and vendors from other courts into getting her what she needs and sets to work. 

There’s a corner of her garden that she keeps fenced off and made such ferocious threats to Cassian when he tried to peek inside that he swears of all the Archeron sisters, he fears Elain the most. No-one is allowed to go to the part of the garden but especially not Lucien, it’s kept so secret from him that he doesn’t even know it exists. 

Not until Elain comes to him one day, bursting with excitement and glowing so brightly people start questioning which one of them, exactly, is the heir to Day. She takes Lucien by the hand and quite firmly ignores his baffled babbling as she ties a blindfold over his eyes and leads him outside. She just tells him to trust her and Lucien shuts his mouth and obeys and that’s that. 

She leads him out into the garden (Lucien stumbling a few times because, well, Elain is very excited and enthusiastic and that tends to dull her noticing things like loose stones and protruding roots, all of which poor Lucien trips over) but they manage to make it to this special little corner relatively intact. 

Quivering with anticipation Elain takes off Lucien’s blindfold (standing on her toes and having him bend down a little while she curses him for being so damn tall) and waits with baited breath for his reaction as she stares around at what she’s created for. A little part of her garden is a miniature Spring Court, with a small section of Autumn too, both of them filled with all of Lucien’s favourite plants and flowers, that she spent a great deal of time researching to make sure she got it just right. 

Lucien steps forwards on slightly trembling legs and moves deeper into the garden. It feels like he’s home, at last, like this strange, alien court that spent so long as the subject of his most twisted nightmares, could some day be his. Elain tentatively follows him and murmurs that she knew he was missing home and she thought this might help but if he doesn’t like it...

Never in all his many, many years of life has Lucien ever been this lost for words. After a very long moment and several tries, instinct and training kick in at last and he’s finally able to wheeze that he loves it, he loves it and that no-one...No-one has ever done anything like this for him before.

 That little line he’s learning to love creases between Elain’s brows at that and she says that they should have done...Then she softens and smiles and murmurs quietly that she supposes she just has a lot of making up to do, in that case. 

Lucien walks towards her and pulls her to him and tells her that he would very, very much like to kiss her right now, if that would be agreeable to her. Elain giggles and informs him that she didn’t very well go to all this effort for the simple pleasure of watching him gape at her like a fish, she thinks he should most definitely kiss her, after all her hard work. 

Lucien doesn’t need to be told twice. He laughs at her boldness, even as she blushes for him, and wonders if this woman, this soft heart who just might be the strongest person he’s ever known, will ever stop surprising him. 

He concludes, as she, impatient with his overly-polite dilly-dallying, takes his face firmly between her hands and draws him down to kiss her, that she most certainly will not. And he’s absolutely fine with that. 

Once he’s spent a good long time properly appreciating Elain and all her hard work and their lips are red and swollen from said appreciation, he lets her lead him around the garden. 

She shows him every single plant she’s brought here and lets him talk, tell her silly little facts about them, how that one is good to put on burns and that one should absolutely not, under any circumstances and no matter how much gold she’s offered, ever be drunk as a tea. 

She tells him how much trouble she had getting hold of that and he tells her he’s not surprised, that it almost died out a few decades ago and he can’t believe she managed to get it to grow at all. Elain swells with pride and Lucien appreciates her some more. 

He laughs and laughs and laughs over a small, insignificant looking little plant and tells her about the memories that it brings back from Spring, when things were better, a lifetime ago. Then he asks about her favourites, of the new ones that she’s found here and they bond and Lucien appreciates her a great deal. 

Lucien, ever the graceful courtier, plucks up a delicate blue rose and tucks it into her hair. And then nothing will do but that Elain has to weave an entire bouquet into Lucien’s hair. They lie in the shade of a tree while she does this, Elain’s legs folded into a (highly unladylike, as Lucien teasingly comments and gets a swat on the arm in return) basket, Lucien’s head in her lap. As she works she confesses, giggling and blushing, that she’s been wanting to play with his hair for a very long time. Lucien smiles and tells her she’s welcome to do this as often as she wishes. Elain leans down and kisses him upside down. 

Lucien refuses to take off his flower crown and proudly wears it to the family dinner the Circle have that night at the House of Wind. During which, Feyre smiles knowingly at them and just smiles some more when Elain sidles over to thank her for helping her find out what flowers Lucien likes. 

#meabhd #elucien #elain archeron #lucien #acowar #acowar spoilers #I GOT A TINY BIT CARRIED AWAY #JUST A SMIDGE #LIKE A TOTEY SMIDGE #IT WASN'T MY FAULT THEY MADE ME DO IT #I'M SO SORRY #BUT ALSO NOT??? #BUT ALSO A BIT #BECAUSE I KIND OF...LOST IT A BIT O_O #short story: i rlly like the idea of elain giving lucien flowers #ahem #ANYWAY MOVING ON #answers #lauren answers #elain x lucien

[angryelves2-blog]

A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas

★★

Feyre has returned to the Spring Court, determined to gather information on Tamlin's maneuverings and the invading king threatening to bring Prythian to its knees. But to do so she must play a deadly game of deceit-and one slip may spell doom not only for Feyre, but for her world as well. As war bears down upon them all, Feyre must decide who to trust amongst the dazzling and lethal High Lords-and hunt for allies in unexpected places. In this thrilling third book in the #1 New York Times bestselling series from Sarah J. Maas, the earth will be painted red as mighty armies grapple for power over the one thing that could destroy them all.

As I’ve said before in my review of Empire of Shadows, I have a complicated relationship with SJM’s books. Some of her worldbuilding interests me, as do one or two of her characters, but her worlds and stories are so problematic and so white, cis, allo and straight that now I’m just waiting to read the last books of her series to say good bye to her writing completely.

(Spoilers ahead) (I do mean it: SPOILERS AHEAD).

(Also, this review is 3.5k words long, fyi).

I had heard many bad things about A Court of  Wings and Ruin before starting it and sadly most of them are true. I wanted to talk first about her use of acephobic tropes, first brought to my attention thanks to the excerpt below:

Dagdan and Brannagh had listened to her fawning with enough boredom that I was starting to wonder if the two of them perhaps preferred no one’s company but each other’s. In whatever unholy capacity. Not a blink of interest toward the beauty who often made males and females stop to gape. Perhaps any sort of physical passion had long ago been drained away, alongside their souls.

There is a lot to unpack here. First, the assumption that lack of interest in a beautiful women probably means the two characters have no physical passion; second, the link between having no physical passion and no soul, since they (the souls and their physical passion) apparently were sucked out of their bodies together.

Many fans of the series said that the soulless part of this paragraph had been mentioned before, so no, their lack of physical passion and their soullessness weren’t linked. I disagreed with them – even if it had been mentioned before, it’s not okay to say two soulless characters lost their “physical passion” alongside their souls, not only because the statement itself is shitty (it implies someone with a soul would never lack physical passion) but because it assumes everyone has this “physical passion” and that not having it is abnormal.

Now, when I first read this, I thought Feyre meant it literally – as in, Dagdan and Brannagh had their souls drained away for real. But when I read the book, surprise!, they didn’t. They are just evil.

Here’s the first time Feyre mentions the twins’ evilness:

But it was the two commanders – one male, one female – that had a sliver of true fear sliding into my heart. High Fae in appearance, their skin the same ruddy hue and hair the identical inky black as their king. But it was their vacant, unfeeling faces that snagged the eye. A lack of emotion honed from millennia of cruelty.

And how she keeps establishing that they feel no emotion:

Tamlin inclined his head to the prince and princess. “Welcome to my home. We have rooms prepared for all of you.” “My brother and I shall reside in one together,” the princess said. Her voice was deceptively light – almost girlish. The utter lack of feeling, the utter authority was anything but.

By the way, there is no proof whatsoever of them being incestuous. Granted, we can assume SJM left it open and that they probably are, but Feyre thinks they are because 1. they don’t fawn over Ianthe, the beautiful woman, or show any “physical passion” and 2. they sleep in the same room/tent.

That’s it.

So no, their souls weren’t drained from their bodies.

And no, there is no proof in canon that they are incestuous twins.

They are just evil. Cold, emotionless faeries who are so evil they don’t feel any ~physical passion~ (only maybe for each other, which, again, isn’t even canon, it’s just something Feyre assumes about them).

Their characters rely in many acephobic tropes, because well, lots and lots of villains rely on acephobic tropes. One of the most common ace(phobic) stereotypes is that ace people (or just people who feel no “physical passion”, since no one ever uses the word) can’t feel anything and are cold, frigid beings, mostly likely also evil. It’s no coincidence that in a series like this one, where anyone who is 1. pretty or 2. good will probably date/have sex with someone at some point and where hetero romances are forced down the reader’s throat all the time, the characters who are portrayed as feeling no physical passion are evil, emotionless and cruel.

I’m not saying SJM wrote them thinking, hehe I’m gonna use acephobic stereotypes and hurt ace folks! because I’m sure she didn’t. This trope is ingrained in the way we tell stories. Villains are the cold, emotionless ones who feel no sexual or romantic attraction and are forever alone. Heroes are the open, feeling ones who get the girl/boy in the end and live happily ever after. This goes back to what I’ve talked about a thousand times in this blog: the belief that sex and romantic love are what makes us human, and if aro & ace people don’t feel romantic/sexual attraction, then they aren’t human. Since villains are usually villains for not being nice humans, then they also never have sex (and if they do, they don’t feel in love with the person and that is portrayed as something bad) and never date anyone, which implies a lack of sexual and romantic attraction.

See what I’m trying to say? Lack of sexual and/or romantic attraction = bad, and since villains = bad, it’s common for villains to be portrayed as lacking sexual and/or romantic attraction. Which is, well, one of the reasons I spent my whole life relating to aro/ace coded villains instead of relating to the straight, cis, allo heroes, since aro/ace coded heroes are so damn rare, but using this trope to build evil villains is still a shitty thing to do. I’m not saying villains can’t be aro/ace, but we must be careful with how we portray the lack of sexual and romantic attraction and why we usually link these two things to villains who are literally the most evil, cruel and mean people to walk on earth.

SJM sadly wasn’t careful. She made use of aphobic tropes like many authors do, and while I’m sure she didn’t do it on purpose, that doesn’t mean the harm she caused is any less valid.

And since her series is so damn saturated with sex and romance, the use of this trope is even more glaring.

Second thing I wanted to talk about: her portrayal of the only bisexual character, Helion, the High Lord of the Day Court.

This is how his bisexuality (or pansexuality or polysexuality) is introduced:

Helion threw himself onto the couch across from Cassian and Mor. He’d ditched the radiant crown somewhere, but kept tht gold armband of the upright serpent. “It’s been what – four centuries now, and you three still haven’t accepted my offer.” Mor lolled her head to the side. “I don’t like to share, unfortunately.” “You never know until you try,” Hellion purred. The three of them in bed… with him? I must have been blinking like a fool because Rhy said to me, Helion favors both males and females. Usually together in bed. And has been hounding after that trio for centuries.

Which… Well, I’m sure I don’t need to say why this is not exactly good rep, but in any case: one of the most common stereotypes of bisexuality is that bisexuals are 1. always promiscuous and 2. always looking for threesomes.

Or in Helion’s case, foursomes.

Of course there are bi people who have a lot of sex and enjoy three or foursomes, but the stereotype is so common, and so harmful, that the author, esp a straight author, needs to be very careful when they write a bi character like this. And well, Helion isn’t an important character. I mean, he is – he’s the High Lord of the Day Court, after all – but he’s not one of the main characters and he isn’t that crucial to the story. Maas doesn’t have time (or just didn’t bother, who knows) to develop him and establish him as a more multidimensional, complete character. As it is, all we know about Helion is that he’s really powerful, really beautiful, that he’s the High Lord of the Day Court, that he loves three/foursomes with both men and women and that he did nothing to save a woman he loved from her abusive husband. Also, that he’s Lucien’s father.

That’s it.

I think things could have been different if he were a more developed character. In ACOWAR, unfortunately, he’s more stereotype than character, which doesn’t really convince me of SJM’s efforts to diversify her work, especially if we take the problematic way in which she revealed Aedion’s bisexuality in Empire of Storms in consideration. Also, it’s pretty clear she didn’t do any research or had any sensitivity readers; the promiscuous, threesome-loving bisexual is easily, as I said, the most common stereotype about bisexuals. A simple google search would’ve saved her in this one, but apparently she couldn’t be bothered to do that.

Third thing: Mor.

Mor comes out as lesbian to Feyre only in this book. Here’s how she does it (after Feyre throws in her face that fact that Mor doesn’t do anything with the info that Azriel loves her):

“No.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “No. I don’t … You see …” I’d never seen her at such a loss for words. She closed her eyes, fingers digging into her skin. “I can’t love him like that.”

“Why?”

“Because I prefer females.”

For a heartbeat, only silence rippled through me. “But—you sleep with males. You slept with Helion …” And had looked terrible the next day. Tortured and not at all sated.

Not just because of Azriel, but … because it wasn’t what she wanted.

“I do find pleasure in them. In both.” Her hands were shaking so fiercely that she gripped herself even tighter. “But I’ve known, since I was little more than a child, that I prefer females. That I’m … attracted to them more over males. That I connect with them, care for them more on that soul-deep level. But at the Hewn City … All they care about is breeding their bloodlines, making alliances through marriage. Someone like me … If I were to marry where my heart desired, there would be no offspring. My father’s bloodline would have ended with me. I knew it—knew that I could never tell them. Ever. People like me … we’re reviled by them. So I never breathed a word of it. And then… then my father betrothed me to Eris and… And it wasn’t just the prospect of marriage to him that scared me. No, I knew I could survive his brutality, his cruelty and coldness. I was– I am stronger than him. It was the idea of being bred like a prize mare, of being forced to give up that one part of me…” Her mouth wobbled, and I reached for her hand, prying it off her arm. I squeezed gently as tears began sliding down her flushed face.

So she is a women loving woman who is okay with having sex with men (maybe she’s bisexual, but homoromantic? The whole thing isn’t clear, in my opinion. Does she just enjoy the sex and feel no sexual attraction to men – which is more probable, I think, since I doubt SJM knows about the split attraction model – or feel sexual attraction to men, but not romantic love?). She’s had a female lovers before, even one with whom she says she was quite happy, but she was a human queen who died long ago. Mor’s story is also full of suffering because homo/lesbophobia and she’s still in the closet because of fear.

She doesn’t sleep with men in hopes it will cure her, though. She mentions she thought about sleeping with Azriel to see if she could feel something for him, but ultimately chose not to because of how he would see it and the fact that she knows she just won’t fall in love with him. In her words, “I’m not sure I can give my entire heart to him that way. And… and I love him enough to want him to ind someone who can truly love him like he deserves. And I love myself… I love myself enough to not want to settle until I find that person, too.”

Honestly? I’m not sure about her rep. I’m not a wlw, not a lesbian and not even a woman, so I prefer to abstain from comments on it. The whole thing is complicated and I don’t think a voice outside of the wlw community or the lesbian community is needed here.

Some other notes on diversity: there are more queer characters and more characters of color in ACOWAR. Thesan, the High Lord of the Dawn Court, and his male lover; Nephelle and her wife; Helion, who is described as having “dark skin”, Lucien, who is revealed as being biracial (he’s Helion’s son, after all, though I don’t remember Maas mentioning that he has darker skin than his (half) brothers until this book), and some other character here and there. With the exception of Lucien, all of them are minor characters, and Thesan’s lover and Nephelle and her wife don’t even speak. In fact, I don’t think Nephelle’s wife and Thesan’s lover even have names.

So. Yeah.

Which brings us to another thing I wanted to talk about: the worldbuilding of this series and how much of a mess it is sometimes. Something I’ll never understand is why Maas never bothered to name the human queens, for example (with the exception of Vessa), or even her kingdoms. I mean, have no idea of where these kingdoms are. In fact, I didn’t even know (or remember) that there were other faerie kingdoms besides Hybern and the Seven Courts.

But what really bothered me was how SJM tried to retcon her world into being queer friendly while still making it heteronormative.

There was no mention of queer characters in book one and two, as far as I can remember. They simply didn’t exist. And well, the fae are really, really heteronormative and exorsexist. There is only male and female and 99% of the time it is assumed that a male must want a female, and a female must want a male, and that everyone, regardless of gender, must want someone else as well. I mean, look at the mating bonds – they are many times described as something primitive, that the males can’t resist, and in ACOWAR Rhy even admits mating bonds probably only exist as a way to provide the strongest offspring:

“A mating bond can be rejected,” Rhys said mildly, eyes flickering in the mirror as he drank in every inch of bare skin I had on display. “There is choice. And sometimes, yes—the bond picks poorly. Sometimes, the bond is nothing more than some … preordained guesswork at who will provide the strongest offspring. At its basest level, it’s perhaps only that. Some natural function, not an indication of true, paired souls.” A smile at me—at the rareness, perhaps, of what we had. “Even so,” Rhys went on, “there will always be a … tug. For the females, it is usually easier to ignore, but the males … It can drive them mad. It is their burden to fight through, but some believe they are entitled to the female. Even after the bond is rejected, they see her as belonging to them. Sometimes they return to challenge the male she chooses for herself. Sometimes it ends in death. It is savage, and it is ugly, and it mercifully does not happen often, but … Many mated pairs will try to make it work, believing the Cauldron selected them for a reason. Only years later will they realize that perhaps the pairing was not ideal in spirit.”

The Fae’s masculinity is more often than not extremely toxic. Extremely feral and territorial. Usually because of the bond, something apparently biological that exists to provide “the strongest offspring”.

The foundations of this society are built on heteronormativity, sexism and amatonormativity.

And yet it is queer-friendly, with the exception of the Court of Nightmares, Mor’s home. No one blinks at the very minor queer couples. Not even Feyre, who was raised a human beyond the wall, which one can understand as being a indicative that humans are also queer friendly.

And yet there were no queer people, or at least no hint that queer people could at least exist, in 2/3 of the series.

Now, I’m not saying the fae society should be queerphobic. Far from that. But in my opinion? Maas didn’t even think about including queer characters (or POC) until people criticized her for her lack of diversity (which, fine, it happens to straight cis allo white authors), but then she didn’t do the work to actually make her queer-friendly society believable based on what she had already established. If no one bats an eyelash at Thesan and his male lover or at Nephelle and her wife or at Helion and his many male and female lovers, than why was Mor assumed straight all this time? Yes, I know she came from the Court of Nightmares, but most characters didn’t. As far as the reader knows, the other characters grew up in a queer-friendly world, and not one of them suspected she might not be straight?

Why is the assumption that everyone is straight a thing in a mostly queer-friendly world?

And how does the bond work for same sex couples? Does it exist? If not (I think not, since it is a “we need STRONG offspring” thing), then how does that difference influences the way straight couples and queer couples are seen? Or it doesn’t? And if doesn’t, then why is the mating bond such a big deal?

(WHY why W H Y does it exist at all???)

We just don’t know.

And that’s what really bothers me. Maas’s world is extremely heteronormative, cisnormative, exorsexist, amatonormative and so on, and yet she tries to mask everything with some worldbuilding elements that make no sense. It’s the same thing for how abuse is handled – ACOWAR is full of conversations about consent where Rhys tells Feyre he doesn’t own her, that she is free to do as she wants, etc, but not once does it acknowledge that what Rhys did to Feyre Under the Mountain was a violation of her consent. That it was abuse. Everything is explained away with “well, I did it to save you“, which isn’t exactly nice.

As for the story… there are some good elements in it. I liked Lucien and Feyre’s moments, for example (Lucien is in fact my favorite character in this series and I’m still pissed that SJM made him have a bond just to make him miserable) (and pissed that the abuse he suffered in Tamlin’s hands wasn’t recognized) and despite some things (aka the men being ridiculous) I really enjoyed the meeting of the High Lords. But this is the weakest novel in the trilogy for me. The writing I liked in ACOTAR is gone, as is that amazing atmosphere that made me want to read reading it, and the sex scenes continue to be truly awful (not only awful. Dreadful. Embarrassing. Maybe romance novels have been spoiling me, because SJM’s sex scenes are so terrifyingly bad). The ending here is rushed and lacks tension. So many things were badly handled – there was so much build up to the Ouroboroes mirror, for example, for 0 payoff, and no one will ever convince me that the Weaver and the Bone Carver didn’t die so Feyre & Cia didn’t need to deal with them being free. It was so obvious that Maas didn’t want Feyre and Rhys to deal with two powerful death-gods free in the upcoming spin-off series.

Also, Amren and Rhys dying and coming back from the dead? So cheap. As much as I like Amren, at least her should’ve continued dead. Bringing them back was such a cheap move, and the whole scene was also so bad. It’s like Maas was running out of time to write it.

Also, Lucien was away for like, 60% of the book, which was extremely disappointing.

In conclusion, this wasn’t a good book. The latter half in especial was bad, rushed and not fun to read. I have no idea of which story Maas will tell in the spin-off series. My only interest in it is in the possibility of it being about Lucien, but if she makes a love triangle between him, Elain and Azriel…. ugh.

2.0 stars for A Court of Wings and Ruin.

#acowar #a court of wings and ruin #(this is a negative review pls stay away if you are a stan) #sarah j maas #reviews #my reviews

[illyriantremors]

1/3 Okay, I'm going to try this again. Sorry if I repeat myself? I don't remember exactly what I said! Anyway, I think Feyre DID feel the mate bond, however she didn't register what it was. Remember, she had been basically TORTURED for months – and then abused both emotionally and mentally. Yet she was still clinging to this GUILT that she was a traitor for catching these feelings for Rhys. That would give anybody a reason to conceal their emotions, and to AVOID thinking about it.

2/3 Which could mean that she did not mention in her thoughts, so as to not give that thought any power/control over her. Similar to Rhys, who completely BANISHED the thought that she was his mate in fear that she would be done "such unspeakable things". I even think she was AFRAID of what it meant. Afraid of being 'chained' and 'trapped' with somebody for eternity. Mid-through ACOMAF, she's still figuring out what the abuse she received DID to her and why it could NEVER happen again.

3/3 It gives her the right to be concerned about being with somebody for forever. Rhys WAS her friend – but Tamlin WAS her first real love, too, and he definitely hurt her. A lot. So when she began catching these feelings for Rhys, she must have felt guilty because of Tamlin, and because of how STRONG her feelings were. I'm sure the mating bond magnifies those sort of feelings, which explains how she fell in love with Rhys in a relatively short amount of time for immortals. So I

4/4 think, despite everything sort of pointing towards the fact that she must NOT have felt the mating bond/not as strong as Rhys did, I'm sure she did. At first, her suffering enabled her from doing much other than... suffer, and then eventually I believe sometimes the feelings she describes ARE of a mating bond, and that she simply doesn't realize it. Thoughts?

Yay!! All of these messages came through, woo-hoo! :)

I think you bring up some really great points. But I also think we’re sort of looking at two different issues here and I think I probably need to sort of separate out what I mean by she doesn’t “feel” the mate bond.

Definitely you’re right - Feyre is aware of the bond and just doesn’t know what it is. But how much of it is she really aware of? When I say that Feyre doesn’t feel the bond, I mean she doesn’t see it, does live it, does breathe it the way that Rhys does. For Rhys, he feels the bond lock in to place for him on that balcony at the end of ACOTAR. This never happens for Feyre until they sleep together That’s the first time she sees and feels the bond as a tangible thing. And it’s that difference that bothers me. Like why would it take her so long for it to click or if it doesn’t click, she should at least be questioning some things? I mean, it’s a powerful feeling and Rhys is consumed by it, but Feyre isn’t? But then again, maybe it’s more potent because it clicked for him and not for Feyre, but like why was it so easy for him to have it click when he’s been under just as much duress/suffering/abuse as she has? Is it really just the simple fact that his 500+ years make considering a mate bond instinctual whereas Feyre’s 19/20 human years have no clue about mate bonds? I think that’s a poor excuse, personally, given how powerful the feeling of the bond is, but anyway, text...

When I went to leave you... I think transforming you into Fae made the bond lock into place permanently. I’d known it existed, but it hit me then - hit me so strong that I panicked.

- Rhys, page 527, ACOMAF [describing seeing Feyre on the balcony at the end of ACOTAR]

Again, he pulled out, then thrust in.

“You’re mine.”

Again - faster, deeper this time.

I felt it then, the bond between us, like an unbreakable chain, like an undimmable ray of light.

With each pounding stroke, the bond glowed clearer and brighter and stronger.

- Feyre, page 533, ACOMAF [55 - you know the one]

Rhys knew about the bond beforehand, just like Feyre. Feyre sort of... didn’t.

Yes, Feyre feels the bond between them in a shallow sense - Rhys uses it to “call” her, send emotions to her, etc. But she never really feels it or sees it for what it is. The mate scene continues off this passage and shows how that bond becomes clearer to her because in that moment - they’re mating officially, so of course now she gets it in full force. But I think right before it does, Feyre finally has her ah-ha! moment like Rhys did on that balcony. That is what is missing for me in her story, the fact that Rhys has felt that full weight of the bond pressing in on him for so much longer. Feyre felt it when she died (she tells the Bone Carver this) and she feels it again - blatantly uses it - when Rhys gets shot out of the sky. But it doesn’t quite lock into place the way Rhys describes at any point and once both those moments are over, she goes back to not knowing.

And I just... ????? Why? It seems so unfair. Rhys has just as much baggage in his life to distract him, yet he knows the second he meets her on Calanmai! I don’t expect Feyre to know right away or anything - she is human and wouldn’t be looking for a mate bond, but at no single point between then and the Suriel does the bond overwhelm her to the point that she wises up a tad? They talk about mate bonds periodically and she never once wonders? Never once thinks about Rhys’s parents and goes, “Funny how she almost died and a mate bond saved her life... NOT UNLIKE ME.” I just wish she was slightly more cognizant of it.

And I think it’s hard because definitely there are moments throughout ACOMAF where she senses Rhys and picks up on certain things about him. But how much of that is the bond? How much is the bargain? That surely confused her too. I think she writes a lot of their interactions off on the bargain and unfortunately, there are things in the Hybern scene that give some of those suspicions validity (in my opinion). I feel like these two are so hard for a mate bond study because the bargain and the damaeti aspects make the bond so convoluted.

And you are right! You are so, so, so incredibly right that Feyre is SUPER DISTRACTED and coming out of a lot of trauma! If you removed Tamlin and the abuse and the things that she endured UtM, and then placed her in a setting with Rhys that didn’t have so many risks and constraints and old emotions tied up in it, maybe yeah she would have seen it faster and actually felt it lock in place.

As far as guilt holding Feyre back goes - yes and no. I think it holds her back from loving Rhys for sure. She narrates this multiple times. And if holding herself back from loving him means she is held back from the bond, so be it. But again, Rhys felt that bond before he ever fell in love with her (Calanmai), so I’m inclined to think that the guilt was less to do with the bond itself. But yeah, it totally stops her from loving him in moments.

That guilt also wasn’t there in the early Velaris/Night Court chapters. She still hated Rhys at that point (and in some spots, swap the hate for just strong dislike to eventual neutrality before we get to the falling in love portion). I think Feyre did have guilt in those chapters, but she wasn’t in love with Rhys so I think it was more guilt that she left Tamlin at all, which leaves her open to that mate bond again and she doesn’t feel it dang it. But as you pointed out - she’s under a lot of stress and pressure and so yeah, totally distracted! All I can think is that it’s the distractions coupled with the damaeti power coupled with the bargain coupled with her human awareness/knowledge that prevent her from seeing it and it eventually clicking! into place.

BUT I AM STILL BOTHERED BY IT BECAUSE THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT AND RHYS IS THAT RHYS HAD A FAE UPBRINGING THAT TAUGHT HIM ABOUT MATE BONDS. [Not yelling at you, nonnie. Just yelling because *frustrated*]

Like - they literally are in the same boat and yes, Rhys is way more experienced and aware in general of fae things, but... Feyre, why? I don’t know. Maybe I’m hard on her, but I’ll be curious when we see more of Elain what happens.

TL;DR I have too many questions about mate bonds and not enough answers. I think that for as much as Feyre grows and recovers in ACOMAF, it’s odd that she never once questions the things she’s feeling and that she’s not able to feel the bond click! like Rhys until they’re basically boning when he felt it at the drop of a hat. Whether her human head knows about a mate bond or not, if a bond clicks, it clicks and that’s that even if you don’t know what to call it. I just feel like this should have happened for Feyre without having to be told or whatever. And even once the Suriel tells her - she still doesn’t feel it. She runs away, yes, but still it takes her getting naked with him instead of seeing it when she returned to the cave and saw her mate dying right in front of her or when he shows up on her doorstep at the cabin and bawls their love story out at the kitchen table for several pages of the most heartbreaking angst ever - FEYRE WHY DIDN’T IT EVER SNAP FOR YOU BEFORE THE SEX WHY WHY WHY DO YOU NEED AN ORGASM BEFORE THE CLICKING CAN HAPPEN - OH WAIT YOU TRIED THAT IN THE INN AND EVEN THEN THE MATE BOND WAS LIKE SCREW YOU NOT GONNA HAPPEN LIKE IT JUST HAPPENED FOR RHYS HE HAD NO CONTROL IT JUST HAPPENED FOR HIS PARENTS TOO THEY HAD NO CONTROL BUT THEY FELT THE BOND CLICK AND THEY WERE DONE FOR SO WHY NOT YOU TOO??!?!

I feel like this got really incoherent, i just... *sigh*, It seems like something you can't control? Even if you don't know it's a mate bond, like it seems like you see the person, you feel the thing, you're screwed, but Feyre's just like nahhhhhh, I feel no things, like she feels things but never the THING, the interlocking thing in her stomach that makes her physically stumble backwards and take a breathe, that tells her that her very soul has just been reorganized. If Rhys’s parents can have that happen to them having never ever met in their lives, no love between them, no relationship, nothing, then why isn’t Feyre compelled by the universe to feel it too?

Sorry. I have a lot of feels about this.

xx

#ask #sierra answers #mymeta #mate bonds #i have problems #i'm sorry if that got crazy #Anonymous