#madi talks

[skynapple]

Idk fellas what do we think?

#love and deep space #love and deepspace #madi talks #madi plays lads

[tanalorrs-heartthrob]

I have thoughts about Cal's trust issues and I'm going to make it everyone's problem

(with special thanks to @cal-with-a-kesett-tape and @weadapt's problem cause they started this blubbering mess)

It hit me like a brick earlier.

Cal knew the Mantis crew loved him.

Love wasn't enough to make them stay.

Cal has never had the chance to really sit down and think about what attachments really were and how they feel. Hear me out.

This started about Cal's trust issues. I started thinking yeah, the way his Mantis crew family left all of a sudden really shook them and he kind of replaced them subconsciously with a new crew, a new family. A couple of quick notes:

- Lost his master

- Loses all his friends on Bracca (it's implied in Jedi Survivor post-game dialogue that he had other friends besides Prauf that he left behind)

- Prauf

- Crew he grew to love left him jarring his whole world

- Lost his "new" crew suddenly and all he has left of that memory is Bode so he kind of clings to Bode unknowingly

- Bode betrayal shatters him

- Clings to the idea that he and Dagan could work together - for a split second you can see in his eyes he sees it all. He and Dagan, hair flowing in the wind, swinging lightsabers, fighting the empire together, rebuilding the order together, it's romantic really. That lasts all of 2 seconds and he's so confused.

- He loses Cordova, a man he had a pseudo-connection through BD-1 with for so long

- Loses Cere, his second master

- Has to literally kill Bode and live with that

That said, I started thinking yeah he probably doesn't really realize that how deep that all goes within him or how much it actually comes down to his lack of really knowing what attachments are. This is going to cause so many trust issues and him closing himself off because he can't handle the reality of losing more people, especially after Bode shattered his inner-most circle. How's he going to let people in again?

Then it hit me like a brick.

There's a big reason why he sees so much of himself in Dagan. Dagan's attachments turned sour - it went the Vader route of being possessive. His obsession with Sentari's project and Tanalorr was a product of not being able to let his attachments go. That's pretty clear in the game, and mirrored in how Cal has allowed "The Fight" to become his attachment.

Jaro's last words are, "Hold the line" right? We know how he now has this deep engrained need to be needed. He has to fight for something. Yes, it's all he knows, but it's deeper than that, it's the last thread he has to his master. What would happen if he let that go? Cal hasn't really sat and thought about that yet.

Not only that, Cal has internalized his loyalty to this cause as like. A familial thread. The fight was his thing and the Mantis crew became his family, filling a void. The fight is their thing. And for the first time in his life Cal feels safe again. He's finally got some solidly dedicated efforts and people he can depend on. So in them leaving the Fight behind (for good reasons!!) Cal can't reconcile that leaving that isn't leaving him too, (or as @cal-with-a-kesett-tape puts it, abandoning him) it's like denouncing loyalty to him too. He just can't separate that connection and his own attachment. Maybe that's reaching and obviously there's more to it, but I dunno guys, I dunno!!

YOU CAN LOVE EVERYONE SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT PEOPLE CAN AND WILL LEAVE OF THEIR OWN VOLITION!!

AND HE CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW THAT LOVE GETS POURED OUT IN HIS LIFE. CAL'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS LITERALLY LOYALTY AND QUALITY TIME AND THE FIGHT.

Again, there's a part of Cal that just never got to stand beside his master like the Padawans of the Republic Era got to and ask all their questions or be scolded like the way Ahsoka did about being too attached to her Master. She had to dig deep and understand what that meant, how to acknowledge it, and how to let it go. Cal has Cere but maybe she just assumed? Who knows. Cal obviously struggled with it more than anyone realized. No discredit to Cere, I just don't think it ever really crossed her mind. Or, you know, Cal's stupid stubborn especially with Cere. Maybe he just ignored her in classic Cal fashion.

All that stemmed from this:

The romance aspect.

He knows taking a romantic step forward is a risk in general. And yes there's all that subconscious hesitation because he's a Jedi. But there's a bigger problem at play with Merrin.

I have to wonder if he did in fact know how she felt about him before she left. And if he did, it's just so much worse.

To him, all this buildup of love and trust. Down the refresher the day she left. So I wonder, maybe a lot of his hesitation isn't about him accepting his feelings. Maybe he gets it. He just struggles with letting someone in again who, in his mind, so easily let him go. He now has to come to terms that he wants to ask her to stay. He has to acknowledge in his mind that he wants her enough to be ok with letting her back in, knowing she's her own person and there's a chance she has to go do her thing someday and he might just have to let her, and that would be ok.

Romance aside, he has to go through that the whole game. Letting the Mantis crew in again. Working things out with everyone, hearing them out, seeing them in their element and finally being at peace with the split - knowing they all made the right decision even if it hurt.

So all the parallels worry me, because yes, he may be more self aware. He might've learned a few lessons, might be more at peace with a few decisions, but the way he just stands in shock at the funeral pyres is just worrisome because you know he's internalizing things. Right when he feels like he's making a step forward, he's taking steps back. The darkness is there now too, and he's going to struggle, because he has more to protect.

This whole experience in survivor was such a crucial point in it but at the same time we know, it's also simultaneously reinforcing his fear of further abandonment and more trust issues, and also his fears of the dark side so I'm kind of nervous to see. Where is all of this culminates to in the next game because he's learned for sure but I also feel like some other things maybe got reinforce that shouldn't have.

Right when he was learning to move on from his attachment to the Fight, he has a new thing, rebuilding Cere's legacy and keeping Tanalorr safe. It's almost like he's doubled up on all of it. Maybe he'll learn to be at peace and let things go but for now, sweet baby boy's trust issues are off the charts!!!!

Anyway maybe none of that made sense and you don't have to agree these are just thoughts after all! Take care!

#cal kestis #sw meta #star wars meta #jedi survivor #jedi survivor spoilers #cere junda #greez dritus #merrin #merrical #madi talks

[raidbossmadi]

I swear I have thoughts that aren't just HEEE HOOOOO IAN MALCOLM but yeah I don't know what those other thoughts are either

#Madi talks #jurassic park #LISTEN #LISTEN I SAW THE NEW MTG CARDS AND MY BRAIN LEFT

[p00sy-d3stro7er]

I actually thought that my previous text post would be the last one but I found these in the depths of my gallery so. Enjoy your meal *throws them like chicken feed*

#black sails #black sails text post #captain flint #john silver #james mcgraw #thomas hamilton #anne bonny #max black sails #charles vane #edward teach #jack rackham #silverflint #jackanne #maxanne #im convinced that blackbeard is talking about Jack since he would never talk like that about vane #IM SO MAD I HAVENT MADE ANY WITH MADI BUT I COULDNT FIND ANY QUOTE THAT WOULD FIT HER #AND IT LOWKEY LOOKS LIKE IM IGNORING HER ON PURPOSE WHICH ISNT TRUE!! #SHE IS MY 2ND FAV CHARACTER AND I LOVE HER VERY MUCH #anyway. Thank you sm for all the nice reposts under my previous posts they literally make me giggle and kick my feet

[renlyslittlerose]

One of the things I love about writing from Obi-Wan’s POV is that outwardly he’s very respectable and calm about his obsession with Anakin, seemingly quite composed about his feelings for ‘the boy.’

But inwardly he’s like “I love his laugh and the curve of his lips when he smiles, the blush to his cheeks upon copper-toned skin; I love his teeth and the flash of canines, sharp and brilliant in the dark as he stretches beneath; I love the little dimples on his lower back, the length of his neck and the bones of his ankles; I love the smell of him, musky and rich and thick in my throat; I want to wear his sweat as a beard oil, want to taste his come on the back of my tongue and feel the ghost of his touch on my throat whenever I swallow; I crave his presence when he is not near and go mad when he’s not touching me, his heat isn’t on me, near me, above and below; I want to bask beneath his gaze like a supplicant begging at the feet of a playful, youthful god, asking for his attention, his adoration, his devotion and dedication; he is my everything, and I can only hope he feels the same as I do.”

But outwardly, when asked, he simply says: “I’m quite fond of him.”

#obikin #talking to Madi about this but I love how unhinged Obi-Wan is about Anakin #even though he rarely shows it

[dlsintegration]

What he wants. What he needs. What he fears. The depths of it. They are profound and dark. I serve the crew best by tempering him. Steering him where he's needed. Ive descended into those depths and connected with him so that i might be able to do so. but im acutely aware that i am not the first to have been there. To have been a partner to him in this way. And that the ones who have seen these depths before, they never surfaced again.

#back where im from . gay people just fuck btw. #i cant even talk about madi's answer i feel profoundly ill in ways i never have before #black sails #lea

[toastywindow]

"I have one regret. I regret ever coming to this place with the assumption that a reconciliation could be found. That reason, could be a bridge between us. Everyone is a monster to someone. Since you are so convinced that I am yours, I will be it."

this is an excerpt from the song NYMPHOLOGY by Melanie Martinez. oof, this took too long cause I was busy with other stuff at hand. this should've been in right after another certain pirate show ended and left me hanging for days... heck, WEEKS!! i rewatched this show (highly recommend btw) and wanted to do this to show my appreciation of how good it is! at least this is done! a little treat before the holidays

#video #andre talks #black sails #black sails spoilers #james flint #hal gates #eleanor guthrie #madi scott #billy bones #john silver #charles vane #edward teach #anne bonny #jack rackham #calico jack #long john silver #what else do you tag for black sails kjdhfjkg #black sails fanart #if you find this congrats ig fjhgjfkg #the tagging system for this fandom is kinda hard #how do i reach the people of this fandom djkdkjf #melanie martinez #nymphology

[skynapple]

My Dad immediately after watching Dune Part 2: I never thought they could make Timothée Chalamet masculine but here I stand corrected

#I DIED HAHAHA #HE WAS REALLY MASCULINE AND SEXY THIS MOVIE OK #i know people who have known him IRL and I know he's prissy and arrogant and annoying irl but like #HE'S PRETTY OK #timothée chalamet #dune part 2 #dune #paul atreides #madi talks

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

Look at all my trials and tribulations

Sinking in a gentle pool of wine

Don't disturb me now I can see the answers

Till this evening is this morning life is fine

Always hoped that I'd be an apostle

Knew that I would make it if I tried

Then when we retire we can write the gospels

So they'll still talk about us when we've died

-jesus christ superstar

#black sails #jesus christ superstar #jcs #john silver #james flint #bs max #jack rackham #edward teach #billy bones #bs madi #bs muldoon #charles vane #ok listen #so in my defense #it had to be done #specifically for the muldoon one #and re the last one i am not saying that flint died i am merely strongly implying it and more imortantly #he is literally talking about the stories that people will tell about them when theyre gone/dead So #mine #tw drowning #tw hanging #tw noose #tw death

[raidbossmadi]

I love that I simped so hard for Ian Malcolm like a week ago that one of my new followers was concerned. Like yes hello this is THE Ian Malcolm Simp tumblr.

#Madi talks #im just autistic #and Ian Malcolm is my special interest

[lvrsparadise]

I love being attracted to both men and women.

#l talks! #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #madi filipowicz #sab quesada #LIKE #COME ON NOW #THEY'RE SO HOT

[howlerbat]

I’m told you removed the one who governed the pirates before you. […] Amongst pirates loyalty changes quickly it seems. If a man can be replaced so easily how can I know that his promises won’t be too?

#it came to me in a dream #black sails #john silver #billy bones #madi scott #sorry about the quality of text #black sails gifs #i think it’s funny when silver has to talk to julius and he’s all like #i LITERALLY just lost a friend can you be nice??

[fornedre]

debating re - doing my spotify so like my banger playlists while u can

#talking abt U madi

[okmcintyre]

The 100 Kru + those six years apart

#the 100 #bellamy blake #emori kom spacekru #raven reyes #madi griffin #nathan miller #octavia blake #john murphy #clarke griffin #indra kom trikru #⏳ the gangs all here #2199 days #6 years 7 days #they talked about it sm yet not at all #the100edit #t100kt #multi ep #our poor Delinquents Co need a break

[narcissusbrokenmirror]

i love watching jatp interviews. Especially when the interviewer asks abt juke becoming an actual couple and Madison, Charlie and Kenny always explain how Luke and Julie's feelings for each other get to be explored through friendship instead of jumping right into a relationship.

For Luke and Julie being both aware of their feelings and choosing to be stay right where they are and becoming the best of friends, because they want more of each other, they want to be a place of comfort for each other and grow as people. All of it, without the overwhelming pressure of being a couple and changing the dynamics in their band/family, or having that "but this can't last forever" feeling always hovering over them, all the complications with Luke being a ghost and Julie being a lifer, bc they don't know how to fix this. That would eventually tear them apart from the other.

Instead, Julie can deal with her feelings in a comfortable zone where she can take her time and focus on their plans as a band and bond as friends, the same goes for Luke, clearly he likes Julies and knows there's something between them, even with his emotional intelligence of a peanut, he understands that seeking a relationship is not worth it especially when what they already have as friends is so special and important to each of them. They don't need to be dating to do anything for the other, they don't need to be dating to be able to trust each other and have a deep unique connection.

#julie and the phantoms #luke patterson #julie molina #kenny ortega was onto something there i love him for it #juke #its lovely for me how when talking abt romance in the show. the cast goes “oh willex. look at these lovebirds. we clearly need more” #but when its juke everyone goes quiet and let madi and charlie explain their friends to lovers dynamic construction