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#mads posts
megamindsupremacy · 6 months
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Funniest thing in the whole wide world is opening a completed fic and seeing the author’s note for the first chapter say something like “unlike my other fics, this will be a shorter one! Expect it to be complete within three months or so” and then you look at the stats and the fic is 100k+ words and took two years to finish
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Watching Home Alone is so funny it’s like
Kevin’s mom: *hyperventilating into a paper bag* I can’t believe I left my son home alone, he has to be so terrified, my poor baby boy all alone I need to go get him-
Kevin: *actively planning to commit war crimes*
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ju5t4h0tp3r50nl0l · 1 month
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Here's Peepaw giving you an advice
I needed that, truly.
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feedingthesimps · 5 months
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Behind the scenes of Hannibal Mads Mikkelsen’s birthday
Hugh is the background tho 😂
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shegatsby · 8 months
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Not sure exactly what you’re okay/not okay with as far as requests go, but I’d like to request a Hannibal x AFAB reader (or gn if you prefer) where the reader has a crush on Hannibal and discovers that he’s a serial killer and tells him she’s more attracted to him because of it. I’d prefer it ends up in the bedroom (wink wink) but it’s up to you :)
A/N; Hello love, thank you for this request I certainly enjoyed writing it. Enjoy!
Warnings; Hannibal killing a man, a little smut
First time you saw him was something else. You almost became a victim of a serial killer but thankfully a team of FBI agents and Dr. Hannibal Lecter saved you. Turns out this killer was on the loose for months and you dropping your phone in his car made them catch him, you were forever grateful. Dr. Lecter was a psychiatrist who was helping the FBI with their serial killer cases and he was also collecting data for a research of serial killers and he offered free therapy sessions in exchange of information. Seemed like a good deal.
It had been few months since you started the therapy and it was going smoothly for him but for you, you had to keep pressing your thighs together every time he played with his pen or grabbed something. Over the weeks you saw and observed tiny changes in his behavior. He started to loose his tie around his neck, rolled up his sleeves, gave your lingering looks. You also had minor changes, such as; wearing clothes that fit your body perfectly and showing your womanly figure, curves and all. You knew that revealing clothes won’t make him come to you so you started to dress elegantly, just like him.
One time you mentioned how much you like baking and he asked you to bake something for him and you did.   The next week you brought chocolate chipped cookies and he opened a bottle of wine.
He surprised you by having a cabinet in his office dedicated to all kinds of wine and you surprised him by fulfilling your promise of baking something for him. Hannibal Lecter never relied on anyone ever since he was a child, he never believed promises of people, even the ones he who are close to him because life thought him that people are deceitful animals. However, you managed to surprise him, it felt like a date but neither of you said anything about it.
Weeks went by and you kept surprising him with small things. One day, you baked a cake, it was the anniversary of you meeting him. You went to his office without telling him, it was suppose to be a surprise. Before you knocked on the door you heard some noises, a man coughing and things falling to the ground so you quickly opened the door to see the scenario.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter was on top of a man who was equally tall and strong as him and Hannibal’s big hands wrapped around that man’s throat, you halted in your steps. Your hands which were holding the container of the cake were shaking, your fight or flight response was triggered. You didn’t know what to do, in that moment you could feel everything and see, hear everything that was happening such as your soaked panties sticking to your core. You could feel your cheeks heat up, your heartbeat rising, Dr. Hannibal Lecter was murdering someone right in front of you and all you could think about or fantasies about how would you feel if his hands were wrapped around you, on his table..
When the man stopped breathing and struggling Hannibal bolted to his feet and turned to face you. His maroon eyes were startled at first but you could see his dilated pupils roaming on your body.
He didn’t  say anything, his chest heaving up and down, he closed the door and locked it, he came to you and held your shaking hands, put the container aside, ‘’Shh, I’m here, calm down.’’ Now that he was close you could see the bruises on his face, dry blood on his plump lips, blackened left eye, scratches here and there. His fingers went to put a strand of hair behind your ear, even under this strange circumstances, his eyes were soft as they addressed you.
He guided you to the couch. He sat next to you, his eyes never leaving yours. ‘’Now,’’ he breathed, ‘’What shall I do with you, little dove?’’
You didn’t respond, you were a deer caught in the lights. ‘’He attacked me, you saw what happened. I was defending myself.’’ He was so calm a sudden thought crossed your mind;
‘’This isn’t his first time.’’
Your body shivered, you knew what he wanted. He wanted you to tell Jack Crawford and others what you saw but an altered version of it, all you could do was to nod and let things happen.
It had been few weeks since that incident and you avoided your sessions with him. You made up excuses, one week you pretended like you had the cold, the other week you said you were out of town etc.
Every week he sent you a present, the week you were supposedly cold he sent you soup and warm bread, it was handmade. There was also a note; ‘’Get well soon, dove.’’
Your knees went weak with that note and gesture, the other week he sent you flowers, elegant and pure white bouquet of peony. Last week you’ve made up a lame excuse of not being in the mood and he called you on the phone.
‘’Hello Dr. Lecter?’’ you answered in a calm manner, ‘’Hello dove, I was wondering-‘’ he paused for a second ‘’why are you avoiding me. Well, I know the reason but I want to hear it from you.’’ You felt your heart go faster, subconsciously your thighs were pressing hard, ‘’It is best that I don’t join the sessions anymore Dr. Lecter.’’ You said out of breath, hearing his voice after a long time did something to you. He let out a devastatingly long sigh, you felt it in your core. ‘’I was hoping it doesn’t come to this.’’ He sounded tired and defeated.
You imagined him sitting in his office, sleeves rolled up, playing with his pen while talking to you. You wanted to rush to his aid, he was a busy man with a hectic schedule, you wanted to give him something to come home to. The thought of it made you get wet.
‘’Thank you for testifying on my behalf.’’ He sounded genuine.
At first he thought you would tell the truth but when you told everyone exactly what he told you he was impressed. There was something about you that he couldn’t put his finger on. He sometimes had this urge to pull your brain out and study it because you fascinated him profoundly, but then the thought of physically hurting you made him feel disgusted, which was rare in his case.
‘’You saved me,’’ you said remembering the night, he was the one who wrapped you in a blanket and carried you to the ambulance, he was the one who sat and waited by your side in the hospital.
‘’and I saved you, the debt is paid.’’ Your free hand slowly went to the waistband of your pjs, sid in and found your aching core, he cannot possibly realize can he?
‘’My little dove, hearing you say this breaks my heart, your life is not a burden.’’ He knew how you feel about yourself, a freak, a burden..
You loved the way he said ‘’dove’’ his accent thick, you wondered what else is thick about him. You wanted him to keep talking to you.
‘’Where are you right now? And be honest.’’ His tone had a warning, such dominance.. ‘’H- home.’’
Hannibal wasn’t a stupid man, he admired your boldness, talking to your therapist while touching yourself.
‘’Good girl.’’ He loved your honesty, maybe you were the only person who was honest to him from the start ‘’What are you doing?’’ he asked, even though he knew it.
Your panties were soaked, ‘’Laying on my couch.’’ You managed to say, his hand went to stroke his clothed member, he swallowed, ‘’I was asking as in.. action wise.’’ He teased. You were rubbing your wet cunt slowly, you let out a sigh. A pornographic one to be exact. ‘’Nothing-‘’
He didn’t let you continue, ‘’Tell me, do you always dream  of me when you touch yourself? His question shocked you, at first you thought you heard him wrong, but the silence continued. Cat was out of the bag, he caught you. ‘’Yes.’’ You said. Hannibal could feel himself getting harder. He stood up, locked his office door, you heard it. He sat back and unzipped his pants, he never thought he would be doing this in his office, well, he also never thought he would kill someone in his office but here we were.
‘’What are you wearing?’’ he asked, feeling like a school boy but it excited him. ‘’Nothing.’’
It was right, the second you heard him lock the door you took off your clothes, ‘’Clever girl. I assume you’re dripping wet, I have neglected you for so long, keep touching yourself.’’
Hannibal leaned back, stroking himself, his tip leaking, ‘’How do you dream of me?’’
One hand in your core the other touching your boob –he was on speakers- you spoke, ‘’Sometimes on the table, sometimes on the couch or in your bed. Pushing me down and taking me..’’
You remembered the scene, he was on the ground on top of a man and choking him. It made you moan. Your soft whimpers and divine voice made him stroke himself faster, ‘’Put two fingers inside sweet thing.’’
You could feel the shift in his voice. You moaned louder than before as you inserted your fingers, you were so wet he could hear it clearly. ‘’Every time I come from your office I touch myself.’’ You confessed, which made him growl, he was regretting that he didn’t take you before. He knew that you were interested in him from the beginning, he thought it was because you were in shock –due to your unique condition which is almost being murdered- and you were seeking shelter. He assumed over the weeks your fascination with him would disappear but he was wrong.
He was about to lose his mind because of the sounds you were making ‘’Stop!’’ he ordered and you followed. ‘’Wait for me.’’ And he hung up.
Never in a million years he would think of sleeping with a patient but you changed his mind, he got into his car and drove.
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bananibal · 3 months
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madsselfships · 9 months
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Your f/o loves hearing you talk. They don't find you annoying. They love the sound of your voice. They listen intently to you with a soft smile on their face. <3
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sillylittleg00ber · 10 months
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who gave peepaw the right to look so slutty doing the bare minimum
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maddestmads · 10 months
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okay fuck it ‼️ glimmadora appreciation post ‼️
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osbcrne · 25 days
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Inspired by posts i saw on twt… merry easter or whatever from everyone’s favorite middle aged man, duncan vizla
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tourettesbabe · 3 months
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Tic in public!!! Tic loudly!!! Tic expressively!!! Take up space!!! Scream at the top of your fucking lungs!!! Be free!!!
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megamindsupremacy · 10 months
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I love how we all pretend Gwen was the cool suave one in ITSV as if she didn’t introduce herself as “GwaaaaaaaGwanda. My names gwanda. It’s African.” [realizes she is the whitest person to ever white] “I’m South African! I’m from. South Africa. Haha lol.” and then proceeds to lie so horribly that the only reason Miles didn’t catch onto her shit is because he was preoccupied with grabbing her shoulder in the world’s least smooth flirting move and then ripping her hair out
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Honestly where would we be as a society without the "if I had a nickel for every time [x] happened, I would have two nickles. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice" meme. Perfect meme to express confusion that something happened two whole times which is not a LARGE number of times, usually, but for this specific thing that is a lot of times. We owe Doofenshmirtz everything
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ju5t4h0tp3r50nl0l · 1 month
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Look at me in the eyes and tell me that he doesn't have dads' vibes🫶🏼
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feedingthesimps · 5 months
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Happy birthday mads/ November 22 1965
Some of my fav pics of him <3
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daemonwhitedove · 3 months
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𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐁𝐀𝐋 𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑. 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑢𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟.
Made by Xanthos.
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