#magnoliadarling | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

magnoliadarling · 5 months

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Pt.2

#mine #magnolia #selfie #magnoliadarling #magnoliadarling.tumblr.com #pretty in pink #pretty woman #pretty girls #pink aesthetic #eyes #photography #good lighting #lighting #curvy and cute #red hair

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w-umbrella-hole · 4 years

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I was standing in the kitchen and Moosh came, flying, through the kitchen, wild eyed and scattered. Normally, when it rained really hard or thunderstormed, she would hide and not come out for three days.

Since moving into our home at Keith road, she had started trying to run outside when it was raining really hard and I still am not sure why. One thing I was certain of, in this moment watching my scared kitty unable to feel safe, I needed to comfort her.

So, I cooed her towards me and scooped her up in my arms, heading towards the bedroom, what was our safe place. I was trying to be more sensitive to her needs, to be more aware of how to fulfill this creature that I’m so blessed to be able to call mine. You, taught me this better than anyone. I watched you do it with Loafies. I wanted Moosh to know I cared about her in the same way I watched you care for Loaf.

Instead of just placing her in the room, I watched her when I sat her down. She immediately ran under the bed. I figured she must be frustrated, not understanding why she was upset, and sometimes when I don’t know why I’m upset, I know I want to take my grr out on something. So, I grabbed the kitty wand and I started to focus her attention towards something. She immediately responded and, boy, did she have some aggression she was ready to take out on the play prey at the end of the string.

After some time of letting her aggression run it’s course, I turned the wand over (something else I had learned from you, specifically for Moosh) and started to play with her in a way that was specific to how she likes to be played with. I tapped each ear, back and forth, tapped her sides, and her paws, annoying her enough that it coaxed her to come out from underneath the bed.

I decided we were in full play now, so I put on a costume set of larger than life elephant ears I had bought that day and set up some toys on the floor. A kaleidoscope, a wooden toy where it has ribbon on it (fidgeting toy), and the best was the monkey in the box, you know the one where you wind it up, and eventually it pops up out, even though you know it’s coming, scaring you.

I wanted to see, at this point, how comfortable I could get Moosh. So, I grabbed some Temptations treats (also learned how much kitties loves those because of you), and boy did she go wild. I was even able to get her to do that cuter than shit trick where she goes up on her hind legs and hovers to get the treat out of my hands.

Now, Moosh is more about food than cat nip, but will indulge herself in the kitty nip if it’s the right place and right time, and she’s not hungry. So, feeling her energy out, I grabbed the kitty nip and spread a pile on the floor for her. It wasn’t long before she was diving head first, rolling all her Mooshiness all over the ground, cooing, bawing, and making the sweetest noises only she makes.

So, that’s when I started to have my own personal fun and wind up the monkey in the box. She seemed so curious as to the tune coming out of it, well, curiosity does kill the cat, I was almost crying when the monkey popped out and she wasn’t scared, just so shocked. She turned around and ignored me, being like fuck this shit, fuck this shit.

I knew she was back to feeling like herself. I knew I had been a good mama. She crawled her way back to me, sprawled out on the floor, and got close enough to be with me, but kept her distance, as she does. I started to get sleepy with myself, as playing with kitties, is exhausting. I began to nod in and out, feeling so contented at just having mamabeared my kitten back to a feeling of safety, which made me feel good and safe myself.

I remember feeling so grateful for Moosh coming to get me when she needed me, as she is a reflection most often of my own inner emotions, and I did not feel safe. And that’s why I adore this kitten, y’all. She keeps me safe. I was dozing off, ears still on my head, hearing the party that I didn’t really want to be at my house still thumping below my floor, but I didn’t care, I just wished that maybe You would walk upstairs and see what a good job i did, maybe you would have wanted to play too.

And what did you do?

You opened up the door, and I heared you say (for the first time in weeks, with a voice that only you can use with me when you see me as innocent or when you feel compassion for me, when you acted like daddy). You kind of giggle gasped, and said, “Awh I want to play.”

It made me so filled with joy, everything about it.

But don’t you see what you’ve done now?

We can’t play anymore.

Because you play too much. You play too rough. You play to hurt.

All I ever wanted was for someone to play with me, bc, you are right, I’m like a kitty and I need to be played with. And I’ll tell you this, I’m the best damned little kitty, little girl, you could have spent forever playing with.

But you couldn’t keep me safe from ... you.

And that’s the saddest part.

And the scariest one thus far.

The last time we “played” I almost died and you can’t see that. I don’t know why you can’t see when you play too rough, when you hurt me, when you’re hurting me for hours, why you can’t see that choking someone, strangulating someone is not playing.

Our games stopped being fun the moment I was afraid I wouldn’t live if I couldn’t get away from you.

And I hate you for it. I hate you so much for it. We could have had so much fun. A lifetime of play. But why you didn’t want that, why you didn’t want me, why you preferred to hurt me over play, I don’t know if I’ll ever understand.

But you should know, you are a bad, scary man. And you took away my physical home, my idea of home, my feelings of safety, of security, you took away my safe place.

So for now, this blog will be that. A catch all for whatever I need it to be. Whether it’s to miss you, hate you, grieve for you, whatever. It will live here. And that’s okay.

It doesn’t mean things can change or that you can change. It just means that this place can be whatever I need it to be and I can still know that because of your actions, we will never be together.

This will be unedited, the coming undone of us, the coming undone of me.

I will be better for this at the end of the tunnel. I promise you I will make something beautiful out of the darkness you created. I Sydnee Promise.

#w-umbrella-hole #magnoliadarling #break up #healing #purge #sociopaths #lovers #love #little #girl #playtime #kitty

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cravingwitandwisdom · 6 years

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Tagged by @sarasong

Rules: put your music on shuffle and write down the 10 first songs that come up. Tag 20 people.

Eavesdrop - The Civil Wars

National Anthem - Lana del Rey

Stained - Selena Gomez

Xanax - Elohim

Play Date - Melanie Martinez

If I’m In Love - Frank Ocean

I Walk the Line - Halsey

Water Under the Bridge - Adele

Someone New - Hozier

Light Me Up - Birdy

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I tag: @louontheshore @sevsthoughts @sugarforthe-pill @magnoliadarling @gracebabcockwrites @marleyworld88 @the-spectrum-memories @bellaroxxy13 @iammoiselle @imawar @novitiate2017 @cinnaluna @jesseisinsane

Hope you guys have just as much of fun doing this as I had! ♡♡

#tag game #personal

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magnoliadarling · 2 years

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#mine #magnolia #selfie #magnoliadarling #magnoliadarling.tumblr.com #mine magnolia #questions #words #girl #love #boyfriend #nostalgia #magnoliadarling 2018 writing #selfies #nostalgic #black #self love #black and white #tiktok

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magnoliadarling · 2 years

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#mine #magnolia #selfie #magnoliadarling #magnoliadarling.tumblr.com #mine magnolia #questions #words #girl #love #boyfriend #nostalgia #magnoliadarling 2018 writing #selfies #nostalgic #black #self love #black and white #tiktok

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magnoliadarling · 2 years

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magnoliadarling · 5 months

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The light was soooo good.

Pt.1

#mine #magnolia #selfie #magnoliadarling #magnoliadarling.tumblr.com #curvy and cute #tattoo #pink aesthetic #lighting #photohraphy #good lighting #pretty

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magnoliadarling · 3 years

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My new tattoo. I’m finally even!

#mine #magnolia #selfie #magnoliadarling #magnoliadarling.tumblr.com #mine magnolia #questions #words #girl #love #new tattoo #tattoo #peonytattoo #peony #magnoliatattoo

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magnoliadarling · 3 years

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Photo dump

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magnoliadarling · 3 years

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So, finally got back into a studio today for the first time since COVID and since having surgery about a month ago and, boy-oh-boy, does it feel awesome. I’m definitely still healing and I’m kind of having to remember how to use my core, but it felt so good to move my body.

Not to mention, it’s been (and I do mean this literally) years since I’ve choreographed anything.

Stay tuned for more next week!

PS. I do not own the rights to this song. It is Therefore I am by Billie Eilish (plz don’t take it out of my video!)

#mine #magnolia #selfie #magnoliadarling #magnoliadarling.tumblr.com #mine magnolia #questions #words #girl #love #dance therapy #dancelove #dance #billie eilish #therefore i am #choreography #back at it again #studio #dance life

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magnoliadarling · 3 years

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So, using lights is something I’ve wanted to play around with for a while in my paintings. And after some trial&error, this is the first attempt at using lights in my art. I have no idea where this will take me, but I’m just gonna let the lights lead the way.

#mine #magnolia #selfie #magnoliadarling #magnoliadarling.tumblr.com #mine magnolia #questions #words #girl #love #art #abstract art #lights in art #led art #abstract painting #lights #led lights #lead

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magnoliadarling · 3 years

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Green green green with a dash of pink.

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magnoliadarling · 3 years

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I’ll light up your world, if you let me.

#mine #magnolia #selfie #magnoliadarling #magnoliadarling.tumblr.com #mine magnolia #questions #words #girl #love #black light aesthetic #good hair day #neon hair #reactive

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