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#magnus bane meta
carelessflower · 4 months
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how much power is in the ring magnus give alec?
first, a little revisit to trsom
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it's shown from scenes like this in the books that despite having the power to bring forward incapable feats or destruction, magnus doesn't want to use it, like at all. we get brief instances in the past where he used it and how much it affected him (killing his stepfather, creating earthquakes when he was upset). the status quo is set, magnus lightwood-bane and his immensely frightening, possibly corruptive magic will never accept each other's friend request again.
but then, there's this scene
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the kind of power comes from the very heart of hell. we know warlocks are offsprings of demons, so it's safe to assume their heritage will somewhat show its influence in their magic. but this isn't your garden variety charm. from what the seelie girl trying to convey here, the ring literally reeks of magic from the deepest, most unpredictable and intimidating part of existence.
does alec know he's carrying a piece of magnus too-dangerous-to-not-be-unsealed-magic around him every day? and that there's no end magnus wouldn't go to, even if it's the part of himself he's terrified of, to keep alec safe?
@magnus-the-maqnificent @dustandducks @pocketoffeels
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thelostgirl21 · 1 year
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I think one of the reasons why I absolutely adore Magnus and Alec's first time together is because, as Magnus once said, Alec is just so... innocent.
I know that fans are often equating him sort of pouncing on Magnus to passionately kiss him (as soon as he learned they had the apartment to themselves), and later eagerly pushing him towards the bedroom while starting to unbutton his shirt, as him being anything but "innocent".
But, to me, having the confidence to express his desires, going after what he wants, and taking charge of a situation - even one filled with some unknowns - is not something indicating a lack of innocence on Alec's part.
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Part of it likely comes from his own temperament. Like Izzy said, he has a tendency to overthink things.
He can make brash and impulsive decisions, at times, in an effort to quickly fix issues causing him a great deal of emotional distress, true. But otherwise, he usually tries to look at a situation through as many angles as he can, collect data from a number of different sources, ask for other people's input, etc., before reaching a conclusion.
Once he does commit to a given course of action, however, he fully commits!
Not blindly (i.e. the feedback he receives from his environment will make him change course if he notices something's wrong and he's no longer sure that he's doing the right thing), but with an impressive amount of drive, willpower, and determination.
What makes him such a formidable leader, IMHO, is that he's got the strength of his convictions, while said convictions remain flexible and adaptable in light of any newly acquired information.
Whenever he realizes he's made a mistake, he's able to own it, figure out / explain why he made that mistake, learn from it, and work on solutions to prevent making those same mistakes again.
And it is a really, really good thing. Because, driven as he is, if he was remotely dogmatic in his beliefs or unable to cope with the idea of being wrong, he'd truly be dangerous - crushing anything and anyone in his path to reach his objectives.
But the point is that Alec is someone that typically tries to measure the potential impact of his actions before he reaches a decision.
And, since all of his concerns have been dealt with before - during the "overthinking phase" - there's often no longer any need for him to hesitate or hold back while acting on it.
In this very instance, it was rather clear that becoming sexually intimate with Magnus was something that he'd had the chance to think long and hard (no pun intended) about.
Since - given he'd already been with approximately 17 000 lovers before - the likeliness of Magnus being comfortable having sex with him was rather high.
From Alec's P.O.V., I'm guessing that the only one "reasonably holding them back" from being sexually intimate with each other, technically, was Alec himself.
I have a feeling that he already knew that, deep down, he felt ready to have sex with Magnus when he went to ask Izzy for advice.
He just needed to be sure that his lack of experience wasn't making him overlook any important variables before fully "going for it".
For example: Is there anything that Izzy wished she'd have known before she had sex for the first time that she didn't? Anything specific he should be made aware of? Anything he (or Magnus) could regret?
And she basically lets him know that - since Magnus and him genuinely care about each other - it's going to be fine.
If the thought of having sex with Magnus is something that Alec wants, if it makes him happy, then the best thing for him to do is to stop worrying!
She's making it rather clear that her own experience with sexual intimacy is - thankfully - not something she regrets, and there's no reason why Alec might regret it, either.
If it is something that he does yearn for, and since he's with someone that genuinely cares about his well-being and safety, then the only thing that might ruin this for Alec is Alec himself worrying about what could go wrong.
So, Alec pouncing on Magnus - going right after what he wants and what makes him happy with pure abandon once he's sure of his decision - to me, is extremely typical of the way Alec behaves in general.
But, most importantly, I see it as a sign of complete trust in his partner.
He's comfortable enough initiating the physical intimacy and openly expressing what he wants, regardless of his own inexperience, because he trusts Magnus to guide him through the process.
As it turns out, however, Alec had overlooked some variables - namely Magnus' own fears and insecurities. And this is where Alec displays traits that really show how innocent he is, too.
He sees Magnus as someone that loves him unconditionally, and that couldn't possibly seek to hurt or take advantage of him.
Alec is in love with him, he feels loved by him, and he's got no tangible awareness, apparently, that there is a significant power imbalance between them that Magnus (thankfully) remains very aware and respectfully mindful of.
I say "thankfully", because the fact that Magnus worries about taking advantage of any situation with Alec is a good sign that Alec's trust in him isn't being misplaced.
I believe that Magnus is fully aware that, his whole life, Alec has been conditioned to meet the expectations of those he loves and depends on to feel safe.
And, while they eventually did see the errors of their ways, his parents did use how they expressed or withheld love and approval towards their children as motivational tools to get them to act certain ways, and make certain choices.
Alec was even willing to go as far as marry Lydia because he felt responsible for fixing his parent's mistakes and restoring his family's honor.
He has a tendency to readily sacrifice his own wants and needs for those he loves - to put himself second.
And Magnus knows that he's always been very honest with him regarding his past sex life history.
From appreciative "name dropping" (Michelangelo was "excellent in bed", Casanova was "brazen"...) to him having been with "men, women, seelies, warlocks, vampires... a djin or two" (about 17 000 of them!), he's made it rather clear that sex is something he enjoys indulging in every now and then.
So, it wouldn't be far fetched for Magnus to worry that Alec would have interpreted his openness about sex in general as being something that he would absolutely need to have in a relationship in order to continue being interested in his partner.
It makes sense that Magnus would be concerned that he may have unwittingly offered Alec the impression that, if he took too long before being able to "give him what he needs" to be happy or feel fulfilled in their relationship, then he might decide that being with a 20-something inexperienced virgin Shadowhunter wasn't worth it, and/or go seek "his pleasure" elsewhere.
I mean, from what I understand, Magnus himself has often been made to feel like what he had to offer was either too much, or not enough, too. He even apologetically told Alec in the beginning of their relationship "I know I'm a lot to get used to".
So, his own ability to clearly express where he stands and what he wants or needs - and have his partner understand it - has been something that he's been made to feel very insecure about.
And the last thing he wishes to do, I believe, is hurt Alec or take advantage of him; to have Alec feel like he should be sexually active with him based on any wrongly interpreted signal that Magnus might have been unwittingly sending him simply by being open and honest about his past.
And if you do force yourself to have sex with someone without truly wanting it - for fear that you might be losing them if you don't - there's a very high likeliness of your own body responding to the sexual act as some form of aggression.
Sadly, once your brain starts making associations between the feeling that some of your personal boundaries having been violated and the person you were with when that feeling occurred, you may instinctively start withdrawing from them and be uncomfortable being generally intimate with them.
So, Magnus being instinctively cautious, and refusing to immediately take Alec's eagerness to be sexually intimate with him at face value makes sense and is extremely reassuring in its own way.
Alec also display some measure of innocence in the way he responds to Magnus attempt at slowing him down, too.
It goes from this sort of still somewhat eager open confusion where he's just verbally clarifying what he wants (Okay... I thought pouncing on your significant other once you've made sure the way is clear might convey "I want us to sleep together! Let's do this! I'm ready!"... Did I miss something? Damnit, Izzy, I swear if I learn there's some sort of mating ritual you're supposed to go through first, and you never thought to tell me, I'll be so pissed!)...
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...to extremely focused on Magnus when he starts expressing his own concerns with Alec's wish for them to become sexually intimate together so soon into the relationship.
Alec's not just listening to his words, but appears to be actively looking for clues in Magnus' gaze and in his behavior to help him figure out what's happening, and what he might have been missing in all of his prior "overthinking".
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While Alec doesn't seem to fully "get it" (apparently totally unaware that having sex with someone before you are fully ready might put a strain on a relationship, and/or just how easy it would be for someone to take advantage of the way Alec is so openly offering himself to them), he does appear to get that Magnus is scared that he is making the decision to please him, rather than because he truly wants to.
So, to me, having Alec clearly tell him "You have nothing to worry about, I want this", right before confidently pushing Magnus towards the bedroom while starting to unbutton his shirt, doesn't translate as a lack of innocence on his part, either.
I see it more as Alec's way of reassuring Magnus that he is genuinely ready for them to be sexually intimate together. It's him trying to make Magnus feel that he's doing this for himself, first and foremost.
It's Alec wordlessly saying "I may be inexperienced, but I don't see why being inexperienced should make me apprehensive about being sexually intimate with you. I trust you, I believe I'm making the right choice for myself, and I need you to trust me, too."
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Alec's innocence also shines through in the way he initiates making love with Magnus like someone that's never been hurt in love before.
In the way he doesn't seem to have any specific expectations besides sharing something that's supposedly wonderful and fun with Magnus.
His guards are completely down, and he's just this happy, giggling, fumbling mess feeling his way around and trying to figure out the steps as he goes...
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When Magnus teasingly remarks "that was graceful" (referring to how they both lost their balance several times while making their way to the bed - trying to remove pieces of clothing at the same time - to finally clumsily topple together on top of said bed), Alec gets in on the humor by happily replying "Shadowhunter" while gesturing to himself, then passionately dives right back in all the kissing and groping.
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It doesn't seem to occur to him - not even for a second - that some sexual partners have a tendency to take sex very "seriously", and are unable to keep their concentration when the other person is constantly giggling and laughing or even *gasp* joking.
He's not acting like he's scared of messing anything up by not knowing what he's doing, either.
He's not worried about the possibility of Magnus gossiping about having slept with a Shadowhunter, while mocking his lack of experience or "technique" with fellow Warlocks.
There isn't the slightest notion in his mind that any of this could be about Magnus' wishing to add a Shadowhunter on his already impressive list of "sexual conquests".
Until Magnus interrupts them again, there's not a single tiny bit of concern being expressed by Alec about his ability to "offer a good sexual performance", and/or "living up to his partner's expectations", either.
He's just this happy, carefree, loving partner having the time of his life, exploring something new and wonderful in his relationship with the man he loves - something that he never believed he could ever have for himself - and staying in the moment.
He's (rightly) assuming that, because Magnus saw him when it seemed no one else did, told him that being "different" was a good thing, has since been able to set up clear boundaries with him and hold him accountable in the relationship without targeting his ego, and has never tried to make him feel like he's not "good enough" for him, there's no reason why Magnus should expect him to offer anything other than himself.
There's no use for Alec to attempt to pretend he's this amazing lover when he's never been in the position of being a lover before, and Magnus has clearly told him that "he doesn't care how many people he hasn't been with" already.
Magnus makes Alec feel safe, unconditionally loved, supported, and gives him confidence.
Generally speaking, in virtually any context, he uses his own power and experience to empower Alec and help him reach his own potential, rather than seek to dominate him and make him feel small.
He's someone that Alec feels comfortable being emotionally and physically "naked" with.
I remember that the first time I heard and watched the way Alec proudly answered "Shadowhunter" - then immediately grabbed Magnus to kiss him some more (barely giving him any time to process the comment) - I was just totally overwhelmed with "feels"!
Alec is just so blissfully happy and adorably confident and way too pure for this world in this moment! And it's such a delight to watch Magnus positively respond to him and savor those moments with him.
Being innocent, in a sexual context, is not something that I personally see as turning 3 shades of red and starting to giggle nervously because someone said the word "penis" out loud, or freezing at the thought of seeing or touching a bit of skin.
I mean, seeing how comfortable Jace was with Alec walking in on him while he was in the middle of foreplay with a member of his "book club", I'm guessing that it's not the first time something like that has happened between them.
Alec himself appeared to be more irritated with Jace's blatant lack of shame or sense of interpersonal boundaries, rather than traumatized over what he saw was about to happen.
And then, there's Isabelle that, if I remembered correctly, complained about how she was constantly talking to Alec about her love/sex life, while he kept everything to himself.
So, there's no question that Alec knows what sex is, and likely sees sexual activity as something natural that is nothing to be ashamed of.
Being in his early twenties, you would sort of expect him to be surrounded by openly sexually active people and understand what's usually "going on" in a bedroom, not to mention having been given plenty of time to explore his own body.
Thus, what makes him innocent, in the context of a romantic and sexual relationship, to me, really is how he approaches lovemaking with such an open and trusting heart, while laughing, stumbling, trying to connect with his partner and focusing on them being happy together without any hint of concern or fear of being hurt in the process.
And Magnus offers Alec a safe space to be himself and fully enjoy the moment they are sharing by letting Alec set the pace and following his lead. He's stumbling, giggling, and allowing himself to be blissfully happy right alongside him, approaching the whole experience as something new and exciting.
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And it is. Each partner you share a bed with is unique, and you will need to find your own shared rhythm with them.
Magnus, however, could easily have ignored all of this and spontaneously taken the role of "the experienced mentor" that will teach the "newbie" everything he knows about sex, including the "best, most pleasurable way to do it"! But he didn't.
And if you're laughing at the statement I just gave, you'd be surprised with how many partners I've had, in my teenage and adult years, that approached sex as some sort of competitive sport, boasting at their own skills and experience, and immediately tried to "take you under their wing" to "teach you all of their trade secrets" as soon as they learned that they were the most experienced out of the two.
Thankfully, my very first experience was with a guy one year younger than myself, that had only had one sexual partner before me, and who was just the sweetest, most attentive partner any virgin could have asked for.
He made the whole experience be about me being comfortable with what was happening and about us being and figuring things out together; and that was exactly what I needed at the time. He never made me feel like there was any rush for us to get anywhere specific together.
Sadly, not everyone is as fortunate. Some experienced partners appear to care way more about showcasing their skills and being praised for "giving you a good time", rather than achieving any sense of partnership.
I really believe, however, that the most experienced partner's role should always be to put themselves at the least experienced partner's level at first, so that they can then build something together from there.
Perhaps the least experienced one will be delighted to have the most experienced partner "show off" what they can do and teach them new things!
But the point simply is that it should be a choice they make, and not something that's being imposed on them from the get go on the assumption that "my job is to show you a good time and teach you stuff".
Immediately taking charge without first confirming that this is something the other wants or needs is the best way to damage the least experienced partner's confidence, make them feel like what they have to offer you with their current level of skills and knowledge isn't enough, and make them become overly fearful of taking initiative and just experimenting with different things in the bedroom.
And this is true whether the person you are with is someone you care about, love, and wish to develop a relationship with, or someone you just met at a bar and may never see again in your life.
Even if the goal of the sexual encounter isn't to build a more in depth relationship, the moment you are spending together is an intimate act where you are supposed to be partners. It's a moment where you need to make sure that you both (or all, should you be more than two) get something out of it, and feel like you are contributing to what's happening.
I have friends involved in BDSM - some of them enjoying the occasional company of a complete stranger as they feel it adds something exciting to the experience.
Anyone with a healthy approach to BDSM would tell you how important it is for any dominant/submissive dynamic to be consensual and include limits that all partners have discussed and agreed upon.
There's nothing wrong with the more experienced partner taking the lead in any sexual context, but they always need to make sure that this is what the other(s) want. Trust and communication are key - including paying attention to the non-verbal.
Thankfully, in this context Magnus handles Alec's innocence and inexperience absolutely beautifully, and is more than willing to make the moment about Alec and about the two of them.
Actually, Magnus is so skilled at matching Alec's own rhythm and sharing the experience with him, that he instinctively finds himself letting his own barriers down.
Apparently, Alec makes love with such an open heart and soul - hiding no part of himself in the process - that Magnus can't maintain his own glamour to hide any part of himself from Alec, either.
And, just like that, the power dynamic is changed!
In the Shadow World, Shadowhunters consider themselves the superior race since they share blood with the angels.
They are warriors of light imbued with Heavenly powers that proudly display their runes for anyone (except Mundanes, obviously) to see!
But the Downworlders - that share blood with demons - are taught to hide their "shameful demonic heritage" and are expected to constantly fight against their "demonic nature" that makes them "naturally more prone" to violence, decadence, evil actions, and so forth.
Warlocks may be the most powerful species of the Shadow World, they also are the literal children of demons - hybrids that can't even have their own children and who are carrying a physical mark that reflects their demonic parentage.
Some Shadowhunters apparently used to take those marks as trophies (it's pretty clear that Circle members still do), and it seems to be one of the ways that Shadowhunters sometimes use to confirm the identity of a warlock.
Later, we also learn that Magnus has been vulnerable to Asmodeus' influence as a child because he was the only other person he'd ever met with "eyes like his".
Magnus' eyes are tied to a lot of shame, early rejection (including his mother killing herself and abandoning him, when he was nine, when she finally realized what her son's cat eyes meant), and overall bad memories.
I think that the only times, until then, that we'd seen Magnus with his glamour down on the show was when he was trying to drive people away / intimidate them / remind them of how powerful and potentially dangerous he (or a spell he is performing) is.
It's when he wants people to remember that he's also "part monster", that they would do well not to get on his bad side, or make sure that someone requiring his services understands the type of forces they are dealing with.
Jocelyn Fairchild knocking at his door to get Clary's memories removed, those Circle members in the club, the one Magnus was fighting in his apartment...
They are all people that Magnus wanted to send some form of warning to, whether the warning was hostile, or not.
And suddenly, those "monster eyes" are on full display for Alec to see in a context where he wishes to make Alec feel safe and avoid anything that could ever drive him away.
Thanks to him having lost control over his glamour, Alec is now concerned that he's done something wrong...
And, although Magnus is quick to reassure Alec that his current reaction has nothing to do with something he did - or with him not wanting to share this intimate moment with him - he's still avoiding Alec's gaze, seemingly withdrawing from him, and offering no coherent or clear explanation as to why.
But, try as he might, Magnus can't bring the glamour back on, so he's essentially got two choices...
He can either trust that Alec won't leave once he sees his warlock mark, and that he'll be able to accept that it is a part of him that he can't always control (apparently).
That, should Alec find his eyes' appearance unsettling, they'll find ways to manage the situation until Magnus becomes better at maintaining his glamour around Alec while the two of them are being intimate with each other. Maybe get creative with the use of blindfolds?
Or he can continue to let Alec worry over what's happening while stubbornly keeping his eyes closed and refusing to look at him until he gets the glamour back on, thus maintaining a certain form of "barrier" between them.
Magnus thus chooses to take the risk of allowing himself to be vulnerable with Alec once again - allowing him to see him without any glamour - so he'll understand that his reaction wasn't caused by anything Alec did.
Or actually, maybe it was caused by something Alec did; just not by something Alec did wrong.
And I also love the way that Alec's expression doesn't change right away once Magnus finds the courage to turn around.
I love that Alec briefly continues to just look at him like he's still trying to figure out what's wrong with Magnus now that he's FINALLY able to look in his eyes - steadily searching for the answer there like he did earlier.
I like to think that Alec sort of initially just mentally went: "Okay, that's good, I've managed to get him to look at me. Now, I just need to convince him that it's okay for him to tell me what he meant by "los - OH!"
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That the moment he realizes the eyes he's been looking into have changed color and appearance, he breaks into that slightly amused smile (mostly amused at himself for having been too focused on trying to read the emotions written there to immediately notice the change); relieved to know that Magnus and him will be okay.
Because, just like Madzie's gills looked incredibly cool, Magnus' cat eyes are absolutely gorgeous, and Alec knows he's just falling in love with his boyfriend's eyes all over again, gladly getting lost in their depth.
Alec can only hope that Magnus will believe him when he tells him that they are beautiful, that he's beautiful... That it will help relieve some of the pain, fears, and concerns he sees reflected in them...
Meanwhile, Magnus watches Alec go from being a concerned, confused, and inquisitive puppy; to a relieved, mesmerized, and adoring one in a matter of seconds!
Next thing he knows, there's a warm, gentle hand against his cheek; and a pair of open, steady, loving hazel eyes staring right back into his own, tenderly anchoring him there while Alec is calling his cat eyes beautiful, telling him that he's beautiful - all of him - with all the love and sincerity he can muster.
Magnus can allow himself to relax, lovingly reach up to caress the hand resting on his cheek while lazily blinking back at him in wonder.
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His cat eyes - that Magnus had usually used to inspire respect and fear, to remind people of his powers and appear more intimidating - aren't driving him away.
For some reason, they appear to be drawing Alec in instead, inspiring him to move even closer to him rather than farther apart. And perhaps - just perhaps - if Alec can love them and see beauty in them, he might be able to learn to love and fully own that part of himself, too.
One of the things that fascinate me about Alec is that, once he found out that his parents and the Clave had lied to him his whole life about their involvement in the Circle, it's like he made the conscious decision to bring all of his perceptions of the Downworld back to factory reset.
He was able to recognize that all of the prejudices he'd ever had about warlocks, vampires, and other Downworlders weren't based on facts, and that there was no actual evidence that Downworlders were better or worse people just for having demon blood.
Instinctively, we fear what we don't know or don't understand - what we haven't been familiarized with when we were young. We perceive what isn't "like us" or "a part of our usual environment" as potential threats.
ROBERT: [Magnus]'s reputation precedes him. And even for a warlock, he’s a bit of a lothario. Alec, there’s so much that you don’t know about him.
ALEC: Well, then I plan to get to know him.
Alec's not denying that there are tons of things he doesn't know nor understand about Magnus, simply stating that he's not going to let that lack of knowledge make him treat Magnus as inherently "bad" or dangerous because of it.
He's going to take the time to get to know him - seek to better understand him - and he'll adapt his opinion of him based on what he sees, learns, finds, and experiences, rather than the opinion of people that have never bothered spending time with him, nor made any efforts to get to know him for who he is rather than what he could potentially do "as a warlock".
Better yet, he's going to start exploring the rest of the Downworld and getting to know their people as if he was experiencing their world and taking a look at them for the very first time, too.
When it comes to Magnus and the Downworld, Alec is choosing to leave himself open and trusting in the face of the unknown, rather than risking to unfairly treat them as threats to keep himself and fellow Shadowhunters "safe" from things they don't understand, yet are too fearful to go explore.
And, unlike Aldertree, he's wise enough to avoid treating anecdotal bad experiences, no matter how tragic or terrible they may be, as facts that can be generalized to all of the Downworld.
Just because the breaks of your car have malfunctioned and caused a crash doesn't mean that every car you'll climb in is ill-fated to have malfunctioning breaks and crash.
Alec is obviously not "innocent" all the way through. He grew up in a world of politics and is perfectly aware of the mind games and power plays that can and often occur there.
He was also emotionally and psychologically abused by parents that used his feelings to get what they wanted out of him (they may have thought they were doing it to protect their children from their past and the Clave, their behavior with their children was still controlling and abusive, even putting Jace, Isabelle, and Alec in the roles of the golden, invisible, and scapegoat child, respectively).
And that's sort of the point. Now that Alec has snapped out of it, he's very perceptive and typically good at noticing and identifying patterns of emotional manipulation, and/or when someone's motivations and goals go against the welfare of those they are supposed to be protecting.
And treating Downworlders as people also means avoiding to fall into the trap of idealizing them by believing that none of them ever would abuse their powers, among others.
Alec may have decided to start trusting and valuing Downworlders with an open heart, and utterly be refusing to see them as a threats based on their reputation and everything he doesn't know about them, but he still allows himself to have an opinion of each individual he meets.
Be they Shadowhunters, Downworlders, or Mundanes, if the individual's actions and motives appear to be self-serving, and/or threatens to bring harm to others, he won't trust nor support them.
But Magnus himself is the one that helped him realize that the way he'd been raised was wrong, and "snap out" of the manipulation and abuse he'd been the victim of. He's the one that inspired him to start questioning the "truths" he'd been blindly taught by the Clave, and to follow what he knew in his heart was right.
Magnus is the one that, while holding Alec accountable for his actions and letting him know when he didn't approve of his behavior, never tried to minimize what Alec was going through nor pretend that he was wrong for feeling the way he did.
In some ways, Alec is far from being innocent, but in others, he truly is.
He's never been in romantic relationship nor had sex with anyone before, he gets upset over the poor tunas being described as "fatty" on the menu of a sushi restaurant, he grew up being pretty sheltered from everything that exists outside of the Shadow World...
And, with Magnus, he doesn't need to pretend that he knows more than he does, nor hide any of that innocence from him, because he knows that he won't be judged for it, mocked about it or, especially, taken advantage of because of it.
He can afford to let his guards down and embrace that side of him that is filled with innocence and wonder because Magnus respects, values, and nurtures it.
What Magnus receives, in return, is the love and acceptation of someone that refuses to let other people's opinions or even blood connections dictate how he should see the world and others, takes the time to truly look at him, and openly tell him what he sees.
Alec doesn't care what warlocks marks are "supposed to mean" according to the Clave. Madzie's gills are cool-looking, so why shouldn't he compliment her on them?
Magnus' eyes are beautiful and he loves them, so why pretend otherwise?
"There is nothing ugly about you."
"I don't care who your parents are. I care who you are."
"You are the furthest thing from a greater demon."
After all, Alec's parents used to be Circle members, and he's the furthest thing from being Circle member, too.
All I can hope is that telling Magnus out loud that he shouldn't carry the burden nor shame of his parents' actions, or the fact that someone took advantage of him at his most vulnerable to try to turn him into someone he's not, is helping Alec truly internalize the fact that his family's crimes and mistakes aren't his to fix, and the way he'd treated or behaved with Downworlders before he realized how wrong his parents and the Clave were isn't something he should feel guilty about, either.
Take steps to make up for his mistakes and show proper responsibility for Downworlders who are under his people's protection, yes. Acknowledge what he did wrong and why it was wrong, absolutely.
But it doesn't make him a terrible person nor puts him at fault. He still deserves to be loved, cherished, put first, and be reminded of how beautiful he is, too.
I think what makes Malec such a beloved pairing is the amount of love and acceptance they have for each other, and their willingness to emotionally empathize despite their very different backgrounds and experiences.
Relationships do take efforts, but it is important not to overlook the type of efforts they require.
Relationships aren't about making the effort to change the other person to better suit yourself, nor to change yourself to become what the other person wants.
Because, while healthy relationships do, indeed, inspire people to change and (hopefully) become better; they do so by "unlocking" parts of ourselves that we didn't dare acknowledge, explore, develop, and/or express until then.
They do so by offering a supportive, loving, and safe environment for certain aspects of our personalities to hatch, take root, and/or grow.
But those are changes that come from within.
You can offer a romantic partner opportunities for change as much as you want, if they do not feel like they have anything to gain by embracing them (or worse, if their goal is to dominate and control the relationship), nothing good will come of it.
Those efforts, instead, are about learning to know and understand each other, finding the right balance between your partner's needs and your own, leaving your ego at the door while trying to resolve conflicts, admitting to being wrong when you are, showing appreciation and respect towards your partner for taking responsibility for their mistakes when it turns out that you are right, and seeking to come out of any conflict or difficult situation with the two of you having gained or learned something out of it, and with your partnership having ideally grown stronger from the experience.
Those efforts are about being willing to pool resources together to support and make each other stronger. They are about finding how to make your respective differences work in such a way that they complement each other, and accept that there are aspects of your lives where you'll need to agree to disagree.
Relationships take efforts, but they require healthy efforts.
And some of those efforts, thankfully, turn out to be more rewarding than anything else.
Because, while Magnus does have to make the effort of being mindful that he's Alec first romantic and sexual relationship, and he does have to make the effort of giving him space to explore, take risks, and set the pace for the both of them, he seems to be enjoying every single second of it.
Since Alec grew up in such a very sheltered environment, there are tons of things in the Mundane world - and even just life in general - that he's yet to have tasted, touched, seen, heard and experienced.
By loving him - by emotionally connecting with Alec - he gets the chance to re-experience many of the things he loves with him for the first time, too.
I have absolutely no trouble imagining Magnus bringing Alec to his favorite restaurants not so much for the food itself, but to drink in the sight of Alec tasting it and listening to him commenting on it - regardless of whether he ends up enjoying the same foods he does or not.
When they walk hand-in-hand in the streets of a foreign city, Alec is likely to pay attention to things that Magnus himself may never have noticed before, and appreciate details that he may have grown to take for granted over time, or stopped noticing after a while.
And, after having grown up with parents that - in Alec's own words - have drilled into him that he was never good enough, Alec has met someone that finds delight and joy in almost everything he does, and who treats him like he's the best thing that has ever happened to him in hundred of years!
Somehow, their respective needs and wants work together in a very beautiful and organic way.
They are different and they do come from different worlds, but their core values, personalities, ability to derive genuine happiness from their partner's own experience of it, and their desire to treat their relationship as a true partnership makes it work and allows them to overcome challenges together.
Magnus offered Alec a world he never thought he'd ever be allowed to have and experience.
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Alec offered Magnus the key to opening his heart and fully emotionally connecting with all the wonders and joys of their world.
Magnus' powers is the magic he was born with, but Alec's love and innocence is the magic he chose to bring home with him and keep safe.
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buffyspeak · 9 months
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i mean i know people were upset that alec didn’t say anything like “hey don’t do that” when magnus said he would die if it meant getting jace back and that magnus didn’t contradict alec when he said he was nothing without jace and like. i get it but i think it also speaks to them understanding each other more deeply, which also maybe speaks to them finding some common ground after their fights. alec knows what it’s like to feel the weight of responsibility and guilt so much that you’ll do anything to make it right, even risking yourself. and he knows there’s probably not much he can do to dissuade magnus. magnus in turn knows what jace means to alec and that even though alec is a complete whole person on his own, the fact remains that a) alec himself doesn’t necessarily feel that way and b) on some level alec will be a fundamentally changed person if they can’t save jace and/or if he dies. because he knows the depth of grief intimately and he knows how wrapped up in each other’s identities parabatai get.
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Alec shook his head again. “Before we were together,” he said, “I was angry a lot, and I hurt people because I was in pain. Being kind when you’re in pain��it’s hard. Most people struggle to do it at the best of times. The demon who cast that spell couldn’t imagine it. But among all those identical figures, there was one person who hesitated to hurt somebody, even at the moment of utmost horror. That had to be you.”
-Red Scrolls of Magic
The light died out of Magnus’s eyes. He said, “Well, I can understand that you—I wasn’t very kind to you.”
“No,” Alec said bluntly. “You weren’t, but I guess it’s hard to break up with someone kindly. The thing is, I am sorry about what I did. I was wrong. Incredibly wrong. But the reason I did it, that isn’t going to change. I can’t go through my life feeling like I don’t know you at all. You keep saying the past is the past, but the past made you who you are. I want to know about your life. And if you’re not willing to tell me about it, then I shouldn’t be with you. Because I know me, and I won’t ever be okay with it. So I shouldn’t put us both through that again.”
-City of Heavenly Fire
Okay so... I had this epiphany when I was in class and I just remembered it again but um yeah. This parallel. Idk where I'm going with this and ik these scenes are about very different things and different contexts but like. The way Alec went from couldn’t being able to imagine Magnus as anything but kind to acknowledging that even Magnus can be unkind sometimes, too, cause he's just human. That even Magnus can slip up and make mistakes and be unkind because he's in pain. So you were never a Saint, and I loved in shades of wrong. Except in like, a positive way? Idk I just think that lyric fits. I'm not sorry at all.
I've said this before and I'll say it again. rsom was about Magnus and Alec loving each other with rose tinted glasses on and the second half of tmi is them looking at each other with the glasses off.
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hikaru9 · 2 years
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I've seen the posts you've done about Magnus and his relationships with people, and I was wondering if you ever planned on doing the Main Gang — or at least, some of them. I'd love to see your take on Magnus's and Clary's relationship throughout the books/series! 💛
Thank you so much for the ask! It's been a while since I received anything Shadowhunter-related! I LOVE Magnus's and Clary's relationship! I thought the series touched on it but it could have been more, while in the books we get regularly a (small) glimpse of their relationship. I always found it beautiful! It's not a big brother/little sister kind of relationship; it's a lovely, open and honest friendshio that I always loved.
I'd really like to dive into a meta about them!
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Round 2 Polls:
(Projected length: 32 days)
(Results: Here)
Day 1:
1. Ogai Mori vs. Pascal
2. The Doctor vs. Franky
Day 2:
3. Madoc vs. Daenerys Targaryen
4. Inspector Barnes vs. Bright Noa
Day 3:
5. August vs. Claude Frollo
6. Cale Henituse vs. Leif
Day 4:
7. Simon Petrikov vs. Chiron
8. Yami Sukehiro vs. Sei Handa
Day 5:
9. Gintoki Sakata vs. Eithan Arelius
10. Dr. Gregory House vs. Maglor
Day 6:
11. Wolverine vs. Izumi Curtis
12. Roy Mustang vs. Abraham van Helsing
Day 7:
13. Askeladd vs. Rune Saint John
14. Guts vs. Jake Sully
Day 8:
15. Sir Reginald Hargreeves vs. Jean Valjean
16. Kohachi Inugami vs. The Fix
Day 9:
17. Kanan Jarrus and Hera Syndulla vs. Gumpa
18. Aphmau vs. Agent Washington
Day 10:
19. Grace vs. Vector the Crocodile
20. Alec Lightwood-Bane vs. Dadan
Day 11:
21. Bobby Nash vs. William Adama
22. Korosensei vs. The Warrior of Light
Day 12:
23. Kaname Date vs. Jack Starbright
24. Satoru Gojo vs. Dutch Van Der Linde
Day 13:
25. Xie Lian vs. Takashi “Shiro” Shirogane
26. Tom and Maddie Wachowski vs. Sakyo Furuichi
Day 14:
27. Welt Yang vs. Herlock Sholmes
28. Carlisle and Esme Cullen vs. Dracule Mihawk
Day 15:
29. Artemy Burakh vs. Barry and Iris West-Allen
30. Kazuma Kiryu vs. Yuugo and Lucas
Day 16:
31. Master Wu vs. Dave Seville
32. Axel vs. Izumi Tachibana
Day 17:
33. Arlecchino/The Knave vs. Sarah Jane Smith
34. Qifrey vs. Bell-Mere
Day 18:
35. Bobby Singer vs. Cap’n Craig Cuttlefish
36. Professor Hershel Layton vs. Donna Hanscum
Day 19:
37. Giovanni Potage vs. Ingo
38. Miles Edgeworth vs. Vil Shoenheit
Day 20:
39. Nick Fury vs. Dalinar Kholin
40. King Dedede and Meta Knight vs. Kavax au Telemanaus
Day 21:
41. Arataka Reigen vs. Jawbone O’Shaughnessey
42. Gol D. Roger vs. Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn
Day 22:
43. Toriel Dreemurr vs. Master Kongo
44. Pongo and Perdita vs. Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik
Day 23:
45. Lance Strongbow vs. Derek Hale
46. Tony Stark vs. Roronoa Zoro
Day 24:
47. Jody Mills vs. Eric Gale
48. “Red-Haired” Shanks vs. Kurogane and Fai D’Flourite
Day 25:
49. Han Muchun vs. Iroh
50. Splinter vs. Lilia Vanrouge
Day 26:
51. Bruce Wayne vs. Thomas O’Malley
52. Jupiter North vs. Keishin Ukai
Day 27:
53. Kim Dokja vs. Roberto de Niro
54. Shōta Aizawa vs. Doctor Carmilla
Day 28:
55. Mendoza vs. Soundwave
56. David Wymack vs. Ash Ketchum
Day 29:
57. Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu vs. Yondu Udonta
58. Eda Clawthorne vs. Gavroche
Day 30:
59. Fukuzawa Yukichi vs. Optimus Prime
60. Camila Noceda vs. QSMP!Philza
Day 31:
61. Phoenix Wright vs. The Dragonborn
62. Bruno Bucciarati vs. Oliver Queen
Day 32:
63. Whitebeard vs. Otose
64. Sojiro Sakura vs. Yukari Yakumo
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faejilly · 9 months
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Tangential Prompt Requests!
Inspired by @alexanderlightweight's "Writing Wednesday" I am opening up my askbox for requests! With the usual caveat that whatever I come up with may bear very little resemblance to whatever you thought you had in mind.
(Or, as I have previously put it when making things: the voices in my head are smarter than I am, and they do NOT tell me what they're doing, so we all get whatever we get and can be surprised together!)
Feel free to ask about any of my published fic, or request new ones. You may cruise my #prompt requests tag for ideas if you'd like, just be sure to tell me which meme if applicable. If you're a relatively recent follower/lurker my writing tag is #jilly writes and my ao3 is here.
I am accepting:
Writing Prompts!
Questions regarding: lore, worldbuilding, headcanons, OC's etc. (I do have a specific SH meta tag, #my sh rambling, but for all the rest it's just kind of... somewhere? 🍀)
Fanmix/Podfic requests (LMK if you need more clarification on that one.)
Primary Fandoms:
Shadowhunters: I tend to write Malec, and I probably won't write either Alec or Magnus with someone else, but I enjoy the entire extended (TV) cast so feel free to go wild.
BioWare: Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Jade Empire
Secondary Fandoms are too numerous to list and include an eclectic range of books/TV shows/movies/video games. Feel free to ask about anything, especially if you've seen me flail about it here or post something on ao3/spotify. I will enjoy the question, even if don't have an opinion, promise!
If you'd like some suggestions about stuff I'm currently working on?
Highlights From The Unending WIP List of Doom™️
#apples vs oranges (not on AO3 yet) A Malec a/b/o story with Nephilim!wings and weird lore and fantasy politics. (Yeah, I will eventually manage a better blurb for that.)
d.c. al coda: DA2 epilogue(s) (Adelaide Hawke/Sebastian Vael)
they have hung my heart with a sunset reasonably canon compliant Shadowhunters epilogue with Inquisitor Alec Lightwood & High Warlock of Alicante Magnus Bane in Alicante
Floralegia: Weaver Shepard from Mass Effect (original trilogy, f!shenko, earthborn, war hero, paragon, nerd, etc.)
clizzy!AU a very much not canon compliant Shadowhunters epilogue where-in they are all still in NYC and also eventually I will get Clary & Izzy to make out. Hopefully.
Anything 7KPP!
mer!Alec
Sagacious Zu/Spirit Monk (#Icy Yaling) from Jade Empire
I have discovered, these last few weeks, that I am kind of terrible at doing one-shot scenes anymore, even though I used to write them all the time. So I may write several fills and make sure I know how they go together before I start posting. If you're ever curious whether I got your prompt, or what the status is, feel free to ask and I'll check. ❤️
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meeedeee · 2 years
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Nephilim Love Once...
Fandoms: Shadowhunters (TV), Shadowhunters (TV) RPF, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Major Character Death
Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland
Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood
Simon Lewis & Alec Lightwood
Clary Fray/Jace Wayland
Lydia Branwell & Alec Lightwood
Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood
Alec Lightwood
Magnus Bane
Jace Wayland
Isabelle Lightwood
Clary Fray
Simon Lewis
Lydia Branwell
Fanvids
Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Nephilim hearts being more vulnerable to certain human conditions...
Like
Broken Heart Syndrome
(also called stress cardiomyopathy)
bit of
Meta
and
Character Analysis
Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane
also
Alec Lightwood loves fiercely
Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood
and can't apparently rest until he finds him...
(Feed generated with FetchRSS) source https://archiveofourown.org/works/41058465
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Tumblr media
of love & names
Malec | Rated general | tw transphobia | Meta, ish, Trans Male Character, Trans Magnus Bane, AFAB, Transphobia, Character Study, Non-Linear Narrative, Magnus Bane-centric, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort | Bingo Square: AFAB
Summary: The best thing that Asmodeus ever did for him, Magnus sometimes thought, was letting him choose his own name.
Or: Magnus is trans, has friends, and (finally) feels accepted. 
A/N: This work was created for the Shadowhunters Pride Bingo presented by the Malec Discord Server. @malecdiscordserver
Thanks to @ravenstakeflight for the sensitivity read & beta!
Read it on AO3 or below the cut.
The best thing that Asmodeus ever did for him, Magnus sometimes thought, was letting him choose his own name. 
Of course, Asmodeus had done plenty of worse things and his respect of Magnus’ gender didn’t exactly make up for that — but it was thanks to that time in Edom that Magnus had learned that no matter what physical traits he’d been born with, he could choose for himself who he was, who he wanted to be. 
Growing up, it hadn’t mattered much; daughter or son, Magnus helped his mother around the house as a child, and they didn’t exactly have the money for fancy, useless dresses. He wore efficient pants and didn’t mind that they were pink — he’d never much cared for the connotations of colour. He’d felt a vague discomfort with the name they’d given him, but he was able to ignore that well enough. But then, a few months before his warlock mark and magic showed themselves and tore his life to pieces, his step-father had begun to stop him from accompanying him into the fields; that was all right for a child, but an older girl should know better. 
I don’t want to be a girl, Magnus had complained, but his stepfather had only shaken his head at the childish foolishness and boxed his ears until he obeyed. 
It hadn’t escalated into a real problem before his magic showed up and his mother hung herself and his step-father tried to drown him and Magnus killed him with the very magic that’d ended his old life — but it had been a problem, something Magnus was aware of in the back of his mind, an uncomfortable feeling when he thought about his future. 
Asmodeus, though, cared little for such human ideas. In his care, Magnus had chosen his own name, a boy’s name that didn’t make him want to tear his skin to pieces, and Asmodeus had shrugged and called him son and let him bind his growing chest; perhaps that was why Magnus had stayed with him so long — he remembered well how cruel mundanes could be to those they saw as different. Unnatural. 
Still, he eventually realised how cruel his father was, how evil, and he returned to the realm where he’d been born with Asmodeus confined to Edom and little else but the clothes on his back. From then on, subtle glamours made him look enough like a man that nobody glanced twice at the masculine name, though they stared happily enough at the makeup and jewellery and colourful clothing — and at his darker skin, at the bisexuality that he didn’t quite flaunt but refused to hide, either. 
Sometimes, he’d use magic to pretend there was nothing wrong, nothing different about him that made him less of a man; he’d keep the glamour up assiduously, hoping that if he held it well enough he might be able to forget what he looked like underneath, but he’d sometimes let it slip and he hated that. When he looked in the mirror with the glamour up, he felt a surge of joy, of euphoria, but all too soon the glamour would drop or he’d feel the weight in his chest and that temporary relief would be gone. 
He’d wrap his chest in bandages so that even if the glamour fell, he’d be able to hide it; he moved confidently, hiding insecurities and discomfort behind the mask he learned always to wear — but whenever he was found out, whenever a partner or a friend saw what he looked like underneath the all-too-temporary spells and binders, they’d leave, sometimes turning a whole town against him, sometimes not, but always leaving. 
Until a warlock with green skin and curving horns, who helped him out of innumerable crises and eventually did see what he really looked like, and when Magnus was expecting a look of disgust or shock or hatred to come over his face, only smiled sadly and stayed. Ragnor even helped him with it — devising more spells to reduce the dysphoria that sometimes made him want to tear off his skin, helping him design a binder that he could wear for longer without pain. Ragnor was almost like the father that Magnus had always wished he could have. 
(Ragnor was also a stubborn, sarcastic, old-fashioned, grumpy bastard, but Magnus loved him anyway. And no matter how much Ragnor huffed and feigned irritation and sighed heavily at Magnus’ crazier schemes and persistent nicknames, Magnus knew he loved him back.)
And then there was Cat, who Magnus rescued from being burned at the stake — the first person who Magnus told of his own free will that he’d been born a girl and not a boy, the second person who didn’t leave. She was a doctor, a nurse, with a natural aptitude for healing magic that’d only improved as she spent her time healing people. 
(It was thanks to Cat that Magnus learned about the mundane developments that could help him; it was Cat who did Magnus’ top surgery, who set him up with hormone treatments, and suddenly he didn’t need to glamour himself anymore to look like a man. Magnus nearly cried when he looked at himself in the mirror for the first time, small scars on his chest the only sign of the surgery. He hugged her tightly and she hugged him back and if he did cry this time, she was kind enough not to comment on it. But all that came later, after the turn of the century — after Camille.) 
Camille was, technically speaking, the third person to stay after learning what he looked like underneath the glamour, but Magnus was no longer grateful to her for that. She’d stopped him from stepping off a bridge, too, and it had taken Magnus far too long to learn that he didn’t owe it to her to stay because of that. 
She’d told him that nobody would ever love him like she did, because only she would be willing to deal with him — deal with the days when he couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed until she slapped him across the face, deal with the way he was always too much, deal with the difference between the gender he preferred and the parts he’d been born with. Who else would be willing to forgive him those faults? To love him despite them? Ragnor and Cat, yes, but Camille did her utmost to cut him off from them — and anyway, that was platonic, not romantic, not sexual, and Magnus’ biological sex was never shoved in their faces. 
She insisted that Magnus keep his glamour up all the time, always — both the one over his eyes and the one that made him look more masculine. With her, Magnus would leave his binder on nearly all the time, more than was healthy or safe but it kept her near him so he ignored it. He summoned her anything she wanted, offered all that he had, cut off all the bits of himself that she didn’t like — but he still wasn’t enough. She cheated on him with anyone and everyone she wanted, told him that if he didn’t like it he could leave but he’d never find anyone like her again. 
Eventually, he did leave her — dragged himself away, bloody and bleeding under his masks and knowing that it wasn’t worth it to stay with her any longer. Had never been worth it, really, but Magnus had always been foolish in love. 
Cat and Ragnor took him back. He’d half-expected them to shut the door in his face, when he showed up at Ragnor’s door, but they welcomed him in easily. As though he’d never abandoned them for a cold-hearted woman who’d done her best to destroy him and, perhaps, succeeded. 
After that, he started the process of shutting down his heart to anyone but Cat and Ragnor. It didn’t work completely, of course — Camille always laughed at him for being soft-hearted, and it was true — but he began to calcify then, stopped opening himself up to romantic relationships. Camille had demonstrated well how devastating that kind of love could be. Magnus didn’t want to risk a second Camille; he’d barely survived her the first time, sometimes he felt he hadn’t survived her, and he wouldn’t be able to do it all again. Better, safer, to shut that part of himself away. 
Raphael came into his life, more sarcastic than Ragnor but with a softer heart than his cool exterior suggested; the decades rolled by and for the first time Magnus learned about people like him, people who were born one gender but who knew themselves to be another; he learned, too, about the hatred that they faced. The Downworld was perhaps better about it than mundanes — thanks to the Shadowhunters, they knew what it was to be unjustly oppressed — but Magnus had been burned too many times to let anyone else into his heart, into the bubble of people who knew and loved him. 
Valentine rose. Magnus had thought he’d known oppression, for his skin colour and his sexuality and his gender and the makeup he wore and, yes, his demonic parentage — but Valentine was worse than Magnus had seen before. He remembered how the Shadowhunters had broken the plates he’d eaten on, at the signing of the first Accords, but Valentine wanted to eliminate Downworlders entirely. 
Thankfully, the Circle fell, though Magnus knew well that the Clave wasn’t much better. It was during those in-between years that Cat suggested mundane surgery, top surgery; Magnus had hesitated at first for fear of the failures of mundane medicine, but he agreed, and it was so liberating to not have to wear a binder any longer, to let his glamour drop and not look like a woman underneath it. 
Then: Alexander. 
A Shadowhunter with dark hair and pale skin and obviously no idea how striking his looks were — a Shadowhunter willing to share his strength with a warlock, who obviously cared for his siblings, who smiled like the rising sun. Magnus had never been so enamoured, and the walls he’d built to carefully shuddered — cracked — and fell, fell in love with Alec, too soon and too much but Alec didn’t seem to mind. 
Magnus was terrified that Alec would go, shattering his heart along with the walls that protected it and isolated it all at once, but somehow — impossibly — Alec didn’t. Not when they fought, over Magnus’ immortality or greater experience or anything else; not even when Magnus explained, hesitant and uncertain and insecure, that he’d been born a girl — that physically, even with the surgery and the hormones, he wasn’t— he didn’t—
Alec just shushed him, gently, and promised that he wasn’t going to leave. 
For once, Magnus believed him.
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I would have loved to see more interactions with the seelies- people who can’t lie but are crafty and secretive sounds fascinating. Think of the dialog! Alec going to magnus for advice since he has centuries of experience talking to them, Alec playing mental chess while trying to maintain peace. Would have loved getting more- but let’s be real, Cassaundra and the show writers weren’t clever enough to actually make any conversations like that of value.
SAME!!!!! honestly i would have loved to see so much more of the seelies. like bro do you understand that their culture predates the VERY EXISTENCE OF HUMANITY??? they are the ONLY kind of downworlders whose culture is completely detached from any human culture, not only because of predating it, but also because of the relative isolationism - which means human culture barely had any influence on their culture and history AS it developed
so like you can literally go fucking bonkers??????????? you can make ANYTHING. they have a whole ass society that doesn't have to have ANY ties to mundane concepts or history AT ALL. complete creative freedom. you could do ANYTHING! and don't get me started on the potential this has, within storytelling, to contextualize a lot of stuff modern western culture sees as natural or timeless as actually pretty fucking specific - like monogamy, cisheteropatriarchy, the gender binary, racism. all immortals have that potential of course since they can come from an array of different cultural and historical backgrounds but seelies in particular have SO much potential that is NEVER! FUCKING! USED! it all goes to waste and they are just a generic vaguely monarchic society that behaves literally exactly as modern western cultural standards. WHY. i'll never stop being salty, especially within sh where all this potential was there and instead they just villainized the seelies like no tomorrow for nO FUCKING REASON, and included a whole plotline about their ruler being a terrible power-hungry person and then proceeded to act as if that would have no influence on the seelies under her rule? thanks for nothing
like i know the seelie queen was so badly written that her own motivations even as a power-hungry wacko didn't make sense or were consistent (like why give simon the mark of cain for example, and for god's sake what kind of power-hungry crazy bitch gives their main enemy the power to literally kill her and destroy everything she has at the blink of an eye, like??? she literally tried to assist in her own genocide, it makes no fucking sense, i fucking hate it here) but if they are going to make her Terrible the least they could do was show how that impacted the people under her rule, especially if they are going to have meliorn be fucking tortured and either forced to display the marks of said torture or choosing to display them themself, like? please give your plotlines one singular thought
but of course it's easier to villainize seelies and reduce them to their obviously tyrannical ruler so they can go back to focusing on the shadowhunters and their issues. nevermind the fact that seelies are obviously equivalent to native ppls/third world countries resisting colonialism/imperialism in sh's stupid ass racial metaphor, which makes making their ruler a big bad unequivocally evil villain that is ruining everything A Choice. and a particularly choicy Choice considering they cast a middle-eastern man to play the most important seelie character. but if they are going to do that they could at least address how the people under her rule suffer and how that's a direct consequence of shadowhunter colonialism and interference, but why would we fkcnig thdo that!!!! when we can have love triangle drama or whatever
and tHEN there is the whole aspect of being unable to lie which is bound to have such an impact on their culture and history since they have to rely on other forms of communication to protect themselves - and considering the whole "tyrannical rule" plotline, to further the queen's agenda in the first place. and how telling the truth without preamble would probably be considered a huge display of trust in a society that has culturally developed so many ways of talking around things. like again the potential of the cultural and historic background for that society! it makes me go insane!!!
anyway all of that to say #JusticeForSeelies and #SeeliePlotlinesNow 2021 and forever. and YES i would have loved to see more interactions between them and other characters, particularly magnus because 1- admittedly i'm a hoe; and 2- magnus was clearly the one that had the most experience talking to seelies and that others relied on for that communication. he also seemed to be the most comfortable with them, which indicates there is either some sort of history there, or magnus just happens to feel relatively at home with the workings of their culture. which makes sense, because magnus also had to develop pretty similar defense mechanisms due to his, A- work as a warlock representative who has to interact with shadowhunters on the regular; B- history with having to deal with asmodeus, which required him to be very smart about what he disclosed and how, especially considering that he had to have been planning banishing asmodeus for a long time before he got to do it; and C- just history with abuse in general. we've seen the way he closed his heart off to new people; but at the same time, magnus is obviously an extrovert and likes to be around people in general. this meant that, in order to be able to both be in the kind of environment where he thrives and protect himself/his heart/his feelings, he had to learn how to interact with people while putting on a convincing façade, which requires pretty much the same sorts of wordplay and defense mechanisms that seelies use
magnus is good at wordplay, he's good at using talking to his benefit; we've seen that. he is also good at hiding and deflecting. he is notably not good at directly lying - every time he directly said A Lie such as "i am perfectly fine and not bothered by this at all :)" it was way less convincing than it was a clear display that he wouldn't budge. even alec, who has difficulty with social cues, noticed the lying and seemed concerned about it. so like. clearly his defense mechanisms were less lying and more dancing around subjects, directing conversation to safe topics, and guiding people to making certain assumptions and seeing sides of his that were safer and he preferred
so in that way it makes sense that magnus is somewhat in his element when dealing with seelies. i think "comfortable" is a strong word because this whole song and dance takes a huge toll on anyone's mental health and energy (which i think is something that could be very interestingly explored in seelies, their collective psyche, and their culture, the way they build relationships, etc. let meliorn have partners they feel 100% comfortable talking without preamble with 2k21), but it's something he is used to and a dynamic he can fall into without as much effort as others who would be second guessing themselves more and going slower, which clearly gives the seelies, who are used to it, an advantage
and like i know that i'm implying a confrontation or sort of situation where they are on opposing sides to seelies here, which i kind of am because i am thinking mostly about magnus' interactions with the seelie queen specifically, since she was the seelie he had the most meaningful interactions with. his interactions with meliorn were very few and almost never relevant, i barely remember them happening outside of generic downworld cabinet interactions tbh. but i don't just mean that because again, stop villainizing seelies 2k21
i also mean just generally that magnus would be in a more comfortable position talking to seelie strangers and slowly working into building a relationship and mutual trust. and just generally understanding them and the workings of their culture because he can empathize with the way they have built their social defense mechanisms. no one is 100% truthful to strangers, but seelies always seem kind of- analytical. and the cultural difference + anti-seelie racism makes them seem untrustworthy to most people, but magnus Gets It, so the potential for friendships! and the mutual understanding and the relative comfort around each other! and both parts understanding the enormity that is letting their walls down gradually and being more direct as time goes by. like.... aaaaaa
and yes magnus becomes a sort of reference on talking to seelies, mostly because he is good at "playing their game", but also making it a point to humanize seelies and making the other parts understand where they are coming from and how they feel :) and just improving their relations, particularly with other downworlders
im not going to get into alec because 1- the relationship between shadowhunters and seelies is already filled with oppression and a lot of complications, and particularly now that the seelie realm is politically fragile due to the loss of their ruler (however terrible she might have been), it would play into either white savior narratives or just straight up colonialism, especially given how alec as a leader already has a history of trying to build tutelage over downworlders (i don't care what his intentions were, it's still true, and although he's learning... well. he's learning, continuous action); 2- that would be more a relationship of opposition and i'm not that interested in that. but i would love to see seelies rebuilding themselves and their relationships and alliances with other downworlders particularly, and all the better if magnus is playing a part in that :)
in short:
more seelies
more magnus with seelies, especially friendships
more focus on the politics of seelies now that the seelie queen is gone
more seelies
more seelies
more seelies
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itsdeanwinchester · 5 years
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On Magnus’s state of mind (3x17)
“You think this is a gift? It’s more like a theft. They took my magic, what made me who I am. They stole my very soul” -- Iris, on being made a mundane
I’m happy they addressed some of Magnus’s inner thoughts and feelings because yes, of course Magnus loves Alec, but Magnus is also grieving the loss of his magic--something that has been with him since he was born. He puts on a smile for Alec because he wants to please Alec so much. (Look how happy Alec is seeing Magnus back to “his old self” in good health). He wants Alec to be happy, so he tries not to express the dark thoughts that he knows will make Alec worry. When he sees Alec hurting, he can’t help but try to comfort Alec and to make their situation a little easier by putting on a front, putting on a brave face or retracting his feelings (i.e.: “Well I’m not!” *a few seconds later* “What am I doing?”).
This time, the mask slips. The brave and strong front. The whimsical man. The comedic relief.
Magnus knows he should be happy--"I’m one lucky man”--but that also means trying to pretend that he’s okay about the loss of his magic and--putting up a front is exhausting. Pretending is exhausting. This darkness hanging over him isn’t going to go away. He’s lost a part of himself. TWICE. Once, sure, was because he made the choice. The second time, well, was let go more reluctantly.
Iris says it clearly: they took her soul. 
Magnus feels like his soul has been taken. Magnus is lost. 
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carelessflower · 2 years
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magnus + the act of naming
cocktails: during a particular parts of his life, magnus took up bartending cause why the hell not, free booze, people and he get to name the random recipe he whips up. alec to this day still not believe all of Magnus’s story (suck bang and blow? seriously? i know you didn’t name this magnus stop trying to claim you did) 
people: magnus likes to regard people depends on his mood. terms of endearments when he’s in normal mood and passive-agressive diss when someone piss him off. there’s this entire week when he refuses to acknowledge jace as anything but duckface wannabe
family: though magnus uses terms of endearments regularly, there are some nicknames which he only reserve for his loved ones. magnus want to cherish his family as much as he can, let them know how dear they are to him
locations: warlock’s memory can be fickle so magnus keep a scrapbook, just in case his memory fail him. pages and pages of places and his own description underneath the pics. this is where i first met ragnor and cat, this is where i first saw baby max, this is where i married the love of my life
himself: picture young Magnus, bare and vulnerable to the brutal of the world, picking another name for him. name that would instill fear, name reminding him of exactly what he is capable of. now picture an older Magnus, with even more wounds and scars around his heart, choose to keep that name. Magnus Bane, great destruction, a reminder perhaps. to not lose his kindness, or else
tag list: @magnus-the-maqnificent @ahanahahaha @ukisteria @wtf-is-reality @sleepy-magnus @i-am-a-really-good-lawyer @sociallyineptbibliophile @queenlilith43 
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ketzwrites · 5 years
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So the angst for Malec this 3B was planned all along. I mean, I dont hate it, but there were times when it didnt make sense? Do you agree? I loved the malec reunion and engagement- it was everything we asked for but it feels like- they knew they wanted an engagement by the end of the season but they couldnt find a way to make it satisfying without the angst? Like the angst was needed in order to make for a happy ending? Do I make sense or Am I just being picky about the writing?
Do you mean the balance between angst and payoff didn’t work? Because I agree. There was too much angst for not enough inner growth. We should put the characters through hell but only if it leads for them to break through their limiting beliefs. There should be a cause-and-consequence link between suffering and growth. There wasn’t one. 
It also didn’t help that they went with Magnus going through depression. Not because it doesn’t make sense that he’d be depressed. It absolutely does. But TV is about characters being active and one can’t be active if they’re depressed. That’s why depression is such a hard thing to depict faithfully for just a season. You either end up crossing the line into “boring to watch” or, in the attempt of keeping up the pacing, you “cure” depression with one big scene when the character just snaps out of it and becomes active again.
Magnus’ depression was cured once he got his magic back. He even chastises Maryse for insinuating he was incomplete without his magic - which is exactly how Magnus felt through the entire season. Suddenly he’s annoyed someone would say something so absurd. But we never saw the process of Magnus coming to the conclusion that magic isn’t what makes him whole. 
Thus, it feels unearned. Nine episodes of suffering and sadness for a throw-away line. No payoff. Magnus’ big hero moment is against Asmodeus trying to turn him to the dark side. Awesome to watch, but it has little to do with the story of the season.
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buffyspeak · 9 months
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the thing is, alec’s response to magnus in 3.16 isn’t BAD, it’s just not what magnus wants or needs to hear answered. at least, not the full extent of it. alec’s unconditional love for him being laid out could never be a bad thing i don’t think, but he’s only really hearing one thing magnus is saying (which is essentially that alec fell in love with the high warlock of brooklyn and couldn’t possibly like him like this now) and his response to that is filled with genuine (and necessary! bc it is one part of the conversation they’re having) care as he tries to dissuade magnus from thinking it matters to him.
... but that’s uncomfortable for magnus, because it matters to HIM, and it matters a little bit that it doesn’t matter to alec. and this part is harder for magnus to put into words, harder for alec to understand in a way i’m sure magnus knows. bc it harkens back to the communication issues they were having in 3.05-3.06! and it’s that like. magic is a fundamental part of who magnus is, he doesn’t like or even know who he is without it, being without it feels BAD and unnatural, plain and simple. so for alec to stand there and list off the reasons he loves magnus (rather desperately, bc he’s getting panicked, as ya do) is NICE, but it kinda misses the point, or at least a very huge part of the point, of what magnus is trying to say. which is that he doesn’t feel like himself without magic, and i think it makes magnus more uncomfortable than he’d care to admit that alec doesn’t get or see that, that he implies (sort of unknowingly? it’s complex) that he doesn’t care about that. but of course, what alec means isn’t that he doesn’t care about how magnus feels - it’s that how magnus feels doesn’t change how alec feels about him!
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trans-magnus-bane · 6 years
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really quick excerpt from my latest trans magnus work:
He was not his mother’s daughter, but his father’s son.
i don’t know why but this like. really resonates with how i feel about trans magnus. like. 
when he thinks this, he’s thinking about his mom and what she might have thought of him, seeing him the way he is now, and how he’s actually more like his father.
there was the daughter his mother had thought he was, the one that never existed, and there was who he actually was. and when she realized what he was (not as in him being transgender, but him being--well, his father’s child, half-demon) she couldn’t handle it, and he no doubt blames himself for that up to some point.
and then he was taken in by his father, taught by him--he has his eyes, his magic, and arguably at some point he had his darkness. and that was about when (in this fic, anyway) he started transitioning officially. with his father’s help. so he kind of links that in his head--he’s not his mother’s daughter, “female”, innocent and human, but his father’s son--male, magic, demonic, and anything but innocent. 
(this also fits in my headcanon that magnus glamours his eyes brown to be like his mother’s eyes--his features reflect both his mother and his father, but he covers his father’s eyes with his mother’s. i could write an entire fic on that, tbh. i don’t think i’m the only one with this headcanon, but i still love it.)
obviously magnus linking his gender identity to his demonic parentage isn’t necessarily--what’s the word? right? there’s probably some elements of insecurity/self-loathing/internalized transphobia in there, which i understand all too well. but it’s still interesting, and yet another potential facet to a fascinating character. 
(who wants to bet this line sparks a whole other fic?)
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hikaru9 · 7 years
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About Harry Shum Jr.'s Magnus Bane
There are a lot of things I love about Harry Shum Jr., but whenever I see him in anything else beside “Shadowhunters”, it always strikes me how his Magnus is absolutely specific and very peculiar (and perfectly Magnus-like).
If you watch, even for some minutes, other shows or movies he starred in, like, for example, the first episode of “Single by 30” (available for free on youtube), or the shorter “Caper” (again, free on youtube), and if you know “Glee”, you will immediately understand what I mean.
As I said, there are a lot of things I love about his acting in general. Here are some aspects about the way he plays Magnus that I just LOVE:
Body language
Everyone already noticed this: it’s always a pleasure to watch him move. He’s basically dancing through the scenes without even specifically doing so, nor forcing it. Harry makes it so natural, it’s impressive. When Magnus moves it’s never sudden nor harsh; there’s always a softness in his walking or turning. When he just stands, his posture is very specific: his back is straight, almost arched but not too much; it’s a typical position in dancing, if you think about it (at least, I was taught so). He’s never hunched, his shoulders never drop, his head is always high.
All the details listed above make Magnus a graceful character. His movements are elegant, almost delicate. His clothes automatically need to mirror this aspect of him; hence his wardrobe is full of beautiful jackets, elegant shirts and fascinating accessories. It’s very interesting how, being immortal, he has to adapt his style through the centuries and how he probably never had any difficulties in doing so, thanks to his natural movements and posture.
Magic
The way Harry decides to perform Magnus’s magic is absolutely linked to the way the character moves. Thus, when there’s magic involved, Magnus is almost dancing. You can notice that in the way his legs and muscles balance him; how his torso shifts to follow the movements; how is arms are free to move, going wherever he wants to. I just love seeing hints of Harry dancing in there: it’s hidden but still visible and it’s amazing how he manages to find the correct balance between simply moving and breaking into dance. It’s never awkward, nor forced (no matter what Clary tried to show to AU!Magnus in episode 1x10); it’s still elegant and very Magnus-like.
Voice
His voice is one of the things that changes the most between his acting roles. Harry voices Magnus in a specific and completely different way from how he speaks normally or how he performs in other roles. Magnus’s voice is always soft. He never truly shouts, not even when he’s angry. He can be harsh if he’s upset but you can’t hear it in his voice per se: it’s more in the words he chooses and how he wants to deliver what he wants to say. He’s well-spoken as well; he’s usually direct but he can be evasive as well. Nonetheless, and no matter the situation, his voice is always soothing and warm and I just love that about Magnus.
Expressions in emotional scenes
I remember the fandom praising him during 2x15 and I couldn’t be prouder. Harry is always amazing as Magnus, but his emotional scenes are just incredible to watch. From the way he manages to make us understand that Magnus is closing off (1x12 or 2x12 until 2x15, for example), to the way his anger and upset show (2x03 or 2x17). Most of all, I adore how Harry manages to show Magnus’s surprise or disbelief when Alec does something unexpected (2x07, 2x10 and 2x20, all Malec scenes). It’s not a visible surprise, it’s not exaggerated nor forced. It’s the surprise of a person who got through so much and that at first doesn’t believe what he sees or hears. Magnus clearly needs time to process the fact that there’s someone loving him as much as he loves and that demonstrates how Harry understands the character perfectly. His surprise is a breach through Magnus’s walls, not a crumbling of those defenses. Alec is destroying them little by little, so Magnus is going through a new and unexpected experience, and I always find Harry’s expressions and behaviours on point.
Details
In the end, as I said once, it’s all about the details. This is probably the aspect I love most about Harry: nothing is done by chance, nothing is random; there’s always a purpose and a meaning behind every movement or emotional disclosure. We all know, through interviews and comments, how Harry works. He studies every detail and he manages to portray and gift us of everything he can think of.
Magnus is never still. Whether there’s a close-up or he’s in the background, if you follow him with your eyes, you will notice that Harry always does something. Maybe it’s Magnus sniffing a weird object; maybe it’s him gradually disappearing from the room to avoid a discussion; maybe he does funny faces to another person (or to Camille’s snake). Whatever he does, I know it’s never unintentional. And that makes his scenes so interesting to watch, follow and study carefully. There’s a joy in examining what he does and in trying to understand why he does it. When he plays Magnus I just love it even more, because he does everything I’ve ever imagined Magnus would do.
I’ll be forever grateful for this cast. But even more, for them to choose an amazing actor like Harry Shum Jr. to portray one of my favourite characters ever.
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