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fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma · 7 months

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You Don’t Have to Hide from Me - Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar)

Gen, Word Count: 2072

Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar)

In prison, distraught and tired, Mai opens up.

The prison floor was cold and dry, and disgusting. Mai had wanted to retch the whole ride there, and as soon as she was thrown onto the murky ground, bile travelled up her throat. Having Ty Lee there helped, though. She was sure of that, at least. Her relentless optimism wasn’t as present as usual, and that, to Mai, was more disturbing than the whole prison combined. Ty Lee’s eyes were downcast, and the accompanying smile to every comment she made to try and lighten the mood didn’t quite reach her eyes.

They leaned back against their cell wall, contemplative silence between them as the sounds of rattling prison cells and guards yelling clouded the air. Mai instinctively reached down to her pocket to play with her knives but groaned as she remembered they’d been taken away. Ty Lee eyed her with concern, but she didn’t say anything. There wasn’t much to say, really. They’d betrayed Azula and, by extension, the entire Fire Nation. Together.

That part had shocked Mai the most, how Ty Lee had so readily chi-blocked Azula. How she had stood in front of her, eyes glinting and wide and frantic. How she held her hand and told her to run—run with her.

Mai shook the thoughts off. She knew what they meant, that she had harboured feelings for her best friend for…a long time. She didn’t need them, especially when Ty Lee was her only true friend. (She would count Zuko, but their relationship was too much of a mess to consider him soundly as her friend.)

A soft hand was suddenly placed over hers on the floor, and Mai’s head snapped up to see Ty Lee looking at her. Her expression was difficult to read. Her eyebrows were drawn, and her mouth downturned, but a soft look in her eyes could be seen even in the dim cell light. Mai’s mouth briefly went dry. Ty Lee really was beautiful. Even with dishevelled hair and dirty clothes, she still managed to be the most radiant thing in the room.

Mai swallowed.

“You okay?” Ty Lee asked. Her voice was timid and small, and Mai hated the prison just that much more.

“Existentially or physically? Because not so good in terms of both.”

Ty Lee’s frown deepened, and she shifted closer to Mai. Their arms were pressed together.

“Mai… I don’t know what to do. Did we do the right thing? Betraying Azula like that? She is—was our best friend.”

Mai shot her a sharp look. “No. She wasn’t. She manipulated us. Real friends don’t do that. We did the right thing, even if the outcome is… less than ideal right now.”

Ty Lee didn’t look comforted by that. In fact, her eyebrows furrowed even more, her gaze on the ground. Mai turned her hand under Ty Lee’s and threaded their fingers together. She could allow herself that, at least. Friends held hands, and Ty Lee was upset. It was a simple gesture of comfort. Nothing else.

Ty Lee found her eyes again at the contact, and this time, her lips curled into a soft smile. Mai blamed the darkening of her cheeks on the heat of the prison cell.

“That was really brave, you know. Standing up to her like that. You must really love him.” Ty Lee’s smile faded minutely.

“Thank you, and…I do. But not in that way.” Before Ty Lee could comment, Mai continued, “I do love him. And what we had was…it meant something to me. But there’s a difference between loving and being in love with someone.”

Like how I feel about you, Mai didn’t say. Like how I wish you felt about me.

Ty Lee seemed to consider it before smiling up at Mai again, and it looked more like her usual one. “That’s so sweet. I’m sure he really appreciates what you did.”

Mai felt the corner of her mouth tick up. “He’d better. I risked my ass getting sautéed.”

Ty Lee’s giggles were enough to cure any disease, and Mai was in a trance. Her smile was more genuine as she shifted closer to Mai, lifting their twined hands to rest on their legs. There was a beat of silence.

“I’m also grateful, y’know,” Ty Lee said.

Mai eyed her, slightly confused.

“If you hadn’t stood up to her first, I would’ve never been able to.”

Mai opened her mouth to protest, but Ty Lee was quicker. “I’m serious. You make me feel brave. And I know that I’m brave by myself, it’s just…”

Mai didn’t try to interrupt her that time. She waited.

“It’s hard. To feel like I can hold my own when my whole life I’ve been surrounded by carbon copies of myself. It was like they were the better versions of me that I’ve never been able to have.”

Mai felt the exact moment her heart shattered into a million pieces.

She tried to speak, but Ty Lee carried on. “I always tried to be unique, tried to have my own skills. But they’ve always been better. And I…”

Mai felt her stomach drop when she saw, beyond the dark that surrounded them, a tear slip down Ty Lee’s cheek.

“I just want to feel like myself,” Ty Lee whispered. “Like I can be brave and strong.”

Mai squeezed her hand and shifted until their thighs were pressed close.

“I’m not great at feelings, but I am good at seeing through stupidity. Ty Lee, you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. And I’m not just talking about the fact that you can throw a punch. I’m saying that you’re strong emotionally, too. You put up with Azula’s mind games for all those years, still managed to find individuality in a house of people who looked like you.”

Mai pursed her lips. “You put up with me. Even though I’m dry and cold and haven’t cried since I was six.”

Ty Lee softened at that. “Mai…I don’t need to ‘put up with you’. You’re my best friend. My real best friend. I’ve never had to be anything but myself around you. And I love you for that.”

Mai’s heart clenched and shattered all over again because Ty Lee just didn’t know. She didn’t know how perfect and brave and strong she was, so that anyone who saw her would see it. How headstrong but kind and sweet she was, so you’d instantly fall for her.

Ty Lee was everything Mai wasn’t, and she’d never know how much Mai loved her back. Not the way that Mai loved her back, and that alone was enough to break her heart.

Mai tried a smile and couldn’t tell if it worked, but judging by Ty Lee’s shock, she’d say it did. “Thank you, but don’t change the subject. You know that you are brave and strong, right?”

Ty Lee was silent for a moment before her features relaxed, and a small smile spread over her face. “Yeah. I think I do. Thank you, Mai. For someone who isn’t ‘good at feelings,’ you really do know how to make me feel better.”

Mai rolled her eyes. “No. I’m not. I just think you take what I say too seriously.”

Ty Lee’s smile widened, and a small dimple appeared on her cheek. “Maybe I do. Or maybe you take yourself too seriously.” She poked at Mai’s shoulder playfully.

Mai knew it was meant to be a harmless remark, but it made her think of years standing still and silent beside a mother who always cared more about her job, status and appearance than her own child. Suddenly, she was back to being a stone wall of nothingness, staring at kids playing and shouting while she sat behind a desk, blank as her mother scolded her for anything and everything, insisting that as long as Mai did what they wanted, as long as she felt nothing, she’d get everything she wanted.

“Well, sorry I can’t feel any emotion besides indifference. Kind of hard to when you grow up with a mom like mine.” Mai turned away from Ty Lee before seeing the expression on her face.

“Mai, I didn’t mean—”

Mai turned harshly and cut Ty Lee a sharp look, silencing her. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve always been this way, so we might as well make fun of it, right? How funny that I grew up thinking that emotions were weakness and how if I showed any, it meant I was a burden of a child, and I was making my parents’ lives more difficult.”

Ty Lee looked devastated, and Mai hated every word coming out of her mouth, but she didn’t stop. “They’d always tell me how kids who cried and had tantrums were treated too nicely and that if I ever did that, I’d be ‘sorted out’.”

“So you were taught to be emotionless?” Ty Lee’s voice was soft and scared.

“No. I wasn’t taught. I was scared!” Mai was ashamed as soon as she said it and turned away from Ty Lee entirely, snatching her hand away and grasping her own arms.

To her horror, she felt her shoulders shaking and eyes stinging slightly. “I was scared, okay? Scared of what they’d think of me if they knew just how much I felt, scared of what emotions would do to me. Because I’ve seen what they do to people, and I—”

Mai felt a tear slip down her face, relief and pain at the same time. “I still let it happen. I still felt like I had to hide. Had to hide my feelings because it was easier than admitting that I had them in the first place.” Mai didn’t know if she was talking about her childhood or Ty Lee at that point, but it didn’t matter because she just said all of that to her. It was terrifying, but it also felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Just as another tear threatened to slip down her face, she felt a hand tentatively land on her right shoulder and turn her around.

Mai kept her eyes cast down, not wanting to face the embarrassment of seeing Ty Lee’s look of pity. A soft hand cupping her cheek made her look up, lifting Mai’s face to meet grey eyes.

Ty Lee didn’t have pity in her features, and it was instead the softest look that Mai had ever seen on a human being’s face. She registered how close they were and how she just needed to lean in a little closer to—

“Mai.”

She shivered at the gentle way Ty Lee said her name.

“You’re my favourite person in the world, and I wouldn’t want you to change anything about yourself. For anyone, of course, but especially for me. You don’t have to hide from me, you know that, right?”

Mai felt her heart clench, and her eyes danced across Ty Lee’s perfect face. When Mai’s gaze dropped briefly to her lips, Ty Lee hitched a breath and, inexplicably, leaned closer. Mai felt a surge of confidence as she leaned up, only hesitating for a moment to make sure that Ty Lee wasn’t moving away when she kissed her. It was soft and chaste but still the best kiss she’d ever had because it was Ty Lee, her best friend, whom she loved more than anyone. Mai reached around to place her hand gently on Ty Lee’s waist and rested their foreheads together.

“Is this alright?” She had to ask. Mai wasn’t a saint but forcefully kissing someone because you misread the mood was pretty messed up.

“Yes. Very, very alright.”

Mai laughed quietly and leaned up to find Ty Lee already there. That time, the kiss was more sure and more confident, and Mai wasn’t afraid of melting into Ty Lee’s touch as she stroked her cheek with her thumb. Her mouth was soft and warm, and even with the disgusting prison, there was nowhere else Mai would want to be.

The war wasn’t over, and there would still be work to do, but for the time being, Mai could allow herself this, the semblance of peace and calm that came with being in love.

And to have that love requited? It felt as though Mai was truly happy for the first time.

#mailee #mai x Ty Lee #mailee fic #atla #fanfic #fanfiction #I have never seen mailee fics with them as the main pairing #so I was like fine I’ll do it myself #this is my first time posting a fic so be gentle #<333

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