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tripthelightfandomtastic · 1 year

Text

Rebel Yell -D.R.W

Author's Note: I am so happy to finally be able to put this out, this story took me ages but I am so very proud of it. Am I projecting here? Maybe. But hey, I too am living for the single life.

Synopsis: A shitty party gets turned around after a playful game of spin the bottle.

Word Count: 8.5k (you asked for it!)

Warnings: 18+ MINORS NEED NOT INTERACT. Alcohol, mild violence, foul language, rough sex, choking, spanking, slight domination, oral, fingering, raw doggin’ (wrap it before you tap the hottest guy at the party.) Smut but make it Danny with eyeliner.

Pairing: Tattoo!Danny x Female Reader

Have you ever even been to a party where you had a genuinely good time? One without awkward conversations with people you hardly know, one that matches the high expectations for a night that only happens in movies, or one where you have a few drinks and don't feel like vomiting all over the friend's car that drives you home? Well, this is worse than any party you've been to so far. Mainly because you're fucking ex and his friends are here.

You pound the rest of your drink from the plastic red solo cup of Malibu and coke, who fucking made that anyway? It'll have to do until you can get a baker's dozen of shots poured for you to even think about being in the same room as him. The music is loud and obnoxious and the tile of the kitchen is sticking to the bottom of your Docs, but, at least you're in the clear. Looking around for a familiar face you find one of your girl friends you came here with, Summer. She's walking with your other friend who looks like she's had way too much to drink and is making a b-line to the bathroom. You do not envy them in the least, you would go and help but the anxiety building inside of your chest needs to be dampened with more liquor.

Pouring yourself a more than hefty amount of tequila in your cup, you slam the whole double (most likely double and a half) shot down. You cringe and squeeze your eyes closed as you take a breath. You groan as the alcohol burns down your throat when you meet eyes with a guy across the room, some very tall drink of water with long dark curly hair, you saw him earlier in the backyard puffing on a joint with some long haired hippie wannabe looking friend with a stoner laugh to match.

You hold his gaze a moment in the crowded room, you think you saw smudged eyeliner on him earlier and had to keep yourself from nearly falling instantly head over heels for the bad boy in the black leather jacket and Church of Rock N Roll muscle tank. The combat boots and ripped black jeans with the chain hanging off his belt wasn't helping your cause either. He sends a small nod your way along with a subtle yet confident smirk that lights you on fire. You can't help but smile back, you can feel your heart race in your chest as you look away, keeping your cool as best as you can. You've been told before that people can read your mind based on the faces you make, subtlety not being your best quality.

At least you have positive qualities, unlike your ex, Ryan. You had been dating for about two years, your longest relationship to date and your first real boyfriend. It started out great, he was super sweet and funny, gentle and interesting. But he got distant, so distant in fact that he would almost never reply to your messages or calls until it was too late and you started seeing each other less and less. It wasn't until you were out with friends to dinner one night when you saw him there with another girl. Long story short, they had been talking for a while and hooked up a few times, poor girl had no idea you even existed. So yeah, the lying dick head was here and grinding on every girl in sight.

Being single again after so long has been feeling so foreign to you, almost like you were doing something you shouldn't, forgetting you have no loyalties to anyone anymore. So fuck it. Tonight, you were gonna have fun and flirt your ass off. Why shouldn't you?! It's been almost seven months since your messy breakup with Ryan, might as well have some fucking fun for the first time in a while. And hey, if you end up having some stupid one night stand, who cares? You're owed at least one good orgasm that's not by your own hand.

The music is thumping through the house and you've had enough to really feel the music and let your body talk for you. You make your way over to the makeshift dance floor and sway to beat. Closing your eyes and just allowing yourself to let go of the anxieties you were holding on to. You meet eyes again with that curly haired guy again through the crowded floor, damn he's good looking. He takes a sip of his drink, eyes not tearing away from you as you sway your hips up against some girl behind you. She laughs and begins dancing with you, she spins you around and you get lost in the song, your eyes only flitting away to the guy leaning up against the wall who keeps meeting your eyes, his conversation with the three other guys he's with be damned.

The crowd moves to the kitchen as someone brings up the idea of playing spin the bottle. It seems like the whole party has decided to gather in the kitchen, to play or just spectate around the round dining room table. You stand at the table and your stomach drops into your shoes when your ex is almost directly across from you. You move to leave when the hot guy you've been eyeing all night stands right beside you.

"Hey." The tall drink of water says accompanied with a smile that makes you mirror his expression. "Hi." You reply almost shyly, he's quite intimidating to be honest, maybe it's the bone structure or his clothes but something about his warm brown eyes that makes you feel safe to talk to. "Big fan of spin the bottle?" He asks. "I've never played." You answer, fiddling with your rings, your eyes take in his appearance now that he's right in front of you, his smudged eyeliner making your heart skip a beat, fuck he's hot.

"The rules aren't very difficult, I'm sure you'll be a natural at it." He teases, a smile pulling at your lips as he gets a chuckle out of you. "Well, if anything, I think it's a great way to make friends." You counter flirtatiously that makes the man smirk. "I'm Danny, by the way." He says introducing himself, finally giving a name to the gorgeous face, you extend your own introduction when all of a sudden a voice rings out, "Alright, fuckers listen up!" A guy begins to shout, holding up an empty beer bottle. "I don't care if you're gay, straight or anything in between! A spin is a spin! So either play or don't." The guy finishes before spinning the bottle, starting the game. You exchange a look to Danny who keeps his ground, ready to play, come what may.

The bottle spins several times with no real wild kisses exchanged. You're nervous for when it will land on you. The empty Dos Equis bottle is spun and the girl on the other side of you gets a kiss, prompting your turn to spin. You take a deep breath before and your bottle is spinning rapidly, you're practically sweating as the bottle begins to slow, coming to a stop on the long haired stoner guy Danny was talking to earlier. He's cute, tall, tan, with a sweet disposition, why not? The crowd around the table "oohs" as the stoner walks over to you.

He gives you a small but gentle kiss, his hand on your cheek, he tastes like tequila and weed, he smells like cologne and his lips are a little dry, probably cottonmouth. The kiss doesn't last long but the excitement from the kiss makes you buzz with confidence. The guy gives you a wink before walking silently back to his side of the table. You take your place back next to Danny, he whispers in your ear, "I see you've met Sam." He jokes, "Well Sam's a pretty decent kisser." You smile back, Danny gives you a chuckle before he looks back at the game unraveling ahead.

The bottle spins and spins for a few turns, you and Danny quip back and forth, passing the time and flirting a bit as the game rolls on. Danny even gets landed on by a friend of his, some shorter long haired guy who joined him by the wall near the living room dance floor. It's short but kinda cute to see two guys kiss without making a big deal about it, but instead joking about, "Who hasn't kissed their friends before?!" The friend laughs before going back to his spot, saying something in a very drunk and very fake accent.

The bottle takes a few more spins, you watch uncomfortably as your ex kisses some red headed girl for a little too long and gets a little too handsy, only egging on the crowd. You roll your eyes, crossing your arms and standing awkwardly. Danny gives you a look, tearing his eyes away from the scene ahead. "Will these two just get a room already?" He whispers to you. You can't help but show an uneasy expression, Danny must sense your discomfort because he asks you very gently, "Hey, you okay?" You nod quickly in silence, offering no reply. You look over at him, almost ashamed, "That's my ex." You say with a bitter taste left on your tongue. "Oh. Well he seems like a real stand up guy." Danny comments with a sneer, watching as Ryan practically sticks his entire tongue in the girl's mouth. It's like a train wreck, it's awful but you can't look away. A red solo cup is held in front of your face, "Here. You need it more than I do." He hands you the rest of his drink. From the smell of it, coke and fireball, which you happily sink the rest down, you sigh with a slight cringe as the drink slides down your throat. Danny brings his hand to your back comfortingly, "Good girl." He praises. That phrase shouldn't affect you the way it does but holy hell do you feel like a whole new woman. The pair finally disconnects and the game continues on.

Your friend Summer appears behind you tapping your shoulder. "Oh there you are! Danny! This is my friend Summer!" You can already hear the semi drunkenness in your voice as you're introducing her to Danny. He smiles charmingly, "Hi, it's good to meet you." He introduces himself, "Oh, hi." She smiles, but you notice she's got her purse and your other drunk friend in tow.

"We're leaving, Mari is a mess and I'm tired. Are you coming?" She asks, her keys jingling in her hand. They are your ride, but your night just got interesting. Fucking carpooling. You look back at the table and roll your eyes as you come to the realization that the party for you is probably over. "I mean, um, I guess-" "If you want, I can take you?" Danny interrupts, "If you don't wanna go, I can drive you later if you like?" His offer hangs in the air for a moment as you look at your friend, speaking practically telepathically with the other if that all sounds okay to the other. "Yeah. That would be great actually. Only if you don't mind, I don't wanna put you out-" "It's really no big deal." Danny assures you with a smile. Your friend shrugs, "Alright then. Just text me when you get home, okay?" Summer smiles at you knowingly. You widen your eyes at her turning your head so Danny doesn't see your obvious smile as she walks away.

"You really don't have to do all that for me, I can take an uber or something later." "It's really no bother. Besides, I'd hate for you to miss out on having a good time. I think you deserve it, especially since that asshole gets to, I think it's only fair that you do too." Danny smirks as he motions to Ryan. You smile, your heart thumping in your chest with excitement at the idea of Danny driving you home.

The game continues on and the guy next to Danny gets a kiss from some girl and it's Danny's turn to spin. You make accidental eye contact with your ex who just chugged the rest of his drink while his buddies laugh about something. It makes you practically freeze in an almost anxious fear until you hear the spinning glass begin to slow on the wooden table. The last rotations make its way around until the end of the bottle is pointed at you.

You take a moment to even realize it's pointing at you, you look up at Danny, he wears a face of 'I'm down if you are.' A small smile pulls at your lips, this was exactly what you were hoping for when you joined the game. You step forward shyly, Danny brings a hand gently to your chin, "Let's give 'em a show, huh?" He rasps against your lips, only quiet enough for you to hear. You nod before bringing your own hands to his chest, letting him take you to his lips. His lips slot gently against your own, you move in time with his lips. His hands venture down to your waist, pulling you close to his body, he's so tall it makes you feel like swooning here in his arms. The crowd hoops and hollers loudly as you let him slip his tongue in your mouth, your nails come to his back, clawing into the back of his leather jacket. He smirks against your lips, his hands wander down toward your ass, but stays respectfully on your lower back. You bite his bottom lip, grinning as you meet his eyes again, they're darker than before and you want nothing more than to keep kissing him.

You almost completely tuned out the woo’s of the party goers around you until now. You smirk at Danny, knowing damn well you put on a good show, and knowing even more that he's a great fucking kisser.

"Fuckin' slut." A scoff sounds across the room. You turn your head fast to the voice the comment came from. Ryan rolls his eyes as he toys with his empty red cup. Before you can say a word, Danny stands up straight, "What the fuck did you just say?" He asks, his voice is deep, completely sincere in his question and it commands the room in a way that makes Ryan look in his direction. He scoffs again, the crowd hums with whispered excitement, "Just funny is all, a little desperate I think." Ryan says. "It's just part of the game, dude." Danny laughs. “Danny, really, it’s fine.” You say quietly, you gain his attention and he looks upset. “No, I think he’s a fuckin’ asshole.” Danny says to Ryan and the rest of the party. Ryan steps closer, his gaggle of idiot friends behind him making their way through to the side of the table by you and Danny. Sam comes up silently behind you and Danny, getting ready to jump in if the situation calls for it.

“I just think maybe she and I broke up too soon, especially because she was never that freaky with me.” Ryan smirks at you, his friends laugh at his statement. Danny bows out his chest and looks down at Ryan who is only a few inches from meeting Danny’s eyeline. “Maybe you should learn to shut your mouth before it really gets you in trouble.” Danny threatens, his jaw is clenched as he stares Ryan down. “I’m not talking to you anymore, I’m talking to her.” Ryan says as he tries to walk past Danny and toward you, you take a step back, Sam places a hand on your shoulder to help guide you away from your ex while Danny puts an arm out, keeping you out of Ryan's reach. “I have nothing left to say to you.” You say, anger and anxiety adding a tremble to your voice. “We don’t have to talk, baby, what I have in mind doesn't require much talking.” He quips, your stomach churning at his words. “That’s enough.” Danny says firmly, putting a hand on Ryan’s chest, keeping him in his place.

“Get your fuckin’ hands off of me.” Ryan shouts as he pushes Danny but he hardly even moves. “Then leave her alone.” Danny’s voice is deep and threateningly quieter as he steps even closer to Ryan. He smirks over Danny’s shoulder to you, "Oh come on sweetheart, just one last kiss, huh?" Ryan shouts at you. Danny shoves Ryan backward, he falls back into his friends. Ryan’s face twists into a furious scowl as he lunges towards Danny with his fist, but he’s too fast. Danny dodges the hit and swings, punching Ryan right in the nose. It spews blood as Ryan falls flat on his back onto the sticky kitchen floor, his hand comes to his face and his friends are too frozen in shock to do or say anything. A harang of people gasping and shouting and cheering echoes through the kitchen and it feels like time stands still until Ryan shouts, “You broke my nose?! You broke my goddamn nose!”

“Then get the fuck outta here before I break your fucking legs!” Danny bellows at Ryan, his stance is intimidating and large as he leans over Ryan. Scrambling to his feet, Ryan stumbles as he gets up and to his buddies and begins heading for the front door. “Have fun with my left overs, asshole!” Ryan shouts over his shoulder. “You son of a bitch!” Danny shouts as he lunges forward, making a run for Ryan but Sam’s long arms grab a hold of his friend’s large frame first before he can even make it out of the kitchen, allowing Ryan and his posse of douchebags to run out the door.

“Hey man, chill out okay. Just let it go.” Sam says, calming Danny down before letting go of him. Danny turns to look at you, his intense glare of anger in his eyes softening as they settle on you before him. “Are you okay?” His voice is soft as his hands hold your arms gently, bending a bit to speak to you.

You blink rapidly as you try not to let the tears in your eyes fall. “Yeah, I’m uh, I just need some air.” Your voice cracks before you turn and walk out the back door to the backyard, letting the cool breeze of the night wind calm the heat of your embarrassed face. You look up and stare at the crescent moon in the sky, taking in a deep, yet shaky, breath and you can’t help but feel absolutely mortified by the scene that just transpired.

Fuck Ryan.

Fuck parties.

Fuck this.

“Hey.” A voice says gently, almost nervously behind you. You turn to find Danny coming out towards you. You turn back around and quickly wipe your eyes as you keep your arms crossed and your eyes trained up at the sky, dark clouds moving over the night sky and through the light of the moon. "I'm really sorry about all of that." Danny's voice is soft as he comes to your side. The thumping music from the party inside only makes you feel like curling up into a ball, never to be seen again. "It's fine. He's uh, yeah, he's not nice." Your voice is like a whisper, trying not to let it break as you hold back the tears that threaten to pull you down with them. "No, no he's not. I'm sorry." Danny apologizes again. "No I should be sorry, I feel like that was all my fault in there." You say, shaking your head. Danny's hand comes to your back, prompting you to look at him, "None of that was your fault-" "I should've just left when Summer said so. I knew he was here, him and his fucking friends. I hate that you got dragged into any of that. You don’t even fucking know me!" You say with a bewildered laugh as a tear rolls down your cheek. Your words hang in the cool autumn air for a moment before Danny speaks. "I think I know you enough to know that you're a really great kisser." He says with a smile, knowing that would make you forget about the whole Ryan thing, if only for just a second. You chuckle as you dry your eyes, "Oh my God, how could I forget." You smile at him, you can see his features perk up as you finally meet his eyes. "Besides, Ryan just seems like the kind of guy who deserves a punch in the face." He smirks pridefully as he thinks back to replay the look of shock on Ryan's face when he hit the floor.

"It was kinda cathartic to watch the hottest guy at the party deck my ex in the nose." You smile playfully, turning to take in all of Danny's gorgeous face. He smiles charmingly, "Well, I'm just glad I got to kiss the hottest girl at the party." He muses before giving you a look that only makes you want to kiss him again, and again and again. You move to step forward but let your eyes wander to the house, a handful of prying eyes from the fight in the kitchen looking intently at you and Danny's conversation, only reminding you of how you wish you could be somewhere more private.

"If the offer still stands, do you mind taking me home? I think I've had about enough of this party." You ask, crossing your arms to warm yourself from the evening breeze that seems to blow right through you. A smile pulls at Danny's lips, "Yeah I think I'm ready to go too, I'd say we made quite the impression though." He jokes before turning to leave, you walk along with him and head to his car.

Your hands run up and down your arms, trying to preserve whatever heat you can keep from escaping your thin long sleeve shirt. Before you even really notice, Danny pulls his large leather jacket off and places it over your own shoulders. "There." He simply says. You smile to yourself before turning to him as you both walk, the whole thing feels like it swallows you up, the sleeves so long your hands aren't even poking through. "Fits you better than me." He jests with an endearingly sweet look, his smile is contagious and you can feel your cold cheeks warming from the blush on your face. You bury your burning face into the collar of his coat, relishing in the mix of musk and cologne of the well loved jacket.

The ride to your place isn't too long, the conversation is easy and soon you're pulling up to your apartment. The silence in the car is heavy as you think of what to say next. "So-" "Do you wanna come inside?" You beat Danny to the punch, interrupting him. He meets your eyes with a look of subtle surprise, "I'd love to." He says, his voice low and soft in the confines of the car in a way that makes the butterflies in your chest explode.

You show Danny up to your apartment, you close the door and take off his jacket, "Thanks for letting me wear your coat." You say before handing it to him, "What kind of man would I be if I let you freeze to death in the cold?" He jokes before taking it from you, hanging it on your coat rack as you both take off your shoes. You laugh before walking off to the living room, sitting on the couch, Danny follows suit and sits beside you. You both smile fondly and comfortably at each other, unsure of what step comes next. A familiar anxious feeling in your stomach begins to stir, one that could be described as really overactive butterflies when in such close and intimate proximity with a hot guy alone with you in your apartment.

You cut through the silence with a scoff. "For the record, I just wanna say, you're a much better kisser than Ryan." You smirk, Danny chuckles, "I'm sure Ryan lacked in several departments." He smiles to himself, crossing his arms in pride. You stare up at the ceiling and huff a sigh. "Ugh, you have no idea." You wish you could say you had been in more of a slut era than you really were since your breakup, but honestly, it's been dry as hell. "That bad?" He cringes, bracing himself. "He was fine, just, I don't know, kinda… boring?" You reply, shrugging as you try and gently explain how your sex life for the last two years was less than satisfying.

"How bad was it?" Danny asks, you search the ceiling for a moment, Danny stirs next to you, sitting up straight, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry-" "No no it's fine! He just, uh, he just wasn't very um, creative?" You explain vaguely. Danny chuckles, "Creative?" He repeats with a smile, "Just that it was very vanilla I guess? He never really wanted to try anything new or different." "Sounds like he was pretty selfish." Danny extrapolates. "Oh absolutely. If it didn't end with him cumming first, he wasn't super interested." You explain irritatedly.

"He's an asshole." Danny snarks, you just chuckle a knowing laugh. "Most times I had to use my vibrator later when I got home." You cringe with a chuckle as you recount the many nights you spent with a toy between your legs. "What would you think of?" Danny asks softly, "Oh." You pause a moment in anxiety at the idea of having to speak your innermost fantasies to this gorgeous man before you.

Here.

Alone.

On your couch.

You could feel the blush creeping in on your cheeks. "I uh, I liked to think about… ya know, getting tossed around, someone being rough with me." You confess, unable to meet Danny's eyes as you mess with the rings on your fingers. "Mmm, I see now. He was too soft? Too boring?" Danny speaks with a smirk that lights you on fire. "Y-Yeah, I uh, I'd bring up the idea but, he never really did anything new, maybe he thought it was weird?" You shift in your seat, ready to hear the judgment in Danny's voice. To hear the same put off tone like Ryan had. Instead, he places his hand on your knee, you turn to finally look at him.

"I don't think it's weird at all. I like being rough." Danny smiles, you can feel the wave of relief washing over you. "Yeah?" You ask. "Mhm, to take control, to have a pretty little thing under me, letting me touch her all over, kiss her wherever, grab her however I want. Hear how good she feels." His voice feels like silk as he speaks, warming you all over. You can't think of a single thing that isn't a kin to 'fuck me', so you stay silent. You look over Danny's lips, he smirks at you as he moves closer.

"Tell me what you've been dreaming of, angel, because I know I am a much better listener than that prick ever was." Danny grins, you can't help the hitch in your throat at the nickname. "Lots of things." You whisper. Danny smiles, his hand runs up your knee to your thigh, his large hand radiates warmth through your jeans to your skin beneath, fuck his hands are big.

He leans in close, his cologne flooding your senses, his breath fanning gently over your lips as he brings his other hand to your chin, his eyes holding yours. "Did he never pull you onto his lap? Spank you over his knee? Squeeze his hand around your throat a little?" Danny asks, his finger under your chin holds you gently, your face is flushed as he tilts his head awaiting your answer. "Never." You whisper, your eyes practically begging his lips to yours, instead he runs his hand against your cheek, his thumb softly moves along your cheekbone. "Would you like that? If I did?" Danny asks softly, a rasp in his words sends a delicious chill down your neck. You nod embarrassingly quickly but it makes Danny chuckle at your eagerness. "Words, angel." He smiles.

"Yes, I'd like that very much." You say, a slight shake in your voice, you almost don't even sound like yourself, you're so desperate. "Good. Because I think you deserve a good fuck." Danny pulls you in, a soft kiss at first, softer than the one at the party but it doesn't stay sweet.

Your hands come to his face, to his hair, wanting to touch him where you've been dying to. Your kiss becomes more desperate, his tongue enters your mouth, your hands tug at his hair, he groans at the pull, smirking as he breaks the kiss, “Oh angel, that’s my job.” He teases before kissing you again, his hands on the small of your back brings you closer to him, bringing you on to his lap, he captures your bottom lip between his teeth making you moan. He pulls away, allowing you to grind down to feel his already hardening cock in his pants, you whimper out a pathetic sound at just the feeling of him near you.

“You sure?” Danny asks, breaking the bad boy persona a moment as he reads your face, “Take me to my bedroom.” You sigh as you roll your hips against his. Danny sighs at the feeling of your movements before he huffs a small laugh, “Where is your bedroom?” He asks, you laugh, “Down the hall to the left.” You smile. With no hesitation, Danny stands from the couch, you wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you to your room, his hands holding you close to him as he makes his way down the hall.

Your room is warmly lit, a gentle glow from your fairy lights and salt lamp you left on, Danny sets you down on your bed before looking around the room, “Cute.” He simply states, making you roll your eyes.

You go to take your top off, “Wait.” Danny interrupts, you stop your hands, dropping the material of your sweater. “Come here.” He says, you smile in response as you make your way over to him, clambering off the bed and standing in front of him. Danny brings his hands to the hem of your sweater, pulling the material over your head and off to be discarded to the floor. “Pretty girl.” He smiles, a rasp to his voice makes you blush as you stand before him in your bra. He undoes the button of your jeans, pulling them down your legs until you stand before him in just your underwear.

You stand before him, his eyes scanning your half naked figure, he gives you a ‘come hither’ motion with his finger, you walk up to him, your doe eyes looking up at him as his hands come to rest warmly on your sides. “So pretty.” He whispers, his voice bringing goosebumps to your skin. His hand trails down to your panties, his fingers running over the already dampened material. You sigh at the touch, “Mmm, already so wet for me. Aren’t you such a good girl?” Danny praises, his lips right against your ear as he speaks, your heart nearly jumps out of your rib cage at his words. “Just for you.” You breathe, Danny smiles, kissing your neck.

He pulls away, his hands come to his own shirt, pulling his church of rock ‘n roll tank top off, tossing it alongside your own discarded clothes. You watch astounded at the beauty of his body, the dark ink of the tattoos you never saw are revealed as he peels the tight black jeans from his body, leaving him clad only in a tight pair of black briefs, the outline of his dick takes your breath away.

Danny pulls you to him in a gentle kiss, he pulls away after a moment, taking you by the hand and leading you to the bed. He sits on the edge of the bed, he pulls you on to his leg, you sigh at the contact. “Wanna watch you ride my thigh, show me how bad you want it.” He says, his hands on your hips, pulling you down onto his muscular thigh, making you whine.

You roll your hips down against him, a moan rolls out of your throat as you grind down, you place your hands on his shoulders as you move, his hands come down to your ass, dull nails digging into the softness of your muscle. “That feel good, angel?” Danny asks teasingly, you offer a hum as you chase the feeling building up in your lower stomach, “Tell me baby, tell me how you feel.” He smirks, his grip tightening and pulling you to rock against him harder and faster, “Ah, fuck, so good.” You whine. “Yeah?” Danny asks, his hand coming down hard on your ass, you yelp out in shock, the stinging a delicious blend of pain and a euphoric sensation that only makes you wetter. “How good?” He asks, looking at the way your eyes have widened and the way your mouth hangs open, his hands gripping tightly, “So fucking good, oh god.” You cry out.

Danny brings his hand behind your back, unclipping your bra and pulling you closer to him, his lips latching around one of your nipples. You moan as you rock back and forth on his thigh, his teeth grazing your nipple, his other hand gripping the small of your back, encouraging you to move. The wetness in your panties and the friction on your clit against Danny's muscular thigh, feels like nothing you've ever felt before. He pulls away from your chest, his hands pull you to him as he flips you onto the bed and lies you on your back, manhandling you and laying between your legs. He kisses you hard before sitting back on his heels, a shining wet spot on his thigh tattoo catches your eye, making you blush. “You need it bad, huh, baby?” He teases, grinning at the wetness on his thigh.

"God yes." You sigh. He looks so dreamy under the lights like this, like an angel with his curly hair catching the warm lighting from the salt lamp. The golden hue makes his skin look so soft and warm and you cannot wait to feel him. "Then let me give it to you." He smirks, his hands come down to your panties, he gives you one last look for permission that you immediately grant him before pulling them down.

You can’t stop the instinct of closing your legs out of shyness as Danny tosses your panties to the side, Danny laughs a moment at your coyness. “Oh, baby, don't act shy now. Spread your legs for me, sweet girl, show me what a good girl you are.” Danny’s voice makes you sigh, no one has ever talked this way to you before, you keep your eyes on him as you slowly open your legs. Danny’s eyes travel down to your glistening core and subtly palms himself over his briefs, only making you wetter at the sight. “Fuck angel, you are dripping.” His voice laced in seduction as his hands come to your thighs, spreading you wider.

“So fucking gorgeous, all laid out for me. I want a taste.” His proposition makes your eyes widen. “Fuck yes please. I haven’t…” Your voice trails off making Danny look at you with an air of confusion, “Haven’t what?” Danny’s voice in that perfect mocking tone that makes your brain hazy. You can’t help but blush and look away before answering him.

“I um, I’ve never really cum from… oral before.” You confess. Danny almost looks pained by your statement. “Never?” he asks as his hands softly wander up and down your thighs. “My ex didn’t do that much.” You say nervously, Danny brings his hand closer to your core making your breath hitch, he leans in close to you, his face inches away from your own, eyes boring into yours. “With a pussy as perfect as yours, I don’t see how he wasn’t between your legs all hours of the day.” Danny whispers as his hand slowly glides down to your center, you sigh as his fingers bring your wetness up and around your clit, making you moan. Danny smiles as he watches your expression change as his fingers roll slow wide circles over your clit, your mouth hanging open.

“Let me take care of you, pretty girl.” He says softly before kissing your neck, down your chest, your stomach, kissing his way down all the while his fingers play with your clit. Danny lays down on the bed, he watches as his fingers make a mess of you. “If it ever becomes too much, just say Metallica, that’s the safeword.” He explains, you simply nod. “No angel, I need to hear it. Be a good girl and repeat it so I know you understand.” “M-Metallica, yes, I-I understand.” You stammer out, “Good girl.” Danny grins before kissing your inner thigh, heading closer until he removes his hand from your clit. You take a deep shaky breath as Danny’s breath warms over your folds, his warm tongue licking languidly up to your clit. You sigh a moan as he takes his time, licking slowly along the sensitive bud, your hands clawing at the duvet beneath you.

Danny’s mouth moves faster, lapping up at your soaking wet pussy. He moans against your core, making your back arch, “Fuck, Danny.” You moan, Danny brings his hands to wrap tightly at your thighs, gripping you to him, holding you in place as he eats your pussy. The delicious sounds of Danny’s mouth makes you whimper at the beautiful lewdness of it all. “So fucking sweet,” it was muffled but you just barely registered it from Danny, like it was never even meant for you to hear but you did and fuck that was hot. “Oh fuck, holy fuck.” You cry out, your eyes rolling back in your head as you clutch tighter at the balled up comforter beneath your writhing body.

Watching as Danny’s mouth works over you, the way his large hands hold you open for him and the way his nose nudges against your clit as he tongue fucks your weeping pussy has you moaning and your legs shaking uncontrollably. The prideful smirk you catch on Danny’s features makes your breathing more uneven than before, because he is so fucking good at this and the way you’re moaning is making him want you to cum even more. “Oh god Danny. Fuck, I’m gonna-oh fuck I’m cumming, oh fuck.” You moan out as Danny latches his lips around your clit, sucking on the bundle of nerves that has you clawing onto anything that can hold you as your orgasm takes root in you. Your hands come to Danny’s hair as your hips attempt to buck, but the firm grip he has on your thighs, move to your hips, pinning you down as his tongue fucks you hard and fast into the most intense orgasm of your life.

Danny’s name and a string of other expletives fill the air until you’re hit with a wave of pleasure so hard you can’t make a sound. Your body goes rigid, your grip in Danny’s curls is tight and rough, only making him groan against your core which feels like it's sparking like a live wire. Then something inside of you snaps and you can breathe again, uneven and labored breaths as you try to make sense of the bliss you just felt from this man you’ve only know for a matter of hours could make you feel like this, a million times better than a guy you were dating for two years could have ever dreamed.

His tongue slows to a stop as you come down from your climax, “H-Holy shit.” You huff out, you're in awe and just staring at your ceiling. If that’s what he can do with just his mouth, then you have to know what else he can do.

You sit up and look at him with a look of insatiable lust. He smirks as he sits up and wipes the shine of wetness from his lips and chin with the back of his hand. “Oh angel, you look like you need more.” He teases as he sits up on his knees, the very prominent outline in his briefs pulls your attention away. “Please.” Is all you’re able to say. “I saw you sizing me up earlier, baby. I know you’re not as innocent as your boy toy thought you were.” Danny grins as he moves closer to you, his hand resting on the thigh of your spread legs. He moves to take his briefs off, you’re practically drooling as he pulls them off. His cock springs up and slaps against his stomach, “Fuck.” You whisper, a thought that wasn’t meant to come out.

Danny moves closer to you, his fingers coming to your core, you almost jump from the enhanced sensation from between your legs. His fingers dip inside you a moment, you sigh out, your breath making Danny’s curls sway against his face from your proximity. “Show me what a good girl you are.” He whispers before pulling his fingers away and bringing them up to your lips. “Taste how sweet you are.” His voice sends chills across your body. Your eyes don’t leave his as you present your open mouth to him, sucking on his slender fingers. You hum against them, tasting your own arousal from his fingers. You open your mouth again, allowing him to pull away, but he doesn’t.

His fingers rest on your tongue, “Such a good girl.” Danny whispers, he experimentally pushes his fingers back in your mouth, further back. You don’t dare break eye contact as he slowly runs his fingers in and out of your mouth. “Pretty little slut.” He smirks as you gag around his fingers, your eyes water, but you don’t retreat. “Suck.” He commands. You do as you're told and suck on his middle and index fingers, he sighs at the feeling. You release them with a ‘pop’, Danny smiles as he watches your face when he brings his fingers back down to your pussy, teasing your clit before pressing back inside of you.

You can’t help the moan that rolls out of your throat at the feeling of him filling you up. “Mmm, you are so tight.” Danny rasps, he moves closer to you, prompting you to lay back, his fingers slowly pushing in and out of you. He envelops you into a kiss as he makes work of you. You moan against his lips, grinding down on his fingers, your eyes fluttering closed at the feeling of him grazing your g-spot. “I know baby, I know.” He teases you as he continues finger fucking you, his pace speeding up a tad. His hardened cock lays against your thigh, you whimper as his fingers move faster. “You need it so bad, huh, baby?” Danny’s voice sends a chill over you, “Mhm.” You can’t even speak it feels so good, playing your body like he’s done it so many times before, so intune with you for absolutely no reason, it makes your head spin.

“I wanna hear you say it.” He says, your eyes look at him, almost shyly. “Yeah, I wanna hear you say it. Hear that innocent little voice of yours ask for what you want me to do to you.” He smiles devilishly, the sound of your wetness all over his fingers fills the room, making you want him even more. You move to speak, but his fingers curl up inside of you making you moan, “Oh fuck,” You whisper to yourself, trying to get yourself under control. “I-I want you.” You say, Danny just chuckles, “Oh sweet girl, you’re gonna have to ask a lot prettier than that.” He teases, he adds his thumb to the mix, rolling over your clit as he finger fucks you.

“Mmm, fuck. I-I want you to fuck me.”

“Not even a please?”

“P-Please, Danny. Please, I wanna feel it. N-Need to feel it, fuck me.”

Danny thinks for a minute to himself, a smug smirk on his face, “Yeah, that’ll do.” He grins before kissing you, his fingers pulling away as he puts himself between your open legs. You hum against his kiss as you feel his hardened cock resting against your warm core, begging for more. You buck your hips against him, hoping and praying he'd understand how much you need it. He smiles against your lips, "Oh yeah? That bad, huh?" He teases. You open your mouth to protest but whimper as he slowly taps the head of his cock against your needy clit. You look at him with eyes of dismay, shocked how your body reacts with a jump with every touch like this. "Like that, baby?" Danny speaks in a way that makes you practically buzz with excitement. "So much." You whisper.

Slowly he presses inside of you, both of you moaning at the stretch. It feels like a wave flowing through you, from your scalp down to your toes. All you need in this moment is him. "Fuuuck." Danny's voice waivers as his eyes close, "So fucking wet for me." "Fuck baby, just for you." Your voice breathy and small sounding as you rake your nails down his back, making Danny sigh in your ear. His hand comes down to your thigh, pulling it over his hip, gripping so tight you pray it leaves bruises, wanting some sort of proof that this pleasure wasn't some fleeting dream.

The angle is so deep and you can't help the way he's making you sound. Your nails gripping into his back and pulling him closer to you. It's all so fuckin perfect, you've never felt this good, so all consumed by desire and a euphoric pleasure that takes you under like the wave of tsunami. His breath cascades over your cheek and you can't help the way you wish you were the only oxygen in his lungs. "Fuck, Danny." You moan out as he speeds up his pace, the head of his cock grazing against your g-spot in a way that has your legs spread even wider for him. "So good angel, so fuckin good." He practically growls as he moves faster.

A moan rips through you and you're clawing at the sheets beneath you, your hands detach from the linen and take root in Danny's curly hair. He groans at the pull, the way your nails scrape through his scalp. You're so close to the edge, the way he's pounding inside of you and the way the bedframe slams against the wall of your bedroom makes your eyes roll back in ecstasy.

Your eyes slam open as the presence of a large hand presses against your throat just right. "Look at me baby. Want you to look at me when I make you cum." Danny's voice is so raspy and commanding you can't help but say, "Yes, sir." It must have sparked something in Danny because the way his eyes glint in the golden light of your bedroom leads you to believe you must have stumbled upon something. His pace quickens and his hand on your throat closes tighter, your eyes roll back and a devilish smile pulls at your lips as you completely surrender yourself to Danny.

The building pressure inside of you has you moaning against Danny's strong hand surrounding your throat, making only a weak and broken whimper come awkwardly tumbling from your mouth. Danny releases his grip on your throat and instead holds your wrists down to the bed as he fucks you. "Let me hear it baby. Come on, angel. Be a good girl and cum for me." He whispers, his own voice shakes as he's barely holding on to his own climax. Your moans are so loud and Danny's name falls so easily from your lips, crying out for more and for him. He watches intently in your eyes, feeling the way your pussy flutters around him, and the way you can barely keep yourself from moaning as you cum hard around him.

Your climax makes Danny practically collapse against you, letting go of your wrists and opting instead to hold you close to him, both of his arms encircling your waist, hands grasping to your back. His nose presses against your neck as he groans, your name like silk on his lips as his hips stutter and slam back inside of you, cumming so deep.

The two of you lay this way for a moment, both panting and searching for something to say, but you're both practically fucked so stupid you can't form any notable shit to say. Your pussy flutters around him, both of you moan exhausted at the intense shock waves that course through you and to him. Slowly and gently Danny pulls out of you, you whine at the loss of him and the way you can feel his cum leaking out of you so deliciously. "Uh where's your bathroom?" He blushes as if he weren't just choking you and fucking you senseless. "Uh, yeah, uh right down there." You chuckle as you point to the door that leads to your en suite bathroom. He returns with a clean washcloth and helps clean you up, a thing your ex never once cared to do for you. Your heart swells at his tenderness with you. He returns to your bed, motioning you to come closer.

You waste no time as you rest your head on his chest, looking at the tattoos that intricately swirl in dark ink over his body. His warm hands hold you close, your leg over his, soft fingertips run over his ribs. "That was…" You trail off, blushing as the words evade you. "Yeah, that was everything." Danny smiles, hands gently caressing your back.

"I've never felt that good before." You confess. "Never?" Danny asks surprised, you shake your head. "I could've guessed, you really weren't lying." Danny smirks. "Can we, um, do this whole thing again sometime?" You ask looking nervously up at his big brown eyes. His eyes light up innocently, "I don't think I could make this a one time thing if I tried." He smiles, his arms subtly hold you tighter.

"Wanna stay the night?"

"Baby, I'll never leave if you keep holding me this way."

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bulkhummus · 4 months

Text

I have some thoughts about episode 240 and I'd like to share them all with you here.

[Long post under cut]

I've been thinking mainly about the VHS tapes, and the idea of them being this kind of legacy that one has to hold on to, before giving them up and letting them become a memory.

And with that, I'm thinking about the literal physical act of cutting the cord after swiftly announcing who you are. Cutting the cord is an idiom for becoming independent. In broadcasting (TV or otherwise) it's dropping a channel you no longer want to view.

Kevin announcing to the town who he was, and then subsequently cutting out the broadcast in one fell swoop not only declares his independence, but also takes control right back. To cut the cord implies, to me, no longer being defined by that of what one has been defined by for eons.

An ancient radio host.

A man who has wandered the desert for centuries.

Given everything we know about Cecil and Kevin's relationship, and the animosity, and then perhaps vague understanding later on, it is no wonder that Cecil was the one to make the boy confront who he is. So much has happened to Cecil since he last saw Kevin. Angels are real. He's a father. His town has been explained away and brought back to life. Cecil doesn't give him a choice to turn his head away.

Cecil, who so rarely has the opportunity or ability to truly confront who his is, seeing a young boy in front of him asking the same questions, looking in dire need of an explanation, and instead of telling him, Cecil makes him confront it. Cecil's job isn't to explain, it's to observe, report and offer perspective.

So I'm thinking about Cecil as a father, who was once himself a child abandoned by his mother, giving this child, despite who it clearly is, the chance to come into his own, even if its terrifying. And I wouldn't even be bringing this up if it were not for the beginning bit at the episode about Tamika worrying about the knife the boy was holding. Cecil's calm, "Well, is he doing anything with the knife? Has he hurt anyone with the knife?" is so..... parental in a way that Tamika hasn't had the time to really cultivate herself yet.

Carlos seemingly, once again, was aware of something before everybody else and chose to stay silent. Some things some people are meant to discover on their own, and perhaps Carlos knew this, but I also think Carlos was once again afraid. Cecil has had eons to become comfortable with not understanding the truth, where Carlos has only had about two decades (or one, depending on how you want to view it) to become accustomed to it.

The beauty of this episode is that I feel like it is about the anxieties of being a parent. And it did it so beautifully without ever directly saying it. Think about it.

You have Tamika unsure but trusting her instincts, you have Carlos encouraging curiosity despite what it may entail, and Cecil, letting the boy define himself despite his fear.

In a very dramatic, reversed horror story trope, Cecil allowed Kevin to define himself, despite what that's going to entail. He doesn't know if it's going to be anything good, but that's the risk you take as a parent. I'm not saying that Cecil is Kevin's parent here, just to be clear, I'm saying symbolically speaking, sometimes we have to let people make their own choices and be their own people, and sometimes they end up doing bad things or making bad choices and we have to live with that. Sometimes it's not our place to step in. Sometimes we are just an observer, it's not our job to change the story, but to simply let it unfold.

That's the job and the anxiety of being a parent, of a person, of a friend, of a reporter.

The beauty of this episode is that it's a rebirth. And we've been given hints over the last handful of episodes. The murals, the children worshipping, the snake god (Cecil's whole bit about being swallowed by a snake in episode freaking 1) of Carlos un-explaining the town, the car crash on Buellton Avenue, of Lauren even saying (episode 237) "Because to ignore our past is to destroy our future. I hope you don't have anything in your past that you have not atoned for, Kevin." etc. All of these themes have been present.

So, to go back to the tapes and of legacy, and how legacy can be traded off for the relief of memory. These two people, once solely defined as their position at their station, have diverged.

The last time Cecil and Kevin were alone in a studio together (physically, and if memory serves) Cecil was taking back his station from Kevin. In episode 48 Cecil even says, as a one off, "Don't run with knives". Since then, Cecil has had the opportunity to really create roots elsewhere, to set aside a legacy and create memories, all we have heard of Kevin (recently that is) is him being subsumed by Lauren who, might I add, kept making him call her 'Mother'.

And now, here we have Kevin, cutting the cord, cutting out the broadcast, not as a double, not as a replacement, not as his past or his future, but as Kevin.

#its kevins era we're just living in it #sorry for typos im not rereading this again #wtnv #welcome to night vale #wtnv 240

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loubouskz · 2 years

Text

I'm used to it

mafia!bang chan x vet!reader

description: you come home to see your best friend and roommate, felix, is not home yet. not unusual...til it hit 4am. your worries were answered when you heard banging coming from the front door. only open the door and have a lot change in a short amount of time.

warnings: mafia!skz, two gun fight scenes(one major & one minor), reader has and anxiety attack & passes out, wound & blood to one character, pet names(mainly sweeheart), smut, unprotected sex, oral(fem & male receiving), shower sex, out in the open during oral so slight exhibition, dirty talk

wc: 6,000+

a/n: i forgot i had this in my google docs. I finished writing this month's ago and remember thinking it wasn't that good. reading it back now, I think it's pretty good, plus it's the first fanfic that has 6,000 words. but this was my first time trying to write gun/mafia...those kind of things so it may not be so good in those areas.

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coming home to an empty apartment was a common occurrence due to lee felix, my best friend and roommate, having a busy schedule at work. I too, have a busy schedule that makes me come home from 11pm to 1am, depending on what’s happening. today I came home at 12am, exhausted from working with animals all day. but this time it was strange, he didn’t text me like he usually does so I don’t worry myself out. I just thought to myself, ‘he most likely just got caught up and forgot to text.’ it happens every now and then, but it was very rare. I changed out of my nurse clothes and put on my favorite hoodie and sweats. I grabbed a snack from the kitchen and watched a random movie that was on tv.

by the time it was over with an empty bowl next to me, it was pitch black and almost 4am. I opened my phone, hoping to see a text from him. nothing. he’s never been out this late before. I quickly being to dial his number and brought it up to my ear. hearing it ring, over and over and over again, but no answer. “come on, lix. answer the phone.” I said, trying it again. still no answer. I got up from the couch and pacing back and forth. it’s not like him to just let the phone ring, he’ll either send it to voicemail or send an automatic message that he can’t talk right now..

I tried to call felix for a 3rd time, by now the clock was reading 4:23am. I would go to his work to check on him, but we share the car, since we live so close to where I work- so I walk. bang chan, the man who is a one mean workaholic. I’ve met him a few times, along with some of felix’s other co-workers. he has a cold exterior, but warms up to certain people, especially the boys that work for him. I just think his a dick, making all of them work such long godforsaken hours. a really good looking, attractive dick. him and I only got along because of felix making us. sometimes I wish I could just smack him.

I shook my head as I remembered I had his number. ‘for real emergencies only, do not call me to talk. okay sweetheart.’ I heard his voice ring in my head. I rolled my eyes and hesitantly clicked the call button, hoping he would answer. it went straight to voicemail. “what the fuck!” I said, trying not to yell too loudly as the walls of my apartment are VERY thin. I tried felix once more, before going to my room. still no answer. I let out a frustrated sigh, trying to calm myself down. maybe I could walk to his job. yeah right, its on the other side of the fucking town. that would take all day to get there. I sat on my bed and tried to call felix for the nth time, but pounding from the front door stopped me. I shot up and ran to the door, hoping it when felix.

I opened the door to a horror scene you’d see in the movies. there was felix, looking half dead, bleeding from his side with his arm slung around chan, who was covered in blood as well but seemed fine. chan had a sheer look of pain on his face as he pushed his way through me into my apartment. I backed up, not saying anything out of pure shock.

“close the goddamn door, y/n!” chan yelled as he headed to felix’s bedroom. I jumped at his voice and closed the door quickly. I ran to them and stopped in the doorway of the bedroom, watching chan remove felix’s bedsheets then felix’s shirt. chan laid felix on the bed and turned to me. “don’t you have a med kit here, go get it.” chan demanded. I went to the bathroom closet and pulled out the med kit and ran back to chan. I entered the room and went over to felix, seeing the nasty open wound up close. “what happened to him?” I asked, looking at chan.

“not the time! just patch him up fast, we have to go!" chan said, pulling out a gun from his waistband. my eyes widened, flicking back and forth from him and the gun. “chris, he needs a doctor!” I said, raising my voice at him as he tried to leave the room. he stopped in the doorway, gave me a death look for saying his other name. "do not call me that right now y/n, I’m serious. you know how to stitch right?" he said all in a hushed voice. "yeah! on animals, i'm a vet!" I said back at him.

"just hurry, stitch and patch him up! we don't have much time right now!" chan said as he exited the room. I looked down at felix and pushed his hair out of his face. “lix, did he do this to you?” i asked quietly. he shook his head, “no, he didn’t. I promise. but right now, just listen to what he says okay?” he said weakly. I nodded my head as I opened the med kit and grabbing the gloves to put on. hopefully it won’t be to much different stitching up, I prayed. I began to work on felix as quickly and carefully as I could. “I’m gonna be okay y/n. it won’t be the first time.” felix laughed out, before coughing at bit. “shh, just stay silent for now lix.” I said, looking into his eyes for a brief moment.

chan entered the door again along with someone new, who also had a gun in his hand. “you almost done?” chan asked, coming up behind me. I nodded my head, not wanting to stop what I was doing. the new guy ran out of the room before quickly coming back. “chan, they can’t hold them off any longer. we have to go.” the guy said as I placed the patch on felix’s now closed up wound. I taped it down and sat back once I was done. “I’m finished.” I said, looking up at chan. chan looked over at the guy, “get him and take him to the car.” he said. the guy came over and picked felix up and quickly left the room.

chan was about to leave but noticed I was still sat on the floor. he grabbed my arm and pulled me with him. “come on. we gotta go, sweetheart.” he said as we rushed to the front door. he let go of my arm so I could slip back on my shoes. he opened the door and looked carefully outside and before exiting the apartment with the gun in his hands. he nodded his head for me to follow him. we went out the back staircase and down the back alley. “where are we going?” I asked, he didn’t answer me.

we were about to exit the alleyway, but as chan peeped around the corner and gunshot went off, making him jump back into me. I jumped and covered my ears with my eyes fully shut. oh, this has got to be a nightmare as I heard multiple shots start going off. I felt an arm go around my waist and pull me into them. “stay close to me.” chan whispered in my ear as he sandwiched me against the wall. wake up y/n, its all a bad dream. a very real dream. I felt my tears forming as I opened my eyes. chan carefully peeked his head out and shot his gun at whoever was shooting at us. he pulled back and looked at me, his hard stare softened as he noticed the state I was in.

“hey, you’re gonna be okay. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.” he said softly. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. “please get me out of here, I feel light-headed, gonna pass out.” I whispered as I felt numbness course through my body. “stay with me, y/n.” he said, as he held my body weight. “guys where are you?” chan asked into the air. I heard a slight voice coming over something, that’s when I noticed the ear piece. another round of shots started as a screeching sound of vehicle came to a stop. chan leaned out and shot a few more times, “come on, I got them!” I heard someone say, along with shots being fired. chan pulled back and looked at me, giving me a nod. like I knew what it meant. “we’re gonna run to the car, okay sweetheart.” he said, I nodded my head the best I could.

chan pulled us away from the wall, he moved me to the right side of him. I looked straight out and saw a big black van with a side door open, with one person out shooting and another holding out his hand. “ready?” chan said, still holding me by the waist. I nodded, wanting this to all be over. don’t pass out yet y/n, get to the van first. I watched as the guy waved their hand to come on and thats when we went. “duck!” chan called out as we ran out. it felt like time went in slow motion. bullets flying everywhere, I could barely hear. I felt chan pick me up slightly and throw me in the van. I fell on the floor of the van and stayed there, not moving, not because I wanted to but because I couldn’t. I felt my mind fog up and numbness, the last thing I remember was chan looking at me before he hopped in the van.

I woke up in a room I’d never seen before. I sat up carefully, not wanting to get light-headed again. the sun was fully out now, but I couldn’t tell what time it was. maybe it was all just a bad dream and I woke up from a one night stand, I said trying to convince myself. that was short lived as chan walked into the room. “oh you’re up.” he said, holding a glass of water and a plate of food. I didn’t say anything and just stared at him. chan sighed and looked down before making his way over to me. he sat the stuff on the end table, “this is for you, minho made it. you may or may not remember him, but you met him before.” he said, sitting on the side of the bed. he turned his head to me, “how you feelin’?” he asked. I didn’t give him an answer. “okay, what do you want to know?” he asked, looking at the ground. I scooted up so my back would be against the bed frame. “all that happened last night was real.” I stated, making chan nod. “what happened? why did it happen? why did everyone have guns? I thought everyone was working? why was there a shootout at my apartment?” I asked, all the questions that flooded my brain.

chan straightened his back a bit before answering. “well to start off, everything I’m about to tell you is true. not a joke, alright?” he said. “okay.” I answered, bringing my legs to my chest, “we were working. it went bad and felix got hurt. we are in an organization called stray kids, I know you’ve heard that name before and what it’s about.” chan said, looking at the wall, his eyes dancing along the frame of the paintings in the room. he’s right, almost every other week the news had something to say about them for the last couple of years. one word kept ringing through my head. mafia. they were apart of it. my best friend felix is apart of the mafia. I could feel the air leave my lungs. “we were in a meeting but it was all a ruse, they were planing on killing us. we got split up, felix got hurt and seungmin, our med guy, wasn’t with us. I was in a panic and thought of the next person I could go to, which was you.” he said. chan turned back to me, “which was so sutpid of me because now I put you in this dangerous world that me and the boys live in.” I didn’t know what to say, it was all so overwhelming. chan stood up and fully turned to me. “what do I do?” I asked, looking straight into his eyes. he sighed once more, “we have to stay here for a bit, till its safe enough for you to go back to work.” he answered, “you’ll be safe here in this house. I promised I’d keep you safe, right?” he said. I nodded at his question. “and that’s what I intend to do. now eat before your food gets to cold.” chan said before leaving the room.

I grabbed the water and chugged half of it down. I stared at the food before grabbing it. god, how long we will have to stay here, I wondered.

two months go by. a very long two months. the boys doing the busy work that they do. with nothing for me to do, I clean and help cook food, though they have stated over a hundred times that I don’t have to. “well, it helps past time.” I told hyunjin once. it started to feel like home almost, in a strange way. hanging out all together somewhere. playing games or laughing at funny stories of childhood.

today, most of the boys were out of the house. only felix, jeongin, chan and I were ‘home’. we were all in the living room but jeongin- probably in the bathroom or something. having a normal conversation about old memories. we had gotten to the topic of crushes and dating. I had brought up to chan that felix had a crush on one of our teachers growing up, making chan laugh.

“I mean he was pretty hot though!” felix said, making me push his shoulder. “felix, remember your talking about our 9th grade history teacher!” I said with a shocked face. “okay and..” he said, rolling his eyes. “I’ve never made sense of why some students had crushes on their teachers.” chan said, sipping the drink he had in his hand. “thank you!” I said, looking at him. I turned back to felix, giving him a look. “well at least I’ve actually dated people and not pretend that my giant stuff animal was the love of my life.” felix said with a smirk. “you fucking bitch, you said you’d never say that in front of people.” I said, swatting him on the back of the head. “at least I don’t have a crush on lil’ binnie.” I said, mocking felix who jaw dropped to the floor. “how the fuck do you know that?” he asked. “please, it so fucking obvious. following him around, cuddle up next to him, always being the first to help- even when he doesn’t need it.” I said. “yeah, it really is, felix.” chan stated with a big grin.

“ya know, to be honest when I first hung out with you two I thought you were dating.” chan said, making us look at him with wide mouths. I turned my head back to felix and we both started laughing. “I would never date her, I like guys more than girls. I wouldn’t even kiss her to save earth.” felix said, almost falling off the couch. I couldn’t even say anything because I was laughing so hard. “what don’t like guys, y/n?” chan asked. “no, she does. just doesn’t talk to people enough to date them.” felix said, wiping away his tears.

“yeah, most of the guys I’ve talked to, were just huge dicks so. eh.” I said, looking back at chan once I had calmed down enough. he raised his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side. “what chris?” I asked. he made a face and shook his head. “nothing.” he said. “oh what about you. who were your old crushes? have you even dated anyone mr. workaholic?” I sassed. chan narrowed his eyes at me as felix oo’ed at us. “she got you there chan.” felix said, chan looked at him to make him shut up. felix got up, “I’m just gonna go hang out with jeongin if I can find him. have fun.” felix said, winking at chan. felix knows something is up, that only him and chan knew. we watched as he left the room as the silence got loud.

“to answer your question. of course I’ve had crushes, only dated once back in school.” chan said. “aw, that’s cute.” I said, putting my hand up to my chin. “you can stop with the attitude.” chan said, sitting up as he placed his arms on his knees. “and what if I don’t, what will you do chris?” I challenged, making him laugh. “you don’t want to know.” he said. the air in the room thickened as we had a stare off. “sounds like a pussy move to me.” I said, giving him a smile before standing up. I tried to leave to the room to go calm myself down. it felt so hot because of him.

“and where do you think you’re going?” he said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest, which to my surprise he was standing now. he towered of me with a mean glint behind his eyes. I felt butterflies dance in my stomach. I looked up at him with wide eyes. “what? cat got your tongue sweetheart?” he asked as his other hand went on my back. “no, I can talk just fine.” I said, trying to push him away but failed. he chuckled and swayed us side to side, making my face feel warm. “you know, there is a reason why I let you call me by my other name.” chan said. yeah, he always got onto the boys for saying chris, but never towards me and I’ve always wondered why. I tilted my head to the side as he looked me. “and what’s the reason?” I asked, making him smirk and look away.

“what were you, me, and felix just talking about?” chan asked as he placed his hands on my waist. “about our crushes. and you still haven’t talked about yours sir.” I said, poking him the chest. he laughed once more with his head back, showing off those cute dimple of his. once he was done, he just looked at me. “because I’m already talking to her.” he said, scanning my face. I froze with a shocked look on my face, jaw dropped and wide eyes. “you like me?” I asked, to which he simply nodded to. “why? I didn’t think my body type was something you like.” I said, looking down that my thick thighs and tummy fat. “I don’t care about you weight, I just like you. why does anybody like anybody? but I’ve liked you since I’ve gotten to know you, especially since we’ve been here.” chan said, bringing his hand up to my cheek. somewhat I leaned into his touch and smiled. “well good thing I like you too.” I said, making him smile even more. he leaned in but stopped halfway. “can I kiss you?” he asked. “please do.” I said.

then his lips were on mine, instantly making me feel twists in my stomach. I could taste the bitterness of his drink on his lips- which had cracks but still were super soft. I pushed my hands to his neck and gripped his hair. chan moaned into my mouth at the feeling, pulling me as close to him as he could. I felt his tongue on my bottom lip, wanting to get in my mouth. when I didn’t let him, his hands slid down to my ass and gave it a firm squeeze. I gasped, making his tongue enter between my lips. his tongue exploring everywhere it could, while fighting my tongue for dominance. he pulled away, kissing the side of on left jaw, down to my neck.

“god, I’ve wanted to touch and taste you for so long now.” chan groaned out, sucking and biting harshly at my neck. “chris.” I moaned out quietly, bringing one hand down back to his chest to grip his shirt. he slowly brought his hands up, dragging my shirt with it. I shivered as his cold hands touched my warm back. he kissed my collarbone before bringing his now red lips back to mine. he pulled away and made eye contact with blown out eyes filled with lust. I leaned into his neck and started doing the same thing he did to me. “shit.” he said as he brought one hand to the back of my head.

after feeling up each other, I trailed my kisses back up to his lips. “I want you. so bad.” he said into the kiss. “have me then.” I whispered. he instantly grabbed the back of my thighs and laid me down on the couch. he hooked his fingers under my shirt and pushed my shirt above of boobs. he moaned, kissing down my chest to the hem on my pants. he quickly unbuttoned them and started to slowly pulled them down, along with my underwear. once they were off, he brought his hand to my core. rubbing firm slow circles around my clit, before dragging one finger down to my entrance. he pushed a finger into me, watching my reaction to make sure I liked it, slowly leaning his head down.

“please don’t go so slow, chris.” I said, pushing my hand through his hair and slightly pulling at it. he chuckled as his lips came in contact with my clit, while thrusting a second finger into me. I moaned as he picked up the pace, feeling him curl his fingers. I clenched around his fingers every time he brought his tongue to my clit. “fuck channie.” I moaned out. chan quickly gently slapped my inner thigh with his free hand, making it jiggle. “I only want to hear chris come out of your pretty lips, got it.” he said as he curled his fingers, finally finding my g-spot. “yes chris. fuck!” I moaned out loud as I gripped the side of the couch tightly, he smirked and continued his work on my body.

“I want you to cum for me sweetheart.” he said, leaving love bites on my inner thighs. I arched my back, feeling the pressure of my high getting closer and closer. “harder chris.” I said, pulling his head back to my clit. he laughed as he licked my clit again. I groaned as he put more pressure into his thrusts, keeping it at the same speed. “come on babygirl, I know you want to cum so bad. cum for me baby.” he said, dragging his tongue around my clit. i felt the knot brust hard and my mind go fuzzy as I chanted his name like a song. he slowly pulled his fingers out and pushed his tongue into me, making me clamp my big thighs around his head. chan just continued, lapping up all my juices as he hands came to my thighs to hold and caress them. “god, I love your cunt.” he said in a deep aussie accent. I whined as he licked up to my clit.

he climbed over me and kissed me again, making me taste myself. “do you think you can handle more?” he asked, as he held my hand that was close to him. I nodded, leaning up to kiss him even more. I knew I was never going to get enough of him.

he pulled away to pull off his shirt but was interrupted by his phone ringing in his back pocket. “shit.” he said, sitting up and pulling out his phone. he answered the call and watched his face turn cold fast. chan stood up and walked to the other side of the room so I wouldn’t hear the call. I sat up and watched him. either the boys who were out got into some trouble or something really bad happened…or about to happen. “okay.” chan said, before quickly ending the call. “get your pants on, go to my room, and do not leave unless me or one of the boys come get you.” chan said, pointing to me before going to the base of the stairs calling out to jeongin and felix.

I got up and pulled my pants back up around my legs.

“what’s going on?” felix asked as they ran down the stairs. I stood beside the three of them. “the rest were on their way back and noticed a car following them too late. they’ll be here in 2 minutes.” chan said, as they walked to the door. jeongin ran to the meeting room and grabbed the three of them guns. as I started up the stairs, I turned around. “what if something happens to me if I alone in the house?” I called out. chan had already opened the front door and was about to walk out. “go, I’ll be out there shortly.” he told the boys. chan jogged back to me as I started up the stairs again.

we entered his room, I stopped in the center of the room as he went to his dresser. he bent down and opened the bottom drawer. “come here.” he said as he pulled out two items. I walked over to him, watched as he showed me both. a knife and a gun. “keep both on you, you can use either one.” he said, putting the knife with its sheath on my body first. once it was clipped, he showed me the gun. “it should have three bullets in it, the safety is on.” he said, explaining quickly to me how to use it properly. “hopefully you won’t have to use either.” he said, standing up and handing me the gun. chan kissed my lips before leaving the room. “lock the door behind me and remember do not let anyone in unless it me or the boys.” he said as he closed the door. I ran over and locked th door and turned around to look at his room. then I heard the first round of shot go. I slid down the door and sighed, it’s going be a long late afternoon.

and I was right about my words. the sun was already fully down by the time the other gang had backed off. I stood up when the shooting had stopped and placed the gun and blade on the dresser. I walked over to chan’s bed and sat down. waiting for the boys to come in. I heard the door slam closed and chan’s loud voice letting them what to do.

“lee know. changbin. take him downstairs. everyone else check the area, keep sure their gone. once that is done, y’all can get cleaned up and do whatever.” I heard him say as he voiced got louder. I stood up and walked over to the door as chan knocked on the door. he entered the room and quickly started removing his shirt, throwing it in the corner.

“you okay?” I asked, watching him closely. he unbutton his pants, sliding them down his legs. “yeah, I’m fine,” he said, turning to me. I’m sure he could see the blush on my cheeks as I tried to look away so I won’t stare at him or his dick print. he walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. bringing his face close to the right side of my face. “join me in the shower?” he asked right in my ear, smirking as he felt me shiver. I nodded as he squeezed my hips. he grabbed my hands and brought me along with him to the bathroom that was in his room.

the shower was running, fog surrounding the closed off room. we weren’t in the shower yet. chan has lifted me up and placed me on the counter, lips meeting mine. he hands going under my shirt, groaning at how soft my skin felt. the room just making us feel even hotter and more needy for each other. chan quickly pulled my shirt over my head, kissing down my chest. he tapped on my thighs, “lift your hips baby.” he said, wanting to pull off my pants and underwear. I grabbed the back of his neck and brought his lips back to mine.

I used my other hand to lightly scratch down his chest. down to his crotch, grabbing it firmly. “fuck baby. get on your knees, I want you to suck me off.” he said, pulling down his underwear. I hopped off the counter and sat right in front of his already half-hard cock. I would say he was a little above average in length and slender. I felt myself clench as I took him in my hand. he groaned as he threw his head back. I took him in my mouth, using as far as I could go. I hollowed out my cheeks as I bobbed my head, swirling my tongue each time I pulled back. “shit, who taught you to suck dick like a slut?” he asked, grabbing my hair. I moaned around him as he guided my head faster on his cock a few times before pulling me off.

he held out his hand and helped me off the ground. once I was standing with him, I turned around so he could take off my bra. his hands, slowly went up my hips. to my waist. my back straightened up as I felt his fingers. up and up before taking his time unhooking my bra. he kissed my shoulder before looking at me through the mirror. “let’s get in the shower babygirl.” he said.

I sighed as I felt the warm water hit my skin, feeling relaxed already. chan turned me to face him and leaned down to kiss me. “I need you.” he said, lips never leaving mine. I putting my arms around his neck as he lifted me up and pressed me to the cold shower wall. shivers went down my back. “put me down you’re going to hurt yourself trying to hold me.” I said as I wrapped my thighs around his hips. “no, I want you to take my cock like this.” he said, taking hold of his cock and pushing inside me.

we both moan at the feeling. “I know you can take my cock like a big girl.” chan groaned out and he started thrusting his hips ups. “oh chris!” I moaned out. the sound of skin slapping together, slicened by the water. chan groaned in my ear, kissing my neck. I leaned my head back, loving the feeling of how his cock was hitting deep inside me.

“fuck, you’re so tight around me.” he said, moving my body up and down to meet his thrusts. I cried out as I felt my high approaching. “talk to me baby, how good am I making you feel?” he asked, bringing his head to mine. I opened my eyes, that I didn’t know were closed until I met his. “you’re making me feel s’good chris. I love how deep you are. god, I’m gonna cum!” I said, clawing it his back. he hissed the the feeling, bringing his hand down to my clit. “be a good girl for me a cum.” he said. I felt my orgasm rip my body, he held on to me tightly as my legs unraveled.

he thrusted a few more times, before taking me off him and placing my feet on the ground. with an arm around my waist, he jerked himself off. cumming over my stomach and thighs. “shit.” he moaned. I leaned up and kissed him again, wanting to feel his lips. i pulled away a little bit, lips hovering of his.

“does this mean I stay here? with you and the boys? because I wouldn’t mind helping seungmin, being his assistant.” I said, he laughed. “you’re stuck with us baby.” he said with a smirk, kissing my lips once more. “I’m already used to it.” I mumbled, racking my hands up his chest.

“okay let’s hurry and get cleaned up.” chan whispered, as he felt the water turning cold.

after the shower, we took our time getting dressed. chan threw on a shirt and some sweats. I slipped on a shirt of his and a [aor of leggings. “let’s head downstairs.” chan said, walking to the door. I followed him out the door and made our way downstairs. all the boys were sitting around, watching a disney movie with a few of them holding beers in their hands. “oh wow, manly men watching a very manly movie.” I said, sitting next to felix. “yes, moana is a very manly disney movie y/n.” jisung said, rolling his eyes as everyone laughed. “where’s minho?” chan asked, looking around the room. “he’s making dinner.” seungmin said, pointing to the kitchen. “alright.” chan said as he made his way to sit next to jeongin.

felix leaned close to me and in a hushed voice, “so how’d it go?” felix asked. “how did what go lix?” I asked. “did chan not tell you?” felix asked, looking at chan then back to me. I wanted to laugh, but kept it in. “tell me what?” I said, tilting my head at him. “guys shush, my favorite song is coming on!” hyunjin whined as the song started to play. I glanced at chan, who was already looking at me and smiled before looking at the tv. tamatoa was singing shiny. I leaned back and enjoyed the rest of the movie.

“dinner is ready.” minho called out from the kitchen as the movie was ending. the boys cheered as we all got up and headed towards to delicious smelling food. “I’m so hungry.” jeongin said. the boys agreeing and being loud. chan waited for them to walk past and waited for me to catch up. chan gave me a wink then continued to walk the kitchen with me by his side. half the boys already sat down and quickly making plates. felix glanced at us before looking back at the food. he paused and snapped his head back to us and smiled brightly. “chan got something to tell us!” felix said, basically jumping in his seat. I made my way to an open chair and sat down with blush on my cheeks. everyone’s heads turned towards chan as he just laughed and shook his head. chan sat down next to changbin across the table and a few seats down from where I was.

dinner was passing with ease. drinking, eating, laughing. chan and I shared several looks to each other. “something’s going on between y/n and chan.” jeongin said out of no where and everyone stop what they were doing and look at the both of us. “I knew something happened!” felix said, putting down his chopsticks. “and why do you say that jeongin?” chan asked, not lifting his head from his food but eyes staring at jeongin. “because I saw you two in the living room. I came down to grab a bottle of water and saw something…happening.” jeongin said with a big smirk. my and everyone’s jaws dropped, but felix who jumped up from his seat. “you finally said your feeling to her!” he said excitedly. “alright, yes I did. now hush.” chan said, leaning back in his seat. “wow, chan’s got a girl now, didn’t think he would get one first.” hyunjin said. “congrats old man.” seungmin said, making everyone laugh. “okay I’m done with dinner.” chan said with a big smile. chan got up and started walking away. he stopped at the door and turned back to everyone and locked eyes with me. “you coming sweetheart?” chan asked. “yeah I am.” I answered, standing up and meeting him at the door. chan leaned down and kissed my lips, making the boys go wild again as we walked away laughing.

yeah, I’m already used to it.

#bang chan #bangchan #bang chan smut #bangchan smut #skz smut #stray kids smut #skz #skz imagines #stray kids #stray kids imagines #skz fluff #skz x reader #skz x y/n #skz mafia au #stray kids mafia au #bang chan mafia

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skz-streamer · 8 months

Text

Solace - Sfw

COLLAB W @cherry-edibles NSFW VERSION

Pairing: Skz x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort,

Warnings: mentions of death, crying...lmk if there's anything else

Notes: Hi Hi!!!! Bae here :) so cherry and I decided to do a collab cause she writes smut and I write fluff n stuff...idkkk I dont like posting smut on this acc so her ver is linked above :)

Summary: You hate your annoying roommate Hyunjin, but after what happened…maybe you find solace in him.

-please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people

Full word count ~1.2k ;)

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You live with Hyunjin, and to be honest, he’s a pain in the ass. He's always teasing you and annoying you, like a persistent fly buzzing next to your ear. But despite your feelings, you have to suck it up and live with him because you both share an apartment. You don't really know what he does, and you don't really care. Your focus is mainly on your college workload. All you know is that he trains at some entertainment company or something. Whatever.

"I'ma head out," you say, preparing to take Kkami, the dog you both love equally, to the vet. Kkami has been feeling sick recently, so you both decided it would be best to get him a check-up. You walk out of the apartment, with Kkami happily wagging his tail by your side.

"Sure, keep me posted," is all you hear as you exit through the door. You're determined to take care of Kkami, even if it means putting up with Hyunjin's irritating presence for a while longer.

You drive your way over to the vet, gripping the steering wheel tightly, trying to convince yourself that everything is going to be okay. But deep down, you can't shake off the nervousness that is pulsing through your veins. As you park the car and step out, you take a deep breath, hoping it will steady your racing heart.

Entering the vet's office, you take a seat, your leg bouncing up and down rapidly, betraying your anxiety. The minutes seem to stretch into eternity as you anxiously wait for the vet to emerge from her office, carrying the weight of the verdict you so desperately need to hear.

Finally, you hear the click of the lock on the office door, and there she is, the vet, her blank expression a stark contrast to the warm smile she wore when you first met her. You try to maintain your composure, mustering some confidence even though your heart feels like it's about to burst.

As she speaks, her words hit you like a tidal wave. "He only has a week left, and he is in deep pain right now," she says, her voice filled with empathy. "You can either choose to put him down or wait. Take your time in making this decision."

The weight of her words crashes down upon you, threatening to break the fragile composure you've managed to hold onto. You can feel tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to stream down your face, but you fight to keep them at bay. This is not the time to break down. This is the time to be strong for your beloved companion.

Nodding your head in acknowledgment, you thank the vet for her honesty and advice. You rise from the chair, your legs feeling weak, but you steady yourself as you make your way back to the car. As soon as you close the door behind you, the floodgates burst open, and tears cascade down your cheeks.

Sitting there in the driver's seat, memories of all the moments you've shared with Kkami come rushing back. The joyful walks in the park, the endless cuddles on the couch, the mischievous games of chase. Each memory tugs at your heart, reminding you of the irreplaceable bond you've formed.

Through the tears, you reminisce about the times when Kkami's playful spirit brought laughter into your life, the times when his comforting presence helped you through your darkest days. It feels as though time is slipping away, and the weight of the decision hangs heavy on your shoulders.

Eventually, as the tears begin to subside, you wipe your cheeks and take a deep, shaky breath. You know that you will cherish the remaining moments with Kkami. With a heavy heart, you turn the key in the ignition and drive away from the vet's office.

You somehow manage to drive back to your apartment, adrenaline coursing through your veins, and you burst through the door, slamming it shut behind you. The loud slam echoes through the apartment, startling Hyunjin, who was lying in his room at the time. He instantly jumps up and walks out of his room, following the sound to find you crying in a mess on the floor.

Hyunjin wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about you, he liked you but he also didn’t want to lose you as a “friend” he wasn’t sure why he teased you. Maybe it was because he loved the cute faces you made while rolling your eyes, or while scrunching your nose every time you sighed. But as soon as Hyunjin saw you in such a fragile state on the floor his brain immediately stopped working and his heart gained control over his body.

Kneeling down beside you, he sees your hands covering your face, your hair a tangled mess in front of your tear-stained cheeks. The sight of you like this is something he has never witnessed before, and it breaks his heart. As the realization dawns on him that Kkami, his beloved dog, is not with you, the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. His eyes well up with tears, but they come spilling out no matter how hard he fights them back. You look up to see that Hyunjin is also crying. What was once an annoying happy face now turned into a confused teary one makes you wail even louder.

Gently, Hyunjin tries to calm himself down and takes hold of your trembling form. He guides you towards the couch. You shift your entire body weight into him, your tears creating small dots on his shirt. He sits you down on the couch taking a seat next to you. You hiccup through your sobs, looking up at him with red, puffy eyes. His eyes stare deep into yours, even though no words are being spoken it seems like with a simple look a whole conversation was exchanged. He reaches out his fingers and tenderly wipes away your tears, only for more to flow freely down your cheeks. His hands cradle your face, providing a comforting warmth and a sense of security.

Between the pain of kkami and this current situation, life feels like an ongoing torment. You've reached a point where even the simplest acts seem daunting, and the weidght brings forth more tears. It's overwhelming. You try to focus on Hyunjin, to discard all the thoughts that disrupt the peace you once had.

Now, as you stare a fleeting glance at him, you can’t deny the undeniable attractiveness that emanated from his features. His eyes, perfectly placed on his face, drew you in like magnets, while his nose complimented them in a way that seemed almost too perfect to be real. And those plump lips, oh, how they captured your attention. They were so tempting, so inviting.

Hyunjin pulls you closer, enveloping you in his warmth, and you welcome it, desperate for solace. Breaking away from the embrace, you meet his gaze. His expression carries a mix of concern, worry, and tenderness, all wrapped in his gentle warmth. Your attention drifts to his lips, slightly bitten in nervous anticipation. The sight makes them appear even more enticing, fuller, and more inviting. And in that moment, you decide to act on your impulse. You lean in and kiss him.

Taglist: @eee5533 @mixtape-racha @ren0325 @felixvsp @hwangchu @sanriiolino @painstakingly-juno @herarcadewasteland. @dabiscrustyfeet @kai-lee08 @sungiesoonie @slvtty4channiee @revelaffee @interstellarairwaves

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dreamtydraw · 6 months

Note

alright, i'll bite nsjxjsjdndndn

tell me more about valentin! what does she like to do? and the step 2 identity crisis! :]

WELL THANKS YOU FRIEND FOR ASKING !

Yeah, this post took me a while- but to be honest, it’s because I needed time to start writing it.

If you’re new or don’t know my account, hi, I’m gonna talk about my OC Valentin and the complexity I decided to give them. I have previously at multiple time gave informations about her as a character, mainly in her character design analysis but you are free to simply read this post or not because it will only focus on her step 2 crisis.

Valentin Second and the childhood of someone who wanted to feel pretty.

Valentin likes her hometown, they like being the center of attention, he likes ice skating, she likes her mom, and his sister, her French accent, her mole, her fancy scarf, his new friends, chocolate cake, bunnies but what they truly like

Being complimented.

Valentin is Hyperactive, they get an ADHD diagnostic early in her childhood and balance her energy in her adventures with their friends.

At the opposite of his sister Valentin became popular quite fast. They seem to talk with everyone he meets and she’s an intriguing little one.

Valentin learned early about gender norms and how she was allowed to simply change them, lie to people with their 10 years old wisdom and the the fact that constantly changing could be fun. She doesn’t care how her approach to her identity seems to others because it’s something they still view through childish eyes. It get tensed up when it catch him up in puberty.

Valentin is Amab and life won’t always treat you the same, she’s learning it the hard way. Young valentin spend a lot of time online and is confronted to not only transphobia but what will serverly impact their life : The social media cult of appearance.

It’s like a rabbit hole. You see pretty characters from your favorite show, they all look nice, and you see pictures of real people looking like them, and they look nice. The pictures of pretty people multiply and you envy their look and how everyone likes them.

Wanting to be pretty enough, Valentin settle on being a girl in her tween year, believing she should stop her childish game and focus on « passing »

She wants to be pretty but not just pretty, perfectly flawless, the kind of girl who people gush over on social media. It’s only the rise of Instagram and tumblr but she’s here, daily obssessing on her appearance to the point she’s not living her own life and it makes her miserable.

There is a complex mix of her needs of validation, insecurity, dysphoria, anxiety, and fear of judgment that constantly play in her head like an old record. The sad part ? It’s not that noticeable.

Everyone is going through their problem and when yours is trying to be too perfect, a lot of people will see it as something good, a nice goal perhaps.

Worse in that, Valentin loves ice skating. This sport is her passion but there is something horrific about seeing how ugly you look in the middle of the wild range of pretty teens in their sparkly costumes. Her own passion complexe her, she dosen’t feel good enough in anything nothing is working like she wants it to and it eat her alive.

Sometimes it all slip up. In the car with her mom, at a sleepover with her best friend, or in the middle of an argument with her sister.

She just doesn’t feel well

And don’t know how to feel better about herself.

Jealousy is ugly,

She would rather cry in her room every night than admit that she hates how pretty everyone looks but her.

She hates how everyone is doing well when she’s not, she despises everyone for no reason and she hates herself for being such a bad friend.

She just hates herself.

She doesn’t like herself.

It’s hard when you’re 14 and you can’t like anything.

Sometimes people who you like and who likes you back will reach a hand, but you are too selfish to take it. You’ll thank them, and say everything is alright now when in reality you are still upset. Brush it off, they’ll stop asking one day.

Perhaps one day you’ll be honest.

However, for now, you would rather be pretty.

#doodle #my art #my oc #olnf #our life now and forever #olnf mc #Valentine second #olnf oc #dreamty's ramble #ask about my oc

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trivialbob · 2 months

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I am back home from vacation in Isla Mujeres. Sheila is staying a few more days. We know other visitors on the island. Sheila is hanging out with them this week.

The Island is a 25 minute ferry ride from Cancun. It is about tourism, but not at all like being inside an all-inclusive resort. Many folks we ran into visit Isla for several weeks at a time and stay in small condos or rooms.

(A bit long, with pictures, below the cut)

We rented a two-bedroom place in a small, four-unit building. It was at the north end of the island. That's where many of the American and Canadian visitors stay. But locals live there too. From our roof we could see the family next door, cooking and putting out their laundry to dry. Our door is the blue one in the bottom left picture.

Some US hotels I've been at lately don't offer daily changes of sheets and towels. "For the sake of the environment," ya know. Our modest place in Isla included fresh sheets and towels every day in addition to full room cleaning. It felt luxurious.

More local people live mid-island and to the south end. However, visitors rent places all over the narrow island. A couple we know has the equivalent of a studio apartment mid-island for two months at $600/month. A realtor would call it "Very cozy." I liked it.

That couple has bicycles they store there for when they come back each winter. They also rent a golf cart from time to time to drive around the island, as many visitors do. Some Americans and Canadians purchase places instead of renting. Some beautiful, modern houses dot the island.

One of the first things I did upon arrival was slather myself in SPF 50 sunscreen. My pasty white head and back made the soft, white beach sand look like black pepper in comparison. The sunscreen worked well. I have only one small patch of burned skin where I missed covering a spot on one ankle.

You won't find chain restaurants here. The few banks and gas stations have familiar names, but that's about it for big brands.

Warning signs are few and far between. Servers bring cold beer to the beach, in glass bottles. This was my fourth or fifth visit and Sheila's 12th. We've never seen or heard someone break a bottle. There are no lifeguards at beaches or pools.

When crossing roads, cars, golf carts, and scooters seem to have the right-of-way over pedestrians. Sidewalks are rough and uneven. You learn to be careful and pay attention. At times soldiers and police patrolled the streets with rifles. We felt secure the whole time, even while walking in dimly lit local neighborhoods.

One resort-like place where we hung out at for a few hours has a pool with concrete seats and tables in the water. A server, seeing me cooling off in the water, asked if I'd deliver a glass ashtray to four women sitting at table in the pool.

Smoking isn't allowed inside bars and restaurants, thank God. Unlike the US where that's just understood, there are some No Fumar signs posted in Isla businesses. I bet I didn't see more than a dozen people smoking the whole time I was there.

Touristy stuff is there if you want that. Two streets have vendors hawking t-shirts, magnets, and such. Scuba and fishing trips are available if that's your thing. Golf carts and scooters can be rented. Mainly I eat good food, drink relatively inexpensive drinks and cheap beer, read, and relax. Surprisingly though, I recorded 10,000 or more steps every day.

Many of the older buildings would make an American code inspector twitch with anxiety. Few stairs, even very steep ones, have railings. Nor do all the rooftops. Our place had a railing on top but the buildings next to us did not. A realtor might call those "Unencumbered terraces." I easily could have done one of those cop TV show stunts, jumping from building to building while chasing a perp down the block.

Try tracing these wires. Or finding the source of the water lines. A realtor might say "Plentiful utilities." We did have excellent water pressure, hot and cold. Just don't drink it.

Bathrooms in some bars and restaurants... oh my. An Applebee's is more sanitary, but then you are eating at Applebee's. About ten years ago one of Sheila's friends purchased a toilet seat with her own money and installed it herself in one of the island's bars she liked to frequent. She had developed some nice leg muscles from so much hovering. Life's trade-offs, right?

One bar's women's room has a lot of comments in Sharpie about Mark. Some female out there somewhere DOES NOT LIKE MARK. Apparently a frequent visitor to the island, she documents when bad thoughts of Mark cross her mind. The men's room offered some scribbles both for and against Mark. At our table a group of us sat around trying to come up with the story. It could have a chance at being a Netflix/Hulu movie.

We didn't cook. There are too many local places that are fun and tasty. In some parts of the island you can actually order a meal at someone's house and eat on their patio. I'll have a separate post later about how we hired local guy bring us to seven different places for food one night.

Several times we shared restaurant tables with other visitors, some we knew from previous visits, some total strangers. A couple from New Jersey wanted to sit on the patio at a restaurant Sheila and I like. All three outside tables were occupied. We had empty chairs at ours, so we invited them to join us and had a wonderful evening talking with them. The wife did sound a bit like Carmela Soprano. Her husband, however, did not make me remove my cap. Another restaurant had a cat you could pet during dinner at another place.

In addition to the restaurant cat there were sidewalk dogs. They putter around or relax on the warm pavement. People walk and drive around the dogs. I assure you that white dog in the right picture is just sleeping contentedly. I didn't use a flash, so I wouldn't disturb him. The little one on the left greeted me as I walked along the malecón on my way to a massage.

We played pickle ball while there. The courts were in the middle of an area with few tourists. All the players were Americans. I wonder what the local residents think of the game with the bright, plastic balls that go clink, clink, clink. That's me in the yellow hat (top left picture). The bottom two pictures are what was behind the courts.

I could get used to scooter life. Sheila has one at home, but it's engine is literally six times the size of what these ones here have.

Carnival celebrations began on Friday. Our place overlooked the town square, by the Catholic Church. It was fun to watch the celebration with the loud music and lots of people.

That got long! Enough for now.

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agirlwithdemonblood · 10 months

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The Broken Fan - Chapter 4

Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)

Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?

Chapter Summary: Everything goes wrong, way too fast.

Warnings: Panic attack, anxiety, mentions of drinking, mentions of bar, swearing, scared Jensen, Panickedreader! Mean girls!

Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!

Today was the day.

Everybody was excited to attend the signing, to have at least a few minutes with Jensen and Jared, their very own meet and greet.

I wondered how people would react if they were in my shoes last night, if they happened to crash into Jensen and be invited in for a drink. Would they freak out like I did? Would they blow their shot in under 20 minutes?

I didn’t know how to feel about seeing Jensen again after last night, considering I left fairly quickly I hope he didn’t dread seeing me today.

Mainly, my nerves were at an all time high at the unknown but I couldn’t pass on this opportunity, I couldn’t waste anymore chances at being normal, not again.

Everybody was already lining up when I entered the hotel lobby, two straight long lines nearly beside each other. I looked ahead and spotted Jensens table on the right, Jared’s on the left.

I hesitated, wondering which table to go to. If I went to Jared’s than Jensen may think I’m avoiding him or I didn’t like him in the first place. If I went in Jensen’s though it may look like I’m either a stalker, or it will be super awkward.

I stepped in Jared’s line and frowned. It didn’t feel right being here, wrong choice. As soon as I crossed and stepped into Jensen’s line, I felt a calm rush wave over me and I nearly rolled my eyes.

Okay, I guess this is where I’m staying.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I jumped, before turning to face Vanessa and Amber, the two girls from day 1. My smile faded when I noticed the scowl on their faces and their eyes judging me to the core.

“Hi Y/N. How was your night in your car?” Vanessa spoke harshly. I bit my tongue and plastered on a poker face, “It was fine but I can’t wait to get home.”

She rolled her eyes towards Amber and laughed before I turned around, I don’t really know what their problem is with me today but at this point I didn’t care. I was becoming excited to see him again, and hopefully make up for last night.

I clutched the Supernatural journal I had in my hands and sighed in relief when the line started moving. Jensen was so close yet so far, I could see how gorgeous he looked again, laughing and smiling, interacting with everybody so kindly and patiently. It was heartwarming to see him like this.

My cheeks heated as I watched him, noticing the way his tongue peaked out when he was writing his name, eyeing the firm flex of his arms while he signed, and god, the way his eyes shined-it was all too much. He was too much.

“So Y/N.” Amber chimed in my ear, nearly giving me a heart attack. I rolled my eyes and turned in her direction.

She smiled smugly, “We saw you at the bar last night. We were going to say hi but I guess you were too occupied hanging out with Jensen and Jared.”

I froze in my spot as my eyes widened. Vanessa smirked and stepped closer until she was inches from my face. “Are you seriously trying to con your way into Jensen’s life? Stalker much?”

“I’m… not trying to do anything. He invited me for a drink.” I whispered nearly inaudibly.

A harsh laugh escaped Vanessa as her eyes narrowed. “Do you really think we are going to believe that Jensen had any interest in hanging out with a homeless chick?”

Panic. Fear. Regret.

“W-What?” I stuttered back.

Amber nodded and stepped closer to me, “We saw your car outside. You’ve clearly been living there for a long time, maybe forever. Not so much a traveller as a hobo, am I right?”

My mouth gaped open and shut, my vision started to blur as the panic set in.

She knew. They both knew. And they were using it against me. I knew I couldn’t be normal here. I knew I would be the outcast. Stupid, so stupid!

I was trembling in place, heart pounding in my ears and my mouth was so dry. The panic has officially set in and I needed to get out of here.

Before I had a chance to turn and run, one of the handlers placed their hand on my shoulder and urged me towards the table. Great, my turn.

I could barely see Jensen or anything in front of me as my vision went in and out, but I could tell he was staring at me, probably judging too.

But as soon as I stood in spot, I could feel his hand rest on top of mine shooting me straight back to reality. I looked up into his eyes and finally saw him.

He looked… scared. Concerned. Worried.

He leaned closer, “Y/N? Are you okay?”

I took a deep breath and wiped the sweat off my forehead. “W-what?”

He swallowed hard. “I asked if you were okay. You don’t look so good…”

I smiled softly and nodded, trying my best to keep it together and just breathe. “Yeah, I’m fine sorry.”

He didn’t look convinced but I didn’t care. Fake it till you make it right? He smiled sadly and looked up, “What would you like me to sign?”

I nodded and took out my journal before passing it towards him. He opened it and froze, staring down at whatever he was looking at with a shocked expression.

“Oh shit what is it?” I questioned causing him to laugh. He turned to notebook towards me and I saw what his eyes caught, a not so good drawing I did of him when I was bored and having a particularly hard night.

“I forgot that was in there.”

He smiled and looked up at me, his eyes shining and staring intensely into mine just like he always did. “I love it.. did you do this?”

My cheeks warmed and I could feel the air seeping through once again, “Yeah, I did.”

“Wow.. Can I.. have it?” He questioned.

I tilted my head quizzically, “You want it?”

“Of course I do” he started “This is amazing.”

A smile erupted on my face as I grabbed the journal and carefully ripped out the page for him, and suddenly I forgot I was even panicking, I was lost in the moment with him, stuck in this warm bubble where nothing could ever hurt me.

He started to sign the journal, his eyes flicking up towards me causing my cheeks to burn. "Nice shirt, I haven't seen that one in a while."

I looked down and smirked, staring at the Dean Winchester mug shot I luckily found right before the convention but he didn't need to know that.

"Oh yeah, I've had this for years. I love it."

His head lifted up, a cocky grin spread across his lips. "Love it because it's me?"

I laughed as the blush deepened, "Meh, It was the only one I could get my hands on at the time, I wanted one of Jared to be honest."

His mouth dropped before a chuckle erupted from his throat, the most beautiful sound i've ever heard. "Oof, harsh. Here I was thinking you were a Dean girl after meeting me."

I shrugged and put on my best poker face. "Nah, I'm more of a Jensen girl." My heart fell into my stomach as soon as the words fell out, and before I could apologize for my idiotic flirty comment, he leaned backwards and covered his mouth as laughter came pouring out.

I quickly joined in laughter, hoping that my cheeks didn't look as red as they felt, but knowing my luck he could probably tell. He leaned forward and placed his hand on my notebook like a wall, shielding whatever he was writing down.

Such a beautiful bubble, so warm and comfy, I never wanted to leave. But of course, all good things come to an end.

Two rough fingers tapped my shoulders as the bubble I was in popped, bringing me back to reality. Vanessa smiled harshly and stepped closer, "So sorry to interrupt, but Y/N your car... I mean your house is being towed. Figured I should let you know before you have to sleep in the street. Although, i'm sure that's still not unusual for you."

I was paralized as I stared back at Vanessa, all the sounds around me was echoing before completly fading as I was pulled into panic mode. I turned towards Jensen in what felt like slow motion, watching him stand from his spot, hand touching my arm but I couldn't even feel it.

He shook my arm and everything came back at once, "Y/N? Hey, are you okay?"

I looked back towards the girls who were staring, laughing. It felt like everybody was laughing and it was all I could hear. I looked back at Jensen as tears welled in my eyes and my heart clenched in pain. "I-I gotta go..."

Before he could say anything, I ran out of the line as fast as my feet could take me, the feeling of everybody staring me crushing me down like a ton of bricks.

I hated it, I hated everything about this weekend. It was a mistake to even think that I could be normal here, that I could fit in. I was a fool and it was my own fault.

I could deal with other's bullying me or putting me down, but him. The way he stared at me with such pity and heartbreak, his eyes used to look so full of kindness and lust and now it was filled with fucking pity. He was never going to look at me the same way again, the memory I had with him was now tainted, poisoned and it was my own fucking fault.

I finally got outside as my car was pulling away attatched to the tow truck, my eyes filling with tears as fast as they ever could. My chest was painted with grief as I watched the only home I really knew be taken away from me. There was nothing I could do anymore, I didn't have enough to get my car out of the lot and I definitely did not have enough for a motel.

Jensen's POV

My heart was filled with pain at how broken and upset she looked, and I finally understood now.

The first day I saw her in the crowd when I asked her if she was okay, it was because she looked so anxious, so scared, like she has never been in a crowd before. I finally understood her.

That was why she was so kind, treating me like I was a normal human, it was because she wanted to be treated the same way.

I glared at the two girls who were still laughing about the situation, ashamed that two people could even call themselves my fans after completely breaking down another person.

The blonde girl who spoke to Y/N first, was making disgusting comments, not realizing I could hear. She went off about how wrong it was to allow a girl like her in here in the first place, how embarrassing it was.

Everything inside me begged to scream at them, god how I wanted to shout right in their face, kick them out of here, or throw something. But I knew I couldn't do that. I couldn't do anything, especially to two young girls, despite how big of bitches I thought they were.

I turned to my handler and insisted they came over, before whispering in his ear that I needed a break and I was leaving. He nodded and stepped forward, announcing that I would be closing the booth and I'd be back in an hour.

The look on the girl's faces were priceless, they were shocked and halfway looked annoyed and god, the anger was bubbling. I left the table as fast as I could, keeping it together until I got into the green room.

As soon as the door shut I could feel my chest tightening, my heart was shattering for her. She has been through so much, she looked so broken and defeated and all of humanity was just constantly letting her down.

I wanted to find her, I wanted to tell her that not everybody is as shitty as those two girls were. I wanted to tell her that there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

God, I wanted to tell her that I wanted to be there for her, to be the person she could depend on, even though she may find me crazy, I didn't want to lose her.

I wanted to tell her. But I didn't even know where to find her. All I had was her journal and her name, that was it. I sat on the couch in defeat before Jared's words popped back into my head.

"You'll get another chance if it's fate, just let the world decide what's best for you."

It has to be fate right? This can't be how our story ends.

I rubbed the temples of my head in hopes to ease the pain of the pounding headache that was beginning, but it was no use. There was too much pain, everywhere. My eyes burned from the endless tears that streamed down, my back ached from the brick wall I've been sat against for hours, but the most intense pain was in my mind.

I was defeated, alone, miserable and embarrassed. I should have known better. I should have thought this through. But tomorrow is the last day of the convention and I had nothing left. No car, no job, no money, no hope.

I regretted everything. I shouldn't have gave up everything to come here. I should have never thought for a second that Jensen would ever be interested in somebody like me.

And the worst part was now I was stuck here, in this town with these memories. I had no options, no path to follow. Nothing.

My bones creaked as I stood from my spot, every muscle heavy and tired, begging to just stay still and not move.

The sky was dark and gloomy, and I was surprised I haven't noticed the change, or how long I was even out here.

I sighed deeply as I pulled out my wallet, counting the last few bills I had. $40, not enough for my car, a motel, or really anything except maybe a few drinks at the bar.

Like I said before, I'm not a big drinker. Far from it really, I hated how people acted on the stuff. Party girls get giddy and loud, men get aggressive and cocky, and then there are the people who just can't stop drinking.

I don't drink. But tonight, I needed it more than ever. I wanted to forget, to stop the pain, to erase today's events. I needed to heal the wound that was on my heart, and crying it out was no longer an option.

By the time I got to the bar, the night has officially set, and most stores on this street were once again closed for the night. Relief hit me when I spotted only one car in the parking lot meaning I could be alone, out of attention. I walked inside and nodded towards the bartender before taking the furthest booth from the door and ordering my first drink.

As soon as I swallowed it down, I knew this wouldn't be my last. Who cares anymore?

I don't know how long I've been sitting here, but every so often I'd see people come in, and people leave. It felt like I was watching a movie, but the button was stuck on fast forward. My drink would be empty, than filled. Empty than filled. Over and over.

I sighed and looked down at my cup which seemed to be spinning, and I started realizing that I might have had a little too much.

Was this drink number 4? No wait, this is 5... right?

The bell on the front door rang and as soon as it did, my blood ran cold. I didn't even need to look up, I knew exactly who it was. I kept my head down low, smirking when I spotted his shoes right beside the table.

"Jensen Ackles." I mumbled with a slight giggle.

The chair screeched as he sat across from me, and I could feel his eyes burning my skin. "Y/N. You doin' alright?"

I shrugged and lazily looked upwards, finally meeting his eyes. "Peachy."

He frowned as his hand came closer, but I quickly pulled it away. I really didn't need his pity, not tonight. "Why don't we go for a walk?"

I shook my head. "I'm g-good here thanks." I hiccupped.

"C'mon, let's get some air I think you had enough."

I scoffed and looked back down at my drink before chugging the rest and slamming it back down. "I-I don't think I will ever have enough actually. I think I m-may have to buy a bottle, how m-many do you think they c-cost? I have.... Ha! $10 left."

He smiled sadly and moved to my side of the table, his hand gently resting on my shoulder as he turned me to face him. "Honey, let's just get some fresh air. Please, for me?"

I rolled my eyes yet agreed, stumbling out of my seat and nearly falling on my ass. Jensen's strong grip was tight on my arm as he helped me towards the door. Everything was spinning and I felt like jello, but in a sense I loved it because the pain was gone. Well, at least the physical was.

The cold air hit me like a ton of bricks and I stumbled back, feeling Jensen's warm hand on my lower back to keep me straight. He lead me over to a bench as we sat in silence.

He sighed low, but I could hear it and guilt filled me. I bet this is not what he would rather be doing right now. I turned towards him slowly, "You can go. I'm fine."

"I don't want to leave you." He stated.

I rolled my eyes and stood from my spot, suddenly walking out of the parking lot, away from this bar, away from him, just away.

His feet were close behind me, voice echoing and mumbled as my ears blocked. "Where are you going?" He spoke louder.

I turned and smiled, waving my arms into the sky. "Nowhere. Got nowhere to go."

He frowned and stepped closer, hand reaching mine gently, burning the skin that he was touching. "Do you want to go to a hotel?"

I laughed a little too loudly and shot him a dirty look, "Funny, real funny. There's no hotels that cheap."

"I'm paying for it." He stated confidently.

I stopped and stared back at the man who had nothing but care and compassion in his eyes, but I couldn't help but feel more ridiculous, more embarrassed and more angry at the fact that this man that I've looked up to, idolized even, he was the one seeing me on one of my worst nights.

I shook my head in disbelief and walked away, a slight smile creeping on my face but it wasn't from happiness, it was from anger. I was so angry that my life was so fucked up, I was so fucking pissed off that nothing, NOTHING could ever just go right for me, not once.

I was angry that he was here, trying, and I had no idea why. Was he playing with me? Was this fun for him?

The sound of his footsteps sped up, and soon he was beside me, trying to capture my attention. “Please, just slow down. Talk to me.”

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the situation but all of a sudden the air was knocked out of my lungs and I couldn’t breathe. I stopped walking as my hand moved to my chest, silently begging for it to even out. Please, not here. Not while he’s watching.

“J-Jensen.. please, go. Go back to your hotel.” I whispered nearly inaudibly.

He shook his head and stood in front of me. “I don’t want to leave you, especially not like this.”

“I’m fine!” I nearly screamed with all my night, praying that he would get the hint and leave already. But he was just as stubborn as I was, maybe even more.

“Your not fine.” He stated sympathetically, "Honey, you don't need to pretend you are okay. Nobody would be in your situation."

A scoff escaped my lips as my eyes opened, narrowing towards him. "My situation? What, being a homeless chick? Trust me, I'm used to it. That's what I am, that's what I always will be."

He shook his head and stepped mere inches from my body, hand moving to mine to hold it tightly. "You're not just a homeless chick."

I could feel the anger bubbling further and I couldn't stop it, I didn't want to be angry with him but I was. He thought he knew me but he didn't, if he did he wouldn't be here right now, he wouldn't check in on me.

"You don't know anything Jensen. I am a nobody, I'm an outcast, I'm.... I'm a fucking ghost of a human. I'm alone and that's fine, that's alright because that's how it's always been. You don't need to pity me, you don't need to try and help me because I'm fine, the last thing I fucking need is for somebody to pretend to care, so just... leave."

He stepped back in shock before his eyebrows furrowed in sadness, "I'm not pretending with you, I do care."

"You don't even fucking know me!" I shouted loudly as I stepped closer, noticing how he flinched at my words. "You just met me what, two days ago and it's been endless drama with me. You don't know me."

He knew you were right, he only met you two days ago but it felt like it's been years. He knew you, he cared for you and a part of him loved you already. He had no idea why, but he did.

A deep sigh escaped his chest as his head hung low and I felt awful but the anger wouldn't stop. The panic was too high.

"We just met two days ago, yes. But I do know you, and I think maybe you know me too."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, "Yeah of course I know you. Your Jensen Fucking Ackles, your famous, your a good to some people and girl's would kill to have this chance to be this close to you and hear you say these things but you don't know who I am, and your lucky."

He shook his head, "No. I don't mean you know who I am on paper, I meant you know me on the inside. I know you felt it too, the connection we had the instant our eyes met during the panel, and every time after that. I know you feel this too, and if i'm wrong say it and I'll leave you alone."

My head dropped to my feet and I bit back the tears that were threatening to come out. I so wanted to believe him, because he was right I did feel it too, but the fact that he would be interested in somebody like me, especially after what he found out, was too hard to believe. I couldn't.

"Your only here because you found out some shitty part of my life, that's the only reason your pushing so hard. If you didn't know that, you would have went your separate way."

His face turned in hurt and disbelief as he stepped back. "Seriously? That's what you think?" He quickly grabbed his bag and opened it, pulling out the journal I accidently left earlier, and passing it to me. "Read what I wrote and tell me that I'm not being honest here."

With shaky hands, I grabbed the journal from him and opened it, spotting the secret message he wrote earlier today.

"Y/N, I really hope to see you again, (xxx-xxx-xxx) Please call me, Jensen Ackles."

A single tear dropped down my cheek as I read it over and over, he really did care. He did want to get to know you, but I pushed him away. I was so... angry and mean and unforgiving.

I couldn't lift my head, I couldn't face him and my chest became tighter as I stood in my spot. He was speaking but it was muffled, my vision started to go white as the panic finally took over me.

I pulled my head up and looked at him, noticing the clear panic written all over his face as he stepped closer, hands on my arms tightly. My legs quickly gave out as I slid to the ground, trying to control my breathing, to not panic but it was too much, everything was too much and I couldn't do this.

Jensen's POV

Panic overtook my body as I watched her fall apart in my arms, she wasn't there, she was distant and gone, sucked in the whirlwind of her panic attack.

I tried everything I could to bring her back but she was too gone, I didn't even think she could hear me at this point. Her breathing was rapid and heavy followed with loud gasps filling the open air.

"Y/N, Look at me, Please!" I shouted, my hand moving to her cheek that was burning under my touch.

Her eyes started fluttering shut causing my heart to pound in my chest. It was too late, it was too much for her. "No-No! Open your eyes sweetie, please breathe!"

But it was no use, her eyes shut tight as her body went limp in my arms.

Fuck, fuck fuck!

I pulled her onto my lap and held her tight to my chest as I pulled out my phone, quickly calling Jared to my aid. I don't even remember talking to him or what I said because I was so focused on her weak and lifeless body, but soon enough a car pulled in and Jared jumped out.

I picked her up gently in my arms, my eyes never leaving her face.

"What the fuck happened?" Jared shouted before rushing to open the door. My gaze moved up towards Jared and I could feel tears behind my eyes, "S-She had a panic attack, a bad one."

Jared nodded understandably and got back into the car. "Where are we going? Do you know where she lives?"

I frowned to myself and shook my head, "Just go to the hotel, I'll set her up in my room for tonight."

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, Jared ran inside to make sure nobody would be able to spot us. I stared down at her and sighed sadly, my thumb rubbing the dirt off her forehead. "I promise, everything is going to be okay Honey, but you need to trust me." I whispered.

Soon, we were entering my hotel room and I gently placed her on the bed. Jared said his goodnights and left, leaving her and I alone. I frowned at the sight of her muddy clothing, I felt wrong for changing her but I knew she would appreciate clean clothes in the morning.

I couldn't help but watch the way she slept, the way her body sunk into the mattress like it was the comfiest thing in the world and my heart panged at the thought that she might not even remember the last time she actually slept in a bed.

I watched her breathing, sighing in relief at the even breaths, in and out. She was so beautiful, so amazing and kind and she had no idea, it killed me.

I wouldn't let her sleep in the car again, not if I could help it but she's just as stubborn as I am, maybe more. I smiled at the way her face relaxed in her sleep, and I couldn't help but reach forward to brush the hair off her face.

I sat back and replayed the events of tonight. I hated that she thought I pitied her or felt bad, I mean I did but that's not why I wanted to be here. I just... felt this need and want to protect her at all costs, to be there for her. I was going to fight for this and fight for her, because believe it or not, this was fate.

I wasn't going to lose her again.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #dean x reader #supernatural one shot #jensenxyou #spn fic #jensen x reader #jensen's smile #dean #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x reader #jensen and danneel #spns #supernaturalseries

97 notes · View notes

infinitelyprecious · 7 days

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Get To Know Me Tag

Ooh yes, I finally have the spoons to answer one of these again, it's been a while. Thank you for the tag @befuddledcinnamonroll 🧡🧡

Do you make your bed?

Why yes I do. It's part of my morning routine, it feels nice. I forget sometimes, but since I am in or walk past my bedroom at least once during the day, my bed almost always ends up made before the evening

What’s your favorite number?

I can't say I have a single favorite number. I do really like even numbers or ones that can be decided by 5. The exception being 7 and 11, no clue why

What is your job?

I clean houses for people who are in some way physically or mentally unable to themselves

If you could go back to school, would you?

Theoretically yes. In practice though? I love learning when I have the spoons to, but the current school system doesn't really work for my neurodivergent brain

Can you parallel park?

Yes. But I prefer not to. Don't like doing it

A job you had that would surprise people?

I used to do equine assisted coaching. Horses and people both fascinate me and this was a fun combo

Do you think aliens are real?

Not really, but I'm pretty agnostic on the matter

Can you drive a manual car?

It's how I learned to drive. Manual cars are very common where I live. I think I prefer manual cars over automatic cars even

What’s your guilty pleasure?

I'm not sure I have one

Tattoos?

Currently two. One on my ankle and one on the back of my arm. They are reminders to take care of myself.

Favorite color?

Not a specific color, but I do gravitate towards the darker shades of colors

Favorite type of music?

Hard to say, it varies. It is mainly Korean music though, the language is very pleasant to listen to

Do you like puzzles?

Yes please. Does depend on the kind of puzzle, but generally yes. Love 'em. Making puzzles is something that helps me relax

Any phobias?

I have anxiety unfortunately, so yes

Favorite childhood sport?

Horse back riding. I don't ride that much anymore, I kinda miss it

Do you talk to yourself?

All the damn time lol

What movies do you adore?

Nothing comes to mind, I'm not really a movie watcher

Coffee or tea?

Tea all the way. I love that people love coffee, but I don't think I'm ever gonna understand the appeal

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

I don't actually remember, but it was probably animal related

No pressure tags @lostemotion @theelast-straw @zoinkssc00b @takeadeepbreathandexist @cryingatships @babetanatat

#tag game #about me

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fanterfane · 10 months

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The State of FanterFane, Now in ADHD!~

HEY YA'LL!

That's something I do now I guess, I say "YA'LL"! Either way, It's time for the first status update since the BIG ONE earlier this year. If you don't remember it or you're new, firstly, welcome, secondly, you can read it here: https://www.deviantart.com/fanterfane/journal/The-State-of-FanterFane-950469980. A lot of what I said here I'm still struggling with, and probably always will be, so it's still relevant. I've been told that several people have been recommended that post by Patreon because of it's high engagement, so I feel especial need to give the algorithm something better to serve. Also, this post is mainly about my struggles with ADHD, but it has other things and status updates sprinkled throughout. If you or someone you know has ADHD, I hope this helps!

For the sake of brevity though, I'll do a TL:DR right here. I developed carpal tunnel two months ago, and I've been working on treating it. It's been going pretty good lately, especially now that I finally have gotten my hands on ADHD medication after my long time lack thereof. As such, I've become much more productive and much, much happier! Things are looking up for me, and I'm hopeful for the future! Social acceptance for who I am now is still sometimes rough, but going better. SFW commissions have done wonders for my mental health, and I have plans for new art projects, commission queues, and more to try and do. I hope that you'll all continue to be the thing I get up for in the morning as I work to accomplish them! I'll be going on vacation next week, and I hope you all have a great summer!

Now for the super long part I don't fault anyone for NOT reading, here we go!

Earlier this year, it felt like I was spiraling down an unrecoverable path. Things I tried to do just wouldn't materialize. I would identify a problem like "My car is dirty" or "My room is messy" or even just "I should read and respond to this DM" and instead of working to solve it my anxiety would start up and make it so that I put it off. What if I messed it up? I was always so tired too, I just felt emotionless whenever I didn't feel sad. What if I just didn't deserve it anyway? What if all of this is a mistake? Those sorts of questions would plague me no matter what, preventing me from solving the very things giving me anxiety spiraling into even more anxiety. It was dumb, but mental health quite often is. It was getting so bad, that writing dialog and even just reading things started feeling like an anxiety induced dyslexic impossibility. For the longest time I assumed it was just depression, and that it would get better with time, but it hasn't over the years. Instead, it's only gotten worse year over year.

Now, I always get a little bit depressed every winter. Seasonal depression gets me down every year without fail, but this year was quite a bit more intense. The struggle between the two lives I live was really getting to me. I'd been doing ever more and more introspection, and discovering all the ways the way I was raised screwed me up definitely didn't help. Repressed memories often have a reason for being repressed. It doesn't help when the people you want to love you the most are the least supportive in your life, and might have even been partly the cause of some of your more unhealthy tendencies. Regardless of their intentions.

A big part of this issue though, I think at least, is that I've been unmedicated for my ADHD since High School. I stopped taking it as a Sophomore because I felt like I was smart enough to pass school without it, and that it wasn't helping me. The stigma against stimulants and medication in general was a big part of that decision. I was not self-aware enough at the time to realize that almost immediately my attention started suffering. It started slowly, too slowly for me to realize it at the moment, but gradually it became harder and harder to pay attention to class work over the years. It got so bad that in order for me to NOT fall asleep during class, I'd doodle on my classwork cause it kept me stimulated enough to stay awake. I'd always made good grades though, so I coasted through highschool on information osmosis and went on to community college, where it really started to catch up with me. Although again, I didn't realize it.

In community college, I had a couple of bad classes that really jarred me. Physics and Calculus. Physics was hard because the teacher was bad at teaching it, and 75% of that class failed the final, so I don't feel very bad about it. But the calculus class though, was the first time I'd ever felt like I'd failed myself in a class. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't understand the derivatives they tried to teach me. I passed, barely, but that was one of the times where I think my ADHD caught up to me, even if I didn't realize it. It wasn't much, but it was definitely a sign of things to come.

Once I got out of community college, I took a gap year between it and a longer stay at a university. During that time, I started trying to work on art more and more as a hobby. I started drawing possession, corruption, femboys, all that sorta wonderful stuff. Then Covid hit. My gap year turned to two, and suddenly that was long enough for me to have started an actual *career* doing this. Which was beyond crazy to me. It motivated me to no end, I wanted nothing more than to create and have fun creating for all my followers.

In the end though, my ADHD caught up to me. Like it always does. Once the initial honeymoon phase was over, and I settled into the hum and drum of being an online digital artist, it reared its head again.

You see, ADHD is not something that goes away. You may not think about it, but it's always there. ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, potentially being renamed soon to the ASD spectrum, is a mental disorder affecting the brain's dopamine pathway. People with ADHD struggle because they have less dopamine for everything than most other people do. This either leads to hyperactivity, because you need to do MORE to feel the normal amount of reward chemical (how I was when I was younger). Or it leads to Inattention, because nothing you do feels rewarded or worthwhile (how I am now). There's just physically not enough dopamine being released in my brain for it to function properly most of the time. That's why ADHD is treated with stimulants like Adderall or Vyvanse, because they stimulate the release of more dopamine in the pathways. Making everything feel *right*. My symptoms may have changed over the years through things like masking and other stuff, but I realized recently that it never went away.

At the end of last year, I started watching ADHD Youtube videos that were recommended to me by my friends who also have ADHD. Lo and behold, a lot of what I was struggling with was the poster child of adulthood with ADHD. Anxiety, inability to do basic tasks, procrastination, lack of motivation, etc etc. I was especially hit hard by the concept of "Executive Dysfunction". Executive dysfunction, common with ADHD, impairs planning, task prioritization, memory, execution, and emotional regulation. All things I've been struggling with for years to various extents. Also things that got worse whenever I was depressed.

Naturally, the first thing someone might do to solve this, is get treated/medicated. So that's what I tried. I enrolled in a private health care plan (self-employment doesn't get healthcare through their employer, GO USA) just to find out that it was in the middle of a ADHD medication shortage. I was eligible to get approved for VyVanse, the meds I took when I was a kid, because they were 500$ a bottle. My insurance was 250$ a month. So they denied it, citing that I "Haven't tried the other medications." The ones that I tried getting, Adderall and a couple other ones, were never in stock. Even my friends who already had medication started being unable to get any at all. It was around that time that I made The State of FanterFane post, because this really hit me hard. I'd done everything I was supposed to, but the world still shot me down for it.

Then, on top of everything else, I developed Carpal Tunnel. Which screwed me up even more mentally and physically. Suddenly, even when I WAS motivated (which was getting rarer and rarer) I couldn't even draw then because my wrist was constantly in pain. It really started feeling like things really were unsalvageable. I truly felt without hope for the first time since college, and before that high school. Like everything I had done up to that point was pointless, and only resulted in me sacrificing my health for something that would've never worked out.

...Until the first week of this month, June 2023. When one of my friends was able to get their hands on Adderall again, signaling the end of the shortage. I immediately took my prescription to my local pharmacy, and got my first ever bottle of Adderall XR. I had high hopes for what it would do for me, but the thing I didn't expect was for me to regain hope.

The next day, I took my first dose and proceeded to start deep cleaning and rearranging my entire room. I did laundry, folded clothes, wiped away dust EVERYWHERE, organized my belongings and important files for the first time EVER, unpacked moving boxes that hadn't moved in 2 years and much, much more! Essentially, I turned my entire room upside down over the course of a week. I can't really put into words just how liberating it felt, how finally being able to just see a problem, and then solve it immediately without any anxiety or self-doubt changed *everything*. Even better, every task completed was less anxiety to affect me whenever I felt down or depressed. I can't hate myself for having a messy room when it's so clean, it's literally *rearranged* after all!

To put it simply, it felt like my brain was *working again*. For the first time in literal YEARS. Once I was done cleaning, I moved onto working on art, posting, responding to messages and sorting personal files. These past three weeks have been three of the most productive weeks I've had in a very long time. I feel like I've not been this productive since the initial honeymoon phase of Dullahan Dilemma and the Attenborough collection (callback!). All the while, I got better at treating my carpal tunnel, to the point where it's not constantly pins and needling me anymore, and it even feels just generally better all the time! I've been getting better and better at doing various tasks, and I believe I'm truly on the road to recovery now.

Things from here are looking up! Genuinely! I wouldn't be here either if it wasn't for all of you kind people supporting me, even through the toughest times. I'm beyond grateful for that. I'd worship the ground you all walk on if I could. Without ya'll, I would not be here today. Forgive me for taking on a somewhat political tone, but I have no idea who I'd even be at this point without all of you, and all of my wonderful friends that I’ve met while doing this. Perhaps I'd have fallen deeper into the alt-right pipeline as a disenfranchised southern white guy. Becoming more homophobic and repressing my inner self even more than I already had been my entire life due to my upbringing. That was the only place I felt like I could fit into the conservative worldview my folks raised me in, after all. Maybe I would've gone back to school for a degree I couldn't use and in debt, landing in a terrible corporate job that didn't care for me. At least I would've got health insurance then, but also maybe all of my health problems would've gotten worse and worse and never got better, since I never would've had the motivation to fix them by working out, losing weight, and watching my diet. I honestly don't know, and thinking too deeply about the "what-ifs'' of it is pointless.

But now, what I can say is that when all the anxiety clears and the depression abates, I'm truly happy. For the first time in my life, I feel like I actually have an identity. Like my emotions actually do matter and that I'm not just some soulless machine whose only goal in life is to make money. I'm a human being. Although I may not be created in God's image, I have thoughts, feelings, and most importantly, flaws. I'm gay/bisexual, I'm not very masculine nor do I desire to be so, I like having long hair, and I like doing more effeminate things that most guys in the crowd I was falling into would balk at and blame on chemicals in the water. In other words, I feel healthier than ever. Mentally AND physically. I thank all of you, each and every single one, for staying with me throughout all of this. If any of you ever feel like you wanna reach out, especially if I can help you in some comparatively small way, please do. My DMs are always open, it's the LEAST I can do.

Some other things I should touch on- I've gotten a lot of surprising support for my transition from my extended family and friends. The closest is still the most difficult, I can't get my nails painted for instance, I was told not to when I asked, much to my chagrin. I've got a pride bracelet I've been wearing around, and no one has said anything about it, so that's good I suppose. Fox news still blares on the television in the living room, even after all the stuff that's gone down with *that* channel in recent times. I've given up on trying to convince them otherwise. I’ve been discredited anyway because I draw "X-rated shit", that doesn't make enough money. Even though as far as most people my generation are faring financially, I'm doing pretty good!

The SFW commissions have been going fantastic! Especially on the mental health side of things. It's helped me realize that I do in fact, have options. I'm not trapped doing one thing forever, which is honestly the thing that was scaring me the most. Just like the threat of a soul-draining corporate job till the day I die. I don't have to worry about what I'll be doing in 10 years, because I think I've built enough support and especially self-taught skill that no matter what I do, I'll be okay. It's only up from here, and I've even been feeling the flame of passion returning for TF and other lewdness! So you can for sure expect to see much more of that over the next few years, no matter what!

Speaking of money though, I have more plans for the future now too. I'm gonna make more money by doing more commissions and creating more sources of revenue. Just so that I can afford to move out, and get away from this toxic environment I find myself in. The cheapest apartments where I live run for about 750$ a month, so I'm hoping to save up over the next year and move the hell out. I think I'll be able to afford it, provided there are no extraneous events that hurt me financially. I'll be trying things like more YCH's, sketch commission streams like the patreon request streams, art packs, and maybe even merch! Ya'll be the first to be notified about any of this. The first YCH auction will hopefully be this weekend! It will be based on Nyan Cat possession, and the MC will be trying to run away from the cringey 2000's era meme culture that haunts them to this day. Thing is, the past has a funny way of coming back to haunt you!~

Finally, I'm going on vacation next week to see some friends in LA! If you're someone I know/trust around the LA area, and you wanna meet up, let me know in DMs and we'll see if we can arrange it! I may take a further vacation the week after for rest, but after that we'll be back to regularly scheduled LEWDNESS work!

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for coming with me and supporting me on this journey. Happy pride month, and I hope everyone has a great Summer! I love all of you! Here's to several more years of FanterFane!

XOXO,

FanterFane

#announcement #adhd #my adhd #living with adhd

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landinrris · 4 months

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lando world champion interview 🤔🫶🏼

ahh Emi, now that I'm actually sitting down, I can get to this.

This was originally going to be a part of my original series where I wrote something with Lando as a world champion at the end.

After he and Carlos work their way up to the whole "if you think we're not together at this point then that's on you" prior to accidentally outing themselves in DTS, they never do any kind of interview about it. They go back to their normal lives and basically refuse to make their relationship a big deal.

Then, in the wake of Lando winning WDC (I think originally it was supposed to be like 2024 when I wrote it lmao), he agrees to one actual interview that mainly focuses on him and winning with a dash of Carlos, who is his husband by this point. I planned to include it as an epilogue where it's a transcript of an interview like you might find in a magazine.

This is a snippet that hasn't been touched in like a year, so be advised:

Interviewer: “Because how do you then separate all of that stress and anxiety when the people in these cars are some of your best mates?” Lando Norris: “I think that’s probably a big part of it, yeah? Out on the track, they’re rivals, they wanna get in front of you almost at whatever cost. But then off track, they’re my best mates, racing drivers I’ve looked up to, my husband. Those relationships are so meaningful, that it gets a little easier to remember like, ‘right, Max isn’t trying to run me off because he has a personal vendetta, and it isn’t necessarily something to have a fallout over either’. It’s this like, tightrope, of remembering that everyone’s trying to achieve the same result, and that’s not who they are off track.” I: “Have there been times where it’s been easier to think that than others?” LN: “Yeah, for sure. Sometimes races may be better than others. Sometimes one of them accidentally runs you off or vice versa, and that’s something to work through without ruining this great thing you have.” — I: So you’re a world champion, but you’re also a newlywed now too! Congratulations! LN: [laughs] Yeah… I: Why are you laughing? LN: No, nothing— it’s just weird. Weird to think about still. Am I a newlywed? I: Well you got married in August and it’s the beginning of December. I’d say so. LN: Oh God, that’s so weird. [Laughing] God, he’s going to kill me for laughing.

Interested in learning about some wips?

#I do really like the idea still of doing a mock interview like this especially with an emphasis on dialogue but we'll see #it's still a wip for a reason!#writing tag #husbands™

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americangirlstar · 1 year

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Meet Claudie - Infodump

So bc agwiki hasn’t got any real info on Claudie yet and they’ve banned me from editing, here’s a quick rundown of the info we garnered from Meet Claudie!

Date: The book takes place during the Summer. It’s not specified when, but it’s at least a month before school starts, as Claudie’s mother’s trip is for two weeks and two weeks after that is the variety show, which will still be summertime. I suspect very early summer.

Claudie info:

Claudie is a dreamer and storyteller, though she doesn’t realize the second part of herself quite yet and sees herself as someone with no talent, which makes her insecure.

Claudie often ends up daydreaming and losing her focus. She doesn’t realize until later how good she is at making up stories in her head.

She is incredibly shy around strangers and when public speaking. She hasn’t done any solo performances, mainly due to her anxiety.

She is noted to be very responsible, especially with her little brother, and never breaks a promise.

She enjoys learning about history, curious to learn about how life came to be as it was. “Besides, if you understood how life came to be, you could also imagine how it might someday be different.”

Claudie likes to read the funnies in the newspaper every morning, and visits Angelo’s Bakery every afternoon, as her dad will give her a special treat. She also likes watching the writers at the café across the street.

Claudie takes dance classes with the Harlem Angels, who dance in ballet, tap and African dance. She has poor motor skills however, and can “barely sway in time.” This embarrasses her, but she likes dancing when she’s alone or just with her family.

She also says that she’s “no singer” and sings quietly in church so nobody can hear her. However, Selma believes she has a beautiful voice.

She was born and raised entirely in Harlem. Claudie’s family lived in a cramped apartment when Claudie was “little,” but she doesn’t remember it, and only remembers Miss Amelia’s boardinghouse. Her parents sometimes talk about finding their own apartment, but Claudie likes the crowded and noisy house.

Three years before, in February, Claudie, Jody and Mama waved a flag in the Hellfighters welcome home parade, waiting for Daddy. Claudie remembers being bundled in “the prettiest blue coat.” An older white woman cried happily beside her; she also spotted Mr. Rockefeller. She finally saw Daddy with a fold metal, and Claudie called for him, though she thought he wouldn’t see her. However, when the formation broke, she ran right into her father’s arms, and felt like she was flying.

Claudie vaguely remembers people marching or fighting in the street that summer, because she couldn’t go outside to play. She didn’t realize at the time this was the Red Summer.

For her eighth birthday, Claudie got a leather-bound maroon notebook from her mother. She still hasn’t written in it.

The previous Christmas, Miss Amelia had sewn Claudie several finger puppets. Daddy made a stage out of cardboard box, and Mama used scraps of fabric to make the curtains. She uses her set to tell Jodie stories at bedtime. The three characters she has are Domino the cat, Puddles the duck, and Miss Pink the pig. Domino is a poor dancer like her. She considers the puppet show as “just a thing” she does for her brother.

Claudie’s Family:

Jody: Claudie’s little brother, who is six years old. He’s often mentioned racing his toy car. He adores Claudie’s puppet shows. He is also obsessed with the NLB. His favorite player is Joe Williams. He also idolizes Henry Johnson of the Hellfighters.

Mama: A brave and dedicated newspaper reporter for the Amsterdam News. She is always working or reading or hunting down a story. She has a beloved Underwood Typewriter. Claudie wishes she could be as passionate as her.

She likes living at the boardinghouse, as she often works late and likes knowing that someone is there to take care of her kids. She likes when her kids visit her at work, but will flip over the article she’s working on if it’s something too grown-up for them.

She was raised in Shellman, Georgia on a farm, but she came up north because she didn’t want to be a farmer and hated the way black people were treated; as such, it’s “hard for her to go back” and she is hesitant to take her kids there.

Both of Claudie’s parents are described as practical.

Daddy: An artistic baker and veteran of World War One. He works at Angelo’s Bakery. He’s famous in the neighborhood for his beautiful cakes. Every time Claudie visits the bakery (which she tries to do every afternoon), he offers her a sweet from the counter display.

He grew up in South Carolina. Daddy tells Claudie a story of the first caked he baked; he wanted to make a birthday cake for his mother, but it looked and tasted awful. He kept working on baking however, and after the war, he would bake during his insomniac episodes.

Daddy served in World War One (referred to as the “Great War” in everything but the narration, presumably so little kids don’t get confused.) He fought with the 369th Infantry Regiment, the Harlem Hellfighters. He would like the “peace and quiet” of their own apartment as he had to live in crowded barracks during WW1.

I think it’s safe to say he’s showing signs of PTSD, with insomnia and nightmares when he does manage to sleep.

Grandma: Mama’s mother in Georgia. Claudie has never met her.

Cousin Sidney: Either Mama’s cousin or nephew, I’m not sure. He’s a woodworker who lives upstate, and whenever he visits he brings Claudie and Jody a new toy.

Non-Wells Characters:

Miss Amelia: The woman who runs the boardinghouse. She is an immigrant from Port Antonio, Jamaica. She came to Harlem to visit her cousin thirty years previously, and ended up staying as she fell in love with the city. When she was young, she worked in a shop as a seamstress. She now uses her skills to mend clothes for extra money.

Dizzy Dot: Miss Amelia’s dog. She’s described as energetic.

Gwen: A watercolor artist who paints pictures of Harlem.

When Gwen was little, she used to sneak off to art museums to study paintings. Her mama gave her a watercolor set for Christmas, and that set Gwen on the painting path forever. She came to Harlem to study art, dreaming of becoming a famous painter, but the racism around her crushed her dreams.

She doesn’t care much for sweets, but still admires the decorative artwork that Claudie’s Father does in the bakery window.

Gwen doesn’t "take to” children very much, so Claudie avoids her out of politeness.

Nina: Claudie’s best friend, who loves to dance. She has a solo for the performance the Harlem Angels are practicing.

Nina hates history lessons, finding them boring.

Nina seems to be more well-off than Claudie, and lives at Striver’s Row in her own apartment. Her place is mentioned to be “big”, and she has a pedal car. Claudie sometimes visits Nina, but feels strange and restless at how quiet her place is. Nina’s family hosts Christmas parties there.

Nina’s mother is also mentioned, making “finger sandwiches.” Nina’s father belongs to the Elks Lodge, and lets them rehearse in the lodge basement as long as they left the space as they found it.

Porter: A musician who plays cornet in a brass quartet.

He grew up in New Orleans, “the birthplace of jazz.” He fell in love with the surprise and improvisation of jazz. He drove his cornet teacher crazy by continuously riffing off the music.

Porter also served in WW1, playing in a band. He says the “french boys” called their horns magic. However, after the war, he returned home and was jumped by white men who didn’t like seeing him in uniform. After that, he left the city.

He acts fake-offended when Claudie compares cornet to a trumpet, telling her it’s “smaller, and the sound is warmer.” He says it’s a perfect instrument, as “you carry it in this little bitty case,” so you can take it anywhere, unlike a trombone or tuba.

Porter helped Claudie learn to balance while riding her scooter.

Selma: A glamorous and talented jazz singer. Claudie likes visiting her because Selma keeps a trunk of costumes that she lets Claudie try on, and would tell her stories about performing over the city while she shows her perfume or does her nails.

Selma grew up a preacher’s daughter in Texas, and grew up singing in the church. She learned she wanted to be a traveling performer from a vaudeville troupe that visited her town when she was “about Claudie’s age” and visited with her cousins. She was enchanted by the everyday wonder of it, “the simple beauty.” But she was most entranced by the blues singer at the end of the show, knowing that that was what she wanted to do with her life. When she finished school, she went on the road with her own traveling show. After becoming tired of living out of a trunk, she arrived at Miss Amelia’s boardinghouse intending to stay for only a few days. But she found herself home there.

Selma had taught Claudie how to tie her shoes.

Winston Martin: A boy from the South who loves to draw. He is Claudie’s friend, with dark skin and thin, wire-rimmed glasses that he always forgets to clean.

He comes from Canton, Mississippi, and was surprised by how big Harlem was. He started drawing so he could remember everything. His family moved to Harlem because his parents wanted him to have more opportunities.

Miss Zula: Claudie’s dance instructor. She is endlessly patient, and says that “There was no such thing as a bad dancer, only an unskilled one.”

Unnamed Characters:

English Teacher: Claudie dreads when she has to read a book report in front of their class.

Synopsis

We begin with Claudie in dance class. Miss Zula is teaching them a griotic dance, with griot being a traveling poet or musician in West Africa. “A griot tells stories that keep history alive. Dance is a form of storytelling, too.” While Claudie likes the idea of telling a story in ways other than words, she’s too distracted trying to keep up with the other kids to pay attention to the story. As she watches Nina practice for her solo, she feels sad she wasn’t born with a special talent.

Claudie scooters on over to meet her dad at Angelo’s Bakery. She reads through The Brownies’ Book trying to enjoy the stories about heroes of color, but is still sad. She goes to the kitchen and asks her father if she has any special talent, and he tells her that she’s kind, smart, and a good sister and friend. This does not cheer her up.

Claudie returns home to the boardinghouse and asks Miss Amelia about how she came to Harlem. The kitchen then “descends into its typical chaos” as the other boarders enter. Claudie’s mother is working late and misses dinner, and while Claudie understands, she misses her mom and wishes she had a normal job that would mean she could be home.

Claudie is eventually cheered up after telling Jodie a puppet story, taking comfort in the fact she’s good at making her brother happy. Mama arrives after Jodie has fallen asleep, telling her she was late because she had to interview a few more sources. She asks her mother what she’s good at, and Mama says she’s inquisitive. She then informs her daughter that she’ll be going to Georgia for two weeks, but says it’s “not time” for Claudie to go. Claudie is worried that Mama thinks she’ll get in her way.

She wakes up the next day and decides to spend the rest of her summer finding her talent. She proceeds to interview all the other boarders and ask how they’d discovered theirs. She starts with Selma, who tells her her backstory, and then teaches her the song that made her want to become a performer. Claudie then talks to Miss Amelia, who is mending a pair of trousers for extra money, which she has been doing a lot recently. She tries to teach Claudie to sew something, but Claudie is predictably bad at it. She tells her to practice, and Claudie asks how to practice something you’re not good at. Amelia says, “A lot of people quit if they aren’t good at something right away. But don’t worry about sewing the whole dress. You just start with one little button.” Claudie thinks about focusing on the smaller steps of something.

That afternoon, Claudie takes Jody to Amsterdam News headquarters to visit Mama. As the kids arrive, Mama flips over her article, and hesitantly tells Claudie that another man was lynched the day before. Claudie notes that while her mother can write any story, she most often writes the scary ones, and asks her why. Mama says that she wants to help people see what they’d rather ignore, then takes her and Jody home for dinner.

The rest of the week, Claudie tries to find her talent. She shadows Daddy at Angelo’s, but she keeps losing her focus and forgetting important steps. She follows Mama next, but while she’s fascinated by her mother’s bravery, she knows she’s too shy to do her mom’s job.

The next afternoon, Claudie visits Porter in hopes of learning to play cornet. He tries to teach her “When the Saints Come Marching In,” but she’s not great. He tells her about improvising in her music, the way she improvs her puppet shows. In the afternoon, Porter takes her and Jody to the Bronx to watch the Lincoln Giants. Claudie spots her friend Winston and sees him drawing Joe Williams, and she’s shocked by how realistic his doodle looks. He tells her that Harlem has more opportunities for black people than Canton did. Joe Williams hits a baseball high, and Jody cries that he hit it to the moon. Claudie imagines that something like that could only happen in Harlem.

Claudie awakes that night to find her father baking a crepe in the kitchen. She asks why he’s awake, and he told her he had a nightmare he was still in the war. She asks why some people were mad that the black soldiers came home, and he tells her that the white men were scared they’d think highly of themselves. The Red Summer occurred when they came home, which was disheartening for the men who thought they’d proved themselves in Europe.

In the morning, Claudie arrives downstairs to find everyone surrounding an Eviction Notice. Mama tells Claudie to take Jody to play outside with Dizzy Dot, where Claudie has to explain to him what eviction means; she had previously heard horror stories of classmates’ families receiving eviction noticies. She assures her brother everything will be fine, though she herself is afraid. That night, the boarders around the table only discuss making more money. Claudie eavesdrops, finding out that the rent was raised and they will be evicted if Miss Amelia can’t pay over a hundred dollars by the end of the month. Porter complains that black residents are given unfairly high rent. While Mama suggests talking to the Tenant Association, Papa tells Claudie that a lawyer would be more expensive than the rent. He then tells Claudie that people have started having rent parties, where they throw a party and charge people to enter. However, he doesn’t think they could throw a party big enough. The boarders all pick up extra jobs to pay rent, putting extra money in the coffee can in the kitchen, but it’s nowhere near enough.

Claudie gets ice cream with Nina and tells her about their problem. Nina suggests Claudie doing something to help, like a lemonade stand or sidewalk sale. Claudie isn’t sure what any of the boarders would be able to sell. That night, Claudie thinks about putting on a variety show as a rent party, selling tickets around the neighborhood to earn money. She thinks about organizing, as she doesn’t have a talent to put on. She would have to gather the performers, find a rehearsal space, and get word out. At daybreak, she decides to attempt it.

Claudie finds Selma at the theater and tells her about the variety show, which Selma is excited about. She asks if Claudie will perform, and Claudie, insecure and full of anxiety, doesn’t think she’d be good. Selma suggests focusing on some spot in the back instead of the large crowd, and assures her that lots of performers get stage fright. When Claudie still declines, Selma says that she can still be their director, which is a very important job.

Porter agrees to have his brass quartet perform. Claudie starts writing ideas in her notebook, before going to Miss Zula’s dance class. At the end of the class, she tells them about her variety show and Miss Zula agrees to perform and choreograph a new routine just for her, with her own solo. Claudie is ashamed at the idea of doing a solo, but Miss Zula says this thing that made me bawl my eyes out:

Miss Zula paused. “Claude,” she said, “do you like to dance?”

Claudie paused. She supposed she did, at home at least, when she knew that no one was watching. She would dance with Jody to the phonograph or stand on Daddy’s feet as he twirled her around the living room.

“I think so,” Claudie said, “But I’m not very good at it.”

Miss Zula smiled. “I did not ask if you were good at it,” she said. “I asked if you like to dance.”

Claudie nodded. Then Miss Zula patted her on the shoulder.

“You will miss the dancing,” she said, “if all you do is stare at your feet.

– Meet Claudie, Chapter 8: “Calling the Shots”, pg. 54-55.

Claudie cautiously goes to Gwen’s room. She asks her to paint a backdrop for her show. Gwen says she doesn’t know about painting backdrops and tries to close the door, but Claudie wedges her foot in the doorway. Claudie begs to see her paintings, and Gwen only lets her in after inspecting her hands and ensuring she won’t touch anything. Claudie is amazed by Gwen’s paintings, but shocked that she will sell them as they are art. Gwen compares her father’s cakes to art, and Claudie realizes that artists are not separate from other people. Gwen tries to get Claudie to understand they may not sell a lot of tickets, but Claudie says she still has to try to protect her home. Gwen carefully says she’ll paint the backdrop under one condition: that Claudie will be in the show, too. She says this is because Claudie wants to be an artist, and art is about taking risks and sharing yourself. She suggests Claudie put on a puppet performance and write a sketch for it, and Claudie agrees, though she doesn’t know what to write about.

That next afternoon, Claudie goes to the YWCA pool with Nina, then takes Dizzy Dot to the park. While Nina and Jody play with the dog, Claudie goes through The Brownies’ Book for ideas. Nina discourages her from writing about someone else, though Jody says that he’d wright about the Hellfighters, especially Henry Johnson. Claudie doesn’t like to imagine the war, however. She thinks about asking the writers at the café, but is too shy to.

The day before Mama’s trip to Georgia, Claudie has set the show date for two weeks after Mama’s return, just before rent is due. Claudie asks Gwen, who is surprised to see her, what she should write a sketch about. Gwen and her painter friends set Claudie up to paint for inspiration as Gwen details her backstory. She compliments Claudie’s painting, though Claudie hates it. Gwen assures her that it’s her first try, and the important thing with first tries is noticing and observing. She encourages Claudie to find her inspiration in something new. She wanders down the block, wanting to tell a story about her city, about the feeling she had long ago at the Hellfighters parade, “as if she were invisible yet part of a community at the same time.” She feels discouraged.

After dinner, Claudie asks her mother, who is packing for her trip, what she does when she needs to know what to write. Mama had been busy recently, writing about the NAACP’s anti-lynching campaign and tutoring children in reading and writing to earn extra cash. Mama suggests talking to someone else, who either know information she doesn’t or can help her talk through an idea to see it differently. She compares writing to a conversation, talking to the people they care about. Claudie remembers Gwen’s advice to do something new, and realizes everyone she’s talked to came to Harlem from somewhere different. Claudie begs her mom to go with her to Georgia, so that she can learn her own story.

“You said we never write alone. I think that’s true, and that each person is part of a much larger story. I want to understand my story. Until I do, I won’t be able to write a sketch and... save the boardinghouse.”

Claudie had never spoken words so true– or pushed back so firmly after her mother had told her no.

– Meet Claudie, Chapter 9: “Inspiration”, pg. 69-70.

Hesitantly, Mama agrees, which excites Claudie immensely. Mama warns her there will be different rules they have to follow, and Claudie will have to mind her completely. After talking it over with Papa, Mama gives Claudie a suitcase and Claudie excitedly packs for her own adventure. Lastly, she packs her maroon notebook, daydreaming about the stories she will write for it.

#meet claudie #claudie wells #american girl #american girl dolls #american girls #beforever #1922 #mine

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theovergrowth · 5 months

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Titus Eras

(( this is mainly for thread and plotting purposes, I want to make it easier to interact with Titus throughout his life, ykno? Since I really don’t have one specific version of him in my head all the time. So I figured I’d just lay out all the options, along with each individual eras Playlist linked in the titles! ))

Titus has changed quite a bit throughout his life, certain aspects of his personality ebbing and flowing in how major or minor to how he interacts with the world around him.

Overgrown

(Ages ??-12)

Titus’ childhood, forever colored with golden sunlight, evergreen trees, vast and light blue skies against the mountain range, and later the blood of what he thought were his enemies staining his skin.

It’s human Titus living on the commune, with The Sons, with his father, hidden away from the rest of society within the sprawling mountains of Colorado.

He’s a kind and curious kid, if a bit sheltered and lonely. That rebellious spirit is alive in him however, often sending him past the boundaries of “What is Safe” set by his guardians. He believes in what his people tell him, being far more trusting here than he will be later.

(Or, if it’s a bit later in this era, it’s newly-fae Titus attempting to guide his people as The Overgrowth, tearing through people who happen to come near like a wood chipper through a misplaced hand, fueled by grief and eldritch fury after the murder of his father)

(Re)Integrate

(Ages 13-16)

Titus’ teenage years, brought to the outside world through his defeat as The Overgrowth, separated from his Brothers by people who truly only want what is best for him.

One of these people is his foster father, Gregor Daniels, who he lives with in the small mountain town of Pironbury.

He’s really embracing the rebellious side of himself now, fueled by anger, fear, and frustration both at what had already happened in his past that he couldn’t change and at what was happening now in the present that he couldn’t control.

His identity issues come forward more, as does his fear of trusting and abandonment issues, but there’s less of a fear aspect as there will be later on. This version of Titus believes that the problems facing him are innumerable, but he can get through it with viciousness and grit. Deep down though, he’s still a good kid. It’s a coming of age.

Runaway

(Ages 17-23)

The version of Titus I’ve talked the most on!

After a particularly horrible realization involving The Sons finding Titus in Pironbury, Titus abandons, taking a beat up car (which he later replaces with his van) and hitting the road, constantly on the run from his former Brothers.

Paranoia, guardedness, overwhelming fear and anxiety, pressure, constant movement, and just the crushing isolation of a life without roots are deeply ingrained factors for this period. Titus has learned that Fight doesn’t help him, so Flight kicks in.

But there’s some things that stick with him, even getting strengthened in his mind as this time goes on. Helping others is a big thing for him, as he starts to see more of the world for what it is. Partly, he does it to atone for his actions in his youth. The other part knows he would want help too, knows he’s desperate for it, even if he typically refuses it out of reawakened over-politeness.

Curiousity stays too, sending him on countless adventures as he tries to escape the endless pursuit of The Sons. He meets people, even sometimes chooses to let himself stop and talk to them, but he never allows himself to make friends. He remembers what he did to the last few before he left Pironbury.

He’ll always leave without a real goodbye.

Restart

(Ages 24-early/mid 30’s)

This is Titus when he has learned that Flight only works for so long. He was too tired, and the past just kept coming back.

Technically, Macrides coming back from death and Titus becoming The Overgrowth happen before this era. This period starts when Titus wakes up in a house in Missouri, The Overgrowth is asleep once more, and he cuts all of his hair off.

Love, growth, change, and reflection are all big factors for this period.

The early portion period allows Titus to be a semi-normal 20-something year old dude. He’s still on the road (his friends have a true crime/paranormal podcast they do on-site research for) but he feels a little more stable and free than he did. It’s a process, but he’s learning to be comfortable again.

He’s still very anxious, maybe still a bit paranoid and cagey with details at times, but he tries hard to trust and be more open. He’s seen enough now to know that there are enough good people out there to balance the bad. It’s just about deciding what he wants to be in that equation.

He wants to be better. He wants to change.

But, the past will keep coming back. This time, in a way he’s not quite ready for; the rest of Titus’ archfae ancestors, Macrides’ family, call him to his duties in the Fae Realm as The King of The High Desert.

The Deserts of the Fae Realm are a strange place, whether High or Low. His family, in the High Deserts, live a lifestyle somewhere near royalty in a fantasy novel, while the people of the Low Desert looked more… apocalyptic. And yet, both groups had a strong similarity to something straight out of a spaghetti western.

(This later part would be a bit harder to plot with just because it’s in the fae realm, but Macrides fell into an oasis and ended up in the Mortal Realm we can figure it out if we want to write Silly and/or Terrifying Fae Realm Adventures)

#(( this is part of construction lmao ))#( about. )#( eras. )

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lovemesomesurveys · 11 months

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1. What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? Well, I finally tried edibles to see if it helps my anxiety at all, as well as my insomnia, appetite, and pain. I’ve had horrible anxiety, more so than ever, this past year and the medications my doctor would allow weren’t working. I was feeling really hopeless and scared. The only thing that did seem to help was my pain med, which of course isn’t its intended purpose but I was taking it for that as well, which wasn’t good. I finally decided to give edibles a try with the hope of course of it actually helping me and to also take less pills.

2. What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected? Well, I’ve been trying this new regimen for the past week now and figuring out the right dosages and how many a day and so far it is working. I have definitely cut back on the pills, which is really good.

3. Name somewhere you are planning on visiting in the near future? I sadly have no travel plans. I’m hoping perhaps my new “medication” will help me feel motivated and have the desire to want to get up out of bed more and perhaps at least take a drive to the beach and park as close as we can so I can enjoy it from the car. I’d take that over nothing right now. I really miss the beach. :( Like I said, though, I’m still playing around with the correct amount and what type I take for what. I need a mood lifter kind. While it has helped some of my issues, it also makes me really tired and have zero energy which is not helpful if I want to go somewhere.

4. How often do you go grocery shopping and how much food do you usually get in one go? My mom goes twice a month for our big grocery trips. We get a lot of stuff.

5. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? I have cream of wheat for breakfast, Taco Bell at least 4-5 times a week, and I have a sandwich for lunch just about everyday. I have pizza fairly often, too. It’s so wild how my appetite has changed since being home from the hospital because prior to I ate a lot of chicken, particularly chicken wings. I had that all the time before and now it’s rare for me to get chicken wings or chicken strips. I don’t know why.

6. When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? That’s kinda just how I am for the most part. I’d like to speak up to a couple people, but I just want to cause any drama or hurt anyone’s feelings. I just imagine the conversation going completely wrong and everything getting twisted. I won’t be able to say what I want to say in the right way. I’m getting hurt, too, but it’s best I just don’t say anything.

7. What was the last thing you changed your mind about? I don’t recall.

8. Who was the last friend you saw, and what did you do together? I don’t have any friends.

9. Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else's dreams? I always have random people pop up in my dreams for some reason. Like people I know, but I’m talking like for example this kid I went to elementary and middle school with. We weren’t friends, but acquaintances. I didn’t have a crush on him or anything either. Sooo, I really have no idea why he’s the one to pop up on my dreams randomly.

10. What is something you wish you could say to someone who is no longer in your life, or something you wish they could know? I sometimes wish I could talk to Ty again and tell him some things, but I guess at this point it really doesn’t matter.

11. Instead of flat earth, what do you think of the simulated earth theory, that we're basically all just a giant computer program or virtual reality? Nah.

12. What worries you most about your future? I’m truly afraid of getting worse or never getting much better. I’m afraid of living a life mainly stuck in bed or at home. I’m afraid I won’t be able to travel again or go places. My future terrifies me.

13. What is something you do to feel better when you're scared? I have to just try to distract myself somehow. 14. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? My mom, 100%. I know I always can.

15. What makes you trust someone? When was the last time someone broke your trust? It’s usually just unless I have a reason or feeling that I shouldn’t. You just kind of vibe with someone and gauge how comfortable you feel and how much you want to share.

16. When was the last time you shared a secret with someone, and how did they react? I don’t recall.

17. Are you more likely to give advice or to ask for it? I used to be the one friends came to for advice all the time, but I’m certainly in no place to be giving advice to anyone right now. I also don’t ask for it generally. Very rarely. I keep a lot of shit to myself.

18. When was the last time you felt totally lost, figuratively speaking? How about literally? >> I constantly feel lost, figuratively speaking. I almost never feel lost, literally speaking. <<<

19. In what ways are you emotionally strong? In what ways are you emotionally weak? I feel extremely weak emotionally. And physically.

20. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? One of them that randomly came to mind is “The Giver.”

21. Do you prefer to watch movies or tv alone or with other people? Is there anything you refuse to watch alone? I much prefer watching with others. My mom, brother, and I have several shows we watch together. I find it fun to have someone to react and obsess with.

22. What was the last thing you broke? How about fixed? I don’t recall.

23. Is there a sign or symbol that means a lot to you for whatever reason (eg. seeing certain animals or birds, 11:11 or other repeating numbers, syncs, butterflies, hearts in nature, etc)? My favorite number since I was a kid has been 8. That number comes up a lot in my life, too. The number 9 does as well. I don’t know what it means, if anything, but it’s interesting.

24. Do you have any personal ghost stories or paranormal experiences? No.

25. What do you get complimented on the most? Ha, nothing anymore. I’m a mess.

26. What is something unusual that you find attractive? I find hands attractive, but I think that’s not so unusual or uncommon. I can’t think of anything that would be “unusual.”

27. What time do you tend to eat your first meal of the day? And your last? I tend to eat around 11 or 12PM and my last meal around 8.

28. What was the subject of the last video you watched? I’m watching a YouTuber that does a lot of videos on abandoned places and companies that went bankrupt and/or closed down. The one I’m watching now is about Bed, Bath, & Beyond.

29. When was the last time you traveled out of town, and where to? Over a year ago to the beach.

30. How would you describe your overall aesthetic? I don’t know, man.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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otame · 1 year

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Ina11Go Headcanons(trauma edition)

(Trigger Warning, proceed with caution)

(For my Ina11Go Eldritch Raimon Chronicles AU)

•Everyone in Raimon(Go) suffers from PTSD, due to their traumas.

>Tenma walked home to see his mother's dead body, a shot gun in her chest, and his father holding a pistol. Later, he was fortunately arrested, and Tenma ended up in an orphanage that he escaped from.

>Shindou's parents always force him to be this perfect boy, you know what I mean. And they always tell him to stop being a crybaby, it does him no good.

>Tsurugi was raped three times by his aunt, while his parents were abroad for Yuuichi's surgery. After his aunt was arrested, two years later, his parents manipulated and gaslighted him to join Fifth Sector, because of his selflessness to help his brother.

>Shinsuke's parents died in a car accident on his 4th birthday, and he barely managed to make it out alive. His extended family couldn't accept that he lived and his parents didn't, so they always ridiculed him, called him a demon, and always pester him with "I wish you died instead!" or "I wish you're not born!" And it exhausts him.

>Kirino's mother forces her to be a boy, because her mother wanted one, but Kirino was born female. The 2nd year didn't want to, but was threathened by being sold off to some old man if she didn't comply. Kirino secretly wears dresses to comfort herself.

>Aoi was handed over and over to different families, causing her to lose hope in finding a family who'll keep her out of sheer love. So whenever she finds a new friend, she'll be possessive over them, and this typically ends in her friend leaving her because they think she's creepy, when actually she's just scared that they'll get tired of her, so she tries to force this good girl look as much as possible so that her friends won't leave her.

>Hikaru has a lot of issues about himself, mainly because of his last name, or people making him his uncle in their eyes. Even his parents were mad, and they almost killed Hikaru, when they saw him play with a soccer ball. Fortunately, they were arrested, and he ends up in Sun Garden. This was before he moved into Raimon College(my AU's replacement for Raimon Junior High).

>We all know how Kariya ended up being the doubtful, sly prankster he is, but like Aoi, he has his own possessive edge as well. He won't let anybody ruin his family, or take them away from him, by pulling major pranks. Its one of the few times where they can't suspect it's him, because they 'knew' he can't bring his pranks that far.

>Kurama's parents divorced in his first year, mainly because of financial issues, and his father being a drunkard and a womanizer. He stayed in his mother's custody, who wasn't any better; she neglects him, and he often ends up having to cook and feed for himself. He didn't take the whole thing well, and he's actually scared that his friends will leave him if they learn that about him. So, like Aoi and Kariya, he has a possessive edge on his team. He's actually the only one who knows about Kariya's possessive edge, which is why they help each other in shooing or scaring away anyone they deem as a threat to their family.

>Hamano, despite being cheerful and optimistic, is actually nearing suicidal, because of his parents constant fighting and arguing, ending in him being neglected, not cared for, and like Kurama, couln't admit it to his friends, because he didn't want them to treat him any different from how they treat him. He almost suceeded, if it wasn't for another voice nagging him to stay because of Hayami, the one person he's in love with.

>Who, by the way, has anxiety issues, and self esteem issues. Mainly because of his grandparents treating him like a mistake, eversince his parents died due to cancer, and no one would work for money anymore. He was also raped by his cousin, but no one would belive him.

>Midori has anger issues, but that's because of her going into fight or flight mode back then, due to her mother using almost all of the money their father sent from abroad, who died two years ago due to a plane crash, on his way back home. Her mother uses the money on gambling, drinking, and the likes. This causes her to constantly try to knock some sense into her mother, which end up in fist fights, and Midori always wins. Eversince then, her mother ignores her, but does stop the addiction. But Midori knows otherwise;her mother didn't stop.

>Akane's parents always gaslight and ridicule her, saying that she's nothing, she's a mistake, and that she'll never be anything. Well, it's the mother's fault, since she cheated on her husband, and gained unconsented custody of Akane, and moved in with her new boyfriend, who didn't treat her any better. Eversince then, she'd hide her troubles under the gist of her staring, or air-headedness, when it's her actually trying to think of ways to run away, or ask for help.

>Ichino and Aoyama are both staying at Sun Garden, mainly because both of them have abusive parents who use them as punching bags. Aoyama, to be exact, almost commited suicide too, but Ichino caught him in time, and begged him to not go. He didn't let go of Aoyama the whole night, because he had enough of people he loved in his life dying, after his older sister died in a kidnapping, and his younger brother dying of stillbirth.

>Sangoku would always defend his mother from his abusive father, and this ends up in him getting bruises and cuts all over him from being thrown by beer bottles. His father fortunately got arrested, and his mother got a fair salary job, but he sometimes still gets nightmares abour his father's abuse.

>Kurumada's father was widowed, due to his wife dying of tuberculosis. It was Kurumada's breaking point, because he lost his little sister Chichi just two weeks ago before his mother's death. Eversince then, he too, has developed a possessive edge to the team, though not as worse as Aoi's or Kurama's.

>Amagi has been abandoned by his birth parents, so he ends up in his uncle's care, who treated him like a slave, but was saved by his secretly wealthy aunt, who was like his actual mother to him. His birth parents try to convince him to come home or steal money from his aunt, but he declined and shut them off from his life. However, there was a time where he was almost kidnapped by human traffickers, but fortunately, he was saved by his aunt and the police. Turns out, his parents sold him to some shady guy, and was now getting killed for not meeting their end of the deal. He could care less now about then though. However, when Mahoro stopped being his friend, he was still getting over his aunt's death, due to saving him from getting kidnapped again. Right now, he's still planning on trying to get into Sun Garden.

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crystalninjaphoenix · 1 year

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Just a Bad Dream

Switch AU

A JSE Fanfic

New links! Yay! :D This AU is getting crazy long, so I figured they were needed. Anyway, as for this installment, it’s short, but VERY important. After that strange phone call, Anti starts having bad dreams, and so does Will. But everything will be fine. Surely these mysterious “watchers” have nothing to do with their current problems. =)

More of This AU | | First Chapter | Previous Chapter

Anti’s phone vibrated, signaling a new message. He immediately opened it up, reading the text Jameson had sent in the group chat. And then he just hung up?

Yeah, Anti replied. And he didn’t pick up when I tried calling him back.

He’d just gotten done telling Marvin and Jameson all about his weird phone call from Schneep. Both of them had been just as surprised and confused as he was, though they weren’t quite as angry. He leaned against the side of the sofa and watched as another message came through, this time from Marvin. What did he mean by “watchers?”

I have no fucking idea, Anti said. Id think it was paranoia, but Volt doesn’t really HAVE paranoia. But we can’t do anything with just “watchers”. Where do they come from? What are they watching for? How do we keep an eye out for them? A vague warning does fuck all for us.

I don’t like it, JJ said. It sounds like we’re the target of a conspiracy. We have enough to worry about without anyone watching us.

Anti sighed. He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost time to meet Will at the bus stop. I have to go soon, but you guys havent seen anything strange, right?

Not that I can think of, JJ replied.

I’m stuck inside for a while, Marvin reminded them. So unless the strange thing is in our house, no.

I guess we just keep an eye out for weird shit, then. Talk to you later. Anti stood up, glancing around the apartment one last time. Only a day had passed since Schneep’s call, and he was already nervous as all hell. He kept expecting to see someone peeking through the window. Even though the window was seven floors above the ground. But for now, he forced through that feeling and left his apartment, heading for the building elevator.

It was lucky that there was a bus stop so close to where they lived. When Anti had first planned on adopting Will, he’d had a slight nervous breakdown about having to learn to drive to get his kid to school. Mainly, the breakdown focused on anxiety-fueled imaginary scenarios where he crashed the car. But Jackie suggested that he look up school bus routes, and fortunately, there was one within walking distance.

Anti got there a couple minutes before the bus arrived. There were a few other parents there as well, also taking on the job of walking their kids home. The bus appeared in the distance, grew closer, and then stopped, letting out four or five kids. Will quickly pushed his way through the others, running over to Anti. “Dad!” he shouted, waving.

“Hey, bud.” Anti smiled and took Will’s hand when he offered it. “How was the day?”

“I’m tired,” Will said. As if on cue, his mouth opened in a big yawn. “Ah! See?”

“Hmm. You did look really sleepy this morning.” He remembered how Will had actually slept through his alarm clock, prompting Anti to wake him up. “Any... problems?”

“Uhhh let’s walk a little first.” Will glanced back at the other kids and parents, some of whom were giving Anti disapproving looks. That was fine. He was used to it. People didn’t think a man who dressed like he did would be a good parent, and he was well aware of that. But Will didn’t like it when other adults looked at his dad that way.

“Sure. Let’s go.” Anti turned around, and he and Will started walking back towards their apartment building.

It was about halfway through the walk—five minutes or so—when Will spoke up. “I had another bad dream.”

Anti had been afraid of that. “Why didn’t you say anything this morning?”

Will shrugged. “We were all busy getting ready and stuff.”

“Hmm.” Anti nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I mean...” Will kicked at a loose bit of concrete. “It wasn’t anything new. Dad, what’s the code word?”

“Ah.” Anti had been wondering when that would come up. He leaned down and whispered into Will’s ear. “Minecraft.”

Will laughed. “God, it’s still so silly.”

“And it was still your idea.” Anti grinned, straightening. “You know, if you’re serious about this code word thing, you should really ask me for it at the bus stop.”

“Yeah, I probably should.” Will nodded seriously. “I’ll start doing that. Anyway. Yeah. I had a nightmare. With the gray man.” He took a deep breath. “He... he sounded kind of... mad. He kept telling me to come with him, like, o-ordering me to get close. Not shouting. But his voice was still... loud. And... angry.” He squeezed Anti’s hand tighter. “I don’t think he likes that I haven’t been listening to him.”

“Fu—Frick,” Anti muttered. “That sounds really scary.”

Will shrugged, and said nothing.

“I’m so sorry this is happening, Will,” Anti said softly. “I know it sucks. But you’re being very brave. You can’t listen to him. He’s... very, very bad. You know how Uncle Marvin has been in the hospital?”

“That was because of him?” Will whispered, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah.” Anti sighed. “I’m sorry we haven’t figured out a way to stop these dreams. JJ is trying.” Though, according to JJ, any magic that dealt with dreams and nightmares was notoriously difficult to learn. So it would be a while before any of them had ‘dream protection.’

“It’s okay, Dad,” Will said. “They’re just dreams. Really freaky ones, but when I wake up, I know he can’t actually get to me. Not again.”

Anti’s heart clenched, remembering the night when Distorter took Will and Michelle. “Yeah,” he said, making himself sound more certain than he felt. “He won’t get to you. Not while I’m around.”

Will looked down at the sidewalk, swinging Anti’s hand in his. “Do you ever have nightmares from the gray man?”

“I...I had a couple, but that was a while ago,” Anti said. “Though I did have this weird dream last night. I can’t remember it, but when I woke up, I felt really... unsettled.”

“Unsettled,” Will repeated. “That’s like being anxious, right?”

“Right. It’s kind of a...a feeling like something isn’t right, in a bad way,” Anti explained.

“Do you think he gave you that dream?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Probably. But Anti didn’t want to acknowledge the possibility. “But it’s okay. I know how to handle bad dreams, and how to handle this guy.”

“You should stab him.”

Anti laughed. “What?”

“Stab him.” Will made a stabbing gesture with his free hand, accompanying each stab with a “ree!” sound. “That’s what all your knives are for.”

“My knives are for decoration and protecting myself.”

“Stabbing this guy would be protecting yourself.”

Anti held back another chuckle. “I guess in this case, yeah. But you can’t stab everybody. You know that.” He considered whether to tell Will that he’d already stabbed Distorter at least once. Then decided against it. Might set a bad example.

“Yeah,” Will said, then fell quiet. They walked the rest of the way home in silence, only broken at the end by Will saying, “I have to do a book report.”

“On what book?”

“They said we could choose it. But it can’t be a comic book. Do we have books at home?”

“Not that many.” Anti thought about it. “We could get one from the library. Go one day and look around. When’s it due?”

“March.”

“That’s kind of close. Especially if you need to read a whole book before then. How about we go the day after tomorrow?”

Will nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

They kept talking about school until they arrived back at home. Anti didn’t even realize he’d forgotten to keep an eye out for watchers. He didn’t even notice the new camera installed in the apartment building’s front entrance.

———————

Anti dreamed he was walking somewhere vaguely familiar.

A wide open field, grass stretching for miles, its blades reaching from ankle height to knee height. Occasionally there was a tree or bush. In the distance were the ruins of a stone wall. It must have once been tall and proud, but was now slumped and crumbling. He instinctively knew it was a very old wall, built decades or even centuries ago.

This place should have been bright. There should have been so much green and a bright blue sky. But it all looked colorless. Not black-and-white. Colorless. Like seeing shapes in a dark room that was barely lit.

He walked up to a small grove of trees. Five of them, with a smaller bush that stood farther away. He didn’t know why he approached these trees. Nor did he understand why he walked up to the tallest one. But there was something at its foot. A stack of stones. Flat ones on top of one another. He stopped in front of them and looked down.

There was something at the base of the stack. A rectangular piece of paper that he instinctively knew was a photograph, despite it being face-down. He reached down and picked it up. Then turned it around to look at the picture.

His stomach jolted. His eyes widened. The photograph fell from his hands.

Then he woke up, the details of the dream already fading. Soon they were gone. And he was left feeling... unsettled.

———————

Knock knock knock.

“What the...?” Anti paused the game he was playing and turned around to look at the recording room door. That didn’t sound like Will’s knock. Which was a ridiculous thing to notice, but he’d been raising Will for almost four years now, he knew how his son knocked. This was louder. “Hang on!” He shouts, taking off his headphones and standing up.

The moment he opened the door, something green and glowing hit him in the face. “Gah!” Anti jerked his head backwards. “Sam?”

Sam waved their nerve-tail. Behind them, Jack was standing in the now-open doorway. “Hey.” He smiled and gave a little wave. “We wanted to stop by. Hope you don’t mind. Will opened the door.”

Anti leaned around Jack and saw Will standing nearby, grinning and bouncing slightly. “So are you guys friends now?” he asked.

Sam tapped Anti on the shoulder, as if asking ‘well, are you?’ Anti huffed and brushed them away. “You shouldn’t open the door for strangers, Will.”

“They’re not strangers! Because you’re friends now, right?”

“We’re...acquaintances,” Anti said carefully. He glanced at Jack, who raised an eyebrow but said nothing. “And anyway, you know that the bad guy can look like other people.”

Will stopped bouncing and suddenly looked more serious. “Yeah. I know that.” He pointed at Sam. “But he can’t copy the eyeball! And they wouldn’t hang around this guy, only Jack. So I knew it was okay.”

Anti sighed. Contrary to Will’s beliefs, Distorter had no problem creating a fake Sam. He’d been lured out by that illusion not too long ago. But maybe he shouldn’t mention that. Will might start being scared that anything was Distorter, and though Anti wanted him to be careful, he didn’t want his life ruled by fear. “Alright. You get a pass this one time. But next time there’s someone, anyone, at the door, come get me instead. Okay?”

“Okay.” Will nodded. He then picked up his school worksheets from the coffee table. “I’m gonna do my homework in my room,” he announced. “You boys have fun!” He smiled, then disappeared into his bedroom.

Jack chuckled a little. “‘You boys have fun’?” he repeated.

“He must’ve picked that up from a friend’s parents,” Anti said.

“You know, you’re a lot nicer to him than to anyone else.”

“He’s just a kid.” Anti stared at the closed bedroom door and sighed. “He doesn’t deserve any of this.” Then he shook his head. “Anyway, why are you two here?”

Jack shrugged. Sam flew over and nestled in his hair, newly dyed a dark green. “I wanted to check on you.”

“Thanks, Highlighter Hair,” Anti drawled.

“Hey, that’s not fair! It’s nowhere near highlighter shade now!”

“Thanks, Seaweed Hair.”

Jack rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. That smile soon faded. “Okay but seriously. Are you alright? Jameson texted me the day before yesterday, asked me to pick up some groceries for him and Marvin. I went by their house to drop them off, of course, and they...” He paused, then continued carefully. “It was clear that something big had happened. Marvin just got back from the hospital. JJ was putting up cameras.”

“He was what?” Anti asked.

“Putting up cameras. Weird ones that Sam didn’t like.” Jack reached up and patted Sam as he said that. They tilted up and down, as if nodding in agreement. “You didn’t know about that?”

“Jackson did say something about keeping an eye on things,” Anti said, recalling their last text conversation. “And Marvin was complaining about it. I didn’t ask, though. Probably should’ve. Weird cameras, huh?”

“Some sort of ‘motion detectors,’ apparently. They gave Sam a bad feeling, and that other friend of Jameson’s who was over.”

“Stacy?” Anti asked.

“No, her name was Aoife.”

“Ah.” Anti nodded. He wondered what Stacy was up to. She hadn’t spoken to any of the guys since the second day of Marvin’s hospital stay. Was she alright?

He then physically jolted as he realized he’d thought that. Wondering if Stacy was alright. That wouldn’t have happened two weeks ago. Sure, he didn’t want her to die or anything, but he didn’t idly think about her, let alone hope she was okay. Being trapped in a weird pocket dimension house must do things to your bond with a person. That was kind of annoying.

“So, are you okay?” Jack prompted.

“I’m fine,” Anti said, leaning against the doorway. “You’re right, something big did happen. But it’s over. The only thing worrying me right now is this weird dream I had last night.”

“Dream?” Jack asked. “You want to talk about it?”

“No. Because no matter how you act, you’re not a therapist.”

“You don’t have to be a therapist to ask about dreams. You can be a friend.” Jack paused. “Or a cousin.”

“Don’t hold that over me.” Anti poked Jack in the chest. “You’re not special just because our grandparents had two kids.”

“Okay, okay.” Jack raised his hands. “But seriously. I’d like to know that my long-lost cousin is okay, and not at risk of becoming long-lost again.”

Anti sighed. He looked away, back into his recording room. After a moment, he walked over to his desk and picked up a small butterfly knife next to the computer. He usually liked to keep one nearby while he recorded games, just in case. Though, in case of what, that was something he couldn’t find the words for. “I’m fine,” he said quietly. “Really. As much as I can be. I probably need a real therapist, but I doubt I’ll find one who’ll believe me about anything that’s happened to us.”

“Even if they don’t believe you, a good therapist will help you anyway,” Jack said. “After all, you’re still clearly distressed about these things, real or not. They can help you work through that immediate distress. Then, normally, they’d start working on the bigger picture stuff once you’re okay.”

“Really?” Anti said absentmindedly. “But that’s only if they’re good.”

“Well. You can leave a bad one.”

“Assuming they don’t fucking commit me for seeing a weird smiling gray man whose eyeballs and head bleed.”

Jack blinked. “So that’s what it is.”

“You didn’t know?!” Anti gaped at him. “Sam didn’t tell you?!”

Sam flew up in the air, nerve-tail swishing defensively. “Sam didn’t know everything,” Jack said. He reached up, and they sat down in his hand, letting him take them back downward. “And it seemed kinda rude to ask.”

Anti groaned. “Alright, we’re being chased by a weird smiling guy who used to be this guy who kidnapped his family and then died. He’s an asshole who can make you hallucinate and do other fun stuff to your mind. And he has a fun house that’s actually a weird ass pocket dimension. Got it?”

“Uhhh...I got the gist,” Jack said carefully. “What’s he want with you guys?”

“To kill us, I think. Or take control of us. Or kill some of us and control the others. And kidnap our kids.” Anti rubbed his eyes. He looked down at the butterfly knife and flicked it open, spinning it around a couple times while his heartbeat calmed down.

“Jesus,” Jack muttered. “And you guys have been dealing with this all by yourself? No wonder you’re all so stressed and anxious. That’s some fucking trauma right there.”

“Gee thanks, you’re a fucking genius,” Anti drawled.

“Well. If you ever need anything, we’re here to help,” Jack said quietly. Sam did their little tilting-nodding motion again. “We probably won’t be much use with the magic stuff, but anything else.”

Anti paused. Then sighed. “Thanks,” he muttered, stopping the knife.

“Hey, what’re friends and family for?” A small smile flicked over Jack’s face. “Do you need anything right now?”

Anti shook his head. He folded the knife closed. “I think I’m good for now. Just...keep an eye out, I guess. For anything... off. Around us. For... any sort of ‘watchers.’”

Jack tilted his head. “Watchers?”

“It’s a new thing. We’re not sure what it means yet.”

“Oh. Watchers, okay. Watchers...” Jack trailed off. His brow furrowed. “That sounds kind of familiar. But...I don’t know why.”

“If you can find out, it’ll be a big help. Tell the others if you figure anything out. Or... me, I guess.” Anti paused. “Not tomorrow, though. I promised to take Will to the library for some homework shit.”

“Got it.” Jack nodded. “We’ll keep an eye out, ourselves. Three of them.” He pointed at his own two eyes behind his glasses, then at Sam, who jumped a couple times in his hand.

Anti held back a laugh. “Alright. Go do that right now then and leave my apartment. I was in the middle of something when you showed up.”

“Alright, alright, if you insist.” Jack grinned, and gave a little mock salute. “Good luck with your thing.”

Jack and Sam left, and Anti returned to his recording. The rest of the day passed as it normally did. He stopped playing games in time to make dinner for him and Will, the two of them talked for a little, then Anti started editing his videos. At eight o’clock, he made sure Will was getting ready for bed, and they said good night at eight thirty. Anti returned to editing, until it was well past midnight. He might have gone later into the night, but he felt unusually sleepy, so he stopped there for the night, pulling out the sleeper sofa and going to bed.

———————

Anti dreamed he was walking somewhere familiar.

It was a wide field, grass of varying length stretching on for miles, occasionally interrupted by trees or bushes. In the distance were the ruins of an old stone wall, crumbling under the weight of decades or even centuries. Everything around him was colorless, like a dark room with hardly any light.

Anti looked at the wall, and somehow knew that if he walked past it, he would eventually find his way to a dirt road. And if he followed it one way, he would find a road paved in asphalt. If he followed it the other way, he would reach a run-down house, only one story, but with an attached garage. Despite this, the car would be parked outside.

But he didn’t walk that way. He knew he didn’t want to, but the reason for why seemed far away. Instead, he walked towards a grove of five trees, with a small bush nearby. At the foot of the tallest tree was a pile of flat stones, stacked on top of each other. When he stopped next to it, the stack reached halfway between his hip and his knee.

At the base of the stack, nestled between the tree roots, was a small, rectangular piece of paper. He instinctively knew it was a photograph, and he reached down to pick it up and turn it over. At the last moment, dread filled his stomach, and he fought to look away from it. But it was too late. His hand was already moving, and he was somehow unable to stop it.

There was a boy in the picture. A very familiar one.

Something was written along the bottom of the photograph in black permanent marker.

Nononono wake up wake up wakeupwakeup—

He started to read it.

—nowakeupwakeupnowakeuppleasewakeup—

Here lies...

—WAKEUPWAKEUPPLEASEGODWAKEUP—

———————

Anti gasped, opening his eyes.

It was just a dream. Just a dream, that was all. He tried to remember what it was about, but the details were already fading. All he could recall was the feeling of dread that built into pure terror before he managed to shake himself awake. He took a few deep breaths to calm down. The cold air stung his throat.

...wait.

Where was he?

The confusion overrode the remaining fear from the dream, and he looked around. He was... outside. Not only that, he was somewhere he’d never been before. Not only that, but he was standing up, not lying down.

This was some sort of outdoor parking garage. Very strange, because there were only a few of those in the city. Anti was standing on the top floor, which was devoid of cars save for four or five stragglers. He spun around, taking things in. Then he half-ran over to the edge of the garage and peered down. The ground was four stories down, covered in concrete. He could see some boxy buildings in various colors, most of which were only two stories at most.

There was nowhere like this in Mirygale.

Anti stepped back from the edge, suddenly overcome with a feeling of dread and vertigo. “What the fuck?” he muttered. Then he turned to look around again.

There were people now. A lot of them, running up the ramp that connected this floor of the garage to the one below it. They were all heading straight for him. Anti backed up, instinctively putting his hand in his jacket pocket. Yep, there was a knife in there. One of his bigger ones (though he didn’t remember grabbing it.) He pulled it out, and the six-inch blade lent him some comfort. His eyes darted around.

The people were already fanning out around him. They all wore variations on the same black uniform. Some had helmets, some didn’t. Some had padding on the chests, some didn’t. None of them were carrying weapons, but that wasn’t reassuring. “What the fuck?” Anti whispered again. Had he somehow found his way onto a military base? But... how?

Most of the people stopped walking, giving him a wide berth. They were all staring. Anti’s eyes darted about. A few more were walking closer. These ones didn’t have helmets. They also stopped halfway to him, leaving just one to approach him, a man who still stopped well out of arm’s reach.

“Who are you?” Anti asked, holding up his blade defensively.

“Sir, you are on private property,” the man said. “We’re going to need you to come with us.”

“Okay, but who the hell are you?” Anti demanded. He scanned this man. The uniform didn’t give much away. Except for one small detail: a white patch on the arm. Some sort of oval with three hollow circles inside, stacked in a triangle formation. It sort of looked like an eye.

“You are on IRIS property, sir,” the man said. “Now please follow us.”

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