#make peace w eachother and theyre both equally strong

[sudut]

standrew brainworms wont fucking leave my brain!!! here you go. hopefully one day i’ll turn it into proper fic for once

these are not exactly chronological... i’m just putting them down as they appear and haunt my life so they can at least leave my brain and life here instead in text.

- steven and his routines: daily journaling and meditating, nightly prayers, brushing his teeth and washing his face before bed

- andrew's still working for a bit when steven's winding down. He's trying to find a place who would share their recipe for his next 'i tried making ___ from worth it' episode. They will release more after this season of worth it wraps up. 

- simba and wellington interacting bc i want to get diabetes 

- that day steven recorded his watcher weekly content and by the end andrew tuned in to say hi. They didn't put it in the final cut. 

- Steven is settling in for bed. Calling out to andrew passing by, "stay for me for a bit?" "... fine." 

- steven's blue shampoo is running out and the color of his hair is starting to fade. They talked small stuff but steven’s clearly slowing down. Andrew was gently stroking his head as he fell asleep. He left after putting the lights off.

- they were having their third day of spoonbyh weekly mealprep thing but since theyve eaten their dessert last night they made some pudding. Some milk are spilled ("I cant let you touch anything," Andrew sighed fondly, and wellington got to it before they can wipe it clean off the floor. Steven laughed, and brought simba to go at it too. Andrew has pictures of steven squattig near them and smiling.) he keeps it for himself.

- the new couch steven's mom bought them kind of clashes against the whole minimal thing andrew had going on--the color and design not the kind of thing he’d choose for himself, subtly breaking the theme along with the funny jackets hanging on the back of the seat, new whiteboard on the fridge (where steven writes his infuriatingly earnest messages), basketball and guitar on the corner of the room, the new side table and shelf that are colored a bit too dark for the whole light minimalist thing. The orange cat. Assorted Watcher merchs in a pile on the coffee table and on their desks--he's been drinking out of their mugs for months now. 

- oh, the damn body pillow. Andrew insisted of dry cleaning the thing eventhough steven insisted he washes it on his own regularly. Bought some new covers just in case. Steven's hugging the damn thing now. (It's fine, Andrew can hug him hugging it when they sleep. It is fine. Yes.)

- Andrew pauses. Looking around inside his flat. Realizing, that it is the reflection of his life; something he had built for himself for years slowly getting filled everywhere with little imprints of steven.

- he got up, shutting the laptop and putting things away. Went to their room to find wellington curled next to steven’s leg. He kissed them both and went under the cover.

#grammar? tenses? who the fuck understands that shit im just decolonizing #ye ill fix them later #im just filled to the brim with little notes of observation #and im going crazy with the weight of this knowledge #steven lim the purest fucking man i ever fucking know #i guess i should also add more detail about andrew but man im Hyperfocusing #im also greatly invested in wellington and simba interacting #as andrew would also probably? #i HOPE nobody whos got relation w them read this. i hope they never see this #RPF is a fucking tough thing for me bc my desire to fantasize about Real Actual Living People and the morality of said fantasies can never #make peace w eachother and theyre both equally strong #but ya