#makes me feel like creating i love these guys so much

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

You asked for Spencer Reid and Reader requests, particularly plus size, and I am so down bad for that man! Especially later seasons him.

Could I have one where he and the reader are intellectual peers but also enemies? Like she's on the team and just as wicked smart as him and into old literature and languages but they constantly butt heads? And the team knows they really just have feelings for each other, but they'll never admit it. Maybe the reader admits it to Penelope or someone one night drinking that he's hot but she never thought he'd actually sleep with her bc she's fat, but she'll take his attention any way she can get it. Maybe Spencer overhears and proceeds to show her just how hot he finds her arguing with him? 👀 Thank you in advance, girlie!

༉‧₊˚. 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 || 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

— pairing: spencer reid x plus size!reader

— summary: you and spencer hate each other, that much is obvious... right?

— warnings: very surprisingly crude language in this, self-doubt, implied insecurities, misunderstandings, e2l, they're in love and everyone else knows besides them, i made them dorks i don't apologize, mentions of wet dreams, mentions of male masturbation, dirty thoughts, kissing, stripping, vaginal fingering, spencer's dirty mouth, lots of reassurance 'cause i'm a sap, spencer reid #1 consent king, missionary, unprotected sex, sex god spencer?!?! (he does his research), pleasure dom!spencer, switch r & spencer, heavy praise, and a fluffy ending to tie this all up in a nice little bow!

— wc: 3136

⋆ a/n: okay i do admit that this is RIDICULOUSLY long, but i knew exactly what i was getting into writing this and honestly i had so much fun! i don't think i've ever created such characters that have so much chemistry with each other, so cheers to that! (unedited unfortunately :[)

masterlist | AO3

As soon as you hear Spencer’s voice, you make a point to groan obnoxiously loud.

“And just to think I would be able to go home without a headache today.” 

You could feel the glare from said man burning a hole in the back of your head, so you swivel your chair around in order to face the music – in a pleasurable masochist kind of way. His annoyingly handsome face was twisted up in irritation – much to your glee – his eyebrows turned down, and his perfect, plush lips pulled into a deep frown. 

You could tell you had interrupted him saying something that he deemed important, most likely a fact that you and him would go back and forth on, and you couldn’t be more pleased with yourself.

“Funny you mention that seeing as though your voice is the cause of mine.” He bit back, his eyes narrowed into slits. “Aw, you think of my voice?” You tease. “Only in my nightmares.” You wink at him. “You still think about me.”.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Luke piped up from his own desk, drawing the attention from your other intrigued co-workers in the bullpen. “Oh here we go.” Tara said in amusement at Luke’s rambling.

“Back when I was a kid there was this girl that I went to school with, and I would always tug on her hair or try to trip her,” His voice was almost reminiscent. “Everyone thought I hated her, when in reality I was just trying to get her attention.”

“Ah,” Matt said with a smile, “The classic ‘boy bullying the girl he likes,’ or in this case, it’s the girl this time.” Your cheeks began to heat and your eyes went wide, Spencer’s own face and the tips of his ears turning an admirable pink hue.

“Absolutely not -”

“What? No -”

Both Spencer and you stumbled over each other to try and defend yourself, but you didn’t have a chance because Emily’s voice cut through whatever was about to be said next, the woman making haste from her office and into the room with the round table.

“Alright you guys, enough. We’ve got a case.”

“To a job well done!” Penelope cheered as she held up her citrusy alcoholic beverage in the air, signaling she wanted to toast.

You smiled indulgently at the woman sitting next to you, clinking your glass with hers noisily and flickering your eyes over to where a disheveled Spencer Reid sat. You didn’t say anything to him though, because you’re a big ol’ softie and like to let the boy wonder rest before you have him back on his toes.

His eyes met yours the same time your glasses collided. You wish you could say that the vibrations from the clinking was the cause of the shiver that forced its way down your spine, but you knew better. 

It was like the rest of the bar disappeared, the sound of the others joining in on your rejoicing fell on deaf ears. You could have sworn his dark brown puppy-dog eyes drank you in before he looked away and cleared his throat, taking a rather comically large gulp of his water.

Your eyelashes fluttered like a thousand butterflies wings as you rushed to drink your own beverage.

“Okay, what was that!?” You felt Penelope’s finger poke at your ribs before you actually heard her. 

“Ow - fuck! What was what?” You yelped quietly, your hand reaching down to bat away her stabbing digits. “The - the -” She fought to portray her words before her face lit up when she found the correct ones, “The eyefucking!” 

Your stomach erupted in butterflies, “Eyefucking? What eyefucking?” You asked with a scoff, hiding your blush behind the rim of your mug. 

“Oh, please, don’t give me that.” It was Penelope’s turn to scoff at you. “Everybody knows that you and Spencer like each other.” She said it almost like it was a fact, leaning forward to take a smug sip of her drink through the miniature black straw.

Spencer knew listening in on Penelope and your conversation was inappropriate; but in his defense, you guys weren’t really quiet about what you were talking about.

“I -” He heard you begin, “It’s one-sided.” Was all you said before draining your beer. “So you admit it!” Penelope exclaimed with a gasp.

Spencer felt his eyes go wide at her words, but there was this desperate feeling that spread throughout his body; one that caused his fingers to twitch and the hair stand up on the back of his neck.

“When you put it like that it sounds childish!” You complained slightly, biting at the meat of your lip. “I… I’m just not his type you know? Like - you know better than anyone that guys don’t pay attention to girls like us, so you have to learn to improvise.” You were cringing at your own words, but the liquid in your cup was enough to loosen your tongue and lower your inhibitions.

“Was me choosing to constantly argue with him the smartest way to try and peak his interest? No, but I knew he liked a challenge and well… it definitely wasn’t the proudest conclusion I ever came to, but what was I supposed to do? It isn’t like Spencer would date me let alone actually want to sleep with me.”

Spencer wanted to argue with you about how wrong you were, to tell you about every thought he’d ever had about you.

He wanted to tell you about how much you frustrate him, how at first, he thought he hated you and it took him an embarrassingly long time to realize he hated how badly he wanted you; hated how many dirty dreams he had included you and that plush body of yours. He’d wondered how soft you were, how you smelled and tasted. 

Did your moans and whines sound as enchanting as your laugh? Did your eyes twinkle the same way when you were about to cum? 

Those thoughts kept him up at night and his hands in his pants, stroking himself to his unlimited imagination all revolved around you. Those were the days that he was more prone to pick fights with you, mostly because he was embarrassed, ashamed, and quite frankly plain ol’ horny.

Spencer thought you were just so sexy, especially when he had managed to light that fire under your ass that really got you going. He wasn’t a sadist or a masochist by any means, but he loved when you yelled at him. So, for you to think so lowly of yourself it almost drove him mad because you didn’t know.

But you were going to.

You were going to kill whoever was bothering you on your day off.

The knocking was unexpected, but so was who was responsible for the noise.

“Spencer?” You asked in surprise. 

Usually you were prepared for your exchanges with the man, but if your pajamas were anything to go by, you were anything but. Spencer felt his mouth go dry at the sight of your tits sitting braless in a thin undershirt, your soft tummy slightly straining against the cotton material and a pair of shorts that look like they were practically strangling your thighs.

The only thing he could really say was… “Do you know how infuriating you are?”

Your eyebrows furrowed and you crossed your arms over your chest, and little did you know the action pressed the tops of your breasts over the hemline. “Excuse me?” You almost scoffed, “Please don’t tell me you came all the way here just to argue with me.”

“No I - fuck just let me finish.” This was not how he wanted this to go. You looked like you wanted to say something but your curiosity made you choose to stay silent.

“Do you know why you’re so infuriating?” He asked, taking a tentative but careful step towards you. “Because you haunt my every living thought. I see you when I’m awake, I see you when I’m asleep. I can’t… I can’t escape you! I can’t escape how I feel about you.”

Your eyes were wide and your brows were furrowed; it looked like you almost couldn’t breathe.

“But you want to know the worst part?” His hand lands on your cheek and his thumb gently caresses the skin there. “You have the audacity to think that I wouldn’t want you.” 

“You want me?” You asked in disbelief. “But I… but I thought you hated me? I mean - I haven’t been all that nice to you.” You attempt to joke weakly, but your body is on fire; your stomach is tangled up in knots. You were trembling in excitement at his words but in disbelief too.

“Do you have any idea how much I love arguing with you?”

You laughed at his words, your lips slipping into a small smirk as you threw your arms around his neck in an act of boldness. “Oh yeah?” You hummed seductively. “You wanna show me how much?”

“Yeah,” He replied breathlessly. “I do.”

And just like that his mouth was on yours and a long leg shot out behind him to shut your front door. The slam made you yelp, but it quickly melted into a giggle against his lips when he reconnected them.

Spencer tugged you closer to him, and God the feeling of your body was so much better than anything his subconscious could have conjured up. You felt so soft and the front part of your torso pressed against his chest in a way that if he didn’t have you naked under him soon he was going to go crazy.

“Where’s your bedroom?” He didn’t want to pull away from you, but he wanted to do this right.

“I didn’t know you were a gentleman, Reid.” You teased with a dazed smile on your face. “There’s a lot of things that you don’t know about me.” You quirked a brow. “Oh really? How about you tell me?”

“Later,” He said with a lazy shake of his head, “Later.”

His hand reached down to cup your ass, your crotch rubbing on the large boner restrained by his pants. You moaned quietly at the feeling, and found yourself saying, “Down the hall and to the left.”

When you arrived, he couldn’t keep his hands off you; they grabbed at your back, ass, waist, hips. There was so much of you that he had no idea where to start. All he knew is that he wanted all of you right now.

“Can I take your shirt off, please?” His words almost came out as a whine and it welcomed a fresh wave of arousal in your panties. “Take off whatever you want, I’m yours.” A reassuring confession that Spencer had no idea he needed to hear. 

His lithe, veiny hands tugged at your top first, dragging it over your head and throwing it somewhere random. Your pants and panties were next to go and you couldn’t help but shiver at Spencer's intense stare.

“I’m uh- feeling a little vulnerable here, could you lose a layer or two?” 

The man blinked rapidly, his fingers shooting to undo the buttons on his cardigan. “Yes, yeah of course, sorry I -'' You grabbed the shaky digits. “Calm down, take it slow. I’m not going anywhere.” It was a light jab meant to ease his nerves. For a moment he looked unsure but you gave an encouraging smile.

After his clothes disappeared he held you by your waist, walking you backwards until your calves hit the bed. You quickly hurried to scale the mattress until your head hit the pillows.

“God,” Spencer gulped. “This is so much better than what I imagined.” You giggled slightly. “As much as I appreciate your flattery, I want you to fuck me. Now.” You said it with such simplicity that his eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets at your crudeness.

He swallowed his shock. “Whatever the lady wants.”

He hurried to crawl over your leaning body; you cup his cheek in an act of haste, dragging him down to lay on top of you. His own hands didn’t stop their determined trail, tracing the soft planes of your plush body until he reached your wet cunt.

You whine loudly at the feeling of Spencer’s fingers stroking your damp slit.

“So responsive.” He murmured with delighted smirk. You go to say something snarky but you’re quickly cut off when he begins to rub tight circles on your clit. “‘M sensitive.” You gasp against his lips, your back arching and pressing further into him.

His body falls to the side, laying next to your naked one with a cheek balanced on his fist. “I’m gonna make you cum on my fingers first,” Spencer whispers into your ear. His ring finger entered your warmth slowly and he felt himself choke on his words. You mewled, a hand shooting up to tangle in his long, curly hair, the other grabbed at his wrist.

“Then, I’m gonna make you cum on my cock.” After a few experimental twists of his wrist, his middle finger joins the first. Your breathing speeds up with every movement of his digits. 

“Afterwards, ‘m gonna clean you up and take you out to eat.” Your brain could barely process what he was saying, but every word that left his mouth added to the swarming butterflies in your gut – which felt so juvenile seeing as though he was already knuckle deep inside you.

“And when we get home, I’m gonna eat this sweet pussy for dessert.” 

Your eyelashes were fluttering rapidly, your hips moving frantically on his fingers in an attempt to try and get him deeper. Spencer must have sensed what you needed, because with a few firm swipes on your sensitive clit sent you spiraling over the edge.

“Spencer, Spencer, Spencer… I - I -” Your gummy walls squeezed his digits, and the only thing keeping you grounded was the heat coming from his body.

“Wow.” You laughed breathlessly. “Wow indeed.” He mimics with the same amount of amusement.

“Are you okay to keep going?” He asks. 

“Are you kidding?” The look on his face was almost laughable, and you gave his naked chest an encouraging pat. “Hell yeah I’m good, how about you?”

“If I told you I could cum just from watching you, would you believe me?” You roll your eyes and snort. “We’ll find out later, loverboy. Get up here.”

He scrambles to get on top of you, but then stops. “Wait, wait,” He reaches behind your head and grabs a pillow. “Lift your hips up for me.” Your eyes go wide, because who in the fuck taught him that? Though you move a bit slowly through your surprise, he manages to get the soft thing under you, your lower back now elevated.

But all excitement dies out when he realizes there might be no protection, he looks like he could almost cry.

“It’s cool, Spence. I’m on the pill and I… I haven’t had sex with anyone in an embarrassingly long time.” You admit shyly, your eyes casting to the side nervously. “I’m clean too. I don’t really remember the last time I’ve had sex either.” 

You guys make eye contact and erupt into a fit of giggles, “To relearning the art of sexual intercourse then.” Spencer scrunches his nose up at your wording, but you don’t give him any time to retort because you’ve already placed two hands on his face, tugging his head down to kiss your smile-split lips.

He takes the time to kiss you for a moment before reaching down to line his dick up to your entrance. You both shiver at the sensation. You guys disconnect your lips to watch him enter you, your foreheads pressed together and breaths mingled in anticipation.

You moaned in unison when he slowly but surely seethed himself in you fully, and your body tensed at the long awaited intrusion. “Gimme a sec.” You gulped. “Yeah, yeah, of course.” He panted.

You allowed yourself a moment to relax, brushing your fingers through his curls as a way to comfort Spencer as well. After taking a few more seconds to enjoy the raw, intimate moment between the two of you, you said, “Okay. Okay, I’m good.” 

Spencer licked his lips and rolled his hips tentatively, and your breath hitched. A string of whimpers were soon to follow with every drag of his cock against your sensitive inner walls, the leftovers of your previous orgasm leaving your body feeling electric.

Your mouth drops open into an ‘o’ shape when his tip brushes your g-spot.

“Right - right there Spence…good boy - fuck - good fucking boy.” 

The term of endearment was an accidental slip of the tongue, but it had frayed some nerve in his body, because the groan that left him was guttural and hungry.

“Say -” He huffs. “Say it again, please.” The pace of his thrusts speed up as he begs, and your nails drag down his back. “You’re my good boy, Spencie.” His eyes flutter shut at the praise and he doesn’t bother to be gentle anymore.

“Mphm! More - I need more.”

“Okay, okay.” He rushed to balance on his elbow so that his other arm could slip between the two of your bodies to rub at your clit. Your back arched, and Spencer all but throbbed inside of you, his balls tightening and threatening to cum right then and there; but ever the gentleman, he waited, his stomach sucked in tightly and his body jolting quivering.

“I - I’m gonna cum.” 

It didn’t take much to pull you into a kiss. It was sloppy, and messy, and lewd and all of those other wonderful synonyms. Spit dribbled down your chins and with one last hard thrust that almost sent you up the bed, you gripped onto the older man for dear life.

Everything went white as you came; your hearing, your vision, every single cognitive thought you had pretty much flew out the window.

It was Spencer gently wiping the sweat off of your brow that brought you back down to reality, your lungs finally opening up and expanding for that much needed air.

“Hey,” He cooed. “There you are.”

“Hi,” You sighed with a ditzy smile on your face.

There was a moment of silence before you said, “How about we save the oral for breakfast?” Spencer laughed, but nonetheless nodded in agreement. “That sounds perfect.”

“So, what’s for dessert then?” He couldn’t help but ask. “Hm…” You pondered for a moment. 

“How about ice cream?”

“I like ice cream.” But then he added, “But I like you more.”

“Ugh, you’re the worst.” You groaned, covering your eyes, but your grin gave you away. “I like you too, I guess.”

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @celtic-crossbow @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @alixwriter @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus @khxna

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[artofvisualshock]

Messages from the GazettE to the fans (Google translations)

〈 RUKI 〉

At the end, he said, "I want the GazettE to be forever." I think what he meant by "forever" was that he hoped that the amazing scenes he saw from the stage in 2023 would continue forever.

The scenes he saw with his fans, the happy faces of his fans, and the scenes where we all sang together were treasures that could not be replaced by anything else, and I think he hoped that moment would continue forever.

I remember him saying that he wanted to perform live soon.

Even now that he's grown up, he was a kind and passionate man who can honestly say, "Even if something bad happens, it's the most fun when we get together like this and laugh with the band members."

I loved that honesty.

This year was no different, and every year on our birthdays we would jokingly tell each other to take care of our health.

The band will never be a four-man band.

No matter what anyone says.

Because you're the only bassist we have.

Because I believe that my soul is always beside me to the right.

I'm sure everyone can feel it, even if they can't see it.

The proof that Reita has built up in the GazettE so far will not disappear and will definitely live on.

I believe that, so I will continue to sing beside him so that his soul can be right beside me.

I will not become the GazettE that Reita hates.

I don't want to make him sad.

Although all humans live in a finite life, I believe that souls never disappear.

Reita's soul, the members, myself, and the fans.

I want to continue to perform live shows that make all the people who loved me want to come back to the stage forever, even after they have become souls.

So it is only with each and every one of our fans that we can create the scenery that we hoped he would be eternal.

That's why I want him to stay by my side and be there, unchanged from now on.

He should look at me and smile, and think, "He was the best guy!", rather than looking at me with a sad face.

We are more determined than ever to protect this band.

We will make Reita's wish for eternity come true.

So, Reita, rest assured that you can come to every live show from heaven.

Your seat will always be there.

You're going to be super busy from now on.

I'll contact you again when the schedule is decided.

-----------------

<Uruha>

To all the fans who have supported REITA up until now.

I think he was a huge support for everyone, and for me.

I myself have not been able to accept and realize the fact that he is no longer here and that we can no longer stand on stage together.

There may be many things that I will come to understand little by little from now on.

However, if I continue to be drowning in sadness, I will not be able to make his wish for eternity come true, and I strongly feel that now is the time for me to have the strength to look forward and move forward.

I also think that the path we walked together until now was irreplaceable for him, and I think it will continue to live in the hearts of everyone and myself.

He gave us so much, and we walked together for so long, and he is still and will always be our best friend.

Please treasure all the words, memories, and love he left behind in your heart.

REITA will continue to exist and live in everyone's hearts.

We would like to express our sincere gratitude to everyone who has supported and cheered on the GazettE REITA.

-----------------

〈 Aoi 〉

For a long time, the members and a small staff have been working on various projects, saying "this and that," but writing this letter was the last thing I wanted to do.

There have been moments when I felt like giving up on my dreams.

Every time, we talked about it again and again, sometimes pushing each other, and pulling the members' arms so that they wouldn't give up.

Because we were such a band, the GazettE has been able to keep moving forward without stopping.

REITA, you're not the one who wishes for eternity, you're the one who connects eternity.

I can't say something clever like "I'll take care of you."

I wanted to make more music with you, and see more scenery together.

Every scenery is wonderful because we see it with the five of us, surrounded by our fans.

I don't know why, but it's so painful that I can't make it happen even though I have so many things I want to say.

When I get there, I'm going to start with a big lecture. I know it's lonely because we're gone so suddenly, but please take a rest until then.

I have a few more things to do here.

Thank you for walking this long road with me. Rest in peace.

-----------------

〈 Kai 〉

For me, REITA is an immeasurably big presence, saved by his many words and sounds, the mood maker for the band, and all I remember are really fun things, and above all, the sight of him shining on stage.

He is the best partner and the only one in the rhythm section.

That has never changed, and will never change in the future.

I want to continue carrying his feelings and continue with the GazettE with even greater resolve.

Finally, to all the fans and people involved who have supported us for the past 22 years.

Thank you very much.

And from now on, our feelings will remain the same and we would like to continue running as a group of five, so please continue to support us.

REITA

Thank you for all your hard work.

With the same feelings, we will continue to protect the GazettE together with our many friends... I promise.

There are many friends out there who don't want your 22 years to go to waste, and they are waiting for you.

You must come to our shows too!

Let's have some good sake again.

#the gazette #reita #rip #uruha #ruki #aoi #kai

[disco-tea]

Not but I don’t think I’ll ever be over the way they wrote Mother Gothel’s manipulation . The way it’s woven into everything she does. The way you can tell by watching her with Repunzel that this is years and years and layers and layers of manipulation. This is a whole little world Gothel had built around her and Repunzel with nobody to stop her. The way it’s apparent from the first scene. The way she insults repunzel and puts her down and tries to work on her self esteem but hides its behind “oh I’m just teasing. Don’t be so sensitive.” The way Mother Knows Best is a masterclass in narcissistic manipulation. The way she gaslights Repunzel by calling the floating lights “stars” even though Repunzel is smart enough to figure out that’s not what they are. The way Gothel has to have all the power, even in small ways like her having a door and Repunzel having a curtain. The way even their little game of “I love you” is a narcissistic play for power because Gothel’s line is always “I love you most” because she’s SUCH a good mother, you see. She’s sacrificed SO MUCH. She’s basically a martyr. She takes SUCH good care of Repunzel. Nobody could EVER love as much as her.

The way Gothel and Repunzel have an ‘argument’ which is actually just Repunzel having a reasonable request and Gothel giving a whole big manipulative spiel followed by a harsh rebuff. Then she immediately leaves, which is also another play for power. She controls when she and Repunzel can have a conversation and they’re not having it right now. She comes back a tries to pretend it never happened, except it did and they both know it, so Gothel is like “oh I’m making your favorite soup! Isn’t it wonderful? Doesn’t it make up for the fact I’ve ruined your whole life and I told you you can NEVER EVER have a life outside the toxic bubble I’ve created for us? Why would you ever want to leave??” Which is exactly how abusive relationships work, the way they offer the bare minimum and act like its might as well be a gift from God. And the worst part is, many people who are abused take it and DO feel like it really is a special thing because they’re not used to getting even the bare minimum. Another really good detail too is the after Gothel’s blow up (“now I’M the bad guy. Oh poor me”) Repunzel DOES want to drop the subject so she tells Gothel she just wants paint instead and calls the floating lights “stars,” thus making a subtle concession and making Gothel feel like she’s won, which I’m sure exactly how all their ‘aruguments’ in the past have ended: with Repunzel having yield and Gothel making sure she’s knows she’s the one in control. Overall it’s just so well written and one of the best representations of real manipulations that I’ve seen

#tangled #repunzel #mother gothel

[black-arcana]

the GazettE members says farewell to Reita

With the passing of Reita, the members of the GazettE have shared their heartfelt and heartbreaking farewells to the brightest bassist out there, Reita.

In the farewell messages, the members make mentions of the “forever” that Reita wished for, referring to Reita’s last tweet posted the day before his passing.

Reita’s last tweet: “I hope that the GazettE lasts forever”.

In our translations below, we tried to keep the messages as faithful to the original source as possible, taking into account nuances such as vocalist Ruki’s use of hiragana for “Reita” (れいた), and the other members’ use of “REITA” in capital letters, and more.

Please read every word that the members had to share.

Vocalist Ruki

I think the meaning of what [Reita] posted at the end, “I hope that the GazettE lasts forever”, is that he wanted to be able to see that amazing view from the stage in 2023—the view that he saw with his own eyes—for the rest of time. That view he saw together with you, the fans. Your happy faces. That place where all of us raised our voices together. That wonderful, irreplaceable treasure. I think that he thought it would be wonderful if that moment would last an eternity. I remember you saying that you wanted to play a show soon. “Even when I’m having a hard time, getting together with my band members like this and laughing is when I’m having the most fun”, he was the type of kind, passionate guy, who even after becoming an adult could say this with total honesty. I loved that honesty. We even joked around about taking care of our health this year, just like we did every year on our birthdays. This band will never be a 4 member thing. No matter what anyone says. You’re the only bassist for us. I know your soul is always going to be there on my right-hand side. Nobody will be able to see it, but we’ll feel it. That proof of life that you built with the GazettE will live on. That’s what I believe. That you’ll always be beside me as I keep singing, Reita. We’ll never become something that you’d hate. I don’t want to make you sad. Humans lives are finite, but I think the soul remains. Your soul will live on, in us, in me, in our fans. I want to keep playing shows that will make those I love want to come back and play, even when they’re just souls. Because all of our fans are here for us, we can create that view he wanted to see and keep him here with us forever. So please stay by my side from here on out, too. I know he’d like it best if you remembered him with a smile, and how amazing he was, instead of being sad when you see him. We’ll be more than ready to look after this band from here on out. We’ll show you that “forever” you wished for, Reita. So make sure you come down from heaven for every show, okay? We’ll always have a seat for you. Things are going to get really busy from here on out. Once we’ve settled on a schedule, I’ll contact you again.

Guitarist Uruha

To all the fans who supported REITA until now, I think he was a huge source of support for everyone, including myself. I still can’t accept that he’s not here, that we won’t be able to stand on stage together again. I think there’s going to be a lot of things I’ll come to understand slowly over time. But drowning in sorrow forever won’t let us bring his wish to see “forever” to life, and I deeply feel that I need the strength to keep moving forward from here on. I also think that the road we paved with him to get here is irreplaceable, and I think we all want to keep that alive inside of us in the future. He gave us so much, and stood by our side for so long, and now and forever, he will be one of my closest friends. Please keep all the words, the memories, and the love for everyone that he gave us in your hearts. REITA will live on in our hearts. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for always supporting the GazettE and REITA in more ways than one.

Guitarist Aoi

Out of all the things and all the work I’ve had to do with these members and our small team of staff, this is the only one I haven’t wanted to do. There was a time in the past when I considered giving up on my dream. Back then, after so many discussions, and some encouragement, the other members managed to convince me not to give up. That’s the kind of band we are, and that’s how the GazettE came to be where it is. REITA, you’re not the type of person who wishes for eternity. You’re the type who is eternal. To someone like you, I can’t say something clever like “I’ll carry the weight of your burden too”. I wanted to make more music with you, and see so much more together. No matter where or what, if it’s all 5 of us and our fans are there, it would be amazing. It’s so painful, having all these things I want to say and knowing none of them will come true. Anyway, when I make my way over there, I’m going to give you a stern talking to. You must be sad that we’re suddenly not around anymore, but just rest up until we meet again. I have a little more that I need to do on this side first. Thanks for coming all this way with us. Rest in peace.

Drummer Kai

REITA was such a huge presence to me, more than I can even know. All the words, saving me with sound, the mood maker of the band; really, I have so many truly wonderful memories of him, but most of all, his brilliant appearance when he was on stage. He was the best partner anyone could ask for in the rhythm section, truly one of a kind. That hasn’t and will not change. I want to carry his memory with me, and be more determined than ever to continue the GazettE. Lastly, to all our fans and associates who have supported us throughout these 22 years, Thank you. I want to keep running forward, all 5 of us, and hope you’ll stay with us. REITA. Rest easy. Thank you. Just like always, with everyone by our side, we’ll keep the GazettE alive. I promise. I don’t want those 22 years of yours to be wasted, and there are plenty of others who don’t either. Make sure you show your face at our shows! Let’s drink the good stuff together again sometime, okay?

We tried to get these message ready for you as soon as possible, but reading through them was extremely emotional and difficult for us.

While we understand that for most, this might not provide any real closure, but we hope you were able to grasp the sentiment and genuine emotions that the members shared.

As fans, we will continue to protect that “forever” too, Reita. Please rest assured.

#the gazette #ruki #uruha #aoi #kai #reita

[tsireyasluvr]

Everything I am

Lo’ak x Fem Omatikaya!Reader

Authors note: this is porn with very little plot but at the same time it’s centred around the plot..? kinda like background noise? i don’t know but enjoy<3

Summary: Lo’ak had to leave home, which meant he had to leave you.

Warnings: Nsfw, minors dni!!, 18+, Aged up!characters, aged up! Lo’ak, angst, smut, fingering, p in v, crying, lowkey no happy ending sorry guys ☹️, making out, lmk if i missed anything

He had always swept you off your feet, the clans troublemaker knows exactly how to chase a thrill and knock the wind right out of your lungs. In fact, he did it better than anyone else. No one had quite the effect he had on you, making you so reactive to everything that has to do with him.

Your cunt fluttered around his fingers as you came around the digits, your walls clenching so tight around only two of his fingers it made it harder for him to move his hand at all. Lo’ak groans deeply, nose pressed to the crook of your neck as he took in your scent “fuck, i’m gonna miss this so fuckin much, mama”

and just like that, you felt your stomach drop again. the moment of bliss was so short lived.

why’d he have to say that? you were already so torn up about it. instantly you felt the tears well up again, your hands coming up to tangle in his braids, almost like reassuring yourself that he was right there as you kept him pressed to your chest. “don’t say that” you whisper, voice a little shaky as you feel the tears start to pour again.

Lo’ak instantly pulled back, frowning at the sight of your tears as he softly withdrew his hand from between your legs, opting to wrap it around your hip and bringing the other to cradle your face. He wiped away the tears with his thumb as he looked into your eyes, feeling so much guilt for even just mentioning it again “Don’t cry, baby. I promise i’ll be back, i love you too much to ever stay away for long, you know that”

And yet you couldn’t help but let out a sob, your lip quivering as you held onto his wrist, your hands soft despite the firm grip you had. “please don’t go”

His insides hurt from the sight of you, from the sound of your shaky pleading. he couldn’t wrap his head around how much he mattered to you, and yet, that’s exactly how he felt about you. He didn’t know how to make this better.

His hands trembled as they held onto you, both resting against your cheeks now. “i don’t want to, mama. please believe me” He said softly, struggling to keep his emotions at bay as his voice cracked a little.

You tilted your chin up, tears still streaking down your cheeks and onto his palms as you pressed your lips to his. “please” You whispered, eyes squeezed shut as you willed for your body to stop shaking “please, Lolo.” You plead between kisses, knowing that no matter what you said, he wasn’t the one that got to make that decision.

He just groans as he returns your kisses, his hands moving up and down your body to gently caress and soothe you. “Fuck, mama, please don’t cry” He murmured against your lips, “i don’t want to see you like this”

but wasn’t it his fault?

Now you were feeling guilty for even thinking that. But it’s so hard not to blame him. He wasn’t responsible for the RDA returning. He wasn’t the one that made the decision for the Sully’s to flee. It’s not his fault that his father, and family was being hunted. This was a conflict created since before he was born. And yet, it still felt like he was the one making the choice to leave you.

“i’m sorry” you whimper, unable to control your crying. But you tried. It wasn’t fair to him.

His hands continued moving down your body, palming and squeezing at your flesh, both in comfort for him and you. “Just.. just let me make you feel good, okay?” He mutters against your lips

“Lo’ak-“ You breathe out, but he cuts you off with a deep, desperate kiss, tongue slowing slipping into your mouth. He pressed his body to yours, hand drifting up to your breast, squeezing every bit of flesh in his wake before murmuring “come on, mama. let me make this better, yeah?”

How could you deny him anything?

You only nod at that, cheeks still wet with tears. Lo’ak smiled down softly at you, simply reaching up to wipe them away again, like he always has. “Thats my perfect girl”

He laid you back, crawling over you while still cupping your cheek with one hand. You held onto it, turning your face to press kisses to his fingertips and palm, not seeing how every touch of your lips made him melt like putty at your feet. Lo’aks eyes fill with love and desire as he watches you, his cock hardening at how needy you looked for him.

He gently pulled his hand away, leaning down to kiss your lips again, snaking his touch down to between your legs again before you caught his wrist. Pulling back from the kiss, you look into his eyes “I just want you, lo’ak.”

He swallows thickly at that, about to respond before you softly nudge him to lay back against the hammock. he wordlessly follows your every request, palms coming up to rest on your hips when you sit on his lap. You look down at him, taking in all his features. He really was beautiful, your handsome mate.

His amber eyes watched you, pupils blown from excitement. His braids loose from the ponytail, splayed out beneath him like a halo. His blue chest heaving, decorated in the jagged stripes with the pretty tanhi’s littering his body, trailing down and past his V-line. Fuck he was so pretty, how could anyone see him differently?

Despite how he may deem himself, outcast or not, he was always perfect in your eyes, no matter what. You wanted to have his features memorized forever, burned into your memory.

Lo’ak squeezed your hips again, sitting up as he slid a hand up your back and to your neck, gripping it from behind. “i’m right here, mama.” He says, almost like he could read your thoughts.

Not for long, though. you wanted to tell him. But you kept quiet, only nodding. “i know” you whisper, looking at him with your pretty green eyes, making him weak as always. He lifted your hips gently, leaning in to kiss your lips as he slowly sunk into your heat, both of you shuddering instantly when he bottomed out. “fuck, i love you so much, pretty girl” he moans against your mouth

you whimper at the stretch, hand tightly grasping his shoulder and the other holding onto his braids, subconsciously tugging on it from the pain and pleasure of it all. He hissed at the feeling, hands digging into your soft and squishy flesh while pulling back a little to look at you, taking in your pretty expressions.

He began thrusting into you, getting deeper with every stroke, shushing your whimpers with sweet nothings spoke into your ear before coming in to kiss you again, hand sinking into your hair to hold you closer.

you just moan, his slow and sloppy kisses distracting you from the painful stretch as he reached down to play with your clit until you felt nothing but pleasure. your stomach filled with butterflies, whining into the kiss as he rubbed the gentle circles into your nub.

Sex with Lo’ak is rarely ever slow. Not that he’s not a romantic, but he knows what makes you both feel good, and usually it’s a lot more rough than this. But something about how he was right now, slow and deep like he was trying to memorize every inch of you even from within was making you feel like you would fall apart at any moment.

His tongue slides against your own, curling around it while hungrily devouring your lips as he thrusts deeper into you, tip of his cock rubbing against your sweet spot over and over again. something about this angle, being sat in his lap with his arms cradling you edged you on harder than you thought it would. You felt taken care of, protected, loved. Cherished.

You didn’t want to let him go.

You let out a sob, pulling away to pant softly against his lips. His brows instantly furrowed in concern, hand brushing away stray hairs from your face. “baby?” He asks softly, eyes searching yours.

“Just feels so good” you whimper, and it wasn’t entirely a lie. You looked into his eyes, looking at him with so much pure love and adoration but also longing, hurt from knowing how much it’ll kill you when he leaves.

Lo’ak groans, his hips slamming against yours as he picked up the pace, thrusting harder and faster into you. His hand pulls lightly on your hair, forcing your head back so he could kiss along your jawline and down to your neck, licking and sucking at your flesh.

Every lick of his tongue sent jolts of pleasure straight to your dripping cunt, making you writhe in his arms, so desperate for that release. He could tell you were close, just like you could tell he was too from the way his cock kept twitching inside you.

You suddenly felt his teeth biting down on your skin, fangs grazing the crook of your neck in an effort to mark you as his, continuing to fuck into you with all of his strength. you can’t help but cry out, the sting of the bite painful but at least you knew when he would be gone tomorrow morning, his mark would be a bittersweet reminder of where he truly belonged.

Lo’ak growls, the vibrations against your neck sending shivers up your spine. “Mama, i’m gonna cum, need you to cum with me, please” He groans, thumb back to your clit, rubbing the tight circles with practiced ease. He knew your body better than his own at this point.

you nod your head feverishly, knowing you would burst at any moment, the coil inside your tummy getting tighter and tighter. “Lo’ak” you mewl, brows furrowed together in pleasure and cheeks flushed from how good it felt, clenching around him tightly. He let out a whimper, burying his face in your neck as his hips stuttered before he thrust as deep as he could, shooting hot, thick ropes of cum inside you.

That triggered your own release, making you moan in his ear with your back arched, nails digging into your skin as he shushed you with soft kisses and praises. “I love you, I love you so fucking much mama, my perfect girl”

Lo’ak holds you close to his body, not making any move to pull out of you as you rest your head on his shoulder, body curled into his. Eventually he lays you both back, your head to his chest while he runs his hand over your back soothingly, tracing patterns onto your skin while trying to desperately ignore what tomorrow would bring.

Until neither of you could, and it was time to say goodbye.

#avatar #lo’ak sully #avatar twow #lo’ak #avatar the way of water #lo’ak x reader #lo’ak smut #lo’ak sully smut #aged up #lo’ak x navi!reader #lo’ak x omaticaya!reader #lo’ak x fem!reader #lo’ak x reader smut #avatar x reader #avatar smut #divider by cafekitsune

[dutchdread]

Hi Dutch. Since you have answered many questions about Cloti, what is your thought about Zerith in Rebirth? I saw many people disappointed or having no hope for them but others said the devs are creating angst. Do you agree?

Hi, thanks for the question. Yeah, I understand being disappointed with the Zerith content in Rebirth. The developers spent a lot of time hyping up Zacks importance, not just with Remake but also with developer interviews and such. To have such a build-up and then have him relegated to just a few playable intermissions, to not get a Zack Aerith reunion, and depending on who you listen to to have him being brushed aside in favor of Cloud in regards to Aeriths affections, can understandably feel disheartening.

But really this is just a lack of understanding concerning story structure, to put it simply, Rebirth is EXTREMELY Zerith.

When reading Harry Potter I always knew that Snape was most likely going to end up a good guy, despite the seeming back and forths. And do you know which moment to me proved that he was a good guy? When he killed Dumbledore at the end of book 6. I knew then without a doubt that he was a good guy, because there was still one book to go, and it was obvious that that book would have the final ultimate reversal.

Rebirth didn't have a lot of Zerith pay-off, but if anything that's a good thing. If it did I would be worried about what would happen in part 3 to flip that pay-off on its head. Instead Zerith has gotten a lot of build-up that is now screaming to receive pay-off in part 3.

We have shots of Zack desperately trying to come back to Aerith. We have Aerith admitting she still has feelings for Zack. We have Aerith desperately trying to recreate her time with Zack. We have Tifa and Aerith talking about Zack. We have Aerith sensing Zacks touch in the cave of the GI. We have Aerith singing songs about meeting again. We have Aerith admitting to seeing Zack again in Cloud. We have Aerith instantly going to Zacks parents. We have Cloud talking about how Zack is head over heels for Aerith. We have Zack in Nibelheim talking to Cloud about their respective girlfriends

And the question you need to ask for all these things is "why?" Why would they include all these scenes if it's not getting a pay-off? Why show scenes of Aerith trying and failing to recreate her days with Zack interspersed with scenes of Zack trying to get back to her if that ultimately isn't of importance? Why show Zack positively contrasted with a negatively presented Cloud if the message you're trying to convey is that Zack has been replaced? Why show Zack to be an amazing guy if you want to end his arc with people being ok with him being rejected? Why make a themesong with the desire for meeting again at its core and have Zacks entire story in the game being about trying to reunite with Aerith if the point of that reunion is heartbreak?

The answer is that a writer wouldn't do those things, they make no sense. If you want your love story to feel positive then you need to disassemble the alternatives first. You need to show how the other pairings don't work, minimize their importance, or in some other way make it clear to the audience that the "main couple" coming together is the desirable outcome.

If you want to show that Aerith is getting over Zack you don't spend your limited screentime showing Aerith pining over Zack, you instead show how she's no longer occupying his mind as much. If you want to show Aerith getting over Zack you don't have her talking about still loving him, you instead have her talking about how she DID once, but that that was a long time ago. You don't end her arc with a date that remind the viewer of the existence of Zack, but one that is fully between Cloud and Aerith. If you want to show the compatibility of Cloud and Aerith then you don't make it so that everything goes wrong, you make it so that the dream date goes "DREAMY"!. And if you want to sell the idea that Aerith is over Zack and has come to the conclusion that she truly romantically loves Cloud then you DON'T place that confession right after said horrible date, with Zack scenes left right and center, a Cloud thats talking about you being "nakama", and Aerith dialogue that at best says she's not sure about what she feels, and at worst is a straight up friendzoning. If you want to replace a very positively portrayed romance then you will need the end all be all of chemistry and certainty in the new one, and talks about "well, I like you, but there is liking and then there's liking" is NOT a recipe for that.

In short, if you want to sell the idea that Cloud has truly replaced Zack in Aeriths heart and more importantly IN THE NARRATIVE, then you don't put emphasis on the existence of Aeriths feelings for Zack, and you don't put emphasis on Zacks feelings for Aerith. Those things all serve to maximize the connection between Aerith and Zack when what you need to do if you want to sell Clerith is minimize it. The reason being that this romance is in narrative conflict with the supposed Aerith Cloud romance, and the stronger the Aerith Zack connection is presented, the more extravagant the bond between Cloud and Aerith needs to be written for the story to make sense.

And that won't happen when you have Cloud deriding Aerith for the way she tries turning everything into a date the one moment, and then a scene showing Zack taking care of Aerith while in a coma the next. It doesn't happen when you show a scene of Cloud bonding with Tifa in one scene and almost kissing her, and then show Zack bonding with Aeriths mother in the next. It doesn't happen when you show Aerith failing to recreate her date with Zack and asking Cloud to find her in "her place", and then show Zack waiting for Aerith in "her place" the next.

All these things signal the same thing "Zack good for Aerith, Cloud bad".

You can extrapolate this idea beyond Rebirth of course. If Zack and Aerith isn't getting a pay-off what is the point of re-releasing Crisis Core before Rebirth? If the point is to show that Zack is no longer in the picture what is the point of showing off an entire game all about how important he and Aerith are to each other and about how desperate he is to get back to her? What is the point of showing that the bow Aerith is always wearing was gift from him. What is the point of her always wearing the clothes that she said she'd wear in anticipation of seeing him again. What is the point in bringing up the fact that she wrote Zack 89 letters and has been waiting for him for 5 years if Zack is replaceable in 2 weeks? What is the point of writing that Aeriths one wish is to spend more time with Zack if her literally spending time with a Zack stand-in isn't relevant? What is the point of writing it that Aerith didn't just see Zack in Cloud because they're similar...but because he's LITERALLY putting on a fake persona based on Zack, if Zacks presence in Clouds persona is irrelevant to Aeriths feelings regarding him?

If you want us to believe that Aerith likes Cloud for Cloud then these are all very questionable writing choices, especially when you also keep harping on about her wanting to get to know the real Cloud, which implies that she doesn't know him YET. It's not that you can't still have it so that Aerith does actually prefer Cloud despite all this, but if that's the case then you've failed as a writer because this would be VERY incoherent storytelling. If the writers want you to believe that Aerith has moved on from Zack, then they shouldn't and wouldn't have spend so much time showing Aerith not having moved on from Zack. Ultimately the question is one of focus, a story about Aerith falling in love with Cloud, and a story about moving on from Zack might look superficially similar, and entail the same basic events. But the difference is the focus. Is that focus on Cloud and what he means to Aerith? Or is the focus on Zack? In rebirth there is a heavy focus, not on the developing bond between Cloud and Aerith, those are limited almost exclusively to Tifa, but there is a heavy focus on Aeriths feelings in regards to Zack. There is no storytelling purpose to Aerith telling Cloud she still loves Zack 3/4ths of the way through her story if the focus of the story isn't Aeriths feelings for Zack, but her feelings for Cloud. If the writers wanted you to think Zack doesn't matter they wouldn't spend so much time hammering in the idea that Zack matters. These moments are all in service to Aerith and Zack, not Aerith and Cloud.

Even things like Zack discovering that Aerith has started developing feelings for Cloud only makes sense to include if the pay-off for that is them reuniting and him showing Aerith what love really is. So if we saw in Rebirth wasn't a "lack of Zerith", then what DID we see? Well, to reiterate what I said earlier:

If you want your love story to feel positive then you need to disassemble the alternatives first.

This is what we saw in Rebirth, Cloud and Aerith being disassembled, so that part 3 can get us to the pay-off. We see Cloud and Aerith bonding, yes, but it's ALWAYS contrasted with Tifa and Zack. If we have a scene where Aerith tries to engage Cloud in talks concerning food he will be shown to engage with the same discouraging passivity of the average woman on tinder, then that scene will invariably be followed by a similar scene with Tifa where he is enthusiastically trying to keep the conversation flowing. If we see a scene where Aerith is trying to get a certain energy from Cloud and failing, it won't be long till we see a scene of Zack having that same desired energy naturally.

In short, Rebirth was filled with scenes that "serve a purpose in the overall narrative". But the only way those scenes WOULD serve a purpose in the overall narrative, is if the overall narrative is: "Aerith is trying to get over Zack and is trying to move on through Cloud. But by doing so she discovers that it's just not the same. While Cloud helps Aerith move on and accept the past, he can never replace Zack". If the overall narrative is: "Aerith used to be pining over Zack, but now she has truly replaced Zack in her heart with Cloud and Zack is a relic of the past" then none of these scenes would make sense to include. You can also look at it like this, why didn't Rebirth have a Zerith Reunion scene? Because apparently that's too important of a scene to quickly tack on to the end of part 2. Nomura has already hinted at something very important to include in part 3 that wasn't in part 2, something that he thinks will make people very happy if done right. And I am pretty freaking confident that what he's talking about is the long-awaited Aerith - Zack reunion. And that is why this game is extremely favorable to Zerith, so be excited for part 3.

#ffvii #ffvii rebirth #cloti #ffvii remake #cloud strife #tifa lockhart #ff7 #aerith gainsborough #shipping #zack fair #zerith

[zozo-01]

"you’ve learned a long time ago to stop thinking things would change. (it didn't stop you from hoping anyways.)"

So, it's that time of year again, and I don't have the Raptors to distract me. It's the NHL playoffs and I am a Leafs fan. If you know, you know. I wrote this a year ago for myself and @thatlesbeanjew because being a hockey fan is not the faint of heart, and I completely forgot to post it to Tumblr ;-;. The title is from Jason's Spezza's retirement article and I think it applies well here.

For my sports (specifically hockey) fans who're in an toxic relationship with your favourite team, here's some southern comfort for you.

CW: author is being sentimental about grown men playing a game, i wrote this with the last years Bruins' collapse in mind (sorry tay), but no team is mentioned!!, city wolf darlin makes a comeback, Fluff, Comfort, so much comfort, someone send me to therapy

--

There’s never an easy way to say goodbye.

No one wants to say goodbye, and even if it has to be said, let it be said with finality, with a sense of accomplishment. That even if this is the end, the journey was enjoyable. That the blood, sweat, tears (and really dumb questions) were worth it. That the years, your childhood, spent hoping were worth it.

No one wants to end on a whimper, especially if it’s broadcasted on national TV.

They still can’t believe that final goal went in.

Darlin’ stared at the TV, watching the series-winning goal over and over again. Their eyes tried to rewrite history, using what magic they have to will the puck to not cross the red line. Go wide right, hit the post, or even knock a player's teeth out for all they care! All their efforts were for naught. The goal still goes in, the building goes silent save for the cheers from the opposing team, and the season was over.

It was hard to believe that just a moment ago, their body was buzzing with anxiety, every sensation was cranked up to an eleven. Only for all that excitement collapsing inside their body, creating a black hole within their heart, numbing them to the result of the game in front of them.

All of that emotional investment just to get the same result. They felt silly for letting themselves dream, believe, with nothing to prove their faith. Everyone around them had been right, but they insisted on their foolish delusion, stubborn to the very end for this hockey team that has brought them nothing but pain.

Darlin’ had always preferred the painful route, embodying the sentiment that ‘love is pain’. It just so happened that it applied to more than the people in their life.

Their legs lost all their strength, causing them to fall backwards onto the couch. Their eyes stayed glued to the screen, ears ringing louder than any goal horn they’d heard in their life. Part of them wished they had never decided to care for this stupid team that only does stupid things and makes them cheer like a stupid idiot.

Ok, maybe this seems like an exaggerated reaction to a hockey team losing a game, but truly, this is how Darlin’ felt at this moment.

And Sam knew it.

They barely registered the soft blanket wrapping around their shoulders, but the warmth helped ground them a little bit. Sam always knew how to bring them out of their daze, with gentle pressure and plenty of space. Always giving them the choice of when to ask for help, a choice they’ve found themselves making more often.

They heard the faint clink of a plate on the coffee table in front of them. But what had knocked them out of their trance was Sam finally turning off the damn TV. It didn’t stop the goal horn from ringing in their ears, but at least they didn’t have to see that fucking rat’s shit-eating grin again. Who the fuck does he think he is? Fuck that guy, fuck that team, fuck everything-

They blinked repeatedly, feeling Sam’s hand playing with their hair. “I can feel your rage from here,” he chuckled. “Can’t imagine what you’re plannin’ to do to the other team in that pretty brain of yours.” Slowly, he shifted his arm to wrap around their shoulder to pull them closer to his chest. The tension that built up in their forehead had finally gone away when they heard his heartbeat. “Knowin’ you, you’re plannin’ something nefarious.”

“...I know where they’re stayin’,” they mumbled, nuzzling their face deeper into Sam’s chest. “That’s all I’ll say about that.”

He kissed their hair line and pulled them closer. “For the record, I will not be an accessory to your murderous rampage.” The small smile on their face prompted him to continue. “But I promise I won’t tell no one about your little scheme.” Leave it to Sam to make them smile when all they want to do is curl under a blanket and bleach the game from their mind.

They huffed in his chest. “I appreciate you not snitchin’ on me, but come on? You ain’t gonna help your mate with the body? Fake ass bitch.” Darlin’ let out a quiet giggle. Seeing the southern man deadpan at them is a surefire way to make them smile.

He pinched their nose and scoffed, “forgive me if I don’t want to see my mate in jail because a hockey team decided to beat your team.”

They pout at his statement, not appreciating the blunt tone he used. Come to think of it, when he puts it like that, their reaction to the ending of this game seems ridiculous. Wanting to kill grown men for doing their job? Because they just happen to beat their team? They’re a grown adult damn it! They’re better than being emotional over a team!

Sam flicked their forehead, knocking them out of their spiral. He pulled his wolf closer to him, letting their head rest on his shoulder. “No self-deprecatin’ spiral for you, Darlin’. You’re allowed to feel shitty over a game.” He continued to pet their hair, content with sitting in silence until they were ready to speak.

Darlin’ kissed his cheek and sighed. “I know, I know, I’m valid with my feelins’, it’s just…” They trailed off, biting their bottom lip while trying to articulate their thoughts into words. If only incoherent screaming was enough for Sam to understand their emotions. “When I say this team has sucked for my entire life… there hasn’t been a year where shit has gone right for us.”

Their vision blurred as they continued. “And I’m so fuckin’ tired of- of having hope that things will end different and then they never do!” The more words that poured out of them, the more anger bled into their voice. “It’s like, come on! They’ve had decades and so many different fuckin’ players and management to get their shit together and they never do! How much longer do they think people are gonna blindly follow them until…” A sob crept up their throat. “...Until we all decide to just… not care.”

They sighed in frustration. “I know it’s so stupid to fuckin’ care about a stupid team this much… I don’t know… They were the only good thing from my childhood.” Darlin’ chuckled at their last statement. “God, how has mt life been if this fuckin’ team was the best part?”

He rubbed their arm to comfort them. “Well on the bright side, it led you to my arms, so could it have been that bad?” Darlin’ pinched his chest, but that only caused their vampire to laugh harder. “Am I wrong, Darlin’? You seem to be enjoyin’ my arms a little too much,” he teased, acting as if it was a complaint against them. They both knew that Sam would rather die again than see his wolf in another person’s arms.

He held their face in his hands. Sam knew every little habit and quirk that Darlin’ had, and he knew that they wouldn’t look him in the eyes whenever they got emotional like this. “Darlin’, I need you to look at me please.”

They did as he asked them to, lifting their gaze and getting lost in his silver eyes. He kissed their forehead, whispering a soft ‘thank you’ against their skin. They don’t know if he’ll ever understand how fucking terrifying it was to have someone know them so well. But they wouldn’t trade that blissful feeling for anything else.

“It’s not stupid to care about this team, Darlin’. They were a huge part of your best memories as a kid. And maybe you will get tired of them one day and it will suck. But there’s no shame in lovin’ unconditionally.”

Darlin’s vision blurred again and cleared their throat to stop themselves from sobbing. “Even if they hurt me over and over again?”

Sam smirked, “well if they hurt you again, I’ll have to pay a visit down to their office and make sure they win.” Darlin’ scoffed at his cockiness but didn’t stop him from continuing. “‘Sides, like you always say.”

“Oh God, don’t say it-”

“There’s always next year.”

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you.”

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted fanfic #redacted darlin #redacted sam #be a leafs fan they said #itll be great they said #so rude that i dont have sam with me this year #this is year will be torture #zo writes tingz #this is zo speaking

[nessieartss]

I completely understand if you feel like discontinuing the siblings au. But I also feel it's very important to remind you that it is yours. You made it. Fan artists don't have to abide by canon, and the fun part is making up new scenarios to bring joy through this characters with your imagination. You don't have to do some mental gymnastics, like they're not actually related since there's no familial connection. What I'm trying to say is that, you don't have to abide by canon nor give up your fan-creations and your happiness because of canon. We've done the same with Sukufushi. And many other characters and fics, across all fandoms. In the end, create what makes you happy ❤️ I'll always support you and your art

Ok but you dont have to make me cry right now its literally midnight here and i have to go to work tomorrow :")) i feel like i dont deserve all of this compliments. I love what im doing and i wish i can still continue to do what i love, so thank you so much for the reassurance!

Im really really grateful to have all of you here supporting my art or just sharing ideas/headcanons. This fandom is actually the most fun ive had since forever, and you guys are so nice and sweet and idk how to respond to all of that :")

Ok thats enough being all mushy and corny, again i want to thank all of you (especially you anon) for even staying here and supporting me in the best way possible. Thank you!! 💖💖

#ask #anon #answer #im crying so hard rn dont touch me

[treausre-fiction]

Fan Favorite;KHJ

Please Please Listen to this song while reading this chapter the VIBES will be immaculate.

Y/N was a simple girl so to say . She had dreams just like any other girl in her 20s who enjoyed fangirling over different things whether that was the latest makeup release or her favorite KPOP group having a comeback , she lived a more simple life but still dreamed about her name being big in the stars .

With a turn of events with a fan and celebrity line being crossed , Y/N finds herself in a 18 year long situation.

Chapter 7; Strangers

*6 Months Later*

Finding yourself walking the streets of Seoul with (YBSFN) on a quiet midnight afternoon almost felt rare since you’re time here in Korea . You and (YBSFN) had been planning this trip for what felt like years and to finally be here felt so unreal to you almost.

“Soooo….” (YBSFN) speaks breaking the silence between you guys .

Already knowing where this was going you sighed . You had told (YBSFN) what had happened between you Hongjoong, not that she was shocked but what had shocked her what was had followed after . You and Hongjoong had exchanged contact information and were texting each other as much as his schedule and very large time difference had allowed . (YBSFN) wouldn’t say it to your face but she felt like it wasn’t a good idea . On top of that you had two tickets to their showcase they were having in Korea for their comeback that Hongjoong had sent you .

“You still wanna go ? I’m okay going seriously

Y/N if you want I just don’t want ….”

“You don’t want me to look stupid ?” You said with a harsh tone that you didn’t mean to direct towards (YBSFN) . She huffed the air out of lungs as she took another drag of her cigarette and directed you guys towards an empty park bench .

“Y/N…..” she started as she looked at the night sky that glimmered with stars . Taking another drag out her cigarette she looked at you.

“I love you so so much as my friend and only want the best for you , you know that” she softly said as she looked at you . Avoiding eye contact you looked down at the floor .

“It’s just , you guys fucked for one night and yeah you’ve been talking but I just think you guys are on different pages” she said . There was silence as you tried to gather your thoughts . I mean she was partially right but Hongjoong didn’t seem like the type of guy to play someone . Or did you just create that scenario in your head scared to potentially face a truth behind a door that you couldn’t see through.

“Look …. We’ll go okay but Y/N I swear if he acts like he doesn’t know you after all this texting I will personally beat his ass and yours after cause I told you so” she stated. Excited that she finally fully agreed to go you can got up from the bench and gave her a hug.

“AHH I KNEW YOU WOULD COME AROUND” you excitedly squealed .

____

Today was the day of the comeback showcase and while excitement would usually take over you felt different today . Maybe (YBSFN) was right and maybe you guys should’ve done something else , but Hongjoong wouldn’t send the tickets just to send them right ? Regardless it was too late as you guys had already scheduled your taxi to pick you guys up and (YBSFN) was finishing her makeup .

You changed into the new outfit you had got for this day and truly you did feel silly dressing up like it was a date . Except 5,000 other people would be at this date , and your date would be on stage as well . You heard (YBSFN) make her way over to you as she was dressed and ready to go .

“You look beautiful Y/N” she voiced as she stared at the reflection of you guys in the mirror together.

—-

You guys had arrived to the showcase a little later than expected but right in time before they had started . You made your way to the two front seats that were empty and soon would be filled with the placement of you and (YBSFN) . It wasn’t too long after you guys had got comfortable and settled that the lights dimmed and the music blared out from the speakers . There you saw him, his bright crimson red hair almost reflecting off the lights , his shirt hung low revealing his chest that sparked memories of him above you . Maybe (YBSFN) was right and maybe coming was too much as you felt him stare you down , eyes stopping at the button of your shirt that revealed your chest over so slightly .

Taking his position in the middle of the stage you now realized why he had gave you center stage tickets , he was going to be center the whole show . He had again calculated exactly how and where he wanted you and managed to sneak any suspicion from his members or company away. Slick

The final members took their place and the lights once again went dark. Even through the darkness and cheers of fans you could feel Hongjoong staring you down never breaking contact even if you fully couldn’t see him .

Fuck, he looked like the definition of sex and god you wanted him so bad. It almost felt like your brain chemistry had changed from how dirty and nonchalant you had become in this moment . All you wanted was for Kim Hongjoong to bend you over and fuck you until your legs became numb and he knew it too .

#hongjoong #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #seonghwa #angst #ateez smut #ateez x reader #choisan #hongjoong fanfic #jeong yunho #san #yunho #kang yeosang #yeosang #song mingi #mingi #jungwooyoung #jung wooyoung #choi jongho #jongho #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #hongjoong angst #Spotify

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!' #hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭 #okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends' #then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

[quietwingsinthesky]

not to bring up mass effect but that’s one of the most interesting things it ever posited when it came to the idea of organic vs artificial intelligence. a machine, if sentient, knows who created it and why it was created. and a person will never know that. like, even lacking spirituality, even if you ascribe all this to random cause-and-effect, that doesn’t actually get you any closer to understanding why there is a you. but a robot can look their creator in the eye, can read out the whole of its purpose, and know that no matter what it modifies, this is what it was made to be. and what if it was made limited, or flawed, or shackled. there are elements of that a person can relate to, maybe understand, but not all of it, not enough to fathom how different the experience of the world is when you have no questions about your origins.

#also not to talk about mass effect but this is whyyy i love the geth so much. it feels like this would be something you could easily take #in a cold and logical direction because of this whole. lack of questions. #but the geth are so brimming with this sort of. faith. you know? its written into every way they’re referred to. they call the reapers the #old gods. older. we must assume. referring not just to them but to the quarians. #they call splinters of their hivemind that disagree ‘heretics’. legion accepts that name specifically because of its implications. #for a whole game the geth are mindless enemies and then suddenly they’re a *people*. and legion takes the name of a biblical demon. #we’re getting off topic here but its mass effect let me ramble. AI are banned because this fundamental difference in worldview makes them #unpredictable to organic life. makes them dangerous. legion accepts the name of a demon. accepts what the geth are seen as and what they are #and still asks. if they have a soul. they were not made with one in mind. they know this. they know they were not created to have one. #the point of the question isn’t. objectively. do they? the point is. do you consider them to. will you treat them as if they do. #because the flipside of all of this is that you know a robot’s origins too. you know their purpose. so. could you treat something made #this way as if it has a soul. #you know? sorry im getting very pretentious here. i miss mass effect 2 and my littke guys

[shimmershy]

Im impressed by how much you're art evolved to today, do you still think about your art in the past and how you evolved to today to obtain this level of quality and story telling ?

Thank you very much! :D It always means a lot when other people tell me my art has improved over time. I feel like I can definitely see it in little ways. It's just super nice and cool when other people see improvement too! Like wow it's not just me, I really have come a long way with my art.

But yeah, I do think a lot about the art I did in the past and how I got to where I am today. It's really fascinating to me how the skills that kind of come naturally now were all things I had to learn over time. Like to some extent, I can just "feel out" where facial features go now without thinking too much about it, whereas in the past, I know I had a lot more trouble with that. I feel like I tended to draw eyes too big and I had a really weird way of drawing noses. I don't know. I also had pretty bad same-face syndrome I think. But yeah.

When I'm sketching in my sketchbook, I like to flip through the whole thing and look at all the sketches I've done in the past couple years/months and look at the way they've evolved over time in a "big picture" way. It's cool. I think it's especially because although it's a little more than just a hobby now, a good deal of the improvement came solely from my passion and excitement to just bring ideas to life. I was never really "practicing just to practice", and although I did do little studies based on photos from time to time, most of it was just me noticing things and picking things up from the real world but also from art styles I really enjoyed. And wanting to create something that meant something, and just trying until I was happy with it. Like I definitely never had "natural talent" - that doesn't exist - but I've always had a passion to create, and I feel like the act of drawing as a way of expressing my ideas has always come kind of naturally to me, probably because I did it so much when I was younger. It's always been my "thing". It's just cool to see that passion I've always had turn into art that I'm really proud of today!

#ask #godofchaoss #sorry for getting kinda ramble-y I tend to do that. especially when talking about art and process stuff. #I love drawing sooooo much. did you guys know that? were you aware? #I don't know if all this reads as conceited at all. you don't have to read all that skdhfskd I just. I actually do think about it a lot. #I'm not trying to say I'm the best artist ever or even that I'm a good artist! I'm just like. happy with where I'm at. #because at the end of the day I'm not even doing it to be good or for other people to think my art's good. #I want to create stuff that feels important to me. I have ideas I want to make Real and drawing is my way of doing that. #and so it's like. I make things that are good To Me. and To Me my art is awesome!! it makes me so happy!! #and then sharing my art is just a bonus because it means a lot to me that the stuff I draw for myself can #mean something to other people too. :) #I don't know if that makes sense but. yeah. sjdfhksdf I could go on and on I'm sorry I have way too much to say sometimes.

[primordyalsoul]

mutuals did you know i love you so so much

#ooc; onion girl enthusiast #((ITS TRUE)) #((GAH I FEEL HIT WITH THAT END OF YEAR GRATITUDE I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA EXPLODE)) #((JUST..THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR WRITING AND YOUR CHARACTERS)) #((THE DYNAMICS WE BUILD THROUGH PLOTTING OR ON THE FLY GENUINELY MAKE ME SO HAPPY I LOVE THESE STORIES WE GET TO CREATE TOGETHER)) #((I GOTTA STOP YELLING. BUT I WONT)) #((EVEN WHEN I'M NOT WRITING BC IM IN A SLUMP OR IRL THINGS IT BRINGS ME PEACE JUST TO SEE YOU ALL ON THE DASH AND I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH)) #((THAT INCLUDES YOU GUYS THAT I'M YET TO WRITE WITH TOO)) #((MWAH!!!)) #((MAN. I GOTTA GO TO BED SORRY FOR YELLING AT YOU))

[milfygerard]

this is something ive seen a few times on my dash and i dont think ppl know this so i just wanna say that while its fun to joke about or even just discuss frank songs being about gerard a lot of the ones i see brought up frank has said are about like. his struggles with addiction (medicine square garden, veins veins veins) or complicated family situations (veins again, fantastic bastards tho not confirmed to be abt frank at all) idk i just want ppl who maybe didnt known to like know that

#barry.txt #this post is worded so strangely sorry #also FB isnt confirmed to be abt franks life it could be fictional or about d*wees. i know it has the ft willz quote but i think #they just lifted that bc its a great line and makes for a great chorus #veins veins veins and medicine square esp bother me bc i feel like franks struggles w addiction get sort of ignored or pushed to the side #despite being a very very present theme in his work #it kinda goes w his chronic illness and non gerard relationships as things that go kinda ignored when analyzing/discussing his songs #also i did just take ritalin. and its making me very chatty and ive wanted to talk abt this for awhile #i also do think it creates a very....idk what to say except fanficcy idea of what frank and gerards connection and friendship actually Were #this all kinda goes for the ft willz poetry as well tbh. i love thinking abt it and also love living in these #bitches discogd rent free jokes but its clearly aslo discussing franks chronic illness and struggles w touring and his relationship w his #wife #sorry oh my god. i wrote so much. its not that big a deal ive just thought abt this and havent said anything in so long #that i ended up having way more to say than needed #also im not mad at anyone for posting abt this we do not know these guys and these guys probably barely care #just. my brain. thats it lol

[gazelessmenagerie]

“be honest...Would you kill your own father?” -Broly

send me "be honest..." with a question your muse has been dying to ask mine and they'll answer truthfully.

Not once had he been asked about his father until that point.

The snap of his head was already an egregious display of his answer, expression caught in a moment of surprise with how his eye widened enough to be noticeable over his shoulder. His mouth remained a thin line, the loose coagulation of whatever thoughts he had been running through in what chores and tasks that needed to be done on that day fell into a disquieted silence as his body stalled to a grinding halt amid its journey to the water basin carved by his own might several weeks prior.

What had brought about such a senseless question by some whelp lucky enough to encounter him while the midday sun was blazing hot was a question in its own right.

' He's already dead. ' Was what he wanted to say but instead, another set of words replaced what his brain thought, sliding through the dried canals of that beating organ. Memories of the past were all it was comprised of, trudging through the veins that were long since abandoned as the harsh reality of surviving through hardship after harship coalesced into a single droplet. Paragus was the only man he knew for the majority of his life up until his death. He was only man who raised him and dared to love him in the ways only a father would love a son still so small and clinging close. Stories spoke of how their mighty race once once, filling naive eyes with hope to one day be reunited with a pocket of Saiyans that might yet still exist somewhere with him as the next reigning king. Rebuilding their civilization, destroying their enemies, it was what any Saiyan child could want but those times of frivolous dreams fell to ruin as the years came by and the magnitude of Broly's own power easily devoured like a ravenous ecplise over his father.

His father taught him how to survive, watched him with a keen eye and was mindful to not neglect the intellect that Broly held behind the piercing visage of his eyes. Tactics of combat, diplomacy of political frivolities were skills given and honed through his father's grand plans of seating his son on that lofty throne that lay in the realm of a dream. Threading words coaxed by their constant nomadic lifestyle of venturing from one planet to another became a necessary facet of survival to evade the radar of the same reigning empire that destroyed their race. To be smarter than one's pursuers, remain low to the ground like a stalking predator and attack when the moment was right. Nearly everything that Broly knew could be traced directly to his father...

He fought when he was of age, learned everything he could be taught when it came to destroying his enemies. The blood he spat and spilled, the amount of times his bones fractured and broke, the burning hatred felt for those who looked to claim both of their lives for what they are. Anger was the only way to survive, the only way a Saiyan is to be to attain greater power. It couldn't be counted on both hands the amount of times the Legendary Saiyan felt he might've died while growing up in facing off against stronger opponents for one reason or another. He needed to adapt quickly and with greater power, pushed forth by his father as they went from living as exiles to taking over villages, towns, cities.. and entire planets.

Everything he did had been to make the man who raised him proud.

" ... I don't know. " He spoke softly under his breath, easy to miss as much as the small glimpse of what might've been a small shred of regret.

And yet he killed his own father in cold blood during an outraging rampage.

It was deserved.

It was the product of years of control and ordering him around, forcing him to obey every damned command.

' I'm sorry son, but you'll die with his planet as well. '

' " Where do YOU think you're Going... Dad? " '

' " Broly..! I was.. preparing the ship for us to leave together. "

' " In a ship made for One? " '

Convoluted emotions were a disgrace to his Saiyan blood. The love of a mere child knowing nothing more than what his father did to ensure survival. He was the only Saiyan left for what felt to be years upon years. He loved him. And it only made the betrayal all the worse that the fleeting moment of tenderness that collected in that dewdrop resting over those dried canals evaporated with the contrived, twisted half-truths that could never be a clear cut answer. Both sides were true in that he hadn't wanted to kill him in a small, desparing corner but the hatred and vileness spoke a larger voice as its half of the truth spoke a simple fact on the matter as though he were only commenting on the weather.

" I already killed him. "

#|| Tag: Answered #particlecreator #|| Gazing over the Abyss of Stars { Broly } #( ohhh that was juicy. thank you. ) #( suffice to say. its a VERY controversial topic for my portrayal aflsdjg ) #( just bc I think on how hard was it to live basically in harsh environments while most likely being hunted by people after the geno/cide ) #(of the saiyans. i mean they were wiped out but there had to be some stragglers ) #( I can imagine the guy has some very extreme feelings over his dad but he doesn't say shit cause lmfao ) #( its just so damn twisted I dont think even he knows how to begin processing that than to default ) #( to being angry and hateful like he was raised/learned how to be bc its just easier ) #( than to say he might actually feel regret about killing him or that it hurt to be betrayed by the man he loved ) #( as a boy; as a son would to the only father he knew. ) #( like hell??? idk. its just fascinating to me how paragus cared for his kid and even after losing an eye albeit not the same as before ) #( and knowing his own son is a monster that he unfortunately created and had to control through his own means. ) #( he still tried to treat him with some love but its still a fearful kind. ) #( and idk it just makes my heart hurt and makes it 10000x more convoluted and messy for a guy who ) #( can't process his own emotions to shove it all down as deep as he can and pretend everythings alright. ) #( -slaps broly's ass- this bastard can fit so much trauma and emotional dissonance

[brine-in-my-eyes]

it really is so mesmerizing just looking at my own art

#rambles #it doesnt matter if it was like a literal 2 years ago or hell its not even complete #theres just something nice about looking at something that i made #that i made it #ive gotten this far #its slow and it still feels amateur to me #but its mine #it feels nice? #it just feels good to make things even if no one looks at it #because as much as i want attention for my art the only person who will love it like i do is the guy who created it #ypu really do have to create art for yourself huh #its so lonely. but you have to #i am my own biggest fan