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#makes me realize maybe horror doesn't actually bother me as much
witchwyfe · 2 years
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fool for you | sh
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| pairing: steve harrington x female reader
| précis: steve's in a bad mood until you show up, fluff, cursing
| word count: 856
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Steve slaps another VHS tape onto the floor, sighing dramatically.
"Jesus Steve, Keith said to reorganize the horror section, not take your anger out on it." Robin chuckles.
He flips her the bird, not even bothering to turn around and look.
Robin rolls her eyes before heading into the back office to unbox something Keith had asked her to.
During the week, Family Video wasn't as crowded, especially on a Tuesday morning. Boredom fills the air like a thick heat, the two employees desperate for a customer or at least something interesting to happen.
"Harrington!" Robin calls from the office. "Come here,"
Steve huffs, stepping away from the mess he created in the floor, and almost tripping over Poltergeist, on his way to Robin.
"What do you want?" He wonders, rough tone lining his words. He's not mean--never mean-- but comfortable enough around his best friend that he doesn't feel the need to hide his mood.
"What crawled up your ass this morning?" Robin asks, a smirk lining her lips.
"What do you need help with?" He grits his teeth, hands settled on his hips.
"Can't reach that box up there, you're taller, you do it."
He huffs, but moves forward, lifting up and grabbing the box. He bites back another complaint--something about how Robin never has a problem climbing on Keith's desk to get shit, on any other day.
"Anything else you need?" He forces, smile obviously fake and eliciting a laugh from Robin.
"Nothing else right now, besides an attitude adjustment maybe?"
"Ha. Ha. Very funny."
Steve sits back on the floor, and doesn't move for another hour--when the horror section is reorganized to what he hopes are Keith's standards. He swears he just did this last week but he knows better than to bitch about it to Keith.
Robin knows it's a bad mood when she decides to give Steve his break early, scared about him scaring customers away. He'd slammed the register shut a little too hard before she was pushing him away and threatening to lock him in the break room.
And he sits back there, fiddling with the radio until the static goes away, and he smiles when he realizes it's one of your favorite songs.
He's calm for a few moments, the thought of you driving out any annoyances.
The bell rings, alerting him that someone has entered the store. He doesn't give a shit, Robin can deal with whoever came in.
Until he hears something sweet and familiar.
Your voice.
The sound is like a light breaking through the dark cloud above his head, and he's up and out of his seat before he misses too much, the sound of your sweet laugh making his heart clench.
He's shoving through the door, crossing the threshold out into the store to see you, to make sure you're real and not a figment of his imagination.
"Hi," He's beaming, breathless in your presence.
You turn from where you're speaking to Robin, your smile growing unbelievably large when you spot your boyfriend.
You're trying to be polite and finish your conversation with his friend before running into his arms like you want to. He doesn't care, he saunters over and engulfs you in his grip, breathing in the comforting scent of your shampoo and perfume.
"Missed you," He murmurs into your hair.
"I was just saying," Robin starts, a wicked grin on her lips. "____, thank god you're here, Steve's been in a foul mood all morning and he--"
"That's enough," He cuts her off, blush rising on his cheeks. "She doesn't wanna hear about that."
"Actually she would love to," You pipe up, looking up at him fondly. "You miss me bub?"
"Oh he totally did!" Robin snorts. "He was being so pouty and--"
"Shut up Buckley," He groans, letting his forehead fall onto your shoulder.
He nuzzles into you for another minute before Robin makes gagging sounds, eliciting a soft giggle from your lips.
"Alright go finish your break, you're gonna scare the customers away."
"You'd love that," Steve argues, raising an eyebrow.
"I would but I don't think Keith would."
She argues. "As much as I don't care what that motherfucker wants, he writes the checks Steve-O, so that's the way it is."
You share a laugh with your boyfriend until Robin shoos you both away and Steve tugs you into the break room.
"M'serious," He whines, lips at your forehead. "I missed you."
"I know bub," You stretch up to peck the tip of his nose. "I missed you too."
"Didn't think you'd come here. You said you had that group project."
Steve won't admit it because he'd never try to hold you back, but he hates Tuesday's, because it's the one day your schedules don't line up. So while he's at work, you're taking classes nearby at the college.
"Simon canceled." You wrinkle your nose and Steve watches with stars in his eyes. "I swear we're never gonna get that fucking project finished."
"I'll help you with it." He murmurs, lips back on your head, soft against your hairline.
"Okay baby."
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© witchwyfe 2022. absolutely no reposting, translating, or modifying, even with credit.
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cherryflavoredvamp · 1 year
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"i love you so fuckin' much"
jealous perv!bestfriend!eddie my beloved <3
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pairing: eddie munson x female reader
warnings: smut, 18+, eddie is a jealous perv, slapping, dirty talk, friends to lovers, pet names, no use of y/n, the use of 'whore' and 'slut' to describe reader, lightly proofread but i put my whole pussy into this, cheating but this is fictional and sexy so don't get your panties in a twist ily
i think bestfriend!eddie would loose his mind with jealousy if you got a serious boyfriend. sure, he had hookups and dated a few girls. but the moment you announce you're in a serious relationship, eddie feels like you've dropped a fucking bomb on him.
eddie munson was nothing if not clever. his way of keeping you close to his side, no matter who you were dating, was extraordinary. you've dated your fair share of people, that was true, but when Eddie saw how serious you were about this new guy...something in him snapped. so when you come to his house one night to hang out to  watch horror flicks and smoke, eddie can't help but make you question your loyalty to 'what's-his-face...' that's what he referred to him as anyways.
"i mean, i think things could actually be serious between me and him...i can feel it, you know what I mean? has anyone ever made you feel like that," you question eddie,
eddie exhales a puff of smoke on your face and laughs off the question, "what? no fucking way, princess, I'm not really the serious type," eddie admitted. and he was sort of telling the truth, he wasn't willing to be serious with anyone else...if it wasn't you.
"oh, I just thought maybe we could leave hawkins together, me and him. someday, I don't know, maybe i'm being silly," you lean back on the couch cushion and sigh.
he'd scoff at you, "no fucking way, you're joking right," leaning back on his couch. his arm slung over the middle cushion where you sat, not physically able to look him in the eye at the moment. he felt betrayed, you wanted to leave hawkins? without him?
you didn't realize you forgot to answer his question until he yanks on your pony tail to get your attention, "ow, what the hell was that for," you pout at him. why is he being so mean to you right now? you've never seen him this bothered over anything, eddie's eyes were vacant as he trained them on you. you tried staring him down, your pout and teary eyes gave him a sick satisfaction. he wasn't proud of it, but seeing you this upset when he was mad at you made his dick twitch in his tight jeans. i'm going to hell, eddie thinks.
"don't cry on my account, sweetheart. oh and let me guess, your bastard boyfriend doesn't want you hanging out with me anymore," he raises an eyebrow at you. you look down to fiddle with your hands, he had hit the nail on the head with that one. he hated that he was right. "oh my god," eddie laughed in disbelief, smug and cruel, the smile on his face anything but friendly, "that's why you came over here, to tell me we can't hangout anymore? huh? is that it, princess?" he couldn't believe what he was hearing, you had a boyfriend so now he had to disappear from your life. it wasn't fair.
"do you think this is easy on me, i'm trying to find a way for you both to be in my life without hating each other." couldn't he see that you were trying? all he could see is that you needed a harsh reality check.
"fat fucking chance at that, i haven't even met him and i can't stand that prick," eddie's temper flared and heat enveloped his pale cheeks, exhaling smoke through his nose before snuffing his cigarette out like he was mad at it. truth be told he was imagining it was your boyfriend's head he was smothering to ashes.
"just forget i said anything, let's just enjoy this," you cup eddie's knee with your palm and give it a little reassuring squeeze, as if this wasn't the last time you planned to hangout with him because of some controlling boyfriend, some stranger that was going to take you away from him.
eddie sighed and said nothing as he disappeared into the next room, you didn't have any idea as to what he was doing in there until you hear the familiar rattle of his 'lunchbox.' you smiled to yourself, maybe this friendship didn't have to end badly after all.
~
thirty minutes later you two were giggling and talking like nothing life altering just happened. but the topic was of course bound to come up again, how could it not?
"now be honest, are you sure about this guy? he sounds like a total dick, honey," eddie sounded genuinely concerned, but more lighthearted than before which calmed you as much as the weed did.
you bursted out in laughter, unable to control the giddiness, "you said 'dick-honey,'" you laughed and you laughed until your stomach hurt and you fell back on the arm of the couch clutching your tummy.
"hey, what's so funny," eddie leans over you, hovering with his hands caging you into the couch. suddenly you were aware of how close his hands were to your waist, and aware of how delicious he smelled. and how his eyes scanned you face, taking you all in.
"you smell really good," you admit aloud, bubbly and high, Eddie loved when you were like this. all anxiety forgotten, the full body high taking over your system, it was just you and him. no talk of your stupid boyfriend, just two best friends with lethal amounts of chemistry between you. what could go wrong?
eddie hovered above you, wedging himself between your legs until his knee was nudging your clothed pussy. your skirt hiked up exposing your frilly underwear, a small gasp leaving you when eddie looked down to get a better look at your pretty underwear that he thought suited you perfectly.
"nice panties," eddie's voice was low, flirty even. he'd be lying if he said he never got horny when the two of you got high together, almost every time actually. if he only knew how long the feelings had been mutual for all these years.
you try to smooth your skirt to cover yourself but eddie haults your movement with a, "wait, i need a better look at these. haven't seen them before," he looks entranced, unable to tear his eyes away from your lower half. he's scared that if he looks up at your face he'll loose all of his courage and back off. he doesn't want to scare you off, but he also doesn't want to stop.
the words 'haven't seen these before' definitely threw you for a loop, "huh, what do you mean you haven't seen these before? have you been going through my laundry, eddie?"
"no, you wear these cute little skirts all the time. and you're always dropping shit, bending over, driving me crazy," eddie finally looks up at you, "you torture me." he rocks his knee into you and to his surprise you grind yourself back on him, he lets out an incredulous laugh, thinking about how he should've done this ages ago.
'driving me crazy'
'you torture me'
you were giggling in eddies face, looking up at him adoringly and overwhelmed with weed fueled lust he could see it in your eyes. and well, he couldn't help himself if he tried, in a swift motion eddie crashes his lips onto yours, a searing hot kiss that overtook both of your minds. you forgot you were dating someone, forgot about anything other than eddie munson, your best friend who you've always seen as cute, finally kissed you. in the very back of your mind, a little voice in your head was telling you how wrong this was.
"wait, we can't do this," you say pulling back from the kiss, even though you didn't want to, you knew that was the right thing to do. you had to stop before this went any further.
with his right hand holding your face tightly, "why not," eddie's dark eyes bore into yours, the tone of his voice was somewhat annoyed which struck you. eddie's mouth ghosted over yours, "i think we both need this, don't you? your boyfriend couldn't fuck you like I could, i think you know that deep down."
how long has he felt like this about you? he'd never say.
all you could do was let out a small whimper, an overwhelming need to have his hands all over your body enveloped you. you could cut the tension in that room with a knife.
"what was that," eddie mocked you, "i didn't catch that."
you groaned and covered your face with your hands, a poor attempt at hiding the blush on your cheeks. eddie quickly tore your hands away from your face, "use your words, i don't speak brat."
he wanted you to use your words and you did, you said the first words that came to mind, "i want you," it was a small plea. you felt silly, the living room was just full of laughter a few minutes ago and now it was a whole other atmosphere. tense, raw, completely uncharted territory between you and eddie. it was like something had been boiling on the stove for ages at a low simmer, but someone cranked it up to 10 and now it was all boiling over the sides in a hot rush.
eddie laughed, sadistic and proud, he's been waiting for this moment for a long time. "what would your boyfriend say if he saw you right now? i bet he'd call you a slut," eddie smirked down at you and then the tears started again, but this time you couldn't hold them in.
"oh stop crying, i still haven't gotten a chance to meet your new panties," eddie played with the material, snapping the side to your waist and laughing when you yelped. "you're so cute," eddie hooked his arms around your thighs and ran his thumb in small circles on your clit, adding pressure until he heard you moan his name.
"eddie please, i need you," you've never heard yourself this needy before, but you've also never been this turned on before.
"you got me, i'm here," eddie spoke without a mocking tone this time, reminding you he wanted you just as bad as you wanted him. once he's taken your underwear off (in record time by the way, he's never been this turned on either) your legs are on his shoulders and he's licking your arousal. his tongue quickly finding it's way to your slit, pumping in and out, his middle and pointer finger working your clit in fast circles you thought you could dissolve right then and there. and what a way to go this would be, it would be like heaven to dissolve with him.
replacing his tongue with his fingers eddie pumps his middle and pointer fingers in and out of you until you're squeezing him, curling his fingers and hitting that special place over and over again. the pleasure building in your stomach is sinful and it builds more when eddie starts to suck on your clit, looking up at you with a devilish look. if eyes could smirk, his were doing just that. the satisfaction of knowing you wanted him so bad that you begged, and you moaned his name so beautifully, it was all going to his head(s). eddie was just as turned on as you, he moaned with his mouth to you, the man was practically making out with your pussy and getting a rise out of it.
you gently tug at eddie's hair as if to say, 'please come up for air before you drown.'
eddie smirks and crawls up to you, brushes your hair out of your face, and says, "i'm keeping these panties by the way," and kisses your lips softly swinging the cotton material over you like a pendulum before stuffing it in his back pocket.
you roll your eyes, "fine but i'm keeping THIS," you say grabbing his bandanna and stuffing it in your bra.
"i'm not above a good pat down, babe," eddie makes a show of taking his jacket off and rolling up the sleeves of his sweater, cracking his knuckles and the whole bit before giving you a full body pat down starting with your tits. "hm, left tit seems to be full of contraband. subject appears to be a foxy thief, noted," eddie talks aloud to himself throughout the whole process, you cant stop laughing, at the end of it you laugh so hard you're crying again. but this time they're happy tears.
once the full body pat down is done eddie makes his way back up to your chest and pulls the handkerchief out with his teeth. "are you aware what this'll cost you," eddie says, only half joking, it will cost you.
"oh no, i'm so scared. i'm sorry i'll do anything, just let me go," you pretend to be under distress. eddie gets a kick out of your acting and it only revvs him up more.
"oh yeah? you'll do anything i want?" eddie's eyebrows raise and his mouth quirks up in a knowing look. you nod your head sheepishly, he moves to tie your wrists together above your head.
you gasp when eddie starts unbuttoning your shirt, it's like every time you feel his breath fan your skin your chills double. talk about senses on fire, you were in the volcano, your cheeks hot and blushed. eddie took his time with you, enjoying every second of this because he didn't know if it would happen again.
eddie takes everything off but your skirt and socks, you nudge his thigh with your foot, "your turn...take em' off show me what you're working with."
eddie laughs and shakes his head shrugging off his jacket and tossing it to the carpet, he's so fucking in love with you it's crazy. you wish you could take his shirt off for him, you're dying to touch him, "let me take off your shirt, please?" cue the big puppy eyes eddie used to never be able to resist, but now that's half the fun, teasing you, working you up and getting you hot. it didn't take long for him to figure out what you liked and what you didn't like.
the truth was you liked everything he did, fuck, you might be in love with him too.
"no, only good girls get to undress me," eddie teases, taking his shirt off and rolling his shoulders a few times before he's holding your face and rubbing his thumb over your cheek. "aw," he pouts, mocking you, "is someone upset?"
you answer him with a scowl and he laughs and slaps your cheek lightly, "you act like a bad girl...you get treated like one," eddie lands another smack to your face but this time it stings...and you love it. he kisses the same cheeks he smacked and soothes his thumb over it again, sweetly this time.
"now," eddie leans back on his knees and starts undoing his belt, his eyes not leaving yours for a second. you think you might die when he unzips himself, "i'm really pent up and you're a brat that drives me crazy, look how hard you made me." eddie palms himself through his jeans, you're seconds away from drooling if he doesn't start touching you again. "do you wanna feel it?" eddie moans when you nod your head yes, "ok, fine i'll untie you. if you'll behave..."
"mhm, i'll behave, i promise. i'll be good," your face lights up when eddie unties your wrists and directs your hand to his cock.
eddie groans, "fuck- you'll be good for me, won't you, babydoll?" eddie pulls down his pants and boxers all in one go, his cock on full display but he can't keep his eyes off you lips. he swears his cock twitches every time you lick your lips at the thought of tasting him.
"i'll be so good for you," you say, one hand pumping his cock and the other on his face, he's whimpering into your mouth as your tongues meet.
"fuck, you're really good at that," eddie rubs his cock up and down your pussy, "mm," eddie speaks between kisses, your hands are holding his waist, encouraging him to sink into you. and when he does, the both of you gasp into each other's mouths, "you're sucha little slut, baby. aren't you?"
"mhm, for you i am," your voice is soft and gentle in his ear. and while he thinks he could bust at any second, eddie knows better and keeps going, relishing this moment.
"you like being my little whore, don't you. dirty girl," eddie sucks on your neck, his tongue licking a stripe up your neck and leaving hickies there, he blows on it and you have chills all over again. you let out a little 'ah' sound at this and eddie thinks he could get used to this.
"i don't like it, i love it," your voice is breathy and sounds so pornographic you almost scare yourself.
"you love it, baby? you love me?" eddie's holding your cheeks again and kissing you sweetly and when your eyes meet you've never seen someone look at you like that before, like they were in love.
that's when it hits you, "i love you so fuckin' much, no one else, just you."
eddie thinks he died and gone to heaven when he replies, "i love you too, i love you so fuckin' much, baby," and comes inside of you when the last word leaves his mouth.
you spend the rest of the night holding each other and talking, then laying in silence, when eddie thinks you've gone to sleep he whispers "i love you," one more time because he loves saying it as much as he loves you.
eddie forgot you talk in your sleep when you reply, "i love you, eddie," his heart almost leaps out of his chest and he swears he's never been happier.
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penelopetheconartist · 3 months
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Ooh if you're looking for inspiration, how about headcanons for Mark, pablo, Rafael, and Luke on how they would react if their farmer was caught in a collapse in the caverns or maybe had a little bit too close of a call with a monster? No worries if this doesn't appeal to you!
Sorry lol I drink hurt/comfort up like it's water. I love the game, but the romances lack just a little bit of drama or true relationship building.
My homie. I too live for the hurt/ comfort. You speak my language!!! 🩷 (Also, thanks for sending me an ask!!) I wrote 2 things. I hope these are okay :D Aight. Some boyos reaction to getting hurt in the mines! All but Luke would be in the mines with farmer. Mark: he would absolutely have a brief moment where he makes fun of his "Garden Rake" for getting hurt but will soon realize they are really hurt and will go into full blown protector mode. His face will stay stone cold. "Ah shit. You're actually hurt, aren't you?" He kneels and checks the damage, "Hmm. Decent injury. You sure are tough." His face softens as he almost grins at the farmer. "Let's get you patched up.” His big rough hands are so gentle tending to the wound. The gentleness speaks to his experience with caring for others. Pablo: he's not good with blood even though he watches horror movies with his bro. TV blood is just better than real life. But he is good at being heroic. He'd definitely rip his shirt for bandages. Which he might regret later because he would've picked the shirt out specifically to show off how good he looks. Although blood would make him feel woozy, he can tough it out. Pablo would keep the mood light. Rafael: he'd be calm. He'd have a first aid kit. Injuries don't bother him because of the horror movies. He takes his first aid training seriously. All those times you've envied the blades he would gently caress and handle with care, now you know. He is completely in the take care of you zone, he's not even flustered for getting to touch you so much. Luke: there'd be a lot of internal panic. But running an electronic and appliance store (and having Walter as his father) prepared him for tough situations. Also, he probably reads medical journals for fun. The internal panic would work in his favour however and he’d tend to wounds and call the doctors to his mansion. He'd be reticent though with laser focus.
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shoechoewarriors · 7 months
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I just finished reading Johnny the Homicidal Maniac by Jhonen Vasquez. To be honest, I didn't really know what to expect going in- all I've ever heard about it was from people going "Can you believe Nickelodeon asked a guy who makes stuff like that to make a children's show!?" After reading it, I can say that it's definitely interesting in a way I don't think any basic plot description could've fully prepared me for, and I kind of want to dump my thoughts about it as I just come away from it.
As the title would suggest, its most noticeable surface-level feature is that there is a lot of gore. It gets about as brutal and graphic as it can with its cartoony art style- I was actually a little bothered by it a couple of times. There are a lot of things reminiscent of Invader ZIM beyond its art style- it shares a lot of the same humor, its randomness (often to the point of stupidity), and the chaotic nature of the story progression. (There are also two aliens that show up in a few pages that I'm pretty sure are the same aliens that appeared in the IZ episode Abducted, which would mean that ZIM and JTHM take place in the same universe...? Interesting.) In a lot of ways, it had the same energy as ZIM, but lacking the restraints of a children's network- admittedly, it was very fun and tickled the twelve-year-old ZIM fan part of my brain.
The story itself is a bit trippy and somewhat disjointed. There are lots of times where Johnny will go on long monologues about how he sees himself and the world (alongside blocks of text at the beginning and end of each issue from Jhonen himself). The actual story is cut up in-between little unrelated comics of various characters getting slaughtered and mutilated in some way, facing their inner turmoils and making other people miserable, or yelling incoherent word salads and then getting murdered. You are often left unsure as to whether some of the story's events were really happening or just Johnny dreaming or making things up. It also gets kind of cosmic horror-ish at one point, but that proceeds to end itself somewhat abruptly.
I haven't looked at any discussion of the comic and what it's *really* about yet, but my first impression coming out of it is that it's... a lot of things, really? It's a nihilistic black comedy, but I got the feeling that it was also somewhat of a vent story- A lot of JTHM is dark humor and absurd scenarios for the sake of societal criticism and expressing frustration with the world. It brings up a lot of ideas about what the "nature" of humanity is, if there is a caring God, the good and bad of living, and ultimately, what the true "evils" of society are and what causes them- all told through the eyes of a weird morally bankrupt loner that likes torturing and murdering people he doesn't like.
Most of the people that Johnny goes after are assholes and bullies, generally bad people, or anyone that just generally upsets or inconveniences him in day-to-day life. His arc throughout the story is discovering who and what "controls" him in his search for true freedom- and through that, he realizes that he, himself, is a massive contributor to why everything is so awful, eventually seeing people like himself as one of society's issues (but not really doing anything to change or control his behavior, which, to me, suggested he really never attained the "freedom" he desired so much). It was quite interesting to have a main character like that.
And, while I do not really know anything about Jhonen Vasquez as a person, a good amount of Johnny's traits struck me as... maybe a bit of a projection? A lot of the blocks of text from Vasquez at the start of issues will have him describe his thoughts and behaviors, and then in the story, Johnny displays a lot of those same thoughts and behaviors, like his hatred of sleep resulting in him regularly staying up the entire night and his tendency to experience loneliness and sadness (though, of course, these blocks of text might also be Jhonen simply putting up a persona as well.) Still, though, I wouldn't be too surprised if a lot of things about Johnny were in fact an exaggerated depiction of the author's own perceived negative traits and turned into an edgy serial killer character (especially since I know that this is indeed the case for a lot of Vasquez's characters, like ZIM in his inability to realize when his ideas won't work and Dib in his undying need to prove himself above all else in IZ.)
JTHM was one of the most unique things I've read in a while- it's one of those stories that sticks in your brain and leaves an uneasy feeling in you when you come away from it, but it definitely has a lot of substance to it beyond the "edgelord serial killer gorefest" surface-level appearance. It doesn't give you any moments of comfort in its overt negativity, but I think it manages to come out as something meaningful beyond just a nihilist "everything is awful and there's nothing you can do about it" message. It's definitely not for everyone, but if you're up for it, I'd really recommend giving it a shot.
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and-stir-the-stars · 9 months
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Not sure if you're reserving this for an upcoming story but in your main AU, since Elizabeth didn't die, was she present during the Bite of 83 and if she was, what was she doing and her reaction to the incident and the aftermath?
Despite me routinely forgetting that Elizabeth is actually alive in this au (whoops, lol), Liz would have been present during the Bite, yes.
I imagine she was very annoyed for the time leading up to Evan's birthday: annoyed with Evan for being so scared of Fredbear's and begging to have his party elsewhere, and she's annoyed with Michael, too, for actively making Evan that much harder to deal with.
Birthdays are supposed to times of happiness, which is something Elizabeth has been desperate for, though admittedly at this point she has been turning more and more to her "friends" for happiness rather than her family, since her home life is so awful.
Elizabeth just wanted to go to Fredbear's and have a happy, fun time on Evan's birthday. In her eyes, that's not possible because of how Ev and Mike are, so she invited her "friends" and ditched her brothers immediately so she wouldn't have to think about what was going on between them and could actually have some moments of fun and happiness.
Michael dragging around a kicking, screaming, and crying Evan wasn't anything unusual to Liz, though normally that intensity of Mike's cruelty was reserved for at home and was not pursued in public. On top of how awful it is to see Evan like that on his birthday of all days and how it really shatters Liz's carefully crafted illusion of happiness, Liz would have found Mike acting like that in public embarrassing. Her friends make a few scathing comments as they watch Ev get dragged closer and closer. Embarrassed, Liz throws out an insult of her own (insulting Evan and Mike), and quickly tries to get her friends' attention off her brothers and onto something else, something happy and fun as she wishes her brothers would just go away/disappear/stop existing.
And then the people around her start screaming.
Liz doesn't understand what happened. She wasn't looking at the stage, didn't see what happened. If she goes closer to the stage and sees Evan body, she doesn't get too close before immediately running in the opposite direction and curling up somewhere with her eyes squeezed shut and her hands over her ears.
Right now, I'm honestly kinda thinking that in the horror and panic of the Bite, William and Mike either can't find Liz or don't even think to try looking for her as they panic to stop Evan from bleeding out and drive him to the hospital. They're probably in the waiting room for an hour or two before Mike even realizes they left her behind; William probably remembered about her before this, but in spite of what just happened, William sees no problem with leaving her at a location he owns in the first place. It doesn't really occur to him that being left in a room covered in her brother's blood without her family in sight would bother her, or anyone else in that situation; he's too busy trying to puzzle through the ramifications of whether Evan will survive, if he'll lose a child, what this accident will do to his business, what Mike's response to this will be, etc.
Maybe whatever manager was at Fredbear's (other than William) ends up taking Liz home or to the hospital, or maybe Liz walks herself home or goes with one of her friends after her family abandons her there.
Or it's possible that Freddy might have realized the Aftons left Liz behind and ended up taking her along when they rush to the hospital to try supporting Evan.
Her immediate response to the Bite is just unbound rage at Mike, because it's so much easier to be mad at him than to be scared that she's the reason this happened (he got hurt the second that i wished he would disappear, i did this, i caused this). She leans into her "friend" group more than ever for the comfort she isn't really getting at home after that traumatic experience, but... she doesn't actually find any comfort or companionship in her "friends", either.
Her "friends" don't like how "moody" she is, now. They don't know how to handle her. She's not engaging in conversation like normal. They don't get any gossip from her, not about Evan or anyone else, and they can't use her to get free or discounted stuff from Fredbear Entertainment because she hasn't willingly stepped foot into one since what happened. She's simply not fun anymore, and so, Liz is faced with her greatest fear: her friends pushing her away.
Liz has to try harder then ever to be the "friend" they want her to be. As the months pass, the mask does get easier to put on, in a way. At least, she gets more used to going through the motions of putting it on. But as time passes, she starts to realize that she doesn't want to wear the mask anymore; she doesn't like the person she is when she's around her "friends," and they don't actually make her feel all that good. Still, it takes her six or seven months after the Bite to actually cut them off entirely. These "friends" are the only companions she's had for years, and it's scary to think of losing them and being alone again like she was after Charlie died. But the realization that she doesn't actually want her brother gone--either of them-- and that she was only "alone" before because she choose to push her brothers away goes a long way in helping her make that decision.
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shizucheese · 6 months
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Decided to do a bit of a roll call of my BG3 fanfic ideas to give you all a bit of a teaser and also illustrate how much this game has rotted my brain.
Remember, this started with three (3) fic ideas that were supposed to happen after the game takes place...
For context, my Tav Lysander is a half drow death cleric (ty mods <3) of Kelemvor. And my DUrge eldritch knight Cyril *doesn't exist yet*.
* After Shadowheart brings up Astarion's smell, he gets self-conscious and worries about whether or not it bothers Lysander. Lysander explains to him just how much of a non-issue it is. Astarion realizes that for all he and the others have talked about their pasts before the Nautiloid, he doesn't actually know a whole lot about Lysander. Backstory ensues.
* Cute little post-graveyard scene where Astarion apologizes if having sex in a graveyard was weird for Lysander, and Lysander has a confession.
* (one of my OG fanfics) Astarion reflects on what could have been if he had Ascended, realizes some things, and falls in love with Lysander all over again.
* Astarion wakes up from a nightmare feeling touch averse. Lysander is there for him.
* (one of my OG fics) Lysander learns how to cast True Resurrection, which is one of the ways to cure vampirism. Doing so requires the vampire to die first. Astarion asks Lysander to do it. Angst with a happy ending.
* (tentative idk if I'll do this one but I like the scenario) Direct follow up to the previous fic. The boys get spotted returning home covered in blood. Jahira lectures the cub for being reckless. Shadowheart lectures her cleric bestie for not calling her first (they have sending stones for a reason! And it's not to call each other *after* the fact). Halsin is like the only one who roles up and whose first reaction is to check vitals and make sure everyone is healthy (there will be plenty of time for lecturing later and he's pretty sure Jahira and Shadowheart have covered everything he'd want to say anyway, if not as gently...).
* (one of my OG fics) A now mortal Astarion enjoys the morning routine he's established for himself of watching the sun rise, admiring himself in the mirror for a moment, and then waking Lysander up. He reflects on all of the good things that have happened and the thing that he appreciates most about not being a vampire anymore, which isn't what he expected it to be.
* (This one's a maybe) Lysander, who's a total mama's boy, brings Astarion home to Neverwinter to meet his mother. To Astarion's horror, she's about the same age as him and she finds this hilarious. Astarion sees where Lysander gets a number of his personality traits from; the woman kinda terrifies him...
BONUS ROUND: Cyril/ Ascended Astarion edition!
* Calm down Cyril nobody's trying to kill Astarion you don't exist yet.
* Calm down Astarion nobody's trying to take Cyril away from you, he doesn't exist yet.
* Okay yes you guys drinking blood together is very sexy BUT PLEASE LET ME FINISH MY LYSANDER/ SPAWN!ASTARION PLAYTHROUGH FIRST BEFORE YOU PUT THESE IMAGES IN MY HEAD! CYRIL DOESN'T EXIST YET.
help...
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wherefore-whinnies · 7 months
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4 10 20!!! 💚💚💚
4. what is something you wish was more well known about being arospec?
that it exists and is not a subset of asexuality tyvm. like honestly half the time people talk about like ace headcanons and stuff it feels like they're actually talking about aromanticism. it's so confusing like the distinction has always been really clear to me and I never get why this is a thing with other people. I mean. I guess it's hard to "justify" a character being alloace in fandom if they never talk explicitly about sex I guess so they have to point to stuff that seems more to indicate a lack of interest in romance instead? so maybe I am being overly harsh but it always just makes me go hrrrgh.
10. what frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?
literally all of it burn everything down 🤬🤬🤬 I don't really know how to answer the question like maybe examples of amatonormativity that bother me the most? in which case everyone knows how mad I get about fandom culture and ~there's no platonic explanation for this~ etc. etc. etc. pls let people have rich and varied relationships that don't necessarily require romantic or sexual components or have them in non-traditional ways
20. if you fall under one of the arospec umbrella labels, which ones do you use and can you define them for us?
I don't actively label myself because it doesn't feel useful to me, but I do feel a great comfort in knowing that frayrose and lithrose labels exist and I find them very helpful in contextualizing my past experiences with romantic/sexual relationships instead of just sweeping it under the rug like "idk i was straight for some years and then remembered that no, that is stupid" (<- that is a past alear reference it's not stupid for people to be straight). they make things make a lot more sense looking back.
frayromantic means only experiencing romantic attraction to people you don't really know much (basically the inverse of demi), respectively for fraysexual. lithro means losing romantic attraction the instant it's acted on and reciprocated (well, that's one manifestation of it anyway), respectively for lithsexual.
I always kind of found flirting and such to be kind of a game where I win when the other person asks me out except every time the prize turned out to be overwhelming panic, horror, and revulsion. 😰 or I would lose interest upon getting to know the other person better because surprise, they are in fact a person. I don't do person. it's very funny to think back on how in my last relationship I was immediately like "btw I'm going to be very disgusted by this whole thing for the next while. I will try to make it pass asap 👍👍👍" like girl pls... at least that made me realize literally why do I do this now that I am perfectly aware it is a pattern and stop making the mistake of thinking maybe this time it will be different.
(arospec ask game)
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berrylover0571 · 5 months
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I was talking to somebody tonight and something came up that bothered me that I didn't realize had bothered me and I needed to vent about it.
Online, identity is fluid and very easy to sort of come to understand. After a certain point there is a sort of inflexibility to identity, expectations placed on You by other people, but overall your identity is very fluid and people can see a new you almost everywhere you go. Online you get the benefit of people not knowing you, who are then able to sort of come to understand who you are.
Offline this is not the case. offline, peoples expectations of you are a lot more rigid, and a lot less fluid, and a lot more likely to be inflexible and annoying and hard to deal with. I have become intimately familiar with this fact in the most recent couple days. If you don't like being specific, fit every bill, and Jive most smoothly with the way Society is, this isn't a problem. However when you're trans like me, and you're going through a period of transition, and you need a lot of things validation-wise, that validation doesn't come from the sources it should. It just, it just doesn't.
That brings me to my point:
I have never been called cute by a person in my real life proximity.
Online I've had the wonderful Fortune of quite a number of people I know finding out and knowing the real much more intimate and personal me. They know the person that I want to be, the cute, strange woman that I am. Offline I have not been so fortunate, despite being fortunately blessed with a lot of other things. I don't have a lot of typical queer traumas because a lot of the queer traumas that exist are due to an unaccepting environment and shitty relationship with religion imposed by shitty people reinforced by shitty history. I will never otherwise or trivialize those things, at least not intentionally, because doing so would be shitty on my part and Trauma should be healed not disregarded. However, the traumas I do have are very specific and very small but they have cascading effects on my person that have made navigating and existing in the world a painful experience in a different way. To sort of convey where my trauma comes from, and the ways in which I am deeply affected by certain things, I will tell you how I used to self harm, because I did something that is probably far worse than anything I could have done physically.
I could not bring myself to break skin, so I instead psychologically scarred myself through a myriad of different behaviors that were not healthy. From staying up late at night and scrolling through stuff I shouldn't have such as gore videos or deeply frightening horror videos and stories, to making myself worry about how I came off and ultimately self-sabotaging the way I interact with everyone, to long time spans of isolation from people, oftentimes self-imposed or imposed by the fact that I lived a half an hour out of town in another city all together. And what friendships I did have were intense friendships or unhealthy and toxic friendships, due partially to my selection in class, but also due to the fact that I did not value myself and let people walk all over me. This basically normalized me to the presence of unsupportive friendships and the absence of any sort of compliment reciprocation, and so for almost a decade to my entire life I have never known people who compliment me, and I have felt and found a deep anxiety in how I maintain relationships. I reinforce my worth with how much someone needs of me and not how much somebody appreciates me, and I don't like having that appreciation shown, and I've come to the conclusion that I actually should in fact like being appreciated.
Because the reason why I had an aversion was because I never knew what it was like to have a supportive group of people around me.
I've never been called cute. Not cute, not attractive, outside of maybe nice kind or creative, I am not described as really anything by people. And that carries over into my transition, which deeply bothers me. It deeply bothers me.
I have a friend group that's really supportive, and really nice and really easy to talk to and do things with and who care about me, who are complimentary and they want to do nice things constantly and it really feels good, but I've never known what I've wanted, I've never known what I've wanted to be, who I wanted to be seen as, how I've wanted to be seen, and I've been trying on things, and so by now they've kind of got a set in stone understanding of who I am and what I want to be, and I've only just realized that the person they've constructed me to be is not the person I want to be.
I don't hate the person I am to them, it's nice to feel like I'm a fierce person and to be recognized for it, I like having power for once and control and the ability to assert myself in a healthy manner, but I don't just want that. I don't just want to be assertive. I don't just want to be strong. Because I have been strong all my fucking life, I have been people's walls and I have been there ramparts and I have been their parapets, I've been every single part of a person except vulnerable, and I love being able to be relied upon, I love being able to be there for people, but I don't want that to be the only thing I have. Because it is utterly fucking exhausting.
I want to be seen as cute. And pretty and beautiful and lovely. Don't get me wrong, I love wearing black and torn jeans and fishnets and all these different things, I love that ferocity, but I still want to be all of those things and wear that kind of stuff. And I know that's possible because hundreds of other people do it and they get it.
So why can't i?
Why is it that when I relate to things, why is it that when I want to feel like I'm cute and sweet and delicate like a dried black rose, people feel the need to invalidate that? To not just let me be and just let me enjoy myself?
A friend posted something in a group chat, and I related to it, and I felt like saying I related to it, it said something cute, and for some reason the person who sent it felt the need to tell me that it was okay I related to it, but they always conceived of me as powerful. And that hurt for some reason. Like that hurt a lot.
It's so exhausting trying desperately to be the kind of person you want to be, and knowing that no matter what, no matter how much you fucking heal and rectify in yourself, it will never be enough to change how somebody sees you. It will never be enough to truly and meaningfully convey who you want to be. Because they see you and they see this one specific person, and they don't even have to be the person you were before, especially in the case of trans people, just the person they met you as, and that's the person you are to them forever for some reason.
I'm so tired of being someone I don't want to be.
I so desperately want to feel like I'm a cute person. I dress cute, I do cute things in my eyes, I try and do somewhat cute makeup, but it's not enough. It's never fucking enough. I'm so fucking tired of not being enough. I'm tired of being a second choice, I'm tired of feeling like I only attract people in my real life who want me to be crazy all the time, I'm tired of feeling like I don't exist unless I am this loud and abrasive person.
I don't know how some girls do it. I don't know how they've managed to make this fucking leap. I don't know how some of my bestest friends did it. Because God knows they're adorable and they're awesome and they're wonderful, and it's honestly killing me. It kills me every goddamn day. Every goddamn day to think I've done it, to think I've reached that threshold, done that thing, and only people who've never met me, who don't know my person and don't know who I am and only know this part of me call me cute. Because I fit their bill, thousands of miles away, through a computer screen I fit their bill.
Words on a screen A Thousand Miles away, hell 30 Mi away, aren't enough. They just aren't. It doesn't feel like I exist. Like I have substance or that I matter or that I'm interesting, it feels like I'm just an object on a screen that people can sort of look at and enjoy aesthetically.
I can appreciate the value in that, I can appreciate that when I feel like it's enough. But when I try desperately, and I mean when I try desperately, it never feels like enough and that just exhausts me. It just fucking exhausts me.
Everyone else gets what they want, but I don't.
I don't get a relationship that I can feel and exist in and be happy with, I get a relationship I feel distant from and a person who tries their best but is overextended and they most likely know it. I don't get compliments that make me feel good, I get compliments that feel like they're just telling me what they think I want to hear.
Estrogen gave me an ass and a clear head, and honestly sometimes I wish my head was fucked again because at least then I felt like I was adequate. At least then I would feel like I deserved that mess instead of realizing that I didn't.
Everyone preaches constantly about being considerate and kind and talking to people on their own terms and giving them things that make them happy in their own specific way, and yet? Everyone else gets it.
Everyone else gets to be pretty, and cute, and adorable, they get to be fawned over and loved and adored and aspired to be and I get reassurance. I get once out of a thousand times. And it kills me.
I've lived with good enough, just enough, all of my life. Been 6 months I'll be 25, a quarter of my lifespan, and I know now that it's not enough. It's never been enough. I have just been accepting things at their face value and not being the person I want to be and now that I want to be that person? It's harder than ever just to get what everyone else gets. Because I don't want to be just good enough, I don't want to be fucking exceptional, I just want once. I don't want it to be forced or out of pity I just want it naturally once!
I went in Cosplay to an anime convention as a character that's not from an anime. It was just somebody I wanted to cosplay, somebody that gave me gender euphoria, and somebody that I felt comfortable enough to be able to do. And still feel comfortable enough to be able to do.
I didn't expect to be recognized, I didn't expect to have anyone make the connection, but one person, one very kind person did. And it made my day. It wasn't forced, they didn't ask who I was, they just knew. They didn't even know their name they just knew what the character was, they knew the proper reference points and they knew what exactly to say and it made my fucking day.
Because it had worked! It had fucking worked!
That's what it would feel like but like a thousand times better.
I don't want to be pretty to an onlooker on a screen who's so distant from me and so detached from who I am, I want someone to see me in my state, trying my hardest to be the person I want to be, and I want them to say it without fucking feeling forced.
I want to feel pretty and cute and sweet, like some weird goth little Pokemon.
Why can't i?
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djservo · 1 year
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but I 🙋‍♀️ know what YOU did LAST SUMMER... and you weren't painting your nails bright orange to match the golden hour!!!!! yes, it's me (!!!) your frivolous nail anon coming back (it wasn't me b4 so don't worry 💁‍♀️) to wish you HAPPY NEW YEAR DEEJAY!!! 🥳 was going to send you merry christmas cause I wanted to chit chat 🥺 but gave up cause 1) didn't want to bother you again this year, and 2) I BAKED A CAKE!!!! kinda of... 🥴 are u going to cook/bake something today? I wanted to make a dessert with some leftovers but... things are a bit weird?? idk 🤸‍♀️ what you've been reading?? I wanted a kindle so bad but it's SO EXPENSIVE but so practical 🧘‍♀️ I'm not that much of a reader so that's why I never mentioned anything🧍‍♀️but I wanted to have something else to say, hope it doesn't bother 🤠 also to honour the nickname I just gave myself I'm planning on repainting some nails that I bite off but now I want to use silver glitter instead of my current mint-pastel-green, BUT also want to go back to orange even tho it WILL stain my nails 🤔 what do you think? are you going to get something shiny ✨ to celebrate? So sorry for the size of this 🫣
Omg HIIIII CUTIE 💗 you must realize that I Live for chit chat - frivolous or not - and you're Never a bother so get that thru ur pretty lil head right now 🤬❤️‍🔥 AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 🪩🎊‼️ (rest of my long-winded response below 😘)
what kind of cake did you make!!! I didn't make a single cake in 2022 but I've been missing the drama of it all so maybe this is the year! My sister's boyfriend loves cake and chocolate and ultimately seems to have the palate of a child so maybe if our schedules and paths collide during his birthday (they live in a different state), I'll bake him a rich chocolate cake like the one bruce is made to eat as punishment in matilda (it's also just always been a dream of mine to try something like it — two birds, one delicious stone 🎂) I'm all cookied-out from christmas so I didn't bake anything for NYE, just went with a classic charcuterie moment, popcorn made with ghee, & ofc grapes at midnight 🧀 🍇
I just did my lil december recap w imo so those are all my most recently finished reads, but currently I'm maybe a third of the way through The Dylan Dog Case Files 🧟‍♂️ I'll probably read another issue today and then later start Nobody Knows My Name by James Baldwin — I have his collected essays and the papers are so paper-thin like a bible (probably to save money/density since it's 800+ pages) so I'm pretty cautious when I read from it bc I worry about tearing a page simply by turning it too fast😟📖 although I'd love to see bezos burned at stake I do unfortunately adore my kindle & would totally recommend u ask for one next birthday/holiday 🎁 I actually asked for a refurbished one specifically, partially bc it's cheaper but also bc I've become more conscious about e-waste throughout my adult years of consumerism 🚮 I think it was $70-$80 and it works perfectly - I already have like 15 books (and I'm talkin thick ass books) downloaded so far and I haven't even made a dent in my storage — the possibilities are endless ‼️
ANYWHO Im obvi late on weighing in, but all those options sound so pretty so I'm sure whatever u chose turned out beautiful 💅 I was thinking about doing little metallic stars but I didn't find a pocket of extended patience throughout the day to execute it so I ended up not painting my nails at all 😴 I've been in this Almodóvar state of mind lately so I've kind of been craving a classic sultry red, but then I think about the inevitable horrors that come with removing red nail polish (isn't it supposed to be the hardest to remove? Or is it blue? I happen to love both 🥀)
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jeremy-ken-anderson · 5 months
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All Bad Ends
(Okay, actually that sounds like a great name for a slightly pompous live-action movie designed around someone who realizes they're in a Japanese visual-novel horror game)
There's a desire to think about what people did wrong in a horror movie. Certainly, sometimes there's an indication that the true villain was Panic and Despair, not the slasher or the monster or the dark world closing in around them. In such cases viewers like to imagine they'd have "played it right" and "won" at Horror Movie, a very normal thing to aspire to and possible thing to achieve. And some lean really hard the other way and make it 100% clear, Don't Bother. If you get in this situation you're already boned and the question around your gruesome death is not "whether" but "how." But as little as we like to admit it, most of the media in the middle of this range don't have good "solutions."
Take the first spook in Phantasmagoria (1995). Adrian lies down on a bed, trying to relax, and then hands pop out of the bed and start to grab her, scratch her, pull her down, pull her in- The moment passes and she leaps out of the bed screaming for help. The hands have vanished and, naturally, don't re-materialize when her husband checks the bed.
Even if you were the kind of person who responded to that situation with the thought, "Shit. I'm in a horror movie," you still wouldn't know what to do. There are too many different directions for the situation to go. Is calling for help the right move? Usually. Not when her support is a guy like Don. His response (and she tries to stop him) is the wrong one - "She said something was dangerous, so I'm going to recreate the circumstances with my own body." - and because he's the kind of guy to do that calling for help was going to make things worse for her in almost all situations; Either he gets killed by whatever the spook is, or nothing happens and he's more likely to think she's hysterical and ignore her during some serious issue later.
But that doesn't make it the wrong move, either. In Psycho it was not "Plot Armor" or "Expertise" that won the day for the would-be victims - the people representing those ideas died - but simply "Having two people in the room at the same time."
Even if you theorize that you're in a horror movie, that doesn't give much guidance because you generally don't know which horror movie. And the answer to that question matters a lot. In Drag Me Down to Hell exiting the house wouldn't help. In most zombie films if you can barricade and survive you'll outlast the problem, but some go the fully hopeless route. In some haunting movies you could just walk out of the house, but in others you were doomed the second you walked in.
Also, while Don's a prick for treating Adrian like she's hysterical in that scene he may be correct as far as the audience knows at that point in the game. I mean, the game's called Phantasmagoria, meaning "a sequence of images (real or imagined) like those seen in a dream." Maybe it's going to be a story about a woman's descent into madness framed as a haunting. It's really good writing and acting, to allow us to immediately perceive Don as a prick even when he's technically doing nothing wrong yet.
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dzpenumbra · 2 years
Text
9/26/22
Man, I was grumpy last night. Well, I got a lot of that out of my system this afternoon. Not even gonna say morning anymore. I keep getting in this thing where I want to try out the other strain of weed I have during the day, but I end up doing something social instead. Either talking to my Mom or, last night, talking to my brother for the first time in like a year. It's a long story, but it went well.
I'm still scared of weed. I am so tired of it. It frustrates me so much. I say this as I have a bit of a glow going. I'm still scared of the freakouts. I had a mini one last night, during my journal. That Den of Thieves thing just accessed that part of my paranoia brain that just loves psychological horror movies. God, you know what, check this out. This might actually help.
I'm thinking maybe I need to start watching psychological horror movies again. I'm a complete bleeding heart and hippie as of the past few years, not that I was that far off the rest of my life, but... I was more naive and curious with the macabre. I studied war, I watched horror movies, I listen to metal - which honestly not a ton of is really about violence or anything, but... I guess it kinda paints a picture for people. Violence didn't seem to bother me so much, like... it hadn't really gotten real yet. So I guess that effect, the "getting real", started applying to psychological horror movies as well.
Like... when you've gotten a blood clot before, you see that in a movie and suddenly it's like "oh shit, I feel for that character, I know what they're going through". Empathy. You know, that thing that everyone seems to be tossing in the garbage lately. So I guess that's how I'm trying to relate this "getting real" thing, applying that to more psychological horror movies. Like starting to believe that ghosts are real. Or, I guess for me, this like... Final Destination kinda feeling. Like "you've got a week to live", dun dun duuuuun. Superstition? Weed opens the doors for that shit so viscerally. And it's something that kinda runs in my family, I think it's because we have very vivid imaginations that don't always have regulated outlets. That's my running theory. It makes sense, because all three of us that I've identified have this problem are all writers, and two of us are musicians.
I guess that's the flip side of this plant gift, right? You get the vivid inspiration, the creativity boost. At least I have with this one. So it opens the gates for inspiration to strike, and engaging with it passionately feels much easier. I get lost in thought a lot easier too, and wander freely with less self-criticism. But the flip side, I'm noticing, is that this vivid inspiration/occurrence/realization has a dark side. It's not exclusive to boons, it doesn't discriminate, it picks up meaningful things - patterns, connections, symbols, etc. - things of importance, and shows them to you honestly.
What I got was a face-to-face look at some of my biggest fears. Death before my time, before living a life I am satisfied with. Being misunderstood when I have the best intentions, and am trying to fulfill what I see as my life's purpose: to share my perspective. Being persecuted for my perspective. Being hunted for being an intellectual. I think many share these fears. There is unfortunately a lot of historical evidence of these, and my trust in humanity has been waning, so that feeds these fears quite well. The ignorant masses are terrifying enough when you're part of an oppressed faction. Try being a loner. The prospect of that is just... really all encompassing, honestly.
I was thinking as I was brushing my teeth earlier about how one of the biggest things I learned in my time in therapy environments was the ability to say "fuck it" and talk about my problems. With complete strangers. To have faith in them, and open up my closest troubles. I have even been betrayed by this in the past, and I still continue. I learned how to just throw it out there, get it over with, and I practiced for years. Now, after years of extreme social isolation... it's almost automatic. I open up very quickly, and completely. And it overwhelms a LOT of people. Doing this, here, is practice as well. I think it's a healthy component to being at peace with your thoughts and the world. Or maybe it's just an exercise, I don't know anymore.
I think a big part of overcoming anxiety, especially when it comes to PTSD folk like myself, is to learn how to trust again. After betrayal, pain, being victimized, all that. How do you trust again? When you know the wolves are prowling out there, growing in number by the day... how do you expose your weaknesses to them? How do you find the faith to submit yourself to them, to walk out into the woods bare naked, arms spread, with trust and love, and just... believe that they won't take you down. You try. You cultivate your will. You get up. And you throw it. Like the first time you dropped in on a quarterpipe, if you've ever skated. You can do all the mental prep that you want, but there is the one point where you just gotta put your fuckin foot on the board and just let it happen. And that's what I'm trying to practice, as my ongoing exposure therapy for PTSD.
Cannabis - I never know what to call it, whatever - I think amplifies both the intensity of the fear response, but also helps with creative thought, which can help put things into perspective. I'm still struggling to articulate it because I'm pretty new to really... paying attention to what a high really does, honestly. It's a weird thing, but like... vividly describing exactly what effects a cannabis high has on you - body, mind, etc. - is surprisingly difficult to do. Tobacco is pretty easy - lightheaded, sharper focus, kinda caffeine-like but a bit relaxed too, especially shisha. Alcohol is even pretty easy too. But weed has varying levels of hallucinogenic effects which take a lot of forms. Maybe I need to do some more research, but goddammit their aren't a lot of frontiers left to explore so I guess I kinda just wanna explore this for myself!
So yeah, in a nutshell... I think the reason why people (myself included) freakout on weed - think you're having a heart attack, think people are out to get you, think the world is ending, whatever it might be - is kinda... the reason why they should be smoking therapeutically. It shows them exactly what they need to work on, what they're scared of. Again, that quote, what gets between them and happiness. And because of that, I have no fucking clue how anyone could just smoke weed every damn day and not get insane revelations constantly. Maybe their brains just don't go as deep as mine, or maybe they just dismiss those thoughts as brain scraps or garbage or "invasive thoughts" or nonsense or whatever the lingo of the day is. Maybe I entertain them, where most would just go "wow, that was a dumb thought." Maybe that's what makes me an artist? I don't know.
With this journey, I may actually try to get into medical studies that people are doing with PTSD and weed. I have been doing it solo for a few months and it's going phenomenally. There are always bumps and I still have a healthy fear of freakouts to the point where I'm doing baby amounts of the tincture I have and still just taking like one hit of flower at a time. But the inner growth, getting to know my inner landscape and how my thoughts work, it's been... hard to put into words, I actually drew a blank. It's like I'm finally allowing myself to get to know myself. It's helping me feel much more comfortable in my skin. And also I'm reacquainting myself with my demons along the way. Which sucks ass. But it's a bit different this time.
I'm cutting this thought off here, I want to get to bed before sunrise. Thank you for reading, if you did, and I encourage you all to be brave and trusting in your own personal soul work. It's not easy, but it is very worth it.
0 notes
june-again · 3 years
Note
i haven't see the promised neverland, but it's on my watch list :D
-mango 🥭
OOH OKAY HSEBEB IT'S FUN TO BINGE WATCH LATE AT NIGHT LMFAO
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mysticalrambling · 3 years
Note
Hi!!!!!!! I have a request for you😋
Its something to do with the recent Chris and Lizzo interaction(no hate to her). Can you write something about their recent interaction, like chris and lizzo talking about the baby joke and the internet goes nuts. But what chris doesn't know is that his girlfriend feels hurt, that he is disregarding her feelings, like its kind of humiliating to the reader, that chris her boyfriend is talking about baby with other person when he has his own girlfriend and she is hurt by him. She confronts Chris but he just gets mad and calls her jealous and insecure, which hurts her further and she just gets mad and leaves his house. Later when Chris mom sees the news she scolds him about joking of having a baby with someone else and hurting his partner then he understands how his girlfriend must have felt and they recincile. I hope you're getting what i m saying sorry if it sounds confusing, but can you write it? 🤗
Facing Realities (C.E)
A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it and I am open to more requests.
Chris Evans Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)
Summary: You feel unimportant when Chris can easily discuss about having a child with Lizzo in public but will always dismiss you when you bring up the topic. Getting in to a fight, you leave him and he eventually realises his mistake because of his mom.
Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.
._._._._.
“The fans want to know about the Instagram dms between the two of you.” The reported quizzed Lizzo and Chris as they both sat in front of him on the couch.
“Well, our baby is going to be the best.” Lizzo spoke with amusement clear in her eyes.
“The world is going to have a little Captain America at their hands soon, right Lizzo?” Chris chuckled.
“Right. And how is your new movie coming along?” The interviewer started asking different questions and soon it was all over.
“Will see you soon Cap. Say hi to (Y/N) for me.” With a quick hug, she left the studio with her usual power walk. Chris just shook his head slightly when he heard all the fans asking her about the baby. They were all truly something and Lizzo just went through them without giving a response.
You didn’t have anything against Lizzo because you knew that everything between her and Chris was platonic. The fact that Chris was so open to discuss about having a baby was what bothered you. He always dismiss you when you wanted to talk about your future and extending your family. It felt like you were the only one in this world that Chris did not want to talk to regarding this topic. This made you feel worthless and pathetic.
You knew that jealousy wasn’t the right word to describe your emotions right now but that’s what it felt like. Confronting people was never your thing and you always did what they asked instead of arguing. It was much easier but you knew that you couldn’t get away with this. This was in regards to your future and so when Chris was going to come home from his interview, you were going to talk to him about it.
“Honey, I am home.” Losing his jacket on the love seat, he made his way towards the kitchen because it was dinner time and he could smell the delicious food from the hallway.
“Hi babe. I am making your favorite. Just go and freshen up.” You stated not turning back because you knew you would break the instant your eyes landed on your boyfriend.
He came to the dining table in his sweats and dived into the food immediately because he was starving. “So…” You tried starting up a conversation but backed down when you saw his questioning gaze trained on you. “Um how was the interview?”
“It was nice. Lizzo and I talked about the baby. God, I just love that woman.” The self doubt in your mind was growing by the minute because he was casually talking about a baby with another woman. He didn’t realise that he was hurting your feelings and he just kept on talking about how amazing it would be to actually have a baby with Lizzo.
“So have you ever thought about extending our family?” You finally mustered up some courage to ask him the question.
“No, I haven’t. We can talk about it another time. So what did you today?” The dismissal in his tone was enough to break your heart into tiny pieces.
“But we have too, Chris. We have been in a relationship for the past three years.”
“I do not want to discuss it today so just drop it (Y/N).” The stern look would have made you back down in a normal situation but not today.
Dropping your fork on the plate, you spoke with irritation, “You never want to have this discussion with me but you would gladly do it with Lizzo.”
“I knew it had something to do with her. Why are you so jealous?”
“I am not jealous. It’s just that you are willing to discuss about your baby with everyone except me.”
“There is nothing going on between Lizzo and I, if that’s what you mean.”
“I know that. I just want to know if you have ever thought about having kids with me or am I just a fling to you?” You we’re absolutely done with him at this point and you dreaded his answer.
“(Y/N), I have told you a million times that you are not a fling. What are you on about?”
“It just seems that I am no longer the person that you want to discuss things with. It’s just not about the whole kid thing but you didn’t even tell me that you are starting in a new movie. I had to find it from the fucking paparazzi.”
“I was going to tell you and I am just not ready for a family yet.”
“Well instead of ignoring me every chance you got, you could have told me about it.” The frustration in your eyes was clear but Chris chose to ignore it. It was as if he was totally immune to all of your emotions.
Whenever the topic of children came up, Chris didn’t tinker why he acted like a jerk. He had always thought about expanding his family but when you came in to the picture, he was so terrified of losing you that he couldn’t even think what a baby would do to your relationship.
“I am not good with all this and you need to be patient with me.”
“All I have ever been is patient for you. Not anymore.”
“What do you mean?” Sudden realization dawned upon him and he was left speechless.
“I need a break from you. Call me when you figure everything out.”
“(Y/N), you are doing this because of Lizzo. Stop acting like an insecure and jealous bit-” Stopping mid sentence, he looked at you in horror.
Tears sprang in your already damp eyes, “Why are you stopping now? Finish the sentence, Chris.”
“(Y/N), I-”
“Good bye, Chris.” Walking out of your once shared home was the most difficult thing that you had to do in this life but there was no other choice. You both were at an impasse and you needed time to sort it all out. Hailing a taxi, you went to your friend, Scarlett’s house. She was a mutual frond of you both but she had become your best friend in the past three years.
Meanwhile, Chris downed a whole bottle of scotch and sat in your shared bedroom with your picture in his hand. He didn’t want to lose you to a stupid argument but he failed to see that he was at fault. Sleeping without you proved as a heinous task and he gave up after two hours. He just sat in the bed alone and hoped to God that you will come back to him. A life without you wasn’t a life at all. However, Chris would not be the one to apologise because in his opinion, he didn’t do anything wrong.
The passing few days, you absolutely refused to get out of the house and stayed holed up in Scarlett’s guest bedroom. “(Y/N), you need to eat something.” Your friend barged in with a tray full of food and you instantly felt nauseous.
“Not in the mood, Scar.” Your eyes had been red and puffy for the last week but you didn’t care. Chris was the only one that you cared about. However, you could not be in a relationship that had no future. You deserved better than that.
“You need to eat and get out of this mood. It’s making me depressed.”
“I don’t care. Leave me alone.” Snapping at her was never your intention and you instantly regretted it. “I am sorry. I am just not in the right frame of mind.”
“It’s okay. You want to watch something.”
“Yeah, F.R.I.E.N.D.S.”
Chris was no better than you or maybe even worse. He hadn’t changed out of his sweats for the past two days and had a slight scruff covering his face. Empty bottles of alcohol laid around the whole house and rotten food was placed on the kitchen counter. The whole house was a mess and he didn’t care about anything. Except you. Everything in this house reminded him of you and he hated it. From the bedroom walls to the well groomed garden.
The phone rang for the millionth time and he picked it up from the nightstand. It was his mom. Sighing, he finally picked it up. “Christopher Robert Evans, where the hell have you been?”
“I was at home, mom.” The loose thread on your pillowcase suddenly seemed more interesting than the phone conversation.
“With (Y/N)?”
“She left me, mom.” Chris didn’t want to talk about it but he figured that his mom wouldn’t leave him alone otherwise.
“Serves you right. You left her no other choice.”
“How can you say that? I haven’t done anything.”
“I saw the interview, Chris. Have you ever talked with (Y/N) about extending your family?”
“No but I was just joking with Lizzo.”
“It doesn’t matter. She would have felt unimportant because this is a very private matter and she was not a part of it.”
“But-”
“Imagine if the roles were reversed.” Realisation dawned upon him and he quickly said goodbye to his mother because he had a girlfriend to win back. Every second spent without you was agonizing and he never wants to experience it.
“(Y/N), Chris is here to see you.” Peeking her head through the door, Scarlett informed you about your boyfriend. You quickly untangled yourself from the sheets and ran to the washroom. You wanted to look presentable but Chris could see the dark circles under your eyes and your thin figure. There was a sudden pang in his heart because he knew this was all his doing.
“I am sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have said anything. I am a fool. Please forgive me.” He started ranting as soon as Scar left the room.
“Chris, have you thought about what I said?” Your calm aura was scaring his wits so he quickly answered with a yes. “Please elaborate.”
“I have realised that I was at fault and I am going to be more open about the future of our relationship from now on.” The sincere look in his eyes was hard to miss.
“Promise?” Gone was the calm and collected exterior, and stood before him was a vulnerable young woman.
“I promise, baby. Now, will you come back home? I have missed you.”
“Yes and I missed you too.” Kissing him on the lips, you sighed because this was your heaven and you wouldn’t want to leave it for the world.
Hope you guys enjoyed it!!
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A/N: I love Chris Evansand I was happy to write a fanfiction about him. If you guys have any more request, I will be happy to write about them and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.
Taglist: @justile 
Like, comment and reblog.
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dourpeep · 3 years
Note
OKAY time for a college au!!
You 3 know each other from before college
You and kazuha were seating next to each other during your first year of high school you became close enough to greet each other whenever you guys pass by each other
And you and Xiao were best friends from kindergarten to 2 grade but unfortunately you had to move suddenly you two tried to keep contact but the two of you made new friends and kinda lost contact with each other
So when you go to college you meet kazuha at the front desk when you're trying to get your schedule and yall are like "omg I'm so happy to see someone that I know here!" and when you guys check your schedules it turns out that the two of you have the same class during the first period
And you're like "we've got 30 minutes wanna go grab a cup of coffee and get lost together?" and kazu knows that you playfully flirt with your friends so he jokingly says "are you asking me out for a date? Because if you are then I accept!" and you guys talk on the way to class and the two of you barely make it on time
Class ends and you're sad to say goodbye to the only person you know on campus but then all of a sudden he hits you with a "by the way can I have your number?" so you two exchange numbers
Later you're going to your last class and it turns out that this class doesn't have many people you go sit in the back and someone comes up to you and is like "can I sit next to you? " you say yes obviously
But the thing is... there is something very familiar about this guy and you just can't put your finger on it so you kind of stare at him without realizing it
Of course he noticed how hard you've been staring at him and turns around and is like "what? Is there something on my face?" that's when it finally clicks
And you're just like "XIAO??! IS THAT REALLY YOU?!!" but the teacher comes in so you two can't really talk
But the moment class ends you tell him who you are and take a few minutes to catch up
Though I say catch up it was mostly you teasing him saying shit like "I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!" (he's starting to think that maybe he should have sat somewhere else)
So you're like "hey how we go actually catch up I've got some coupons for this café I went to this morning with a friend"
He doesn't have a reason to say no so he just accepts the invitation
When you guys get there who do you meet? KAZUHA! This man actually works there!
When you see him you're like "kazuha why didn't you tell me that you work here?" but he pretends not to know you and is like "oh? Well who might this fine customer be?" you can tell he's joking by the way he's trying not to laugh so you decide to play along
Poor Xiao is starting to regret coming with you (but don't worry he got 2 plates of almond tofu as an apology)
-no primogems (I'll make another part later where you 3 become roommates)
YES I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS-
dhfaeiahe I realize now that I should've just posted this as is since I wasn't planning on adding to this but might as well add in some thoughts I've had about this lovely trio eh??? tbh I didn't add much I just slipped in a few little things hehe
Can you guess the roomates?? Also the bio professor is Albedo ehe
Anyway!!
Considering it's the first semester of college, you haven't yet decided on your major. Luckily, you have quite a few general education classes to take, so you register all in one night.
You'll have the time to figure it all out as time goes by, no?
The rest of summer is spent juggling moving into the campus' dorms, working, and keeping up with some friends from high school. While you've kept contact with a few friends, you definitely kicked yourself in the ass for forgetting to ask Kazuha for his number...how could you forget one of your best friends?
But, you suppose that he's far off in a whole other city with his wish to experience more. You can't help but wonder what he's up to.
Then, the first day of classes starts.
How did you not figure out where everything is first? Instead of moping, you trudge to the administrative building early to ask for directions and, even better, a map of the large campus.
Instead, you find a familiar head of cream-colored hair.
Immediately, you gasp and he turns around in confusion, only for a soft smile to spread over his features. It's only been a summer but it's a relief to see that you know another person. Comparing schedules, he points out that you both have Communications 1301 together.
For once, you're glad you have to take these mandatory courses...
But with an abundance of time (as Kazuha just so happens to know where the class is), he accepts your jokingly firtatious proposal to head to the cafe just across campus to grab a morning drink.
It's hardly been long since you've last spoken to him, but there's still so much to talk about! It turns out he opted to rent out a small studio apartment just a few blocks away from campus! Naturally, he invites you over sometime.
He's also admitted that he decided to major in English--something you're not surprised to hear. After all, Kazuha's a natural at the subject, exceeding the assignments and always so eloquent.
If you recall correctly, he used to tote around a little notebook full of little musings and poetry during high school. You wonder if he still does that.
You talk about how you've just moved into the dorms a week ago, how you're lucky to be rooming with two musically inclined (if not a bit rowdy) people. You're sure that he'd take a liking to them once everything is calmed down a bit. Kazuha just raises a brow in half-doubt.
Before you know it, it's been an hours and, to your horror, your first class starts in five minutes. Not to mention that it was back closer to the admin building and you were on the opposite side of campus.
But it's still fun, Kazuha laughing as you jolt up and tug him to stand, the two of you running to get to class on time. With heaving breaths and flushed faces, you make it just a few minutes late. Luckily, your professor didn't mind because it was the first day...
Following class, you have to make your way to Bio 1301, Kazuha having a major-specific English course to get to. Before you can speak, though, he offers his phone to you. It's newer than his old flip phone you'd tease him about all the time, the screen clean save for a few stray fingerprints.
After you put in your number, he beams and quickly sends you a call so you can have his too.
"Call me after you're done with classes, alright?"
You promise to and the two of you set off.
Biology proves to be uneventful, a full hour and a half of the (rather attractive) professor going over what to expect as well as passing out lab waiver forms. A necessary precaution, he said with a reserved sigh. You wonder what happened.
When the hour ends, you have some time before World History, followed by a Trigonometry course.
By the time you find your trig class, most of the seats are already taken, making that feeling of dread fill the pit of your stomach. Nothing is worse than being forced to take whatever seat is left. But, noticing a seat by the windows, it's not so bad.
You're in the back, though, settling your bag beneath your chair and picking out a pen and schedule book.
At some point, someone walks in and asks if the seat in front of you is taken. You don't bother to look up long as you fish out a notebook, letting him know it's free.
As class goes on, you realize that the guy in front of you most likely hasn't been paying attention. Considering that the professor has been rehashing stuff from Algebra...you're not surprised. But something about his dark hair catches your eye. Not to mention his striking gold eyes...hm.
It's not until you catch his profile as he stares out the window that it clicks.
"Xiao."
His eyes dart to look at you, a confused look washing over his face. You repeat his name.
"Yes?"
Part of him is just about ready to leave as recognition floods your expression, smile wide. How could you possibly---
"I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!"
The tips of his ears turn red fast, something that you remember very well about him, and his gaze quickly flicks over to the professor still dragging on. When gold settles back on you, they're practically begging for you to lower your voice.
"It's been forever--I can't believe that you-"
"If you're going to talk, do it outside of class."
Ah. Oopsie.
Time seems to drag on while you buzz in your seat, excited to see your childhood friend after loosing contact. You've missed him over the years, always wondering what happened to him, how he's been. And finally, when class ends, he gets up and waits for you.
Naturally, you want to catch up, so you invite him to go to the cafe with you for a late lunch.
"You still like almond tofu right? It's all you used to eat when we were little." Laughing, you nudge his shoulder and the color returns to his cheeks as he mumbles a yes.
When you step into the cafe, a familiar voice greets you.
"If I knew a cute customer would be coming, I would've gone on break."
Kazuha leans on the counter, mirth in his eyes and you gasp. It makes sense now, why he's so well acquainted with the campus and why he'd already known what to order when you arrived for drinks-
"What can I get for you today?"
"Your number."
Xiao's face pales at the blatant flirting, wondering if he should've just declined the invitation to the cafe until the two of you burst into laughter. Though, it's hardly better.
"Sorry, sorry- This is Kazuha, one of my friends from high school. Kazuha, this is my childhood best friend Xiao."
With a day so filled with nice coincidences, you doubt that life can get any better than this.
Oh, how wrong you'd be.
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lxvebun · 3 years
Note
If it's not a bother, could I request hcs for Dabi comforting his easily scared s/o (if you're comfortable with it, maybe his s/o is Autistic? But if you're not comfortable writing that, you can totally ignore that part) ty in advance, feel free to ignore this if you don't wanna write it!!
Dabi x Autistic s/o
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A/n Hi honey thank you so much for requesting! Im totally okay with writing this. I do know a few things about autism but let me know if I made a mistake! I hope you like it!
english is not my first language im sorry for any mistakes<33
Cw: few curse words, very small mentions of hurting someone but nothing explicit, dabi calls you doll
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Honestly I don't think dabi would realize you're autistic at first
He's heard of it but doesn't really know much about it
You thought he knew that you were because he's been so comforting and supportive
But that's just Dabi being completely in love with you and being very observant of your behaviours.
You will have to tell him you're autistic
Now that he knows tho
He's researching the shit out of it
You find it hard to hold eye contact? Thats fine! No pressure! doesn't mind if you look away and if it makes you feel more comfortable he will look away as well.
You use stim toys? Cool!
Ngl he didn't realize what it was at first
"What the fuck is that popping sound"
"Its my toy"
"??"
"It calms me down"
"Ooh..are there any more toys like this?"
"Yup they're called stim toys"
Next day mans comes home with atleast 20 of them
I mean they are small he can just put them in his jacket and run away.
"Doll look what I got you :D
Dabi knows you get scared easily
So he will make you write down everything thats triggering so he can avoid that as much as he can.
Tries his best not to yell and be violent too much when you're around.
When you get scared.
If you're okay with him touching you he will pull you on his lap and cuddle you for a bit
If you don't want him to touch you, he will whisper lots of words of affection along with your favorite petnames and comforting thoughts.
He will bring out all your comfort items
I mean they are probably already scatterd everywhere in the house cause baby wants you to feel safe and comfortable
And will put on a movie or some music
Or just take a nap with you
Depends on what you want
If it's a person that made you scared.
Suddenly they mysteriously dissapeard
Sudden loud noises outside?
Will destroy whatever is making that noise. Doesn't matter if it's a person or a thing. Its silent now lol
Scary thoughts?
Will 100% pretend that your thoughts are a person and just cuss them out and hopefuly make you laugh as well.
"Me? getting my ass beat by a hero? Thats fucking stupid, WHO the hell do you think you are.??"
Dabi is also very protective in general
But now that he knows you get scared easily that shit gets amplified times 100
he will NOT let you watch horror movies or any other creepy things.
Also does not want you to play gorey videogames.
Anything slighty triggering or scary near you?
He will burn it lol
I think Dabi will take over your habit of hoarding comfort items
Stuffed animals? Yes he definitely has one multiple now
It's an animal crossing stuffie you can't change my mind
Probably uses a small bubble stim toy so he can focus on something else other than people shigiraki's bullshit.
Will glady listen to you info dumping about whatever you're focused on at the moment
Don't even think about stopping lol cause he's actually interested
"Doll, why did you stop??keep going it was getting interesting"
He has memorized all your stims and in what type of situations you use them.
Your happy stims?
Cutest thing to ever exist! noone can convince him otherwise.
He will also make you write down every texture that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Labels and stitching in clothing?
Your clothes were probably already okay with texture so Dabi just went through his own hoodies and shirts to make sure all labels are cut off.
Uncomfortable food textures?
Not to worry! You guys cook together most of the time
That way Dabi can learn a thing or two about cooking
And you can make sure all textures are fine.
Anyone makes fun of you? haha you got a big storm coming honey.
Dabi will never be violent in front of you so he will just take care of the person when you're away or asleep.
Dabi loves you so so much! You're the love of his life. You never have to worry. he will always try his absolute best to make you feel safe and comfortable.
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If I made any mistakes do let me know! And if you want me to rewrite it better just send me another ask!
Read my DNI before interacting
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miguelslefteyebrow · 3 years
Text
An Act Of Kindness || M.YG
Pairing : Min Yoongi X Reader
Genre : soft yandere?
Summary : When your summer camp groupmates decide to go 'off rhe road', everything goes wrong.
Wordcount: 2.6k lol
[ A/N: Suggested for my Baby Project series, but it was a little too dark so here's a one shot instead. I'm not exactly great at 'yandere' genre yet so like,, I tried lol.Enjoy!]
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" I don't know about this guys." You tell your annoying group mates as you're walking of the path and into the depths of the forest.
One of your groupmates, Heeyoung huffs as she looks over her shoulder at you.
" Psh, don't be such a whimp. We're just going off the road to make a shortcut." She tells you.
Jungkook grins at you from a few steps up front.
" Relax, it'll be fine. Besides, we've got the map, nothing will go wrong." He smiles, waving said paper map with his hand.
You still hesitate.
" I really don't know guys, they did forecast that it'll rain today too. Besides, how do we even know where we are from the map? If we walk off the path, we won't be able to track our own location." You point out.
You really aren't in the mood to die just because of these people. You've seen enough horror movies.
" Relax, it'll be fine." Jimin nudged you from beside.
You look at Jimin's face, the male has always quite charmed you in a way, and unlike the other two, he wasn't quite as annoying either.
" Jungkook's right. What could go wrong?" He smiles at you.
-
Quite frankly, almost everything went wrong.
It's now around 4 hours later, and the four of you are hopelessly lost in the depths of the forest.
It's raining now too, buckets of water falling from the grey skies, not exactly pleasant.
" Wait, can you show me the map one more time?" Heeyoung asks Jungkook as an excuse to huddle close to him.
He looks at her weirdly as she presses herself up against his arm, but doesn't comment on it. Figuring she probably just feels cold.
All of you are dressed in shorts and a t-shirt after all, except for you, as you're also wearing a long sleeved up zip up hoodie. You were lowkey prepared for this, but considering it's been raining for at least 30 minutes now, your small preparation had no effect anymore, and so you too have chattering teeth.
You watch in disappointment when Jungkook unfolds the soaked map, only to have it literally slip through his fingers, the flimsy pieces of paper falling hopelessly on the ground.
Heeyoung watches the thing fall before hitting Jungkook, now suddenly mad.
" You know what? This is all your fault! If you hadn't soaked the map!-"
" My fault?! You wanted to walk off the damn path!" Jungkook argued right back at her.
You pinched your brows. Great, so you were stuck with two idiots now too.
" Okay, uhm, let's just not blame anyone. It can't change how we're situated now, let's just find shelter and check our phones." Jimin suggests.
You nod numbly, teeth chattering as all of you go to seek for coverage.
Jungkook and Heeyoung are suddenly not attached to the hip anymore as you do so, it appeared the girl wasn't interested in him anymore.
" Hey, uhm, I'm sorry for not listening to you. I should've agreed." Jimin says as he now walks beside you.
You smile at him gratefully.
" Thanks, I appreciate that actually." 
He nods.
" So, uhm, do you mind if I hold your hand? I know we're not close and all, but you seem cold, and I can't exactly offer you my jacket, not to mention that I'm quite cold too." He suggests, not looking at you as he says so.
You smile at his antics, finding his behavior cute.
" Sure." You reply shortly as you move to grab a hold on Jimin's hand.
His fingers interlock with yours easily. Both of your skins feel cold, even against each other, but it admittedly felt nice to not feel alone in a situation like this.
It isn't until another twenty minutes later that Jungkook has found something.
" Guys! Look at that! That seems like shelter." Jungkook says, pointing to, what seems to be, part of a roof.
Jimin and you exchange glances. 
For some reason, it felt like he was asking something, and so you shrug as a response.
He nods before turning back to the other two.
" Okay, let's go there." 
-
" Nope, mine is dead too." Jimin sighs, pocketing his phone before running the same hand through his hair.
He hasn't let go of your hand since thirty minutes ago, except for when you took out your phone, and for some reason, the small action made you feel a little funnier about Jimin.
The four of you are stood in front of, what seems to be, an abandoned, mansion. Most blinds are closed, but the blinds that are open show dark rooms, and are mostly on the second floor.
" We could, try to knock?" Heeyoung suggests.
You blink, looking up at the bit of the building you can see. For some reason, it gives you a cold vibe.
" I don't thinks anyone even lives here-"
You've barely finished your sentence when Heeyoung is already knocking.
You sigh, not all too surprised by her in all honesty.
However, surprise and fear greet you as the door suddenly jiggles.
Jungkook's eyes widen, and Jimin tugs you closer to him as the sound sounds.
All of you are even more surprised when the door opens, being greeted by a rather old looking male, who blinks at all of you.
" Excuse me, but can I help you?" The man asks politely.
He seems to be around his fourties at least, and all of you let out a breath.
" Hello! Sorry for suddenly knocking. It's just that it's raining-"
As she speaks, it also starts to thunder.
What a great moment.
" - And thundering, so we wondered if we could stay here for a while until the weather dies down a bit." She asks them, a friendly smile on her face.
The male clears his throat.
" Well then, please come in and wait here in the hallway. I will ask master Min for permission." He tells her before opening the door wider.
She smiles, turning to all of you, and motioning with her head to follow her in.
You all do so. The hallway is large, stereo typical for a mansion, with multiple doors, and a clean marble floor, along with a grand staircase to the second floor.
You subconsciously tighten your grip on Jimin's hand.
He turns to you with a worried expression.
" You okay? We can go if you think it's a bad idea." He tells you.
You're barely turning to look at him before he clarifies.
" I trust your judgement."
" Oh. I see. Well, I really don't know. It feels here kind of off? But I feel like it's going to storm soon, so maybe we should just ask for a phone connection and wait here." You suggest.
He hums.
" Sounds like a plan to me."
A few moments later the man returns, a kind smile on his face.
" The master will be with us shortly, he'd like to know who'd be seeking shelter in his house before he will grant it." The man smiles.
As you study his stance, you realize that this man is most probably a staff.
" Oh, where are my manners? My name is Charles, I'm the butler of this mansion." He smiles.
Jungkook nods, about to introduce himself, when the sound of clacking shoes sounds.
All of you turn to the grand staircase, where a single male is walking down from. Your eyes widen in surprise. The male who's walking down said stairs is stunning. He's got a pale skin, black hair, and is wearing a dark blue suit with a white button up underneath.
Who relaxes in that kind of outfit? Not that you'll complain or anything, he was admittedly good looking. He walks down unbothered, seemingly not bothered by your looks.
" Say whatever you want, but he is very handsome." Heeyoung whispers to you.
You nod silently in response, and Jimin clears his throat.
You turn to blink at him.
" Something wrong?" you ask him.
" No not-"
" My name is Min Yoongi. I live here. Who are you?" 
It appeared the male, now known as Min Yoongi, had already come to a stop in front of you.
" Right, sorry! My name is Heeyoung, these are Jungkook, Jimin and Y/N." Heeyoung smiles at him.
He doesn't smile back, simply letting his eyes go over all of your forms for a moment. You shivered as his eyes went over your form.
" Fine, you may stay for now. Has any of you had dinner yet?" He asks, voice deep, and eyes holding a bored expression.
" Dinner? We've only had breakfast!-"
" Uhm, thank you! But, that's not necessary. If we could maybe make a call though, that'd be great." You hurriedly stop Jungkook.
Yoongi raises a brow at you in surprise, as both Heeyoung and Jungkook come at you.
" Okay, y'know what?! This is enough. He's literally being nice to us by offering us a meal, and you're just going to turn him down? What is wrong with you?!" Heeyoung yells at you.
" C'mon Y/N. Just one meal? We're all hungry." Jungkook tries, a little more softly.
Yoongi watches you and your friends sharply, not exactly amused by the rudeness of your group mate.
You squeeze Jimin's hand softly as you step back, not entirely sure on what to do.
" Alright, uhm, let's not get mad at her. And staying for one meal should be alright. Right?" He tries too.
You sigh, but nod anyway.
The meal was filled with chatter of your groupmates and charles, Yoongi was mostly silent, and so were you. Heeyoung tried her best to get Yoongi's attention, often complementing him for the meal and his hospitality, he didn't really do much in return, simply nodding until he at some point friendly told her to sod off.
Soon after you tried ringing the camp, but to your disappointment, the lines were dead, and the storm had only worsened.
" It's dead. Any idea if we can fix it?" You asked Yoongi as you put the phone away.
He shook his head, bangs moving.
" I'm afraid not. I can offer all of you a bed for tonight only." He suggests, messing his hair up.
You bite your lip in thought, looking out of the window beside you.
The storm certainly wasn't going to get better anytime soon.
You sighed, before nodding. Going out there now was a death wish.
" That'd be nice. Thank you, and I'm sorry for us suddenly turning up on your doorstep." You tell him.
He shakes his head.
" Don't worry about it."
About an hour later you're seated on your bed. You, Jimin, Heeyoung and Jungkook all had your own rooms. The other three in the bedrooms across the hallway from you while you're situated beside Min Yoongi's very own bedroom.
After about twenty minutes, there's a knock sounding at your door.
" Come in." You call out.
The door opens, and you're surprised to find Yoongi standing there.
" Oh, hi. Is everything alright?" You ask him.
He hums.
" Yeah, just wanted to talk to you, if you don't mind. " He tells you with a small smile.
You nod, sitting down at the bed as he sits down opposite you at the desk.
Conversation went surprisingly smooth, after a few minutes into talking, it went as if you two knew each other for years.
" Y'know, you seem to be a pretty perfect person." He tells you as your laughter died down.
You snorted.
" Pft, nah. My grades really prove otherwise." You tell him.
You're flattered a man of his 'rank' thinks like that about you, but you really don't agree.
He grins.
" Grades are just a social structure." He shrugs.
You smile at him.
" Thanks, but really though. No one is perfect. Especially not me." You tell him honestly.
You don't hate yourself, but that doesn't mean you view yourself as perfect either.
He shakes his head.
" I think your head's messing with you due to the time. I'll see you tomorrow. You guys can still stay for breakfast right?" He asks.
You think about it for a moment.
You're already here anyway. How bad could staying over for breakfast be?
-
The first thing you notice when you wake up is that it's already light out.
The second thing you notice is that it's eerily quiet.
You bolt out of bed, changing in the bathroom and folding the borrowed clothes on the sink. There's a packaged toothbrush by the sink too, and so you brush your teeth before going downstairs.
"Y/N?" You suddenly hear Yoongi's voice from somewhere beside you.
You turn around in surprise, barely tripping over your feet in your hurry.
Yoongi reacts quickly, catching you by your shoulders and holding you upright.
you both blink at each other before he gently lets go of you.
" Sorry, uhm- What are you doing here?" He asks you.
You furrow your brows at him.
" What do you mean? Where's the rest?" You ask him confused.
" They left already, I thought you went with them." He blinks.
Did they really leave you?
-
Meanwhile Jimin is looking around him in confusion.
Where was he?
He looks around, checking his surroundings.
He, Jungkook and Heeyoung seemed to be sleeping in a clearing in the forest. It takes him a moment before he remembers what happened. It takes him another moment before he realizes you're missing.
Jungkook wakes up soon after.
" Hey, where's Y/N?" Jimin asks him.
Jungkook blinked, before rolling on his side.
"Idunno, probably still asleep." He mumbles sleepily.
Jimin rolls his eyes before throwing sand at the younger, who's quick to get up.
"What the hell?-"
"What are you lads doing here?" Another voice suddenly joins the conversation.
Both males look up, only to see a man, seemingly a little over his 25's standing there.
" Uhm, hi. We're kind of lost." Jungkook explains, waking up Heeyoung before getting up and dusting off his pants.
The man blinks before nodding.
" I can see that yeah." He responds dumbly.
" We also lost a group mate. Seen a mansion around?" Jimin asks him.
At the words of a mansion, the male pales.
" You don't mean to say you're lost travelers?- I- I thought that curse was gone." The man spoke warily.
Heeyoung, who now got up, switched wary glances with Jungkook.
" Curse?" She asked.
" Yeah, there's a curse of a mansion. Apparently the Min family lived there somewhere back in the 1800's or something, but a burglar got in and killed most of the family, apart from their twenty-something year old son. A few years ago we found bodies here, on the very place you're standing right now, they were barely alive but managed to warn us. They were the last people who came from that mansion, until you that is." He explains with wide eyes.
No one knew how to react to that.
Did this mean you're dead?
" You see whenever it storms, people turn up dead. Except for the people before you. You're the only ones to have made it out alive and well. You're the first survivors- But your friend..." He trails off.
Jimin's hand balls into a fist, as Jungkook's doe eyes widen and Heeyoung held her hand over her mouth in shock.
Did they really kill you by not listening to you?
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