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#makes me wonder what else about those books you misunderstand lol
bomberqueen17 · 2 years
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on horsehair in fibercrafting
so I’ve been pondering using horsehair ever since I read that description of the one Hallstatt tablet-woven braid that used horsehair as the weft. (Information on that here-- if you scroll you dont’ actually have to download the PDF at all)
Tablet weaving is warp-faced, meaning that all of the colors you see on the final product are the visible face of the warp-- the threads you dressed the loom with. The weft, the string the weaver has put in place to form the strings into a fabric, is only visible as loops at the edge, and occasionally peeking through if there are skip-holes in the threading pattern. You rarely see it, and I’m learning the best practice as a weaver is just to select a weft that’s similar in color to the warp at the edges, so that it’s unobtrusive where the weft turns around.
So you need very long strings for the warp, but the weft can really be anything. Anything strong, and I imagine in the time of the Hallstatt tablet’s weaving-- some of those finds are estimated to be as old as 800 BCE, which is a very long fucking time ago-- horsehair would be readily available, basically free, and perfectly strong enough for this purpose.
But it got me wondering, what else do people make from horsehair? And of course the answer is, a lot of things.
Horsehair fabric was traditionally used for upholstery, and I remember learning that as a kid and misunderstanding it-- at the museum my mom curated before I was born, I remember visiting and my mother saying that this historic chair had a horsehair cushion, and I thought it was stuffed with horsehair, like as the padding-- and I think my mother thought that too, and it’s possible it really was. but the fabric was certainly woven of horsehair. As I’m researching now, horsehair fabric traditionally had a warp of something else, often cotton or linen, and the weft was horsehair, ideal because water-resistant and hard-wearing and glossy and fairly abrasion-resistant. Again, the horsehair would not be spun-- it was sourced by cropping horses’ entire tails, which was regularly done for work horses, and then the whole tail would be brought and hairs picked by a child assistant to the weaver, and added in to the weft individually, set to overlap slightly, alternating hair directions. There’s an explainer here, from a woman who learned how to recreate it, but it’s worth mentioning there is a company in the UK who still does it commercially. (There’s an article about it but it’s requiring me to register and I’m not doing that.)
There’s also a traditional cowboy craft of making horsehair ornaments for bridles and saddles, which I could only discover is very time-intensive, and now I can’t remember what it was called or find more information about it. I’m sure it’s in the browsing history on my other computer, though.
Anyway that made me curious about making cord from horsehair, and the only thing I can find is a lot of Pinterest boards about making friendship bracelets, which is cool, but most of them are kumihimo cording, which is fine and good and not a thing I’ve ever done before but probably could pick up if I felt the need.
I wish I’d discovered this back when I had horses. I had a buckskin gelding with a wonderful mixture of browns in his mane and tail, and a Quarter Horse/Appaloosa mare who had a lot of gray and white shades. I saved a coil of the gelding’s mane when he died, but we sold the mare, and I don’t think I kept any mementoes of her. Alas!
I’m of course now remembering that one of my original novels featured a horseback culture that had a cultural tradition of braiding horse and human hair into bracelets as talismans, but I can’t talk about that with anyone because I never finished or published that book, so lolsob, wonder where that went on my hard drive.
Anyway-- this is a thing I’m now thinking about a lot, LOL.
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kpopfanfictrash · 1 year
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You know, I had to pause and go to chapter 7 and read oc’s pov to remember her perspective of the whole thing and then return to this extra scene because, as in real life, his perspective was so clear and “believable/convincing” that I just had to remind myself what she experienced even though I reread chapter 7 just last week in preparation for this. It comes down to how well of a job you do in describing the ambiguousness of communication and situations and real life. I’ve said this before but I adore Jungkook even more the more I read his pov, I guess because it really opens him up to the readers. And for us, like in the story, his real self is a whole lot more deep and emotional than he lets people see from the outside. In a way, we have truly followed the same progression as oc in getting close to him. If this was published as a book it would be one of my 5 star reads that I would return to (just like I already do). Mostly because it makes me feel so much. After reading this scene I read the end where they get together and the epilogue to feel some comfort. Then I read the chapters in between and once again thought how well you structured the storyline with all the miscommunications and things that happened in ways it made it look like something else so both of their perspectives are so valid in how they experienced and interpreted it all, especially with their own inner voices not being the nicest and the defence mechanisms that worked hard to keep them (falsely) safe. Well perhaps safe but unhappy nevertheless. And then I found myself being excited about something and I thought, what’s happening today or this week in my life that causes this small sense of excitement deep in my chest? I couldn’t think of anything out of the ordinary and then realised it’s these characters and their story. Just the way a really good book makes you feel, you know? That’s why this is a 5 star read for me. I feel like I’m always praising you so much but that’s because I want you to really know how talented you are and how you can affect people this way through your words. Perhaps you’re already aware and that would be amazing and then you’re welcome for the reminder. You deserve all the reminders in the world of how good you are and I hope it brings you genuine happiness to write. I’ve been reading fan fiction since I don’t know, 2006? And my god, have I read some good ones. Some really fantastic ones that I still think about. The stories I have read from you have affected me the same way, especially l2h, and I know I will remember it for a long, long time. Even if I happen to forget my favourite lines or scenes, I’ll always remember how the story made me feel. So thank you, as always, for sharing your talent with us 💕
ANON. Did you decide to make me cry this morning?? I think you'd be surprised how rare it is for people to genuinely tell me how my work made them feel. Not to mention the amount of disheartening comments/messages I choose not to respond to. I am so, so happy to hear you feel the miscommunications and misunderstandings made sense and felt real. I loved your comment about the defense mechanisms that keep them safe but unhappy, and their gradual journey to let those walls down. Which is always much harder than we'd like it to be! LOL
Thank you so, so much for taking the time to send me this kind message. I will definitely look back on it in the future when I'm feeling uncertain. I hope you're having a wonderful day/night and that you stay safe + healthy!
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katelcorn · 4 months
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i wonder what the people in my ig close friends think of my daily garbage cf stories LOL especially those friends who follow me on my private twitter as well. you don't know how chronically online i am that i post every little thing that happens in my life. only the ones i don't mind sharing though, like how much i love mint chocolate icecream, or what book i'm currently reading, or how much i fucking hate some people. all very trivial stuff.
masey and uniz often tell me they read my tweets a lot. camila, too. and they all follow me on my priv tiktok as well. i post a lot of shit there, too. i'm actually surprised they're not sick of me yet. lol but i know they just wanna know what's going on in my life, too. and i appreciate the effort!
but no one really knows about my tumblr. masey used to ask but i was so embarrassed to even think she'll read my posts here. some of the things i post here are personal and deep, some secrets i can't share but i figured since everyone i follow here are all strangers, there's no shame in sharing.
it's funny how i have no problem oversharing to my friends on my private socials about the most random and nonsense things but when it comes to the things that matter, things that bother me, things that hurt me, or things that i have to keep hidden, that's where i draw the line. sure, watch my tiktoks, read my rants, view all the pictures i took for the day, but you can't read my tumblr posts. they're off limits. these are the serious stuff my friends should know about me but won't allow them to. strangers are fine though! go nuts!
one time, someone told me i don't share about myself enough. and that's the problem. it's hard to get to know me because i only choose the people i can be transparent with. which sucks you know! once i let myself to be completely vulnerable with someone and we start having misunderstandings, my first instinct is to cut them out of my life. i immediately think they didn't deserve knowing me like that so before they get to know anything else, i just completely shut them out. which i think they deserve for hurting me in the first place.
maybe i don't like sharing a piece of me with people - you know things that really matter. i don't care that people know my favorite icecream flavor, i care that they know what's happening with me when it's 3am and i have nothing better to do than hate myself or hurt myself. i care that they know how messed up i am and i care that they'd still choose to stay despite knowing that. but given the history i have with people i showed my weak side to, it's hard to risk falling out with another friend just cuz they disappointed me and i don't give out second chances. cuz once we're done, we're done. and that's why i keep everything at surface level. ask me what my favorite book is. who's my favorite disney princess. how my experience was during my first period. who's my favorite teacher in elementary. what's my favorite netflix show? i have answers to all that. but when it comes to things that actually make me me, it's hard. i keep a lot of myself hidden. a lot of myself hiding in the dark wishing there was a way to come to light without feeling like i'm being stripped naked. without the fear of people leaving once they know everything. without shame.
still, i'm happy that even though i don't share a lot, my friends don't feel the need to do the same. they all tell me what's going on in their lives. they tell me about their past, their worst mistakes, the things they're afraid of, things i care to know about them. their secrets, their nightmares, their dreams and goals and motivation in life. and i love hearing all of those. i'm grateful that they're generous to share parts of themselves that i know i wouldn't share if it were me. but i'm grateful. it feels good to know they trust me enough to tell me stuff even though i don't feel the same way about them. at this point, i don't know if i don't trust them with my life or if i just don't trust myself to keep them once they know things about me. i've always been a fault finder just so i can have a reason to leave someone when i feel i've been too honest and vulnerable. i just refuse to appear weak and helpless. it's why i've known since theories of personality days that i have a neurotic need for independence and self sufficiency. i just like looking collected and together like i have everything under control when deep down, i'm in constant state of panic and fearing i'll never be good enough.
i guess it's why i post a lot of garbage stories on my ig cfs. or why i tweet a bunch of nonsense on my priv twt. or why i post stupid tiktoks. so people wouldn't see the loneliness behind my posts. so they think i'm navigating through life alone but i'm okay. even though sometimes i'm desperate to ask for help. but it's okay. i get by. i'm good at masking and pretending everything's fine. sometimes i even feel like that's my default.
hay yun lang naman. napaisip lang ako kahapon si masey kasi kahit lagi ako tinatanga ang deep ng pinagsasabi sakin, napapa self reflect din tuloy ako haha
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bossuets · 3 years
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i know it’s been said before but no book character will literally ever be as iconic as peeta “if it weren’t for the baby” mellark. like in book 1 when he confesses to having a crush on katniss on live television, that’s strategic. he knows he won’t win the games but he can help keep katniss safe and send her home and get district 12 a victor. but in book 2 he’s like “well we’re all gonna die and there’s no stopping the games so i’m just gonna fuck shit up and make every capitol official’s life a living hell for as long as i can” and then he does. nobody is doing it like him
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dangermousie · 3 years
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Hello !
I was wondering whether you could rate and tell us of your top 5 favourite webnovels/cnovels of all time ?! (Sorry if this has already been answered lol😅)
Thank you, stay safe and have a nice day🖤
Awww, thank you and that is such a lovely ask!!!
From n1 to n5, here they are (they happen to be all danmei.)
1. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) - my n1 forever and ever.
Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.
I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)
And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.
Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.)
Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!)
Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!
2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated.
Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.
This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love.
Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)
3. Qiang Jin Jiu - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train.
In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.
This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.
As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs.
Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.
4. Wu Chang Jie - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet.
In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.
Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.
Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever.
And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.
One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on.
If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in.
There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify.
Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.
5. OK, this is hard and switches between Sha Po Lang, Heaven Official’s Blessing and The Golden Stage depending on my mood. So what the hell, I am gonna write about all of them.
Sha Po Lang - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)
Heaven Official’s Blessing (TCGF) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.
The Golden Stage - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.
I guess I didn’t write as much for the three n5 candidates as I did for 1-4 but my brain is beginning to curdle so...
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wackatoshi · 3 years
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booty call
(time-skip) sakusa kiyoomi x reader
synopsis: (a lil alcohol, n.sfw themes obvs lol but nothing explicit) booty call or butt dial? sometimes, they can be one and the same.
horrible pick up lines, msby interactions, humour, sakusa’s a smooth texter... enjoy
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When was the last time you felt the touch of another human being? Too long — which is why you’re marinating at home like a sad old sponge, deprived of affection, dousing your loneliness with a drink.
You tilt your head back, letting the last few drops trickle down your throat, fingers wrapped around the neck of a cheap wine bottle. It sends a buzz through your body, a sensation that pales in comparison to the magic of hands on hands, the warmth of someone’s skin pressed against yours.
Your bleary gaze lands on the phone — phones? you swear there’s two of them — propped on the coffee table in front of you.
Before you can think twice, you’re reaching out for it, fingers tapping through your passcode in a blurred hurry.
Before you can think twice, you’re texting your designated booty call.
At least, you think you are.
+
Sakusa Kiyoomi’s spending a casual night in with his teammates. He’s sitting on Atsumu’s couch, leafing through a book, when someone’s phone starts to ping with a ricochet of notifications. For the most part, he ignores it (because it’s half-past-nine, so it certainly can’t be his), until Atsumu glides over to the counter to have a peek.
“Oi,” he calls, a brow hiking up his face. “Omi. Someone’s messaging you.”
Sakusa furrows his brows in disbelief. Instantly, another six deafening dings burst through, making his phone jolt on the counter like it’s been shocked.
Atsumu drops his head to peer down at the messages. All of a sudden, his face breaks out into a devilish smirk, triggering all of Sakusa’s fight or flight instincts. He abandons the book, leaps to his feet and snatches the phone from the table.
He takes a single glance, and immediately blanches. His notifications are polluted with a string of raunchy messages, all from an unknown number. Even as he’s punching in the passcode, they keep coming, one after the other, an inundation of thirsty pleas clogging up his phone.
Frantically, he pulls up the chat and skims up to the top of the twelve new messages, each text horrifying him more than the last.
YOU: hey boo 👻
YOU: hiiiiiii
YOU: ☺️☺️☺️ feelin some typa way....you down...? it’s me. going
YOU: timber
What the hell. Sakusa scrolls on, in spite of himself.
YOU: where r u
YOU: i wanna [redacted] your [redacted] until u [redacted] ☺️☺️☺️ wkieowkskwiwk yes i do ahohga
YOU: rearrange my Guts like a scrabble board. desecrate my temple. plunder my down UNDER
YOU: please
He attempts to form a response, but your messages are incessant.
YOU: call me galileo coz im gonna make u see stars tonight 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
YOU: name one thing wetter than the ocean
YOU: ;)
His face starts to burn. He’s not sure if it’s out of sheer embarrassment for your sake or something else entirely. He brushes the latter possibility away, because that would be absurd, he doesn’t even know what you look—
YOU: (Attachment)
Oh.
Okay, well, the face certainly doesn’t match the messages. He hates that his knee-jerk reaction is that you’re cute, even if the photo’s a blurry selfie bedazzled by a glittery Snapchat filter. Squinted eyes, puckered lips, adorable cheeks. He wonders, for a second, if you’re being catfished, until—
YOU: (Video Attachment)
And there you are, in all your ratty boxer-shorts-and-tee-shirt glory, making sweet love to your dispassionate carpet. Sakusa stares in abject horror. God, you must be completely off your face to be compelled to send something like this. He can just make out the faint sound of Nicki Minaj in the background, spitting a volley of encouraging rap verses while you flop around on the floor like a freshly-caught salmon.
If there’s anything impressive, he thinks, dryly, it’s your lack of shame.
“Oh?”
A voice beside his ear. One syllable, saturated in a knowing lilt.
With a start, Sakusa quickly switches his phone off, which only makes the whole situation look a hell of a lot more suspicious than it really is.
Atsumu, hovering close over Sakusa’s shoulder, can barely suppress his glee.
A tense moment passes between them. Sakusa stares him down, while his mind races, frantically searching for a way to disarm this ticking time bomb of a misunderstanding before it detonates into chaos.
Sakusa takes a deep breath.
“Don’t—”
“Sakusa’s got a booty call!”
Stunned silence descends upon the room. Heads turn, all movements frozen, and Sakusa can almost hear the rest of his team’s collective five-and-a-half brain cells lagging as they process the news. Before he can react, they’re all swarming around him like bees, buzzing with probing questions and teasing jibes.
“Who?” Bokuto demands, his eyes wide as an owl. “Who?”
Hinata’s over the moon.
“Congratulations!” he gushes, so sincerely Sakusa almost catches himself feeling bad. “I’m so happy for you! We all knew someone would come around, eventually!”
Sakusa frowns. “What do you mean—”
“Wait, really!” Inunaki exclaims, bounding over. “Show me!”
“Dude,” Atsumu laughs. “Do you even know what a booty call is?”
“Booty call?” he asks, his face crumpling with disappointment. “I thought you said beauty haul.”
“Enough,” Sakusa snaps, mildly panicking because his phone is vibrating yet again, much to everyone’s intrigue. “It’s not a booty call. Someone’s just got the wrong number.”
“Sure,” Atsumu sings. “Omi’s got a lover.”
“I don’t,” he bites again, and swats the wandering eyes away before checking the latest string of texts.
YOU: ;)))))((((()((((
YOU: coming? ha
YOU: get it
Sakusa starts typing his message.
SAKUSA: you’ve got the wrong number.
A pause. He hopes this is the end of it, until those three terrifying little dots bounce up on the bottom of his screen once again.
YOU: lmaoooo what
YOU: stop playiniwijek277383$:893&!:$3898 o nwmmaj
YOU: that was my butt btw
He scowls.
SAKUSA: you’re texting the wrong person...I don’t even know who you are.
You start to type again.
YOU: ...
YOU: ok thanos 😓
The easy solution would be to block you. But for some convoluted reason, Sakusa is not interested in easy tonight. 
SAKUSA: who are you??
YOU: (Liked Your Message)
YOU: i askjj myself the same think every day :&&’l
SAKUSA: I think you should go to sleep
YOU: without me? ;)))
He doesn’t even bother to point out your blunder. You’ve already made enough of a fool out of yourself in front of him, anyway.
SAKUSA: please stop
YOU: fine :(
YOU: ...
YOU: WAIT A SEXOND
Sakusa waits.
(And waits.
And waits some more.)
A second passes, a minute passes, but the chat stays silent. And even though there’s not single peep from you or his phone for the remainder of the evening, Sakusa, for reasons far beyond him, keeps checking.
+
The next morning, you are nursing a terrible hangover.
A pounding headache behind your eyes, a discomfort over your hipbones — you shift the fabric of your shorts down and see a blossoming bruise on either side of your hips. Huh, did you actually end up getting some, only to forget the entire shebang?
Groggily, you reach across for your phone and open up your messages. One new text.
UNKNOWN: you there?
With a frown, you scroll up the conversation. As your hazy mind works to translate the text to words, the words to understanding, you almost scream with horror.
The picture. The video. The memories come flooding back to you. It plays for a fleeting second, and you catch all but a glimpse of your limp body smacking down on the floor with relentless force, before quickly scrolling away. But the harm is done, your mind is scarred.
Well, at least that explains the bruises.
Somehow, it only manages to get worse.
YOU: kiss
YOU: 💋*
YOU: soz typo
YOU: let’s make music coz i got a set of congas that go RATATATATATA
YOU: you must be poseidon because MY—
You stop there, pinching the bridge of your nose to allay the wave of humiliation drowning your dignity. The poor person on the other end. Their horrified responses are probably going to be branded into your mind forevermore.
Maybe you should just sweep this whole encounter under the rug.
Or maybe, you think, as your fingers tentatively start to type out a text, you should apologise.
YOU: hi. it’s me again. you were right, I had the wrong number. I’m so sorry
You’re about to launch your phone into the sun when it dings back with a response.
UNKNOWN: yeah, you’re good. not at flirting though
Oh? Your fingers fly across the screen before you can think.
YOU: really? but I kept you intrigued, didn’t I?
UNKNOWN: like a child at a circus
YOU: damn what kind of circus u taking ur kids to?
UNKNOWN: idk, the kind where people make complete clowns of themselves i guess
You swallow down a laugh.
UNKNOWN: what happened to you last night anyway? did you just pass out?
YOU: i did <3 thanks for ur concern
UNKNOWN: lol
UNKNOWN: the price you pay for a free show
YOU: shut up omg
UNKNOWN: can’t lie, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look at a floor so lovingly before
Oh, they’re teasing. You fight off a smile from working its way across your face.
YOU: very funny. now can I just trust that u will delete all trace of this train-wreck from ur phone 🥺
UNKNOWN: of course.
YOU: if I see it going around...
UNKNOWN: I think if people wanted to see an earthworm so badly they’d just go outside
YOU: SHUT UP
UNKNOWN: :)
Shoot. Why are you blushing over a smiley face at ten o’clock in the morning? This is absurd. You need a coffee, stat.
YOU: sadly I can’t reverse the damage, but would a coffee suffice?
There’s a long delay, and you start to panic.
YOU: or I could just venmo the $ to you. either works!
UNKNOWN: are you asking me if I want to get coffee with you? when you don’t even know my name?
YOU: names are irrelevant now. u have seen too much :/
UNKNOWN: maybe, but not all.
Your face flushes. You pause, fingers hovering over the keys for a moment, contemplating a smooth riposte.
UNKNOWN: sorry I’m walking, can’t text
A wave of disappointment slumps over you.
UNKNOWN: facetime?
Okay.
Okay okay okay okay okay okay.
You start to pace around your room, all too aware that you are still in pyjamas, your hair looks like a birds’ nest, and your voice sounds like you swallowed a brick the night before. It’s a disaster.
But so was last night, and yet this stranger still seems to be friendly.
YOU: sure
Your phone starts to vibrate, an unknown caller ID flashing across the screen. For a moment, you consider cancelling and blocking the number altogether, but the desire to put a face to the mystery behind the messages gets the better of you.
You accept the call.
His face pops into view — a masked man with black curls falling over his face like wisps of ivy, eyes dark as night, and two moles above his right brow, like the beginnings of a constellation. He raises a hand to shift down his mask.
“Hey.”
You hitch a breath. This man looks like he could be a reincarnation of Adonis, sent into the world as evidence that all those legendary gods really did exist once upon a time, and that some of them looked like this.
“Hi,” you reply, reverent.
He’s so cool, so collected. He brushes a few locks of hair from his face — a casual move that sends your heart skipping beats faster than you skip songs.
“I’m Sakusa.”
“Hi, Sakusa,” you breathe.
His lips twitch, almost imperceptibly.
He looks so familiar, but you can’t quite figure it out between your splitting headache and the way his gaze keeps flickering from you back to wherever he’s walking. Actor? No, surely you’d remember. Singer? That would be plain unfair. Model? You wouldn’t put it past—
“So,” he starts, wryly. “About that coffee.”
“Yes,” you rush to agree. “Coffee. It’s very good. Do you? Coffee?”
He laughs, shortly.
“You’re not drunk again, are you?”
“No.” You feel it, though, what with this man’s voice bearing a timbre that is downright intoxicating. But one long look at those coffee-coloured eyes would be enough to keep you up all night. 
So you let him talk — he’s just like his texts, terse and concise, but isn’t brevity the soul of wit? He keeps you on your toes, with a dead-panned quip here and there, eliciting laughter out of your awful hangover. It turns out that you’re not even that far away from each other at all, a train station or two at most, which is some stroke of sheer luck. Sakusa starts to tell you about his favourite little hole-in-the-wall coffee shop that nobody seems to have discovered yet. 
“A coffee snob?” you tease.
He studies you, through the screen, and you almost feel the weight of his gaze as if he were right in front of you. He smiles, softly.
“I prefer to keep a low profile.”
And just before you hang up, with the details of a coffee shop date still fresh in your mind, you have the sense to ask for his full name.
“Kiyoomi,” he supplies. “Sakusa Kiyoomi.”
Rings a bell, doesn’t it? But when you tell him yours, he repeats it, and all you can think about is how your name has never sounded so wonderful before.
It’s not until you hang up, his name echoing in your memory, that you run a Google search for this man. Thousands of results. A plethora of pictures, teeming with irrefutable evidence of his good looks. 
And oh, God.
You lift your gaze from your phone to stare at your closet door, where your brand spanking new work uniform hangs off the hook, bearing the emblem of a gold-trim eagle that blinks back at you, eyes narrowed as if to say—
What the hell have you just done?
608 notes · View notes
nessinborderland · 3 years
Text
Sleepless Nights
Pairing: Cobra x Reader
Genre: Romance/Fluff
Word Count: 2.2k
Summary: Cobra never thought he deserved much in life. All he ever wanted was for his friends to be close and his home to be safe. He fought for it with all he had, but that was it. It almost felt like he was pushing his luck if he asked for much more than that. So he never did. Until you showed up.
Warnings: Smut, Light Angst, Miscommunication, Cobra thinks he's unworthy of love
Notes: This is officially my first High&Low fanfic! Not sure how to feel about it, but I kinda like it. More to come for sure. Tysm to everyone that has been enthusiastic about my passion for H&L lol, love y’all!
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Cobra never thought he deserved much in life. All he ever wanted was for his friends to be close and his home to be safe. He fought for it with all he had, but that was it. It almost felt like he was pushing his luck if he asked for much more than that.
So he never did.
Until you showed up. 
It was like the sun itself had entered the diner the first time he met you. You had introduced yourself as Naomi's friend from abroad, and the ease and happiness you radiated almost made him want to greet you with a smile. And then your eyes locked and you grinned at him, and his heart skipped a beat. That's when he started falling for you.
Not that he realized it at that moment.
It took him months of watching you smile and laugh with everyone around him to realize that the butterflies in his stomach meant he was attracted to you, and that the spark of annoyance he felt when he watched a guy speak to you was jealousy. He thought it was only sexual at first, but he soon realized that it was much more than that.
He was taken aback at the realization; it made no sense to him.
You barely spoke to one another. He was sure that you didn't even particularly like him if the way you acted around him was any indicator. You caught him staring once, and the only thing you did was turn your back to him and continue laughing at something Dan said. 
That hurt him more than he cared to admit.
So he tried to bury his feelings for you. Not that anyone would notice any changes in him. He mostly kept to his corner, reading a book or talking with the guys, as quiet and stoic as ever. You being there didn't change that.
Except that he couldn't stop his eyes from wandering to you, or his attention from focusing on you every time he heard you laugh. 
"When are you gonna tell her?" Noboru interrupted his thoughts with a nudge to his shoulder. 
That's when Cobra noticed that the book he was reading had been forgotten in his lap, his eyes now on you as you played darts with Tetsu and Dan. You were smiling at them like he wished you would smile at him. He felt his ears get warm at being caught, shrugging before going back to his book.
"I don't know what you're talking about," was all he said as he pretended to keep reading.
"You can fool everyone else, but I see the way you look at her," Noboru proceeded, almost making him curse his best friend's perceptiveness, "You're not as discreet as you think you are, you know?"
Cobra took a deep breath before closing the book and making a move to stand up. He wasn't in the mood to discuss his crush or to lie to his friend.
"I'm gonna go–"
"She likes you too," those words made him stop in his tracks, before looking back at Noboru. The man was looking at you with a teasing smile pulling at the corner of his lips, "Aren't you curious to know how I know that?"
Cobra glanced at you once more before going back to his seat, arms crossed as he waited for his friend to talk.
"So, I heard Naomi and her talking about you in the kitchen the other day," Noboru started, "She thinks you don't like her because you keep avoiding her, but she definitely has a crush on you."
"Are you sure?" was all Cobra was capable of asking.
"Absolutely," his friend nodded with a chuckle, "She likes your moody ass, for whatever reason."
Cobra gulped as he thought of what you having a crush on him implied. Did that mean that he now had to talk to you about it? Did that mean that you would say yes if he asked you out? What would that even entail? His encounters with women were merely ways for him to relieve stress, nothing romantic about it.
He had no idea of what to do.
So he did the opposite of what he normally did; he ran away.
"Hmm," he grunted in final acknowledgment of his friend's words before standing up, determined to leave the diner as fast as he could, "I'm leaving. There's something I need to do."
He cringed at his own lie, ignoring Noboru's calling and everyone's stare – your stare – on him as he left into the rainy night outside. 
He liked the night. He liked the rain. It allowed him to think in peace as he made his way home, mad at himself. He was a coward, nothing but a sad man undeserving of love. He didn't even know you. He knew nothing about you, and you knew nothing about him.
So why did he care so much? Why did it hearing that you liked him filled his heart with hope?
His phone ringing made him stop under the rain, checking who it was before pressing the red button. He would find a more convincing excuse for Noboru tomorrow. His phone rang again, and again, making him sigh before finally picking up the call.
"Noboru I–"
"C-Cobra?" that was not his friend. He held his breath as he recognized your voice on the other side, "Cobra, are you okay?"
"Why are you calling me?" he didn't mean for his words to sound so harsh, but hearing the worry in your voice made him act defensive – like you had no business having any feelings towards him. He regretted it almost instantly.
"I- I'm sorry," you said before he had the chance to say anything else, "I just noticed you left in a hurry, and Noboru said that I should try and talk to you so… are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he said, "I just had to leave."
"Okay," there was an awkward pause where neither of you said anything. He opened his mouth to finally say something when you said, "Can I- Can I have your number?"
"My number?" he asked, confused.
"Only if you want to!" you rushed to say. That's when he noticed the anxiety in your voice. Was he making you nervous? "You don't have to. But, you know, if you want to talk… I can talk."
He was in bed hours later after speaking with you on the phone. He hadn't been willing to say much else besides letting you have his number, and he regretted it now. He couldn't sleep, too restless to even lay still. It just wouldn't happen for him; not tonight. His head was full of thoughts of you and what-ifs.
What if this was all a misunderstanding?
What if you actually liked him?
What if he couldn't protect you?
What if he hurt you?
What if, what if, what if.
His phone buzzing broke him out of overthinking. He reached for his phone, his heart skipping a beat as he saw a message from an unknown number.
Is this Cobra?
Y/N?
Yes! How're you feeling?
fine. it's 3 AM
Omg, I'm so sorry! Were you asleep?
nah. can't sleep. u? 
Can't either.
He didn't know how to keep the conversation going. Did he even want to? His phone buzzed with a new message before he could think too much about it.
Can I ask you something?
sure
Are you mad at me?
no. why do u ask?
I'm not sure, it just seems that I made you uncomfortable and I would like to apologize if I ever did something to you.
u didn't do anything. i'm just not really the approachable type 
Ahh that makes me more relaxed xD can we start over then? Friends?
Friends. Friends. You wanted to be friends. That was fine by him. He wouldn't mind being friends with you.
do u like me?
are u passing by the diner tomorrow?
I am! Wanna have lunch together? :)
sounds good
See ya tomorrow then! Goodnight <3
A heart emoji. Didn't those mean something? What did it mean? What did any of this mean? He reread your convo one, two, three times, now with one hundred percent certainty that you had asked him out for lunch.
He definitely couldn't fall asleep after that.
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He rarely ever felt as nervous as he was then, entering Itokan to be greeted by your smile. He joined you at the table, happy that it was only you two and a few other patrons that barely paid him any mind.
Except for Naomi, that sent him a knowing smile as she got your lunch orders.
"Got some sleep last night?" it was the first thing you asked him as you sat across from each other. He nodded, even though it was a complete lie, and asked you the same, "Not really," you laughed, "Had a lot on my mind."
He hummed, wondering if you were as nervous as he was to meet. If what Noboru said was true, that was definitely a possibility, wasn't it? 
You didn't look nervous at all, though. Not to him, at least. You laughed and smiled and talked like he was the most interesting company on earth, even though he barely said a thing. 
It felt comfortable, though. It felt right.
"You have a really pretty smile, you know?" your statement caught him off guard, and that's when he realized that he was full-on smiling at something you were saying. He felt his ears get red immediately, unsure if he should just accept the compliment or try to figure out what you meant by it.
"Thanks?" he said, unsure, "You're pretty too," he decided to add in a hurry, blushing all over his face at realizing what he had said. Was he ever this awkward? His gang would laugh in his face if they saw him right now.
"Thanks," you said with a laugh. Your reaction made him relax almost instantly, and you were soon back to talking and enjoying your food together.
He had to admit, he could get used to this.
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You kissed him first.
You had invited him to your home one night when neither of you could sleep. He didn't think much of it; it wasn't the first time you spent time together, just talking.
But that night was different.
It was just a push of your lips against his, but he wanted more. So he did what he had wanted to do for months and pulled your face closer, consuming your mouth with his. You moaned as he kissed you, pressing your body closer to his, making him feel like he was on fire.
It was intoxicating.
"Bedroom?" you asked once your lips parted for breath. He quickly nodded as he went back to kissing you, now with a newfound passion. 
He couldn't stop himself from kissing down your body as soon as he got you naked, wanting to taste you, to be consumed by your essence. And you let him do it like he hoped you would, moaning his name exactly like you did in his dreams when he was lonely and all he had was his hand and fantasies of you.
But you felt nothing like you did in his dreams. His hand could never compare to the warm tightness of your cunt around him, or how your body shivered and trembled at every thrust of his hips against yours.
"Please don't stop," your begging was music to his ears, "Please, I'm so close."
He did just what you desired.
He didn't stop until you came one, two, three times, cunt clenching around his cock and his name on your lips. He was almost blind from pleasure, wanting to finish but too afraid to do so. Your relationship wouldn't be the same after this, and it scared him.
He thought he passed out when he finally came, moaning and shaking as you held him in your arms. 
"Can I tell you something?" you whispered after you were both exhausted and sore, more than ready for sleep to take you. 
He grunted a yes, burying his face in your hair; he didn't want to face you when you told him you regretted this. You took a deep breath and hugged him closer, pressing your face against his chest.
"I think I'm in love with you."
He froze. He knew that was a possibility. He knew you liked him. He just never expected you to tell him that you loved him. That was… a lot. A lot of things he wasn't sure how to process.
"Are you sure?..." he settled for asking. He needed for you to be sure.
"Y-Yes I'm sure," you rushed to say, looking up at him, "I really like you."
All he could think of doing was kissing you. That was the only thing on his mind at that moment; showing you how he felt without using words he had no idea how to use. You kissed him back just as hard until you were both out of breath.
"Does this mean you like me too?" you whispered against his lips, foreheads pressed together. You giggled when he pecked your lips, hugging you closer.
"Yeah," he said, cheeks hurting from how hard he was smiling, "I like you a lot."
185 notes · View notes
trellanyx · 3 years
Text
Dark!Stolas AU
I started to send a prompt to @vizowrites​ after reading the latest installment of her Dark!Stolas AU, then realized I wanted to write it instead. lol This is meant to be a direct sequel to Where You Belong. Thanks for letting me play in the sandbox for a bit bb!
Fic Warnings: This is an AU where Blitzo does not want to have sex with Stolas, and only does so in order to have continued access to the grimoire. Stolas has no qualms about using this leverage to keep Blitzo in line, or ignoring Blitzo’s boundaries. Nothing sexual happens in this fic, but if you don’t like reading fics based off this premise, this isn’t for you. Like the title says, Stolas is not a good person here.
“And you,” Stolas said, his gaze flashing back to Striker with a near break-neck speed, flashing in a surge of barely contained power that still seemed to simmer just beneath the surface. “While I admire that terribly forceful nature of yours, I highly suggest that you remember just to whom you are speaking. And just to whom you owe your continued opportunities that keep your schedules oh so busy. Which reminds me, darling Blitzy….bring the book with you to our next meeting.”
“Blitzy! There you are, darling.”
Regrettably, Blitzo thought. He placed the book on its usual place on the nightstand and shucked off his coat. Stolas loved it when his favorite toy showed such ‘enthusiasm’, not noticing, or perhaps not caring, that Blitzo’s only motivation was to get the night over with as quickly as possible.
He didn’t know which option was worse.
“Look, can we skip the roleplay tonight? My back has been bitching at me all day.”
Stolas giggled. “Ah yes. Isn’t that post-coital ache just delightful? I know my best mornings always happen when I can’t walk straight.”
Blitzo rolled his eyes. In the beginning, he’d respond to comments like that with something along the lines of, “I hear a good ass whooping produces the same result”, but Stolas always interpreted those retorts as encouragement, and Blitzo eventually stopped bothering. He nodded to where Stolas was decadently sprawled along a twilight-violet chaise. “That the spot you’ve decided on?”
“As thrilling as it is to be the center of such undivided attention,” purred Stolas, “I’d actually prefer we take things slower tonight. It feels like ages since we’ve had the chance to simply…talk.” Stolas’s eyes gleamed scarlet, all four of them pinned directly on Blitzo. “Given both of our busy schedules, after all.”
Blitzo stiffened, feeling his stomach shrivel with a sudden chill of terror.
“Stolas--”
“Sit, please,” said the prince, waving a hand at a matching armchair Blitzo knew hadn’t been there a moment ago. “I’m as eager to receive your glorious cock as you are to give it to me, but another need must be satisfied first.”
The words tumbled out of Blitzo so quickly they nearly slurred together. “If this is about what happened at the office, I swear--”
“I said sit.”
Blitzo’s jaw snapped shut with an audible click. He power-walked to the chair, unwilling to risk finding out what Stolas might do if he thought Blitzo was taking too long. But Stolas only giggled again, as if seeing Blitzo so flustered was cute.
“Though since you bring it up, I would like to discuss what happened when I last tried to visit you. I fear there may be some…misunderstanding among your employees about just what our relationship is like, Blitzy.”
“We don’t have a relationship, Stolas,” snapped Blitzo. “We have an arrangement. I fuck you, you don’t fuck over my business. Cut and fucking dry.”
Stolas clucked his tongue. “Blitzy, we are lovers. You could at least try to put in a little romantic effort outside the bedroom.”
Blitzo bared his teeth. “I’m plenty romantic,” he said, in a moment of reckless defiance. “Just not with you.”
Stolas blinked, and Blitzo nearly bit through his own tongue. He did not, however, take back the words. He was engaged now, for fuck’s sake. And the memory of his fiancé almost spitting in the eyes of demon royalty was enough to give Blitzo just enough courage to wipe out his remaining fucks.
You wanna talk, bitch? Fine. Let’s talk.
Stolas tapped a claw against his thigh. “Are you now?” he asked, terribly soft. Blitzo opened his mouth to snarl back, but it hung open when Stolas suddenly beamed and said, “Why Blitzy, that’s wonderful!”
“….It is?”
“Of course!” trilled Stolas. “I’m so happy to hear there are other paramours in your life! Not surprised, of course, my dear little imp. Who could possibly resist such a beautiful and wickedly talented creature like yourself?” He laughed gaily. “I wondered why that fiery little fellow seemed so testy last we met. Jealousy, hm?” Stolas gave a sage little hoot. “I understand, Blitzy. Love makes fools of us all.”
Blitzo couldn’t help but laugh incredulously. “Striker, jealous of you? Listen bitch--”
“Blitzy, darling, it’s alright,” Stolas soothed. “I understand.”
Blitzo raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Do ya now?
“It’s not the first time I’ve been threatened over our little courtship,” said Stolas, still smiling. “At least he didn’t throw something at me! Poor Seymour,” he sighed. “Two centuries of care, gone in a blink and a crash. Fortunately my reflexes are better than my wife’s aim!”
“…Am I on drugs?” Blitzo wondered. “Is Verosika about to pop out with a horse head or somethin’? ‘Cause I’m not gonna lie, that’d actually be a pretty sweet upgrade for her.”
“Silly imp,” giggled Stolas. “Well! Now that that little bit of unpleasantness has been cleared up, I say we move on to more enjoyable activities. How about some refreshments before we start?”
Blitzo withheld a groan. Feeding each other was one of Stolas’s favorite forms of foreplay. He’d constantly nip at or suck on Blitzo’s fingers, to say nothing of how often he’d pretend to feed Blitzo a strawberry or something before replacing it with his mouth at the last second. But if it got Stolas to stop asking questions about his and Striker’s relationship, Blitzo was up for anything.
“Just no strawberries, okay? Last time they made me break out in hives.”
“Alas, tonight I’m simply thirsty.” Stolas pulled a silver bell from his robe and gave it a dainty ring. Then he winked at Blitzo and added, “Of course, that’s always my mood when you’re on my mind.”
A servant imp appeared almost instantaneously, carrying a tray with two shimmering glasses of wine.
“I really do feel much better now,” said Stolas, taking his glass.
“Good for you,” deadpanned Blitzo as the servant turned his way. “Now can we get on with--”
CRASH!
“FUCK!” Blitzo scrambled backward, tripping over the arm of the chair and falling onto the floor. His claws scratched the tile as he scooted backwards on his ass, away from the servant who was now a solid block of stone. Blitzo’s wineglass was shattered on the ground. Why…why did it look like the exact shade of blood?
Stolas took a long, indulgent sip of his own wine. “Wiggles, this is Blitzy. Blitzy, Wiggles.”
“Stolas, what the fuck?!”
“Wiggles hasn’t been with me as long as Seymour was,” Stolas continued, not needing to raise his voice to talk over Blitzo’s panicked yelling. “I daresay Wiggles isn’t even his name, but that’s neither here nor there.”
The prince unfolded his unnaturally long legs and walked around the statue of Wiggles. “He’s a good servant, as far as imps go. Obedient, polite, deferential…he knows his place in the world and is content with it. Like Seymour was.” Stolas placed a hand on the top of Wiggles’s stone head. “And like Seymour…”
Blitzo realized what was coming a split second too late. “DON’T--!”
Stolas lightly pushed, and Wiggles fell forward. There was a sick crack when the statue hit the ground, and Blitzo watched in horror as Wiggles’s now detached head lay face-first in the puddle of wine. Stolas waved his hand, and the rest of the body crumbled into dust and rubble.
“Gone in a blink and a crash,” finished Stolas.
There was no flirting or good-natured silliness to Stolas now. He stared down at Blitzo with cold disappointment. Blitzo barely dared to breathe, let alone move.
“Let’s not forget what our actual roles are, my precious little imp,” murmured Stolas. “You are exceedingly good at what you can do with your body, and because of that, I allow your little family venture to succeed. Every time you rendezvous with the world above, you pay your way with my magic. Your daughter sleeps under a roof built from my generosity. Your lover fucks you in a bed gifted by my mercy. I could rip everything away from you, Blitzo. Everything you’ve ever touched. I wouldn’t even have to leave this room.”
Stolas knelt down, ignoring the way Blitzo flinched back. “But I don’t do that, darling. Because I love you. You’ve brought excitement and joy back into my world the likes of which I haven’t felt since my daughter was born. Of all my collections and all of my toys, you are my favorite.”
A crimson glow slowly bled into existence until it outlined Stolas’s entire body. Blitzo couldn’t look away from him, and wasn’t entirely sure that Stolas wasn’t making that possible. The air seemed to constrict around him, making his temples pound and his nose bleed.
“What you do with your time is your own business, Blitzo. But when I call on you, full moon or not, I expect you to answer,” whispered Stolas. The use of Blitzo’s full name stung him like a brand. “When I ask for privacy, I expect to not be interrupted. Above all, I expect you to make sure your associates know their place around us – and mind it. Do you understand?”
Blitzo jerked his head in as much of a nod as he could manage.
“They may hiss and spit all they like, but they will stay out of our way. Else I will remove them myself, and I will make you watch. Do you understand?”
Another nod.
“Say it, Blitzy.”
“…I understand,” said Blitzo through gritted teeth. The moment he did, the air returned to normal, leaving Blitzo gasping for air like a drowning man. Stolas finished his wine, and looked out the balcony window behind Blitzo.
“Ah! And there’s the moon. What a beautiful sight – not as lovely as you, of course.” Stolas cupped Blitzo’s cheek, looking at him with a familiar expression of lust. “Come darling,” he purred. “The night is still young, after all.”
21 notes · View notes
break-slash · 3 years
Text
Puzzleship JP & KR Fancomic Recommendation List
UPDATE (19-12-2020): Added two more artists and two more titles on the Japanese lists!
I don’t consider myself as someone very tidy and organized, but I just like making lists of the things I love, somehow. Hence this post. I haven’t been in the fandom for long but I thought I’d share some of my favorites primarily from two sites: pixiv and postype. Most of the postype ones are behind paywall, and I will mark them differently.
Some of my favorites come from the same artists, so I’ll also link their pixiv profile on top of my favorite work of them.
(I actually bookmarked a lot and picking them isn’t an easy task, so I will update this step by step. If you see only a link of an artist, that’s the reason, but I can guarantee you will love their works! Feel free to recommend me yours through reblogs or DM as well!)
Japanese
Artist: CYHGM
She is a Chinese and is more active on Weibo (she posted tons of puzzleship there, but my Mandarin is beyond rusty so I could only cry in despair lmao), but she has two fancomics that I absolutely adore of. Those two mentioned fancomics are:
The Past and The Future. You can check my translation for this one here. It tells about Atem who gets transported to 3000 years later before his coronation, and that’s where he met post-canon!Yugi. Just... everything about this comic is so wonderful. I teared up at the last page, not gonna lie ;_;
The Pharaoh and The Fairy: An Ancient Egypt-slash-fantasy AU featuring the S0/TOEI casts. The fairy Yugi was saved by Atem, and it’s an obligatory for fairies to grant their savior’s wishes. However, Atem doesn’t exactly have something he wants of, and this confuses Yugi on how he should repay him back. Pure undiluted sugar, and fairy!Yugi is just so cute.
Artist: Fushitas
Arguably one of the most popular Puzzleship fanartists in the JP fandom (look at their number of followers on Twitter, man), but maybe it’s also due to the fact they were in AoT fandom too. They’re mostly active on Twitter, and if you also watch Zexal, they draw tons of Yuma-centric pairings too. They have released lots of books, and their prices on the reseller sites are... well, let’s just say, unbelievable. Just to show how famous they are. 
From everlasting to everlasting: Set after DSOD. A mysterious figure appears in front of Atem, claiming to be his queen. Everyone in the after life somehow acknowledges this person, which makes him even more confused because he’s the only one unaware of this. On the living realm, Yugi who is on the way to his home got hit by a truck (isekai much??) and when he woke up, he suddenly plays the role of Atem’s queen. I’ve always adored Fushitas’ drawing, and this is no exception. The story is pretty simple, but is still good! The ending of this comic is everything I’ve always wanted from the canon lol. 
The King’s Guest: Ancient Egypt AU. The councils are starting to get worried because Atem shows no interest in marrying someone, so Shimon opens up a “chance” sort of for civilians to become “someone for the Pharaoh to talk with”. The civilian Yugi takes this chance right off the bat, and stuff happens? This one is just so sweet and the misunderstanding later in the story kinda cracks me up. I really love the way they build the two’s chemistry in here.
Artist: usi 
They only draw two puzzleship fancomics, but both are so good and explores the themes I’ve loved from the pairing.
The Lotus’ Devil: Set post-canon with a flashback. It tells about Yugi’s regret in the past where he wanted to show Atem a small pool supposed to be full of lotus flower only to arrive seeing them not blooming. Fast forward to the post-canon, he found out that there’s actually a monster residing on that pool. I really, really loved the ending scene of this one.
Who’s The Detestable, Fortunate Guy Here: I think this is set sometime in the canon story, although the exact timing is unclear. It’s a short comic of Yugi asking Atem to pretend to be his date and go on a “dating practice”. A very pleasant hurt-and-comfort kind of story, and who doesn’t love a story of them dating anyways? :”D
Artist: Houzuki Anzu
She doesn’t draw much YGO, but she has some Arc-V and 5D’s fanarts too if you watch the series! 
Hourglass: Sets after the Memory World arc. Yugi keeps hearing a strange sound inside his mind, and he finds out there’s a huge hourglass standing there, guarded by the will of Millenium Puzzle. Apparently, the hourglass is linked to Atem’s remaining time in the living realm? Anyways, the ending of this comic might look like a cliffhanger, but I personally think it isn’t. I love the theme this comic picks to explore and the way it is presented.
Present: Same setting with Hourglass, but this one focuses more on Atem sorting out his feelings about the Ceremonial Duel and what he has learned from Yugi in general. It’s a very nice extra detail that the canon slightly lacks of, and I just love... bittersweet stuff in general haha.
Artist: Chiriko
Are you the type who wants puzzleship to be full of happiness and fluff and nothing else? Well, she has a number of comics to fill that need! I actually love all of her works, but if I have to pick, these two are my favorite:
...Don’t Ever Leave Me Again: A short story about Yugi having a nightmare of where he was stuck in the fire accident at Otogi’s store. Well... this isn’t a fluff sort of, but it’s... a happy ending still? /shot
[Untitled]: A dialogue-less comic, but this is the sort of post-canon what-if that I really, really like. Atem stroking Yugi’s face while sleeping is just... so soft man....
Artist: Komori Nea
Their art style was one of those that’s very noticeable and has a certain charm on it. They are pretty active on Twitter, and even draws puzzle comics once in a while that haven’t been uploaded to pixiv (which is why I recommend you to check their twitter gallery too haha)
The Soul Stays Awake: Post!DSOD. Atem comes back from afterlife in hoping that Yugi would be as happy as he is, but months after, Atem’s existence still hasn’t been registered on Yugi’s life just yet. Another post!DSOD take that I like which involves the fear of another farewell and uncertainty, but this is a good hurt-and-comfort. I swear, it’ll hurt you just... for a while. :”)
The Attack’s Aim: Set during the canon series. A short comic mostly portraying Yugi’s hidden strength but also the tenacity of duelist that is not only targeted toward the opponent, but also to Atem, without the person actually noticing it. The last page of this one is so... soft and gentle I had to put it into this list.
Artist: caf
Often draw with S0/TOEI style, characters and characterization in mind. Their coloring in illustrations is so soft, plus artists who specialize in S0/TOEI style can’t be found so easily. Their comic style is not a manga-like one and they write the dialogues with handwriting, but if you can read hiragana and write and understand how kanji works (so you can write it on translation machine), their comics are easy to understand!
magenta: S0/TOEI AU where Yugi and Atem are two separate person. A short comic of Yugi lying under the rain as Atem searches for his whereabouts. I really love the way they portray the rain and the atmosphere surrounding the scene. Or maybe I’m just biased with rains in general, ahahaha.
Yuugi and Mao’s Stay Home: Same AU as above. Our two boys has to face the same shit we do IRL in this comic, which is quarantine. Atem offers to cook something for Yugi since he can’t eat outside. You love seeing Yugi eating stuff? This is a perfect comic for y’all. 
Artist: Kkyut
Artist: Kayu(i)
Others:
Gemini: As Atem comes back to the living world, Yugi faces the dilemma of having being separated by “his other self” physically and mentally. A short comic, but the lines the artist used are so... beautiful. Like, the way they describe Yugi’s loneliness?? Just hits the park so much. 
Until The Hourglass Runs Out: Set after the Memory World Arc. As their farewell day goes closer, Yugi decides to give Atem a full control of his body at school so he could spend his time with Jounouchi and the gang more. However, things don’t go as smooth as Yugi had expected. If you like that little teeny weeny pain before the Ceremonial Duel, this comic perfectly suits the taste. 
see you sometime: Post-canon. Mahaad offers Atem a chance to meet Yugi in the living realm one more time, but with several conditions. Firstly, he could only stay for a day at maximum. Secondly, Yugi won’t be able to remember who he spent his time with after Atem hangs out with him. Thirdly, Yugi will not be able to “recognize” this Atem; he will only be registered in Yugi’s mind as a new classmate. A bittersweet comic in whole, but seeing the two having fun like a normal teenager would just makes me grin.
After The Rain: A dialogue-less comic, so everyone would be able to read this right away. A short comic of the two, but still very cute and wholesome!
The Tropics of Horus: Post!DSOD, Atem has to chase Kisara who lingers around Kaiba’s soul and he needs Yugi’s help to bring Kisara back to afterlife, but he has his own ulterior motive. This manga is so dialogue-heavy and might be hard to dissect especially if you don’t understand JP grammar and context, but the time spent trying to understand the meaning behind every words will be worth it. That much I guarantee. Just... everything about this comic, and how Atem’s “ulterior motive” connects to our boys’ adventure in canon series are so well planned. You can also purchase the R18 version in a form of the book here (toranoana)
Christmas Day: S0/TOEI puzzleship hint (dark puzzle???). There’s something in store for Yugi in Christmas, but this one might surprise Yugi a lot. It’s not that the prompt of “Atem gets separated from Yugi temporarily” is uncommon, but it is still a sweet one and makes you smile throughout the pages. 
Korean
All titles mentioned here are not free unless mentioned otherwise. Also I don’t understand Korean except being able to read Yugi and Atem’s name, so my story interpretation might be wrong. If you understand Korean, I’d really love for you input! ;_; 
You can check out on how to buy comics from postype here
Yugi’s 2020 Birthday Anthology: Rain and After End
This is an anthology consisting of four titles, but they share the same (or similar) setting where Atem is reincarnated, but he doesn’t remember his past (or has not yet, depending on how the story portrays it). Some are age-gap (adult!Yugi and high school student!Atem), so you might want to consider that if it’s not your cup of tea.
To Like Someone is to...: Age-gap setting. Mostly tells about how Yugi deals with his feeling as the reincarnated Atem in front of him turns out to have a feeling on him. I like how the story’s conclusion is that Yugi will sort it out slowly while also teasing Atem how he’s “too early” to date Yugi w.
In A Circle: A story about how the two met through an online chess game. Iirc Yugi works in a game company and Atem is sort of a famous e-sports player in this setting. There’s a lot of dialogue in this one and the app sometimes can’t process them very well, but I liked what I can understand from it! not very convincing is it haha i’m sorry i shouldn’t have done this
Familiarity: Age-gap setting, where Yugi becomes Atem’s caretaker. The comic mostly focuses on how Atem notices how kind (or too kind) Yugi is sometimes, but there are times where he feels distant. The plot where Atem gets into a fight with the other kid in his school because the kid mocks Yugi, and how Yugi just... accepts it even when Atem doesn’t want to say his reason of punching the kid is just.... god... I love this kind of age-gap setting like this I guess ;_;
Touchdown: Age-gap setting, but Atem is older in here (university student). The two goes to Atem’s university festival and they think about their own feeling when they got separated. On their way to drop Atem off, he confesses to Yugi, but Yugi is still unsure on his overlapping feeling between the reincarnated Atem and the Atem he knows. Make sure you play Motohiro Hata’s Rain and Aimer’s After Rain during the car scene to make the “rain” mood works even better :”)
Others:
Try For Point: A continuation of Touchdown, where Atem (like, the one from the past) visits Yugi in his dream and helps Yugi in sorting out is his feeling toward his reincarnated self. Atem’s advice is so sweet and there’s one certain line from this comic that I remember very deeply - there’s a part where he says, “If you don’t pull out the card, you won’t know what card it is, right?” to help Yugi clearing out his hesitancy ;w; at this point, I curse myself for not being able to understand Korean
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kurogiriis · 4 years
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A/N: *I had to re-upload this bc tumblr is annoying* Apparently you guys really liked HOH Bakugou, so I guess I have no other choice than to write some more 😌 technically, 🤘 this means rock on, compared to 🤟 which means I love you but let’s just say the reader does 🤟 because they don’t know the difference lol not that it really matters since I just noticed JSL has a completely different sign for this 😔 Also, I absolutely ADORE rock, it’s my #1 genre so, excuse me while I plug my music taste into the reader’s playlist *ends up mentioning like 3 bands and they’re not even my faves smh* Also, this ended up being really long 0.0 I just love this headcanon.
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HOH Bakugou with a crush who’s really into rock and accidentally does the ILY sign
💥 When Bakugou first met you, he was immediately attracted to you. 
💥 You were powerful, talented, smart, and most importantly, had a good music taste. 
💥 Fortunately for him, you were also really into him and enjoyed his company. 
💥 Unfortunately, neither of you were aware of the other’s feelings. 
💥 You and Jirou were always talking about new releases from your favorite bands in class or music from older bands you had rediscovered. 
💥 During the school festival, you became closer friends, spending time together during rehearsal. 
💥 Although he would never admit it, he wanted to spend more time with you, even after the event was over, switching seats to be closer and asking you to pair up during projects. 
💥 However, the more you hung out together, the more you noticed his unusual behavior when you listened to music. 
💥 At first, you began to think it was second-hand embarrassment. 
💥 After all, nothing could stop you from acting like you were in an actual concert when Bohemian Rhapsody or Kimi to Iu Hana played on shuffle, singing loudly off-tune and banging your head while doing what you thought was the rock on sign 🤟. 
💥 Every time you listened to your favorite songs over your headphones, he would always look uncomfortable, maybe even flustered. 
💥 One day, he just couldn’t take it anymore. While you were waving your hands around and singing out loud, he just snapped. 
💥 “Could you stop doing that fucking sing!” 
💥 “Huh? This one? 🤟” 
💥 He was blushing while he said it, looking away while muttering something under his breath. 
💥 “Yes, stop doing that, it doesn’t mean what you think it means, idiot.” 
💥 “What does it mean then?” 
💥 “Look it up, I’m not your encyclopedia.” 
💥 With that, he left your room, leaving you to wonder what that whole conversation was about.
💥 After hours upon hours of weird google searches seriously, try to describe hand signs with words you stumbled upon an ASL website explaining common mistakes beginner ASL learners made. 
💥 One of the first ones was how many did the I love you sign when they actually meant to do the rock on one. 
💥 You were confused at first. Why would Bakugou know sign language? But finally understood the reason he was flustered all those times. 
💥 When it finally dawned on you the meaning of your gestures, you felt very embarrassed.
💥 You had a big crush on Bakugou but telling him you loved him before you were even dating was a bit too much. 
💥 “How do you know sign language?” you asked the next day during homeroom. 
💥 “I’m going deaf,” he said matter-of-factly. 
💥 It all started to make sense and wanted to ask more questions, but class was already starting. 
💥 Once the period was over, he pulled you aside and explained further. 
💥 “My explosions,” he explained, “the bigger and louder I made them, the worse my hearing got. Before you say that you’re sorry for me out of pity just know I’m still better than all these fucking extras and I’m gonna be number one no matter what.”
💥 “I wouldn’t expect anything less,” you responded, being met with a pink tint on his cheeks. 
💥 Over the following weeks, you started to pick up some sign language and tried to communicate with Bakugou using it, seeing that it was easier for him to understand. 
💥 The time you spent together, becoming closer friends, the more your feelings for him grew, and, as cheesy as it sounded, you planned to confess to Bakugou with some of your favorite songs. 
💥 At first, you planned to follow that old trend of making a spotify playlist and confessing through song titles, but the songs just didn’t match. You just couldn’t have a rap song followed by two pop songs and then by modern and classic rock just for the sake of forming a coherent sentence. 
💥 You wanted to go with something that conveyed your feelings while not being too forward. This proved to be a difficult task. 
💥 There were a seemingly infinite amount of songs talking about love and heartbreak, but it seemed impossible to find one that truly resonated with how you felt. After all, you really liked Bakugou, but you also wanted to take things slow, wanting to actually tell him you loved him when you actually meant it and not during a silly misunderstanding. 
💥 After hours of scrolling through your playlists, you finally found one that was perfect. 
💥 At first, you were gonna go with IWBYL by Breimen, but I wanna be your lover might be taken out of context. Then you thought about going with What I Like About You by the Romantics. It seemed like a perfect option until you noticed Bakugou didn’t fit any of the things they mentioned in the lyrics. Crush by Tessa Violet also seemed like a good option until you imagined how you would react if someone made you listen to that song. It sounded a bit obsessive, so you decided to go with something else. 
💥 Feeling defeated, you thought about planning another way to express your feelings.
💥 You pressed shuffle on your playlist while you opened your laptop to look for ideas. 
💥 That’s when you heard the chorus.
💥 “Come over here and sit next to me” “We can see where things go naturally” 
💥 Although it wasn’t what you originally planned, the song just fit. You decided you would make him listen to it and explain afterward if he didn’t understand. 
💥 During one of your study sessions, you tapped him to call his attention. You had the song prepared on your phone and were planning to hand him one of your headphones, knowing that waiting for someone to listen to a song you recommend while in silence is possibly the most awkward feeling known to man. 
💥 As you held the device towards him he just looked at you in confusion. 
💥 “What?” 
💥 “Put it on.” 
💥 “I can’t, in-ear headphones mess with my hearing aids,” he said, annoyed at your ignorance. 
💥 “Oh.”
💥 You went back to your books. You knew you had to do this today or else you would chicken out forever. Tapping him for the second time, he turned towards you. 
💥 “What now?”
💥 Carefully, trying not to mess up regardless of your nervously shaking hands, you signed I like you. 
💥 His cheeks went crimson as he looked at you in disbelief. 
💥 “Are you sure you signed that right?” 
💥 “I hope so,” you said with a nervous laugh, signing it again carefully and adding a lot at the end. 
💥 “I-,” he was speechless and managed the seemingly impossible feat of turning even redder before nervously signing back I like you a lot too.
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beneaththetangles · 3 years
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BtT Light Novel Club Chapter 25: Tearmoon Empire, Vol. 2
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It’s time for our discussion of volume 2 of Tearmoon Empire! We ended up having two whole posts of discussion on the first volume of this series (a hint to how much we loved it), but this time we managed to keep things down to a single post. Rest assured, though, Jeskai Angel, Gaheret, and I still had quite a lot to say about this volume, so let’s get started!
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1. What are your overall impressions of the volume?
stardf29: So if there was any concern this story wouldn’t hold up after Mia no longer has to worry about death by guillotine, this volume proves that it can do just fine dealing with other events. Notably, in this volume Mia’s scope of action goes beyond just her own country and into international relations, and she does it all while still “looking out for herself” and others misunderstanding her intentions to hilarious effect. There are a lot of great character moments throughout, and overall the volume makes for a great end to this first story arc (though far from the end of the overall story). I’ll go into details in later questions, but I’ll say that, with this volume, Tearmoon Empire has become my current favorite light novel of all time.
Jeskai Angel: It’s outstanding, a brilliant sequel that brought back the prior volume’s characters and plot threads but then built upon them in fun new ways. The theme of how Mia’s influence ripples outward to change others continues to be a delight. The humor remains a highlight of the story. The goofy chapter titles are great. There was a hilarious callback to the previous volume’s running joke that Mia doesn’t care enough to remember the name of Abel’s brother. And I loved the part where the conspirators are reading Mia and Abel’s letters and drive themselves crazy trying to find their (nonexistent) hidden meaning. Oh, and the scene where the villainous Graham sets his own doom flag by saying “There’s no way she can pull something like that off again.” I have a tough time picking “favorites,” but I feel comfortable saying Tearmoon Empire is undoubtedly in the very top tier of LNs.
Gaheret: For my part, I thought this one was an interesting read. I liked the first one better, though. The first novel had sort of a balance between Mia changing things by coincidence and Mia changing things as a result of a change of perspective. I felt this one was sort of a regression in that front, with almost everything being a result of sheer luck. The conflict with the tribesmen was great, but its resolution was too clear-cut for me. The disappearance of the diary midway took out a lot of the dramatic tension. All the twelve-year-olds infiltrating a supposed warzone was quite unrealistic, mostly in how the adults reacted to it. The clash of ideals between Abel and Shion was a great idea, but I think it was underdeveloped. And I felt that the conclusion of Sion character arc was too on-the-nose.
On the other hand, I liked -a lot- the fact that Mia had earned a Royalist resistance in the last volume, the fight against the future famine, the deal with Chloe´s father, the conflict with the tribesmen (with two different political cultures and sets of values), the revolutionary secret plot and the fact that both Tearmoon Empire´s and Remno´s were “manufactured revolutions” (very interesting parallels with the French Revolution), the idea of a conflict of ideals between Abel and Shion, the Penal King/ Libra King concept and the participation of both Sunkland spies and a satanic cult of sorts as fuelers or the revolution. I´d have liked more emphasis on Tiona, I think.
2. What are your thoughts on the characters, old and new?
Mia
Jeskai Angel: One thing that struck in this volume is that Mia herself has changed. She’s still not the great sage that everyone else thinks she is, but it feels like she’s moving in that direction. She can be still be quite derpy, but she’s definitely a bit more calculating than when she started. One moment that stood out was when Mia insists on sparing the lives of Jem and the White Crows…because she realizes she has no idea how or why this die-and-go-back-in-time phenomenon happens, and doesn’t want to risk any of the baddies getting a second chance and ruining everything. Mia also remains an unusually intuitive protagonist. There’s no other way she could so frequently say or do the right thing at the right time. “It wasn’t so much reasoned analysis as it was intuition,” as Narrator-san puts it at one point.
And she stays true to character in that, although she (wittingly or unwittingly) nudges people and events in the right direction, she’s still very much dependent on her friends and allies. For example, I loved this passage during Sion and Abel’s fight: “Did her words truly reach no one? No! Absolutely not! Though they fell on the deaf ears of the dueling princes, the bonds she’d forged would carry her voice. Whither would it go? Who was listening? Why, her faithful subjects, of course!” The seed/plant metaphor that runs through the book speaks to the same idea. Mia is verging on becoming a real leader — she doesn’t solve problems personally, but she does inspire others and point them toward the best course: “After all, Mia might be incompetent, but she’d surrounded herself with people who were anything but. When the Mia Brigade was on the job, problems didn’t stand a chance.” She’s a joy to read about.
stardf29: One of my favorite Mia moments in this volume is when she’s trying to figure out how to get the army away from the forest, and she decides to play up her perceived selfishness as an excuse to get the army out of there. That was quite a big brain play right there; it’s one thing to act “selfishly”, and another thing to know that people expect you to act selfishly and leverage that to solve a problem.
And yes, she’s definitely changed overall. I especially like the line at the end that says “when it came to happiness, she wanted every last piece — for herself and all those she held dear…” The old Mia would have only thought of herself, but now Mia has people she cares about and wants the best for them as well. (Even if she’s still primarily concerned about herself first…)
Gaheret: And as for her, well, I find her amusing and relatable, and I like her random strikes of brilliance, how she has come to care a little more for others, Abel especially (whatever Narrator-san may say) and also her lazy/tsundere-ish/go-with-the-flow usual personality. As I said, I enjoyed her sudden anger at those who judged and condemned her. I was puzzled by her “seductress of the Empire” behaviour with Shion, both because she seemed more carefree than I had thought (given the situation) and because she knows it could have been a huge problem for Abel´s self-esteem had he even suspected it. Giving that she is, in body and emotions, if not memories, a 12-year-old (and that, in any case, she wasn´t a very mature 20-year-old), I didn´t find her behaviour creepy, as the narrator maliciously implied, just puzzling. Why go there?
Narrator
Jeskai Angel: Am I the only one who felt the narrator was a bit mellower than in the previous volume? Still dispensing over-the-top criticism of Mia and associates, to be sure, but not quite as a harsh or vicious about it? I found it an intriguing change (or else I just imagined this change exists, LOL). It was also fun seeing Narrator-san use that razor-sharp wit to go after the bad guys. The first volume didn’t actually have any real villains, aside from Mia’s flashbacks — even her future-past enemies like Sion, Tiona, and Rafina are still just kids. As a result, all criticism was directed toward Mia and her friends. But with this volume, the narrator could start taking potshots at actual evildoers, and I loved it.
Sion
Jeskai Angel: I feel like Sion was the big winner of this volume (besides Mia) when it comes to character development. He got some great introspective moments where Mia (sometimes unintentionally) challenged him to reconsider his simplistic, black-and-white view of justice. There was also the cool contrast between the austere “Penal King” of Mia’s first life and the more beloved “Libra King” we learn he’ll become thanks to Mia’s influence. I recall that the LNC had some criticism of Sion back when we read the first volume, and it seems to me that vol. 2 goes a long way toward acknowledging his flaws and then helping him grow beyond them.
stardf29: Yes, Sion’s development in this volume was great. That moment when Mia calls him out for planning to enact justice on Abel if necessary without first trying to set him right was a wonderful moment, both for Mia’s personal vindication over her issues with past-Sion and also for Sion to realize that maybe the beliefs he held on to up to now were wrong.
The real highlight, though, was the chapter that showed what (probably) happened in the previous timeline after Mia’s execution. It’s very easy to appreciate how much better things are in the current timeline when we see how bad things got beforehand, and this definitely applies to the character of the “Penal King” versus that of the (future) “Libra King”. Past Sion’s story is a particularly tragic one; I can imagine few things worse than “dying unloved”. But now that he finally knows what it’s like to be in the wrong, and to have to deal with guilt, he can finally become a respectable ruler.
Gaheret: Well, that was a lot of teasing, both by Mia and by the novelist. Sion clearly liked Mia in the previous volume, but in this one, it´s hard to tell. He clearly admires and respects her and is willing to fight to help her, but has to be aware of the fact that she has chosen Abel. He doesn´t show any jealousy, is sincere when asked about his ideals and motives and reacts to her teasing (without knowing that it´s intentional) in the way any boy his age would react. Yet, the novelist keeps teasing us, maybe to make fun of Mia´s tactics of… revenge? Beautiful celebrity syndrome? I don´t know. In any case, as stardf29 and Jeskai have commented in detail, we are shown how he learns to have mercy, a much-needed development for his character.
Dion
Jeskai Angel: First, it throws me off every time Dion’s last name comes up, because in my head, Alaia is the name of an ancient Forthorthian princess. His last name should be Sanders. LOL. Dion was most notable “new” character of this volume, and I liked how the story retrofitted him into Mia’s history. The guy operating the guillotine didn’t really come up in vol. 1, but logically someone had to do it. It was a cool way to bring in a “new” character who had “always” been part of the story. Mia fainting upon seeing him was good for a laugh, but also a reminder that she really experienced that first life and bears scars from it. I liked that Dion feels more analytical and mature than most of Mia’s associates (Ludwig being the exception). It’s perfectly fitting, since Dion is older, more experienced, and exhibits qualities needs to become a general, but it’s great that the author/translator can successfully communicate that difference. There’s also delightful irony of role reversals, as Dion goes from Mia’s executioner to her bodyguard.
Gaheret: About Dion Alaia, I´m with Mia (sorry, Jeskai): I find him unsettling. What sort of Colonel Kurtz figure wanders out of the forest after his men have been killed in action and avenges them by personally executing the 21-year-old daughter of his king? Or infiltrates a foreign Kingdom, there being peace between it and the Empire, and provokes the most powerful fighter of the troop to a duel to the death? “Dion shot her a glance before letting out a very conspicuous sigh of reluctant resignation and plunging both swords into the ground. Then he gave Bernardo a questioning gaze, who tsked and lowered his “spear” with a grimace”. Dion´s loyalty seems to depend on his judgement about the cunning of his superior in any particular decision, he acts as if he had a death wish and joins Mia´s team because he thinks it will be fun. On the other hand, he is competent and effective, and the flashforward chapters tell us that he will be loyal, too. Even so…
stardf29: All I’ll add to this is, Dion was looking like the guy that was most likely to see through Mia’s “not actually that great of a Sage” thing, but then Mia pulls a genuinely brilliant move (mentioned earlier) and now he’s got as bad of a case of Mia-itis as anyone else. But yeah, it’s cool to see Mia’s executioner in the past show up here, and have him ally with her as someone who can handle some of the… grittier? parts of Mia’s reforms.
As for his connection with a certain Rokujouma character… I’m sure I can come up with some kind of convoluted way the two are related if I really wanted to.
The new villains
Gaheret: I liked them. I felt Jem was an appropiated villain, sinister, clever, a fanatic, fearsome and unafraid of death, with the most generic plebeian name in the country he has infiltrated. I would have liked more personal details about him. Similarly, the unnamed assasins, Graham corrupting the Sunkland spies sounded realistic to me (reading about people like Kim Philby, Guy Burguess, James Jesus Angleton or Yuri Noshenko makes you realize how confusing and potentially corrupting the world of intelligence and counterintelligence is). Concerning Monica Buendia, I was thrilled to hear that she had killed Prince Abel in the previous timeline (with Marat and Mata Hari vibes), and I symphatize with her troubles. In a way, encountering her meant that the new Abel was confronting the old, which was especially welcome given that he had larguely been absent. That said, I´m not a fan of how things were played out, especially the melodramatic white crow/black crow thing. I´d rather prefer that we hadn´t been told what she had sent.
Lambert, the so-called Frontman and Firebrand, was a character I liked. Probably my favorite villain of this novel. A very young, orphaned, impoverished nobleman with a gift for discourses, popular and clever, with a loving but very worried sister, Lynsha. He starts talking about politics in a tabern, and ultimately leads the uprising against the Remno Government. We know that the people are being manipulated. While angry, they don´t want a war, or their king killed, or a bloodbath. Lynsha thinks that he is being infatuated carried by the situation, and blind to the consequences. But it turns out that this is not the case. He is fully aware of the plan, and is on board. This could have made everything much more difficult, given that there was a personal angle on both sides of the conflict, but it didn´t. Lambert is pardoned and we probably won´t see much of him. It´s a pity, I think he had potential.
The rest of the villains are proud, vain people in positions of power who cause trouble by their arrogance and egoism, as Viscount Berman, Remno´s king or, to a lesser degree, Mia´s flippant father. Part of the diplomatic game consists in appealing to the things they value or respect (status, military honor, Mia herself) to solve the conflict without violence: I liked that approach. While they need to be corrected, I think that, when possible, this is the best way. After all, blessed are the peacemakers.
Other characters
Gaheret: Concerning the heroes, this novel has a similar structure to the first one, with Anne and Ludwig, fiercely loyal but blinded (to a point) by the achievements of Mia, helping her deal with the Tearmoon Empire, and with Shion, Keithwood, Abel, Rafina and Tiona playing a role in how she dealt with her social life, romantic life and international troubles in the second. Chloe´s merchant father Marco, Viscount Berman, the Lulu chief, the honest priest of Rafina and the Outcount of Rudolvon were credible characters with their own personality and motivations, and I liked that, and also how they were played (though I felt that the resolution of the Lulu´s chief conflict by pure coincidence was not as interesting as this could have been). Tiona´s maiden and Tiona´s brother, on the other hand, were less developed, and I feel there was a certain degree of Bakarina syndrome in how they were dealt with.
I liked Lynsha and the Diamond Spear well enough in their small supporting roles. In this volume, Rafina supports Mia and advises Anne, but to me, she still seems to be ready to cut ties and punish you in the second you do an evil deed. Chloe has a short appaerance, and I would like to see more of her and Mia acting as friends. Tiona appears briefly in the first volume, writes to Mia, doesn´t show signs of being in love with Prince Sion and, outside a significant moment in which she defends Mia´s honor in front of the king of Remno, inspiring the Diamond Spear to do the same, remains mostly out of the scene. I think she would be a very interesting rival/friend, but things don´t seem to be going that way. In general, I think it´s sad that to this point, Mia consistently can´t let her more carefree, tsundere-ish, impulsive personality show in front of anybody except (to a point) Anne and Abel. Her friends love her, but also misunderstand her, and she should be known and loved for what she is.
Anne and Abel had less protagonism that in the previous volume, while Ludwig´s position was similar. I liked how, at least, the first was able to see Mia being lazy, reprimand and advise her, and then save her. I hope Mia manages to tell her the truth about herself, or some of it, in the future. Concerning Abel, he is now a gallant knight and a full-fledged prince who behaves as such. I´m not 100% sure, but I think he was not wrong in carrying out the orders of his father and leading the army against the popular uprising (heh, just like him), and then trying to reform the country from the inside. My only complain is that, with so little time, we don´t see his development. Ludwig remains loyal, clever, useful and kind, but I think he and Mia have lost the personal connection they had in their previous life, and that helped her so much.
stardf29: So Lynsha is a cool gal. She obviously realized something was wrong and did what she could to find a way to resolve it, even if she did resort to some kidnapping to get it done… Anyway, I mention this because she has enough of a presence in this volume that I kind of wonder if she’ll show up more in the future…
We see a bit of Abel here, but perhaps most interesting regarding him is his effect on others back in Remno, particularly the maid and spy Monica. Realizing that he had grown into someone capable of changing Remno’s misogynistic ways and then basically exposing the White Crows’ plans, she shows just how Mia’s “sowing the seeds of hope” have grown. And again, it makes me wonder if we’ll see more of Monica in the future…
(Am I saying this because of certain things I’ve read in the prepubs of the third volume? Maybe…)
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Lynsha even gets a full illustration, so clearly they want us to know what she looks like.
3. This volume introduces a greater evil force that is trying to bring the world into chaos. What do you think of this addition to the story?
Jeskai Angel: I didn’t much care for this twist the first time I read this volume, but it grew on me when I reread the volume for our discussion. This may sound ridiculous, but part of what bugged me about Jem’s group (not the White Crows, but whatever organization he really works for) was it’s unhistorical nature. I adored the many nods to real history that appeared in the first volume. Since the French Revolution was not the result some evil international conspiracy, so it felt jarring to have a sinister organization of chaotic evil in Mia’s world. It was like the first volume had a lot of historical allusions, but then the second one turned around and said “Forget history, let’s have a secret evil conspiracy instead!” But, as I said, the second time I read vol. 2, I found myself more accepting of this plot twist.
First, it occurred to me that there are certainly evil spiritual forces working unseen in the world. If I reframe Jem and his ilk as anthropomorphized quasi-demonic agents, working in unseen to lead people astray and cause chaos and suffering, then their presence in the story is more palatable. This is especially true in light of the existing supernatural (time-travel) element of the story. If we posit the existence of some benevolent force that gave Mia a second chance, it seems possible that there might be evil forces, too. I don’t expect this series to become high fantasy or anything, but it’s certainly plausible that supernatural forces’ role in the story will go beyond just Mia’s unexplained time travel. So, basically, refocusing on the supernatural premise of the whole story made me more accepting of the sinister-agents-of-chaos twist.
Second, I more fully appreciated the narrative function of Jem’s organization this time around. When I first read the book,I only saw Jem’s group as a regrettable divergence from the historical flavor of the tale. This time, though, I recognized that establishing a “greater scope villain” creates a bridge between the initial “Prevent the French Tearmoon Revolution” story arc and wherever the story might go from here. We can accept that Mia has successfully altered the timeline enough to avoid the guillotine, while not completely abandoning the story’s initial premise. Having this plot thread keeps Mia’s struggles thus far from becoming irrelevant to her continuing story.
Gaheret: I think I may go on a little about why I liked this development. At University, somebody told me to read Aristotle´s “Poetics”, and I remember this idea that a tragedy is simply history, but told as if the events were an unavoidable, chained to one another until the inevitable conclusion comes. This is why they are great means to learn about the world of human passions and human flaws. Mia´s story was like that: As the Marie-Antoniette of popular culture, she was the embodiement of a corrupt, cruel, vain and egoistical aristocracy which, in a way, brought her own demise upon herself by enraging their people more and more with their capricious and unjust behaviour. And thus, we saw how both the Tearmoon Empire and Mia´s personal world were bound to fall, and what were the deep and superficial causes related to her flaws as a person.
On the other hand, Tolkien observed how a story with a happy ending usually includes a “deus ex machina”, an “eucatastrophe”, which breaks this chain in the darkest moment, offering a path towards hope. Tearmoon Empire was unusual in that this eucatastrophe happened at the beginning. The story played with the fact that people are generally aware of how the French Revolution developed to subvert expectations. It worked, and it still works. It would seem that an evil cabal planning the Revolution, or it suddenly happening in Remno and not the Empire, or to setting Abel´s and not Mia´s flaws as the possible cause, may undermine the message. In fact, I think it deepens it.
How do revolutions work? It is interesting that they happen at times of reforms: It seems counterintuitive, but these are times of unrest and political struggle, after all, when ideas are in the air and everything seems possible. There are ideologues. There is propaganda, and manufactured incidents are very common. As we discussed, unlike Mia, Marie-Antoniette never said the famous “feed them with cakes” line, which had been attributed to a variety of unpopular aristocrats before the Revolution. There were only seven political prisoners at The Bastille when it was stormed. Jacques Necker, the man whose role is played by Tiona´s father in the story, was used as the proximate cause of that uprising, yet when he resigned there was general indiference. The faults are real, but they are also exploited by those seeking to destroy this specific order. I like how [Graham] and Jem literalize that concept.
What I felt lacking in the portrait of the Tearmoon revolution were the ideals of the revolutionary leaders, and whose immediate effect was the dire persecution of the Christians of France. I think it is telling. A totalizing regime, an utopia, will often divinize itself and try to get rid of what it cannot subdue. That is a sign of pride, and as Jeskai Angel said, also of Demonic temptation, masking as glorious freedom what is really self-deception and servitude. While I believe that revolutions can be legitimate in extreme situations, the destruction they bring is enormous, the cycle of violence cannot be ignored, and solving political problems by destructing the opponent has a dangerous appeal. Utopias are usually revolutionary, purporting the destruction of the present order to substitute it with the ideal one. In the end, getting any sort of power may easily make us think that to us that we could do better, if only we could get rid of the human obstacles interfering with our glorious vision. Certainly, the French Revolution, which rename the months of the year, executed the nuns who would not abjure and viciously killed its own leaders, had this approach.
My favorite moment of the novel was Mia basically saying to Sion: Okay, I had terrible flaws, you were right to be angry, but why didn´t you try your best to reform me? Why did you believe the worst? Why didn´t any of you had a little more hope, a little more patience with me, instead of trying to suppress me? I didn´t like everything (in particular, I thought it was a terrible idea to warn us beforehand, as a sudden revolution in Remno and the slow discovery of the propaganda campaign behind it would have been much more vibrant this way). But I think it is a great answer, a great statement of the central theme of the novels, and a great lesson to the rest, to Sion, to Dion, to the villains, to Mia herself. Don´t give up, even if you are flawed, and dealing with what is flawed. There was unsuspected hope, and there still is. Our Lord answering the pride of the Devil with His own humility and hope, and bringing us out of what would have been our tragedy.
stardf29: While I definitely also wasn’t sure if this was the best path when I first read it, as the story went along I definitely started to really like what was going on here, particularly with the hints that this villainous faction may in fact be a demonic cult. Sure, it might not be as “historical” but then again, the idea of a “devil” trying to cause problems in the world is definitely Biblically true for our world, even if there’s no explicit historical records of such. It also helps paint a better picture of what actually led to the revolution that ended Mia’s past life, and how just because her execution might have been averted doesn’t mean she’s “out of the woods” yet.
Also, I love how these “villains” get bamboozled by Mia in various ways (especially when it comes to horse shampoo). They’re a threat, but certainly nothing Mia can’t handle.
4. Last volume we discussed a number of topics about the world itself like the nature of the time travel and whether this story’s world has a “god” or not. How has the second volume affected your view of the story world?
Jeskai Angel: On meta level, I know light novels and anime almost never include the kind of all-powerful, one-of-a-kind deity found in religions like Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. (The only exception I can think of is Invaders of the Rokujouma!?.) So from that angle, I don’t expect the story’s world to have a “God,” at least not one that bears the least resemblance to the Lord we serve. This volume hasn’t changed that view.
However, it has made me more inclined to think this world/story will have supernatural forces. This volume gave us the scene where Mia’s diary disappeared once she altered the past enough, and also the self-erasing anachronistic history book Mia found. Beyond that, there’s the unconfirmed but possibly (?) supernatural associations of Jem’s group, and the hint that Mia is going to end up interacting with one of her distant descendants. If the only remotely supernatural aspect of the story was Mia jumping back in time after dying, the story could probably get away with leaving it unexplained. As the story adds more “doesn’t normally happen” elements, the need for an explanation increases sharply. (The story could also take a sci-fi turn and use advanced tech as its excuse for time travel, but based on vols. 1-2, I think the supernatural is way more likely.)
Gaheret: In the epilogue, we have this: “Whenever demonic cultists or large bandit brigades sought to sow chaos, Dion Alaia would arrive on the scene, his sword offering a swift and deadly rebuke to their ways”. Coupled with Jem terrified reaction to the prospect of being brought to Belluga (while normal bandits smiled knowing that they would be better than usual there), I think we can assume that Jem and Garret are part of those “demonic cultists”, if not downright possesed. That would explain why Jem is not affected by the perspective of death or torture, but Rafina scares him. It makes sense only if Rafina (or her people) has some kind of power to banish or exorcise them.
Rafina´s Papal parallels are now almost complete with the dialogue between Mia and the priest and this description just before: “Offering guiding sermons of salvation to the populace was the Holy Lady, Rafina Orca Belluga, who dedicated her life to maintaining peace between nations”. We come to know that Mia has providentially frustrated the plans of [Graham], so I think we can safely assume that whatever god Rafina and her church represent is the god of this world, working behind the scenes with the purpose of frustrating universal destruction, saving the Empire and/or Mia´s betterment.
It may be, too, that Jem´s terror of Rafina or Belluga is merely superstitious, but having other supernatural elements in the story, I don´t think so. Mia says that it is “As if someone had fabricated this incident to purposefully incite revolution… Or indeed, as if it were willed by God, and the invisible hand of fate were pushing the empire toward its ruin”. It may be just the translation, but I think it may be intentional. So, it is not God or Providence/fate who wills the destruction of Mia and the Empire, the Continent…, but a demonic power, and “God” is fighting against that through Mia.
Time-travel and sudden inspiration would be the means.
Oh, and the diary. Which, as I mentioned, I don´t like very much. Having it vanish in a ray of light midway, especially, suggests that the threat against Mia and the Empire has already been prevented, which makes the rest of the action less dramatic.
stardf29: As interesting as it was to ponder how this world likely has a “god” that took Mia back in time, it’s even more interesting with the aforementioned “demonic cult” implying there may be a “devil” as well, in opposition to said “god”. Now, depending on how exactly the time travel works, and if the timeline in which Mia was executed still exists (and given the story of Penal King Sion, it very well might), the “god” of this world might not quite have the power or intention to completely stop the actions of the “devil”, but at the very least, can prevent it in a different timeline. And the fact that this “god” chose Mia to be the “divine envoy” and for her to be so effective at it… that is both awesome and hilarious.
And yes, this is a great way to provide a deeper conflict that persists even with Mia’s execution stopped. All things considered, there actually aren’t all that many explicit “god vs. devil” stories in light novels these days, huh? The trend seems to be moving towards the “devil” side actually being good, or at least the “god” side being just as bad or worse as the “devil” side. So I do like this more classic “good vs. evil” setup, with plenty of Mia hilarity in the mix.
On that note, I like how Mia considered that, if she was able to go back in time as she did, it’s possible that Jem could also do the same if she were to execute him. That’s actually a very smart perspective to have (and one that I haven’t really seen as much in other time-travel stories, though admittedly I haven’t read that many of such). Whatever we as readers might figure out about how this time-travel works, Mia is completely right to consider the same might happen to other people.
5. At the end of the volume we see a possible future for Mia’s story. What do you think of this future, and the fact that Mia ultimately rejected it?
Jeskai Angel: It was a fun what-if scenario (Mia’s reaction to having eight kids was especially amusing), but I also understood Mia’s logic in saying “No, we can do better,” in terms wanting a future that doesn’t cut Abel off from his family and home. It’s also a cool illustration of Mia’s growth: she started the story wanting to make her own future better, but now she’s valuing Abel’s happiness so highly that she’d also reject a future that isn’t good for him.
Gaheret: I would love to have a large family, so Mia and Abel having eight kids sounds great to me. That said, I think I would do as her: Except for prophecies or warnings that may be a calling for us here and now, I don´t think it´s wise to live constantly thinking about the future or the best outcome.
stardf29: Yeah, as good as that future might have sounded, it’s a great sign of growth that Mia would reject it if it wasn’t the best for Abel. Plus, with Remno basically completely against Abel, does that mean that in that future, Remno will continue to stew in its misogynistic culture? Mia definitely was right to see that as an unideal future, and it definitely makes it interesting to see where her story goes from there.
Final Comments
Jeskai Angel: The main extra thing I wanted to bring up was a statement in the Ludwig-and-the-Penal-King sidestory. Describing Ludwig’s respect for his late princess, the narration says “That was the story of his regent — a princess who struggled against her fate in the worst of times.”
Am I crazy for thinking that’s a reference to the famous opening line of A Tale of Two Cities? Charles Dickens’s novel set during the French Revolution begins, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” I can’t read the phrase “the worst of times” in a context with links to the French Revolution and NOT see it as a literary allusion. Kudos to author and/or translator if this is intentional and not just coincidence.
Gaheret: I 100% agree that this is a literary allusion.
Abel may be my favorite character, so I think the moment will be this: “Prince Abel. I’ve missed you.” Her argent hair reflected the sunlight, emitting a soft glow like the moon. Wisdom radiated from her eyes, deep and coruscant. Then, there was her pearlescent skin… It was all as he’d remembered. With all the breathtaking beauty of that night at the dance party, Mia Luna Tearmoon appeared before Abel”.
stardf29: This volume concludes the first major story arc, but it’s not over yet! Volume 3 comes out on December 12th this year, and in Japan volume 6 has already been scheduled, so there’s still plenty more to Mia’s story. I definitely ready to be following Mia’s adventures for the long haul!
Jeskai Angel: Finally, if you read all this way but still haven’t read Tearmoon Empire, hurry up and go read it already! It’s awesome.
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Thanks for reading our discussion! As a reminder, we will be covering The Saint’s Magic is Omnipotent, Vol. 1 next month, with an earlier start time of November 14th for our discussion to account for Thanksgiving (the discussion will still conclude around the end of the month). Join our Discord if you want to discuss it along with us!
We’ll be taking December off for the holidays, but we do have January’s title announced on the Discord. I’ll make a post announcing that title next week, but if you don’t want to sit like a tree waiting for that, it’s all the more reason to join us on Discord!
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parkeraul · 5 years
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anatomy | oneshot
a/n: i don’t know what it is but i had this stuck in my phone’s notes and i’m going to give it a try lol. i got inspired by a post here on tumblr and another one on twitter (both different, both NOT what you’re thinking they are) and this is like... nerdy!shawn? college!shawn? student!shawn? idk read it to find it out. plus, this is a work of fiction, so the situations named in here aren’t exactly what happens in real life, my dudes. i don’t know if this is how it happens, i’m assuming stuff just to give them an atmosphere. all built up for shawn and reader’s relationship to go somewhere on this imagine. sorry in advance to any medical students lmao.
shawn x reader  warnings: cursing, smut (?).  words: 7.272
It’s nearly 10pm in a saturday when he knocks on her door with his free hand, holding his book in his other hand kind of nervously. She tiptoes downstairs, quickly knotting the strap around her robe to cover her recent showered body. Her mind goes confused, wondering who might be standing outside at this time. Peeking through the magic eye, she can barely recognise the tall figure standing in front of her door with what she figured out as a backpack hanging on his back and something under his tattooed arm. She wasn’t expecting anyone from college because the finals were still happening and she finally managed to get home after passing hers, so everyone else should probably be stuck in their houses half studying, half praying. When she saw his hand coming up to curl in a fist next to the wooden material, she flicked the keys to the side and made sure to hold the upper part of her robe, pulling the edges together to cover her breasts and collarbone.  Opening the door, she meets him wearing a desperate expression on his flushed face. He sighs in relief before putting his shit together. “Shawn? What are you doing here?” She asks smiling insecurely, he doesn’t follow her though. “Thank God you’re home!” He vents and exhales heavily. “I know this is super weird and random, but I honestly don’t know who else to look for. I’m really sorry. God... I shouldn’t-“ “Spit it out, Mendes!” She giggles, opening the door a little bit more to show him somehow that she’s welcoming him. “You know you can count on me to something more than just having my veins available for you to train your blood-removal skills.” She winks and he smiles shyly, remembering how insecure he felt when first asking her to volunteer and be his pair to this class in specific.  
They’ve become pretty close, always getting paired for the classes because they knew that they were responsible and worked greatly together – always hitting high grades even in the most difficult subjects. Medical school is hard already, so they’ve found in each other an easier way to go through it all by supporting each other since their class is filled with so many selfish people. Shawn and Y/N were rarely hanging out when not in college – but more than friends, they are also something like partners in crime.  Although he had a very serious crush on her at first sight, he kept on doing his best to get rid of the feeling eventually, even though he knows he’s not 100% there, he thinks that he’s seen everything he could and his rational side is working constantly to make him get used to live next to her like a normal person would do (seeing her as a nice classmate who’s there for him, not someone who he wants to trace every single inch and experience his daydreams with). She finds him attractive, she can’t even lie. But she would never make a move considering how reserved he is, fearing that he might reject her right at first and never look at her face again. Things couldn’t get this awkward. 
Y/N opens some space for Shawn to step inside her living room and gives him a gentle smile, always reassuring him wordlessly that he can feel comfortable in her presence to ask whatever he wanted to ask – she felt more than glad to solve his doubts, actually. 
“I’m sorry for showing up so late and...” He finally sees that she’s wearing nothing but a black cotton robe and her hair is wet, clinging to her back. “Well, s-sorry for interrupting your s-shower, I-“ Shawn facepalms and rubs his forehead, trying to brush his nervousness off and find the right words to say. He doesn’t want to look like a creep. “Mendes, you’re rambling,” She warns him and closes the door, grabbing his stuff for him to have free hands to take off his coat and shoes. Knowing it, Shawn rapidly does it all before putting both hands together to wait for further instructions. “Stop apologising! You know I don’t care about it.”  Shawn knows that Y/N doesn’t really give a shit about things that some other people would do. She always says that a body is a body: it’s not an object and that a body and sex should be seen as something natural, not something who demands silly and unnecessary jokes when you look at it. And considering the partnership they’ve been developing, she felt more comfortable to talk to him about these things without stuttering or feeling embarassed. If they wanted to build a professional career, they had to deal with bodies normally. 
Maybe this is one of the reasons why they’ve never sat down to spill the tea about their secret little crushes. Shawn is a gentleman, of course, and that’s what keeps him fighting his willing to love on her like he never did with anyone else. He is misunderstanding her words, perhaps. She always talked to him about how much she hates when their classmates started joking and sexualizing human bodies like they were made for nothing more than sex. But that didn’t mean that she’s not into finding out how their touches can melt delightfully, because that’s been currently taking over her imaginations more often than she’d like it to – debating with her own mind how wrong is this, how awful it is of her to imagine Shawn maping her body with those intentions that she wishes her whole class could stop feeding. Maybe she had forgotten to say that, if they’re both agreeing on doing this, if their feelings are matching, then it’d be a whole another story (that she’d love to live intensely, thank you very much). This is such a hot mess.
She trails her way to the kitchen and he follows her before he can miss the sight of her. She points to the big island in the middle of her kitchen for him to sit as she places his book and backpack on top of it. “What’s going on, Shawnie Boy?” She asks while opening her fridge to look for something to eat to offer him. “Thank you for being way too nice, Y/N,” He chuckles to himself, also thanking the universe for crossing their ways. “I couldn’t pass Sally’s latest test and she’s going to eat me alive if I fuck up with the upcoming final exam.” Y/N grabs a box of grape juice to put on top of the island along with some Doritos she found on her cabinet. She thought he might probably want to sink down in unhealthy garbage to calm his damn nerves. “Sally is really unpredictable, isn’t she?” Y/N jokes and also grabs what’s left of her chocolate cake inside the oven to join the other stuff. “What was it about?”  “Anatomy,” Shawn says unpleasantly, grabbing the glass that Y/N is giving him so he can pour some juice to himself. “Women’s body kind of anatomy, more specifically. It makes me wanna give up on this damn class.” He opens the box and starts filling his glass with the deep purple liquid. “You actually can’t. This subject is... How do they say? Obligatory.” She says, staring at him and finishing setting the island with tiny plates and forks. “See? I know I should be studying music or whatever doesn’t envolve vulvas and labias.” His tone expresses all of his disappointment. Shawn hates to fail and also hates the whole process of learning from his mistakes. He never allowed himself to fuck it up even though he had no previous knowledge to execute something perfectly for the first time. “Keep thinking like that and you’ll end up seeing your own hand for the rest of your life.” Y/N is effortlessly pushing him over the edge of his stress, but he knew she was only playing around so he pretended not to care that much. He thought of replying her as boldly as she’s doing, but when she leaned forwards a little bit to cut a piece of cake, he accidentally saw her skin underneath the dark fabric – almost getting the view of the swell of her breasts. He swallowed harshly, immediately searching for his book to find the pages that have been driving him insane over the past weeks. ‘It’s fine. This is fine. Everything’s okay.’ He quietly warns his own body. Shawn shakes his head and takes a generous sip of his juice and tries hard to blink and miss the view of her not even noticing what just happened and still trying to cut a perfect square to place on a plate. “I... Mm... Have been reading from page 45 to page 97 over and over again for two weeks straight and-“ He starts with difficulty and, as if it wasn’t hard enough for him now, she’s licking and sucking at her fork she used to set under her piece of cake to lift it up and off the tin while looking him deep in the eyes, waiting for him to conclude his first doubt of the night. She didn’t mean to seduce him on purpose, but if she only knew the way she is messing with his head right now, she’d probably do something much worse. 
Shawn feels like cursing all the words he knows out loud. 
He’s been managing to keep his first impressions controlled for years. Why is this shit coming up again like he’s seeing her for the first time in his life? His brain, always hungry for coherent answers, figured things out in a matter of seconds. When he understood it all, he came back to earth and denied his own instincts angrily. Hopefully, he would never ever need to explain this reason to anyone else. 
“And?” Y/N snaps him back to reality, removing the fork out of her mouth and clicking her tongue to finish the small taste she had from the tiny crumbles that were glued to the steel.  “And... I...” He keeps on turning the pages frantically, not wanting to waste time. Who knows that she wouldn’t get him lost between running to the closest bathroom to splash some water on his face and staying frozen in his seat to never get up again until he stops hardening against his sweatpants during this quick lack of words? “I c-couldn’t quite understand and memorize these parts and their functions.” Shawn fixes a single curl back to its place and then he points to the figure on his book.  “Really?” She frowns. How a smart and handsome guy like Shawn can’t understand simple explanations about a vagina? “Why have you circled this so many times? You can barely see what it is.” She points to a messy grey sketch.  “It’s the clitoris,” Shawn rolls his eyes and clears his throat before moving on. “Need to remind myself that this shit is killing me mercilessly with this stupid amount of nerve endings.”  “You wish, Shawn,” Slicing her cake, she jokes and wraps her lips around the fork once again. Shawn can literally feel the palms of his hands sweating and he swears to God he could explode at anytime. Why anatomy of the reproductive system? Why not microbiology or pharmacology? He knew he should be a pro by now. “You better take notes about this little thing in particular if you want to pass or make a girl squirm under you.” 
Can she stop?  Great.  Now he’s picturing it. 
“Plus, I can guarantee you that, once you get to find where it is and how it works, you’ll wish you could reciprocate the merciless part everyday.” 
This is not study. This is torture.  Bad grades and bad thoughts. The “perfect” combo.  Shawn gets his notebook and pencils out of his bag and works fast to find a blank page to start writing. 
The time flies by with her careful explanations.  Y/N might joke a lot with him but she knows when to talk seriously.  She’s patient to describe every single detail and say things once more in a different way for him to see it all in a different way.  She speaks; he writes and asks again. All happening in a loop and Shawn’s pretty surprised that the chills that were taking over his lower region were gone now. He’s been doing his best by looking down at the paper all the time, refusing to peek at her.  “No! Nah-nah-nah...” She says and stretches her arm to grab the eraser next to him. He falls out of his concentration and reacts by traveling his eyes from her fingers to the expansion of her covered arm and finishing at her now exposed collarbone. The scent of her moisturizer escapes her robe to invade his nostrils. He can’t help but inhale deeply as she brings the eraser to rub the words he’d been writing.  “What’s that on your clavicle?” Still studying her skin, he asks impulsively. Shit.  She looks at him and then down at her own body.  “Oh... This?” She sets the fabric to the side a little bit more, now almost showing her entire shoulder. Shawn feels like choking on his own air. “It’s just a little scar. Got it when trying to run away from my cousin once. Nails strong enough to mark me,” She remembers and giggles lowly. “Unfortunately not as cute as this one you have on your face.” 
Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit. 
She just noticed that she revealed loudly one of her favourite things about him.  For the first time in the night, he smiles.  He feels his chest burning – still shyly – and she can’t take her eyes off his beautiful teeth, perfectly shaped and getting her missing the patterns of her breathing. 
From there, the tension between them seemed to grow more and more and the emotions blooming up from this atmosphere were screaming louder than words, intensifying not only their desires but also the other feelings coming to their surface. It was like throwing alcohol in a bonfire. And it’s certain that the flames were getting higher and higher.  They tried to focus one more time on whatever they were doing now (neither of them cared to understand exactly what it was), Shawn a lot more lost than her, already writing things that weren’t even about anatomy, he thought. 
“Nope!” She says again.  Erase, wipe the dust, explain again. 
The clock is ticking. 
“Shawn, no.”  By now, he was finishing his third glass of grape juice and she had completely given up on her cake. Fork hitting the plate aggressively as she bends over the cold marble to repeat her actions. Shawn rubs his face and runs his fingers through his dark curls.  Erase, wipe the dust, explain again.
“Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell are you doing?” If she was patient before, she’s not losing her shit for fucks sake. “Vulva is this external part, not the inside. The internal part is the vagina, down here in this entrance, see?” She’s pointing with his pencil and circling the spots with caution, because otherwise she might rip the page apart. Shawn drops his arms against the island and tilts his head to meet the hard surface, hitting his forehead and his sighs turns into a deep growl. 
Erase, wipe the dust. 
“God! Have you ever seen a pussy in your life?” He freezes in place and doesn’t get up, hoping she’s going somewhere else with this question. “Seriously! C’mere, I’ve got this kind of a plastic mould and you’ll touch this shit until the information gets inside your head somehow.” She stands in her feet and she knows that she’s being kinda rude. He doesn’t care, he knows he’s not going anywhere if she keeps on being all nice and shit but at the same time he’s so nervous that he wishes he could stay in that kitchen for the rest of his life until his problem goes away.  “I don’t really-” His voice comes out muffled by the white marble under his face.  “Mendes, you’re coming whether you want it or not!” She grabs his arm and pulls him off his seat. “I told you I’d help you and you know I won’t stop until I get my work done. Come on!”  He seizes the last seconds where his face is still hidden to smile. He loves how much she cares about him now and it seems to vanish away all of her impulsive attitudes before. She just wants him to succeed and once she gets a goal inside her mind, she ain’t stopping until she makes it happen.  Shawn gives up and she’s practically dragging him upstairs to her bedroom, steps punishing the degrees under her feet. 
“Get yourself comfortable, I’m gonna find this thing.” She says as if he even could. Shawn falls in her bed while she turns the lights on and goes to her shelf, eyeing all the spaces where that mould could be hiding into.  She tiptoes across her bedroom and checks every part of it like her life depends on it. 
Wardrobe? No.  Drawers? No.  Desk? No.  Under the bed? No.  Bookshelf? No. 
If the bedroom was even larger, she’d be running a marathon across it and the way she’s walking with powerful footsteps and picked up rhythm makes the hem of her robe swing and get loosened, sometimes showing the back of her thighs a little bit more and gradually exposing her chest.  And if Shawn felt like dying before, now he’s sure that he’s floating between heaven and hell so quickly that he can’t do anything else but widen his eyes in desperation, fight his own mind and press down on her mattress for dear life. “You can’t think like that. She’s your friend, she’s not a piece of meat. Control your damn hormones.” He whispers to himself and closes his eyes. He doesn’t want her to think that he’s just another one of those stupid classmates of theirs or some kind of a weirdo who acts like he had never seen a semi-naked body before.  Although that yes, he had never.  Y/N might be cool about talking of sex and stuff, but he managed to just nod and agree. He never told her he was a virgin and something about the way she messes with him so easily makes him feel like organising a whole speech – in the most polite way ever – about how much he wants her to teach him everything: where to touch, how to touch and what to do to have her feeling not only relaxed in his presence but also pleased. If he only had the braveness, he’d be on his knees right now divided between begging for mercy or for a chance. 
She closes the last drawer where she guessed the plastic cast could be inside of and turns around with her hands covering her mouth. Shawn looks at her concerned expression and concludes that she’s thinking, considering how fast her eyes are running across the room. 
“Y/N, you don’t have to. It’s okay, I can find some other way...” Shawn tries to calm her and she tugs some strands, pulling them back and then dropping her arms down. She can’t think of anything else than this and she knows she might be taking a risk in here. She steps backwards to close her door and it gets Shawn frowning, gasping and blinking rapidly. What the hell is she doing? 
If he could’ve only guessed that some dreams can come true sometimes... 
“Mendes, don’t freak out, okay?” She looks at him worriedly and his grin is filled with doubts. He thought she was joking about his study routine or whatever happened a few seconds ago. But when he sees that her face ain’t changing to something more playful, he gulps once more. “You’re gonna have to do this in anyways in the final exam and, since you can’t even name things correctly, there’s no other way to do this. Tell me if you don’t wanna do this and I’ll stop.” She finishes and grabs the knot of her robe. In one fluid motion, she undoes it and the black fabric is pooling down around her feet. Right now she’s not thinking about her crush on him, she’s not trying to get him moaning her name. No. She’s trying to get anatomy inside his head because she’s been there before and she knows that, if he touches the wrong places, Sally is definitely not going to give him any other chances. There’s no dirty in here, there’s no seduction. She’s offering to a test just like she offered her veins once; or like when he let her feel his temperature and see if his throat was sore.  “What are you doing? Y/N, seriously...” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Cover up, you don’t need to do it for me.”  “Is that what you want? I’ll do if you’re feeling awkward on doing this,” She reassures him and catches her robe from the floor. “But I want you to know that I’m okay with it. It’s totally up to you.”  Shawn can feel his limbs turning into cold stones and his leg starts to shake uncontrollably. He feels like someone just threw a ball on fire to him and he knows he’s got the opportunity to put the fire down. He just doesn’t know how.  “C-Can you... like...” He rubs his face, still not looking at her (who’s covering her front with the robe now) and tries to make a smart decision. “Get under your covers so I... can... t-touch you without looking at you?”  “Is this going to make you feel more comfortable?”  “Y-Yes.”  “I’ll try to guide you then.” 
An inconvenient silence takes over the place and it had never been so annoying. He gets up, turning his back to her and she goes under her blanket, trying to feel less unsuited.  “Hold on. I’ll wash my hands before... you know...”  “Second door to the right.” 
A few minutes later, Shawn is back and not so afraid. She looks at him and sees that his hairline is wet, he might probably had splashed some water on his face before returning.  “Are you okay?” She asks, feeling her chest heaving in concern.  “I’m good,” He closes the door with his foot and keeps his hands in the air, away from any object. “Sure you wanna keep going? You don’t have to-”  “I’m sure,” She nods and he sits at the end of the bed. “With that I’m even feeling like a real patient now.” She points at his hands with her chin and chuckles bending her knees. He follows her and giggles too. He can’t even believe how amazing she is, he feels like nothing in this world can gift her enough for being this good to him.  “You can, like, start from my pubic bone and then you can say what you remember, you know?” She incentivates him. “When you get to touch those parts we were seeing down in there, you’ll tell me what it is and what is it for.”  He nods and she shifts her body up closer to the headboard, making some space for him to come forward and slip one hand under the blanket.  “Don’t you want me to wear gloves?”  “I’m out of gloves in here but I don’t really mind.” She says and he’s just going with her flow. “Showed you my exams before the tests, so you also know that I don’t have anything you should worry about.”  She’s giving him so many reasons to leave his nervousness behind that he’s feeling like he’d forgotten for a moment that, on top of it all, they’re still friends. They’re not strangers. They should count on each other and this is what she wants him to do, this is what he wants her to do.  “Go on, I trust you.” Her sweet tone reaches his ears and he smiles at her, so happy to know that she’s there for him and, more than anything else, she sees in him a person that she can trust. It’s just priceless.  “And I trust you,” Shawn responds and she smiles back at him, feeling more comfortable against her pillows. “Excuse me.” He asks before touching her and she nods in confirmation, allowing him to go on. Shawn knows that this is not his body, so he must have her approval and excuse to touch her.  His palm is softly sliding along the expansion of her shin to her knee and inner thigh, looking her deep in the eyes, attentive to any sign that she’s not liking it so he can stop. He wants to show her that he doesn’t wanna hurt her or do something harmful, so he rubs his thumb from side to side, caressing her and showing that he’s being so careful. She looks at her own ceiling, trying to keep her breathing calm and remain herself that she suggested it, so she must stay true to her pure intentions and leave her dirty thoughts locked and forbidden.  He reaches the spot she told him to look for. He stops moving when he gets there and waits for her to give him another permission.  “What’re you touching?” She asks.  Shawn gets it as a chastise and lifts his hand up, widening his eyes. She slips her arm under the blanket and places it back to where it was, making him gulp and miss a heartbeat.  “I’m not asking you to leave, Mendes,” She laughs. “I’m asking you what’s this specific spot you’re touching right now. This is still a test.”  His eyes are still wide as ever, comprehending her words and looking for the answer in his mind.  “The pubic mound... Okay...” He answers more to himself and tries to remember the words she made him take notes about. “It’s... a fibroadipose tissue that stays on top of the bone and it divides into the labia majora on either side of the pudendal cleft.”  “Very good,” She praises and he smiles, actually wanting to scream in happiness for answering correctly and in tension, because her words made his nerves sparkle somehow. ‘Just breathe’ he says to himself as a mantra. “You can feel it if you want to.”  The tips of his fingers press lightly against it, choosing random spots to feel and then he lets go of it. He can read about it in the books where his gravity is going to be centered.  “Should I keep going?” He asks.  “Yes, please.” 
Oh God, not please.
Both of them getting a type of disquietude after this word in particular.  She didn’t mean to say it, she knows that ‘please’ doesn’t even fit correctly to the moment but somehow it escaped from her lips nearing a state of beg. She couldn’t let him know. This is still forbidden.  He swallows harshly and moves down slowly, almost reaching his next stop. 
“Okay, stop.” She says and he immediately stays still. “I’m gonna ask you something very embarassing but necessary.”  “...Alright?!...” Shawn eyes her with concentration, trying to understand if he did something wrong at any point.  “Lick your finger before touching this next spot,” Unable to look him in the eyes, she asks and covers her face. This makes him comfortable to remove his hand and lick his index finger before she can see him doing it. “You shouldn’t do this to your patients, but I’m very sensitive and when it’s all dry it might hurt a little.”  “Okay,” He gets back to where he was before and sets his hand back down on her. “Was I here?”  “Yup,” She says popping her ‘p’. “You can touch it now.”  His touch is now wet and cold, making her shiver slightly and it glides easily. She removes her hands from her face but keeps her eyes shut to focus on not getting wetter than his finger.  “Clitoris.”  “Nope.”  “No?”  “Try to remember about the first time I yelled at you downstairs.”  “Oh, alright.” He tilts his head down and laughs to himself. His finger is moving so delicately that it’s nearly tickling her heat. She shifts her ankles further just a little so she can see that flushy face of his, eyes now looking up as he tries to find a blank spot where his sight can help his imagination to picture what it looks like as he touches her. “Clitoral foreskin? Clitoral hood?”  “Hood is better.”  “Fine,” He grins. “It’s a mucocutaneous tissue that covers and protects the clitoris. It can fully cover the clit sometimes, but it also can just partly cover it.”  “Thought you’d never get it right, not gonna lie.” She confesses and he moves his pretty greenish eyes to look at her, and she finally reciprocates.  “Thought you trusted me!”  It’s so good to interact as they typically do. It’s so good to feel more normal and less awkard. The two of them could now feel their bodies relaxing and free to get back to joking and playing. Nothing’s really planned for ages before acting, it’s just natural. This is what they were looking for.  His cold calloused finger goes down shortly and she lets a sigh fly from her lips, instantly biting at her bottom one. She writhes sparsely, trying not to do what she’d normally do if they weren’t studying.  “Clitoris? Is it here?”  “M-hm.” “Erectile nub placed at the top of the vulva. It has around 8.000 nerve endings and blood supply. Would you mind if I see it?”  She shakes her head in denial and grabs the cover up to reveal her lower half, making it rest on her stomach.  Shawn takes his finger away for a moment to see the little nub and memorize where it is. He thinks he’d never seen something so beautiful in his life; he never thought it’d look this beautiful.  Totally compelled, he licks his digit again and touches her clit, differently from before. Now, he’s softly drawing tiny circles around it and she accidentaly moans lowly. The tip of his finger is sliding so deliciously that she couldn’t even notice the time when she showed such weakness.  “If you keep doing like this, you’re gonna turn me on and-”  “How sensitive is it?” He cuts her off and, to be honest, he wasn’t even listening. All of his concentration got directed to her clit, now swelling under his control.  “What?”  “How sensitive is it? With so many nerve endings, it must be really delicate. Isn’t it?”  She’s not quite understanding.  Shouldn’t he know this already? Or was he one of those guys who never finds a clit during sex?  “It’s sensitive enough to get me excited,” She warns but it’s not like he’s giving a single damn right now. “But if you press it hard, then it’ll hurt me bad. Like... you can add a little bit more of pressure...”  And he immediately does, watching the way his finger works carefully but performing firmly now. She exhales strongly, trying so hard not to lose her shit.  “A little bit more...” She demands and he obeys. Where is this going? She can’t answer herself now that this feels so good. His touch rounding her clit, sometimes going from side to side and he takes his time feeling all the extension of it. “Don’t go further than this, otherwise it’ll only harm me.”  This amount of pressure was just perfect for her taste. Shawn doesn’t even know about this, but he keeps going and he even leans closer to see it better. Now there was no hell, it was just heaven. Heaven in the way her face contorts everytime he hits the center of her clit; heaven in the way her chest is moving up and down, trying not to lose the pattern of her respiration; heaven in the way her eyes squinted – but no completely – peeking at him with some struggle. He stops eyeing her heat, saving the last information he got from it and looks at her, eyes practically dark.  “Let’s move on to-”  “Can I put my mouth on it?”  Her jaw falls.  Such a question she didn’t know she needed to hear today.  She knew she wanted to, but never knew she needed it so bad.  “Are you asking to eat me out, Mendes?” For a minute there, she thinks she’s dreaming. Dreaming wildly. She promptly supports her body on her elbows and tosses her blanket away from her body.  “I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry,” It’s like a force pushed him back to earth. He felt so intoxicated by her that his attention flew out to somewhere else. “I’m such a-”  “Do it.”  “What is it?”  “Do it,” She insists. Can’t miss the chance, can’t have him going back now. Not now. “You want it?” He nods kind of desperately. “Then show me what you can do.” She tilts her head to the side and smirks at him. His mouth forms an ‘o’ shape. Jesus Christ, she can get him around her finger so easily that he feels lucky that he was the one to get her around his finger previously. But how is he supposed to do this?  He decides to get started by kissing the inner part of her leg, planting wet kisses along her smooth skin and it feels so satisfying to have her skin exposing goosebumps under his touch. He’s getting closer and she sighs so sweetly that he’s hoping he’s doing the right thing.  The scent of her is driving him crazy, he can’t wait to know the taste.  “I-” He starts that old speech of explanation. He doesn’t want to but he feels like he needs to be honest with her and tell that he’s still a virgin. Lost and anxious to find himself. Find her.  “I know. I’ll guide you, don’t you worry about that.”  She’s just perfect. There’s no better definition inside his mind right now. He’s the opened book she loves to devour every single page of, absorbing the details and letting herself get immersed. She arranges her body on her bed to give him more space to lay down on his stomach and between her parted legs. When he finishes his trail of wet and hot kisses, she stands in one shoulder as her other arm goes to reach his brown curls that she loves so much.  “You can kiss it first,” She directs him. “See what it feels like against your lips and oh,” She moans because he wasted no time on licking his lips and kissing her clit. “G-Get yourself used to it, take your time to adjust yourself, no need to hurry.” But she didn’t really mean that. She does need the hurry, ‘cause she might collapse from this torture at any second.  Shawn tries the kissing, doing it from her clit and covering every inch of her lower lips then going back to the smaller ones. Over and over again, until he gets kinda bored. He wants to make her squirm like she said before in the kitchen. He wants to put his daydreams to a proof as quick as possible.  “You’re so wet,” He notices and is unaware of the effect it had on her. Her glistening pussy is inviting him and he wants to live in this for the rest of his days. He knows he has no experience, but this time, he doesn’t wait. He sinks his head down on her and his tongue is flattening against her heat to lick a stripe from her entrance to her clit, covering her with his mouth in order not to miss a single inch. And fuck she tastes so fuckin’ good. Nothing compared to his imagination.  “Oh my God,” Another moan slips out and she drops her head backwards, gotten my surprise. “That’s it...”  He embraces her thighs and her ankles are now resting on his back. His head buries in her pussy and she returns to look at him. It’s the best view in the world. Cheeks flushed and eyes closed, looking so serene and enjoying the taste of her like he never did with anything else. Shawn pulls her hips closer to him, growing hungrier and obsessed with this moment.  “Shawn!” She calls out and giggles, thinking that he’s also in the mood to play.  Not now.  “How hard can I suck you?” He pulls away, not going very far just to breathe and ask her.  “Hard enough to show me how bad you want me, not hard like a crazy animal would probably do.”  He groans against her heat and frowns in what he thinks it must be suffering. How can she get him so fragile to her? He feels his head spinning and she hasn’t even touched him back yet.  “What are you doing to me?” Shawn whispers, thinking out loud. He drags his tongue up and down against her boldly, mixing the wetness of his tongue with her wetness and it’s slow, painfully slow. She tugs his hair when she feels that tingling sensation down on her entrance and it spurs him on to try his first suction.  He does, giving her the best job he could do for the first time in his life.  “Close your mouth a little and suck harder.” She recommends and he promptly does. His lips are wrapped around her bundle of nerves as he licks her before, tongue gliding in circles and he’s keeping his tongue relaxed, what makes her see stars with this pleasant sensation. It’s so smooth and so tender that she’s afraid she’s going to pass out from the pleasure. He tries sucking for the second time and earns the perfect reaction from her: toes curling, eyes rolling to the back of her head and she gasps, body giving up against the mattress. She feels her clit throbbing and the way he sucks it is pushing her over the edge. It’s wet, it’s warm and so precise. “Fuck Shawn, fuck!” Her lungs are supplicating for air and she makes a good effort to look down at him again – eyeing her through his eyelashes – and, although he’s still finding a way to please her, he knows he’s being good, so he gives her a devilish smile. “Keep doing like this, baby, don’t stop...”  That’s it for him.  He tries to suck her again. It’s long he’s deliberately repeating series of suctions, having her crying out in her bed and arching her back. He tests it harder and faster and her hands instantly fly to grab his curls. Her moans are gradually turning into frantic screams and she’s trembling. Shawn Mendes never imagined he could get his friend shaking hectically with his mouth on her heat, sucking and licking her with his whole body and soul. His member is so hard inside his sweatpants but he doesn’t care, as long as she’s enjoying it, then he didn’t need something more. And he thinks she looks impossibly prettier with her beautiful lips parted to free her whimpers, sometimes smirking down at him to tease him; hair getting messier than her body quivering and being stopped by his large hands, caressing the sides of her waist and traveling down to the sides of her bum and legs, holding them forcefully so she wouldn’t escape from his touch.  “Shawn,” She gulps before moving on, throat dry from moaning uninterruptedly. “Pull away, I’m gonna come.”  With her clit gently tugged between his plump red lips, he shakes his head from side to side in denial lazily and it’s a new sensation to her, so so so good that her vision gloes blurry. Shawn just revealed himself not only stubborn in his studies but also in bed, and she’s so eager to dominate him like this...  He remembers about all the things they should be studying right now and maps her core to find her entrance with his index finger. Just as she taught him, he licks the digit and thrust it inside of her as soon as he finds it, bringing his mouth back to her clit to suck rapidly as his finger moves slowly. She fights back a loud scream, covering her mouth as she feels her pussy aching deliciously, searching for its release.  “Can you take two?” Shawn feels her walls squeezing his finger and doubts that she can keep another one.  “Yes, please.” She says through gritted teeth and it’s good to give this word the real meaning she wanted to give before. He pushes another finger into her and she moans once more, she doesn′t know how long she can wait. He thrusts the fingers so gingerly, not sure about what to do and what pace to pick. Was he hurting her?  “You’re so tight...” He comments so innocently, he thought that it wouldn’t be this constricted. He starts to imagine how heavenly his cock would feel hugged by her dripping pussy.  “Mendes,” She says under her breath. “I need you to go faster.”  “Like this?” He picks up his rhythm shyly.  “More.”  His digits are covered in her juices and moving with ease. She feels that knot on her stomach tightening and about to explode.  “More.” She begs and broken sobs are slipping past her lips. He goes deeper, fingers completely disappearing inside of her. “Right there! Oh, right there,” He finds her spot and her eyes roll to the back of her head once more, making Shawn dig the nails of his free hand into the skin of her thigh and suck at her bundle of nerves as fast as his fingers are working now. “Do it like this.” She can’t raise her hand right now to show due to her weakness but Shawn’s eyes are quick to find her fingers moving in a ‘come here’ motion and he immediately gives it to her. He can’t comprehend exactly where he’s taking her, but when she stops moaning and her legs starts shaking, he understands it. She’s feeling every inch of her core pulsating as her orgasm washes over her body and he can’t believe he just made her come. His fingers are slowing down and he pulls his mouth away, looking at her body coming down of her high. He removes his fingers slow and carefully and gives one last lick, catching what she released, and one last suck, her back arching for the last time.  He waits for her to settle down and get back to her senses before doing anything else. And when she does, she glances at him and silently invites him to come closer.  “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” She taps his strong chest as he crawls over her, knees supported by the mattress under her parted thighs and upper half covering her front. He must be kidding.  “Not really...” He vents, embarassed but glad that he provided her something nice. “But did... Did this just ruin what we have?”  “I honestly couldn’t care less if it did,” She spits out and he fears her next words. “I couldn’t fucking wait to have you like this since the very first day we spoke.”  “Would it be weird if I told you I feel the same way?”  “Nope. But that’s something you can save for later,” She pulls him by the shirt and pecks his lips, savouring the taste of herself on his lips. “I wanna make you feel good first. What do you think about that?”  “Glad you finally asked.” 
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mihanada · 4 years
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Heaven Official’s Blessing Liveblog
As promised, a liveblog of Heaven Official’s Blessing! I am treating this as my first read through past Chapter 21. I do know a lot of the major plot lines, but I will try my best to keep any spoilers out of the entire thing since this cannot be considered a re-read.
This novel is long, so it may be the case that I liveblog more than one chapter at a time in the future!
Chapter 1: Heaven Official’s Blessing
I really, truly think the first chapter is both unnecessarily dense and suitable for the type of story this grand tale will turn out to be. The scope of the first chapter is huge and treated like both a fairytale and a historical account, which is TGCF in a nutshell. It may suit the story to come, but it also means that I dropped this novel twice without making it past the first chapter. It’s worse than Scum Villain because it isn’t confusing really: it’s somewhat of a dry read. A lot happens that I knew I wouldn’t remember if and when it became relevant again, which makes this novel good to reread, but hard to pick up.
[“I want to save the common folks!”]
A kind-hearted and earnest crown prince may not be my favorite main character archetype, but it has truly been so long since I’ve seen it in western fantasy (not to say there still aren’t novels with this character archetype, but none of the ones I’ve read or seen circulating have one as the MC) that I am much more open to seeing one now. Although the first section of this chapter is a glowing review of His Royal Highness the Crown Prince, the “famous laughing stock” of the three realms sets you up to say “alright, now how is this about to all go horribly wrong”, so there’s that.
Actually, MXTX’s other two novels had a similar thing going on. The first chapter already reveals, to some extent, that the main character has made mistakes in his life and a good part of the story is seeing the nature of those mistakes. I think this is what made me intrigued enough to continue reading her works, or at least go back to it in TGCF’s case.
So, we have a naive and earnest crown prince and the next section relates a story of him performing a ritual to earn good luck for the country. Considering the ancient setting and the xianxia setting, you can understand why the officials flip out when their crown prince derps off to save a child in the middle of it. I wonder if someone dying in the middle of such a ceremony wouldn’t also be ominous? In their perspective perhaps it’s not as bad a thing, but to our crown prince, this isn’t a question at all.
Someone was in trouble, so naturally he should save that child if it’s in his power to do so.
The first interesting point is his stubbornness. Unwilling to commit himself to something untrue (apologizing for saving a child when he isn’t sorry at all), he doesn’t even think of the consequences if the heavens decide to smite him. The officials even tell him that he doesn’t have to fully commit to the apology, just a “gesture” will suffice. Although this makes it seem like the apology really isn’t a big deal, the responsible thing to do as the next ruler of the country would be to just face the wall for a bit and leave it at that - but it’s against his principles, so he won’t.
Even if we weren’t told his age, it’s easy to guess by his words: [“How could the heavens fault me because I did the right thing? Then the heavens would be the ones who are in the wrong. Why should the people who are right apologize to the ones who are wrong?”]
There are so many characters in this novel that it becomes extra important for the dialogue to carry details like this - which not all writers are good at.
[He had never encountered anything he wasn’t able to accomplish, and he had also never met anyone who didn’t love him. He was always right, and he was the heart of the world.] And there is the root of the problem. But I might get back to this later, or else my inner psychology nerd will come out.
(Side note: Out of MXTX’s three MCs, it’s Xie Lian and Wei Wuxian who don’t believe in saving face - and it brings them all sorts of external troubles from society. On the flip side, Shen Qingqiu is so careful about maintaining his image that his personal relationships get neglected and misunderstandings form, which then leads to a good chunk of society willing to shoot him down.)
Next story is a ghost terrorizing a bridge - great symbolism there, and also a trial for our crown prince.
[“This child’s future is limitless, impossible to measure.”] AND YET IT IS ALL GOING TO GO SO WRONG.
[The things he wanted, there was nothing he could not obtain. The things he wanted to do, there was nothing that was impossible for him to accomplish. And when he wanted to ascend into godhood, he really ascended into godhood at age seventeen.] Again, significant to understand his mentality as a 17-year-old. Once you’ve ascended to godhood, a feat some cannot accomplish even after devoting their lives to it, truly the word impossible should not even exist...right?
[...heaven’s godly officials could not meddle according to their wishes. Unless it was a result of demons and ghouls overstepping or violating their boundaries, what happened must be allowed to happen.] Interesting and very important rules. Practical, too. The duties, limitations, and roles that heavenly officials play as gods to the mortal realm are actually quite intriguing, but I think it’ll take a while for it all to reveal itself. For now, it’s removing themselves from two important duties they had in life - loyalty and devotion to one’s country and ancestors/relatives.
And in this section, we read about how it all went wrong - meddling in the war didn’t save his country, and the people ended up resenting him.
[From then on, a martial god known for protection and peace faded away, and a demonic god who attracted disasters was born. 
When people said you were a god, then you were a god. If they said you were shit, then you were shit. Whatever the people said you were, that was what you became.] 
MXTX likes to write about society, particularly these aspects of society. It bears keeping in mind as we progress through the story. It’s all about perspective.
[“Body in the abyss, but heart in paradise.”
Because the one who personally said the phrase had already proved that when his body was in the abyss, his heart was not in paradise.] 
I’ll come back to these lines at some point. But, yeah. A person who has never failed before in his life finally does so, and it’s possibly the most catastrophic of consequences. Looking back at those naive words, though they can be seen as profound, I can also see how they’re somewhat pretentious and at one’s absolute lowest, may seem impossible to live up to.
[Now that he was banished twice, would he become a demon and retaliate by abusing the common people?] Luckily for heaven and earth, our MC did not go down that route. And everyone kept a close eye on him for a while after that second ascension and banishment, which - kinda creepy, ok. Then they lost track of him because he obviously wasn’t about to wreak glorious havoc against them again, so why bother?
And, finally, we come to the last section and his final ascension! This is why I gave up twice before finally powering through. This whole chapter is basically a history book and it was difficult to get through before knowing anything about the characters, or why the reader should care. But, well, I made it. Eventually. And I’m excited to get past Chapter 21 at last, lol.
(masterpost)
onward →
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otomehonyaku · 5 years
Text
DIABOLIK LOVERS CHAOS LINEAGE | RUKI 5 (ENGLISH)
♥ MASTERPOST (CLICK FOR OTHER CHAPTERS) ♥
Here we are again! Last chapter was a wild ride, wasn’t it? (´∀`) The story is slowly coming together, and there’s loads more good things to come! Enjoy this chapter~
In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending.
WARNING: CG SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT
DO NOT REPOST MY TRANSLATIONS ON TUMBLR OR OTHER PLATFORMS, TRANSLATE MY TRANSLATIONS TO ANOTHER LANGUAGE, OR USE MY TRANSLATIONS IN ANY FORM ELSEWHERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING DOING ANY OF THESE THINGS, PLEASE ASK FOR MY PERMISSION FIRST.
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MONOLOGUE
Ruki, having drunk my blood, completely regained his usual health.
Shin and the others seemed kind of puzzled because of this, but because they’re always following Ruki, who is usually the one to promptly give instructions, they became desperate.
For the several days that passed here, daily life went on as if Ruki’s poor physical condition had only been a lie.
-LOCATION: ORANGE MANSION RUKI’S ROOM-
Yui: Ah, but I'm always the one who makes the bed.
Ruki: Stop giving me that sick person treatment. Besides, it would probably be because you’re anxious to place a poisonous needle in the bedding.
Yui: I-I wouldn’t do such a thing.
Ruki: I know. This room is fine. If you could clean up the living room, then.
Yui: Ah, sure! (Ever since then, I feel like Ruki’s attitude towards me has become even the slightest bit softer.) (If I do these kind of things, he’ll probably forgive me even if I do things to look after him.) (Nevertheless, I've come to spend the night in Ruki's room again...) But, it would be good to stay together in case something happens. Though, of course, it’s kind of embarrassing for this Ruki to let me sleep in the same bed with him... Ah well, being overly conscious will not help me, right? We’re only sleeping, after all.
[T/N Honestly I thought they forgot the brackets in the last couple of text boxes but good ol’ Yui is just talking to herself in front of Ruki lol]
Ruki: I see. Hearing you say that, I suppose you’re talking about having an average sense of embarrassment? 
Yui: Huh!?
Ruki: It’s normal to check whether there isn’t anyone around when speaking your thoughts aloud. It seems like you talk to yourself a lot.
Yui: I-I-I’m sorry. (He heard me!)
Ruki: So? Is there any need to be embarrassed to share a bed with me? Let’s try saying it so you understand.
Yui: N-no, well, that just now was a figure of speech, or what should I call it...
Ruki: You won’t be forgiven if you try to hide anything. So, then... be a good girl and spit it out.
Yui: (But there’s no way I can say it aloud!) I-I’ll go and clean up the living room!
Ruki: Well, she really is a noisy one.
***
MONOLOGUE
Seeing Ruki’s behaviour soften made me really happy.
However, I know very well that Ruki tends so suffer in silence.
No matter how calmly he behaves, I suppose that sometimes, in the shadows, he’s still being plagued by that dizziness.
When I see him in agony as he’s regaining his memories, I can’t say that I feel at ease at all.
***
Yui: (I wonder where Ruki went? I hope he didn’t get dizzy again...) (If drinking my blood is what it takes for him to regain his memories, then I want him to drink my blood.) (But I don’t want to see him suffer from that dizziness each time he does. What should I do...) (Hm? I can hear the sound of kitchenware.) (Ah, there he is!) Ruki, are you preparing dinner?
Ruki: Ah, Eve. As you can see, I’m doing the preparations.
Yui: If that’s the case, I’ll help too. It’s more fun to do it together, right?
Ruki: ...I suppose. Fine, I’ll let you help.
Yui: Yeah! Thank you. What are you making today?
Ruki: Pot-au-feu. You, cut the vegetables for me. [T/N Pot-au-feu is a French kind of beef stew, afaik. This is the first time I hear about it in all fairness lol]
Yui: Okay, I’m on it. (So even in this family, Ruki is the one to do the cooking. I wonder if it’s in his blood?) (As expected of him, he’s so skilful.) Ruki, it’s really great that you cook everyone’s meals every day. 
Ruki: It’s nothing special. It’s just become a habit. Come to think of it, I wasn’t able to do anything while I was stuck in my room for several days. 
Yui: (When I think about it, it’s a rare sight, isn’t it? Even in the Mukami’s mansion, I just can’t imagine Ruki locking himself away in his room.) (Those situations in which his memories seem to be returning must be tough...)
Ruki: Right. When I wasn’t able to do anything, who took care of the cooking?
Yui: Huh? It didn’t seem like Shin and the others were eating.
Ruki: Is that so? Even though I’d been telling them to such an extent to eat strictly three meals a day.  Well, it was my mistake to stay in bed. I can’t really blame those guys.
Yui: But, it’s okay for vampires not to eat, right?
Ruki: Those are two different stories. We won’t die if we don’t eat, but we do feel hungry.
Yui: (Ah... really. It must be because out of all of them, Ruki is the only one who was originally human...)
Ruki: What’s wrong? You seem like you want to say something.
Yui: N-no, it’s nothing. (The Mukamis haven’t lost their habits from the time when they were human, and properly sit around the table for every meal.) (Ruki is emulating that habit even here... I wonder if Shin and the others don’t remember their sense of discomfort?) (...So they don’t remember. If they were to think it’s strange, by now each of their memories should be returning.)
Ruki: ...Hm? When I was stuck in bed, what did do for your meals?
Yui: Ah... sorry. I borrowed and used the kitchen utensils on my own accord...
Ruki: ...Is that so?
Yui: (Ah, he’s looking right at me. Could he be angry at me for freely using the ingredients that were already in the house?) U-uh, I’d be happy if you could forgive me, because I ingredients I used worked well for me...
Ruki: ...What are you misunderstanding? I have no intention to blame you. However, if I wasn’t cooking and you were a bad cook, I think I would just forget that you might starve... 
Yui: Starve!? As you would expect, I’m fine, really. There’s also things like bread, and cooking is one of my strong points.
Ruki: Poking one’s nose into livestock’s business is also the task of a master. Things like abandoning one’s professional duties aren’t anything to be praised for, right? I’ll tell you this. To make sure you won’t faint, I’ll give you as much as bait [T/N pet food].
Yui: B-bait... (The way he’s saying it makes me think he wants me to do something for him, but he must be serious, as always.) (Ah... but I wonder if he was worrying about me just now?) (I’m probably just getting my hopes up, but it kind of makes me happy...)
Ruki: Hey. For someone who says cooking is one of their strong points, your hands have stopped, you know. A successful pot-au-feu seems miles away.
Yui: Ah! S-sorry... I’ll cut the vegetables quickly!
Ruki: Don’t hurry. Do it cautiously. I couldn’t stand if you were to even cut your finger.
Yui: O-okay...
*chopping sounds*
Yui: (He’s saying it bluntly, but he’s really softening up towards me compared to before.) (It’s making me happy somehow. I used to cook together like this with Ruki in the Mukami mansion, too.) (I miss those days... Though it feels like it was only a couple of days ago...) (...And next thing I know I woke up in a strange church, and everyone’s memories had become messed up.)  (Why did it come to this, though the least I can do is talk to Ruki if I want to make his memories come back?) 
Ruki: You’re done chopping the vegetables. There’s a hotpot right there, so please bring the water to a boil beforehand. 
Yui: Ah... this hotpot, right? Yeah, I got it.
*sounds of stove being turned on*
Yui: Say, Ruki. Don’t you remember hearing the word... Mukami?
Ruki: Mukami? Never heard of it.
Yui: Yeah...
Ruki: ...However, I feel that it does have a familiar ring to it.
Yui: Ah...! W-what else? Isn’t there anything else you’ve become aware of?
Ruki: Don’t get into it too much now. Is there any meaning to that word?
Yui: There’s an extremely important meaning to that word! Did you hear that name anywhere?
Ruki: I wonder. It probably might have appeared in a book somewhere.
Yui: Ah... I see... (I knew it, it’s no good... even though I thought he might know more because he felt like he remembered something.)
Ruki: So, then, the word Mukami was a name.
Yui: Huh? Why do you know?
Ruki: Didn’t you say it yourself just now? When you asked whether I’d heard the name somewhere before.
Yui: (Ah... the words just slipped... Ruki is sharp, after all...)
Ruki: It’s a name that the Legendary Eve came out with. Before, I would’ve seen you as a key to becoming King...  But it doesn’t seem like that’s what you appear to be.
Yui: Ah... Why do you know that?
Ruki: ...You ask too many questions. If there’s at least some content piled up in your head, why don’t you try using it?
Yui: Y-yeah...
Ruki: Ah, well, I’ll answer you this time. When you were desperately poking your nose into my business, you were mostly telling me things that I didn’t know about. That my memories weren’t right. That this entire situation was strange. All these kinds of things that you were saying.
Yui: Ah... that’s true. I think I was always desperate. (I think he’s at the point that that he wants me to help him remember everything instantly.) 
Ruki: That all of our memories had gone amiss. What value does that nonsense have to you?
Yui: It has an extremely important, irreplaceable value... (At the Mukami’s mansion, everyone was there, lively, and Ruki, who rarely ever laughs, would smile beside me...) (I can see him now, cold and distant, but I know that he’s really kind in reality. Nevertheless--)
Ruki: So, an irreplaceable value...
Yui: ...What’s wrong?
Ruki: No... I just have a slight interest in what we call memories. If I’m saying it correctly, there’s something I’d like to know.  I told you I’d been having strange dreams, right? It’s still going on, even now.
Yui: Ah... (Come to think of it, he has been having nightmares sometimes...)
Ruki: Dreams are often explained to be representations of the subconscious, but if that’s the case, what could this be?
Yui: Ruki...
Ruki: I’ve said something trivial. Let’s get back to cooking.
Yui: Ah, yeah. (What he’s seeing in his dreams is definitely memories from our time at the Mukami mansion...) (Though it seems like he’s almost there, I wonder how I can help him remember...)
*sounds of water boiling over*
Yui: Ah! Oh no, the water...! (I put the fire on too high! I have to remove it from the heat quickly...!)
Ruki: Idiot! Watch out!
*Yui burns her finger*
Yui: Hot...!
Ruki: What are you doing? Is there any hotpot that you can touch just like that?
Yui: I’m sorry... I acted on my thoughts, and suddenly...
Ruki: ...It’s no use. Let me see your finger.
— SELECTION —
    1. 平気だと言う Say you’re fine (black)
Yui: I’m fine. It was just a little hot.
Ruki: Don’t you have any learning ability? I ordered you to let me see. You have no say in this.
Yui: O-okay... (Though by now, he could’ve done without any orders...)
Ruki: It’s gotten red. It won’t be long before it starts hurting.
Yui: If I cool it, it’ll be fine.
    2. 大人しく従う Be good and obey (white)
Yui: It’s only become a bit red, you know? Look.
Ruki: Your fingertip really looks red. Don’t act so surprised despite your foolish behaviour. 
Yui: I’m telling you, I was a bit lost in thought just now, so I don’t do this all the time...
Ruki: I wonder. First of all, I don’t think there’s anything more foolish than getting distracted near an open flame, though. If you don’t take burn wounds seriously, I’ll tell you. The first symptom is your skin gradually starting to hurt—
Yui: Okay, okay! I understand that burn wounds are scary! I’ll cool it right away!
— END OF SELECTION DIALOGUE —
Ruki: Cooling it isn’t bad, but this is a faster way.
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Yui: Ah, Ruki!?
Ruki: Mm...
Yui: Ah... (It’s come to this... Aah, it’s embarrassing...)
Ruki: What are you acting embarrassed for? This will cure it. The saliva of a vampire has healing properties.  If I do this, the burn mark will heal more quickly.
Yui: T-thank you... (But, seeing him kiss my finger right in front of me is embarrassing after all...)
Ruki: ...I see. Just the fact that I’m touching my lips to your fingertip is enough to make that shameful face. 
Yui: I-I’m not making that face!
Ruki: Then, If I continue curing you like this, it wouldn’t bother you?
Yui: Ah... that’s...
Ruki: Watch your fingertips carefully. Mm...
***
EXTRA AUDIO: TOUCH THE SPOTS ON THE SCREEN
(The background on the left) Where are you looking? If you look away, you’ll be really feigning composure. It’s better for you to be looking only at your master.
(Ruki’s mouth) Your blushed cheeks, your glistening eyes... it’s really like you’re inviting me in.
***
Yui: Ah...! (He could’ve done without saying that so freely! If I turn my attention towards him, I’ll just become more embarrassed...) (I want to run, but he’s grabbed me by my hand, so I can’t...!)
Ruki: Even your fingertips feel hot. I told you I’m doing this to cure you, but... What kind of strange things are you thinking?
Yui: N-nothing...
Ruki: Hm... I wonder.
Yui: (T-this is definitely Ruki’s way of doing things...)
Ruki: This is fine. We’re done.
Yui: T-thank you. (That was embarrassing... But still, the spot that he cured looks to have healed nicely.) (When I came to this mansion, I felt that Ruki just kept his hands off of things, but...)
Ruki: Well, that took us some time. Let’s continue preparing dinner.
*rustling sounds*
Yui: (Ah... he let go of my hand.) (The touch of his lips made my heart beat faster, but... his holding my hand made me happy...)
***
MONOLOGUE
Notwithstanding my reluctance to part with his touch, his large hand let go of mine.
Ruki, now his back turned to me, was standing in the kitchen as if he didn’t have any interest in me anymore.
His back somehow felt so far away from me, and I gently touched the finger that he’d kissed. 
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vaguely-concerned · 5 years
Text
TEMERAIRE LET’S READ: BLOOD OF TYRANTS, THE WILLIAM LAURENCE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT NG+ SPEEDRUN
- oh NO LAURENCE D:D:D:
I do love that one of his first realizations is that he’s definitely not dutch tho lol this dumbass remembered that he was english before he remembered his own name
- caught between OH NO TEMERAIRE (and it’s only page 9 it’s going to be one of those books huh) and laughing my ass off at the thought of him swooping into notoriously isolationist japan and yelling ‘HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY DAD???’
- “Yes,” [Laurence] said, unyielding, as he could not be otherwise. ahahahahaha way to summarize the entirety of old school!laurence with one fucking sentence
(I am very much enjoying this uh. ‘setback’ of his character actually? novik really did just roll him back to factory settings and went ‘now... from the top again, let’s see if you’ve been paying attention these last seven books’ haha. no one told me there’d be a test!!!!!!!!!!)
- Kaneko really has the patience and graciousness of a saint, @ laurence please... please try to be marginally less sketchy hm? (I guess his sheer obliviousness to how direly he comes across here must be why kaneko hasn’t dismissed him out of hand)
- y’know... at least laurence is in no position to have to worry about all this shit temeraire and the others are pulling. when people start talking about black-scaled celestials shaking the country to its very foundations he’ll be blissfully, innocently unaware. that’s something, I suppose... well who am I kidding we’ll 100% get a couple of paragraphs of him convincing himself this is all his fault somehow anyway
- . . . and His Majesty’s Government does not behave in such an underhanded a manner as to attack another nation with no warning or quarrel. aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh what a strange beautiful fantasy land you’ve been residing in for most of your life william laurence, hang on tight for the opium wars
- hahaha oh my god this is like a platonic version of that text post
temeraire: have you guys seen my dad??!?!
them: what does he look like?
temeraire, crying: beautiful and human and has gold buttons
- I take it all back old school laurence is such a tremendous idiot. just PRETEND you’re willing to cooperate at least you huge fuckign dummy, all you’d have to do was say something vague about how the ship can’t get too close to shore; it won’t actually help them and they’ll know it but you won’t make yourself look so unspeakably willfully suspicious
-  :( making me read things where temeraire is just hurting should be ILLEGAL actually
- NO LAURENCE STOP TRYING TO KICK LITERALLY EVERY POLITICAL HORNET’S NEST WITHIN REACH BAD BOY he is... a disaster but I love him and fear for him as a son so here I am anyway
- hahahahaha yeah wow laurence it sure would suck if you ever had to commit treason huh death probably would be preferable indeed
b o i
- i like that it took him like a week to even give a single thought to edith lol at least he remains aggressively himself
- I think temeraire basically just invented dragon baby photos and I can’t even think for how darling it is
also every dragon physician is delightful; they fear neither god, man nor huge ass patients who could swallow them in a bite
aw man I love gong su
- ahahahahahahah kiyo is the actual best I can’t breathe
KANPAI INDEED, MY LADY, MY LIEGE, I DON’T CARE WHAT ELSE HAPPENS I WOULD FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH
Laurence was forced to at least moisten his lips in a show of accompaniment, and hope that he had indeed buried Caesar and not praised him, or for that matter raised him from the dead one act too soon; he was not perfectly sure. He did not think he had been this appallingly drunk since he had been a boy of twelve, trying to make good on every toast at his captain’s table. I. am. dying
thank you thank you thank you for the mental image of laurence drunkenly trying to stumble through the ‘friends, romans, countrymen’ speech as well as the entire rest of the play in a one-man performance
- oh no... I would die for junichiro, baby boy who loves his teacher SO MUCH ;____________; aaaaand there are laurence’s adoption instincts, I see, right on time <3 I like how they have had one actual conversation now and laurence is like ‘ah well nothing for it then guess you’ll have to stay on my ship and I’ll have to be your dad now, brash 16 year old child’
junichiro is being Full Teenager about laurence not knowing ~*obvious*~ things and it’s a delight
- y’know this period of japanese history is always portrayed in the west as paranoia and it could probably only be done because the country was a strict military dictatorship at the time... but having read oh, any history book ever, deciding that nope nah don’t think so no europeans ever is the greatest ‘fair enough’ in human history.  (...I guess this series is sort of AU fix it fic of the period in the first place haha)
- seeing temeraire this level of straight out angry is very interesting and also very unsettling
- ooooof whenever laurence almost-remembers temeraire... stab me in the heart why don’t you
- man churki really is the mom friend of these dragons she’s the only one who has a lick of sense
- *laurence, upon clobbering several men with an oar* “Ma’am, I beg your pardon,” Laurence said to the old woman, who was still sitting ramrod-straight in the ferry over the side from him and regarding him with a flat expression of utter disapproval and not the least evidence of fear; he put out a boot over the side and shoved the ferry off with a heave
god this book is just a continual parade of glorious mental images, just this old woman glaring at him like ‘RUDE’ and “Ma’am, I beg your pardon” fdslfhsdlkjh
- I have a lot of sympathy for hammond. imagine having to navigate the extremely delicate diplomatic situation between europe and japan, with the real prospect of a war breaking out over it, while temeraire is looking over your shoulder... real dragon in the glassware shop vibe going on here, i’m sorry about your life hammond
- AUGH laurence just sort-of-remembered emily he just half-remembered he basically has a daughter someone hold me (...junichiro is so so sweet ;___;)
- bwahahaha yeah I’m sure the only reason this impressionable young kid who’s slowly becoming very impressed by you has for sneaking glances at your bare chest is manly appreciation of your battle scars laurence, well done (I mean a supremely understandable innocent teen crush to develop but stay safely out of that, kid; I trust tharkay to survive the sheer field of mayhem around this man only because he’s got like 20 years, extreme competency and a world of cynicism on you)
- aw junichiro :(:(:(
- ...laurence you need to stop making your dragon boi think you’re dead because this is hurting me. my heart lies in sad little pieces on the ground right now. you are stepping on them with tapdancing shoes.
- “I am under an obligation to Junichiro,” [Laurence] said, quietly, “who you must know has aided me for love of you. If I surrender myself and am made prisoner in this way, will your honor be satisfied?”
fdsfhsdkfsdja  *ELMO SURROUNDED BY FLAMES GIF* this is all awful they’re all such good people why must this happen why this  
(what a way to remind me why I love this stupid wonderful man so much tho uuuuuugh)
- “He is a prince of China, and my captain.” “The devil I am,” said Laurence. This might be the funniest heartbreak I have ever experienced
- good job making me cry whenever I read the words ‘principia mathematica’ naomi novik that was real nice of you
- maximus is such a solid bro. not the brightest, but by god a good 80% of that boy’s gigantic body mass is pure heart
- I love the sheer trollishness of just dropping all these hints about whatever’s going on in the US and then moving on like nothing has happened lol at least it’s deeply implied that hamilton squandered his chances at the presidency by pulling his dumb hoe act in this universe too... constants and variables friends constants and variables
- bOY for a moment there I really did wonder if junichiro was going to die, thank god for a quick google to stop my heart from leaping up my throat and out into thin air to shatter yet again on the flagstones beneath
- in unrelated news I recently found out a bit more about the whole historical Situation in Australia at the beginning of Tongues of Serpents (incidentally, by reading Mark Forsyth’s ‘A Short History of Drunkenness’, which is very funny and quite interesting although I can personally testify that the chapter about vikings at least is completely riddled with misunderstandings or straight out factual errors about the mythology, the role of women in society and uh the entirety of how poetry worked so maybe take him with a pinch of salt lol), and now, in retrospect, I have to say Novik does a poor job conveying the sheer hilarity and madness going on at that time. Like. I was quite bored in those first few chapters, whenever Tharkay didn’t have page time. how could you make this incredible spectacular shitshow boring. it should have been easy comedy gold and not just like. misery. oh well great times, let’s return to the book at hand
- I remain utterly devoted to Lady Kiyo. livin’ life, drinking sake, giving no fucks, absentmindedly scoping out the western style ships and starting an entire modern navy for her country, getting some Theater up in here.... truly I would follow her into the jaws of hell itself, safely in the knowledge that she’d find some way to have a good time down there
- kaneko tearing up at laurence promising he’ll take care of junichiro 😭 this is so cruel to me, personally, specifically against my person, I am undone
- I like how the incan dragons are told like ‘don’t pick just one special person; you can love all your humans equally’ while the poor japanese ones are told ‘actually don’t love any of your humans very much at least not more than Honour’ lol they must have so many neurotic dragons running about b/c that when that attachment happens it seems extremely central to their psychology (and considering lady arikawa it’s not like they’re exempt from it, they’re just supposed to repress it to conform)
- laurence desperately trying to work out whether emily’s his daughter without actually asking anyone... delicious
the descriptions of roland’s letters: even more delicious
- temeraire sees the sad remnants of laurence’s robes and ‘hello darkness my old frieeeeend’ starts playing in his head... too bad laurence isn’t really in a position to experience the relief
- He is very much a one-note character, but O’Dea’s resolute dedicated fatalism is extremely funny
- hahaha poor temeraire... when you try to introduce bae to the family and they insist on being TOTALLY EMBARRASSING god
- The guilt of having caused pain to one deserving only consideration at his hand mingled with unanswered disquiet. I’m bawling laurence’s dad instincts are so pure and good even tho everything’s a bit messed up right now. like this whole paragraph is so powerful b/c you can see laurence’s natural loving impulse at war with his dad’s cold authoritarian parenting style and because his lived experience is removed he doesn’t know what is right.............. oh b o y
- oh okay I see my earlier comment about the opium wars proves unexpectedly prophetic
- it cannot be overstated how much I love junichiro or how happy I am that laurence is being so soft and patient with him. this kid has Been Through some shit
- emily roland shoulder to shoulder with laurence killing fools and he never doubts her for a moment... *chef kiss emoji*  
- the problem with these books is that there are just so many good characters and so many of them don’t get any real page time in any given one -- I’m sitting here plaintively like ‘I realize this is not the most pressing issue right now but how is demane and sipho doing. are they okay. does sipho have enough books’
- ouch memory loss isn’t stopping laurence from flashing back to victory of eagles :(
there’s something so disconcerting about knowing why laurence reacts to things the way he does when he doesn’t; novik is using that very efficiently, this is a very satisfying use of amnesia just from a writer’s POV haha
- I like how none of these suckers really have the tools (or in some cases even inclination) to understand how messed up junichiro’s political situation is in all this
they just expect him to come home to britain with them and meanwhile he’s just found out that The greatest threat to his nation (from his POV I mean china/japan relations irl seem uh complicated) has more dragons in one field than he’s ever seen in his life. it’s a rough and lonely deal being this kid in this book
- oh ouch yes hey there laurence there might have been... a little bit of treason. true. extremely justified treason tho. I mean. oh dear
we don’t have tharkay and his unique mix of deep cynicism, incisive sarcasm and surprising depth of concise moral clarity here to assist with the aftermath so this could get  u g l y
- listen what did I SAY about making me read about temeraire being miserable     :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
- SIPHO!! hey baby boy pls have some thought for your brother’s cardiac health tho
- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw the fact that laurence is getting out of this crisis so much quicker this time because of his bone-deep instinctual knowledge of how much he loves temeraire, which doesn’t need specific memories to be true and felt. god. jesus. stars above
- laurence: approaches little
little: gay panic
- [Laurence] groped after the truth of himself like a prisoner in Plato’s cave, watching shadows. *clenches fist with great emotion* fuck naomi novik why must you be such an excellent goddamn writer im in pain
- oh hay arkady
poor poor temeraire feeling like a failure in every way is so awful but also kind of funny. ‘oh shit arkady’s egg oh fuck oh crap’
- I LOVE that hammond is so clearly and repeatedly shown to be a very astute political thinker and working shit out before everyone else! he may be a dumbass and a bit of a weasel but by god he’s great at what he does!
- laurence wouldn’t have changed anything if he could u guise. I . that. hm. oh
- thARKAY
.........arkady I am only a human and a small one at that but I will find some way to climb up there and wring your neck
(how cute is it that apparently jane roland realized she needed someone to find laurence and was like ‘well I need someone who can take care of themselves and knows the area and speaks dragon and Understands the chaotic ways of william laurence and also has looked uncharacteristically like a kicked puppy at the very mention of his name ever since being forced to leave him behind in australia.... hey tharkay you want a job’ fhkjshdfkalhsd)
- I’m very glad I googled ahead and spoiled myself a bit on this, because if I just read this part fresh I would have expired on the spot
- MISSION GET MY BOY BACK SAFE FOR GOD’S SAKE is a go
- general chu is pretty cool for an old dude you feel me
- . . . and Laurence knew him; knew him and knew himself.
ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha
hahahahahahahhahahahaha
hahahahhha
haha
what... what pure undiluted soulmate nonsense is this. what. how. WHY would you do this
- I think I said something offhandedly in my victory of eagles reactions about how tharkay makes laurence remember who he is. I. thought I was exaggerating slightly for dramatic effect at the time. um wow
- I am having the sort of feelings about I need to write fiction about because my ability to express it any other way is failing me. That’s just about the highest praise I could give, really, Novik sure knows how to plant interesting seeds in her stories lol
- for the record this is not how I wanted him to end up in laurence’s bed
(im not thinking too much about how he got hurt b/c if I do I’ll start crying and that’ll just be embarrassing for everyone)
- “I hope you will forgive my mentioning it, Will,” Tharkay said, eventually, rousing Laurence from his reverie. “ -- I recognize there is a certain pot-calling quality to my doing so under the circumstances, but have you noticed that the top of your head appears likely to come off?”
a) my love for him is just. so pure. so complete. so deep b) consistent first name basis; the one sure way to make me swoon c) the implication that he’s just been quietly watching laurence while he was lost in thought... im so soft
- oh god laurence very gently helping out demane and roland because he remembers now....... i cry and my tears are blood welcome back buddy
- “I am of the opinion,” Tharkay said, “that you ought not assign to free will something more likely the consequence of a sharp blow to the skull.”
he truly is the gift that keeps giving. an endless cornucopia of sarcasm and delight. we do not deserve him.  
- [The man he was eight years ago] would not have valued his own feelings, on such a matter, higher than the law and the discipline of the service. *AIRHORN AIRHORN AIRHORN* there we have it folks that’s literally his character arc spelled out, he would have done SO MUCH BAD SHIT because he thought his own feelings didn’t matter and yet he chose another direction, stupendous, brilliant, revolutionary
also him trying to get his support across to both of them in as roundabout and discreet way as possible... laurence you beautiful disaster
- im just so happ. so happy. so happy temeraire has his dumb dad back
- oh so the russians think the BRITISH, of all people, are too soft on their dragons... ruh-roh
- sdfskadlfj yes good tharkay the ROBES (also the implied depth of fond schadenfreude-tinged amusement contained in that ‘those particularly magnificent robes’.... *prayer hands emoji*)
laurence is like ET TU BABE?????
I think this is very delicate gong su speak for ‘please do not be a dumb bitch your majesty’
hahaha chu knows what’s up -- I am growing desperately fond of him, please don’t have him suffer any cop-one-day-from-retirement style accident
- “If I may cut your Gordian knot,” Tharkay said, with a glint in his eye. fdsklfhsdkflhdsakjfhdskjh remember back in black powder war when he was all closed off and phlegmatic and purposefully distant... and here he is... with a glint in his eye and a crazy ass plan that requires other people and that he actually shares before pulling it off and calling laurence by first name in public......... we’ve come so far
- Also this means he’s close enough to Laurence’s height and build that he can wear his clothes without it looking weird, which is nice to know because Laurence is sometimes more preoccupied with describing what men are wearing than, y’know, what they look like lol. (probably not quite as broad in the shoulders, tho, since it’s pointed out every time laurence is described that he has shoulders like a linebacker)
- temeraire: eXCUSE me god didn’t do this the emperor of china did???!?! rude???
- pffffffffff tharkay and chu being jaded world-weary bros for a second there... this is what I read these books for folks
- NOOOOOOOOOOO chu this is the one thing I asked you NOT to do D: temeraire being sad and scared about it is slowly murdering me, thank god laurence is back online for him
- dunno this napoleon dude sounds pretty great and all but this also sounds suspiciously... like trying to invade russia in the winter time. immovable force and unstoppable object or something. I mean I don’t read history so I don’t know. might be a great idea. who’s to say.
- I see that tharkay and laurence have reached the ‘communicating complex information solely through eyebrow movements’ stage of their relationship. *drinks this excellent excellent OTP juice with both hands*
- god I love how cool temeraire!napoleon is, in a strangely believable way. he’s just so weirdly charismatic and novik is SO GOOD at setting up a situation so you understand just how brilliant a move he’s made whenever he seems to be backed into a corner and turns it all around. I kind of want him to win at this point (though tbf all of europe fucking sucked at this time so like he doesn’t have to doll it up TOO much to look better by comparison haha)
- boooyyyy Laurence is P I S S E D (also him being like ??? :D that the general basically agreed with him lol)
ALSO also the fact that laurence does not realize that he’s like the fucking horror story all the major authorities around the globe tell each other at night... fjksdfhsdkjlhf
ah russia. truly consistently one of the most shit places to be a peasant or apparently a dragon through so much of history.
- junichiro Y__________Y no wonder laurence is so protective of him, he’s finally met someone as stubbornly stupidly ~*honorable*~ as himself. godspeed bb boy I wish you only the best even though I know your story line is never properly brought up again
- I ship... roland and demane... so much. like with my heart. she’s so young and earnest and curious and misses him so much and casually scandalizes alice about it fsjdakfjhds
- well I mean. dragons eating people is clearly not  g r e a t  but also... karma. y’know?
- this is a lot of words to use to convey the sentiment ‘oh they are all so fuuuuuuuuuuuuucked’ naomi novik
(feels a little like she wrote herself into a corner here tho -- she’s set up such an impossible situation, in RUSSIA in the WINTERTIME, that I’d need a hell of a lot of convincing to believe they get out of it)
- aaaah okay I really enjoyed this one too, especially the first half! I feel like this series is often at its most inspired when it sticks to a tighter character focus (for example I still vividly recall the part in the first book where Laurence stays in his father’s house and it’s Bad. relatedly........ F U C K lord allendale), and this brought that in spades. I love this series so much, it’s shamefully underappreciated in the speculative fiction world.
also it brought *me* to my knees with a simple “Tenzing,” [Laurence] said, which... holy shit. fuck. damn. that’s my personal recommendation of this book, tbh, even beyond my wish for this series to be more appreciated within the genre: Tharkay was there and it was very gay and non-obnoxious soulmate vibes???? I never even thought it could be done but here we are
This is probably going to be my last reaction thingy for the foreseeable future, since my local library doesn’t have book 9 and honestly... having read a few summaries of what happens in it I’m not that keen on reading it? That’s not the ending to this story I want, so I’ll just live over here in denialville, I-realize-the-author-made-the-choice-to-not-make-further-use-of-Lien-AKA-THE-coolest-antagonist-in-this-series-and-indeed-did-not-wrap-up-numerous-character-arcs-or-plot-lines-but-I-don’t-like-this-choice-so-I’ll-ignore-it
(actually I do sort of appreciate the idea of not having one grand final duel or something, because that’s not how it usually works in real life, but that she’d just shrug and not mercilessly hunt for the revenge she’s so clearly motivated by when everything she loves is falling apart around her again... that’s too much of a letdown to bear, really)
let me just... live in willful ignorance and pretend anything could happen from this point onward haha.
- let me give a final shout out to my boy gong su, who’s been hanging around since book 2 (!) and yet we do not know One Single personal detail about him for certain except that he sure knows how to handle knives. that’s some good spy shit right there, he knows what he’s about
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languidbones · 5 years
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Scorose Shipping Challenge
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Just a bit of random fun. Stole this from @samesanegirl​ - apparently it’s really old but I thought, well why the hell not. If you’re into Scorose, feel free to answer these too – would love to read your response :D
1. When did you start shipping Scorose?
Early 2015, which is late af! But I was very on-and-off with the pairing (was into other fandoms at the time). I believe Cursed Child was released a year after I started to ship Scorose.
2. Favorite ship name: Scorose or Rosius?
Scorose. Nothing against Rosius – though it does sound like it could be the name of another Slytherin boy, doesn’t it?
3. Would you like J.K. Rowling to write a book about the next generation?
No. I did like Cursed Child for what it was, but based on what’s happening with Fantastic Beasts, I do think she should leave the magnificent HP universe alone now.
4. What is your favorite Scorose fan fiction, and what is it about?
I actually stopped reading Scorose fanfiction the moment I started writing them, because I have the tendency of not writing at all once I go on a reading binge. I just regret not bookmarking the ones I really loved, because I read too many to count! The one that still stands out in my mind in the sea of fic I did read is The Hospital Bed Monologue by Graeliars. It’s absolutely wonderful.
5. Which Houses do you believe that Scorpius and Rose would be sorted into? The same or different ones?
Slytherin Scorpius and Gryffindor Rose is a classic combination. But it’s interesting to imagine them in different houses for the fun of it, just to see what unexpected stories can come from those.
6. How do you think their relationship would evolve? Would they start off as friends, or start off as enemies?
I apologise for being a borefest, but I actually quite like the traditional friends-to-lovers trope, though this pairing is definitely capable of a compelling love/hate dynamic. In my mind, however, it’s not the starting point that matters; the story is always found in their differences. I’ve always loved the thought of them being completely indifferent to each other at the start, before friendship somehow happens... and then the attraction just hits them over the head like a Bludger! On the other hand, I’m also partial to the simple idea of Scorpius obsessing over Rose for a long time ala Cursed Child, before finding some (either hilarious or romantic) way of letting her know properly.
7. Say one of your personal headcanons.
Delinquent Scorpius has a crush on bookworm Rose, and she’s literally the only reason he goes to the library. It’s completely unoriginal and a total cliche... I hope to write it eventually rofl.
For some reason, I have the impression that Rose is an uncommonly sincere person, and that Scorpius – no matter what his behaviour – was raised to have beautiful manners.
8. Do you have a favorite Scorose video?
Ah, no. I much prefer the fan art.
9. Name a few songs that remind you of Scorose.
Old Fashioned by Bruno Major perfectly conveys the type of romance I see Scorose evolving into. Four Walls by Broods was also one of the first songs I associated with the pairing :)
10. Name some of your pet peeves in Scorose fan fictions.
- Pointless miscommunication. Or a character being obtuse even if something is blatantly obvious. If a matter can be easily solved with a conversation, solve it with a conversation and move on!
- Lack of female friendships for Rose, and showcasing other girls as unreasonably jealous, mean or bitchy.
- Sex without intimacy. Though this can definitely be hot if written well.
- One-dimensional Albus :(  And in the same vein, unreasonable!Ron or cheerful!Draco.
- I hate the idea of Scorpius dating anyone else in the Potter-Weasley clan in a Scorose fic, ie. Lily or Dominique or whoever else.
- Constant focus on “Who are you dating??” in a fic gets old really quick, for me at least. I like it when we learn about Rose and Scorpius’ lives beyond their love lives.
- Rose being described as ‘one of the boys’ or ‘not like other girls’ – this saddens me the most, probably. She comes from a family full of strong, brilliant women. Of course she respects her own gender, and absolutely proud to be ‘one of the girls’.
11. Who do you think they were friends with?
Rose is definitely best friends with Albus and close to Lily. She and Hugo are cutely protective of each other. She’s really social, and is happy to have a large circle of friends beyond family.
An Albus/Scorpius friendship is practically a requisite. I do also like the idea of loner!Scorpius, or generally him just being choosey af about who he associates with. #standards
12. What personality do you reckon Rose would have?
Rose is wildly intelligent, but she isn’t book-smart the way Hermione is – rather, it’s her imagination and curiosity that defines her. She might fail a subject she has zero interest in, yet be the go-to expert on some hilariously obscure topic. Ron definitely treats her like the centre of his world, and Hermione will teach her well – as a result, Rose is affectionate, warm-hearted and well aware of her own worth. Her parents’ constant verbal sparring may also see Rose playing peacemaker from childhood, which makes her a bit of a supporting character in her own household... a role I see her accepting with grace and good humour. 
13. What personality do you reckon Scorpius would have?
Scorpius’ childhood is fraught with opposing socio-political views from his parents and grandparents, and therefore he learns early on that he has to be vocal in order to defend what he believes in. Has the temper of a mad man, and the most tender of hearts. Thanks to Astoria, he has lovely manners; thanks to Draco, he does have a taste for the finer things in life. He’s deeply intriguing to others, but is reserved and hard to know – possibly his way of avoiding misunderstandings, as others aren’t likely to give Malfoys the benefit of the doubt. But once you win his friendship or love, he is loyal to a fault... and would move entire worlds to protect you. Also, as random as this is – I just see Scorpius as the sort who has a thing for expensive cars, and has zero qualms walking into a Ferrari showroom to buy something he doesn’t yet know how to drive.
14. Is Scorose a ship you’d typically ship (do you have ships that are similar to Scorose?) or are they unique to you?
This is so embarrassing but I literally die for the Bad Boy and Good Girl trope, which sometimes seeps into the way I write Scorose... I also ship Rey/Kylo Ren (Star Wars), for example. I used to adore Lily/James, but that was before we got to know James better in canon (and I’m not such a huge fan of that portrayal). I did also like Harry/Ginny a lot when I was younger. Maybe because I relate to her type of anxieties around a long-time crush.
15. Recommend a good Scorose blog (if you know one).
@scorpiusrose for sure. She’s like an encyclopaedia of Scorose fic, and half the reason I always give up on making reccs... just visit her lol.
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