#making chicken like im a potion master....
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It ends today. [Dream SMP] summary (not liveblog because im tired, but i’ll try to include more good lines and moments)
word count: 3,638
ill be writing the timestamps without : things because im lazy, theyll all have 5 numbers, so the timestamp at an hour, 12 minutes, and 4 seconds would be 11204. you’ll figure it out.
total death count by techno or his dogs: 25. doesn’t count fall damage deaths or wither deaths
(04045 Quackity) (04055 Ponk) (04115 Tubbo) (04225 Ponk) (04315 Tubbo) (04320 Quackity) (04500 Ponk) (04535 Ponk) (05929 Tubbo) (05150 Tommy) (05245 Tubbo) (05340 Tubbo) (05450 Tommy) (05450 Tubbo) (05830 Tubbo) (05845 Quackity) (05950 Tommy) (05950 Tubbo) (10045 Callahan) (10140 Tubbo) (10140 Quackity) (10145 Ponk) (10450 Jack Manifold) (11025 Jack Manifold) (11945 Tubbo)
sellout pog: 001925, 11710, 14235, 21115
good laugh times: 04511 05055 05315
good quotes: (004240 NO ONE KILLS ANIMALS LIKE SAPNAP!!!) (05335 LOOK AT YOUR COUNTRY FALL, TUBBO!) (10000 IT WOULDN’T BE A FINAL BOSS IF I DIDN’T HAVE STAGES!) (11150 WOOOO THE MONOTONY OF LIFE POGGG) (12115 the real government is the friends we made along the way) (13035 sapnap strikes me as the guy to kill Santa Claus)
do do dooo/ other stims: 00736, 01150 bruuuhhh, 002420, 15203
other:
(sap and techs “convo” at 05530 is fuckin hilarious i highly rec watchin it) (05950 TECHNOPLANEEE)
summary:
He starts the stream in his base with Philza. They talk about viewer counts and their plan for the day, while making gear, potions, and other materials. Techno makes fireworks, and shows his statistics in the server, which are as follows:
Animals bred - 1,494
Armor pieces cleaned - 0
Banners cleaned - 0
Barrels opened - 107
Bells rung - 9,500
Cake slices eaten - 6
Cauldrons filled - 0
Chests opened - 13,963
Damage absorbed - 83.70
Damaged blocked by shield - 83.50
Damage dealt - 163799.30
Damage dealt (absorbed) - 113.90
Damage dealt (resisted) - 0
Damage resisted - 118.90
Damage taken - 10198.80
Dispensers searched - 13
Distance climbed - 10.51 km
Dsitance crouched - 8.01 km
Distance fallen - 94.48 km
Distance flown - 808.59
Distance sprinted - 300.17 km
[mobs]
Bat - killed 2
Blaze - killed 693
Cave spider - killed 64,513
Chicken - killed 2
Cod - killed 4
Cow - killed 369
Creeper - killed 1,213
Donkey - killed 2
Drowned - killed 54
Elder guardian - killed 1
Enderman - killed 161
Endermite - killed 4
Evoker - killed 2
Ghast - killed 102
Guardian - killed 6
Hoglin - killed 13
Horse - killed 150
Magma cube - killed 542
Pig - killed 2
Piglin - killed 96
Pillager - killed 127
Pufferfish - killed 1
Ravager - killed 3
Salmon - killed 7
Silverfish - killed 3
Skeleton - killed 312
Slime - killed 40
Spider - killed 234
Squid - killed 16
Vex - killed 6
Villager - killed 6
Vindicator - killed 17
Wandering Trader - killed 2
Witch - killed 7
Wither Skeleton - killed 2,615
Wolf - killed 1
Zombie - killed 927, was killed 1 time
Zombie Villager - killed 12
Zombified piglin - killed 189
He talks about how the 2,615 Wither skeletons killed feels low, but does the math and thinks it’s fine. He moves on, and continues brewing Invis potions. He makes black and red fireworks for several minutes.
00845 Dream scares Phil by logging in right behind Techno, and they join a voice channel together. Dream gives Techno several stacks of TNT, and Dream finally tells Techno his ‘special plan.’
Dream says that they have to go early, and destroy it 30 minutes early. Dream tells them of a spy, and how L’Manburg is going to show up exactly at 3:00, instead of getting there early.
Techno asks Dream what he needs from him, and Dream essentially says that Phil shouldn’t listen to the conversation, and tries to make Techno leave Phils call. Techno declines, and they continue their conversation in the house.
01100 Dream explains that he can’t set up redstone, because it’s too easy to destroy, and that he’s going to have to set up the machines while the battle is happening. He tells Techno to stall the battle for twenty minutes, and Techno argues, saying that the risk is too one-sided for him and that it would be too easy for Dream to betray him by not setting up the machines.
Techno agrees after Dream brings up the dog army and the withers, and Techno says that he was only complaining to see how unreasonable Dream actually was.
Techno asks Phil for more potions, including speed, strength, and regeneration, and he keeps talking about the Turtle Master potions, and quickly runs to the Vault to get the skulls.
Dream mentions Ender Pearls, and Techno agrees that they would be useful. On the way to trade with Orphan, Techno goes down to Tommy’s former room, calls it the Traitor Pit, and breaks the prime log. He starts to leave, but changes his mind, and blows up the Traitor Pit.
He leaves the past behind him, and goes back up to trade with Orphan. He gets more pearls, and then continues brewing potions. Phil gives Techno his trident again, and wonders aloud if he should bring Phil.
On one hand, Phil only has one life, but Phil also has a grudge against L’Manburg, and Phil insists he come along.
Techno gives Phil the only remaining Totem of Undying, and several Wither skulls. Techno tells Phil to not be in the main battle at first, and to hide, be careful, and to only spawn Withers when Techno sends the signal, shooting the fireworks into the sky.
They go over their inventories and Ender chests, Techno gets more weakness arrows, and Dream and Techno use the sellout bell one last time.
While outside, Techno mentions that Phil tore down Tommy’s cobblestone tower, and Dream almost blows up Tommys’ former house, but Techno stops him, saying that it might be Ghostburs.
Dream also gives Techno and Phil obsidian for building, and Techno gives Dream his TNT back, saying it wouldn’t be useful. He also gives Phil a God Apple, and tells him to (02245) not risk his life for him. Dream counters that, mentioning that Phil could risk his life for him, and Techno refuses to let Dream continue.
Techno also brews a Slow Falling potion, one of the rarest potions on the server. Dream talks about his status as a homeless person, and Dream does not accept it, and tells Techno that his main goal is to make everyone homeless, because blowing up L’Manburg would make everyone there live without a house. Techno calls himself ‘Anti-House.’
After crafting an unenchanted Netherite axe, they leave. Dream follows him to the Dog Sanctuary.
02939, right before leaving the Nether, Techno chants: 2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate?? Not the government! GOO!!!! And splashes Invis potions on himself, Dream, and Phil.
They enter the Overworld to find Sapnap close to the portal. Techno tells him that He’s actually TommyInnit, and runs to the portal before Sapnap can process that. Dream and Phil follow, and they make it to the Dog Sanctuary.
03200 Dream is surprised at the amount of dogs in the cave, and Techno starts talking about the plan. He says that because L’Manburg has a law against killing pets, they won’t be able to do anything to stop the army from killing them. Dream calls him evil after he reveals that he’s going to splash the dogs with both strength and invis, and they move out with a pack of dogs following.
Dream shows them an obsidian network above L’Manburg, and says that he’s going to make TNT Dispensers on it. Dream leaves, and they get into position.
03700. Techno joins the L’Manburg VC, and starts yelling at them, calling them idiots and asking where they are. They tell him that theres still 24 minutes until the war starts, and Techno starts encouraging them to come back, but then remembers that he’d have to hold them off while Dream sets up, so he tells them to take their time and wait until the scheduled time.
Tommy sees the obsidian network, and shoots Phil. Techno and Tommy start arguing. Techno calls himself a liar, but justifies it by mentioning the 1v30 he’d have to do.
Tommy takes his first death, falling from a pillar trying to reach Dream.
Tubbo shoots Techno, and the dogs start chasing him. Techno splashes the potions on them, and watches as the war starts. He calls the wolves ‘The Dogs of War,’ and quickly kills both Quackity, Ponk, and Tubbo.
Tubbo drops a Trident, and Techno wonders if it’s his. He keeps fighting, and quickly remembers that Sapnap is known for his animal killing.
He continues killing, but decides on a compromise. If they back off, he won’t kill them as he blows up the country. They disagree, and Techno eats a God apple before shooting the fireworks into the sky.
04430 Philza deploys the Withers. The Citizens yell about the Bees, and Techno continues his destruction. He stores the new trident in his Ender Chest and organizes his inventory, adding some Wither skulls and soulsand for later.
Five Withers storm L’Manburg as the country fights back, and Techno tries to find Invis potions. He raids houses and makes more Withers, and L’Manburg is left to fight nine Withers as Techno restarts his Laptop.
Running back into the action, Techno realizes he’s been using normal arrows this entire time, and puts the fireworks in his offhand. He meets Phil in his house, and Phil gives Techno another Invis pot. He finds a book, called ‘Do Not Read,’ in his Inventory, and Ranboo asks for it back. Techno gives the book to Ranboo, and tells him to flee, that he doesn’t have anything against him, and to survive the war in safety. Ranboo runs.
Sapnap yells that another Wither is down, and Techno jumps back into battle. He kills Tubbo again, and Dream messages ‘destroy l’mantree’ to him. Techno asks which tree that is, and starts moving to where he thinks it is.
In the background, Tommy starts to plan. He says that, (05040) ‘we’ve got to kill the Withers first, and then we can fight The Blade.’
Phil scoffs at that, and Techno keeps going. He finds an ender chest and repairs his armor with XP bottles.
Techno continues killing, and Dream finally tells him where the tree is. Before he can make it there, Dream sets off the TNT canons, and destruction rains from the sky as L’Manburg cries out in confusion.
05335 He finds Tubbo in the middle of the country, and yells, “LOOK AT YOUR COUNTRY FALL, TUBBO!” Tubbo falls along with it, and doesn’t respond as Techno shoots him, once again, with a firework rocket.
05355 Tommy climbs onto a bridge and begs Techno to not shoot.
“You didn’t have to do this! The thing about the discs, Technoblade, is that they were for me! We could’ve had a government, and- ”
“I don’t care about the discs, Tommy! I was upfront with you from the start, the government has to go!”
“Technoblade, you are selfish!”
“Selfish?! You’ve used me from the start, Tommy! You’re wearing my helmet as we speak!”
“Technoblade, you said we betrayed you! You said we were the ones that betrayed you!”
“You betrayed me like, twelve times!”
“Technoblade, look at me. Look at me, right now. You said you hated governments, you said we were the ones that betrayed you. You were the one who killed Tubbo when JSchlatt told you to! You were the one who betrayed us, out of all-”
“I was peer pressur- You betrayed me, like, yesterday! You used me as a weapon! You’ve never thought of me as a friend, Tommy, you’ve just used me from the start. You saw me just as The Blade, that’s all I was to you, The Blade, a weapon, well guess what?” Techno pauses, and his voice is tense as he continues. “I’m choosing what I fight for now, and I’m going to destroy the government, Tommy! You all die!”
He fires the fireworks towards Tommy, killing him and Tubbo with the same shot.
He watches as the TNT falls from the sky, and finally, Tommy asks to speak once more.
“You were our friend, and you know what?-”
“Tommy, you never thought of me as a friend, Tommy,”
“Listen to me!”
“I listened to you for weeks, what did you do? You went back to Tubbo, the guy that exiled you, that chose his country over you,”
“People are above the government!”
“I’M A PERSON!”
“You ARE, Techno, and so are we! The reason the discs- they were stolen from me! Nothing-”
“Discs aren’t people!”
“Nothing was taken from you! You’re selfish! You destroyed the people for your own self gain! You’re selfish!”
“All of these problems are because of your government,” Techno starts, “Your government has caused all these issues. I believe in freedom, Tommy!”
“You- You don’t believe in freedom! When you were peer pressured, that wasn’t freedom, that’s you following what the government told you!”
“Bro, Tommy, that was like four months ago, ok?”
“IT WAS! LET’S NOT FORGET ABOUT THE PAST RIGHT NOW- Tubbo! Tubbo he killed you!”
“He’s the president, get him OUT of here!” Techno shoots at Tubbo, who hides behind some stone, “He’s wearing YOUR helmet!”
“And you killed him!”
“Yeah, because he’s the president!
“But even when he wasn’t the president, you killed him as well.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
“You’re as bad as the government, Technoblade.”
“Hey, remember when I was sitting there, alone, against the whole government, and you and Wilbur just sat there on the sidelines, and watched? Did you step in? Did you step in? Were you guys the ones who stepped in and said, don’t worry, Technoblade, we know you’re in a high pressure situation, but we’ll fight the world for you, Technoblade? NO! You guys watched- You know what I did, yesterday? When you were surrounded by thirty people, the whole world was against you? I walked in. I was willing to fight all of them for you, Tommy. I would’ve been there.
That is the difference between us.”
“We spent HOURS together-”
“DON’T speak to me of loyalty!”
“You were my friend, and you betrayed us!”
“You never thought of me as a friend!”
“The- The thing about this government, is that it didn’t interfere with you!”
“It did!”
“No, it didn’t! The discs were stolen by Dream-”
“I don’t care about discs! I care about freedom! The government! We can’t have freedom with the government!”
“You have your own freedom, just let people love what they love, man!” (lmao homophobic techno confirmed? /J :LKJFDSLKFJ)
“Tommy...I used to think like that, Tommy. You know what they did to me? They hunted me down! The whole Butcher Army, and they executed me! I tried being peaceful, Tommy, but the government made it clear that we could not coexist.”
“And so you spawn Withers??? All you do is repeat history, but worse.”
“YOU GUYS brought this upon YOURSELVES, I was willing to live in my cottage and be chill, and just farm turtles, but you guys made it clear-”
“Technoblade, you can’t just go back to your cottage after you blow up the government! That’s not how this works, actions have consequences!”
Techno shoots at Tommy and Tubbo, killing Tubbo. “Actions do have consequences, Tommy, and THESE are the consequences!” He splashes potions at his feet, and chases after Quackity. He kills him quickly, and Quackity yells about how he has to face the consequence of his former actions. Techno told him that he had changed, and the Butcher Army refused to let him live his life, but Quackity says that he had to face his punishment.
Tommy calls Techno a tyrant, and is almost immediately killed as Techno launches himself into the air and uses the slowfalling potions to aim, and fire.
10130 Someone (I can’t tell who, help) asks why Phil is there, and why he hates the government, and he responds, “Since I was forced to kill my own son, you idiot!”
Tommy asks Techno where the L’mantree is, and Techno reveals that he doesn’t actually know what that is, but that Dream wanted to blow it up earlier. Several people start screaming, mourning the loss of their tree, as Techno celebrates.
Techno runs out of fireworks, and decides that their destruction is over. He notices that no one is fighting back, and asks if everyones just given up.
“What is there left to protect?”
Techno laughs, and Niki speaks for the first time. “I burnt the tree.”
Techno compliments her, and looks over the destruction.
10350 “WELCOME,” he says, “TO THE YOUNGEST ANARCHY SERVER IN MINECRAFT!”
Jack Manifold challenges him, and they fight. Techno runs out of potions, but still manages to win. Manifold takes too long to pick up his items, so Techno spawns another Wither. At this point, there’s four Withers roaming the former country.
Techno decides to kill the Withers to get Nether Stars, and while looking for a place to shoot, he finds Eret watching the chaos. He asks if he supports government, but answers the question for them. “There’s no need to risk your neck for a country you’re not even a part of.”
Eret then says that they’re just there for the Nether Stars, and Techno laughs. Techno kills a Wither, and Phil takes the star.
Techno starts talking about how he wanted L’Manburg to be a chunk error, and decides to get rid of the water so the TNT can work. He mentions that he has the Trident back, and that he’s probably not going to ever get the Axe of Peace from Tommy.
Dream continues blowing the country up, and Techno gives Phil his trident back. Techno tells Dream to nuke the entire area, but finds out that Ghostbur is close, and frantically makes him stop. He then remembers that Ghostbur is a literal ghost and can not die.
Hbomb tries to tell Techno to blow up Manifold Land, but Techno refuses, saying that it isn’t really a country, and is instead just one person.
Ghostbur arrives, and starts looking around the crater. Techno leaves to find a bell to be a sellout. He tells us that if he gets 5 million subscribers today, he’ll set up the second monitor.
They talk about timezones and relax after the chaos. Techno attempts a triple kill but fails, and Manifold declares war on him. Techno threatens his house, so Manifold decides to not do that.
Sapnap punches him, and Techno starts to spawn a Wither, but Sapnaps’ efficiency V Netherite shovel is enough to make Techno run in fear.
12320 Tommy gets struck by lightning. SO LONG, THESEUS! EVEN GOD HATES HIM! -techno
Sap tries to kill Techno with a Channeling trident, but Techno takes no damage and almost spawns another Wither, but decides to fly away instead. Sapnap goes mad with power, and tries to kill Ponk with tridents and wither roses. Techno sings the Manhunt music as Ponk runs from Sapnap and BadBoyHalo.
After exploring the wreckage and joking with the survivors, Phil and Techno go to their own VC and go back home. Philza is jumped by a baby zombie, but Techno manages to kill it and save him.
13515He ties the stream together by chanting ‘2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate? Philza minecraft!! yeah!!!!’
They go inside to reorganize their chests, and Techno realizes that he still has two stacks of Wither skulls. Techno and Phil agree that the Withers they used were enough, and they talk about how the battle went.
Phil gives Techno the Totem and the God Apple back.
Techno also implies that if Phil dies, the destruction would be far, far worse, and his life is worth more than anything that had happened beforehand. They are best friends ur honor.
While ranting about the government, Technoblade reveals that he still has the anvil used to execute him in his ender chest. Techno covers Tommys old home, and tears down the signs they used as a checklist.
Looking at Em, Techno remembers the dogs he didn’t use to fight, and Phil brings up a Stasis Pearl Chamber as a way to teleport all the dogs back at the same time. They quickly build it, and Techno starts running to the remains of L’Manburg.
He makes it to the dog cave without any trouble, and makes all the dogs stand. Philza teleports him back, and the dogs take some fall damage as they land with him. He puts the dogs into the house next to his, and Phil says that he’s going to build a kennel later.
Phil reveals that Ghostbur was not happy with the whole ‘blowing up L’Manburg’ thing, and that Friend had died, and now, Ghostbur wants to be brought back to life. Phil is hesitant, and he doesn’t know if his memories will stay, if he could handle it, and other variables.
20320 Techno finally shows Carl again, but doesn’t show where he’s hidden. He uses the intermission screen to hide his location from even the viewers, but Carl is fine. He puts him back in the display stable, but then moves him back, fearing his life.
20630, Techno jokes about the Turtle Shell Helmets and it’s adorable. please go watch it. he then talks about the Sad-Ist animation for a few seconds, and talks about the fanartists in the community. He mentions making a playlist of animations and animatics, which would be really cool.
He ends the stream ringing the sellout bell.
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Through some kind of magic, the pillarmen have turned into anthropomorphic animals, how would they react?
Fantasy AU. Engage. im going all in.
Kars
- A concoction gone terribly right. Well, to him at least.
- It was a successful feat, Kars had managed to manifest bird-like properties from extracts of several different species.
- But, there was a problem. The potion had only some effect on his body, physically. He was aiming for the sight of a hawk, and the keen swimming power of a duck, and a resistance to cold weather like penguins. Hell he even got peacock dna. But he was very disappointed from the results of the potion only confusing certain parts of his body.
- He thinks the flamingo blood caused the change in the potion. Their high amount of spirulina in their bacteria must have made his body resist most of the transformation, allowing the cells to morph with half his body.
- The process of the evolution was interrupted making only his arms and legs morphed. His limbs became similar to the birds he used for his concoction.
- His arms first began to prick with sharp needle stabbing pain as darkly colored feathers began to grow from his shoulders to his finger tips morphing his bones and joints into wings that reflected a purple like hue. His legs shedded their skin, making a mess of gore on the ground as his body made huge flamingo-like legs, the shade of red the same as blood. The same soft feathers on his arms running from his knees to his waist, and the most embarrassing yet elegant part of him, his tail. A white peacock tail that flowed elegantly behind him.
- Kars took the results of the potions effect into his books and made some adjustments, but he cursed himself for jumping straight into testing without precaution, and with no antidote to reverse the effects. So he decides to wait and see if it wears out.
- Surprised but not impressed by the results, his wings leave no room for grabbing, and his legs can’t do much besides grab small animals, pens and paper fall from them. His tail, though, leaves for a good look on his person.
- But he can’t help but think of all the chicken jokes Esidisi will make out of him. And the mess he is going to make of the shedding feathers.
Esidisi
- Today, Kars wanted to test something rare, legendary even. He had gotten his hands on some scales and blood of a dragon. The ooze he made was far from a potion as he tested it on plants. The intensity of the mix would turn the organisms to ash in seconds, making the ‘potion’ a one way sip to death.
- But the concept of ‘don’t drink this’ and death don’t apply to Esidisi. He doesn’t even know how to spell it(ha. joke). Kars needed to go out to find an ingredient to make the ooze safer and more compatible to drink, leaving Esidisi in charge of watching over it to make sure it didn’t explode.
- While he was out, Esidisi thought what the harm is about trying just a small sip of it. He only heard about how dangerously hot it was, plus, he likes spicy things. But if the red to white burning at the bottom of the cauldron and the bubbling color of the ooze the same as lava wasn’t a good enough warning, he had to have a taste.
- The spoon itself burned at the touch of it as he dipped it in and his lips were scorched as he took a sip. He dropped the spoon as his mouth burned from the drop hitting his tongue. Shortly after he started to burn with an intensifying heat. Next his body started to reek of heat. As if a fever x10 was burning him from the inside out.
- His skin began to harden and crack in the form of scales from his chest to his arms and legs. His back gave way to wings beginning to form skin and hard bone, flexing and breaking off ash and asphalt. A scaly tail began to protrude from his rear, shaking off sparks of fire. His mouth began to pool with thick black smoke as he clawed at his chest heaving for fresh air from the heat.
- When the transformation is over, Kars comes back with what he needs but drops it on sight of Esidisi and his new form. Esidisi was thrilled about his new dragon-like form, his wings, claws, and chest glowing with new temperatures, but Kars, he was not as thrilled. Pretty soon Kars is lecturing Esidisi about how his newest creation could’ve killed him or worse, but seeing how successful it mutated his form, Kars tosses aside his ingredient to add caution to the mix and will continue to under-go the ooze the way it is.
Wamuu
- Another magical mishap, but this time, Wamuu has taken on the study of spells.
- He was practicing the art of transformation from one of Kars's books he, well, was ‘borrowing’. Totally didn’t take it from his studies without asking because he is such a good boy.
- Always on the drive to be just like his successors, he wants to be just as great and powerful and will take any risks to make it to where they are.
- Though he bit off more than he can chew when he underestimated the spells difficulty level and the classic Kars Warning NOT to use magic he forbids them until they are older. But Wamuu being Wamuu, has a thirst for power.
- At first, nothing happened. He didn’t feel any different aside from the stomach cramps and attack of growing pains in his legs, all in all he didn’t see any transformations. Figuring he just put himself up to the painful failure(literally) of the transformation he decided to take some medicine to get rid of his pain and sleep on it.
- He slept like a rock, and when he woke up, his bed was crushed and he was flat on the floor. Well, on his side, I don’t think a half human half horse can fall flat on their stomachs… maybe their backs? Who knows, more importantly, Wamuu has yet to fully process the situation.
- You know how horses freak out when they fall? Wamuu did just that, scrambling about in excitement and confusion at how his spell worked, except it didn’t make it up his whole body seeming to stop at the bottom of his torso. His horse half was a rich shade of copper colored fur with a short blonde tail, his legs have just as much muscle as he had before and his torso seemed to be thin yet just as muscular. Though, the spell was incomplete, never making it from his feet to his head to his realization, and to that info he cursed himself for not searching for a second one to complete the first(it’s one of those step 1 to step 2 except you skip 2 and go to 3 situations).
- But still, it’s fascinating to him and he can’t wait to do more. After this lecture from Kars, of course.
Santana
- Once again Santana is sneaking through everyone's things to complete this potion or question he needs.
- Same time as Wamuu, they both are rummaging through Kars’s quarters. Finding anything that they need, Santana going first then Wamuu following close behind being convinced that Santana will take the blame for sneaking in(he lied. he’s totally not going to hear it from Kars again).
- As Wamuu found the book he needed, Santana was still rummaging through Kars’s many mini self-made(Kars patented, Esidisi approves lol) potion ingredients he uses for curses. Just when he finds the one he needs, reaching in the far back, Wamuu whispers loudly behind him he’s ready to go but starts Santana by the sudden boom of his voice, causing his body to jump and his arm knock some of Kars’s potions off his shelf.
- They fall onto the floor at Santana's feet creating a cloud of purple and red gas that’s as heavy as smoke from a campfire. The gas reaches up to his head as he grabs the mini potion and backs out of the fog. Wamuu then grabbed him by the wrist and rushed out before their masters could investigate the noise.
- He began asking if Santana was fine, of course, he said don’t worry about it and walked off like nothing happened, so Wamuu let him be while he returned to studying his own magic. As Santana enters his room he suddenly starts to feel itchy on his head, scratching near his horns he sets the potion he took on his desk and begins to scratch with both hands. Suddenly the worst headache appeared, like his head got slammed into a wall.
- Head becoming itchy he begins to scratch until strands of hair are starting to fall out and the pain of his head starts to move to his horns. He’s felt his horns grow before but he never thought they could ever be this irritating. Looking into a nearby mirror he watches as his horns expand longer, more rounded and rugged, just goat horns. After his horns were finished, his legs started to itch. Resisting the urge to satisfy the itch he rips off his pants only to see black fur begin to grow on from his waist down to his… hooves? Since when did he get hooves? Then, when he thought it was all over, he felt his tailbone shift uncomfortably. Turning around in the mirror he watches his rear as a small fluffy tail sprouts from his butt.
- Remembering the gas he accidentally made while taking Kars’s potion makes him think, oh great, not this again. He isn’t very thrilled with his new form, never wanting to test this sort of magic. But, he can’t help but admire how good his horns look.
“I heard most potions taste like sea water.” - Von
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Anonymous asked: I always think of you as Kristin Scott Thomas’ character Fiona in Four Weddings and a Funeral as a beautiful woman who is scarily clever and classy. So with my upcoming wedding (next year!) and especially wedding music I thought of you. I really would appreciate your advice on Mendelssohn or Wagner as they seem to be the traditional choices of music to play at a traditional church wedding. My fiancé isn’t bothered what music we play but I can’t decide. Please do help as I value your unvarnished truth.
Thank you for the flattering words which while well intentioned are nevertheless entirely misplaced.
Swiftly moving on, a sincere congratulations on your forthcoming wedding. I can only imagine how stressful it must be running around like a headless chicken trying to desperately organise everything. And desperate you certainly must be - perhaps even certifiably insane - if you’re turning to me on Tumblr for advice!
I’m not married....yet ( oops! better get that caveat in before I am chastised by those who really know me) but I am a wedding veteran - some would even say, a jaded one (thank you, mummy).
Every season there is a string of wedding invitations that I can’t turn down and I feel obligated to attend. While great fun, one wedding starts to blur into another especially when the champagne starts to copiously flow. I have my own thoughts on the good, the bad, and the tacky about wedding etiquette but I don’t want to disappear down that rabbit hole. Instead let’s talk about Mendelssohn and Wagner.
Both music pieces have traditionally struck a chord (pardon the pun) and have become a staple of traditional weddings since time immemorial.
Mendelssohn's ‘Wedding March’ was originally composed in 1842. He got there first.
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Wagner's ‘Bridal Chorus’ came later in 1848. The ‘Bridal Chorus’ became a popularised piece to play at weddings around Europe after it was most memorably used as the processional at the wedding of Victoria, the Princess Royal to Prince Frederick William of Prussia in 1858. Nowadays - certainly in Britain and the US - it is generally known as "Here Comes the Bride”.
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I suppose the straight forward answer is that it doesn’t have to be Wagner vs. Mendelssohn. Why not both? Wagner’s ‘Bridal Chorus’ can be used for the entrance processional of the bride walking down the aisle and the Mendelssohn ‘Wedding March’ for the recessional walk out of the church.
But you did say you wanted my ‘unvarnished truth’ so allow me the small luxury of an arm chair rant from the Coronavirus self-isolation of my Paris apartment.
Of the two I would definitely ditch the Wagner piece. Please don’t misunderstood me. I am a huge fan of Wagner’s music - like any true Wagnerian I have taken more than one pilgrimage to Beyreuth - but in this case playing Wagner’s music would show a frightful ignorance of the meaning behind the ‘Bridal Chorus’ piece.
I don’t know why more people haven’t picked up on this but I’ve always found it a terribly odd piece to play at a wedding especially as it originates from Wagner’s masterful opera, Lohengrin.
Wagner came upon the opera's inspiration around 1845 when he took interest in the legend of the Holy Grail through the poems of Wolfram von Eschenbach and the anonymous epic of Lohengrin. Composed by 1848, Lohengrin features "Bridal Chorus" as the prelude to a very short-lived, doomed marriage between Elsa and Lohengrin.
The famous ‘Bridal Chorus’ is lustily sung by women of the bridal party serenading Elsa to the bridal suite after the wedding in Act III. Elsa is not allowed to know her true knight’s true name and identity. But this is a romantic German opera and so of course Lohengrin is found out with dire consequences for all. A sad Lohengrin ends up revealing that he is in fact a knight of the Grail and son of King Parsifal, sent to protect an unjustly accused woman. The laws of the Holy Grail say that Knights of the Grail must remain anonymous. If their identity is revealed, they must return home. Lohengrin is lead back to the castle of the Holy Grail. Elsa is grief stricken at being left behind. Poor Elsa (naturally) collapses and dies with a broken heart.
Charming.
To say it’s not the happiest of allusions of looking forward to a long life of wedded bliss would be an understatement.
However my objections against Wagner’s ‘Bridal Chorus’ goes beyond this. For one thing I find it rather too sombre - Oh dear God! Is marriage really like this?!
My main ire is that it overly used and therefore boring to listen to. And when one is bored the mind wanders.
In my case, without sounding malicious, my mind just drifts to whispering mischievous lyrics under my breath that go like, “here comes the bride, big fat and wide, here comes the groom, skinny as a broom.” Try as I might I can never get those words out of my silly mind whenever I hear the organ music playing “Here come’s the bride.” Not my finest hour.
Now Mendelssohn’s ‘Wedding March’ is different beast entirely. Beast being the operative word as we are dealing with Pagan deities.
Typically used in church wedding recessionals, the ‘Wedding March’ piece has sparked controversy due to its literary origins. The Prussian monarch Friedrich Wilhelm IV commissioned Mendelssohn to compose incidental music for many pieces that were based upon Greek mythology and tragedy in order to revive the genre of literature and performance. Among his commissions, in 1843 Mendelssohn composed a setting for William Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream; the setting comprises twelve musical numbers and a finale. The plot of Shakespeare's play focuses on a pagan god and goddess and is filled with fairies, magic, and fantasy. Due to the piece's pagan, fantastic inspirations, some puritanical leaders and musicians - particularly in Roman Catholic churches - have found the piece to be inappropriate for a Christian religious ceremony. In its defence at least Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night's Dream was a comedy with a happy ending.
If you’re feeling traditional rather than puritanical then the joyous Mendelssohn ‘Wedding March’ might still be a great option either as a processional or recessional.
If you’re looking for options outside of either Wagner and Mendelssohn then it’s really a matter of exercising good taste alongside what suits the personal tone of your wedding.
Off the top of my head I keep coming back to Johann Sebastian Bach.
Bach’s many cantatas and fugues seem to tick all the boxes. In particular there is Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring (derived from the cantata Herz und Mund und Tat und Leben, "Heart and Mouth and Deed and Life”). There is also the Toccata and Fugue in D minor ‘Dorian’ BWV 538 and the Toccata and Fugue in F Major, BWV 540. Arioso in A flat for solo piano from Cantata No. 156 "Ich steh`mit einem Fuss im Grabe is softly elegant. A particular favourite piece of mine is Weichet nur, betrübte Schatten, BWV 202, the ‘Wedding Cantata’. Of course many would point out that Bach’s Ave Maria would be perfect for a processional but I would think twice about that. As beautiful as the piece is it is about the Virgin Mary after all and you may invite unwanted speculation from your guests if you are (cough) chaste.
Trumpet Tune in D by Jeremiah Clarke is a little more festive. Or consider his more famous Trumpet Voluntary ‘The Prince of Denmark's March’.
Charles-Marie Widor was a fine composer and his Toccata (from Symphony for Organ No. 5) is spiritually intense for traditional organ music.
Eugène Gigout's famous Grand Chœur Dialogué might appeal to you as well.
G.F. Handel’s Water Music Suite - Air has a graceful and calming tone. The Arrival of The Queen of Sheba (Solomon) HWV 67 is upbeat and was made for a processional.
Beethoven’s Für Elise is perfect to calm last minute panic attacks before you go up the aisle.
And how can one forget Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?
The Serenade No. 13 for strings in G major, K. 525 or more commonly known as Eine kleine Nachtmusik KV. 525 - II. Romanze: Andante is a beautiful melody familiar to many and sets a soothing tone. Ave verum corpus, K.618 is profoundly spiritual and lifts your hearts up to the angels. ‘Alleluia’ from ‘Exsultate, jubilate’ is wonderful if you can get your hands on a competent soprano. If you are feeling more adventurous then the Spanish Wedding March from The Marriage of Figaro which might be to your taste.
Elgar’s Salut d'Amour, Op. 12 is soft, inviting and makes one feel you’re in some 19th Century romance novel set at court.
Elgar finished the piece in July 1888, when he was romantically involved with Caroline Alice Roberts, and he called it Liebesgruss ('Love's Greeting') because of Miss Roberts' fluency in German. When he returned home to London on 22 September from a holiday at the house of his friend Dr. Charles Buck, in Settle, he presented it to her as an engagement present. The dedication was in French: à Carice. 'Carice' was a combination of his wife's names Caroline Alice, and was the name to be given to their daughter born two years later.
Edvard Grieg’s Wedding Day at Troldhauen, Op. 65, no. 6 is magnificently playful.
Jean-Joseph Mouret’s Rondeau from Sinfonie de Fanfares is a beautiful Baroque piece. What’s a wedding without trumpets that could be heard all the way into the heavens?
Gluck’s Dance of the Blessed Spirits from his Orfeo et Euridice can be an elegant choice to do a recessional. Perfect for sensitive souls.
Gabriel Fauré’s Pavane, Op. 50 is sublime. I can never get tired of listening to it. Would make a worthy piece as a processional.
I would also throw into the mix Gaetano Donizetti’s ‘Una furtiva lagrima’ (A furtive tear) is the romanza from Act II of his delightful opera L'elisir d'amore.
It is sung by Nemorino (a tenor) when it appears that the love potion he bought to win the heart of his dream lady, Adina, works. Nemorino is in love with Adina, but she is not interested in a relationship with an innocent, rustic man. To win her heart, Nemorino buys a love potion with all the money he has in his pocket. That love potion is actually a cheap red wine sold by a traveling quack doctor, but when he sees Adina weeping, he knows that she has fallen in love with him, and he is sure that the "elixir" has worked. It may not fit your idea of a processional but I would try and use it some where in your wedding - perhaps at the reception.
I feel guilty about trashing on Wagner and Mendelssohn so I will leave you with two final thoughts. Reconsider Wagner’s opera Lohengrin. Forget the Bridal Chorus but instead listen to the chorus ‘Gesegnet soll sie schreiten’ in Act II. The various horns give this chorus a dreamlike quality and you feel like you are floating on air. Mendelssohn’s On Wings of Song is a powerful and poignant piano piece and quite suitable to play as your guests away your arrival in church.
I am sure there are other great classical music pieces that I have neglected to mention but others reading this might give their thoughts in the comments below.
If knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, then wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. So give careful and considered thought to what music you throw together into the mix as your church wedding processional and recessional.
Congratulations again and I hope it’s a special day for both of you and your families and friends.
Thanks for your question.
#question#wedding#music#wedding music#classical#tradition#church wedding#processional#recessional#personal#bio
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Chapter 3: Grammar and Power
"Hagrid, I'm wondering, can you tell me more about the Professors?" Harry said after getting himself comfortable around Hagrid, although he didn't have the ability to eat Hagrid's cooking, while Ron enjoyed himself with pampering 'Fang,' Hagrid's hound dog.
"Well ain' 'hat a good question. Known mos' of 'hem back when I was in school. Of course, 'he Dark Arts 'eacher keeps changin' for a while now and 'he potion masters are fairly new, been aroun' for ten years give or 'ake," Hagrid said pouring more tea.
"But isn't that strange?," Ron said with mild skepticism, "why have two potion masters? Why not one?"
"Well ain' 'hat a funny story. When Professor Snape became 'he potions master, people were worried if he could handle it; given his past an' all, but 'hen Dumbledore wen' off to France one day an' came back with Professor Black, draggin' him by 'he collar; it was quiet 'he show," Hagrid said laughing at the memory.
"Of course, 'he other professors seemed even more cautious to him 'eaching, given his family matters, Black himself 'ried runnin' away whenever he got the chance, yet Dumbledore always dragged him back in 'ime for dinner. I'm not sure wha' convinced Black to stay 'hough, you'll have to ask him or Dumbledore, maybe even Snape if your lucky. 'hen pretty soon things jus' started to work out well and it's been like 'hat ever since." Hagrid said and looked at the clock.
"Blimey, it's getting late, I wouldn't wan' you two gettin' into 'rouble on your second day, now off with you, careful not to get Flinch to fin' you." Hagrid said as he ushered them out.
As much as Hagrid explained, it still left Harry in questions.
What was Professor Snape's past? Why was Dumbledore at France? Why was Professor Black so reluctant in teaching? How did Dumbledore convince Professor Black to stay?
But Harry supposed that could be a answered for another time.
———
Classes went by for the next two weeks as perfect as Harry could imagine.
Well; they went just about exactly as how Harry have imagined it.
In Transfigurations, they wrote down difficult anagrams and translations to which made knickknacks change into other knickknacks.
In Charms, they learned to use basic charms as well as learn when they were invented and why.
In History of Magic, they slept through an explanation of Greek and Roman wizards which brought muggles to reason that there were gods.
In Herbology, they learned about soil properties and there reaction to certain plants.
In Flying Class, they learned what makes a broom fly and the parts of a broom as well.
In Astronomy, they learn how to track star movements and tracing the lunar cycle.
In Defense Against the Dark Arts, they learned that Professor Quirrell was scared of just about everything.
And then there was Potions...
Don't get Harry wrong, it wasn't a strange class compared to his other courses, but it was strange in its teaching style.
The first thing he does in class is place a potion in front and have the students write down what potion it is using only three clues hidden around the room.
As far as Harry was concern, only Hermione seem to like it. Then Professor Black would go off in demonstrating making a potion while the class followed along which was the normal part of class; then does something completely unexpected.
It could be anything.
One time the professor just decided that, to check if are potions worked properly, dropped eggs into the steaming cauldron which out popped a fully grown chicken, or geese and turkey if you messed up which was found out by Neville, that only lead to the school being overrun with foul of all kind. This lead to Professor McGonagall having plenty of practice trials for her class in making chickens to pillows and Professor Sprout feeding her carnivorous plants fresh meat. Not to mention, to no ones surprise, there were a lot of chicken based meals serve the next day.
Another time the Professor handle the students clay dolls to use as containers for the potion which only proceeded to make it come to life and keep trying to untie shoelaces. On course, Professor Flitwick took most dolls and used them to teach the fourth year how to use the cutting charm on moving objects while Professor Kettleburn who teaches Care of Magical Creatures took just enough to keep the bowtruckles at bay from attacking students.
It turned out that whatever potion was made was then explained after the potion was created to make sure everyone was fair game in brewing so not one knew what to expect as the final result. Then the school takes use of it and make it a never ending cycle of 'learning productivity.' At least that's what the other teachers call it.
The good that Professor Blacks tactics brought was an easing environment for the students to learn, so not anything any student, especially the Slytherin, could hate about. It came to the point that no one could ever truly hate his classes.
Of course, that is if Harry could manage to get his potions right the first time around.
"Not bad, not bad, but you can do better, I'll make a potioneer out of you yet; Miss Ganger if you could do so the pleasure in helping Mister Potter with his potion I would be oh so great full," Professor Black said as he hurried over to Seamus's cauldron which seem to be bubbling uncontrollably and quite ready to explode.
But this left Harry vulnerable.
Just as class was about to end, Draco smirked and wrote on a piece of parchment to which he soon crumbled up and threw it at Harry.
But before any piece of crumped up parchment could when get anywhere near Harry, Professor Black appeared, or in this case apparated right on time to catch it.
"Mister Malfoy, bulling will not be permitted in any house and even more so in class," Professor Black said in a calming elegant tone as he opened the crumped paper, walking to an empty chalkboard. "As wizards and witches, by stooping to such means we become nothing more then primitive creatures. If one decide to prove themselves as superior; we show this though are abilities and are skills."
Harry saw Draco's face redden with embarrassment and anger. "This does bring into account that grammar is important when writing a message, there are proper words per proper means. For example Y-O-U-R is used when describing something that belongs to you while Y-O-U-'-R-E is used is phrasing "you are." Professor Black explained as he wrote it down on the board.
"With this being said I will expect an essay 10 inches long on the potion that cures boils which can be found in your books on page 43," Professor Black said as the student started to put their items away to go to their next class.
"AND MISTER MALFOY," Professor Black said louder then needed, "If I catch you bulling or using improper grammar, after school classes will be put into order which I'll make sure, your father will find out about. Class dismiss."
——-
By the time school ended, the Gryffindors in the common room were spreading their daily gossip on the Notorious Professor Black.
"Is apparation truly that difficult?" Harry said, not really sure why everyone was making a fuss about apparation.
"It is, witches and wizards that fail in it can end up appearing to one place missing a leg or hand. Not to mention that you need a license to by allowed to use apparation," Ron explained, "But to think, he would apparate just for show?"
"He didn't just do it for show, didn't you hear any word of his lecture? He was making a statement against bulling and the truth behind power. Yet I will admit, he was able to do advanced magic without a wand and quite effortlessly if I might add, being the fact the if you read Hogwarts: A History, the schools barriers make it difficult to preform such magic, and near impossible to apparate outside or inside Hogwarts. He must be extremely powerful to be able to apparate on school grounds so freely," Hermione inputted from her little corner of books as the other first years sat in the common room next to the fireplace as they continued on in discussion.
But of course, the Weasley twins took it upon themselves to bring trouble to the conversation.
"Don't be to surprised."
"Apparatation isn't the only thing his good at."
"Every year during winter break"
"Dumbledore and Black have a duel just outside of Hogwarts grounds."
"You can see it from the great hall if you like."
"Last year, they got a little overboard and knocked down the astronomy tower!"
"No one got hurt though."
"Then they went off for ice cream."
"After an hour, they came back."
"McGonagall, sent them to the corner and made them clean up their mess."
Fred and George started laughing just thinking of what would happen this year but this did not help the first years imagination and worry of their teacher accidentally crushing them with a tower.
Percy took a moment to think of what to say to calm the situation down and took in a breath, "All the Professors at Hogwarts exceeds in their teaching fields but then we have Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor Black who've excelled in multiple fields. But unlike Headmaster Dumbledore, Professor Black does everything in his power to excel all forms of magical knowledge which is why his called in to teach a class when a professor is not able to make it."
"So his a bloody genius," Ron said as he slinked down into his chair.
"No Ron, his studious which is something you should be doing as well, if you end up failing a single class, mother might just turn you into a cow," Percy warned.
"Then we can name you Ro-Moo," the twins said simultaneously which got Percy to chase them around which only proceeded to give the twins a good laugh.
Extra
•Regulus is a grammer god and no one can prove me wrong.
•Bold of you to assume that Regulus wouldn't train hard in magic knowing Voldemort is still alive.
•Every winter break, Regulus duels Dumbledore to see if he could hold his ground against him.
•The last duel held for 40 minutes, with Dumbledore toying with Regulus for the last 20 minutes to see how long the boy would last.
•They destroyed the astronomy tower and then went out for ice cream and McGonagall grounded both of them.
#regulus black potions master#regulus black#regulus black au#sirius and regulus#harry potter#hermione granger#ron weasley#fred weasley#george weasley#albus dumbledore#severus snape#draco malfoy
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