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lees-chaotic-brain · 4 months

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I want to tell Inumaki that he is Perfect. He is so expressive and loving even if he can't communicate...I feel like he would be sad for not being enough BUT LIKE HE IS THE NICEST IN WHOLE WORLD 😭😭😭😭 cryin rn

I was feeling really down, but writing this made me feel better, so thank you anon for sending this lovely little idea in.

CW: Shibuya spoilers, mentions of past injury, loss of limb, hurt/comfort, implied depression, insecurity, scars, non-sexual nudity

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“Hey baby, I’m back.”

You called out to your boyfriend as you stepped into your shared apartment. There was no response, but his shoes were in the doorway and his coat was hanging on his hook. Padding into the living space you still couldn’t find him.

“Hey, babe? Toge?”

Concerned you call out again. You knew things were rough for him right now with the five year anniversary of the loss of his arm coming up next week, but you hoped it wasn’t bad enough for him to run off.

The thought caused panic to bubble in you, your chest constricting as you hurriedly went to check the bedroom. The room was a mess, pictures and random scraps of paper strewn about. Picking up a few near the entrance, you realized that they were artifacts of your high school days. Pictures of you and Toge on dates, hanging out with the other second years, and sweet notes he wrote for you made up the mess scattered across the plush carpet.

Then your heart sank. As you surveyed the whirlwind of memories, you realized that they all had something in common. They were all from before the Shibuya Incident. Before he lost his arm.

Following the sound of running water, you pick your way across the room and push open the bathroom door. A blast of steam hits you in the face as you flip the lights and fan on. There he was.

He was sitting in the shower still wearing a pair of gray sweatpants, unresponsive as the near scalding water cascaded down on him. Without a second thought you peel off your shirt and socks before climbing into the shower with him. Crouching before him, you gently brush his sopping bangs out of his eyes.

“Hey babe. Found you.”

You smile softly at him, cupping his face with your right hand. He doesn’t respond, but he leans slightly into your touch.

“Can I hold you?”

You keep your voice gentle and quiet, your heart breaking for him. A slight, barely perceptible nod was the only sign that he even heard you. Maneuvering so you were sitting beside him, you wrap one arm around his back and lean against him. After a moment, he tilts his head so it’s resting on yours.

Sitting in silence, you give him the space and time he needs. After a long stretch of time, he pulls away and turns so you are facing him. You place your hand on his knee and squeeze it, silently telling him that you’re there for him, and he can take all the time he needs.

Clumsily, he begins signing with his remaining hand.

Why are you still with me?

Of all the things he could have asked or said, this was not one of the things you would have anticipated. You take a moment to think. Then you reply simply and bluntly, wanting to make sure that he understood what you were saying.

“Because you’re you. And I love you.”

He looks frustrated and his signing becomes jerkier as he speeds up.

But look at me!

He makes a vague gesture towards his entire body.

“I am. And all I see is the man I love.”

You have an idea where this is coming from, but you want to wait until he says it because the idea that he would think so lowly of himself physically pained you.

But I’m useless! His shoulders slump and he repeats the hand motion. Useless.

“You’re not useless.”

You say firmly.

“Not even in the slightest.”

I am though.

The haunted look of self-loathing looked unnatural on his gorgeous face.

I’m practically useless as a jujutsu sorcerer. I already have this technique that hurts me more than it helps others. Now I can’t even make up for my weakness with my physical ability because I lost my arm.

Tears join the shower water dripping down his face.

And not only am I a worthless jujutsu sorcerer, I’m a pathetic boyfriend. I can’t hold you, the person I love more than anything else in this world, in my arms. I’m not strong enough to protect you. Hell I can’t even tell you I love you with my words!

He averts his gaze to the water going down the drain.

And on top of all that, I’m selfish. I know I’m worthless. I know I’m not good enough for you, but I need you. I’m not a good enough person to let you go.

Finally done, his hand dropped to his side with a small splash.

“Hey.”

Your voice is loving, but insistent as you speak.

“Look at me.”

He complies, his lovely violet eyes dark and hopeless.

“You told me to look at you earlier. And I am. Do you know what I see?”

A pathetic man who-

You continue talking, ignoring him.

“I see the man I fell in love with in high school. He’s grown up and changed, but at heart he’s the same person.”

You caress his cheek, looking deep into his eyes.

“His face has sharpened and become more handsome.”

He shuddered against your palm as you brush your thumb along his cheekbone and jawline.

“His eyes show that he’s seen and experienced indescribable horrors. He’s lost that innocence. But I love him all the more for it. Because I’ve changed too. I’ve lost my innocent belief that we are untouchable. I’ve become harsher, more pessimistic, and less emotional. But you know what’s in my heart?”

You take his hand and place it on your chest. Quietly he watches you, and you can see that your words are starting to penetrate the self-hatred clouding his mind.

“In here lives the silly teenage girl who thought that she and all her loved ones were untouchable, invincible. The girl who cared too much about anything and anyone. The girl who spent hours daydreaming about going on romantic dates with her white haired classmate that always had a mischievous spark in his eyes. The girl who kept a meticulous journal of her dream wedding to a boy with purple eyes and beautiful markings around his mouth.”

The corners of Inumaki’s mouth lifted a miniscule amount and his eyes softened as he remembered. Encouraged, you reach behind you and turn the water off. Continuing to speak, you begin removing his soaked sweatpants.

“As for your inability to tell me that you love me with your words, that has never bothered me.”

Placing the sweatpants beside you to deal with later, you gently tug on his arm until he stands and steps out of the shower.

“Honestly, I like it better that way.”

He shoots you a disbelieving look at your words, but allows you to dry him off before helping him into a fresh pair of boxers and sweatpants.

“Really, I do. It’s so easy to say the words ‘I love you’ and not mean them at all. It’s a lot harder to fake it or lie if you have to express them through your actions. The way you worked so hard everyday to make sure I knew how you felt made me feel even more secure and loved than a few shallow words could.”

You quickly dry yourself off and change into a fresh pair of panties and a new shirt. Leading out of the bathroom and into your bedroom, you sit in the middle of your bed and lay a towel across your lap before patting it. Obediently he laid down and put his head on your lap. You began drying his hair.

“You’re special, Toge. You express yourself through physical touch and acts of service, and have never verbally said the words ‘I love you’ to me, but let me tell you. Not once, in the five and a half years we’ve been dating, have I doubted for even a second that you loved me. Do you understand? I don’t need you to be able to say the words to me. I already know.”

After you finished drying his hair, he sat up and faced you.

But what about my arm? Do you really want to be with me still? I’m disfigured and disabled.

The look in your eyes is so tender he can barely stand it. Why? Why do you look at him with such love and affection?

“Toge.”

You breathe, the look on your face telling him that you knew exactly what was running through his mind.

“I didn’t fall in love with you because of these.”

You squeeze his bicep.

“I fell in love with you because of this.”

You tap his temple.

“And because of this.”

You lay your palm flat against his chest. Looking up at him, he can see the sincerity shining in your eyes.

“I love you for you, Toge. You could be the ugliest, most ratchet mf to ever roam the face of the planet and I would still love you. Because you will always be my person. And I hope that I’ll always be yours.”

He nods, smiling at your word choice as tears well in his eyes, relief hitting him like a freight train as you managed to say exactly what he needed to hear. Tugging your arm, you help him pull you into his lap. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he buries his face in your neck as you drape your arms around his neck and card through his hair.

He presses repeated kisses against the crook of your neck, each one a silent apology for doubting the love you shared.

You rested your cheek against his soft white hair and took comfort in the intimacy of the moment. Kissing the side of his head, you whisper the words you so desperately want him to engrain into his soul and never forget.

“You, Inumaki Toge, are perfect. Just the way you are.”

#lee's brain writes #end of 2023 collab #inumaki x reader #inumaki toge x reader #toge inumaki x reader #inumaki x you #hurt/comfort #jjk x reader #enjoy this soft insecure baby boy inumaki #bc in my eyes he's a little gremlin/troll who loves to make mischief #also a meme master #but i was feeling depressed and sentimental so here you go #idk if you're going to get an inumaki fic not about him being a little shit again

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marrowwife · 6 months

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'I could fix him' well I could let him corrupt me until I was something altogether worse than him

#i could fix him #i could make him worse #what if he made me worse huh?#meme #marrow writes #this could be about hannibal #if you squint

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extra-somethin-somethin · 1 month

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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head #ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it #like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like #kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all #and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo #and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like #now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay #kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello #why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine #but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him #they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like #it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met #kurama and hiei #kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back #they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan #yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc #and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing #it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next #cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe #okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept #kuwameshi #yu yu hakusho #kuwabara kazuma #yusuke urameshi #koenma

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terezis · 8 months

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Lup's holding up the line at the green grocer's stall, idly inspecting a rutabaga for stem rot, when she spots him.

It's crowded at the market this time of day, and his back is turned as he makes his way down the street, but Lup would know him anywhere. Warm brown skin, so much like her own, long hair loosely braided and golden blond in the afternoon sun—hell, he’s even wearing a dumb hat.

That's her brother. That's Taako.

Barry turns to look at her, but Lup's already walking—running—pushing through throngs of startled shoppers before her mouth can catch up to her legs to explain, heart in her throat.

It's him. It's really Taako this time. Of course after years of searching she'd find him when she least expected it, when they weren't even really looking. A giddy laugh builds in her chest as she reaches him—hand on his shoulder, he turns his head; gods, what is she even going to say, where the hell have you been, loco—

Wide eyes. Round ears, maybe mid-twenties, but it's always hard to tell with humans; gender indeterminate. The person who is decidedly not Lup's brother blinks at her, frowning a little, and says, "Can I help you?"

Lup opens her mouth. Closes it. Drops her hand and takes a polite step back. "No," she says, “My bad. Thought you were someone else." The stranger nods and turns away.

It doesn’t take Barry long to catch up. Lup's still staring down the road, hands balled into fists at her side. She grits her teeth and swallows, then turns to smile at him.

"Sorry, babe," she says. "Didn't mean to ditch you." Barry, ever the angel, just pulls her into a hug. The warm circle of his arms is comforting, just like it always is. Lup exhales. "I really thought it was him this time, Bear."

“I know,” Barry tells her. He must be a little out of breath from running after her. His breath tickles her ear. He pauses. "I mean, the resemblance was kinda uncanny. Did you see that hat?"

Lup squeezes her eyes shut. "Barry, what if he's just gone?"

Barry doesn’t respond, just holds her tighter. They should really get out of the road. Townsfolk weave around them, wagons—people headed to and from the market square, buying dinner, going home to their families. Lup can’t relate. "We'll find him, Lu,” he says. “Next town, for sure."

That's the third time he's said that this month, but Lup still badly wants to believe him. She forces herself to try. Who knows—maybe one of these days he'll finally be right.

Lup can't remember the last time she saw her brother.

That's kind of the whole problem. It's so stupid. If she knew where she lost him, she'd at least know where to start looking; but hard as she tries, the whens and wheres of Taako's disappearance escape her, ephemeral like smoke. It’s like he was there one day and gone the next.

[ok that’s all i got for now but wouldn’t this be juicy]

#sorry i asked about funny vegetables and then didn't make a funny vegetable joke it just didn't work LMAO #can i offer up a twilight meme instead #writing

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nights-flying-fox · 7 months

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Mystic Sickness Part 1

This is based on @turtleblogatlast 's post about mystic sickness idea :D Hope you like it!!!

Word Count: 2178 ☆ Fandom: rottmnt ☆ Warnings: a brief mention of throwing up, nothing else i can think of ^^ ☆ AO3 Link: N/A

Raph has had his bad mornings. He had been sick from overworking too. With how he felt today, he could tell it was a mix of both.

Except it turned out there was more than that. It must be, or else why would a clone of himself stare at him like that?

Raph yelped as he fell from the bed. "What the-?!"

His copy didn't seem to care. It lay on his bed, not even looking at Raph. The turtle blinked in confusion. That was definitely his own ninpo copy. Why was it here, and why was it moving like that? Raph tried to focus and control it, just like he always did, but he failed. The copy still lay on the bed.

He stared at him. Raph was too tired for that, not to mention how early it was-

"AH-"

Raph turned around. "Leo?"

There was nobody else in his room though.

"Is this some sort of joke?" Raph grunted. "If so, Raph's going back to bed and leavin' you to deal with today's plans alone. All day."

"RAPH NO-"

He turned around again, looking everywhere searching for his brother. Again, nothing.

"I am really not in the mood for pranks-"

Suddenly Leo appeared in front of him, "RAPH HELP I-" and disappeared.

Raph looked at the empty spot where a second ago his brother stood. First his own copy, now Leo. What was going on?

"RAAAAAPH!!"

Raph groaned, “WHAT IS IT DONNIE?”

“WHAT THE HECK ARE YOUR COPIES DOING?!”

His copies? Raph glanced at his copy on his bed before leaving his room and heading to the living room. He had many ideas, most of them nonsense considering his tired and hazy mind. But nothing could’ve prepared him for this:

Many copies of himself running around, accidentally breaking some stuff, some sitting in random places... Donnie was standing at the other entrance, looking tired and angry. Pissed off even.

He noticed Raph looking. “Dear brother, may you explain what is going on during such an early hour that you have decided bring out a whole army of yous?”

“It is not me...” Raph mumbled as he walked towards Donnie, not being able to look away from the chaos going on in the room.

“They are your copies though. Can’t you control them?” Donnie pointed out. “Genuinely asking. I am too tired to be salty.”

“I tried but it is not working.” Raph tried again, failing. Then gave his full attention to Donnie, “You are tired too?”

“I suspect I have caught a cold.” He nodded.

“Me too. I’ve been feeling down since I woke up.”

“Groan. It better not be some sort of illness.” Donnie said.

“As long as it is not rat flu, it will be okay.” Raph reassured.

Donnie shuddered. “Rat flu. Let’s forget about the failure and move on to our current problem.”

“Cold or them?” Raph asked.

“...” Donnie stared at nothing before answering. A usual sign of Donnie being sick. “Yes.”

“Okay, okay. Sickness. Leo has the most knowledge about this.” Raph said out loud. “I’ll go and ask him.”

“Mhm.” Donnie had already begun walking towards the kitchen.

Raph started walking towards Leo’s room, ignoring the messy hallway. Since when did they have all that stuff and who was responsible for this mess? Probably his clones... When he reached to the room, “Leo?” he called. He received no reply. Raph didn’t bother asking again. He walked in, not caring about Leo’s upcoming protests. Except there was none because Leo wasn’t in there. “What?..”

Oh. Right, he had seen Leo for a second in his room for a second. He had appeared and disappeared as if teleporting. But Raph didn’t remember seeing his katanas. He glanced around and saw the swords near his bed on the ground. He was right.

What did this mean?.. What was going on this morning?? Raph began getting annoyed with whatever was going on. Not to mention how anxious he started feeling not finding Leo in his room. Where was he?

Maybe he was with Mikey. Maybe they were doing some stupid prank.

Raph a bit faster from before left the room and began walking towards Mikey’s room. Normally Mikey would be up, making breakfast. But if he and Donnie were right, he should be in his room resting. As he stepped into Mikey’s room, he hopped to see him and Leo doing some sort of mischief.

Instead, he found Mikey levitating, golden chains around him, asleep.

“What the shell?!”

Mikey yawned, blinking. “Mmmmmorning Raphie!” He smiled, being the morning person he was. “Is there any possibility you let me sleep a bit more?”

“Mikey, you are flying.”

“What?”

“Look around, Mike.”

Mikey did. In a second his expression shifted from confused to shocked to excited to panicked. “I AM FLYING!”

“THAT’S WHAT I AM SAYING!” Raph yelled. “GET BACK TO THE GROUND NOW.”

“I DON’T KNOW HOW TO!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW?!”

“Boys, what is all this yelling for?..” Raph heard Splinter’s voice come from behind. Then he heard a gasp. “ORANGE WHY ARE YOU LEVIATING?”

“I have no idea.” Mikey answered. He noticed the chains around him, “Oooh I also have no idea what these are but cool.”

Raph took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. First things first. Pops, have you seen Leo?”

“Uh- no. No, I haven’t.” Splinter turned his attention to Raph, less surprised and more worried.

“Mikey, did you see him?”

“Nope!”

So Leo was lost. Don’t panic Raph. He is probably somewhere around here, he thought. “I’ll text April.”

“Red, is everythin—”

Suddenly, just like how it happened in Raph’s room, Leo appeared in the room. He looked very puzzled, tired, annoyed, and a bit panicked. Before Raph could be sure, Leo disappeared again.

His voice, however, was heard from another room. “COME ON!!”

And then from another room, they heard him again. Raph couldn’t make up the words but he sounded irritated.

“Was that Leo?” Mikey asked.

“Yes.” Raph answered, still very confused.

“Where did he go?”

“I don’t know.”

“Boys, what is going on?” Splinter sounded serious.

Raph sadly didn’t have a proper answer. “That’s what I am trying to figure out.” He sighed. “Can you check Donnie? He is in the kitchen and said that he felt sick too.”

“I will be waiting you two there.” Splinter nodded. “I’ll look around for Blue on the way.”

“CAN SOMEONE—”

Leo’s voice came from his room.

“—HELP ME—”

This time from somewhere closer.

“I think I can handle him.” Raph said.

Splinter smiled, “I’ll make you chicken soup.”

“Thanks Dad.”

As Splinter left, Raph reached for Mikey. Grabbing his blanket, he pulled him closer to him. Mikey watched him with sleepy eyes. “Raphie, can we sleep more?”

“No, Big Man. We need to help Leo first, and then we need to eat something.” Raph said softly, walking out of the room meanwhile. Mikey huffed but didn’t protest. Raph decided to find Leo following his voice: “Leo? Where are you?”

“RAPH! Bathroom—” Suddenly his voice was cut. Then continued from somewhere else, “Never mind. I-” Another pause. The Leo calmly yelled, “I’ll go insane.”

“What’s happening?” Raph shouted.

“I keep teleported-” “-without wanting-” “-to every second.”

“That sounds bad.”

“You don’t say-” “DONNIE IS THA-” “THAT WAS MY MUG!!”

At least Leo didn't teleport out of the lair.

"I think we should call Draxum." Mikey hummed, somehow unbothered.

"Wha- why?" Splinter's reaction hadn't changed even after everything.

"He knows about mystic stuff." Mikey said lazily. It reminded Raph of how he was when he had eaten one of the poisoned pizza puffs.

"You think this is because of a mystic problem?" Raph asked.

"I know it is because of a mystic problem." Mikey confirmed.

"How?"

"Can't you feel it? Hm?"

Raph wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel. Donnie leaned towards them, goggles on his eyes. "He is right. There is something wrong with our mystic energies."

"I'm calling Draxum." Raph announced.

"Already on it." Donnie interrupted. He, from out of nowhere, had found his phone and was calling the yokai.

"Please tell me you're solving this." Leo appeared next to Raph, not looking good.

"We're calling Draxum." Mikey smiled.

"Oh good, because I- hrk-"

Luckily before he could throw up, he disappeared.

"We need you here. No, we didn't put the world in danger. We aren't dying either. No, we aren't calling you so you can cook us your new abomination. Abomination as a strange creature made of food, i.e. Sloppy Joseph. No, I'm not talking about your food. Yes. There's a problem with our ninpo. Okay, goodbye." Donnie put the phone on the table. "He'll be here soon."

"Good… Donnie, what's that?" Raph pointed at the tech that wasn't on the table a second ago.

"Ah. A piece for my new project. Why?"

"When did you bring it here?"

"...I didn't."

"What do you mean I didn't?"

Donnie raised a brow. "I didn't bring it here. I was thinking about it and it appeared."

"Appeared?"

Donnie shrugged.

"Since when do things appear when you think of them, Dee?" Raph questioned.

"That's a talent of mine, dear Raphael. My ninpo is very unique in comparison to yours–" Donnie began explaining.

"Since when do they appear without you controlling them?" Raph corrected his own question.

"Ah. Yes, that would be… since last night."

"And you didn't think of telling us?" Raph was losing his patience, to be honest.

"I didn't think it would be a problem." Donnie admitted.

Raph wanted to break the table. "You thought it wouldn't be a problem." He repeated. "And what if you accidentally create something deadly?"

"Come on Raph, he creates something deadly all the time." Mikey chimed in. "Like pipe bombs."

"Mikey, don't!" But Raph was too late. A pipe bomb was formed next to Donnie's mug.

"None of us is dumb enough to use a pipe bomb, we will be fine." Donnie stated. Then took a sip from his tea.

Raph wasn't sure about that. He trusted his brothers, but he also knew how much of a trouble they could be.

Leo appeared among them again. "Dee, I'd suggest you not enter your lab." He said tiredly.

"Nardo, what did you do to my lab?" Donnie looked at him with a mixture of horror and anger.

"Adiós." He made a peace sign and disappeared again.

Donnie immediately opened his phone to check the cameras inside his laboratory. Raph could see the fury in his eyes. Maybe Leo was lucky to be teleported every second, now that he got on Donnie's hit list.

Splinter put bowls of chicken soup in front of them, "You boys look terrible."

"Thanks." Raph sighed.

"You'll feel much better after my delicious soup." He said. "Now, only if Blue could join us…"

The soup was warm and smelled delicious. Raph couldn't wait to taste it. He would already, if he hadn't noticed his copy coming in. Ninpo Raph walked towards them, stood by them, then took the pipe bomb and ran.

"What the-?! HEY STOP!" Raph got up and ran after him, leaving Mikey to float again.

He chased his clone back to the living room, but it was hard to catch yourself. Especially in a room full of yourself. He stopped, trying to find which one was the right clone. When he did, he was leaving towards the bathroom. Raph didn't waste time following him. Before he reached him though, someone made his copy trip and fell.

"This yours, Boss Man?" Leo asked.

"Yep." And with a punch, poof the copy disappeared. "Thanks."

"Save me some soup." Leo said before getting teleported again.

"I will." Raph sighed, taking the pipe bomb from the ground. He could hide it in his room for now. Then go back and drink some soup so he can focus on the situation better when Draxum arrives. Perfect plan.

He quickly walked to his room, found a nice place to hide it, and proceeded to grab his mask and stuff. Then he remembered the transceivers Donnie had put on their gear. They could use this to communicate with Leo! If only Leo can stand in a place for a moment. Raph still thought it was worth a try, so he went to Leo’s room to get his stuff as well before returning to the kitchen.

Donnie had dozed off on the table with a few weapons and tech things that Raph didn’t know their names around him. Mikey was still floating, also sleeping. He seemed to be fine though. Splinter was enjoying his own bowl of soup. Raph sat down and finally tasted the soup. It was delicious, as always, even though it wasn’t warm anymore.

“Did you boys mess up with somebody evil again?” Splinter asked Raph.

“No, we were training and patroling the past few days.” He answered. “That’s what I don’t understand too.”

“Hmm...”

“Don’t worry, Pops. I am sure it is something Draxum can explain. Then we can fix it all at once and then rest.”

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