Something very unfortunate, but my enthusiasm for columbo has made my friend, for some reason, not like him! How can they not like him? D: He's just a little guy!
honestly? i totally understand. and i run this blog.
columbo is likeable because we always see his best qualities. he does valiant work at a noble job. he's strong, he's intelligent; he's kind, he's just. he makes the right deductions and then makes sure he's right before acting upon them. he's played by peter falk. so yeah, most people want to kick back and have a beer with columbo, even (especially?) some of the people he puts in handcuffs.
but for a second, wash columbo of his charm, kindness, and intellect: the man is an evil fucking bastard. he is naturally annoying--one of his superpowers, which he knows and exploits. he is calculating, devious, manipulative. his overly polite, ingratiating manner wears very thin very quickly, doubly so if he's choosing to play especially dumb. he's a sadistic, disgusting, deceptive little troll who drops by unannounced and practically forces his way into your house, occupying it when it seems like he doesn't even need to be there, flaunting his authority. on top of it all he insists on billowing that cheap, stinking cigar smoke in your face, dropping ashes everywhere while smiling so smugly, so condescendingly, that you want to wring his little neck, his mumbling voice dripping with feigned apology all the while. he asks if you can use your phone, but not really, because he's actually telling you he's using it as he picks it up and makes a call before you can even open your mouth.
through it all, he outright implies that you or someone you love is a homicidal maniac.
then he fucking breaks your television. suddenly, mrs. peck becomes very sympathetic
now i'll ask you to imagine that, on top of all the aforementioned, columbo was, even once, wrong about who the killer was. i am asking you to sit there and imagine the most endearing waterboarding session you can. imagine subjecting an innocent human being to a punishment so cruel and unusual. imagine, as peter falk himself described, that a bunch of little ducks are nibbling at you, pecking at you in a hellish, promethean bid to get you to finally scream to the heavens in confession for your crime.
columbo is eminently lovable, but that love hinges entirely on the fact that he's always right. because if he isn't, he's worse than merely annoying--he's evil.
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well it seems youtube on firefox is no longer letting me play videos in anything higher than 720p, and some its only allowing me to view in 360p. and while duckduckgo's duck player works fine, if i stream it over discord, no audio can be heard on the stream (╬▔皿▔)╯
guess im stuck having other people be forced to stream the videos for me i guess until some tech genius starts having this problem as well and creates a workaround.
fuck youtube, fuck google, fuck every big tech company (and every non-tech company while we're at it), fuck every greedy capitalistic pig who is purposefully making my life more irritating and inconvenient for me just because they can. now where's that damn guillotine
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prommy i'm not trying to liveblog which i can't even do extensively b/c while i Must speak at length, it sure takes time and effort all the same. but i'm hype delighted again like, midway through, talking to the mvp brasso friend with this kind of....not entirely sure what blue collar gig he's got here lol but. cassian walking up and their earnest exchange turning into cassian's ;0 ;0 ;0 [no Actual obvious cues abt the transition] implicitly asking him for an alibi by "correcting" him about what he did last night, as what They did last night. and my taking a second to catch on just like the other guy brasso, Immersive. and i love the way things don't feel like predictable such that there's no slight surprises / reasons to be attentive like this, but also aren't like confusing or incomprehensible. i'm already hype remembering how brasso here responds by just rolling with it, seguing right into playing along, and then their talking between the lines of their story they're constructing together. hype enough i'll leave this open while i actually watch through the rest of the exchange. ooh yeah the way you're kind of waiting along as well to see if brasso's "correction" to their story here is going to be a rejection of it, but actually he's adding to it to cover cassian being a bit banged up And to even extend the story to include a reason they're now standing together talking right at this very moment. ah and i guess they're coworkers also? even though cassian's plot allows for no day job material that we see
also that i'm hype b/c it's like, heartwarming lol, this guy is just like yeah i've got you with your cover story even though i don't now what for and cassian didn't try to answer who might be asking for it. the way you get the lore that cassian gets into trouble already and the way that if someone's in trouble that can get the people around them in trouble, if someone's vulnerable that can make the people around them vulnerable, and obviously that's not ideal but also there's nothing for it and you can't throw them to the wolves, or rather, you sure can but the like effective collective punishment of it all to preclude its being easier to unionize or indeed help insulate each other from whatever vulnerability is like, the deliberate strategy, of course it's best re: that strategy if taking on the inherent increased vulnerability of being involved with, or supporting, or helping other people is deemed not worth it, or gets people focused on blaming the people in trouble rather than the people behind whatever reprisal instead. fun understandable moments when bix is head in hands about helping cassian out in a pinch, and then when her space boyf is like look as her space ex who seems to always be stressing her out when you come by i'm not the biggest fan, and that he responds to cassian's brushoff abt her being tougher than both of them with the line along the lines of "i'm getting tired of hearing that" is like, again yeah fun understandable lol but then narcing on cassian to get the space cops to solve his problem? like, not the way, and of course now pointing the feds in that direction doesn't just smoothly work out, the comeuppance in his dying b/c calling this down on them also gets bix caught up in things, you're all [handshake] w/cassian in this scenario in how you're viewed here and that None of your best interests will be catered to today....nothing for it trying to get anything out of the [police state life] situation, nor is the way that if anyone's more vulnerable than everyone else, you just shut them out or push them in front of the bus, even if the bus is cruising around trying to pick up them specifically. metaphors. feels all like v apt setup for the more significant return to ferrix at the end involving maarva bringing some politics like "i'm the first brick at stonewall, we can't Just get by forever" and cassian like well i Will be having to come through for bix though. wrote it, post it
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This is a BLOG SET UP tag drop. Wishlist, answered, promos, about blog, permanent starter call, stats are all tags under the cut. This tag set up are different quotes for all the tags in this section.
* … ( OOC : ramblings. ) › ❝ she has a mouth like unswept glass. it will CUT you when you least expect it. ❞
* … ( OOC : ooc answered. ) › ❝ you have the words to change a nation and yet? you’ve been BITING your tongue. ❞
* … ( OOC : about the mun. ) › ❝ she has kind of said too much. and you’ve said ENOUGH. promise that she is just another narcissist. ❞
* … ( OOC : original poetry. ) › ❝ prefers her work to be RECOGNISED rather than hidden. either way? she won’t go speechless. ❞
* … ( OOC : self promo. ) › ❝ a little self-promo featured on the dash never really KILLED anyone. has it? ❞
* … ( OOC : promo. ) › ❝ the best people completely DESERVING of all of your love & attention on shining spotlights of their own. ❞
* … ( OOC : musings. ) › ❝ she is brave and STRONG and broken all at once. ❞
* … ( OOC : nsfw. ) › ❝ mascara runnin’ and lipstick smudged. wearing a red wine stained dress with a hint of the DEVIL in her eyes. ❞
* … ( OOC : desires. ) › ❝ took her hours just to do her makeup right. if you’re the reason it gets ruined she’ll be PISSED tonight. ❞
* … ( OOC : wanted plots. ) › ❝ wish I never hung up the phone like I did. WISH you knew that I’d never forget you as long as I live. ❞
* … ( OOC : wishlist. ) › ❝ let a shooting star run across a MIDNIGHT sky. throw a coin into a wishing well. make a wish now. ❞
* … ( OOC : ask meme. ) › ❝ she hates playing MIND games but yet continues pulling and pushing. loving you is a losing game. ❞
* … ( OOC : about blog. ) › ❝ doesn’t start with once upon a time. you know what she’ll introduce the LEGACY with? always and forever. ❞
* … ( OOC : plotting starter call. ) › ❝ handle it? are you kidding? she’s the master of SKILLFULLY planning the next tactical moves. ❞
* … ( OOC : statistics. ) › ❝ you and me got a whole lot of history. so does it ever drive you CRAZY just how fast the night changes? ❞
* … ( OOC : templates. ) › ❝ your lack of proper organisation causes her serious DISTRESS beyond what you could possibly fathom. ❞
* … ( OOC : credits. ) › ❝ the ABSOLUTE best lifesaving content creators. ❞
… ( OOC : all headcanons. ) › ❝ fact is deleted scenes should’ve made canon. would take over CONTROL of her original narrative. ❞
* … ( OOC : all replies. ) › ❝ written in these walls are the STORIES that I can’t explain. leave my heart open but it stays here empty. ❞
* … ( OOC : all answered. ) › ❝ watch out for a furious writer with a vocabulary of sharpened CONVICTION and quills in her arsenal. ❞
* … ( OOC : all edits. ) › ❝ nobody remembers the easy. they REMEMBER the blood, sweat and tears shed on the journey. ❞
* … ( OOC : reblogged. ) › ❝ don’t play the person. play to rig the game of the unfair system. and BREAK through the walls of it. ❞
* … ( OOC : reshared. ) › ❝ she’ll intend to keep these polaroids with her CAPTIONED signature to remember for when she’s grey. ❞
* … ( OOC : psa. ) › ❝ thank you next. in ADVANCE? you’re welcome. ❞
* … ( OOC : verses. ) › ❝ mayhaps in another world things would’ve been DIFFERENT. and I could’ve made you stay. ❞
* … ( OOC : verse drop. ) › ❝ she wants to be your midnights. are we out of the woods yet? tell me where do broken hearts go. ❞
* … ( OOC : queue. ) › ❝ just called to say this is the LAST you’ll be hearing from me. ‘cause now i’ve moved on. ❞
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