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harriet-de-g · 4 months

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Toujours mal quelque part

Avoir mal, quand ça dure depuis longtemps, c’est jamais juste avoir mal : c’est devoir adapter son quotidien, gérer l’incompréhension des proches, et faire plein de petits deuils, tout en gardant des espaces de joie. La douleur chronique est un truc qui touche énormément de gens. Pourtant, en dehors des recommandations médicales habituelles, peu de ressources s’attardent sur la gestion du quotidien. Comment on fait quand on n’a pas une thune ? Comment on en parle autour de soi, comment on adapte son existence à une donnée aussi imprévisible ?

Ce zine est un début de piste, qui s’adresse autant aux personnes qui vivent avec des douleurs chroniques, ainsi qu’à celle qui les entoure. Il te dira pas d’aller voir un médecin ou de faire du yoga, tu fais bien comme tu veux. Il existe juste pour te dire qu’il est possible de se rendre la vie plus facile et moins solitaire, même quand on a mal.

Il a aussi été pensé comme un outil pratique qu'on a envie de garder pas loin, avec des espaces de prises de notes et des illustrations pour accompagner sa lecture 🌱.

"Toujours mal quelque part" est disponible en pré-commande à prix libre. Il suffit de m'envoyer un message privé en précisant ce qu’on veut payer, son mail & selon le mode d'envoi : une adresse. Ce soutient financier servira en premier lieu à imprimer et diffuser ce zine. Plus largement, il contribue à l’existence de mon travail et j’en suis très reconnaissant·e. Comme d’hab, une version en ligne est est disponible en fin d'article.

À titre indicatif ✉️ Pour la poste française, le coût d'envoi est à partir de 2,90€ selon le volume, (1€ pour le reste de l'Europe).

Le zine fait une quarantaine de pages, imprimé sur papier bouffant, intégralement en couleur.

Toutes les références à la fin et bien plus sont répertoriées dans ce post.

Lien de téléchargement :

En page par page.

En cahier à imprimer et relier.

J’espère que vous aurez autant de plaisir à le lire que moi à le créer, à très vite!

#zine making #zine promo #criptheory #chronic pain #chronic illness #pain management #invisible illness #invisible disability #maladie #handicap

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lesouffleurdemots · 3 months

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l'ABC des handicaps invisibles

26 lettres pour vous parler des handicaps invisiblesEt pourtant… Ce fut galère de trouver et je vous laisse trouver les intrus ! ⚠ Pour rappel, les handicaps invisibles concernent 80% des handicaps. 🚹 Un handicap invisible est un handicap non détectable, qui ne peut pas être remarqué si la personne concernée n’en parle pas. Les handicaps invisibles regroupent :🔸 les maladies invalidantes…

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#handicap invisible #Humour #Lexique #Maladies #Sensibilisation

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musographes · 1 year

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Se plonger dans l’histoire des modèles vivants, c’est aussi se rendre compte de choses comme cela (clin d’œil à l’actu sur la réforme des retraites).

#pénibilité #histoire des modèles vivants #modèle d’arts plastiques #travailleurs invisibles #précaires #droits sociaux #beaux-arts #life models #maladies professionnelles #life drawing #anatomie #artists models

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buckyclevens · 10 days

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john confesses to gale (excerpt from my postwar fic)

inspired by the line in the movie tropical malady, "when i gave you the clash tape, i forgot to give you my heart. you can have it today"

John reaches out in the darkness and carefully places a hand on Gale’s warm shoulder. He doesn’t stir. His skin is soft.

“When I gave you my lucky deuce,” John whispers. “I forgot to give you my heart. You can have it today.”

The words are out. Doesn’t matter if Gale is asleep, John reasons, he said the words and they’re out. An invisible weight lifts itself from his shoulders and a vice unclenches from around his heart. John exhales softly. He closes his eyes, leaving his hand on Gale’s shoulder, grateful that he hasn’t stirred.

A moment before John falls into unconsciousness, he feels Gale’s hand come up to cover his own. He feels the mattress shift and opens his eyes to see Gale’s face inches from his own, lit up by the moonlight streaming bright through the window. At their feet, Cinnamon curls herself into a tight bun, purring softly.

“You’ve always had my heart, John,” he says, taking John’s hand and bringing his fingers to his lips. He holds his breath, spellbound as Gale presses his lips to each of John’s knobby knuckles, Gale’s eyes closed as he does so. Gale’s lips are so soft, though chapped, and John’s too tired to resist the thought of imagining his lips on his own.

#clegan #buck x bucky #johngale #mota #julia writes #i'm at such a loss with this fic lol

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shuttershocky · 5 months

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i was wondering if you could give some general tips for is3? i have a decently developed account but i still cant manage to even get to the first boss every run, let alone beat it. like most runs in is2 i could at least beat Lucian but here i feel like im hitting a brick wall

I've prepared something special for this ask today.

We will be doing a full breakdown of a squad I've run with restrictions. It's a run I just completed as I'm typing this, so I can go over my thought process on both team building and path taking. I also won a run on my first try with the restrictions in place (in fact my IS3 winrate is actually much higher than my IS2 winrate at this point), so I'm fairly confident my strategies are sound. If the massive text scares you, don't worry. I'll also make a TL;DR version at the bottom.

My Three Restrictions:

Ch'en the Holungday, Gavial the Invincible, Mlynar, Kal'tsit, Texas the Omertosa, Pozyomka, Horn, Ling, Goldenglow, and Yato x Kirin are banned - This is a combination of both CN's usual ban list for IS3 competitions, as well as the latest ban list on Lungmen Dragon's latest IS3 competition for Global. This is to show that I don't need meta ops to win that proper teambuilding is what wins runs

Must be Wave 5 - This means the difficulty is low enough to still be considered "low level IS3", but high enough to have the +1 hope cost, +10 RES, and +15% ATK and DEF on all bosses

CANNOT pick People-Oriented Squad - This means I've got to deal with the big hope costs.

And here is my results screen

Now I know what you're thinking. "What the fuck Shutters, your run got the -2 hope costs for 4 stars, AND for 5 stars, AND the 6 stars! Carried by RNG!" While it is fucking hilarious I got all three Hope cost reduction relics when I was trying to starve myself of hope, be assured I didn't get 6 stars - 2 Hope until late Floor 4 where it was hardly relevant. i'd actually rather have gotten combat relics since I still had Hope leftover by the ending.

Let's get into teambuilding and decision-making.

I started this run with 8 Hope (got the pre-run bonus for +2 starting Hope), which let me recruit one 6 star at the very start (I always go with As You Wish so I can get a 4 star for free). In this case, the random shuffle I got was a 4 star Defender voucher, a Vanguard voucher, and a supporter voucher. My starting squad was Gummy, Ines, and Orchid.

In both IS2 and IS3, a usual strategy is to have one core 6 star operator carry you through the early game until you grab more vouchers. Ines is an incredible starting core in this difficulty, since she sees through Invis, is a fast redeploy, is a vanguard, can block enemies, and has enough damage in S2 to get you through Symbiosis in the worst case scenario. I'm actually surprised she isn't considered ban-worthy.

Your biggest threats in the first two floors are Symbiosis, Sniper Squad (if emergency), and Malady. Always, ALWAYS try to have one operator capable of blocking enemies on the ground. If you get all ranged vouchers, bring someone with a summon such as Beeswax if Caster (or Amiya then change to Guard Amiya), an Artificer for Supporters, or Totter (to kill invis) or Rosmontis for Snipers. If you get Emergency Sniper Squad and have no way of blocking or killing invisible units, you autolose. Malady wants you to have either two melee blockers, or one melee with a medic and some ranged damage. Symbiosis is the biggest threat — One unit has to be able to block, and you need strong DPS to cut through the horde. There's no shame in losing to Symbiosis, you either got the operators you need, or you autolose, so I always make a starting team assuming I'm gonna get Symbiosis.

I got lucky with a medic voucher and got Pith (who is so damn good), and on my next defender voucher I got Spot instead of upgrading Gummy. This is because I wanted to get two sources of melee block-3 ASAP since I was lacking in AOE, and Spot is one of the best 3 stars in IS thanks to being Block-3, tanky, having a heal, and evasion. He's worth the 1 hope.

Once you get ground units and a heal, hopefully by Floor 2, you want to start preparing for Floors 3-5. In this case, I got a Sniper voucher and immediately got Kroos the Keen Glint. I consider Kroos the strongest Sniper in IS3 just behind Pozy herself, because she has two traits any IS3 team needs: a source of stun/bind/freeze, and strong anti-air. The Stun/Bind/Freeze counters two gimmick enemies, UFOs (I forgot their real names but you know which ones) and the hated Nethersea Predators from Stulifera Navis. Both enemy types get countered by crowd control.

So by early Floor 3, I had Ines (promoted), Kroos the Keen Glint, Pith (promoted), Spot, and Gummy. At that point I had pretty much everything I needed to make a run to Floor 5 (to reiterate: one fast redeploy, several ground operators, good anti-air, at least one source of stun that can also hit air units), so I began grabbing operators that synergized with my collectibles. Hand of Pulverization meant Rosmontis, uh, pulverized everything, Gnosis was a second source of crowd control in case I got unlucky with Kroos' stun crit RNG (protip: In IS, getting two different kinds of operators who have overlapping roles will carry you deeper into runs since it gives you leeway to make mistakes), and I got Firewatch for that mix of AOE burst damage, invis if need be, and for her incredibly high damage against ranged enemies.

I got two cursed relics on the way. - light per battle, and all operators start with -15 SP. I always try to pick a path with Fortuitous Opportunity since you can trade cursed relics for good ones. Luckily, I had two such nodes, one in Floor 3 and one in Floor 4.

If operators get cursed (which can indeed be instant losses if it's a bad curse very early on and on your core operator), I go for the node that lets you send units out for supplies, it removes curses and promotes operators. At Wave 5 or below you always start with 100 Light, so it's possible to avoid instant loss curses by playing well in Floors 1-2 and not losing any lives (so even if you roll a 1 you don't get cursed)

While you can start freestyling team building once you have your important roles all assembled, I personally like grabbing counters to Floor 4/5 stages that have the biggest chances of ending my run. For this run in particular, these are

Lin, for Out of Control - This stage is one of the most terrifying no matter how experienced in IS3 you are, simply from the sheer amount of Possessed and Bonethrowers coming at you. Lin hard counters this, since with her module active, Bonethrowers cannot break her shield, giving you a tank that doesn't need medics.

Franka for Ubi Bona Somnia - Those spear-zombies from originium dust have 2000 DEF and 80 RES (90 at Wave 5), Franka is there to kill the one that spawns in this stage specifically.

Pompeii (Territorial Tendencies) - I didn't need to grab a counter for in case I met Pompeii since I already had Firewatch and a hand-powered Rosmontis, but if I didn't, it's always a good idea to grab an anti-Pompeii unit like Jaye.

Then once I got to Highmore it was a simple matter of knocking down Highmore with Gnosis' freeze, pulverizing Phase 1 with Rosmontis S3, knocking down Highmore again with Gnosis, then killing Phase 2 with Ines. If you're aiming for Last Knight or Ishar-mla, your team needs will be different of course!

So! I hope that helped you understand how to think about approaching an IS3 run, but in case none of that made any sense and I wasted 3 hours writing this, here's a TL;DR

What do I generally need?

Floor 1

Ground units because you need to block

DPS to counter Symbiosis specifically

Heals

Floors 2-3

Strong Anti-air (IS3 has a lot of flying enemies)

One fast redeploy like Agent Vanguards or Executor Specialists (effective in a vast majority of stages in IS3)

At least one source of Stun/Bind/Freeze that can hit aerial units (to deal with UFOs and Highmore that need to be knocked down, Nethersea Predators so they stop fucking dodging)

You may realize that Texas the Omertosa has all 3 of these qualities. This is why she's considered an automatic ban in all IS3 tournaments

Floors 4-5

Specific counters to the stages that kick your ass the most

Specific boss counters if necessary

Specific operator combos with your collectibles (for example Cutter + Any spinach type collectible)

#Arknights #long post

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wanderingmind13 · 1 year

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Invisible implies unable to be seen

The diagnoses I carry are labeled as such and maybe people can’t imagine, don’t want to imagine but it’s easy to dismiss something you claim is hidden from sight

what I experience is far from unseen

My disease reveals itself in the armor I don for battle each day, compression as a second skin, braces and tapes to hold together tissue and bone frail and bird like

It is visible in the hours spent in waiting rooms, the familiarity of cold, clinical sterility associated with pain

My skin bears the burden of illness, marked with bruises and scarring delicate as aging paper

Punctured daily with medicine intended to heal glass bones but simultaneously eroding my spirit

At times flushing on my face akin to a butterfly’s resting place, red hot wings branded onto flesh

This malady is seen in the repeated fractures and tears, limping and adjusting to find relief

It is identified in my need to sit, the sweat that blossoms when I must stand, the blood pooling in extremities, swelled and discolored

Mostly it is evident in the absence of me, the late night gatherings that happen as I rest, physical activities exceeding what I can give

The pain and exhaustion dragging me back to a point of isolation, one from which I’d escape if I could

The manifestations are intricate but revealed with empathy and the mindful gathering of information

To call my conditions invisible negates the palpable evidence of affliction

Minimizes my experience

And exacerbates my pain

#invisible illness #pots #ehlers danlos #ehlers danlos syndrome #osteoporosis #celiac disease #lupus #systemic lupus erythematosus #spoonie #chronic illness #chronic pain #invisible disability #writing #my writing #poem #moleskine

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lisaalmeida · 6 months

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Ils portent une blessure invisible, qu'ils ne peuvent oublier car c'est cela que le corps cicatrise le moins bien, les maladies qui n'ont pas de nom. Elles se taisent et n'osent rien avouer.

- Yves Simon, La Dérive des sentiments

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 22 days

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Your URL is factually incorrect, but if it was, you realize tumblr is the “mentally ill people are still human and aren’t exempt from kindness” website, right?

It's telling that you seem to think that "kindness" is synonymous with lying to people. That I should be silent and not point out how obviously false religions are. Like, obviously.

A god who is both good and inscrutable is self-refuting. A god who knows all and grants free will is self-refuting. A god who is both perfect and needs worship is self-refuting. Such gods not just don't exist, but cannot exist, by definition.

I don't need to facilitate or endorse people's delusions. Any first-year psych course would teach you that affirming people's mental disturbances, that they're true and correct and right for them to believe, is absolute the worst thing of all.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/

According to the most-basic tenets of psychology, the very idea of helping people with anxiety disorders avoid the things they fear is misguided. A person who is trapped in an elevator during a power outage may panic and think she is going to die. That frightening experience can change neural connections in her amygdala, leading to an elevator phobia. If you want this woman to retain her fear for life, you should help her avoid elevators. But if you want to help her return to normalcy, you should take your cues from Ivan Pavlov and guide her through a process known as exposure therapy. You might start by asking the woman to merely look at an elevator from a distance—standing in a building lobby, perhaps—until her apprehension begins to subside. If nothing bad happens while she’s standing in the lobby—if the fear is not “reinforced”—then she will begin to learn a new association: elevators are not dangerous. (This reduction in fear during exposure is called habituation.) Then, on subsequent days, you might ask her to get closer, and on later days to push the call button, and eventually to step in and go up one floor. This is how the amygdala can get rewired again to associate a previously feared situation with safety or normalcy.

You don't tell someone with paranoia that yes, the neighbor's cat really is listening in and reporting to the government how many times a day you open your fridge.

You don't tell someone who believes an invisible man follows them around awarding gold stars ⭐️ and flames 🔥 for every good and bad thing you do, that yes, that man really does exist. Even if that man lives up in the sky and has a 1700 year old book of magic and myth written about him, that changes nothing.

It's not kindness to protect people from figuring out they made a mistake; that's the emotional equivalent of foot-binding - you're protecting them from growing.

It's not kindness to help people live in a false reality, one that doesn't function the way they think it does. And it doesn't help the rest of us to be surrounded by people who don't understand how the world works.

I'm the person who will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. A person who does the latter is called a sycophant. And they probably want something from you. Someone who wants you to believe something that's false has their own agenda. That's basically the definition of a scammer.

The idea that we have to be "kind" rather than truthful belongs in the trash.

If your priority is to be "kind," then you're not being truthful. I do not suffer from that malady.

#ask #comforting lies #unpleasant truths #painful truths #tell the truth #be kind #the be kind people #lying for comfort #dishonest people #religion #religion is a mental illness

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robertjw4688 · 5 months

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My brain is a

blade sharpening

on my newborn soul.

I'm choking on

self-care rituals yet

still trying to

swallow the

pollution of

years spent

in the shadow of

invisible landmarks.

These maladies

are burning my old

poems for warmth.

I pray it helps.

Robert J. W. (11-13-23)

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compulsion-dexpression · 5 months

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Modérations numéro 17

Traduction: pendant ma formation, un docteur a dit Juste parce que vos patients sont résilient ça ne veut pas dire qu’ils ne souffrent pas. Ce concept de co existence m’a reveillé. Le concept de résilience vient souvent du fait que c’est nécessaire pour survivre et ça ne veut pas dire que quelqu’un est correct… La personne que tu connais qui vit avec une maladie, un trouble chronique , que ce…

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#amis #Communauté #famille #gratitude #Introspection #maladie invisible #maladies chroniques #maladies invisibles #migraine #perceptions #Réflexion

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harriet-de-g · 4 months

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Ressources autour de la gestion de la douleur.

Cette Bibliographie est issue du zine "Toujours mal quelques part" sortie en janvier 2024. Les catégories reprennent les différents chapitres de celui-ci. La liste est régulièrement mise à jour et complétée. N'hésitez pas à partager vos propres ressources pour la faire évoluer!

C’est quoi la douleur ?

L’Institut national de la santé et de la recherche médicale a un dossier qui reprend des informations générales sur la douleur.

La douleur, quelle chose étrange, Steve Hains & Sophie Standing, livre, 32p.

La douleur chronique perturbe l’équilibre cérébral, Rev Med Suisse, 2008/145 (Vol.-6), p. 493a–493a.

Lien entre douleur et trauma

Le Trauma, quelle chose étrange, Steve Haines & Sophie Standing, livre, 32p.

Le corps n’oublie rien. Bessen Van Der Kolk. Il existe une version résumée en zine nommé « Ressources sur le traumatisme » (Morgan.e).

Comment les traumatismes d’enfance impacte la santé tout au long de l’existence (« How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime ») Nadine Burke Harris.

Qu’est ce que le trauma? L’auteur de le corps n’oublie rien explique («What is trauma? The author of “The Body Keeps the Score” explains,) Bessel van der Kolk.

Childhood exposure to violence and lifelong health: clinical intervention science and stress-biology research join forces. Moffitt, T. E., & Klaus-Grawe 2012 Think Tank (2013). Development and psychopathology, 25(4 Pt 2), 1619–1634.

Mécanismes d’adaptation

Pain-determined Dissociation Episodes, David A. Fishbain, R. B. Cutler, H. L. Rosomoff, R. Steele Rosomoff, Pain Medicine, Volume 2, Issue 3, September 2001, Pages 216–224.

Trop à l’aise avec nos diagnostics, zinzinzine,

Et toi, tu fais quoi dans la vie ?, Harriet de G, brochure, 4p.

Quand tout va bien

Une introduction en français à la technique du pacing.

Laziness Does does not exist, Devon Price, livre, 256p.

La culture du Valide Occidental, Zig Blanquer,

Les thérapies alternatives

A claire voie : manuel de savoir être fou en société, zine, 91p. Comporte un chapitre spécifique pour les premiers entrevus avec un·e thérapeute (dans un cadre psychiatrique).

Pour les proches

La théorie des cuillères, article wikipédia.

The spoon theory (La théorie des cuillères), Christine Miserandino, essai.

Soutien mutuel : les bases

Paillettes Toxiques et Sérum Phy : des pistes pour repérer des dynamiques de pouvoir dans nos relations (pas cis hétéro), zine, 275p.

Point drogue

Une carte interactive pour savoir où tester ses produits

Relation entre tabagisme et douleur : revue narrative de la littérature scientifique, D. Balayssac, Revue des Maladies Respiratoires, Volume 38, Issue 3, 2021, Pages 269-277.

Se faire mal : comment prendre soin de toi lorsque tu ressens le besoin de te blesser, Icarus Projets, zine, 56p.

Alternatives à l’auto-mutilation, Traduction de Choose recovery par Dandelion Guide pour décrocher des médicaments psychotropes en réduisant les effets nocifs, zine, Icarus project, 70p. Tumer Fue : Une méthode libre pour en finir avec la clope, Robin, zine, 80p.

Pendant la tempête

Le manuel de sevrage des psychotropes, livre, Soutien Benzo, 196p.

Aider ses ami.e.x.s qui ont parfois envie de mourir à ne peut-être pas mourir, traduction par ezekiel and the weirdos, zine, 33p.

Le mouvement death positiv tente de réduire les tabous autour de la mort et d’explorer les façons de préparer sa fin de vie sereinement.

Living with depression, Kat Amarië, vidéo (traduite).

Dépression comment te quitter, Luks, zine, 20p.

En vrac :

Chroniques des chroniques : une émission autour des maladies chroniques (douloureuses), radio rageuse.

La souffrance: que ressent-on quand quelqu’un nie notre douleur ?, podcast Emotion.

The Cancer Journals (Journal du cancer), Audre Lorde, livre, 96p. Fragments, Fatou S, livre, 150p.

Guide de navigation en eau trouble : se fabriquer des ressources quand on vit une crise ou un moment pas cool, zine, 40p.

Les ateliers groupe soin, volume 1, 2 et 3, zines, groupe soin. Du partage de savoir et vulgarisation de concepts médicaux issus de rencontre en groupe pour s’autonomiser.

My Body Is a Prison of Pain so I Want to Leave It Like a Mystic But I Also Love It & Want it to Matter Politically, Johanna Hedva, vidéo et transcript.

Hollow, Mia Mingus, Traduction d'Emma Bigé et Harriet de g, zine. De la science fiction avec des handi·es autonomes.

#zine making #zine promo #criptheory #chronic pain #chronic illness #pain management #invisible illness #invisible disability #maladie #handicap

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feyre-darling92 · 2 years

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An unexpected meeting

Obi-Wan Kenobi x reader

T/W: none, bad writing, let me know if I missed anything

Word Count: 1,5k

A/N: If everything goes according to plan, I will make this a series. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts and read your comments. Likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

Part 2

It was a secret mission. That you’ve been told. That’s what you needed to be told. Either way, secret missions were your specialty.

You were currently walking through the hallways of the Jedi temple, the Jedi Council waiting for you to announce your new assignment. And your new partner.

That’s what you hated in this mission. You were used to solo missions and honestly, you could handle it better alone. If you’d learned anything that was to trust no one but yourself.

You took a deep breath, standing alone in front of the door. It had been a while since you had been presented in front of the Jedi Council. But you had no reason to be worried, you were the best in this area.

You sighed and opened the door.

--------

It went as you’d imagined. They assigned you a mission, help protect and find out who wanted to murder senator Amidala. You would meet your partner in the senator’s quarters.

To be honest, you were curious about who would they be. You knew Padme for a couple of years and you had begun to form a friendship.

Although you tried not to form personal attachments you quite enjoyed her company as you’d never had a friend.

You headed towards the quarters, stopping first to enjoy the sunset.

--------

You entered Padme’s quarters when you saw two figures sitting on a couch, obviously waiting for you.

They both stood up and bowed and so did you.

“Nice to meet you, Master Y/L. I am Anakin. Skywalker” the younger one, the padawan said.

You nodded in a greeting and turned to face his Master. Only to find out a very familiar to you face.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi” you grinned at your old... friend? Rival? your relationship was never clear.

Not that you were willing to make it clear.

“Y/N Y/L” he rather stated than questioned. “What are you doing here?”

“The right question is what are you doing here?”

“I asked first”

“Maker, still the same after all these years. Since our paths parted I became a Master and later a spy for the Jedi Council. Your turn”

“After Qui-Gon’s death, I took Anakin as my padawan”

“Yeah, I heard it after his funeral. Congratulations, by the way”

“Thank you. When did you pass the trials? I don’t remember”

“Wait you know each other?” Anakin interrupted you and Obi-Wan gave him a warning look.

You smiled and looked at Obi-Wan. “We met as padawans. We practically grew up together. Until we chose different paths after our Master’s death”

“Master Qui-Gon was your Master too?”

“He played a major role in my education and he gave me guidance when I most needed it. So, yes, I consider him as my Master”

“And you two are friends?”

“Anakin! Forgive my padawan’s behavior. He’s a little impulsive”

“It’s fine Master Kenobi. But would you like to answer the question your padawan asked?” you tried to suppress your smile. You tortured him and you liked it.

He gave you the same look he gave you ten years before when you teased him.

“I and Y/N are...” he made a small pause and gave you a look, “We are...”

“Y/N!” Padme called you from behind. “Padme saved you” you whispered with a grin in his ear as you passed past him to greet your friend.

“Padme! How are you?” you hugged her.

“I am fine. Especially now that I’ll have you by my side” she smiled in a way only she did, heartwarmingly. “I guess you’ve already met Master Kenobi and Anakin”

“I have indeed”

“Master and Y/N are friends,” Anakin said looking at Obi-Wan with a mischievous grin.

You hoped he tortured him as you did back in the days.

“Not friends exactly-” Obi-wan tried to explain but you corrected him.

“Acquaintances”

“Yes, exactly”

“Oh” Padme seemed not to believe you “That’s nice”

“Our presence here will be invisible malady, I can assure you,” Obi-Wan said as we followed Padme and sat on the couch.

“I am Captain Typho” the man behind you introduced himself. “I am grateful you’re here Master Kenobi and Miss L/N. The situation is more dangerous than the senator would like to admit”

“I don’t need more security, I need answers. I want to know who is trying to kill me” Padme said.

“We are here to protect you, senator, not to start an investigation” Obi-Wan stated.

“Actually, I am here to find out who is trying to kill you. As well to protect you” you gave her a reassuring smile.

“I will help too” Anakin exclaimed.

“Anakin, we will do exactly as the council has instructed. And you will learn your place, young one”

“I am sure that both you and Y/N will find out who the killer is” she tried to break the ice on the atmosphere. “If you excuse me” she stood up “I will retire”

After the senator left Obi-wan and captain Typho left too but not before giving you orders, “You and Anakin, stay here”

“I am sorry Kenobi but I won’t take orders from you. But either way, I would stay in case something happened”

“Noted, dear” he left you two behind, and when the door closed you released a tension you didn’t know existed in the first place.

You only knew that the cause was this unexpecting meeting, something strange because you never had a close relationship with Obi-Wan. Or did you have?

“So, Y/N, you know my master?” Anakin out you out of your thoughts.

“Yes, I was unfortunate” you joked and you both laughed. “How’s he, really?”

Damn, why did you have to ask this? You didn’t care. Even if you wanted you couldn’t. So why show any interest?

“Oh, I suppose he is as you left him” he smiled and gave you a look you couldn’t quite understand. “Did you and my Master had a good relationship?”

You were caught off guard by this question.

“No, we were something like ... rivals”

“Oh, ok,” he said suspiciously and changed the subject of your conversation.

Some time had passed talking about your time as a padawan and other things and honestly, you had started to like him.

“Captain Typho has more than enough men downstairs. Any activity up here?” Obi-Wan entered the room.

“Quiet as a tomb” you replied bored.

“What’s going on?” he asked looking at a holopad.

“She closed the cameras,” Anakin said.

“What was she thinking?”

“She programmed R2 to warn us if there’s an intruder” you explained to him.

“There’s more than one way to kill a senator” Obi-Wan muttered.

“She is safe, Obi-Wan. I can sense everything that happens in there” you assured him in a quite annoyed tone. “Don’t you trust me?” you raised your eyebrows.

“It’s not that it’s that-”

“Of course, you don’t. Why am I surprised?”

“I didn’t say that, I said that it was dangerous!” he exclaimed.

“Oh, so you trust me?” you walked towards him and stopped only when you were a couple of feet away.

“Do you trust me, dear?”

“I’ve learned to trust no one but myself”

“Then why should I trust you?”

“Because trust goes both ways!”

“Um, Masters can you-” Anakin tried to stop the fight but failed.

“Not now Anakin,” you and Obi-Wan said in union.

“If we don’t trust each other there’s no point in being here!”

“I am not here for you, Kenobi, I am here for senator Amidala. That’s why you’re here too. So you better do your job and let the trust for another case”

With that, you parted each sitting n the opposite side of the room.

Obi-Wan was discussing silently with Anakin and you were watching the view from the window when you sensed something was wrong.

You turned to Obi-wan and he gave you a nodd.

“I sensed it too”

You stormed into Padme’s room and Anakin killed two of some warm-looking creatures.

Whoever had thought it was smart enough. But you were smarter.

Padme woke up looking at you with a terrified expression when you and Obi-Wan saw a droid outside the window.

He ran to it and jumped breaking the window and chasing it.

“Obi-Wan, wait!” you shouted and ran behind him.

You looked outside the broken window trying to locate him when you saw him not too far away.

“You’ll be the death of me” you muttered angrily taking a small box from your belt, a mini jetpack, and you felt grateful for the first time you had exchanged your blaster to take it.

You sighed and jumped.

#star wars x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan x reader #obi wan imagine #obi wan x you #my fic #my writing #my story #fanfic #feyre darling92 #feyre-darling92

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serpent-of-hope · 1 year

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A Defense of Frodo - The Curse of Invisible Illnesses

SPOILER WARNING: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Two Towers, and Return of the King books and extended edition films.

Fandoms can be divisive communities, but the one thing every LOTR fan will near universally agree on is the Samwise Gamgee is heroic. When it comes to Frodo Baggins, however, modern opinions can get a little mixed. So today, I want to offer a defense of Frodo, if you will. Or perhaps more accurately, I want to offer a possible reading of the characterization of Frodo, and of the one ring, from the perspective of lived experience with PTS, mental illness, and other invisible, chronic conditions.

First and foremost, I want to acknowledge that, as I understand it, the characters of Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee were informed by Tolkein's own experiences fighting in the First World War. Tolkien ranked highly within the military as a direct result of noble standing in Britain, despite the fact that, by his own admission, many of his less-wealthy compatriots were equally or more competent or qualified than he was. Tolkien wanted to portray this dynamic in the relationship between Samwise, the gardener, and Frodo, who is given the title of Ring Bearer because of his family ties.

I also want to start by noting that I firmly do not believe that Tolkien intended to use the ring as an allegory for mental health. It is quite clear that the ring represents power and its ability to corrupt those who wield it. No one desires a mental illness, nor would most consider such a malady precious to them, nor would anyone kill to gain a mental illness. Instead, I am comparing what it means to be a ring bearer to carrying a burden no one else can see or feel, but that you struggle with and feel incapacitated by nonetheless.

I would also like to preface that the parallels I will draw here are based solely on my own experiences with chronic depression. I do not presume to speak for all people struggling with mental illness as everyone experiences symptoms differently. I also know that many other invisible illnesses follow the same trends.

Specifically, for our conversation today, I want to focus on the themes of darkness, weight, and numbness. For me, depression manifests as something physically weighing me down, too heavy for me to lift. So, when it comes time for me to complete simple, vital tasks - basic hygiene, getting, water or food, change clothes, or even the herculean task of leaving the house, I can't. Because the world itself is too heavy, and I'm not strong enough to lift it off me, and begin to feel drained quickly when I do. This weight, for me, is coupled with a sense of numbness. Whatever the world is asking of me - emails, my job, replying to my friends, brushing my hair - it is too much, and I stop feeling able to care if it gets done or if there are consequences. In counterpart to this numbness comes the side effect of rumination. Brains that aren't healthy like to dwell and circle around problems of their own creation. Often this means wallowing in feelings of shame and guilt, though it can sometimes manifest as resentment to the world and to others. What is comfortable, and brings relief, is darkness and the ability to lie down and succumb to it. To pull the shutters tight against the sun and the outside world, to stay in bed, and to try and sleep to escape the refrain of "you are bad, the world is bad, everything is bad." Then, of course, there is the sadness, the trademark of depression. Less sadness, per se, but the feeling that you will never be happy again, that everything is lost and hopeless. That you'd be better to give up.

We know that Frodo struggles with feelings of grief and pain from the Morgul wound he sustains on Weathertop, as well as from the stress of the journey and the loss of members of the Fellowship. These feelings all compound Frodo's struggles with the Ring.

Tolkein frequently refers to the ring and Frodo's responsibility as Ring Bearer as a "burden." It is called a burden at multiple points by multiple characters, usually when Frodo wishes the ring was not something he had to bear or when other characters are pitying his responsibility. This wording is deliberate. The other characters do not and cannot understand what Frodo is going through, but they know it is something terrible that they would never wish to experience. They know that it means Frodo needs help and extra care. Mental, invisible, and chronic illness can also readily be described as a burden. One that no one else can take, that they may not understand, but that they want to help and support nonetheless.

In the films, because we are not privy to the inner struggles of Frodo's mind, this burden is communicated to us through one key image: weight. In Peter Jackson's take on Fellowship of the Ring, we see the ring given a physicality to its presence. When Bilbo finally has the courage to let go of the ring and leave it with Gandalf, he drops it to the ground. The ring doesn't bounce or tink when it falls; it lands flat with a heavy thud. When Frodo wears it around his neck, we see the angry, raw marks where the ring has been pulling him down and chafing at him. In trying to give a physical form to an invisible burden, the creators gave it weight, something that is common in my, and many others’ experience of Depression.

The ring plagues Frodo. He cannot sleep. He cannot eat. He becomes despondent. When Frodo gazes into the Mirror of Galadriel, we learn that he has been ruminating. He sees in his mind's eye his failure, the burning of the Shire, the destruction of Middle Earth, and the Death of his friends. He is spiralling around negative thoughts that convince him of his failure. These are all symptoms of Depression, and it takes a great deal of strength and energy to keep going when you are fighting your own mind and your own conviction of failure.

Please consider this quote from The Return of the King:

“No taste of food, no feel of water, no sound of wind, no memory of tree or grass or flower, no image of moon or star are left to me. I am naked in the dark, Sam, and there is no veil between me and the wheel of fire. I begin to see it even with my waking eyes, and all else fades.”

―J.R.R. Tolkien,The Return of the King

A common side effect of mental, invisible, and chronic illnesses is that once you live with them for long enough, they become comfortable, and it becomes difficult to remember what life was like before. For my experience with Depression, at the very worst of it was a sense of hopelessness that made it impossible to remember what it was like to be happy, what it felt like to do the things you love, or even what the things you love are anymore. This feeling is reflected exactly in Frodo's sentiment of being naked in the dark while all else fades.

In response to this burden, Frodo resolves to break from the Fellowship. He wants to protect them from what is to come and himself from the harm they may do him. This, too, is a common experience of mental illness. Self-isolation is the desire to lock down and stop connecting with people. It happens for many reasons, but the main ones are a desire for self-protection from the emotional harm others may do us or to protect others from seeing our own rapid decline, believing that pushing them away will keep them safer and happier in the long run. But like many who have had these experiences, Frodo learns that he cannot do this alone. He needs help.

This is where Samwise comes in. Soft, supportive Samwise Gamgee. Samwise is aware that Frodo needs support to make it to Mordor, but I firmly believe that Samwise alone could not have carried the ring any better than Frodo could. The task of fighting an invisible and unrelenting force in one's own mind is utterly different than fighting Orcs or Men or Gollum. One just looks more heroic because it is more obvious and more cinematic.

Let's look at one of Samwise Gamgee's most heroic moments - the moment he lifts Frodo and carries him up the side of Mount Doom. In my life, my loved ones have on numerous occasions expressed that they wished there was something they could do or say that would make it better. That there was a magic ShamWow that could suck the sadness away. But there isn't. When we see Samwise scoop up Frodo in this scene it is easy to scoff at Frodo, to say, “How weak is he! He can't even climb a mountain, but this guy can do it while carrying him and the ring!”

But understand this: the weight of the ring is known only to the bearer, and to the bearer, it is insurmountable. The strength of Sam to physically lift his friend, while heroic in every right, is incomparable to the strength required to carry an inner burden, whether that be the weight of mental and invisible illness or the weight of the evil power of a dark lord.

There is one last quote I would like to draw your attention to:

“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand...there is no going back. There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.”

―JRR Tolkien

As with any chronic, mental, or invisible illness, there is an after. There is a point where the worst of the burden has subsided, and you can begin to find a semblance of normalcy again. But that after is not a return to the normal of before. It is a period where the old version of your self-identity has died, and you are left to cobble together a new existence, one that is not the same, but still good, and forever touched by this pain and grief. This is something we see clearly in Frodo's story. He doesn't get to return to the Shire and resume his own life. He returns changed with new outlooks, new understanding, and new pain. He gets a happy ending, but not the one he would have wanted for himself at the outset of the story.

It is easy to proclaim that Frodo is weak. Compared to our other heroes, he constantly needs help, he has a negligible kill count, and in the end, it is only through intervention that he accomplishes his task. But Frodo is nevertheless strong and brave. It is just that his struggles are neither cinematic nor the kind we have come to expect from our heroes. His fight is quiet and invisible.

So when we take this understanding and empathy and reflect on our day to day world, I want to call attention to those carrying the burden of mental, invisible, and chronic illness. Their stories never end with tossing their illness into a volcano and then saving the world. In fact, they are largely ignored and forgotten. But, as Tolkien has written, "deeds will not be less valuable because they are unpraised." These are courageous and heroic stories. It takes strength to go on every day while fighting an invisible evil force. Somedays, we don't win. But the strength and courage to try and keep trying is worth celebrating.

#lotr #the lord of the rings #lotr fandom #frodo #frodo baggins #samwise the brave #samwise gamgee #samwise #the fellowship of the ring #the two towers #the return of the king #mental illness #depression #chronic illness #invisible illness #lord of the rings

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mariepascaleremy · 4 days

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9 AVRIL JOURNÉE MONDIALE DE LA LICORNE

La fascination pour cet animal mythique, issu d'un univers invisible, n'est pas nouvelle. Mais que notre société matérialiste et athée lui consacre une journée mondiale est surprenant. Peut-on y voir un désir de merveilleux, de magie, voire une aspiration au spirituel ? Pline l'Ancien, dans son "Histoire naturelle", décrit la licorne arborant une unique corne noire de deux coudées de long au milieu du front, insistant sur le fait qu'elle ne pouvait être capturée vivante. Des figures telles qu'Hérodote, Élien et Aristote ont également mentionné cet animal, sans oublier l'historien grec Ctésias (Ve-IVe siècle av. J.-C.) qui, dans ses écrits sur l'Inde, évoquait l'existence d'un animal sauvage semblable à un cheval, avec une corne frontale aux propriétés thérapeutiques remarquables, affirmant que boire dans cette corne garantissait une immunité contre les maladies et les poisons, un concept repris dans l'univers de "Harry Potter" où Voldemort consomme du sang de licorne pour survivre. La licorne, convoité pour ses vertus médicinales légendaires, ne pouvant être approchée que par une vierge ; les chasseurs laissent une jeune fille vierge seule au milieu d'une clairière, se cachent non loin et, quand l'animal découvre la jeune fille, s'approche d'elle, pose sa tête sur son giron et s'endort, ils se précipitent sur lui pour s'en saisir. Certains voient dans cette scène de chasse à la licorne une allusion à l'arrestation de Jésus-Christ et à sa Passion. La licorne est pour la religion chrétienne un symbole de pureté et de chasteté, sa corne unique, symbole de puissance représenterait l'incarnation du Verbe de Dieu dans le sein de la Vierge. Aujourd'hui la licorne représente l'extraordinaire et l'exclusivité ; depuis les années 1970 elle est aussi emblématique du mouvement LGBT pour son association avec l'arc-en-ciel, symbole de diversité repris par le drapeau LGBT. Par extension, le terme "licorne" désigne maintenant des entreprises de la Silicon Valley valant plus d'un milliard de dollars, des sportifs aux talents uniques ou des journalistes polyvalents. Peut être que cette appellation souligne la capacité à embrasser le fantastique, à suspendre notre incrédulité et à rechercher au-delà des preuves tangibles, symbolisant ainsi un refuge rassurant, un regret de l'innocence perdue et une aspiration vers un imaginaire éthéré et insaisissable. Quoiqu'il en soit emportons la licorne cette nuit dans notre coeur et nos pensées... nos rêves n'en seront que plus lumineux et guérisseurs. Image : La tapisserie de la Dame à la licorne au musée de CLuny

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dare-g · 1 year

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@sleepythug recently tagged me to make a list of my favorite new-to-me films i watched in 2022! (Thank you btw!!)

I know this was supposed to be more of a chill meme game but I took it as a chance to make a serious list and after some thinking I think this list pretty much includes a good range of stuff I was especially moved by/ interested in/ or entertained by through the year!

also I know 27 films is kinda a lot but considering out of the 815 films I watched 777 of them were first time watches this is only 3% lol

an additional note is that if I got hooked on a director I only put one film of theirs on this list.. if i hadn't made that rule the list would've looked a lot different tbh ...however that would've made it have less variety so I thought it was better do it that way and if you watch one and like it you can always look up more of their work ...

anyway ima tag a bunch of you id love to see them but no pressure to do it or to list as many films ! @jimphelps @phibes @everyones-into-weirdness @door6 @nononookytv @alicesweetalice54 @arpicot @skatalite @donnerpartyofone and @elliecreed (i know you just did a similar thing and ill see if i can be decisive enough to do something similar for that sometime soon )

also putting the titles under a cut in case theyre needed

Perfumed Nightmare (1977), The Ornithologist (2016), The Decay of Fiction (2002), Balangiga: Howling Wilderness (2017), Invisible Adversaries (1977), London Orbital (2002), The Scenic Route (1978), 2+2=22 [The Alphabet] (2017), Solaris (1972), The Winter There Was Very Little Snow (1982), Skinned Deep (2004), Chan Is Missing (1982), Ticket of No Return (1979), Film About a Woman Who... (1974), Female Trouble (1974), Time Indefinite (1993), The Crazy Family (1984), Tropical Malady (2004), Invasion of the Blood Farmers (1972), Studies for the Decay of the West (2010), A Walk Through H: The Reincarnation of an Ornithologist (1979), New York Ninja (2021), *Corpus Callosum (2022), Reveries (2018), Nothing (1999), Virtual Love (1993), The New Modernists: Folds Blobs + Boxes, Architecture in the Digital Era (2001)

#anyway enjoy seeing all my brain worms #i do appricate the tag it was interesting to think about #also yes it took till 2022 for me to watch solaris and female trouble which may surprise people #these arent in an order btw but the stuff on the top half would probably stay on the list even if i repeated directors #the bottom half some of them would and not to be no fun but the comedy ones more likely cause im just more incled twards stuff that moves m #also i wanted to choose an architecture doc but i couldnt bring myself to choose one of the single architect ones #just cause its hard although those are more pollished but folds blobs boxs introduced me to some fun stuff and is aesthetic #anyway fun year feel free to chat with me about whatever or suggest me things #talks

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