#male fart fiction

[gatzilksis-2]

Brother of the Best Friend

Part One: Release

This story is mostly fictional with a few real elements. Includes adult content. 18+

I followed my best friend Jesse into his mom's house. Jesse wasn't attractive to me at all, small and skinny. I was skinny, too, but I was taller. Jesse was only eighteen, but I was twenty-one. We'd become friends at a job two years before, and we'd spent most of our time together since.

"Mom! We're here!" Jesse yelled to the kitchen at the back.

His mom Sherry came walking to the front, looking frazzled with a red face. "You're late, Jesse. I wanted more time to talk about this. Hi, Danny."

"Hi," I said, wondering what she was talking about.

Jesse was just as confused. "Talk about what?"

Sherry cocked her head towards the dining room. We all took our usual chairs at the round table, leaving one empty, an ugly plaid cushion tied to the wooden seat.

"Your brother will be here in a few minutes," Sherry blurted.

"Marty?" Jesse looked worried, then smiled. "He got out? Good for him."

"You're not mad he's back?" Sherry asked.

Jesse shook his head. "We was away for four years, Mom. Whatever issues I had are gone, and he probably had bigger things to worry about. Like dropping the soap."

I glanced at him. I was openly gay, but his jokes never bothered me. Sherry didn't know my orientation.

"Don't say any jokes like that when he's here!" Sherry pointed a stern finger at Jesse.

"What'd he do again?" I asked.

"Fighting people." Jesse rolled his eyes. "He always had to show people how manly he is."

I fought not to blush. The pictures of Marty in the house were all of him as a kid. I had no idea what he would look like now, but I had a sort of obsession with proud, manly men. I hoped he was ugly, so I wouldn't have to deal with any awkwardness.

The front door knob turned, then someone began to knock. Sherry headed for the door with a smile. "That's him! Come greet your brother."

Jesse sighed, but we followed her to the living room. Sherry opened the door, and I almost gasped.

Marty was not ugly, not by any means. He was blond with neat stubble, big light blue eyes, and a bulky body between fat and muscle. He was covered in tattoos, his buttoned shirt was tight, and his shoes were big.

Marty tackled Sherry into a hug, and she cried over his shoulder. "Welcome home, baby."

The son parted from his mom and slowly approached Jesse. "Jess...you look good."

"You look..." Jesse looked him up and down. "...big."

"Well, when you can't get drugs or walk around, you get this." Marty patted his belly.

"You have boobs." Jesse pushed up one of Marty's pectorals. He let it fall and bounce, and I tried not to watch it.

I realized my mouth was hanging open and shut it, just as Marty turned his clear blue irises on me. "Who's this, your boyfriend?"

He donned a cheeky grin. Jesse grabbed the same breast and twisted. "My best friend Danny."

"Ow!" Marty grabbed his chest when Jesse released him. He gave a little laugh. "Still an ass then, Jess?"

Jesse flipped him off.

Marty turned to me again, holding out a big, tattooed hand. "Sorry. I'm Marty. Nice to meet you."

I shook his hand, finding it smooth and warm.

Marty let go and leaned back to release an extremely loud, deep burp. He grabbed Jesse and blew the belch at his face. Jesse hit him and backed away, sitting on the couch. I sat beside him.

"I'm going to finish dinner." Sherry moved her pointer finger from Jesse to Marty. "Be good."

"Yes, ma'am." Marty sat in Sherry's reading chair in the corner.

I realized I hadn't even checked out his ass. I shouldn't have wanted to. He was my best friend's brother, and he was no doubt completely straight.

That didn't stop me from staring.

"What's been going on, Jess?" Marty asked his brother, who was stuck in the TV.

"Just hanging out with Danny." Jesse shrugged. "Going to community college in the fall. Fast food manager work is good. How was prison?"

Marty didn't answer, just stared with a sinister sort of smile. He readjusted his position in the chair and settled.

A second later, I was attacked by a toxic air assault, a silent fart of epic magnitude. Flatulence was the ultimate manly act, and I appreciated it much more than most people. Of course, I had limits. I didn't intend to sniff anyone's ass directly or have anyone sit on my face. There was such a thing as too many farts, but just the right amount of them could drive me wild.

This one fart was amazing, almost strong enough to taste. I loved when a man could make something so intense.

"God!" Jesse shouted at Marty. "I was waiting for that! How long did it take?"

"I don't know." Marty shrugged, closed his eyes, and put his head back. He took in a slow, deep sniff and smirked. "Ah! Nice. Did you miss it, Jess?"

"Hell no." Jesse got up from the couch, stepping towards the kitchen. "Mom, Marty's farty!"

Marty laughed under his breath. "That was my nickname in school, you know. 'Farty'. Guess that's what I get for having a rhyming name."

I'd stayed in my place, closest to him on this side of the couch. I had been slowly letting the fart in, pretending to hold interest in the show.

"You don't think that's bad?" Marty pushed on. He was intent on talking about it. I was too, but I didn't want him suspecting anything.

I glanced at him, just as he undid the top two buttons of his shirt, exposing his chest. I stiffened in my pants, glad to be sitting. "Yeah, but it's just a fart."

Marty leaned forward. PHWRRMPH! "Ah! Two farts. I had my driver get Taco Bell on the way." He sniffed the air again, giving a dramatic sigh after. "It's good to be free!"

His second fart smacked me, just as pungent as his first. I could almost smell the taco meat in it, all the food he must've consumed...

Why did he have to be my near perfect man?

"I bet," I responded simply, while my mind raced. If he wanted to talk about farts, that's what I would do. I never had a chance to talk about them with anyone else. Then again, it would only make me more horny, only make me want Marty more. "Your mom doesn't mind you farting like that? Jesse doesn't like it."

"I've always farted a lot, ever since I was little. Our dad did, too." Marty sniffed the air again. "Jess not tell you anything about me?"

"Just bad stuff." I shrugged. "Sorry."

"Whatever." Marty shrugged back and stood. "Mom, when's the food done?"

"It's close!"

Marty walked back to the kitchen, and I finally looked at his ass. No surprise, it was a good one, a fat booty shoved into his jean shorts.

I looked over at the reading chair, then looked to the kitchen. No one was watching. If I was careful...

I slipped off the couch and moved to the armchair on my knees. Marty's ass had left an ovular impression in the seat. Before I could get caught, I lowered my nose to the cushion, sniffing the middle of the oval.

It was too strong, and I pulled back. The smell in the seat was like raw, spoiled stomach and an old grease drum. I went in for another sniff and coughed.

I pulled back again and looked behind me. Marty was approaching. I swore in my head and got up quick. "I was stretching."

I'd said it too quickly, lost my cool. Marty raised an eyebrow but laughed. "Okay. Dinner's done."

His fart was fully stuck in my nose, and staring at him at the same time returned my little friend to full hardness. "Be right there. I need to shit first."

"Okay." Marty chuckled and went back to the kitchen.

I got up and practically ran upstairs, before anyone could see the tent in my shorts.

To be continued...

#gatzilksis #farts #eproctophilia #fart kink #eprocto #flatulence #fart fiction #fart stories #male fart fiction #male fart stories

[gayfartslut]

This is gonna sound real specific but anyone know of any good star dew valley harvey farting/face farting or Weight gain Fan art or fanfic?(preferably m/m)

If you do or if you know of any good places I could commission one please dm me

#stardew fanart #stardew valley #stardew harvey #fart story #male farts #gayfart #weight gain fiction #chubby harvey

[olderthannetfic]

Am I the only hoe like thinking that saying dumb shit like "Women who suck at writing, write fanfics... blah blah blah" is the person projecting badly at their own inability to find good shit? Bro I'm getting the feeling that some people are legit surprised when trashy romance stories are trashy romance stories. Wow geez who'da fucking thought, yeah? WHO? Get the fuck outta here lol. AO3 and original fiction by women filled with trashy shit is the same as male written trash, trashy is trashy, what the fuck do you wanna hear? Everything is filled some some trashy shit. Everything has poorly researched shit. Everything has hyperboles, or weird characterisations. The site which literally let's you publish anything has trashy shit on it? WOW! I bet your deduction skills put Sherlock to shame. It's always writing, isn't it? No one goes around farting about the same shit on youtube, or art sites, there it's like accepted that some shit is trashy and some shit is good. Not some blanket statement with the vibe of "All of AO3 is trash". Most people get it, it's not realistic. It's there to boost some serotonin, not be a fucking lecture on the facts and realities of romance, and whatever the fuck else everyone keeps crying about. If you go digging for trash you'll find it. Fuck what a surprise!! Next thing that might surprise some of you folks: If you wipe your ass you might find shit! In your case that might also happen if you wipe your face though, with all the dumb shit you say.

--

I mean... it's a cringey dude in his 20s who hasn't unlearned anti bullshit about "fetishizing" yet. People like that aren't going to engage in a worthwhile discussion and thus lose access to my blog. Same old, same old.

I presume his real beef is that he can't find m/m that he feels caters to him.

[his-dark-materials-trilogy]

You don’t force Lyra into a gender stereotype, and she is not written from the male gaze position. What do you think about other heroines in young people’s fiction? (narrare) I’m glad that seems to be the case with Lyra. But I never thought that in order to make girls strong we have to make boys look weak. There was a sort of fad for silly, wimpy princes who had to be rescued by “feisty” princesses – I don’t care for that. Incidentally, have you ever looked up the etymology of the word “feisty”? It’s to do with farting. So I never use it myself. Lyra’s a bit of a scoundrel in some ways – she’s a shameless liar, she’s a barbarian, she’s a bit of a savage, and those things are not necessarily admirable. But she’s real. She’s based on no one in particular but I did teach a lot of little girls who were like Lyra. In every classroom in the country there are girls like Lyra. And in some classrooms there are boys in the same situation as Will Parry was in His Dark Materials. And there are boys like Malcolm in La Belle Sauvage. These are real children, they’re not divinely gifted or special.

-Philip Pullman, 2017

#philip pullman #lyra #lyra belacqua #lyra silvertongue #his dark materials #hdm #the golden compass #gender stereotypes #heroine #female protagonist #feisty #will parry #malcolm #la belle sauvage #the book of dust #writing #malcolm polstead #author #books

[eisforeidolon]

Good Omens anon again and MAJOR SPOILERS But yeah the angel and demon in that show kissed, it was real and amazing and angsty yet I saw spn (heller) blogs (they had suss blog names with like bees and stuff in the title) crapping all over the kiss scene and its so annoying they have to ruin and infiltrate another fandom and also blatantly lie because they would have killed to have just got what we did

Yeah, that's the underlying problem with hellers being hellers instead of just shippers. Their ship is a competition, a cause, and at the core of it all? An unhealthy myopic obsession. So not only can they not just enjoy their imaginations and fanfic? Not only do they take their own canon not validating them as a personal attack that must be based out of some evil conspiracy created to hurt them? But completely fucking unrelated canons only matter to them in the context of their ship.

They built themselves up insisting that D/C *specifically* had to happen for representation - it was the most important ship ever in the history of things, it would revolutionize fiction and the world! So another very fandom-popular show featuring a ship with two male-shaped characters getting an angsty kiss heading into a potential third season - while their ship went out like a wet fart in a spacesuit in SPN's final season? Enjoying and celebrating the GO kiss would be tantamount to admitting D/C isn't the super special, completely unique center of the universe that still has to happen (somehow). So of course they're engaging in yet another round of absurd sour grapes whining. Except it was a lot more funny when they were flailing around about incest-y vibes in the barn scene rather than shitting on other fans' squee in a completely different fandom.

#askboxery #anonymous #destihellers #and their weird obsession #they try to smear everywhere #good omens spoilers #mention of wincest

[thewitchqueenofharrenhal]

Bastardphobia discourse in this fandom is so INSANE lmao. Just saw this one Jon stan say bastards in Westeros were treated worse than people of color are treated in the United States. Lol. Just el oh el. These books were a mistake.

Honestly, I'm so glad that Jon being the living embodiment of wet fart in the last two seasons of GOT essentially decimated his fanbase so all he has are a handful of weirdo dudebros who still think they're stanning Aragorn and the shippers that just use him as a human dildo for their faves in their fics. Could not have happened to a better fanbase tbqh.

Wooooooooaaaaah. Yeah that’s taking it way too far. I didn’t see that post but I hope they just misspoke or something because wtf. (I am a bastard btw lol and in my culture it is in fact stigmatized and we can have that conversation without having to use it for fan wars or stating that a fictional character has had worse life experiences then many real people - especially when we acknowledge how disgustingly awful the United States is towards it’s brown and black population.)

I love book Jon Snow, you are right though he is unfortunately co opted by a lot of the fandom that just want to live out their male power fantasy. Idk how I feel about Kit Harrington trying to make his spin-off.

#Anon

[papirouge]

gamergaters redpill podcast bros have moved on from brie Larson to Rachel Ziegler I noticed. while they also are making 50 min long videos dissecting how fictional female characters are actually more evil than real life male criminals who have committed rape, murder and organized crime rings

They only acknowledge organized crimes to own up the left somehow. Remember how extra they've been about The Sound of Freedom? They were more obsessed about lEftiSts MediAs shitting on this movie than its message. Their literally campaigned the film as "the movie the left doesn't want you to see". 99% of the right ideological standpoint relies on opposing everything the left does or says. Not proposing actually alternatives. That's why conservatives are so bad at creating new concepts, news ideas, new slang (they have to hijack already existing one such as #blue/alllivesmatter, #mentoo, woke, etc). They hate on liberals but lowkey LOVE liberal creativity lol

Or Balenciaga. I'll never forgive conservatives for turning the fight against pedophilia as a left/ vs right thing. To them it's like all pedophiles were from the left and that only the left protected pedophiles.... But if a conservative man is accused of rape? it's the left woke witch hunt!! Hasn't Kevin Spacey recent got invited by Tucker Carlson....? 👀 Lmao let's get real : conservatives don't care about pedophilia, they can't about "LEFTISTS" pedophiles. They are a lost cause.

Those grown men in their 30s 40s 50s being deadass seething about a DOLL MOVIE has to be the best example of the Western decadence IDC

Those idiots being whining day and night about their own extinction when their own stupidity IS the reason why they go extinct. Can you imagine if instead of spending hours in their basement making podcast seething on imaginary women they would go outside meet real ones, try to fix their awful personality, etc. The government shouldn't forbid selling mics to male between the age of 10 and 60. Deadass.

It's no coincidence the lots of them are roman empire simps. They follow the same self destructive moral & intellectual decadence. Very ironic to see them get so mad at gays and call them all pedophiles - those "LGBT groomers" are very close to the trv roman empire lifestyle & its institutional pedophilia. They should actually look up to them for that lmao

And they constantly be moaning about how people don't make babies anymore but how do they expect breeding when they endorse the most repulsive behavior that could exist in a man. Seeing a man whining about a little girls movie turns my eggs dry TBH and I know I'm not the one. Them being old fat and unattractive doesn't help too - but they for sure think they have room nitpicking the attractiveness of women half their age... If we could make energy out of delusion conservative men would be soooo useful....

That's why my theory is that the push for redpill/Andrew Tate content is a psy-op warfare against young men to make them self sabotaging themselves because those old farts cannot deal with them having better chance at dating young women. "If they can't have them, no one will". It's crazy how no one ever point out how those redpill dating coaches are all single. Do I need to remind them the fate of Kevin Samuels who died alone in a hotel room next to a Mexican prostitute? or that conservative man who got a very public (filmed) violent fallout/divorce with his wife?? Tate caught in DV?? THIS is their kings. They are unable to keep women, or they have to PAY them to have/keep them. Tragic.

#those scrote think women want an alpha man but what we want is Jeremy Fragrance get real #answered

[gatzilksis-2]

My New Boyfriend

I met my new boyfriend Regan while working at a fast food restaurant. He's super cute, shaved light blond hair with big blue eyes and a little round belly.

He was a manager, and his shirt tightly clung to his belly. It drove me insane every time I saw it. I just wanted to touch him.

We started becoming friends back then. I assumed he was gay, but I was involved with someone and couldn't ask him out.

And then there was one wonderful day. I'd been about to follow Regan into the office, but he yelled. "Don't come in here!"

I asked why, and he said "I farted and it stinks."

Of course I had to sample it. I came into the office to a strong, sour smell undercut with the stench of soft shit. It was a great fart. "It's not that bad."

"You're crazy. I had wings last night and now it's bubbling." Regan set a hand on his belly, again driving me nuts.

Unfortunately, I didn't smell any more farts then. But about a week later, I went outside to smoke and Regan came with me. He bent both knees and farted powerfully without a word, deep and gargling. He stood straight and smiled at me for a reaction.

I could smell it on the air, stronger than his last one. I laughed. "That was good."

And not long after that, I quit the job, one reason being that I was in a relationship and couldn't do things with Regan.

But after I broke up with my fiance...

I saw Regan's car was at the fast food place and stopped by. I asked him out, he said yes, and then we had a date to Applebee's and the movies.

A silent fart spread through his car between the restaurant and the cinema. Regan smiled and cracked his window. "Good thing it's right across the street. I might rip during the movie."

"Romantic," I joked.

"I'll try not to."

I'm out of time for now, but more is coming soon ❤️

#farts #gatzilksis #eproctophilia #fart kink #eprocto #flatulence #fart fiction #fart stories #male fart fiction #male fart stories

[tuskicles]

Also guys for future reference!! This applies to ANYONE but if you're planning on sending me stuff of YOU YOURSELF farting- PLEASEEEE ASK FIRST!!!!! I have the right to say no under both my discretion and safety without giving you a reason. If I say no for any reason or change my mind- PLEASE respect my boundary and go on about your day.

And please- please only ask for permission if you are a male. Because I'm only sexually and romatically attracted towards guys, I ask that females don't send me videos of them farting because that is not something that I am personally into nor comfortable with.

Random but my only exception for female fart stuff is if its art AND of a fictional female- even if I am not into it nor am I turned on by it. Anything beyond that? No.

[rtothe3rd]

I made an AI write a review for a book about Joe Biden's history as a male stripper

Joe Biden's career as a male stripper will now get its own book. Advertisement Via News.com.au:

American publisher St Martin's Press has acquired the rights to Sex, God, Guns & Jesus, the book that details Vice President Joe Biden's career as a male exotic dancer in the 1980s. The book was released in August by Simon and Schuster and sold 32,000 copies and earned glowing reviews from most of the media. Biden wrote the book with his son Hunter, which the New York Times called an "unrelentingly upbeat" look at his time as a Delaware senator and then White House staffer. For obvious reasons, the Daily Beast had some thoughts on Biden being portrayed as the patron saint of chastity, and whether that was really necessary: No matter how much the vice president insists he is no longer pursuing a political career, or how quickly he claims to have moved on from the bar, there's a lot of lingering questions that linger in the bookshelves and blogs, waiting to be answered:

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Over the past few months, rumors have swirled that Hunter Biden might be the only person who knows how a son of a single, childless politician could find himself involved with someone much older, in a relationship that has its fair share of "will they, won't they" chemistry, and which is currently going through its share of growing pains and minor blow ups. Will the relationship ever lead to marriage? Will the younger Biden ever choose a career other than politics? After the relationship between Biden and Jill Smyth broke up in 2012, it seems like these were some of the questions that needed to be answered. Now, though, the book will be released in November.

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As for who's really gonna want to read that one, I'm not sure. But hey, what do I know?

Update 1:11 p.m. EDT: St Martin's Press has released a statement on their blog explaining their decision:

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The publisher has acquired the book for its "non-fiction fiction and biography divisions." President of St Martin's Press, Rick Galen, said in the statement, "Joe Biden's career as a male exotic dancer will now have a new chapter, and we are proud to publish it." While we have editorial processes in place to ensure that no skeletons in a politician's closet remain undiscovered, we respect the choice of the Vice President and hope this decision will enable him to avoid further speculation and focus on the important matters before Congress. The statement did not reference or acknowledge the troubling assertions by the book's author that Joe Biden was known as "Crazy Joe" and was given the nickname "Fart to understand" by his partners. Meanwhile, those claiming that Joe Biden was a "strip club guy" in the 1980s can celebrate the fact that their wish has finally been granted.

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UPDATE 2:29 p.m. EDT: Time has reached out to St. Martin's Press for comment on whether the book will include any false allegations or have any proven false statements. So far, no response has been provided. Additional reporting by Charlie Jane Anders. UPDATE 2:32 p.m. EDT:

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Joe Biden is finally out of office. But this evening, reports claim that an anonymous White House insider has claimed that Joe Biden is "secretly considering" a 2020 presidential run. UPDATE 2:36 p.m. EDT:

Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIF GIF: Gizmodo

UPDATE 2:36 p.m. EDT:

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In a new statement, St. Martin's Press addresses the claims that it "extracted Biden from a solemn promise to his late son" and distanced itself from the book. Here's the statement: We are unaware of any current plans to publish this book. However, it was not published or purchased by the publisher. It is a hoax. Joe Biden did not publish this book, did not purchase it, and has no involvement in it. We take our legal obligations seriously and have conducted a thorough investigation into the matter. Any attempts to deceive the publisher will be met with legal action. That said, the publisher did not respond to our requests for comment on whether they were aware that the book was billed as "true to the few confidential experiences that Biden shares with others" (note: this does not count sexual encounters with prostitutes), or whether they were aware that the book contained fabricated statements from the family of former vice president Walter Mondale.

Advertisement [St. Martin's Press]

PREVIOUSLY: As the internet waits with bated breath for Joe Biden to confirm the rumor that he's running for president in 2020, we've gone back to 1988 to look at the seven best lies Joe Biden has ever told. After a 40 year career in politics, the former Vice President Joe Biden announced today that he will not run for president. Joe Biden has spent his career telling lies, but now, at 74, he says he's ready to be President of the United States. If only it was that easy. After his wife of 46 years, Dr. Jill Biden, who has decided not to run, he has two small children and two teenage grandchildren. He's also an accomplished novelist. After spending the last 6 years being treated for cancer, he was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. Many things have changed in the last 6 years, but Joe Biden has refused to change much at all.

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But this isn't the first time Biden has lied. In fact, it's his nature to tell little white lies here and there. In an interview with Peter Alexander on NBC News he told a whole bunch of lies. Here are the seven best: 1. "I Will Be President" While on the 2008 campaign trail, a young college student asked Joe Biden if he was serious about running for president. Biden responded with a simple "yes." He then added, "I will be president." While it's not unusual for politicians to campaign with an assumption that they'll be running, the phrasing was very sloppy. In reality, after the initial question, Biden thought, "Okay, now that I've got that out of the way...a lot of stuff has happened." Then he added, "I have every intention of being president, but I'll take that one step at a time. Just check." So don't feel too bad for this kid. His question got a straight answer. He just didn't get one that he wanted.

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2. The "One Woman Man, Full Time" Lie When a woman claimed that Joe Biden made a pass at her in the 1980s, he denied it. According to GQ's Grantland: When Biden heard that an unnamed woman had accused him of having made a pass at her in the 1980s, he's admitted that he knew he didn't do it, and did something that we all know is Joe Biden's M.O.: He lied. In an exchange that was partially leaked to the media, then-Rep. Patrick Murphy asked Biden, "Did you make a pass at me when you were my age?" Biden answered, "I don't remember any of those things happening." The comment was designed to make it clear that the encounter was unimpressive, and that it wasn't a "real assault" by the standards of the American political world, at least. When pressed further, he said, "I'm not sure if I would characterize it that way. It was — no."

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[queenoftheblackpuddlexoxo]

I think I'm a gray aro lesbian. While I do get crushes on male fictional characters and celebrities, I don't think I could ever be happy dating a man. I'd date enby folk as well and ofc I'm including trans women in "dating women" despite what FARTs think. I just don't know the term for "into anyone except irl people who id as male."

[fagfromplanetass]

About:

- Longtime BDSM practitioner and kinkster, new to having a digital space.

- any/all pronouns, genderfluid irl, they/them is a safe bet. ‘kink contingent’ meaning my presentation and preferred pronouns fluxuate based on dynamic.

-various archetypes include: hot boy, alluring femme, dilligent servant, sadistic dominant powerbottom, and salacious voyeur💚

DNI: rape/extreme cnc, ageplay, raceplay, detrans kink, bestiality, people who use plus sized people as fetish content esp. without consent, cishet male doms, terfs, bigots of any kind.

Otherwise, respectfully NOT into: scat, piss, farts, vomit, military, DDLG, lactation, vore, lots of cum

Triggers: (currently) weight gain directed at me, detailed fantasies about drugs and drug use, self harm, eating disorder or proana content, anything relating to real life geopolitical conflict (you’d be surprised), mortality, death and dying.

Note: THIS ACCOUNT LOVES ALL BODY TYPES if you wanna be a little bitch about seeing a bigger body on this page, get your ass up and move it along.

Kinks:

To list a few….

- I am both a sadomasochistic submissive and dominant, depending on relationship. Into various principles of ownership, training, discipline, punishment, etc. Special recognition: Impact play.

- gen. authority, royalty kink, servant kink,

-professor/consenting student ‘hot for teacher’, sexual mentorship, dom apprenticing,

-peer superior dynamics (‘fagging’, bullying, ‘schoolyard’ alpha dynamics) rivalry, dual bratting, competition, dom4dom

-milfs, regina george style mean girls, cruel/bully high femmes ✨🥰 (also v much into soft femmes but vanilla)

-corruption and debauchery kink, hedonism kink, poor manners, general uncouth behavior,

-related: alcohol specific intox fetish. various aspects, aesthetics, and behaviors of drunkenness make me melt, includes many of the above, as well as eructophilia 🫣 and hiccups 🫣🫣

- LIGHT CNC (rivalry, wrestling, overpowering, also dubious consent situations like fictional heat and/or sex pollen)

-humiliation, teasing, internalized homophobia, shame-play

-body hair !!!!

-rings, jewlery, metal adornments.

-rigging and restraint (chairs esp.) light gore, light bloodplay, torture, edging.

-helmet/mask/covered face.

- mmf threewaying

-light belly stuffing and feedist content

- A few you don’t get to know about 🤫

Finally I will not be sharing my own body on this account as of now.

[fantasyideas1]

Yeah, and your boyfriend is so tall that when he puts you on your neck, your nose bleeds from the thin air, you're like an antenna on which lightning strikes, an umbrella for his fleas, because they told me that it's bad in bed with you, here they drink blood and there is not enough blood for another place, you wear a bell so that it does not crush you Marriage is like a sociology chart pie, where your fat wife takes up more of the bed, you sleep on the sweaty side, that's why you have a happy marriage He makes poop statues of famous people and fictional characters, hero figurines, he's a nihilist Alphonse is like a goat on your finger, does not immediately come off, like a poop that is difficult to wash off, you take the handle from the shower and wash it off, we understand Yes, and your fat wife looks like a cauldron (Kazakh national dishes), when she lies on her back, you twisted her counterclockwise to turn time back to marriage A teenager asked me how to grow up fast to have sex and smoke cigarettes and alcohol, I answer just lie on the floor in a fetal position, and spin clockwise to grow old I felt that someone was standing behind, the guy behind sniffed his armpits If you want to vomit, breathe into your mouth, thanks your diet helps The girl talks about her boyfriend, over his penis, the penis of his rudimentary twin, sometimes they fight for me, how they can fight, don’t ask, I don’t know myself, there were days when both penises agreed among themselves and took possession of his brain, he disappeared somewhere then he returned all covered in blood, it turned out that these were ordinary periods, he could not even change This prostitute has an airport of venereal diseases, various viruses You left the table to fart, how gallant, you are a real gentleman, but sometimes I don’t go out and fart at the table so that I get all the food, but sometimes people stubbornly sit and eat, puke and eat, this is my fan for farting The first date of the guy, hello, don’t be afraid of sex, we won’t have sex, he puts his penis on the table in a jar of formaldehyde, this is my penis, I don’t know why I carry this jar with me, I don’t know how to communicate with girls, I bet my best friends and they put crackers in me in my pockets, but then my anus was also torn off, now I have a vagina there From a machine gun of likes, they shoot at a person whom they love, but he sees dislikes as a symbol of shame for his behavior, I still love you and you won’t stop me When people are ashamed of you, and you pretend to be a brother to your girlfriend, or a gay girlfriend, or a spiritual friend, and pretend to be an uncle to your son, no, not incest, but he looks like, and I say not incest Got into the future, but there are naturals here? Fu human, pervert, I don’t know what it is, but I want children from her From parkour, he turned into a vegetable, fell badly, he is trying to say something, get this vegetarian away from me Two country houses have been fighting among themselves for many years, as pirates always want to board You need to get back your masculinity, male fluid, he's talking about sperm Someone said to your crooked teeth soldierly at ease The killer is under police interrogation, the policeman: tell me where the killer's accomplices are, hits him in the face, the killer: wait, I remember something, the policeman hit again, the killer: well, I forgot why you hit again, the policeman hit again, the killer began to forget letters and where is the right and where is the left, does not remember his name, the policeman got angry and hit him in the face, the killer left the police station a new man, with empty brains, he began a new life They say when you were conceived, you were like a sperm bullet, bounced off from everywhere, couldn’t find it for a long time, and to understand that the GPS map didn’t help, the tour was all over the body

Author: Musin Almat Zhumabekovich

#quotes

[luffysgomugomuprincess]

I just saw what you replug in the fact that you are upset with someone because you don’t agree with their opinion. Do you realize how fucking dumb you sound? All we ask is that they specify whether it’s gender neutral, or female or a male. That way, so we know whether we want to read it or not. We write our own fics, but there are a lot of gender, neutral people who don’t want to read gendered fiction . They want to read stuff made by other people, but don’t want to all of a sudden be gendered out of nowhere. You can go to hell with your opinion because you sound dumb as fuck. You’re messing with a minor just because he has an opinion, you don’t agree with. and that’s how we all feel. It’s not our fault that you guys don’t know how to fucking use your tags right you insulin dumb bitch. Mess with that kid again and I’ll fucking find you and rip you a new one.

Oooooh how about this suck a fart out of my ass 😂😂😂😂😂