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joontopia · 4 years

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No Room For Love - ksj | Chapter 1

pairings: jin x reader; jimin x oc

genre: ceo!au, business!au, enemies to lovers contains angst, fluff, & smut

warnings: nsfw, death of a minor character, language, little bit of angst, eventual smut, minor violence

chapter warnings: alcohol consumption, talks of death/character dying

a/n: IT’s FINALLY HERE. I’m so sorry this took so long for me to get out. After work getting crazier due to the pandemic, a lot of personal life interruptions, and a last minute change in parts of the plot and minor character details, it’s here! Shout out to my best friend and twin flame for being the best beta reader and fixing all of my mistakes (even if you poke fun at me for it, i still love you). I hope y’all enjoy it and thank you so much for being patient with me.

summary: You never belonged in this lifestyle. Never fit in with the high class society of the rich and famous. Being the illegitimate daughter of a famous CEO, you were always seen as an embarrassment. As dirty blood. But when your half brother, Jimin, decides to give up his inheritance to follow his dream as an Idol, you finally get the chance to prove yourself.

Burdened with the responsibility of protecting the family name and saving your father’s business, now is not the time for any distractions. But one night and one lapse in judgment lands you in the arms of rich party boy, Kim Seokjin. He’s reckless. He’s annoying. He’s absolutely gorgeous. And he’s definitely not the man your father has arranged for you to marry.

You can’t shake him or the feelings that come along. But soon you learn that there’s no room for love in a society that never loved you.

It’s odd, the things you remember when you’re watching someone die. Little memories that you long forgotten about start to resurface in your mind.

Like the tiny, two bedroom apartment you used to live in with your mom until you were thirteen. The walls you always remembered as a dull grey now shine in your mind as a bright sky blue. You’re sitting in the living room, dressed in a second hand princess costume. A handmade paper crown lies on the coffee table patiently waiting to be decorated with the mismatched gemstones that were spread around it. You’re smiling, drawing bright red hearts on the yellow construction paper. You can still remember the smell of the chocolate cupcakes your mom was baking in the kitchen for your sixth birthday. A hint of strawberry in the air from the homemade strawberry icing your mom was currently mixing on the counter, smiling every time she looked up to check on you. You felt your mouth start to water, remembering the taste of your birthday cupcakes. How every year, your mother would allow you one guess at her secret ingredient for her icing. You never were able to figure it out, and now you will never get the chance.

That little apartment was always a place you had associated with embarrassment and sadness. This single, happy memory of your childhood home making you tear up in your mother’s hospital room, riddled with guilt. You wished you would have appreciated her more. Instead, you spent the majority of your teenage years blaming her for everything that was wrong in your life growing up. How you grew up known as the bastard daughter of one of the wealthiest men in South Korea. The product of an affair between your mom and the CEO of Park Properties, Park Ji-woon.

You hear a few light knocks coming from the doorway, ripping you from your subconscious back into the present. Turning to look at the unexpected visitor, you feel a blanket of comfort fall over you as your eyes fall on the boy leaning on the door frame. His light pink hair was hidden under a black hat and half his face was covered by a black mask, but the way his eyes turned into crescents from his smile was all you needed to see to know who it was.

“Jimin.” You jump up from your chair by your mother’s bedside and run over to your half-brother, throwing your arms around him in a hug.

“Hey, Peaches.” You smiled at the childhood nickname Jimin gave you when you were both kids. He rubbed your back in comfort before breaking the hug, moving his hands down your arms to hold yours. “I’m sorry it took me so long. I jumped on a flight as soon as I heard.”

You look up at your brother with a small smile. “You didn’t have to come, Jiminie. I would’ve understood. You’re in the middle of a tour!”

“This is more important,” He says as he smiles back at you. Jimin was in the middle of a world tour with his four member idol group, Chaotic. He should be halfway across the world right now, performing half a dozen shows along the North American West coast. Instead, he is here at the bedside of his half sister’s dying mother, the woman who nearly ruined his family’s reputation. The media would have a field day.

Jimin looks over at your mother, his smile dropping as he takes in the ventilator she’s hooked up to. The sound of it breathing for her mixed with the beeping of the machines echoed off the walls of the quiet room.

“How much longer do we have?” His hands let go of yours as he walks over to an empty chair by your mother’s bed, taking her hand in his as he sat down.

“I don’t know.” You follow him, pulling up your chair next to him and sit down. “Doctor says it can be any moment now. Tomorrow, next week, the next few hours. She was slowly showing little signs of improvement, but suddenly it just took a turn for the worst.” You feel your eyes start to water and take a deep breath through your nose, trying your best to fight them back. It was only you and Jimin in the room. He wouldn’t blame you for crying. Anyone would be expected to cry in this situation, but letting your tears fall right now would just make this whole situation all too real. You weren’t ready to believe that your mother could be gone any day now.

“She’s always been a fighter, hasn’t she?” Jimin’s voice was barely above a whisper as his thumb rubbed the back of her hand.

“Yeah… She has.” You both sat there in silence for the next half hour. A few sniffles escape from Jimin, the bill of his black hat covering his eyes, making it hard for you to see if he’s crying. You hear another soft knock by the door, both of you turning to see one of the hospital nurses leaning into the room with a soft, close lipped smile on her face.

“I’m so sorry to disturb you, but visiting hours are almost over.”

You give her a small nod, returning the smile while telling her thank you before she disappears out of view. You hear shuffling next to you and turn to see Jimin standing up from his seat, smoothing out any wrinkles in his all black attire.

“Have you eaten yet?” He asks you as you stand up from your chair, following him to the doorway.

“No, I was just gonna grab something on the way home.”

“Come out with me and Ashley tonight. Tae came home too so you don’t have to worry about third wheeling.”

You stopped in the doorway. Jimin turned to look back at you, catching the look of surprise on your face.

“Taehyung’s here, too?” You were surprised to hear he was back. Taehyung was your highschool sweetheart and Jimin’s best friend. Your relationship was short lived, ending on his terms, shortly after him and Jimin debuted together as Idols. You’ve only exchanged a handful of words to each other in the two years since then. It’s safe to say spending any prolonged amount of time with him was not on the top of your to-do list.

Jimin gives you a soft smile, the look of confusion and surprise not lost on him. “He’s worried about you. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but he still cares about you, Y/N.”

You let out a sigh, turning your head to give one more look into your mom’s hospital room. Turning back towards Jimin, you walk towards him, following him down the hallway to the elevators. You were still surprised Taehyung flew all the way back from their tour in support of you. You sneak a glance at Jimin, starting to feel a little guilty that they both flew all this way for you. The least you could do was go to dinner with them.

“Yeah, I’ll go,” you finally answer him.

He turns to look at you, eyes shining bright under the bill of his hat as he smiles at you. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you say, smiling back at him. “One night out in a while may be good for me.”

Dinner went by in a blur. Your best friend Ashley secured a private room at a popular BBQ restaurant for the four of you. Perks of being the daughter of one of the wealthiest men in Seoul. Being the known girlfriend of the beloved Park Jimin helped, too. After an awkward, half-assed hug and an exchange of small talk with Taehyung, you spent most of the dinner avoiding eye contact with him. Ashley, sensing your discomfort, was doing her best keeping the boys talking about stories from their tour. It wasn’t long until a bottle of soju was ordered for the table. With everyone taking shots, it didn’t take long for you to start to feel more relaxed and enjoy yourself, laughing at Jimin’s recount of how Tae accidentally broke into the wrong hotel room while drunk.

“He was just lucky it was our manager’s room,” Jimin laughed while Tae was shaking his head in his hand.

“Oh, poor Taehyungie. We just can’t take you anywhere, can we?” You said with a smile as you took another shot of soju.

Taehyung looked up at you with a brief look of surprise at you addressing him before turning his lips up into a smirk. He looked between you and Ashley, asking the two of you a question while pouring himself another shot. “So what have you girls been up to while we’ve been away?”

“Nothing as exciting as midnight skinny dips in hotel pools,” Ashley said with a huff as she rested her elbow on the table, head leaning on her hand. “Y/N-ssi has been kept busy with work. I’ve managed to get her to come out for dinner and drinks every now and then. She doesn’t like to come out and play as much as she used to.” Ashley looked at you with a pout.

“We’re not in university anymore, Ash.” You roll your eyes, smiling at your best friend as she stuck her tongue out at you. You and Ashley spent the better parts of your university days jumping from one party or club to another. A luxury you haven’t been able to indulge in as of late due to the increased involvement your father has been wanting you to have with his company. You hear Tae snicker across the table from you. You raise an eyebrow at him, not sure what exactly he was laughing at.

“We should go out tonight then,” Jimin said as he waved over the waitress, handing her his credit card to cover the dinner bill. Ashley squealed happily in response.

“Yes! There’s a new club I’ve been dying to go to! I can get us on the list.” Ashley grabbed her phone off the table, her fingers tapping away on the screen.

You nibbled on your bottom lip before speaking. “I don’t --” The words were barely out of your mouth when Taehyung cuts you off.

“What? Daddy’s little girl can’t come out and play again? I guess some things just never change.” You watch as Tae takes another shot of soju. You hated it when he called you a daddy’s girl. His tone of voice always puts such a negative connotation on it. You always knew your habit of doing what was expected of you bothered him. That very tendency of yours being one of the main reasons for your break-up. It was part of what fueled your partying back in university, feeling the need to prove him wrong. You try to tell yourself that you didn’t have anything to prove to him now, but you also didn’t want him to know his comment got under your skin.

“Let’s do it,” you say, standing up from your chair. Jimin and Tae looked at you in surprise as Ashley stood up with you.

“So awesome! Word hasn’t gotten out yet that you guys are back in town, so no one should suspect to see two Chaotic members out in Seoul. We might be able to go unnoticed by the media. Now come on, we can stop by my apartment to change before we go. I have the cutest outfit that you can wear.” Ashley grabbed your hand, leading you out of the restaurant. The boys following closely behind you. As you make it out to the street and towards Jimin’s car, you try your best to give yourself a mental pep talk.

“It’s just one night, Y/N… What could possibly happen?”

JIN POV

“Hey, Yoongi. Chanyeol just told me that two members of Chaotic have been added to the guest list tonight. Should we block off one of the VIP booths for them?” Namjoon walks into the office, plopping down on one of the chairs in front of Yoongi’s desk.

“Chaotic? Aren’t they halfway across the world right now?” Yoongi asks, feet propped up on his desk as he leans back in his office chair, scrolling through his phone. One of his hands absentmindedly fluffing his mint colored hair.

“Yeah, I think your boy got bamboozled, Joon.” Jin laughs, sitting up from his prone position on the office couch. Namjoon flashes his middle finger before running his hand through his light brown hair.

“Fuck off, dude. He says he’s friends with one of the member’s girlfriends. She texted him an hour ago saying it’s going to be her, 2 members, and some girl.”

“He always says he knows someone’s girlfriend or cousin or whatever. This is the last freebie he gets. Anyone else, he needs to run it by me first.” Yoongi states, eyes still glued to his phone. Namjoon hums in response, too preoccupied looking at his own phone to give a proper acknowledgement.

Jin looks at his own phone, checking the time. 10:47 PM. Yoongi’s club should be in full swing of operations by now, evident by the bass of the music vibrating the walls of the office. Jin stands from the couch, letting out a small huff of boredom. This was just another party, another night full of alcohol-fueled entertainment. Another night full of socialite girls with personalities as interesting as watching cement dry. He takes a look at his two best friends, his two partners in crime. Best friends since childhood that grew up to be known as the biggest Playboys in all of Seoul. The first few years since they all came of age were fun, but lately the fun seems to have run stale, at least for Jin. When Yoongi opened this club a month ago, Jin was hoping it would reignite the passion for partying. It did for a while, but it quickly became the same party just a different scene. He claps his hands together, taking a few steps towards the door.

“Well, shall we get the night started?” Jin turns to his friends, the club music becoming louder as he opens the door to the office. Yoongi and Namjoon stand from their chairs, walking past Jin and out the door.

“Good time as any,” Namjoon says while checking something on his phone. “Chanyeol says his friend is here with the Chaotic members. They’re making their way to one of the VIP booths now.”

“Moment of truth. This should be interesting.” Yoongi slaps Namjoon on the back, walking past him and down the short hall to the club. Jin follows behind them, closing the door. He lets a yawn pass his lips, stretching his arms out through it and placing his hands behind his head. As they make their way out towards the dance floor, the boys stop at the small landing that looks over the club. Namjoon points towards the VIP area, pointing out a guy with light pink hair with his arms around a girl.

“That’s got to be Park Jimin,” Namjoon shouts at Jin and Yoongi over the loud music of the club.

“Well, where’s the other one?” Yoongi shouts back. The three of you scan the dance floor looking for another one of the Chaotic members. After a few moments, Namjoon points towards the bar. “There! Pretty sure that’s Kim Taehyung. The girl next to him must be the other person that’s with him.”

Jin looks over towards the bar, his dark brown eyes widening as his eyes land on you. “Wow.” The word left his mouth without him even realizing. Namjoon turns to him and smirks.

“Don’t get too excited, Jinnie boy. That’s probably his girlfriend.” Namjoon punches Jin’s shoulder lightly, walking down the small set of stairs after Yoongi and making their way towards the VIP section. Jin kept his eyes on you. He took in the annoyed look on your face as Taehyung was talking to you. There’s no way you were his girlfriend. Not with that look of disinterest in whatever it was that Taehyung was saying to you. He continued to watch as you grabbed the drinks from the bartender, turning away from Taehyung while he was mid sentence and made your way up to the VIP area. “Even if you are his girlfriend, you’re obviously not happy with him right now,” Jin thought to himself. “Doesn’t matter. You’ll be mine by the end of the night.” Jin started down the stairs, following his friends to the VIP area, smiling to himself. Looks like it wasn’t going to be another boring night after all.

Holding the drinks you bought for you and Ashley, you make your way through the sea of dancers and back towards the VIP area. You’ve only been in the club for a total of 10 minutes and you already regret it, wishing you could leave now and curl up in the comfort of your own bed. The skin tight black bodycon dress and stilettos Ashley dressed you in; making you feel slightly uncomfortable and you weren’t quite drunk enough just yet for the short length not to bother you. Taehyung wasn’t helping your mood either. When he had offered to help carry drinks, you were hoping it would be an act of kindness performed in silence. Instead, you spent the entire time trying to tune out his backhanded apology.

“I’m sorry if what I said at dinner upset you, Y/N. You didn’t have to come out tonight to prove anything. I know fun like this isn’t really your scene.”

You scoff at the replay of his words in your head. Fun like this. What was he trying to say? You enjoyed plenty of fun like this when you were in university with Ashley. You couldn’t help but think that he would know that, if only he didn’t find you not worthy of his time to stick around back then. It’s not your fault he decided to show back up when you have to act like a grown up. You have a reputation to upkeep now. You already have so much working against you, being labeled as a constant party girl wouldn’t help.

You start up the stairs to the VIP area only to be stopped when you feel someone grab your elbow. You turn to look at the unwelcome interruption and find Taehyung glaring at you with an annoyed expression, holding two bottle beers in his free hand.

“What now, Tae?” You bite at him, not even trying to hide the annoyance in your voice or on your face.

“You can’t just walk away like that. It can be easy to lose you in this crowd. You need to be more careful.” Tae holds onto your elbow, only letting go when you jerk it out from his hand.

“I know how to navigate a club, Tae. Believe it or not, this isn’t my first time at one. I can look out for myself.” You turn back around and start back up the staircase. You hear Taehyung say something behind you, barely making out him say “Fucking brat” over the loud music. Whether he meant for you to hear it or not, you don’t care. You decide to ignore him, rolling your eyes and continuing on.

Once you make it up to the VIP area, you see JImin and Ashley sitting with three other guys, talking and laughing.You take in the three strangers, trying to figure out why they look so familiar. The low lighting of the club makes it hard to see them clearly from this short distance. You could tell they looked around your age, if not just a bit older. You see the guy next to Jimin throw his head back in laughter. His mint colored hair pushed slightly back with a headband and a gummy smile displaying across his face as he leaned his head back down. Next to him sat a taller man with light brown hair and horn rimmed glasses. He was laughing along too, listening to the other two boys in whatever conversation they were holding.

It was the third guy talking to Ashley that held your gaze longer than the other two. His profile alone was alluring. Your eyes travelled from his dark hair that fell into his eyes to the sharp cut of his jawline. From there your eyes moved to his neck, watching his Adam's apple bob up and down as he talked before taking in the wide set of his shoulders. You don’t realize you were fantasizing how it would feel like to run your mouth up and down his neck and shoulders until he looks in your direction. His eyes meet yours, smirking as if he knew what you were just doing, pulling you out of your thoughts and back to reality. You couldn’t help but look at his lips, noticing how plump they were before taking in his full face. From this angle, his features seemed soft and boyish if it weren’t for the contrast of his jawline. God, he was gorgeous. Ashley follows his gaze to you, smiling as she jumps up to grab her drink and pull you towards the table.

“Oh, Y/N! Tae! Perfect timing! Come meet our new friends.” Ashley pulls you down into the seat next to her, right across from the wide shoulder Adonis. Tae took the seat next to you, passing Jimin’s beer to him across the table. Ashley grabs everyone’s attention, introducing everyone around the table starting with the mint haired boy.

“This is Min Yoongi. He’s the owner of this club. Next to him is Kim Namjoon. His dad owns one of the largest recording labels here in Seoul.” The two boys take their turns waving at you. You return a polite smile before Ashley moves your attention to the last newcomer, his lips turning up into another smirk once your eyes meet. You feel your eyes trail down his body, eyes glancing over the part of his chest peeking from his white V-neck before landing on the exposed skin of his thighs from the sinfully ripped jeans he was wearing. You start wondering how his body looks under his clothes before mentally slapping yourself, shooting your eyes back up to his. He lets out a small chuckle and you know he is completely aware that he’s been mentally undressed by you. To be fair, it probably happens to him all the time. Too busy ogling over your tablemate, you don’t notice the death glare Taehyung is shooting his way or the way Ashley looks between the two of you with a raised eyebrow before continuing her introduction.

“And this is Kim Seokjin. Guys, this is Kim Taehyung and, last but not least, my best friend and Jimin��s sister, Park Y/N.”

“Please, call me Jin,” he says, giving you a wink and you immediately feel heat rise to your cheeks as you smile. And then it dawns on you.

The drop of his name finally sparks recognition in you. Now you know why these three men look so familiar. You see their names and faces all over tabloids and socialite centric internet articles. Kim Seokjin and two partners in crime. The notorious, rich playboys of Seoul. Not necessarily bad news, but bad enough for you to mark him as off limits. He is definitely someone you shouldn’t be associated with. It’s too bad. He looks absolutely delicious. But like you said earlier, it’s just one night. One night couldn’t hurt much, right?

“Nice to meet you guys. It’s a nice club you have here.” You look towards Yoongi and lift your drink in the air towards him. A little toast before you take a sip, leaning back into your seat.

“Thank you.” he says, nodding his head in appreciation. “So what brings you guys out tonight? I thought you two would be in the middle of a world tour.” Yoongi points between Tae and Jimin before drinking from his own beer.

“Yeah, we almost didn’t believe it was you guys when we heard it,” Namjoon said with a slight chuckle.

Jimin laughs before responding, his eyes turning into crescent shapes as he smiles. “I had to come back for a family matter. We’re in a break between shows right now anyways. We’ll head back once we get things settled. Tae came along for support.”

“Just trying to show support to those who need me,” Tae says as he throws his free arm over the back of your chair. You feel him try to subtly place his hand on your shoulder and you shoot him a glare out of the side of your eye. You sit up, leaning forward in your chair away from his arm, trying to cover up your scoff with a sip of your drink, hoping it would go unnoticed. You see Tae rolling his eyes from your peripherals, rolling yours back in response. Placing your drink on the table, you look up at Jin sitting across from you just in time to see his darkened eyes as he takes in Tae’s arm on your chair. His eyes move to meet yours, the darkened look disappearing. You raise your brow at him curiously. Is he jealous? Over Taehyung? You giggle to yourself at the thought. If only he knew Tae wasn’t a threat. “If only you didn't have bad news written all over you,” you thought to yourself.

“So are you guys just out on a double date?” Jin asks, still looking at you. You involuntarily snort, causing the group to look in your direction. Ashley looks at you with a bemused expression, a little giggle slipping past her lips as she takes a sip of her drink.

“No, this is not a double date,” you say while trying to regain your composure. You continue your ramble, pointing between yourself and Taehyung. “We’re not… No. Definitely not a double date.”

“Get it together, girl,” you think to yourself, grabbing your drink and downing the rest of it. Maybe you were drunker than you originally thought. Ashley takes the opportunity to take over the conversation, pulling the guys attention towards her and Jimin. You silently thank her as you peek at Taehyung out of the corner of your eye. You notice he has his jaw clenched and tense, probably a reaction from your blatant display of distaste at being considered his. You know you should feel bad, but you don’t. He lost the right to have any sort of claim over you a long time ago. You start to feel the need to escape and go to excuse yourself from the table.

“I’ll be back. I need another drink,” you announce as you stand from your seat. Jin looks at you, slowly rising from his chair.

“Would you like some company?”he asks, his plush lips turning up into a soft smile. You were about to turn him down, only changing your mind when you hear Tae try to interject.

“I’ll go with --”

“Actually, Jin. I would love your company.” Jin’s smile grows wider. He offers his arm to you as he stands up. You take it, wrapping your hands around his biceps. Enjoying the feeling of how his muscles flex under your touch.

The two of you walk towards the bar, ignoring Tae as he calls out your name. This wasn’t one of your best decisions, walking away from your friends with someone you literally just met. Especially someone you had just labeled as off limits. Your emotions and the alcohol in your system being the main influencers on the choice. Despite being practically a stranger, you feel safe with Seokjin. You tell yourself not to worry about it. One night making choices on a whim shouldn’t do much damage in hindsight, right?

Your mind is lost to the beat of the music, focusing only on weaving through the crowd of club goers as you make your way to the bar. With every step, you can feel all the alcohol you’ve had creeping up on you. You start to feel the tingling sensation in your face and you can’t remember the last time you felt this good. Feeling a little unstable in the stilettos, you cling a little tighter to Jin’s arm, focusing hard on not tripping.

Finally at the bar, Jin waves over the bartender, ordering the two of you a round of shots. You think about turning the shot down, but decide against it. You remind yourself this is the first night in a while that you’ve spent somewhere other than at home. You deserve at least one night to enjoy yourself. While waiting for the shots to be made, you lean your back against the bar and take a look around the club, finally taking the time to admire the layout. The majority of the first level was occupied by a lit up dance floor, the edges around the walls lined with couches and high top tables. The VIP area was located on a lofted 2nd level overlooking the dance floor. It's very packed now, the newness of the venue still not worn off. Your eyes wander back up to the VIP area and you notice Taehyung standing at the railing, staring at you. You fight the urge to roll your eyes at him, instead choosing to turn around and face the bar.

“Let me guess. Ex-boyfriend?” Jin leans up against the bar next to you, giving you a smirk when you turn to look at him.

“What gave it away?” You ask, propping your chin on your hand as you smile back at him.

“Would you believe me if I said I’m good at reading people?” Jin leaned closer to you, plump lips spread into a beautiful smile.

“I would,” you say, turning away from him as the bartender brings the two shots, picking yours up from the bartop. “But why do I get the feeling it’s more to do with knowing from experience?” Jin laughs, grabbing his shot and clinking the glass up against yours.

“So you’ve heard of me?” He asks before you both down your shots.

“Who hasn’t heard of the man who coined his own nickname, Mr. Worldwide Handsome?” You lick your lips, savoring the fruity taste of the shot that was still on your tongue. You’re amazed how you couldn’t even taste the alcohol and wouldn’t mind having another. “This was delicious, by the way. Did you come up with it?”

“Good guess, I did. It’s my secret weapon. You want another round?” Jin catches the attention of the bartender again, raising his glass and pointing at it. Already ordering another round before even waiting for your answer.

“Are you trying to get me drunk, Jin? Trying to take advantage of me?” You ask, the alcohol making you feel bold as you lean in close to him. He leans into you, too, moving his hand to push a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Yes and no. You don’t seem like the type of girl to let that happen.” He lightly caresses the side of your face, fingers lingering on your cheek and you let him.

“Hmm, smart boy,” you say before moving your face away from his hand. The bartender drops off your next round of shots and you both waste no time in downing them. “So, what is your type of girl, Seokjin?”

“Why? Interested in applying?” Jin says to you before turning to signal to the bartender for another round. You answer him when he turns back in your direction.

“Sorry, Jinnie boy. But you’re not my type.”

“What? Handsome not your type?” He says as the bartender drops off the third round.

“No,” you respond with a smile. “Trouble isn’t my type.” You both grab a shot. You go to drink yours while Jin gives you a smirk.

“Ah, but you do think I’m handsome.”He looks at you with a twinkle in his eye as he downs his shot and you laugh. He’s funny and you like his confidence. It’s a shame you won’t allow yourself to get to know more of his personality. That’s something that would take more than just tonight to learn, and again, he is not someone you need to be associated with. But damn, do you think he looks handsome. He’s absolutely gorgeous.

Jin places the shot glass on the bar top and leans in close to you. You feel a tingling sensation go through your body and convince yourself it's from the alcohol and not his close proximity. Jin gives you a quick look up and down, and you know he is completely aware of the effect he has on you. “You know,” he says leaning in even closer. “You’re spending a lot of time with a guy who isn’t your type.”

“What? A girl’s not allowed to have herself a little fun?” You bat your lashes at him, leaning in towards him, closing the little distance between you two. Your lips are inches apart, close enough for you to feel the warmth of his breath. You smell the fruitiness of shots on his breath and take a quick glance down to his lips, wondering which of you will break and close the gap first. Another few seconds of the stand off passes before you decide you were going to make the first move, only to be interrupted when you hear someone call your name. You and Jin pull away from each other and turn to see Ashley walk up with Jimin close behind her.

“Y/N! There you are! You left your phone up at the table. I’ve been trying to text you.” Ashley hands your little black clutch, fully prepared to lecture you for disappearing when she turns to look at JIn. Jin gives her a smile before she turns back to you. “Oh,” she says and gives you a knowing smile.

“Sorry, Ash. I didn’t mean to be gone this long. Jin and I were just enjoying ourselves,” you say as you pull out your phone, checking the notifications before putting it back into your purse.

“Oh, I’m sure,” she teases. “Anyways, Taehyung already left and Jimin and I are heading out ourselves. Are you ready to go?”

You instinctively move to follow Ashley, stopping yourself midstep. “Actually.” You look at Jin who is staring at you before looking back at Ashley. “I think I’m going to stay a little longer.” You look back at Jin who gives you a wide smile.

Ashley looks between you and Jin, smiling again when she leans in to give you a hug. “Text me when you get home, okay? And Seokjin...” Ashley steps back from you and turns to the tall man. “Take care of her. If anything happens to her, I know where to find you.”

Jimin waves goodbye to you as he and Ashley turn and leave. Jin waves back before leaning towards you. “Should I be scared of her?” He asks with a laugh.

“Yes, you should be,” you say with a giggle. Feeling the alcohol course through your body, you start to move to the beat of the music. With a surge of confidence, you grab Jin’s hand and start pulling him onto the dance floor. “Now come on. I want to dance.”

You lose track of time out on the dance floor, getting lost in the music and enjoying the feeling of Jin’s body pressed up against yours. Ever so often, he let his hands wander up and down your body. You intercept his hand each time before they are able to discover an intimate part of your body, giggling and laughing each time you feel his pout against your neck. After a few songs of grinding up against each other, Jin decides to put on a show for you, granting you multiple displays of what he calls his ‘signature dance moves.’ One move in particular sends you doubling over in laughter, the way Jin stands with his feet shoulder-width apart, head thrown back while he wiggles his arms shamelessly from side to side. After exhausting all his talent, Jin pulls you back up into the VIP area asking to take a breather, his dark hair sticking to his forehead from sweat. You agree with him, your own legs starting to feel sore from trying to dance in heels. He sits you down in one of the booths before walking over to grab two bottles of complementary water from an ice bucket against the back wall, stopping for a quick chat with Namjoon along the way.

You watch him, eyes trailing up and down his long body. Admiring the way his ripped jeans clung to his legs, sweat glistening on the exposed areas of his thigh. He opens one of the water bottles and takes a drink. You’re mesmerized by the bob of his Adam’s apple, wanting nothing more than to walk over and suck love marks along the surface area of his neck. You lightly shake your head, pulling yourself back to reality as you reach into your clutch for your phone, looking for a distraction. Clicking your screen on, your eyes widen when you look at the time. 2:03 AM. Fuck. You need to be up for work in a little over 5 hours. The small bout of panic sobers you just a little and you silently scold yourself for not playing more attention to how late it was getting. You look back up at where Jin stood talking to Namjoon, making brief eye contact with him. He gives you a quick wink before turning back to Namjoon, continuing on with whatever he was saying. You smile from the cuteness of the wink, feeling giddy from the action only for it to be quickly replaced by a small wave of sadness that washes over you.

You really enjoyed yourself tonight. You couldn’t tell what brought on the sadness; the fact that your night of fun was coming to an end or the fact that, if you could help it, won’t ever see Seokjin again. You decide for it to be the former. It’s safer this way. You enjoyed your night with Jin and you completely understand why girls would still flock to him, regardless of his playboy reputation. If only you had the luxury of being one of those girls, you would throw caution aside and allow yourself to enjoy all that is Seokjin. To hell with whatever gossip or rumors would manifest about you. Unfortunately, you’re not one of those girls and you’ve been lucky enough already to make it through the night without anyone recognizing you. You let out a soft sigh, knowing the time has come for you to return back to reality.

Placing your phone back in your clutch, you stand from your seat and walk towards Jin. You place your hand on his shoulder, pulling his attention to you. He turns back to Namjoon, letting him know he’ll catch up with him later before the taller boy walks over to the railing of the VIP area, joining Yoongi in watching the club goers down below.

Jin turns back to you, smiling as he moves you closer to the wall. “Sorry, I kept you waiting. Namjoon doesn’t know when to shut up sometimes. Did you start to miss me?”

He hands you an unopened bottled water before bracing his hand on the wall behind you. You give him a soft smile as a thank you as you lean back against the wall. The beautiful smile on his face makes it hard for you to form words. Why did he have to be so goddamn gorgeous?

“It’s time for me to go home, Jin.” You cross your arms across your chest and tilt your head back to look up at his face.

Jin nods his head before responding. “And so you came over here to invite me over? I accept.” He gives you another heart stopping smile as a light laugh escapes your lips.

“I came to tell you bye. This is where we part ways. It was nice meeting you, Seokjin.” You go to push off the wall to leave, stopping yourself as Jin goes to talk.

“Now why does that feel more like a ‘Goodbye’ than a ‘See you later’? Running off at midnight like Cinderella. Do you not want to see me again? I thought we were having a good time,” he turns his lips into a pout, but you can tell by his tone he was being playful.

“Running off at 2AM, actually. And It was a good time. But as I said before, you’re trouble. And I stay away from trouble. It’s best if we just end things here.” You try to stand tall, putting as much authority in your tone of voice as you can manage to let him know you’re serious. Jin leans in close to you. You inhale deeply trying to maintain your composure despite his close proximity, catching a light trace of whatever cologne he was wearing. It smelt woodsy and delicious and you were trying to figure out how you didn’t notice it before.

His lip brushing against your earlobe sending shivers down your spine. “I can be a good boy,” he whispers to you and you smile, rolling your eyes as he pulls back just enough to look at you.

“I highly doubt that,” you tease him.

“How about this.” Jin reaches into his pocket with his free hand, pulling something out. He holds up his hand in the small gap between the two of you and you focus on the shiny round object before looking back at him. Your eyebrows furrow in curiosity. “We’ll flip a coin.”

You throw your head back and laugh. “Flip a coin? Really?” you said raising an eyebrow at him. His tongue sneaks out to wet his pillow lips before spreading them into a wide smile. You can still smell a hint of the fruity shots from earlier on his breath as he speaks.

“We flip a coin. Heads, you come home with me. Tails… Well, at least give me your number.” Jin chuckles after the last condition.

“What makes you think I’ll play along with your little game?” you ask before licking your lips, catching your tongue between your teeth as you look up at him.

“Live a little, princess. Take a walk on the wild side with me.” Jin flicks his eyes down to your tongue before looking back at you. His eyes looking darker even in the dimness of the club’s VIP area. “You ready? Call it in the air.”

You watch as he balances the coin on top of his thumb and index finger. He flicks his thumb up, sending the coin flipping in the air. You watch the coin, wondering what fate it would decide for you, already thinking up an excuse to get out of either. You see Jin move his hand out of the corner of your eye, thinking he’s going to grab the coin. Instead, he catches you by surprise, grabbing your chin and lightly turning your face towards him, his lips crashing down on yours as the forgotten coin crashes down to the ground, rolling away out of sight.

Your mind goes blank at the sudden action, your lips on autopilot as they move in tandem with his. You feel butterflies in your stomach as you melt into the softness of his lips. You can tell that he’s holding back, probably expecting you to push him off at any moment. Your hands move to his chest, half a mind to stop things before they go too far. The small guttural moan that comes from his throat ignites a fire in your bones, awakening a desire in you. A desire that can only be satiated by one Kim Seokjin. Your hands move further up his chest and around his neck, pulling him closer to you as your fingers knit themselves in his hair.

Jin nips at your bottom lip, swiping his tongue across the bitten area, asking for permission to enter. You let him, the loud music of the club now being drowned out by the sound of your heartbeat pulsating in your ears. You nearly forget where you are, what you were trying to do before his lips found yours. The people and the room disappear around you with the only thing existing is Jin, his plump lips, and the delicious way his hands roam up and down your body. You allow his hands to roam freely this time, no intention in stopping his endeavors as you lose yourself in his touch. It wasn’t until the sound of Yoongi yelling at the two of you to get a room that you were pulled back into reality. Jin pulls back away from you just slightly, the both of you smiling as you try to catch your breath.

“Well,” Jin says as he pushed a fallen strand of your hair back behind your ear. “What’s the verdict?”

You know you should go home. Leave him here without so much as your number as you return back to your uneventful life. But you can’t stop thinking about the way his lips feel on yours. How badly you want him and how that want extends for more than just tonight. It’s a bad idea. He’s a bad idea and no matter how many times you’ve told yourself that tonight, the one thing that you’ve said to yourself more rings louder in your head. It’s just one night, what’s the worst that can happen?

You grab the collar of Jin’s shirt, bringing him in for another kiss. You pull away after one, smiling at the way he chases your lips, wanting more. “I’ll tell you my answer..” you pause, grabbing his hand in yours, pulling him away from the wall. “After you buy me another drink.”

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mitigatedchaos · 3 years

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Review: SAC_2045

(~3,700 words, 15 minutes)

This post will contain some minor spoilers for SAC_2045.

Summary: You may have thought SAC_2045 was a poor entry in the Ghost in the Shell franchise - actually, it's just intended for younger audiences.

Previously: Standalone Complex 202045:1-4 (superseded)

-☆☆☆-

And what did you think of the remaining episodes of GitS:SAC_2045?

[ @irradiate-space ]

Standalone Complex

There's a certain indescribable feeling associated with Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex as a work, an artistic touch related to the director associated with it, independent of other considerations. SAC_2045 has it, which isn't too surprising since Kenji Kamiyama is back.

SAC_2045 is Standalone Complex. For a brief moment, while watching it, I inhabited my pre-2016 personality and outlook. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Since the arrival of streaming I've tended to bingewatch series, but on the first run-through I decided not to bingewatch this one.

If you approach this show as season 4 of Standalone Complex (Solid State Society being season 3), it's underwhelming. Now, viewing it again, it's become obvious that a conventional season 4 of Standalone Complex was never the intent of SAC_2045 to begin with.

For those of you who have delayed until now, the English dub has been uploaded - it released without one due to the pandemic. They bring back a number of the voice actors from the excellent Standalone Complex dub, though having already watched it with subtitles, I didn't feel the need to confirm the dub's quality.

Sustainable War

To properly describe a new theory of war is the same thing as to invent it. While the idea of war as a for-profit industry has been kicked around for some time, it's generally assumed that this is a kind of parasitic relationship on the part of the war-making industry.

As time goes on, warfare becomes more abstract (partly because warfare happens where it can happen), much like society itself is becoming more abstract as information moves more quickly and humanity gains access to more energy.[1] In SAC_2045, "Sustainable War" is part of the context of the world and its current issues, but we aren't really told how it works - if it's similar to contemporary information warfare and a blurring of the lines between state and non-state actors, it's bound to be quite confusing.

I believe my earlier assessment of "Sustainable War" is correct. The key feature of sustainable war, the reason they say it's safe if you leave it to the experts, is likely that it involves AIs constantly forecasting against each other and moving units around with few direct confrontations. The goal would be to lock in a victory without having to fire a shot, except for small skirmishes that don't escalate to major incidents (due to the AI forecasting).

The presence of armed separatist movements even in Japan may also indicate that the ruling institutional bodies are engaged in a kind of Post-International Politics,[2] which treats all international relations as fundamentally existing between subnational entities - however, I believe that later information suggests this wasn't their original intent.

What makes it "sustainable"? Since if done correctly, very little is actually physically destroyed, the cost is less than conventional warfare, and thus the war can continue indefinitely. Why does it threaten humanity with destruction? Because there's an awful lot of military hardware waiting for someone to actually pull the trigger.

Season 1: Ep. 2

So what is the intent of the series' creators? I think they may be telling us through this dialogue between Togusa and Section Chief Daisuke Aramaki in episode 2.

Aramaki: Seems time has toughened you up. Togusa: Is that supposed to be a compliment? Aramaki: It is if you want it to be. Togusa: Then thanks for the kind words. “I made the right decision by choosing this line of work over my marriage.” That’s what you’re saying? Aramaki: Perhaps. [...] Togusa: They're bringing back Section 9? [...] Aramaki: But my takeaway from the proposal is this: The PM's reason for the urgent reforming of Section 9 takes priority over his personal motives. I believe his true objective is meeting the Americans' demands for the dispatch of special resources. Togusa: So it's as the Liberals feared? An American-born Prime Minister would be no more than an American puppet? Aramaki: I've yet to meet him in person, so I can't really say. But this is an opportunity to have the Major and the rest of you undertake a major operation for me once more. Togusa: What sort of op? Aramaki: Over the past few years, I have searched for an answer on how to deal with a society in turmoil. I'd like you people to lay the groundwork that will help the next generation find that answer. Togusa: I don't know what a man in my position can contribute, but I'll humbly offer whatever assistance I can.

Those of us who cried, Kamiyama, tell us the future once more! based on Standalone Complex's prophetic analysis of a memetic crime wave were bound to be disappointed. SAC_2045 is less rooted in the near future than in the now - cyberbullying, endless war amidst historic prosperity, employment suppressed by automation, savings eaten up by the complex machinations of finance, and a breakdown of national borders? That's today.

Those of us who hoped for a Ghost in the Shell: Unicorn, a psychically overpowering work that synthesizes the full body of Ghost in the Shell into a single coherent form to elevate us to a higher level of understanding, should have tempered our expectations. To reach each new philosophical level is more difficult than the last - to achieve that with Ghost in the Shell of all things would have required a multidisciplinary genius near the limits of current understanding.

Kenji Kamiyama is just an anime director. And anyhow, Gundam Unicorn was a book before it was an animated series. And who among us even knew we'd have to write a book before 2015? Ghost in the Shell was well-understood enough, so I instead wrote 25,000 words worth of hypothetical country and became a blogger, like the infamous Scott Alexander.[3]

If we approach SAC_2045 from the lens that it's a humbler work designed for younger audiences, however, some of the creative decisions make more sense.

Purin

Just how old is Purin, the MIT grad who joins the team later on? If I had to guess, that's '23歳' on that profile she provides, and Ishikawa notes that she 'skipped a few grades' on her way to a PhD. But she acts like someone a lot younger. She's enthusiastic and we're assured she's intelligent, but seems to be lacking social training. For example, she makes the mistake of assembling an era-accurate music player for Batou combined with a playlist after consulting the Tachikomas to find out what he listens to. There are two ways to take this.

The first is that she's intended as a relateable character for someone who would make this class of mistake. It's the sort of mistake I might have made at age 13-14, meaning that the show would probably be aimed at someone that age or lower. Overly enthusiastic, doesn't understand romantic relationships, impulsive, poor reading of boundaries / poor modelling of others outside of certain domains, impulsive in a way that causes social screw-ups? Yeah that could certainly apply to an ADHD kid of about that age.

And all of a sudden the tone of the first five episodes with the gun-fighting, the literal Agent Smith, the decision to place the focus in America, and even the mystery of the series being much simpler than Standalone Complex 2nd Gig's plot regarding Asian refugees in Japan make a lot more sense. This is Ghost in the Shell for kids!

Wow, I didn't think that could be done!

...is what I should say, except that around the time I acquired the ability to futurist shitpost, and I used that ability to predict that it would.

Purin II

The second reading is that the youth of the future are fucked up. She probably has some tricked out modifications, both cybernetic and genetic. Now usually you would tell someone to try to become a well-rounded human being. But...

The global economy has crashed. Batou mistakes her for a robot - creatures that look like pretty young women are a dime a dozen. In the dating market, she would be competing with full sensory immersion VR pornography on the one hand, and at the upper end of society where cybernetics are more widely available, likely women with a similar appearance but decades more experience and professional standing.

Note that in the original Standalone Complex, the team take down an 80-year-old Russian spy with the full prosthetic body of a 20-year-old. Full cyborgs aren't common then, nor are they in SAC_2045 (though cyberbrains are ubiquitous), but if the economy recovers that may change, and the sector she's trying to get in to (full-time salaried government rather than marginal private employment it would seem) is going to be very tough to enter either way.

So Purin may have to be over-optimized even to just appear on the screen. In fact, she says,

"Just so I could work at Section 9, I moved most of my sentimental memories to external storage."

Youch! It's no wonder she's socially maladjusted. Just how much of her social learning (in particular key events necessary to rebuild logical inferences on the boundaries of behavior on the fly) has she locked away?

Purin III

But you know who Purin looks like? Notorious internet personality, Gamer Girl Bath Water seller, and IRL video game character Belle Delphine.[4]

Or rather, it's the other way around - 2D animation compresses real detail into suggestive abstraction, letting your mind fill in the rest. Going from those impossible 2D shapes to 3 dimensions creates strange results, like training your machine learning algorithm on the salient features of a cat's face, applying it to human shape, and putting pink hair on the result. Belle Delphine adopts that otherworldly kind of appearance as part of her act.

Technically, this a stylistic choice. Within the framework of SAC_2045, this is what "a 23-year-old female" looks like.

Purin is in fact so non-threatening that her big red coat obscures her figure. I'm gonna go with younger audience. Now if only I could remember what pronoun she uses.[5/☆]

Motoko

With a full prosthetic body, outward signs of human-like aging are almost an artistic expression, much like in a world with cheap tissue engineering, visible scars are a choice.

When she was first introduced in the original Ghost in the Shell manga, we don't know how old Motoko Kusanagi is. It was once said that her name is analogous to "Jane Excalibur," which in English would be an obvious alias. In the first movie (from 1995), she's cool, almost cold and robotic.

In the original Standalone Complex, Motoko has a more mature personality than in the manga, but she has a clearly adult look by the standards of anime. Seriously, check out this fantastic character design (combat suit), although admittedly the better-known "leather jacket and bathing suit" design is more ridiculous, fashion-wise.[6] (Fortunately, she gets pants in her much more stylish second season outfit.)

ARISE starts off with a young Motoko Kusanagi in a chaotic post-war period before the Section 9 we know was assembled. This shows in her character design, but it really shows in her personality. This was actually why I had joked about an even earlier Ghost in the Shell.

There is a sense in which the 2017 live-action movie's Motoko is even younger. Scarlett Johansson is a killer cyborg with amnesia. She doesn't even have one day of formal combat training.

Motoko 2045

Ilya Kuvshinov designed SAC_2045's Motoko Kusanagi.

Yes, that Ilya Kuvshinov. You could be forgiven for thinking this is a teenager that hardboiled assassins Saitou and Ishikawa in the background have been hired to bodyguard.

Despite this, Atsuko Tanaka has resumed her role as Motoko's voice actress. Standalone Complex's Motoko looked 25 and felt mid-30s. SAC_2045's Motoko looks 16 and has the voice and attitude of 40.

This may make more sense than you might think.

Through Whose Eyes?

Throughout much of Ghost in the Shell as a franchise, Togusa, the only non-cyborg on the team, who is pulled from a police department instead of a military background, tends to be character used to help the people of our time relate to the future. He's the guy that doesn't know the things we also don't know, so in explaining concepts to Togusa they're explained to the audience.

In SAC_2045, most of the team are off doing cool cyborg things in America. Aramaki (whose in-world function is to create the bureaucratic environment within which Section 9 operates) tasks Togusa with finding them. The original Standalone Complex first aired in 2003. It's been 17 years since it was created - a similar situation to finding someone that reached adulthood who was born after 9/11. And during this time, Togusa's life has changed - the family man is now separated from his wife. And the world has changed - Togusa is now working for a private security firm. Togusa's role in the first five episodes isn't to guide the new viewers.

His purpose is to guide or stand-in for the old viewers.

The New Viewers

"Do you still hold a grudge against the Major and the others for leaving you behind?"

For the original viewers, SAC_2045 is your world, too. Togusa is there. Togusa is you.

The new viewers are Purin. Enthusiastic and smart but awkward and not confident in their skills. How could they measure up to these much more talented and experienced characters? (Also consider who is going to watch any sort of Ghost in the Shell - it's probably going to be a moderately bright and introverted kid, who is the kind of person that may be more comfortable socializing with people outside of their age band.)

But Motoko is visually separated from the rest of Section 9. Batou, Saitou, Ishikawa, Boma... they all have a much more adult look in keeping with their appearance in previous versions of Ghost in the Shell. What gives?

Batou is sort of a cool adult male figure - this is actually a pretty natural use of the character and his sense of humor as previously established in other Ghost in the Shell properties. We especially see this come through in 「PIE IN THE SKY - First Bank Robbery」 episode, with the old folks and the 21st century bank robbery.

Motoko's difference in appearance is because she's acting as a bridge between the two. The new viewer (as represented by Purin) is supposed to grow into being like Motoko as they gain confidence and experience. (The characters aren't each limited to a single role, of course.)

But SAC_2045 is still a work that's shared between two groups, similar to how the excellent Into the Spiderverse features both the teenage Miles Morales and an older Peter Parker that has lost his way, with the loss of the vibrant young adult Peter Parker being what starts the plot going.

The Last Quarter

With this framework, the rest of the work should express its nature as targeted at a younger audience itself. Watch the last few episodes through this lens and you'll see how much sense it makes. One takes place at a school. Even the bizarre 3D style that resembles recent video games makes more sense. If we take Togusa's earlier conversation with Aramaki as a discussion of SAC_2045 itself, later on there's even a sort of acknowledgement that Ghost in the Shell is a difficult work for someone of a young age.

So with that context in mind, does it work?

Standalone Complex

If I remember correctly, years ago, when I was perhaps 15 or 16, I was watching a tiny CRT television some time after midnight, and I saw the thirteenth episode of the original Standalone Complex - NOT EQUAL. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. I was immediately taken by it. And, from what I remember, I immediately understood it.

It was as though it were made just for me.[7]

To me, Ghost in the Shell is like a textbook. I thought that as a creator who has reached a place where I am able to be involved in that kind of work, I'm in a position where I have to convey its contents to a younger audience. Well, I knew it would be a lot of work, but I figured it would be my way of giving back to Ghost in the Shell. I thought that I needed to accept the baton and offer Ghost in the Shell to a young audience, to the same degree that Ghost in the Shell raised me to be who I am.

- Tow Ubukata, in a 2015 interview, regarding ARISE

For many people, Ghost in the Shell is a profound influence. I felt that it lifted me to a new level of understanding.

SAC_2045

But what about SAC_2045?

I can't view Ghost in the Shell with new eyes. When I first saw it, I wasn't the kind of person that casually memes futuristic ethical dilemmas as a means of practicing politics.

Compared to the anime I watched back when I was 13, would I have watched SAC_2045? Yes. Is it more philosophically and politically sophisticated? Yes. Would I have found it memorable? I think so.

Would a 13-year these days watch it? That's difficult to assess. I bet someone who does data science for Netflix could tell us, if they wanted. I'm sure Kenji Kamiyama and Shinji Aramaki are considering the same thing.

2017

How does it stack up compared to the rest of the franchise?

For most enthusiasts it's going to be one of the weaker entries, though it certainly does a better job explaining itself than ARISE.

Compare it to 2017's live action movie, however, and I think we'll find it isn't the weakest. The reason is that the writers of Ghost in the Shell (2017) decided to tell a story about bodily consent in which becoming a cyborg is a form of trauma. On some level this may have been a reasonable decision, but they didn't commit to the concept sufficiently fully to execute it well enough to carry the movie - and simultaneously, they dumbed down parts of the regular Ghost in the Shell material for American audiences. As a result the movie flopped both financially and artistically - except for the visuals.

In fact, I wrote a sequence of posts (1, 2, 3, 4) on how to rewrite the live action movie as an actual Ghost in the Shell property. I feel no need to do so for SAC_2045 - and I can't even think of what changes would need to be made.

I look forward to the second season.

-☆☆☆-

[1] It's short, but that's a concept in this post. "Advanced by Left-Wing theorists, Ninth Generation warfare sees all acts as existing on a spectrum of political violence. Most acts of ninth generation warfare consist of extreme pranks."

[2] If we accept the idea of "Fifth-Generation Warfare" as motivated by a desire to prevent the enemy from using their conventional military assets, then a corresponding theory of international politics would involve preventing enemy factions within foreign governments from taking control of those governments' institutions - effectively treating all countries as in continuous level of conflict analogous to a soft civil war.

[3] There is a kind of technique to this, but in my case I substituted ADHD for raw IQ and conscientiousness, which is part of why my posts are so much shorter than, for instance, Moldbug's. In any case, technically, Scott's blog posts on the matter amount to roughly a mere 11,600 words, and the book of the black forest amounts to approximately 26,000 words (which I'm told is entertaining reading), but I'm sure if we go looking we can find an additional 15,000 words worth of worldbuilding from a man known for writing 16,000 word blog posts.

[4] Would it be more of a legal liability to sell regular water with GGBW branding, or actual GGBW that could prove to be a potential health hazard?

[5/☆] There's some future strand lurking beneath the surface here that I can't quite put into words; a culturally divergent moe meltdown where an appearance this ridiculous becomes normalized among some sub-population. To quote the Funko Pop Hatred post,

There are questions about the anatomy of anime people and their internal organs, and particularly about what sort of impact-dampening alien meta-material their softer bits are made out of, but at least homo sapiens gokuensis looks like it’s a branch off a similar starting hominid! Whatever transhuman engineering company was responsible for manufacturing the creatures in the typical harem anime has some weird ideas about human beings, but we’re clearly in their ancient lineage somewhere.

Under Late Safetyism, everyone is a declawed catgirl.

Anyhow, I don't want to alarm you, but I can't guarantee that this won't be the future somewhere. Both Purin and Belle Delphine resemble Xiaoice, "The AI Girlfriend Seducing China's Lonely Men." (2020)

[6] Motoko's ridiculous outfits are a major flex on the non-cyborgs, who aren't indifferent to ambient temperature and whose natural bodies may have unflattering features. Similarly wild fashions can exist in places like Second Life, a 3D digital platform with mostly user-uploaded content. Presumably they're also a flex on every Japanese salaryman who still has to dress like a normal guy.

[7] "It's as though it were made just for me" is also how I feel about the original game Mirror's Edge. Its follow-up, Catalyst, is also a personal favorite of mine.

#miti does media #longpost #flagpost #ghost in the shell #sac_2045 #standalone complex #review

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womanlalaboy · 3 years

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Ceaseman Seizing the Hip hop Scene

The time I spent going to places and meeting people is now the time I devote to binge eating, watching TV series, attending free webinars, and listening to music. I’ve been learning a lot more about our homeland and its people these days. Our rich history shows how much potential Filipinos have, but it’s such a waste that we’re taking that for granted.

We’re a melting pot of talents, and I can’t help but feel disappointed sometimes. Did you know that the first few countries in South East Asia to produce feature films include the Philippines? Oh, and we were the bomb in the industry! Did you know that there was a time when Filipinos were thought to be the best dancers in South East Asia? That we’re considered to be great singers? Oh, and did you know that the Philippines had the first hip hop scene in Asia?

You read that right, the Philippines is sort of a hip hop pioneer in Asia. Currently, we associate hip hop with streetwear, graffiti, MCing, flip top, break dancing, YOLO, swag, and of course, rap music. It’s not always easy to the ears, unlike pop music. It’s deemed to be childish or immature sometimes. But it’s unapologetic, and it continues to impregnate new subsections like trap, lo-fi, drill, and many others. The scene itself is ever-evolving, and so are its artists. Our rappers are collaborating with musicians from other genres and artists of different forms- they are making bigger ripples in the industry or at least in their respective communities. One of these evolving and striving hip hop artists is Ceaseman.

THE ARTIST

Ceaseman is a 26 y/o rapper with a lot of titles under his belt. He recently released an album with 31 tracks, and it doesn’t seem like he’s slowing down any time soon.

The subliminal rapper is a member of the hip hop group Kaustik Route. Apart from that, he’s also a film writer/director. Ceaseman is the founder of PFK Collective, the drummer of a surf rock band called The Chingks, and he also represents GSIDE Records, RESBAK, INGAY LIKHA, and The Toymaker Productions.

Life wasn’t exactly kind to Ceaseman. He’s a first-born child in a very conservative family and was expected to carry the responsibility as the breadwinner. But his father went missing, he was detained and eventually had to drop out. He has gone through failures after severing ties with his band back then in hopes of forming a new one among the many other misfortunes that happened in his life. He has seen and experienced a kind of world, not many people his age would have seen, and it’s evident in his compositions.

The variety of life’s horrors, pleasures, and rewards in his music reflects his life as an artist, as a Filipino, and as a man trying to live his life to its fullest. His comrades, Filipino arts and music scene made him feel the need to give everything he’s got to his craft and dreams.

Ceaseman sees himself as a “revolutionary artist” hoping to send messages through film and his music. He also believes that “that ignorance is a choice in the age of information and technology, “ so it’s expected that most of his songs tackle certain social issues that are particular in the Philippines. His bars aren’t always black and white. The lyrics would seem like provoking you to see different perspectives, which would sometimes require you to listen to it a couple more times.

What’s really amusing is his versatility as a musician. Before he became a rapper, he was first a drummer for a post-hardcore band. He also plays melodica as well as other percussion instruments. Ceaseman definitely has the ears for the beats. His skill for weaving words together developed from being an emcee, which requires someone to be quick-witted, interactive, and creative. Bring his musical inclination, life experiences, critical thinking, collaborative mindset, passion for the arts together with his wordplay and you got a recipe for a good hip hop artist.

THE ALBUM

On the 30th of October this year, Ceaseman released an album entitled “Carpe Omnia” which is currently available on Spotify, Youtube, Amazon, Itunes, Medianet, Tiktok, and other major music stores.

The title means “seize it all” following the theme of its precedent, “Carpe Deym” (carpe diem), which is the Latin translation for “seize the day.” The recently released album has 30 songs with a hidden track only available on the physical copy. The bonus track is in collaboration with two distinct figures in the hip hop scene and was recorded in Tondo, Manila.

Carpe Omnia will definitely take you on a ride with its variety of hip hop subsections. The jazz and lo-fi flavors, as well as the forgotten Tagalog words like ruweda (wheel), galugad (scouring for something), and bagwis (feathers), made the album refreshing and interesting.

Ceaseman said that he wanted to overwhelm the hip hop community and hype up his comrades by releasing this many songs. It’s like a compensation to his 3-year hiatus, which he spent playing as a drummer for Roots and flowers and The Chingks.

“So technically, Carpe Omnia is 3 albums in one for the three years that I should have released a single album per year.“

Among the many songs in the album, Ceaseman particularly likes Bon Vivant, Onis, Avant Garde Bagwis sa Hawla, and the hidden track. I personally loved Bagwis sa Hawla, which I think is the most personal. This sounded like a narration of his life when he was just deciding to pursue his passion, choose himself, and leave their home to take a chance- like the story of most artists who have a family member that doesn’t believe in their passion or dreams. The other songs I keep playing on repeat are Para-paraan, G, J. Crapola, and Ruweda.

THE FUTURE

Despite the pandemic, Ceaseman is planning to release yet another album early next year, which he will be entitling “Carpe Vitam” or “seize the life.”

Ceaseman said that he still has 4 albums worth of content in his creative bank, so there are definitely many possibilities for this young artist. He’s hoping to collaborate more with other artists, especially those that have greatly influenced his music.

It seems like Ceaseman is already claiming 2021 to be his year as he’s planning to do an album tour for Carpe Omnia, and release music videos and a new single along with his comrades from the PFK Collective. Supporters should also expect live hip hop sets with a band real soon.

Even if we don't want to admit it, the standard has always been the Western's in the music industry. With the scope of their influence and the history we've shared with them, we sometimes can't help but work on their shadows. As much as we want to be proud to be Filipinos, to be an independent nation with a culture and history of our own, we can't seem to detach ourselves from the colonial influence. But artists like Ceaseman, who seemed to want to desperately get out of the mold and share as much of himself in his craft, is what's making the Pinoy hip hop scene really ours. Artists like him who strive in their respective fields, though sometimes shunned by their kin or fellow Filipinos, are the very people that are saving the Filipino creative industry. They make it feel as if it's not hopeless at all.

Hip hop is unapologetic, is critical of itself, is flexible, and is resilient- much like us, Filipinos. Pinoy hip hop may not fit the masses' interest like how western hip hop does- it may not be as dominating as K-pop. Still, there are definitely many Filipinos who are passionate about it and have the talent to pursue it. We just got to acknowledge that potential, really see them, and support them. And guess what? We don't need to do much.

We just have to listen and let the beat flow.

#womanlalaboy #tawo #hip hop #ceaseman #carpe omnia #pfk collective #pinoy hiphop #ingay likha #thewritestuff #the write stuff

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amplesalty · 4 years

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Halloween 2020 - Day 1 - The Stand (1994) - Episode 1 The Plague

Gee, an epic post-apocalyptic story about an out of control pandemic. Never heard that one before.

Much as we like to tie the Halloween season to the Christmas one by opening up with a festive horror movie, why not link back to the TV binging that provided some content to this blog earlier in the year by partaking in this mini series? We’re only covering part one here today as this is like four feature length episodes. In a worst case scenario, the rest will serve as backups that I can plug in if I’m having an off day so to help me from falling behind. But ideally they’ll go up once a week on the same day as a standard movie post. You manage to go back to actually doing 31 entries for the first time in donkeys years and it all goes to your head and you suddenly think you can do 34!

This has actually been on my list for quite a while now, we do love a good (or bad) Stephen King adaptation around here and I have a distinct memory of seeing this on TV when I was a kid. I’m guessing it must have played over a few nights over here at some point or maybe over a bank holiday or something? Not that I really remember much in the way of details, just the cornfields and a creepy face which we’ll get on to.

It’s something that’s stuck with me over all these years, I actually got a copy of the book at one point in what must have been the early to mid 2000’s. Still have it actually, I dug it out for the sake of this entry. Seems it’s a version from 1980 from it’s first run as a paperback in the UK. Seems to have a page or two missing near the start in amongst all the copywright business but otherwise it’s in okay shape.

Even has some writing on the first page that I can only make out in parts, one section seems to read ‘an old man beats a mule’. Or perhaps, more pertinently to this story, a mute...

Cover seems a bit dull and non descript compared to the various other ones that have come out over the years. There’s something interesting to this original version with the two figures fighting, very much a literal take on the good versus evil nature of the story with one figure dressed in light colours and the other dark. The dark figure is wielding a scythe which is obviously closely associated with the Grim Reaper. Seems to have some form of beak sticking out of its hood too and the robes and shoes seem to be almost harlequin or jester type clothes?

I wasn’t really expecting much going into it, especially based on the 1990 mini-series of It. I think because of the nature of It being partly set in the 60’s, as well the contemporary portion which just looks very 80’s, gives it this image in my head of being very dated. Outside of a few actors like Tim Curry, John Ritter and Seth Green, there’s not really any notable stars in it either and even though, Green’s notably arguably came much later on. The Stand though? This thing has some names, even if the bigger ones are just small cameos. Amongst the main cast you’ve got Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald and Rob Lowe. Obviously Ringwald isn’t a massive star or anything and is only really known for that string of John Hughes movies in the 80’s but around this time was peak Sinise. He’s not long removed from starring in Of Mice and Men (...and men....and men...) and would have roles in Forrest Gump, Apollo 13 and Ransom in the following years. Plus that big stretch in CSI:NY in the 00’s. But then you’ve got people like Ed Harris and Kathy Bates showing up, albeit briefly but these guys have some clout. I mean, Bates had just won the Academy Award a few years prior for her role in Misery so maybe she felt compelled to do more work under the King umbrella. Even the more minor roles seem like a roll call of ‘hey, it’s you!’ with Ken Jenkins (AKA Bob Kelso from Scrubs), Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and the proprietor of Joe Bob’s Drive In, Joe Bob Briggs.

The landscape of TV feels very different today with actors much more willing to work in the field as it’s taken on much more artistic integrity. The greater availability of shows after they’ve aired, be it through DVR, home media or streaming, has enabled people to watch in far greater numbers. There was a time when the big break was deemed to be making it to Hollywood and starring in motion picture epics but it seems more and more that story tellers are moving away from the relatively cramped 2 hour-ish format of the silver screen to having their vision play out over a long form story and the big name actors are following suit. I feel like things would have been very different back in the early 90’s so to have these names attached.

Seems for a long time there were plans to turn this into a movie, it’s even referred to during a ‘making of’ feature on the blu-ray (pretty much the only feature on there I might add) as a ‘motion picture epic’ but this must have been done way into production so either they were confused or trying to mislead viewers for some reason? Apparently in the early 80’s the idea was for the success of Creepshow to finance production of The Stand but took until the early 90’s for everyone to finally settle on the miniseries.

Very much a big budget affair too for a TV Show, $6m per episode. And it’s needed given the scale of the story, taking place in all these different locations, the special effetcs and with so many characters involved with over 125 speaking roles across the series. It’s definitely a jump up from It, even though that had the two different time periods, it only had a budget of $12m across its two parts compared to the $24m here across four parts.

But to finally address the massive elephant in the room, this story centers around an outbreak of a strain of influenza seemingly created in some shadowy government facility. After something goes awry in the lab, a doomed insider pleads with the guy watching the main gate to seal the facility but he instead piss bolts for his nearby house and hurriedly bundles his wife and child into their car as they make their escape. Everyone else is not nearly as fortunate though as the camera pans the facility, lifeless corpses strewn throughout that have seemingly dropped dead in the middle of their everyday activities, there’s even one guy doubled over on a ping pong table. All of this is set to the sounds of BOC’s Don’t Fear the Reaper and culminates with the image of a crow picking at a doll dropped by the child in the rush out of the front gate. The crow features prominently on the front cover of the blu-ray I have, perched atop of a skull. Though, I know they’re going for the whole post-apocalyptic vibe but what about the superflu is causing the road to burn up and crack like that? The bird also shows up a fair bit throughout the episode, I was going to talk about it being a raven and how such birds are linked with ill omen and death but it’s a crow apparently. Who knew? Not me, I’m no ornithologist. It also seems to be very closely linked with a mysterious figure that is alluded to throughout, a ‘dark man’ or monster.

When the original carrier of the disease makes his way into Arnette, Texas, and crashes into the gas station that Sinise’s character Stu Redman is working at, his dying words are of his efforts to escape from a dark man that was chasing him and that no one can out run him. Maybe in that moment you’d think this is just a state of delirium and he’s speaking oddly poetically about trying to outrun Death himself but as the show goes on, more and more people speak of this dark man, almost as if everyone in the grip of this disease comes to share this vision.

And speaking of visions, we can’t forget Mother Abigail and her cornfields. Both Lowe and Sinise’s characters are whisked away in their dreams to the middle of nowhere where a centurion on her porch warns of them of an ominous future. Think Mama Murphy from Fallout 4 only with much less chem addiction. The only thing Mama Abigail needs is her bread. What is it with King and fields anyway? You’ve got In the Tall Grass, plus the corn fields here and in Children of the Corn. There’s probably more I’m forgetting too. It’s either cornfields, writers in distress or killer ‘whatever I can see in front of me whilst I’m pitching this story’ with this guy.

In a way though it’s good that the show takes this supernatural turn because otherwise this would be a little too on the nose to be watching in this current climate. It’s very eerie to see such similar events play out on screen, starting with the widespread rumours and misinformation. It starts out innocently enough with talk of this so called superflu being downplayed, covered up by the government as an anthrax attack or outbreak of swineflu. I remember back to those more innocent times at the start of the year when COVID was naively dismissed as little more than another flavour of the month disease like the swineflu, sars or ebola that would be here today and gone tomorrow. But then you’ve got things like the sense of paranoia suddenly surrounding a simple cough or sneeze, talks of quarantines, social distancing, the implementation of masks (which one reporter describes as not being able to stop a flu germ with a hangover) to the more disturbing scene of lethal force being used against a TV news crew who refuse to surrender footage they’ve shot of army troops disposing of bodies. Granted, we never got anywhere near that level, I think the worst we had was that guy from CNN getting arrested or that Aussie reporter being pushed over.

They even managed to mirror how universal a pandemic like this is, from the common man to the height of celebrity. One of the characters we’re introduced to is a singer who, whilst he seems to be one of the few lucky to have some immunity, still sees his mother succumb to the virus. Just like we saw with the likes of BoJo or Tom Hanks, it really is a great leveller and, as a wise man once said, ‘You might be a King or a little street sweeper but sooner or later you dance with the Reaper!’. I guess we can take solice that we haven’t quite had the societal collapse that this show manages to pull off in less than a week, with Times Square on fire and a guy running around shooting people like he’s in Falling Down. That’s not to say we wont get there, we seem to be hovering more around general civil disobedience right now with the growing frustration of lockdown and PPE spilling out into protests.

It makes for compelling viewing to see how quickly things break down from simply a man having the sniffles to people being rounded up from their homes and ushered into army vehicles. There’s a lot to take in as the show has to establish the events taking place and introducing it’s multitude of characters so there’s not really much room to breathe. Hopefully episode 2 can relax a little now and give the cast some time to grow. There’s still some standout performances though such as Redman’s growing frustration at being cooped up in a test facility, lashing out at the doctors and nurses coming in in their hazmat suits, prodding and poking him. It would have been nice to see more scenes with him and Dr. Dietz. They have one argument where they nearly come to blows before having a big showdown by the end, with the Doc being one of the last staff members left alive, seemingly crazed by their inability to find any answers in Redman’s tests and he threatens to take his frustrations out on Redman by shooting him. He might be immune to the virus but I bet he’s not immune to a bullet. Dietz starts out with this complete lack of empathy, almost to the point of having a rather cheery deposition considering the circumstances, as he finds some fascination in the speed at which the virus causes death. But he becomes more and more short tempered and threatening as the days wear on and it would have been good to see a more gradual descent.

The aforementioned Ed Harris plays General Starkey overseeing the initial bioweapon project and the fallout of it’s outbreak, perhaps overseeing to a fault as it becomes pretty clear from his ever increasing five o’clock shadow, dishevelled clothing and massive bags under his eyes that he’s slept very sparingly since the initial breach in containment. I think for the entire time we see him, his screen never changes from a shot of one of the cooks at the base of the initial outbreak slumped over, face down in the meal he was preparing. It makes a bit of a change to go from the quite verbal exchanges of Redman and Dietz to Starkey’s physical appearance and facial expressions putting across his mood.

#Halloween 2020 #Stephen King #The Stand

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boredout305 · 4 years

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Eric Friedl/Goner Records Update

Photo by Don Perry

Alongside Zac Ives, Eric Friedl is the co-owner of Goner Records. He also plays in The Oblivians and True Sons of Thunder.

Located in Memphis, Tennessee, Goner operates as both a record label and storefront. Like Shangri-La, Goner Records has been a Memphis institution since the storefront’s opening in 2004. Every year, Goner hosts Gonerfest—a still-vibrant music festival stretching several days. For those outside of Memphis, Goner’s frequently updated online store is a hub for what’s new in esoteric music. The site’s message board is a place to get updates on touring bands, small labels’ releases and anything else music related.

Like countless small businesses, Goner has been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic. The storefront has been closed since March 16. I caught up with Friedl to talk about how Goner’s coping with these changes and what their plans are for the future. Goner is and hopefully will remain an important part of independent music’s infrastructure.

Interview by Ryan Leach

Ryan: How’s everyone at Goner doing?

Eric: We’re good. But like everyone, we’ve fallen into a freefall. Locally, we’ve been doing door deliveries. People have been stopping by to pick up records. We’ve had some success selling online. If we really scale back and don’t spend anything for a minute, we can hang on for a little while. We might have to lay off our staff; have folks go on unemployment. Goner would be reduced to just me and Zac (Ives) as the owners. We could limp through it that way. We’re trying to figure it out.

Ryan: Like most small businesses in America, Goner’s storefront is closed. How are these alternative strategies like doing door deliveries and having folks stop by to pick up records working?

Eric: One of our regulars just can’t stop buying records. He’ll call me up in the morning—I guess he’s unaccustomed to looking at the site—and I’ll tell him what’s come in. He’ll respond, “Oh, man, I’ve got to get that album.” We then pack his records and he comes by to grab them. We’ve delivered a few records off locally. It’s super informal. But every little bit counts. People have been helping out. It’s been great.

Ryan: You had mentioned to me a couple of months ago that you were going to relaunch the Goner website. While the COVID-19 pandemic and economic meltdown have been an unmitigated disaster, it was at least fortuitous timing.

Eric: We were getting ready to launch the site when the coronavirus hit. We wanted to fine-tune it a little more and add some things. But once it became imperative that we be able to sell stuff online, we said, “Screw it. Here it is. We’ll fix it as we go.”

Ryan: I went to buy the Aquarium Blood LP you had recently released and it took me to a Bandcamp site initially.

Eric: (laughs) It really is a matter of working out the kinks as we go.

Ryan: While everyone’s situation has changed, in some ways Goner wasn’t a case of just punching a timeclock. Record stores are hubs and hangouts for people. When Trailer Space closed down in Austin, it was a significant loss.

Eric: It is weird. We definitely weren’t a Trailer Space-style of hangout, but people on their regular circuit would stop by and explore the used bin. On weekends, we had a big crew of normal folks buying classic rock albums. There’s absolutely no way to sell that stuff online. We were stocked for those folks and that side of the business completely died. We had a bunch of really cool events coming up. You feel like you’re right in the middle of things and then you’re isolated. That was sort of my idea with doing these video check-ins. I sent out requests for people to give us video updates. I want to show people that we’re still in this. Facebook just makes us feel like we’re on our own little islands, which we really are now. We’re isolated from one another. It doesn’t have that sense of community that you can get from other places online. We’re just hoping to keep people’s spirits up as we go forward into the unknown.

Ryan: That’s a good point. Used bins are the home of the “five-dollar record,” although I’m unsure what people are selling them for now. You’re not going to sell used copies of David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars or a Led Zeppelin record online. They’re so ubiquitous that it doesn’t make much sense. However, they’re perfect for a store.

Eric: Sure. People would walk in and buy’em. We’ve had people call up and ask, “Do you have this Allman Brothers record? You do. Great, I’ll pick it up.” They can buy it on eBay. They can buy it on Discogs. But because they live locally, they can stop by the shop, purchase it, and listen to it this afternoon. It still works. The store sold a lot of meat-and-potatoes rock ‘n’ roll records. We needed that balance between selling weird, underground rock records and classic rock albums.

Ryan: Byrds, Bread and Toto records all at the same place without the shipping price and wait.

Eric: It’s awesome. There is a little bit of that at the store. Speaking of which, if anyone out there is looking for a Sister Sledge record, we’ve got it! Call us up.

Ryan: Talking about the atomization associated with Facebook—I think of the site’s sort of opposites. Terminal Boredom’s message board was a great place for likeminded people to share ideas about music. The Goner message board, which has been revamped, was a predecessor of sorts to Terminal’s board.

Eric: Yeah. Even for me, it’s frustrating to use the Goner board. It’s such a dinosaur. It kept chugging along for years. We need to tweak it and make it more functional. It’s hard to envision people staying on it now like they used to. But it is there, and it was a big hub for people who were into underground stuff. Terminal Boredom was too. I always felt comfortable reading that stuff up until a point. The squabbles got to be a bit much and I’d lose track of what was going on. Anyway, check out the Goner board!

Ryan: For bedroom record labels like ours (Spacecase), you could sell 15 titles almost right away by going on those boards. And you didn’t need to pay a public relations company a couple grand to do it.

Eric: You were getting your records in front of the right people.

Eric Friedl photo by Mor Fleisher-Leach

Ryan: Beyond COVID-19 and the global economic meltdown, in our milieu we had Apollo Masters burn down a couple months ago. I use Musicol out in Columbus, Ohio, and I know they’re going to be closed for at least a few weeks. Did the Goner label have anything in the works that’s been put on hold?

Eric: The Bloodshot Bill record is done and is supposed to come out on April 10. We’ve got those shipping soon. We did the preorders on that album, so it is in motion—if you get what I mean. We had this Optic Sink record in the works. Optic Sink is Natalie (Hoffmann) from Nots and Ben Bauermeister from the Magic Kids. It’s really cool, electronic stuff. That’s at the digitally mastered stage. The Ar-Kaics record is up there. So is the new Quintron record. We have a choice of getting these lacquers cut and then wait to press. Or we can try to hang tight and wait. I think we’re going to have to wait to minimize expenses right now. They’re all there. I think once we get through this it’s going to be a clusterfuck of people trying to rush through records. But who really knows what’s going to happen? There are all these Record Store Day LPs that supposedly got pressed or are getting pressed.

Ryan: I read that Record Store Day’s date has been pushed back to June 20, 2020. That might be a little optimistic.

Eric: Yeah. It’ll be interesting. It’s another nail in the coffin for trying to sell records. We’re limping along. If we can get our weekend regulars in to pick up records, that’ll help. But this shutdown is going to put a lot of people—obviously, record stores included—out of business. Labels are going to be in trouble too. If you’ve got records scheduled for a Record Store Day release in mid-April, that’s done. That money isn’t coming back until Record Store Day finally happens. The market was already shrinking before all of this hit.

Ryan: You’re still getting new stuff in. Goner’s site is getting updated regularly. What new records have you been listening to?

Eric: We’re trying. It’s going to be hard justifying it going forward. We were really excited to get that Dadamah record (This is Not a Dream) in. I remember it coming out in the early 1990s. That kind of dreamy, New Zealand stuff is what we want to push. However, the hard part is that everyone into that subgenre already knows about it. It’s difficult to get new people into it. We did that Chubby and the Gang record (“All Along the Uxbridge Road” 7”). That was a street punk-type of chugger. We sold a bunch of records for them. Alec (McIntyre) and Cole (Wheeler) at the shop were really into it. So, we gave it a shot. That’s been interesting—getting into the American Oi!-type stuff. We were trying to put some more of that material out when everything ground to a halt. It’s not really my scene, but it’s been interesting weeding through all of this stuff and going, “Oh, yeah, this is pretty good.” Currently, I’ve been trying to find music for the kids at home that they’ll find palatable. They’re playing really crappy stuff. It’s a constant battle. They like songs from cartoons.

Ryan: I bought that recent Exek record (Some Beautiful Species Left) off the Goner site. It was great. It had a real Neu! and Tuxedomoon feel to it.

Eric: That’s a great record. I appreciate that.

Ryan: It’ll be difficult getting inventory. Just thinking about it now—Revolver (Distribution) is closed for at least another couple of weeks.

Eric: Yep. Because all of the distributors and stores are closing, it drives the people who want those records straight to the labels. It’s bad for the stores, good for the labels. We’re a store and a label, so we kind of benefit. But it takes away from having a centralized place to buy records. Which is fine, but it’s something else to worry about down the line.

Ryan: I always looked at our (Spacecase’s) relationship with Goner as symbiotic. I always knew you were going to buy our releases. The Goner store has enabled us to kick the can down the road for a couple extra years.

Eric: For sure.

Ryan: Any closing thoughts, Eric?

Eric: We’re just another small business caught up in total economic collapse. We’re lucky in the sense that we have a pretty loyal customer base. It’s awesome. But in the end we’re very vulnerable. We have to make tough decisions on how to move forward and keep it going. We’ve always had to do that. It’s just that right now it’s so dramatic. You screw up, you’re done. It’s really heavy. At the same time, we’re not going down without a fight. We’ll see what models develop. If we can get through this—if it’s not too long—we’ll make it. If not, everyone’s going to get wiped out. But we’ll see.

Website: goner-records.com

Gonerfest photo courtesy of Eric Friedl

#eric friedl #goner records #interviews #memphis

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tar-oh · 4 years

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Daily Cards: Blue Moon, Full Moon in Pisces, King of Cups, Two of Cups, lyrics from Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks by The National and Dear April by Frank Ocean

I guess there was a lot to say today, since two cards for each fell out!

Wow. I really didn’t think this was going to come up today, but I honestly think this is a love reading. Literally everything about this points towards someone receiving an offer, and it’s most likely love judging by how many watery cards I pulled. Everything seemed to just want to fall out today, and most days I’m worried it’s meant for me, but seeing that I have no love interests (at least ones in a position where they could say something, but honestly this is not about Sara’s issues today lol) I have to assume I’m definitely reading for someone else!

We’ll start with the tarot, especially since I pulled some more cards to clarify this, but I don’t have them pictured above. The cups suit is the suit that’s all about emotions. The King of Cups is someone who is balanced emotionally. In terms of characters of the tarot deck, he’s probably who most would want in a lover (though, I’m not opposed to the King of Pentacles or the King of Swords personally, but to each their own). At first, I was thinking it had more to do with you finding a way to balance your own emotions, until I flipped over the two of cups. Two of Cups is considered one of those love cards that when people see it, they’re instantly like “Oh, someone wants to give you their cup of love!” In the Rider-Waite deck, it’s a picture of a woman handing a cup to a man who is already holding a cup, so one could read this card as an offering of love. Though, in the deck I used right now, it lacks people, so I’m not going to say that this is why I think you’ll receive an offer. It was the moon cards that definitely sealed the deal for me, but first the clarifiers I pulled: The Chariot reversed and 6 of Cups. 6 of cups is a card that is often interpreted as someone from your past coming back. Though, it could mean a past life (and with 2 of cups, I don’t think I’d be surprised. Also, the moon cards add to this idea too). The Chariot was reversed, and one of the things it can mean when reversed is self-doubt. I see this as going two ways: either you’re doubting that you’re deserving of this offer, or this person coming towards you is not feeling as confident as they’d like about their offer.

For those of you who aren’t looking for a love offer, it could just be a newfound sense of self-worth. Maybe you haven’t been feeling so great about yourself. Or, maybe your emotions have been all over the place. These cards say that you’ll be able to find balance in the emotions, or a way to stop doubting your own self-worth. The moon cards were interesting to me, since all week I’ve been having issues getting any to fall out while I’m shuffling. When I do daily readings, I try not to pull cards. I normally just let things fall out, and sometimes it takes a few times to get one to fall out while shuffling. Today, this didn’t take as many as usual, and two fell out. The Blue Moon card hints that you need to “believe in the impossible”, even going as far as to bring up that quote about Blue Moons, “Once in a blue moon.” It says that you may receive an opportunity that is a once in a life time opportunity (that love offer, perhaps?). This card urges you to believe that things will go in your favor. Full Moon in Pisces is kind of similar, in that the situation is sort of a dreamy one (once in a lifetime), but does point out that Pisces is the last sign in the zodiac, so it brings about endings. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, if anything this just suggests that whatever this offer is, it’s going to change everything. And, the past few days’ readings have really hinted at letting go of things so that you can make room for the new. So, I think it’s kind of interesting that this card fell out and that in the booklet it really makes a point to explain that it can be about endings. Both cards, if inquiring about a person, hint that they’re a soulmate. The Blue Moon card says this person is rare, and Full Moon in Pisces says it’s a soulmate. I’ve heard both six of cups and two of cups be referred to as “soulmate” cards. I think this is extremely interesting, because I have 4 cards here hinting at soulmate connections. You guys, when I first got the first two tarot cards, I got so excited! I really think someone has met someone who may be your soulmate! That is, if you believe in it. If not, this could be someone that you just click with really well. Like you’ve known them forever, even if you’ve only met a few months before. It was so weird that I got excited, because I hadn’t even gotten any other cards yet, but I just had this feeling!

The lyrics are a little less enthusiastic, but still not bad! The lyrics from The National’s Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks goes like this: “All the very best of us string ourselves up for love”. This part of the song always stuck out to me. I don’t listen to it too much (you can tell because I completely forgot to write Geeks on the card lmao). I feel like there’s a few different interpretations for this line. The first being that sometimes we’d do anything for love, even change ourselves. Another being that some of us even feel that love is a be-all, end-all thing. I know this doesn’t sound nice, especially since I just said it seemed like maybe an offer from a soulmate could be coming in. But, I think this is telling you that, you don’t have to change who you are to be loved. Whoever is coming in, loves you for you. It’s so interesting to me that I pulled a song by The National for this too, since, as I’ve stated a few days ago, I’ve got some theories about soulmates and them. It’s almost as if the universe is saying, “Wait, no! Tell us!” But I don’t really want to ramble on some more. I would be freaking out if I’d pulled the the songs I associate soulmates with The National, but I still find this pretty funny.

The other song, Dear April by Frank Ocean is a lovely, soft song. It was put onto streaming services during this past April, amid the pandemic. Though, I guess he’d already had this song written before all of this. Anyway, I’m sure it just made a lot of sense to release it when he did, because it does go eerily well with what was happening at the time. The only reason I even listened to it was this very lyric. I saw it somewhere and it made me feel warm. I don’t know, has a song ever made you feel that way? That’s why there are so many songs by The National in my lyric deck. To me, they’re equivalent with a warm blanket on a cold night! And this song is similar to that feeling I get. The line goes: “But you will make something new and it’ll take you through this.” I feel like it seems to heavily imply a hard situation, but I think this could also be applied to a new relationship.

In terms of who this person could be? That is a little hard for me, since I’m still learning the cards. We can say that they may be from your past with the 6 of cups. The King of Cups has some luscious locks of hair, so maybe this person has hair around that length, or even unnaturally colored hair, like that pretty green color. In terms of cards and their astrological equivalents, we have ALL water cards. I’m leaning more towards Pisces or Cancer, but they could be Scorpios, too. I don’t really like saying these signs as a fact, though. One could be a Pisces, but have several different placements in their chart, so they could show up as any of them. I personally have mostly Libra, Capricorn and Scorpio placements, so really! It can be a mixed bag. Plus, I think people can also embody different energies at different times! in my personal readings, lately, I’ve been coming up as wands, which are equivalent to fire signs, but I have no fire signs in my chart! So, that’s just one example. I think whoever this is, they’re currently super emotional about the whole situation right now. Or, it could just be about you needing to balance your own emotions about something (or someone). The Full Moon in Pisces card suggests mediation. I feel like a broken record at this point, since almost all the cards in that deck suggest it. But I think it just really shows how helpful it can be, especially when trying to figure out your emotions.

Let me know if this resonated and if you do receive an offer!

#tarot #daily readings #it almost felt like the readings this week were leading up to this!#im so excited about this one! I can't wait to see if this actually happens for someone!

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gduncan969 · 3 years

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Practical Love

John 21: 15 -17 15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Feed My lambs.”

16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My sheep.”

17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.

Two weeks ago I officiated at my granddaughter, Gillian’s marriage to her fiancé, Mark, joining them in the “holy bond of matrimony” as my minister’s service book describes it. The essential part of any wedding service—“Do you take this woman/this man...repeat after me, I take thee...I now pronounce you husband and wife”—takes all of about ten minutes so there’s ample time for the minister to spend a few moments speaking to everyone in attendance about what a Christian marriage is and more importantly, the gospel message that is its foundation. Wedding services are typically attended by some who may never have heard the gospel or may have become lukewarm to its life-changing message, so it presents a welcome opportunity to tell them how God loves them and has made provision for them to become His through the death and resurrection of His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. But how do you fit that into a marriage ceremony that can be completed in under ten minutes? The mother of the bride (my daughter) told me I had ten minutes to preach but no more. My reaction was that “sermonettes” are for “Christianettes” and I have no time for either so I spent some time pondering what I would say and how short I would take to say it. Here are some of my thoughts.

God’s Reason For Marriage

Christian marriage is a commitment before God to love another person so intently and so intensely that you become one with them for the rest of your life. Both Matthew and Mark record the words of Jesus who said about marriage: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:7). Most Christians, whether married or single, are familiar with this scripture but if you ask them what’s the reason Jesus is referring to i.e. what’s the reason a man will leave his father and mother, they are uncertain how to answer and that uncertainty is one of the reasons why so many married Christians end up in the divorce courts today. Marriage in this “enlightened” society we now live in has been degraded to an agreement between two people of the same or opposite sex to live together as long as they both shall love and the promises they make to each other are to be kept as long as they both agree to keep them. Is it any wonder that more than half of all couples live together before marriage and most of those never get around to marrying anyway because it is an institution that binds people legally to each other for no purpose other than to make it expensive to separate, so why bother. The “reason” Jesus was referring to in Matthew and Mark is found right at the beginning of the bible in Genesis 2: 21 -24.

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.

22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”

24 Therefore (FOR THIS REASON—added) a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

My guess is that Adam took one look at Eve and immediately said, “Wow! She’s mine. She was taken out of me and I want her back where she belongs.” I’m also sure Eve was googly-eyed by what she heard him say and how he said it. (A Christian medical doctor once explained to me that men are aroused by what they see and women by what they hear—a lesson husbands and wives should pay attention to. It also explains why the current pandemic of pornography affects almost entirely men). Now, there’s much more to Christian marriage than physical attraction so what do you tell a young couple about to be married about how to love each other? The apostle Paul puts it this way: (Ephesians 2:25-28, 33)

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,

27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Practical Love

The above verses instruct all married couples to love one another but what does that mean in practical terms. The English word “love” is so broad in meaning that it has to be connected to the object to be loved before we can get a sense of what it means to say I love something or someone. I love bananas; I love golf; I love my dog; I love my cottage by the lake; I love my wife and kids; in every case the object being loved is needed to explain what kind of love we are talking about but this is where things get can get tricky for newlyweds (and a lot of oldweds too)! When we describe the love young couples have for each other, we think in terms of Romance—a word rooted in the days of chivalry when knights of old treated the ladies with all the respect and decorum they deserve. Romantic love is brim-full of the affection each has for the other but there’s a lot more to practical (biblical) love than affection and the difference is found in the conversation Jesus had with Peter after He had been raised from the dead.

The verses from John 21:15-17 at the beginning of this article show Jesus asking Peter three times, “Do you Love me?” but it doesn’t explain why he asks. Considering that Jesus had just risen from the dead and appeared to the disciples a few times, we might guess the first time Jesus appeared to Peter (John 20:19) it must surely have caused Peter some very anxious moments. Here was Jesus alive in the flesh a few days after he had denied Him three times in the garden (John 18: 17, 25, 26) and worse still, it says in Matthew 26:72, Peter denied him with cursing! I’m sure when Jesus appeared in their midst the first time, Peter looked around for a hole to crawl into. So, it is understandable that Peter would be feeling very awkward when Jesus asked him three times, “Do you love me?”. “Is Jesus still angry with me for denying Him with curses, does He still doubt that I love Him?” he must have thought, so three times he reassures Jesus that he loves Him while struggling with why Jesus was questioning him. Was Jesus being a little sadistic and cruel, maybe trying to get His own back on the traitor who cursed Him? Of course not! That’s as far as the east is from the west in Jesus’ nature.

Jesus was teaching Peter a lesson about practical love and it’s a lesson for all young newlyweds and the rest of us too. To explain this, we need to get around the vagueness of the English word “Love”. The first time Jesus asked Peter (verse 15), “Do you love me..” he uses the Greek word Agape—“Peter, do you agape me?” Agape love is sacrificial love where you love someone enough to lay down your life for them even when they don’t deserve it and it expects no reward for doing so! Agape love is always associated with action. Peter doesn’t get the message and responds with, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you” but his word for love is phileo—meaning great affection. “Yes, Lord, you know that you are very dear to me and I have the greatest affection for you,” to which Jesus responds “Feed my lambs”, a response which seems somehow disconnected from the matter in hand—does Peter love Jesus? Verse 16 repeats the whole process and Peter still doesn’t get the message because he’s still thinking Jesus doubts what great affection Peter has for Him. Once again, the Lord responds with “Feed my sheep”. Verse 17 repeats the whole process for the third time but with one important change: Jesus asks the third time, “Peter do you Phileo me?” (essentially asking “Peter are we still friends?”) and Peter responds as before but now he’s really upset because it’s becoming obvious to him that Jesus doesn’t believe him. But once again, Jesus responds with His seemingly disconnected request, ”Feed my sheep”.

What’s going on here and what does it say to newlyweds and the rest of us? It is this: JESUS IS VERY PLEASED THAT WE HAVE GREAT AFFECTION FOR HIM BUT IF WE REALLY WANT TO LOVE HIM, GET OUT THERE IN THE DIRT AND SQUALOR AND DAILY GRIND AND FEED HIS SHEEP! Feeling great affection for Him is not enough unless it motivates us to do the work he has called us to do. For newlyweds, having great affection for each other won’t be enough later on when the baby’s diaper is full and it’s not your turn to change it but you’re the only one around! Great affection may not cover a husband who won’t lower the toilet seat and it won’t cover a cheating husband who is found out and repentant. Our affections are very much tied to our emotions and emotions can be very fickle when crises come—and come they will! Jesus wanted Peter (and the rest of us) to understand that we can only really love Him by feeding His sheep and doing that means living for others no matter how we feel. As a pastor, I was once asked what’s the worst thing about being a pastor? With tongue in cheek I answered: “having to work with Christians!” On some days, my tongue would not have been in my cheek because Christians as a group can be some of the most cantankerous you will ever meet but then again, they are also the most loving. For all those who say they love Jesus, who say they believe in Him, who sing His praises and read his bible but fail to ACT on His behalf, they are among those of whom the Lord speaks in Matthew 15:8 “These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me.” Remember the ten lepers Jesus healed and how only one returned to give thanks. Ten were healed but only one was saved. The other nine no doubt thought very highly of Him and perhaps had great affection for Him but it didn’t produce any works for Him. James puts it more succinctly in James 2:20 “..faith without works is dead”.

All of us who seek to follow the Lord Jesus because we love Him must accept the challenge that loving Him brings. There is a great malaise in the western Church today, beautifully explained in the book by Mark Buchanan “Your Church Is Too Safe” (Zondervan 2012) where he details how we have slid into the morass of self-interest and a “feel-good” mentality which largely excludes sacrificial (agape) love and stays clear of the dirt and squalor in much of modern life. Our churches are, indeed, too safe but that makes them only more lifeless. Another pastor friend once explained that a church can either be a morgue where everything is neat and tidy and in place but dead or it can be an emergency ward where the floor and walls are blood-spattered but the room is full of action, full of life. Which one do you belong to?

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weekendwarriorblog · 3 years

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The Weekend Warrior 7/9/21 - BLACK WIDOW, SUMMERTIME, THE LONELIEST WHALE and More

Well, well... It certainly looks like I’ve been given a bit of a “bye week” to recuperate and recover from all the insanity of June, huh? The 4th of July weekend saw a nice boon for Universal Pictures with the top 3, although The Boss Baby: Family Business ended up doing better than The Forever Purge despite the former also being on Peacock. But neither of them really got great reviews, so I’m not sure either of them will have much impact on this week’s big release…

BLACK WIDOW (Marvel Studios/Disney)!

Yes, after nearly two years, Marvel Studios is back in theaters with the long-awaited solo movie for Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha Romanoff, who has appeared in the movies going back to Iron Man 2, also played a key role in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, as well as three of the Avengers movies. The Black Widow movie goes back in time to after the events of Captain America: Civil War and before (SPOILER!) Romanoff was killed in Avengers: Infinity War. This one reunites her with her family including Florence Pugh as her sister Yelena, as the two of them want to take down the Red Room where they were trained to be killers. It also stars David Harbour as the Red Guardian and Rachel Weisz as their maternal figure, and honestly, you probably don’t even need that much to know that you probably already want to see it, because IT’S MARVEL!

It’s actually hard to believe that Black Widow is Marvel’s first theatrical release since 2019’s Spider-Man: Far From Home, and obviously, that wasn’t supposed to be how things went. Marvel’s original release date for the movie was kicking off the summer of 2020, but when COVID hit and theaters were closed, it was delayed, first until the end of the year and then until the summer of 2021. It must have been difficult because Marvel had already planned a series of television series that led into the movies, including Wandavision, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, and the currently-airing Loki.

Marvel’s first theatrical release in two years currently has a relatively decent 82% on Rotten Tomatoes, which for comparison’s sake is a better rating than Captain Marvel and Avengers: Age of Ultron, but that’s about it. I mean, at least it’s not stinking up Marvel’s track record like Iron Fist and The Inhumans did, so there’s that. I’ve already reviewed the movie, so you can read what I thought about it here.

More important than any other factor, there’s the Disney+ in the room, because Disney decided to offer Black Widow for a Premium on its streaming service this Friday, basically for $30, which I’m not sure if that’s for a certain amount of time or to own (which would make more sense). That’s a pretty sweet deal if you have a family and a nice home theater, because taking them all to the movies might cost $100 or more with concessions, etc. But for a lot of people, it’s long past time to get back to theaters, and despite the success of the Disney+ shows, many will want to see this on the big screen. At least that’s my theory, and I’m gonna stick with it until I’m proven wrong when numbers come in on Friday or Saturday.

It’s very hard to determine how many of the millions of people who went to see Avengers: Endgame over two years ago are ready to get back into theaters, but one benefit that Black Widow has over other upcoming Marvel movies (okay, well, Shang-Chi) is that Johansson’s character is a known commodity from previous movies, which certainly could have helped Tom Holland’s solo Spider-Man movies, although you would think that Spider-Man: Far from Home would have opened bigger following Endgame. To be fair, the Spider-Man movies were opening with over $100 million WELL before the MCU, showing the popularity of the character, although we also could see a bump with the second Captain America and Thor movies after their appearance in 2012’s The Avengers. Oddly, 2018’s Ant-Man and the Wasp didn’t see nearly as big an opening bump following Avengers: Infinity War from the first movie, but Ant-Man hadn’t been as big a player as Natasha/Black Widow. Oddly, the Spider-Man and Ant-Man movies have something in common -- they both opened in July vs. May.

The other factor, of course, is COVID and whether a movie can open even bigger than the $70 million opening weekend of F9, currently the biggest post-pandemic opener. If anything is going to do it, then it’s going to be a Marvel movie, especially one that should be as big a draw for women as for men. No, we don’t subscribe to the myth that female-led action movies don’t do as well as males ones. The MCU is all about the characters and the universe, and those factors should help Black Widow should be good for somewhere around $80 to 85 million over the weekend, which will make it the new barometer for the post-pandemic. (Incidentally, this is only about $11 million less than my original prediction from last March, and that didn’t have the COVID or streaming factor in play.)

Hey, you know what I haven’t done in a long time but probably should resume?

MY TOP 10 BOX OFFICE PREDICTIONS!

1. Black Widow (Marvel/Disney) - $84.3 million N/A

2. F9 (Universal) - $9.6 million -58%

3. The Boss Baby: Family Business (Universal/DreamWorks Animation) - $9 million -45%

4. The Forever Purge (Universal) - $5.7 million -54%

5. A Quiet Place Part II (Paramount) - $2.2 million -45%

6. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard (Lionsgate) - $1.4 million -55%

7. Cruella (Disney) - $1.3 million -47%

8. Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway (Sony) - $1.2 million -42%

9. The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (New Line/WB) - $600k -57%

10. In the Heights (New Line/WB) - $550k -43%

Although one can expect big drops all around, this should be another weekend where the top 10 domestic grosses $100 million, but that’s kind of a given with Black Widow likely to make much of that itself.

I guess this week’s “Chosen One” is SUMMERTIME (Good Deed Entertainment), directed by Carlos Lopez Estrada (Blindspotting, Raya and the Last Dragon), which is a pseudo-doc, pseudo-narrative that follows 27 Angelino poets in a typical day in Los Angeles. I’m not really a poetry or spoken word fan so much, but the way that these talented poets are showcased, each in their own compelling segment. While having some kind of interconnecting story might not have been necessary, it’s actually what keeps you invested as you go from one situation and style of poetry onto the next. You can tell that there are some real stars of the future in this that will likely appear elsewhere. There are just so many great numbers from Tyris Winter complaining abut the price of food at a restaurant, Mila Cuda expressing her sexuality on the bus to an obvious homophobe, a couple at a marriage counselor relaying their issues through song and rap, an amazing dance number, and so much more. My favorite running storyline was the one involving street rappers Anewbys (Bryce Banks) and Rah (Austin Antoine), who are trying to make it. The incidental music is great, and the performances are embellished with cinema verité style shots of L.A. that really helps enhance the mood and set the environment for the story being told. It’s hard to call Summertime a musical, but there’s so much great rhymes and music that it just has a great youthful energy that seems so perfect for this time of the year.

You can read my interview with Estrada over at Below the Line later today.

Streaming now on Disney+ is the first episode of the new Pixar series Monsters at Work, based on the characters from one of my favorite Pixar movies, Monsters Inc., with new episodes airing every Wednesday.

Joshua (Cropsy) Zeman’s doc THE LONELIEST WHALE: THE SEARCH FOR 52 (Bleecker Street), exec. produced by Leonardo DiCaprio hits theaters on Friday and then will be on digital July 16. Oddly, it’s the second movie in the last month about whales. This one is about the search for the 52 Hertz Whale that was discovered in 1989 and has become a global sensation as it lives in solitude, emitting a different frequency from other whales and therefore unable to communicate.

I have to admit that I was quite cynical about this movie, mainly because it looked like it could potentially be boring, as we watch and listen to a bunch of oceanographers talking about whales, and I was mostly right. Zeman himself is not the most interesting subject or narrator for his own doc, so that doesn’t help much either. Essentially, the entire movie is this group of rag-tag oceanographers (as well as a musician who plays clarinet with the whales -- yeah, he should be thrown overboard first, I’m thinking) looking for this elusive whale that no one has seen since 1989. As you can imagine, it’s a fairly fruitless expedition that makes you miss the excitement of Ron Howard’s whale movie, but if you’re just watching this to see beautiful whales in their natural habitat, the movie does deliver. I’m sure the less cynical than myself will find more interesting aspects of the film to enjoy, and yes, this is a far superior film to the recent Fathom, but it also shares lots of potentially interesting facts about whales and their history, which doesn’t make it a complete loss.

I have to imagine that The Loneliest Whale should be appreciated as a fine nature doc if you’re into this sort of thing, but if you’re looking for something particularly groundbreaking or moving, you’ll have to search elsewhere.

Judd Ehrlich’s doc THE PRICE OF FREEDOM (Tribeca Studios) takes on the gun debate and how the National Rifle Association has divided the nation and cost countless lives along the way. The movie features the likes of President Bill Clinton, activist (and Parkland survivor) X Gonzalez, Senator Chris Murphy, Representatives Jason Crow and Lucy McBath, and many more on both sides of the gun debate.

Also opening on Friday in theaters and virtual cinema is the Tunisian horror film DACHRA (Dekanalog), written and directed by Abdelhamid Bouchnak, which follows three journalism students as they investigate a cold case which takes them deep into the woods.

Netflix launched its “Fear Street” franchise last week based on the book series by R.L. Stine, and this week, the second movie, FEAR STREET PART 2: 1978 (Netflix), debuts on the streamer. I’ve actually seen Fear Street Part 1: 1994, and it’s a fun little slasher set in the town of Shadyside, the “Killer Capitol of the USA.” I honestly had no idea these were Rated R, since I thought it was more of a young adult type thing, but it’s really straight-up Wes Craven Scream. I might have to check out some of these books, but the first movie was quite enjoyable even if they generally seem derivative of other slashers.

Also, Eytan Fox’s Sublet, which has been playing in select theaters will now be available to Watch At Home via Apple TV, Prime Video, Vudu, FandangoNOW, Google Play, YouTube and DIRECTV. Also, Ivan Kavanagh’s horror film, Son, will be on Shudder this Thursday so if you missed it in theaters and VOD, now’s your chance to see it, and you can read my interview with Mr. Kavanagh over at Below the Line.

Oh, and TONIGHT at the Metrograph, as part of their Live Screening Series, they’ll be showing Rashaad Ernesto Green’s Gun Hill Road (2011) as part of their FIrst Film Series with the Green Brothers, which will be followed next week by the first film from his brother, Reinaldo Marcus Green.

And that, my friends, is it for this week! Next week, we have SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY from Warner Bros., and that’s about it! (Well, there will be a lot more limited releases, as well a Emmy nominations, so back to the grind!)

#The Weekend Warrior #Movies #Reviews #BlackWidow #Black Widow #BOx Office #Summertime

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hangonimevolving · 4 years

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The Iron String.

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.”

--Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance

Here we are. It's August. Five months plus since the start of the U.S. pandemic, lockdowns, and general disruption to society. Over 5.26 million confirmed cases in the United States alone to date, and 167,000 deaths. Our world around us has changed.

Much of the last two months of summer for me were spent in an agonizing holding pattern concerning the almighty School Question. What would happen in the fall? Would schools be reopening? If so, how would that look - would we just act like life is normal, or would there be modifications to help prevent transmission of the virus? If so, what on earth modifications are even possible for young children that are reasonable, and to which little kids can even feasibly adhere given their ages and needs? If it proves too difficult to reopen schools, what would be the plan? Would there be some sort of virtual learning program, and how would it differ from the shifts that happened this past spring, with teachers scrambling to educate themselves on distance-learning technologies and teleconferencing utilities in order to teach a room full of kindergartners on Zoom? Surely, with several months to ponder the possibilities and plan for vairous contingencies, schools would be more prepared with better, more structured and thought-out plans for fall, than what they had in the spring... right?

Er, wrong. WRONG. The short version of how this situation ended, at least in our geographic area, is that the public school system (and my own kids' small, family-owned private school) made the decision to reopen to face-to-face teaching by the middle of July. Late in the game, both also hastily threw together a virtual option for students - but the virtual option was tantamount to a continuation of the fly-by-night Zoom teaching that had been put into effect at the very start of the lockdown.

I for one was entirely disappointed and disgusted with this. With SO much time to plan, this is really the best that could be done?! Bruh, NAW. I wasn't having it.

So blah blah blah, hem, haw, blah. Research, research, research. Reading, millions of review websites, forums, blogs, legal defense funds, Department of Education website, nonprofits, clubs and associations and collectives.... a phone call with an old friend from high school with over 10+ years experience, and a series of long and informative text message exchanges with two other friends, one a veteran with over 15+ years with three now-adult children, another a mom about my age of children about my kids' ages, facing this situation just like me and working through options just like me...... and, after all this, I knew exactly what I would be doing. What WE would be doing, in our family.

By June 13, it was official, and it was all systems go.

Ladies and gentlemen.... I am officially a homeschooling mom. Like, a LEGIT homeschooling mom. As in, I am doing a 100% parent-led homeschooling curriculum plan, FULL-time, with my two children.

I won't lie. In a million, bajillion, baskillion years, I don't think I ever intended to find myself in this place. I'll also say with honesty, that I have admired from afar the rare few homeschooling families that I somewhat know, and the flexibility and creativity with which they approach academics and learning in general.

I have also been increasingly dissatisfied and frustrated with the academic progress of my own children... Dr. Spouse and I have had long discussions where we've tried to speculate on the things that we haven't been satisfied about in our kids' schooling. The list has been long. But even as we were able to identify specific shortcomings in our children's particular educational environment, I've felt a rising sensation of control-freakism and bootstrapism in my chest, that has whispered to my conscience: "if you feel something is wrong here, don't sit around waiting for someone else to fix it. And, when you articulate your concerns in a constructive, non-threatening, but clear way, and people have smiled and nodded and claimed they'd follow up on those items, but in the end, they havent taken those concerns seriously - then it is time to man the f&* up and TAKE CARE OF THAT SHIT yourself. Because YOU are the only one you can trust. YOU are the only one who can do it right, in your own view. So either do it, or stop feeling dissatisfied about it."

So here it is. Our original plan, prior to the pandemic, was to switch the kids to the local (A-rated) public elementary school for this coming year. We had hoped that a change in environment, teachers, and the accountability of being a reputed school in the public school system, would mean more organization and oversight, and that hopefully this would translate into better academic progress in our kids.... but the pandemic changed all our plans, and besides, I don't know if more "in theory..." type things ever really translate to palpable, effective change at the individual level (at least not for me anyway, I never have such luck).

Rather than seeing this weird, surreal circumstance has having forced me into the homeschooling decision (which, maybe it sort of did) - - for reasons I can't explain, I dove headlong into it, with great excitement and hope. I can't really figure out how I have been as enthusiastic or jazzed about it as I have been - - but lookie, I'm jazzed! Seriously. From the moment we made the decision to do it, I felt like a 1,000-lb. weight was lifted from my chest. No more feeling anxious or on the edge of my seat about decisions that are being made outside of my control. In this matter - I stopped waiting for other poeple, and I TOOK CONTROL. For my own kids, anyway.

I'll write a detailed post at a later time about some of the particulars of the homeschooling plan that I am using, the research I did, the materials I ended up purchasing, the knowledge and insight I required while in the preparations phase, and other stuff. But, for now - I've droned on long enough. I'm gonna share some pictures now.

To bring it back to the start of this post - - with this homeschooling plan, I have found my iron string. I literally felt this resounding, reverberating sense of CONFIDENCE the moment that I decided to do this, and effectively brought Dr. Spouse on board. NEVER, in my life, have I felt so right about a decision. I feel a tremendous inner harmony about it - like I've come home to myself, if that's not too weird to say.

Sooo.... here are pictures of Week 1 of our great homeschooling adventure.

Obligatory "First Day of School" picture....

Our newly-tweaked home office - - now serving as our homeschooling classroom!

Particularly proud of our new training clock, our large-format calendar, and the "today's date/weather" board that I made with vinyl die-cuts from my Cricut, some chalkboard-surface Contact paper, and some rainbow sparkly duct tape :)

Spanish class: kids use a fun new app for two class sessions a week

Dey working on simple addition/subtraction with Teddy Bear Counters

Dey slaying his worksheets in Handwriting class - we're doing both print letters and cursive

Vev learning to tell time, and to recognize and convey the time in both analog and digital notation

After reading several history textbook chapters on the origins, diets, nomadic lifestyles, housing practices, and modes of dress among prehistoric humankind - we did a "History in action" lesson where the kids were given 10 minutes to construct a shelter out of a "mammoth skin" (blanket), "two tree branches" (pool noodles), and several large "rocks" (throw pillows). They didn't need the full 10 minutes :)

Vev enjoying one of his first chapter books - an "I Can Read" reader during a Language Arts learning block

After a week reading science textbook chapters about the earth's atmosphere, we conducted science experiments to better understand the properties of air! The boys had a "paper race" using construction paper and pieces of cardboard as fans, to race two paper structures across a finish line. They discussed their expectations and each articulated a hypothesis about which paper would travel faster, prior to conducting the experiment; afterwards, we determined whether our "guesses" (hypothesis) were accepted or rejected :)

This is just a smattering. There's been so much, and in only four days. I can't believe how much we are able to learn and cover in our homeschooling time. And the crazy thing is, we are able to do Phonics and Grammar, Reading, History, Read-aloud time, Math, Spanish, Handwriting, and Science in only about 3 hours per day. We integrate things like art, movement, current events, and practical life skills into pretty much everything we do, but on occasion we are even able to do a discrete, planned-out period of time for these topics too.

The iron string is taut, and secured in its proper place. We are ready for it to guide us through this school year.

#homeschooling #Vev #Dey #quarantinelife

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sinrau · 4 years

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(CNN) Ever since the coronavirus began its deadly march through the US, Donald Trump has been accused of lacking the empathy presidents typically draw on to lead and soothe a nation in crisis.

This week the question of presidential compassion was a consistent storyline.

You could pick your lyrics: Was the President like the Tin Man from the “Wizard of Oz,” plaintively singing, “If I only had a heart.” Or was he suffering from, as the 80s hit song put it, “a total eclipse of the heart”?

We saw a President who slammed the Supreme Court for blocking his effort to subject 650,000 Dreamers to deportation. He also bemoaned the court’s historic ruling Monday that LGBTQ people can’t be fired because of their sexuality. His former national security adviser John Bolton claimed in a book excerpt that Trump had encouraged China’s leader to set up concentration camps for the Uyghur minority. He plowed ahead with a non-socially distanced rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma, even as coronavirus cases mounted.

Yes, some rallygoers could get sick, Trump told the Wall Street Journal, but “it’s a very small percentage.”

In a private meeting with the families of Black victims, though, Trump was “very compassionate,” according to the mother of Ahmaud Arbery, who was shot to death while jogging in Georgia. But in his public remarks, the President made law-and-order his primary message.

“Trump went on the attack against his political rivals and doubled down on his hard-line, ‘law and order’ stance, a political calculation solidified by his use of the words ‘safety and security’ and his statement that Americans ‘demand law and order,'” wrote Issac Bailey. “His effort to address growing national suffering and protest over police brutality was, at best, a thinly veiled excuse to defend law enforcement and signal to white voters where he stands.”

A chilling view of the private Trump emerged from the Bolton book. It painted a credible “portrait of the most amoral, autocratic and unprepared man to ever serve as president of the United States,” wrote John Avlon. “This is not a partisan attack by activists from the opposition party. This is the first-person view of the President’s former national security adviser, bolstered by contemporaneous notes, a standard which is admissible in court. It is a damning portrait of a president untethered to anything resembling morals, who cannot separate his self-interest from the national interest and doesn’t even care to try.”

Jen Psaki viewed the book through the lens of the upcoming election: “All of the observations, accusations and specific anecdotes are about one person — Donald Trump — and whether he is fit to lead the country and the lasting damage he would inflict if given four more years.”

In fact, the revelations show Bolton as complicit, in Elie Honig‘s view: “John Bolton has offered the nation a staggering profile in cowardice…Bolton directly witnessed not one but multiple acts that could have been cited in the impeachment of President Donald Trump. But Bolton did nothing about it while he held a powerful post in the Trump administration. And he stayed quiet and took cover when Congress and the nation pleaded with him to speak out during the impeachment process.”

Writing about China policy, Bolton gave this devastating description: “The Trump presidency is not grounded in philosophy, grand strategy or policy. It is grounded in Trump.” As if to prove that such a verdict applies more broadly, on Friday night Attorney General William Barr ousted Geoffrey Berman, US Attorney for the Southern District of NY which has been investigating and prosecuting Trump’s associates. “The news of Berman’s ouster is one more piece of evidence that Trump is the anti-law-and-order President, despite his claims to the contrary. Trump touts law and order when it suits him, but attacks the courts and erodes our judicial system when it comes to his agenda and actions,” wrote Julian Zelizer.

One critic described Bolton’s book as a slog. “It toggles between two discordant registers: exceedingly tedious and slightly unhinged,” wrote Jennifer Szalai in the New York Times. “Still, it’s maybe a fitting combination for a lavishly bewhiskered figure whose wonkishness and warmongering can make him seem like an unlikely hybrid of Ned Flanders and Yosemite Sam.”

Another book Trump may be dreading is due out in July from the President’s niece, Mary L. Trump, who is a psychologist. Trump biographer Michael D’Antonio wrote that the book promises to shed light on the President’s fraught relationships with his father and elder brother, Fred Trump Jr., who was Mary Trump’s father. “Three and a half years into the Trump era, endless words have been spent illustrating the chaotic and cruel personality that can, to cite just one example, schedule a huge ego-gratifying rally in the middle of a deadly pandemic caused by a viciously contagious virus,” noted D’Antonio.

A rally fizzles

Given that cases of Covid-19 have been rising sharply in Tulsa County, wrote infectious disease expert and Oklahoma native Dr. Kent Sepkowitz in advance of Trump’s Saturday rally there, “from a strict public health perspective, the selection of Tulsa is a terrible decision.”

Trump’s first rally since the pandemic began was “supposed to trumpet his return to greatness — and the country’s return to normalcy,” wrote Frida Ghitis. But it “instead brought embarrassing scenes of empty bleachers, a dismantled stage and a familiar speech unsuccessfully trying to reignite public fears…The speech was typically self-centered, with a bizarre more than ten-minute long riff on his ultra-slow descent from the West Point ramp, and absolutely no words of compassion for the nearly 120,000 people in this country who have died during the pandemic.”

Days of freedom

Friday was Juneteenth, the holiday celebrating the end of slavery in the US. Another historic day of freedom came on October 1, 1962, when James Meredith became the first African American student to enroll at the University of Mississippi. He had to sue for his right to an education there, and it took the courts, hundreds of federal marshals and thousands of troops to overcome rioting and protect Meredith.

“The gates of higher education in the United States were opened for all Americans,” Meredith wrote. “This victory for me and for the US Constitution shattered the system of state-sponsored white supremacy in Mississippi…”

“When I see people across America — and around the world — peacefully marching for racial justice and honoring the memory of George Floyd and other martyrs like Medgar Evers…I am filled with both joy and hope. White supremacy may be the most evil beast that’s ever stalked the halls of history, and today it may finally be mortally wounded.”

Some companies and some states marked Juneteenth as a holiday, but it should be observed nationally, wrote Peniel Joseph. It “would spur not only conversation about the origins of our current racial and political conflicts, but would also prompt vitally necessary education about white supremacy and its manifestations in policies and political actions that are anti-Black, anti-democratic and anti-human,” wrote Joseph.

Rayshard Brooks’ own words

Months before he was shot to death by Atlanta police, Rayshard Brooks took part in an interview for a research project. A video of that February interview aired on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 show Wednesday, and in it, Brooks described the lasting burden of being on probation: “I just feel like some of the system could, you know, look at us as individuals. We do have lives, you know, just a mistake we made, and you know, not just do us as if we are animals.”

Van Jones noted that for people on probation “any contact with a police officer — for any reason — means an almost certain return to the horrors of a jail cell. It is safe to assume that Brooks did not want to go back to jail over sleeping in his car or failing a sobriety test, lose everything he had and be forced to start his life over again.”

“In other words, we do not know why the Atlanta police officer chose to shoot a man who was running away from him. But we can guess why that man chose to run, in the first place. Brooks didn’t want to lose his liberty. Instead, he wound up losing his life.”

Melvin Carter, the first African American mayor of St. Paul, Minnesota, is the son of a police officer who served his city for 28 years. But even with that background, he doesn’t think the answer to public safety is solely a matter of spending billions on police and prisons. “Our country’s enforcement-heavy approach to safety isn’t designed to address the root causes of crime, but the symptoms,” he wrote. “Instead of equipping us all with tools to guard our own future security, it further alienates those on the outer edges of society and impedes funding for critical social infrastructure like schools and housing.”

A former mayor, Mitch Landrieu of New Orleans, wrote that the US Justice Department was investigating his city’s police department when he took office. A consent decree which is still ongoing has resulted in a dramatic improvement in how residents view the police, but there’s more work to be done, Landrieu wrote. “We must go further. We can no longer ask police to handle the failures of our social and educational systems.”

Anne Milgram, the former New Jersey Attorney General, worked on the reinvention of policing in what was once America’s most dangerous city, Camden. “We had a police department that had no idea of what it was doing or whether it could do better. It lurched wildly from 911 call to 911 call, sometimes taking hours to respond to calls of serious violence. It failed to solve serious crimes…that plagued the city, and yet hundreds of arrests were being made for low-level crimes, driven most often by drug and alcohol addiction, mental illness, poverty and homelessness.” New leadership, new systems and ultimately a new police department made a difference — the city is “the safest that it has been in more than 50 years” and the police department is a model for others, Milgram wrote.

Supreme surprises

When Donald Trump ran for President, he promised to appoint conservative justices to the federal courts — and he’s been true to his word, naming Brett Kavanaugh and Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court and scores of others for lower courts.

But it was Gorsuch who wrote the majority opinion this week upholding civil rights for LGBTQ Americans, rejecting the Trump administration’s position in declaring that the anti-discrimination provisions of the 1964 Civil Rights Act protect gay and transgender people. “It’s surprising that it’s taken this long,” wrote John D. Sutter. “Until this week in the United States of America, many LGBTQ workers lacked these simple legal protections.

“In over half the states in America, you could be fired for being gay. Until now.”

Then on Thursday, Chief Justice John Roberts, appointed by George W. Bush, sided with the court’s four liberals in blocking the Trump administration’s effort to kill the Obama-era DACA program, which shields young people who had been brought to the United States as children from deportation. DACA “was life-changing for hundreds of thousands of people — Americans in all but the paperwork — who were now free to work, go to school, seek promotions and continue their academic careers without fear of being detained and sent back to countries they barely knew,” wrote Raul A. Reyes. The decision was “a win for Dreamers, for the American ideal of welcoming immigrants — and for the independence of the high court.”

Happy Father’s Day

Mother’s Day this year came as most Americans were still locked down, and a lot of the holiday get-togethers were virtual. Today is Father’s Day and the advice from Kent Sepkowitz is consistent with what he recommended for the earlier holiday: get together with your father on Zoom, Facetime or whatever platform you prefer. America’s “approach to reopening — which has been unscientific and uncoordinated — has failed miserably. Rather than cautiously peeling back the various Covid-19 containment safeguards, most states have supported an ‘everybody-back-in-the-pool’ return, as if we were all teens partying during Spring Break.”

“Besides, let’s be honest — Father’s Day is no Mother’s Day, “wrote Sepkowitz, noting that total US spending on Mother’s Day gifts is more than 50% higher. “As a dad myself, this junior varsity status is fine by me. This year in particular, I want nothing to do with celebrating a holiday in the middle of a poorly managed pandemic.”

For more on Father’s Day:

Marcus Mabry: A Father’s Day message to all dads

Arick Wierson: George Floyd was my wake-up call

After Aunt Jemima

The debate over systemic racism touched off by the killing of George Floyd rippled into many parts of America. Consumer-facing companies reacted, with Quaker Oats announcing that it would end the 131-year-old Aunt Jemima brand, noted Elliot Williams.

As a Black child, it was upsetting for him to discover that the light-pink Crayola crayon was labeled “flesh” colored. “I put it back in the bin, pulled out ‘burnt sienna’ or ‘raw umber’ and continued whatever (probably “Star Wars” themed) self-portrait I was working on… By implying that the only color called ‘flesh’ looked like white skin, Crayola decided who was ‘normal.’ Everyone else had to work around that.” (The “flesh” color was phased out in 1962, replaced by “peach.”)

“In the midst of a national debate on life-and-death matters around racism and public safety, fussing about the logo on instant rice may seem trivial,” Williams wrote. “It’s not. The images our society chooses to elevate are reflective of who we are, and more importantly, whose voices — and yes, even lives — matter.”

Now that Aunt Jemima has been retired, wrote Crystal Echo Hawk, what should be next? She argued that the many uses of Native American images and symbolism in sports must end. “Professional sports have the power to influence and inspire people of all ages. In this unprecedented moment of solidarity, t hey have the opportunity to take a strong stand and show — not just say — that racism will not be tolerated.”

Covid-19 is still here

America’s top two elected officials did their best this week to argue that Covid-19 is going away, despite clear signs to the contrary. “Other countries whose governments addressed the crisis forthrightly have managed to wrestle down the curve, and now they are carefully, safely reopening,” wrote Frida Ghitis. “In the US, the curve is trending up, not down, even if Vice President Mike Pence deceptively declared in an op-ed this week, ‘We are winning the fight against the invisible enemy,’ unctuously declaring that the good news is ‘a testament to the leadership of President Trump.'”

As Ghitis noted, “On Monday, during a roundtable discussion on senior citizens, Trump said ‘If you don’t test, you don’t have any cases,’ a belief reminiscent of a baby thinking you disappear if he covers his eyes. To state the obvious, if we stopped testing, people would continue to become infected and die.”

Don’t miss:

Kamala Harris: The fight continues to protect Americans’ health care from Trump.

Theodore J. Boutrous Jr.: Trump’s tweet exploits and defames toddlers

Vicky Ward: Telling the truth makes a huge difference

David Gergen and Caroline Cohen: The next Greatest Generation

Merrill Brown: Federal government abdicates duty to inform public on coronavirus

Claire McMullen, Yael Schacher and Ariana Sawyer: Trump’s cold-blooded move to shut out desperate asylum seekers

Jeff Yang: It turns out your favorite movie is racist. What now?

Nayyera Haq: Why Stacey Abrams deserves applause

AND…

At last, summer

A summer like no other begins this weekend. In the first of a new series of weekly columns for CNN Opinion, biologist Erin Bromage wrote, “Our choices over the coming months will determine the trajectory of this pandemic. If we continue to pursue activities that pose a high risk for infection, such as large indoor gatherings, then we will hear the roar of that second wave sooner than later.”

“If we take a more measured approach, by improving hand hygiene, limiting daily interactions with other people, maintaining physical distance and increasing face mask use when we can’t maintain the distance, then businesses can operate safely, people can return to work and the activities our children are missing can resume.”

But even in the midst of the pandemic, Bromage wrote that he’s looking forward to some traditional summer activities: “my first meal at a restaurant (dining outdoors), visiting with more than one or two households at a time, and spending time at the beach. These interactions will be a little different than last summer.

“We will have to keep personal risks and risk mitigation measures in mind, but these adjustments are well worth the payoff of getting to enjoy some of my family’s usual summertime activities.”

Donald Trump’s heartless week #web #website #copied #to read# #highlight #link #news #read #blog #wordpress post# #posts #breaking news# #Sinrau #Nothiah #Sinrau29

#IFTTT #WordPress

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brentrogers · 4 years

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Inside Schizophrenia: The Role Nurses Play in Schizophrenia Treatment

Some of the professionals that work most with helping people with schizophrenia are nurses. There are so many types with different skill sets. Host Rachel Star Withers and Co-host Gabe Howards learn who these often overlooked healthcare workers are.

Dr. Tari Dilks, Professor and President of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association, joins with insight on what goes into being a psychiatric nurse.

Highlights in “The Role Nurses Play in Schizophrenia Treatment” Episode

[01:14] Doctor sidekicks?

[04:00] The types of nurses

[06:40] Nurse Practitioners

[11:00] Nurses specialties

[13:00] Psychiatric Nursing

[17:00] Where do psychiatric nurses work?

[21:00] Home Health Care

[24:10] Guest Interview with Dr. Tari Dilks

[26:17] How psychiatric nursing is different than other types

[34:00] Be the hope for someone

[45:16] Appreciation for what goes into being a nurse

About Our Guest

Sattaria ‘Tari’ Dilks, DNP, APRN, PMHNP-BC, FAANP

Professor and Co-coordinator of Graduate Nursing, College of Nursing and Health Professions, McNeese State University

Dr. Tari Dilks is a professor of nursing at McNeese State University and co-coordinator of McNeese’s Master of Science in Nursing programs. She is also director of the psychiatric/mental health track for the Intercollegiate Consortium for a Master of Science in Nursing partnership involving McNeese, Nicholls State University, Southeastern Louisiana University and the University of Louisiana at Lafayette.

Currently the President of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association, she consistently advocates for awareness of psychiatric-mental health issues. She the past chair of the APNA Practice Council and was the 2017 recipient of the APNA Award for Excellence in Education.

Dilks obtained her Doctorate of Nursing Practice in psychiatric mental health advanced practice nursing from the University of Tennessee, her Master of Science in Nursing degree and her Master of Arts degree in psychology both from McNeese and her Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree from West Texas State University. She is a family nurse practitioner, psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner and a licensed professional counselor in Louisiana.

She has also been recognized for her leadership by the American Association of Nurse Practitioners with the Louisiana Award for Nurse Practitioner Excellence and her induction into the academy as a Fellow.

www.apna.org

APNA Report: Expanding Mental Health Care Services in America: The Pivotal Role of Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurses

Computer Generated Transcript of “The Role Nurses Play in Schizophrenia Treatment” Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: Welcome to Inside Schizophrenia, a look in to better understanding and living well with schizophrenia. Hosted by renowned advocate and influencer Rachel Star Withers and featuring Gabe Howard.

Sponsor: Listeners, could a change in your schizophrenia treatment plan make a difference? There are options out there you might not know about. Visit OnceMonthlyDifference.com to find out more about once monthly injections for adults with schizophrenia.

Rachel Star Withers: Welcome to Inside Schizophrenia, a Psych Central podcast. I’m Rachel Star Withers here with my co-host, Gabe Howard. And this episode, we’re gonna be talking about the roles nurses play in our mental health care.

Gabe Howard: It’s weird to think that nursing has anything to do with schizophrenia, when you suggested the topic was like what? How are we going to get an hour out of this?

Rachel Star Withers: I agree. It really blew my mind. Learning what nurses do has actually been incredible because there is so much that goes into nursing.

Gabe Howard: Sincerely, before we started this, I thought that nurses were Dr. Sidekick’s. I want to be completely honest. I thought that nurses were doctor assistants. Hard stop. That’s it. There was nothing more that they did. The end. And wow, was I wrong.

Rachel Star Withers: If you look at like different TV shows, Scrubs, ER, like when you’re watching them, it’s very segregated. The nurses and the doctors and you just kind of get that idea that they’re two separate things, you know, and obviously doctors what you want. That’s the vibe you get from TV if you don’t know who these people are.

Gabe Howard: It’s very interesting to me, as much as we talk about how. Don’t learn about schizophrenia and mental illness from pop culture and media representations. We’ve had to have said that at least a dozen times over the course of Inside Schizophrenia. And yet here we are learning about the nursing industry from their portrayal on media and pop culture. And it just goes to show you that it’s easy to fall into this trap, that what we’re seeing on TV is somehow some sort of accurate portrayal when in actuality it’s not, it’s fictitious at best.

Rachel Star Withers: All I’m going to say is thank you to all of our wonderful nurses. Obviously we have the pandemic and stuff going on. So thankfully, a lot of people that don’t get seen have been pushed into the spotlight and all the work they’re doing. So any level of nursing, medical, health care. Thank you so much right now, because all those people are giving more than they should have to.

Gabe Howard: I completely agree. Thank you so much for all that you do, and nurses are as a man with red hair, meaning I grew up as a redhead. I’m allowed to say this. The nurses seem to be the red headed stepchildren of the medical industry. They’re so necessary and they do so much. And yet they’re often ignored. And we want to talk about specifically how nurses are helping people with schizophrenia, because, as it turns out, they’re doing an incredible amount of work and even us. Rachel, before we started this show, we’re like, wow. I mean, what do they do? Like what? They check us in when we get there?

Rachel Star Withers: Take my blood pressure?

Gabe Howard: Yeah. They check our blood pressure before, you know, the real person comes in to help us. And that’s really the crux of this conversation. Coming up later, we have a wonderful guest, a woman who has been a nurse for a long time and has done a lot of work. And she’s a psychiatric nurse. And I am excited to have everybody listen to her because, I mean, frankly, she really set us straight.

Rachel Star Withers: Oh, yeah.

Gabe Howard: Rachel, there are different types of nurses, and I don’t mean like psychiatric nurse versus surgical nurse. I mean, like there’s different educational levels. Who have access to do different things. And I was kind of surprised by that as well, because I, I really sincerely thought it was one size fits all.

Rachel Star Withers: So the three basic types. OK. Three general basic types. We have an RN, a Registered Nurse. That’s kind of what I would say most of us think of in our head when we picture a nurse is what is the traditional registered nurse. A lot of times, you know, you go to the hospital, that’s who you are interacting with. They do like the vitals. So you are talking to that person kind of on that level. They can, as we’ll get into, do diagnoses, different assessments, like they play a major part because a lot of times the doctor will only see you for, like, you know, five minutes. But it’s the nurse who does all the work of, hey, this is what I think’s going on, then pulls the doctor in. Then you have licensed practical nurse or vocational nurse, depending on what country or state you’re in, and they are under the supervision of the nurses. I don’t want to say nursing assistant, but kind of. It’s the next level down. But they do a lot of important stuff also. And then there is the CNA, Certified Nursing Assistant. And that’s I hear the most, I guess, with people. I’ll have people talk about what our jobs are. I hear oh, I’m a CNA. I hear that all the time. And I really didn’t know what that meant. But there are ones who do like routine and daily tasks. CND are usually the ones you get to talk to the most. That kind of interact with you, that kind of help you form, like, I don’t want to say emotional bond, ’cause it sounds a little creepy in the medical sense, but, no, that, like the ones you’re like talking to. You know, more one on one. So these are like the three big ones.

Gabe Howard: One of the things that, of course, was most impressive in all of this is that no matter what kind of a nurse you see there on the front lines, it means they have a lot of patient interaction. So when we talk about how nurses help people with schizophrenia, they might be the first medical person that somebody who is in crisis sees. When you walk into the emergency room, the first person that you see is not a doctor. It’s not a psychiatrist. It’s a nurse of some sort. Nurses often see people with schizophrenia and start the process towards diagnosis long before you reach a doctor. So in that way, nurses are extraordinarily vital to noticing the symptoms of schizophrenia and reporting them back up the chain. And I don’t think many people really realize this and that. And that alone shows you the importance of nurses in the treatment of schizophrenia and other mental health issues. Nurses don’t just change bedpans. They’re really doing a lot to keep people with schizophrenia safe. And I was very surprised by that. Rachel, I understand that you’re not as surprised as me because you see a nurse practitioner for your schizophrenia treatment, which I did not know and blew me away.

Rachel Star Withers: Yes. So what that is, though, if you’re listening at home, you’re thinking, Rachel, didn’t go over nurse practitioners as one of her three things. So there are advanced nurses that they are highly trained. Lots and lots of college and lots of certifications having to constantly keep up on what’s going on. These are the people that they can diagnose you. They could actually prescribe medicine. Where I go twice a month for the past, like eight, 10 years is a center. It’s a mental health center. And I have never met the psychiatrist there. I think there’s one or two on staff. But they are over these nurses. So I’ve always met with, like a different nurse over the years. And I assumed I was meeting with the doctor, really. Just like in the past where I met with psychiatrist. You sit down, we discuss the symptoms, what’s been going on, any changes that I might need to take, where we’re at, checking to make sure nothing else is going on that might be interfering.

Gabe Howard: I remember a long time ago when Gabe Howard was but a young mental health advocate. I really pushed people only to get mental health care from a psychiatrist. I would always say some form of, well, if you had cancer, you would only go to an oncologist. And, listen, in a perfect world, I still stand by that. We don’t live in a perfect world. And I realized in many places there can be a one, two, three, four month wait, if not longer, to see a psychiatrist. And if you’re in crisis, you need somebody. Now, I’ve realized that licensed nurse practitioners, especially psychiatric nurse practitioners, are really pulling a lot of weight. They’re trained, they’re specialized, and they do a really, really great job. And do I wish that there were a million more psychiatrists? Do I wish that you could see a psychiatrist at the drop of a hat in a moment’s notice? Do I wish that the health care system works differently for people living with schizophrenia? Absolutely. But this isn’t the world that we live in. And it’s important to understand that psychiatric nurse practitioners are a very vital stopgap and have saved a lot a lot of lives. And it’s something that I didn’t give enough credit to. And I imagine that when I said things like you should only see a psychiatrist, it’s possible that somebody who listened to my words might have sat at home and gotten zero care because they were waiting on that psychiatrist. And that’s not good. That’s a very bad idea. You should always get any care that you can find before getting no care, whether that’s from a general practitioner, from an emergency room, from a Wal-Mart clinic. All of these things are much, much better options than getting zero care. And the licensed nurse practitioners are, they’re an excellent resource.

Rachel Star Withers: And to be fair, Gabe, I would say most of the time you are having to get a referral. And I don’t think other doctors are so quick to send you to nurse practitioner versus doctor. I know in the past. They’ve always been like, oh, we’ll write a referral. We’ll find a psychiatrist on your insurance. That’s always how it’s been worded to me. So it’s not just you, I would say, like just the people in the offices, doctors’ offices, they word things a certain way that makes you think, oh, I can only see a psychiatrist.

Gabe Howard: It’s understandable that people would believe this, and I think that’s something that we want this particular show to sort of open up the idea that there is a wide variety of care that a person can get. It’s also possible that when you’re in crisis, when you first need diagnosed, that a psychiatrist is where you should go. But I’m going to use you as an example, Rachel. You were diagnosed, what, 15, 20 years ago? It’s certainly possible that now while you’re in recovery and you’re, you know, month to month or even quarterly to quarterly med checks, etc., don’t need to rise to the level of a psychiatrist. You can be checked out by a nurse practitioner or even a general practitioner, etc. It’s all about finding the best care for you and the stage of your disease process. And I think that’s something that we need to be open to. Let’s make sure that people who are seeing licensed nurse practitioner or psychiatric nurses aren’t thinking that they’re getting bad care, they’re just getting different care. And I think that really needs to be the message. It’s not bad care. It’s different care.

Rachel Star Withers: And all of these nurses that you’re coming in contact with, they have a passion and they have found like who they want to help. Like when you specialize in certain things, whether you want to, like, work with kids, adults, older people, ones who want to work with like pregnant women. So pediatric nurse, you have like geriatric nurse. When my grandparents were both suffering very, very badly from Alzheimer’s, we actually had geriatric nurses coming to the house and one of them was so great with my grandfather. He was mentally gone. And she was like, I remember telling me she had been trained to deal with that, to deal with people in their 80s, 90s who were not themselves anymore. And we were just like really impressed with that.

Gabe Howard: This specific part that I want to zero in on is where you said that, where she said this is what I’ve been specifically trained for, and that’s what we want the audience to understand about psychiatric nurses helping people with schizophrenia lead their best lives, get their best care. That is what they’ve been specifically trained for. And, you know, so often let’s go back to the top of the show where we thought that doctors were best and nurses were second best. But wait a minute. What if you have a doctor who’s been specifically trained in geriatric issues and a nurse who’s been specifically trained in psychiatric issues? Well, now, depending on where you are. Well, the doctor is better. The doctor has to be better, they’re a doctor. But they have no specialized training in schizophrenia or mental health issues. They only have the broad training. So in this way, we need to start thinking, well, now, wait a minute, a nurse with specific psychiatric training and in my mind, and the research holds out, a nurse with specific training in psychiatric disorders is going to be better than a doctor with broad training and nonspecific issues. And this is where we need to start being aware that that just because you’re a doctor doesn’t mean that you’re better than a nurse. Every situation is different. And it’s important to understand that we’re different, right? We have specialized needs. People with mental illness have specialized needs. And I always want to be in a room with a practitioner who understands the illness and who understands my specific needs, because that’s going to give me the best path to wellness. Is that how you feel, Rachel?

Rachel Star Withers: Absolutely, Gabe. And with it, these specialized like that’s something they’ve chosen. That’s something that they’re passionate about. Like usually these people, they specialize for a reason. OK, they are interested in helping people with mental disorders or whatever they specialized in. A little bit later, we talked to Dr. Dilks. That becomes so clear how passionate she is and you will see why she chose psychiatric nursing. And it kind of makes me feel better to know that you have somebody who’s like, I can work with anybody, but I’ve chosen to work with people who are in crisis like you. I don’t know, that’s just really cool to me that someone has decided you are specifically what I want to focus on.

Gabe Howard: So let’s break this down a little bit. You know, psychiatric, mental health nurse, it tends to be an umbrella term. There’s a ton of titles. They vary by state. But let’s talk about the roles and duties of a psychiatric mental health nurse. What do they do?

Rachel Star Withers: So they are going to be the ones that assess you when you come in there. I’m having a situation. They’re going to be figuring out what are the symptoms, what’s going on? They can help diagnose and treat patients, depending on what type of nurse they are. They may be actually prescribing your medication. If you are in a actual facility, where you’re staying inpatient, there’s so many different nurses there that are going to be monitoring you, taking your weight, monitoring your food like just so many different levels, just the basics. And then the brain, the mentally. How is this person responding to these medications? You know, where are they mentally? Their jobs are also to educate family members, which is so important. I remember one of my past mental health nurses actually asking, could my parents come in. If I would feel OK about bringing them in so they could all be on the same page of what needs to happen for Rachel. But of course, they had to ask my permission as I am an adult. Just really incredible. They help the patients set your goals short term, long term. Where do I want to be mentally?

Gabe Howard: And they also have subspecialties, so not only are they focusing on, you know, schizophrenia, psychosis and the things that are important to people living with severe and persistent mental illness, living with schizophrenia, but then they come up with a subspecialty which zeroes in their ability to help even more. And those subspecialties, well, there’s a ton of them, Rachel.

Rachel Star Withers: Yep. Wherever you live, you might not have an office that has all of these wonderful subspecialties, but you’re going to people who specialize in children and teens, adolescent kind of ages. Substance abuse is a big difference. Then let’s say schizophrenia. You have others that their main job is to be the go between, that they’re more of an administrative kind of office type person. That is their job to kind of help you outside of this. Like, once you get out, what happens once you’re not inside the office? Who’s helping you? And I think that’s a really cool one. Like, I kind of thought those people, which I know I’ve come in contact with, they actually know. They have a medical background. They have lots of training to be able to make these connections that are best for you.

Gabe Howard: We’ve heard a lot about what they can do, how they’re trained, how they specialize and why they’re great, but where do they work? Where would we run into or meet up with a psychiatric nurse or a mental health nurse?

Rachel Star Withers: Hospitals. Psychiatric style hospitals, different doctor’s offices across the board, home health care organizations. One that I hadn’t thought about till we were researching, prisons. There are a lot of psychiatric nurses that work in the prison system. Whoo! Wow.

Gabe Howard: And that’s one to really consider, because prisons have sort of become the new asylums. There’s a lot of people with schizophrenia that unfortunately, because of the mental health safety net being so holy, they find themselves in prison. So, thankfully, these nurses are in there because they may well be the only people looking out for the mental health and the well-being of people with schizophrenia who find themselves in prison.

Rachel Star Withers: Another area I wasn’t thinking about would be schools. Schools employ a lot of different nurses. And I do remember my college. You could, like, have free basic checkups and things like that. And then they also had free counseling that I would go to. And looking back, I don’t remember who it was I was talking to. I just assumed it was a psychologist. So looking back, I’m like, oh, well, I’m seeing how many nurses are employed. And I was probably talking to a specialized nurse back those many years ago. And understand like to become one of these people, it’s not just about my two year degree. You have to get multiple licenses. You have to have all these different certifications and so many different hours practicing at different areas. You know, and then you’re looking at some have their masters, some have their doctorate in nursing, which is kind of weird to think. So you’re a doctor of nursing? That concept was a little odd to me because we don’t understand nursing correctly. Like, honestly.

Gabe Howard: Well, yeah. Yeah. At the top of the show, we thought that nurses were doctor assistants, so yeah, I’ve been shocked at the amount of training and again, it just shows you the base misunderstanding that we have about the profession.

Rachel Star Withers: Let’s swing over. What are the other nurses? So we know we’re gonna run into some psychiatric nurses. It’s common with schizophrenia, we’re probably going to, at some point, interact with some E.R. nurses. E.R. nurses are like, incredible. They’re gonna be the ones who have to spot the crisis situation first on what’s happening, especially if you are in the middle of psychosis and you can’t really tell them what’s going on. Your reality is all messed up. I know a lot of times when I kind of I call it being mentally off. But a lot of times when I am in the middle of a psychotic episode, I have really bad headaches. If you were to ask me, Rachel, what’s going on? I’m probably not going to tell you I have a headache. You’re gonna see me trying to find a hammer to pull the nails out because it hurts so bad, it feels like a nail. So I need to get a hammer to pull the nails out. That would be what I would be telling you. And you’re like, what? But I’m trying to tell you, that’s how bad my headache is. Psychotically, though, in my mind, my head literally has nails in it. So imagine being a nurse and you have someone coming in there trying to explain symptoms in those ways. And you have to be smart enough to figure out what is this person saying in a very intense time. Very kind of, I would say, scary. You have family members who might have brought the person in. It’s just amazing, though, that what E.R. nurses have to be able to do and remain calm doing that.

Gabe Howard: Switching gears, just ever so slightly, Rachel, you know, the demand for mental health services has increased significantly in recent years, primarily because more Americans have health insurance because of the Affordable Care Act. From 2014 to 2015, there was a 58% increase in mental health nursing jobs, which required an R.N. and a 17% increase in demand for psychiatric nurse practitioner jobs because of the increased demand for mental health services and the diminishing stigma surrounding mental health conditions. A major void in psychiatric care still exists, and nurses are in great demand to fill these mental health jobs. So nurses are out on the front lines trying to solve a lot of these problems that we have been advocating about for years. They’re also doing large amounts of stuff outside of the E.R. with home health care. And this is amazing to me because we’re sort of back to like America in the 1800’s where people are making house calls.

Rachel Star Withers: Yes, when I hear home health care, I think the nurse is having to come to your house because you’re old or you have like a physical disability, not mental. So I didn’t even know that could be an option for some people. Unfortunately, a lot of us with schizophrenia and other very severe mental disorders, we can be really bad at taking your medication. In fact, as many as 60% of patients with schizophrenia do not take their medication as prescribed, which means they take less, they take more. This is me. I’ve had this happen too. They feel like they’re better. So, OK, I’m going to go off my meds and then they’re not better. And having like a home psychiatric nurse who like travels and checks on different people, they’re able to notice if that person isn’t taking their medication a lot quicker than if I just go to the psychiatrist once a month. This person is the one who is coming regularly and checking on me. And that is just like a really awesome thing. If you’re out there, you’re listening or you’re a loved one of someone with schizophrenia, you might want to look into those different programs, especially if, you know the medication situation is one that you struggle with. Even looking into people who, if you are out of a hospital and having a hard time transitioning into the world, they have different organizations that can help you with that. And part of that is the nurses who can come and check on you.

Gabe Howard: I think it’s also very interesting and probably important to consider the role of home health care during the pandemic. It probably saved a lot of lives and we won’t know the full extent of everything for probably another year or so. But I got to tell you, you know, during times like quarantines, things being closed, people not being able to leave their house, people with schizophrenia, having access to home health care, it did a lot of good for both those folks and no doubt their caregivers. Another nod to just how important this overlooked occupation is.

Rachel Star Withers: And we’ll be right back after this message from our sponsor.

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Rachel Star Withers: And we’re back talking about the roles nurses play in our mental health care.

Gabe Howard: As promised, everybody, I would like to introduce Dr. Tari Dilks. She is a nurse practitioner with a PhD and she’s the president of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association. And honestly, this was probably one of the most illuminating and enlightening interviews that we’ve ever done on Inside Schizophrenia. She just makes so many incredible points. And Rachel, I’m jealous that you got to talk to her, and I didn’t. She is very, very cool. And I think all of you are gonna get a lot out of this. Here we go. Here is that interview.

Rachel Star Withers: Today, we are excited to be talking with Dr. Tari Dilks, who is the current president of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association (APNA). Thank you so much for talking with us today.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Well, I so appreciate the invitation, Rachel.

Rachel Star Withers: Now you have a really, really extensive background.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Oh god.

Rachel Star Withers: Let our listeners know a little bit about yourself.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Okey-doke. I am, first of all, a registered nurse. And then I got a little bored with floor nursing and got a master’s degree in counseling psychology. And I’m also a licensed professional counselor. So I began to get a little burned out. So my husband said, go back to school and become a nurse practitioner. And I said, you’re out of your mind. But I did. And I have another master’s degree in nursing. And I went back and got a doctorate in psychiatric nursing practice. And now I teach and have a consulting type business.

Rachel Star Withers: And that’s really awesome to me. What we’ve been talking about on this episode is to like the lay person we hear nurse and honestly, you know, you think assistant to a doctor

Dr. Tari Dilks: Right.

Rachel Star Withers: And you don’t realize like how much goes into nursing and the different levels. It’s incredible. So it’s I love your background is just it’s a lot. It’s way more than most people think. You know, unfortunately, most of us kind of think of Scrubs or E.R. or one of those type

Dr. Tari Dilks: Right.

Rachel Star Withers: Of shows when they think of a nurse.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Right. There’s not very many people like me out there, but all of us have a different journey, though. And it you know, my sister’s journey went to the emergency department. My mother’s went to the operating room. I ended up in psych almost by accident and have loved it ever since I found it.

Rachel Star Withers: [00:01:48] So what made you decide exactly to switch over to psychiatric?

Dr. Tari Dilks: So what made me decide to become a psychiatric nurse was an accident in a large part. My mother was an operating room nurse. Then I thought that just doesn’t sound exciting to me. And I ended up going to nursing school up near Amarillo, Texas, at West Texas State. And while I was there, I got a job at a children’s psychiatric hospital and I thought I have died and gone to heaven. This is what nursing ought to be. I was able to do so many things that appealed to me at that time. I played guitar and I could bring my guitar and sing with the kids. I did art and I could bring that playing cards. It was amazing to me how much information you can get from playing cards with people. What sort of selections they make, what their hand-eye coordination is. And so when I came back to Lake Charles, they had a job on a med surg unit, which I kept one day. And then a job opening came up on psych and I had never looked back. That has been such a powerful journey for me and to be able to help people in a very creative way. There’s no algorithm that tells you, say this. Say this. This. It is what’s going on in the moment. It’s a collaboration between you and that particular person.

Rachel Star Withers: You’ve spoken a little bit, but how exactly would you say psychiatric nursing really differs from general nursing?

Dr. Tari Dilks: General nursing, there are skills and certainly psychiatric nurses have skills as well. Starting an IV. Putting down an NG tube, the things that you were talking about earlier, that nursing, you know, on E.R. or Scrubs or one of those shows, they show nurses as very proficient at doing different types of skills. And for me, psychiatric nursing is while it engages the science of nursing. It is all about the art of nursing. It is about the relationship. It’s about the whole person, not just a particular disease or just a particular procedure. It’s about trying to see a person in a very holistic type of context so we can navigate these interpersonal relationships and we can engage with people on a very deep level. And that’s really, to me, the essence of psychiatric nursing. And I think it’s the essence of it for all of us.

Rachel Star Withers: What are the biggest challenges that come along with your profession?

Dr. Tari Dilks: You know, I’ve been in this field a very long time. And when I was started out in it, there was stigma and there is still stigma today, not only against the patients, but also the nurses had a stigma about becoming a psychiatric nurse for some reason. It’s not perceived, at least by the students, as being real nurses. So I talked to an undergraduate nursing class pretty much every semester. And the first question I ask is how many of you are gonna be in psychiatric nurses? And two might out of 60 raise their hands. And then I look at them and I say, all of you are gonna be psychiatric nurses, because what you learn in this class and what you learn about psychiatric nursing permeates throughout the entire profession of nursing. Everybody takes the skills that they learn in undergraduate training as a psychiatric nurse. And you apply it to every patient you see, every family you see. A lot of people are afraid of going into psychiatric nursing because they’ve seen things that show psychiatric patients as being very violent and being out of control and out of touch with reality. And while that is a part of the patient population that we see, it is such a small part of the patient population we see all of us could be psychiatric patients at different times in our lives. All of us get overwhelmed. All of us get depressed. All of us get anxious. And at some point in time, for some people, it just becomes too much. And really, about close to 50 percent of people over the course of their lifetime are going to be affected by a psychiatric illness on either a mild or a major level. And so what I do really, really matters in a very different way. We’ve got a really severe workforce shortage and a lot of that is is how people perceive us.

Rachel Star Withers: How do most patients respond to you?

Dr. Tari Dilks: You know, I have worked a lot over the years on how I talk to people and recognizing that I can’t fix them. And, you know, I think that was something that I came out of nursing school with, was I was here to save the world. Right. Because nurses are great caregivers. They take care of other people. And it took me a while to realize that’s not what my job was. My job is to sit with that person and to help them figure out what they’re going to do, what works in their life, what works for me may not work for them. And I think and that’s what frustrates I get some family nurse practitioners that come in for a post, masters in Psych, and they want algorithms, you know, because they’ve got that for blood pressure. Somebody comes in and they have high blood pressure. This is what I do. Boom, boom, boom. Well, somebody comes in and they’re crying and they’re depressed and they’re in an unhealthy relationship. There is no boom, boom, boom. It’s not a one, two, three. It’s let’s get in there and dig around. And unfortunately, part of our digging involves pain. Oftentimes a lot of psychological pain. And that’s hard for people. And you’ve got to lay the groundwork before you get there. That’s very frustrating for other nurses because like I said, some of them have these algorithms. You do A B C and things get better. Well, this is you might do A and Z and maybe W and then get back to B and C before the patient really begins to respond. So I find that with experience has also come a lot of empathy. People respond well to me. I’ve worked really hard on vocal modulation because that makes a difference when you’re talking to somebody. If they’re getting more and more upset, the lower you talk, the slower you talk, the more you look like you know what you’re talking about, the greater the chance that they’re going to respond to you and begin to calm down.

Rachel Star Withers: What would you like to say to people who are in a crisis when they come in contact with you?

Dr. Tari Dilks: There’s always hope. You know, I had have had patients who’ve come in who’ve been fired by every provider they’ve ever had. And that was part of what led to some of my burnout early on, was that I really felt like they needed to have hope. And it required that I have hope. And sometimes when they didn’t, I needed to have it for them. And I had a patient who really, really, really wanted me to give them permission to commit suicide and asked me, you know, Tari, why do you want me to stay in this kind of pain? And it took me aback. I thought, oh, my goodness, is that what I’m doing? Am I making people stay in pain? And then I realized my job was to have the hope for them, for them to always be able to see that that there was an option, that there was another chance. And that person is alive today. And it’s a wonderful thing.

Rachel Star Withers: That’s amazing. What helped you kind of come out of your burnout?

Dr. Tari Dilks: That requires self-care. And that was another thing that they really did not teach me in nursing school, was that I needed to figure out how to take care of myself. So to do that, I’ve been in therapy a couple of times and I play very hard. I scuba dove. I do art. I try to take time out to enjoy my 10 grandchildren. You know, I try to make sure that I carve out time for me. I love to read. So I always make sure every day I had the opportunity to read and I read junk fiction, you know? But it’s escapist. And I a lot of ways. I love music. So I listen to all the corny music shows that are out there, you know, journaling and all of that gets together with helping me relax. I’m sitting here looking out my window on a lake and I’m watching the wind play on the water. All of those things contribute to self-care. There’s all different types of things that that I try to do to take care of myself. When I do those things, I don’t burn out.

Rachel Star Withers: That’s great advice for anyone. That’s awesome.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Absolutely, absolutely.

Rachel Star Withers: Now, what advice do you have for anyone who is thinking of becoming a psychiatric nurse?

Dr. Tari Dilks: Just do it. It is a wonderfully rewarding profession we’re nurses at heart; we understand how to assess people. We understand the interplay between different disease processes and psychiatric manifestations. Like I said, it’s the most rewarding thing in the world for me. And people that are attracted to this profession should just go into it and learn everything they can, absorb everything they can and develop mentors and find people that they can emulate and learn from. And always keeping in mind that their job again is not to fix the person, it’s to walk with the person on their journey. And I’m not walking in front of them and I’m not walking behind them. I’m walking side by side. Let me help you get through this. Let’s figure it out.

Rachel Star Withers: What resources does the American Psychiatric Nurses Association have for those who are interested in becoming a psychiatric nurse?

Dr. Tari Dilks: Well, we have several things. We have a student membership that’s only twenty five dollars. There’s the opportunity with that membership to network on a platform we call Member Bridge. There are free education and resources there. There also is a mentoring program there. There is a tip sheet for new nurses and we have a program for people who are becoming new nurses where they can do an educational process that helps them understand the basics of psychiatric nursing. We offer an educational scholarship to students every year for our annual conference. There are 10 undergraduate and 10 graduate scholarships and we’re working on beginning to expand that to where we can offer more. But that was one reason I got very involved with a Pinay several years ago. I got one of those scholarships and was able to go to an annual conference at where was at Long Beach, California. And it was like I was home. Everybody there spoke my language. Everybody there understood. When I talked about a patient issue, what I was talking about, they understood when I talked about somebody having a really manic episode that got out of control, they knew what that was without me having to explain to them. So the resources with a PMA are incredibly deep. There are very many different ways to be a psychiatric nurse.

Dr. Tari Dilks: You don’t have to go into advanced practice nursing. You might go into administration. You might choose to stay and be the front-line R.N. and that be what you want and that be the kind of service that you can offer to others. And that’s perfectly OK. When I was a young nurse, that was a great thing because I didn’t have to worry about additional responsibility when I had young kids. But then as my kids grew, I wanted to grow as well. And so then I started looking for more and more education. And I think APNA just is an incredibly rich resource. And I don’t say that just as the president of the organization, I say it because I came up through the ranks. I met the executive director at that meeting in Long Beach, and he and I developed this incredible relationship over the years. Of just I could call him and ask him any question he could guide me on. I was involved with the state nurse practitioner organization. He helped me figure out the type of executive director that we needed to do. And every single person that’s on staff at APNA is like that. They are there to help you. And it’s a wonderful thing.

Rachel Star Withers: And what does APNA do to support people with mental illness?

Dr. Tari Dilks: Well, we’re very big into wellness promotion and prevention of mental health problems into what’s called the recovery type attitude, which, you know, a lot of times some people hear the word recovery. They think only addiction. Well, there is a recovery from mental illness as well. And when we start employing those principles, like involving the family, involving the community, then we get better responses. We work with people who are in crisis. We have a psychopharmacology thing every year that assists our nurse practitioners and clinical nurse specialists to prescribe to keep up with the latest information that’s out there on psychopharmacology. We look at a recovery focused person centered. We talk about cultural awareness, trauma informed care. I’m doing some consulting work in an addictions area now and it amazes me, and it shouldn’t, but it amazes me the number of people with addictive issues who have significant childhood trauma and how that has contributed to how they’ve gotten into their addiction. We have consumers that give us input in our education and our conferences. We try to provide the resources and support the members to advocate for their patients. You know, I was at a meeting where they talked about that all school shooters were mentally ill.

Dr. Tari Dilks: And I had to stand up and say, that’s not true. People with mental illness are much more likely to be shot than they are to shoot people. But a lot of times the press picks up on, well, they got treated for depression way back when. Or they should have been treated for depression or whatever. And it has nothing to do with why they chose to shoot up the school or whatever area they’re in. We do everything we can to build up the psychiatric nursing workforce and we need more. We need to make this type of nursing profession important to young nurses and get them to see the incredible growth that can happen with you, with your patients, with the families, with everybody that’s involved with that particular patient. We provide education to all nurses. We’ve opened up some of our courses, especially during the pandemic. To anybody, any nurse that wants to get on there and take it, there is a technique called motivational interviewing that is a way to talk to and partner with a patient in their road to hell. And any nurse can take that now for free.

Rachel Star Withers: Oh, wow.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Yeah. Those are the types of things that a APNA tries to do. They try to be nimble, they try to be responsive and provide resources that all nurses need, really.

Rachel Star Withers: That’s absolutely awesome. Thank you so much, Dr. Dilks. Was there anything that you wanted to promote?

Dr. Tari Dilks: I want to promote getting rid of stigma. That’s what I would like to promote. Is that the people who are mentally ill are you and me. They are just exactly like you and me. They are just at a point in their life where their survival skills, their ability to handle things are down low. And so treat folks, everybody with kindness, treat them with compassion. And please, if you’re a nurse listening to this and psych appeals to you at all, please come into the profession. We need everybody.

Rachel Star Withers: Awesome. Thank you so much for speaking with us today, Dr. Dilks. I absolutely love this interview. And I personally learned so much.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Oh, great.

Rachel Star Withers: This has been very wonderful speaking with you today.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Well, Rachel, I so appreciate the opportunity to do this. Like I said, it’s a passion of mine. I really enjoy trying to get people to see things a little bit differently.

Gabe Howard: Rachel, Tari was very, very cool. Thank you, Tari, for taking time away from your duties as the president of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association. You were there, Rachel, what were your initial thoughts going into the interview vs. your thoughts when the interview was over?

Rachel Star Withers: Going in, I thought it was gonna be pretty boring, just that, you know,

Gabe Howard: It’s honest, I understand. I understand.

Rachel Star Withers: I mean, you know, not going to be that exciting and it for me was the opposite. I think what stands out most about her is her passion. She loves what she does. And she is incredibly passionate about it. And that was just the coolest thing to me. Like, she got me passionate about psychiatric nursing. She just sounded so excited about what she does and what she’s been doing for many, many years and has went to so much schooling in. And obviously, she’s very knowledgeable.

Gabe Howard: She said so many things that I didn’t think about, Rachel, what was the thing that just really blew your mind? That you thought, wow?

Rachel Star Withers: The coolest thing I think overall for me is how much schooling, how much work goes in to being that person. To being that person that you come in contact with. I’ve never in the past, really, I don’t want to say I don’t respect those people because I did. But I respect them on a much deeper level now. And that is like so cool. When Dr. Dilks was talking, I was thinking like, oh, my gosh, I want to be your patient so bad because I was blown away. Like, you are so knowledgeable, like I want you treating me. You probably know so much. And that’s just really cool to think. The people you are coming in contact with have put in so much work to get to come in contact with you. That’s just amazing to me.

Gabe Howard: The most shocking thing to me was just how much on the frontlines the nurses are. And I want to give a big, big thank you to Dr. Dilks for really just explaining that every nurse is a psychiatric nurse because they come into contact with people first. And that was a big aha moment for me, because she’s right. People with severe and persistent mental illness, people with schizophrenia, we do often talk to nurses before we get to doctors. So if they’re on their game and they notice that something’s off, they can really point us in the right direction. Because, again, we often think of the nurses as the people standing between us and the medical care that we need, rather than the nurses assisting in us getting the medical care that they need. They really can be a great patient advocate.

Rachel Star Withers: I totally agree, Gabe. An absolute thank you to all of those who work in nursing, who come in contact with anyone who has a mental disorder, who comes in contact with the family, the friends of people who have a mental disorder, because yeah, it takes a village.

Gabe Howard: Rachel, any encouraging words for people living with schizophrenia?

Rachel Star Withers: Yes. To my people with schizophrenia and the loved ones and whatnot, educate yourself on the people who are treating you. For one, it’s going to really help to build trust between you and that person. When you’re sitting in that office and there’s all these like certificates and degrees on the wall, you might want to read a few of them. I’ll be honest, I usually don’t read them. Because that’s going to help, you know. Who is this person who’s talking to me? They’re not just some random person. And to all of my nurses out there and mental health care workers, I encourage you to tell your patients your basic credentials, kind of give them some reassurance, you know, oh, I’m this type of nurse. I’ve studied blah, blah, blah for so many years. I just think that’s going to build that trust between you two.

Gabe Howard: Rachel, that is excellent advice and along the lines of excellent advice, wherever you download his podcast, please subscribe. Please leave us a review. Rank us, say nice things about us. Rachel and I like hearing nice things. When you share us on social media, use your words and tell people why they should listen. If you’re involved in any sort of schizophrenic support group, please share this podcast with them. We want to go as far and wide as humanly possible. We will see everybody next time on Inside Schizophrenia.

Announcer: Inside Schizophrenia is presented by PsychCentral.com, America’s largest and longest operating independent mental health website. Your host, Rachel Star Withers, can be found online at RachelStarLive.com. Co-host Gabe Howard can be found online at gabehoward.com. For questions, or to provide feedback, please e-mail [email protected]. The official website for Inside Schizophrenia is PsychCentral.com/IS. Thank you for listening, and please, share widely.

Inside Schizophrenia: The Role Nurses Play in Schizophrenia Treatment syndicated from

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whorchataaa · 4 years

Text

Inside Schizophrenia: The Role Nurses Play in Schizophrenia Treatment

Dr. Tari Dilks, Professor and President of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association, joins with insight on what goes into being a psychiatric nurse.

Highlights in “The Role Nurses Play in Schizophrenia Treatment” Episode

[01:14] Doctor sidekicks?

[04:00] The types of nurses

[06:40] Nurse Practitioners

[11:00] Nurses specialties

[13:00] Psychiatric Nursing

[17:00] Where do psychiatric nurses work?

[21:00] Home Health Care

[24:10] Guest Interview with Dr. Tari Dilks

[26:17] How psychiatric nursing is different than other types

[34:00] Be the hope for someone

[45:16] Appreciation for what goes into being a nurse

About Our Guest

Sattaria ‘Tari’ Dilks, DNP, APRN, PMHNP-BC, FAANP

Professor and Co-coordinator of Graduate Nursing, College of Nursing and Health Professions, McNeese State University

www.apna.org

APNA Report: Expanding Mental Health Care Services in America: The Pivotal Role of Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurses

Computer Generated Transcript of “The Role Nurses Play in Schizophrenia Treatment” Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Gabe Howard: It’s weird to think that nursing has anything to do with schizophrenia, when you suggested the topic was like what? How are we going to get an hour out of this?

Rachel Star Withers: I agree. It really blew my mind. Learning what nurses do has actually been incredible because there is so much that goes into nursing.

Rachel Star Withers: Take my blood pressure?

Rachel Star Withers: Oh, yeah.

Rachel Star Withers: And we’ll be right back after this message from our sponsor.

Rachel Star Withers: And we’re back talking about the roles nurses play in our mental health care.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Well, I so appreciate the invitation, Rachel.

Rachel Star Withers: Now you have a really, really extensive background.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Oh god.

Rachel Star Withers: Let our listeners know a little bit about yourself.

Rachel Star Withers: And that’s really awesome to me. What we’ve been talking about on this episode is to like the lay person we hear nurse and honestly, you know, you think assistant to a doctor

Dr. Tari Dilks: Right.

Rachel Star Withers: Of shows when they think of a nurse.

Rachel Star Withers: [00:01:48] So what made you decide exactly to switch over to psychiatric?

Rachel Star Withers: You’ve spoken a little bit, but how exactly would you say psychiatric nursing really differs from general nursing?

Rachel Star Withers: What are the biggest challenges that come along with your profession?

Rachel Star Withers: How do most patients respond to you?

Rachel Star Withers: What would you like to say to people who are in a crisis when they come in contact with you?

Rachel Star Withers: That’s amazing. What helped you kind of come out of your burnout?

Rachel Star Withers: That’s great advice for anyone. That’s awesome.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Absolutely, absolutely.

Rachel Star Withers: Now, what advice do you have for anyone who is thinking of becoming a psychiatric nurse?

Rachel Star Withers: What resources does the American Psychiatric Nurses Association have for those who are interested in becoming a psychiatric nurse?

Rachel Star Withers: And what does APNA do to support people with mental illness?

Rachel Star Withers: Oh, wow.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Yeah. Those are the types of things that a APNA tries to do. They try to be nimble, they try to be responsive and provide resources that all nurses need, really.

Rachel Star Withers: That’s absolutely awesome. Thank you so much, Dr. Dilks. Was there anything that you wanted to promote?

Rachel Star Withers: Awesome. Thank you so much for speaking with us today, Dr. Dilks. I absolutely love this interview. And I personally learned so much.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Oh, great.

Rachel Star Withers: This has been very wonderful speaking with you today.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Well, Rachel, I so appreciate the opportunity to do this. Like I said, it’s a passion of mine. I really enjoy trying to get people to see things a little bit differently.

Rachel Star Withers: Going in, I thought it was gonna be pretty boring, just that, you know,

Gabe Howard: It’s honest, I understand. I understand.

Gabe Howard: She said so many things that I didn’t think about, Rachel, what was the thing that just really blew your mind? That you thought, wow?

Gabe Howard: Rachel, any encouraging words for people living with schizophrenia?

from https://ift.tt/2TnfOiS Check out https://peterlegyel.wordpress.com/

0 notes

ashley-unicorn · 4 years

Text

Inside Schizophrenia: The Role Nurses Play in Schizophrenia Treatment

Dr. Tari Dilks, Professor and President of the American Psychiatric Nurses Association, joins with insight on what goes into being a psychiatric nurse.

Highlights in “The Role Nurses Play in Schizophrenia Treatment” Episode

[01:14] Doctor sidekicks?

[04:00] The types of nurses

[06:40] Nurse Practitioners

[11:00] Nurses specialties

[13:00] Psychiatric Nursing

[17:00] Where do psychiatric nurses work?

[21:00] Home Health Care

[24:10] Guest Interview with Dr. Tari Dilks

[26:17] How psychiatric nursing is different than other types

[34:00] Be the hope for someone

[45:16] Appreciation for what goes into being a nurse

About Our Guest

Sattaria ‘Tari’ Dilks, DNP, APRN, PMHNP-BC, FAANP

Professor and Co-coordinator of Graduate Nursing, College of Nursing and Health Professions, McNeese State University

www.apna.org

APNA Report: Expanding Mental Health Care Services in America: The Pivotal Role of Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurses

Computer Generated Transcript of “The Role Nurses Play in Schizophrenia Treatment” Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Gabe Howard: It’s weird to think that nursing has anything to do with schizophrenia, when you suggested the topic was like what? How are we going to get an hour out of this?

Rachel Star Withers: I agree. It really blew my mind. Learning what nurses do has actually been incredible because there is so much that goes into nursing.

Rachel Star Withers: Take my blood pressure?

Rachel Star Withers: Oh, yeah.

Rachel Star Withers: And we’ll be right back after this message from our sponsor.

Rachel Star Withers: And we’re back talking about the roles nurses play in our mental health care.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Well, I so appreciate the invitation, Rachel.

Rachel Star Withers: Now you have a really, really extensive background.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Oh god.

Rachel Star Withers: Let our listeners know a little bit about yourself.

Rachel Star Withers: And that’s really awesome to me. What we’ve been talking about on this episode is to like the lay person we hear nurse and honestly, you know, you think assistant to a doctor

Dr. Tari Dilks: Right.

Rachel Star Withers: Of shows when they think of a nurse.

Rachel Star Withers: [00:01:48] So what made you decide exactly to switch over to psychiatric?

Rachel Star Withers: You’ve spoken a little bit, but how exactly would you say psychiatric nursing really differs from general nursing?

Rachel Star Withers: What are the biggest challenges that come along with your profession?

Rachel Star Withers: How do most patients respond to you?

Rachel Star Withers: What would you like to say to people who are in a crisis when they come in contact with you?

Rachel Star Withers: That’s amazing. What helped you kind of come out of your burnout?

Rachel Star Withers: That’s great advice for anyone. That’s awesome.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Absolutely, absolutely.

Rachel Star Withers: Now, what advice do you have for anyone who is thinking of becoming a psychiatric nurse?

Rachel Star Withers: What resources does the American Psychiatric Nurses Association have for those who are interested in becoming a psychiatric nurse?

Rachel Star Withers: And what does APNA do to support people with mental illness?

Rachel Star Withers: Oh, wow.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Yeah. Those are the types of things that a APNA tries to do. They try to be nimble, they try to be responsive and provide resources that all nurses need, really.

Rachel Star Withers: That’s absolutely awesome. Thank you so much, Dr. Dilks. Was there anything that you wanted to promote?

Rachel Star Withers: Awesome. Thank you so much for speaking with us today, Dr. Dilks. I absolutely love this interview. And I personally learned so much.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Oh, great.

Rachel Star Withers: This has been very wonderful speaking with you today.

Dr. Tari Dilks: Well, Rachel, I so appreciate the opportunity to do this. Like I said, it’s a passion of mine. I really enjoy trying to get people to see things a little bit differently.

Rachel Star Withers: Going in, I thought it was gonna be pretty boring, just that, you know,

Gabe Howard: It’s honest, I understand. I understand.

Gabe Howard: She said so many things that I didn’t think about, Rachel, what was the thing that just really blew your mind? That you thought, wow?

Gabe Howard: Rachel, any encouraging words for people living with schizophrenia?

from https://ift.tt/2TnfOiS Check out https://daniejadkins.wordpress.com/

0 notes