#managed to talk a bit about it when getting picked up yesterday tho I have a habit of going silent when up in my feelings | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ticklish-touch · 2 years

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Five Nights at Sunny’s Ch 2: Rises the Moon

Mina is determined to get to know more about both sides of the robotic Daycare attendant. But Moon isn’t going to let her pry into their business without consequences... (The playlist used by Mina can be found on Spotify! She probably has more of a variety tho https://open.spotify.com/playlist/60IVlRbUetRevgXUzeB7b5?si=f5383b750afa4817 ) (Chapter One Chapter Two (You are here!) Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five )

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Mina was both excited and nervous for her second day. She’d already gotten attached to the delightful ray of sunshine, and tried to bring along some things to keep the rambunctious robot occupied: her Switch, some other movies, and a set of speakers to play some of her own music. But she also intended to get to know more about his counterpart. Even if that meant another horror-movie wild goose chase through the play structures. ...Especially if it meant that. She didn’t just want to indulge herself in another adrenaline-pumping escapade, though; She was genuinely curious about him. She felt like there was something more there; something both of them felt like they had to hide…

Thankfully, there was no long-winded phone call to sit through tonight; Just a quick slideshow-video on some other tasks to get done for the night. Weirdly, there was some strange garbage noise playing in the background of the video, as if a person’s voice had been recorded improperly. Creepy…

“Heyyyy, Sunnyyyy!” She called out when she entered the daycare. Similar to the previous night, the bot pirouetted onto the ledge, waving at her from way up high before giving an enthusiastic howl as he dove into the ballpit. Is this how he always made his entrance? How’d he get back up there anyways?? She waited for him to emerge; though she wasn’t any less startled when he did. “FRIIIIEND!!” He picked her up and spun her in a tight hug, causing her to squeal and laugh.“I missed ya, Meeny-Beanie!” ”Pfff- Is that your nickname for me now? I’m not a meanie,” she mock-pouted and gave him a gentle push. ”Nonono! Beanie, like beanie babies!! You’re small and squeezable and friend-shaped!” He snuck in some quick squeezes and pinches up and down her sides. ”YEEP-HEEHEEHEHE Okahahayy fahahair enough!!” She jumped back from his hands. He snickered. “SO, whatcha wanna do tonight?? Wanna watch another movie? Play more games? I could put on a puppet show!! ...Oh wait, maybe you’re too old for that– ” She held a hand up to take a turn to speak. “I have an idea. How about I get my paperwork done first, then we’ll have more time to do whatever we want?” “Mmmmm,” Sunny scratched his chin, thinking it over. “Okay!!” He skipped over with her to the security desk, already looming over her as she took a seat. “That means behave yourself, okay?” She reached up to boop his “nose”. “Okaaaay, fiiine,” Sunny put his hands on his hips. He probably would’ve stuck his tongue out at her if he could. “But you can stay around if you want,” She commented. “I kinda wanted to ask you some stuff anyways.” “Ohh? Sure, sure!! I’ll tell you everything you wanna know about me!” He hopped in place. ”That includes questions about Moon, is that okay?” ”Uhh…” Like last night, he became a bit nervous. “M-Maybe. Depends on what you wanna ask!”

As she started to shuffle through her papers and file them away, she thought about how she’d approach this. “The manager on the video yesterday was talking about Moon’s security features. He made it sound like you don’t have any?” “Whaaat??” Sun questioned, sounding puzzled. “Of course I got a Security feature! I’m not gonna let any ne'er-do-wells sneak in here and do whatever they want! I’ll give ‘em the old one-two!!“ He took a stance like an old-timey cartoon boxer, swinging his fists around. "OR I can just shout reeeal loud for the other guys to come help!” He made a sound like he was taking a big deep breath - despite not needing to breathe. “SECURIT–” He stopped as soon as he started; much to Mina’s relief, who had promptly covered her ears from his sudden screech. “ – NEVermind I don’t actually wanna make them think there’s something wrong!” She giggled. “Okay, so how come you don’t go all red-eyed, devil-voiced, Big Bad Monster mode?” Sun gave a big shrug, letting out a nervous laugh. “Th-there’s more to that than just security, haha… Moony gets pent-up at night and has fun scaring the night guards. I told ya, he’s a big jerk.” He rubbed behind his neck, going quiet for a moment. “So uhhh, any other questions for me?” “Sure,” she nodded. “You said you like to wander around at night, yeah? Is there anywhere in particular you like to go?”

The jester hopped up onto the desk to take a seat next to one of the computers, idly swinging his legs in front of him. “Welll, I usually just wander when I’m suuuper bored, the staff doesn’t really want me leaving too much. But since you’re here I don’t gotta go anywhere! Not unless you wanna! OH- but Moony and I do both love the West Arcade.” The west arcade… She’d heard about it from Nate. It was a huge Rave-themed dance hall attached to an arcade, with a humongous robot DJ that could climb across the walls. She’d definitely have to check it out one of these days. “Best part is, there’s such weird lighting down there that we can both switch out whenever we want! Except that…kinda just leads to us getting into arguments,” he sounded discouraged. “He always wants to play all the scary violent games, but I just wanna play the fun adventure games!! He also keeps trying to bother DJ in his sleep,” he huffed. “Soooo we haven’t been down there in a while,” he shrugged. ”Ooh, I see...That’s interesting! You really do have a ton of tricks up your sleeve, don’tcha?” She smiled up at him. "I sure do~!” He giggled and puffed out his chest proudly. ”Hmm... How about the other guys? Are you able to spend time with the band members?” “Welll...Freddy’s… nice, I guess,“ Sun huffed, showing a surprising amount of hostility in his voice for a moment. "But the other guys… Don’t really wanna deal with me,” he sounded a little hurt at the last part. “Chica’s always busy practicing her guitar, Roxy’s always blabbering to herself in the mirror, and Monty’s…uhh…” He laughed nervously and scratched behind his head. “He’s okay sometimes, but other times he…Welll let’s just say I thought Moony was scary… I sure wouldn’t wanna be caught alone in a room with Monty, hahaa... I heard one time there was a night guard crazy enough to spend almost all his time in Gator Golf with ‘im. He never really caused much damage in that time...Maybe he just needed company.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. Mina reached out to tap him on the leg reassuringly. “Well I think you’re a lot of fun, and I’m sure the kids love you!” He hid his face shyly. “Aaaaah you’re too nice, sunshine!! I like to think they do!!” “Speaking of company... Can you talk to Moon? When he’s not out, I mean.”

Sunny shrugged. “Ehhhh, kind of?? We can’t like, talk in our head to each other in the moment if that’s what ya mean...” He hopped off the desk and pantomimed the rest of his explanation. “We can kinda see what’s happening from the other’s point of view, but it’s like we’re watchin’ from behind a TV screen,” he ‘drew’ a screen in the air in front of him. “I can only remember what happened during lights-out after I switch back, and he can only remember my day with the kids after I’ve gone to ‘bed’. Sometimes we gotta be by the light switch in our room just to have conversations, haha! We can access each other’s memory banks, but Moony…hasn’t been letting me into his lately,” he looked down, his triangle rays retracting a little, twiddling his thumbs. “A-Are you almost done?? I wanna play the Switch!!” She could tell he was getting a little uncomfy with all the questions, so she decided not to pry anymore for now. “Yep, almost done!”

“YAY!!” He idly skipped around while he waited for her to finish.

Once she finished her paperwork, Mina went outside to check the nearby locks, hearing Sunny keeping himself entertained in the meantime by singing “How Far I’ll Go” again. When she came back to start setting up the Switch, Sunny hopped around excitedly. “Ooh, ooh, what’re we gonna play?? What games d’you have??” “Welll let’s see; I don’t have nearly as many games as my friend Nate.” She held up some of her physical copies. “I have Breath of the Wild, Pokemon Snap, Animal Crossing, Splatoon 2…” Sunny took the Animal Crossing box, looking it over. “Aww, this one looks cute!” “it is cute! It’s a good game for when you just need to relax.” She directed his attention to her downloaded games. “I also have Luigi’s Mansion, Hades– No wait that one would probably be too much for you… Well there’s also Cadence of Hyrule, Mario Kart 8-”

“MARIO KART?!” Sun’s eyes went as wide as they could manage and he bounced his fists in excitement. “Ohh I LOVE those games!! I’ve never gotten to play this one!” “Okay, Mario Kart it is,” she giggled, getting the steering-wheel controller holders out of her bag and getting comfy next to him. His huge hands barely even fit around the controllers. But despite that, the robot was surprisingly good at the game. Mina had to put in a great deal of effort to keep up with him… And an even greater deal of effort not to swear whenever she fell behind. All of her almost-swears like fudge or shiitake mushroom made him gasp and gently scold her. They kept up their playful competitive banter through each course. Sunny ooh’d and aww-ed at all the pretty graphics. He howled with laughter whenever either one of them flew off the edge of a map, causing him to fall behind and scramble to catch back up. He won over half the races, but was a good sport about it either way, applauding Mina’s efforts. But when it came down to the wire at the championship cup, he started getting even more competitive. And sneaky. “Don’tmessup don’tmessup don’tmessup,” he’d taunt her playfully whenever she was close to catching up. He even had the gall to take one hand off the controller to reach over and sneak a quick tickle-attack right as she was getting close to finishing her second lap. “Don’t mess uuup!!” “YEEE-HEHEHE thahahat’s cheatiiihihing!!” She whined, and out of playful instinct, she reached over and attempted to squeeze his belly, poking and scribbling at his metal torso. Sunny snorted. “Nice try, Beanie, but I’m not ticklish~ I kinda wish I was though, it seems like a lot of fun!” After a few moments, he seemed to get an idea, and a playful twinkle in his eye... He paused the game. “How ‘bout this? If I win, I get a prize!” “A prize? Like what?” He just shrugged. “Mmmm, I’ll tell ya if I win!” “Okaaay, and if I win?” “Mmmmm,” he pretended to think it over. “Thennn I get to give you a reward!” “Alrightyou’reon!” She quickly scrambled to unpause and continue the race without him. “Wha– HEYY!!” He grumbled and worked to catch up.

Just one more lap; both of them were reduced to incoherent squeals and yells as they tried to outdo each other. Try as she might, she couldn’t beat the robot who clearly had much more experience playing these kinds of games all day. He cheered and jumped up to do a victory dance, and Mina clapped for him…. Then he slowly turned to her. “Wellll, Meeny-Beanie, I won! I think I deserve my prize now, and I waaant... to hear you laugh~!” He giggled playfully and wiggled his fingers in her direction. She didn’t even comment; she just jumped up and bolted off. “GOTTA CATCH ME FIRST!” “OHOHO is THAT how we’re gonna play it??” He cackled, bounding after her. She gasped when she heard his footsteps quickly gaining. Holy crap, there was no way he was this fast during their game of tag yesterday! his long spindly legs and spring-loaded ankles carried him very far, very quickly. She barely had time to contemplate which part of the jungle gym to hide in before he took a flying leap and clamped his arms around her, giggling madly. She shrieked from the initial grab, and again when he leaned his disc-like face down against her to blow a ‘raspberry’. While he didn’t have lips, he was able to make his whole face-plate vibrate, and gave off a resounding “PBFFFFRRTTT!!”

“GYEEEE-HEEHEHEHEHE!!” She flailed and tried - half-heartedly - to push out of his grip. “Heeheehee, sorry Sunshine, I can’t resist~!”

After she’d been reduced to a giggly heap again, Sunny helped her up and brushed her off. “Hehehe, thanks for my reward~! That was fun! We gotta play another round!! Unless there’s something else you wanna do?” “Well, yeah actually, I brought a set of speakers with me so I can play some of my own music. I have karaoke parties with some of my friends late at night and you seem like the party type,” she poked his metal chestplate. "Ooooh yes, that sounds fun BUT you don’t have to do that! You can just change the music in the office!” "Really? Am I allowed to do that?“ "I meeean, other staff changes the radio stations in there for the kids sometimes and no-one really cares,” Sun gave a big shrug. “Ya just can’t play anything inappropriate.”

“AWESOME thanks!!” She was already on the way over to the office. She looked around for some kind of radio or CD player; once she found it and got her phone hooked up, she settled on the playlist she used whenever she was visiting her parents: Tame, but still high-energy. She put on “We Like To Party” as a tester song, turning up the volume a little. She went out to see Sunny already vibing to the beat. “I like this song! I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve got some pretty sweet moves~” “Oh yeah? Prove it!” She smiled. Her jaw dropped and she had to resist bursting into laughter at seeing him perfectly pull off some TikTok dances. “Wow, Sunny, not bad at all!” “Haha, thank you~! Some of the older kids showed me how to do ‘em!”

They danced and sang away a good hour of the night, before Mina finally had to take a breather, going over to one of the nearby chairs and plopping down. Sun was still distracted with dancing, but eventually noticed and hopped over to sit in front of her. Taking a seat at one of the tiny kid-sized chairs made his legs jut out comically to his sides. "I’m so glad you’re having fun!!” He rested his chin in his hands. “Haha, yeah, I definitely haven’t gotten to have a dance party at my other jobs like this,” she absentmindedly took one of the nearby pieces of paper and a colored pencil to start sketching. “What other kinda jobs did you have?” Sun mirrored her, getting some paper and a crayon to start doodling. “Journalism, mostly! I go out and write local news reports.” “Oooh, you get to write your own stories? That’s so cool!! “Heh, thank you! It can definitely be fun if there’s enough good sources for it.” Sunny nodded fast. ”…By the waayyy,“ he propped his face on his hand again. "Moony reeeeally wants to go after you again,” he giggled quietly to himself. “Better be ready for that at the end of the night…” “…Why wait till the end of the night?” Mina muttered, keeping her gaze on her paper. “Buh–” the jester balked. “What d'you mean??” Mina fought back the smile creeping up on her face. “Wellll, I kinda wanted to talk to him a little more anyways, and I don’t want to wait until there’s only twenty minutes left to do it.” He quickly shook his head. “I reeeally don’t think that’s a good idea, Beanie; I told ya, he really doesn’t like night guards.” She frowned and tilted her head. “How come?” He just shook his head faster. “H-He doesn’t wanna talk about it.” “Well, I want to talk to him. I’m not gonna pry about stuff he doesn’t want to talk about, I just want to get to know him. I want him to see that he has no reason to hurt me.” Sun anxiously fiddled with his hands; for once, not having anything to say. “Besides… I’m not afraid of him,” she folded her arms defiantly, raising her voice. “If he’s gonna try to scare me off or stop me from trying to have a proper conversation with him, he’s going to have to do better than some silly, simple game of hide-and-seek~”

Sun stiffened up from her taunting. His head became twitchy, some of his triangles began to erratically retract in and out… And his eyes flashed red. A very familiar growl escaped him.

“Oh sh–” Mina’s eyes went wide and she immediately scooted her chair back. Was Moon actually trying to come out?! But he snapped out of it, gasping and grabbing the sides of his head. “Mina!!” He hissed frantically. “Dooon’t!!” She was way too curious now, and was tempted to keep pushing his buttons. But she also didn’t want to cause the sweetheart any more distress. “Sunny… Do you remember what I said last night?” The jester tried to calm himself down. “Ngh.. Y-Yeah…? You really want him to chase you that badly??”

She felt herself blush, and just smiled coyly. “If he’s not gonna hurt me, and if he stops when I say the safew- er, magic word, then…” She shrugged, a bit shy to actually outright say it. “And… I want him to see that he can trust me. I want him to know that I just wanna have fun. I’ve gotten to spend two nights with you now, it only seems fair.” As she explained, the bot managed to settle down. “That’s… Really nice of you, Beanie…” He finally perked back up. “Yeah; y'know what, maybe you should spend some time with him! I want him to make new friends too!” He hopped up to his feet. “I’m gonna recharge first, okay? Don’t turn the lights off yet! I’m… k-kinda afraid of the dark and I don’t wanna have to stumble around for you, haha,” he laughed sheepishly. “Of course, Sunshine,” she smiled. Poor thing. It seemed… Kind of cruel to make a robot that was partially in charge of nap-time afraid of the dark. She waited over by the security desk, double-checking some paperwork and emails. After twenty minutes, Sunny came skipping back over to her. “Alriiight, ya ready?” He playfully ruffled her hair. “I had a lotta fun tonight, Beanie! We’ll be sure to play lotsa games tomorrow!” She stood up, going over to the wall to press the switch. “You’re talking like I’m not gonna see you for the rest of the-”

The bot quickly pressed the light switch first - and, suddenly, grabbed Mina’s arms to spin her around to face him, holding them firmly above her head.

“EEP- S-Sun?!” “I'msorryBeaniehetoldmetodothisrememberthemagicword good luuuck~!” With that, his body jerked and his head slumped over again, starting to transform. But he kept his grip firm on her wrists.

Oh shit. Ohhh shitshitshit. This is NOT what she expected. Was he just going to wreck her shit immediately now?! Ugh, she was SO gonna get Sun back for this!! She tugged and tried to get out of the bot’s grip before he woke up again, her heart rate spiking rapidly. She was once again greeted by that devious chuckle that made her skin erupt in goosebumps. “Helloooo again, troublemaker~” He slowly lifted his head, those vivid red pupil lights boreing into her. “What was that you were saying ealier? You… enjoyed my little game? You think I’m not scary?” Oh crap… So he did hear her. All she could do was swallow back the lump in her throat, giving a feeble nod, a shaky grin creeping onto her flushed face.

He cackled evilly. “Hehehehehe…It’s been SO long since I’ve had a willing plaything… I’ll be happy to indulge you, even if it is way past your bedtime~” His head started to tilt way over to the side, until it had turned upside-down completely. “But if you think hide-and-seek is so boring, then let’s play a different game…” He started to let go of one of her arms… Only to reach over and punch the light switch as hard as he could. It gave off a fizzle and a crack, before a voice responded on the overhead speakers.

WARNING. FAULT DETECTED IN MAIN POWER SUPPLY. TURN ON BACKUP GENERATORS TO RESTORE POWER.

“W-Wait, what?! What did you do that for?!” He gave another gremlin-ish snicker, his head going upright again. “Weelll, you heard him! Go find them, or I’ll have to punish you aallll night long~” With that, he let her go. “RUN~!”

Unable to fight off the rising adrenaline any longer, she obeyed, bolting off into the daycare, hearing his wheezy cackling not too far behind. Welp, she got the chase she wanted, but at what cost? She knew where three generators were. But how many were there altogether? What if she couldn’t find them all?? She knew one was right at the bottom corner of the play structure closest to the security desk. After she flipped it on, she clambered up to the second level; Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Moon’s glowing stars and bright red eyes looking up at her from just outside. “Sunspot tells me you liiiike the tickles, is that true~?” He cooed after her, wiggling his long fingers in her direction. She held back a squeak. “M-Maaaaybe!!” was all she offered as an answer, before she came across another generator, flipping the switch on. The moment she did, she saw the reflection of his red eyes off of the colorful plastic cubby… Realizing he was right behind her. She shrieked and made a dive for the nearby slide. She stopped when she felt like she was far enough away to take a glance back, and saw him peeking his head out of the slide, upside-down. “Heheheh, why run at all, then~? Why not just accept your punishment~?” She only started running again when he started crawling out of the slide and across the floor like the freaking Grudge. “YEEK- W-Well YOU broke the light, so now I gotta fix it!!” “I suppose you’re right~ It would be a shame if you got fired for damaging property, wouldn’t it?” “Oh you ASS!!” she shouted to him. “LANGUAGE!” He shouted back, crawling even faster after her.

She yelped and ducked behind one of the jungle gym panels again, trying to get her bearings. Okay, she remembered there being another generator in the section above Roxy’s face. If she could get to that one via the red bridge and take the big twisty slide back down… As she thought it over, she realized she no longer heard the clicking of Moon’s metal body or footsteps slinking after her. She shone her flashlight around; He couldn’t have gone- OH GOD HE’S FLYING. The jester was quite literally swimming through the air above her. Shining her light higher, she saw that he was suspended by a ceiling cable. "WHY’RE YOU UP THERE?!” He cackled at her exasperated question. “The moon belongs in the sky, doesn’t it~?” With that, he took a nosedive toward her in an attempt to grab her. When she screamed and jumped away, he swiftly disconnected from the cable, tuck-and-rolled forward and continued his search on the ground. As he crept around, he spotted the drawings that Mina and Sunny had made earlier: Sun’s crayon doodle depicted himself with Mina playing Mario Kart. Mina’s drawing showed what looked like some kind of tall red monster-man in a black jester’s outfit. He tilted his head in curiosity. “Don’t leave your messes around!!” He finally growled. “I’ll be confiscating this!” It went silent again as Mina just caught a glimpse of him soaring back up to his tower. He really did just steal their drawings... While she appreciated the breather, it really just made the suspense all the worse. She decided to try and camp out in a more hidden part of the play structure. Maybe she ought to slow her search down a little. She could use this opportunity to try to talk to him. ...Maybe. Orrrr maybe she just didn’t want this game of hide-and-seek to end yet. Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud knocking sound on the plastic surrounding her, making her breath hitch in her throat.

“Knock-knock…~” “U-Uhhh no-one’s home!!” “That isn’t how it works!!” He growled. “Knock! Knock!” “O-Okay okay!! Who’s there?!” “Boo~!” “Uhh...Boo who?”

“Awww, don’t cry~ the Tickle Monster will get you laughing again in no time~!” He gave a wheezy cackle, the lights of his eyes visible behind her again. She couldn’t help but snicker to herself. Okay, that was pretty cute. But she gasped and made a break for it again when she saw his face peering in at her. She decided to try running over toward the Roxy tower again; But in the process, she smacked right into the squeaky barrel tower, knocking it over. “SHIT-!!” Moon snarled and charged over. “RrrRRRH, CLEAN-UP!!” He hissed, pausing the chase to meticulously stack the barrels back up. Mina fought back snickers. “S-Sorry, Moonmoon, it was an acci-” He whipped his head back up to glare at her. Oh shit, no time!! She took off again, but attempted to shout back to him. “Y’know I’ve been trying to get to know more about you all night!! It isn’t fair to make Sunny answer everything, why can’t we just talk?!” “You ask TOO MANY questions!!” He hissed after her. “Now BE QUIET and let me put you in time-out!!"

They kept up the thrilling game of hide-and-seek for a few more minutes; she was able to give him the slip each time he snuck into one of the play structures. She was beginning to wonder if he was letting her escape on purpose, just to keep up the game a little longer. But finally… He cornered her for good. At the bottom of one of the structures, just outside the opaque plastic wall, he kept his head turned away so that she wouldn’t see the reflection of his eyes. He stayed dead-still so that not even a single mechanical click could be heard. She fell for it. She crept out from behind the wall; immediately feeling her heart jump into her throat when she realized he was right next to her. “OH SHIT-!!”

Try as she might to make another break for it, Moon pounced forward and grabbed both of her ankles. “GOT YOU!!” He succeeded in making her shriek and erupt into anxious, excited giggles before he’d even started tickling her again. “YEEE-HEEEHEHE Nooononono-hahaha!!” She kicked her legs. Even if she could escape, she was starting to get tired. She wouldn’t have been able to run far. “You lost my game~ And nowww it’s time for your punishment~” He hastily yanked off her shoes and socks, ignoring her pleading protests, and drilled his fingertips into her soles and the balls of her feet, pinching at her toes. “A-AAEEHEEHEE NUUU-HAHAHAHA!!” She buried her burning face into her arms, giggling and squealing wildly as those merciless fingertips sent ticklish jolts flying through her feet. ”Hehehehe, Sunspot was right, that laugh of yours is cute~ Buuut I want to hear more… I think it’s time to make you really scream~”

The first joints of his fingers flipped open, revealing a set of pointed claws underneath. Her jaw dropped. “W-What the hell do you have THOSE for?!” He draaaagged the pointed tips down her soles, sending her into another fit of squeals and whining giggles. “GYEE-HEHEHEHE!!” Oh god that was SO much worse!! “For security purposes, of course~ But I prefer to use them on silly potty-mouthed night staff~” He trailed his claws back up her soles, along the sides of her feet and even over the tops, causing his helpless captive to loudly whine and attempt to stifle even wilder giggles in her arms. “Now… Admit that you enjoy this~ Admit that you wanted me to catch you all along~” Wasn’t that obvious already?! She was just gonna be stubborn. “M-MAKE Mehehehe!!” He snorted, before responded with another wicked, amused cackle. “How naughty... But if you insist~” He straddled the backs of her knees, a sadistic glint in his vivid red robot eyes as he poised his claws to strike, taking a moment to enjoy her feeble - and very obviously half-hearted - attempts to kick her legs free. Before bringing hell down upon her. His claws rapidly scritched, flurried and raked over the soles, sides and tops of her feet, and all over her toes. He was careful not to actually scratch her, but otherwise didn’t let up for a moment.

She absolutely erupted into squeals and howls of laughter. “YEEEE-HEEEEHEEHEHAHAHAHA MOOHOOHOONN NOOOO-HAHAHAHAHA!!” She pounded the soft floor with her fist, tried to curl her toes and kick her feet free...But after a few more agonizing minutes, she caved. Her legs went limp in the robot’s grip and she just laid there, taking the bombardment of tickly jolts that every scribble of his nails caused. “Hmhmhmh, oh look, your legs fell asleep~” He chuckled at his own bad joke. “But I can’t tucker you out completely if I stay down here~” The jester spun around, and flipped Mina’s position so that she was laying on her back. Experimentally, he tip-tapped his nails against her legs, squeezing and scritching her knees - which instantly let loose more delighted giggles from her. He kept squeezing them up until she attempted to scoot back, to which he quickly straddled her legs. He took a moment to wiggle and flex his claws just above her belly, snickering in satisfaction at watching her squeak and whine and try to suck her stomach in. He skittered his claws against her, starting to drag his hands in slow circles, which quickly became more rapid, spiraling into the center of her belly before circling back out again. "Round and round and round we go... When will I stop? Hell if I know~!" He cackled. "W-WHAHAHAT-!!" She bucked. "YOU CAHAHAN'T GET ON MY AHAHASS ABOUT CUSSIHIHING AND THEN SAY THAHAHAT!!" "Oh, did you think I actually cared about that?" He snorted. "There are no children around. I just enjoy having reasons to punish you~" He let out another sinister chuckle, cracking his knuckles - how could a robot crack its knuckles?? - and attacking her belly and sides twice as rapidly. “Coochiecoochiecoochiee, hehehehe~” “YEE-HEHEHEHE P-PLEEHEHEHEHEASE-HAHAHAHA!!” Mina squealed and whined. “Please what? Please stop? Please keep going? You’re going to have to specify~” The robot snickered, now playing her sides and ribs like a piano, alternating the directions of his arms. “You know the magic word, you can make this stop aaaanytime you want~” She made half-assed attempts to push his arms away, but once again, eventually melted into the attention and laid her arms back, her face rosy-red and her eyes pricked with tears from her laughter. He allowed only a moment for her to catch her breath before changing up his position again. He pulled her into his lap, holding up both of her arms with one of his large hands. “It’s so easy to make you organics totally crumble... Allll I have to do is a little bit of this...” He dragged his claws up her side, before burying them into the hollow of her armpit, and back down again, promptly drawing out a squeal that increased in octave and volume, making her shake her head back and forth. “Hehehe, look at that, I’m playing you like a slide whistle~” “EEEeeeEE-HEEHEEEE SHUT UHUHUPPP YOU JEHEHERRKK!!” Mina whined, trying to hide her face in one of her arms, kicking her feet out. He switched back and forth between each armpit, cooing, taunting, and chuckling. He leaned in and imitated Sunny’s ‘raspberry’ trick against her neck and stomach a few times. When she could barely even squirm anymore, the devilish jester decided it was time for the finale. “Hmhmheheh, this has been fun, buuuut it’s time to end this nonsense and put you to bed!” He scooted to take a seat next to her, trapping her by clamping one of her legs across the top of her collarbones - being mindful not to choke her - and splaying his other leg out to his side like he was doing half-splits. From here, he showed off even more of his flexibility by keeping one hand meanly ticking at her belly, sides and ribs, while reaching way down with his other arm to skitter his claws skillfully against her kicking feet. “NNOOooOO-HAHAHAHAHA!!” She wasn’t going to be able to take much more with the robot going after her feet and her torso. Especially when she heard his servos whirring into overdrive. She lost track of how long he kept up his attack, gasping for breath and tears streaming from the corners of her eyes, until finally, she had to throw in the towel.

“E-ECLIIIHIHIHIPSE!!”

Moon immediately stopped his assault, his finger caps closing back up, allowing her a few moments to pant for breath, some residual giggles still bubbling up from her. He tilted his head as he observed his handiwork. Somehow, that permanent grin looked even more smug than usual. “Awww, poor thing, you’re exhausted~” He cooed, booping her on the nose. “Gee... I wonder... why,” she stuck out her tongue at him. He snickered. “Well, now you’re going to have to sleep.” “I can’t, Moon, I have to stayyYEE-!” He scooped her up in his arms. “Never you mind that. You’re coming with me,” he huffed, “Where I can keep my eye on you.”

Mina groaned and flopped back against him in defeat. She was too tired to try and argue. She just hoped she wasn’t going to have to put “Fired for being tickled half to death by a robot” on her resume. As he crossed the daycare, the bot shuffled in his pocket for one of his Moondrop candies. “Eat this.” She raised an eyebrow. “You trying to drug me?” “It’s melatonin, idiot,” he growled. “You do not have a doctor’s note on file for the other kind.” She snorted back giggles. It was fun pushing this grumpy robot’s buttons. But she conceded, popping the candy into her mouth. It tasted like blueberry yogurt.

Moon took her into a hidden door around the back corner of the daycare, on the same wall as the castle tower mural, and carried her up a couple flights of stairs. “…I don’t understand you silly organics,” he muttered. For once, his gruff voice had a hint of softness. “Always fighting so hard against your natural sleep cycles for no good reason. You’re not machines like us, you know.” She looked up at him quizzically. Was he actually showing concern? When they got to the top, they entered a small, dark room, illuminated only by a small space globe casting constellations onto the ceiling and walls. The room was filled with various clutter of toys, plushies, building blocks, and a huge pile of blankets, pillows and sleeping bags. Moon carried her over to the pile, plopping himself down to lay back against the pillows, hugging his arms firmly around her. “You’re really not gonna let me go, are you?” “Nope~” She sighed, accepting her fate and snuggling up to him. This actually felt kind of comforting… “You’re surprisingly cuddly for someone who hates night guards,” she teased. And was immediately answered by a brief barrage of tickles against her ribs. “YEE-HEEHEE!!” ”You’re….Tolerable. I enjoy having a plaything,” he chuckled meanly. She buried her face into his chest to hide her blush. After a few moments, she spoke up. “Y'know, I was going to suggest watching a movie or playing some games together like I did with Sunny… Or at least talk with you for a little bit.” “I’ll pass.” Mina pouted up at him. “Can I at least ask what else you like to do besides tickling employees half to death? Any other hobbies?” Moon was quiet for a few moments, and she sighed, convinced that he had no intention of answering her. “…When the little ones have gone to sleep, I like to read. And…I enjoy the occasional thriller movie.”

She cheered silently to herself for finally getting something out of him. But she was finding it harder to keep her eyelids open. She let out a yawn. “Mmmmm… Well tomorrow, I’m gonna bring a movie for us to watch. I think you’ll like it.” Moon scoffed. “Bold to assume I’ll allow you the chance.” "Bold of you to think I’ll give up that easily~“ she muttered, before finally drifting off. The robot rolled his eyes. "Annoying…”

He went into standby mode for the remaining three hours of her shift, to conserve power. But he kept his arms crossed around her, his hands poised just below her ribs, just in case she had any ideas about staying up past her bedtime.

#fnaf #security breach #fnaf: security breach #fnaf security breach #sundrop #moondrop #jester #tickling #tk fic #tickle fic #sfw tickles #fanfic

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elysiadjarin · 3 years

Text

Day 3: Dacryphilia

Jesse Cromeans may be a ruthless killer, but at home with you? You’re the one in charge. And especially those days when you’re annoyed at how long he’s been gone and he comes back so desperate for your attention… well. You did so like to see him cry.

Day 3 of Kinktober has arrived! I actually think I discovered some things about myself writing this one, so y’all enjoy. 😂 Find my Kinktober Masterlist here.

Warnings: Minors DNI, this is 18+ content only. This one is a slasher x reader fic, so please beware of mentions of murder and assault as part of the territory, though nothing is explicitly mentioned. PinV unprotected sex, dacryphilia, desperation, cumplay.

Tags: Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull) x reader, slasher x reader, yandere!reader, soft femdom, sub/dom themes

Paint Splatters over Canvas

It was rather funny, really.

You scrolled through your phone, ignoring the giant man standing in the doorway of the room staring at you. Jesse had always made a point of never touching you without your permission. A way for him to separate the meaningless victims of his murderous hobby with you, his wife, his everything. And while of course your relationship stayed perfectly strong, you well aware of his hobby and he well aware of your own tendencies… it did sometimes backfire on him in the best worst ways.

Like now. When you were annoyed with him because he’d been gone an entire day later than he’d promised, extra dark web cash be damned. A promise was a promise, and it wasn’t as though he’d needed the money. He did have a perfectly legal and highly successful business, after all. So shouldn’t you have come first?

You liked revenge cold, playing the long game; something you had in common with Jesse. And today, you certainly had plans put in place for said revenge. Which, for the time being, meant ignoring Jesse. You had plenty to occupy you, from communications for the business to just working on your own projects. Still, you’d made sure to be just nonchalant enough to let him know that it was all so… deliberate.

Jesse shuffled in the doorway, clearly wanting your attention but knowing better than to think any sort of demanding would get him anywhere. He’d learned the hard way that at home, his power over subordinates decidedly did not apply to you. When you didn’t give him any response, he hovered for a moment, clearly trying to decide on what to do next.

You knew how he would get after a mission. Needy. Wanting. Starved for attention and affection from you. Pent up for days, probably thinking about you every spare moment between takes.

With a hum, you typed out a message on your phone before standing and heading for the doorway. You briefly looked up to see him as you brushed past in the doorway. “Oh, hi, Jesse,” you said, giving him a brief, distracted smile. “I’m off to get ready for a meeting with a client.” You headed for the bedroom, already thinking about your next steps.

You could hear him following behind you, could almost feel the mounting despair as he started to realized what was happening. Why you had used his name instead of the usual love, darling. His shoulders hunched, and you could see his face twist as he clearly tried to think of what to do. He already knew that you’d have your revenge however you wanted: apologies would be expected but certainly wouldn’t get him any closer to mercy.

Walking into the bedroom, you headed straight for the bathroom to start preparing. Jesse still trailed along behind you like a forlorn, helpless puppy, and you swore you could almost hear him let out a small whine. Pausing for a moment in front of your vanity, you dialed your friend’s number and set it to speaker, putting it down on the countertop and sitting in front of the mirror.

You tied your hair up and reached for your cosmetics, beginning the process as the phone dialed. Your friend picked up quickly, already in on your plan thanks to your texting. She always approved of your payback plans.

Bestie! I thought you said you had to prepare for the meeting? I mean, yknow, not that I don’t like hearing from you. She cheerfully teased over the phone.

You smiled. “Well yeah, I just sat down to do my makeup. But I mean, we did say we were going to talk about the party for little Jacen this weekend, and what better time than now? You can help me pick out an outfit once I’m done,” you cajoled, noticing how Jesse sat on the edge of the jacuzzi bathtub, unabashedly staring at you. He always had loved watching you get ready for an event. Not that you minded.

Fair enough. Your best friend admitted readily. But seriously, you didn’t have to go all out for Jacen like this. She half scolded. It’s so much!

You laughed lightly, the creamy foundation smoothing across your skin. “Oh c’mon, he’s my adorable little nephew in all but name. He deserves to get spoiled by his doting Aunt, let me have my fun,” you wheedled, knowing she would cave.

She sighed over the receiver. I swear, girl, you could convince anyone into anything.

“Or maybe I’m just your weakness, Miss Mara,” you teased back. The soft brush in your fingers blended the contour onto your face, and you smiled as you glanced at the phone. “But anyway, did you manage to figure out what he might want for a birthday present? Or are we going with my original idea to let him loose in a mall?”

Oh, no, you are so not buying him everything he points at. I’d never get him to not be a spoiled brat if I let you.Mara snorted. I’ll text you what I figured out, he seems to be pretty fixated on it right now.

“Ugh, fineeee,” you sighed, rolling your eyes. “But I’m going to at least get him that adorable motorized scooter I showed you before. He’s going to look so cute riding around in it.”

Fair enough I suppose. Better than the mall idea— wait, did you just get me to agree to something extravagant by threatening something so ridiculous—

“Anyway,” you interrupted blithely, “did you send out invitations to everyone?”

Yep, and I got back all the RSVPs. Speaking of which, I thought you said that you were meeting with the CEO of some business tonight? What’s that all about? I know you, you normally don’t like dealing with people.

You sighed. “Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag a little.” You pouted, reaching for the eyeshadow and liner. “Jesse was supposed to be back yesterday, but since he wasn’t I had to reschedule, and I promised to personally meet with the CEO in order to smooth over ruffled feathers. But besides that… I wanted to be there personally to see my best friend and her husband’s house finally paid off for their fifth anniversary.”

A pause. Then a screech that made you grin. You’re not serious! Babes, no, wait—

“No use protesting!” You said cheerfully, waving your brush. “It’s already been practically settled. Besides, you both need to start saving up for Jacen’s college funds. We did have the agreement that I’d open the doors to whatever college he wanted instead of just paying for it,” you reminded.

Ugh, I don’t know if I want to smack you or hug you, you sly little— Mara groaned. Wait till I tell Damien, he won’t know what hit him. She laughed. Thank you. You know how much it means to us. I won’t scold.

“Good.” You nodded. “And you know I’ll take care of you.”

She sighed. Never doubted it. So, how’s the process?

You hummed, pursing your lips as you finished the eyeshadow and grabbed the mascara. “About to do mascara, then all I have left is the lipstick. But shouldn’t I wait till we pick a dress before I actually pick a color?”

Probably. What’s the mood? You going for boss ass bitch, sultry Queen, or mysterious vampire lady? Amusement laced Mara’s voice.

“You’re not even in my house and yet you walked in and called me out to my face,” you said dryly, earning laughter. Jesse, you saw in the mirror, tilted his head with a small smile playing over his lips. He’d quietly observed the whole processes, eyes fixed on your face.

Only cause I love you. So, show me the closet, girl! Oh, show me your makeup first tho so we got reference.

You picked up the phone as you finished, turning on the camera so she could see your makeup sans the lipstick. She whistled, eyebrows wriggling teasingly as she grinned.

Oh, so mysterious vampire queen it is. She smirked. Closet. Though I do have the feeling that we’re going to be choosing a gorgeous red lipstick.

“Yes ma’am,” you answered, standing and heading for your closet. You heard Jesse stand and follow behind you, and stifled a smile. Flipping the camera, you started to flip through the racks of dresses. “Does that mean we’re leaning towards a black dress?”

Hmm, probably. Actually, how about one of your sleek black ones? The one with like, barely any frills and only a tiny bit of lace at the top. Off the shoulder. If you’re gonna try to assert dominance, probably drawing attention to your mouth and hands is the best way to go.

You tilted your head at the hangers, then nodded. “You’re right. Especially if I go for the red lipstick. I could also honestly use a glass of wine during that meeting,” you sighed.

Mara snickered. Blood in a wine glass? How stereotypical of you, madame.

“You hush, drama queen,” you said dryly, finding the dress she’d described and pulling it out.

Ooh, that’s the one! And I know you have that one crimson shade of lipstick that I always say looks vampiric.

You went back to the vanity and set the phone down, pretending to not notice that it showed Jesse standing in the doorway, clearly staring at you. You slid your shirt off, careful not to smudge any makeup, then slipped out of your pants and reached for the dress. Smoothing it over your front to get rid of any wrinkles, you sat back down and tilted the camera back to yourself, reaching for the lipstick.

“This one, right?” You waved it in front of your face.

Yep! That dress is stunning, by the way. Oh, and what are you doing with your hair?

“Ugh, I don’t really wanna bother too much with it, so I figured I’d go with the… messy, loose waves.” You shrugged, applying the lipstick.

Mara snorted. I think you mean, ‘sorry I’m late I was doing things’ while ignoring Jesse staggering behind you clearly radiating ‘I’m things’ energy.

You half-choked, laughing despite yourself. “Mara-! Seriously!”

She rolled her eyes at you. I’m just saying it like it is. But you go girlie, you look bomb. She laughed. Blow them all away. Be the boss bitch you are. A noise in the background interrupted her. Oop, that’s my cue. I gotta go, text me though okay?

“Will do, tell Damien and Jacen hi for me.” You smiled and hung up, finishing fluffing your hair. Standing, you grabbed the phone and headed for the door. “The meeting is in five minutes,” you remarked to Jesse as you passed him in the doorway. “If you want to join.”

You saw him type on his phone, the text to speech translator sounding a moment later. May I be there with you?

You flashed him a warm smile, as though you weren’t at all deliberately enacting revenge. “Of course! I’d love to have you there. Let’s go.” With a little hum, you headed towards the stairs.

Your phone pinged with a message. Girl, I swear he was drooling. You’re so mean sometimes. Not that he didn’t deserve it.

You suppressed a laugh, replying with one hand as your other slid down the bannister to guide you down the staircase. You know it. Mission so far successful. Wish me luck, I’m about to go into this meeting.

You looked up as you got to the bottom of the stairs, seeing an assistant waiting with the guest. The assistant bowed politely. “May I introduce Mr. Trace, CEO of Finley Bank.”

Giving the assistant a nod, you turned to Mr. Trace. “Greetings, Mr. Trace. Welcome! Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I do apologize for the delay,” you said, taking charge and sweeping towards the parlor.

He followed after automatically. “Of course, Mrs. Cromeans,” he answered, quickly recovering from his moment of bewilderment.

You motioned to a chair, sitting on the velvet couch across the coffee table. “Please, please, have a seat,” you said, keeping the easy smile on your face. “Can I get you a drink? Anything at all?”

He blinked, sitting down and setting his briefcase next to him. “Ah— thank you. I’d appreciate a scotch on the rocks if it’s available.”

“Of course,” you said easily, nodding to the maid standing nearby. “A red wine for me, please.” You smiled at Jesse as he sat next to you. “Your regular?” you asked sweetly. At his nod, you turned back to the maid. “And a glass of dry white.”

She bowed and went to go fetch the drinks.

“I’m sure you have plenty of other things to do, Mr. Trace,” you said smoothly, “so I’ll not take any more of your time than necessary. Of course, as I said, I’d like to discuss several things with you…”

Twenty minutes later found you leaning against the arm of the couch, feet propped up beside you as you swirled the last dregs of the red wine, tapping the glass with your fingernails. The CEO had long since emptied his scotch, and Jesse was on his second glass. His fingers kept clenching around the flute of his glass every time your feet brushed against his thigh.

“Of course,” Trace said with a nod, jotting down the final notes on the paperwork. “Easily managed. Are there any other details you would like to add or anything else to discuss?” He looked up at you.

Your tactics of firm politeness and the scotch seemed to have worked their charm, and you’d been able to rather easily dominate the flow of the interaction. Not to mention, Mara had been right about appearances clearly setting a tone. Trace seemed to be studiously avoiding eye contact with either you or Jesse.

“Not at all, Mr. Trace,” you said, a pleased note in your voice. “I’m rather pleased at how everything has turned out. We do so value your business, you know.” You tilted the glass in your fingers. “Shall I sign the papers?”

“At your leisure.” He slid them across the table toward you.

You slowly uncurled yourself like a lazy feline, straightening yourself and leaning over to set the glass down on the table. Grasping the pen, you slowly signed your name on the papers, eyes glancing over the print to ascertain that everything was in order. Shuffling through the papers, you finally set the pen down.

Trace took them back, glancing through them before nodding. “Everything seems to be in order.” He slid them back into his briefcase. “Thank you as always for your business, Mrs. Cromeans, Mr. Cromeans.”

You nodded, and Jesse stood, setting his glass down. You rose as well, sliding your arm into the crook of his elbow as he automatically adjusted for you. “And thank you for your help, Mr. Trace,” you answered easily. “I do hope you have a productive rest of the day. Do be safe out there.”

He nodded as the assistant returned to escort him out. “Same to you.”

With a hum, you absently patted Jesse’s arm and let yours slide out of his grasp, drifting towards the stairs again. “Oh, I need to go tell Mara it’s all confirmed. Besides, this dress is only comfortable for so long,” you remarked, pulling out your phone again.

Guess who completely owns their house now? You texted Mara, smiling. And your tactics worked, I think dominance was asserted.

You waltzed into the bedroom, headed straight for the closet. “Jesse, are you hungry? I think the food I ordered should have arrived by now, it should be in front of the TV. Maybe pick a movie? I still have a few messages to send.”

You changed into a comfortable black babydoll nightdress, sighing in relief as the silk slid over your skin. It was far more comfortable, and you could feel yourself finally starting to relax after the pent-up tension of the meeting. You really did hate dealing with people, especially ones like the CEO.

Your phone buzzed as you went to go pick it back up. You are literally the best. Now go finish seducing Jesse while I go figure out how to make this news sexy.

Stifling a snort, you went to go wipe your makeup off and wash your face. You could hear the sounds of the TV starting in the bedroom, so you took one more glance in the mirror before heading out into the room, still tapping at your phone. You still had to finish some arrangements for Jacen’s birthday, after all, and your revenge was still percolating.

Jesse’s head turned as soon as you approached the couch in front of the TV. You ignored the way he froze, sliding onto the couch and tucking your feet under a soft blanket. Sending off another message, you set it beside you and reached forward to grab a tray, pulling it into your lap.

“I figured you might not want anything too heavy since you just got back, so I kinda just made a guess and ended up ordering too much…” You frowned at the myriad of food laid out over the table. “Sorry, Jesse… I don’t even know if this is what you want—“

The text to speech cut you off. The food is fine, thank you. I’m sorry for being late. I know I can only make excuses, but I am sorry. Can I make it up to you?

A frown touched your lips as you picked up your spoon, still not looking at him. Your fingernails tapped against the screen of your phone. “Jacen asked the other day if Uncle Jesse would be at his party. I told him I didn’t know, but I’d ask.”

He quickly typed. Of course, if he asked for me, I’ll be sure to be there. His fingers paused, then he slowly typed again, as though hesitating. I got you a present while I was gone.

You hummed, swallowing your food and picking your phone back up. “He’ll be happy to hear it. And thank you for the present.” You sent a message to tell Mara that Jacen’s wish had been granted.

Jesse practically fidgeted as he ate, the movie playing in the background. You could feel his eyes slide from the screen to you, could almost hear the wheels in his head frantically turning. The tension in every line of his body was obvious, his movements stilted and jerky. He practically twitched every time you so much as moved.

Finally, you set down the tray, grabbing a mint to refresh your mouth. Shifting to get more comfortable, you angled yourself towards him a little more. You snitched a piece of food from his plate, letting out a hum as you smiled down at Mara’s message. If possible, Jesse stiffened even more, his fingers clenching so hard around his spoon that it even bent a little in his grasp.

A crumb fell from your fingers onto the lace edge of your nightgown, and you let out a quiet noise of protest as you looked down. Your fingers brushed against the top of your breast, brushing off the crumb. Sticking your finger in your mouth, you typed out a message in response to another conversation. With a sigh, you looked up and glanced over Jesse’s shoulder to see the lamp on the table next to him. Night had fallen, and shadows fell over the room.

Stirring yourself, you sat up, setting your phone down for a moment. “Can I turn on the lamp? I don’t wanna get up for the lights,” you said, starting to lean across him. Almost thoughtlessly, you placed your hand on his thigh and put your weight on it, reaching over his body on your hands and knees to pull at the cord on the lamp. The light clicked on, just as a low keening sound came from Jesse.

Your head tilted at the sound, and you turned to look up at his face. It was your turn to freeze.

Jesse’s face had crumpled, his soft green eyes literally awash with tears. His hands were clenched at his sides, his chest heaving with hitching breaths as he struggled to control his expression. The tears welled in his eyes, and faint color had splashed across his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

Slowly, a smile crossed your lips as you stared up at his face. Leaning back, you tilted your head, licking your lips. “Oh, look at you,” you breathed. “You made all the little piggies cry, Jesse. But maybe it’s your turn, hmm?” Your eyes flickered down to the way his entire body trembled, every muscle taut and strained.

You moved, sliding your entire body into his lap to straddle his waist and face him. Crossing your arms under your chest, you stared into his face. “I don’t know… you broke your promise, though.” Your eyebrow raised at him, and he let out another hoarse whimper. Tears slid down his cheeks, his mouth opening for shuddering breaths.

He shook his head, lips trembling as he lifted one hand and signed. Sorry. Please. Sorry. His fingers spelled out your name.

Reaching up, you cupped his face in your hands. You leaned up, face drawing closer to his. “But I already accepted your apology, love,” you cooed, smiling. “You know what I think?” You slowly dragged your tongue across his tear tracks, your body flushing with heat at the taste of the bitter salt. “I think,” you murmured against his jaw, “that I like seeing you cry.”

Jesse’s breath hitched on a sob, more tears spilling down his cheeks. It was fairly intoxicating, seeing the giant man completely fall apart under you, trapped between his desperation and his personal standards. When you slid forward, your body pressing flush against him, another sob wrenched from his gritted teeth.

You decided for the moment to have a bit of mercy. Reaching down, you grasped his wrists and lifted his hands to your waist. His fingers instantly clenched in the silk babydoll dress, shaking as he grabbed at your waist. His entire body lurched forwards towards you, eyes fixed on your face.

You hummed softly, brushing a kiss to his jaw. “Your eyes are so pretty when they’re filled with tears, Jesse,” you purred, drawing his face closer to you. Still, you refused to kiss him, instead trailing your lips down his jaw, down to his throat. You opened your mouth against his neck, savoring the taste of his skin and the soft scent of his cologne.

Jesse’s trembling fingers jerked against your waist, and he slumped into you. His hands slid over your waist to your lower back, his touch practically reverent as he squeezed. His breaths came quick and fast, breaking occasionally on a sob. Every time you suckled or moved your lips, every time your hands slid down his shoulders, he gasped and shuddered, more tears dripping down his cheeks.

You slid your hands down, starting to unbutton his shirt. Your tongue dragged across his neck, and you felt the bulge in his pants throb against your thigh. “Isn’t this punishment fair, darling?” you cooed. “I only ask for a few tears, hmm? A front row seat to your pretty eyes?”

His head jerked, even though it wrenched another tortured sob from him. Despite the contact, you could feel his frustration mounting.

You pulled back, looking up at him as you finished unbuttoning his shirt. “Oh, you don’t think so?” Your fingers slid across his bared chest, feeling the heat radiating from his skin. “But isn’t this what you wanted? Me, paying attention to you?”

His gasps had turned ragged. His hips jerked, rutting up against your thigh. A strangled noise left his throat, his eyes squeezing shut. His grip on your waist threatened to leave fingerprints against your skin.

“No?” You bit your lip, raking your nails lightly against his chest. “Then what is it you want, hmm?”

His eyes flickered down to your lips, unconsciously licking his own. His fingers clenching, he pulled you down to grind against his cock, straining in his trousers. Pants fell from his mouth, and he kept glancing from your eyes to your lips.

You reached down, teasingly trailing your fingers down his chest and stomach. Unzipping his trousers, you looked up at his face and smiled as you traced one fingertip down the bulge in his underwear. His eyes fairly rolled back in his head, more tears streaming down his face afresh.

“Look at you, already such a mess,” you murmured, sliding your fingers into his underwear. The moment you wrapped a hand around his cock and slid up, you were rewarded with a guttural groan. He gritted his teeth, clearly struggling to stay still. With a soft laugh, you leaned up and brushed a kiss to his ear.

You tugged at his collar. “Why don’t you lie down for me?” you murmured.

He immediately complied, his hands still clamped around your waist as he turned and shifted up, lying down on the couch. He stared up at you, face still twisted in agony and desperation.

Lifting yourself a little, you tilted your head at him. “Take your pants off for me?”

He practically kicked his pants and underwear off in his haste. You guided one of his hands to the latch on the side of your own panties, giving him an amused smile and nod. His trembling fingers unlatched them, his chest heaving as he watched the black silk slide away from your skin. The moment you lowered back down onto him, his cock throbbed against you and his back arched.

Leaning forward, you hummed a pressed a kiss to his jaw. “Jesse, love,” you murmured. “Cry for me a little more?” You cupped his face in your hands, feeling your wetness coat his own length as you ground against his tip. But you deliberately kept shifting, not giving him any steady pressure.

Another broken whine came from him, and a few more tears slipped down his cheeks. Frustration scrunched his face, his neck mottled with red and flushing down to his shoulders and chest, making your white nail marks stand out. His hips jerked, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment.

“Is this what you want?” You pressed down against him again, feeling his cock slip against your wet folds teasingly.

His head jerked in a nod, almost violently. Tremors kept running through his arms, his body occasionally shuddering under you.

You leaned down and sucked his lower lip between yours. Your teeth nipped at his lip, and you finally slanted your mouth over his. Tears poured afresh down his cheeks as he desperately pulled at you, trying to get closer, kiss you more. You relented and let him, thumbs brushing against his jaw as you hummed softly into his frantic, pleading kisses. Without warning, you slipped your tongue between his lips, feeling his mouth part with alacrity. When you finally parted, his green eyes were glazed over with tears, hazily staring at you.

Then you smiled at him slyly. “I think you’ve deserved a little bit more,” you decided.

The moment you slid his tip into you, he choked. Saliva dribbled from the corners of his mouth as he squeezed his eyes shut, struggling for breath. His entire body froze, humming taut under you and his eyes sightlessly staring up at the ceiling.

You observed his wrecked expression, licking your lips with satisfaction. Rarely did Jesse ever fully submit to you like this, usually a brat. But tonight, you had absolute and utter control, and you intended to milk every last ounce of satisfaction out of it. The memories would fuel you for years of his utterly ruined expression, tears slipping down his cheeks as he drooled uncontrollably.

“So pretty, darling,” you purred, licking the tears from his cheek. You gave him another kiss, letting his hands wander over your waist and up your front. “So good for me. Do you think you can handle more?”

His eyes widened, breath quickening. He glanced down, then shook his head jerkily. Then nodded. Then shook his head.

You tilted your head. “Hmmm.” A wicked grin crossed your lips. “No? Oh, but I think you can,” your said, just as you lifted yourself and fully sheathed him inside you.

Jesse sobbed. His mouth opened, tongue lolling as he gasped. Tears poured down his cheeks from the mingled pleasurable pain and relief. His cock throbbed inside you, and his hands grasped desperately at your thighs. His entire body started to shake, arching.

You barely gave him time to adjust before you were already bouncing on him, hands braced against the back of the couch. Laughter spilled from your lips, delighted and cruel, as his hands scrabbled against your thighs, raking across your skin. Moans kept being torn from his throat, your name framed on his lips.

As soon as you angled your hips and brought your fingers down to ring tight circles on your clit, you hissed in pleasure. You pulsed around his cock, earning another helpless sob and wave of tears. He just hit that one spot inside you perfectly, again and again, until you bit your lip and moaned his name as you came around him. Your body clenched down on him, even as you kept fucking yourself through your orgasm.

More laughter spilled from your lips. “Are you gonna cum for me, Jesse, my pretty darling?” you asked breathlessly, purposely moaning his name. “Gonna cum inside me?”

The only warning you got from Jesse was another sob and the gritting of his teeth. His hands flew to your hips, slamming you down on him one more time before holding you there with an iron grip. Gasps tore from his mouth, his eyes trying to blink away tears as he stared up at you.

You hummed, caressing his hands and arms as you bit your lip in satisfaction. He kept pouring into you, his hips jerking once in a while and wringing a whimper from him. Finally, you leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. His lips parted under yours weakly, chest heaving under your hands.

“Thank you, Jesse,” you cooed sweetly between kisses. “You’re so good to me, make me feel so good.” Your mind fuzzed with the pleasure of both your high and the sight of his tears.

He pushed up against you, kissing you fervently. Though he didn’t say a word, you could feel his thoughts through his drugged, sloppy kiss.

You giggled, teasingly clenching down on him one more time and earning a jerk and grunt. “And I forgive you. But don’t do it again, okay?”

Jesse’s calculating look as he clearly weighed the consequences made you roll your eyes but laugh. Maybe this one would turn out to backfire against you, next time.

You decided it was worth it.

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thekidsarentalright · 3 years

Text

Fob Survey Results

Hi! So, a few days ago I made a post asking u all to take a survey i made so i could, basically, just see the different opinions in the fandom and nearly 400 people responded, which is crazy! I didn’t know that many ppl still were in fob bandom 😳 Anyways, without further adieu, the results are enclosed below under the cut!

First, I wanna start with some disclaimers or lil housekeeping things. The first thing I wanna mention is that, obviously, this sampling of people is small compared to every single fan of them ever but regardless of that i’m still gonna be referring to it all very generally just bc that’s easier for me lol. Next, I made a pie chart for every single question just so there was a visual of it but a few of them are a bit stuffed, just because the sheer amount of variety in peoples answers, which is great! But I just wanted to warn, and assure that i’ll be breaking down the charts a bit below the pictures so it’s more comprehensible. Also everything is color coded to try and make it a little easier! Lastly, more info and like discussion about any of this is totally welcome! if u have q’s, ask me!

Question 1: When Did You Become A Fan?

This chart is one of the more comprehensible ones, thankfully. It shows that the era most fans became a fan was srar era, with 104 people answering that. The era with the least being tttyg era with only 5 people (technically pre-tttyg era/folie era since no one answered those). It’s so cool, to me, to see such a variety of answers! Fob rly are timeless 😌

Question 2: What’s Your Favorite Album?

I feel, for me, this one wasn’t a big surprise. Folie is clearly the fan favorite with 37%, while take this your grave is in last with only 9 people saying it was their fav. Again, lots of variety in this which is pretty cool to see! (also sorry that ab/aps name got cut off lol)(Also also justice for abap and mania)

Question 3: What’s Your Favorite EP/Non-Album?

Here, Lake Effect Kid Ep dominated the results with 126 people saying it was their favorite. B-Side was sort of close behind, with Pax Am Days in third. Here, what surprised me, was that anybody answered with eowyg or llamania, tbh. And, though I didn’t include it in the chart, 7 people answered saying they didn’t have a fav or hadn’t ever listened to one of them!

Question 4: Who’s Your Favorite Member?

This was one of the most biased questions with nearly 50% of u saying Patrick is your fav. I expected that, though I thought it’d be more of a battle between him and Pete. The only thing rly worth saying, ig, is that Andy and Joe deserve more love :(

Question 5: Favorite Fob Related Artist?

When I made this question and put mcr as an option I knew they’d be number one, so that’s not a shocker, to me. Here are your guys’ top 3 fob adjacent artists: 1. My chemical romance 2. Paramore 3. Panic! at the disco And, honestly, rest didn’t stand a chance against those 3 which I kinda expected but it is nice to see Some people appreciating cobra and gch! (Misc. answers included bands like idkhow, waterparks, as well as green day and elton john! Lots of variety!)

Question 6: What’s Your Favorite Song?

This question is where it starts to get a bit messier. I did my best to make it as clean as possible, but it still def looks a little wacky (sorry). According to you all, however, your top 3 favorite fob songs are as follows: 1. Disloyal order 2. (Coffee’s for closers) 3. Hum hallelujah Now, I am not at all surprised that disloyal order is that high up there, nor does hum hallelujah surprise me but coffee’s for closers kinda does! I’m also shocked that ginasfs isn’t higher. (where’s tkaa tho)

Question 7: Most Underrated Song?

Luckily, I managed to get this one a bit more organized looking (in my eyes) but, again, sorry if it’s messy! Regardless, according to you all, the top 3 most underrated fob songs are: 1. You’re crashing, but you’re no wave 2. From now on we are enemies = Headfirst slide 3. Twin Skeleton’s (Hotel in NYC) = Coffee’s for closers What is the funniest, and most interesting to me here, is that there are so many ties and also that 2 of these songs (Headfirst slide and coffee’s for closers) were in your top 5 favorite songs... making them clearly not underrated. I was delighted to see you’re crashing at 1, though. It hits hard.

Question 8: Most Overrated Song?

Now, with this one, I fully expected the results I got. It was very predictable: The singles are the most overrated. Something about them playing nonstop on the radio 6+ years ago rly bugged y’all (/j). Here are your top 3 most overrated songs: 1. Centuries 2. Uma Thurman = Immortals 3. My Songs I’m very very stunned to see what a catch on there. And to all the people that said mania and the kids aren’t alright: ow :(

Question 9: This Or That 1

All the this or that’s are pretty self-explanitory, I believe. By a very thing margin, you all prefer sugar over thnks fr the mmrs!

Question 10: This Or That 2

By another very thing margin, wams beat out just one yesterday.

Question 11: This Or That 3

A pattern you’ll notice is that all of these are super close... once again, by a thing margin, Immortals (famously disliked) beat out champion (even more disliked apparently)

Question 12: This Or That 4

This one was ridiculously close the entire survey, for a majority of it pavlove was winning, actually. But, at the very end, from now on we are enemies won it 183 to 146.

Question 13: This Or That 5

Lastly for the this or that series, we have the most biased one. I thought this would be closer, but clearly you all have a Lot of love for disloyal order, picking it over the kids aren’t alright 240 to 105. That’s fuckin crazy.

Question 14: What’s Your Favorite Lyric?

For this one, so many people answered so many different lyrics all presented in a different way that I physically could not bring myself to organize them like i did the previous song questions. So, I present to you the songs that were quoted/referenced the most and therefore are precieved to have the best lyricism, according to you all. The top 3 most mentioned songs are: 1. Disloyal order (shocker) 2. Hum Hallelujah 3. Wams = Miss Missing You What surprised me the most here was that apparently overrated songs appeared, with a few people mentioning centuries, my songs, what a catch among others. And that disloyal order once again came out on top.

Conclusion: What I learned from this is follows; the fob fandom (on here) is made up of people with somehow both very varied and yet congruent opinions. We might not all have the same favorite album or ep but we do all lose our minds to disloyal order and think that patrick is the best which i think is just beautiful. (Feel free to come into my inbox and talk to me about this!! Naturally, I have all the data- the stuff that’s hard to see or wasn’t shown on the charts is interesting too. I’d love to talk about any of it!)

#this was a gigantic undertaking and labor of love my god #anyways this better get notes!! u better rb it!! i did not waste away for nothing!!#(in all seriousness this was very fun and interesting and i would love to do something like it again. i hope u all enjoyed it too #and that i presented the data in a way that made sense. i am very worried that it doesnt make sense but im sure it does gksjfk)#txt

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keisurin · 3 years

Text

station 16 ; kuroo tetsurou

masterlist

33 // 34 // outro

you swung your legs freely under the seat on the train. i wonder what we’re gonna do today, you pondered. whenever you met up with kuroo it was usually you who initiated it. if ever kuroo did ask you to do out ith him its usually to try out a new restuarant he didn’t want to go alone to so that’s what you assumed. the train came to a stop and onces you exited you spotted kuroo, back rested onto a pillar the train station had.

“hi shiro!” you smiled tugging onto his shirt. “morning y/n, you hungry?” “a bit.” you found yourselves eating at a street food isle, picking up whatever you could. you both ate on the side of the street and talked about whatever. despite you have a job, needing to commute a lot more than usual since you haven’t left karasuno yet, you always managed to spend time with kuroo. it made you realise you’ve never given so much effort or time management just to see someone. if you were lucky you both would see each other by coincidence at station 16 after you left work.

“so kuroo, was there any particular reason you wanted to meet up today?” you saw his ears perk up like a dog or cat and they got red. “uhm, you we’re free today right? you’re usually off at work so i wanted to treat you today,” though it didn’t sound genuine, you just nodded at him but he had more to say. “after this, i want to take you somewhere.” “surprise me,” you grinned at him.

after eating you both threw away any trash you had then you allowed kuroo to lead the way, ocasionally stopping him to take some photos. “how much more can you walk?” kuroo looked at your limping self. “uh. 2 more steps?” you stretched a little. you didn’t think this journey would be so long, if you have known, you wouldn’t have worn platform boots for your outfit to pop. kuroo laughed and spautted down. “what?” “either you get on my back and ill walk you there or you walk on your own up that hill,” he offeredwhile you simultaneously lounged yourself onto him. “up!” you clinged onto him.

he walk was peaceful, you both hummed songs, cracked some jokes and you keptasking what’s up there. he would always replywith a “you’ll see.”

after a few more minutes, kuroo picked up the pace and speeded up. “hey! kuroo chill- we’re here!!” he exhaled. you hopped off his back and saw the scenery. cherry blossoms surrounded the area, kuroo saw the way your eyes sparkled the sight, “according tsukishima, you like cherry blossoms.” “yea- i do.”

“go on, take your photos,” he smiled at you. after looking around a bit and taking a bunch of photos kuroo spoke again, “y/n can i borrow your camera?” “just don’t break it,” you said as you handed it you him. “i don’t feel like dying today, so i won’t,” kuroo knew if anything happened to your camera, that would be the end of him. you taught kuroo how to use your camera before and he knew what it could do. deciding to take a video, he put it on that setting and balanced it on the thick fence. “what do yo think you’re- hey!” kuroo was slick with his moves. he smoothly placed you infront of him and you both centred the camera.

“uh, what’s up?” you awkwardly spoke. “don’t be so shy y/n,” he whispered. the intimacy between you two scared you but it felt nice. trying to stay serious, you looked into his eyes but it completely failed. you both could never take each other seriously. “kuroo what is it!!” you were dying out of curiosity. you really had no clue? didn’t even take a hint? is what kuroo as thinking, it went to the point he had to spoon-feed it into you, “y/n i really like you, in that romantic way.” the words played in your head again and again. all of a sudden you felt like the world was shining again and you felt your yes sting from the small bits of tears that were forming. “you’re joking,” you scoffed. “why would i joke about something like that?” he had a point.

you took a breath, kuroo had his hands on your waist, “i want you to know it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, ill still be there for you no matter what,” he reassured. tsukishima did spill everything to him yesterday about how you felt on kuroo, even sent screenshots but he wanted to hear it from you.

“gosh kuroo i like you too, so so much, how can i not?” you dug your face into his chest. he pulled you closer and hugged you tighter. you separated and shared a laugh, “gosh y/n, you’re such a simp!” he joked. “eh? like hell i’d simp for you?” you quoted trying to imitate his voice. “true true.” it was really cold and the camera was still running. “um, so, how to you feel about dating?” kuroo just wanted you both to be exclusive. “i would like that a lot.”

that was the most sentimental moment you’ve ever had with him, it sort of shocked you on how vulnerable you could be and it just continued when he pulled you in for a hug. you tilted you head up to see his and there it was the almost kiss was completed. after parting you both held in you smiles. kuroo took your camera and stopped recording. “ah why did you record this?” “memories no?” you collected the camera and realised that you did tend to take lot of videos of this you found beautiful so you were thankful he filmed it.

you never thought the one would be dating is kuroo, you didn’t think the place you’d get a confession in would be this beautiful let alone think anyone would love you like that. you just happened to get lucky and end up meeting him.

this day, you took so many phots of he both of you that the storage on your camera was full. was worth it tho.

taglist status: closed

taglist - @roseonfireinwinter @chaelysian @june-phantom @starry-sunrise @montys-chaos @dae-kirei @mx-minxx @cece-lives-here @dekumiya @chokemelevi @animewithmemes @anhphunnnn @firebonbon @vanilla-beanzz @princessmidas @shslmel @itsaboutmexthem @deimmortales99 @peteunderoos @airheadpillar @princeabomination @yafriendlyfangirl @krxstynnn @mxshimoo @nekomateammanager @listless-motion @heyheysey @ntngann @hadeswh0re @doublekrecs @boosyboo9206 @prcttylittlcthing @rachelexe @simpletype @hallothankmas @euphorihan @kisskenma @bellesowl @just-snog-already @kageyamasgirl @shigarakiskitten @elianetsantana @makemealive @saturnfarie @fckkei @amberisnotcrazy @iloveyouasmuchaspoohloveshoney @sbaepsae @mint-mai @winunk

#station 16!#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo smau #kuroo x y/n #kuroo #haikyuu smau #hq smau

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moldy-mold · 3 years

Text

small improvements little by little

I changed my tune this year by going into it and accepting what happens without stressing too much. And strangely enough, things got better.

I think 2021 will be the year of recovery because I’ve already had a couple of interviews in the last two weeks! Hopefully I’ll land something soon! Same goes for a couple of other friends. The time is ripe for applications...

Small changes go a long way these days so I’m just gonna list out some things that helped me so far.

Rearranging my room and decorating. It’s nothing special but I’ve been quite happy with my new setup! Yes, I also rotated the desk 100 times like in Animal Crossing before I was happy.

New smells. I used to be lukewarm about candles but now I’m obsessed. I spend a lot of time in my room so having it smell good when I walk in helped quite a bit with my mood and productivity. Plus if I’m just reading/drawing in bed, lighting a candle is so relaxing...

Stretching. My morning routine has changed so drastically. Since I can afford to take my time now, I do so. 5 minutes of stretching after getting up helped me with my tired achiness. My grandma bones are happy.

Skincare. It’s my new hobby of 2021?? I actually get so excited in the morning and at night bc I can use my skincare products. I feel super accomplished when my complexion cleared up. Listen, life is about the small accomplishments that keep you going.

Commissions. I rarely ever advertise commissions because I did not have the discipline to do them. But I have recently taken them in secret and they have actually grounded me. It gives me a clearer goal with a monetary reward besides getting more notes/likes/rts/rbs. Also, I have made people happy and I am appreciated in turn. It also gives me something productive to do on my off days when I cannot think of what to do.

Vlogs. They are my new source of entertainment besides scrolling through social media. I’ve actually learned so much about how to improve my life because of the people I watch. This account is especially good on productivity, skincare and ways to relax.

Reducing Social Media. Remember how I used to get so stressed when I didn’t know how to manage my accounts? Like, am I a Tales account or am I a Gundy account? Will everyone I ever know and love abandon me for liking something else? These problems don’t matter anymore and I’m happy about it. In a way, Tumblr became my haven. I feel I can honestly express myself here and not be stressed. It’s not an art blog, tales blog, gundy or anything like that. It’s just everything I’m interested in because I’m not made up of one thing.

I actually saw some pretty unfortunate things during my 5-minute periods on Twitter. Somone made a careless comment and their friend blocked them and started trash-talking them got their followers started to do the same. It disappointed me because I thought they were all friends for a while now. Couldn’t they talk it out instead of cutting their friendship off so easily? It just makes you Realize things, you know? Is this is what happens when you get a large following? I don’t think I want that.

Part-timing. I really didn’t want to sit around waiting for my office job to happen. So I picked up a part time job at a Korean cafe. I get to talk about pastries, cakes and make the occasional drink. It’s my first retail job ever so it kind of opened my eyes to how physically taxing it is for such a small pay. Let’s just say I ended up sleeping a lot after my shifts... But it’s what you make it out to be. It’s not so bad once you get used to it! I enjoy chatting with the owner who is a nice little Korean lady who speaks Korean to me as if I understand a word she’s saying. I can figure out what she’s saying by her hand motions tho lol! I only work some days, the other days I’m doing commissions. A good balance that I’m happy with.

Baths. I’ve never chilled in a bathtub in my life. What was I thinking?! I bought some bath stuff that smells so good and I just chill in the tub for about an hour every week. It. Is. Awesome. It gets the ideas flowing, and it effectively slows down my life if I’m doing too much. Highly recommend. There is a magical feeling to be engulfed in aromatic bubbles. My aching muscles just melt away and I get to experience what a cooked noodle feels like. (it’s great.)

I’ve decided I’m going to buy more plants for the apartment as well to spruce up the place. Just got a red tulip yesterday. As it is a tradition to name all my plants, I named the new addition Quattro.

Thanks for reading - until next time!

#diary

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kpopscenario · 4 years

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You can’t even reach my neck

Pairing: Reader x Park Seonghwa

Genre: Fluff, a little bit of angst(??)

Word count: 12.2K

Summary: They’re best friends and have feelings for each other but they both don’t know about the others crush, Seonghwa comforts her after another bad date. (Basically friends to lovers college!au)

Warnings: Some strong language (but not too much) and Hongjoong is portrayed a little bit off

“Do I look like a whore?”, she asked for what seemed like the millionth time today. She looked at herself in the mirror, still with a frown on her face and still not happy with the outfit she had on her body. “No matter how many times you ask, the answer won’t change, yes you do.”, and there it was again, also for the millionth time. She didn’t take her glance away from the mirror, this time she wasn’t looking at her reflection though, but at the guy behind her laying on her big bed, still with the same somewhat annoyed but also amused expression on his face. “You’re not helping Seonghwa, you’re here to give me advice and not to say the same thing about every outfit I try on!”, she exclaimed as she turned around, now directly looking at him with a stern expression, Seonghwa just stared back at her with amusement in his eyes. “I told you that I liked the first outfit the most.”, “You mean the big sweater which basically covers my whole body?”, she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. Seonghwa just nodded which made her frown even more.

“I’m going on a date, the big sweater would look like I didn’t even try!”

“Well, the thing is, you shouldn’t try.”, he simply replied with a sigh which also made her sigh.

“I know you don’t like him but-“

“I hate him.”

“Fine, I know that you hate him, but this date is really important to me Seonghwa.”, she said a little softer this time, a pout already forming on her lips. She had known Seonghwa for years, they were in the same class all throughout middle school and high school and now that they were in college they still didn’t even think about going parted ways, after all they were best friends and they couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be without the other one. She knew him like the back of her hand. She always knew what would cheer him up or make him sad, she knew how to make him laugh and how to get what she wanted, Seonghwa is like a book she had read thousands of times without it getting boring because whenever she’d read it again she’d find out a new detail which would only make her like him more. She was definitely whipped but would never admit that, she even has a whole list of things Seonghwa likes and doesn’t like on her phone and if that wouldn’t be embarrassing enough, she also updates it every few weeks, yeah, she knew Seonghwa so it was no surprise that she also knew how to act to finally get what she wanted.

“If you give me some good advice, I’ll come to your next dance class.”, she said with a small smile which made him raise his eyebrows a little hesitatingly. “Deadass?”, “Deadass.”, she smiled happily as he sighed once again and sat up properly on her bed to look at the pile of clothes next to him.

He really didn’t want to do it, he didn’t want to help her pick an outfit for her date, he just wanted her to change her mind and say something like ‘you know what? Fuck the date I’ll just stay here and watch some Netflix with you’, but she didn’t say that and it made him feel like a little child that doesn’t get to stay at his friends’ anymore because it was already too late. The thing was that he knew who her date was, he didn’t know him personally but he had seen him around hundreds of times, his name was Hongjoong and he never really cared about this dude, he only knew that he had the reputation of a pretty heartbreaker and he wasn’t surprised. He had seen him getting drinks poured over his head, girls screaming at him in the middle of the hallway and girls writing down mean things about him in the girls bathroom (yes he had been in the girls bathroom exactly once because the men’s bathroom was way too much of a mess so he decided to go to the women’s one since he knew no one was there, he really enjoyed reading the things written on the walls and even had a little ego boost after reading his name with a heart around it), but that dude still managed to get his best friend to go out with him on a date and that didn’t sit right with Seonghwa.

The other reason why he really didn’t like the fact that he’d take her on a date was the fact that Seonghwa had a big crush on her since 6th grade, he thought that he maybe was a little selfish when he tried to talk her out of the date but he had strong arguments. The thing is that in the beginning he wasn’t aware of his feelings for her, he only thought that she was breathtakingly beautiful and a very funny person to be around since she laughed at his dumb jokes back then, but once she had her first kiss in front of him at summer camp with that damned guy named Yeosang he knew that there was more, he had been staring at Yeosang with such an intensity and anger that the poor guy didn’t even dare to talk to him for the rest of their time there, he felt a little bit bad but also satisfied with the outcome. Ever since then he had been very protective of her, he’d cringe whenever their friends would tell her that he seemed like her big brother and he’d give all the guys she ever dated the same look he gave Yeosang back then at the camp (the guys weren’t as scared as Yeosang was back then but they definitely tried to avoid eye contact with him which somehow made him feel like he achieved at least something.).

So it’s fair to say that he was pissed, how dare this guy who obviously wasn’t good enough for her come around and take her on a date while he had to sit at home and eventually comfort her because he treated her wrongly? His best friend never had too much luck when it came to dating and it on one side made him feel good because that meant that there still might be some hope for him to finally grow balls to ask her out or confess his feelings, but on the other side it made him feel horrible, he just couldn’t see her hurt.

Whenever she’d call him in the middle of the night while crying his heart would just burst into millions of pieces, whenever he’d see her being treated badly his blood would be boiling and whenever he’d see the disappointment in her face when the guys suddenly wouldn’t text her back just made him feel like shit, in his eyes she was the most perfect creature that had ever existed, he never in a million years would even think about hurting her or giving her anything less than the world, but others didn’t see her the way he did.

He looked around for a little before picking out some high-waisted black skinny jeans and a dark red blouse that stopped where the jeans started. He made sure it wasn’t too revealing but still pretty (even though he knew she could wear straight garbage and still look drop dead gorgeous) and handed it to her with a sigh. “There you go.”, he said with a small smile since their fingers lightly brushed. They often touched, it wasn’t anything special, they cuddled, playfully hit each other and comfort each other with touches but they still had the same effect on him like they did a few years ago. His heart would slightly speed up and he couldn’t hide a smile, he’d feel warm inside and craved a little more, he wanted to have her hand inside of his but he knew that that wasn’t an option for now so he just plays it cool and acts like there isn’t a small firework going up inside of him whenever they’d share the tiniest bit of affection.

“I swear to god if I look like a clown I’ll kill you.”, she suddenly said with a frown which only made him chuckle and lean back again. “You’re like 5 feet tall you can’t even reach my neck.”, “I can reach your ankles tho.”, she just replied, this time also with a giggle after he just rolled his eyes at her. “You would never dare to hurt me.”, he said with an offended undertone which only made her giggle a little louder and his heart swell a little more. “Touché.”, she replied with a smile as she walked towards the bathroom which was connected to her room to try on the combination Seonghwa has chosen for her. The smile on her face didn’t vanish while she tried on the clothes, being with Seonghwa was just so… easy.

She couldn’t remember the days they weren’t friends, it seemed like she had known him her whole life. It seemed like yesterday when she got to the classroom where nobody would sit with her except for Seonghwa, at first she didn’t like him because it was a known fact that boys have cooties but once she got to know him a little more she was willingly ready to get them too if it meant that she could be his friend. He always had that warm comforting smile that would immediately bring up her mood, that smile made her feel warm inside and kind of complete, she felt comfortable with him, she felt like she could share her weirdest dreams or biggest fears with him without being judged (too hard) and she felt like no matter what happened, no matter how fucked up the world around her was, no matter how much the people around her changed, she could go back to him and his smile that felt like home and everything would be okay.

She never shared those thoughts with him and how deep her feelings for him were, she was too scared of fucking up something this important to her so she kept quiet and tried to drown her feelings in numerous dates and flings, trying to find something that would make her feel just as good as Seonghwa, someone that also felt like home, but nothing came close and she felt how her feeling for him only got more intense and more serious over the years, she was helplessly in love with him and she knew that those pathetic little dates wouldn’t change a damn thing, she knew that they would only make her feel worse, ironically enough she wasn’t too scared of the pain since she knew that Seonghwa would always catch her if she falls… and he makes some good ass kimchi fried rice which definitely was also a huge factor as to why she had fallen for him.

“What do you think?”, she asked a little unsure as she stepped out of the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror again. She tilted her head slightly as she looked at Seonghwa’s reflection, he had a blank expression on his face with a little frown. “Nope.”, he replied after a while which made her pout slightly. “Huh? Why?”, she asked as she straightened her blouse and looked at herself again. “You look way too good.”, he said with a sigh which only made her laugh out loud due to the sudden confession, she didn’t expect that and felt her face heat up a little.

She shook her head as she walked towards her accessories to pick a matching pair of earrings and a simple necklace. Seonghwa watched her while she was picking out her accessories and bit his lip unconsciously, he was lost in his thoughts and smiled slightly as she turned towards him again. “Thank you for the help.”, she said softly as she looked at herself once again.

“That’s what friends are for, right?”, he stated with a bitter undertone, she felt a little sting once he had spoken those words and her face dropped a little but both of them didn’t notice the others’ reaction, the resulted silence in the room felt a little tense so she eventually sat down next to him onto the bed and leaned against his shoulder which slightly made him smile and side eye her for a few seconds. “You know… the offer to watch Netflix is still out there…”

It was now around 6:30 pm but Hongjoong was nowhere to be found. Seonghwa has dropped her off at the place she and Hongjoong supposedly decided to meet up but she had been waiting there for 30 long minutes and he still wasn’t there, she even checked her phone numerous times to see if she maybe got the place or time wrong but after checking it for the nth time she figured that he was just late, really late at that. She even texted him after a while asking if he was on his way but he didn’t text back, Seonghwa has told her in the car that if anything happened or if she didn’t feel like meeting up with him anymore she could just call him and he’d be on his way to pick her up which kind of made her feel better, but she wanted to give this whole thing a chance even if the red flags were basically everywhere.

They both went to the same anatomy class and she’d be lying if she said that she liked him from the beginning, he was always extremely loud and didn’t take anyone serious which kind of made her feel like she might go up to him one day and just tell him to get his shit together, but she was nice so instead she had decided to go up to him and rather tell him to be a little more quiet to which he only had responded with a wink and a big cocky smile.

What happened afterwards kind of confused her too but this guy was really convincing, maybe it was his beautiful face, maybe it was her desperation to finally distract herself from Seonghwa, she couldn’t tell, but here she was, the sun already gone and her hands freezing. She checked her phone once again, this time a little more aggressive than before, she actually played with the thought of telling Seonghwa to pick her up, yes she would have to listen to his speech about how his gut never betrayed him and how he just knew how people are but at least she could be covered by a nice blanket, cuddled into his arms watching the new season of ‘American horror story’, the thought of that made her smile softly and feel a little warmer inside but she quickly stopped smiling though since she noticed that this weird elderly lady at the bus stop in front of her was watching her with confused eyes, she must have looked like a fool but she just played it off by looking away and fixing her coat.

After another five minutes she finally spotted her date coming into his direction, she expected him to be out of breath, maybe with a guilty expression on his face but no, he walked up to her like there was no rush and just greeted her with his million dollar smile, she actually felt like she could punch him. “Ah sorry, I’m a bit late, lots of traffic y’know.”, he simply said once he stood in front of her. ‘Fuck you’, was what she actually wanted to say, but the only thing that left her lips was: “Ah, don’t worry it’s okay!”, she roller her eyes at herself on the inside and followed him wordlessly inside the McDonald’s. She has watched that McDonalds for more than 35 minutes and the only thought she had had in her head the whole time was ‘please don’t tell me that he wants us to eat here’, it was a small, overfilled McDonalds filled with teenagers who were way too loud and kids who were even louder. She was really close to asking him if they maybe, possibly could go somewhere else but he walked into that McDonalds with so much determination and confidence that she didn’t even have the chance to say something (she also still was very much freezing so she was glad that at least that problem would soon be fixed.)

Once they were able to make their way to the queue that was way too long he finally turned around to face her and properly looked at her, or better said stared at her body with such an intensity that she wished that she had worn the big sweater Seonghwa had suggested, she blushed slightly and unconsciously covered her body with the coat which finally made him look up to her eyes. “No need to hide that body.”, he just said with a smirk which only made her blush even more, but it wasn’t the usual ‘oh he’s complimenting me, I’m getting shy’ blush but rather the ‘he’s already making me feel uncomfortable and I feel like I might kick him soon’ blush, but she just played it off by smiling at him. “Thank you… I guess.”, she replied with a sigh as she quickly looked away to see if the line was moving. “Maybe we should go somewhere else? There’s a lot of people, we might have to wait for a long time.”, she finally suggested as she put her eyes on him again, only to notice that he was typing something on his phone, not reacting to what she just had said.

She pressed her lips together and was about to say something when he suddenly put his index finger up to indicate that she should wait a second which only made her even more mad than she already was, but she just closed her eyes for a second and calmed herself down. “… okay now you can talk, what is it?”, he asked as he put his phone away, she repeated her sentence which only made him roll his eyes.

“Chill, be patient, this is the best place in town.”

“… it’s a McDonalds, there are like 20 other McDonalds here.”

“Your point?”

It was now 7:15 pm and they were still in line, they only exchanged some words, some meaningless small talk, the rest of the time they spent standing next to each other, him still being on his phone texting some people, and her just standing there and questioning her life-choices. Once it was finally their turn to order he just looked at the menu, telling her to order first since it would probably take him some time. She sighed, clearly annoyed as she quickly ordered her chicken-nuggets and pommes. Once she had told the cashier her order she looked at Hongjoong and frowned a little, he still didn’t decide on what he should get and it didn’t only make her grow impatient, but everybody else too. ‘Why the fuck didn’t he think about what to order while we were still in line’, she thought to herself, now crossing her arms over her chest and giving the cashier who was clearly stressed an apologetic look which she only replied to with an eye roll.

“Why don’t you just take a chicken burger Hongjoong.”, she said after what felt like an hour, she didn’t mean to sound that annoyed but it definitely came out very aggressively.

“Chill, we have time, don’t stress yourself princess.”, he replied with a somewhat offended look on his face as he looked at her and then at the cashier, the pet-name only made her roll my eyes for what felt like the thousandth time, she was basically fuming, she was so close to just storming out of that place and never talk to him again, but she took a deep breath, calming herself down once again, she’d probably be able to lead an aggression coping course if she continued like that, if Seonghwa would see her like that he’d probably just shake his head and tell her that she shouldn’t deal with his bullshit and she’d just frown at him because she’d know that he was right, but she kept quiet and nearly started clapping once he finally ordered the food he desired. The girl in front of them typed everything in with a sigh and told them the total.

Y/N took out her wallet and side-eyed him as she noticed that he didn’t take out his. He just looked at her expectantly while she handed the woman her card without saying anything. “I’m a little short on money, you know how it is.”, he said and scratched his neck after she got her card back. “I noticed.”, she replied coldly. She expected him to at least say ‘thank you’ or ‘I’ll pay next time’, but no, he just stayed quiet and winked at her once their eyes met.

They made their way to a free table, luckily they didn’t have to wait for the food since someone would bring it to them, they we’re able to find a free spot pretty quickly since the people that had been sitting there before just got up as they were walking past them. They placed themselves across from each other and took out their phones, she really wasn’t in the mood for talking to him anymore, this date was a complete disaster and if she wasn’t that desperate, she would’ve left ages ago, but she believed in second chances after all. She checked her phone only to see that Seonghwa had texted her which immediately brought up her mood a little.

‘on a scale from 1-10, how horrible is it?’

‘12’

She chuckled a little as she sent the text and immediately saw the little bubble which showed that he was texting.

‘told you, should I pick you up?’

‘no no, it’s okay, I’m just exaggerating a little, thank you though’

She quickly texted back, not wanting him to be disturbed by her, he probably had better things to do than listen to her complaints, little did she know that Seonghwa was basically just staring at his screen, waiting for her to text him to pick her up. He obviously wanted her to be happy and have a good time but he just knew that Hongjoong wasn’t good enough for her, so he spent the whole time thinking about what could be going on between them right now, the thought of Hongjoong holding y/n’s hand made shivers go down his spine and he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t happy that the date seemed to go badly.

He once again promised himself that he would confess to her soon, knowing very well that it was bullshit but it kind of became a tradition for him. Whenever she would go out on a date he would promise himself that he’s just go up to her the next day and confess his big fat crush to her, he even prepared the right words to say and how to say them without seeming like a creep but whenever he’d meet up with her the next day his heart would just sink and he’d feel sick to his stomach, he would try to speak up and tell her how much he appreciated her and how important she was and how he loved the way she talked while sleeping but instead he’d just stare at her awkwardly the whole entire time while she’d tell him about the dumb dates and afterwards he’d just call it a day and promise himself that he would definitely do it the next time.

He sighed slightly as he got his laptop, looking through the list of series he wanted to watch, finally trying to distract himself a little from the whole situation.

“I’m starving!”, Y/N flinched since she didn’t expect Hongjoong to speak up that loudly even though she knew how loud he could be. He’s always the one that could be heard even if you sit all the way in the back, he just had a loud ass voice which sadly was very beautiful, but she still rolled her eyes at the sudden sound. She was really close to just either running out of the fast food restaurant or slapping him, he didn’t even care to carry a conversation with her, the only reason he’d look away from his phone is when he’d wink at her with a smirk which at first seemed kind of cute and maybe even hot but now it just annoyed her to death, she wasn’t only mad, she was also frustrated, hungry and sad, she didn’t expect it to go perfectly well but this was just horrible.

She pressed her lips together and nodded her head, not bringing up the motivation to tell him how little she actually cared, if she wanted to she could literally scream at him how much she disliked him but she decided to just get over it and stay silent, hoping that she could just go home after that date. After ten more minutes of complete silence the food finally came and they both turned off their phones excitedly. She didn’t enjoy McDonalds very much but she was just happy to finally get something to eat but her face dropped as she saw what they’ve gotten, Hongjoong’s order was completely fine but hers was messed up, instead of the food she wanted she got a fish burger which would be no problem if she wasn’t fucking allergic to seafood. She pressed her lips together and was very close to either just laughing or crying her eyes out.

“Huh? Everything okay?”, Hongjoong suddenly asked as he saw her not touching the burger.

“I can’t eat this.”, she said with a calm voice.

“Why did you order it then?”, he asked as he raised his eyebrows, already nearly finished with his meal.

“I didn’t order this.”, she replied, once again very calmly while scanning the fries which didn’t even look like you could eat them without immediately throwing up. She looked up to Hongjoong who had stuffed his mouth with food and was chewing it with a lot of passion. Her calmness didn’t come from her patience or inner peace, no, she was completely done with everything, she knew that if something else would trigger her, even if it was the tiniest thing, she’d explode. She therefore tried to stay calm and leaned back, pushing the food away from her.

“So… you’re not gonna eat that?”, he asked after he was done with his meal as he looked at her with questioning eyes, she just shook her head and thought ‘wow, maybe he’ll suggest going to the counter to get me something else’ but she wasn’t surprised when he continued talking. “Great, can I eat it? I’m still starving.”, he asked, not even waiting for her permission to eat her food, he just picked up the burger and started eating it pretty quickly, for a second she was impressed of how fast he was able to eat that fish burger but then she just sighed loudly while leaning back and rubbing her eyes. She then took out her phone once again and continued playing that stupid game, nobody was texting her back and she had already seen all of the memes on Instagram, she just tried to get over this date quickly so she could leave and never talk to him again.

“It’s rude to be on the phone while somebody else is eating.”, Hongjoong suddenly said with a full mouth which only made her look at him dumbfoundedly. “Are you being serious?”, she asked after a few seconds, he must be kidding right? There’s no way for him to actually mean what he just had said. He literally was on his phone the whole entire evening but now he tries to make her feel bad about being on her phone? She was staring at him in disbelief and now with a lot of anger in her eyes, she was so done with his shit. He must have noticed how mad she was since he just shrugged and looked at his fries. “Chill, you have to learn how to deal with criticism.”, he replied quietly and with a small eyeroll which only made her even angrier. She was about to just let it all out when he suddenly just stood up and started walking towards the exit.

“Let’s leave.”, he simply said and didn’t even wait for her to stand up. She still looked at him with a frown but stood up and followed him through the masses, she just wanted to go home finally, she couldn’t deal with his bullshit anymore. Once they finally made their way out of the place she took a long, deep breath and enjoyed the coldness hitting her blushed face, it was way too hot in there and it smelled of grease and snot and just things she never wanted to smell again, she definitely wouldn’t go to McDonalds anymore. She closed her eyes for some seconds to enjoy the sounds of the city, finally hearing something other than children singing happy birthday and teenagers talking about big booties, she calmed down immediately and nearly started crying when she thought about Seonghwa, there’s nothing in earth she craved more than him hugging her right at that moment. When she opened her eyes again she hoped to suddenly see Seonghwa in front of her with his usual warm smile that made her feel safe, but instead she was met by a big smirk belonging to the person she didn’t want to see ever again.

“Wanna go to mine?”, he asked with a smirk which made her feel sick, so she quickly looked away and shook her head. “I’m tired to be honest, I just wanna go home…”, “No need to be shy baby-girl, c’mon I know you want me just as much as I want you…”, he said while stepping a little closer to her, she just looked up at him with a confused expression, he has to be joking.

“No.”, she said suddenly with a frown as she took a step back. “I want to go home.”, she said, this time a little louder and with much more determination in her voice, she was done with his bullshit. Hongjoong suddenly stopped his movements and looked at her with an offended frown while crossing his arms over his chest. “Then why the fuck did you agree to go out with me?”, he asked like he was the one being played here, he wasn’t really mad or anything, after all he still had morals and knew about consent so he wouldn’t push her to anything she wouldn’t want but he was a tiny bit pissed, his dates normally ended in sex and this didn’t seem like it would so he was obviously upset. “Because I thought this was going to be a normal date? I didn’t come here with the intention to-“, she became louder and louder as she spoke but interrupted herself in the middle of her sentence once she noticed the stares she received, she just sighed loudly and felt how her hands were already trembling due to the anger she was feeling inside, she was frustrated and mad, this date went horribly wrong and his entitlement to actually feel the right to be offended just because she wouldn’t want to sleep with him even though SHE was the one that should be offended because he expected her to sleep with him after this disaster of a date made her feel like she could start crying any second.

“You’re so dramatic to be honest, like take that stick out of your ass and just have some fun.”, he replied with an eyeroll in the same volume as her which only made her more furious. She breathed in shakily and wanted to reply something, she wanted to finally speak her mind and tell him how much of an asshole he was and how he should fuck himself and never talk to her again but he interrupted her by speaking up once again.

“You know what? With that attitude no one’s going to fuck you anyways.”, he said a little calmer and even proudly which only made her want to smack him right then and there. “Listen-“ “No, I don’t care.”, he just interrupted here like that with an arrogant smile on his face and a little shrug as he turned around and walked away, not even caring about what she had to say.

She pressed her lips together as he did that and was really close to following him and stopping him, making him listen to her but she was tired of this and she knew that she would probably make a scene if she would properly get into that discussion. She always was a pretty emotional person when it came to stuff like that, once she got really mad her body would react extremely sensitive to it, she would start trembling and crying due to the frustration she’d feel inside and she wouldn’t be able to form a proper sentence because of all of that, a reason why she could probably never become a lawyer, she took things like that to heart and couldn’t deal with injustice. She followed Hongjoong with her eyes as the boy made his way to his car, looking like nothing had happened, he wasn’t affected by the situation at all. She once again took deep breaths and closed her eyes while doing so, she calmed herself down a little and the anger was replaced by disappointment and sadness.

She had been on many dates and they never ended the way she wanted them to end, she just wanted to find some love, someone that would make her feel happy and warm, but all she got was cold conversations and empty promises. She began wondering if maybe she was the reason why nothing worked out, maybe she was too boring for people to actually care about her, maybe she wasn’t pretty enough? Maybe she really had a stick up her ass?

She opened her eyes after a few seconds once she felt raindrops on her head, she looked up and felt the rain hitting her face ‘Wow, now that’s the last thing I needed’, she thought to herself as she chuckled bitterly and made her way to the other side of the street where the bus station was only to realize that the next bus would arrive in around 30 minutes depending on the traffic. She pressed her lips together once again and it took her all of her self-control to not just hit her fist against the timetable, instead she just took her phone out and dialed Seonghwa’s number, her lips already trembling even before he picked up the phone.

The phone rang a few times and she leaned against the glass cabin next to her with tears in her eyes, if he didn’t pick up the phone she would probably have a mental breakdown right then and there next to some teenage boys who were fighting about some stupid game. She closed her eyes and was about to hang up when he suddenly heard the only voice she wanted to hear in that moment.

“I’m sorry, my phone was charging, what’s up?”, she heard, and a small smile creeped up her face while the tears finally stared streaming down her face, she sobbed quietly and wasn’t even able to bring out a single word.

“Y/N? Are you okay? Where are you?”, at that she only started crying harder. His soft words and worried tone only made her realize how much she needed him, the only thing she wanted was being hugged by him and being told that everything was going to be okay. The boys next to her abruptly stopped fighting as they saw her basically bawling her eyes out while she was on her phone, they looked at each other in confusion, unsure of what to do.

“C-Can you please pick me up? I’m at the place you dropped me off.”, she replied in between sobs with a shaky voice while trying to dry the tears on her face which was basically an impossible task since the tears wouldn’t stop falling.

“Yes, of course, don’t move one inch, I’ll be there in a second, I’ll hurry, please don’t cry, I got you, okay?”, she chuckled lightly as she basically heard how he was getting dressed while still holding his phone to his ear, his words held so much warmth and that made her feel a little better, she nodded her head slightly before realizing that he doesn’t see her.

“Okay…”, she replied quietly as she slowly hung up the phone and took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down for what felt like the 100th time today. She looked to her side confusedly as she felt someone softly poke her on her arm. She smiled softly as one of the teenage boys handed her a tissue with a comforting and shy smile.

“Men ain’t shit.”, he said to which his friends only agreeingly nodded which made her chuckle softly and nod her head while she dried up her tears.

“Men ain’t shit…”, she replied with a sigh as she closed her eyes while steal leaning against the glass cabin, waiting for Seonghwa to pick her up and maybe turn this awful night in a somewhat okay night. She opened up her eyes after a few minutes and looked up only to spot Seonghwa’s car finally, she walked towards the car and waved at the teenage boys who all smiled at her which kind of already made her feel better. Once she saw Seonghwa sitting in the car she forgot everything for a second. He was looking at her with a worried expression through the window, waiting for her to get inside the parked car. She breathed in deeply and already felt lighter since she had let out the tears before and entered the car. She looked extremely exhausted, her make up was smudged and her mascara was basically all over her face, her hair was a little messy and her hands were basically freezing, he was a mess but Seonghwa couldn’t help but smile softly.

“Go on, say it.”, she said as she finally sat down and fastened her seatbelt. Seonghwa sighed slightly as he softly brushed her hair out of her face, it was a simple gesture but it held so much affection and warmth that it nearly made her tear up again.

“I told you he’s an asshole.”, he said softly as he took his hand away and instead softly grabbed both of her hands as he noticed that they were red due to the coldness.

“You’re freezing oh my god.”, he exclaimed as he warmed up her hands with his own warm ones which slightly made her blush and her heart beat a little faster, it was pretty dark in the car but the light from outside lit up the place a little so she was able to properly look at his beautiful face. He wasn’t looking at her but was focused on warming her up properly which made her smile softly, the small concerned frown on his face and the way his hands were rubbing against hers to create some friction instantly made her feel warm inside. She must have been staring at him pretty intensively since he looked up after a while directly into her eyes only to feel his own heart drop slightly, her eyes held so much affection and love but also sadness and frustration at the same time. They were staring at each other for what felt like hours until he noticed that he had completely stopped warming up her hands, the tension in the air made it hard for them to properly breathe but they both started laughing softly as the tension was interrupted by the sudden sounds of her stomach.

“I guess you’re hungry?”, he asked softly as he hesitatingly let go of her hands to grab the steering wheel in front of him, she felt disappointment fill up her body as she felt the cold air hitting her hands again but she just nodded her head softly, she was basically starving. Once Seonghwa started the car and started driving she looked into the mirror of her phone and nearly had a heart attack as she saw what she looked like.

“I look like I’m straight out of a horror movie, oh god.”, she whispered as she tried to clean up her face with the wipes she found in his car, Seonghwa just chuckled softly as he heard her words and shrugged.

“I like horror movies.”, he simply replied which made her roll her eyes, not being able to hold back a small smile that was being formed on her lips. His presence alone made her feel lighter and not as sad as before, she was still a little frustrated, but she tried not to think about the failed dates and the humiliation too much, she just wanted to eat something and go home into her warm bed and sleep for the next 24 hours just to get some proper rest. After she cleaned up her face as much as possible with the wipes she leaned back and closed her eyes, extremely exhausted from the whole day.

“What do you want to eat?”, Seonghwa asked softly which made her sigh slightly.

“Anything but please no McDonalds.”, she replied with a pout which made him smile softly.

“No McDonalds.”, he quietly said as he spotted a burger king with a drive through. He didn’t expect her to be in the mood to actually get out of the car back into a place which would be filled up with annoying, loud people so he decided to get into the pretty long line, he looked at her with an apologetic smile as he saw that they’d probably have to wait for a long time.

“Ah, sorry, the line is pretty long, if you don’t want to wait we could go somewhere else…”, he said as he saw how slowly the cars were moving but she just shook her head exhaustedly.

“I don’t mind it… at least I’m with you…”, she replied softly as she opened her eyes and looked at him. He blushed slightly at that and was glad that it was pretty dark in the car which meant that she wouldn’t be able to spot his red cheeks. Seonghwa is a pretty confident person who doesn’t blush too easily but the girl next to him had a big impact on him. Her smile could light up any room and her tears could turn him into the most caring person ever. When he heard her little sobs and broken voice over the phone his heart nearly broke, he just couldn’t handle her being sad which was why he immediately had gotten dressed and into his car, not even caring about turning off the tv or the lights, he hurried so he could be there for her like she always was there for him. They always got each other’s back.

“So… Hongjoong…”, he started carefully which only made her pout even more, he felt a smile creeping up his face as he saw the adorable expression on her face.

“I hate him, and you were right, I don’t even wanna talk about him, ever.”, she replied as she crossed her arms over her chest and pressed her lips together, her pout disappearing and being replaced with an angry expression which only made her seem even more adorable but he knew that he shouldn’t say that since it would probably only make her even more upset. He was just so soft for her which meant that whatever she’d do he’d be head over heals for her. He nodded his head understandingly, obviously not wanting to push her to talk about something she didn’t want to talk about, but he knew her so it was no surprise to him when she suddenly spoke up after a few seconds and started ranting about the date, leaving in every detail. He listened carefully and nodded his head to show that he was listening, his grip around the steering wheel got tighter the closer she got to the end of the date, he knew it was a mistake going out with him but he didn’t expect him to be that much of an asshole. He just shook his head in disbelief when she started talking about their last discussion, he had to interrupt her though since he had to ask her what she wanted to order.

“I don’t care… anything but no seafood.”, she said with a sigh which only made him nod, he quickly ordered something for her and just shook his head as he saw that she was taking out her wallet to hand him her card.

“There’s no way that I’ll let you pay, dumbass.”, he said as he took out his own car and paid for her food which made her pout lightly.

“Hongjoong didn’t even pay for his own food, I had to pay for this ungrateful asshole… he didn’t even say thank you!”, she exclaimed desperately which only made him shake his head.

“You deserve better, you really do, I don’t know why you even give people like him a chance…”, he said while he was waiting for the workers to hand him his order, she just shrugged as she looked out of the window, her expression immediately changed again at his words, he had said those things millions of times ‘you deserve better’ ‘you’re out of their league’, but she always just stayed silent, what was she supposed to say? That she literally gave everyone that was somehow decent a chance because she finally wanted to get over her crush on him? That she concluded that no one will ever make her feel like he did?

She was desperate, once again really close to the point of exploding and just blurting out the things she thought, but she just couldn’t, her heart felt heavy and it would only feel even heavier if she’d confess her crush to her best friend in a parking lot at Burger king around 10 pm only to be rejected and left for good, the thought of seeing his disgusted or confused expression on his face once she’d tell him how she really felt made her heart drop slightly and her hands started trembling, she really didn’t want to destroy their friendship just because she had those dumb feelings for him, she couldn’t risk that, she needs him, she really does.

They were sitting like that in silence until the food finally came and he handed it to her, he quickly said thank you and goodbye to the overworked guy at the window and then parked his car so she could eat in peace. The hunger she had felt before suddenly seemed gone and was replaced by the sadness and disappointment of the realization that she probably could never be with the person she loved the most.

“I don’t think I’m hungry anymore… can you please drive me home?”, she said with a quiet voice filled with sadness which once again made his heart drop slightly as he looked at her, she wasn’t looking at him but was just avoiding eye contact, knowing very well that once she’d look into his eyes she’d start crying and she really didn’t want to be that drama queen. Seonghwa just bit his lip and shook his head.

“Look… I’m so sorry that you’re feeling sad, and I’m sorry that he treated you like that, but I can’t just drive you home, knowing that you’ll continue being sad…”, he replied quietly which made her lip tremble slightly, she hated herself for being affected by his words this much once again.

“I’ll just bring the mood down…”, Seonghwa just shook his head and grabbed her hand comfortingly.

“And I’ll be there to bring the mood up again.”, she bit her lip as she felt his hand grabbing hers softly, she didn’t take her hand away, but she breathed in shakily as she looked around, anywhere but into his eyes.

“We could go get some snacks… watch some Netflix… you know, fun things.”, he said softly as he traced his thumb over her skin softly, drawing patterns into her soft skin. He really just wanted to see her smile again, once he saw some tears rolling down her face he let go of her hand and brought it up to her face, softly drying the tears. He smiled softly as she just nodded her head and took some wipes.

“I really don’t know why you even keep up with my bullshit…”, she said with a shaky voice which made him sigh slightly.

“That’s what friends are there for, right?”, at that she started eating her burger at a rapid tempo which only made him chuckle softly.

“You really are hungry huh?”, she didn’t even say anything as she continued eating, trying to fill herself up with the food in the bag, she cringed a little as she thought about how she was trying to fill up the emptiness in her heart, she never really liked those fake deep posts she had read numerous times on Instagram but if the shoe fits, it fits. Once she was done with her food she was about to get out of the car to throw away the trash but Seonghwa quickly opened his own door and took her things to throw them away for her which made her smile slightly, she didn’t know whether it was a good idea to go to him or not but his pure existence made her feel at least a little better so she just gave in and didn’t fight against the fact that he was driving into the direction of his own apartment once he was in the car again. There was a little supermarket close to his apartment where he parked the car and got out fast enough to be on her side of the car to open the door for her like she was some kind of celebrity. She giggled while shaking her head as she got out of the car and lightly bowed.

“Thank you, sir.”

“You’re welcome ma’am.”, he replied with a wink which made her roll her eyes lovingly as she made her way to the entrance of the store where she grabbed a basket.

“I thought about getting chocolate and ice cream, it’s what the teenagers in those bad American movies eat when they need comfort.”, Seonghwa said as he appeared next to her and looked down at her to see if she’d agree with his decision to which she only replied with a small frown.

“The movies aren’t that bad… but chocolate and ice cream sound nice.”, Seonghwa chuckled at that and sighed a little.

“I won’t fight against that since your date went horribly wrong but remind me of this discussion tomorrow, I have a lot to say about this.”, he said which made her smile slightly and nod her head.

“Can we get mint chocolate ice cream?”, she asked while looking up to him with big eyes. She could ask him if she could sell his lungs for some concert tickets with that look on her face and he’d say yes, he really was whipped so he just nodded his head a little taken back.

“Sure, whatever you want…”, he replied a little shy which made her smile brightly and go up to the ice cream section of the store where she picked up the mint chocolate and vanilla flavored ice cream since they were her favorites. She excitedly put them into the basket while Seonghwa was just watching her with a small smile. She then proceeded to walk towards the snack section of the store while he just followed her, always keeping an eye on her, he didn’t even care to look for the snacks or to chose something himself, seeing her getting excited over spotting her favorite candy basically made his heart melt and he just nodded to every suggestion of hers, as long as she was happy, he was happy too.

“Okay, I think that’s enough! Why don’t you make a suggestion?”, she asked happily as she looked at him, her face slightly dropped as she spotted the loving and warm expression on his face which immediately made her heart jump a little. He quickly looked away a little embarrassed as he noticed how he was staring at her and just shook his head quickly.

“Oh no it’s okay, I like what you’ve chosen, I guess you have good taste.”, he quickly said, stumbling a little over his words which made her smile slightly and tilt her head a little.

“My taste in candy is amazing, my taste in men is trash.”, she replied with a sigh as she made her way to the check out with him next to her, trying to not interpret too much into the stare she had just received from him, she often had caught him staring at her like that but she never dared to think too much about it, after all his words made it clear that he only saw her as a friend.

She once again was about to take out her wallet, but he just sighed exaggeratingly and pushed her hand with the card softly away, so he could pay himself.

“Seonghwa that’s not fair, you already paid for the food and now for the snacks too?”, she exclaimed with a pout which only made him smile brightly and pat her head softly.

“Let me spoil you a little.”, he simply replied and smiled even brighter as he noticed the slight blush on her face, just like her he didn’t know how to interpret those little things. He noticed that she blushed a lot in his presence and that she also stared at him once in a while but their friendship and love for each other just got to a point where he didn’t know if that was still platonic love he sees in her eyes or actual love, he didn’t want to bring his hopes up though so he didn’t think too much about it even if a small part inside of him told him that there was more than just friendship going on.

After he paid, he helped her put the snacks into the bag only to carry it to the car, ignoring her whines and small protests. Once they were back in the car she felt a lot better, spending time with Seonghwa without thinking too much about every single movement once again made her realize how much she cared about their bond and friendship, he was extremely important to her and she wouldn’t know what to do if she loses him.

“You’re really important to me…”, she said out a sudden while Seonghwa was driving with his eyes fixed on the road. She watched him as his expression suddenly changed from focused to confused and then to a small smile. He quickly locked eyes with her for a second before turning to the road again.

“You’re really important to me too…”, he replied softly which made her smile a little.

“… even though you like mint ice cream.”, he added after a while with a sigh which made her laugh out in disbelief.

“Mint ice cream is superior, and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world, tasteless fool.”, she exclaimed loudly with an offended look on her face which only made him laugh slightly.

“Excuse me? So if anyone would come up to you and ask you to chose between me or mint ice cream, what would you chose?”, he asked with raised eyebrows. She only sighed loudly as she leaned back and thought for a while.

“That’s way too hard to answer Seonghwa…”, she replied defeated which made him look at her with a hurt expression on his face.

“Wow, I see how it is…”, “As if you wouldn’t trade me for kimchi fried rice!”, “You’re irreplaceable!”, Y/N rolled her eyes at that but couldn’t help it but smile as she looked out of the window. They fell silent again but this time it was a rather pleasant silence which made them both smile brightly. She noticed how the rain has completely stopped and how people were walking around, pulling their coats a little bit closer, she always loved fall and winter even more. Once they arrived at his she sighed a little and put her hands into her pockets, already preparing for the cold wind to hit her harshly. Seonghwa quickly got the bag full of snacks and quickly followed her to his apartment, he struggled a little to take out his keys but once he finally managed to get them out, he quickly opened the door since it was really freezing. He sighed relievedly once they were outside and he smiled slightly as he saw her pouting a little while getting her coat off. Her nose and cheeks were a little red and her hair was messy due to the cold wind and he bit his lip as he looked down at her, she looked endearing.

“What?”, she asked after she got her shoes off and noticed that he still was in his coat and shoes, just standing there and looking at her with those eyes filled with affection.

“You’re adorable.”, he finally said with a sigh as he got his coat off too which only made her heart jump a little. She didn’t expect to get a compliment suddenly, but she also didn’t mind at all, she loved to be praised, especially by him.

“Thank you…”, she replied a little shily as she quickly made her way to his living room with the bag in her hand. She sighed a little as she saw that the lights were already on and the tv was still running, she smiled slightly when she realized that he probably didn’t turn any of those things off because he was hurrying to get to her, the thought of that made her heart swell and she bit her lip as she couldn’t help but smile brightly.

“I’ll just go change quickly… If you want to you can take some of my clothes so it’ll be more comfortable for you.”, he said while standing in the doorframe, carefully watching her, wondering why she was smiling so brightly. She looked at him as he spoke up and nodded slowly as she followed him to his room where he handed her a sweater of his and some trainers which could be tightened by the waist so they wouldn’t just slide down. She made her way to the bathroom where she got changed and exhaled satisfied, the sweater didn’t fit me whatsoever, but I loved how comfortable it was and the way it smelled of Seonghwa. It felt weirdly domestic, but she definitely didn’t mind that at all. After she cleaned her face properly with some water and soap, she made her way out of the bathroom to the living room where Seonghwa was already scrolling through Netflix on his Play-station, he stopped though once he spotted at her. He had often seen her in his shirt and sweaters since she had forgotten her own pajamas multiple times, so it was no rare sight, but it definitely struck him every time.

She just looked tiny in his clothes, the way the sleeves were way too long so they would completely cover her hands, the fact that the sweaters always slid down a little whenever she’d walk, just knowing that she was wearing his clothes made him feel warm inside and he couldn’t help but smile softly at her. He obviously loved seeing her all dressed up, but he definitely preferred this look much more. She noticed his stare obviously, so she quickly looked away before she’d grow too nervous. After a while he just patted the place next to him to indicate that she should take a seat which she immediately did. She sat down next to him, not too close but also not too far from him, their thighs would be touching if either of them moved a little closer and their hands weren’t touching but they could hold each other’s hand if they wanted to.

Once she was sitting next to him he quickly looked back to the tv and continued scrolling, he would never admit it but having her this close to him always made him grow a little nervous, he was scared that if he’d keep on staring at her he’d be tempted just fuck it all and kiss her right then and there, but he couldn’t just do that, that would definitely cross a line but he would be lying if he said that he didn’t think about kissing her like 89% of the time he was with her, he just wanted to press his lips on hers and kiss her breathless, he wanted to be the reason she’d blush after shily letting out those little innocent sounds, he wanted to place his hands on her soft skin and keep her there where he wanted her, he was completely distracted by his thoughts which resolved into him not noticing how she was staring at him with the same thoughts on her mind.

She blushed slightly as she scanned his face carefully with her eyes, she knows his face by heart, she knows every mole and every small imperfection, and she loves it all. She had often shyly complimented him on his amazing jawline and facial structures, she could basically write books about his beauty, she never was a fan of poetry but him being there made her want to write down her feelings for him in a dramatic but beautiful way, he really brought out stuff in her she never knew she had.

“What do you wanna watch?”, he suddenly asked after a while, breaking the silence and tension in the room, she breathed in deeply after she noticed that she has held her breath the whole entire time while staring at him, leaving her a little breathless.

“Uh… I don’t mind anything… you can choose…”, she replied a little shakily, which made her smile a little. They quickly decided on watching something lighthearted which was why they ended up watching Brooklyn99, or well, they didn’t really watch it, they were way too focused on not staring at each other. They missed basically all the jokes and were dead silent, not even properly noticing whenever a new episode would start. Seonghwa eventually noticed that she was just as distracted as he was, he noticed how she had a slight blush on her face and hos she was biting her lip over and over again, causing him to stare at her lips for some seconds before turning his gaze back to the tv, what was she thinking about? Was she thinking about him? Seonghwa bit his lip as an idea popped up in his head, his heart started beating a little faster only at the thought of it. He didn’t know if he should actually risk it and do it? He didn’t want it to suddenly turn awkward between them.

The tension in the living room was basically suffocating them, they often had this weird tension between them, normally it would be Seonghwa who would make a dumb comment or ask something to break this tension but he didn’t do that this time, this time it should be different, which was why he very slowly lifted his hand and placed it on her thigh very softly, planning on pulling his hand away the second she’d seem uncomfortable, but once he noticed that she didn’t say or do anything that would tell him to stop what he was doing he rested his hand on her thigh completely and breathed out a little shakily.

She obviously noticed his hand on her thigh and held her breath once again, she stared at his hand for a few seconds, her skin was tingly and her heart was racing. She felt like if she’d move even the tiniest bit the tension would be gone and so would the hand on thigh, and she didn’t want his hand to move away from there which was why she froze, she didn’t know what to do or say, she just sat there and didn’t dare to look at him, especially after she felt how he stared at her after a while, this time he didn’t side-eye her like before, he turned his head towards her and looked down at her, his heart just beating as fast as hers. He then took his hand off her thigh only to softly grab her chin, forcing her to finally look up into his eyes. They both expected the tension to be gone after their eyes finally met, they expected to burst out in laughter and just turn back to the series, acting like nothing had happened, but none of that happened, they stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like hours when Seonghwa suddenly leaned in a little, testing out how close he can get before she’d stop him, but she didn’t, she just kept on staring at him, only breaking eye contact whenever she’d look at his plump and inviting lips.

She breathed out shakily once their lips were only inches apart, they still both expected the other to break the silence, but the only thing that could be heard in the room was the tv playing quietly in the background and their hard breathing. Seonghwa’s hand slowly moved from her chin to her waist very slowly, leaving goosebumps all over her body. He was staring shamelessly at her lips now, not even thinking about backing up or saying anything that could break the tension, he moved a little closer and she noticed how his eyes were basically black at his point, staring at her in a way she has never seen before but it made her press her legs together, it took her all of her self-control to net let out a whine that was creeping up her throat. The fact that their lips didn’t even touch but he still had that impact on her made her blush slightly. Seonghwa breathed out once again slowly. ‘fuck it’, he just thought to himself as he finally pressed his lips against hers.

Once he felt her soft lips he sighed quietly into the kiss, his grip around her waist got a little tighter and his heart was racing now, his lips were burning. He moved his lips against hers and was about to pull back once he noticed that she didn’t kiss him back, his heart dropped at the sudden realization and he pulled away breathlessly, staring at her with wide eyes.

His lips were even plumper than before and his heart still racing, his mind was going crazy and he was about to apologize when she suddenly pressed her lips against his, much harsher than he did. She whined softly as their lips touched again and found herself sitting on his lap facing him and not breaking the kiss for a second. Her hands found their way to his hair, pulling on it softly while his hands tightened around her waist. The harsh kiss turned into a passionate one, finally letting out all of the emotions they were feeling, happiness, anger, madness and love. They were drowning in each other, desperately trying to make the other one understand how much they wanted the other. The passionate kiss turned into a soft kiss before they completely parted breathlessly leaning their foreheads against each other. Neither of them opened their eyes, nor did they say anything, too scared they might say something wrong, too scared of what was about to come. They stayed like that for some seconds before he opened his eyes slowly and brought up his hands to her face, cupping it softly which caused her eyes to fall open too, looking at him, unsure of what would happen next, but once she saw the love and comfort in his eyes she smiled softly and breathed out shakily.

“You’re even prettier up close…”, he whispered with a smile on his face which made her giggle softly and shake her head slowly, her hands were now around his neck, keeping him close.

“You too…”, she replied shakily which made him smile even brighter. They both once again closed their eyes, trying to calm their still racing hearts down. The tension in the room was now replaced by pure warmth. They were both blushing slightly and the smile never left their faces, they wanted to live in that moment, they wanted to bottle up this feeling of pure bliss and keep it in their pockets for bad days, they wanted each other in a way they couldn’t put into words. After a while he softly pushed her off his lap which resulted in a big pout forming on her plump, red lips to which he just replied with a soft smile and kiss on the cheek.

He stood up and grabbed her hand softly, indicating her to follow him. She wasn’t even able to stand properly; her knees were weak as she shakily followed him to his bedroom after he quickly turned off the tv and the lights. They both laid down facing each other. She shyly looked up into his eyes only to see that he was already staring at her with an amount of affection and love which once again made her blush, he wasn’t holding back this time, he didn’t look away but continued to stare at her the way he has been secretly staring at her the whole entire time

He lifted his hand up to her face and softly caressed her blushed cheek, the little lamp on his bedside table lighting up the room just enough for him to notice her sparkly eyes and blushed cheeks. She sighed softly as she closed her eyes, enjoying the affectionate touches, smiling brightly once she felt him come a little closer.

“If you continue staring at me like that, I’ll have to kiss you again…”, she whispered with her eyes still closed but still feeling his stare on her. He chuckled softly as he leaned in only to stop inches away from her lips.

“Is that a promise?”, he asked which made her smile even more, she placed her hand on his face softly, mimicking his action, softly caressing the skin under her fingers, now staring into his eyes too, the nodded softly as she closed the distance and kissed him softly, their lips were barely touching but their hearts started racing at the same speed as before in the living room. Their lips were lazily moving against each other while his hand found its way back to her waist once again, her hand still on his cheek. She smiled into the kiss and distanced herself a little as she breathed in shakily.

“I could definitely get used to this…”, she whispered which made him nod slowly, not believing that this was actually happening.

“Remember… back then at summer camp? Remember how Yeosang didn’t even dare to look at you after you guys kissed?”, he suddenly asked softly to which she just replied with hum.

“I guess my kissing skills weren’t good enough…”, “Actually… I was just extremely jealous, so I stared at him with a death glare until he didn’t even dare to think about you…”, “Oh that’s why he always ran away whenever I’d approach him!”, they both started giggling at the memory and her heart only swell when she thought about how they have felt the same way for ages.

“Remember that one time you were on a date and I called you to tell you that I was extremely sick and needed your help? I wasn’t actually sick at all…”, he looked at her with big eyes but started laughing at the thought of that as he nodded his head knowingly.

“You’re a great actress… and jealous, I think I should keep that in mind, huh?”, he said softly while drawing patterns into her skin which only made her smile and nod.

“If you even dare to think about any other girl than me, I will rip your head off.”, she replied in an innocent and soft voice which made him laugh quietly and nod his head.

“You’re small, you can’t even reach my neck…”, he replied with a teasing smile which only caused her to pout slightly and press a small kiss on his lips which made his heart jump slightly.

“I can still destroy your ankles…”

“Would you at least kiss me afterwards to make me feel better?”

“Hell yes.”

#kpop #kpop scenarios #one shot #kpop request #kpop writing #kpop reactions #kpop one shot #ateez requests #ateez oneshot #ateez seongwha #ateez scenarios #seonghwa #seonghwa x reader #park seonghwa #ateez reactions #ateez fluff #ateez au #ateez imagines #kpop story

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 4 years

Note

Thought about something cute like reader and 5sos singing on the same festival and she’s dating cal 😭 and they switch with her guitarist and drummer boy and at first she didn’t notice but they they start to have so much fun together at the stage dancing together and doing stupid shit them following her around as she tries to prevent herself from giggling too much and actually singing 🥺🥺 and later she walks down when 5sos are performing with crystal Kay and Sierra omg 😳

+ I’m sorry I’m annoying but part two to my last asks!! I just imagine calum being all heart eyes for her minding his own business tho playing his guitar but every time he doesn’t have to use vocals or his bass he caught her hand or keep her close and ahh singing wildflower to her!!’ When at first the girls just wanted to have fun on stage with them but Calum just keeps her close the whole time singing to her and her singing back with him and being all funny and giggly together ooof

Thanks for your suggestion! It took me a minute to get to it. I did combine it with a few other suggestions. One person asked for drama and someone asked for angst. And viola! Here it is.

This is the last part of the Distance series! I’ll do an epilogue if folks want to send in some suggestions for it! HUGE thanks to everyone that sent me ideas! This series wouldn’t be what is it without you guys!

Find the Distance series masterlist here! Here’s my main masterlist! CW: 18+ (Smut). Angst. Lots of Fluff.

Songs I played: Woman and From The Dining Table by Harry Styles!

Here it is at a WHOOPINg 9.6k. Enjoy!

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The release of her album is followed by a tour. At first, she’s excited. Her mind runs wild with possibilities. Her fingers can’t keep up fast enough with every wonder and question she sends to Calum and thankfully, he doesn’t seem to mind the incessant buzzing. He takes each question in stride. It’s nice, in a way, for him to have the wisdom to give her. Like she doesn’t have to go in blind like he did, especially since it’s just her. He hopes he can make her feel a little less alone on the road. It can be a hard road to travel alone.

The glimmer starts to wear off fast. Rehearsals turn her into a zombie. She’s up fairly early stretching, taking her dog for a walk, trying to remind herself that everything’s going to fall into place like it needs to, but the second she walks into the rehearsal space it feels like everything is going to fall apart. That somehow everything she’s ever wanted on tour is just too much, too much out of the budget, too much because she doesn’t have the weight to her name just yet. And maybe it’s a lot of glitz and glamour. Maybe she is asking for too much. Maybe that would be her downfall.

Her phone buzzes. And she pauses, sitting on the floor with her mic in hand, and glances over to it. It’s Calum again. Another message that she won’t actually read until some ungodly hour in the night. He’s got to be up to his throat in worry. She can’t seem to think enough to text him back during the day. Too much is going on. She feels like she’s going to sink, just through the carpeted floor and through the concrete foundation and bury herself into the dirt. Maybe that would be a better fate for her.

She turns her attention back to her notebook, with the crude drawing she made when she was trying to set the stage. “Let’s just,” she sighs. “Let’s start from scratch.”

And it works. Though it’s long and arduous, she’s able to figure out how to set the stage, finalizing the neon design. There’s a rough draft at the video that will be playing behind her for a wardrobe change. By the time she’s able to crawl into her sheets, it’s nearly 1 am. There’s barely enough energy to keep her eyes open to send Calum an apology text. When she wakes, she grins at her dog waiting patiently at the side of her bed. “Ready to go, bubs?”

They give a tiny whine and rest their snout on the covers. She laughs, “Yeah, you’re ready to go.” She manages to brush her teeth and slips into a change of clothes before going out for a run.

Between showering and getting dressed, she checks her messages. Happy to hear that you got things straightened, baby. Reach out whenever you get a breather, reads the text from Calum.

She responds with a good morning text and then switches over to her email. At the top is an email with ‘urgent’ in the subject. She’s praying it’s not more bad news. She doesn’t quite have the heart to withstand more bad news after the progress they made yesterday. It’s details about a festival date in LA. That perfectly lines between her break between the European leg of the tour and the North America dates. She doesn’t even think twice about agreeing to the festival show.

Right as her day winds down, from a shockingly smooth day of rehearsals, Calum calls her. And though she’s drenched in sweat from the light choreography and running it for hours, she stops and answers. “Hey, baby.”

“Oh, she lives!”

“I know, I know. Sorry.”

“Only kidding. I know you’re hard at work. It’s just really good to hear your voice. How are rehearsals?”

“Really good now. Once we got over the hump, it’s like smooth sailing.”

“Good, I’m glad. I was calling. We got word a couple days ago about a festival show right when you’re on break between legs. And I was hoping you had some free time, just to hang out.”

She can’t contain the smile, leaning her head against the window. The evening twilight has already settled outside. “I’m joining that festival too. And we’ll be hanging out in LA for a few days for rehearsals and then shipping out. So absolutely, we can hang out. I miss your face. And Duke. God, I miss Duke.”

He laughs. Of course she emphasizes her longing for his dog over him. But he wouldn’t have it any other way. “I really can’t wait to see you.” It falls from his lips in a whisper, a secret between the two of them that no one else can be in on. But the boys see it. Everytime his phone buzzes he does his best to look at it as soon as he can just in case it’s her. It’s harder to get out of bed, especially when he hasn’t talked to her in a while. “Can’t wait to kiss you again.”

“You’re a sap, you know.”

“But I’m your sap.”

She giggles, softly, watching cars whizz by. “Yeah, you are my sap.”

_________________________________

Her tour starts off well. And even though it’s her first time being out on the road like this, a constant bouncing around, and completely flipping her normal routine, she manages to cope pretty well. And it helps of course when she calls her friends, or talks to her dog. But it’s still definitely draining, pouring every bit of herself out on stage and then having just enough time to recoup before doing it all over again. There’s value in it, when the lights lift, and she can see the crowd that’s gathered just for her. It’s surreal and makes her feel like she could do this all the time. That the only thing she’d ever need is the sound of a crowd singing her songs back to her.

In her dressing room, she swaps the gold earrings for a pair of acrylic ones, these jade green. “You’re too quiet on me,” she says, flicking her gaze down to her tablet.

Calum picks his head up. “It’s hard to say much when perfection’s staring you in the face.”

She grins, hooking the earring back on. “Thank you, but that’s not what I meant.��

“We just got word about two more festivals in the same week you have your break. One’s in LA still, the other one’s a little ways out.” There’s no need to fake the funk anymore, or hide it away. She has another three weeks of shows before her break. And maybe he expects her to fly off the handle. Maybe he expects her to throw a fit, about how they had made plans, and it’s the only time they’ll get for each other for months.

But she doesn’t. She nods, fingers twirling over her rings. “What are they others saying?”

“They’re itching to get back on stage. And from a business standpoint, it’s money in the pocket of course. But I know we made plans and I feel like an ass. But there’s also the band, too.”

“Our jobs aren’t easy,” she sighs. “Take the gigs.” Calum can see her eyes tearing up just a little. “Mind if tag along on the LA show?”

“Of course not. I’m really, really sorry, buttercup. I’m so sorry.”

She waves her hand, trying to keep the tears back. If they fall, they become real. It’s his job. Just like it’s hers. “I get it.” It’s tight as it leaves her throat. And it takes her a second, plus a few sips of water to get control of her emotions, and clear out all the tears that threaten to fall. He wishes he could say more, or do more. But it’s like the words die in his throat. And he’s left, mouth gaping, wishing and wanting, but unable to do anything.

“Does it look bad if I just forgo my heels tonight from the start? They’re killing my feet on stage,” she laughs.

It’s a small grin, upturns a corner of his mouth but doesn’t keep it up for long. “You usually end up kicking them off anyway, halfway through the show.”

“Someone’s been scrolling through my name on Twitter, huh?”

He does. Watching her is mesmerizing and he’s sad that he can’t get the chance to see it in person, so he resorts to the fan videos. But he’s yet to admit to it. “I do not do such a thing.” And there’s giggles. A fit of laughter as she looks over the outfits and plucks her oversize denim jacket and figures even in the shorts, she can make the docs Calum surprised her with work. So she slides into the worn red leather shoes and starts lacing them up.

Calum whistles, heart racing just a little. He didn’t know those shoes had made the cut. “Look at you.”

She strikes a pose but laughs. “Do I look good?”

“You look fucking amazing, buttercup.”

__________________________

The sound of the crowd roaring before her ears turn on will always make her heart race. Calum said he would try to sneak side stage, but considering that he had to play on the mainstage right after her set on the side stage, it might not be for long. She didn’t mind that. But she hadn’t seen him. Not a blond crop in sight, of course if he hasn’t changed his hair since the last time. Her bassist strums the opening cord and it sends the crowd into a tizzy. With her guitar strapped around, she rolls out her neck, lining up.

As they walk out onto the stage, they launch right into the first song. She feels her fingers buzzing as she strums. But it feels good. The LA sun is hot but she kind of welcomes it versus the heat of the stage lights. There’s still a small breeze. It comes in waves for sure and she can tell that her pits are going to be soaked by song three. “How’s everybody doing?” she shouts into the mic.

There’s cheer in response and she laughs, hearing it reverb for just a moment. “That’s what I like to hear. Just want to say thank you for coming to see me play today. Your support truly means a lot to me.”

She continues on for just a few more seconds and right as she goes to introduce the fourth song of her set, everyone in the crowd starts to get rowdy. She thinks nothing of it, as the song starts. But she knows something is happening and she turns to check her drummer and in her spin, there’s Calum, her bassist’s bass slung over his shoulder, fingers sliding over the frets, plucking at the strings. Not that she doesn’t think Calum would go for a mint green bass on his own, but she hasn’t seen one in his collection just yet.

If it weren’t for the verse coming back up, she knows she would just stare. Singing into her mic, she throws a few glances over to him. Waiting as the harmony comes in and Calum slides up to the music, voice smooth in her inner ears, she almost melts right there on the spot. She hadn’t quite thought about the way his voice would sound with hers, but god, he harmonizes like an angel. She finishes the verse, with a small break before the chorus again. The stage is kind of small but while facing the crowd, she can’t quite see to her sides.

She knows though. She can almost sense when Calum approaches her. She giggles just a little into the mic, watching him smile at her. His head bobbing like it always does when he gets into whatever he’s playing or listening too. Calum plays next to her, watching the way the sweat trails down her forehead, but doesn’t streak an ounce of her makeup. He almost gives in, almost bends in to kiss her on the cheek, but he doesn’t. He lets her voice and the song carry him away, into his spin and up to the drummer’s stand. One foot on the riser, Calum bobs along, laughing at his expression, the raised eyebrow that says it all.

She gets a small break to watch the way Calum interacts with her band. Almost as if he’s known them just as long as she has. And in some ways, he probably has. She talks about Calum to them and talks about her band to Calum all the time. Once the song ends, Calum throws one hand in a tiny wave, before smiling over at her. “Didn’t scare you, did I?” he asks, away from the mic.

She shakes her head, sure that her cheeks will hurt after this. Laughing, she thanks Calum as he walks off stage. And she knows, she knows she shouldn’t. But she jogs after him, as her bassist comes back on, sending a smile over her shoulder too. It’s in that moment that it becomes clear, this was planned. Catching Calum right in the wings, she catches his wrist, tugging him in close before kissing him. It’s quick, but Calum’s heart races in his chest. She runs back out. “Sorry about that guys. I did not expect that.”

And as they get back to their set, Calum watches her for one more song, the way she dances around the stage. Their gazes lock just before he leaves and he blows a quick kiss, before his security are running him down the stage steps and across the festival grounds to get back to the mainstage in time. “How’d it go?” Michael asks.

“Well,” Calum grins, throwing his brown and black bass over his shoulder.

“Get any smooches?” Luke teases, smacking his lips together, while his arm is slung over Sierra’s shoulder.

“And if I did?”

“On stage?” Michael screeches.

“No, side stage. I almost kissed her on stage. But I didn’t want that all over the internet.” Considering that they aren’t official publically in any capacity, it would just cause more headache. Their set begins and Calum knows she has to run across the festival, so he’s not worried when by the time they step out and get three songs in, she hasn’t shown up at the side of the stage. And by the time, Calum regains consciousness enough to check again, there she is, standing off to the side, still in what she performed and breathing hard but she waves, gently from the side.

Out of reflex, once the chords are played, he gives a small wave in return. She returns the blown kiss from earlier and the other girls laugh softly at the action. “God, you guys are so fucking smitten with each other, it’s insane,” Sierra jokes.

There’s no denying it she knows. They’re like lovesick puppies and though it would normally annoy her, it’s nice. Without another word, she sips at her bottle of water and watches Calum, with all the laughs and grins he gives, pouring his soul out onto the stage.

And though the video calls, and the calls, work. They’re not quite enough. Her tour comes to an end, but just around the corner is Calum’s tour with the band. She think she might be able to sneak another week away before she starts working on her album, but then she gets asked to perform at some more festivals in her home country. And, who is she to turn that down? The more shows she plays, the more her name is out there, the more streams, and the merchandise is purchased. It becomes an endless wheel. Things just keep going, and going, and going and the whole time, she keeps looking for the breaks. For the thing that can put her life on pause and let her feel normal again.

Everytime she thinks she can get real time with Calum, it ends up short. He has something that comes up. She has something that comes in. It was the festival in LA and now her festival run. It’s his tour and her sophomore album. Why had she met Calum when she did? Was the universe playing a cruel joke on her? Was it taunting her that it could give her everything she wanted and then threatening to have it crumble? Sitting her hotel room, her phone shakes, another call from Calum. She doesn’t answer it, staring at the fridge in her room. She could get a drink. Wouldn’t be hard just take it from the mini fridge.

Her phone stops shaking. And then a minute later, it chimes, letting her know that a voice message has been left behind. The third one and more likely than not it’s from Calum. She wants this. She wants the relationship, but lately, it felt like there was no time. There was no time for anything. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t pause. And that’s all she wanted. That’s all she wants right now. She doesn’t want to open that voicemail to Calum pleading with her to answer. She wants to get back to when things were easier. And obviously, they were easier because they both had nothing to do.

Swiping her room key and her wallet, she heads down to the bar in the hotel. She orders herself a glass of wine. The glass makes a soft click as it settles down in front of her. She takes one sip. And it’s a little bitter, the red drier than she remembers it being. Soon the glass stares back at her and she can see her warped reflection. Would it just be easier for them to take things down a level? Is she afraid of hard work or more afraid of heartache?

With another two glasses of wine in her, she climbs back into the elevator and it takes her up, floor by floor until it digs and the doors slide open. The room is dark when she reenters like she left it the AC blasting. But she can see the blue light of her phone, on the desk, lighting up that corner of the room. Is it fair? If she wants to bolt, if she wants to cut ties so it makes things so much easier for them? Why couldn’t it be easy?

Calum’s sure he’s going to pull all his hair out. One moment, things are going good. They get a little tight for sure with their schedules never quite lining up to allow them more time together. But this is the third day in a row that he’s gone with nothing from her. No texts, not a returned call. Not even a meme in their Twitter thread. Nothing on her finsta. Her regular account post mainly about her upcoming shows. But he is as closed to being blocked without actually being blocked.

“Hey, I-I don’t know if something’s gone wrong. But please, please call me back. Or text me. Or send me a voice message. Something. Anything. Please? If I did anything, please let know what it was? I’m worried. Am I losing you?”

He ends the recording and sends it. Maybe he ought to stop reaching out so much. Should he wait for her to respond before sending more? But he doesn’t want to lose her? He doesn’t want to lose what they have. He hasn’t found it with anyone else in all his searching and even in his not searching. This fell into his lap and he can’t stand to lose it. Not when there had to be something to do to save it.

His phone sits for another day and half before she calls. He hands shake as he goes to answer it. He almost doesn’t want to answer it. His vegetable stir fry even threatens to come back up his throat. It’s not even burnt this time. But somewhere in his mind, somewhere deep, he had figured she wouldn’t ever call him back. He would be cursed to always wonder what went wrong. “Hey,” he breathes as he answers the call.

“Hey.” It’s croaky, like she might’ve been crying. And then it’s silent. Neither one of them are sure how to bring it up. Neither of them know how to ask what’s lingering between the two of them seems almost too much for words.

“Did I do something?”

“No,” she sighs. It would be easier if he had. It would be easier if she had. It would be easier if both of them were just bad for each other. “It’s just hard.”

“Talk to me. Let me in. We can figure it out.”

That’s the whole crux of her issue. She had let Calum in. She had let him so far in that it was starting to seem impossible to stay in her country and work. She had let him so far in that she wasn’t sure it would be possible to go months without seeing him properly. He was in everything, her bookshelves, her closet, her studio, her lyrics, her studio, in her sheets. Everything reminded her of him. And it just hurt in a way that she didn’t think being in love could hurt. In her silence, Calum continues on, “Let me look at something.” He scrolls through the emails, looking at the dates.

“How? How do we figure it out? On your tour, the only break you have in my country I’m in promo. And after that, you only get a day here or there. Everything’s so mismatched now.”

Calum blinks the tears that are stinging at his lower lash line. “Something’s gonna give.” Something has to give. There has to be something. Calum goes back to emails. What would be the magic code for them?

“I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

His throat jumps at her words, heart racing. “No, don’t say that. If you say that, I know what comes next.”

“Maybe it would just be easier, Calum.”

He is sick of it. Sick of things always blowing up in his face. But he can’t make her do something. He can’t make her take the words back, even if he wants her too. “We said there was an us.” It’s not accusorary as it falls from his lips. It just hurts. Things were going so well for so long, until time proved herself the ultimate judge yet again. “So what now?” The walls of his house start to push in closer on him.

“I’m not saying I never wanted more for us. I’m not saying that I want to cut you completely out of my life, Calum. I wanted so much more for us.”

“Me too. I want more for us.”

“Is now a good time though? Is now going to allow us more?”

Calum wants to laugh, it bubbles in his chest and he knows it’s delivery would be dry but he swallows it back down. “If you’re always waiting for the perfect moment, you’ll be waiting for a long time.”

“Maybe there’s a better time for us. Not a perfect one. Just a better one.”

“Maybe,” he whispers.

“You know, you’re in everything right? When you said to let you in, I couldn’t help but think that was my problem. You’re in my goddamn sheets. You’re in everything. When the sun rises, it’s like watching you smile. If you think I’m shutting you out, that I’m trying to save myself, I want you to know that I’m doing the exact opposite. I am drowning. In everything. In you. In whatever the fuck it means to be a musician. I am drowning and I can’t bear taking you down with me.”

He couldn’t possibly be in everything, not when she was in everything for him. In his journals, in the strings of his bass. When he sits down at a piano, he can’t help but think of the throaty notes that start the song she wrote about him. He can’t help but hear her voice, Brown irises and black tattoos. Maybe they were both drowning and couldn’t see anything but the water invading their own nostrils and lungs. “You’ll always be there,” Calum says, sniffling. The tears shock him, he hadn’t felt them until they’re running down his neck. He doesn’t even know where there is, but he feels it in the cavity of his chest.

_________________

That video is going to haunt him. And it’ll haunt her too. Whenever they see the videos and pictures of when Calum surprised her on stage it always shows just how fucking happy they were with each other. How things really were working for them. But right around the corner, right as she runs behind the edge of the stage, the world doesn’t see the kiss. They don’t see the tears that followed phone calls. They don’t see how schedules always seems to be running in parallel but never fucking intersectiong. That’s all they needed. Just one point to intersect, to meet again at, and maybe they would still be tagging each other in stupid memes. Maybe they would still be talking until crazy hours of the morning. Maybe they would still be writing small poems about each other and always posting them, but never saying who they were about.

Maybe if they just had the one chance to intersect again, her second album wouldn’t be about him. Maybe she could’ve talked about the way the clouds surf in the sky. Maybe she would have pondered the questions of existence without it being tied up in lost love. Maybe Calum would’ve had more to say in interviews. Maybe then, no one would ask him about his love life and it wouldn’t hurt to goddamn bad every time one of the other boys would jump in to save him. Maybe Calum wouldn’t feel like a rock sinking to the bottom of the river and seeing the sunlight just above him, but never having the willpower to push back up.

He hadn’t removed her number. Hadn’t unfollowed her on her finsta. Hadn’t blocked her on a goddamn platform. Because somehow that felt like a harsher step. Like a permanent close, like he was trying to erase who she was and what she had meant to him. It’s stupid, he knows. It’s insane and it’s not helping him in the slightest, but he can’t bring himself to do it. Maybe part of it was that natural and sometimes detrimental curiosity if that person was suffering just like you. He wanted to know if she bled just like him, if her pain was just as vicious as his.

Calum watches the video loop back again. The way she bites her lower lip but runs after him. The crowd is still screaming. They are still cheering. They are still buzzing. After saving the tweet, he drafts a message to her: I know you’ve moved to New York. I hope you’re enjoying it. City makes you feel anonymous doesn’t it? I have two days off during this tour. Maybe we have our better time now? I’m sure by now you know all the best places in town for pizza. I could be down for some cheesy delights.

Should he send that? His fingers shake. What’s left for them after a year and a half? They’ve still supported each other. He retweets about all her singles and videos. She praises the band’s new music in interviews. They aren’t unknown to each other. But somehow they feel like two ghosts. There’s a glass wall between and they look at each other just in passing. They never touch. They never intersect again. Instead, he exits the messaging app, but doesn’t actually delete the words.

When he goes back to the message thread, about a week from their dates in New York, there’s no shock that the app hasn’t saved it. And he feels partially relieved. He exits the app again and goes back to his mindless scroll through Instagram. An app saved him this time.

There is nothing to save him though, when he walks into the green room and spies her shrugging a coat on. The New York mornings are a little cool to the start. His heart is now in his throat. He’s not sure if he should swallow it back down. “We can go,” Ashton says quietly, taking him back his arm gently.

And somehow, like her ears are tuned in on everything, she hears something like her name, something like a soft wisp of a voice. When she looks up and sees Calum, donned in all black, though his long lined jacket has some white stitching and embroidery, she’s sure she could melt into the floor. He still looks good. Still has the same quiet pout to his face that makes him look slightly less approachable but it changes in a heartbeat when he smiles. She grabs the strap to her bookbag purse.

She knows it was her that ended things. She knows that seeing Calum here in front of her, should make her feel embarrassed. But somehow, all she wants to do, all she’s ever wanted to do since that phone call is embrace him one last time. Tell him that he’s still handsome as ever. Promise him that she meant what she said, that he was and still is in everything. “C’mon. We gotta go,” her security tell her.

But all she can do is stare at Calum. Unzipping her purse, she finds the note, the letter she never had the courage to send him and with a deep breath, she walks over. Ashton looks like he could probably murder her. And she doesn’t blame him. She could never blame that instinct to protect the ones you love especially from the ones that hurt them the most. “I’m sorry,” she says, holding out the white envelope. “For everything. And if we don’t ever get that better time, know I’d only ever wish the best for you.”

Calum’s fingers barely grasp onto the note before she’s sidestepping him. The boys circle around him, like they’re just waiting for his word to pounce. She steps through the heavy glass door. And she’s leaving him again. She’s going to slip through his fingers. Again. Pushing through Luke and Michael, Calum swings open the door. “Wait!” he calls out.

She stops, spinning on her heels to face him again. Calum jogs down the corridor. All the offices have windows. Everyone is probably watching. With both hands cupping her face, letter between his fingers and all, he pulls her in close. “You’re not leaving me again. You’re not going to walk out my life a second time. Not without me putting up a hell of a fight.”

“You shouldn’t fight for me. Not after what I did.”

“Meet me tonight. Let’s actually talk about it. I’ve been holding so much inside and if, god forbid, if it’s not now if we had our shoot and we fucking blew it, at least I’ll know for sure.”

“Does 8 work for you?” She tries so hard not to wrap her hands around his wrist, not to slide it up his forearms and tug herself into his chest. And god, he still smells the same. Old Spice and Gain. It feels so right to press herself into his chest.

“Yeah,” he mumbles into the top of her head. It’s still the same scent as before in almost two years, he can’t even believe it.

She takes a step back, patting at her pockets and pulls out a pen. Pulling the envelope from his fingers, she scribbles down a name and address. “If this place is too far from your hotel, just call me.” He watches her, jotting down more numbers. “It’s my new US number.” While handing the infor back to him, she grins just a little. “Don’t lose it now.”

Calum laughs, remembering the first time she delivered that line to him. “I won’t. Promise.”

Dear Calum,

There’s no real way to say this that doesn’t make my chest feel like it’s been punched in. I shouldn’t have let you go. There was a way to make it all work. There was a way so that you and I could’ve pushed through. I was just too scared of things going too right, going too well. Maybe that sounds dumb. Or maybe that sounds insane. But the truth of the matter, I messed up. I’m sorry. And you don’t have to ever forgive me. You deserve the ability to move on. You deserve everything good that comes to you in the future. I want you to be happy. Even if it’s not with me. Even if our better time has passed.

You deserve to be happy.

Calum reads over the letter again. Still not sure how his lungs are still operating because he was positive all the air had been exhaled. It’s the fourth time he’s read it today. Since he had Michael read it out to him in the green room. He would’ve asked Ashton, but knew that Ashton would’ve told him not to worry, to keep moving forward. Because he had, in a way. He had thrown himself into music. He had tried to chase after her in other people. He had read all the books on poetry, and love, and philosophy. But something down in his gut told him that he would never let her go again if he got a second chance with her.

He looks at the date. She wrote it six months after everything went south. Maybe she forgot to send it. It had his name on it--just never fully addressed out though. She could’ve messaged him. Emailed. Called. Literally anything and he would’ve answered. But hadn’t she? What held her back? And just as he goes to read it over one more time, the door chimes open. He looks at his phone. Just as the time ticks over to 8. And when he glances over his shoulder, there she is. In the same jacket from before.

The little pizza shop isn’t too loud. Most people come in just to get their few slices and then dip right back out. She smiles, waving just a little before sliding onto the stool next to him. She points to the letter, that he hasn’t even moved to put up, “Sorry it’s not my best work. I thought about finding a synonym for happy but nothing fit right.”

With a breathy chuckle, Calum folds the letter up, slipping it into his pocket. “What do you recommend off the menu?”

“God, with this place, anything.”

They settle back down on the stools, paper plates not fully supporting the extra large slices and a stack of napkins between them. The grease runs down his chin and Calum feels it rolling too. But his hands are full trying to keep his slice from falling. She laughs, dabbing at his face with a napkin. “I still see you’re the messiest eater around.”

“Hey, hey, it’s not my fault,” he grins. Their giggles dissipate as the bell chimes again, a signal of another patron entering. “What happened?” The question doesn’t feel full enough, doesn’t feel like it fully encapsulates all the confusion he holds. But yet, those are the only words he has.

“A lot started happening all at once. Your tour, my second album. More shows. It just-I felt like I couldn’t breathe. That I wasn’t a person. And maybe part of it was selfish. Maybe I was trying to save myself all along and I was just telling myself and you that I wasn’t selfish. I really am sorry. Like, if I had known, god if I had known that doing that would’ve caused all the pain it did, trust me, I wouldn’t have. If I could go back and tell myself, that crazy shit happens and you just gotta learn how to keep your cool, I’d do it in a heartbeat. It was a mistake letting you go. But at the same time, reaching out felt wrong too. Like I would’ve been ruining the peace you had created for yourself. And I didn’t want to do that either.”

“You know, I felt like we had something different. Like that was really going to be it for me and I had finally figured out this whole being in love thing. That I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. And maybe that was my mistake. Maybe I saw something happening and didn’t do anything.”

“We were living continents away. With everything happening, you weren’t seeing all of it. No need to blame yourself.” She takes his hand, slipping her fingers between his, twisting at the silver band around his middle finger. “I do want you to be happy, Calum. I want you to be so happy it just can’t be contained.”

“I was with you.” He squeezes her hand, willing her to look at him and not the street in front of them, through the glass.

“I’m still not in L.A.”

“But you are in the same country as me now and I will take that.”

“You’d still take me back after everything?” When she looks at him, brows furrowed together, Calum knows he’s a goner. He always was with her.

“I would.”

“You’d be crazy.”

“I am already crazy. Because I’m tempted to ask you where you’re staying and if I could stay the night.”

He’s leaned in to her, just a hair. And she leans in too, resting mostly shoulder to shoulder. “You are crazy,” she laughs softly, taking in the reflection of the neon lights on the street. “But maybe I’m also crazy too.”

The night is cool again. Both of their boots scuff the concrete. She doesn’t stay far from the small diner, a ten minute walk really. With fingers threaded through each other, they walk huddled close up the sidewalks. The wind whips across their faces. They dodge piles of trash on the edge of the sidewalks and they keep their heads down so as to not attract a crowd. “How do you like New York? Got to be a huge shock?”

“It most definitely is. I like feeling anonymous here. With so many people around.”

“I know you said you don’t do well with people and New York feels like the opposite of the place you want to. Especially not in the city.”

“I mean, I still don’t do great with people. I’m in the city for the time being. But I have my eye on a few places further out. But after everything, I felt less lonely here. I don’t know. No one cared about who I was. No one cared what the fuck I was doing here. And I liked it better that way. Back home, everyone knew. Everyone looked at me like I was a broken vase. Here, no one gave a shit. It’s move or be moved here. Forced me to come to terms with everything. Forced me to accept everything I was trying to hide.”

“Do you need to go to your hotel? Grab or bag or something?” She asks just before they pass the opening for the subway.

“I have my roomkey. It’s all good. All the interviews were today.”

“As long as you’re sure.”

He gives her hand another squeeze. “I’m sure.” They reach the door to the complex and she digs out her keys, opening the front door. Calum follows her through the second set of doors. The elevator is a little janky as it carries them up, and definitely tiny. In the space, they’re pressed chest to chest. There are a few extra lines around her eyes, he notices and runs the pad of his thumb over the skin. It’s just as soft as it’s always been. She feels so familiar under his touch, yet so new.

It’s not a far ascent and she laughs when he pouts as she pulls away. “Just like four more steps.”

It’s true to word, when they step out of the elevator, her door is directly in front of it. Her keys jingle just a little as she works the lock and pushes into the chipping red paint of the door. Her dog leaps from the couch, greeting her and then barking just a little when they spot Calum. He laughs, kneeling to hug them to his chest. “You still remember me, huh?” he laughs, as they attempt to lick his face and jaw. “Oh, too long, I know. Sorry, bubs. Didn’t forget about you.”

She takes his jacket, hanging it by the door. “Want anything to drink?”

Calum shakes his head from her couch, working at his shoes. “No, I’m good, thank you.”

She nods, watching as her dog claims Calum’s attention. But she can’t find an ounce of herself to be mad or annoyed. So she slips out of her shoes and puts them up, before getting herself a bottle of water. When she settles onto the couch, she just laughs at the antics. Calum keeps trying to say something but at every twist, her dog is right there, plopping themselves in his lap. Calum eventually gives up and wraps his arms around their body, scratching lightly at their fur.

“Someone missed you too,” she teases, putting her two fingers really close together. “Just a tiny bit.”

His laughter echoes in her head. “Yeah, clearly just a little.” He lifts his head just a little when he feels the wet tongue at his chin. “So, you’re working on your third album?”

“On and off,” she admits. “Playing more shows than anything for the time being. I don’t have to think. Everytime I think too much I end up fucking something up. So I’m just taking it easy for the time being. Taking some brand deals.”

“You’ve got a collab coming out soon, right?”

She nods at the question, laughing as her dog finally settles down. “Yeah, next month. I’ve always lived kind of a boring life, you know that.”

“There’s a lot I don’t know.” He can finally shift, as her dog wanders over to the water bowl, so that he can sit in front of her. It’s a dangerous game. He’s played it before with her. But he takes her chin into his hands. “We haven’t really talked in a while.”

“Is there something you want to say, Calum?”

“Yeah,” he returns simply. Her breath hitches, eyes searching his brown ones for something, anything that tells her what’s going on. “I wonder if your lips still feel the same. I always thought about the way you’d laugh sometimes into a kiss. And it used to haunt me. But right now, I want to find out if anything else has changed.”

She wastes no time, pushing up and sealing her mouth around his. His hand slides to the back of her neck and she pulls at the collar of his shirt. They fall into each other, then falling into the arm of the couch. She exhales her laughter, still pecking at Calum’s lip. Her fingers tease the skin of his upper chest and neck.

“I was right,” he grins.

She hooks her finger around the gold plate. “I guess you were.” She pulls him back in for another kiss, slipping her hands into his hair.

As his lips trail over her jaw and down to her neck, she thinks about the time at her apartment back home, Calum woke her up with kisses down her jaw. They still feel the same. Maybe even a little bit better. His finger push up the hem of her shirt, squeezing at the flesh of her side. She sighs and Calum groans at the sound. It sets off everything in his body when he hears her quiet noises of pleasure.

“Is this okay?” he asks, pulling away to look at her as his fingers brush over her skin. “I don’t want to push you or take things too fast this time.”

Being with Calum feels like no time has past, if she’s honest. She doesn’t have the butterflies, just the comfort of someone she’s known for a year. And it sort of feels like they’re picking back up from where they left off. “I’m okay with it.”

He grins and she sees it--that rising sun in the gleam. His forehead rests against her. “I kinda feel like we have a lot of lost time to make up for.” His lips brush just over hers as he speaks.

She exhales her laughter again, but agrees. “Just a little bit. I really am sorry.”

“We all make mistakes. You just have to communicate with me, okay? That’s all. Talk to me this time. If you feel like you’re drowning, let me help. Please.”

She pushes up and Calum settles back down into the cushion, taking her hands into his. “I know things won’t be like, perfect now. But I guess, it’s really important that we do get to spend quality time together.”

“It is. And I know my tour schedule is pretty packed right now, but there’s another longer break in about three weeks. They’re LA shows. I don’t know if you have plans, but if you do, we can hang out then.”

She has to laugh because here’s the trouble all over again. “Booked recording sessions then.”

“Okay, well, the week after that is the break between legs. What are you doing then?”

“Nothing.” There’s a break between sessions, and she had just planned to use the time to breathe.

“I’ll fly you out then. Just you and I and my rehearsals. But that’s besides the point.”

Laughing, she rests her head into his bicep. “Just you, I, and your rehearsals. Got it.”

“We’ll have to better plan out things, that’s all. We’ll have to look at both our schedules and make sure that there’s sufficient breaks and time together.” He guides her head up. “I want you. And I mean all of you. I can’t stand to lose you again.”

“I just have to make sure Ashton doesn’t kill me.”

“He’s protective, yes. But not an evil. I’ll talk to him. Don’t you worry.”

“He did write a whole song about how he’d bury a body for you. So I think I have a little bit to worry about.”

Calum laughs, shaking his head. “Maybe just a little bit.” Her grin makes him want to bottle it. He wants to carry it with him in his pocket. Leaning closer, he kisses her again. “But right now, it’s just you and I. There’s nothing else but time for us right now.”

She hums. “I like the sound of that.”

Fingers trail back under shirts. She drinks down his moans as they tease, barely touch. Calum’s shirt is discarded in the living room and her is pulled off in the hallway. Calum holds her face in his hands, memorizing the way her teeth sink into his bottom lip in the gentle nip. He moans. Fuck, she feels so good against him.

Her spine shivers as his fingers trail to her back and unsnap the band of her bra. As the fabric falls from her shoulders and she tosses it somewhere, Calum takes a hand just to cup her. His fingers roll the erect bud and she sighs again, mouth falling slack against his. He laughs. “Hmm, that’s right. Someone does like their nipples played with.”

She grins though, blinking open her eyes. “Don’t think I forgot that you don’t listening to rules and like a little pain.”

Finding her waist with both hands, Calum holds her in close. “You wouldn’t dare.”

She bends her knees, just a little and with hot and open mouth kisses she trails down his chest before taking her teeth into the meat of his peck. Calum jolts, a grunt falling over his lips and throat. “I would dare,” she returns.

They fall into her sheets, the same golden ones from before. They’re just as soft against Calum’s skin. It’s warm, as their skin heats up. Her skirt has landed somewhere to the floor and Calum pushes his hips up as she shrugs the denim down. She kisses over his thighs, moaning just a little. Calum lets his eyes flutter close at her soft kisses.

Everything just feels right. Even as Calum takes a nipple into his mouth, tongue teasing her just a little. Or when she kisses over his length. But right now, she tosses her head back when Calum pries her legs open kissing up her inner thighs. “I’ve dreamed of this,” he whispers, watching as she clenches, more of her arousal leaking from her.

She huffs, pulling a hand through her hair. “You sure do know how to make a girl sweat.”

“It’s a speciality,” he laughs with a wink before kissing her clit. She balls on fist around her sheets, stomach completely clenched. The last thing she wants is to have to wait much longer for anything. The anticipation can be a good thing, though she’s doing everything she can to keep her cool. That is, until Calum finally takes the first lap from her and she unravels, a moan leaving her throat as it mixes with a whine.

He takes his time, pushing her thighs and knees to give him all the access he could ever want. Calum licks another stripe over her, before sucking her clit into his mouth. She taste better than he could’ve ever imagined. Every sound she gives--moans, groans, or a whine--rattles in his brain and spurs him on. One of her hands finds it’s way into his hair and she tries to push up with her hips and his face down into her core. But it’s not like he needs the assistance or the reminder. When he trails down to her opening, his nose brushes over her clit and her body is reeling.

“Oh, fuck,” she whines, feeling the coil in her lower gut tightening.

Calum hums at the sounds, and when she praises him, tells him that he’s the only one to make her feel this fucking food, he rewards, slipping a finger into the mix, pushing up into her. “Is that so?” he asks, watching her head dive deeper into the pillows.

“God, Calum,” she huffs.

Another finger finds it way inside, pushing and curling in all the right places. Her body feels like it’s on fire. She feels like she’s a coil so tightly wound she’s going to break. His tongue flicks across her click, lapping at her. And that’s it, that’s the right combination to send her over the edge. Over she goes, with a yelp, her orgasm rocking her frame and toes curling as she cries out for Calum.

He keeps her going, keeps curling his fingers at her. So lost in the way she sounds. And when the huffs turn into a hiss, he pulls back. She beckons him up, kissing him and tasting her own arousal coating his lips and tongue. He’s careful not to settle fully against her, but it’s quickly changed when her legs come up and lock around his waist. “I’m not gonna break,” she laughs, when he finally let’s go and sinks into her.

She swallows his response with a kiss but it doesn’t matter anyway. Her hips come up and Calum rolls onto his back, letting her settle atop him. Her nails rake down his skin and she sucks at his neck, he’s sure it’ll bruise just a little but it’s okay with him. His nails dig into the flesh of her hips, not sure if he wants the friction right now or if he just needed to revel in the feeling of her against him.

“Shit,” he whines when she rocks over him. “I-fuck.”

She laughs, pulling away to reach into her drawer. “That sounds about right.”

Calum delivers a swift swat to her ass at the joke, but laughs anyway. “That is not funny.”

“Then why are you laughing.” When she turns her attention back to him, condom in hand. She stretches down to kiss him again. “Did I ever tell you you’re not the only one that likes a little pain?”

His eyebrows arches and he smooths over her ass before delivering another spank to her opposite cheek. She sighs, eyes fluttering close just a little. “Oh, buttercup, you should’ve never told me that.”

“We can save it for another time? Because right now the only thing I can think about is riding you until the sun rises.”

Kneading at her breast, Calum grins. “Now, that sounds about right.”

There’s a moment, right as she settles down on him fully, that they both moan at the feeling. Calum because of the warmth and slickness, her because of the stretch. Her head is dizzy again with need. She steadies herself with her hands planted on his chest and rocks. All she can focus on is the girth of him, stretching her completely open. It makes her toes tingle and she falters, falling into his chest, but starts a new cadence, pulling up and settling back down on his length.

“Holy shit,” he huffs. She buries her face into the crook of his neck and Calum coaxes her out, to look at him. “You don’t get to hide from me, not again. Wanna see that pretty face when you cum.”

Her hips are still rocking but she nods, eyes fluttering close just for a moment. Calum kisses her, and it’s his turn to swallow down the moan she feeds him. She pushes back up, pulling her own breast between her fingers. Calum loses the top of his head, he’s sure, watching as she rides him. His fingers trail over her hips, up to her stomach. “Why’d you have to be so handsome?” she teases breathy.

He’s not sure how to respond. Unsure of the heat he feels is a blush or the sweltering of arousal flooding his body. She takes one of his hands, trailing it towards her heat. And Calum takes the hint, thumb circling the bundle of nerves. Her head falls back on her neck as a hum builds in her chest. Calum kneads at her right breast, pulling and pushing at every button he can to have orgasm again for him.

A high pitched squeak falls from her. The bed taps against the wall, but neither one of them really cares. Her orgasm washes over it, like a wave crashing into the shoreline. She shudders, clenching around him and falls again into his chest, but pushes up onto her elbows, remember Calum’s early demand. “Fuck,” she whines when he starts to fuck up into her. He pulls her body up and she’s useless, body still like jello from her orgasm. Her words catch in her throat.

“It’s okay,” he whispers into her ear when she bites down onto his shoulder. “You know I like the pain.”

“Feel so good,” she returns. “Calum, shit, you feel so good.” His hips start to stutter, trying to ride out for longer, but knowing that inevitably he’s at the end of his rope. She kisses over his neck. “Cum for me, yeah? Please.”

Who is he to deny her? Who is he she to defy her? He ruts up once, twice, and she clenches hard, taking most of the wind of his third thrust but he cums hard, arms squeezing her to his chest and he knows he’s loud in her ear as he groans. Though, it’s suspected that’s just the sound she wanted to hear as she seals his mouth with hers.

Calum wraps the towel around his waist. She’s already under the cover, with them flipped down for him. She pats the spot in the mattress. He can see some of the hickies covering her chest that he left behind. Without much thought, Calum dries off a bit more and then slips between the sheets. “Hey,” she whispers. “Come here often?”

“My first time actually. But the first of many, I hope.”

Her nose scrunches as Calum taps it. “Yeah, of many. I brought your phone into the room. Put it on my spare charger. And I know that it’ll go off at 5:55 AM. No, you don’t have to turn it off. I know it’s important to you.”

“You--you still remember that?

“I don’t know if you really remember. But when I said that you were in everything, you were everywhere. I meant it.” She turns to her back, the sheets tucked up to her chin. Both of them are bare beneath them.

Calum’s taken up drawing random patterns on her stomach as he holds himself up on his elbow, facing her. “I remember. Could never forget that.”

“Guess we might’ve meant for something more, something better.” Her voice is soft. The blinds in her window let the lights of the city in. Nothing about it is quiet as sirens pass by. Calum lets his head fall into her pillows. She turns, both of them now facing each other again. Her arm slides over his waist. He throws one of his legs over hers.

She’s content like this, where she can kiss across the tattoos on his chest. Though she can’t really see the one just under his peck, she thinks about the question poised there. Why would she choose anything other than Calum? It remains quiet for a while and she thinks he’s fallen asleep until his chest rumbles.

“We were. It was just a matter of getting there. Finding the right path for us.” He’s positive, as she shuffles in a little closer that this is it for him. And if he has to fight hell, heaven, or high water, he’d do it all for her.

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tired0artist · 3 years

Text

sing to me (part four)

<<part one>> <<part two>> <<part three>>

paring: female!V x Johnny Silverhand

summary: a street kid V falls in love with SAMURAI music and idolises Johnny Silverhand. years later she finally understands the saying ��never meet your idols”

warnings: angst and fluff, Johnny being a dick as always, arguments, V plays the guitar, MORE JOHNNY AND V ACTION IN THIS ONE!!!, references to death, badass V, more/different warnings in the future parts

note: I’m describing my V, but you can imagine her however you want tho

•SAMURAI fan V (street kid)•

V was mad. No. She was fucking furious.

She drove back to her apartment, her whole body in pain. There was dry blood on her temple and her left arm was seriously bruised.

But well. That would happen when someone is fingering some drunk whore, while she’s driving and then has an accident.

V walked inside her apartment and wished that she had that old door that she could slam. She immediately took off her clothes and went to take a shower.

Her body was covered in bruises not only from the car crash but the fight in the male bathroom. She wanted to scream at something. Or rather someone.

She left the bathroom after patching her temple wound. It needed only two stitches so she could handle it.

Then she dressed herself in some comfy and soft clothes, drank some well needed water and laid down on her bed.

V slept for at least two hours. She ordered some food and sat down on her couch, still feeling worse than shit and still full of anger.

“Why’d you order Mexican? Pizza or Chinese would be way better”

She opened her eyes to see Johnny sitting on her couch, both legs on her coffee table.

“You don’t have a say in this. Not after the shit you pulled last night” she said, gritting her teeth in anger.

He rolled his eyes “Come on, kid. What’s the big deal? I just had some fun while getting info”

That made her stand up from where she was sitting on her bed. V pointed at him nearly screaming “Some fun?! Johnny that was way more than some fun! Drinking? I can handle, cool, fine in my book. But taking drugs, in my body. Without my consent. While I’m on fuck knows what pills to let you take the control?! That was fucked up. And then you finger some chick, while she’s driving and have a car accident! Think a bit Johnny, I beg you to think. Because you weren’t putting only yourself in danger. But me too”

Johnny was silent as he stared at the angry woman. He doesn’t remember the last person who screamed at him with such anger. Even Alt or Rogue never were angry at him so much that they were basically vibrating with it. With them it was mostly some yelling and then a lot of sex, after that they were cool. But with V, it won’t work that way.

He really fucked that up didn’t he?

“V I—“

“Shut up. I don’t want to hear from you now. I will keep my promise. I’ll kill Smasher for you and work with Rogue. But that was the last time, that I willingly let you use my body. So go ahead and ghost off, Johnny”

And he did just that. He went back to sitting around in her subconsciousness.

V took and deep breath and went to take some painkillers, to maybe stop the banging in her head. Or the ache around her heart. That she didn’t know if was because of the feeling of betrayal, the relic or all the drugs, alcohol and Misty’s pills Johnny mixed yesterday.

The food arrived soon and V managed to at least eat half of it. Which was a win in her eyes, seeing how she started loosing weight ever since the relic stopped her from keeping anything down.

She cleaned up and put the rest of her take out in her small fridge, for later. After eating a bit, V started feeling better, so with a new found strength she took her guitar.

Sitting down on her bed she started strumming softly, eyes closed. Finally feeling relaxed.

But not for long it would seem.

“V”

“I told you to go away. I don’t want to even look at you for now”

“Come on, V. I—“

V opened her eyes to stare at him coldly as he was leaning against the wall, where he first appeared.

Instead of replying, V started playing her guitar loudly and aggressively. The sound bouncing off the walls, as the electric guitar was finally used to it’s full potential. V’s fingers were skilfully moving, her eyes closed as she smirked.

Johnny was impressed. He knew the kid could play but, he didn’t know just how well. Still he rolled his eyes saying.

“You know that this won’t drown me out. I’m in your head”

V didn’t answer, pretending that she didn’t hear him over the sound of her guitar.

“Come on, V. Stop acting like a angsty teenager and let me talk”

This caused V to snort as she picked up the pace, playing even louder.

Johnny was irritated. He didn’t like to feel ignored. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry”

That made her stop and let out a tired breath “Sorry won’t cut it for the shit you pulled, Johnny. You didn’t break my favourite vase, you used my body and lied to me”

Johnny shuffled his feet, apologising was new for him. He didn’t exactly know what to say next, so he said the true truth.

“I planned to go partying from the start. I thought that you wouldn’t let me, so I just did it behind your back. I figured that you’d be mad but I didn’t care. I didn’t think”

V stared at him, bitting her lip. She still was mad but the whole situation now made her more tired.

“You rarely do, Johnny. You’re a selfish dick. I keep on giving and giving. I’m trying to be nice to you, cause I know that it’s not easy for you. Sure I yell at you sometimes, but you drive me crazy. Either way I can feel that it’s not easy for you” she said quietly and out loud.

She looked down and continued “But fuck Johnny. It’s not easy for me either. Everyday I wake up and my first thought is that how long do I have, before I die. Then I go to the shower and all my brain can think about is that I’m not alone in there, that you can see and feel everything. Sometimes I look into my mirror and all I can see is you. I eat things that I never liked. I drink things that I would rather die than taste and I like them. Fuck. Even the way I play my guitar is starting to become more like you than me. Everyday I feel like I’m loosing myself, Johnny... And still I’m giving you a hundred. I’m giving you my body even if it scares the living hell out of me. And you fuck me over”

Johnny looked away from the woman who said that would take a bullet for him. Who really, is giving him a hundred.

Guilt was eating him alive. He regretted the whole thing. He failed her. He fucked her over, because that’s what he was used to doing. He didn’t even think what kind of a trust she gave him that night.

“I really regret it... I’m sorry V. I really am, no bullshit here” he said honestly, his voice softer than ever.

V only smiled sadly “I know you are. But what’s done is done, Johnny. Words won’t help you with this time. You need to show me that you would take a bullet for me”

Johnny looked at her and pulled away from where he was against the wall. He kneeled in front of her and touched her right arm.

“Well I can start with a bit more honesty...”

She nodded “Okay”

Johnny grinned sheepishly and tucked her sleeve up “I might have made you a tattoo”

V immediately looked down and brought up her arm up to see a heart with words inside of it.

JOHNNY

“I am. Going to kill you” she said, glaring at the rockerboy.

He smiled at her saying “I thought that you’d be happy. It’s my own hand writing by the way, along with the heart. Since you were such a SAMURAI fan, I wanted to give you an autograph”

V blushed red. She did every time he mentioned her love of his band and the tiny crush she had on him as a teenager.

“You have a second to disappear before I strangle you” she said with a deadly smile.

Johnny smirked and disappeared, his laugh echoing inside her head.

V sighed and touched the tattoo “The fuck am I supposed to do with this?”

Two days later, V and Rogue met up to find Smasher. Unfortunately, they only found Grayson.

“I’ve got something that belonged to Silverhand! I can give it to you!”

That made V stop and don’t shoot the man. She glanced at Johnny who was pacing around, she knew that he wanted his things back. She glared at the man asking “What is it? What. Do. You. Have?”

“I—I the... em... the—“

“Speak up! Before I shoot your head off!” she yelled with a glare, Johnny’s gun in her hands feeling like it belonged there.

Grayson jumped and said “In the container on that goliath over there. Take the access card and you’ll see”

V took it and nodded at the man “I appreciate that. Now. Goodnight” with that she shot the surprised fucker right between the eyes.

Both Rogue and Johnny seemed surprised as V without a second look put Johnny’s gun in her holster and looked at Rogue to listen to what she got to say.

After Rogue left, V went to find the container.

“Oh fuck. Think I know what it is” Johnny said just as V was opening the container.

It turned out to be Johnny’s old car.

“Hop in. I’ll even let you drive” he said, materialising inside the car.

V laughed at bit saying “Not like you got much choice there”

The ride to the oil fields was mostly silent and V was trying her best not to hit anything, while driving Johnny’s car.

Once there, V’s heart sank a bit as Johnny said “Worse than I thought”

V bit her lip and got out of the car, walking to the place where Johnny’s body was supposed to be.

There was nothing there. A cement plank and some garbage.

“So that’s how it is. Nothing here at all” Johnny said, sitting down and staring at the place of his burial.

V also sat down with a heavy heart, saying “What did you expect Johnny? Headstone? A flag and flowers?” hearing how harsh it came out, she sighed adding softly “It’s Arasaka we’re talking about, Johnny...”

Johnny didn’t look at her as he said “Nah... just... I—I don’t know. A marker?” he paused, his voice low and sad “Something. Anything”

V smiled softly at him as his gaze flickered to her. She looked down a took a piece of metal saying “We’ll figure something out”

With that said she scratched his initials and year of death on the stone.

J. S 2023

“How’s that?” she asked, hoping that at least this small thing will make his heart lighter. Or rather. Their heart lighter.

He smiled at her sadly saying “A bit. But let’s say it was my real grave. What would you write? Here lies Johnny Silverhand...”

Without a hesitation, V said “The guy who saved my life and brought music into it”

Johnny smiled at her and took off his glasses. He then got up and said “V... you don’t know how much I want that to be true. Listen. I realise that I fucked up a lot of things. Either let down or used every last person who gave me their trust. Blind, selfish dick that I was. But I’ve managed one thing for now. Not to fuck this up, what we have”

V sighed and looked away “No Johnny. You fucked that up too. You used me, lied to me... I can’t trust you at all”

“Ahem... is it too late to ask for a second chance?” the rockerboy awkwardly but honestly asked.

“What do you want from me?”

He sat down next to her, looking ahead “Most people I thought were my friends, they couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as me” he turned to look at her, continuing “You’re fucking closest to me by a long shot. There twenty-four seven. And yet... you don’t seem to hate my living guts. At least... so it seemed. Till now...”

V took a deep breath, and looked at the man “Okay... but as second chances go, this is your last. I refuse to be that naive”

Johnny grinned at her “I’ll try dammed hard” he then got up in front of her, the same grin in place as he said “Johnny Silverhand. Relentless Rockerboy Who Never Gives Up”

V also got up and shook hand with him, saying “V. A Wanna Be Musician And A Part Time Merc”

Johnny smirked adding “Forgot to add ‘SAMURAI Fangirl’ in there”

She rolled her eyes instead saying “You were a real dick at the beginning”

“I know, and you were a whiny cunt” he said, shrugging.

V snorted and shook her head, when she remembered something.

“Do you still feel like you’re suffocating? Like I’m holding you down?”

Johnny observed her for a second before replying “No. Now it’s more... normal to me. Not great, though. Sometimes when I wake up... it feels like I’m back for a while”

“Back?”

“Like this body is mine. Like I’m free. Seconds later I feel like I’m missing something. Something really important. Then I realise that you’re there, always were. And this stupid wave of relief washes over me” Johnny admits, looking away from V.

She watches him and softly replies “I have the same thing. I wake up and go through my routine and then I’m starting to panic a bit. Because you’re not there and somehow... the thought of you disappearing is so fucking scary...”

“I know, V. I can feel it, that’s why—“

“That’s why always after or in the middle of it you appear” she finished never really connecting the dots that were clearly there.

He nodded “Yeah... I guess we both, got pretty close to each other. Never thought that we’d make this far”

“Me neither. I seriously thought that you would murder me in my apartment, with everyone thinking that it was cyber psychosis...”

Johnny took her hand and looked into her eyes “I would never. I swear that I’ll keep you safe and sound okay?”

Slowly she nodded “Okay... okay. I believe you”

He smiled and squeezed her hand, before letting go and saying “Let’s delta out of here. Nothing here to see”

V watched him walk to the car and smiled, slowly following after him. Her heart feeling lighter and butterflies dancing in her stomach.

•english isn’t my first language so sorry for any errors.

•you wanna be tagged in the next parts? leave a comment!

•thanks for reading! hope you like it. I will be going through some parts of the main story and beyond. I’m planning it to be a bit longer so if you want something longer than 5/6 parts, this is for you

•tag list: @signwriting @missweatherwax @axshadows

#cp2077 #cyberpunk 2077 #johnny silverhand #johnny silverhand x v #night city #female v #v

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httpsfelicity · 4 years

Text

“In a black dress, she’s such an actress” - Harry Styles × Model Reader AU (Part 2/?)

Summary - Harry meets a model downtown and falls for her quickly, leading the public to think that it’s a pr stunt. Unsure of what to think, the reader plays along, not knowing that Harry is unaware of the rumours.

For @cruizmanadu, @stephaniemalvie!, @kissessfordraco Xx

A/N - Part two! Thank you sooo much for the feedback on part one, I never expected it! Glad you guys like it so far. If you haven’t read part one, click here x Once again, if you’d like a part 3 / have suggestions / ect, just send a DM or ask! Here you go babessss :)

Harry Styles: Hi

Y/n <3: Hi

Harry Styles: Why are you awake, it’s 3am?

Y/n <3: I could ask you the same thing, you messaged me first!

Harry Styles: You’re right. What’s up?

Y/n <3: Watching TV, you?

Harry Styles: Not much. Listening to The Beatles, y’know, normal night things.

Y/n <3: Never really got around to listening to them personally

Harry Styles: Omg reported and BLOCKED.

Y/n <3: Omg noooooo come back

Harry Styles: Kiddinggggggg, but I have to make you listen to one of their albums sometime

Harry Styles: Are you free tomorrow?

Y/n <3: I have a shoot all day. I’m free the next day tho

Harry Styles: We could maybe do something then? The park?

Harry Styles: Unless you have a better idea, of course

Y/n <3: No that sounds great! What time?

Harry Styles: 7?

Y/n <3: Sure! :)

Harry Styles: Now, GO TO SLEEP!

Y/n <3: Only if you do!

Harry Styles: Okayyyy, goodnight!

Y/n <3: Goodnight!

Seen: 3:14am

As you crawled into bed, a feeling of satisfaction spread through you. He wanted to spend more time with you - that ought to be a good sign, right? “Maybe this could work out, after all,” was the last thing you thought before you fell asleep.

The next day was the usual whirlwind of events that occurred every shoot day - wake up early, take a cab over to the location (That particular day’s mystery place happened to be an old art studio), take another cab with some assigned lady to get you ready, another cab back to the location, then a whole day of photos. It was all a blur to you, so when the head of the whole operation thanked you at the end of the day, you were glad it was all over. Of course you adored your job, but considering the amount of sleep you’d gotten last night (Which, by the way, you did not regret one bit) you were thankful that in 45 minutes you’d be fast asleep.

What you did not expect, however, was for that little power nap to turn into a full 14 hours. By the time you woke up the next day, it was the crack of 11am. You sat up frantically, taking in your surroundings. You were still wearing your street clothes - jeans and a blouse - and a quick glance in the mirror revealed you hadn’t taken off your extravagant makeup, either. Trust me, it was not a pretty sight. You scrambled for your phone, and aside from all of the usual twitter notifications, DM requests, and messages from Ella and Harry (Which you were over the moon about), you noticed that you had 4 missed calls. From, none other than Harry.

You quickly clicked on his contact and dialed up his number. After a few rings, he picked up.

“Hi!” He said cheerfully.

“Hey,” you laughed. “Why did you call me? Four times, to be exact?”

“Just wanted to make sure we were still on for tonight. But then I got worried when you didn’t answer, so I called again to make sure everything was alright.”

“And again, and again.”

“Correct,” he laughed.

“Rough photoshoot. I was exhausted, and it wasn’t all that exciting. By the time I got home, I was asleep. Literally. I slept for 14 hours straight.”

Harry laughed so hard on the other end that you had to move your phone away from your ear for a couple of seconds so he could calm down. “Oh, wow, I... well, I guess it’s not that funny. That’s awful. You should’ve gotten more sleep the night before!”

“I would’ve, but somebody just had to message me at 3am!”

Cue another round of laughter. “Oh my god... look, I’m sorry, I really am! I didn’t know you had to wake up so early. I won’t message you so late into the night anymore, I promise.”

“Don’t promise that! I quite liked it. Besides, all of those shoots are the same. Nothing worth remembering, if you ask me.”

“Alright, alright, fine. But are we still on for later? If you’re still tired, we can reschedule...”

“No! After twice the amount of sleep I usually get, I feel like I could run a marathon. Seven?”

“Yup.”

“Okay. Gives me enough time to adjust myself to reality.”

This sent both of them into bouts of laughter.

“Alright, well, I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you then?”

“You’ve got it! Bye!”

“Bye! And for the love of god try not to fall asleep this time, yeah?” He cracked himself up.

“I’ll try!” You replied as you hung up. You sighed, smiled, and then leaned against your headboard, though not for long. You had things to do - number one, get a shower.

Flash forward a few hours, and you were all set. You were wearing a pair of jeans and a blouse, similar to yesterday’s outfits, just with less smeared makeup and bedhead. You had even managed to listen to a few albums while you were doing your hair. You quickly ate a salad for supper, confirmed the meeting spot with Harry, then headed out the door.

You arrived 10 minutes early, and to your surprise, Harry was already there again.

“How did you get here before me?” You laughed as you walked up to him. “I left even earlier than last time, specifically to race you!”

“Oh, I have my ways,” he grinned. “So, would you like to know what I have planned?”

“Enlighten me,” you prompted as you began walking past the bushes and flowerbeds with him, admiring his bold, light purple flared pants and white top.

“Well, first we walk through the park. Then, I have a reservation booked for La Sedbe Hyudge. If that sounds okay to you, that is.”

La Sedbe Hyudge was one of the most exclusive clubs in New York. Reservations were crazy expensive, and that’s not including the price of the food and drinks.

“Oh, Harry, you really didn’t ha-”

“No, no, don’t worry about it. The reservation’s already made; there’s no turning back now,” he laughed.

You laughed along with him. “Well, we can just split the final bill.”

“No,”

“But-”

“Don’t worry about it!”

You sighed. “Okay,” you finally agreed. “Well, anyways, tonight sounds like it will be great fun. Thank you.”

Harry nodded, looking around. You had to admit it, the scenery of the park was very nice. The gardener(s) here must be paid awfully well.

“So, I listened to Fine Line.”

Harry perked up. “Oh?”

“It was - and I’m not just saying this because I li- we’re friends - but it was incredible. I’ve never heard anything like it.”

Harry was trying to hide his smile, but he was failing miserably. “Well, that’s good,” he concluded nonchalantly.

“No, really! I have Golden stuck in my head. It’s beautiful. And don’t even get me started on Lights Up.”

“You didn’t see the music video, did you?”

“..Yeah?”

“Oh, wow.”

“It was ARTSY!” You laughed, Harry clearly getting embarrassed. “No, in all honestly, it was great.”

“Well, I’m glad you think that,” he smiled. “I wish I could say the same to you, but you don’t sing, obviously.”

“Not my forte, honestly. I was in choir in elementary, but that’s pretty much it. Never really had any interest in the preforming arts. No offense.”

“None taken. I’ve always liked singing, but I didn’t think I’d pursue it as a career. I was very happy at my old job, thank you very much.”

“What was your old job?”

“...”

“I used to work in a bakery.”

“No way!” “That’s adorable,” you thought as the two of you rounded a corner of the path.

“Yes way! Not to brag, but I was very good at making cinnamon rolls.”

“Now, isn’t that something.”

“That’s not all - macaroons.”

“Oh my god, marry me.”

You continued goofing off for the rest of the walk. You talked about Netflix shows and whether Summer or Winter was the superior season in the taxi, and the best way to make Kraft dinner on the sidewalk. By the time you walked into the restaurant and sat down, you were discussing the importance of a good facemask.

“I don’t know. I just can’t believe you do them.”

“I can’t believe you don’t.”

“Why should I?”

“Do you want me to go over the health benefits again?”

You sighed. “No. I just do not have the patience.”

“For me to explain it again or facemasks in general?”

You smiled. “Both.”

Harry laughed rather loudly, gaining a few odd looks from some stuck-up diners. “You’re lucky you’re cute, y/n.”

Before you could respond, a waiter walked over to your table. “And what could I get for the couple this evening?” He asked.

You and Harry looked at eachother and tried to supress laughter.

“Well, I don’t know about my husband here,” you start, looking over at Harry with a grin. He’s staring back at you and you are positive that he’s gonna blow it at any second, but you decide to keep going, “But I’ll have a glass of red wine.”

“Whatever you want, dear, so I guess I’m driving,” Harry shrugged. “I will have water, please.”

The waiter nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

As soon as he was out of earshot, the two of you burst out laughing.

“That.. was.... amazing!” Said Harry between laughs.

“I know right!” You agreed. “We have to keep it going all night.”

“YES,” he nodded as a group of teenage girls walked past the table, also laughing uncontrollably.

Then, the waiter returned. “For the lady,” he said as he placed down a glass of wine. You immediately picked it up and took a sip.

“For the main course, I’ll have the steak, please,” said Harry in his very-best fancy voice.

“I too,” you said, giggling and taking another sip.

The waiter nodded and headed back to the kitchen. The two of you laughed again.

Just then, you felt your phone buzz in your purse. “It’s probably nothing,” you thought, choosing to ignore it. But then it went off again. And again. And again.

“You should probably get that,” said Harry, looking at your bag.

“Nah, it’s probably nothing.”

“Alright. I gotta run to he bathroom, and then I’m gonna order a drink for myself, okay?”

“Okay,” you said as you watched him get up. “Bring me back a glass too!”

You watched him walk over to the mens room. Your phone buzzed. He pushed open the door. Your phone buzzed. The door shut behind him. You reached down and pulled out your phone.

Ella: Oh my god

Ella: Y/n

Ella: Where are you right now

Ella: Are you with anybody?

Ella: ?????

Ella: Y/N

Ella: CHECK UR PHONE

You quickly typed up a response, although you were confused as to why she was so worried all of a sudden.

Y/n: I’m at the Sedbe Hyudge with Harry, why?

Ella: *Sent a set of photos*

Ella: Check twitter for more.

You clicked on the photos. The first was a screenshot of an update account, saying that you and Harry were in the park. Then, another tweet from the same account, saying you were at this restaurant. Then, photos of you in the park. And then, photos of you at the restaurant. Under that were screenshots of twitter users.

@Cocopopstyles: I just want Harry to take me on a date like he does with y/n, is that TOO MUCH TO ASK. They’re TOO CUTE.

@Y/nxxxxstyles: ANOTHER WIN FOR THE SHIPPERS THEY’RE AT THE SEDBE HYUDGE DHHHVDHBDCHUDB YES

@HSDaily: Ew lmfao she’s so ugly PLS

@Stylessssmaple: “I ain’t saying she’s a golddigger, but she ain’t messing with no broke....”

@LaylaHoran: I heard that they were talking to the waiter like they’re an actual couple. A few girls overheard it, idk their @’s tho.

@LarryStylinsonobvs replying to @LaylaHoran: Really?? Omg that’s pretty quick tbh. Weren’t they first seen together days ago?

@LaylaHoran replying to @LarryStylisonobvs: Yeah apparently. Idk what’s going on. Is she a PR stunt or not???

@LarryStylinsonobvs replying to @LaylaHoran: Not to be a bluegreener but she could be a beard... we’ve gotten so much content from them in the past 72 hours like.... are u gonna tell me there’s no contract in there at all?????

@Y/nsflowers: Y/n looks so good in the new pap photos pLEASE MARRY ME MA’AM.

@Y/L/Nsummertime: Y/n is over lmfao can she please cut the bullshit. Wbk she’s in it for the money. The job, the PR stunts, the boyfriend...

@TheDailyPoolsideNews: Model y/n and ex-boyband star spotted out in the town! Will this be the next Hollywood snoozefest?

There was more, but Harry was already back at the table, carrying two glasses and setting them down, smiling. All of a sudden, you had this really sick feeling. You couldn’t look him in the eyes. You took your drink as he sat down. Not wanting to say anything in case it ruined the night, you took a sip and put your phone back in your purse.

“Everything alright?”

You looked up. “Yeah.”

Harry stared at you. You stared back jokingly, trying to break the tension. Harry’s phone started ringing. “Oops,” he frowned, “thought I turned this off...”

“You can take it, it’s okay. I checked my phone before. Plus, I need to use the washroom.”

“Okay,” he smiled as you stood up, smiling back. As you were walking away, you heard him talking to whoever was on the other end of the line. “Hey, Nial- what? No, I am, why-”

You pushed into the womens room and locked yourself in a stall. “What the hell is going on?”

You sit there for a few minutes, trying to collect your thoughts and give Harry some time to finish his conversation. Someone had seen the two of you at the park and in the restaurant, so what? Some people liked you, and some people didn’t. Okay, that’s understandable. Some people hated you. That’s fine, you don’t care. But people still think you and Harry are a PR stunt. This is only your second date! And it’s not eve a date! It’s just a... you put your head in your hands, then sit up, not wanting to smudge your mascara. You reach for your phone, only to remember you left it in your purse, which was currently on the floor next to your chair next to Harry. God.

And, to make matters worse, he had gotten a phonecall and from what you had heard when you were walking away, he sounded worried. Perfect! That was probably his management. Or, better yet, one of his friends doing the same thing Ella had done to you. Suddenly, you jumped up and walked back out to the table. He was fiddling around with his napkin. When he saw you, his face lit up. You didn’t buy it.

“Hi, sorry, it was just one of my friends. He wanted to t-”

“Oh, it’s fine,” you said, politely cutting him off.

Harry was taken back by this, but not for long. He wasn’t fazed easily. “Oh, okay. That’s good. Sorry for taking so long. Oh, and I don’t want this anymore, so if you want it, you can fill yours up. Otherwise, I’m just gonna give it to the waiter when he comes back.”

You never drank too much. You knew three glasses would be awful for you. But you took his and filled yours up, because “I don’t want to waste anything. This place is so expensive.”

Soon after, the waiter dropped off your meals. Harry was speaking less, more unsure of himself than before, but you didn’t notice. You made polite small talk, but it wasn’t like your antics from before. Yet when you were leaving, you did not split the bill. Harry still paid.

When you walked outside, it was dark. You hadn’t expected it. You laughed. Harry laughed. “Let’s wait over here for a taxi, yeah?”

You nodded and followed him. You sat on a bench. Harry messaged somebody. You swung your feet a little. Harry took a call. You stayed seated, watching people walk by. Harry came back over and helped you walk to the taxi, arm around your back. You tried to tell him you didn’t need his help, but he didn’t listen.

Harry gave the taxi driver his address. You gave him yours, but he didn’t listen. You spoke up again, but Harry told you not to worry; you could spend the night with him. You nodded.

Harry helped you out of the taxi. You didn’t fight back. You tried to pay for the taxi, but he wouldn’t take your money. You held his hand as you walked through the doors of his apartment building, got in the elevator, got to his apartment. He sat you down on the couch and went off to his room. He came back shortly after.

“I don’t have any pyjamas for you.”

“Why would I need pyjamas?” You laughed a little, and then a lot.

Harry smiled. He went back to his room and came back with a shirt still wrapped in plastic and a bag.

“Here. The bathroom is over there. There’s makeup wipes on the counter.” He helped you up and you walked over.

“Why do you have makeup wipes? Do you wear makeup?”

“Yep!” Said Harry. “Just turn the lock to the left. It’s tricky sometimes, try it a few times if it doesn’t work, yeah?”

“That’s so cool, can you show me your makeup sometime?”

“Yep! Maybe after you get your pyjamas on.”

“Really?”

“Mmhm!”

You shut the door and turned the lock, though you doubted you’d need it. You took off your fancy clothes and put on a pair of brand new too-big black sweatpants and a too-big pink t-shirt. Why did you need pyjamas again? Harry hadn’t answered. He wasn’t sending you home in pyjamas, was he? Uh oh.

You walked out. Harry was in the kitchen. “Do you need anything?”

“A drink.”

“Water?”

“Wine, dummy.” You cracked up at this.

“You’ve already had more than enough. C’mon, let’s go to the living room.” He grinned.

“Whyyyyyy?”

Harry smiled patiently. “C’mon, y/n. We can watch a movie or something.”

“Okay. Wait - can I just have orange juice instead?”

“Of course.” He grabbed a can of juice and then walked into the living room. You followed. There were pillows and blankets on the couch, and Disney+ was set up.

“Ooou, fancy,” you laughed.

Harry crawled under the blankets. You did too. He laughed. So did you. Why were you even upset with him in the first place? You couldn’t remember. Harry grabbed the remote and turned on some show you’ve never heard of before. The Mandalorian, whatever that was. You leaned your head on Harry’s shoulder. It wasn’t even boring - why were you falling asleep?

Harry closed his eyes - he was tired, too, but for different reasons. You listened to his breathing get slower. You held him tightly. You held him back.

“Friends don’t hold friends that way,” you thought to yourself. “But who cares?”

You fell asleep. So did he.

You forgot about the stunt rumours. So did he.

He forgot about how his friend called him in a panic, not wanting this relationship to get ruined for him like the last one, and the one before that, and the one before that. About how he really, really liked you, but couldn’t act on it. He wanted to give you the world. Yes, he fell too quickly, too easily, but who could blame him?

And you forgot about Ella in the same panic. She didn’t want this to get ruined for you, of course, because this was your first shot, your first love (Although not that she’d know - you had to admit you had been a bit distant with her since you met Harry.) She didn’t want you to fall into the hands of the public eye. She wanted to make sure you were safe. She wasn’t sure if you should trust Harry, so of course she should be worried.

But you trusted him.

And he trusted you.

And everything is okay.

Until 3am.

A/N PT 2 - While you’re waiting for part 3 (which is definitely coming btw!) check out my other fics through this masterlist HERE!

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