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#manic depression
that-bipolar-mood · 2 days ago
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Van Gogh said that orange is the colour of insanity. I think.
Just leaving this here...
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insomniasmuse · 7 months ago
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beautifuldarkmind · 11 months ago
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I think I’m getting better and then everything gets bad again. 
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sadandsmilling · 4 months ago
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A part of suicidal ideation or self harm no one talks about is the numbness to the subject that comes with it. I sit and scroll through pages and pages of cries for help, suicide notes and plans and feel nothing. No worry, no concern, no crushing feeling in my chest. Nothing. Those familiar feelings are now replaced with a strange familiarity, a kind of comfort that it’s not just me.
Fuck. When did it get to this
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genesis-nicole-smith · 6 months ago
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It’s kinda sad that my standard for “I’m fine” is “I’m not gonna kill myself yet”
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verysvd · a month ago
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honeymoonsadcore · a month ago
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victim-or-survivor · 4 months ago
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manic episode symptoms/warning signs
THIS IS NOT GOING TO APPLY TO EVERYONE!!! this is my own personal experience. mental illness isn't a one size fits all, i'm not claiming to be an expert or know what everyone's mania feels like, this is just what i've experienced
increased irritability
increased energy
change in appetite, not feeling hungry for days and then becoming ravenous
frequent sensory overload
oversensitivity
changes in sleep pattern, sleeping only 3-4 hours or shifting to sleeping more during the day and being awake all night
noticeable increase in productivity, that might start out as good, but you notice yourself being hyper fixated and jumping from several different projects
increase in impulsivity
feeling like you've lost control over yourself and your actions
paranoia
intrusive thoughts
nightmares
talking a lot, rambling, going on long rants
a feeling like you're watching yourself on a screen, like someone else took over your body and you're watching from the outside as they live your life
being aware you're making bad choices or that you are being reckless but not caring or being able to stop
dissociation
impulse purchases and reckless spending
reckless driving
impulse to change appearance or alter your image that can feel like a NEED if it isn't done immediately (for me this manifests in my hair, like cutting it or changing the color at 3 am. it also used to be comorbid with my eating disorder, which led to extreme fasting to try and lose weight)
feeling like you can accomplish things you couldn't normally do, feeling powerful, inflated ego and sense of self. i sometimes would think i was invincible and that nothing could hurt me and tried to act on it to prove it
increase in libido
risky sexual behavior
heightened emotions, everything feels larger than life, the highs feel like they'll never end and the lows feel like the end of the world
for myself this was only in extreme cases, but visual or auditory hallucinations. i've only had visual hallucinations a couple times, but when things got really bad, i would hear things that weren't there, or hear people calling me when i was all alone
feeling like thoughts are racing and you can't stop them, feeling like everything is loud and you're being pulled in a million directions
friends and family noticing uncharacteristic behavior, cutting people off, becoming VERY irritable, or showing too much affection in a way that isn't normal for you
and, inevitably, when it ends: The Big Crash. the depressive episode after that knocks you out
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yeetsauce2002 · 6 months ago
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Mental illness can be so isolating. You don’t want to talk to your friends who aren’t mentally ill because they won’t understand. You don’t want to talk to your friends who are mentally ill because you don’t want to add weight on to their baggage. You feel like you’re the only person in the world who it will never get better for. It seems like the rest of your life will be a dark hole and the thought of dealing with your mi forever is terrifying. To everyone else that feels this way, you’re not alone. We are all fighting our private battles and remember that when it’s bad it was good once and it will be again. I love you all and we will get through our rough patches.
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khara-chan · 6 months ago
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idle-optimism · 5 months ago
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Mania is like a drug. The idea of it is so intoxicating. It's the thought of feeling so sharp and so alive, so fun to be around and so confident. But the reality is, you're actually just too intense to be around, too scary, too annoying, and you think you're being fun but all you're really doing is ruining everything good in your life. And we all know this, yet we still crave it time after time. It's so addictive.
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that-bipolar-mood · 6 months ago
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insomniasmuse · 8 months ago
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Why am I like this?
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beautifuldarkmind · 10 months ago
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People my age are doing so many things, achieving their goals.. and I cant even get out of bed or function like a normal human being
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ashhtnn · 2 months ago
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what’s that feeling called somewhere between manic and depressed where you’re still like completely depressed but so so impulsive and kinda ???crazy???? like you’re laughing at everything and everything is so big and important but meaningless at the same time??? like i’m not manic, i don’t feel like i could do anything, i’m still numb as fuck. but like,, i just feel,,, like a grenade,
what’s that called?
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screencapsfromthedeeep · 3 months ago
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dinosaurloverman · 2 months ago
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I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted me to be
Hey. So when I started this tumblr it was never gonna be a "humans are space orcs" writing place. It started out as me talking about warhammer space marines. Mainly my home brew. Then the GW fan outrage happened and I was kicked out.
Then I decided I wanted to talk about dinosaurs. I got nothing. No attraction neither. And that really sucked.
So for fun, practice, and therapy I made some space orc stories and what the hell I blew up. It was nice. However this isn't what I wanted to do.
Then I got depressed again (I'm always depressed but this time was way worse then some times) and talked about it. Most didn't care but those who did, you know who you are.
What I'm trying to say is I don't wanna be space orcs guy. I wanna be talk about dinosaurs and things that interest me guy. Maybe I'll do a space orc here and there but I don't wanna do that forever. I wanna talk about dinosaurs!
So I'm sorry I'm such a dissapointment to yall.
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honeymoonsadcore · 2 months ago
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bphood · 7 months ago
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Do I really want to do it or is it another manic episode
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deadlycoffee · 4 months ago
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I want people to adore me. I want to be loved so fucking bad. But no one is going to love me when all I feel is empty, and apathy.
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