#many fucking times in my life and I just can’t handle being used anymore

[wlntrsldler]

poisoned mercury | end up here

a/n: i'm going FERALLLLLLL over this chapter. enjoy poisoned mercury's debut album hehe.

iv. end up here by 5sos

series masterlist | previous | next

“your band name doesn’t even make any sense,” you argued, eyes narrowing at the boy in front of you. 

luke crashed your secret spot, again, and refused to let you smoke in silence until you gave him a detailed explanation of how your day went. he knew you didn’t smoke every day, only on days that were particularly hard. he noticed that your bad days always had something to do with your dad, but it didn’t feel like the right moment to bring that up. 

anyway, you got fed up with his badgering and that stupid smirk on his face because he knew you were about to crack, and decided that if he was going to act like a toddler, you would too. hence, why you were now bringing up his band name. 

luke took offense to that because he thought the band name was cool. he was the one to suggest it. he crossed his arms over his chest, trying not to let his hurt show on his face, “what do you mean? poisoned mercury is a sick name.” 

“mercury is already poisonous. your band name is like redundant or some shit.” 

“then why did so many people in history ingest it?” luke asked, recalling the one thing he remembered from his high school history class before he dropped out. he took a drag from his cigarette, turning his body a bit so the wind didn’t blow the smoke directly in your face. 

“they fucking died, castellan,” you replied, deadpan. 

“oh,” he blinked, staring off, “i didn’t know that.” 

you rolled your eyes, a habit that you’ve picked up whenever you were with him and sat back down on the bench. luke joined you, silent as he thought about what you just said. he really needed to stop zoning out during lessons, but since he was already out of high school, he guessed it didn’t matter anymore. 

as much as you hate to admit it, luke castellan was growing on you. sure, he got on your nerves like nobody else– the boy just doesn’t quit– but, he wasn’t half as bad as you originally thought. not that you’d ever tell him that though. 

when you got back to the cabin last week after helping with concert prep, the cabin was spotless. there were no empty red bull cans in sight, the table tops were free of crumbs, floor vacuumed and mopped, and there was even a candle burning on the counter. you approached your bedroom door to find a post-it on the handle. luke’s messy writing was smudged around the corners, but you could still make out what it said. 

“five star, 

i snitched on the boys and my mom will have a stern talk with them about their cleanliness. can’t promise that people will stop talking about me, but i can promise you won’t have to live in the dojo casa house mojo or whatever it was. 

ps i’m using the spot tomorrow, just thought i should let you know. maybe we can set up a calendar for reservations. 

luke :)” 

the cabin hasn’t been as messy since. whatever may castellan told the boys worked like a charm. there was still the occasional trash, but nothing crazy. it smelled better in the cabin too, still like a boy, but it smelled like expensive cologne more than anything. cedarwood and pine. 

and thankfully, the luke castellan hype train was starting to run out of steam, with many people finally realizing that he was also just a human being and the surprising revelation that luke castellan was not entertaining anyone during his time at camp helped with it as well. you still heard whispers about him here and there, but you were glad the topic of conversation was beginning to switch to something else. 

you and luke walked to the gym and back home every morning together. he and the boys sat with you and clarisse during meals. they tagged along for music lessons and spoke to the kids, which they really appreciated. they helped the older campers with writing music, luke particularly. you’d been around a few musicians in your life and many of them only kissed ass when your dad was around, but poisoned mercury was different. they were passionate about their music. that was clear.

after a conversation with clarisse, where she managed to convince you that not all musicians are like your ex, you began to let loose a little bit. you hung out with the boys more, partly as an excuse so clarisse could hang out with chris without causing too much suspicion, and found that you actually enjoyed their company. and luke castellan? well, he wasn’t half bad. that doesn’t mean he got off easy though. 

you took a hit of your vape, facing him, “are you done interrogating me?” 

“for now, yeah,” he smiled as you shook your head. “are you coming to the concert tonight?” 

“well, i did help organize it.” 

“a simple yes would’ve sufficed, five star,” luke teased, relighting his cigarette. it was burning unevenly and luke was never one to waste his cigarettes. “you gonna watch us play?” 

“don’t have a choice. dad wants me there the whole time.” 

“you can act a little excited,” luke ran a hand through his curls, “we are pretty good, you know.” 

“i know,” you hummed. the sun was beginning to set and there was a slight breeze in the air. goosebumps formed on your skin, the t-shirt and denim shorts you wore didn’t offer much comfort. you shivered, “i have listened to your music.” 

“are you cold?” 

your teeth chattered, but you shook your head, “i’m fine.” 

luke took off his hoodie, tossing it in your direction, “take it.” 

“no,” you tossed it back to him, “told you i’m good.”

always so stubborn, luke thought.  

“if you catch a cold, that’s not on me,” he placed the hoodie on the bench between the two of you. “which songs have you listened to?” 

“kilby girl, of course. it played on the radio so much when you guys first dropped it,” you said, remembering the days where you and your hometown friends would blast it in the car. it reminded you of high school, reckless decisions, life-long memories, and the thrill of knowing you were going to be playing the sport you’d worked so hard to excel in at a d1 level in the fall. you looked at him, sincerity in your eyes, “i really like family line. it might be my favorite.” 

luke’s eyebrows shot up. not many people talked about family line. it was probably their least streamed song. they never performed the song on tour because it was difficult for luke to sing it. it was a personal song to him. it was inspired by his relationship with his father, or lack thereof. 

when poisoned mercury first got signed to olympus records, luke sent a message to his dad on facebook. luke hadn’t tried to contact him since he was ten, not since his father returned his letter to him unopened, no response but a “return to sender” stamp plastered over the envelope. but after the small congratulatory party his mom set up for the band after they signed, luke felt like a little kid again, a kid who wanted to share the great news with his dad, so he found his dad on facebook, made an account, and sent him a message. 

he didn’t get a reply, which was expected, but it felt good for a second to pretend that he had a father to tell his good news to. luke thought he didn’t care about whether or not his dad was proud of him, but when his message went from “sent” to “read” a few days later, he was brought back to those moments in his life when he cried and wondered why he wasn’t enough to make his dad stay. he wrote family line in one sitting, on his bed in his bedroom in connecticut, looking at the little league medals on his wall that seemed to mock him. 

he originally didn’t want it on the album because he felt like it didn’t fit the vibe of the rest of the songs and that it was too real, too vulnerable for a debut album, but then he played it for his mom and she loved it. she cried when she first heard it and luke knew that even if people didn’t like the song, he was going to put it out for his mom. 

“huh,” he cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure, “wasn’t expecting that one. thought you’d be more of a crash my car type of girl.” 

“i like that too,” you shrugged, “but family line. that song. i don’t think i have the words to describe it.” 

“thanks, five star,” luke looked down at his feet, taking a puff from his dying cigarette. “that’s my mom’s favorite, too.” 

“did you write it?” 

luke nodded, looking to face you. there was a new expression on your face, one that you’d never used with him before. it was a mix of disbelief and awe. he tried not to get offended that you didn’t think he could write something like family line, but he couldn’t blame you. he didn’t really portray the type of person who would be able to be that raw and vulnerable on a song. “me and trav write the lyrics for our songs, mostly. chris and connor help too, but the bulk of the lyrics are me.” 

“you need to stop doing that.”

he cocked his head to the side, crushing the cigarette butt on the hardware of the bench, “doing what?” 

“surprising me,” you shook your head, “i don’t like it.” 

“i don’t know what to tell you,” he chuckled, leaning back on the bench. he looked out into the lake, watching the sun disappear behind the mountains, “i have layers. you just gotta give me a chance.” 

“how do you do it?” you sat criss cross on the bench, leaning against the arm rest. “how do you write like that?” 

you’d always been curious about music, even if you weren’t good at it. your dad was never one to answer your questions, especially because you were interested in lyrics more than anything, and that wasn’t his forte. 

luke mimicked your actions, “i dunno. personal experience, i guess?”

you frowned, thinking about the lyrics of family line. luke never talked about his dad, but spoke highly of his mom. was family line based on his own life? if it was, his dad was an asshole. 

you relented to the cold, grabbing the hoodie that he left in between the two of you. you ignored the triumphant smile on his face when you draped the sweater over your bare legs, shielding them from the wind chills. 

he continued, “sometimes things happen to me that get me worked up and i have to write a song about it. sometimes, it’s based on my imagination. it depends.”

you wanted to ask him about his dad, but you didn’t know if he considered you guys friends yet. it’s not like you made it easy for him anyway. you could deal with the banters and annoyance, but you didn’t want to push him to talk about something he wasn’t ready to. you could be a dick, but you weren’t cruel. 

you changed the subject, “okay, let’s play a game.” 

“21 questions?” luke bit his bottom lip, trying not to laugh. he waggled his eyebrows, dodging your arm that reached out to smack him. 

“you’re gross,” you gagged, knowing the implications of the game, “no, i’m gonna ask about the songs on your album and you tell me if it’s real life or from your imagination.” 

“alright, go for it five star,” he beamed, propping his elbows on his crossed knees. he loved talking about music with anyone. he could go on and on for hours. 

“18.” 

“real,” luke snorted, remembering the first time travis pitched the idea for the song to the band, “but not my experience. it was trav. he met this girl at one of our gigs in new york, right after we got signed, and he was obsessed. she was a freshman at nyu and she kept telling him he was too young for her, even though she was just less than a year older. trav was hooked.” 

you could picture it. it was definitely something travis would do. “okay, another one of my favorites. only angel?” 

“not real,” luke shook his head, a slight blush creeping up on his face. “if you tell anyone, five star, i will vehemently deny it, but i had a crush on jade west from victorious and i wrote it about her.” 

there was something about jade west that made luke like a love-sick puppy. ignoring the fact that she was hot, her attitude was something that luke was attracted to. she had a tough exterior and acted like she didn’t care about people, but she had her moments where she was soft and kind to the people she cared about the most. luke liked that. the idea that someone could be sensitive but only to the people they deemed worthy. 

he’d spent so much of his life trying to be worthy, in whatever way the stage of his life defined it, and he craved it– a pat on the back, an approval, a confirmation that he was worthy of it. 

you threw your head back laughing, surprised by his ridiculous confession. the sound of your laughter rang across the woods, making luke smile. your voice echoed throughout the trees and he his senses were surrounded by you. it hit luke like a truck. 

he sucked in a breath, taking out his phone. he jolted from his seat for more than one reason. “shit, five star. we gotta go.” 

you took out your phone too, checking the time. your eyes widened as you got up from your seat. you threw his hoodie over to him, “fuck, we’re late.” 

the two of you raced out of the woods, arriving to the concert venue with flushed faces and rapid breaths. you could feel clarisse’s knowing eyes on you as you got ready for the concert. you tried your best to ignore it. you were going to deal with that later. 

–

“and for the final event, i know you guys are looking forward to this one,” your dad laughed into the mic. the sun was long gone and there were disco lights illuminating the stage. a smoke machine was on either corner, making it difficult to see the bottom half of the stage. you and clarisse stood in the front row, listening to the deafening cheers of the campers. “ladies and gents, welcome poisoned mercury!” 

the screams got louder which you didn’t even know was possible. travis entered the stage first, sticking his tongue out as he expertly twirled his drumsticks around his fingers. connor came in next, smiling and waving at the crowd as he plugged his guitar into the amp. chris walked in with his bass strapped around his neck, eyes immediately finding clarisse and sending her a shy smile. you nudged her teasingly, enjoying the way she blushed under the lights. 

then luke castellan walked in. he ditched his hoodie and t-shirt and walked in with a white tank top on, messing with the curls on his head. he tugged on the silver necklace around his neck as his eyes scanned the crowd. he threw a wink to the group of the older girls in the back, turning to travis to let out a laugh at their reaction. the lights on the boys were blinding and a thin layer of sweat already began to form on their skin despite the bite to the air. 

luke took center stage, picking up his guitar. he leaned over directly in front of you, fingers pretending to mess with the wires connecting his guitar to the speakers, “hey, five star.” 

he straightened his back before you could reply. clarisse’s eyes darted between you and the boy, now nudging you like you did to her earlier. you rolled your eyes, smiling at the rest of the boys as luke began talking on the mic. 

“what’s up, camp half blood?” luke screamed into the mic. the crowd roared. “we’re poisoned mercury and we are so happy to be with you guys here this summer. before we close out this awesome concert, i wanna introduce our lovely band.” 

“on drums, we have the one and only, travis stoll!” luke turned around to applaud travis as he did a little drum solo, head banging as he hit the drums. he turned to connor, “on lead guitar, we have the amazing connor stoll!” 

connor strummed his guitar, leaning over on the left side to soak in the applause of the crowd. the girls beside you swooned as he unleashed one of his award-winning smiles. 

luke faced chris, “and on bass, we have my very best friend in the entire world, my 4lifer, chris rodriguez!” clarisse cheered loudly for chris as he played a tune on his bass, mouthing, “love you, brother,” to luke as he played. the crowd quited for a second as luke addressed them again, “and my name is luke castellan. we’re poisoned mercury!” 

you turned around to look at the crowd. the size of the crowd tripled when the boys got on stage. everyone had a smile on their face, excited to hear them play. 

“the song we’ll be singing for you guys today is from our debut album,” luke adjusted his mic on the stand. he got closer to it, lips touching the metal, “this is only angel.” 

you couldn’t help but let out a laugh at their song choice. this was not the song they were supposed to sing. they’d been rehearsing kilby girl for the past week. luke saw your reaction, laughing along with you. 

the instrumentals began and you nearly missed the beat drop because of the cheers from the crowd. as the song progressed, the boys were one with the music. you watched luke sing, working the crowd like a pro. his skin glistened under the spotlight, beads of sweat tricking down the side of his face. he approached chris when the chorus started, dragging his mic stand with him. he swung his guitar around so it rested on his back as he sang the lyrics. his curls were sticking to his forehead, eyebrows raised in glee as he performed. 

you couldn’t take your eyes off the lead singer, not even when the rest of the band had their own solos in the song. your eyes were glued on luke; how his adam’s apple was on full display as he threw his head back, getting lost in the music, how his arms flexed as he wrapped the mic cord around his fist, how his thin tank top stuck to his body and how it raised when he lifted his arm up to bring the mic closer to his lips. you saw the outline of his abdomen and his v-line. 

but what really got you was his face. he looked at peace on stage, a wide smile on his face, full lips pink and glossy as he licked them in between verses. he looked incredible up there, like that was where he belonged. he was born to be on stage like this. 

“fuck,” you mumbled, applauding at the end of their song. luke’s eyes found yours as he sang the last bit of the song, smiling at you. you hoped clarisse couldn’t hear you talk to yourself. you looked down at your feet, tugging nervously on the collar of your shirt, “i get it now.”

#frances writes #poisoned mercury #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan pjo #luke castellan fanfic #luke castellan #luke pjo #luke castellan x yn #luke castellan x y/n #luke castellan x you #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson

[blissfullyrhea]

GOOD LITTLE GIRLFRIEND

ACE X F READER 18+ MDNI

Not proofread and short. Enjoy.

“Nngh!”

Your bedroom was barely lit when it echoed your sounds back to you, the room being so quiet it simply felt as though anything you said bounced off the walls and reflected back into your ears. It was embarrassing.

Or, it would be if it wasn’t for your attention being so focused on the man who had his mouth latched onto your soaking wet cunt, prodding your hole with his tongue and a stupid dazed out look in his eyes.

“Ace- Please” your words were drawing out the more his tongue twirled around inside of you. You already had faint bruises from his fingers digging into your thighs. Proof of how long you’ve been here under his torment.

“Why?” He finally asked, his tongue out of you , trailing his lips as cleaned your slick off them. He never released you from his hold, rather he barely lifted his head to allow you a break. “You’ve only come twice, and one was by the vibrator in the car, it doesn’t count.”

Ace had rules for your sex life. If you were needy, he would use one of the many toys he has on you until he can properly handle you the way he wanted. Those didn’t count as real orgasms to him. They were a cheap way out, their only positive was that they prepared you well enough for him to not have to go so easy on you, and he liked that. But only that.

“Yes, but it’s too much I.. I can’t cum anymore baby, plea-Ahhh fuck!” Your arguments were usually short, as it was now when his fingers sporadically ran across your clit, forcing your hips to buck up and allowing Ace to get back to his meal. His tongue moved deeply inside of you as his fingers worked your clit and it was enough after all his earlier work to get your back arching with a third orgasm.

Letting you ride it out, Ace sat up, still rubbing your clit as you shook, a smirk kissing his lips as he watched you. “Just like that, see? How can I stop when you look so pretty cumming for me?”

His words were deaf on your ears, the only thing your mind could focus on was the feeling of your walls forcibly spreading around his large length. His cock was so fat and long that even after the countless times of being ruined by him you still made him work to put it fully in.

With a groan, Ace furrowed his eyebrows as he watched himself work into your tight sex. “Fuck this is my second favorite view.. watching you flutter around me like that, princess, makes me feel like I’m gonna cum right now.” His large hands moved up the back of your thighs to your knees, holding them together while your ankles rested on either one of his shoulders.

Your cunt was so full and the after effects of your orgasm though fading were still very much running their course and his hitting that spot, you knew it’d make you messier than you were. And he did too.

As soon as his cock was fully sheathed he started with a slow draw of his hips, sliding out of you, letting you adjust before he slammed back in again, earning your high pitched scream and his own guttural moan at the sensation. His hips working on autopilot as he kept that pace, the known smack smack smack of skin on skin and your juices squirting between the two of you.

Your eyes rolled back , hands gripping the sheets as you felt him reaching your deepest point, the pressure in your lower stomach weighing heavier as he kept hitting it, toes curling and spots blurring your vision.

The feeling reminded you of the first time you and ace had sex. Back in the college lecture room, when he’d locked the doors and took you for himself on the professors desk for hours, the professor was gone on vacation but you nor Ace were aware of that until after he carried you home.

The feeling of his cock hitting so perfectly it was the only thing on your mind, the only thing that mattered, having you pray to any gods and thanking them for giving him to you.

“Oooh fuck yes cumming again f’me? Oh fuck squirt baby keep squirting for me. Fuck yes.” His loud, whiny moans brought you back from your day dream, your legs wildly shaking against him as you came again, your pussy crying just as you were from the intense pleasure of the session. Your face so fucked out as you looked up at him that told Ace now was the time to ask.

He always did this to you, since that first time.

“You want me to cum inside baby? Can I? Wanna see if you are meant to forever be mine?” And of course you nodded; he knew you would. You’re already his, you have been, and he will always cum in you. What else is his stupid little girlfriend good for?

#ace one piece #ace smut #one piece x reader #one piece smut #op luffy #zoro smut

[silentglassbreak]

Fragmented

Noah Sebastian x OFC

Alright, back to our regularly scheduled programming. Thank you all for being patient with me. We need to develop this plot, so let's all buckle up.

Warnings: Nothing wild here. Testosterone being tossed around.

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Taglist: @flowery-mess @lma1986 @myownthoughts12 @poisongirl616 @missduffsblog @reidsblessing @malerieee @jilliemiw86 @thisbicc @xx-like-a-villian-xx @diabolicdiatonics

Part 9 - First Time

One Month Later

Normal is a relative term, isn’t it? By definition, it means conforming to a standard. Therefore, my life was getting into a sense of normalcy, as I was forcing it to.

I couldn’t handle the heartbreak anymore. It was too painful to allow myself to continue to sulk. Every time she left, anytime we said goodbye, my soul folded in on itself more and more. Is it going to stop hurting just because I want it to? No. Can I allow myself to move on? I think so.

One hundred and eighteen days since she ended things. My world fell apart, but I only have to wait so long before I start trying to put it back together. I’m encouraged to move forward. I’m told to let myself heal. And I think maybe it’s time.

Thirty-six days since Mileena and I recovered from the stomach flu, and our safe bubble was burst. We haven’t kissed, fucked, or had any above mildly flirtatious contact since.

We’re still close, and we still talk every day - sometimes for hours, but I’ve put up a silent barrier between us. Continuing to allow the physical affection was only making it harder for both of us. And I’ve learned, through months of dealing with this, that she has little to no control.

She’s still seeing Justin, which stings in ways I can’t even begin to explain, but I’ve swallowed it. Leena seems to have taken to him, which makes me happy. Although I never expected to feel that way, I do. Seeing her smile, and seeing her joy has brought a sense of calm to my soul, even if I’m not the person lighting that fire inside her.

Maybe I’m moving on.

Today, I was awake early, driving to the guys’ place, anxious and excited all at once.

Today was album completion day. After hours on hours of sitting with Jolly in the studio, rewriting lyrics, re-recording vocals, and reworking the instrumentals, it was finally ready.

Today, at 9AM, the album was due to Sumerian. We were going to send it at 8AM, the email already drafted and all of the files attached. It was a big moment, and we were ecstatic. The amount of work that had gone into this album made Death of Peace of Mind look like child’s play. We were all so ready to be moving to the next stage - preparing for release.

I pulled into the driveway, and noticed the amount of vehicles. I, clearly, wasn’t the only one there.

Just inside the front door, I kicked my boots off and made my way toward the living room, already hearing many conversations ongoing. Just inside the foyer, I could see Nick and Laura, enthralled in whatever conversation they were having. Jolly was sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the screen of his laptop, surely checking the email again to make sure all of the attachments were sound, and nothing had been forgotten.

In the back corner of the room, Folio stood by the fireplace, mid-conversation with Leena, who was holding Addison on her hip.

“Well, hello family!”

Everyone’s eyes flashed to me, smiles breaking out on everyone’s faces.

“There he is!” Nick walked over and clapped my shoulder. “Cant believe you’re the last one here!”

I shook my head. “Traffic was rough this morning.”

I gave him and Laura welcoming hugs, and made my way over to Leena and Addison.

“There’s my girls.” I gave Mileena a one-armed hug, and took Addie from her, squeezing her tight.

“Are you excited?” Leena was beaming at me, something like pride on her face.

“Excited and anxious. I’ll be glad once it’s out of our hands.”

Folio snorted next to me. “Yeah, so you can’t fuck with it anymore.”

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. “It’s not fucking with it. It’s perfecting.”

He reached over, slipping Addie from my arms. “Well, go check on Jolly. He hasn’t spoken in twenty minutes.”

I padded over to the couch and flopped down. “All good here?”

He nodded, reopening the email. “I think so. Everything’s working. Cover art and back art is there. Lyric docs are attached. I think we’re all set. Bryan is going to forward in the pictures for the social media announcements. And Matt’s working on the details for the release party already.”

I nodded. “We don’t know how long?”

Jolly shrugged. “Three months, maybe? Slaughter is releasing their album next month, but then Alec told me it’s pretty clear until November. We’re likely shooting for a fall release.”

“Oh sweet. We can start touring in spring, maybe?”

Jolly smiled and leaned back. “I fucking hope so man. We’ve been getting a lot of heat for not hitting Australia on the last tour. Or Asia.”

“Maybe we start there?”

I could feel eyes burning into the side of my head, Mileena standing close enough to hear our conversation, but I ignored them.

“Festival season is in the spring and summer, so maybe we start with that? And work our way out?”

I huffed, and let my eyes drift over to Leena, who had a sad expression on her face that she wasn’t hiding well. “We’ll let Matt and Lana work it out.”

“Two minutes, guys.” Nick called from across the coffee table.

Folio came and plopped next to me. Nick sat next to Jolly, Laura perched on one of his knees. Leena sat, Addie in her lap, on the arm of the couch.

Jolly’s finger hovered over the ‘Send’ button, and we all held our breath.

“As always, I would like to just say, you guys are the best. We have worked our asses off for this, and if we receive even half of the success as Death of Peace of Mind, we’re lucky. We’re lucky to do what we love, and do it well.” I spoke to the entire room. To my brothers.

“Let’s fucking do this!” Folio announced, and the clock struck 8:30, Jolly clicking the mouse.

A second of silence fell over us, until the confirmation that it was sent popped on the screen.

We all broke out in celebratory hollers and clapping.

“Fuck yeah! We fucking did it!” Nick exclaimed, patting Jolly’s shoulder.

“You guys are awesome, you know that?” Laura smiled at us all.

“We need to celebrate!” Folio stood up suddenly, all of our eyes snapping up to him. “Let’s call Matt, Bryan, Lana, and Davis, and let’s go fucking celebrate!”

“Uh, dude…it’s not even 9AM…” I was smirking at him.

“It doesn’t have to be a party.” He stopped, thinking for a moment. “Let’s go ride fucking roller coasters!”

Nick, Jolly, and myself all stood up, affirming our excitement at once.

“That’s fucking awesome! Let’s do it!” Nick was still holding onto Laura. “You’ll come?”

She smiled wide. “Blocked my whole day for you, babe. I’m down.”

Nick glanced at Leena. “You too?”

She seemed to hesitate, her eyes looking over to me. “I, uh, might need to pass.” She chewed her lip. “Addie and I had plans today.”

“So…cancel them?” Jolly interjected.

“We were supposed to meet with Justin.”

I scoffed. “So bring him?” Her eyes widened in surprise at me. Valid, given I was mildly surprised at myself as well. “Unless, of course, he’s too scared…”

-

The drive to Knott's Berry Farm was quicker than I expected. Folio and I rode in my truck with Addison, Nick and Laura were in her car, Bryan and Matt were picking up Davis and Lana, and Mileena would be meeting us in about an hour after she picked up Justin. As we turned right off of La Palma onto Beach Boulevard, the traffic came to a dead stop. The turn-in to Knott's toward the parking lot was packed.

"Is something going on today?"

I shrugged. "No idea. We got here early, so I didn't think it would be too packed for a Thursday." I glanced at the dash. "It's only noon."

He rolled his window down, leaning his body out of the window, and waving at a security guard who was directing traffic.

"Hey," The guard walked over to my car. "is there a reason it's so busy?"

The guard stood with his hands on his belt, and glanced down to the line of cars.

"The concert today. It doesn't start until 6, but folks want to get in early."

Folio raised an eyebrow, dropping back into the vehicle. "Concert?" He pulled his phone out and opened his browser. After a moment of searching, he smiled. "Oh dope, dude! There's three bands playing today!"

I was pulling toward the parking lot now, waiting for my turn to pay at the stall. "Which ones?"

"Skillet, Daughtry, and Lifehouse."

I nodded in surprise. "That's fucking cool, man. We picked a good day to come."

Once we had all parked, I was pushing the stroller with Addison squealing excitedly. We all talked about which rides we were hitting first.

"Dude, we can't just start with the biggest ones. We've got to warm up." Nick was trying to reason with Folio, who looked as though he was crawling right out of his skin.

"Bro, I am riding the Xcelerator first, and you can't fucking stop me."

I chuckled. "I'm so in on that, man."

Laura reached for the stroller, taking it from me easily. "That's fine. You and Folio go get your adrenaline rush. Addie and I will be waiting for Leena in Camp Snoopy."

I bent down to kiss Addie's nose as she munched on her cotton candy, making an absolute mess. "You be good for Auntie, baby girl."

She blew a bubble in response.

Folio and I practically sprinted to the line for the roller coaster, only being a few dozen people back. He immediately hopped up onto the railing, smiling wide.

"So excited. I haven't been here since I was a kid."

I nodded. "Leena and I came like...three months after we met? She likes to act like she loves roller coasters, but in reality, she only rides the mellow ones."

He giggled. "She always talks such a big game, dude."

"Fucking honestly. She's as human as the rest of us, contrary to popular belief."

He nodded, jumping down to move with the line. "You going to be good with her bringing Justin?"

I perused this a moment. "I think so. I've had some time to adjust."

He looked at me suspiciously. "Have you been adjusting? You and Leena seem to be pretty...I don't know...weird?"

Leaning against the rail, I crossed my arms and looked at him. "Weird like how?"

"Well, let's see," Folio turned to face his body toward me. "you break up, when clearly neither of you wanted to do that. You both get majorly depressed for a while. Then you have an outburst at the 4th party, where you both disappear for half an hour." He raised his eyebrow suspiciously. "Then you flirt all the time, and both get sick at the same time, hiding out for three days together, where neither of you will talk about what happened." I chewed on my bottom lip. "Now you guys just stare longingly at each other from across rooms, and act like everything's okay." We moved forward with the line.

"Oh, and not to mention that she has a boyfriend."

Thanks for that, Folio.

"Doesn't seem very adjusted."

I scoffed. "Well, I didn't realize I came today to get attacked, but alright."

He chuckled at me, smacking my shoulder. "I'm just asking. I'm not sure any of us really get why you two aren't just...together...."

I shrugged, then. "That was her decision."

He cocked his head. "But why?"

I sighed hard, arms still crossed. "She can't handle it, dude. The," I waved my hand around us. "Bad Omens, rock and roll, touring thing."

Folio looked interested. "No?"

Shaking my head, I noticed we were getting closer to the front. "Nope. And that's my life."

"Can't her and Addison come on tour?"

"Man, I wish. I've even tried to convince her too, but having a toddler on a tour bus wouldn't work, and even I know that."

He looked disappointed. "Fuck, man."

"Yeah, I know." Huffing out a weak laugh, I rubbed the back of my neck. "I even offered to quit. Just write and produce so I wouldn't have to tour."

"You couldn't do that, dude. You love this shit."

I nodded, and looked directly at him. "I know, but I love them more."

Folio and I were walking over to Camp Snoopy, where everyone had convened after riding their respective rides. I caught a glimpse of Mileena sat at a picnic table, surrounded by everyone, feeding Addison in the stroller. Before I even reached the group, I noticed it.

Everyone was speaking, laughing together. Justin was stood talking to Davis, talking about something with his hands, and Davis was definitely into the story. The entire group was engaged in some form of conversation, looking excited and lighthearted. Everyone, except Mileena.

She was handing Addison her snacks, back turned to the group, and a look of frustration on her face.

We approached them, everyone turning their attention to us.

"How was it?" Nick chirped up from behind Laura.

"Fucking rush. So much fun." Folio responded, coming to sit next to Leena, and grabbing the snacks from her. Leena smiled at him as he started talking to Addie, handing her the puffs from the bag. If anyone bonded with the baby the most, to everyone's surprise, it was Folio.

I stepped over to stand in front of Leena, staring down at her. I lowered my eyes so I was looking directly at her. I gave her the look; the one that she knew asked if she was alright. She just pursed her lips, and nodded curtly.

I glanced back over to where Justin was still talking to Davis, Jolly now having joined the conversation.

I smiled down at Leena. "Want to come with me to grab a soda?"

Her eyes drifted over to Justin, who was paying her no mind, and stood up.

"You okay with her for a minute?" Folio just nodded to her in response.

She followed behind me as I made my way toward the Calico Ghost Town, and the snack shops they had nearby. We joined the long line, and I turned to look at her.

"What's going on?"

She sighed. "Nothing, just wanted to be here a lot sooner."

"Everything okay with you two?"

She looked at me, her eyes hesitant, but I could see that she wanted to tell me.

I held my hands up. "Safe space, here."

Leaning her head back, she groaned. "He's irritating me."

"How so?"

"He's pissed that I wanted to come here. We had plans to get lunch, and take Addie to the park. I explained that today was a big deal, but he told me he didn't see why I had to come."

I raised an eyebrow. "Ah, okay. Makes sense."

"No, it doesn't. He knows that I'm close with all of the guys, not just you. But he still gets so fucking weird about it." Her voice was full of annoyance, which amused me.

"I mean..." I calculated my words. "Can you blame the guy?"

Her head snapped toward me. "What?"

Laughing, I took a step away from her. "Leena, I am your ex. We spend an awful lot of time together."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "We have a kid together, Noah."

I nodded. "I get that. I'm just saying, he probably has pretty good reason to be skeptical."

She huffed, and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I know. I just," Taking a slow breath, she calmed herself. "if him and I are going to make it work, he's going to have to understand. You guys are my family."

I let my arms reach for her, pulling her into a comfortable hug. "I know. And if he really likes you, he'll figure it out."

The day passed comfortably, the warm sun baking us while we waited in lines, played games, and ate funnel cakes. Mileena passed on the bigger coasters, as I had expected. Laura and I rode the Jaguar six times in a row, nearly toppling over from lightheadedness after the last ride.

Justin and I didn't speak much, only in passing comments and niceties. It was easier that way.

By 5PM, we started to see the signs go up for the concert, so we decided to head over to the stage area, tucked behind the Ghost Rider, in an attempt to get decent seats. We found a table big enough for everyone - with the exception of Matt and Lana, who insisted they be at the front - and got comfortable.

Addison had been sleeping for about an hour, and I had pulled her from the stroller, cradling her to my chest against my sweatshirt, so I could try and shield her ears some from the music. I stood at the end of the table, swaying her back and forth, Mileena sitting next to where I stood, chatting idly with Laura about the day.

I felt a bump to my elbow, and looked to my right, seeing Justin standing next to me, large beer in his hand.

I nodded toward him. "What's up, man?"

My hand was rubbing circles on Addison's back, my knees bouncing gently.

"Could I borrow you for a minute?"

Looking at him curiously, I tried to gauge his intentions. I had kept a good enough distance from Leena for the day, in an attempt to not stir any drama.

"Uh, one sec." I turned, motioning with my chin for Folio to come over. "Can you take her for a minute?"

He just peeled her off of me, repositioning her on his chest. This caught Mileena's attention, who had a concerned look on her face as I began following Justin to where he stood a few feet away. I flashed her a small smile for reassurance.

The opening riffs to Skillet's first song caught my attention for a split second before I turned my attention back to Justin.

"What's going on?"

He took a long pull from his beer, and I noted that it wasn't the first he had that night. "I just wanted to chat with you. Hadn't had much chance to talk today." He snorted then. "Or...ever, really."

I laughed, putting my hands in my sweater pocket. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Congrats on finishing the album, man."

I nodded. "Thank you, I appreciate that."

We both looked over to the stage, taking a second to listen to the song. Comatose. A good one.

"So, can I ask you something? Man to man?"

I turned back to look at him, shrugging. "Go for it."

"Are you fucking Mileena?"

This caught me wildly off guard, making me lean back on my heels, eyes blown wide.

"Excuse me?"

"Cause you two seem a little more comfortable than typical exes."

My mouth was hanging open, my brain scrambled. "Dude..."

"If you are, I guess it's whatever. We never made anything exclusive." His words didn't match his tone at all, which told me if I didn't give the right answer, he would probably put a fist straight into my mouth.

As tempting as that was...

"No, man, we're not sleeping together." I waved a hand in between us, shaking my head. "We're not like that."

"Anymore." He added on.

"Well," I glanced back at Leena, who was watching the concert from her seat. "clearly. We do have a kid together."

He smiled at me then, his eyes darkening. The look made my stomach turn.

"She's great in bed, isn't she?"

My blood turned to ice, and my spine involuntarily straightened. I may be moving on, but I'm still a human being. I can only tolerate so much, and he was testing my fucking limit.

Before I could respond, he decided to continue. "I can't imagine how you ever let go of that, brother. She's fucking wild."

I ground my teeth together, jaw clicking in the process. My hands were balled into fists at my side.

"Let's not." Was all I could get out.

He scoffed. "Oh come on, it's not like we haven't both been there."

The eyes staring back at me were malicious. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. A hot, angry fire lit in my chest, screaming at me to rip this jackass' tongue straight out of his mouth, but I didn't. Instead, I returned his smile with my own, venomous and rage-induced.

"I mean, I guess you have a point." He raised his eyebrows, clearly not expecting my response. "There is a small difference, though."

He took another chug from his cup, wiping his mouth. "What's that?"

I licked my lips, glancing around to ensure no one was around.

"You get to fuck her, right?" He just nodded in response. "She begged me to fuck her."

I watched his smile fall, his eyes squinting and chest puffing out. "Oh yeah?"

I let my shoulders roll back easily. "Yeah. So," I leaned in, making sure he could hear me clearly. "that girl over there, regardless of if she's riding your cock, or any other douchebag's, belongs to me."

I could see his jaw tighten. I turned my body to walk away, leaving him with one last comment.

"And I'll just warn you now," I looked him up and down. "you're just temporary. May want to wrap your head around that."

With that, I walked away. It wasn't my proudest moment, I'll admit, but I didn't care. I held my head high as I walked back to the table, and took my daughter from Folio, bobbing to the music while she slept soundly in my arms.

Mileena and Justin had disappeared shortly after our talk, which didn't surprise me. I didn't see them through the rest of Skillet's set, and Lifehouse was due to come out after the intermission. I had handed Addie to Laura, taking a few minutes to run to the restrooms and grab a pretzel. I waited in line at the snack stand, scrolling through the photos I had taken on my phone that day, when I felt a hard slap come across my left shoulder.

I looked over, seeing a tearful Leena, face red with anger. "What the fuck did you say to him?!"

My eyes panned around, seeing all of the eyes staring at us.

"C'mon." I grabbed her arm, pulling her away from the line, but as soon as we were alone, she squirmed out of my grip.

"Seriously, Noah! What did you say?! He fucking left!"

I rolled my eyes at that. "I didn't say anything he didn't need to hear."

She deadpanned at me. "Which was what?"

Sighing, I adjusted my hat, turning it backwards on my head. "The guy's a dick, Leena. He wanted to talk about how you are in bed with me."

Her eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"I just made it clear that wasn't a good idea."

She narrowed her eyes. "He told me you said we were still sleeping together."

I shook my head. "Nope. I actually told him that we weren't."

"Noah, what did you say?"

After several attempts of trying to give her the cliffnotes version, she finally snapped and demanded to know what I said, verbatim.

Once I told her, I thought the big vein in her neck was going to explode all over both of us.

"What the fuck, Noah?!"

I kept my voice even. "I love how you're only mad at me, when he wanted to antagonize me, while also being halfway drunk." I threw my hands up. "On a day that's about my band, to begin with." I smirked, annoyed, and put my hands in my pockets. "Guy's got some fucking balls, I'll give him that."

Leena shook her head. "I am mad at him. But I'm more mad at you."

My face held an amused, bewildered look. "Make it make sense?"

She rolled her eyes. "Noah, you were the one who reasoned that he had a right to be uncomfortable."

"Oh, well let me be clear - I hereby retract that statement. Guy's a douche." I nodded at her to emphasize each word.

She groaned, and rubbed a hand over her face.

"The fuck am I going to do?"

I snorted. "That's on you, dude." She glared at me. "But my two cents? Break it off. He's an ass." And with that, I walked away from her, leaving her to stare after me with an exasperated look on her face.

Lifehouse finished, but my mood was dead. I had no interest in staying for Daughtry. I was so beyond annoyed by this entire situation, that I elected to leave early.

I offered to take Addison, but Mileena assured that she would take her until my regular day. Rather than argue, I just said my goodbyes to everyone, and headed for the entrance of the park.

My irritation grew the further out I got, and was at a full blown rage by the time I reached my truck, my fist landing on the door.

How could she? This muscled-up dirtbag comes in, pisses her off, and then has the audacity to try and talk shop with me, about her, and she's mad at me? Where is the fucking math on that? What did I fucking miss?

I had been so God damn tolerant. So patient. I had taken the mixed fucking signals, the back and forth emotions, the wanting me one second, and treating me like the outlier the next. I had taken it all on the chin. I'd sat there and watched her be in a new relationship, ignoring how painful that is. Moving on before my very eyes.

And all for...what? For going on tour? For leaving her alone? For admitting that I'm a human fucking being and pictured another woman naked? That for a split fucking second, I considered sleeping with her? For which I then beat myself up and felt guilty as fuck afterwards?!

I was done. Done being patient. Done being the bigger person. I got the fucked end of the stick this entire time, and now she's mad at me?

I sped down the highway, no regard for the limit, zooming toward my house so I could be alone. She ruined this day, and I was fucking over it.

It only took me twenty-five minutes before I was pulled up to my gate, noticing a sedan parked on the street outside of it with it's headlights on. This caught my attention, as it was a vehicle I didn't recognize.

I swiped in, and saw the sedan following me through the gate. This had me on guard, my eyes watching my rearview mirror as the car stopped behind my truck. I was too keyed up, willing to fuck up anyone who tried me at this moment.

Jumping out of my struck, I slammed the door behind me and walked toward the vehicle. The driver's door opened, and a small man, slightly hunched over, stepped out. He wore a lanyard around his neck with some form of ID, and held a manila envelope in his hands.

"This is private property." Was all I said before he walked up to me, a kind smile on his face.

"Noah Davis?"

I scrunched my nose. "Who's asking?"

He looked down at his papers and back up to me. "My name is Leonard James. Are you Noah Davis?"

I crossed my arms. "Sebastian."

He adjusted his glasses. "Oh, I apologize sir. I see that here. Noah Sebastian Davis?"

I rolled my eyes. "My government name, sure. Who are you?"

He handed me the envelope, still smiling at me.

"You've been served."

#fanfic #noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fic

[beaker1636]

Coming Home - Ricky Angst

AN: Here is the fic I teased you all with this morning! I have never written something like this, where there are multiple snippets of a whole story that weave together. The fic inspiration is one of my all time favorite songs, Coming Home by Cinderella. The Italics are the lyrics in the song as it progresses, I tried to base the scenes right after each set so that it relates to the song... which is also something I have never tried to do before. Hopefully my little experiment came out well and you all enjoy it! I may or may not have made myself cry at one point writing it. A link to the song will be below in case you want to listen to it!

Thank you @tearfallpixie for being my beta reader!

Taglist: @lacktoesandtoddlerants @dragon-chica @darkhallcorner

And now on to the story!

I took a walk down a it’s the road I’m meant to stay

I see the fire in your eyes but a man’s gotta make his way

“You have only been home for a couple fucking weeks, what do you mean you leave next week for tour again,” you say, glaring at your boyfriend who just dropped a huge bombshell on you.

“We’ve been together two years, you know what my life is like,” Rick glares at you, clearly pissed that you are so angry at him about going on another tour.

You are used to him being gone quite a bit, but this year in particular they are touring pretty much nonstop and it is hard to handle.  Usually you get a little time with him between tours before they’re rushing off to the next one but this year he is constantly on the road.  If it isn’t tours they have festivals to fly all over for.  You miss your boyfriend, feeling like you live different lives without each other anymore.  

Are you not important enough for him to fight to get time off with you?

When will you matter as much as his music?

Your head is full of so many doubts lately, and just when you were getting used to him being back home, to getting to spend time with him, he had to drop this bombshell on your shoulders.  

“You can still stand up and say you need a fucking break, that you are needed at home too,” you find yourself raising your  voice, frustration growing the longer you two are arguing about this.  Why can’t he understand how you are feeling?

“It’s my fucking job! All I ever wanted to do is make music and tour, and we are finally popular enough that I can do it. All I am great at is music.  This is how I provide for us, you sure seem to enjoy the benefits that come from the money that I make,” now you are pissed.  You are biting your tongue and trying so hard not to smack the cocky fuckers face.

“You think that all I fucking care about is the money? When have I ever asked you for any, I work my ass off every day of the week at my job.  You know what, fuck you. I am fucking done, I am not going to stay here with a man that things so lowly of me.  Jame was right, you are just a fucking dick, I never should have entered this relationship with someone who thinks this way about me,” You storm off, stomping your way upstairs to the bedroom, quickly closing and locking the door before he can follow you inside.  

You hear him hit the door with a groan. “Wait, y/n, I didn’t mean that.  I was just pissed and…” 

He gives up, taking a seat against the wall in the hallway outside the door praying that you will open the door, listen to what he has to say.  He realizes that isn’t going to happen when he hears your sobs through the wood door, his heart breaking on the spot.  Realizing that he had fucked up.

When you eventually step out of the room about a half hour later with a bag he glances up at you.  He doesn’t miss the tears in your eyes, that there are trails on your cheeks where they have fallen.  His own stray tears start to fall as he looks up at you.

“I- I need space to think through some shit,” you say softly, avoiding his eyes as you walk down the stairs.  

Rick lets you leave without a fight, knowing that if he dares follow you right now that he will just make things worse.  All he can do is hope the space does you good and you don’t wind up making a decision that will kill both of you inside.

So are you tough enough for my love?

Just close your eyes to the heaven above

I’m Coming Home

I’m Coming Home

Rick gives you space, just like you have asked for, despite the fact that you not being home is killing him inside.  He keeps looking at the ring he bought you, tears staining his cheeks when he realizes that tonight was the night he was going to ask and now he can't.  He thought he finally found the person that he was meant to spend his life with…. And he let you walk away like you meant nothing to him.

He honestly can’t blame you if you don’t come back to him.  How he treated you during your fight, how he has ignored how you are feeling, how selfish he has been, well, he deserves to lose you.

When you come home two days later you can’t believe how he looks, you feel like you mean nothing to him so why does he look so heartbroken that you are gone? When you step in the house he stands in the doorway looking at you.

He takes one look at you, noticing the dark circles under your eyes, how bloodshot they are from your tears, seeing how miserable you are makes the last part of his heart shatter in his chest.  He has never meant to hurt you, he has taken the fact that you are always home waiting for him for granted.

Both of you stand there and watch each other, trying to gain the strength and confidence to speak up.  Wanting nothing more than to pull each other close in a hug and apologize for the fight but not knowing if that would be the best choice without speaking things out first. 

“Baby, I’m sorry, so sorry.  I never meant for you to ever feel unwanted, unneeded, unloved by me. I- I think I finally get it. Having to stay here waiting at home for you the last two days has been hell, some of the hardest days I have had to face,” he says, stepping closer to where you stand in the entryway.

“And I wait here for you for weeks at a time, lately for months… I come home nightly to an empty house.  I have always dealt with it because I love you but it fucking sucks Rick.  And then when you get home you are busy editing videos, working on your new novel, or whatever your latest project is so I feel like the rare times you are home lately I still don’t have you.  But the hardest part is that no matter what I do I can’t make you stay.  I get it is your job, but I can’t promise that if your touring schedule stays as busy as it has this year that I can handle it for much longer.” You don’t realize you have started crying again until he moves in front of you, brushing your tears from your cheeks with his calloused fingers.

“I talked to management and Chris, I requested that we will get more time off after this tour is over at the end of October.  We are going to take the rest of the year off baby, I’ll be home for a couple months this time,” he says, gently pulling you into a hug hoping that you won’t pull away.

“Thank you, that is all that I ask is that you try.  Can I come home please Ricky?” you mumble into his neck, where your face is currently buried.

“You never have to ask me to come home y/n.  It isn’t home without you here,” he says softly.  

He lightly places a hand on your chin, making you look up at him.  When you do he places the softest kiss he has ever given you on your lips, both of you pouring all the love you have into the kiss as both of your tears mix on your cheeks.

I took a ride in the world I’ll be spinning for the rest of my life

I feel your heartbeat baby ooh sometimes it cuts like a knife

“I don’t want to go to sleep and lose a single second with you before you have to leave in the morning,” you say softly, playing with Ricky’s soft hair where it lays on your bare chest.

The two of you curled up, still not dressed, basking in the glow of your last opportunity to be intimate with each other before he leaves. Neither one of you wants to move in fear of the moment ending, dread over not getting to be together for almost two months.

“I don’t want to either, I love touring but this time something about leaving feels different,” he says, his fingers gently sliding over your soft skin.  Taking in every touch, kiss, and view that he can before he leaves.

“Do you ever wonder if our love for eachother is going to last? I worry all the time when you are gone that we are going to grow apart, or that you will find someone new, better than me,” you admit for the first time in your relationship with him.

“Sometimes I worry that you will want someone that can be home every night with you, because I can’t give you the time and attention you deserve,” he also admits, glancing at you.

The two of you haven’t usually been ones to be very vulnerable with each other, yeah you talk things out but never have you admitted your insecurities in your relationship. You both almost feel closer now getting those statements out into the open.

“That’s the problem Ricky, I don’t want just anyone home with me every night, I want it to be you.  I love you so much and can’t picture that with anyone else,” you feel the tears in your eyes starting to build up, threatening to fall.

“And I love you too baby, we have to trust in each other and believe in our love for one another to get through these times, not everything is going to be perfect.”

The two of you sit there silently for a few minutes, pondering over Rick’s words as you get closer to having to accept he is leaving again.  Both of you not ready to accept the fact that he has to.

He finally breaks the silence,” I hate to say it but I am getting picked up really early so we should probably go to sleep baby.”

You hesitantly agree, giving him one last passionate kiss before shifting so that you can turn the lamp off, curling up to Rick so that you two are as close as you can comfortably be.

“You better wake me up before you leave so I can say goodbye,” you whisper into his ear, trying to hold back your tears again.

“Of course baby.”

That night he lays with you, not getting much sleep because he is busy listening to your breathing, your heart beating, and admiring how peaceful you look when you are asleep.  Like nothing is bothering you.  He wants to take all these moments in before he isn’t able to have them for a while.  These moments make him not want to leave for tour, make him sometimes wonder if it is all worth it when he has to leave his family and life behind.

So are you tough enough for my love?

Close your eyes to the heaven above

I’m coming home

I’m coming home

You accept the facetime request from Rick the second your phone rings, not wanting to waste a precious second of your time together, it being so hard to find time that you can do this while he is on tour.

You are greeted with his smile, instantly relaxing you at your work desk… that’s right, the only time today that the two of you could make it work was if he video called you during your lunch break at work.  It absolutely sucks, but you will take what you can get and if that means you skip eating lunch for the day then so be it.  Just don’t tell Rick that, he will be upset with you if he knows you aren’t eating.

“Only 2 more weeks left baby, not much longer,” he says right away, his smile growing when he sees you on the screen.

“2 more weeks,” you sigh, leaning back in your chair.

“I know that seems like a long time but it really isn’t baby, we are getting so close.  I can’t wait to see you, this tour has been a lot harder on me.  I don’t know if it is because we didn’t really get much rest between the last one and now but it is a lot.  I just can’t wait to be home,” he exhales.  

Since he left the two of you have been trying to do better with your communication skills, trying to make sure to let the other know how you feel to avoid big fights like the one you had before he left.   But also because you don’t want to hold your emotions in, you are allowed to be sad, to miss him, and so is he.  You may not be around eachother but you still want to feel close to each other and that is a good way to do it.

“I took a week of vacation time for when you get home, that way I can spend the entire time with you.  I know you like to rest but we can be lazy together,” you tell him, hoping he will be happy and not think you are too clingy.

“I love that idea, we can shut our phones off and just hide in the house for the week.  I look forward to it,” he says, his smile growing when you tell him that.  Unable to hide that he is really happy you chose to do that to spend time with him.

The two of you continue to talk until you only have about 5 minutes left of your lunch break, you go silent, not wanting to say goodbye.

“Hey, it’ll be okay baby.  We will see eachother soon, don’t cry.  I will be home to you before you know it.   I love you, have a good rest of your day,” he says gently, trying to pretend that he doesn’t notice your tears.

“I love you too Ricky, be safe for me.”

You can’t help the tears that fall after you hang up, that hour wasn’t enough time to get to see him and who knows when you will get to see him next.  These moments are few and far between during tour, and while you text daily that isn’t the same as seeing him.  Your boss notices and gives you a few extra minutes of your break so that you can compose yourself before you get back to work.

A couple hours later you have flowers delivered to you at your desk, the card reading “Don’t cry for me, I will be home before you know it.”

I’m coming home where your love tonight can shine on me

I’m coming home where your loving arms can set me free

“We are on our way home now baby, a few more hours and I will get to see you! I can’t wait to get home!” Rick texts you, wanting you to know that they are almost back and he will see you soon,

“I am so excited, am I still picking you up at Chris’?” You respond back, still wondering why he is having you pick him up there but not asking questions.  There is surely a reason behind it, and you know that even if you ask your stubborn boyfriend won’t tell you.

“Please? I will see you at 6, love you baby!”

Unknown to you Rick is currently setting up a surprise.  He has decided to finally, hopefully, give you the ring he has been holding for about 6 months.  Chris came up with the idea of them setting up a dinner for all your close friends and family for the night they all get home, that way you can all be together when he asks you.

Which is why he is currently lying to you, they are already back in town, but they are all at Chris’ getting all the tables ready before the caterers arrive.  Decorating the place before everyone shows up so that it can be something special for you.  Wanting nothing more than to give you the proposal that you deserve.

He knows you hate surprises so he hopes that you won’t hate the proposal that he has planned.  You may hate surprises but he also knows that you miss your family and you are extremely close to them, you only moved away from them to be with him. So having them fly out so that they can be here for you will mean a lot.  His family also flew out to be here for the two of you.  Everyone you love is here to celebrate with you, when you hopefully say yes.

He looks over at the work that the boys are helping him do, pleasantly shocked that they are somehow staying on task and doing exactly what he wanted them to do.  Normally he has to fight the idiots to get things right.  

He greets your family and his own as they show up, bringing them to the big backyard where the tables are all set up.   The lighting sets the mood, everyone gathering in one place before you show up.  

The second that they see your car come down the street he gets everyone gathered in one spot, hoping you notice the sign saying to go back out and hoping for the best, praying that things work out.  Now hearing your car door he is panicking, will you hate that there are so many people around? Will you love that all of your family who you haven’t seen in almost a year are here?  Will you say no? He doesn’t have time to think before he is on his knee, waiting for you to walk around the side of the house.

Shit, there you are.  Now he has nowhere to hide, he can’t change his mind. This is it.

“Surprise!” 

I took a walk down the a road it's the road I’m meant to stay

I see the fire in your eyes but a man’s gotta make his way

Are you tough enough for my love?

Close your eyes to the heaven above

I’m coming home

I’m coming home

“Rick, what are you,” you freeze, unable to finish your words when you see him take a knee in front of the crowd of your friends and family.  The tears almost instant when you realize what he is going to ask.

“y/n, I have had a lot of time to think, especially after our last fight.  Things have been up and down, we have fought, we have made up, I have been gone a lot.  But the one thing that has never changed is my love for you.  You have been there with me every step of the way, even when I haven’t deserved it.  Your blind faith in me has helped push me to do some of the greatest things I have accomplished in my life these last 2 years.  You’re home, it doesn’t matter where we are as long as we are together.  I told you earlier I’m coming home, and now here I am.  Will you marry me?” He asks you, a couple times his voice cracking from the pure emotions that are running through him at this moment.

You try to speak, but can’t bring yourself to do so as your tears begin to fall down your cheeks.  Instead you nod your head before running to him, letting him pull you into the sweetest hug of your life as he spun you around, giggling at the action.

When he lets you go he moves to slip the ring on your finger, giving you a moment to look at it before he pulls you in for a kiss.  Both of you forget that everyone is around you for a moment until you hear all the cheers.

It was then that you noticed that your family was standing behind the two of you, making you cry all over again as everyone started pulling you into hugs, congratulating the two of you before dinner was served and you all got a chance to eat, celebrate and catch up.

You couldn’t ask for a better return home, you get your fiance back, your family is here and so is his.  Everything feels right for the first time in months, and to make matters better he is going to be home with you for a while. 

Now if you can just convince him when you get home to let you put the Christmas tree up now that it is November first… but that argument can wait until the morning. 

#motionless in white #fanfiction #motionless in white imagine #bree sucks at fanfiction #miw #miw band #ricky olson x reader #ricky olson #ricky horror #ricky olson fic #ricky olson imagine #ricky olson fanfic #ricky olson fanfiction #Youtube

[thatlovinfeelin]

Flightless Bird | four | Bradley Rooster Bradshaw X OC

Synopsis: Josephine Wilson Miller is alone for the first time in her life. She got married after her first year of college and became a housewife, but that life is gone now. So she runs to San Diego, to her childhood best friend Jake, where she meets the man who could very well be her salvation.

series warnings: unplanned pregnancy, just pregnancy in general, talks of infertility. past mental and emotional abuse. anxiety. talks of women's reproductive systems (idk)

“You need to eat something,” Jake told Josephine less then ten minutes after she walked back into the house, “I made my mom’s old chicken broth.”

“Is it a peace offering?”

“No, that would be the cookies in the oven,” He said softly, “But for the record, Jose, I really am sorry. I crossed a line, well I crossed a few actually.”

“Yeah you did,” She replied, slowly taking a seat at the small kitchen table. 

Her feet were starting to hurt. She was sure they were starting to swell too. The first of many things that would change over the next couple of months. She wondered just how many things would change. 

“Nice and warm,” Jake set down a bowl of broth in front of her, “I even called my mom to have her talk me through everything, didn’t tell her exactly why though.”

“Thank you.” 

For more than just the broth, Jake knew that. There were some things that just didn’t need to be said between the two. They always seemed to have a deeper understanding of one another, it always annoyed their other friends during their school years. 

“Just eat up, will you? No way in hell you’ll be malnourished while you’re under my roof,” There was a hint of humor, but a lot more love. 

Some of the few people they were still friends with from high school always found it weird that Jose and Jake went from fucking like bunnies their junior and senior year, to somehow loving one another like family. There was nothing romantic left between them, not an ounce of attraction like that. But for Jose and Jake, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. They trusted one another, that’s why they loved the way they did in high school. Because they trusted one another, they could love the way they did now. 

“Think we should probably leave out the fact we used to date,” Jose shrugged, “I’ll already hear enough from Michael when it comes to the divorce, don’t need your friends here judgin me too.”

He nodded slowly in agreement, “I mean, Phoenix knows. She laughed her ass off for a while, actually. I could handle all of the shit jokes from the guys, but I don’t want that for you. Some things are better left in the closet.”

“Cheers to that,” She took a small spoon full of the broth, “How much does she know about us?”

“Just about everything, aside from all of the details about your situation,” Jake answered, “As promised, that stays between us until you say otherwise. You call the shots.”

“I feel like you’re waiting to shout from the rooftops,” She rolled her eyes. 

“I’m just being excited for you until you can be excited for yourself,” He shrugged, “I mean, remember the stupid parenting project we did our senior year? I would’ve failed if you weren’t so amazing. That baby is pretty damn lucky to have you as a mother.”

“You and I both know this isn’t an ideal situation, so don’t try to make me feel any better,” She sighed, “But you were right when you said I can’t admit it. Because then it becomes something I could lose, and I didn’t even know this was possible until that stupid test came back positive. I took five more just to be sure. If I say it, then I have to really care, and if I care it’ll ruin me if something happens.”

“When is your first appointment here?”

“End of the week. My doctor from New York set it up, it’s an old colleague of hers. I’m supposed to go twice as often as a normal patient with my…condition. I’m more than high risk.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Jake assured her, “You aren’t alone anymore.” 

She nodded slowly, eating more of the broth. She liked the feeling of the warmth in her empty stomach. It reminded her of cold winter days spent at Jake’s childhood home. His dad might’ve been an ass, but his mother was the warmest most loving person Josephine ever met. 

“This is really good, by the way. You did good.”

“Oh thank fuck,” He sunk down in the chair across from her, “I was shitting a brink the whole time, thinking I was gonna fuck it all up.”

“You didn’t, I promise.”

“Good, because I accidentally made a shit ton,” He admitted. 

“Well, lucky for you, I have your mom’s actual soup recipes saved in my phone. Plus, I don’t need step by step instructions,” She joked, poking his shoulder, “Really though, I can’t thank you enough Jake. I mean it.”

“Well, you don’t need to thank me, as long as I’m the godfather,” He shrugged, “I’m only half joking.”

“We can talk about it later.”

A week later, Jake was out with Phoenix while Jose was setting up the guest room. Though, Jake swore the room was now Josephine’s. She wasn’t going to stay there forever, so it wasn’t her room. Just a space she was occupying for a little while. 

She glanced out of her window to see Bradley, or Rooster whatever he really wanted to be called, walking towards the house. She glanced down at herself quickly, she could potentially start to somewhat show any day now, according to her doctor. Though, she supposed to anyone that didn’t know her she would just look bloated. The heavy sweatshirt she was wearing worked to conceal anything that could be amiss though. 

She slipped out of the front door in time to catch him walking up the front porch. Bradley’s cheeks were tinted pink and he had those same sunglasses on again. They looked old, Jose wondered for a moment if he found them at a second hand shop. Maybe he would tell her where. She liked more vintage pieces. 

“Hey, there you are. I was just coming to check on you.”

“Here I am,” She was nervous, rocking on her feet.

“Do you want to go to the park for a bit? Phoenix and Hangman probably won’t be back for hours,” He offered, a hint of a smile under that stupid mustache. 

Jose hated mustaches. Michael tried to grow one once. He swore it would make him look older and more distinguished. It looked horrible on him. After that he tried to grow a beard to match, but he just couldn’t manage it. The little bit of fuzz made him look like a child, or a laughingstock. Maybe even both. She hated them because they reminded her of the fights that came in the weeks that followed. 

But Bradley…god how could something she hated look so right on him? It was like he was meant to have a stache. Like the simple bit of facial hair completed him somehow. She wasn’t sure if she could even imagine him without one, or if he would even look right. 

“I promised Jake I would stay in the house,” She replied quietly.

He took a step further, suddenly becoming worried, “Is this him being too overprotective? Because if he’s forcing you to stay here-”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” She interrupted with a shake of her head, “I’ve been feeling a bit sick, I’m not supposed to exert myself at all. So, walking like that is out of the question.”

A half truth. Her doctor recommended limiting it to one walk a day, especially since Jose hadn’t been able to keep down more than one or two small snacks here and there. She was worried that with all of the movement around the house today, she would be risking too much. Jose couldn’t yet admit it to herself, or anyone else for that matter, but she already cared about this tiny little baby more than she ever thought she could care about another human being.

“Are you,” Bradley started to reach for her before he stopped and took a tiny step back, “Are you okay?”

She thought about it for a second. There was no simple answer to his question. Because yes, she was okay, but at the same time she wasn’t. She heard a heartbeat at her last appointment. Jake wanted to put the pictures on the fridge, until he realized that meant anyone could see and he knew Jose didn’t want that. He settled for slipping one in his wallet instead. Jose saw the baby, her baby, for the first time. She couldn’t bring herself to look at the last appointment. It was easier to detach herself from the blurry pictures they printed out. But seeing it in real time, seeing the heartbeat and the little tiny movements that she couldn’t feel yet…that was harder to deny. 

“I will be,” She finally replied, “I’m supposed to meet with a divorce attorney soon. I never thought I would actually be thankful for a divorce. Thank god my mama doesn’t know.”

She watched as Bradley’s face changed, a few times actually, but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all. Maybe she shouldn’t have brought up the divorce, but the sooner that was over the sooner she would be able to really breathe. She didn’t realize how much she wanted to be rid of Michael until the park the other night. 

“If I was in your place, I think I’d definitely want to talk to my mom about all of this,” He sighed. 

She swallowed a large lump in her throat. She didn’t know what it was there, or why her heart felt like it was going to sink all the way to her feet. But the way he looked now, well it made her feel like someone was going to punch her square in the chest. 

“Not every mom is a good one,” She was so quiet he almost didn’t hear her, “My mom…well I think she was always too worried about what the church thought, you know? Everything always had to be just so. If it wasn’t, well that was a very bad day. I think she was so caught up in all of that, that she didn’t know how to love her own daughter right.”

“And you father?” He seemed almost scared to ask. It didn’t matter to Jose, the word didn’t mean anything to her. 

“Don’t know. She never talked about him, she still won’t. I don’t know if he died, or left…hell I don’t even know if she knows who he is. She’s worked hard to stop being the person she was before I was born, and here I am being the exact same. Only I know who-”

She almost said she knew who the father was. She knew, but he didn’t want any part in this life they made. She snapped her eyes shut. She brought a hand up to wipe across her forehead to move hair out of the way before getting her mind back together. Move on, deflect. 

“The rules haven’t changed though, Bradley,” She said, opening her eyes again, “I’m still off limits. And as much as I appreciate you coming to check in on me, you shouldn't have. I’m fine, and I’m pretty sure you would be able to tell if I wasn’t because Jake would be unbearable.”

“I’m not scared of him, you know? I’ve handled him for a good few years before you came around,” Bradley joked. 

“Pretty sure you aren’t supposed to be fighting with the guy flying next to you,” She raised an eyebrow, “I think that’s bad tactics. Plus, I don’t think your superior officers would like it very much. So, I’m going to go back inside and you’re going to go back to your house, and once again we’ll pretend like this never happened.”

He seemed to laugh silently as he shook his head. But he still stepped backward down the steps, “You know, I’m not sure if I like being your dirty little secret, Miss Josephine.”

He was joking, she knew that, but she felt her heart sink again all the same. She took one step back towards the door, hand reaching out for the handle, “You aren’t my dirty little secret, trust me.” 

I already have one of those, she wanted to add. 

Before she could do or say anything else, she slipped back inside, firmly shutting the door behind her. With a long sigh she leaned against it, her mind might as well be scrambled right now. The change in hormones, along with everything else was enough, but something about Bradley made it ten times harder. 

“I’m trying to do right by you,” She said softly, talking to her baby for the first time in three months, “I’m trying not to be like my mama, I don’t want you to grow up with me sneaking men in and out of your life. But he is making it really damn hard, so please don’t hate me if I fuck this up. Because he really makes me want to fuck up.”

#bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw imagine #rooster bradshaw #rooster top gun #top gun #rooster fanfic #bradley bradshaw imagine #top gun maverick #top gun imagine #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun x reader #bradley bradshaw fluff #bradley bradshaw x female reader #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin imagine #jake hangman seresin #hangman top gun #hangman imagine #hangman x phoenix #flightless bird #stepdad rooster

[mygloviesme]

cool about it, eleven years later. || myg

no. 1 of 3: not strong enough to be your man

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: eleven years later, kanako lives in nyc with her childhood best friend keiko. bts have become a household name that floods her every day life, and she's learned to ignore it. after years of moving on from those months she spent with the seven boys, she finds herself in a good place. what happens after one fateful night she finally runs into faces she's tried so hard to run away from?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 4.5k

genre: ANGST, fluff, melodrama,

chapter warnings: mentions of mental health, drinking, smoking

inspo song: cool about it by boygenius

JULY 9TH, 2023, 12:12PM

ELEVEN YEARS LATER

Bright. Everything is way too bright. I groan and flip over my side, unable to ignore the throbbing in my head. I feel Keiko shove my side, “Koko, wake up. It’s noon.” She says. I lift my head to peak above the white comforter, squinting as I see her sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“I got way too fucked up last night.” I muffle under the sheets. 

“Yeah I think you’re getting too old for that.”

“Tellmeaboutit.” 

I definitely cannot handle my liquor the same way I could in my twenties. Ages twenty to twenty four was filled with sprite vodkas. And as I got older, just smelling alcohol made me hunch over and gag. But last night was different. I had been taking advantage of the connections I still have from being an idol so many years ago, getting invited to various up-scale parties and soirees. Some are fancy, some are trashy. Most of them being held by washed up celebrities that wanted everybody and anybody to come rager with them. 

But lately K-pop has been on the rise so my name get’s brought up every once in a while. They ignore the controversy that’s stapled to my name, instead calling me an ‘icon’ and ‘so ahead of your time.’ It would be more flattering if my past hadn’t been so chaotic. 

“I brought you a breakfast sandwich.” She says and tosses me the paper-wrapped food item. The smell of egg radiates off of it though, which in turn makes me jump from the bed and to the bathroom. I collapse onto the floor and grip the toilet, gross I know but I’m too old to be embarrassed anymore, my throat pushing out chunky acid. 

“Oh honey.” Keiko comforts me as she holds my hair up. I spit up the remaining vomit that sat in my mouth and lean myself on the bathroom wall, holding my knees. “Jesus.” I breathe. 

“Didn’t mean to trigger that.” She apologizes. 

“It’s okay, I’m actually starving but I don’t think I can consume anything.”

She brings over a glass of water from the counter, “Maybe you should try this.” She says sarcastically. I roll my eyes as I take the cup, downing the whole thing. My throat is scratchy and painful but I use that as another reason to finish it. 

She sighs and flushes the toilet for me, plopping the lid down and taking a seat on it. She messes with her fingers, obviously holding something back. She’s usually a very chatty person no matter the circumstances. So the fact that she hasn’t made a joke or a comment about this current situation makes me sure she has something to say. 

“What is it?” I mumble.

She perks her head up, pretending to be confused. I know her too well. “What do you mean?”

“Keiko. Spit it out. Or I’ll do it for you, on your feet.” I threaten playfully. I’m not very nervous to hear what she has to say, knowing it can’t be all that bad. It’s probably work, or maybe even “weird Charlie” the guy that texts her once in a while to hook up. I let out a soft ‘ugh’ and make a grossed-out expression, “Did you hook up with Charlie? Keiko, I told-”

“They released a book. Today. And they talk about you. Jungk- uh- he does.”

No fucking way. 

“You’re kidding.”

“No. I bought it. Sorry. It was a good thirty-something dollars though, and they actually go in depth about their trainee-”

I nudge her leg with my hand aggressively, “Show me! Now!” I shout. 

“Jeez, okay! Hold on.” She pulls out her phone and swipes through it for a couple minutes. She winces as she clicks on something, “Okay, just don’t freak out.” 

I shake my hand so she could hand me her phone, which she does.

 “I highlighted the-”

“Shh!”

I read it reluctantly. 

Jungkook: I met Kanako back in 2012. She was very sweet and a bit reserved, but we grew to be very close friends. We all hung out with her constantly during that hard time. She was there for us and we were there for her. It was a very beneficial dynamic with nothing in-between. I know she wanted to continue her education and we all respected that. I do miss her at times, and I hope she’s doing well. 

“Nothing in between…” I whisper as I bring my hand down to the floor. It would be a lie to say I never thought about them. Or Yoongi. That would be the biggest lie I’ve ever told. But it’s been so, so long. In a way, I’ve moved on. 

What made it all harder was their faces plastered on so many billboards and posters and Youtube ads and- 

You get it. Once that began in 2017, it was brought back to the surface. All the calls I ignored, all the times they did concerts here and I stayed in bed all day knowing I could buy a ticket the same day. Never reaching out. Mourning the life that never was, then feeling the shame that I couldn’t let go. In my darkest hours I still wish I was there. But I would never admit that, maybe not even to my therapist. It’s all so juvenile. 

And they’re different now. Much different than when I knew them. I saw Jungkook’s tattoos just a while ago and couldn’t recognize him. He’s not a boy anymore. Not the one I knew, not physically. And Yoongi…

“I know honey. It’s awful.” 

“I guess the NDA expired four years ago, but since they never said anything I just thought it wouldn’t come up. I hoped it wouldn’t. Did anyone else say anything?” I ask, knowing she knew who exactly I was talking about. 

She shakes her head, “He didn’t.”

I press my back into the wall and exhale, “This cannot be happening right now.”

Keiko stands and seats herself next to me, placing a hand on mine. She knows how I get, we’ve lived together for so long. I don’t think anyone has known me better than her besides my mom. And you know who. 

“I know, Koko. But think about it, they probably just wanted to say something once and for all. Nothing attached.”

I look at her with a guilty face, “Is it bad if I wish there was? Something attached, I mean.”

She hums, “Maybe not. But it doesn’t change anything. Let’s leave the past alone, yeah?”

I hang my head low and nod. She knows what I want but especially what I need. It was an ongoing thing for the first few years I lived with her. Constant panic attacks and days where I wouldn’t move from my bed. The day they released their first album and I replayed their performances over and over again. When I thought they took out ‘Just One Day’, just for it to be released later. That day was horrible. 

I don’t think I can admit how many times I played that song. If it were now, it would be my number one played song in my spotify wrapped. 

Don’t even get me started when they released ‘Butterfly.’ Let’s just say that song is forever banned in our house, along with the rest of them. Any mention of those three letters and I need to be dragged out and tranquilized. 

That’s why I like to mind my own. Go to work, ignore the billboards. Scroll on my phone, ignore their instagrams. Turn on the TV, ignore their performances. 

When I heard about Jin enlisting and Hoseok joining later on, I wanted to call them. To ask how they were. It’s been too long. I’ve never mustered the courage the past eleven years and now it just feels pointless. 

But I still have their number. I still have them all memorized in my head and written down on old sticky notes that collect dust in my closet. 

“We still have that thing to go to tonight.”

“Somi’s birthday party?”

“Yup.”

Fuck.

JULY 9TH, 2023, 8:00PM

I finish my makeup off with a shiny lip gloss, my staple for four years now. I don’t like change necessarily, and smelling the familiar fruity scent brings comfort. Or trauma, thinking of all the nights I would smear it on my lips after vomiting for ten minutes straight in a random club bathroom. 

Me and alcohol have a complicated relationship. Some would say it was teetering over alcoholism, I would call it a phase. It was my twenties, what can I say?

“You look amazing.” Keiko says as she walks through the bathroom door. She lifts up her skirt to take a quick pee, “No underwear again?” I laugh as I watch her roll her eyes. 

“This is the first night in a while I’m not being chained to the corporate desk. Let’s just say I hope I get lucky.” She says and finishes up. I shake my head playfully and scoot over the bathroom counter so she can wash her hands. I analyze my outfit once more, shimmying my top up so I can get a little more coverage. Everything about my body has changed since eighteen, obviously. 

I keep an anti-chafe stick in my purse if that tells you anything. That second-puberty in your twenties does exist, unfortunately. 

Keiko pouts as she turns around to look at her butt, “I thought this skirt would make me look perkier.” 

I tilt my head to her butt and back to the mirror, “I think it does.” I say in my humble opinion. Keiko is a sight for sore eyes, she always has been. She would be one of those people that you consider to age like fine wine. And she has been experimenting with lip filler, but hey. If you have the money, why not?

I pucker my lips and look down to my phone, flashing a notification indicating our Uber has arrived. “Our ride is here, let’s go.” I urge her. I grab my purse and toss my lip gloss inside, rushing to the door. She huffs, “You’re acting like I was the one spending an hour doing my makeup.” 

I glare at her as I open the door, “Not every twenty-nine year old still has that youthful glow you do. Ms. Just Some Concealer and Gel Brows.” I tease. We speed-walk down the hall and I can feel her irritated energy, “You were an idol in South Korea. I don’t wanna hear it!” She exclaims. 

I giggle to myself and we hurry down the stairs of our semi-nice apartment complex. It definitely beats the one we first lived in, but New York is an expensive place to live in. Even with Keiko’s old money background. She’s tried to let go of their help with monthly payments, as we’re nearly thirty and it’s a little embarrassing now. This place will drain your pockets like it’s no one’s business so…she still asks for money now and then. 

We take the elevator down to the parking garage, seeing the Uber we soon jump into. Tonight calls for a drink or two, especially with the news I got earlier. So no driving for the both of us. 

Maybe I’ll even meet someone new. Or two. You never know, right?

JULY 9TH, 2023, 9:02PM

With the busy NYC traffic, we make it an hour later than expected. The birthday party is being held in a private club in Soho, so I know me and Keiko are in for a treat. I have less anxiety being around other celebrities and social climbers, most of them not knowing who I am anyway. But lately I’ve been getting noticed a lot more lately, even some paparazzi stop to take my photo at times. 

Small articles pop up here and there with my name in it, and I can’t even imagine what they’ll look like tomorrow morning. The three-lettered boy group I used to know being a household name at this point. I have mixed feelings about it, but mostly happiness. Thinking of how stressed they were about their success, only to make it to Western audiences. Even getting a grammy nomination. I was tuned in, not going to lie. 

They should’ve gotten it, but anyway. 

I don’t think I wanna think about them tonight, so Keiko and I head to the bar as soon as we get in. The lights are pretty low, making it hard to see faces that clearly. I feel a hand on my arm, turning around to see the one and only Somi. 

“You guys made it!” She shouts over the loud music. She takes us both in a big hug, giggling and yelping. She’s definitely had a few drinks. 

“Yes, of course.” I smile at her. She gestures to the bartender, “Shots! Let’s get fucked up!” She screams. I see Keiko flinch slightly, giving me a nervous grin in response to the young girl's enthusiasm. I only laugh playfully as the bartender places three small cups in front of us, filled to the brim with what I assume to be vodka. 

Somi doesn’t wait a second to grab her glass, waiting for us to follow. Me and Keiko do so reluctantly but excited nonetheless. “One, two, now!” Somi giggles and we all drink down the burning liquid. 

Keiko slams her glass down and makes a sour face, Somi expressionless. It must be her age. I think it's barely legal for her to drink in the US. 

I put my glass on the table and Somi kisses both Keiko and I on the cheek, “Kay, I’m gonna go dance and stuff. Have fun, there’s loads of people here! And by the way, I think some special guests are gonna arrive. So keep an eye out!” She squeals and runs away before I can ask exactly who. 

Keiko chuckles, “I think she’s talking about Mark and stuff.”

“From NCT?” I furrow my brows. I can’t keep up.

Keiko nods, “I’ve been texting her and she tells me they’ve been talking.” 

I jolt my head back in shock, “That’s kind of risky.”

Keiko shrugs as she hands me my drink, this time a mixed cocktail. “Idols are crazy nowadays.”

It makes me think about him. I think idols have always taken risks. I did. 

I sigh and turn to the crowd of people chatting and dancing. There’s some familiar faces, but when are there not? This time it’s more relevant celebrities, ‘it’ girls as the tabloids call them. A part of me misses being that young, but I think I appreciate my age more now. I know more, I react maturely. I’m doing great for the most part. Although I’ve been aching for some action with any guy for a while now. Emphasis on any guy. It calls for some shaming from Keiko, but I’ll leave that for after the damage is done. 

Keiko is handed her own drink and nods to the dance floor, “C’mon, let’s have fun.” She gives me a smile and I go along happily. We walk towards the mass, seeing all kinds of bodies rocking against each other. The deeper you get in with celebrities, the more erotic and messy it seems to get. Don’t ask the stories I’ve heard. 

Keiko grabs me closer and we sway with each other to the music. The bass is deafening and I only hope chugging my drink makes it more bearable. It’s salty and sweet and blazing, amplifying the feeling of this hot club. There’s something about being in a crowded group. We all have the same mission, the same motive. We’re all dancing in clothes that cost as much as our overpriced rent, spilling drops of liquor and bodily fluid on the material without a care. 

It’s a nasty headspace, but it’s so addicting to get caught in. Especially when it’s just me and Keiko, not needing a man but only each other. I was the one who introduced her to nightlife and she was very hesitant at first. She wasn’t used to the lights or the drinks but just like me, once she got into a groove, the right drink, the right people, we didn’t stop. Every Saturday till 4am we’d be out. And that was for a few years straight. 

Once you vomit mid-way into every night out, it becomes more of a relief. Because that means you can just keep going. Bad habit or not, it was so fucking fun. 

But now we’re nearly thirty. We pace ourselves like responsible adults. Most of the time. 

“Do you want another drink?” I ask as I see we’ve drunk both of ours in a matter of fifteen minutes on this dance floor. Keiko grins mischievously, “You know me so well Koko.” She shouts in my ear. I laugh and grab the glass in her hand, rethinking leaving her here. 

“Uh, actually come with me. Don’t want some grimy guy to come up to you.”

She nods in agreement and we both snake ourselves out of the flock of sweaty bodies. The bar glows in front of us with isles of liquor, waiting to be sipped on. Keiko turns to me as we wait for the bartender to finish up with someone else’s drink, “I saw a guy I liked.”

I raise my brows, “Is that so? Who?”

She peaks over my shoulder, “I mean I can’t really see what he looks like because of how fucking dark it is, but it’s that one over there.” She points slightly. 

I try to slyly look to who she’s referencing, seeing a man with a loose short-sleeved button up and an arm filled with tattoos. His head is leaned over as he’s talking to another man and I give Keiko a look. 

“What?” She throws her hands in the air. 

“I mean his body is nice but I didn’t think you were wanting a-”

“Shh, he’s coming over here! Wait-” She covers her mouth in shock. 

I widen my eyes from her alarming expression, “What is it?”

“Kanako don’t fucking look. DON’T LOOK.” She insists. I grow frustrated from her demands and keep my head down, per her ask. I feel an approaching presence, a voice speaking.

 “Gin, neat.” It says. A man. 

I lean over to Keiko who’s attempting to hide her face. “Is it the guy? Why can’t I look?” I do a whisper/yell type thing as I talk. 

She winces, “Just wait for him to leave.”

The female bartender walks over to us, waiting for our drink order. I notice Keiko’s silence and the impatient bartender, lifting my head once and for all to speak. Keiko shakes her head vigorously with her eyes closed like she can’t bear to watch. I don’t understand why she’s so afraid. And quite frankly, it’s getting annoying. 

“Two vodka cranberries.” I say. 

There’s a beat of quietness. 

“Kanako?” The man next to me says. I turn my head unexpecting a big reveal, but to my surprise, it is. A big one. One that I don’t want. He’s so different. His hair is long, his body is taller and so much bigger than I remember. It’s him, it’s him. Fuck, it’s him. Eleven years later. 

My jaw drops as I make eye contact with him. “Jungkook.” 

He’s as appalled as I am, saying nothing for what feels like hours. His eyes scan my body, my face, my eyes. “You- I haven’t- what…are you doing here?” He chokes out. 

I stutter, “W-We- I’m with my friend. Keiko. We know…Somi.” I respond, the information feeling so irrelevant as it rolls off my tongue. There’s so many things I want to say, and yet nothing comes to mind. What should I do? Apologize? Talk to him like an old friend? Look at Keiko for help?

Jungkook moves his shoulder to reveal the man next to him, Namjoon. 

This can’t get any worse. 

“I’ll leave you to it. Call me if you…need me.” Keiko leans into my ear to say. I try to nod but my body refuses to move. I don’t necessarily need her here, but It makes me feel stranded. I can’t say anything. All I can think about is eleven years ago. Their faces were so different. The way they carried themselves was so different. They’re global artists now, but when I look at Jungkook I still see that young glimmer he used to have. Even Namjoon, whose shoulders are broader than they were, somehow morphs into the smaller boy I knew then. 

“L-Let’s go outside. It’s quieter.” Jungkook requests. 

JULY 9TH, 2023, 10:06PM

We stand outside the club doors awkwardly. Jungkook grabs a carton of cigarettes and pulls one out, lighting it as it sits between his teeth. That’s new. He holds the white stick in his fingers and takes a long inhale, exhaling into the summer air. 

Namjoon is staring off into the road. Quiet. They’re both quiet. 

“How’ve you guys been?” I whisper. Everything I want to say sounds so stupid in the big scheme of things. I feel so small again. So insecure again. Old Kanako.

“You know.” He says, referencing their current status. It sounds kind of dick-ish, but I shrug it off. I don’t blame him for being mad. Although it’s been so long. 

I keep getting a phantom buzz in my back pocket. When I first moved here, I’d get calls from Jungkook every morning and every night. Ignored, ignored, ignored. He stopped after a few months, but the feeling still haunts me. Witnessing my phone light up and expecting to see his name was a thing for me. A thing I’d go over in therapy. 

I always said I’d pick up one day, but when that day came, he stopped calling. 

“I’m sorry.” I say in the midst of the quietude. Stating the unspoken obvious. 

“Don’t be sorry.” Jungkook responds, flicking the ash off his cigarette. Passive.

“I still am.” I mumble. 

Namjoon turns over to me, still hiding behind Jungkook in a way. His arm leans onto the brick wall, “We’ve been wondering about you.”

I chuckle, “Yeah, I read your book.” 

Jungkook takes a hit off his cigarette, “I didn’t really say that. It was the ghostwriter.” Aggressive.

Thanks. 

“Oh. Right.” I whisper. 

“Jungkook.” Namjoon mutters to the apathetic boy. 

Jungkook shrugs, “Sorry. I’m over it now.” Doesn’t feel like it. 

“What he means to say,” Namjoon gives him a look, “Is that we’ve moved on. And grown. Don’t feel bad. We now know how hard it was for you.” He tries to reassure. But I know it’d take Jungkook a while to say the same. I try not to take it personally, but all I can think about is how he’d cling to me at night. How he used to sip on his banana milk and console me with kind words. I shouldn’t expect that in the least. But it hurts either way.

“I understand, it’s okay. It’s complicated, right?” I say. 

“Right.” Namjoon smiles. His dimples, I remember those. 

“Yoongi’s doing fine, if that’s what you were wondering.” Jungkook says under his breath.

I shut my eyes, sighing. I try to level with him, “I wonder about all of you. But thanks.” I accidentally match his passive tone.

The tattooed boy tosses his cigarette on the ground, smushing it under his shoe. 

“Then why didn't you reach out?” He spits. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth. One that trickles down to my throat and almost triggers a chunky reaction. 

“JK, not now-” Namjoon starts but Jungkook has a motive. 

“No, Namjoon.” Jungkook whips his head towards me, “I’m still hurt. Yes, after all these years. Seeing you Kanako,” He bites his lip anxiously. “I wish you had fucking picked up. Just once.”

My lip quivers seeing him in this state. Small, like me. There’s tears pricking his eyes. 

“I couldn’t.”

“Why not? Tell me!”

“It would’ve made it all harder!”

He steps inches closer to me, his lip ring shining under the street lights. He’s so foreign to me, but his eyes stay familiar. An unwanted nostalgia floods my heart and crushes it under his gaze. 

“You don’t even know.” He whispers. 

I plead with him, “Then tell me.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw, “Fuck it. Fuck everything. Fuck you.”

He storms back into the club, shoulder-checking me in the process. I stand idle, in shock. In pain. He would’ve never said that to me. Not in a million years. Am I that horrible of a person? 

Namjoon walks over to me quickly, caressing my shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry, he’s just-”

“Hurt. I know. I know.” I say in disbelief. 

His hand stands on my arm, looking at me intently. But I can’t look at him, it’s all so hard now. Everything is coming back to me. Locked up in those dorms, Jeju, the first time I’ve ever been to a club. How quickly it ended. How quick it was for me that I left. I know I shouldn’t be mad at Jungkook, or any of them. But I feel like the teenager I was back then when Namjoon comforts me. It reminds me of those times when they’d be there for me. 

How hard it was for me to accept care from Keiko because all I wanted was them. It wasn’t the same. The smells weren’t the same. The lingering bickering was my background music. I adjusted to it so well just to leave. I can’t think about this anymore. 

I hear a ringing and Namjoon removes his hand to reach into his jacket pocket, stuttering a ‘I-I just need a second, hold on’ before walking a few steps ahead to answer the call. All I hear is a faint voice on the phone and a hasty Namjoon. 

“Yeah I know. He’s upset. I’ll talk to you about it later. Me? I’m outside. N-No don’t come, it’s not a good time. I know, but just a second. Hold on, don’t-”

The metal doors of the club open once more, a woman in a two-piece set strutting out with someone close behind. As if this night couldn’t get any worse. Reminding me of the broken pieces I had to put back into place. It’s all shattering again. 

I purse my lips in a thin line and turn my back as soon as I see him. Long haired, bomber-jacket, black jeans, him. I hope he doesn’t see me. Namjoon rushes over to me in an attempt to hide my body. 

“S-Sorry. Busy. In the middle of something.” The tall man blurts out. 

It failed though, because he knows. My silhouette, my hair. 

Like instinct. Nothing’s changed. 

“Kanako.” The oh-so familiar man breathes.

Keiko has been calling me Koko for so long that hearing my full name from him, his mouth, causes a chain reaction of goosebumps all over me. The alcohol that was seeping into my conscience has disappeared as my heart beats a thousand times a minute. 

“Yoongi.”

click here to read more of this story!

an: as this story comes to a close soon I’d love to answer any questions you have wondered about this story! or me! or anything at all! just go to my ask box and ask away! or don’t! that’s ok too! love you all! thanks for reading

#min yoongi #bts #agust d #bts imagines #suga #fanfic #yoongi #yoongi fanfic #bts fluff #bts hoseok #bts min yoongi #bts moodboard #bts seokjin #bts namjoon #bts taehyung #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts jhope #bts jin #bts jk #bts angst #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts icons #bangtan #taehyung #bts army #jimin #bangtan sonyeondan #run bts

[bullet-prooflove]

Choices!Series Part Five: Stay With Me - Nestor Oceteva x Reader

Tagging: @annetje @anime-weeb-4-life @danzer8705 @drabbles-mc @alwaysachorusgirl @witches-unruly-heart @mysoulisasunflower @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @est1887 @the-wandering-lunatic

Part One: First Date (NSFW) - Nester and you have an unusual first date.

Part Two: Familia - (Feat: Marcus Alvarez) - Marcus discovers your relationship.

Part Three: Fair Trade - Miguel makes a proposal.

Part Four: Slaughterhouse Rules - Nestor deals with the aftermath.

“Get her wherever she needs to go.”

Miguel’s instructions ring in Nestor’s ears as he sits in the driver’s seat of the Escalade, both hands on the steering wheel. It’s been a couple of miles now and you haven’t said a fucking word. You’re curled up in the passenger seat with his jacket wrapped around your shoulders, your head resting against the glass. He feels the distance stretching between the two of you and he doesn’t know how to close to gap.

He thinks you must blame him, for putting that zip tie on your wrists, for letting Miguel do this to you, for not pulling the trigger sooner.

“Thank you.” You say softly and it jars him from his thoughts because he doesn’t expect it. He expects anger, rage, admonishment, all reasonable reactions to the trauma you’ve endured but he doesn’t expect your gratitude.

“Don’t thank me.” He tells you, as he indicates to pull over. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Look at me, my love.” You request.

He can’t. Instead, he turns off the engine and looks straight ahead. You undo the seat belt before turning to face him, your hand comes to rest on his arm, and he can feel you trembling through the fabric of his shirt.

“You are the only fucking one that I will ever let see this side of me.” You tell him with a ferocity he feels in his fucking bones.

He twists his head towards you and sees the tears, they trail down your cheeks, glistening in the light from the streetlamp outside. There’s so much sadness in you right now, he can’t bare to see it. He tries to lock himself away. Tells himself you’ll be better off without him and his torn fucking loyalty but he doesn’t believe it because the truth is he was already pulling the fucking trigger before Miguel had given the order. He knows which side he’s landed on.

“Mi Corazón.” He whispers, pressing his forehead against yours. His thumb ghosts over the apple of your cheek as he chases away the tears. “I would fucking die for you, you know that?”

Your lips twitch up into a smile as he cups your face between his palms, and he feels like he’s seeing it for the first time all over again. Something blossoms in his chest, and he realises it’s hope, because he knows in this moment, that you believe in him as much as he believes in you.

“You’re always so fucking dramatic, you know that?” You tell him with a humorous lilt, using the back of your hand to wipe away the wetness on your face.

Despite the fact it has been an absolutely shitty day he finds himself laughing, he can’t help it. There’s such a joy that comes with being around you, it’s like something lights up inside of him and chases away all that darkness until there’s just him left standing there, a man in love with a beautiful woman, one that completes him so perfectly.

“Stay with me.” He asks you, his nose trailing down the length of yours until his lips brush over your mouth. “You don’t have to be alone anymore; you don’t have to handle this by yourself. Make your home, my home. When you’re here, be here with me.”

It complicates everything but he means it. He wants you to have a safe place to come back to, a space of your own where you can finally rest your head. A home you don’t have to leave unless you want to. It means everything to you because more than anything right now you need the security, and he knows it. This thing that happened to you today, it’s brought back too many memories, it’s reminded you what it’s like to feel helpless, to have your power stripped away from you, not to have choice. Your head’s a dark space to live right now and you can’t take that back to Marcus and his family, you need to recuperate, find a way to move past those ghosts.

Everything’s too raw right now, too fresh, too vivid. It plays back and forth in your head, the two events bleeding into one another. You can’t separate them both, all you can think about is that moment, the one where you realised that no matter how hard you fought, how much you resisted, it was going to happen. Then the moment when it did happen, when everything was torn away from you, and you were left lifeless in a drainage ditch, breathless and beaten half to death under the Afghan sun.

“Thank you my love,” You whisper, burying your face into the hollow of his neck. You inhale his scent, that rich blend of mandarin and amber and it floods your veins, soothing over your frayed nerves as his lips grace your hair line. “I’d like that.”

--------------------------------------

That night you fall asleep with Nestor wrapped around you. His arms clasp you close, drawing you into the confines of his bare chest, your back tucked against him. Your hair is damp from the shower you’d taken as soon as soon as you’d got back to the apartment. You’d spent a long time under the water, scrubbing your skin until it was an intense shade of pink. He’d left you some clothes, the ones he knew you favoured. His faded grey Method Man t shirt, a pair of black boxer shirts that were slightly too small for him and the fuzzy sleeping socks from the last time you’d stayed over. When you’d come to bed, he’d drawn the blankets up around you cocooning you in their warmth, sheltering you from the harsh world outside.

He wants to make sure you know that you’re loved, that there’s someone here for you when you need it because he senses you are going to need it. He doesn’t see your vulnerability as a weakness, he never has.

Your dreams are torrid, eventful things that make you jolt in your sleep. When you start to stir, he kisses your hair and whispers sweet words against your skin that seem to chase away the terrors of the night. He leaves the lamp on nightstand on because he doesn’t want you to wake up in darkness, panicking, not knowing where you are. He wants you to have a sense of place, to know that you’re home, safe with him.

He buries his face into the curve of your shoulder and inhales the scent of manuka honey and shea, from the shampoo you use because the heat dries out your hair. He needs this right now, to be close to you, because what happened today scared the living shit out of him too. Seeing that animal with his hands on you, hearing those words…

It takes a lot for Nestor to lose control. He’s been with you through some serious shit, but this has been the worst. What happened today will haunt him for the rest of his life. Feeding you to the fucking wolves like that…

He doesn’t think he’ll be able to forgive Miguel for it. The other man may not know about the relationship between the two of you but he knows how important you are to Marcus, how the two of you are practically family. He wonders if it would have made a difference if he had known but he doubts it. There’s a reason he’s not told Mikey about you. He knows he’ll view you as a threat, an interloper onto his territory, because that’s how he views Nestor.

The two of them…

They haven’t been family for a long time. He tries to remember the last time the two of them talked, actually talked and he doesn’t remember. It was like trying to roll a weighted dice, no matter how he tried to reframe their relationship in his mind, it always lands the same way. When Mikey needs him, he’s there. There wasn’t room for anything else.

He knows this thing between the two of them is going to come to a head, it’s like a train crash. You can see it happening but there isn’t a damn thing you can do to stop it.

Love Nestor? Get added to his tag list!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#nestor oceteva x you #nestor oceteva x reader #nestor mayans #nestor oceteva #nestor #gino vento #mayans #mayans fx #mayans mc

[hazzabeeforlou]

Oh you are not alone believe me. I am avoiding everything to do with the doc because the kid's involvement is my line in the sand. And you are a better person than I am because I don't actually understand why Louis has to do this anymore. Whether it be contracts, closet, career etc. I'm at a point where none of those things are acceptable reasons for using a child on such a big scale. And I'm truly astounded by how many people are saying just focus on Louis and ignore the kid because that is not the point at all. It's that this is so fucked and needs to be acknowledged as such.

Right? And I wish I could not care so much! But I just CAN’T! In my head there are two options

1) louis is the real father and hence the SHITTIEST father I’ve ever heard of, the laundry list of reasons being too long to recount but there’s a reason the first half of that kid’s life isn’t in the doc, and I’m sorry as mostly women in this fandom if he did have an oopsie baby every single thing about how he handled it, as both a millionaire and a man, is fucked up (and to be clear I don’t believe this, I’m just saying this is one of the two options)

2) louis is not the father, this is a stunt and for nearly seven years now he’s been burdened with this albatross of a fandom divider, and instead of putting to rest rumors or taking an ACTUAL DNA TEST he decides the best thing to do, for whatever reason, is to dig deep into the false narrative and hope he can have his cake and eat it too. I’m super pissed at this on many levels and whatever his reasoning, yeah, I have a nephew F’s age, and I can’t imagine burdening a kid with a legacy that is doomed to blow up one way or another, at some time or another. It’s super fucked up. It truly is. And I “trust” Louis, in that I get he’s making savvy career moves, and I believe he genuinely cares about the kid. But you know how when you’re in the middle of a shit relationship or a horrible job or an abusive teacher you really can’t think clearly or realize the true magnitude of the fuckery until you’re OUT from under it?? Yeah I feel like bbygate has warped every participant to the point that this is nbd to them. Meanwhile me and anon over here are like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

#sigh #anonymous #I guess I should tag this #babygate #I truly didn’t mean to rant tonight I’m just pissy

[starryeyedadmirer]

Grayson Dolan: Taco Baby

-Grayson x Reader-

!!CW: This one gets kinda dirty!! — Belly Worship (Playing, Rubbing, Kissing, Licking), Navel Worship (Fingering, Kissing, Kissing, etc.), Bloating, Smells/Odors, Penetrative Sex, Unprotected Sex, C*m, Allusion to Mpreg/Pregnancy

Synopsis: You’ve just made your first successful vegan meal in years… and, after enjoying such a wonderful alternative dinner with your boyfriend, Grayson, you’ve only just come to realize how fulfilling — and delicious — that vegan food can truly be. Grayson’s had so many helpings of your culinary triumph that he looks as though he’s fallen pregnant with a big foodbaby… and although the extent of his bloating is initially a bit alarming, you just can’t help but to have a little fun with his new, beautiful, baby bump. He’s just so gigantic… that even his belly button has changed, to resemble that of an expecting mother. The two of you have only just put down such an incredible, healthy supper — and, in the process, created a beautiful (though imaginary) child together — and now, it’s time for a big, pregnant, creamy dessert… to celebrate the conception.

Words: 2,525 (+/-)

A/N: This is an ooolllddd fic, from at least two years ago, that I’ve reposted about a handful of times (without going back through, to revise it)… so, sorry if the writing isn’t the best. I have changed it up quite a bit in the past, but, at some point, I figured that I had rewritten it enough to keep the original atmosphere of the whole thing, while also making it a bit smoother to read. With that being said, I apologize for any mistakes I may have miss (as I honestly don’t want to toil around with it anymore), and I hope you enjoy the read.

Wattpad Link — “Celebrity Worship Fics” Series

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Your taco dinner with Grayson went well tonight — a lot better than you expected it to. Not only did you produce one of the best meals you've ever made in your life, you also discovered that vegan food isn't as bland as you thought... you actually enjoy it quite a bit. Now that your bellies are full, the two of you are curled up together on the couch, half-watching whatever's playing on the TV as you enjoy each other's warmth.

"Wow," Grayson groans, laid between the couch cushions with your head on his chest, "Dinner was great tonight! Nice job, Babe." Though he's already complimented you at least a thousand times since he finished his plate, his flattery still feels as genuine as the first — it just serves to show that your hours of laboring over the stove weren't for naught. "Thanks," you sigh, "I tried really hard on those tacos, Gray. Glad to know my work paid off."

Tonight's meal marks your first success in a long list of kitchen-related failures. After your first breakfast blunder, the Great Crêpe Fire of Christmas 2019, it seemed your culinary losing streak would never come to an end, but tonight's taco triumph has proven otherwise.

Grayson nods his head, poking at the top of yours with his chin. "Yeah, it really did. I think this is the first time in years that I haven't had to pretend to like your food! You know, I used to wait until you left the room to throw it away... but I couldn't get enough tonight. Those tacos were fucking awesome!"

"Wow," you gasp, unsure if you should feel proud or insulted, "Ummm... okay. I knew my cooking was bad... but you could've at least had the decency to tell me to my face... and you, of all people, shouldn't be talking, Mr.Charred Pancakes! I can't believe you used to do that behind my back! You know, pigs will be flying by the time you make something that isn't burned totally black or completely underdone..."

Grayson blows up his chest underneath your head, wrapping his arms tightly around your head and tucking it between his pecs. "Wait... wait. I was just joking, okay," he laughs, "Chill out, Babe. It was just a joke. Calm down. Don't go crazy on me now. I'm starting to feel a little queasy, I couldn't handle you if I tried."

"That's what the hell you get," you yelp, mocking him as you struggle to free your head from under the weight of his bicep, "You said it yourself that you couldn't get enough, and now look at you! Woah, Gray! You're huge! Are your feeling alright?" Grayson's stomach looks nearly three times it's usual size, so big that it's peeked almost halfway out of his shirt. At first, it's nothing too alarming, but the more you stare at it, the more it seems to grow.

"I'm fine. I'm fine," he answers, choking back a burp, "trust me, I am. It's just some bloating. In a few hours, I'll be back to normal."

"Okay, good," you reply, resting your hand on his stomach, "I don't want you throwing up on me or anything. Dinner is always better on a plate, not chucked up from your guts..."

His beautiful brown eyes staring into your soul, Grayson smirks, placeing his hand over yours, and laughing boisterously at the size of his new belly. Suddenly, all the worry you felt before fades away, and you're laughing too. "Ya know, I feel like we're in one of those maternity photos right now," he jokes, entangling his fingers with yours as his eyes scan you up and down, "You know what I mean? The ones where the fathers are all over the moms' bellies, like, kissing them and stuff. It'd be funny if we recreated those pictures, but nobody else is here to take the photos. That sucks."

With your chest still full of laughter, and not a single clear thought in your mind, you slide yourself off from Grayson's chest and kneel down on the floor in front of the couch, playing along with his little joke. "Well, nobody has to be," you chuckle, "See? I'll be the dad in the photo... you'll obviously be the mom... and I'll give you a little smooch." Trying your hardest to contain your laughter, you purse your lips up against his stomach, looking into his eyes as you begin to scatter little kisses around the surface of his skin. Your lips move around in tight circles, landing sporadically around the rim of his belly button. "Mmm," he laughs, his shy grin hidden behind the palm of his hand, "your lips are really warm. That tickles."

It's all for shits and giggles — a new little inside joke — up until you accidentally let a bit of drool slip through your lips. "Oh, fuck! I'm sorry," you blurt out, slurping the rest of the dangling dribble back into your mouth, "I...I didn't mean to..." Grayson shivers, his laughter quickly coming to a hush as he curls up his toes and kicks his legs off from the couch. "That just slipped out." Laughing awkwardly at yourself, you look around for something you can use to wipe your spit from his belly. "Stay still, Gray, I'll clean you up. Kinda got carried away there... I'm glad Ethan wasn't here to get a picture of that shit."

Having ruined the fun with your loose lips, you wipe your face dry with the bottom of Grayson's shirt, then touch the material to his skin. Again he shivers, trembling as the cotton fabric runs against his abdomen, it seems that he just can't help himself. "Mmm, sorry," he whispers, his voice trembling as he rests his head back into the cushion behind him, "I... I guess my stomach is just feeling a bit sensitive right now. Oh... and my toes are really, really cold. I actually think you should keep doing what you're doing though, Babe... with all the kisses and stuff... it's really helping with my, um... pain."

You know where this is going — his hesitation is a clear sign that he's into it — it's too obvious to go unnoticed. It has been a while since the two of you have gotten hot and heavy, so why let a full stomach stop you now? You have to admit, you never expected to feel such an attraction to him in the state he's in, with his gut all round and tight, you kind of do... it's something you just can't help. After your much-deserved shower compliments, all the joking around, Grayson's bedroom eyes... you can't blame yourself for feeling a little bubbly inside. Grayson grabs your wrist, stopping your hand from wiping away the last bit of your drool, "Just leave it, its fine. Like I said, nobody's here, so... why don't we use this time to our advantage? We've got the whole house to ourselves..." His grip on your arms grows more firm, just enough to keep you restrained without causing any pain — it's always been his way of teasing you. Whether he's got a hold on your neck, your wrists, or your butt, his tight grip always gets you in the mood.

"Oh, Ok...," you reluctantly agree, "I guess I'll just... rub it in then." Slowly, you rub the rest of your spit into his skin with the palm of your hand — it's taut surface catching traction under your skin — and start to kiss his tummy again. "Yeah, just like that," Grayson says, encouraging of your gentle touch, "That's good." As if it has a mind of its own, your tongue slips out from your lips again, slowly cascading a stream of saliva down onto his flesh. "Woah," Grayson moans, "Th—That feels... amazing."

His hands find their way onto either side of his gut, rubbing themselves around in big circles against his supple skin, and enclosing your lips between them. Their motions force your mouth inward, closer to the center of his belly, until you're right above his navel. You can just barely smell the shallow hole, it's faint sweaty odor wafting up to your nose as you move it around between his hands — it doesn't smell as bad as you thought it would. Feeling trapped, with no way to get around them, you reluctantly dip your tongue into his navel, tasting the bitter pool of sweat that has collected inside of it.

Grayson's stomach tosses and turns inside, twisting under the wet sensation of your tongue. "Fuck," he moans, holding your head over his gut with his tight fist gripping the nape of your neck, "that feels... s—so... great. T—Tell me how it smells in there, I wanna know. H—How does my belly button smell?" His attempt at dirty talking you — if that's what it's meant to be — is a bit strange to you at first. Why would he want to know how his belly button smells? Why does it turn him on so much? Grayson's moans grow louder — into deep chesty growls — and almost instantly, you realize that none of your questions really matter; it's just what he wants to hear. His eyes roll so far back into his head that you're pretty sure he's reading his own thoughts, and his bottom lip is nearly purple from all his biting. His growls grow into booming whimpers — sexy words of deep passion — then shrink back into the soft moans they evolved from.

"Hmm," you ponder loudly, sliding your tongue out from the hole, "Like sweat... and tacos. It's really dirty, Gray. Do you want me to lick it clean?" You feel awkward as you slip your tongue back inside, swiveling it back and forth, but he loves the sensation too much for you to stop yourself any time soon... his pleasure eases away your discomfort with each passing second. "Yeah," he answers, his voice trembling, "Mmm... it smells bad? So dirty and stinky. I bet you like that. Clean it out for me, Baby." His big fist releases it's grip on your neck and slides down to your back, pulling up your shirt as you continue to salivate all over him and his gigantic food baby. Your shirt comes up over your shoulder, and before you know it, Grayson is on top of you on the floor, pushing his gut down against your face as his meal twists and turns inside him. His skin is hot and red — wet with your spit — and his stomach feels tight against your cheeks.

"Are you ready," he asks, looking down longingly into your eyes, "Mmm... are you?" You are… you think… although you don't know what for. He could do anything he wants with you trapped below him, but what are you going to say? No? Silent, you brush your lips against the curvature of his big bowling ball and nod. You hear the zipper on his pants undo itself, and then you feel yours yank down to your ankles. "Mmm, you're too big for your jeans now, huh," you tease him, watching as he looks for a place to put his throbbing cock, "That's so sexy, Big Guy."

You feel yourself getting hot with anticipation, and then it finally happens — Grayson thrusts himself deep inside of you. "Put your finger in my belly button," he moans, peering down over his stomach to — watching himself ram into you, "Do me while I do you." Completely paralyzed with pleasure from the waist down, you yank your hands free from their pinned position on the floor, and slip your finger back into his belly button. Almost instantly, your fingertip is dripping wet, completely enveloped in your slimy saliva.

Grayson's back thrusts harder and harder, until it gives out, leaving him motionless on top of you — and your finger crushed between your bodies. "Oh my god," he gasps, "I'm gonna! I'm gonna... Oh shit!" You watch in pure awe as he yanks himself out of you, spraying his thick load of spunk up onto his belly.

His body convulses on top of yours, completely emptied of its most precious fluid. You missed seeing his O-face, so much that it seemed almost foreign to you this time. His wide, gaping mouth, his eyes rolled to the very back of his skull, the thick veins popping out of his neck, they're such a nice sight for sore eyes. Amazed by the spectacle of his orgasm, you roll yourself out from under him and push him onto his back — taking a seat on his naked pelvis. You're in a lustful daze as you stare directly at the white mess on his gut. It's beautiful, looking almost as if he's spilled thick milk all over himself — even though that's not something he drinks — maybe almond milk.

"Oh yeah," Grayson groans, out of breath as he lays under you, "Come here and lick my belly button clean." Without hesitation, you hold his wrists down against his chest — taking the open opportunity to pin him down — and slide your stomach back and forth against his, covering your abdomen in his seed. "Looks like we made a mess," you tease him, lowering your head down to the underside of his gut," And it's a big one! Must've been super pent-up, huh?" The view from the other side of his stomach is beautiful. Only his chin and the tip of his nose can be seen from this side, shown over the dip where his belly button is.

Your tongue slides out of your mouth again, this time with you in control, and traces its way up what seems to be a newly-forming happy trail to his navel, then forces itself down into the hole again. Just as you anticipated, the thick warmth of his spunk feels amazing on your tongue, and acts as the perfect lubricant to fill the space between your tastebuds and his skin. "Oh, fuck," Grayson moans, his eyes big as he stares blankly at the ceiling, "Oh my god! That feels... Auugh!"

"Tasted good too," you laugh, cleaning up what's left of the mess, "Too bad it's all gone!" Grayson wriggles his hands free from yours, looking down at his red, irritated abdomen. Slowly, he dips his finger into his soaked belly button and brings it up to his nose. "Oh, yeah. That smells awful. So hot." Finishing off your task, you kiss your way down the inside of his thighs, all the way to his feet. The sour smell of sweat fills your nostrils once more as you kiss the damp spaces between his toes, enjoying the aroma. Having left your thick, white mark all over his body, you place your head back onto his stomach and rest.

There the two of you lay, one on top of the other on the floor, breathless and full. You can still smell the sweat between his toes, the tacos wafting their way out through his pores, and suddenly you can't help but to feel proud of yourself. Both your dinner and your long, sexy dessert were a huge success!

_________________________________

Thanks for reading ❤️❤️❤️!!!

#starry eyes #grayson dolan #grayson dolan belly/tummy #grayson dolan navel #smut fic #grayson dolan smut

[a-hobit]

Using my tumblr account as a vent space once again!

So for reasons unspecified I’m an adult still living with my parents and grandmother. I’m almost 21 and I’ve lived in a shoebox apartment with my mom (and now stepdad and old lady) for as long as I can remember. I used to live in a house but really I don’t remember it. The fact we were pretty tight with cash didn’t really bother me growing up but as a full adult now with my own money it feels so unfairly good to spend it on the things I want. I try to spoil my mother whenever I can but she’s pretty hard to buy for. She gave up literally everything for me and my sister. She gave up everything she loved to take us away from my biological dad. I have always known that the life she has is not the one she wanted for me, my sister, or herself. She wanted a home she was proud to go back to and that her children could grow up in. She wanted to host family gatherings and have me and my sister invite guests over. She wanted to grow a seed in the backyard and watch It grow into a tree like she watched her children grow.

It really has always killed me to know that while I may not mind where we are it hurts her deeply that I do not remember that house. That I do not remember a complete family or a simple life. And that as much as she gave up for us it still wasn’t enough. I wonder how many people can say that they understand my mother — she always had friends with simple easy lives that she couldn’t seem to cry to and so she held in that grief of a broken family and that lost life by herself for as long as we’ve lived here.

Now like a gift from the greatest tragedy my mother has that opportunity to buy that home. Not the original one, not that one but a different home. Something she’s proud of. I see how stressed it makes her to have this thing she’s wanted. How she’s having such a hard time choosing.

I am definitely making this harder on her. I know that. I do have my own opinions about where I’d like to live and I’ve always kind of dreamed what that first house might look like when we got the money. Upstairs or downstairs? Dibs on which room? Where would you like your bed? Can you please mow the lawn today sweetie? Have you unpacked everything yet? Will you park the cars in the garage — I think there’s hail coming. Will you take the trash? Will you tend the garden? Will you take the dog out? Can you come home soon? How late will you be?

Do you want to see how big you’ve grown? I can mark it on the wall.

I know some of that already happened. Not the exact same but it happened. I guess maybe ive been idolizing that life in my head so much it’s strange that I now get to watch it play out…but it isn’t really how I wanted it either right?

I’m not a child anymore.

Im not going to live in this house for more than a year — maybe some months in between out of college? This is not going to be my home like it is theirs. Im not part of this like I dreamed about.

And isn’t it true? Why would it ever matter what I thought when I didn’t have to look at it for more than a year or two? Why come along to house showings? Why be nervous about my mom loving a house I hate so deeply because I can’t see myself there with her? Why voice that complaint?

Why say anything at all?

Why worry? If she loves it? If it’s her dream and it just doesn’t include you for long? You should just keep your mouth shut because of how much you’re hurting her how much you know it’s painful to hear you be excited about a house that isn’t even going to be yours — she knows she knows it.

Now you know it.

But GOD it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad. It’s so hard to know now. The reality is so painful you’d rather just stay here. And isn’t that awful? Aren’t you just awful to wish for your loving mother to stay here and rot with you because you can’t handle her being happy without you?

But it feels like rotting already.

#ahobit rant

[saltedsnails]

This is a personal piece which has not been done here before. I’d like to highlight that this deals with the recent S9V8 episode of RWBY. Themes that include suicide, imposter syndrome, savior/hero complex, and depression are present.

I’m just gonna say, at this point in my life, Ruby’s choice is relatable to me. No, I am not happy or ecstatic that this is happening in any regard whatsoever. However, it is relatable to me at this moment in time.

I’m in my 20s compared to her, what, 17 or 18 self? I’ve been spiraling these past few months with a lot of different things. My career, my sense of self and worth, my need to make sure everything is okay ‘because if I don’t nobody else will’. Frankly, these past few days I’ve wanted to be someone, something else just like Ruby has had dangling in front of her. It’s fucking lonely, especially as an over thinker who always has their mistakes and cringe-worthy moments in the back of their head. In fact, talking to someone on my healthcare team this week, I said “I wish anyone other than me could take my place. They’d be able to handle being here. I wish I wasn’t me.”

It hurts because Ruby, when I was 13 when this started, was my little light. My family unit was fractured, in a new place after moving from a place I considered my safe haven, with no friends. She was hopeful and bright, maybe a little airheaded and dumb and optimism shining out of her ass, but I needed that. I took on a lot of emotional legwork that I thought I needed to do because people relied on me during that time, mostly in regards to my parents and their happiness. It was a choice, yes, but a choice for my own survival because my survival depended on pleasing them. I don’t tend to get emotional over RWBY anymore because of well, a list of things too long to mention, but seeing Ruby like this did something to my 13-year-old self. It did something to my 20-something self too. The imposter syndrome, hero/savior complex, the inadvertent shouldering because over time everyone expected you to be the one that fixes everything because you’re “gifted and talented”.

And for me, I’m sick of it. Every day I have to deal with this ball of iron in my stomach and a scream so full of curses that you might as well call me Pandora’s Box. Seeing Ruby there, with no light in her eyes, kind of broke me. Because she’s what my little self needed. And Ruby is broken and full of pain, just like what little me needed Ruby to not be. It’s like a reflection and yes. I know that Ruby has been selfish and puts herself in the middle of things. I know. I know she’s brash and arrogant and things are oh so constantly about her, but you know what, right now I can’t seem to care. She’s 13-year-old-me staring right back at me, and wondering how the fuck we got here. All my hopes and dreams and wanting better for the future smashed to bits and pieces and willingly wanting out. I want to curl her up in my arms and simply let her exist. Is the writing execution of the scene “perfect”? It’s debatable to many. But to me, I’m taking this to mourn that even my hero and inspiration for the future can be weak, too. She’s not the young, naïve heroine that my teenage self needed. She’s like me, shouldering a lot that I put myself into in the hopes for a better future. I hope that Ruby’s story in this instance is treated with consideration going forward, but I am apprehensive. Both of “us” (13 and 20-something me) will be on the sidelines to see it. We can only hope that this, moving forward, will be treated with respect and dignity.

I don’t know if I can write any more of this. I’ll leave this here. If I get back to it, I’ll add another part.

Please take care of each other.

- 🐌

#snail speaks #rwby #rwde #**listen; I have not been alright in a few months. more so than usual. #**seeing Ruby’s eyes just… dead. that was me like 3 days ago. #**and no I’m not joking about that either. #**getting in touch with your inner child and teen is a BITCH. #**am I holding my breath about what will happen to her being in good faith? no. #**if it isn’t I’ll be writing a post more than likely

[sailtomarina]

Nobody can know

Hmm, does this have potential for something more? Perhaps a more extended one-shot, or short chapters? LMK.

With a giggle and a flick of her gown, they slipped inside the doorway and shut the sound of the party behind them. Eager hands clutched at the robes parted at his neck, lips reached to devour one another. Carefully pinned curls tumbled down as a hand delved into them.

Roughly half a year had passed since the start of their relationship, and no one was the wiser. Heated glances across meeting rooms preceded late nights on desktops long past everyone else headed home for the evening. Theirs was a coupling of mutual satisfaction—nothing more.

Yet the timing of their rendezvous increased in frequency, and their locations varied, ranging to riskier locales. Weekly impulses turned into daily shags at the office, in the stairwell, in an overnight room at the Leaky Cauldron, and now in the private sitting room of the Macmillan Estate during another one of the Ministry’s galas.

Draco didn’t waste a second charming the handle locked before pinning her against a lovely plum velvet chaise he thought perfectly paired Hermione’s turquoise dress.

“Silencio maxi—“

He knocked her wand down and interrupted the incantation with a searing kiss.

“I didn’t silence the room on purpose, Granger.”

She was so cute when she wrinkled her nose like that.

“But how—“ Once again, her words stuttered to a halt then transformed into whimpers as he parted the high slit of her dress and bent to kiss her thigh.

“You just…need to keep quiet. Can you be a good girl and do that?”

She nodded frantically as he inched his lips upward. Over the many weeks of their dalliance, Hermione had learned the thrill of forbidden fruit. Though she was one to usually exercise caution in every aspect of her life, somehow Draco brought out a side of Hermione she didn’t even know existed. The idea of someone catching them in the act both terrified and excited her.

Several agonizing, muffled cries later, they rearranged their outfits. As she began to cast charms on her hair and neck where prominent bruised kisses marred it, he once again interrupted her.

“Leave it. I like your hair down better.”

“Draco, it’ll be immediately obvious what we’ve been doing if I don’t at least glamour my skin.”

“What if I don’t want us to be a secret anymore?”

She froze. Us. It was one thing to privately entertain the fantasy of an open relationship, but to go so far as to suggest it, especially in such a public place? 

“What happened to this just being for fun?”

“Don’t counter my question with another question,” he shot back just as quickly.

“You never once indicated before that you wanted more. Quite the opposite, in fact. You made it explicitly clear that nobody could know, not our friends, not our family, and certainly not the entire public outside those doors.” Her voice rose in pitch along with her confusion.

“Well I’m telling you right now that I want more. I fucked up, Granger. I’m sure you noticed that I can’t go a day now without seeing you, touching you. It pisses me off that I can’t escort you to these functions, or take you home, much less bring you breakfast in bed. I went and fell for you and now like the selfish arse that I am, I want everyone to know.”

His eyes, open and unwavering, gazed into hers as his hands cradled her face, begging silently for a response to his confession. How could she deny what she had secretly craved almost from the beginning?

“Alright—”

His face lightened in triumph.

“—but I have stipulations.”

He chuckled. “Of course you do.”

“I will agree to an equal amount of time since we started all this for you to woo me. That’s six months of no sex. You will romance the pants off of me, and I mean that literally. After that time, we will re-evaluate. And I will glamour my neck before we walk out these doors.”

He lifted her fingers up for a kiss, as soft and gentle as he wasn’t just moments earlier. “Deal. But you leave your hair down.”

A muttered spell later, her skin was as blemish-free as it was at the start of the evening. With one hand, he unlocked the door before offering her his arm, which she didn’t hesitate to take for the very first time as they stepped back into the rush of sound and lights. In his other hand, he tucked turquoise lace matching her gown into his pocket. She could get them back in six months.

#dramione prompt #dramione #draco malfoy x hermione granger #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter flashfic

[just-a-tiny-goldfish]

Sea glass (ao3)

Why cant I italicize on here- that’s illegal- I need the ✨flare✨

M3 was the one who made me think about this actually

“There is a whole city, a whole fucking city- and you decide that the beach? Is where you want to go?”

“I don’t know why you’re complaining so much. You used to love the beach”

For the life of you, you can’t remember why. It’s not like the beach has changed much since you’ve been gone- and whatever appeal a younger pair of eyes had found you can’t seem to find anymore. A feeling you’ve gotten used to.

“If you haven’t gotten the memo vieja” last word punctuated with a little too much venom. Too much for her to handle it seems, she turns from you. “Things change”

“Hmm” off handed, an unbothered response to being properly bothered.

“Fuck me” it’s not loud, low enough to almost be whispered, but Julia still catches it. Has her inching closer. Too attentive? Or just newer mods on an aging model? You’ve stumbled just barely caught your balance, your stupid heels keep sinking into the hot sand. If you can call it that- too much trash littered on top, wouldn’t have minded as much if it was just sand touching your skin, but this place is more junkyard than beach. Los diablos beaches are not known for their beauty.

You grimace in disgust, wiggle your foot in the shoe, try to adjust it without having to risk getting your hands anywhere near the ground.

“That’s what you get for wearing heels to the beach” she’s smiling, of course she’s amused at your shortcomings.

“Vete ah la verga” snap out bite-you’re pissed, it’s not like you planned to go to the beach- does she really think you wouldn’t have been prepared otherwise?

“Relájate Oro, estoy jugando”

You wish you could wipe that smug smile off her face. See if she still wants to play after.

Don’t hide the eye roll, emphasize your displeasure with the growl that leaves you at the realization you have to reach down and ajust the stupid strap if you want to be able to keep your shoe on.

Great.

Crouching down you realize you’ve snapped a buckle. Because of course you did , won’t be able to wear these out again. It’s fine. That’s not what bothers you, too many shoes for it to really be an issue, it’s the fact that now you’re going to have to be extra careful not to end up barefoot. An annoyance that could have been avoided today. Counting Julia. That’s two annoyances that could have been avoided today.

“You want me to carry you” still grinning, still having too much fun.

“Fuck off”

Snapping back to the ground and-wait. The suns light catches-and what is that? You don’t think before your quick hands are in the sand, digging for another shot of light, and finally, finally, you find it- the mini lighthouse, sea glass.

And fuck me they look like jewels. Free little jewels just sitting there for the taking. Emerald green, amethyst purple, sapphire blue, less shiny, more dull in a way that leaves them looking like gumdrops. Sweet little treats you hadn’t expected. You don’t really process what’s happened until a loud laugh snaps your attention away from your excavation, to your shame it also has you falling back on your ass. So much for avoiding the ground. Shoes and pants are both ruined now. It doesn't upset you that much, like the shoes, pants are also an overabundance in your wardrobe. No attachment here. What does upset you is your toppled over pink Chanel purse- your little treasures scattered all over the sand. At least you still had the few stashed in your Jean pockets. When did you put those there? The thought has you scrunching your face in distaste-yeah, these pants are definitely ruined.

Ortega is still laughing but she’s crouched next to you now, careful to avoid the sand. She cares about her fancy clothes.

“What happened to changing?”

“What?”

“You used to fill my purse up with all kinds of stuff”

a smile is still on her face, but it’s much sadder than any she’s shown off today.

“I remember the first time I found a snai-“ cut her off, fast. Heard this story one too many times before. Your defense is instantaneous, said it one too many times before . Such an old argument, the heat you used to feel has long since cooled.

“I didn’t know there was something living in there! ”

A real laugh “still it was nasty! And I really liked that bag, but there was slime all over the insides, it took me day-“

“It took me days! Before I realized what you’d done! The interior was all ruined!” Word for word- you’ve got her script down, your mocking higher pitched than she could ever get her own voice. This is where she would point that out, I don’t sound like that! False anger, finish it with a barb tu eres la que que tiene la voz de un pinche ratón!

But She doesn't. She doesn’t say anything after. Smile you hadn’t realized had even formed on your face is falling, unnerved enough to glance at her. She’s not supposed to go off script.

She’s palming the colorful glass at your side. Voice softer than you like “ I checked it regularly after that.” Eye contact far too serious, far too tender has you looking down at your own hands. Her own venom you can’t stomach like you used too. There’s sand tucked in your short nails- nothing long, nothing sharp, she caught you by surprise today. Just short and blunt, not even a clear coat, dull.

“You know, I kept a lot of the things you put in them. I mean, I threw a lot of it out too. A lot of it… it looked the same, another leaf just like any of the other-“

“It wasn’t” now that definitely came out defensive.

Do you think my bags a trash can or something? Do you know how much they’re worth?

Her words come back to you harsh- she had been joking when she said them back then. Can’t remember the context-you just remember she thought it was funny. You didn’t though.

It hurt.

You wanna scoff at that. Trash. That’s all it ever was and that’s all she ever called it then. When had it transformed into anything else? What’s the use with the sentimentals now?

Shake your head, try to clear it-no need to sugar coat it anymore. You know better now. Can afford better now.

There’s a little rise of red on your nail, absent minded and dug too hard. There’s no sand left at least. Squeeze it and watch the way it pearls up, but doesn't drip.

You’re still feeling defensive. But you don’t know why. Just trash. It was just trash. Why do you feel a need to come to the rescue of a more naive you?

“They weren’t the same”

It makes you sad to say that; and you don’t know why. You don’t know why you feel like your throats got iron in it now. Don’t know why that’s got your lips pursing and eyes blurring enough that it’s making you glare too hard at your hands. She never understood that. Dig your nail into the red pearl and make it drip.

“I know that now” confident is the only way to describe her answer.

You don't believe her.

You don’t freak out at the hand she places on yours. Small victories and all that. You let her pull you up from the sand. Let her pick up your little purse but stop her when she goes back down. Picking up the gumdrop glass.

“It’s fine”

She’s surprised “I don’t min-“

“I do though. I mind. I’ll get my purse dirty” nevermind you had handfuls of those gems in it earlier “it’ll ruin the interior-I’ll never get it clean” smile, no bite.

“Do you know how much this is worth?”

She hesitates. Hand still firmly wrapped around a couple of small dull shards. “Are you sure? I can carry it for you! You don-“

You take your foot- sweep it over the sand. Stop her protest before they can really pick up speed, cover the rest of the colorful glass up.She finally lets go of the few she held. Another sweep and those are gone too.

“No tuviste que hacer eso…”

You shrug, “hurry up, it’s getting late” you don’t wait for her before you start walking, but you do take her offered arm when she catches up.

It’s dark by the time you make it back to her bike. Your grateful for the lower temperature. Long sleeves protect you from the sun, and from stares but their suffocating.

“I wished I kept them all”

Confused, you wait for her to continue.

“The leaves, the rocks, the colorful wrappers, maldita sea, i even wished I kept that stupid snail” a chuckle escapes her, too forced to be taken jovily. “After…after heartbreak” it’s dark enough now that you feel safe looking at her “I remember all the things I had thrown out- and, and that made me so sad” her voice is cracking and your not sure what to do “and I think the worst thing was” she’s holding herself, both of you having stopped walking for a while now. “Some days I would be fine. I would be happy. And then I would reach into my pocket and there-“ she’s the one avoiding your gaze now. You’re thankful. “I would pull out a dirty rock” the laugh is slightly wet. Should you comfort her? How? Do you even want to? “But the leaves and wrappers were the worst. I would hate it” she’s looking at you and shit- yeah ? Sure , she’s not crying but her eyes are glossy. Your turn to turn away, too uncomfortable. “I could at least keep the stupid rocks but the leaves? The wrappers? They were so delicate” hand going up to aggressively wipe at her nose “I couldn’t stand it! T-to see them all crushed up. I felt so guilty about throwing them away. And that’s when I would remember all the other times I had just thrown away- mierda haha” oh

Oh

Fuck me

She’s laughing. She’s laughing hard. And you have no clue what to do. So you join in- mimic and maybe that’ll be the right move. But your laugh is forced and awkward, so so awkward- even to your own ears. Not used to this. It’s got her looking up at you from where she’s bent over hand on her knees. You're relieved to take note of the dry cheeks even if her eyes are a little redder than normal. You continue laughing. And by some miracle maybe that was the right thing to do because a real smile is breaking out on her face followed by a less harsh laugh.

Whatever made you do it-your not sure. Habit maybe. But laughing fit over, she waits for your hands on her bike. Hesitate, before you wrap your arms around her. Your jeans are still full of glass. She hadn’t seen you stash away earlier. You’d forgotten about it until now, sitting on the bike it’s pushed up against you. It’s uncomfortable. It’s only rational when you bring your arms around. You drop a few into her leather jacket-let it be her burden to carry.

Just so it’s not weighing you down. She’s stronger anyways.

#Orellia becerra #Julia Ortega #chargestep #I prefer ao3 only cause I can SEE THE ITALICIZED WORDS! #WHY CANT I HAVE THAT HERE???? #this one can go up here cause it’s not ✨dirty✨ #fanfic

[vesperadreamer]

The Siren Pt. 3

You stared at Siren, the books you’ve read have never been accurate and you knew that now. What exactly was a siren? What sort of creature are they and what were they capable of? “Siren? What is a siren exactly? Our books are obviously outdated and full of incorrect information.” Siren rushed you with a gleaming smile on her face, causing you to flinch away as you remembered the night she raped you. “Oh we sirens are a wondrous creation! Well, I use creation lightly since we are aquatic demons meant to lure people to their death while devouring their essence. But I assume you want something lighter first.”

“We sirens live either in the coral forests or in coves together and when we travel it is normally alone and rarely with a group. When we have a partner, we always keep them close by as our partners always travel with us.” You wanted to bring up a question but Siren put a finger to your lips, “I’m talking about aquatic partners, Land partners are required to stay safe and stay still in our coves. We also mark our mates by biting down hard to draw blood, this in turn allows the mark to scar and warn off others that might try to initiate with our mates. Mermaids and other sirens are quite respectful of the mate mark so I won’t have to worry about my sisters.”

You gave a nod and Siren gave you a gesture to have you ask another question. “How do sirens normally get mates?” Siren began to laugh at that question, “Oh trust me, that question has a horrifying answer, my dear pearl. For aquatic mates, its while we’re gathered together. For land mates, its the suicidal, those that can’t handle their current life anymore, those that actually need love and care, those with nothing left to live for. They often throw themselves into the ocean only to be taken in by us or a mermaid.” You went pale, all that information meant that you just got really unlucky on that moonlit night.

Siren pulled you in for a hug and kissed your forehead, “I won’t harm you, but I also won’t tolerate you being uppity. I’ll be gentle and respectful of your consent from here on out as long as you don’t try to or think of leaving.” You gave a nod, you were certain that was true, that as long as things were left in the past that you'd be happy. You listened to Siren’s heartbeat for a bit, letting yourself take in all the information you had been given. It was different, extremely different. They weren’t birds but instead an aquatic demon that preys on human flesh and takes in those with nothing left. What a fucked up species.

“We can refresh the air in your lungs by taking it inside us and making it much more fresh. Many of us extend our lives and become more powerful by devouring the essence of those we hunt.” Okay, you were absolutely certain with no room for doubt that she was a demon. “We devour their strength, their life, their soul. To be more exact, we have to extract it while they’re under our song and within arm’s reach. It is a long and slow process so we often don’t take everything and just leave them mildly dead and either devour them or let the sharks have them.” You were feeling a lot more thankful that she only watched you when you were tranced.

“I think thats enough talking about what I am, at least for now. Our species is magical and horrific to the human mind, so you should take some time to process the information. I’m more than willing to give you some time alone if you need it.” You shook your head and wrapped your arms around Siren, you didn’t want her to leave you alone right now. You felt her run her fingers through your hair, it was a calming feeling she was giving you. It might not be nighttime but you felt it would be good to close your eyes and rest, you’d have processed it all once you were awake again.

You awoke to find Siren gone and a pile of kelp wrapped fish, why did she leave you alone? You  shifted over to look into the water and saw some lights in the depths, what were those? It was quite possible that they were just some fish that lit up in the dark, you haven’t been awake at night to tell since your first meeting. Fuck it. You dove into the water and began to swim down until you noticed the lights stopped moving, why did they stop? You watch as the lights begin to gather together while one set raced towards you, wait what? You were grabbed and thrown out of the water, pinned down by Siren.

“What were those lights?” You know Siren was currently lit up with her bioluminescence, but what about the other lights? “Those are my sisters, we use our glow to communicate to each other silently, I might as well introduce you…” You watch as she gets off you and dives back into the water for a moment before watching as many more join her in surfacing, all with different bioluminescent patterns that danced along their bodies. It was quite the lightshow. “My pearl, it seems that we’ll be joined by my sisters tonight, tomorrow morning we’ll be travelling together as a cove.” You looked at Siren with wide eyes, what was going on?

One of the sirens swam over to your spot and looked over to you before looking at Siren, “Uhh, so I was asked to pass along a message that I know you aren’t going to like.” There was the loudest sigh from Siren you’d ever heard, you swore she knew the message and who it was from. The siren whispered it into Siren’s ear and you swore she was going to kill her sister. “She fucking knows she can’t have me, I’ve made that clear. No matter how much that succubus tries, the answer is no.” Well now you wanted to learn more, it seemed there was much more to the world than is truly known.

“Whats a succubus?” Siren glared at you and you almost flinched away, it seemed like she didn’t like the creature. “A succubus is a sex demon, they’re our actual cousins unlike the mermaids. Succubi seduce and charm their victims and use sex to drain essence, they’re extremely unfaithful and can’t be trusted.” You saw the other siren nod, it seemed there was a one-sided dislike from the sirens against succubi. “Anyway… Get some more rest, you’re going to like whats coming up soon.” You watched as the lone siren jumped back into the water and over to a free spot, you had no clue what was going on but you’d probably find out soon.

You woke up in a daze and rubbed your face, the last thing you remembered was the sirens singing in unison. Fucking hells, they sung you to sleep. You slowly got up and stretched out your limbs, you were way too fucking stiff having slept for so long. “Its time to go, my pearl.” You looked around and noticed Siren in the waters already, they’d probably wake you faster so you crawled into the water to submerge. Fuck the waters were cold this early in the morning, you looked around as you held onto Siren and saw a few other humans, though the rest seemed to be singles or pure siren couples.

You honestly wished you could ask questions right now, but its not like you could make yourself glow to communicate. Travel within the sea was so much more different this time around, the cove actually jumped out of the water every now and then and kept closer to the surface. You could probably guess that it was mostly used to see what was around them on the surface above the water. The cove eventually stopped to gather on an outcropping of rocks which allowed you to finally have a chance to ask more questions, to learn more about Siren and her culture and people.

“How do you glow exactly?” Siren smiled, placing you on her lap, “That glow of ours is the mana flowing through our bodies, it only really glows when we have some focus on it’s circulation.” Siren reached out a hand and a pillar of water shot up from the sea before falling back down. “Our mana also allows us to cast magic and somewhat control the sea around us, but our drawback is its weaker when we don’t sing.” You gave a slow nod, that made sense, “Where exactly are we going that requires a cove?” You heard some giggling from the other sirens but brushed it off. “We are going to the underwater city, specifically the palace. We have a bi-annual social gathering where some make mates, and others make connections.”

You decided to socialise with the others within the ‘cove’ learning about the many names a siren has, there was their social name, the name given by their mate, their birth name, and their aliases. You could guess Siren was an alias at this rate. The humans apparently didn’t enjoy their previous lives and have actually found their current lives so much easier. You also learned that some of the misinformation about sirens is written by sirens and left around for humans to find, that explains all the misinformation. It was mildly amusing to learn that Siren also participated in this dickish ritual.

One of the sirens pointed out a large boat, shit, you knew what was coming up. “My pearl, stay close to me.” You gripped onto her tightly as the entire cove dove into the water to swim up to the boat. Their song and magic began to fill the air as they got closer and you got to see the horrors of their magic in action, you watched as some of the pirates seemed to walk and throw themselves off the ship. Then the true horror began, you watched as some of the sirens tore their victims apart, others seemed to be extracting something as they held onto their victim. 

Then there was Siren, you were currently treading water as you watched her provide a front row seat to the process of draining a person’s essence. Siren was holding the pirate with one hand while their essence was coalescing into an orb in the other, you even watched as you saw their life slowly draining from their eyes. Once she had drained enough, she bit into their throat and devoured the essence orb along with their flesh. You remembered why people should fear sirens, you knew why everyone should fear going near a siren’s mate because this was their fate should they ever be unfortunate enough.

“Sorry you had to see that, my dear pearl.” Siren’s voice snapped you out of your horror shock, you looked around and saw that not only was she different but so were the others. “I should have probably also warned you that by devouring the essence of others, we can heal ourselves and any old wounds into flawless beauty.” You looked wide eyed at the notion that they could just remove scars and possibly regrow limbs just from devouring a person’s essence. If all demons were like this, it made sense that demons could only be fought on equal terms by so called heroes.

The cove continued onwards to their destination before taking refuge in a coral forest around sunset. These coral forests were supposedly the homes of many sirens and allowed them proper rest. Siren pulled you into a small alcove within the forest and laid you down on a soft cushiony thing, you wondered what it was. Siren joined you and you watched as she began to slowly glow, the cushion closing in around you both as it left you in a darkness only illuminated by Siren. Whats more is you could actually breathe for once, “This is basically a forest bed, it reacts to our mana and gives us privacy. Rest my pearl, we still have tomorrow.” You gave a nod and slowly drifted off to sleep in Siren’s arms.

#sa mention #kidnapping cw #non con #tw death #cannibal tw #siren girl #siren #cannibalistic