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#many many feelings
thesquidkid · 29 days ago
Make it purr (3x09 coda)
It will get a title later so I can post in on AO3. This little fic is coincidentally an answer to this ask that @bisexualalienblast got, and loosely based on prompts that @ober-affen-geil gave on discord (thanks again Riley! ❤️)
Enjoy this little missing scene between Michael and Sanders 😁
Edit: it has a title! And you can read it on ao3: Make it purr
Michael was working on Mrs Santor’s car, the sun bright and hot in the sky on this afternoon, making him sweat. But he wasn’t paying much attention to it, repeating the movements he knew well by now, his mind focused on something else, someone else.
He didn’t hear the footsteps coming behind him, not the man standing by his side, with his arms crossed over his chest, until he cleared his throat, making Michael jump.
“Jesus,” Michael said, waving the wrench he was holding in his hands and pointing it to Sanders, “no one ever told you not to sneak on people, old man?”
Sanders chuckled at him, “I’m paying you to fix cars, kid, not to unscrew batteries.” he said pointing to the open hood of the car.
Michael looked down, and saw that indeed, by repeating known movements, he screwed a new battery in, but proceeded to unscrew it afterwards. He looked back at Sanders and took a step back from the car, “Well, I was distracted, won’t happen again,” he said, instinctively.
Sanders waved him off with his hand, and walked towards the main house, indicating with his head for Michael to follow him. “Yeah right, seems to happen a lot these days,” Sanders said walking away.
Michael was frozen next to his car, and when Sanders’ words finally reached his brain, he nearly ran to his level, “What are you talking about?” he asked, eyebrows frowned in confusion.
Sanders breathed out a laugh and turned to look at Michael, “Kid, I told you, I ain’t blind.” he said, stopping to open the door once they reached the house. The two men headed for the worn out sofa, Michael using his powers to get two beers from the fridge and open them. After taking a sip of his bottle, Sanders spoke up again, “You finally figured you and your boy are a thing?”
Michael stared at Sanders, barely stopping the smile forming on his lips. Sanders closed his eye at him, something he guessed was meant to be a wink, but didn’t quite land that way.
“Why - why would you think that?” Michael replied, stuttering and trying to hide the small blush on his cheeks. He and Alex had only kissed the night before, and he hadn’t seen Sanders since. They hadn’t really talked that much, but it was still more than what they were used to. Namely, they agreed that this relationship would be a new one, that the effort they had both done individually wouldn’t be for nothing, and that they would take things slow. Starting by an in-public date.
Sanders looked at him with one eyebrow raised, “You gonna tell me that I’m wrong?” he asked, rhetorically, but Michael chuckled and shook his head. There was no point denying it after all.
“That’s what I thought,” Sanders said, taking a sip of his beer, “and for how I figured it out? Kid, you got that same look on your face you had before.”
At Michael’s confused look, he continued. “When you thought you could sneak in n’ out of this junkyard to hook up with your boy without me noticing.”
Michael took a second to process. He sat further into the sofa, remembering all the times he and Alex had been in the junkyard, all the times he drove off with Alex to see the desert. “You knew?” Michael asked, turning to Sanders with his eyes wide open, “all this time, you knew and you never said anything.”
“Not my place,” Sanders shrugged, as if it was that simple.
“Not your - seriously?” Michael laughed out, not believing it, “so few days ago, when I talked about Alex as a friend and you asked if we were a thing, what was that?” he asked, voice clearly teasing, glad that Sanders had understood that he needed space to figure things out with Alex.
“I got fed up with your bullshit,” he answered, making Michael huff, somewhat agreeing. “So you’re gonna cook him dinner? Or did you forget you had manners?”
Michael laughed at that, his head falling back, “Not today, uh, we have a date planned for tomorrow, and uh, we’re taking things slow?” he said hesitantly, cursing himself for his lack of confidence.
Either Sanders didn’t notice Michael’s voice going higher in the end, or if he didn’t didn’t comment on it. “A date uh,” he pointed out instead, “that’s new.”
“Yeah, yeah” Michael breathed out, with a chuckle, “usually it was junk food at the back of my truck, but not anymore!” He was determined to not fall back into their old habits. Not that he didn’t want them to hang out on the bed of his truck, maybe even make out, but he also wanted them to do new things too, like public dates, movies, proper dinners, and all the things they haven’t done yet.
Michael brought the beer bottle to his lips, feeling Sanders looking at him, silently.
“We, uh, don’t have the best history when it comes to dating,” he started to say, not quite looking at Sanders, “and I don’t want to mess it up, you know? But I don’t really know how - if - we can have this?”
Michael breathed out a shaky breath, sinking deeper in the couch. He didn’t really expect Sanders to give him relationship advice, but he needed to express his doubts about the future. He didn’t have any doubts about his feelings for Alex, but historically, they didn’t always express themselves, and no matter how much he wanted this relationship, craved it even, there was still a little voice, reminding him of all the hurt.
“I ain’t the person to give you relationship advice, kid,” Sanders said, making Michael chuckle and shake his head with a smile. “But I do know how to make machines work.”
At this, Michael turned his head, his eyes meeting Sanders’, a look of confusion on his face. “You don't walk away from a broken engine. You find a way to make it purr again."
On that note, Sanders stood up, leaving Michael sitting on the couch, replaying those words in his mind. He made his way to the door, opened it, “And speaking of engines, I ain’t paying you for nothing!” he shouted back inside, before closing the door behind him.
Eventually, Michael went back to work on Mrs Santor’s car, Sanders’ words never leaving his mind. After he finished work, he said his goodbye to Sanders and drove off to Alex’s house, ready to pick him up for their date.
Their date didn’t quite go as planned, but he wouldn’t change it - well maybe he’d change the part where Alex nearly died or could’ve ended up with a melted brain.
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qqueenofhades · 4 months ago
Your majesty, may I humbly inquire if/how you would imagine a reunion of Ivan and Fedyor after the events of season 1?
Also on AO3.
Ivan wakes up on the far side of the Shadow Fold with very little memory of how he arrived there. He lies flat on his back beneath the cold white sun, which drills into his head like a blade, and at last, after a great effort, he vaguely recalls sunlight of another sort, wild and fey, bursting from Alina Starkov’s hands on the deck of the skiff as everything else went to hell. He remembers the Zemeni brat getting a lucky jump on him and shoving him over the rail, and then falling. Swirling, hungry shadows, shrieking volcra, running with his arms flung over his head, knowing only that he wasn’t dying like this, that he had to survive. In that, at least, he has succeeded. His kefta is torn and filthy, his lips are cracked and bloody, his face is striped with an ugly wound that might scar, he reeks of monstrous ichor, and he may or may not have just witnessed the entire city of Novokribirsk being scoured clean off the map, but Ivan Kaminsky is alive.
After a while he sits up, retching and forcing down the reel of dizziness. He squats on his haunches and tries to focus enough to heal his own wounds. Healers and Heartrenders can learn each other’s craft, but Ivan got complacent with Fedyor always around to do it for him, safe in the luxurious privacy of their bedroom at the Little Palace after another hard campaign. As the general’s right-hand man, he is more often on the front lines, and it became an enjoyably erotic exercise for Fedyor to tenderly patch him up, even if the Second Army Healers had already seen to most of it. I do not mend things, Ivan thinks, looking at the rough results of his efforts. I break them.
With a groan, Ivan forces himself all the way to his feet, looks down at his hand, and discovers that his amplifier is still there, the bear claw that was a valued gift from General Kirigan. No, not Kirigan – there was something else about who Aleksander really is, something Ivan needs to remember, but he can’t. But the bear claw was how he took down all those diplomats at once, something that doesn’t bother him, exactly, but what he still needs to reckon with. So, in his usual tidy, methodical fashion, he does so. They were representatives of cruel, greedy, incompetent governments who all want the Grisha dead or exploited, and while they might have been unarmed civilians, how many unarmed Ravkan children have died cowering in the dark because of their soldiers? As for Novokribirsk –
Ivan closes his eyes hard. He knows that one is harder to explain away, but at the end, he still can see the cold, merciless logic of it. West Ravka was a nest of traitors, and General Zlatan wanted every single person on that skiff dead. There is a certain sordid sense, there always has been, in inflicting one strategically planned atrocity to ensure the compliance of the rest. He knows that Fedyor will be upset. He has a soft heart, and having grown up near Kribirsk, he will have heard stories of its Western Ravkan counterpart and the separated families who lived there, dreamed of visiting when the Fold was banished. That –
Fedyor. Ivan freezes.
He doesn’t know where Fedyor is.
He doesn’t know if Fedyor is alive.
Frantically, he searches out through the network of the world, the meshed echo of heartbeats and living creatures that has always been a Heartrender’s particular soundscape, the extra dimension of humanity that he learned to experience as a child long before he had a name for it. Of course he can’t find Fedyor if he isn’t relatively nearby, but Ivan has always believed that no distance, no matter how great, could truly separate them for long. He just needs to start in one direction and work it down. He can’t stop. In all likelihood, Kirigan is dead now. Someone needs to muster the Grisha and rally them against the Fjerdans, the Shu Han, the Kerch, everyone else who will be swooping in to take advantage of Ravka’s stunning weakness. No more Black General. No one to keep them all safe.
Cold panic twists into Ivan’s heart like a railroad nail. It’s not that he didn’t know that Aleksander has – had – that deep ruthless streak, but he understood it. He just wanted to keep safe what he loved, even if it has twisted and calcified into something else, something still darker. Ivan Kaminsky loves two things: Ravka and Fedyor. He doesn’t need anything else. And he too will burn the world down if it means keeping them safe. If that makes him the new Black General, though he would not presume, so be it. Someone needs to do the dirty work.
Ivan grits his teeth, and ventures into the unknown.
It takes a few weeks, searching painfully and slowly down the coast, pelted with wild rumors of Novokribirsk’s horrifying fate and what awaits them now, trying to shut his ears to all of it, until he finally makes it to Os Kervo, on the shores of the True Sea. There is a ship with the Grisha banner in port, and as he gets closer, Ivan knows with a searing jolt that this is it, Fedyor is here somewhere, he is here. He follows heartbeats, stumbling through the streets and pushing people aside, ignoring their dirty looks and their curses. Some of them halt when they catch sight of the black embroidery still faintly visible on his filthy kefta, but others don’t look twice. Until he staggers down to the dock, and –
There he is. It drives the scanty breath out of Ivan’s lungs at a blow. He could stand here forever, looking and looking. But eventually, in a whisper, he has to speak.
Fedyor whirls around and stares. He looks like a man who can’t believe his own eyes, who has not even allowed himself to think about the worst, has shut himself down to avoid the prospect. He looks older and colder and harder than Ivan’s sweet Fedya, the man he left behind not the same as the one that greets him now, but it is still him. He doesn’t bother with words. He closes the distance between them in three strides, throws his arms around Ivan’s neck, and kisses him savagely.
Ivan doesn’t give a shit that they’re in public, that everyone can see them, that he himself is weak in the knees and can feel tears running down his unshaven cheeks, the taste of the salt mingling in their kiss. They sway on the spot, unwilling to let go of each other in case they evaporate, until Fedyor finally whispers, “Below. Now.”
They stumble onto the ship and into one of the tiny berths, barely large enough for Ivan to stand upright, but he doesn’t care. Fedyor strips him out of the tattered remains of his kefta and sets to work, as Ivan closes his battered eyes and lets himself sink into the sheer, unbelievable joy of his lover’s familiar touch, the restored wholeness of their two halves. But of course, the illusion that nothing has changed cannot last forever. As he smooths his fingers over the deepest of the volcra gashes, Fedyor says, “Vanya, what happened?”
Ivan stares at the low ceiling of the bunk. He doesn’t know if he can put it into words, doesn’t know if he wants Fedyor to know everything, even as he doesn’t think he can justly keep it from him. He does his best to provide a terse, clinical summary of the events on the skiff, and reaches out to grab Fedyor’s hand before confirming the truth about Novokribirsk. “It’ll be all right,” he says urgently. “As long as there’s you and me.”
Fedyor stares at him. His dark eyes look huge and terrified. “You think that’s all right?”
“No. Not exactly, I just – ” Ivan has never been the best with words, and they are once more cruelly failing him. He puts his other hand on Fedyor’s cheek, turning his face back to him. “I need you to understand that we’re at war. War, Fedya, in a way we never have been before. All the others, they hated us, but Kirigan kept them at bay. Now there’s nothing. They’re all coming for us. Novokribirsk is only the start.”
“And whose fault is it,” Fedyor asks flatly, “that that happened? If Kirigan hadn’t gone mad with trying to expand the Fold, with Alina Starkov – things were stable before! Not good, maybe, but predictable! Constant! Now this – ”
“It was a stalemate before!” Ivan crawls out of the bunk and kneels in front of Fedyor, looking up at him imploringly. “They were trying to smoke us out, wait for us to make a mistake, so they could pounce on us and tear Ravka to pieces! Fedya – look at me, Fedya, darling, Fedya, my heart. Look at me. I will keep us safe. I will keep you safe.”
Fedyor looks at him mutely, tears running down his own cheeks, catching on the dimples that Ivan has always found so irresistible (even if he does an excellent job of pretending otherwise). Finally, with no other option, Fedyor nods slowly, his hands still knotted tightly with Ivan’s. He lets Ivan hold him, and Ivan does so ferociously, wrapping him in his arms and resting his head on Fedyor’s mussed hair and swearing in the dark that he will slaughter the Sun Summoner himself if need be, whatever needs to be done to keep Fedyor Kaminsky alive and whole and happy. Nothing else matters now. Not really.
After that, Fedyor lets Ivan tend to him, and opens up a little, and says that he found Nina Zenik in, of all places, a port city in the company of a Fjerdan drüskelle. She wanted to insist, improbably, that this witch hunter had changed for the better in the course of a few weeks, but Fedyor didn’t believe it. Ivan is comforted to hear him say this, that not all of Fedyor’s old certainties have totally dissolved, that he still trusts their enemies are their enemies. The drüskelle has been shipped off to Kerch, after Nina accused him of slaving in what Fedyor thinks was a calculated ploy to keep the big blond bastard out of the hands of the Grisha. “I don’t understand, Vanya,” he says, his head on Ivan’s bare chest as they lie together in the narrow bunk, naked except for the furs piled on top. “He hurt her, he captured her, he would have killed her as soon as he remembered. Why would she defend him?”
We all defend the things we love, even when they hurt us. Ivan doesn’t say this aloud. He doesn’t want to believe any more than Fedyor does that Nina improbably found the one good apple of an otherwise bad lot. It is easier to think of the Fjerdans as a faceless mass of ice-cold holy warriors, especially since they will be licking their chops at the downfall of the Black General, their archenemy and the king of the Grisha demons. “We do stupid things for the people we think we care about,” he says instead. “And Nina is young. Impressionable. She will learn the truth soon enough.”
Fedyor doesn’t answer, his fingers tracing light circles around Ivan’s collarbone. Finally, he shifts on top of him, his mouth finding Ivan’s with something close to desperation. After they pull back from the kiss, he says, “Promise me that we won’t lose each other again, Vanya. Whatever comes next. We have to do it together. Please?”
Ivan looks at the face of this man he loves so much and so well, who needs to hear this sweet lie no matter whether it is true. And with his own heart, closed and guarded as he generally keeps it, he wants to believe it too. He does. He does. He does.
If only it could make it so. If only he could be sure.
“Promise,” he whispers. “Promise.”
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doctorjameswatson · 4 months ago
I was trying to figure out why I've instantly connected with this show and I think it comes down to two things.
One: an openly bisexual woman.
Two: I think one of the most refreshing and wonderful things about this show is that multiple women are written as people and not just as someone's wife or mother etc.
Also, it's just hilarious!
I'm going to be sad when I get to the end of the last episode of season 1.
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that-was-anticlimactic · 3 months ago
HOLD UP. so. “what do you know about love” but with zuko and sokka…….sign me UP
like... wait okay i think about this part all the time just... hear me out
sokka: i'd like to point out that we've come a good long way here, and that you're... wow really strong
zuko: i lift a lot of ice. you saved my life just now, i guess i gotta say here, my first impression was wrong
sokka: and see, you're nice!
zuko: that jump was really brave...
sokka: you're catch was quite a save
zuko: you've got some guts
sokka: you've got some... brains xD
zuko: thanks.
both: with miles and miles to go, i guess it's nice to know that i can trust you... though the question still remains... what do you know about love?
zuko: just.. be careful
both: what do you know about love?
sokka: have a little faith!
both: at least we know one thing, this trip should be interesting ! what do you know about love~
look... jo... there have been times when i've listened to music while writing others fics and have had to turn it off when frozen (and specifically this song AHHH) came on because it distracted me lol
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beatrushbeauty · 10 months ago
((If I... wrote a thing...))
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mandareeboo · 2 years ago
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dragonofyang · 2 years ago
Tel us more!!!!
More about Disciple? Or any other ancestors? I’m in a gabby mood and the zine announcement has got me fired up lol
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trashy-greyjoy · 3 years ago
Drummer doing sit ups upside down while bleeding from the gunshot wound in her abdomen she got days ago is my exact sexuality.
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hyenasbreath · 5 months ago
ACTUALLY making a separate post for lesbians of color . im so sorry the lesbian community is so dominated by white lesbians and all the movies we want to watch have blond white lesbian one and brunette white lesbian two who half the time arent even sapphic . i wish every lesbian of color a beautiful relationship with someone like you who will love you . and i wish every lesbian of color whos told they cant be lesbians because they are x race a very you are still a lesbian .
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ash-and-starlight · 2 months ago
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I had a few doodles of izumi lying around so piled them all together
Yes izumi is a sweet, shy, soft spoken kid, yes she knows how to use 27 different weapons
Some additional ramblings — her weapons are inspired by wind and fire wheels (they’re not throw weapons but let’s pretend that sokka customized them to fly just like boomerang so that he & zuko could gift their daughter the coolest weapons imaginable.) Izumi is the first firelord to go ice dodging as a coming of age ritual and got the mark of the wise (sokka is So Smug.) And I love love love the hc of Senna as zukka’s second daughter because it means that zuko is related to Yet Another Avatar like,, the comedic potential,,, he’d freak out so bad
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belligerentbagel · 3 months ago
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Originally posted by @the-aila-test​ (here), edited to add descriptions of each website and update the links. 
Native-owned businesses to buy from. Taken from the North American Indian Association of Detroit.
For text searching, some of the major categories used are: Food, beverages, clothing, accessories, jewellery, home goods, hygiene, beauty, books, sporting goods — but there are also many items that didn’t fit neatly into those categories, so try ctrl+F / cmd+F for whatever product you have in mind! - Food, beverages (coffee & tea), skincare and grooming, beauty products from a wide variety of different Native-owned brands. The closest thing to a one-stop shop you will get. - Food (maple syrup, jellies, coffee, cereal, soups), jewellery, books and stationery. - Clothing (stylish af hoodies, swimsuits, cardigans and jackets, tops, scarves, dresses), jewellery, candles, beauty and hygiene (soap, lotions, lip balms) from a variety of Native designers. - Clothing (tees, sweatshirts, crop tops, leggings, dresses), accessories (sunglasses, keychains, zipper pulls, headbands, beanies, ties, umbrellas, tote bags, pins), paper goods (stationery, books, prints, stickers, home goods and decor, sporting goods (basketballs, longboards) - Clothing (tees, hoodies), accessories (beanies, some really cool backpacks), stickers, pins, blankets, thermoses - Clothing (tops), accessories (necklaces, hats, bags) - VERY COOL leather and fur products! Drums, flutes, bells, rattles, shells. Also a selection of skulls, bones, claws, teeth, quills, feathers, and obsidian items. 
Continued below the break. - Loose beads for crafting, finished beaded products, and various other items (blankets, aprons, purses, robes, hats, wallets) - Jewellery (necklaces, earrings, bracelets) - Clothing (printed dresses, tunics, ponchos, tops, jackets) - Fabric, beads, buttons, Mehron face paint (!!!), jewellery findings, sewing notions, rhinestones, and craft tools. - Sporting goods (lacrosse sticks). - Clothing (super cool shirts, jackets, socks, hats), accessories (bracelets, backpacks, pins), home goods (lip balm, prints). Here’s a pull quote for attention, because you *need* to look at the pop culture on this site: Our mission is to teach the youth the importance of embracing culture and history while building a Native American clothing company. We use art and streetwear mixed with our culture to create one-of-a-kind designs that embrace our Native American culture and heritage. - Hygiene (liquid soap, bar soap, lotions). - Beauty (Sustainably-sourced makeup! Lipstick, lip pencils, lipgloss, eyeliner, eyeshadow). - Beauty (makeup) (07/04/2021 currently on vacation, reopening 07/12) - Beauty (lotions, salve, fragrances, lip balms), pins, stickers, limited edition hoodies. - Hygiene (body mists, shampoo, body wash, body bars, bath bombs) - Clothing and goods with the “you are on native land” slogan (hoodies, tops, hats, socks, patches, stickers, pins) - Clothing (07/04/2021 new website & currently under construction) - Clothing (tees and hoodies), prints, stickers, cut-and-sew original pieces. - Hygiene (soaps, bath bombs, body and face scrubs), beauty (lotions, mists, lip balm, fragrances), candles, incense. - Albums from musician Katherine Paul. - Books by and about Native Americans (Ojibwemowin-language books and materials for other Native languages, NA fiction and poetry, Native studies, memoirs and biographies, young adult, children’s books) - NA comic books, graphic novels, children’s books. - Jewellery (rings, necklaces, earrings, bracelets, hair sliders and hair clips), home goods (blankets), assorted accessories (bolo ties, belt buckles). - Food (Chocolates! Bars, chocolate-dipped potato chips, chocolate-dipped nuts, chocolate sauce) - Food (wild rice (a VAST selection), mixes and batters, jellies and syrups), beverages (tea, coffee), home goods and decor, jewellery. - Food: “A real food meat bar with a delicious smoky and slightly sweet flavor, made with grass-fed bison and tart-sweet cranberries.“ Nut-free, dairy-free, and gluten-free. - Beverages (coffee). - Assorted gifts (jewellery, music, paintings and prints, pins, mugs, food, watches, sculptures). Another one-stop shop representing different Native craftspeople. - Clothing (tees, hoodies, there is Star Wars), jewellery (earrings), home goods (pillows, tea towels), hygiene and beauty (soap, joint cream, candles, bath bombs, lip balm) - Leather handbags, jewellery (earrings), clothing (tees). - Shoes (mukluks, moccasins) - Jewellery (07/04/2021 currently closed, but their Facebook page (here) is seeking artists who would be interested in selling with them) - Clothing (jackets, jeans, tees, coats, vests), accessories (bandannas, hats), jewellery (cuff bracelets, earrings, pendant necklaces). They got a Vogue feature yoooo - Jewellery (beaded cuff bracelets). Featured in NYT and Elle. - Handbags (wristlets, crossbody bags, totes, bucket bags, shoulder bags), clothing (tees, bandannas, uhh also some made-upon-order fashion week runway gowns).
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bopeepwritingsheep · 10 months ago
Every time I read the “Toph is a bad example of a disabled character because of her bending.” I want to Physically leap over a table and then flip that table because NO!!!! You do not understand!!!
Toph’s bending is assistive technology!!! It’s a medical aid!!!!!
Toph’s bending allows her to full access her world the same way my mobility aids do, or my medication does. There are times when due to inaccessible surroundings that her aids are rendered harder or impossible to use. Not unlike my own greatest enemy, stairs. However, when she is fully accommodated she’s able to be just as successful and thrive just as much as an able-bodied person albeit differently. Which is the ultimate goal of assistive technology.
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