Mary Crawford’s questionable virtue
I am currently rereading Mansfield Park, as one does, and the time I don’t spend reading, I spend thinking about Mansfield Park... As one does.
Recently I came to the part where Henry Crawford told his sister about his plans to marry Fanny and one part struck me in particular:
Henry Crawford had too much sense not to feel the worth of good principles in a wife, though he was too little accustomed to serious reflection to know them by their proper name; but when he talked of her having such a steadiness and regularity of conduct, such a high notion of honour, and such an observance of decorum as might warrant any man in the fullest dependence on her faith and integrity, he expressed what was inspired by the knowledge of her being well principled and religious.
Something I took away from this passage, and please correct me if I misunderstood it completely, is that Fanny can be trusted to always behave properly. That also mean, especially, that she will always remain faithful to her husband. Henry, were he to marry Fanny, would never have to worry about her seeking comfort in another man’s arms, would never have to fear about raising another man’s child, because Fanny would rather live a cold and lonely life than to act against her own good principle.
Now, considering the time, that IS something a man should keep in mind before asking a woman to marry him. After all, once they are married, any children WILL be his, unless he can give solid proof to the contrary. Which would be either proven impotence or a very long absence around the time of conception. A /very/ long one. Paternity tests aren’t a thing yet (not that they are much use nowadays either..) and I guess unless one can give solid proof it’s best not to mention any suspicion at all, as it could do nothin but to add insult to injury. No, all a man had was trust in his wife’s character. If she cheats on him, bad luck, divorces weren’t exactly easily come by either so... Not much he could do.
So, as all these thoughts went through my head something hit me like a truck:
After a little reflection, he went on with a sort of desperate calmness. “I will tell you everything, and then have done for ever. She saw it only as folly, and that folly stamped only by exposure. The want of common discretion, of caution: his going down to Richmond for the whole time of her being at Twickenham; her putting herself in the power of a servant; it was the detection, in short—oh, Fanny! it was the detection, not the offence, which she reprobated. It was the imprudence which had brought things to extremity, and obliged her brother to give up every dearer plan in order to fly with her.”
Before I have always thought, well, that’s a new height to tactlessness, not even Edmund, blinded by love as he was, could have ignored that. Adultery isn’t exactly a topic for polite society... Not to condemn it is immoral in itself, and yeah that’s just generally not a good look but...
This is Edmund she’s telling it. She’s telling the man who wished to ask her to marry him that the ONLY bad thing about the affair was the indiscretion. Why, I guess she could’ve just straight up told him “If I had been the one doing it I would’ve made sure not to get caught” because basically, she does. A man needs to be able to trust his future wife’s good conduct and Mary, with her reaction to the affair, has proven herself to be untrustworthy. If she sees nothing wrong with Maria cheating on Rushworth... Would she consider it wrong to cheat on Edmund?
Of course, we cannot know if she would have cheated on him, had they married, but then... Personally I don’t think they’d have a very happy marriage, at least not for long and, if the right man came along... I don’t doubt that she would be discreet, but if she’d be true? And Edmund, from this moment on, cannot know either. Even a man with less rigid ideas of morality, I think, would have been appalled by her statements because her words MUST destroy any trust one could have had in her good character. A woman who openly, towards the one she claims to love no less, condones adultery is too much of a risk for any man with serious intentions, I think. Can you fully love someone and, more importantly, allow yourself to be loved in return, with everything to love and being loved encompasses, if there is no trust? I doubt it. And I don’t think I’d expect someone to if they were unable to trust me.
I don’t think Mary herself was quite aware what she had said there, that she was not only voicing her opinion on Maria&Henry, but at the same also presenting herself in the worst possible light. After all, she kinda expected Edmund to marry her regardless, that he left her then and there came as a surprise. She said all that and was still surprised! Even today, if someone said “Oh, I can’t believe they allowed their partner to catch them while cheating, that’s such an amateur move” would be a HUGE red flag when dating someone. I at least, if I ever were to date somone (haha...as if) would take that moment as a hint to shove all the breadsticks I could grab into my purse and leave. Quickly.
And now I cannot help but wonder how loose Mary’s morals really were, how far she’d go, what kind of things she might have done already (nothing too serious, obvsly, but one does wonder), what ideas she would think safe to entertain. Like, I know I’m probably late to the party, but this is the first time I noticed THAT aspect of her break-up with Edmund, how very and deeply personal it truly was, rather than just a realization that they are unsuited for each other characterwise, and now I cannot unsee it.
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What I love most about the final sequence in episode 3 is that it actually isn't Stede simply rescuing Ed. In the purgatory, he doesn't pull him up or unties the rope. In reality, Stede also doesn't touch Ed's body until his hand starts twitching and he starts fighting to stay alive - before that he just sits near and talks, and he manages to reach the last bit of life left in Ed. The vision of Stede in purgatory gives Ed hope, a promise of a future, of a home - warmth, food, intercourse (orgasm). Things he knows he'll miss. Ed chooses to live because now, the one person that understood him to his core, is there - and the scene with Izzy, where despite them not being together for who knows how long, Stede knows Ed would either watch the world burn or die trying, and he still loves Ed and chooses him. Izzy thinks he knows Ed best because they've worked together for so long and he believes (used to believe?) Stede was the worst possible thing for Blackbeard and that's the moment it hits him - he is the one that doesn't know the true Ed, he couldn't even imagine it would be so bad because his idealised version of Blackbeard didn't consider the person under the pirate. Stede met Ed few weeks earlier and already fully understand the way his brain works. He doesn't have to see Ed to know how he'll react.
And then Edward. Poor, broken Edward that believes the worst about himself and materialises it in Hornigold who in this version left the piracy and lives a peaceful, quiet life, something that Ed wishes he could have. He is deeply mentally unwell, the drugs and alcohol sure made it worse but still, Ed wants to live. Just not as Blackbeard/the Kraken. He just doesn't see a reason for it.
Mermaid Stede appears and brings in the light that was so painfully absent from Ed's life. He doesn't choose to live just for Stede, but now he knows there is at least one person that cares for him and that means, maybe - just maybe, he can learn to care for and love himself. The fact Stede stays with him underwater for as long as Ed needs to think it through and figure it out for himself - the rope unties itself, the smile that was gone so long finally appears again. The feeling of being known and the hope that he can become Ed, or Jeff, or whatever version he wants, because despite it being incredibly hard - now he isn't walking that road alone.
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