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#marita's shenanigans
maritasdump · 3 years
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ephrampettaline · 4 years
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chatzy autumn fair log with @ephrampettaline, @freddiewatts, @ianncardero, @mayaparker, and @scarlettxruby
Maya walked through the autumn festival with Hermes still by her side. Aside from that first night at carnival, things had been pretty calm. Although she was still a little on edge. But she was determined to have fun, which explained why she was already two drinks in. She had just bought another one when she spotted a chalkboard sign for a hayride. "Oh shit," she glanced down at the husky at her side, "What do you say? Hayride time?"
Ephram watched as the couple behind him in line peeled away for some reason, conferring intensely between themselves as they left the hayride area; he caught sight of Maya waiting behind them, and said, "Oh, hey! Or should I say hay?" Ephram chortled, despite the fact that this joke didn't really translate well out loud.
Maya looked up at the sound of someone calling out to her. Or at least calling out in her general direction. It took her a second to register the joke. Her brow briefly furrowed. Hermes stood by her side, watching Ephram carefully. "Oh," she said, shaking her hand and taking a step forward, "Hay as in hayride. Sorry, I've caught up."
Ephram scratched his elbow, saying, "Aaaaaah, it was corny, I don't blame you. But at least you'll probly get on this trip, though, now that those folks moseyed off for whatever. Let's hope it ain't because they know somethang that we don't, eh?"
Maya shrugged. She didn't mind corny jokes. But he was right that the homophone pun hadn't come across immediately when spoken. She took a sip of her hot toddy and nodded. "Yeah, think I will," she agreed before adding, "Assuming they let dogs on." Glancing in the direction of the couple, she shrugged, "Nah, they were 'not fighting' about something else." She put heavy air quotes around not fighting. She hadn't been eavesdropping on purpose, but voices carried in the chilly fall air. It had been kind of hard not to.
Ephram himself had a bright pink travel mug of hazelnut hot chocolate -- pay one price and it would refill itself automatically so long as you were on the fairgrounds -- and he drank deeply from it, bound and determined to get his money's worth. "Of course they'll let dogs on! In this town? They'd find themselves slapped with a discrimination suit if they din't allow animals of any and all form."
Maya had to give him that. With so many familiars about, it would be hard to refuse animals on any ride. "True," she said, "Forgot it was Soapberry for a second there."
Ephram looked at her curiously at that statement. Historically, his asking Maya any questions about herself hadn't gone well, but ... things changed, right? So he ventured, "...you been ruminating on other places to be lately?"
The furrow in Maya's brow returned. "Have I what?" she asked, genuinely not understanding the question.
Ephram gestured vaguely with his cup. "I dunno, just ... you said you forgot it was Soapberry. In the middle of the Autumn Fair's a pretty hard place to forget you're in Soapberry, is all." Considering all the Soapberry-grade shenanigans going on everywhere they looked.
Maya shook her head. While she had been thinking about returning to New York or maybe just moving somewhere else entirely, she and Ephram were hardly close enough that she would mention that. "I just lived the first twenty four years of my life in places where pets were just pets," she explained, "I'm still not quite in the Soapberry state of mind."
Ephram nodded politely. "Ah, gotcha. It's different for me. I mean I lived thirty years in the Outworld not knowin' bout magical stuff but I sucked up all this Soapberry state of affairs like a sponge in a bucket. Funny how that works."
Maya considered before replying, "Probably just depends on the person. I've never really been the soak it up like a sponge kind of person." She nodded towards the growing space between Ephram and the line in front of him. The next cart had been loaded up and trundled off, leaving Ephram at the front of the line.
Ephram obligingly moved up, wondering aloud, "Do they got more'n one cart? Or do we gotta wait until that one finishes its route and dumps them people off first? I mean I been on hayrides, but those times was always just the one cart. Small town style."
Maya wasn't sure if Ephram was really asking her or not. Hermes had followed them up and was now watching the crowd to their right. It seemed he had smelled them. "I've seen two different drivers, so they probably got two different carts," she offered, "Although it could've just been the other guy went on break."
Ruby had left the petting zoo with a pocketful of something small and fluffy. She thought it might be a chinchilla, but she wasn't sure. She was sure that it liked churros. Which she was currently feeding into the pocket of her hoodie as she moved towards the line for the hayride.
Hermes barked once in greeting. Maya's head whipped to see what he was barking at, almost spilling her drink as she did so. Every one of her muscles tensed, ready either to run or to fight. But then she spotted Ruby walking towards them. Relaxing, she smiled, "Hey Ruby."
Ephram lifted his pink cup at Ruby too in greeting. "Hey-ooo!"
Ruby looked up from feeding her pocket to wave at the others. She gave Hermes a pat on the head as she came over, offering the dog a piece of the churro if he wanted it. Her hoodie pouch wiggled, and Ruby gave it more food before it fell still again. "What kinda hayride they got goin'?" she asked, realizing there didn't seem to be many other waiting. "Not haunted is it?"
Maya tilted her head a little as she caught Ruby looking up from her pocket. Hermes wandered over, having long since decided that Ruby was a friend. He snapped up the offered churro. "I think just a regular one," Maya replied, "From what I heard tonight's more about cozy than spooky. Gotta let people calm down a little before the main event, you know?"
Ephram sipped at his hot chocolate. "Are they gonna turn it haunted after?"
Oh. Well, okay then. Don't really feel up to anythin' scary." Ruby fed a bit more churro to Hermes and to her pocket - apparently the churro kept slowly renewing itself - before frowning a bit. "What's the main event? And you think they will?" she asked as an addition to Ephram's question.
Maya found herself distracted again by Ruby's pocket. Her eyes narrowed a little, but she said nothing. Not yet at least. "Assuming you mean the main event tonight, it's a bonfire," she said instead and with a shrug she said, "And I think its shutting down for the night after that." She took another sip of her drink. Glancing down at Hermes, she mouthed, "What's she got in there?" Hermes just looked up at her, wearing a dog's smile. Maya shook her head, clearly the husky was easily bribed
Ephram hung back a little, watching Maya and her dog and Ruby and her pocket animal without much interest. He'd already spent an afternoon at the fair with Ciara and the other witch being distracted by Molly and the gitturns; it seemed like everybody was surrounding themselves with pets lately. Ephram pondered to himself if it was a feature of small-town osmosis, or some new stranger Soapberry thingamajiggy.
Freddie, having left Ollie chatting with Marita Cooper, caught sight of his husband across the fairground - big blond yeti-boys were hard to miss - and made his way over to the queue his sweetheart was standing in; smiling and chatting and glad-handing his way up through the waiting crowd until he came to a stop behind his darling and slipped his hands into Ephram's pockets. "Hello, love", he said, "What are we in line for?"
"So no, I guess, to properly answer your question," Maya said, "I think it's not supposed to be haunted after."
Ephram extended a leg to tap the sign with his toe, summarily having to hustle to lean forward and prevent it from falling over. "Whoops," he huffed, rubbing his nose in momentary contrition before bumping against Freddie. "Hayride, to answer your question. And a not-haunted hayride at that! You ever been on one?"
"Never in my life," Freddie said, "What do we do? If anything."
Ruby liked bonfires, and made a mental note to try and make it out. She was about to say something to Maya when her pocket gave a might wriggle and the little chinchilla leapt out and onto the ground, darting away and into the crowd. "Shit," Ruby said to herself, giving a hasty wave goodbye as she darted after it into the crowd.
Ephram handed Freddie his hot chocolate. "Hazelnut," he said by way of explanation, and then, "we sit in the cart, on a bunch of hay, while they drive us around. Hey, Maya -- d'you know if there's any special sights or anythang? On the ride?"
"Um, hi," Maya said, "And nah, you just sit and..." She weighed her next phrase before saying, "I mean, in high school we just made out so." She offered a shrug. As far as Ephram's question, she answered, "I only know what's on the sign." She turned her head as Ruby darted off. At least the small chinchilla, as far as she could tell, running off explained what Ruby'd had in her pocket.
Freddie took Ephram's cup and sipped his rather nice hot chocolate before wrinkling his nose at the lacklustre report on an activity apparently worth queuing up for. "We just sit in a pile of hay?" he asked, "Why? And where are they driving us?"
Ephram hummed. "Maybe you missed the 'making out' part of the explanation," he teased, before shaking his head. A public Soapberry event wasn't exactly Ephram's preferred place for making out, especially as the sheriff. "It's a thing to do! At fall fairs and whatnot." He looked around for one of the Carnival volunteers in their flashing green vests, hailing one and asking, "Anything special about this hayride? Afore we commit ourselves to it for twenty minutes."
Freddie pouted for a moment, knowing his husband well enough to know that he likely wasn't going to be doing any making out here amongst Soapberry's family fun contingent. "My arse is going to freeze off, isn't it?" he grumbled. "I'll need to glamour us a blanket."
Maya nodded as Freddie didn't acknowledge her greeting. She took another sip of her hot toddy. As Ephram asked if there was anything particularly special about this hayride, she listened, curious. The attendant grinned, "Of course there is. But if I tell you that'd ruin the surprise." Maya had to laugh at the over the top salesmanship of the attendant. "Alright, well that sells me," she said before climbing up on the cart with Hermes.
Ephram pointed at the attendant, looking at Freddie. "See? There's some specialness on the ride! Come on, there'll be blankets provided, I'm sure. It's a ride, not a trip to market to try and sell Pa's turnip crop." He thanked the attendant and shoved Freddie towards the cart. "You two've met, right? Maya this is Freddie, Freddie this is Maya. Just in case." Ephram grinned and settled down into the hay as well.
Freddie smiled, extending a hand to Maya, even as he laughed and playfully nudged Ephram back. "Maya," he said, "-hello, love. I'm sorry I didn't say hello sooner; it was just that your name had escaped me and I was hoping it would come back to me. How are you?"
Maya shook Freddie's hand, not entirely believing him. In her opinion, it seemed like a pretty flimsy excuse. But she wasn't about to make any indication she thought so. Instead she shrugged, "Can't complain. And you? Other than the not being overly excited about hayrides." She draped a blanket over herself and Hermes, making them comfortable as the cart started off.
Ephram tended to blanket tucking-in for Freddie and himself before taking his hot chocolate back. "This hayride's gonna change your mind on em, jes you wait and see!" he declared, despite having no evidence to back him up just yet.
"I'm wonderful," Freddie said with a warm grin. "I mean, I'd be more excited about the hayride if the making out like teenagers bit was still on the table," he teased, tickling Ephram a little as he settled into the hay beside him, "-but I'm up for anything, me. And it's a lovely night, so as long as I'm kept warm, " he paused, poking at Ephram, " - that bit's on you, sunshine - I think it might be fun."
Ephram moved closer to Freddie, wrapping an arm around his husband's shoulders. "One six-foot-two hot water bottle comin' up," he said, kissing Freddie's cheek.
Freddie grinned, leaning into the kiss. "Well, there," he said, "-now I'm already having fun."
Maya scratched behind Hermes' ears. She glanced behind them, having thought she heard rustle in the woods. But Hermes was calm and she didn't see anything. She brought her attention back. "At the very least, we should be able to see the stars out here," she said, casting her gaze upwards. The light pollution wasn't nearly as bad as New York, but even just the festival had drowned out some of them.
Ephram leaned back somewhat so he could properly stare up at the night sky. "Did you know that Soapberry has impermanent constellations?" he said. "Yeah! They show up like once every three months or somethang, a couple at a time." He lifted one arm to point, fingers describing a crescent shape. "The one right now looks like a wedge of orange. At least it does to me."
Freddie shot a little burst of fairy dust up into the sky over their heads, giving the impression of animating the constellation - the wedge of orange joining another collection of fruit to form a Carmen Miranda headdress for Cassiopeia. "Is this cheating?" he asked, "Or are we allowed to participate in the stargazing?"
A smile crept over Maya's face. She'd always like stargazing. A long time ago she used to do it with her parents from the top of Salem's lighthouse. The far away pinpricks of light reminded her that, in the grand scheme, she was small. "I think you can only cheat if there's competition involved," she replied.
Ephram crowed over Maya's comment. "I like that!" he declared. "That's a good definition. I wish I had an orange now, though. Good game, good game," Ephram said, slapping imaginary hands like it was the precursor to being handed post-match orange wedges by his little league coach.
Freddie leaned a little closer into the warmth of Ephram's body. "So what else has everyone been up today?" he asked, "Ollie and I have done rather a lot of wandering, but we haven't committed to too many activities yet."
Maya kept watching the sky pass. Partially because she enjoyed it and partially to avoid the third wheel feeling she was 95% sure she'd have if she focused inside the cart. She shrugged, "Some painting at the bakery, nothing terribly exciting." But thinking again that she heard something, she glanced behind herself into the dark woods. There was nothing. She must be hearing things. She wrapped her blanket a little tighter around herself before turning Ephram, waiting for his answer.
Ephram asked, "The bakery?" before scratching his chin in thought about what he wanted to report. "I wanted to get my face painted, but there was like an entire school fulla kids in front of me at the stall," he bemoaned his luck. "So I just did some bobbing for candy apples. I think they was candy apples. I wasn't allowed to keep the one I got!"
"Two questions, sweetheart," Freddie said with a smile, "First, what would you have had painted if you could, and second, why couldn't you keep your apple?" He turned to Maya then. "What bakery is that, love? Anything we'd know?"
"HEAD'S UP --" Iann yelled suddenly from above the slowly trundling hayride. He was half-clinging to a speeding broomstick, that was giving off sparks from the sweeping end. Iann and the broom crashed right into the hay, the cart tipping and rocking from the impact, hay tumbling everywhere. Not just that, but the sparks from the broom also caught on the dry hay, which easily and gleefully lit up as the magical cart slowed to a halt, sensing its demise. Iann went tumbling ass over tea kettle through the field, still trying to control the spasming broom.
Ephram yelped, "Jesus Christ!!" and immediately shoved Freddie, Maya, and her dog out of the stopped cart, grabbing a blanket to slap at the flames.
"Oh, sorry, I'm opening a bakery with Tuah," Maya explained. Having worked on it for months, it seemed like common knowledge to her. But of course she'd really only talked about it with friends. She was about to explain that she was working on a mural when her attention was grabbed by someone shouting. As Iann made impact, Maya barely managed to leap off before it tipped over. Hermes too jumped off. "Shit," she swore under her breath as the cart caught fire.
Iann threw himself on the wild broomstick, trying to stop it as he yelled to the other three. "It's - like - a - bucking - bronto - " No wait, that wasn't right. "Bronco! Broncoooo-oo-o- whoa whoaaaa broom whoa!!" Somehow, the broom didn't seem to obey Iann's instructions.
Freddie once he'd gotten his bearings again, sent a stream of fairy dust to surround the broomstick, glamouring it into a toothpick. "There we are," he said, smirking at his friend, "Try not to get a splinter, darling."
Ephram finished slapping out the flames with the help of a burst of silver-green magic that ate up all the oxygen around the flames, forcing them to snuff out with a resounding bang that rang in their ears for a few moments. "Dammit, Cardero!" he bawled at Iann. "Where the hell did you even get that thing?"
Maya watched as the broom tried to buck Iann off before Freddie turned it into a toothpick. "Jesus Iann, you okay?" she asked. She realized belatedly that she'd spilled her drink on herself while jumping off the cart. Luckily, there was going to be a bonfire later. She looked for Hermes, who came trotting up to her from the other side of the cart.
Iann was still laying on top of the broom when Freddie glamoured it, and so Iann could still feel the tiny thing magically bucking under him which ended up just sort of giving the impression that he was...well, humping a random rotten field potato. He shot Freddie a glare. Damn cheeky fairies. "Oh much better now, Didi!!" Rolling onto his back, Iann finally just gave up, and released the toothpick, which went zooming up into the night sky. "Okay see you bye." He looked over at Ephram, and the fiery mess he'd caused, and grinned. "There's a place giving broomstick rides for kids. I just sorta....amped up the juice on mine. Just a bit."
Ephram leaned over and slapped at Iann's hair with the singed blanket. "Goddamnit. You wrecked up the hayride cart! They're gonna take it outta your ass, these Carnival folks don't joke around with destroyin' their property."
Maya had to laugh. Of course, Iann had amped up a child's broomstick. She turned her attention though to the cart. It was indeed ruined. At least it was just hay, she supposed. Well, hay and wood.
"And how exactly did you manage that?" Freddie asked, caught somewhere between exasperation and fondness. "Do I even want to know?"
"I got this charm..." Iann started explaining to Freddie, giving Maya a nod to say he was okay. At least he thought he was. He reached up to catch the blanket that Ephram whapped him with, but then gulped hard, turning sweaty and pale immediately. "Oh. Shit. I think I dislocated my shoulder...fuck, shit, god-fucking-fuckity-dammit it, ow ow ow..." Iann rolled forward, gingerly holding his arm. "Okay, who's the lucky duck who gets to pull it right again?"
Ephram grunted, kneeling down next to Iann and reaching for his shoulder before pausing and looking up at Freddie. "Actually," he said, "probly Freddie should do it. Iffen you want your shoulder popped back in painless, that is."
"I got you," Maya said, "Give it here." She had put more than a few shoulders right in her day and now that she knew about her literally magic touch she could help with some of the pain too. She knelt and took hold of his arm. "Ready? On three. One...two," she popped it into place
Freddie would never stop wondering why so many witches eschew fairy healing for their own less-capable varieties, but to each their own. At least Iann's shoulder was fixed again.
Ephram sat back on the grass, secretly sort of pleased with this outcome. Iann deserved a little bit of discomfort for shenanigans. "Oh, shoot," he said as brightly-glowing green vests began to make their way out into the field. "Here come the volunteers. And it's a hayride, Cardero -- you best hope they don't got pitchforks."
Iann groaned and landed face down on the field when Maya popped his shoulder. "Ohhhhhhh god that feels good and awful at the same time," he said, voice full of dirt. He looked up when Ephram mentioned the green-vests, and gave a weak one-shouldered shrug, reaching out to be helped up. "You're the Sheriff - surely I'm in company that keeps the pitchfork crowd at bay, am I right?" Iann looked around, then looked at Freddie, stricken. "Where's Ollie?" His gaze slid towards the burned hay and side-turned cart.
Ephram grunted again, somewhat mollified that at least Iann showed concern for the possibility of Ollie having been hurt. "I reckon I might could tell em it was an accident," he started to say, before suddenly leaping up to his feet in shock, shouting, "My hot chocolate!!" and loping back to the burnt cart to locate his unending hot chocolate pouring out into a sticky puddle under a charred heap of hay.
Freddie followed Iann's gaze - and his train of thought - over to the decimated hay cart, and pulled a mock affronted and horrified face. "Excuse you," he said, "-but he's not bloody trapped in there! I'd have expired by now, if he had. He's having an apple cider with a mate of his. I'm to meet him later at the pumpkin contest."
"Doesn't it always?" Maya agreed. Having never experienced it, she didn't think about fairy healing. Just that Iann needed someone to pop his shoulder back in and she seemed like the best person at the time. "I've got like couple of ibuprofen worth of magic, but Ephram's right," she added. Her attention turned towards the approaching volunteers. Considering they were with the sheriff, it didn't worry her. "You do owe me a hot toddy though," she said as Ephram scooped up his hot chocolate, "I didn't spring for the self-fill upgrade."
Iann was ready to go diving into the hay to save Ollie, but was immediately distracted by the idea of Ollie having his own friends. Which Freddie had informed him of before; but honestly, every time it came up, it delighted Iann as if it was the first time hearing it. "What contest?" He looked over at the helpful volunteers, and pointed an accusing finger. "It exploded on its own! You guys should really make sure these things aren't hazardous, safety first. Think of the children - god, won't someone please think of the children." Iann tutted at the green-vests, before haughtily nodded at Maya and then Freddie. "I agree Freddie, we absolutely will not be directing our guests to the hay ride tomorrow night. Let's go now that our inspection's over."
"I put your shoulder back into your socket, I can take it out," Maya jokingly threatened as Iann referred to her as a child.
"The talent show," Freddie said before Iann was off on a tangent, distracting the poor volunteers from his own misadventures - and dragging Freddie right along into his mess. The fairy turned to the green-vests apologetically. "He gets a bit disoriented at night," he told them, "They call it sundowning. So don't mind him, yeah? We'll be recommending the entire carnival to our guests."
Ephram handed off his seared pink travel mug to Freddie, making imploring eyes-- "can you fix it, honey, please?" before nodding along with Freddie's swiftly-performed damage control, straightening and holding his arms out to herd the green-vests away from the little group. "It's fine, no harm done," Ephram said briskly. "Might wanna look into who gets their hands on those broomstick rides, though, huh?"
Iann looked innocent, if soil-stained, as Freddie and Ephram both did damage control with the politely confused (but quite used to seeing disasters and putting out fires - both literally and figuratively. Oh, the life of a volunteer) volunteers, who went to attend to the toppled hay cart. "I just realized that thing isn't actually drawn by anything," Iann murmured, noticing there was no horses attached, or tractor. He looked at Maya. "Who owes you a drink? I do, or Pettaline? Pettaline, right?" He nodded about the talent show, and then he had to ask, "Is Ollie in the talent show?"
Freddie took Ephram's mug and gave it a quick once-over - the replenishing magic was fae, so he didn't see any harm in applying a little dust of his own and glamouring it back to the way it had been before Iann Knieval had crash landed. "Here, love," he said, watching as it refilled itself, "Good as new."
"No," Freddie said, "-it's for pumpkins. People have made those horrifying pumpkinhead creatures from Return to Oz, and the talent show is for them. Ol and I are just going to watch."
Iann huffed on Freddie's behalf. "Just watch? They should've asked you and Ollie to be judges. You're esteemed members of Soapberry society and all that!"
Maya let them handle the green vests. It was usually better to let other people talk to authority. "Ephram didn't make me jump off my cart and spill three quarters of a hot toddy, soooooooo."
Ephram took his mug back with a pleased buzz, only to have it turn into a whine of protest. "I loved that pumpkinhead guy from Return to Oz!" he protested. "Him and the moose were the best. And no, Cardero, I don't owe nobody nothin' except maybe you a cuff in the head." He nodded enthusiastically at Maya's correction of Iann's willful misconception. "See?"
"Apparently we made the shortlist," Freddie said, shooting Iann a smirk, "-but Nutkin's a judge and he got us blackballed."
"Listen, I already got whapped by you in the head with a flea-infested horse blanket," Iann said as he started to distance himself from the burning ruined hayride. He glanced at Maya. "And okay then, hot toddy it is. If only to...make you stop saying 'hot toddy'. Sounds like we're in a ski lodge or something." Iann halted though as Freddie broke the news, staring in utter shock. "That fucking Bugle editor?! Oh Freddie...Freddie, that's my fault," Iann said it in a generous, magnanimous way, as if everyone didn't already know who's fault it was that Nutkin had its vendetta. "I should write a apology to that little peanut-brain..." A scathing, ranting, apology full of vitriol.
Freddie laughed, slipping his hand into Ephram's. "Oh, I think you've done enough, darling. Don't you?"
Maya laughed, "You know I have to keep saying it now, right?" She had no intention of following through or of really holding him to buy a drink. But it was kind of funny. She didn't know anything about this Nutkin, but evidentaly no one was a fan. "Sounds like you'd rather write him a strongly worded letter," she commented, "I know some strong words if you need them."
Ephram took his husband's hand, squeezing it and tugging Freddie in closer, not having forgotten his mandate to share the heat he tended to radiate in all seasons. "You watch yourself, Cardero," Ephram said, just a teensy bit nastily since he knew where he was heading with this comment: "Maya here's startin' a bakery with Tuah, so if you don't play nice with her you'll find another place you're blackballed from."
"I've written that little bugger plenty..." Which was precisely why Stonefruit Inn was in the semi-predicament it was in already. He cast Freddie another apologetic glance, pushing his hands into his pockets as they strolled out of the field, back towards where the food stalls were. "Ohhhh ah ahaha, yeah if I get blackballed from their bakery, it wouldn't be by Maya's doing. I haven't been performing very well on the ex front," Iann said with a wistful grin, and another half-shrug, not particularly minding Ephram's little jibe. It was genuine and inadvertently accurate, and for Iann that was what mattered. "But who knows. Maybe we'll be back on good terms by the time the place opens though, hm?"
Maya laughed again, "Yeah you probably got plenty on that one." Even with Tuah as her business partner and all her friends support her, she still felt nervous about the whole thing. "But, I think Tuah's too nice to ban anyone and I'm too interested in getting rich to not take anyone's money," she added. The first part was true and the second clearly a joke.
Ephram returned Iann's half-shrug, his spurt of meanness nullified by Iann's good-natured acceptance. Ephram couldn't stay poking at somebody -- even Iann -- in the face of such openness. "After the painting's done, I reckon?" he speculated, looking at Maya to say yay or nay on when the place was opening. He drank from his mug and remarked, "--that Nutkin feller's mighty hard to shut up. Although at least lately he's stopped referring to me as Typhoid Billy."
Iann grunted noncommittally about Tuah, pulling out his wallet when they got to the stall featuring all manner of cheery fall-related beverages. Some cold, some hot, all special in some way of course. "Well you're a married man now, it would be gauche or something, I guess," Iann said, squinting at the menu board. "Okay a hot toddy for you, and - what'd you have Pettaline? Hot chocolate? Spiked or not?"
Maya smiled and nodded, "Yes please."
"Oh, no, I'm fine -- mine's self-refilling." Ephram nursed it thoughtfully. "I reckon if Nutkin's stopped jabbin' at me it's got somethang to do with me bein' Sheriff now, not whether or not I'm married. The Bugle don't seem overly concerned with gauche."
Iann got himself a coffee - just normal, no funny business, Iann instructed the server - and handed Maya her hot toddy. "So what you're saying is..." Iann said, just as thoughtfully. "Is that if someone finds some reason for our esteemed Editor to be liable for...oh I don't know. Slander or libel or - oh! - harassment, then the Sheriff's Department can intervene on the injured citizen's behalf?" Because if there was anything better than skirting around the law, it was exploiting the law.
Maya took her new drink, still smiling, "Thank you." She took a sip, feeling immediately warmed by it. "Don't you have to like lawyer up for that?" she asked although she didn't really know. Plus things worked differently here in Soapberry anyway.
Ephram hemmed and hawwed a little bit before answering. "Well, yeah," he said, "but you'll have a hard time proving true ill intent. I mean it ain't harmed the Stonefruit any, the feud you'ns got going, and the Bugle's got free speech on their side. Even in Soapberry, some things still stand."
Iann blustered an imitation of Ephram, Kentucky accent and all, as he danced his arms op and down, frowning sternly, "Oh even - even in Soapberry, oh, hm, some things still stay-yand."  Really, he just sounded like Jeff Goldblum with a bad Kentucky accent.
Maya took a sip of her drink and chose to stay out of this one.
Ephram sipped his drink too, placidly; Freddie, after giving Iann a bit of a stern look, said, “And on that note, loves, I’d best see what Ollie’s up to. If I’m late and he misses the pumpkin judging I’m in for a bollocksing.” The fairy gave Ephram a kiss, lingering a little, before saying his goodbyes to Maya and Iann and setting off.
Ephram cleared his throat and turned to Maya. "So you're obviously handlin' the baking part," he said, "are you'ns gonna be havin' coffee and all that too?"
Maya nodded, "Yep, the whole works. We talked about maybe getting a liquor license too. Nothing better than late night cake and champagne." She couldn't help the almost secret smile that curved her lips as she thought of the last time she'd had cake and champagne.
Iann looked dismayed, giving a short wave of goodbye as he went after Freddie. "Freddie! C'mon man..." he pleaded, disappearing from the sight of Epham and Maya.
"Cain't argue with that," Ephram said, watching Iann bolt off after Freddie. "Well, that must be pretty exciting for you both! A new venture like that, especially with somebody. Not much fun starting new enterprises on your own."
"Well that I've got about seven dollars to my name, so it'd be a bit difficult," Maya replied. She was excited, but most days she was more nervous. And with everything that had been happening lately, she wasn't entirely sure she'd make it to opening day. But she just smiled and took a sip of her drink,
Ephram made a noncommittal sound, not really sure if Maya meant that as a joke or something more serious. "Thought of a name for the place?"
Maya shook her head, "We're still working on it." She took another sip of her drink. "How're things at the station?"
"Good, good. Just signed on a new Deputy, a Joey Voeman, you know him?" Ephram found it best to assume that people hadn't met, rather than the other way around.
Maya nodded, "Yeah, we've met. He seems like a good guy."
"Very good." Ephram opened his mouth to continue, but his phone buzzed, and he checked it, clucking his tongue. "Speaking of which," he said, "I'm gettin' called back to the station for a situation. It was good to see you, though! Send the Department a flyer or somethang when you open the bakery cafe. We're always on the lookout for new places to buy baked stuff from."
"Will do," Maya replied with a wave.
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deetvar-moved · 7 years
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Shenanigans with the Blagi Sword
Inspired by the fact Tobin tries to hold the Royal Sword in Echoes and fails. Leif: So only the descendants of the Crusaders can wield this blade ? Lifts blade. How lightweight. Nanna: It’s so comfortable in my hand.  Fergus: Holds sword. What a load of bullshit. I can hold it no problem. Lifis: Let me try. Falls to the floor hard. It’s heavy. Pahn: Lifis, you baby. Let’s a man handle this. Can’t lift. Fuck this shit I’m out.  Marita: Hey Prince Shanan, why don’t you try? ShanaM: I...uh..the Balmung is proof of my heritage. I have no need to confirm what you already know.... Marita: You’re right Prince Shanan!
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Ep 54 Don't Be Poor & Irish!
Happy St. Patrick's Day! No shenanigans here this week, we've got economic hardships and rampant sickness. Is it a modern novel?? No, we're back in 1845 Ireland, by way of 1990's Under the Hawthorn Tree by Marita Conlon-McKenna.
It's a wild journey through the Irish countryside during the famine, with the poor O'Driscoll kids. It'll make you want to drown their sorrows in a Guinness, that's for sure.
But it's not all doom and gloom! Jess and Steven recount their trip to the North Texas Teen Book Festival, where Jess fan-girled HARD over some big Baby-Sitters Club connections!
Thanks for listening!
Hey, if you’ve been enjoying our show, please share it, tweet it, tell your friends and enemies. Word of mouth is the best way podcasts grow, and we would really appreciate it!
Rate and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and all other podcast places.
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  Commercial break
Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Itty Bitty 8 Bit" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Check out this episode!
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maritasdump · 3 years
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We did it folks
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We got all three of them
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maritasdump · 3 years
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"I am brave, strong, loyal, and give great hugs. And I am going to be the best friend that I CAN BE!"
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maritasdump · 3 years
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maritasdump · 3 years
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Anne Boonchuy 🤝 Luz Noceda
Getting told back home that they're cheesy
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maritasdump · 3 years
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"You know what? She's right. We are really great. I'm clever, roguishly good-looking, and a top-notch sailor. I don't care if anyone else thinks I'm cool. I don't need their opinions to validate me. I'm Sea Hawk!"
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maritasdump · 3 years
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The holy trinity
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maritasdump · 3 years
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Matt: stay tuned!!
Also Matt: *dumps EVERYTHING SOONER THAN EXPECTED AND GIVES US MORE THAN WE DESERVE ISTG WE DO NOT DESERVE HIM-*
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maritasdump · 3 years
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THEY ARE REUNITED I AM LITERALLY SOBBING GUYS
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maritasdump · 3 years
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AMPHIBIA FANDOM WAKE THE FUCK UP-
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maritasdump · 3 years
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I got carried away help-
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maritasdump · 3 years
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There are too many holy trinities considering the gem trio IS a holy trinity on its own. I mean....
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And this
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And this
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Anyway watch Amphibia.
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maritasdump · 3 years
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🦉The Owl House: Eda's Requiem/ Raine's Rhapsody Piano Cover🦉
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