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#mark lee soulmate au
kiwimilksblog · 10 months
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GUYSSSS
I know none of y’all care about my crazy lil ideas and headcanons BUT BRO
So it’s a soulmate au, the one where whenever you get like a scar it shows up on your soulmate too.
George Weasley waking up one day with a burning pain on his arm.
Looking down and realizing it’s the dark mark.
Panicking about it for the entire morning thinking about how he’s gonna hide it or if anyone asks about it what he’s gonna say.
Waking up Fred while he’s almost crying because he’s having a dreadful panic attack.
Fred sleepily sitting up, seeing his twin in destress and immediately asking what’s wrong.
George explaining with short breaths and glossy eyes that it just showed up on his arm and he didn’t know what to do.
Fred pulling him in for a hug and just mumbling about how it’s all going to be okay and that he would protect George with his life.
George having to wear sweaters and long sleeve shirts everywhere.
Lee being worried about George and hoping that everything is okay(he has no idea what’s going on)
George being weary of Harry for awhile, hoping that Harry wouldn’t find out and think he was working with Voldemort.
Just overall angst really. Poor George.
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yangtaros · 2 years
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soulmate au
the part of your body your soulmate touches glows
jaehyun x female reader
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5
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gifs by @chenleyah
You walked into the doors of SM. It was day two of practice.
You start to hear people coming in, “y/n!”
Jaehyun runs up to give you a high five but Johnny beats him to it. You laugh and prepare yourself.
“Okay y’all ready for today?”
“Yes maam” Jaehyun said to you.
“Don’t call me ma’am I’m younger than you!”
“Yeah Jaehyun you gotta say Yes ma’lady” Johnny said.
You laugh, “no”
“What should we call you actually?” Mark asked.
“Just my name, Y/n”
He nodded his head.
“Y/n” Doyoung repeated to himself.
“Yup”
You and the guys started to practice. You came up with an idea to have each person do the dance by themselves after to make sure everyone was doing it correctly. While the others went one by one Jaehyun stood close to you whispering little comments.
“I bet I could do this part better”, Jaehyun said as Haechan was dancing.
“I’d like to see you try”
After Haechan was done Jaehyun went up and did the dance to a T.
“Great job Jaehyun, I think you two were neck and neck”
“Neck and neck?”
You nodded and laughed
“I guess I’ll have to impress you some other way” he says faintly.
You blushed, moving on to the next person. Wanting to not think so much into what he just said.
***********************************
“Great job today guys!”
The boys were getting tired. They drank water and gathered their things.
“Thank you” Taeil said, giving you a high five.
“You’re welcome, you did amazing”
He smiled and waved you goodbye.
Soon you heard someone running up to you, you turned around and it was Mark.
“Y/n!”
“Mark!”
“What’s your number?” He handed his phone to you and you grabbed it to put it in.
Jaehyun watched you two chat
“Are you a movie fan?” Mark asked you.
“Yes”
“Do you want to see the new spider-man movie that just came out?”
“I’ve been meaning to see that!”
Mark smiled, “Great!”
Jaehyun felt a little weird about the encounter he was watching.
“Um, I’ve been wanting to see that movie too!”
“Same!” Johnny yelled from the other side of the dance studio.
Jaehyun smiled, “I guess we’ll all go”.
You turned to Jaehyun, “Isn’t it risky for you guys to go to a movie?”
“We usually do the night showings” Johnny responded.
You decided to agree to the inquiry, little did you know the moments that would happen that night.
***********************************
Jaehyun was waiting with Johnny and Mark at the theatre. They all were sitting in the back and walked in the theatre with their hood up and a mask so they wouldn’t be recognized. Jaehyun saved a seat at the end of the row for you so you could sit next to him.
“I might have to use the bathroom so I’ll sit on the end.”
Johnny got up and moved to sit in the spot saved for you.
Well at least she can sit on the other side of me.
He turned to see you walking up the stairs, “Hi guys”
“Hi y/n” They all said together.
You saw an empty spot between mark and jaehyun and assumed it was for you.
“No y/n I’ll sit there. It’s probably easier for you to see towards the middle”
He got up and sat next to Jaehyun, leaving you to sit next to mark.
Jaehyun sighed, which Johnny noticed.
Throughout the movie Jaehyun glanced at the both of you, laughing together at funny moments and sulking together at sad parts. At one point you even leaned on him.
At some points Jaehyun didn’t focus on movie. He focused on you.
everyone act like i just updated this yesterday 😭💜 sorry guys
comment if u wanna be apart of the
taglist: @butterfliesinthenightsky @venusprada @shimyswischeesedp @delicateprincessshark
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haec-an · 10 months
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written in the stars
https://archiveofourown.org/works/47665627
“Shh.” The siren pulled Mark towards him, breathing onto his skin, almost embracing him in a hug. “I can feel you thinking. Don’t stress, I can point you in the right direction back, don't worry.” The boy let his lips brush against Mark’s neck, almost teasing him with his touch. “That is of course unless you’d rather stay with me.” He giggled again, the sound swinging in the air like a melody.
Mark’s thoughts came to an abrupt stop when he heard the siren’s voice so close, he sounded like he needed to be devoured and his presence consumed him. Like the sun when it’s high in the sky, warmth touching wherever it can reach. “You’re so beautiful, you’re like…radiating.”
-
in which mark hears a beautiful siren song for the first time and finds out he can be so much more than just a boy working for a rich town household.
-----
so i wrote something and would love to share it with you all?!
it’s a fic about haechan as a siren and mark as a human :]
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captain-joongz · 3 months
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fanfiction recommendations/my favourite reads in 2023
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♤ in pursuit of wedded bliss by @fantasyescapes17
regency au, each members has his own story, but they're interconnected
choi seungcheol
◇ push it down (sooner or later it all comes out) by @dontflailmenow
camboy!seungcheol, ex's best friend!seungcheol, enemies to lovers
♧ down bad (so so bad) by @lovelyhan
idol!seungcheol x pet sitter!reader
☆ always only you by @honeyhotteoks
brother's best friend!seungcheol, friends to lovers
♤ caught in a trap by @cheolism
brother's best friend to lovers au
kim mingyu
☆ a sheep in wolf's clothing by @rubyreduji
virgin!mingyu x experienced reader
♤ creep by @smileysuh
serial killer!ghost!mingyu, touch starved!mingyu, halloween fic
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ot8
◇ skz drabble by @leviackermanscleaningbuddy
a/b/o, cnc, primal play
♧ sharing = caring by @cbini
bf!chan sharing you
☆ camcorder by @tasteracha
bf!minho x reader x chan, a little pervy chan
♤ five for five by @bh-archive
chan x hyunjin x hongjoong x san x juyeon x reader
◇ some things are better left unknown by @roseykat
chan x felix x reader, threesome
lee minho
♧ dilf!minho by @cinhomi
dilf!minho x baby sitter!reader, breeding kink, pregnancy talk
bang chan
☆ bad idea by @hyunsvngs
step dad!chan, getting together, infidelity
hwang hyunjin
♤ dressing down by @jl-micasea-fics
best friends to lovers, mutual pining
lee felix
◇ best friend felix by @ddyskz
best friends to lovers, fluffy smut
♧ felix + thigh riding by @straykeedz
☆ cockwarming by @dreaming-medium
coworkers au, secretary!felix, office sex
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ot7
♤ shadows we trust by @remedyx
supernatural au, mystical creatures!bts, dark circus au
◇ masked miracles by @remedyx
hybrid!bts, detective!reader
♧ stay alive by @staytinyville
mythical creatures!bts, supernatural au
☆ trouvaille by @spookyserenades
hybrid!bts, witch!reader, supernatural au, some horror themes
♤ eternally theirs by @imnotlauriane
dragon!bts, soulmates au, knights au
◇ the lucky seven by @riphobisbraces
hybrid!bts, princess!human!reader
♤ emerald gem by @sweetlyskz
hybrid!bts, reader has a farm, strangers to lovers
♧ oh, little red by @jincherie
wolf!yoongi x reader x wolf!jimin, red riding hood au
min yoongi
☆ celestial ruin by @remedyx
fallen angel!yoongi x angel!reader, corruption arc
♤ fxck a fxckboy by @yoongifis
fuckboy!yoongi x smartass!reader
kim taehyung
◇ isn't that what brothers do? by @aris-ink
step brother!taehyung, forbidden romance, dub con
♧ black swan by @aris-ink
step dad!taehyung, manipulation, corruption, cheating
☆new flame by @gimmethatagustd
alpha!taehyung x omega!reader, heat sex
jeon jungkook
♤ family secrets by @aris-ink
step brother!jungkook, dry humping
◇ icarus by @aris-ink
step brother!jungkook, risky/sneaky sex
♧ close by @aft3rhrs
step brother!jungkook, forbidden romance
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choi soobin
☆ let's play a game by @anyamaris
soobin x reader x yeosang (ateez), friends to lovers, primal play
♤ closed doors by @last-words-ofashootingstar
soobin x reader x hongjoong, idol au, obsessed!soobin
◇ super shy! by @fairyofshampgyu
shy virgin baker!soobin x experienced reader
♧ i <3 nerds by @enha-cafe
nerdy!soobin secretly a sex god au
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multiple members
☆ drippin' by @ncteez
'00 line x reader, friends to lovers, birthday orgy
♤ cookie jar by @neopuppy
step brothers!jeno and jaemin x reader, stuck in a dryer au
♧ sos by @neopuppy
a/b/o, sex pollen au, pollen induced heat/rut
lee jeno
☆ shameless by @neopuppy
step son!jeno x step mom!reader, infidelity, very dub con
♤ hand kink by @jaylaxies
roommates au, hand kink
lee mark
◇ i can help by @recklessmark
step dad!mark, corruption, manipulation, infidelity
ATEEZ rec list pt. 1 | pt. 2
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i4oba · 28 days
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nct dream as… / fanfiction aus 𓈒✳︎🏡
[take the quiz here to see which one you get!]
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✰ MARK — childhood friends to lovers!au
ever since you've basically known your name, mark has been the boy next door. there was the cheeky, red letters of "lee" painted on the mailbox, the windows were adorned with the same coloured curtains, and the same doormat has been sitting in front of their door for ages. you have loved mark ever since you two have met. there wasn't a day where you wouldn't think of him, and there hasn't been a day when you haven't loved him. it was like a vicious circle which you couldn't get out of, because those stupid feelings would destroy the oh so precious friendship of yours, and you cannot let that happen, right? i mean, that's what you've thought for far too long, since this friendship meant more to you, than the fragile feeling of love - you didn't want it to get to the point where you would rather spit on each other, than talk it out. maybe that's why you pushed him away from yourself? maybe you just did that because you weren't too sure of your own peace of mind? no matter what, you knew the decision itself was wrong, only to realize it way too late. damaging the friendship and crying yourself to sleep was all your fault, after all, being way too proud and scared, stupid even; when you came back to the town where you two grew up, the least thing you wanted was to meet mark lee, mainly because you wouldn't have been able to look him in the eyes after all these happened. but you had to, so soon you even got a little surprised. it's been a while since the last time you have been home, your bedroom seemed way too unfamiliar at that point, just like the vhs tape placed directly in the middle of your bed. one which you haven't seen yet. it didn't have a title, the white label completely empty as you picked it up. you were a little bit cautious when placing it in the system, waiting for it to play whatever is on it, not having such large imagination to expect anything. it was a home video montage, full of videos of you and mark: playing together, getting ready for the first day of school, going to the movies, the way you two got engaged in middle school as a joke, and the omnious day of prom... you got teary eyed, with one thing on your mind - you have to go and save whatever's left now. maybe you're not too late.
✰ RENJUN — soulmate!au
life had been pretty much grey and dreary until you found The One. the other half everyone had been so obsessed to find. you were never big on all this stuff, because you were convinced you'd be able to live as a single half for you whole life, and don't need anyone else to feel complete. deep inside you knew that all of this is bullshit, truly, and all that was coming out of you was true bitterness and constantly ongoing unsuccessful confessions, making you believe in your delusions. with every passing second, you had to see people find their other half, while you were left to deal with the grey world you were left in, not as a choice but as fate instead. you felt like a loser, a big zero, who doesn't even deserve a soulmate. you thought you were destined to die alone, maybe compensate with something of brilliance: be a composer or a singer, write or paint something extraordinary, lord knows what, just something of importance! you were looking for yourself in every corner of the world, not for a lover or a fling, not for an other half, fully ignoring the law of attraction. it might have been some reverse psychological trick, effecting it all. and this may have been the reason behind why you had to leave that horribly boring theatre play, sneaking out and bumping into The One, who handed back your accidentally dropped bag, slowly looking into your eyes. he might have worked at the theater as he was wearing a name tag on his elegant shirt - huang renjun, it said. but it doesn't even matter, because his eyes were brown! brown! not grey, brown! everything cleared up. you did find the half - with brown eyes and a smile so bright.
✰ JENO — coffee shop!au
it was pretty much bittersweet to step foot in your favourite café: it was getting dark out there, and although the rain has stopped pouring, you got absolutley soaked to the core along the way there, rain replacing the tears on your face by then. your hair was sticking to your forehead uncomfortably, your body trembling without stopping, as you entered. the bell placed above the entrance was ringing lightly, gathering everyone's attention to you, although there wasn't too much people there except for the baristas, maybe two wandering souls, working on their laptops or reading in a cozy corner. well, maybe if it wasn't for getting dumped literal minutes ago, you wouldn't be here either, but it was still the most reasonable choice compared to going to a club or a ruin bar, gettig incredibly drunk, Plus! a good espresso might be able to clear the fog in your head, which you were in need of during this stupidly stressing period of life. you expected hyuck to greet you by the coffee machine, grinning ear to ear, as he always does when you visit between two lectures, but there was a completely new face behind the counter. it's been a long time since you've last seen a new employee here. his smile was sweet and rather warm, eyes conveying a sense of concern as you took one step closer, rubbing your eyes while getting your purse out of your pocket - you discreetly looked at his name tag, right on his black apron: lee jeno. whatta name... by then, you were way to hopeless to try and guess how the day would go, but life had to surprise you, fate deciding funnily against all odds: next to your cup of coffee, there was a napkin, hiding a telephone number on it, messily written down with a short message as well: "would you go out on a date with me, darling? :)"
✰ HAECHAN — rivals to lovers!au
lee donghyuck's name rushed through the hallways of your music academy just as quietly as a whisper, and you never knew why was it all like that ever since you've stepped foot into the school. you couldn't even hide the way too obvious rolls of your eyes every time you heard it. lee donghyuck was one of the biggest prodigies at the academy, no one could even be considered as a rival for him, this is mainly why he was such a big living legend amongst the students - you couldn't even hide how annoyed this made you, especially because he made sure you knew this ever since you two were little. music played a huge part in both of your lives, and somehow, you two always seemed to be at each other's throat, the first place at being the best always changing between the two of you. you could never get rid of each other either; your dad, always being so positive, once said, on your way to the academy sometime between sophomore and junior year, that the only reason behind this is that you two are equally good at what you're doing. you were pretty much skeptic for the longest of time, and felt as if you were destined to be the forever second next to him. you've had enough of always bumping into walls, since hyuck was the one who could stand at the first place ever so proudly. in kindergarten, in middle school, and even in high school, every. god damn. time. and that infuriating smile was plastered all upon his face even when you two were asked to not perform alone on the annual charity gala of your academy - you two had to perform something phenomenal, putting the childish jarring aside, growing out of the silly phase of hating each other, which was all made up by you, and you only, pushing the poor boy away from you. the boy who had always been so obsessed with you, utterly and completely. he won this time again, isn't it right?
✰ JAEMIN — photographer!au
when jaemin brought up the idea of making the last parts of his portfolio with you (which basically means about you), you were a little bit skeptic at first. you loved jaemin dearly, since he was a really understanding friend, but... you were simply terrified of cameras. you didn't really like the idea of being captured at all, you hated looking back at yourself on pictures taken of you, and you couldn't even think about how high quality his pictures would be with that hyper super machine, focused on all the little flawed details of your face that you absolutely despised. no, you couldn't even bear the idea of this whole project, and you stood by this decision of yours, jaemin waiting patiently the whole time, not pushing it too hard. since he wanted to work with you no matter what, giving up on his plan wouldn't be too typical of him - the fight didn't last long but it was pretty heated, him highlighting so many known things that needed to be said finally: it's childish how you reflect on yourself, and your delusions stop you from way too many things. the way he said straight into your face how beautiful he thinks you are, inside and outside, and that he wants the whole world to know how ethereal you are, made you tear up a little - especially when he said his heart breaks every time you speak so lowly of yourself. he truly thinks you're the modern manifestation of aphrodite, that you are his own venus, the muse of him, someone he can adore... that he's way too in love with you to let go of this, and-; the kiss you gave him was short, yet gave him exact answers. answers to hundreds and thousand of unsaid questions he kept hidden in himself for years and years on end.
✰ CHENLE — blind date!au
you clearly didn’t brace yourself for this whole fiasco proposed by donghyuck himself, foolishly believing his reasonings behind how perfect of a matchmaker he is. of course you knew that what he way saying was partly stupid, plus you were like a seventy percent sure he wasn't even sober when he set up a blind date during that omnious frat party he wasn't invited to. you didn't have to worry or anything, that's just how you were - overly anxious of such things, even if you weren't meeting a psychopath. you were only a bit vary of the awkwardness this whole new experience would bring, both of you rushing home way too soon from the date, trying to forget about it as soon as possible. these misconceptions about how the night would go stayed straight until you stopped in front of the restaurant to wait for your - then late already - date. you were a little nervous he stood you up, and you got yourself into the most beautiful piece of clothing from you wardrobe for nothing, but it was worth it, looking back at it, as zhong chenle arrived and you two simply just... clicked? automatically? not to mention you two decided to leave the place after the hors d'oeuvre, since you both found the place a little too fancy at that moment, going to a simple ice cream parlor instead, taking a walk in the park after, talking about anything and everything that came to mind: family, politics, movies and the most embarrassing memories from your childhood came up too, as you couldn't help but laugh at how chenle dropped his ice cream cone on the ground, while he simultaneously promised you that he wouldn't drop the cone on the next date - and you smiled, so happily.
✰ JISUNG — secret admirer!au
you were head over heels for jisung and his undying love for dancing. but, thinking a bit deeper about it, while writing that foolish, teenager like love letter for him, forced into the role of his secret admirer, there were much more of those things that made you feel head over heels for the boy: he showed you what persistence was, he spent the whole of his youth with you, and he wasn't afraid to spend the rest of his life with you, helping you out anytime you're in need of it, since he couldn't not do that as you "best friend". he couldn't be evil with you, he was never able to leave you and he couldn't even envision a future in which you weren't by his side. but the border he made up between the two of you, was never crossed - you two were friends, not more, not less. you were so torn deep inside, as you were helpless, being in the never ending limbo you would rather push forward, but he kept on tugging it backwards; the idea of writing letters was originally from your mother, who had enough of your obvious agony. she was positive you would write every feeling of yours out, making it easier as time goes by. their number kept growing, however, one letter becoming a dozen soon enough, maybe even more in the meantime, while not writing a name on any of them, referring to yourself only as a mere secret admirer. they suddenly disappeared from the bottom of your drawer one day, though, realizing way too late that the ringing phone in your pocket was in fact park jisung, the picture of him taking up the screen of your mobile - did he know?
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tasteleeknow · 1 year
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masterlist
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my fictional original works are intended for entertainment and do not represent any real person in any way. they contain content that is not suitable for minors.
© tasteleeknow — do not repost, modify, or translate my work.
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to see all my writing, make sure you change your content settings to show posts marked with sexual themes.
s = smut | f = fluff | a = angst
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OT8
hurt/comfort with skz | 4.6k f, a
inner child with skz | 4.5k f
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CHAN
sweet | 4.1k s ↳ brothers best friend.
koala | 4.3k s, f ↳ roommates to lovers.
push, pull | 3.1k s, f, a ↳ established relationship.
between | 5k s, f ↳ established relationship. poly. [minho]
⇢ drabbles
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LEE KNOW
taste | 4.3k s, f ↳ established relationship.
addicted to you | one week, homecoming | 3.1k s, f, a  ↳ established relationship.
bridges and storms | 3.2k s, f, a ↳ established relationship [husband!minho].
watermelon | 2.4k s ↳ established relationship [husband!minho].
bunny | one, two | 12.7k s, f, a ↳ stangers to lovers, neighbours!au.
horror house | 6.2k s, a ↳ enemies to lovers.
make a wish | 3.9k s, f ↳ established relationship.
lovely & sweet | 6.3k s, a, f ↳ virgin!reader.
goddess of lust | 3k s ↳ enemies to lovers.
camping | 2k s, f ↳ established relationship.
hello stranger | approx 50k s, f, a ↳ soulmate!au.
iridescent | 4.8k s, f ↳ fairy!minho, fantasy!au.
good kitty | 2.8k s ↳ established relationship.
spiderweb | 7.4k s, a ↳ roommates to lovers, brothers best friend.
strawberries | 5k s ↳ established relationship [minho]. boyfriend’s best friend [jisung]
warm | 2.8k s, f ↳ established relationship.
zipper | 9.8k s, f, a ↳ established relationship.
everything and no one | 14.3k s, f, a ↳ royal!au, prince!minho, maidservant!reader, forbidden love.
call of the siren | 5.7k s, f ↳ fairytale au, siren!minho.
feast | 2k s ↳ established relationship.
between | 5k s, f ↳ established relationship. poly. [chan]
honey | 3k s, f ↳ established relationship. poly [seungmin].
⇢ drabbles
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CHANGBIN
lift | 2.9k s ↳ established relationship.
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HYUNJIN
lollipop | 4k s, f ↳ roommates to lovers.
⇢ drabbles
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JISUNG
given | 4.5k s, a ↳ succubus!reader.
strawberries | 5k s ↳ established relationship [minho]. boyfriend’s best friend [jisung]
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FELIX
⇢ drabbles
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SEUNGMIN
honey | 3k s, f ↳ established relationship. poly [minho].
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JEONGIN
⇢ drabbles
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3K notes · View notes
ning2lilac · 4 months
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RED STRING GONE WRONG
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PAIRINGS: haechan, jaemin, mark x fem!reader
TAGS: fluff, angst, humour, college au, smau + written au
SYNOPSIS: Only some are lucky enough to see the red strings of fate. YN is one of the gifted ones; however, she was never able to meet her soulmate. But what happens when suddenly one day she meets him...and him...and him? What do you do in cases where your string is connected to three different people? Do you have to be the one to choose?
WARNINGS: suggestive humour
UPDATES: Wednesdays and Fridays
no taglist
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CHAPTERS
0. characters 01
CHAPTER 0: YN’s SOULMATE?
CHAPTER 1: MEETING HIM
CHAPTER 2: HE’S WELL…
CHAPTER 0.1: GROUPCHATS
CHAPTER 3: CUTE FLATMATE
CHAPTER 4: LEE HAECHAN
CHAPTER 5: WAIT HE’S MY SOULMATE TOO?
CHAPTER 6: AM I A JOKE TO DESTINY?
CHAPTER 7: HE WILL NEVER KNOW
CHAPTER 8: DO ME A FAVOUR
CHAPTER 9: FIND HIM
CHAPTER 10: OPERATION SOULMATE PT.1
CHAPTER 11:
CHAPTER 12:
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bluehoodiewoozi · 9 months
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Broken Pieces
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Lee Jihoon x fem!Reader
Genre: angst, fluff
Words: 5,3k
Warnings: protective bff & bias wrecker Choi Seungcheol; adult language; dumb and dumber, featuring awkward interactions.
[Soulmate AU] Your friend broke your soulmate's heart, leaving you to pick up the pieces of both his and your own heart.
(A spin-off / sequel to my soulmate!Kwon Soonyoung fic: "Right? Right.")
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Your soulmate mark was a cat – just as your grandmother had predicted. Perhaps she knew what was good for you, perhaps she just knew you – either way she had been correct.
It was a doodle of a small fluffy cat who always seemed to be either busy or sleeping. Just like the marks of your friends, the cat went about its day on your wrist like an alive tattoo. Sometimes it slept, sometimes it read a book, sometimes it played piano – you wondered if your soulmate did the same.
The mark appeared on your sixteenth birthday and while you hoped you’d find your soulmate soon, it would be years until you saw him for the first time.
Your second year at university. That is when you met Lee Jihoon – handsome, soft-spoken, full of smiles and hope. He had chosen the same minor subject as you. 
At first you thought he was just another guy you’d have a crush on – just a hopeless short-term fantasy until you’d find the perfect person. But you were proven wrong four weeks into knowing him.
“Woah, careful there,” he spoke as he gently pushed you back upright after you had stumbled in the café. Queues are dangerous, you knew that already, but suddenly they were also a blessing. 
The moment his fingers touched your skin, a jolt of electricity ran through you. He seemed to pay it no mind, only offering you a friendly smile before turning back to his girlfriend. 
When you looked at your mark, the cat was clawing as if to break out of your skin and run to him. When you glanced at his wrist, a similar doodle – a spotted cat – was just as excited to meet your mark.
That was when you knew – Lee Jihoon was your soulmate. 
But the smile he offered to her told you that you stood no chance. Even if the fates had meant for you to meet and fall in love, your heart seemed to be meant to break. 
You cried yourself to sleep that night – whether from heartbreak or from the joy of finally finding him, you weren’t sure.
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Months passed of just watching him. You didn’t dare to make conversation, didn’t dare to even look at him for long. Your heart ached for him. 
It was unfair to break his heart for stupid revenge. It was unfair to do his heart any harm at all. He deserved better.
Jihoon’s heart that held so much love once, and now you wondered if he would ever be able to feel love again at all – you didn’t think you would. Even just watching his heart break from the sidelines had been too painful. 
“Have you considered talking to him for a change?” Seungcheol suggested when he caught you staring at Jihoon at lunch. You failed to feel any amusement at his words even as he laughed at you.
Instead, you offered him a mild glare. “You think he’d want to talk to anybody after what he went through?”
“I mean,” Seungcheol thought for a moment before grimacing, “yeah, you have a point there.”
“I always have a point, Cheol,” you told him proudly and continued eating your food. “Besides, he probably wouldn’t talk to one of her friends anyway.”
Her. Han Eunmi. The girl who claimed to be his soulmate and broke his heart into a thousand pieces before you could tell him the truth and save him.
She had been your first friend at university. Her bright eyes and sweet smile were always the first to greet you in lectures. She always saved you a seat, even to this day. But something in her changed when she met her soulmate – you could barely recognise her anymore. Your best friend was your best friend no more.
“You should just grow some balls and tell him,” Seungcheol told you once again. He was all too familiar with the distant vengeful glint in your eyes. 
You wanted to kick him. “Says the one that still keeps covering his mark because of his commitment issues?” 
Glancing down at the near-comical amount of chain bracelets and the raccoon doodle sniffing around under them on his wrist, he pouted at your words. “I just don’t love the thought of soulmates.”
“No,” you laughed, “you just don’t like the thought of possibly getting your heart broken.”
“Then what’s your excuse?” 
Back when you first met him, you had felt so hopeful, so excited for your future. Watching him from afar was one thing, standing side-to-side with him in the café line was different. You could practically feel the fluffy cat on your wrist tugging you closer to him, scratching and jumping every time you moved your arm. 
But then she had uttered those words and your world collapsed inwards: “This is my boyfriend.” Even now you feel a little nauseous thinking about the moment: the self-satisfied smile on her face, the love-sick smile on his, his arm around her waist. You couldn’t even replay the memory in your head without wanting to cry.
You glanced towards Jihoon.
“He already got his heart broken,” you mumbled to Seungcheol dejectedly. “I don’t want to add to his problems.”
“I feel like finding his real soulmate would be the opposite of a problem for that poor guy,” Seungcheol said – no, stated. He was certain of his words. 
You wished they were true. With a sigh, you whispered, “Just leave it, Cheol. There’s no point anymore. If I was in his shoes, I wouldn’t even believe in soulmates anymore.”
It was obvious by the look in his eyes that Seungcheol wanted to argue. But he knew you well enough to not push it anymore.
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“For this project, I need you guys to pair up,” professor Byun started, sounding about as tired as you felt in this 8 am class. Maybe he, too, craved an early coffee that he’d failed to acquire in his hurry to get to class on time. The thought made him a little more tolerable in your eyes.
“Do you guys want to pair up on your own or should I just do it myself?” he asked the class, but his eyes were practically begging you to choose the first option. Unluckily for your introvert self, the class immediately called out to pair up among themselves. He breathed out in relief just as you sighed in defeat. 
“Alright, I’ll give you guys…” He glanced at his watch and nodded. “Ten minutes to pick a partner and a movie from this list. Remember to write your names next to the movie title in the shared document on so that others know it’s taken. I’ll go and get some coffee in the meantime.”
As you looked around the lecture room, you found yourself making a wish for the floor to swallow you whole. 
No one in your limited friend group had picked this film studies class – most of them citing the 8 am time slot as the reason –, so who were you supposed to partner up with? A stranger who more than likely wouldn’t do any of the work or – even better and your personal favourite – would drop out of the course in the coming week and leave you without as much as a note. 
“Hey,” you then heard his voice and you didn’t know whether you felt nauseous from fear or excitement. You turned your head to find Jihoon standing right there, hand on the chair next to you, a tired look on his face – the same look he’d been wearing since Eunmi crushed his heart in her hands with a giggle. He took a deep hesitant breath. “Do you want to– You don’t have to but I don’t know anyone else in this class… So, maybe, you and I–”
Though a little breathless that he was even talking to you, you straightened in your seat and nodded. “Sure, we can partner up.”
A polite smile appeared on his lips before he pulled out a chair and sat next to you. He glanced at the film list projected onto the room’s screen. “So… Do you have a particular film you want to pick for this?”
You shook your head. “I was hoping you did.”
He grimaced and chuckled. “Well, at least we’re on the same page about that.”
As if we’re soulmates or something. You almost uttered those words. You were glad you caught them before they slipped out.
“Let’s–”
“Should we–”
“Oh.” He laughed. “You go first.”
“No, you.”
“No, you–” He sighed before suggesting, “First free film on the list?”
You nodded immediately. That had been your thought as well, after all. 
“So, what film is it?” he wondered, leaning over to read your laptop screen. Your rational brain wanted to shove him away; your emotional brain wanted to pull him even closer. It was hard to get anything done in that condition. 
You pulled yourself together, ignoring the sweet scent of his cologne and the almost-there tickle of his hair against yours, and scrolled through the shared document. “Let’s see… The Pianist, 2002.”
Jihoon’s brows rose in surprise. “I do love pianos.”
“I doubt it has a lot to do with pianos,” you mumbled, but didn’t need any further confirmation to put your names down next to the title. Both of your names. Next to each other. Your heart stuttered at the sight.
“It has to have at least a little bit to do with pianos,” he insisted with furrowed brows. You laughed, earning a disbelieving wide-eyed look from him. “No? You’re doubting it?”
“Maybe.”
He shook his head in mock disappointment before relaxing in his chair again. “So, when do you want to work on this project? I’m free to meet on Mondays.”
It was your turn to look at him with wide eyes, lips parting in surprise. “You… want to meet? In person?”
He blinked. “Yes? Like normal people? Is there something wrong with that?”
“No, no, it’s just that–” You took a deep breath under his watchful eyes. “I figured that after what happened with Eunmi, you’d–”
“Dig myself a cave to die in? Stop socialising completely?” He sighed and looked away. “Look: as long as you don’t bring her around to our meetings, we’ll be fine. I just– I don’t even want to be in the same building as her.” His gaze was sharp when he looked at you again. “And I’m only tolerating you because of this class.”
Were words supposed to hurt like that?
“So, Monday, in the library?” he spoke again as if he hadn’t just thrown a metaphorical dagger into your heart. 
You nodded. “I’ll see you Monday.”
He didn’t speak another word to you in that entire class.
Seungcheol was quick to notice your mood being more dejected than usual at lunch. Affectionate by nature, his fingers reached across the picnic table to find yours and give them a little squeeze.
The gesture only made you want to cry more: why couldn’t he be your soulmate instead?
“Did something happen in class?” he asked, eyeing you cautiously. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s nothing.” A complete lie and even he knew it.
He called out your name in a warning tone – like a father getting ready to reprimand his rebellious child. “What happened and what can we do to fix it?”
“I don’t think there’s any way to fix anything,” you mumbled and lifted your fork to your lips to take a bite of your lunch. There was no joy in the taste of your favourite meal on this day.
Seungcheol frowned. “Is this about Jihoon again? What happened this time?” 
“He wanted to pair up for a project,” you told him and his expression morphed into a bright smile – one that screamed “See! I told you he’d see the light!” – but his face promptly dropped into a scowl when you added on, “and then he told me that he only tolerated me because of our film studies class.”
“He said that?” he spoke lowly. 
“His exact words.” It wasn’t even like he actually intentionally broke your heart. It must have been the stupid soulmate bond acting up and making you more emotional about this than necessary. “I don’t know why I’m so sad about this.”
“He’s cruel. That’s why.” 
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true though. He’s cruel and he’s dumb and he doesn’t deserve you.” He nodded his head in confirmation when you looked up at him again. 
You scoffed out a laugh. “Why do you think he’s dumb anyway? He does well in our classes.”
“He may be academically gifted but he had his soulmate under his goddamn nose this whole time and he didn’t even realise,” he practically whined. “If that’s not dumb, I’m the king of Korea.”
You contemplated for a moment. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should just give up this fantasy of mine and find someone who actually likes me.”
“You– I–” His frown deepened almost comically. “That is not what I meant at all.”
“You just said–”
“Stop listening to what I say!”
You rolled your eyes. “Thank god you’re not my soulmate.”
“Okay, I’m not that bad.”
“You’re awful.”
“And yet you stick around.”
Your gaze drifted to where Jihoon was seated under a maple tree with his friends. “Maybe I just have bad taste.”
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[I’ll be waiting at 3 in the library. Room A232. – Jihoon]
Seungcheol mumbled something under his breath as he accompanied you to the library. Before you could ask him about it, he turned to you. “Can’t you just tell him you’re his soulmate? What’s the worst that could happen?”
You stared at him. He quickly realised the error of his words.
“I just mean that maybe he’d like to know. Maybe he’d act a little warmer towards you if he did.”
“I don’t know what you’re expecting him to treat me like,” you said. “He knows me as Eunmi’s friend. As someone complicit in the worst lie of his life. He’s treating me very nice all things considered.”
“Well, he still should know,” he decided. “If you don’t tell him, I will.”
You rolled your eyes. “Whatever you say, big guy. I’ll see you in the journalism section in a few hours?”
He sighed. “As always. Wake me up when you’re ready to go.”
And just like that, he picked a direction and headed that way – to his lonely little napping spot between shelves of journalism guidebooks. It was a good thing he got along so well with the librarians.
Though you weren’t a stranger to this library, you still felt a little out of place this time. Maybe it was the nerves of meeting Jihoon again. You hadn’t seen him even once outside of the one film studies class you both took. 
Or perhaps you were just anxious about the fact that you had failed to watch the film due to reasons out of your control. Lee Jihoon was notorious for having a short fuse with his peers. You weren’t sure you could handle falling even further down his list.
The plaque on the door read A232. You double-checked it. Triple. Four times. Five–
Jihoon startled you by opening the door. “Are you going to come in or do you expect a formal invitation?”
“I… was just checking,” you mumbled and brushed past him into the little study room. You placed your things down opposite of the seat he had occupied. This was it – the end of your life. You hadn’t even said goodbye to Seungcheol. You sighed, closed your eyes in anticipation of the scolding that would follow, and confessed, “I didn’t watch the film. I’m sorry.”
You were ready for an onslaught of sharp words, the scolding of a lifetime, maybe even some screaming and him telling you that you were just as bad as Eunmi.
But it never came. 
He sat down and hummed. “Yeah, I didn’t have time to watch it either.”
Dumbfounded, you opened your eyes to stare at him. He felt your gaze on him and looked up from his screen with an awkward tight-lipped smile. “What?”
“I thought you’d yell at me,” you spoke faster than your filter could catch. 
He chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. “I thought you were going to yell at me.”
“What now?” you thought out loud. You hadn’t prepared for this scenario, not even close.
Jihoon made faces – scrunching up his face and frowning between silly smiles and pursed lips – as he considered the options. “We could… watch it now?”
“Like, now?”
He nodded slowly. “I don’t have any plans for the next couple of hours. Do you?” You shook your head, too speechless to actually respond. “Then let’s watch it. I have a speaker somewhere in my bag– Hold on. I’ll get it.”
Your brain was severely lagging behind. You hadn’t even realised the implications of his words. Your jaw dropped. “You mean–? You want to watch it together? Here?”
“I mean,” he paused and looked at you, “I wouldn’t mind picking a different place. We could go to the courtyard. Or a café. Well, probably not a café but–”
“There’s a lounge room on the third floor,” you blurted out. “There are sofas and a vending machine.”
Jihoon brightened up at your words. “That sounds perfect. Let’s go?”
“Sure,” you breathed out, unable to believe this was happening at all. 
It took barely 5 minutes for the two of you to get to the lounge room. Jihoon was quick to occupy a three-person sofa in the corner of the room, right between the vending machine and the ceiling high window. With a victorious smile, he patted the spot next to him. 
You must have been too slow for his liking because tilted his head to the side, eyes still on you. “Did you want this spot instead? I’m okay with either. Just say the word.”
You said nothing and took the spot he had previously offered. The less you spoke, the less likely you were to piss him off – it was only logical. 
As you sat there and waited for him to set up his laptop and speaker, you glanced at your wrist. The fluffy cat on your skin was endlessly, tirelessly running towards him, looking back at you as if to convince you to reach for Jihoon. 
You looked to his wrist instead, wondering, perhaps hoping that you’d find a similar doodle trying to get to you. Even if it just glanced, just to confirm. But his soulmate mark was hidden, covered with a black wrist support.
He glanced back at you before lifting said wrist. “Are you looking at this?”
Cursing yourself for getting caught staring, you nodded and tried to act like your ears and cheeks weren’t burning. 
He shrugged. “My wrist hurts sometimes. Nothing to worry about.”
Deflecting. You knew him well enough to know that even if he was telling the truth, it was only half of one. He was lying to save his pride.
“My roommate has the same one,”  you said, deciding to go along with his narrative. “She says it doesn’t help a lot though.”
“It’s the cheapest one I could find,” he replied with a shrug before turning back to his laptop, searching for the film. “Do you live at the dorms?”
“Yep.” But he knew this already. He used to visit Eunmi there, right across the hall from you. You cleared your throat and willed the thought to go away. “That’s why I didn’t manage to watch the film. I was going to watch it over the weekend, but the dormitory wi-fi was the slowest it has ever been.”
He scoffed on your behalf. “That sounds awful. What did you do in the meantime then?”
“My roommate had to bring out the board games. So, Monopoly.”
He laughed and sat back on the sofa, leaning closer to you to hear more. “That almost sounds even worse. Any friendships ruined that night?”
“No, no, you don’t understand,” you laughed along, almost forgetting you were nervous to be around him in the first place, “we played Monopoly for two days straight. The same game. It just didn’t end. My roommate and her boyfriend are no longer on speaking terms.”
“Monopoly truly does ruin relationships.” He laughed harder, almost leaning against you entirely in the fit of giggles. “Did you win? Who won?”
“I came in third place.”
“Out of three?”
You nodded shamefully as he laughed even harder, this time fully resting his head on your shoulder. He quickly leaned away though, much to your disappointment, but his giggles never ceased. It was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard.
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Despite the shared laughter at your study sessions and sitting together in class, Jihoon never acknowledged you outside of the lecture room. He barely even glanced your way when you passed him in the hallways; he definitely never returned any waves or even nods. You weren’t sure whether to laugh or cry.
Seungcheol was left to gather the pieces of your confidence. Though he was vehement that there was no soulmate for him and he’d be happy being single his entire life, he refused to let you suffer the same fate. 
It was already getting painful to watch you mimic his habit: hiding the fluffy cat under a variety of bracelets and wristbands, covering it with long sleeves whenever the weather allowed. Your hope had turned into anxiety in front of his very eyes and he’d be damned if he let you continue down this path.
“If you don’t tell him, I will.” – he was going to stand by these words. Even when you practically begged him not to.
“He won’t like it,” you’d told him. 
“He’d be upset with the both of us,” you’d scolded him when he presented the idea again two weeks later.
“Why would he even believe you?” you’d scoffed.
He decided he’d make Jihoon believe him. So, after sending you off to class, he located your soulmate in the same lounge room you’d introduced to him. He was even resting on the same sofa.
Seungcheol stood in front of him and cleared his throat. 
Jihoon straightened up immediately at that, pulling his laptop screen down. “Can I help you with something?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“About…?” Jihoon scoffed when Seungcheol offered him no further context. “Listen, if this is about something (Y/n) said or did–”
“She never told you, did she?” he asked. “You still don’t know.”
His counterpart blinked. “Know what? What is this? Do you have no one else to play mind games with?”
“Jihoon,” he sighed, “she’s your soulmate.”
His words were met with a frown. “What nonsense are you speaking now? No, first you barge in here, and now you’re making up stories– Does she know you’re here?”
“She knows I made a promise. For her.” Seungcheol closed his eyes and spoke as calmly as he could, “She’s your soulmate. She’s the little spotted cat on your wrist. You’ve been breaking her heart this entire time and I’m sick of it.”
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Jihoon’s frown deepened. His hand clenched into a fist in his lap as he spoke, “If she’s– Why didn’t she say anything?”
“That you’ll have to ask her yourself. I just came here to balance the scales – it seemed unfair that she suffer with the knowledge but you break her heart with every word.” Seungcheol sighed and opened his eyes again, gaze hardening. “What you do with this knowledge is up to you. But if you break her heart any further, I will break you.”
You were blissfully unaware of your best friend’s actions. In fact, you hadn’t seen him since lunch. You had been preoccupied with making the slides of your film studies presentation more, –well–, presentable.
The courtyard was a perfect spot for drawing inspiration for slide designs: the fresh air did wonders to your brain and the constant distant chatter of your fellow students served as white noise. You were on a roll. 
Who knows, you thought to yourself, maybe Jihoon will even grace you with his proud smile when you show him the presentation.
Suddenly, a strange feeling filled you. You habitually glanced down at your wrist – the cat was standing on his hind legs, as if trying to peek over a fence to see what was in front of you. Like he was expecting his owner back from a long trip.
“So it really is you,” you then heard his voice. 
Your head snapped up to look at Jihoon standing right in front of you, his eyes trained on his own wrist – miraculously uncovered this time, the usual black band crumpled in his other hand. 
Your voice and words betrayed you, they left you fighting in the battle field all alone. You gulped. Instead of acknowledging his words, as if doing so would make the situation disappear, you turned your laptop his way. Your voice wavered as you told him, “I made some changes to the slides. Thought it would look better if we made them prettier. What do you think?”
But Jihoon kept staring at his wrist as if you weren’t even there. How could he not stare at the spotted cat he’d spent all these years mindlessly glancing at, following, and talking to in the moonlight? The cat who had once stood for a broken dream now stood for a new hope. 
Finally, he tore his eyes from the cat – the mark of you – and looked at you instead. There was something so incredibly sorrowful about the look in his eyes, you could barely fight the urge to cry. He didn’t bother to do the same. 
A tear slipped down his cheek as he shakily breathed out. “You could’ve told me, (Y/n). Why wouldn’t you– Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was afraid,” you confessed, avoiding his eyes. “I didn’t think you’d want to know. Not after what she did to you.”
He scoffed. “You watched her lie and break my heart and it never occurred to you to just… tell me? To just say you were the one? That I was looking the wrong way?”
You wanted the ground to take you away. It would’ve hurt less than this confrontation. All of these eyes curiously watching from a distance, the whole campus witnessing him breaking your heart – it was too much. Even if he was right to be mad. 
“Jihoon…”
“What were you so afraid of?” he wondered, frown deepening and voice raising by the word. “That I would reject you in favour of her? That she would stop being your friend because you foiled her plans? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but she’s clearly not a good friend so why are you still siding with her?!”
“I’m not!”
“It sure seems that way!”
You glared at him. “I stopped talking to Eunmi the minute she told me what she had done!” 
Jihoon expression softened at your words. So did yours. You sniffled. “I had already let her go too far because she was the only friend I had when I first came here. She was the only friend I had known. I didn’t want to lose both my best friend and my soulmate. I thought–” You took a deep breath and avoided his eyes. “I thought if I couldn’t have my soulmate, I’d at least have a loyal friend who wouldn’t let me feel lonely. I was mistaken.”
Running his fingers through his hair, he sighed. His arm dropped, his eyes following as if to make sure the spotted cat remained. 
“You should’ve told me,” he whispered once again before stepping closer, crouching to your level. He sighed once more. Then you felt warm fingers around your wrist. “Had you told me–”
“Just reject me and be done with it,” you begged. “Don’t make this even worse. I deserve my heart shattered, but at least make it quick.”
He frowned. “You didn’t even let me finish.”
“Then finish quicker. I still have a presentation to–”
“Had you told me,” he started again, more assertively this time, his hand holding yours tightly as if to anchor you to him, “I would’ve rejected her and run to you back then already. I would’ve believed you without any hesitation. But seeing as that didn’t happen,” he sighed and you braced yourself for a proper heartbreak, “I guess we’ll just have to make up for lost time.”
Your heart stopped beating. At least it felt like it did. Your eyes widened while searching his. Instead of a scowl or a frown or a glare, you found yourself on the receiving end of a fond smile. 
Your jaw dropped. “Are you serious?!”
“As serious as Seungcheol is about breaking me if I break your heart,” he promised with a soft laugh. His fingers still never left your hand, only sliding down to lock with yours.
You groaned and closed your eyes in despair. “...He’s the one that told you.”
“I’m glad he did,” he laughed, “because I don’t think you would’ve told me for a while, and I certainly wouldn’t have figured it out anytime soon.”
“We’re both dumb, aren’t we?” you mumbled, finally opening your eyes again once the embarrassment faded. 
“Complete idiots, the both of us.”
“Soulmates,” you joked.
“Soulmates,” he confirmed with a laugh.
You still wondered though. “Why aren’t you more mad at me?”
He shrugged and sat down next to you, shoulder to shoulder, on purpose this time. “I thought I was at first. But I don’t think you’re at fault for what Eunmi did to me. You were just trying your to be a good friend.” Seeing your sheepish smile, he nudged you playfully before whispering, “Plus, I’m not entirely sure I could take Seungcheol in a fight.”
You laughed. “I guess that’s one perk of being his friend.”
Jihoon smiled. “He seems like a great friend. I like him better than I liked Eunmi.”
“I do too.”
“What do you say we give this a proper try?” he suggested, holding out his hand for you to take, the doodle-like cat on his wrist full on display.
You smiled. When you lifted your hand to meet his, the fluffy cat rushed to meet his spotted one where your skin touched. Their noses pressed together happily, the cats nuzzling into each other’s necks after finally meeting each other after all this time of being so close but never close enough. 
“I’d like that,” you told him and he breathed out in relief. 
With the awkward distance out of the way, sitting beside him didn’t feel as nerve-wracking as it once had. It felt natural to be in his presence now. You wondered if you’d be drawn to him soon, just as your soulmate marks were drawn to each other.
“How did you find me here anyway?” you asked him after a moment of silence.
He shrugged. “I followed the cat. Figured that if Seungcheol was right, the mark would lead me right to you.” He gestured around. “It did.”
“Huh.” You pursed your lips in thought before giggling. “I guess I should’ve tried that when I was looking for you earlier.”
“Earlier? Today?” he wondered.
You remembered your laptop all of a sudden, pulling it closer to the two of you. “I made some changes to our presentation. I wanted to show you and then we could maybe work on it a little. Hold on.”
“Right now?” He seemed amused at the idea when you nodded. “Sure, we could do that. Or, – hear me out –, we could go on a little date to make up for lost time.”
But as tempting as that sounded… 
“The presentation is due tomorrow morning, Jihoon.”
He grimaced. “Brunch date tomorrow then?”
“... I could fit that into my schedule.”
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Note: I only wrote this so I'd have an excuse to later write cute university boyfriend / soulmate Jihoon fics as sequels lol
464 notes · View notes
yeonjunszn · 11 months
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ASAP!
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PAIRING! mark lee x f!reader
GENRES! fluff﹒crack﹒slice of life?
WARNINGS! as per usual, it is not a yeonjunszn smau without my sailors mouth — so mature language, coffee shop!au cause i work in one and couldn’t resist myself, this smau is actually a recreation of a yeonjun smau called cool it! by my bff past tumblr user yuitaru, manager mark era, kinda dumb reader (affectionate) era, milf lover jeno, insane jaemin and hyuck, chenle in his nepotism baby era tbh, there’s a fight scene somewhere, also annoying fluffy cute disgusting scenes here and there, an overt amount of coffee shop/barista references bc i am a master at my craft, mr. choi yeonjun has a cameo to pay homage to the original cool it!, ignore time stamps cause i was lazy lol, lmk if i missed anything!
FEAT! the rest of nct dream, yangyang + xiaojun + hendery from wayv, chaewon from le sserafim, sumin from stayc, mingi + the rest of the ateez ‘99 line, and yeonjun from txt
SUMMARY! you’re not exactly the best barista at zhong coffee, but for some unknown reason (his massive crush on you), mark thinks you can do no wrong. sick and tired of his favoritism and your lack thereof due to absolute obliviousness, your coworkers are determined to fix this problem. asap.
STATUS! completed!
BEGINNING! june 1, 2023
END! august 31, 2023
MORE! HELLOOOO im back bffs 😵 did u miss me??? i have a quick little disclaimer for u guys so i don’t get accused of stealing 😻😻😻🫶
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thank u so much to rina my bff bestie soulmate for giving me the rights to recreate cool it! and sort of bring back such a fun smau </3 i’ve been working on asap! for quite some time now, between work and school, and i’m so excited i can finally share her with all of u 🫶 i do plan on going back to all my works that are on hold (including my 1k event LOL) but i was sort of burnt out for a while which is why i did all this in absolute silence 😋👍 anyway!! i hope i did her justice <3 send an ask to join the taglist!!
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PROFILES! mark’s biggest haters | espresso patronum | the rest of chenle’s coffee maids
ONE! please no tweeting on the clock, y/n!
TWO! manager zoned is crazy
THREE! BACK OF THE LINE PAL
FOUR! go work at mcdonald’s or something
FIVE! common chenle L
SIX! i always knew u were a furry
SEVEN! call me karen from mean girls
EIGHT! mark antis 1 - mark 0
NINE! the best ever (1.1k)
TEN! NANEUN ALCOHOL-FREE GEUNDE CHWIHAE
ELEVEN! YESSSS GO GIRL BOSS
TWELVE! i don’t owe u shit freeloader
THIRTEEN! force and sheer determination
FOURTEEN! yoooo mark how it be? what it do?
FIFTEEN! pick me choose me
SIXTEEN! lunch break (499)
SEVENTEEN! DONG SICHENG ?
EIGHTEEN! hey guys this is god
NINETEEN! i will force his hand into a blender
TWENTY! chocolate croissant (841)
TWENTY ONE! #xiaojun_out
TWENTY TWO! grinders and coffee beans (951)
TWENTY THREE! what is a marky/n
TWENTY FOUR! shaking shivering sobbing
TWENTY FIVE! every summertime (1.08k)
TWENTY SIX! worlds worst barista. fired.
TWENTY SEVEN! cool it
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© yeonjunszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
825 notes · View notes
wongyuuu · 5 months
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memories of us | lsm
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pairing: seokmin x f!reader - soulmate!au summary: every night seokmin dreams of his past lifes, when he met and fell for his soulmate countless times. genre: fluff, angst word count: 11.9k warnings: reader has really low self esteem a/n: this is not, in any way, connected to elevator. both stories are centered around soulmates, however the rules are different. in elevator people carry marks that vanish from their bodies once they meet their soulmate, here is the bond is created by eye contact. i hope you enjoy it :)
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Today, when I woke up, the first thing I thought about was you, but that’s not something new. You’re always the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last one before I go to sleep. My mind is consumed by thoughts of you the entire day. There’s not a single minute when you don’t make your presence noticed,  even if you’re not really here by my side. The funny thing is that I haven’t met you yet and somehow you are the only one in my mind. 
I started to dream of you when I was sixteen. At the time I had no idea of what was going on, I didn’t know what Memorous were, and I couldn’t even phantom why I was dreaming of an older version of myself. I was young and the naive teenager version of me thought that it was something everyone goes through. Ah, maybe these are memories from my past lives. I was right about that part, but I didn’t know the length of what was going on with me. 
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It was only a month later when I told anyone about it. Because those dreams were something no one ever mentioned around me before, so I was afraid to speak about them. What if, because of those dreams, people started to label me as a freak? I had already a very negative reputation, so to say, I didn’t want to make it worse. When I finally mustered the courage to talk to someone about it, I figured that I should tell my mom about it. She was a mother, my mom, and like all moms she would probably know what to do. 
She didn’t. 
For a while, she just sat there and stared at me, not like I was a freak but as if I had become a stranger. I was no longer Lee Seokmin, her eldest son who on most days seemed like the youngest. I saw her eyes change that day, from a mother who loved her son to a woman who didn’t know who the boy in front of her was.  
It was also the first time that someone told me that I was cursed.  
None of us could be sure whether I was cursed or not, but she said it with so much belief that I knew that it had to be true. 
I don’t think I have ever felt so alone. Before my mother said those words to me, those words that would be forever stuck in my brain, you are cursed, Seokmin, and there’s nothing any of us can do to change that, I used to be normal - or as normal as a sixteen-year-old hyperactive boy could be. But the second those words were uttered, released into the world, something inside me changed.   
I think that the best way to describe it would be a click, I felt a click inside my heart. There’s no other word I could use to describe it. 
After everything that happened in the span of minutes, I changed. I started to be more restricted, no one else in the world knew about the dreams or about me being a Memorous. My circle of friends got smaller and smaller. What if, by accident, I told one of them something about the dreams, about you? That couldn’t happen. 
In reality, I didn’t have many friends. You know, the kind you tell secrets to and are really close to. Those were the kinds of people that I wanted to avoid at all costs. I wasn’t a loner, though. I had people I could hang out with, people that I would go to a bar or a club with, but I liked to be alone. 
It’s weird, isn’t it? I had friends but I wasn’t actually friends with any of them. I wasn’t a loner but the thing I enjoyed the most was being alone. 
When I turned eighteen and high school was finally over, I moved away from home. For two years I saved every cent that I could, my main goal was to just leave. I studied my eyes off in school so I could get into a university that was as far away as possible from home. I needed to get a scholarship so I wouldn’t need to ask for help from my parents. 
Doing those two things made me feel somewhat proud of myself. It was like I was telling them see just because you think I’m cursed doesn’t mean that I can’t do what I want. 
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 Let me explain to you how the dreams work: every night I dream of you, no exception but every night is a different life. 
This is how Memorous must live. I remember every single thing about our past lives, all the details that people usually forget about their lives. I remember them, more or less. I know what you were wearing on April 18th, 1811; I know what was the first word you said to me in Madrid, it was a curse by the way; the first time we bonded.  
Sometimes it feels so real that I think if I look by my side, I’ll see you there. That couldn’t be true, I haven’t seen you in this lifetime - I would never be able to let you go if I had. 
There’s a trick about being a Memorous though. Once I fall asleep and dream of a different life everything I dreamed the night before vanishes and I can’t remember anything. At first, I thought that it happened like that because sometimes we forget about the dreams we have. It was as if it simply vanished from my mind, and I could only remember it when I dreamt of the same life again. It’s like a selective memory kind of thing. 
You know, the feeling of a dream being so real that you could either wake up in panic or just really happy and satisfied? 
For me, every dream was like that. If I held your hand in my dream, when I woke up I would still get the feel of your skin against mine; if we fought for whatever reason I would still feel the sadness and the anger lingering in my body. 
When I understood what was happening, I started to write down the dreams, every little detail that I could remember. Slowly I started to find a pattern in the dreams, slowly I learned to tell the lives apart and so I started notebooks. It’s a little weird, I know, but I had to keep track of our lives. Maybe, at some level, you might think that I’m crazy or that I’m a stalker. But could it be considered stalking when it’s my own life? 
I can’t wait to meet you.  Although I haven’t actually met you or even seen you this time around, I feel like I have known you all my life. Is this the feeling we’ll get when we finally meet, this feeling of fullness? 
I wonder if you feel that too. 
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Out of all our lives together I have a favorite one. I mean, it is expected, isn’t it? After such a long time of living countless lives, every day being a different person - although I’m ultimately the same - we are bound to have a favorite one. 
If I do say so myself that life is very much Shakespearean. Okay, so imagine this: two families who were very powerful but were opposites and hated each other with a burning passion. And there you have it. Sounds very much like Romeo and Juliet, doesn’t it? Maybe if it happened a couple hundred years earlier, in England, then maybe I could say that we actually inspired him, but we happened far too late. 
You know, I still remember the first time I saw you that time around. I think that maybe that bond was the strongest one we’ve had, probably because we were supposed to hate each other. The idea of an unexpected bond between two opposite families is kind of thrilling, isn’t it? 
We met at a party. Because our families couldn’t even stand to be in the same space together, mostly our dads - why is it always the dads though? -, they send you and me to represent the families. As you can probably imagine, we had no idea of what the other person looked like. 
So, there I was walking inside this immense ballroom, and you were the first person I saw. Looking at you I just knew that you were out of place, that kind of environment wasn’t one you felt comfortable in. At that point, you weren’t looking at me but when you finally did, it was like the entire world stopped. I felt my heart thump inside my chest, but I could feel you too. I saw as you went wide-eyed. You took a step closer to me but then, realizing what you did, you took a couple of steps back. For the entire night, we didn’t approach each other but my eyes never left yours, as yours never left mine. 
We followed each other through the night.  I got angry, really angry, when someone wanted to talk to me because all I wanted to do was look at you. Whenever my feelings changed, I would feel yours changing too. You felt mostly curiosity. How could this man, someone you had never seen before, catch your attention in such a way that you couldn’t look at anything or anyone else? 
Back then it wasn’t like today, you know. The bond happened more quietly, or maybe we only thought it did. Though the bond is something that has been around since the beginning of time, we only found out about it much later in life. I suppose that back then we still didn’t know much about it. Maybe the change everyone felt around a couple that was bonding was there but because we didn’t know what it was supposed to be we just overlooked it. 
Back to the story. 
You were the first one to make a move to leave but I couldn’t let you go, no way. I followed you out and much to my own surprise you were waiting for me, because somehow you knew that I had to go after you. We didn’t say much, just promised to meet each other a couple of days later. 
From that moment on, things took off, or as much as you could possibly expect from a couple in the early nineteen century. We would always meet each other. Everything was exciting because no one could know about what we were doing. Besides the whole ‘my family hates yours’ problem that we had, there was also the problem that both of us were promised to other people. You were supposed to marry a young Duque and I had to marry the daughter of a rich family. If we were against it before, imagine what it was like after we found out about how we felt for each other. 
Our happiness didn’t last very long. We were careless and, although we were trying to hide it, we weren’t as stealthy about it as we liked to imagine. 
It’s needless to say that when our families found out they were far from happy. They didn’t try to kill us or anything that dramatic, but they started to rush things. Your marriage that was supposed to happen only a year later was set to two weeks later; mine was happening in a few days. Of course, neither of us accepted that. 
On the night before my wedding, I felt something trying to pull me. It was like my legs were moving on their own and I saw myself walking out of the house and into the city. I found you there, all alone in the middle of the street, staring at the church I was supposed to get married in. I realized then that the sadness I felt was only partially mine, a lot of it was coming from you. I didn’t really understand how it was possible for me to feel everything that you were feeling but I knew that there wasn’t another explanation for it. 
You couldn’t control your emotions and tears were running down your cheeks, you tried hard to push them aside, but it was of no use. The more you tried to make the tears stop the more they fell. I couldn’t control myself by then. You were afraid when my arm went around you but once you knew that it was me you turned in my arms. The tears that ran down your face were no longer out of pain and hurt, they were because we were finally reunited. 
We ran away. We didn’t take anything with us. There was no time to go home and get clothes, or say goodbye. We were sure that if we were together then everything would be alright. Because we had each other nothing in the world nothing could hurt us. 
That's… that’s as far as the dreams go. I’d like to think that we had a happy ending. 
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 Two years into college I finally understood what my mom meant when she said that I am cursed. 
You see, the dreams I have at night are just fragments, tiny little pieces of an entire puzzle. I could only see a day or a week, at most. But the thing is that I only saw us young, meeting, starting the bond, falling in love. Not once did my dreams show us a little older, getting married, having kids, or even if things didn’t work between us. I never dreamed of those things. 
At first, my guess was that the dreams were trying to show me a way to get to you, find you in a world that’s filled with billions of people. That wasn’t the case. 
One night I dreamed of you dying. I woke up in despair. Instead of the sweet dreams, filled with warm touches and whispered words, I faced images of you surrounded by blood, a lifeless body in my arms. 
For a while I wanted to make myself believe that it was just a nightmare, that it would eventually go away but I knew it wasn’t that simple, nothing ever is. 
I kept seeing the same thing for days and every day it got worse and worse. It got to the point where I stopped sleeping at all. Every time I closed my eyes I could see your body on the ground, eyes wide open. I knew that it wasn’t true, but I felt like you were looking at me, like you blamed me for your death. 
I searched it up. If the same thing happened to other Memorous I wanted to know how to make it stop, if I could even do something like that. From task number one I had problems. 
For one, Memorous doesn’t like to be clear about it, we are heavily judged by it because no one understands what it is like to be one. Most people just think that we are making a fuss over nothing, that knowing what your soulmate looks like, what that person likes and dislikes makes it much easier to find the person you are supposed to bond with. What they don’t know is that, like everyone else in the world, people’s taste, personalities and all else changes. In one of your lives, you were a dancer, the stage was your home, and being watched by people was something you thrived off of but in the next one you were a shy girl who couldn’t bear the thought of people looking at her (this actually happened, just so you know). 
Second, there aren’t many Memorous in the world. We are considered an anomaly, there are very few of us. I believe that we will only be able to understand why we are born this way when a scientist is born as a Memorous. 
But not everything is a lost hope! God bless the people who aren’t scared to share their stories because they want to help other people. I found this post, on a very weird and hard to find website, saying that there is a way to break this ‘curse’. That’s the good news. The bad news is that it’s not up to us to end the cycle. Well, technically it is but it’s not a choice that we can make. It’s confusing, I know. 
Apparently, the only way for us to stay together for a long time is if both of us are born Memorous, meaning that you and I must know our past lives. The one who wrote the post was a young boy, claiming that it was his grandparents’ story and that both of them were still alive and fine. 
It’s not much but at least it’s something. I can’t help but wonder if this time around you already know who I am. 
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I saw you today, or at the very least I thought that I did. I looked at my right and you were right there! Your eyes went anywhere but me, it was like you were purposely trying to avoid me. I went after you, called after you (even though I don’t know what you’re called in this life). It seemed that you were running away from me, though I’m sure that wasn’t the case. How could you run from someone you don’t know? 
On days like this, I think I’m starting to lose my mind. The dreams are starting to feel more real than ever, and I don’t know what to do. Is it because we are getting closer to each other? Maybe we are in the same city? I hope so. 
I’ve hoping for something, just a tiny signal, for the longest time. Was today it? I think about seeing you, how the dreams are now just a repeat of all the first meetings before, how every day when I wake up I have a feeling inside my heart telling me that we are getting closer to each other. 
Are we? Does this mean that we are getting closer? 
Maybe this is the universe’s way of letting us know. Because our lives, all of them, have been so messed up that this is fate’s way of apologizing for all the crap that it put us through. 
I’m going to find you soon. Hopefully, wherever you are you’re also looking for me and that will probably make our lives that much easier. 
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You closed the journal and put it aside. You managed to hold yourself back while reading, you didn’t want the tears in the back of your eyes to fall on the pages, the precious pages that told your story through Seokmin’s eyes. 
It had been hard to come to terms with the idea, the fact, that he was your soulmate but over the years you became more and more used to it. Your lives were too different, your backgrounds complete opposites, and yet - somehow - you were it for each other. 
The first time you saw him on TV, you clearly remembered how you felt. It was as if someone had just punched you in the chest. On the other side of the tiny screen was the boy - now the man - you had been dreaming about for years of your life. You never thought that you would find him, especially so soon but then again if you thought about all your dreams, both of you seemed young - maybe even younger than your 25 years. 
You stayed away from the TV for about a month after that, but you knew that it wouldn’t last much longer than that. The entire time Seokmin was in the back of your mind, always making sure that you wouldn’t forget him. That was simply something that would never happen, you forgetting about him - even if that was one of the many things that you wanted to do. Eventually, you found yourself turning the TV on again, watching every single program, every video, and buying any magazine that featured him. 
Thinking back at it, you felt sort of stupid for doing those things and not just trying to look for him. You were right, your soulmate was Seokmin but your own insecurities were holding you back. Out of everything you had, there was one problem you considered to be major: you had nothing to offer him. 
You were the kid no one wanted, the kid that had been tossed into an orphanage at the age of eight, and no one had gone back to take claim. Like a monkey on a tree, you moved from house to house without a chance of staying, even the prospect of making friends didn’t exist. 
Growing up you always dreamed of meeting your soulmate, imagined the way you would finally meet the other person. In your mind you were always the hotshot, someone who could make anything happen with a simple word. As you got older you wanted to just live a decent life but all you had was a shitty rented apartment in a sketchy area of the city, a shower that didn’t run with hot water, and were living paycheck by paycheck. 
That wasn’t the life you wanted, it was a life that you were almost embarrassed over. How could you ever share a life with someone when you could hardly sustain yourself? That wasn’t possible. 
But then it happened. You got dragged by your friend to go to the TV station and watched as Seokmin recorded a program. Jun said that he wouldn’t notice you, that you would sit far in the back, and you could put your bangs down and cover your eyes so there wouldn’t be a single chance of the bond happening. 
It was a lie, you knew that. Jun lied straight to your face, and you let yourself fall for it. You couldn’t say no to him, much less to his kids. Hana was so excited about it. Watching Seokmin on TV was her favorite thing in the world, more than dancing or watching cartoons. He’s pretty and funny, my soulmate has to be just like him, she said. It was funny and endearing to watch. Sometimes you just wanted to meet Seokmin because of her, because she was so in love with him. The day you decided to take a step forward was also the day you took eleven steps back. 
“Are excited?” Jun bumped his shoulder into yours and smiled. 
He could be the kind of person your silly heart would fall for if there weren’t any soulmates. Jun was essentially a good person, with a heart made of gold and filled with so much love that his kids would never go a day in life thinking that he didn’t love them. 
“No" yet another lie. 
You were excited, a little too excited. Or maybe your excitement was actually just fear. Fear that the bond might happen, fear that Seokmin would be disappointed in who you were, fear that maybe your dreams would come true. 
“You said that Seokmin is pretty” Hana called out. 
A moment of weakness that you regretted. 
“Handsome, honey. Boys are handsome” 
She repeated the word a few times as if trying to memorize but everyone knew that she would just keep calling boys pretty. 
“Why are you carrying her around like she’s three?” 
Hana sighed and hugged Jun’s neck, her head on his shoulder. 
“I’m daddy’s little girl” 
Jun looked like he was about to cry and Hanbin just groaned, his sister’s act wasn’t something that he was too fond of. You could only smile at them. They were almost too cute for you to handle. 
You were one of the first people to get in so there were still a lot of empty spots to choose from. The second you and Jun started to move towards the back Hanbin and Hana protested.  Of course, they didn’t want to sit in the back. Besides being kids, and too short to be able to see anything, both liked Seokmin so being too far away was not something that they wanted. In the end, you caved. You couldn’t say no to two kids who were doing the puppy eyes at the same time. 
As minutes went by and the studio got filled with people you started to get nervous. You ran your sweaty hands on your jeans trying to get them dry, but it was useless. Every person who walked inside made your heart skip a beat because you thought that it could be him. It never was. The scared part of your brain told you that it was a good thing, that maybe he wouldn’t show up at all, but the other part, the one that wanted to see him in person just once, told you to just wait a little longer because he was going to show. 
You waited, for over an hour and there was no sign of him. You knew that in this kind of event it could take them a while to get everything sorted but you were told that it shouldn’t take long once you all went inside. 
“Stop,” Jun said, his hand on your arm “Don’t overthink it" 
He was smiling at you kindly. It was the kind of smile that was supposed to calm you down and reassure you and yet all it did was make you even more nervous. 
“What if we bond?” 
“Then you’ll deal with it later” 
What if I don’t know how to deal with it? 
When people started to scream you looked up and saw the host walking in. He talked for a couple of minutes, made a few jokes trying to be funny and then he introduced Lee Seokmin, a TV personality. The crowd went crazy, there was a girl behind you screaming so loud that you thought you’d go deft. 
Seokmin walked in, his characteristic smile in place, as he waved at the audience. 
Seeing him in person made the world slow down, even your own heart. Instead of going crazy, your heart nearly stopped, as the sight of Seokmin put you at ease. Your hands were no longer shaking, you didn’t feel like trying to hide yourself anymore. In fact, seeing him made your soul scream at you it’s him, what are you waiting for? Your soul was begging you to go to him. After all, it knew him, because despite being apart for years it recognized him immediately. 
And then Seokmin looked at you. 
His eyes were on yours as he stood frozen there. You could feel him everywhere. He was shocked, surprised, caught off guard, hopeful, and just so happy. His happiness was contagious because inside you felt happy too. You wanted to stand up and hug him, stay as close as possible to him. The fear you felt for years was momentarily forgotten in the back of your mind. 
Your legs moved before you could even realize what you were doing. You stood up and walked to him, stopping only a couple of steps away from him. You felt his heartbeat like it was just under your skin. Being so close to him made your body tingle in the best way possible. Your entire being was begging you to just take another step, just one closer to him, just so you could touch him and feel him all around you. 
When Seokmin moved forward, his hand raised ready to touch you - just like you wanted to do - you took a step back. Suddenly the realization of what could happen came crashing down around you. Your dreams, and images of Seokmin lying lifeless on the floor that had been engraved in your mind were unexpectedly in your eyes. You could see it coming, your downfall, and the things you dreaded the most, happening. 
“I…” 
Seokmin wanted to say something, anything, but he didn’t know what he was supposed to. What words could he possibly profess that would make the fear running through your body go away? 
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this" 
Turning around and walking away from him might have been the hardest thing you ever did. 
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You tried your best to keep living normally but it was close to impossible. Every second that went by you were reminded of Seokmin, of the broken look on his face when you walked away, of the way he felt like he had somehow done something wrong. And he felt unloved when it was supposed to be just the other way around. Even before the bond, before you had the chance to look at him in the eyes, you already had feelings for him. Perhaps it was because you knew that you were supposed to love him, you knew that once you met him your feelings would be unstoppable, or it was just because he was charming. 
And just how charming he was. 
You didn’t know one single person who disliked him, someone who would flat-out say that there was nothing good to like about him. Everyone loved Seokmin, his easy smile and friendly eyes pulled everyone in. 
“Until when are you going to keep avoiding him?” 
Jun had become the personification of what was happening inside of you. You wanted to meet Seokmin, desperately. You wanted to find out where he was and just go to him, introduce yourself, and just talk to him. Everything seemed so simple inside your mind, and in Jun’s as well, but it was so far from it. 
“You’re just avoiding it, you know that” 
“So, what if I am? I’m sorry if I don’t want to see my soulmate die!” 
You weren’t angry at your friend or even Seokmin, as he would feel sometimes. You were just angry at everyone else, at the world, at destiny, at anyone in the world who decided that it was a good idea to make you see your soulmate die every night. 
“I know that, but wouldn’t it be better if you could spend some time with him? Let’s say that you’ll have six months together, that’s it. No more and no less. Don’t you want to be with him for as long as you possibly can instead of keep hiding in here?” Jun moved his hand showing the lounge of his dance school “Think of all your past lives, about how happy you were because you were with Seokmin. In this life too, shouldn’t you be able to feel that kind of happiness?” 
Jun was the only person who knew that you were Memorous and he was also the only person who would say that there was nothing wrong with it. You aren’t cursed. If you ask me, you are one of the lucky ones. I would anything to have more memories with Seol. He was also the kind of friend who wasn’t scared to say that you were messing up your own life, that you were doing something wrong. Most days he would act like the dad you never had. You were grateful for him, for having someone so eager to make sure that you were happy. 
“Here’s a wild scenario” Jun smiled at Hana, who was running to him, as he stood up “Seokmin doesn’t die" 
His words left you speechless as you watched him move away from you. 
When you got home that day Seokmin’s journals were waiting at your doorstep. 
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Reading Seokmin’s words was much like reading your own. Since you started to have dreams, you thought that you were the only one who felt like that, like the only one who didn’t have anyone else to run to. Yes, both of your lives were very different, the place both of you came from was also different. But looking at it or wasn’t all that different. 
His words and the way he described his feelings for you were the things that made you take a deep breath and go meet him. 
I know that you are scared, I can feel it but please reconsider it. I’ve been waiting for a moment like this for a very long time and I would like to believe that you have too. I’ll be in the city for a few more days so let’s meet. If you don’t come to me, I will go to you. We can’t run away from this. 
Seokmin. 
Somehow you found yourself getting out of your tiny apartment and going towards Seokmin. You knew just how much he could feel your nervousness and yet he tried to stay calm so you could feel at ease too. The entire time, since you left the TV station, you could feel him in your mind and it was like he was talking to you, trying to convince you to meet or just to be comfortable with the idea of him. 
At times you could swear that he was talking to you, his voice clear in your mind. It’s okay, you don’t have to worry. It was like Seokmin himself could read your thoughts. Of course, there were moments when he would feel that spark of fear, and anxiety but most of the time he was in complete control of his emotions. He was doing that for you, there was no mistake, so you felt childish for being all over the place and guilty for bombarding him with emotions that you couldn’t fully grasp. 
That was one of the many reasons why you decided to go to him. His words had been the main reason, but you also wanted to put your heart in peace. From the second you walked away from him your heart had been heavy. It was the kind of emotion that was impossible to verbalize, the only word that could possibly come to mind was lost. Your heart was lost. You walked around feeling like there was a huge part of you missing, your eyes looked for something, someone, that was never there. 
It was like that until you got his journals. Although you didn’t feel whole you could feel that a little piece of you was back. Perhaps it truly wasn’t a part of you, instead what could be the missing was a piece of you never found before. 
The missing piece had always been Seokmin. 
You stopped in front of his door, your hand closed into a fist just an inch away. 
The truth was that everything you felt, every tiny thing, could be summed into just one word: fear. You were scared. 
For years you saw Seokmin die in your dreams, he died in a new way every night. You saw, more times than you could count, the life left his eyes as he took his last breath. Sometimes you would just hear about it from someone, just words thrown into a conversation – words that always managed to break your heart. It never mattered how you found out, it always happened suddenly and unexpectedly. 
Whenever you and he were settling into a life together, when you allowed yourself to love each other freely, it happened. You always thought that your love for him, as his for you, worked like a time bomb. And the moment the bond was made was when your time started to run out. 
The only thing you thought about was how if you never made the bond then Seokmin would be able to live a long and happy life. It was okay if once, just once, you didn’t find your soulmate. As long as Seokmin got to live, you were fine with whatever life threw at you. Many people went through life without ever finding their soulmates but that didn’t mean that they weren’t happy. It just meant that they had to find other ways to be happy. 
“Just, please, knock on the door” 
You turned around, startled by the sudden presence behind you, a voice that you had memorized a long time before meeting the person to whom it belonged. Seokmin was there, looking at you like he had just walked out of some kind of sappy movie with his hair a mess and a hoodie that was at least three sizes bigger than him. 
“How long have you been there?” 
He smiled at you then making you feel like your insides were melting. Seeing him was like making the bond all over again. Your hands were sweating, your heartbeat out of control, slow, fast, and slow. The air around you was heavy and the tension between the two of you was almost palpable, like a thin sheet separating you and him. 
“Long enough to know that you’ve been hesitating, for at least, five minutes” 
How was it possible for him to be so calm when you felt like your heart was about to combust? Having him so close to you made your entire body shake. You almost wanted to take a step back before you fell to your knees. It was like your legs were barely there to support you. 
“I want to say so many things but I’m afraid that if I do, you’ll run away again” 
You shook your head at him. This time around you weren’t leaving or running. You had made it this far, there was no way you were backing down. Somehow, seeing Seokmin in front of you made you feel stronger like you could fight the entire universe just because he was right there by your side. He wasn’t doing anything, but he looked at you like you were everything that he had been waiting for and then some more. 
“I came so that we could talk” you tried to smile in reassurance, for him or yourself you weren’t sure “Do you want to do this here or somewhere else…?” 
“I think that it would be best if we had some privacy” 
You took a step aside to let Seokmin open the door to his hotel room. 
You had always been scared of people, not of what they could do to you in the spot but of what they could cause in the long run. From a young age, you learned that you were alone and that the people around you never really wanted you there. For the foster homes you went through most of your life, you were just a way to get easy money; for your first boyfriend you were just a pity bet; for your high school friends you were just the girl they let hang out with them in exchange for assignments; for your parents, you were just someone, something, that they could easily toss aside when they finally got bored. 
All of those things left deep scars on you. Though you did your best to cover them, they were always there right under the surface. You always smiled at people and made sure to tell them that you were perfectly fine even though you weren’t, even though all you wanted was to curl into yourself and let yourself feel all that pain. 
Jun had been the first person to get through to you, the only one who had stayed long enough for you to think that maybe he was around you because he actually liked you and not because he wanted something from you in return. 
It was true that Seokmin was your soulmate, that once the bond is made someone can never really walk away from it. You knew all of those things, like a book that you were constantly reading. Knowing something is completely different than doing it. The insecurities, always in the back of your mind, screamed at you louder than any belief or hope. Your brain always told you that someone like Seokmin, someone who had everything – and anyone – he could possibly want, would never stay for someone like you, bond or no bond. 
“Do you want something to drink? I can get you anything you want” 
Seokmin opened the door for you and pointed at the couch in front of it. As you had expected his room wasn’t just room, it was like a goddamn apartment – hell it was bigger than half of the houses you went through as a teenager. 
“I… it’s fine. I’m fine” 
Seokmin knew that you weren’t fine but chose to stay quiet about it, he knew that it wasn’t a good idea to tell you just how much of you he could understand. It wasn’t only because he could feel every tiny thing coming from you but also because you were like an open book, filled with words begging to be read. 
“I got your journals,” you said “I also read them” 
Your words made Seokmin sigh in relief. He thought that if you saw his journals, and read his feelings, you would be able to understand how desperate he felt, how much his feelings had been all over the place – despite him trying to remain calm. His feelings mirrored yours very much, almost in every way. 
“Because you shared yours with me, I think it’s only fair if I do the same with you” 
He looked up at you, surprise all over his face as you handed him the small box you had been carrying. 
“I’ve dreamed about you, for the past ten years, too. Every night I saw you and fell for you, every version of you” 
The surprise Seokmin felt, the happiness, and the relief that ran through his body the moment he saw you at his door was almost completely gone when he heard what you were saying.  He wanted to think that maybe he heard it wrong but the look in your eyes assured him that he hadn’t heard it wrong. Your words had been loud and clear, ricocheting inside his brain. 
“For how long you have known about me?” 
Your heart was breaking, shattering into tiny pieces when you saw and felt the change in Seokmin. He held the box with your journals like it weighed a thousand pounds, his face was contorted with something that you couldn’t decipher but his feelings were clear, like the sky on a starry night. Seokmin felt betrayed, hurt, and unwanted, all things that weren’t true. 
“Since you started, around the same time, since I was sixteen as well” you whispered. 
Seokmin felt his heart drop all the way down to his toes feeling sick to his stomach. He had always wanted to find you, from the day he understood what his dreams meant he looked for you – everywhere and anywhere in the world. You were the reason why he even started to work in TV, he thought that if he got a job that required him to talk to a lot of people then it would be easier to find you. But the idea, now the fact, that you had always known about him but even then, decided not to look for him, not to take a step away from him, was like a slap to his face. 
“Do you know that I tried to look for you everywhere? I nearly went crazy. Every day since my dreams, the memories of us, started I searched for you. While you…” he scoffed like the world had played yet another sick joke on him “You knew who I was but you never…” 
He couldn’t bring himself to say it; thinking about it – feeling it – was already bad enough. Seokmin didn’t want to voice it, if he did then everything would become that much more real, too real, more heartbreaking than anything else in his life up until that moment. 
The dreams crushed his heart every morning when he woke up. Seokmin felt his heart die a little inside his chest for the life he never got to live with you, for the words he never got to hear from you, for seeing the bright light leave your eyes time and time again. But ultimately those dreams were just that: dreams, memories of a different period in time, of a different life that although felt real, it no longer was. 
“I was afraid, Seokmin…” 
“I know that you were! I felt it, with fiber in my body, I knew that you were scared, terrified that for some reason I wouldn’t love you. I knew all of that like it was my own fear” 
The despair he had in his voice was felt in your body, every tiny cell. You hated that he was feeling like that, that your first ever encounter with him – a proper one – was only worth a fight. That was not how you wanted things to go. You thought that if you ever met him things would run smoothly but the reality of it was far from your expectations. 
“Like you, I am a Memorous” you had to say it, you needed Seokmin to hear your words just once “The first time I saw you, like you are right now, was on TV but it was so fast that I couldn’t be sure. I was on the bus, passing by a TV store. The next day I stayed in front of the same store the entire day, waiting for that brief second of your face for hours. When I finally saw you I cried, right there in the middle of the sidewalk because I just felt so happy to see you, to finally find the boy that I had seen so many times before, the boy I loved so blindly, even though I have never met before. 
“But the dreams… they are alive inside my mind. I don’t forget them like you do. My brain stores them like they are memories of this life, all those feelings were as real as if I lived them this time around. I thought about all the times I saw you die, and I couldn’t live through that again. I couldn’t let that happen to you, not after I saw you. I only knew you from the screen of my tv but my feelings were already so strong. I wanted the bond to happen, you can’t doubt that for a second, but I was scared. I would very much rather live knowing that you were somewhere out there, living a happy and long life than having you live a short one with me” 
Your words were more than enough to make Seokmin stop. Until that moment, his mind was flying all over the place but the second you opened your mouth he couldn’t bring himself to be angry anymore. Those feelings, the fear of seeing your other half – the one you were supposed to be with – die, was one he knew very well. He often wondered what would happen when he finally met you. 
The first time he saw you, he had been over the moon, he felt you and everything else. He felt the pull and your desire to get closer to him. To say that Seokmin was surprised when you ran away was an understatement. He didn’t truly understand everything that was happening inside of him, the unthinkable mix of you and him made him feel dizzy because he couldn’t set you apart. 
He could finally understand the things you did but it didn’t mean that he liked them. 
“I think it’s going to be a very long night” 
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Seokmin read your journals in front of you, and it didn’t feel embarrassing. Those journals, your words, had been written for him and for him only. While you wrote down your dreams you thought of him, of how he would read them one day and how much you wanted him to. 
You spent the entire night in his hotel room. You talked for hours and hours and suddenly the subject wasn’t as heavy anymore, both of your fears momentarily forgotten, and you were simply enjoying each other’s company. 
Seokmin was everything that he seemed to be, but he was also that much different. His bubbly personality was still there, fully out in the open for everyone to see, but there was also a shy side to him - one that not many people knew about but it was cute to watch. More often than he would like to admit, Seokmin would trip over his words, insecure about what he could and couldn’t say to you. The ice is still very thin, it’s making me nervous he said at some point in the night. 
You had scooted closer to him or maybe he got closer to you, how it happened didn’t really matter. You found yourself sitting on the couch with your knees pulled to your chest as Seokmin quietly played with your fingers. 
Just having him around you felt like a dream but the moment his skin touched yours? It was like fireworks exploded under your skin, like every single nerve in your body was suddenly awake. You could feel him everywhere, like he was not just the man in front of you, but he was also part of the air, like he could be all around you whilst staying in the exact same spot. He gave you calmness, a sense of peace and security. Things that up until that moment no one had been able to give you, not even yourself. 
“I really want to kiss you” you whispered.  Seokmin’s fingers stilled in yours and something sparkled in his eyes as he looked at you. The moment was suspended in the air as if it wasn’t neither here or there, as if time itself had stopped and all the attention was now on the two of you and the way you were feeling in that very second. 
You couldn’t bring yourself to look away from him, you didn’t want to. It was the first time, in your entire life, that you craved someone’s touch and presence. With Seokmin you wanted that and so much more, everything that he had to give, you wanted. 
Feeling like that for someone after only knowing them for a couple of hours was impossible, the kind of thing that you would never expect to happen, the kind of thing that you would laugh at because something like that couldn’t exist. But with you and Seokmin, nothing was as it seemed. 
It was true that you had only known him for a little while but just in this life. When you looked at him you saw traces of the many different people that he had been in the past and because of that, it was like you fully knew him. That wasn’t the case, and you knew that, but even so, the feeling of reconnection still existed. 
Seokmin inched forward, his eyes focused on your lips, as he interlocked your fingers and pulled you towards him. There was one second of hesitation, one tiny second that felt like an eternity before his lips finally pressed on yours and then it was pure magic. 
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Seokmin had to leave a few days later and you hated the idea of having to see him walk away. It wasn’t final, you knew that, but it hurt all the same. He had stayed in the city for you far longer than he was supposed to, his phone always blowing up with text messages from people concerned about his whereabouts when in reality he had been locked up with you inside your apartment. 
On the contrary to what you previously thought, Seokmin didn’t care about your tiny apartment, about the fact that you had been to more foster homes than what you were willing to admit, or about the fact that you didn’t have a degree. I like you for you, not for the baggage that comes with you. 
You sat at the airport for hours after his flight departed, the emptiness growing inside of you as the seconds ticked away. 
Seokmin felt the same way. He wanted to stay or for you to just go with him, but he didn’t dare to ask. He knew that even though you didn’t think much of your life, you liked it. You loved to be a receptionist at Jun’s school, loved being surrounded by the kids, loved the city you lived in, and you were a little proud of yourself for being your own person and living your own life - even though you would never admit it. He got into the plane with a heavy heart, but he had to figure things out. He had to find a way for the two of you to be together. It was uncertain of what the future held for you. You could be together for just a year before one of you died or your entire life was still ahead of you. The not knowing drove him crazy. 
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 Three weeks apart was all he could take before he found himself boarding a plane to the other side of the country and breaking a few contracts while he did so. You called every day, facetimed whenever there was a chance and texts were always a constant but just that wasn’t enough. 
Due to the distance, the constant pull to you only grew stronger and the grasp he had of your feelings, how Seokmin could tell exactly what was going on with you, was slowly disappearing. It wasn’t that you were learning to control what he could and couldn’t see. Once the bond is made the newfound soulmates need to stay close to each other, it’s physically and mentally tiring to be away. He noticed that you sounded more exhausted on the phone, as your eyes nearly closed when you talked on Facetime. 
All those things pulled him to you, yes, but Seokmin also wanted to see you desperately. 
He didn’t tell you that he was coming to see you, he wanted to make it a surprise. The entire flight he felt just how happy you were, probably because you were at the dance school with the kids, but he also noticed your worry, because he hadn’t answered his phone in a few hours, as you tried to push it as far back in your mind as possible. 
The long see-through glass walls of the school allowed Seokmin to see you inside. He heard your laugh before he saw you, the sound had been imprinted in his mind like the type of song that just gets stuck. And then he saw your profile looking at the little boy in front of you lovingly. When you smiled, he thought that his heart would explode inside his chest. 
Seeing you, even from far away, was like going home after a long time. The feeling of calmness, the feeling of finally being able to breathe properly. Just looking at you made him lighter in a way that he couldn’t exactly put into words. 
The kids were the first ones to see Seokmin. The little boy you talked to gasped, and his eyes went wide. All the other kids had the same reaction, some of them pointed at him while others just went back to what they were doing before. 
You stood frozen in place and watched Seokmin walk from where he was to the door. You had to make sure that he was really there, that it wasn’t something that you were imagining. If it wasn’t for the cute selfies he sent you stored in your phone, you would be sure that meeting Seokmin and everything else that happened after had been nothing but a dream. It wouldn’t be the first time you wished for a life that could never have. 
You got up and took a step away from the kids before walking as fast as you could - nearly running - towards him. He met you halfway, his arms reached for you before you collapsed into him. 
You sighed in contentment and relief when you felt his skin against yours, when his warmth enveloped you. Everything else was forgotten and it no longer mattered. 
“You’re really here,” you said against his neck. 
His chuckle ran through your entire body and he tightened his arms around you, pulling you as close as possible to him. 
“Half a country away is too much" he murmured. 
You stayed in place for minutes, long enough for one of the kids to get bored and call out your name a couple of times. One of them ran inside and got Jun, because the little boy thought that Seokmin might be holding you for too long. 
“This reunion is great and all but it’s weird for the kids” 
At the sound of your friend’s voice, you let go of Seokmin but you didn’t go too far. Three weeks had been long enough, you would take whatever few moments with him that you could get before he had to leave again. So you stayed by Seokmin’s side, your fingers interlocked with his. 
“Seokmin, this is Jun” 
“I was the one who gave him your address, how else do you think he would send you his journals?” 
Seokmin looked at you, with surprise in his face. He hadn’t expected you to tell someone about it, about his journals, or about anything at all. From the moment he saw you, and even from the journals you wrote, he knew that you were the kind of person who didn’t tell those around her much about her life so it was a surprise that you had talked about it with someone. 
“It’s good to see that things worked out for you,” Jun said, he looked at the watch on his wrist before looking back at you again “Go on, take the rest of the day off” 
You shook at head, pointing at the kids behind him - who were already making a fuss all over the place. 
“I still have a few more hours to go and you need help with the kids” 
Jun just rolled his eyes when he took a few steps closer to you and Seokmin, pretty much pushing out of the door. 
“I’ll let you know that there was a time when I managed this place just fine without you” 
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 For the rest of the day, you walked around town with Seokmin. He held your hand the entire time, letting it go just to put his arm around your shoulder, either way, he always had his hands on you. You didn’t mind it, in fact, you liked it a lot. The idea of always being close to him made your heart flutter in impossible ways, made you imagine what life would be like when you finally got to be with him for more than a few hours at a time, it made you wish for a future when you would be able to see him every day and talk to him and just be around him. 
“I’ve been thinking,” Seokmin said when you reached your neighborhood. 
“That could be dangerous” 
During the time you and Seokmin talked on the phone, he told a lot about his childhood and there was one thing that was clear to you: he was an unpredictable kid. His ideas were always crazy and so unnatural for a child. When you were in foster care you thought that the other kids were crazy, but they were just reckless, Seokmin was wild. 
“I should have never told you those stories,” he said with a sigh, a tiny smile on his face “I’ve got this job offer, here in the city. It’s not like what I do now but I think that it could be fun and I’ll try to make it work as much as possible. If I do take it, we’ll be closer to each other” 
You were shaking your head before he was done speaking. Seokmin changing jobs, and doing something else that was not what he wanted initially was a huge no. 
“You’re not moving here” 
He sighed again and took your hand in his. 
“I know you’re worried about my job, but I only started to do it because I thought that it was the easiest way to find you. I can do something else, anything else, if it means that I can have you” 
You turned to look at him, your hand squeezing his. His words assured you, more than anything in the world. Hearing those words was the only thing you needed. 
“Remember how I told you that Jun’s soulmate mom is a social worker? She told me that there is this University, not the most prestigious one but a university nonetheless, that is more likely to give out scholarships. A couple of months ago I took the test to get in and I got the results a week ago” 
Seokmin nodded at you, not really understanding what you meant. Truth be told, he was a little hurt. The second he mentioned it you were already denying it, like the mere idea of having him close to was repulsive. He knew that couldn’t be the case, knew that those things never reached your heart but even so, the feeling of getting rejected was there. 
“I got in. I have to move there in the next few weeks or so, to settle in and find my way around town” 
“Where… where is that?” 
You laughed and kissed him quickly. He looked way too cute with the confused look on his face. 
“I didn’t ask for your address just to have it, Seokmin. I want to be close to you so I was looking for a place near yours but also close enough to the university” 
Before you even done speaking Seokmin already had his arms around while he placed quick kisses all over your face, making you laugh. 
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Moving away was harder than expected. There weren’t many things that tied you to that place, but the few things that did make it heartbreaking. 
Just as you predicted, telling Jun was easy. Your friend, like always, had been supportive saying that he had your back in all the choices you’ve made and the choices that you would come to make. 
His kids were a completely different story. When you told Hana about it, she started to cry, tears running down her little face and sobs escaping her lips. You knew that it was going to be hard to talk to her, but you didn’t think that it was going to be like that. Hanbin was easier but you knew that he was also feeling it. 
“Will you call us every day?” 
“I’ll call you every Sunday morning,” you said pinching her cheeks “We all know how much your dad loves Sunday mornings” 
Jun groaned but he still had a smile on his face. 
“Why do you hate me?” 
It broke your heart to leave all three of them, but it was something that you had to do, not only because you wanted to be close to Seokmin but because of yourself. The change was something that you needed to do in order to move your life forward. 
Moving day wasn’t as terrible as you expected. Seokmin had helped you move all your stuff, boxing everything to perfection. You didn’t have much you wanted to take with you but even so, everything you owned had been labeled and wrapped. 
Somehow Seokmin had managed to convince you to just move in with him. You tried to deny him at first. It didn’t make any sense; you had just started something with him and suddenly you were putting your toothbrushes together. That was way too fast. “We don’t know how much time we have together so why waste it by being apart?”  You tried reasoning with him “What if I can’t stand your habits and you hate mine?” To what he just said, “I’ll love all of your nasty habits and I’ll be the perfect prince, so you’ll have nothing to complain about”. 
It all ended with a heated make-out session on your couch. 
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Seokmin was feeling edgy. He was supposed to be home hours ago, he knew that you were worried but restraining yourself from calling him. He loved his job, he really did, and it was amazing that he got to keep it and be with you at the same time, but he hated days like those. He hated the late-night shootings when he had to be away - especially when he could feel how worried you were - and he didn’t even like to think about when he had to do something out of town. 
The drive back home felt endless. He broke God knows how many speed limits, and crossed a few red lights. He didn’t know why he was feeling like that, he knew that there wasn’t anything wrong going on at home. You would have called him in case something happened, he would have felt something change. 
But at times he couldn’t help but feel anxious. 
It had been four years. Four years since you found each other, since you started your life together, probably the four happiest years of his. But whenever he wasn’t expecting it, whenever Seokmin started to feel comfortable again with his life and you around him, his dreams would come back to haunt him. Instead of seeing you, in the past, he saw you as you were in this life. He saw the woman he loved, more than any of his dreams could have let him know, die in front of him, in his arms. It was always like that, you had a smile on your face, a tear ran down your cheek and you said that loved him. 
On nights like that, he would search for you. His arms moved directly to you and pulled you to him as quiet sobs escaped his lips. You always cried with him on nights like that. You didn’t have those sorts of dreams, but his despair and fear ran through your body as if they were your own. 
That night was just like that. The whole day he had a sickening feeling in his stomach. Like the world was telling him that something was bound to happen. The one thing that had somehow calmed him was how at ease you were during most of the way. 
Seokmin walked inside a house in darkness, the light in the hallway the only thing that could possibly tell him that there was someone home. You always did that for him when he had one of his late nights. 
You were sleeping in the bedroom, so Seokmin tried his best not to make a sound. But he knew that all his efforts were useless when he walked out of the bathroom to find the bedside lamp on and you looking at him. 
“I didn’t mean to wake you” 
You sat up and smiled at him, shaking your head. It was a good thing that he had woken you up. Your sleep wasn’t peaceful, no nightmares or dreams but although you were asleep you still had that weird feeling of being awake while sleeping. 
“It’s fine, I actually have to talk to you about something” 
Seokmin wouldn’t like what you had to say to him, in fact, you were pretty sure that he would probably hate it. 
“I talked to your sister today” the words left your lips in a quiet whisper. 
Seokmin stood still, his eyes focused on you, but his mind was somewhere entirely. He finally understood why you had felt so anxious and nervous during lunchtime and why he was feeling on edge the entire day. 
“We’re not doing this” he shook his head. 
“Seokmin it’s been 12 years, you’re going to have to talk to them at some point” 
You reached for his hand at the same that Seokmin scoffed at you. 
“You haven’t talked to your parents in 22 years and I don’t push toward them” 
Seokmin regretted his words the second he said them. He watched as you tried your best to control your emotions and not let him feel just how hurt you truly felt about his words. You pulled back the hand you reached to Seokmin and tucked it under the blankets. 
“I did try to look for them, Seokmin. I found them. It went the same way as it did when I was eight years old. They didn’t want me” 
You never told anyone about that, it wasn’t the kind of thing that you liked to talk about. To be honest you didn’t even like to think about it. 
A week before you moved in with Seokmin you searched for your parents. With Jun’s help, you managed to find them, quite easily. They still lived in the city, in the same house you lived in for the first eight years of your life. All it really took to get a hold of them was to find the documents they filled when they left you in the foster house. Your meeting with them didn’t last long, less than five minutes and they didn’t even invite you in. All the conversation was done at their doorstep. “We can’t do anything for you, we’re not parent material,” they said to which you answered, “I’m no longer a kid who needs care and protection”. 
For them to suddenly find their inner parent wasn’t something that you wanted or expected but you thought that they could, at least, be part of your life but even that they refused. They only showed some kind of interest when you mentioned Seokmin and just by looking at them, you could tell that their interest was more on what Seokmin brought with him than for you. 
After that you never mentioned them again, never allowed Jun to talk about it again, not even thinking about them was allowed. 
“Just because people bond doesn’t mean they become good people, Seokmin. It just means that there’s someone out there who won’t judge your choices” 
“Babe…” 
Seokmin crawled on the bed towards you, his arms going around you and tangled his legs with yours. 
You stayed quiet for a while, unmoving. That was your favorite place in the world, his arms. Even if you had just some kind of argument with him, even if you were hurt by what the other person said, you never turned your back on each other. 
“I’m afraid if I let them in again the same thing will happen. I can’t go through that again” 
You turned in his arms, facing him. 
“They were probably just afraid Seokmin, the things people say about Memorous aren’t nice. Maybe they were just afraid to lose their son. Your sister did sound really sorry on the phone” you ran your hand on his cheek “You’re thirty years old, the feelings you had at eighteen are not the same and you certainly are not the same person. Maybe we could try talking to them, and if it doesn't work, it doesn’t” 
“Thank you for reminding me that I’m old” 
You giggled against his chest, which made Seokmin kiss the top of your head. 
“You’ll only be old when our kids kids go to college” 
Something in Seokmin’s eyes changed, all the anger and laughter from just a second before suddenly disappeared. He rolled on the bed, so he was on top of you. 
“Are we talking babies now?” 
You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed your way up from his collarbone to his lips. 
“You’ve been lacking in that department lately, husband” 
He pulled your hands away from his neck and presses it against the mattress. 
“I’ll be sure to make it up to you, wife” 
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acescavern · 7 months
Text
END TO START - LEE TAEYONG X READER
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Navi - M.list
Pairing: Soulmate!Johnny x Soulmate! reader, Taeyong x reader. ( Ft Mark, Jungwoo, Ten, Jaehyun, Taeil, Yuta. Mentions Jaemin once.)
Genre: Heavy angst my guys, soulmates au, neo frat au, university au, fluff, Hanahaki Soulmate trope.
Synopsis: Taeyong had been perfectly happy to sit back and watch you and Johnny be together. However, when he starts to notice certain behaviors that are all too familiar, he finds himself unable to watch you slowly die. Just because Johnny may not love you anymore... doesn't mean Taeyong doesn't love you either.
wc: 4.9k
Warnings: Heavy angst, Blood, Mentions of death, suffering, choking, johnny is unfaithful, it's a Hanahaki au so they basically cough up dead and thorned flowers. It's not a graphic description but there are descriptions of pain too, mentions of weight loss due to being unwell, Unrequited love, hurt, Taeyong's been in love with the reader since before her and Johnny got together, heavy rejection, soulmate rejection ( Just because i have written this does NOT mean that i think any one of the nct members would cheat or act thi way. this is pure FICTION.) Please let me know if i have missed any warnings
Note: Hi! I have a few fics in the works but I'm worried I wont get them done for Halloween. So, I am blessing you with this heart-breaking fic. I wanted to release this fic early as a thank you for all your love on Operation Rizz! Now, this is the same frat universe as all my other NCT fics. they can all be read as stand alone though, so don't worry! Any feedback is once again appreciated. I do not own the concept of Hanahaki.
Likes and reblogs are appreciated
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Soulmates were supposed to be someone's everything—the one person who was meant specifically for them. Someone you can lean on and cherish, who would dote and adore you. Someone to dish out as much love to you as you unto them. To stay by your side and grow old together. However, some people are already at that stage when they meet their destined person. There was also the worry of some people not having a soulmate. Legend says that only the blessed are gifted with such. 
Gifted? Yes. To many, the Soulmate system is a curse - depending on what type you are assigned to. Tattoos? Easy. Mind reading? Okay a little more difficult. Red string? That practically takes you straight to them.  Eternal life? Near impossible! You could spend many years with someone you thought was a soulmate only to see a wrinkle and realize you aren’t made for each other at all. Seeing things in black and white only to suddenly be overwhelmed with color at a music festival and not know who the hell you’d bumped into in that massive crowd that could possibly be your soulmate. Not everyone even had a soulmate, they could be with whoever they wanted without consequences. 
But there was one type in particular that nobody wanted. Hanahaki. Named after the fictional Japanese Hanahaki Disease. It comes from the Japanese words Hana - meaning flower and Hakimasu - quite literally meaning, to throw up. 
In a soulmate's case, when they first meet each other a seed is awakened. It grows thorned roses - the flowers of love - cradling the person’s heart and twining around inside their lungs. For the most part, other than the occasional flutter and heartburn, it goes unnoticeable. So long as the soulmate reciprocates the feelings of love. But, should one soulmate start to fall out of love? The other will suffer terribly. The flowers will die, the spikey stems squeezing at the organs they were once gently caressing with love. Crushing in their anguish.
Of course, unlike the other soulmate types, there are two ways out of Hanahaki... Let the weight of the unreciprocated love drag on painfully until you die, or convince your health insurance to accept the cost of the operation to remove the offending plants. However, by the time one realizes they are soulmates, it is likely that the bond has already been unreciprocated. 
Taeyong knew this. He knew this because it happened to him. He had once been on the receiving end of the agonizing scratch of dead rose stems climbing up his throat in a mess of blood and wilted petals. Taeyong had nearly died. He recognized the signs clearly and that was the reason he was so shocked to see them in who he did. 
Johnny’s soulmate.
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Taeyong first took notice when you walked through the door of the club. A celebration night to celebrate the frat’s anniversary alongside Taeyong’s new choreographer position in the dance studio he works in. Your face had a slightly paler tone and although you were doing a good job at keeping your breathing even… Taeyong recognized the telltale signs of a wince when you took the air in too harshly. 
But when he saw Johnny approach you and press a loving kiss to your forehead, he scolded himself for thinking such things. Taeyong knew something was up though, your smile didn’t meet your eyes and when you congratulated him with a hug, he swore he could feel your body tremble. 
He tried not to worry too much throughout the night but when he saw Johnny by the bar, his charming smile dazzled at some sorority girls that had been invited… Taeyong wondered where you’d gone. The disappointment within him only grew when he watched his best friend and frat brother go home with one of them. 
So, maybe his suspicions were correct. A few weeks passed and he’d not seen a glimpse of you, Johnny hadn’t even uttered your name. The rapper hadn’t had time to sit him down and ask him about the incident. Until now. 
Taeyong dabbed the sweat from his brow with the neckline of his shirt, swiping his water bottle from the floor. He shuffled toward his friend, watching as he grinned at his phone as he typed. He was talking to someone and Taeyong only hoped it was you. That you’d both mended things to stop it getting worse. The thought of it all being a misunderstanding had a relieved smile spreading across his face as he settled on the floor next to Johnny. 
“You texting ____? Tell her I said Hey.” Taeyong said, twisting the cap off his drink to take a swig. Taeyong was almost taken aback at the irritated flash that crossed Johnny’s expression at the mention of your name. 
If Taeyong wasn’t so observant, he would have missed it. Johnny shook his head, swiftly locking his phone when his leader went to peer over his shoulder. “It’s not. It’s Yuki.” 
Taeyong’s eyebrows scrunched, posture freezing for a moment. “The sorority girl you went home with?” He tried to keep his tone level. Memories of the same thing happening to himself reoccur in his mind. “What about ____?” The question hung awkwardly in the air, Johnny staring at Taeyong as if he’d asked something ridiculous. 
“What about her?” He shrugged. “Just because I do stupid things, doesn't mean I don’t love her. She’s my soulmate.” He paused, an almost defeated sigh sagging at his shoulders. “The only one I got.” 
Taeyong took notice of the slight bitterness in his words. Almost as if he didn’t realize that he did it. “Do you?” 
Johnny rubbed at the back of his neck, his mouth opening but no words coming out. Once again, a defeated shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah… yes.” He cleared his throat as his voice broke. “I’m sure we’d of noticed by now if I hadn’t.”  Johnny left no room for debate, standing up with a clap of his hands to suggest they continue their lacrosse practice.
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You knew. You knew Johnny’s feelings for you were dwindling. You were reminded every time you coughed. Reminded by the way your breath left you in an agonizing squeeze when Johnny would kiss your forehead.  
But, even though you knew… it didn’t make you love him any less. You knew what he got up to when your nights weren't spent together. You didn’t do a thing, didn’t bring it up. You almost tried to ignore it. You loved Johnny. You always would. And, as long as you continued to love him, he wouldn’t have the same fate as you. You would never wish this pain on him even if he was the cause. 
You wished you’d heeded Mark’s seemingly lighthearted warning at the beginning of your relationship. ‘He’s one of my closest friends but he doesn’t always do the right thing, just… please be careful.’ Mark had said one evening. You hadn’t truly understood why he had said it, nor did you get to question him before Johnny had slid his arm around your middle. 
You understood perfectly now. Especially as a sharp tickle wheezed in the back of your throat, your eyes discreetly scanning the new text message from your seat at the very back row of English lit class. ‘Can we rain check date night again? Coach is being a hardass and wants us to stay late.’ For the third week running, the same excuse. Sure, you’d seen Johnny. But Thursday was always date night. Something you’d both stuck to like glue once before. 
Pain twisted in your chest, your breath rough. You brought the sleeve of your hoodie to your mouth, attempting a discreet cough. It didn’t do anything for you, the feeling like you’d swallowed razorblades. The world felt like it was spinning for a moment and you had to close your eyes and count to ten to steady it again. 
One look at your sleeve had you frowning. The next stage had started. You’d read about this. Discoloured petals. You’d only coughed up one but one was enough for you to be sure. With one last attempt at clearing your throat, you brushed the blackened petal to the ground. 
Taeyong shared this class with you. Whilst he didn’t often sit next to you, he was mostly always on the same row. Not many people occupied the back row and so, when he heard the muffled hack come from your direction he had looked over, shoulders tensing as he watched you. 
He approached you at the end of class, watching your sluggish movements as you shoved your laptop back into your bag. “____, Are you alright?” He asked softly, noting the sheen of sickly sweat coasting your forehead. 
Lips pressed firmly together, you nodded. You were certain if you opened your mouth you'd start coughing and choking again but you didn’t want to be rude. “I’m fine.” Bad idea. “Sorry, Yong, I gotta go-” Taeyong had never heard your voice so scratchy and coarse. He had also never seen you flee so quickly before he could even open his mouth, your notepad falling from your unzipped bag as you vanished before his eyes. 
As he knelt down to collect it from the ground, his fingers made contact with a velvety, withered texture. 
A blackened rose petal. 
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 The next time Taeyong saw you, you were much worse than he could have imagined. He had only turned up at your apartment because he assumed Johnny had left his phone at your place. He couldn’t really understand the rushed words of ‘Shit! I left my phone at her place, I’m already late!’ When Taeyong offered to go and get it, he naturally thought of your place. 
So when you answered the door, he was standing frozen at the sight of you. Your eyes had bags under them that would put JFK airport to shame. Your complexion was grey, lips cracked and dry. Taeyong could definitely see you’d lost some weight too, your knitted sweater nearly slipping off one shoulder. His gaze caught onto the marks along your neck, long red streaks almost looking like you had been clawing at it in your agony. Your winced call of his name kicked his brain into gear. 
“Now isn’t a good ti-” His hands flew out to rub and pat your back as your words were interrupted. 
Taeyong’s heart broke as he watched you struggle. You couldn’t get your breath, your face turning red from the strenuosity. Taeyong backed you into your apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He sat you on your couch, disappearing from view for a moment.
You didn’t even take note of what exactly was being thrust under your nose, only that it would catch what your body rejected. One of his hands held the bucket, the other sweeping your hair away from your face. It was all too familiar for him. Except for Taeyong, he had done it alone. 
“It’s okay, ____” He hushed, palm flattened over your back to rub comforting circles. “Breath through your nose and count to ten. It helps.” 
You did as such, shoulders relaxing as the air finally seeped into your lungs. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, sighing at the crimson residue that was becoming all too familiar. You opened your mouth to speak, only to be gently hushed once more. 
“It’s okay, it’ll hurt too much if you talk.” He set the bucket down on the side table. “You should get yourself some grapeseed oil. A teaspoon a day should at least prevent the attacks so often.” Taeyong didn’t look at you as he spoke, his hands busying themselves with opening the small drawer to your coffee table in search of tissues. 
“You mean this?” You rasped, pulling the small droplet bottle from your pocket, and setting it down on the surface before you. Taeyong’s eyebrows creased. 
It was the exact same bottle he was sure he had. Though, catching sight of the label on the bottle he knew it was his bottle. ‘Taeyong’  scribbled messily on the labeled sticker. He looked at you expectantly. 
“Johnny gave it to me.” Just uttering his name sent a pang of hurt through you, a wave of emotion rippling from your jaw to the tips of your toes. 
Taeyong understood immediately, a deep sigh resonating as he nodded once. “He knows then.” To which you nodded, eyes fixed on your lap. 
He had never seen you cry, and he would hate to admit it but your eyes looked pretty when you did. It was as if the glaze of tears enhanced the colors of your iris. “He doesn’t know it’s this bad. He thinks the tickle has just started.” 
“____, you’re dying and you’re telling me Johnny hasn’t noticed yet?” To say that Taeyong was in disbelief was an understatement. The new knowledge that Johnny knew now had floored him. 
Why? Because Johnny hadn’t once let it show. Taeyong had been around the guy all week and he was still the happy comedic genius he always was. Not a hint of anything bothering him. 
“Yong, It’s okay. I..” You drew your knees up to your chest, patting the spot next to you for him. “I’ve come to terms with it.” 
“Come to terms with it?!” He spluttered. “____, you are in your twenties! You can’t be okay with dying in your twenties.” His hand raked through his hair, eyes blinking rapidly like he couldn't come to terms with how calm you looked right now. 
Taeyong could feel the anger bubbling up in his chest, his gaze hardening as he addressed you once more. “You know he’s been seeing her too, don’t you?”
You were silent, shame eating at your subconscious. “If I ignore it then he won’t have to be like this too.” 
Taeyong sprung up to his feet. “Wake up! He’s out there living his life with no regrets and you’re the one to suffer? I can’t…” He shook his head, shoving his clenched fists into his pockets. “I’m sorry, I just-” With one last shake of his head, Taeyong left you there. The slam of your front door announcing his absence.
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Johnny remembered the conversation between the two of you very clearly. He was convinced he still loved you a lot. Just not in the way you need. At first, he thought it was doubt, but as time went on he started to notice the dry tickly cough and the abundance of petals scattered in your trash. He was sure it wasn’t harmful yet, certain that he still held the love in his heart for you. 
Johnny didn’t love Yuki. She was fun. She was different. She wasn’t you. He could spend time with her without any strings attached. It was freeing, knowing he wasn't destined to be with her no matter what. 
He felt guilt at first. He didn’t like lying to you, but it was for his own selfish gain that he did. Johnny had seen Taeyong go through the pain and near death of a soulmate falling out of love, he didn’t want that for himself. Johnny had too much to live for, as arrogant and self-centred as that sounded. 
 He remembered what you said when he gave you the vial of grapeseed oil, how your shaky hands had placed over his own. How you told him it was okay, it wasn’t his fault. But Johnny couldn’t help but think it was. Johnny tried so hard to make himself love you still. Your words of comfort swirled in his mind and kept him up at night. ‘Nobody can help who they do and don’t love. Feelings change, People don’t’ You’d said to him.
Johnny felt ashamed. Being unfaithful to you whilst you still loved him with every ounce of your soul. Deep down, Johnny knew you only had two options he just hoped you made a decision before it was too late. 
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Taeyong had been seen by barely anyone all week. It was as if he was attending his classes and then picking up every extra shift or odd job imaginable. The Neos were even more shocked when Mark slapped a flier down on the dining table ping pong table in front of some of the brothers. A for sale flier, advertising their frat leader’s motorcycle. The very same one that he cherished and spent a fortune to modify. 
“Do you think he’s in debt?” Jungwoo frowned, setting his beer on the table. 
That question alone earned a chortled laugh. “Woo, we’re in university. We’re all in debt.” Yuta clapped him on the back. “But, on a serious note, He’s been acting super weird lately.” 
Everyone launched into debate, trying to determine why Taeyong would be selling his pride and joy so suddenly. Conversation ceased when the front door opened and the man in question shuffled into the open-plan living space with an exhausted wave. 
“Ty, are you actually selling the bandit?” The question came from Taeil, Neo frat’s oldest member. 
Taeyong moved through the living area, taking a seat at one of the beanbags littered around the table. “Already sold it.” He bobbed his head in a nod. 
It earned him many concerned looks. “Are you in trouble or something? Are you trying to cover the water bill from when Mark broke the faucet?” 
“No, Jae. I’m not in trouble. It’s not for me.”  He reassured, his voice dying down quietly. “It’s for ____.” 
Everyone stopped. Mark locked his phone, Yuta stopped chipping at his nail polish, and Taeil nearly spat out his beer. Jaehyun and Jungwoo were already staring at him. 
“Why?”
Taeyong took a deep breath, anticipating the question.It didn’t take long for him to catch them up to speed.  “You haven’t noticed? I can’t watch her die. Even if she’s come to terms with it.” 
“She’s not been to class for a few weeks. Professor Choi just straight-up skips over her name now. I’m guessing they know.” Jaehyun hummed. 
“Hm, Jaemin said he saw her last week on his midnight ramen run.” Mark recalled, “Said she looked like something out of living dead.” 
“Mark,” Taeyong gave him a warning look. The younger just shrugged his shoulders. “I’m going to book the operation for her. She doesn’t know. I just need the deposit. After that, it’s monthly payments. I can scrape enough together for the monthly just fine.” He looked pained. “Whenever I see her, it’s like I’m watching myself go through it again.” 
One by one, Jaehyun, Mark, Jungwoo, Yuta, and Taeil offered their help. 
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The six of them didn’t make it known what their plans were but soon enough, after Taeyong had put what he had already saved with what the others offered, it was enough. He rocked up to the private medical center, cash in an envelope that was tucked neatly within the inside pocket of his jacket. 
Taeyong was pleasantly surprised that he was allowed to schedule and pay the deposit on your behalf. Acting on best interest. The receptionist did stress that you needed to fill in the form and sign consent upon arrival but Taeyong was more pleased that he was giving you a chance at life. That there was a possibility that you could carry on.
What he didn’t expect, was your immediate refusal when he brought the leaflet and forms over to your apartment the following morning. The smile dropped from his face as you tried to hide away from him.  ‘He could die.’ You’d cried at him. And whilst it had been proven he wouldn't, you were convinced. 
“He won’t, ____.” Taeyong begged. “Please, you can’t just accept this.” The bed dipped as he sat on the edge. The many times he had visited you now, you had always been. The last time you got up to open the door, Taeyong honestly worried that you would pass away right there on the doorstep. He took your spare key after that. 
Taeyong’s gentle fingers lifted the damp wash cloth from the bowl at your bedside, running the cool material over your brow and cheeks. A light smile twitched at the corner of your lips, the sensation easing your fever, only a little but it was better than before. He knew he wasn’t going to get many more words from you this evening. You’d exhausted yourself already for the evening. Taeyong was just content enough to sit here and care for you. 
Honestly, before it was known that you were Johnny’s soulmate, Taeyong had hoped you’d notice him. He had often found himself wishing that it wouldn’t last so he could at least have a shot with you. His hopes were crushed when Johnny had run through the fraternity declaring you were both soulmates. Taeyong had made peace with the idea that maybe he was meant to be alone, satisfied just by seeing you whenever Johnny brought you over to hang out. 
He never wished for this, though. 
Tenderest of touches brushed your hair away from where it had clung to your forehead. Taeyong clicking on the standing fan in an attempt to offer you some cool relief. “Trust me, ____.” He whispered, voice brittle. “I went through this.” His confession had your right eye cracking open. 
“Back in the first year,” Taeyong recalled. “Watching you and Johnny go through this… it’s like a mirror. I nearly died,” He picked up your hand, engulfing it in both of his own. “I refused the operation until it was nearly too late. For the same reason, actually.” 
Your fingers twitched in his own, your index finger hooking around his thumb to offer comfort. You have suspected Taeyong had some close experience with this. Especially in the way he always seemed to understand your pain, the sad gazes, and his drive to help you. You had never expected that he would be the one in your position though. The meer thought had tears welling up in your eyes. You seemed to cry a lot around the man these days. 
“He didn’t die though. Apparently, he just… coughed up the root.” He lifted your hand, the ghosting feeling of his lips against your knuckles. “I promise you, Johnny won’t die… At least think about it.” To which you nodded in agreement. 
Taeyong made you soup, your favorite kind. You weren’t even sure how he knew it was your favorite but he did. He parted from you with a lingering kiss to your hairline. Just like every night. This form of unrequited love seemed to of hurt him more than his last. 
He’d left the forms and leaflets on the empty bed space by your feet.
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You’d asked Taeyong not to come over for the last four days. As worried as he was, he had to respect your wishes. You didn’t want him to see your sudden decline as you entered the last stage of the rejection. Meaning, that Johnny had almost fallen completely out of love with you now. 
You were expecting it, Taeyong too. You and Johnny had broken things off the last time you saw each other. Both of you doing so without even having to clarify the matter. He was free. Almost. 
Taeyong had been stressed all week, even his frat brothers had given him a wide berth. Many put it down to the lacrosse game the pending evening. Only a select few really knew that it was because today was the same day Taeyong had scheduled for your surgery. 
He hadn’t known it was the same day as the game, Jungwoo uttering the words with caution the day before. Taeyong swore to himself that he thought he booked it for next week. He didn’t even know if you were going to accept it… Any time he brought it up you tended to change the subject. 
How Taeyong managed to even pass the ball with steady swings amazed even himself, his hands hadn’t stopped shaking. He had nearly skipped the game in favor of being with you, but he knew he couldn’t.  The game had gone smoothly, they were winning by one. In fact, Johnny had to take the penalty shot. 
The whole field waited on bated breath, all eyes on Johnny as he just stood there, his expression morphed in such a way that Taeyong exchanged a look with Jaehyun.
“Seo! Take the damn shot already!” The coach didn’t even get through his ending word before Johnny’s form curled over, knees slamming into the ground. 
Taeyong rushed over as his friend tore off his helmet and spat his mouthguard to the ground. He would worry about that later. Taeyong slid to his knees beside Johnny, his own helmet crashing to the ground out of his grip. 
Johnny had never felt such pain. His airways were burning. The sensation in his chest felt like all the oxygen was being torn from him. The team crowded around him, blocking anyone else's view of the scene.  A choked cough left his throat, a shout of agony following after. Petals. Blood. Stems.  The flower was unwinding itself, pulling at the roots from within his chest and lungs. 
The team managed to maneuver Johnny back to the locker rooms, it took four of them to carry him but soon the male was slumped against the tiles of the showers. Taeyong was beside him once again. “Cough it up Johnny, you’ll do more damage if you don’t.” He tugged Johnny’s arm to sit him forward, his fist thumping down in the center of his back. “Johnny, come on!” 
To say Taeyong was relieved when Johnny finally started coughing again was an understatement. “You gotta carry it on, it’ll hurt but I’ve got you.” He pleaded over the sound of his friend’s cries and chokes. 
Johnny doesn’t know how long he continuously coughed for. All he knew was the last one to shake through his body finally offered him release, Taeyong tugging him away from the mangled mix of plant and blood only to rip him, Johnny, from his shock-induced state by shoving him under the freezing cold shower stream - kit and all. 
A big, clear breath left him. 
“What the fuck, John?” Ten peaked his head around the corner, having raced in after the team to check on his best friend. 
“Dude, that's your flower.” Mark grimaced, crouched down next to the offending object. 
The announcement made Johnny’s spine straighten, and Taeyong hung his head. “What does it mean?” Johnny shakily stood, pressing the button to stop the stream of cold water. 
It was fascinating how Johnny already felt better. He felt no pull in his chest, no weakness even after the whole ordeal. He felt new. But if he felt like this… then what had happened to you? The realization of what had happened weighed heavy on his guilt. 
He turned to address the sort of traumatized, faces around him but it wasn’t him that spoke up. It was Taeyong. “It means I need to find ____.” 
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Taeyong had raced past his teammates and into the locker room without any further explanation. His phone cramped between his ear and shoulder as he tugged on his sweats at record speed. “C’mon, Petal. Pick up.” He swore to himself, only removing the device from his ear to throw on a t-shirt from his locker. It was a term of endearment he had taken to calling you of late, though quite often when you were too dazed to notice. 
He ignored the looks of confusion from his friends. Well, from those other than Mark and Jaehyun. From the look on Johnny’s face, he was still piecing things together. Taeyong didn’t have time for that, snatching the keys for the beat-up Honda he had gotten recently and sprinting from the room. 
Taeyong continued to call you on the way to your apartment. He had just hoped you’d gotten yourself to the appointment. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing you like this. He found himself afraid to enter your building, scared of what he may find. His head thumped against the steering wheel, eyes burning with unshed tears. You had to be okay. 
His phone buzzed, body jumped when he saw your name flash on the screen. He swiped to answer, bringing it up to his ear with a relieved sigh. “____.” He listened to your breathing for a split second, registering the steady beeps in the background. 
“Is he alive?” Your tone was filled with urgency but your voice was clearer than Taeyong had heard in weeks. It had a relieved laugh bubbling from his chest, salty droplets cascading down his cheeks and leaving his tear ducts with the tension in him. 
“He’s fine.” He sniffled, rubbing at his face. “ Petal, you’re okay. I tho-” You interrupted him with a soothing call of his name. 
“You were right.” He listened to you pause, the sounds of you sipping through a straw present in the receiver. “There are things I do have to live for.” You spoke quietly. “The first one being myself.” 
He hummed in agreement, starting up the car again. “Yeah? I’ll be there soon and you can tell me all about the second, Petal.” He was rewarded with a breathy laugh. “What?”
“Petal.” You murmured, Taeyong could hear the slumber lingering back into your tone. 
“Get some rest. I’ll be there soon.” He was about to pull the phone away from his ear when you quietly called his name again. 
“Yes?” He hummed, clicking the hands-free and setting the phone into the holder on the dash. 
“Can I tell you my second reason?” 
“What’s that, Petal?” He smiled softly to himself. 
“It’s you.”
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©Acescavern - I do not give permission for my works to be copied, translated or reposted
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scuderiahoney · 2 months
Note
hi lee <33 how abttt soulmate au with bestfriend!oscar where if u get hurt physically, so does ur soulmate 🤔🙈🙈
hi Sarah!! fun fact i looooove soulmate aus tbh i’m surprised i haven’t written one yet. this is such a cute concept ok here we go :)
five fun facts:
i think for this to work w/ best friends they'd have to be people who don't get hurt often! i think they'd both be a lil frustrated bc they have absolutely no clue who it could be bc there’s no marks popping up
she would eventually resign herself and start thinking she just doesn’t have a soulmate! Oscar’s a lil more confident and tries to reassure her that everyone has someone and she’ll find them eventually
can see them making a deal while they’re drunk one night that if they don’t find their soulmates by 30 they’ll just get married. they don’t want to waste their whole lives away yknow?
i think Oscar figures it out first! he watches her skin her knee when she falls or something and in the moment he’s too worried ab her to notice that his own knee is hurting, only finds the matching mark later that day. he wants to tell her but he’s worried she won’t want him to be her soulmate, or that maybe she’s his but he’s not hers (does that make sense? idk)
i think one day she’s in the paddock and a cut pops up on her hand out of nowhere. she goes running to find Oscar first and spots him with a medic- he’d cut his hand on some gear or something. and he just turns and they lock eyes and it’s just. pure relief.
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yangtaros · 2 years
Text
the part of your body your soulmate touches glows
soulmate au
jaehyun x female reader
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5
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The movie was over but none of you guys were tired.
“Y/n, come to our apartment” Mark asked.
You wanted to say no immediately, pretty sure that was a boundary being crossed.
Jaehyun saw the look of your face, “you don’t have to”.
“It’s just isn’t that not supposed to happen?”
“You won’t get caught, plus we invited you” Johnny said getting his keys out.
You agreed for some reason.
While getting into Johnnys car, Jaehyun slid in the seat next to you quickly. Mark not even getting a chance.
“The movie was so good” Jaehyun said to you.
“What was your favorite part” you said back to him.
“Um the part with spider-man in it”
You giggled.
Once you got to the apartment you all quickly got out and went to their dorm. There you also saw Jungwoo, Yuta, and Taeil.
“Other than auntie you’re the first woman that has ever been at our house” Jungwoo said to you.
Johnny went to translate it but Mark and Jaehyun both stopped him before he could.
“He said welcome” Mark said.
You giggled lightly, knowing he wasn’t telling the truth but didn’t pay it any mind.
“Do you want anything to drink?” Jaehyun asked you.
“Sure whatever you have is fine I’m not picky”
Jaehyun held up a bottle of soju.
You chuckled, “oh you mean drink”
“You don’t have to”
“I’ll take it”
He handed you the bottle and also got ones for the rest of them except himself. You sat on the couch and Jaehyun made his way right to you. Mark saw and scratched the back of his neck.
Does Jaehyun like her too?
The rest of them made their way to the couch some sitting on the floor.
While flipping through channels on tv you guys had conversations about light topics and laughed just enjoying the day. You felt the drink getting to you after a while and so did they.
Taeil turned to a food channel and started to dissect the ingredients they put in their food saying how he wouldn’t have chosen that. You were so out of it that you were laughing and had no idea what he was saying. Mark had no idea what he was saying either. He just watched you.
Tipsy… or maybe a little more than that, Mark tapped on your knee. You looked down to see him and smiled.
“Y/n” He whispered.
“Yes” you whispered back laughing.
“I want to show you something”
“What?”
“Come to my room”
You turned to Jaehyun, “I’ll be back”
He nodded, thinking you were going to the bathroom or something, until he saw Mark get up too. He didn’t want to ask what you were doing. That would be weird and he didn’t want you to think he owned you or something.
“So what did you want to show me?”
You sat on the edge of Mark’s bed, stopping yourself from laying back and falling asleep.
“Look” Mark held up his guitar.
“Are you going to sing for me!”
“I’ve been learning habitual by Justin Bieber”
“I love that song”
“Me too” Your eyes lingered with his. He cleared his throat and got his thoughts together before preparing to play on the guitar.
“flowers open when they feel the sunlight. moon rise, tides change right before our eyes. aggressively but softly you place your lips on my lips”
while lightly humming along you couldn’t hide the thought in the back of your head.
was this innocent or is he trying to say something?
You smile at him though and watch as he plays.
“earth keeps spinning around, we’re breathing. so Thankful”
He glances at you for a second, “My love for you’s habitual yeah. not for a moment, but forever, though it seems untraditional yeah”
He continued the song to the end, messing up a bit “sorry I’m a bit tipsy”
“That was amazing Mark”
He smiled and put his guitar down and sat next to you, “thanks”.
There was a bit of silence.
“Can I kiss you?”
You were suprised at his boldness and weren’t actually sure if you liked him in that way, but you also weren’t sure if you didn’t like him in that way.
“Um, okay”
Mark leaned into you and kissed your lips. He placed his hand on the lower side of your back. Eventually it landed on your hips. You kissed back, the alcohol taste on both of your lips. You pulled away and saw a notification from Jaehyun on your phone. “It’s getting really late, let me take you home”
You blushed, “I should probably get going Mark, Jaehyun said he’ll drive me to my hotel”
“Okay” he kissed your cheek and sighed, “See you tomorrow”
You awkwardly waved him goodbye.
The drive with Jaehyun was silent.
“I think Mark likes me”
“You think?” He chuckled
“Well, he um.”
Jaehyun cut you off, “ Do you like him?”
“Well he’s nice and can play the guitar well and can sing and dance. He’s attractive. What’s not to like”
“You don’t like him do you” Jaehyun felt a bit relieved.
“No”
“It’s okay” He turned into the hotel parking lot, “Feelings are interesting.”
“Yeah. Thanks for driving me home”
“Why do you think I didn’t drink?”
Your heart fluttered, “I didn’t know you did that for me”
“Of course”
“Okay I owe you something then”
He laughed “No you don’t”
He got out of the car to open your door.
“Wow you’re such a gentleman” You got out of the car.
“See you tomorrow” He hugged you. It wasn’t a regular hug. it was a hug. A hug where your arms go around his neck and his arms go around your waist. He squeezed your waist a bit and you giggled.
“Are you ticklish?” He tickled you a bit and you moved out of his arms quickly, “stop!”
You both laughed as you ran to the entrance, “be ready to dance tomorrow.”
You got ready for bed once you got in your room and changed your clothes, while changing your clothes you noticed your waist was glowing a bright purple.
You ran to the mirror, “oh wow.”
You ran through the people who touched your waist for a long period of time and it was narrowed down to two people. Jaehyun and Mark.
That was a nice juicy chapter for you guys. Thanks!
taglist: @butterfliesinthenightsky @venusprada @shimyswischeesedp @delicateprincessshark @tyonfbu @vinylattae @donutswithjaminthemiddle @neocityfile
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kiachiako · 1 year
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april nct recs
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my library of favorites from APR <3 all creds to authors
[ sorted by word count ]
series
JAEMIN | better than your next (i'm the next) | @ddeonuism 11.9k [ part one ]
RENJUN | messenger | @dojunie — smau | You find a phone number written on the mirror of the Sulim Library's second floor bathroom. It’s scrawled messily across the glass in erasable expo marker, the handwriting underneath almost closer to hieroglyphics than lettering— and what you thought it read, was ‘SEND DUCK PICS FOR A GOOD TIME.’ (You suppose, in hindsight, it was a good thing this person’s penmanship was so shit— because if you knew what it really said, you might have never stumbled across the oddly intriguing inbox of one Huang Renjun.)
oneshots
[m] JAEHYUN | seeds of pomegranates | @anashins 29.5k — The day the god of the underworld steals you away, he expects to have found a timid wife to make his isolated life more bearable. Little does he know that the rose he picked from the garden called earth bears knives instead of thorns, and he might not have found a timid wife, but a queen with a heart as dark as his.
[m] JAEHYUN | hearts are won at practice | @angelwonie 21.2k — jung jaehyun is an obnoxious, way too handsome footballer whom you have no intention of getting to know. at least until a series of coincidences forces you to spend time with him, and you realize there might be more to him than what meets the eye.
CHENLE | potential | @rrxnjun 20k — rich kids au, childhood friends au, friends with benefits au. angst, fluff, suggestive | You saw his potential without seeing credentials. And maybe that's the issue.
[m] HAECHAN | monochrome | @sundaysundaes — Lee Donghyuck once believed in the concept of soulmates—how fate would connect a red thread from one lover to another, in a form of dreams and memories. That was how his parents met, that was how they claimed their happiness, and he wanted nothing more but to live his life the way they lived theirs. Until one day, as he sees her slipping away from his hands, he has no choice but to stop believing entirely.
CHENLE | i still love you | @xiaodejunletsact 17.4k — high school can be complicated. thats why when your crush of three years, zhong chenle, approaches you out of nowhere offering to drive you home you are right to question his intentions.
HAECHAN | free trial wedding style | @liliansun 10.6k — when a random, cute, guy comes up to you and practically asks for you to follow along, you do so without much thought. that is until you get home and see he’s your new neighbor who just might need your help a little more than you expected.
[m] HAECHAN + MARK | the girl is mine | @luvrkives 10.5k — mark and hyuck can't stop fighting over you. who fucks you better, who makes you laugh more, who you like most, who fucks you better, yada yada yada. but honestly, why argue when you would happily take them both?
JAEHYUN | love you goodbye | @serendipityseulgi 10.3k — the one with the story of dysfunctional love between you and jaehyun. aka, you both want different things and your love isn’t always enough.
[m] JOHNNY | color evasion | @ncteez 8.7k — or the one where you join a kink website and a specific dom’s profile catches your attention enough to actually meet him at a hotel and practically ignore your safe words bc man, he’s good. 
[m] HAECHAN + JAEHYUN | mine too | @waithyuck 7.5k — donghyuck x jaehyun x reader (f), smut, basically pwp
JAEHYUN | eye of affection | @aitarose 6.6k — for as long as he can remember, jaehyun’s world has been in black and white - giving him no reason to appreciate his mother’s profession as an artist and the beauties that art can provide. however, an accidental meeting with you gives him reason to doubt his former beliefs - proving to him that there may be true beauty in a world that’s void of everything bright, that beauty being the sunshine that you provide. 
HAECHAN | full of love (and stars) | @httplastic 6k — friends/roommates to lovers, light angst
[m] HAECHAN | unavoidable | @sunpopz 5.8k — after swearing to yourself you're done catching feelings for people; you meet someone who makes that incredibly difficult. you think you can avoid him... then you're assigned a final together.
RENJUN | hard to let go | @cinnajun 4.3k — your high school friend group had an ambiguous and messy end, and you never got any closure for anything. two years later, and lee donghyuck’s girlfriend lives on the same floor as you, and you’re forced to face huang renjun, whose abandonment hurt you the most.
HAECHAN | she's quiet | @ijuliet 3.4k — although you were not looking to make new friends, the ones you had tried their hardest to push you out of your comfort zone to find something abnormal for you. which is why you’re at a frat party on a thursday night, watching as lee donghyuck observes you from afar.
[m] HAECHAN | all bark no bite | @jjsneo 2.5k — lee haechan is the most annoying man you’ve ever encountered. but that doesn’t mean you don’t find him hot; and maybe that’s why he has you flat on his mattress one night at a random frat party.
JAEHYUN | in the rain | @sehunniepotwrites 1.9k — All this time, you were looking for love in the wrong places and in the wrong people. As a serial dater, you never thought you would find it in the pouring rain and in the person you trusted the most. 
. . .
ur fav recs n fics blog is back hehe | happy reading <3
xoxo
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yoonrimin · 8 months
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yoon recommends
STRAY KIDS
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@feelbokkie >>>> don't let me love you
pairing: felix x fem!reader / chan x reader
summary: with the upcoming wedding of her cousin and her ex, y/n is in desperate need of a date for the wedding that will show the happy couple that she moved on
genre: smau, fake dating, crack, angst, fluff
status: completed
feelbokkie also has a lot of other content for stray kids that i really enjoy, i think that i read all her materialist so go and check her blog out!
@milkandhyunnie >>>> this boy is bad news
pairing: hyunjin x reader
genre: angst, smut, smau, college au, enemies to lovers
status: ongoing
summary: as an aspiring journalist, you are the news editor for the uni chronicles; the campus newspaper, popular for delivering breaking news at the drop of a hat and providing detailed articles about the various happenings around your university. you think you’ve covered every story there was to cover before you’re tasked with producing an in-depth editorial on a student whose name is on everyone’s lips—hwang hyunjin.
we love a good enemies to lovers in this blog! and the character development????? off the charts
@sluttywonwoo >>>> instead of you
pairing: best friend’s brother!lee minho x f!reader ft. han jisung
status: ongoing
summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.
series warnings: swearing, drug + alcohol use/mentions, menstruation mentions, angst, eventual smut
one of the best minho fanfics fr
btw you're going to see a lot of Kaili in my recs ;)
@skzonthebrain >>>> GO LIVE bangchan
pairing: chan x fem!reader
genre: smau, university au, established friendships, strangers to friends to lovers
status: ongoing
summary: you're crushing on the local JYP Campus Radio Host, Chan, but then again who isn't? You've always admired him from a far, thinking just like any other popular guy, he wouldn't give you the time of day. After a sudden encounter with Chan one day in the campus coffee shop 'Lifeline', everything changes."
>>>> If only you new
pairing: Chan x reader (gender not mentioned)
genre: one shot, established best friends with chan, angst, pining, fluff
summary: your ex cheated on you. you are heartbroken, have been crying for days and the worst of it all, you're now sick with the flu. thankfully Chan will always be there to look after you. is there a reason he cares so much?"
content warning: mentions of cheating, reader is cheated on, mentions of betrayal, character gets sick and pretty depressed.
>>>> what the heart wants
pairing: chan x reader
genre: one shot, nonidol!au, fluff, emotional, first confessions, best friends to lovers, established friendship with Minho and his fiance, established friendship with chan
summary: you have healed from the pain your ex caused and your close friend helps you realise you're ready to love again. will Chan still feel the same way after all this time?"
content warnings: mentions of being cheated on, emotional but happy emotional, mentions of pregnancy (not y/n), opening your heart to love after betrayal, nothing but fluff really.
i find all of the works of Ven pretty well written, is one of those writers that leaves you feeling the passion that she puts on her writing. i love them.
@kkami-writes >>>> waiting for us
pairing. ot8 x fem!reader
genre: soulmate!au, college!au, social media!au + written parts, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut(?)
status: ongoing
summary: at age 16 you either get your soul mark (in the form of your soulmates name somewhere on your body) or you become a blank, someone who doesn't have a soulmate. you've long lost any semblance of hope or comfort in the magic of soulmates, despite the fact that you have 8 of them.
content warning: swearing, mentions of sex, sexual innuendos, skz should be in horny jail, potential smut (MDNI), domestic abuse, sexual assault, implied/referenced self-harm, suicidal tendencies/thoughts, male x male relationships (skz are soulmates), polyamory, kms/kys jokes, mentions of homophobia + transphobia, lots of written parts, more to be added.
one of my recent lectures that i've been enjoying a looot. i truly recommend it.
@mazeinthemiroh >>>> all her materialist
i love their work, her reactions are really really good and well written. one of my comfort blogs tbh
that's why all her stray kids materialist is here, just so you can see and read it with your own eyes
@straylightdream >>>> 8.13
pairing: lee know × fem!reader
genre: one shot
summary: after a nightmare wakes you up your husband comforts you.
this made me cry its so good and fluffy omg
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p.d: in the future new blogs are going to be added, these are my more recent and current obsessions of the month if am being honest. but they're here because of the history and the writers are doing a really really good job with their works which is highly appreciated.
♡♡ if you're one of the creators tagged here i wanna say thank you for your hard work and that i truly admire your talent and skills that give us those beautiful stories ♡♡
p.d. 2: i apologize if there are any mistakes, english is not my first language, if you find any please let me know so i can get better!
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xoxo, yoon's out!
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Ready Or Not
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Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 3 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU
Masterlist | Next Part
The fourth puzzle piece snapped in time with Jisung’s yell. He looked at the four of you with wide eyes, then to the two at his sides, and then back at you. And then he was pointing again.
“You’re my soulmate!?”
Hyunjin let out a gasp at the information, but Changbin just narrowed his eyes as he looked over the scene. “Felix too? And … Channie-hyung?”
Chan ran his hands through his hair, letting out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, me too.”
“Actually,” You tried to get yourself to sit up, but Felix didn’t seem keen to move and simply pulled you back down. You decided to just let it be. “I have 8 soulmates.”
You let the information sink in. Changbin blinked, pointing at himself in confusion, and Felix lifted his head to look you in the eyes for confirmation. At your little nod to both of them, Felix then looked back at Chan, whose face was baffled.
Hyunjin looked around the room in confusion, then at you, then back at the other members as they processed the information, and then he let out a gasp of understanding.
“Everyone?!”
You nodded again. Jisung let out a laugh of disbelief, suddenly jumping onto the bed next to you to pull you into a hug. You were squished up against him, Felix refusing to let you go, causing you to be in the middle of a Jilix sandwich.
“Hey! Share, share!”
Hyunjin threw himself on top of Felix, and both Changbin and Jeongin yelled at him to be careful. This caused Jisung to complain, pushing Hyunjin off, which started a wrestling match between them. Felix laughed, hugging you tighter.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of this,” He told you.
“The hugging?”
“And the colors,” Felix exclaimed, looking around the room with wide eyes. “I didn’t know there were so many!”
Ah, Felix must have the black and white sight soulmark, that only allowed them to see colors when they met their soulmate. You couldn’t imagine living your entire life in black in white only to be bombarded with colors in an instant, on top of being confronted with the soulmate high. No wonder he had cried.
You caught Jeongin’s eye from where he now sat watching from the floor next to the bed. He looked happy, but a little unsure, tilting his head in question when he caught your gaze. You patted Felix’s arm, and he reluctantly let you go. You slid of the bed and allowed Jeongin to pull you into his lap, resting your head against his shoulder.
“I’m okay,” You reassured him, letting out a deep sigh. “Just a little overwhelmed.”
“More than just a little,” Chan corrected you, rubbing your back as he settled down next to Jeongin. “I can feel everything you know.”
You grimaced. “Oh.”
He must have an experience bond, being able to feel your own feelings as his own. You found yourself quickly thinking about the rollercoaster of emotions you had subjected him to in just the past hour, let alone your entire life. You would have apologized, but you knew he wouldn’t accept it.
“How, how do you know?” Changbin asked suddenly. He was still standing off to the side, looking unsure. “How do you know we all are your soulmates?”
“Red string” You explained, resting your hand against your chest.
A chorus of ‘ahhs’ resounded around the room.
“So, when did you realize–“ Chan seemed to trail off as he wondered how to phrase his words.
“We realized it when we got back to the hotel,” You explained. “I’m making an educated guess on Lee Know and Seungmin, but what are the odds that I’d have 8 soulmates all in the same city at the same time and only 6 of them would be Stray Kids?”
Hyunjin joined the four of you on the ground, leaning up against the bed. “So … I am your soulmate too?”
“I mean, I know you’re mine,” You offered, tilting your head. “Do you not know?”
“Hyunjin doesn’t have any signs or marks of a soulbond, so we weren’t sure,” Chris explained, pulling away from your hug. “We thought maybe when he met his soulmate, the bond would show up ...”
You hummed in understanding. “So you’re not sure.” Hyunjin looked down at his hands, so you reached out to squeeze his hands reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I am. Even if you don’t figure out what your bond is, you’re still my soulmate.”
You pulled away from him, but Hyunjin suddenly grabbed your arm back, flipping your hands over. Your palms were black, like you had run your hand along charcoal. When Hyunjin then flipped your hand back over, the very places he had touched were also smudged with the same dark color, and the rest of the room went quiet as they all leaned in to watch the smudges slowly start to fade.
Hyunjin gave you a beaming smile.
“Well, I guess that answers that question,” You muttered.
Five pieces.
“What is your name?” Changbin suddenly asked.
You flushed, realizing that between all the sudden events and realizations, you hadn’t had the chance to properly introduce yourself to any of them. You told them your name, but Changbin just shook his head.
“No, no. Full name.”
“She’s your soulmate, Binnie. Why would she lie about this?” Felix asks, looking offended on your behalf.
“No, it’s okay. I get it,” You reassured Felix, giving Changbin your full name.
While it wasn’t common, and extremely illegal, it wasn’t completely unheard of for people to fake being someone’s soulmate for a variety of reasons. Being celebrities, you were sure that worry was double for them. Your name would be enough to confirm to him your identity if he had your name or initials as a soulmark, so you expected him to be reassured, but his frown only seemed to grow.
Changbin crossed his arms. “So how do this work?”
“Hmm?”
“If we all your soulmate, what do we do?”
“He has a point. There’s 8 of us, only 1 of you,” Jisung pointed out, now sitting cross legged on the edge of the bed. “I mean, we share a lot with each other, but we can’t exactly share you all the time.”
“What if we want to go on date?” Hyunjin wondered. “We go together?”
You leaned back into Jeongin, letting his chin drop down onto your shoulder. “All relationships are hard. I guess we just have to figure it out, make sure to talk to each other, make sure everyone is happy.”
“I’m happy,” Jeongin whispered to you. “I love my members. I was worried, a soulmate … um. I didn’t want to have to choose. Stray Kids, Stay, soulmate. All very important for me. I … I couldn’t imagine a better group of people to share something as important as a soulmate with.”
Chan gratefully translated for you what Jeongin was unable to say in English. You felt your eyes welling up again, hugging him tightly in thanks.
“I’m glad too,” Felix murmured, leaning his head against Jisung’s shoulder.
“Me three,” Hyunjin piped up.
“Me four!” Jisung chirped.
Chan let out a laugh. “Ah, I’m glad that now I’m not the only one who has to deal with these kids.”
Changbin finally approached from his corner of the room, giving you a hesitant smile as he settled down next to Jeongin. “I am also happy, just not … I don’t want to lie. I am .. uh, disappointed? But …”
Hyunjin wrapped his arms around Changbin. “Ah, it’s okay Binnie. You’re allowed to be disappointed; I don’t think any of us were expecting this.”
“It’s going to take some getting used to. I think we all had expectations, but just because it’s a little different doesn’t mean that she’s not still your soulmate. Like she said, it’s going to take time, but we’ll figure it out. We always do,” Chan reassured.
You weren’t sure what they were saying, but you could understand the sentiment. You had Felix let you go so you could scoot closer to Changbin, reaching out to hold his hand.
“It’s going to be okay. This isn’t going to be easy, but we’re in this together. Don’t ever feel like you have to hide your feelings, okay?”
Changbin stared at you with his dark eyes, and then he pulled you in for a hug. Unlike the others, this hug was hesitant, softer, full of worries and apologies and unspoken words. You buried your face in his chest.
The puzzle was beginning to take its shape around you, the sixth piece joining the others.
Jisung suddenly said something in Korean, and the others all started to babble to each other. You weren’t sure what was being said, but it sounded like they were trying to give you two your space. When you pulled back from the hug, Changbin’s eyes were suspiciously wet, but he blinked the tears away and gave you a smile.
“I’m very lucky,” He whispered. “My soulmate is so kind. And pretty.”
You groaned, pressing your hands against your face to hide your smile. “Stop it, you’re going to make me blush.”
The others noticed your weakness and pounced, calling you cute and complimenting you until you were sure you were going to explode. Changbin laughed, and then pretended to protect you from the compliments by hiding you in his arms. He said something in Korean, and the others were quick to protest.
You were going to have to learn Korean, and quick.
There was a sudden ringing noise, and the others didn’t seem to pay it much attention as they continued to joke with each other and laugh. It was Chan who pulled out his phone to answer, trying to hush the others but failing.
“Hello?”
The person on the other side began to talk, and Chan’s eyes darted to meet yours. His smile grew. He replied back in Korean, and Felix turned to him with wide eyes.
“They’re on their way back already?”
The room grew silent as they realized who Chan was talking to, and you felt your butterflies erupt in your stomach. You were still riding the high from meeting so many of your soulmates, so you didn’t feel as anxious as you had the first time around. But you still wanted to make a first impression.
As Chan ended his call, you got to your feet, smoothing out your now wrinkled clothes. “Did you tell them anything?”
“Just that I had a surprise for them in Jeongin’s room.”
“Okay.” You took a deep breath.
“You okay?” It was Hyunjin who asked you this time, giving you a worried look.
You nodded. “Yeah, I am. Just a little nervous.”
“Don’t be,” Chan reassured you, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “You’ll be fine. They’re going to love you.”
“Any pointers?”
“Ah! Minnie has first words, like me!” Jisung told you.
And then he pulled up his shirt, presumably to show you the ‘Surprise?’ that was written in your handwriting on his right side, but all that you could focus on was the expanse of tan skin and slight abs that were now on display, your face betraying all your emotions even to those who couldn’t feel them.
Felix smirked. “Careful Hannie, we want her to be conscious when she meets Seungmin and Minho-Hyung.”
“Shut up!” You yelled in embarrassment.
Hyunjin and Jisung were cackling, Changbin and Jeongin giving you equally heated looks, and even Chan let out a little chuckle. You pouted, crossing your arms. When Jisung almost rolled off the bed from his laughter, causing Hyunjin to laugh even harder, you couldn’t keep in your own amusement, and you began to laugh along with them.
Chan shook his head with a smile “Jisung is right though. Seungmin has first words, so careful what you say to him.”
“Don’t you already know what I’m going to say to him?”
“Hmm, maybe.”
“Is it nice?”
“No hints!” Felix exclaimed.
“It’s sweet,” Chan reassured me, ignoring Felix’s yell of betrayal. “It took him months before he would even let us see it, but he reads those words every night before he goes to sleep.”
You smiled. “That’s good. What about Minho?”
“Hyung is like me,” Hyunjin told you, finally having caught his breath. His face was adorably flushed. “Unknown.”
“So, I won’t know until I meet him.”
“Yup.”
“Great.”
There was a knock on the door, Minho calling out to Chan, and everyone turned to look at you. You took another deep breath, and with a nod of reassurance to them, you went to let your last two soulmates in.
Two last puzzle pieces landed in your hands, and even though they weren’t in place yet, you could feel the building energy of the impending bond. You weren’t sure what to say, staring at the two waiting out in the hall who looked much more surprised to see you than you felt to be in their presence. None of you said anything for a few seconds.
Seungmin was the first to react.
“You must be Jeongin’s soulmate.”
Word traveled fast around Stray Kids. Considering that everyone knew to meet up in one room, and that Jeongin had only talked to Chan earlier, you were willing to bet that the original announcement of the Maknae meeting his soulmate had probably been relayed to a group chat of some sort.
It also meant that they weren’t aware of everything that had happened in the past half hour since then.
You gave him a tight smile, hesitant to say anything outright. Did you come out with what you wanted your first words to be? Chan mentioned something sweet, did you just blurt out every good thing you wanted to say to him? How long could you talk? How many of your words would actually end up on his skin?
You cringed at your own anxiety, unsurprised when a hand landed on your shoulder, and gave you a gentle squeeze.
“Hey guys.”
Chan introduced you to the last two members on your behalf, and Seungmin gave you a soft genuine smile. His bangs were falling into his eyes, but his hands were holding a shopping bag each, so he struggled to push it out of his eyes. It was soft, it was cute, it made your entire chest fill with love.
You forced yourself to look away before you tried to help.
Minho was completely silent.
His face was blank, his limbs loose at his sides, nothing to give away what he was thinking, or how he was feeling. To an outsider, he looked uninterested, maybe bored.
But his eyes refused to leave yours.
Except for the split second that he had eyed the hand on your shoulder, Minho had refused to look away from you since you had opened the door. Even when Chan pulled you to the side to let them pass, Seungmin gliding into the room with little more than a glance in your direction, Minho refused to look away. He stood motionless in the doorway.
“Lee Know-“ Chan started.
Minho seemed to snap out of his thoughts, his intense stare suddenly moving to the leader behind you. “Hyung.” He gave a nod in greeting, and without another word he walked past the two of you.
You and Chan shared a knowing look.
He knew.
You let Chan close the door as you hesitantly followed the dancer, unsure of his reaction. Was he upset? Disappointed? Or maybe he was unsure of the situation, maybe thinking he didn’t want to get in the middle of you supposed soulmate connection with ‘only’ Jeongin. Felix had cried at the thought of stealing his member’s soulmate. Was Minho the same?
The others were suspiciously quiet as the three of you walked out from the hallway, Minho immediately making his way over to the armchair in the corner of the room, dropping his shopping bags into Hyunjin’s lap as he passed. Seungmin was already perched on top of the bed next to Jisung, handing out snacks to the others from his own bag.
“Ah, I didn’t know if you would want anything, but I got some extra crackers if you want some,” Seungmin mused, holding out a packet of crackers towards you.
You accepted them with nothing more than a nod, remembering now that you had forgotten to get food from the café like you had been planning that morning. You had already planned on being on your way to your first tourist destination by now too, but it seemed all your plans for the day were officially derailed.
The others held their breaths, but Seungmin either didn’t notice your lack of words, or simply didn’t care. Instead, he continued to pull the last of the drinks out and hand them out. The others were staring at you two intensely, subtly apparently not their strong suit.
You glanced back at Minho, wondering how you were going to go about this reveal. Chan was sitting on the arm of the chair with him, whispering in his ear. When they noticed you watching, Minho’s blank face shifted, a smirk growing over his face.
He definitely knew.
You didn’t know exactly how much Chan had told him, the leader only giving you an encouraging smile, but you knew that at this point everyone in the room was an audience to a performance between you and Seungmin. Said singer had finished his job of distributing his haul and was now looking at you.
You slowly sat down next to him, staring intently at the crackers in your hands.
“Hey, Felix. Did you see this new video?” Jisung suddenly said, sliding off the bed and moving to the circle forming on the ground.
The others seemed to take the hint, talking amongst themselves, and pretending like they weren’t paying intense attention to you two. Seungmin tilted his head, an awkward smile on his face, passively watching the others without interacting. Jeongin glanced at you two, and he reached out momentarily to squeeze your hand.
Seungmin glanced at you.
You pulled away, pushing yourself higher up on the bed so you could cross your legs, inadvertently pushing yourself closer to Seungmin. The singer looked away for a second, and then leaned in with his gaze on a painting on the wall.
“Are you okay?”
You turned to him, wide eyed and panicked. You gave him a sharp nod.
“It’s just, you look a little nervous. I know it’s a lot … these guys, they’re a bit to get used to, but don’t let them scare you. They’re all really cool, especially Jeongin. He’s a good guy.”
You nodded, looking away. Minho and Chan were still watching you two, neither one of them hiding their amusement.
“You can talk to us, you know. Tell us if you’re feeling overwhelmed, let Jeongin know what’s on your mind. He’s got a lot of love, and he’s a great friend. You can trust him.”
You bit your lip to keep from blurting out ‘I know’, not wanting that to be your words towards him. Something sweet, something brief, something he’d think about every time he goes to sleep.
“If you don’t want to say anything, that’s fine. Take your time. But are you sure you’re okay?”
You finally turned to look at him, your faces only inches apart. Your mind froze.
“I-“ You blinked, and realizing you had technically just spoke to him, decided to just pull forward. “I’m really happy to finally meet you. You’re everything I’ve ever imagined.”
Felix, you would be told late, had mouthed the words along with you. The others immediately broke into cheers and your face burned with embarrassment, but you couldn’t bear to hide away from face because you would miss out on the look of pure amazement and shock that Seungmin sported.
“You … you’re my soulmate?”
“She all of our soulmate!” Changbin exclaimed.
“All?”
“I have 8 soulmates,” You explained, nodding towards the rest of the room. Seungmin looked at the others, his eyes furrowing. “Sorry you were the last to know. I didn’t know what to say, I wanted to make sure it was … sweet.”
“It is,” He muttered, still looking dazed.
“Good,” You whispered.
“Cute,” Jisung whispered, leaning in close to both of your faces.
Seungmin let out a groan, pushing Jisung’s face away. The others were all smiling like they were watching a rom com play out in front of them, Hyunjin even pressing his fists against his mouth to keep himself from making any noise. You rolled your eyes at them.
“Wait, what do you mean the last to know? How did Hyung figure it out?” Seungmin exclaimed, turning to Minho.
Changbin yelled something and Minho replied in Korean, Felix thankfully translating for you.
‘Body Glow’. He knew the moment you opened the door, your skin enveloped in a soft glow that only he would be able to see.
The others all started talking over themselves, and Felix didn’t even try to translate the sudden yelling and overlapping exclamations. Instead, he took the opportunity to pull you down onto the bed while burying his face into the crook of your shoulder like he had before, something you had a feeling would become common practice. Not wanting Seungmin to be left out, you grabbed his hand gently and pulled him down next to the two of you.
He squeezed your hand back.
There was an image forming in your head. Your head felt lightheaded from the amount of love you accepted, the world tilting from the soul bonds that were forming.
The bodies at your side, warm and comforting.
Changbin pushing Jeongin with a smile, the youngest pouting.
Jisung saying something that sounded like he was teasing them.
Hyunjin, laughing at the others, clapping his hands as he fell back.
Chan, smiling so hard that his eyes had closed, his body leaning completely on Minho
 And Minho, still staring at you with a smirk.
The pieces of the puzzle had finally completed your heart.
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