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writersblockedx · 1 year

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Loose Ends: Chapter One

Chapter One: Insects

Based off - Episode One Pairing - Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Warnings - General violence, language, a good bit of angst Words - 6.3k

A/n - Hello! Welcome to my the last of us rewrite! I wasn’t sure whether or not I was going to write this as I’ve never tried to start a rewrite without having watched the full series first. I’m hopping everything I’ve planned for the reader’s character works out and I hope you enjoy it!

⇨ Next Chapter Read on: AO3 Wattpad

Masterlist

There was a hasher side to having the job Y/n did. But, the bad things were lucky they didn't weigh out the good. She had a job that not many could replace. At least, not yet. She may not occupy the great muscle that soldiers did but she held knowledge above a college level. Without, any sort of school system left standing, Y/n was a rarity many had fought over. Though, she found herself settled in Boston for the last ten years.

A very long, a very complicated ten years.

She wiped the used needle, putting it back in its box of the remaining free that they had no choice but to keep using over and over. The woman turned, halted by the figure standing in the doorway between the hall and her makeshift office. She shifted and her expression turned sour as a huff fell from her lips, "I thought you were avoiding me."

Joel was leant against the door frame, hands in his pockets ever so lazily. "Apparently Doctor Davis is unavailable." He informed as his gaze guided along her. "And I'm in need of pharmaceutical resources."

She shook her head, "Doctor Davis was demoted because he failed inventory. Lost some painkillers and couldn't explain it. We came to the conclusion a smuggler was behind it." The man tensed. "Whatever it is you want Joel, I'm not helping you."

"What about a check-up?" He pressed.

"You want a check-up?" She gestured to a group behind him, analysing some lab work, yet they lacked the lab coat that hung around Y/n's shoulders. "Get one of the junior doctors to do it for you."

Joel glanced back at them and scoffed, "You mean your little science projects?" He raised a brow which seemed to taunt the woman.

She walked from the middle of the room towards the door. And even with him towering over her, her stern expression didn't dare to break. "I'm not giving you anything, I'm not helping you. So whatever has brought you here after a year, I can't do-"

"It's Tommy." He interjected, his gaze falling down to meet hers. Her lips shut. "Its been three weeks. He hasn't responded."

Y/n thought on it for a moment but the second her eyes met with Joel's, he knew it was a lost cause. "That's got nothing to do with me anymore, just like you don't."

He peered behind him, catching sight of the working group once again. He looked back and leaned in slightly, his words only a hushed whisper, "I know you don't owe me anything, but-"

"You're right." She cut him off like her tongue were a knife. "I don't owe you anything. I'm sure you or Tess will figure something out." It took Y/n a lot, but she looked him in the eye and she swore all she could see was a flicker of a memory she had forced herself to forget. "Now, if you don't mind, I've got somewhere to be."

But Joel nodded and took the rejection in his stride as he turned his back to her and exited the building.

Y/n wasn't lying. She had somewhere to be. Somewhere she needed to be desperately in fact. She left the building with a bag of her usual medical supplies. This was her third time sneaking around in the last week; she was surprised no guards had started to catch on. Then again, as Joel had once put, the white lab coat she wore seemed to open every door and drew any attention away from her.

She took the same route. Though, as organised with Marlene, never the same time. Y/n's lab coat couldn't quite hide her from everything, she still had to be smart. She slipped into the Fireflies building, unnoticed and, seemingly, safely.

There were a few people dotted around, all of them tightly focused on their individual tasks.Y/n didn't have to walk far until coming across Marlene, likely planning within the space of her own head. "Hey," The woman greeted, wandering around the table where maps were laid out. She jolted a little, only settling when her gazed settled on Y/n. "Jesus, what's up with you?"

Marlene huffed as she looked back to the papers scattered beneath her, "Got some new resources coming in before we move." She informed.

"Since when did that put you on edge?" The other girl questioned.

She finally pulled her gaze from her maps, finding her palms settling on her hips. "Since it's a new smuggler whose delivering."

Y/n nodded her head in realisation, "Ah, right." She uttered before her eyes pulled to a door situated across from them. "You spoke to her yet?"

Marlene looked to the door too, "Yeah. Once we get this stuff, we're gone." Y/n met the gaze of her friend and found a glint of regret surged through her pupils. "You can still come if you want."

She flashed an apathetic smile, "You know I can't." As much as she may have wished she could. "I'm the only doctor they've got left in this zone."

"What happened to Davis?"

Y/n could have laughed. In fact, she almost did, "Helping Joel smuggle painkillers." By the expression Marlene wore, she wasn't all that surprised by such. "I'd go with you if I could, but you can get her out of here and you keep her safe better than anyone else ever could."

Marlene shifted in her stance, her expression softening, "You can still come with us. We'll find somewhere with better medical supplies, somewhere that's safe-"

"Marlene," The girl cut in. "Nowhere is 100% safe, I think here is the best place for me." She went on, taking a cautious step forward as her voice lowered, suddenly aware of the ears which could be listening in. "There will be other scientists, other medics, whatever you need will be out there to maybe do something." She assured.

"We'll miss you." She sent a smile which was easily returned.

"I know." Y/n was already walking out the room as she continued, "How long have I got to do vitals?"

"Dealer should be here in five."

Y/n nodded in understanding and fully turned, heading for the room Ellie was still stuck in. As she had been doing for two weeks now, the girl entered the room with her bag of medical supplies and a smile she hoped would comfort the kidnapped girl. Ellie wore the same clothes she came in. Yet, now, she was freed from the chain which once kept her here, along with having her bag returned to her.

At the sound of the door opening, Ellie stood, relaxing only a little when Y/n walked further into the room. "You're still here." She observed with knitted brows as if she hadn't expected it.

Y/n unzipped her bag, pulling out the damaged and remaining supplies she had. "What? You miss me?"

"That lady-" She gestured her head towards the doorway.

"Marlene?" Y/n questioned.

To which, Ellie nodded and continued, "Said I was leaving. I wasn't expecting the FEDRA doctor to come with me."

"I'm not coming with you." She broke to the younger girl.

Something of which seemed to insight panic, "You're not?"

Still, with that comforting smile which wasn't doing a brilliant job, Y/n shook her head. "I can't." She started walking further into the room. "Come on, sit, I still need to check your vitals before you go."

Ellie wasn't certain but she took to the floor as Y/n did. The woman reached for the blood pressure machine and as she always did, she turned to find Ellie had already rolled up her sleeve. "What will you do now then?" Inquired the girl.

Y/n didn't look away as she strapped the machine around her arm, turning it on as it started to squeeze against her skin. "Nothing different." She answered mindlessly.

She waited until the machine relaxed around her arm before continuing, "You know they tell stories about you at military school."

The older woman barely looked up from jotting down the results as she answered, "And do you bother to believe them?"

Ellie shrugged, "Some are a bit far-fetched." She thought aloud with a hum as Y/n reached for a thermometer. And, as had become routine, Ellie looked to the side as Y/n scanned her ear. "Mainly the ones that call you a murderer."

She chuckled, "And what are they becoming in military school I wonder." The thermometer beeped and Y/n pulled it back. Once again, noting down the results. "I wish I could come with you, you know." She admitted.

"Then why don't you?"

Y/n thought on it for a moment. She thought about avoiding the answer all together but that curious glint in Ellie's eyes seemed to insight her. "Because them stories you've heard, they travel further then your little military school."

The younger girl was about to give a reply when the mutterings from outside the door got louder. At first, Y/n wasn't going to pay much attention to them. That was until she caught the words woven between the sudden sharp tones. "This wasn't what we agreed." Yelled Marlene.

A sickening scoff was sounded, "Oh, was it not?" Taunted another voice. Y/n wasn't certain, but she made an assumption it was the new smuggler. Obviously not one to be trusted by the sound of things.

She glanced back to Ellie who was listening just as intently as she were. "Stay here." Y/n instructed.

Ellie watched with wide eyes as the woman slowly crept closer to the doorway, keeping low to the floor as to not give away her location. Well, more importantly, as to not give away Ellie's location. She peered her head around the doorway, lucky to find most backs faced her. The smuggler and his fellow guard dogs were talking to Marlene and a few other loitering fireflies.

"Look, I don't know what your plan is here, but either you're going to get what we actually agreed on or we're gonna have a problem." Said Marlene.

She scanned the various smugglers. Their ripped and ragged clothes. And then the pistols which hung from their belts, accompanied with shivs and other blades. A part of her worried for the woman who was facing the group, but Y/n knew Marlene could handle herself. And while she was certain Ellie could too, she took the decision to protect her.

With a sharp inhale, Y/n delicately pressed the door shut, holding her back against it. She met Ellie who had still yet to move from her spot. "You got a gun in that backpack of yours?" She questioned, quietly, gesturing to the bag which was near the girl.

The girl didn't speak. Instead, she rummaged through the bag and pulled out a very small pocket knife. Not a gun, not a dagger, just a small, blunt pocket knife. Y/n could have sworn they were dead there and then.

"I don't think that's how this is gonna work!" Snapped the male voice, immediately followed by the sound of gunshots.

Y/n stiffed and her gaze jumped to Ellie. She gestured her head for the girl to come next to her. She followed, scurrying across the wooden floor as her back leant aginst the door like Y/n's did. The sounds of bodies getting hit and thrown jumbled with groans of pain. Y/n reached out her palm as Ellie passed the only thing they had to protect themselves. She had no plan on moving from this room. She would wait it out. The only problem which plagued her was if they dared to look in the locked room.

Alas, long moments passed of holding their breath before the gun shots dwindled out. The sound of movement was limited to the sound of body's dropping and suddenly, the only noise from outside their room was the mumbles and groans that Y/n struggled to make out. "Is it over?" Whispered Ellie from her side.

The younger girl was looking up at her for assurance that she was unable to give. So Y/n kept her gaze to the floor as she focused on every sound she could catch. "I don't know yet."

The groaning continued and Y/n thought about escaping the comfort of the room which was keeping them hidden. Then came the footsteps. More than just a pair and that was enough to keep her body and Ellie's behind the door. "Shit," She heard Marlene curse. Another voice replied in a soothing tone which told her the girl was safe.

"It's Marlene." Ellie noted, worry glazing her pupils as the two looked to one another.

"I know." Y/n huffed.

"Well, aren't we going to do something?"

The expression written over the woman's face gave Ellie her answer. She wasn't going to do something. Not yet, anyway. So in an act of desperation, Ellie snatched her pocket knife back and busted the door open.

"Ellie, don't!" Her voice screeched. Y/n scurried to her feet, attempting to grasp the young girl, but she had slipped from her fingers.

Though by the time the words had slipped from her tongue, Ellie had been thrown to the floor again and Y/n found herself faced with the barrel of a gun. A gun that was held by Joel Miller. "Y/n?" Questioned Joel as if he didn't quite believe it.

And, in a similar fashion, she did the same, "Joel?" Their eyes both snapped to the end of the hallway where Marlene was stumbling with a gunshot wound, held in a steady position by Kim.

Then Y/n's eyes jumped to Ellie and her expression simply read: Told you so. Y/n looked passed the gun that was still held at her head, "Ellie? You okay?" She asked, glancing between the weapon and the teenage girl.

She hummed something along the lines of a, "Yeah." before reaching out for the pocket knife, almost bruising her fingers as Joel stepped on it, keeping it from use.

"Ellie." Called Marlene. At first, the girl seemed too captivated with sending a death glare to Joel that she hadn't dared to turn away. "Ellie." Marlene repeated, more stern and forceful than before, prompting her to finally look away.

Her eyes found Marlene's face first, then they jolted to the blood which was drowning her t-shirt. "Oh, shit!"

Marlene hovered a hand in front of her as if silently saying it was okay. "No, it's okay. I'll be alright." She lowered her gun. "You can't be stupid like this."

"Trust me," Y/n spoke up. "I'd tried to stop her." The two were like scolding parents with a disruptive child.

Y/n only caught a glance, but a glance was enough to process the puzzled, tender emotion that was painted over Joel's face. Even if he had yet to move that gun from her. "So this is who Robert screwed us over with?" Came another voice as they rounded the corner: Tess. "The Che Guevara of Boston and the FEDRA medic turned firefly?" She scoffed as if it were laughable. "War must be going pretty shitty for you to buying from scumbags like him."

Y/n found her eyes rolled but her lips stayed tied shut while Marlene replied, "Yeah, it kinda has been. Merch was bad and he didn't take fuck off for an answer." Which would explain the voices her and Ellie had overheard before the gunshot started.

"What about you?" Y/n's gaze jumped between Joel and Tess. "The hell are you doing here?"

Tess snapped back before Joel could, "None of your business."

"Give me my knife." Demanded the voice from below.

The voice of which had been ignored. "What do you need a car battery for?" Joel interrogated.

Ellie moved when she shouldn't have. Maybe the fact she was ignored had prompted her on as she reached for her knife anyway. Thus, leading to the gun once pointed at Y/n to point at her. Marlene and Kim both raised their weapons. And with nothing else, Y/n swiftly pulled the shiv from Joel's belt, swinging it around his throat.

It hovered over his skin just as the gun hovered over Ellie's forehead. "Don't point it at her." She stated in a slow, firm tone which had seemed to send a shiver down Joel's spine.

He didn't dare move. So he gave a harsh whisper in reply, "Then where the fuck am I meant to point it?"

"I don't care." She said. "Just not at her."

So, with that, Joel's hand moved. Rather than point to Marlene or Kim, Y/n felt it prod below her ribs. Sharp and prominent that it made the thought of breathing fearsome. "Why do you need the car battery?" He asked again.

This time, Y/n felt obliged to answer, "For a much better reason than you do." He pushed the gun further into her skin and she tensed.

Luckily, Marlene swept in to continue, "Tommy's just one man." She felt the gun relax slightly at the mention of Joel's brother. "It's our business to know things."

"To know things." The man reiterated. "You're the cause of it. You turned my own brother against me."

"Not the only reason." Y/n mumbled, expecting that to cause Joel to push the gun against her skin again. Alas, it seemed to just keep his lips sewn shut.

Within the silence, Kim brought everyone back to current matters at hand, "That was a lot of gun fire. FEDRA's gonna be on their way." As if they didn't already have enough to deal with.

"I know." Marlene nodded.

Y/n looked over Joel's shoulder, "What do we do now?" It was obvious Marlene was stuck in a thought. A thought of which she didn't seemed to like. "Marlene?"

She sighed but let on such thought, "We were going to move Ellie out of the zone tonight. But we won't make it anywhere like this. Not for a while." She explained. "So now I'm thinking, you're gonna do it."

The shock from both parties encouraged them to pull away as the shiv left Joel's neck and the gun left Y/n's ribs. Spontaneously, together, there came a chorus of negative responses:

"What? Marlene-"

"I'm not going with them!"

"The hell we are."

Glances were shared between the three of them; all of which opposed this very stupid idea. "Who is she?" Tess inquired, considering this deal.

"To you, she's cargo." Suppose that was how they were sure to look at this.

"We don't smuggle people." Said Joel.

Kim looked over at Marlene and offered, "I can do it."

That was instantly shut down by the wounded woman, "Kim you don't have a fucking ear on your fucking head." And that plan went out the window just as quickly as it had come in. "There's a team of fireflies waiting for her at the old State House. We were going with a whole squadron for that very reason. But now I don't have a squadron or a truck. FEDRA's five minutes away. What I do have is you."

Maybe it was practical, but it was still a stupid idea with how delicate they must handle this situation. "Why can't Y/n take me?" Ellie queried.

Tess had scoffed at the idea of that as she stared at the doctor, "Because she's got no idea how to survive without these walls which keep her precious prestige."

She could only reply to Tess with a deadly glare that did nothing. But as she looked back to Joel, she spoke up, "I know what you're both capable off." A glint passed through the man's eyes that she couldn't pinpoint. "For better or for worse."

"What are they capable of?" Came that vulnerable voice from below.

Y/n's gaze flickered to Ellie before back to Joel, "We can give you what you need to find Tommy, not just the battery."

Marlene backed that up, "Just get her to that house safely."

It seemed they were on the brink of a deal when Ellie had to throw in a curve ball. "I'm not going without one of you." She was peering over at Marlene and Y/n, that worry still lingering in her pupils which sparked guilt.

"I'll just slow you down." Marlene pointed out, still having that gushing red pool at the fabric of her shirt.

So then eyes landed to Y/n. The automatic answer of 'I can't' didn't seem to follow. Not when she was facing Ellie's desperation to feel secure with someone she could trust. And it took her a long moment before she sucked it up, "Okay, I'll go with you." She decided.

"Y/n-" Marlene was about to remind her of what she already knew, about what could be awaiting her out there if she wasn't careful.

"It's okay." Y/n assured.

"Well this will be a first." Critiqued Tess. Again, something that had earnt her a glare from Y/n as she was left with nothing else to respond with.

The couple soon met eyes, Joel nodding his head before they trailed over to have a silent conversation. Y/n took that as her chance to move over to Ellie, handing the knife back over to her. "Talk it through but please remember I'm bleeding out over here!" Yelled Marlene.

That seemed enough to draw their ever so important conversation to a close. "Alright, here's the deal." Tess started as she spun on her heels to face the group. "The three of us will get her to your crew at the state house but before we hand her over, they give us everything that we want. If not, we kill her. There and then." As in true Tess fashion.

And, almost too quickly, "Deal." Agreed Marlene.

"Really?" Ellie uttered. "That fast?"

"You are all that matters." Marlene said. "My team will not jeopardise that."

Y/n helped the girl back up to her feet, "Come on, lets get your stuff." She gave one more glance to Joel and Tess before wandering back into the room.

Ellie grabbed her backpack and Y/n stuffed her medical supplies back into her bag. By the time they exited the room, Marlene was by the doorway, offering a pistol to Y/n. "Just in case." She uttered.

She glanced between the weapon and the woman who had grown to become her friend. "Do I get one?" Ellie beamed.

In synch, they both snapped back, "No." Before Y/n took the offer, shoving it in the waistband of her jeans.

"You stay safe out there." Was the last thing Marlene said to her before her and Ellie were trailing behind the smugglers. Joel took one last stare and Y/n overheard Marlene as she practically threatened the man, "Don't fuck this up."

There came no reply from Joel. Instead, he must have nodded his head and continued on with the rest of them. They tread through the pouring rain. Pace in their step as they walked against the curfew. Ellie was smart. Any whiff of a solider and she had her face hidden. Right up until they entered an apartment complex.

Tess led the way, stopping at what Y/n assumed to be their apartment, unlocking it. She slipped in first and held the door open. Ellie wandered in first, her curious eyes translating between this new surrounding. And Y/n followed her. Which was when Tess moved. "Give us a minute." She stepped back through the doorway, and before either of them could realise what was happening, the door was slammed right in their faces.

"What the fuck!" Exclaimed the young girl, while Y/n found it to be expected. Tess had never particularly warmed to her.

Ellie huffed as her back hit the wall. Y/n took further steps into this apartment that wasn't her own, but seemed to have speckles of her memory. Most memories which had Joel attached to them. The blanket they had once shared, the old board games she had been adamant they kept, the books which words were rich, but their pages were lacking in such as they started to tear. As Y/n kept walking, her eyes fell to the paper insect that hung by the window.

The cutout butterfly glistened against the street lights, it's colours reflecting into the room. It was a haunting memory of someone Y/n was still certain came as a comfort to Joel. "Do you trust them?" Ellie questioned, finally moving from the wall she had once been leaning against.

Y/n peered away from the butterfly, "I trust Joel's need to find his brother." Their voices still lingered outside. When the girl looked to Ellie, she was sat in a deadpanned expression, urging for more information. To which, Y/n obliged. "For now, I trust them. I'll let you know if it changes."

Ellie started snooping herself. Though, not for what parts of her might still linger in this room, but for what she could use as leverage. Something better than a blunt pocket knife, she hoped. "How do you know 'em?" She wondered as her fingertips tranced a bookshelf by the window.

"Old friends." Y/n uttered and Ellie hummed in response as if she didn't quite believe her but didn't bother to pester further into the topic.

"Tess!" Yelled Joel's voice from the other side of the wall. Y/n turned, facing the door which was still closed on them. Then she looked to Ellie who was flicking through a music book. "Tess!" He repeated.

Soon after, he entered the room, clearly not in any better of a mood. He threw his bag to the side and headed for the couch without muttering a woad. "So?" Ellie spoke up. "Who's Bill and Frank?"

His eyes widened slightly before meeting Y/n who had seated herself in the armchair by the window. "Didn't I tell you she's good at eavesdropping?" The woman raised a brow.

Ellie continued on: "The radios a smuggling code, right?"

Again, Joel looked to Y/n for an answer. "Or that's she catches on quickly?"

"60s song they don't have anything new, 70s they've got new stuff." She went on, reading from a note tucked into the thick book. Joel stood from the coach. "What's 80s?"

He snatched it from her hold and threw it to the battered coffee table which was somehow still standing. Then he returned back to the coach, getting comfy against the fabric once again. Y/n was just about to turn her head to the window, when Ellie piped up again. "What are you doing?" She was standing over Joel.

"Killing time." He said without taking a peak back at her.

"Well what am I suppose to do?" She snapped.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out."

Ellie spun, facing Y/n who didn't have any excuse for Joel's unwelcoming ways. She took the book back, dragging a chair over to where Y/n was sitting. "Your watch is broken." She pointed out as if Joel were unaware.

That time, his eyes pulled open, meeting Y/n. They both thought the same thing but neither of them made a move to voice it. Ellie huffed harshly as she sat down, "Why were you friends with him again?" She asked.

Y/n stole one more peak at the man who had shut his eyes again, though was still obviously listening, and she chose it best not to answer. Her gaze pulled to the window as she attempted to wash away the thoughts of the day. She wasn't sure yet if she had just made the worse decision she could, but leaving this zone was the biggest risk she could possibly take. Only time would tell if that risk was going to come back to haunt her.

Hours must have passed. The sun set and curfew was soon enforced. Ellie had shut the song book and joined Y/n in staring out the window like it was the most entertaining thing in the world. Somewhere along the lines, Joel stared to stir back awake. Ellie noticed first, "You mumble in your sleep."

Y/n turned her head, confused as she expected Ellie to be talking to her, only to find her eyes centred on Joel. The man pulled himself up and the young girl continued on with her words, "I've never been on the other side of the wall. Look how dark it is. You guys go out there a lot?"

"I guess." Joel answered, still in between the state of dreams and consciousness.

"When was the last time?"

His eyes flickered to Y/n before he said anything, "A year. Maybe." He shook his head, seeping into a different topic, "What's it matter?"

Ellie shrugged, "You know where to go. So were gonna be okay?"

Silence passed and neither of the adults in the room knew how to answer that question. It seemed a matter of false hope or reality. "Yeah," Y/n finally uttered. "We'll be fine." Or so she prayed they would be.

"What's the deal with you anyway?" Queried Joel. "You some kind of bigwigs daughters or something?"

Y/n replied before giving Ellie the chance, "Since when did you ask questions?" She snapped like the words meant something.

Joel shifted at that, standing from the couch in an act of opposition. "Sorry," He spat back. "I won't do it again." Y/n watched as he turned his back to her, wandering over to the kitchen tables. Suddenly, she was wishing she had given the chance for Ellie to speak first, a guiltly feeling burdened her gut that she knew wasn't going away any time soon.

"Oh, the radio came on while you were sleeping." Uttered the younger girl once tension had sizzled slightly.

Joel snapped back around as Y/n scolded her, knowing where this was going, "Ellie-"

But it was no use, "What?" The man rushed. "What was the song?"

"He kept saying like 'wake me up before you go-go'."

Joel looked down, "Shit." He muttered to himself.

And such had ever so easily given him away. A smile tugged at Ellie's lips as she said, "Gotcha." It was with that when Joel finally caught on too. "80s means trouble. Code broken."

"I did warn you." Y/n added.

The man was about to point his finger and scold the girl just like Y/n usually did when the door swung open again. Tess walked in and all three of them stayed silent. "The spot under Lancaster looks good." She informed before pointing to Ellie. "You got a jacket in your pack?" She nodded and then Tess glanced over to Y/n. "What about you, prestige? Got something other than that lab coat?" Her response was a silent one, the answer given to Tess by the expression which was written over her face. "Of course, you haven't."

Joel was already moving as he spoke, "I'll go get you one from the war-"

Some material hit her chest before he could finish. The man stopped, seeing as Tess had thrown her one from her bag anyway. No one dared to say anything. Y/n slipped from her lab coat to Tess' jacket within the matter of a moment before she announced, "Let's go." And with that, the rather dysfunctional group exited the apartment, uncertain as to when they would return.

The streets were littered more than usual. Soldiers lined the roads, their guns aimed and trucks patrolling the area. Each of them stayed clear of the light, weaving and tangling through the bodies which could easily catch sight of any of them. They were lucky to get so far. Though, once they were outside of the wall, loitering on the outskirts, it may as well not have been worth it.

Tess led the way, turning a corner they didn't realise was going screw them over. "What the hell?" They all stopped at the voice they didn't recognise as one of their own. They turned, a soldier starring at each of them, all while his zipper was undone.

"Shit," Y/n mumbled, instinctively nudging closer to Ellie.

The man scurried to make himself some-what presentable before addressing the group. "Hey, hey! Don't move!" He threatened and they are raised their hands at the sight of the rifle he grasped. And then he uncovered the front of his helmet, "You got to be shitting me."

Y/n looked to Joel; of course, she should have known. "Okay let's talk this out-"

"Turn around!" Suppose he wasn't in a talking mood. "Get on your fucking knees!" He demanded when none one of them moved.

"Now, hold on-" Joel tried again.

And again, he failed. "What did I fucking tell you man? Stay the fuck home."

Y/n glancd to the man, "Glad to know you shared that information with the group." She huffed.

"Get on your knees!" He ordered again.

This time, Tess moved. "Just get on your knees." The woman said. And they followed her, dropping to the dirt and mud. "Listen you let us do this run, we'll split the cards with you."

"Oh, will you?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

But Tesss' plan hadn't worked. He laughed and gave her the sarcastic reply of, "I'm so blessed." Which was followed by, "Put your hands on your head. Eyes forward."

"Really man?" Y/n looked across the line to Tess who was being tested.

Shit. Her eyes widened, soon to meet an equally worrisome Ellie. "Yep." Said the soldier. "We're doing this by the book." The machine beeped and Y/n knew her and Joel were all that stood between Ellie's life and the soldier.

"Alright, how about three-quarters?" Tess still nagged.

"Joel?" Y/n leaned over, her voice low in hopes to not gain the soldier's attention.

He looked between her and Tess a few times before finally listening, "What?"

"Unauthorised exit." Continued the guard.

"I didn't tell you everything." Y/n spoke up to Joel, lucky the guard was too focused on the beeping machine in front of him.

Joel's brows became knitted, struggling to follow her words in such dire situation. "They'll hang you for that." Informed the soldier as he moved behind the man.

"Fine!" Said Joel, bypassing Y/n's words for a moment. "Everything from this run and half off on the pills."

The machine beeped, followed by a scoff from the soldier. "Half of?" He reiterated like it was pitiful. He moved to behind Y/n as he responded, "All off!"

Y/n slowly brought her eyes to meet the man next to her. Her pupils empty as she knew what awaited them. And in that moment of complete uncertainty, she could only say one thing. "Joel." Her words were drowning in the type of fear he had only ever heard her say once before. And that's when he realised something was truly wrong.

The machine beeped behind her head before the soldier moved on to Ellie. Y/n couldn't take another breath. Not until she heard the soldier groan and stumble. The four stood to their feet, watching as the blunt pocket knife was soon shoved into the man's thigh. "Ellie!" Y/n snapped.

And while the girl had lept for Ellie, Joel lept for the guard. The rifle was soon pointed right at him. "Woah woah, we can fix this." Said Joel in the calmest tone he could muster in that moment.

The soldier gave one order: "Move."

And Joel didn't listen to it. He jumped forward, tackling him to the ground. The rifle was thrown to one side. Once given the upper hand, Joel started punching. And punching. He didn't stop until the breath from the guard's mouth did.

He slowed. He realised. And then he rose, turning to face what was left. Y/n was holding Ellie who seemed curious at the violence which had occurred. Not scared, just curious. He looked up and down between that sight and his bloody hand. There were thoughts plaguing his mind. Enough that it had pulled Y/n forward, as softly, she called, "Joel?"

It was more of a question, a prompt for assurance which wasn't given in return. She stepped closer to him until he was only looking at her. "Are you okay?"

He never got the chance to answer. "Joel! Joel!" Screamed a panicked voice from behind them.

Tess was showing the machine, the blinking red machine which meant infected. "I'm not sick!" Ellie claimed.

"Tess, you don't get it." Y/n went on as she jumped to protect Ellie once again.

"Look!" The younger girl yelled, rolling up her sleeve and the wound which painted her forearm. "This is three weeks old!" Tess inspected it herself. "Nobody lasts more than a day. This look a day old to you?"

Y/n went on to add, "You have to trust us Tess. Why else would the fireflies and a doctor be working together?" Tess seemed to be coming around to the idea. "Why are we all trying so hard to keep her fucking safe? Huh? We need to go, alright?"

The sirens made clear of that plan of action. Y/n took a hold of Ellie and Tess started to lead the way once again. "Joel!" Y/n yelled and the man glanced at her. "Come on, we gotta go!"

It took him a moment. He stared between the body and the girls which were already leaving before he started walking, grabbing the rifle as he did so. He joined the side of the woman he once loved as they followed the one he did love and the dead girl walking.

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damn-stark · 1 year

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Chapter 6 Precious girl’s

Tragedy at the Miller’s chapter 6

A/N- We’re close to the end

Warning- ANGST, swearing, blood and wounds, violence, long chapter, fluff :) and talks of suicide

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, OC x fem!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x08 & (part of) 1x09

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

*Crunch. Crunch.*

“Come on…”

*Crunch. Crunch.*

There’s no one out of the house yet, but the stupid rope around your legs and hands isn’t coming off.

“Stupid. AGH.”

*Crunch—*

There’s a falter in the person's approaching footsteps, so you peer back and this time see some grimy man under the door looking at you trying to take off your restraints.

Fuck. Fuck!

Trying to leave with both restraints tied around you wouldn’t get you anywhere so you continue to try and take off the restraints you have around your ankles, while the man runs at you to try and stop you. Which is really a waste of time on his part considering David wanted to kill you. Then again it is really fucking convivent for you that the man decided to spare you for whatever sick fucking reason. YET! You can’t get the restraints off no matter how much you mess with the rope.

“Come on! Come on!” You yell at the rope as it refuses to get off. And nevertheless the man reaches you before the rope can loosen and kicks you down to the ground.

“You aren't going anywhere,” he grumbles and climbs over you, causing you to cry out and tense.

Fear hits you, complete terror that threatens to paralyze you under the dirty man, heart racing panic grows out of the thought of what he was capable of doing as you’re restrained; as his nasty rancid breath swept over your nose and his sweat dripped down on your own sweat covered face. Especially as his eyes darkened as he studied your face.

“Let me go!” You bellow and try to drag yourself back, but he suddenly lays his fingertips on your waist, making your breath hitch and your body freeze.

Rather than being unable to move, pure raging adrenaline strikes you and let’s you swing your hands up his jaw. The man yelps and lifts his hands off you to grab his offended area, so you then don’t fret and pull your legs back and muster enough strength to kick his groin.

The musty man falls back and groans in protest, and out of a desperate attempt you begin to crawl away since your weapons were swiped. Which is why the man ignores his pain and flips around on his stomach to grab your legs and drag you back towards him.

You shriek and quickly hit him back rapidly until he lets you go when he can’t handle anymore hits. And luckily when you were kicking and he was pulling, you managed to loosen your restraints enough on your ankles that the man actually slipped them off when he was pulling, letting you push yourself to your feet.

Instead of running off back to the house you spin around on your heels with the thought to beat the man up and demand him to tell you where they took Ellie, but as you turn to face him you actually see…your dad, it’s actually him, limping and grabbing at his wounded side. And it’s the most heart-warming and reassuring sight, he doesn’t fail to erase all that fear you had just felt.

Furthermore, your dad storms over and kicks the man down with fury. Even once the man is laying back your dad stomps down on the man’s groin before using a rifle that isn’t his to knock out the man that had antagonized you.

“Daddy,” you gasp as you study him in disbelief.

Said man snaps his head towards you and immediately drops the anger that was painted on his features to look at you with a soft look before approaching you.

“Daddy,” you breathe out with a wobbly smile as you finally fully comprehend that he isn’t some vision. “But,” you mumble and look down at his side, catching that his shirt was stained with old blood, but nothing else since he does have his wound covered. “How?”

Your dad closes the gap between you to loosen the restraints off your wrists. “I don’t know how,” he mutters. “I heard Ellie and you and I just knew I couldn’t stay on my ass anymore.”

You let out a breathless chuckle and then look up at his face with a relieved smile. “I thought I almost lost you. I was so scared.”

He manages to rip the rope off your wrists and then snaps his eyes up to meet your gaze. “Not yet.” He says and cups your cheek to turn your head to the side to focus on something on your face. “They cut your cheek but luckily missed your eye.”

With all the panic and fear you didn’t even feel the pain on your face until he pointed it out.

“You’ll be okay,” he assures you and then tilts your head again to meet your gaze. “Did he hurt you in any other way?” He asks.

You shake your head. “No, no,” you tell him.

He lets out a relieved sigh, and you can actually see his shoulders slightly untense before he pulls you in for a surprising embrace that you quickly melt into.

The need to cry grows in the comfort of his arms but there’s one concern that doesn’t let you actually relax, so you pull back but keep your hands on his arms as you face him with anguish. “I’m sorry,” you mewl out. “I’m sorry…I was only trying to help but I lost her,” you ramble out from actual regret and worry, but also an already rooted fear that begins to regrow, making you tense under his hold. “It should’ve been me, I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to go that way. I was just trying to help you…” you trail off as you drop your head.

“Hey, hey,” he calls for your attention and lifts your head so you can once again face him. “I understand. I do. It’s not your fault….”

Your breath hitches and tears now roll out of your eyes at the sound of those exact words.

“Just help me find her. I…” he pauses and glances down, you follow his line of gaze and catch him looking at his wound. “I need your help.”

You sniffle and meet his gaze to nod quickly without hesitation.

“Do you know where they took her?” He asks.

You shake your head. “No, I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he assures you. “There’s another way we can find out,” he explains and looks over at the man he had knocked out. “There’s another one of them around here. He should be coming around soon, come.” He let’s go of you so you can follow him to hide behind a fence.

You wait for the other man then, but not for long just like he had said.

“Timothy?” The man calls out for his friend and unknowingly passes your dad and you as he walks in the yard. Once the man spots his friend's limb body on the ground he stops, making you grab your dads rifle and stand up from your crouched position.

“Oh, shit,” the man mutters and walks closer to check on his friend. You quietly sneak towards him and slowly begin to raise the rifle.

Somehow the man seems to feel your presence, or manages to catch you from the corner of his eye so he turns his head and catches you approaching him. Before he can move though you bring down the end of the rifle on his face and knock him out.

“This is what’s gonna happen,” your dad interjects as he pulls away from his previous spot.

You hum to press him while you snatch your backpack off the man that had you; Timothy.

“We’re going to take the two of ‘em, and make sure they’re not facing each other to question—”

“Oh,” you cut him off as you take back your pistol, knife, and lastly snatch back your rifle and both of the men’s bullets as well. Which they had plenty of. “It’s uncle Tommy’s method, yeah?” You turn and face your dad now standing near you. You knew all about that considering you’ve witnessed it multiple times, and done it by yourself once.

Your dad nods and doesn’t waste time to grab the feet of the man you just knocked out. “Grab him by his arms,” he tells you.

You step over Timothy to grab the other man’s arms and help your dad take him inside and tie him up against the wall. After that you proceed to bring Timothy in and tie him up against a chair, all before he could gain consciousness again—Which actually turns out to be quite a hassle since you don’t have time to wait for them to wake up.

Now torture wasn’t something you enjoyed doing, or were proud of, you made sure to avoid it when you could and rely on other tatics. But there are some moments that can only be solved with violence, and a coldness in your persona that you didn’t enjoy demonstrating.

Then again Timothy nor his cult of creeps deserved any kind of soft approach. Which is why it’s easy to shove snow in his face to force him to wake up from his slumber.

“Wha-Where the hell am I?” He yells out and begins to squirm under his restraints.

You walk up behind him to grab a cluster of his oily hair and yank his head up so he can see your dad in front of him.

“You!” Timothy sneers. “You’re that bastard that killed Alec.”

Your dad narrows his glare on him and ignores his comment to get right to the point. “Where’s the girl your friends took?”

Timothy tries to turn his head to look back, but you turn his head back to only face your dad. “I don’t know no girl,” he spats out.

Your dads eyes bounce to you to raise his eyebrow and tilt his head up slightly to share a speechless ‘your turn’.

You smirk and let the man go to slowly stride around him. When you’re in front of him you crouch down so he can meet your gaze. “Really?” You query with feigned curiosity. “You, know no girl?” You shoot him a smirk that makes his scowl falter—“I don’t quite believe you. Tell us again,” you press him one more time. “Where’s the girl David took?”

Timothy scoffs and shakes his head, “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Oh well isn’t he a damn good gaslighter? Fuck him.

From one second to the next your dad then walks over and swings his fist across the man’s face, landing a harsh right hook that makes you flicker your eyes away. Yet you don’t stay looking away, as the man refuses to answer, you watch as your dad violently throws one punch after the other until he can’t handle the pain on his side and steps back, but meets your gaze.

He doesn’t need to say anything for you to know that he wants you to continue hitting the man, he was still silent after all.

“I’ll ask again,” you interject as you step towards Timothy in hopes he’d give in this time. “Where is she?”

There’s no glance, or groan, there was nothing so you clench your hand and swing your fist, landing blow after blow. Each time tapping more and more into your anger over losing Ellie, and what this man wanted to do to you before your dad came.

There even came a point that it felt like you were blinded in some moments, but not because you enjoy it and get lost in the moment, but because even if there were reasons for the use of this violence, actually having to use it wasn’t something you enjoyed doing. You just have to mask that distaste well so the target won’t see you falter. And it’s because of that same dislike why you hoped the man would give in and spill the truth, but no, he keeps denying.

“Leave him alone,” the other man’s voice cuts in from the ground, startling you a bit.

You snap your eyes to the man and form a smirk on your face to intimidate him as you throw Timothy one last punch.

“You’re next,” your dad says and pulls his knife out, making you let out a deep breath and step back.

“Please,” Timothy begs now that the knife is pulled out. “I don’t know any girl.” He shakes his head.

You scoff and glance down at your raw and red bleeding knuckles and only catch the sound of your dad stabbing the knife in Timothy’s flesh instead of actually seeing it.

“Oh, fuck!” Timothy cries out.

“Jesus!” The other man complains, causing you to fist your hands before crossing your arms over your chest to then look up at the bloody scene.

“Marco,” Timothy groans and tries lolls his head back, but your dad quickly grabs him by the hair as he interjects.

“No-no, no-no-no,” your dad mutters and pushes the man’s head back to face him. “He can’t help you. You focus right here. Or I’ll pop your fuckin’ kneecap off.” He shakes his head and presses one more time. “Okay?”

“She’s…” Timothy begins to say between raspy breaths. “She’s alive.”

You feel your eyes brighten as you grow curious. “Where?” You ask and step forward.

However, Timothy hesitates to answer, making your dad twist the knife in the man’s knee. “She asked you a question,” your dad spats and only twists the knife more. “Where?”

“Ah, fuck! Fuck! Ah, the town!”

“What town?!” Your dad bellows.

“Silver Lake,” Timothy answers between pants.

Your dad lets Timothy go now, only making him cry out again. When your dad pulls out the map he had in his pocket, Timothy interjects.

“It’s not a real town name. It’s a resort.”

“A resort?” Your dad questions as if in disbelief to what was said.

And when Timothy doesn’t answer your dad pulls the knife out of his knee, causing him to yell. Your dad takes advantage of that and sticks the end of the knife in Timothy’s mouth.

“You’re gonna point to where we are,” your dad says as he gets the map close to the man. “And where your “resort” is. And it better be the exact same spot your buddy points to.”

“Okay,” Timothy mutters, and doesn’t hesitate now that he’s in pain and scared to point to where your dad said. Once he’s done he spits the knife out, letting your dad take the map whilst Timothy interjects. “That’s where we are.”

Nevertheless, your dad shows you the map and the bloody points Timothy marked down. “This look right to you?”

You squint your eyes and sigh. “David did say it was 2 miles away from here.” You confirm.

“I swear it’s right,” Timothy mutters. “Go ask him. He’ll tell you. I’m not lying.”

Only seconds later your dad catches Timothy off guard and stabs the knife in his stomach, making the other man now protest out of fear.

“No, no!”

Once again you mask your dislike well and look over at him to smirk. And that only makes the man more distressed.

“Shit! Jesus! No!”

Your dad lets go of the knife once Timothy is dead and now heads to the other man.

“Why the fuck did you do that?!” The man yells out. “He told you what you wanted!”

While your dad approaches the other man he first picks up a metal pipe before closing that gap.

“You motherfucker!” The man snaps. “Fuck you. I ain’t tellin’ you shit.”

“It’s okay,” your dad assures him. “I believe him.”

“No, no.”

Your dad lifts up the pipe and then violently swings down, bringing the man to death with one mighty swing.

“Are you okay?” Your dad immediately asks and throws the pipe aside to turn and face you.

You rip your eyes away from the now dead man and nod. “Yeah, just bloody knuckles that’s all,” you mutter and instead walk up to him to check on his wound. “What about you? Is it bleeding?” You ask, and let him lift his shirts to show you his wound.

“Given that they’re shitty stitches,” he says and glances down. “No.”

You narrow your gaze on the wound since you don’t want to touch it with your bloody and dirty hands, and just make sure that he really isn’t bleeding before you leave.

“Okay,” you mumble. “Looks good.” You step back and point to the door. “Let’s go.”

Now to tread through mountains of untouched snow, to witness as the cloudy sky darkened and sent a heavy blizzard that nipped at your uncovered face, and at your fingertips; that made seeing even beyond just a few feet impossible, and made walking that much harder already since your dad could hardly move. You know he was only keeping strong because of Ellie, because of you.

It’s very bad to admit but your dad and you were just navigating by pure instinct. Eventually there was some clearing as stationed cars came to view.

“We must be close!” You yell out over the wind so you can be heard.

Your dad drifts his squinted eyes to you and nods. “Yeah! Keep your eyes open for any lookouts!”

You nod and pick up your pace to walk ahead, you proceed to shield your eyes with your hand first before you slowly lift your head up more to look around for any gleam of a scoop, some kind of suspicious makeshift building, some kind of tower, or people. But there’s nothing.

Until finally there’s houses that you come across. Even then there’s no one, not even surprise attacks, besides the howl of the wind it’s quiet. It should be rather suspicious actually, considering that you also don’t come across any walls either, but then again after remembering that David couldn’t truly keep his people safe, just walking in without struggle wasn’t so surprising. The only problem you face now is figuring out where Ellie might be because the farther you walk in, the more buildings you see.

You can only hope she’s still alive, that creepy David hasn’t hurt her in any way, or that her bite mark hasn’t been revealed. You hoped that you’d hear something, gunshots even, something that’d lead you to her through all this mess. But there continues to be nothing.

Eventually after more walking, your dad grabs your arm to stop you. When you turn to face him he points to some kind of shop at your side, so you follow him but come to see that he immediately leans against the wall for a break….

What if it’s his heart?

“Are you okay?” You ask him and grab his arm as you face him.

He snaps his eyes to you and nods between pants. “I’m fine, I just—” he suddenly stops and his eyes focus on something behind you. You quickly follow his line of gaze and notice a blood trail lead inside the building. Can it be…Ellie’s blood?

It better not. It better not.

Before you can double check with your dad about walking in you turn on your heels and hurry to the door. You spot a lock so you don’t hesitate to break it to be able to walk into the dark room, your dad follows you in and closes the door behind you, welcoming darkness and some kind of warmth; also letting the metallicy smell of blood bombard your nose. Once you both turn your flashlights on you come to recognize that it’s a storage room of some kind; to the side there’s packets on shelves, and past that theirs bundled up clothes and backpacks on a shelf; one that your dad and you quickly recognize at the same time. Yet you don’t want to accept it at first.

There’s just…hard insinuations behind why Ellie’s backpack isn’t with her, all ones that make your guilt heighten as you can’t help but think of the worst.

“It’s hers,” your dad confirms what you tried to deny as he pulls the backpack out of the shelf.

You sigh and swallow thickly. That fucker better not have killed her, he better not have touched her.

“There’s more past there,” your dad breaks the silence and breaks your train of thought to make you follow where he’s pointing his flashlight to, another room behind a glass wall.

This time your dad slowly leads the way to the back room which remains quiet, you look around and try to hear if there can be additional footsteps, but there’s just your dad and you.

Once you’re able to walk into the back room you can’t help but let out a shocked gasp as the first things you see are the horses you came with dead on the floor.

“Come on,” your dad makes sure to pull your attention away from the horses by leading you ahead to find the exit.

Albeit just as he takes a few steps ahead he immediately comes to a sudden stop that you almost miss.

“What’s wrong—” you begin to proclaim, but stop the moment you look past the stacked canoes and catch what made him stop.

“Y/N,” your dad says and steps in front of you. “Don’t look, baby.”

Too late, he was too late to stop you from witnessing the gruesome sight of those headless bodies hanging from the ceiling. He was too late.

Regardless now if he blocked your view you still cover your mouth and shut your eyes. You gag and feel nothing but pure terror. Never in your past years of living through this apocalypse have you…come across uninfected people that…eat other people. Never.

Is that what they wanted to do with you? Is that what they want to do to—No. No, no. You won’t let it happen.

“She,” you mutter out as you move your hand off your mouth and open your eyes away from where the bodies are. “She’s probably not far, come on,” you urge your dad and walk ahead to get away from the gruesome scene.

The moment you walk outside though, the blizzard is worse and the snow is only thicker, obscuring your view that much more. However, even with the drifting wind you can still catch the smell of a nearby fire.

Maybe it’s her? It smells too much for it to be some chimney fire. So without hesitation you follow the smell, and your dad follows you without question.

Luckily you keep not running into any sort of trouble, it makes the resort almost seem abandoned. Plus the further you continue to follow the smell of smoke, the stronger it gets, and the further your heart sinks to your stomach out of concern that Ellie was caught in whatever fire is burning close by.

What would happen if you lost her too?

You can’t even think of the possibility. You ignore that thought as best as you can and only pick up your pace, coming close to the edge of the resort and spotting a lake just past a snowy field. The smell of the fire gets stronger, especially towards the side of you, so you turn the street and come face to face with flames breaking out the windows of some restaurant.

You want to get as close as you can to be able to see inside just in case, but alas, just across from you you spot Ellie walking out from the other side of the restaurant. Your dad spots her too and without saying anything you share a relieved look before he breaks away from you to grab her.

“No!” Ellie screams out the moment your dad touches her. “Get off of me!” She tries to fight away his touch, causing you to immediately halt in your steps just before you can also approach her, and just watch out of concern, confusion, and most of all guilt as to what happened.

“Get off!” Ellie keeps yelling out even as your dad turns her to face him.

“It’s me,” he tries to assure her, but she loses balance and falls on her knees and begins to hit him.

“Get—” she cuts herself and slowly stops fighting, but keeps hyperventilating.

“Hey,” your dad tells her softly as he holds her jaw. “Look.”

You take a step towards them on the ground and feel your breath hitch as you see blood splattered all over face, and the look of utter terror and shock written all over her face.

“It’s me…it’s me. It’s okay,” your dad consoles her as she studies him.

“He,” she mumbles, but doesn’t finish what she’s going to say for the first time, instead she pulls your dad in an embrace that he returns.

“It’s okay,” he keeps telling her as she cries into his shoulder. “It’s okay, baby girl. I got you. I gotchu.”

Besides feeling completely relieved to see her alive, you’re also hit with more guilt that strangles your heart. She’s feeling this distress, this agony because you failed, because you couldn’t keep her safe. She got taken because you failed her, she’s crying because of you. She’s hurt because of you. David hurt her because of you.

You let out a shaky breath and finally approach her as she pulls away from your dads embrace, and interject quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Ellie slowly lifts her gaze and watches you get on your knees by her and your dad.

“I’m sorry,” you repeat and slowly cup her cheek to wipe away the splattered blood that was on her face, while you cup her shoulder with your other hand. “I’m sorry.”

Ellie slowly places her hand on your arm as she studies you. And it seems that she actually looks relieved to see you, her eyes are soft as she holds your gaze, and her breathing keeps calming down instead of rising more.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” you mutter in a quivering voice. “I’m sorry, Ellie.”

More tears stream out of her eyes, and she then lets out a small breath before she surprises you by pressing her forehead against yours.

You tense up, but only because she catches you by surprise. She should be mad, furious at you, but she isn’t. She isn’t, she’s relieved to see you. Knowing that lets you close your eyes and bask in the comfort that she’s okay, that she’s not gone too.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you whisper. “I was so scared.” You pull back but only to wrap her in an embrace. Ellie hugs you back and presses her face against the crook of your neck, making you hold onto her tighter.

She doesn’t say anything, nor do you expect her to, you just hold onto her and feel grateful that she’s okay, that you didn't get lost again, and still have her; your unexpected light in your heart that Sarah had left dark.

——

*SOMETIME LATER IN SPRING*

“I had a weird dream the other night,” you mention to your dad as you lean against a kitchen cabinet whilst he searches the other cabinets.

“Okay,” he says. “Go on, tell me about it.”

You scratch the back of your neck and sigh. “So I’m on this big plane that’s full of people, and everyone is screaming and yelling ‘cause the plane is coming down, right.”

He hums and begins to search closer to where you are, so you peel away from your spot and shift to the middle of the RV’s hall.

“So I walk to the cockpit, open the door and there’s no pilot. I try to use the controls, but I obviously have no clue how to fly a plane, and,” you continue and watch him find two cans of food. “Right before we crash I wake up.” You draw out a deep breath and sit down on the bed. “I’ve never been on a plane. Isn’t that weird?”

Your dad scoffs softly and then turns to face you with the cans of food in his hands. “Well you know, dreams are weird.”

You bounce your eyebrows and nod. “Yeah.”

“But if you’re still scared of planes, then it makes sense,” he says and walks to you.

You press your hands on the edge of the bed and lean back as you watch him sit next to you. “Terrified. The few times I’ve been in a car I got really scared that suddenly a plane was going to come out of nowhere and crash near me. That’s why,” you nod. “Once we make out of this shit and they’re back on the sky I’m not getting on one. Never. Like what if we crash and explode, what then?”

Your dad shrugs and glances at the end of the bed. “You die.”

You blink rapidly in disbelief and turn your head to look at him, he feels your stare and slowly meets your gaze with a smirk.

“Simple logic,” he deadpans.

“Simple logic,” you mock him in a deep voice.

He begins to narrow his gaze and gets all serious, while you begin to smile. But it’s only for a minute because then you both begin to laugh.

Once you both calm down he hands you the cans he had found in the cabinets. You proceed to turn the can to read what it is, which to your surprise is something good.

“Mhm, 20 year old Chef Boyardee.” Your stomach growls, but it still isn’t time to eat so you hold back from opening it and hand it back to him instead. “My babysitter used to love cooking that for me. And when you had late nights at work that's what Sarah would cook for us.” You smile.

“He was always reliable,” he jokes.

You giggle and nod. “Still is, apparently.” You sigh, and look around the bed you’re sitting on and spot a broken guitar.

“She’s been…” your dad pauses. “Extra quiet today,” he points out what you had noticed as well—Well correction, that she’s been quieter than the other days because after leaving creepy David’s resort you noticed Ellie hasn’t been herself since.

“Has she talked to you?” He asks.

You glance down at your hands and sigh deeply. “No,” you admit but it’s not because you don’t want to, but well you understand what she might be going through. It’s not easy just bringing it up. “I,” you continue and blink to look at him. “I’m giving her space. I told her that when she wants to talk she can come talk to me.” It doesn’t take too much context to know what David wanted out of Ellie, you saw the creepy way he looked at her.

“It’s hard,” you add and turn your head to glance out the back window. “It takes a toll on you. I can’t say what she feels exactly, but as long as she knows you’re there for her that’s good, it’s the little things that matter.” You look at your dad and offer him a small smile before getting off the bed.

“Have you,” he adds but stops, and you hear him swallow thickly. “Have you been through something similar?”

You stop just past the kitchen and clench your hand into a fist and begin to gently hit your thigh. He’s just curious, worried, there’s nothing wrong with that, and it happened a while ago now.

Still, it’s never easy.

“Uhm, yeah,” you whisper. “When I was out on my own.” You peer at him over your shoulder and see a deep and sad frown on his face, and also notice his eyes are watery.

“You don’t have to worry,” you assure him. “I’m okay. I’ve,” you sigh. “Healed. She will too, just give her time.” You continue walking out of the Rv, but before you can walk down the stairs to get out, you point to the door. “Come on, let’s get goin’. The faster we do this thing the faster we get outta here.” You rush down the steps and jump down the last one, and immediately get greeted back by the brisky spring wind. Which in truth, it’s a lot more refreshing and better than the cruel and bitter winter winds, plus you don’t have to be wearing so much weight anymore either.

AND! The flowers are able to grow now, which is the best thing that you look forward to all the time.

“Ellie,” your dad calls out once he’s out of the RV. But nothing, she doesn’t respond or look back to acknowledge him. “Ellie,” he calls again and walks past you to call out for the girl again. “Ellie.”

Said girl finally looks back and meets your dads gaze from the back of the truck she was waiting on.

“D’ya hear me?” He asks her.

“No,” she says the truth. “What?”

You grab onto your backpack straps and try to read her face, but she’s a bit too far to get anything.

“Well,” your dad says. “I found this in there.” He points to the RV. “Beefaroni. Chef Boyardee.” He says as he lifts one of the cans to show her.

“Oh, cool,” Ellie responds with little energy.

Your dad walks closer to her, so you slowly follow behind him.

“And have you ever played this?” He asks her and shows off a box of some game you didn’t see him grab in the RV. “Boggle? It’s a word game.”

“Mh-hmm,” Ellie shakes her head.

“If you wanna beat me at somethin’ it would be this. Just don’t let y/n play, she's a cheater.” He scoffs in amusement and glances at you.

You shoot back a smile, and then tilt your head a bit to the side and notice Ellie simply nods as a response when he expected a witty response, when he wanted more. It’ll take her time, but it’s good to see him trying.

“Well, all right then,” he changes the subject. “We’re gettin’ close.”

Ellie nods. “Mm-hmm.”

“Hospital that way,” your dad points back, making Ellie look over her shoulder. “May be the one we’re lookin’ for.”

“Got it,” Ellie says and gets off the back of the truck now, letting your dad and you walk off so he can get his backpack he left close to the RV.

When Ellie catches up he pulls the rifle off his shoulder and looks to Ellie. “Take this for me?” He asks and hands her his rifle as he puts the stuff away. And as he does you slowly drift your eyes to the corner to look at Ellie, noticing her lose her gaze on the horizon ahead.

You want to ask her a simple question, but you also don’t want to be too pushy.

No matter how much you understand her desire to be quiet and keep to herself, you have to keep telling yourself that it takes time. That you can’t take her pain away no matter how much you hate seeing her look so upset and having her be so quiet.

Nevertheless, your dad takes his gun back and you all continue moving. This time you’re the one that interjects just to let her know you’re thinking of her.

“I’ve been thinkin’ now that the weathers gettin’ warmer, once we get back to Jackson we can go down to the lakes near there. I’ve heard that you can’t swim,” you mention and look at her, catching only a glimpse of her gaze. “I can teach you. Or we can. Would you wanna learn?” You look over at her again and wait.

However, Ellie doesn’t answer, making your dad cut in. “Ellie?”

Said girl blinks and looks at the both of you to query. “Hm? Oh, yeah.” She nods. “That’d be great.”

You offer her a soft smile and nod back. “Cool.” You then glance ahead to see the hospital sign that you follow before looking back at Ellie and noticing her lingering gaze.

She does look away when you turn, but she does a double take and parts her lips a bit. You keep walking, and wait as if you noticed nothing in hopes that would help her build the courage to say what you see her take her breath for. But no, she just slowly breathes out and remains quiet.

It’s okay.

“Once we get there,” your dad breaks the silence as you keep walking towards the hospital. “Is there going to be anyone you know?”

You let out a deep sigh and shrug. “Marlene, I don’t know about any others though. Besides, most of the fireflies I was close with are in Jackson, all the others well they’re gone. We’ll see.”

“Do you have a firefly tattoo, or what?” He asks, making you roll your eyes to the side to meet his gaze.

“No,” you answer. “Why would I?”

He smirks and shrugs. “Seems like you would. Maybe the catchphrase on your arm or somethin’.” He looks over at Ellie hoping she’d break a smile at what he said, but she remains lost in her own thoughts.

“My knuckles,” you joke and put your fists out. “One side one half and the other side the other half of the phrase.” You snicker and can’t help but glance over at Ellie too. But still nothing.

“It’d be stupid.”

“Yeah,” you agree with your dad and meet his gaze, he then looks to Ellie and back to you to pass a worried look that you respond with an assuring one as you pat his arm.

After that silence returns, this one is long since you do try to remain quiet when you enter the city, so as to not gain unwanted attention. Albeit the city is quiet, the deeper and deeper you get in that silence never falters. You would’ve expected some infected.

Then again if the Fireflies are really here then that would explain the lack of infected, and other survivors out—Still you can’t assure yourselves that there is no danger, you just can’t see that from the ground.

“Okay, so this is what I’m thinking—”

“Cut through that building to get around that stuff,” Ellie cuts your dad off, and refers to the rubble straight ahead blocking your path. “Find the skyscraper, go up and look around.”

You smirk in amusement since that’s exactly what he wants to do. And what you want to do too.

“Uhh, actually, this time I was thinkin’ we blast our way through that rubble,” he obviously jokes around, but you still snap your gaze his way. “I found some dynamite in that RV back there.”

“Really?” She questions him, making you smile softly as to how gullible she became when she’s with him.

“No,” he lets her down. “So we’re gonna cut through that building, find a skyscraper, go up and look around. But I had you goin’, didn’t I?” He queries as he looks back at her.

You watch her too and see her meet his gaze and nod. Not much, but it is something that you and your dad will take.

Anyhow, you now end up finding an easy way into the unfinished construction building that’s wrapped with sound kind of colored sheets.

“So,” you break the silence as you walk in after Ellie and your dad. “What are the covers for, huh?” You ask your dad as you study the orange covers.

“Uh, to prevent falling debris and dust, it was a safety hazard for tall buildings like these,” your dad answers.

“Huh,” you nod. “Makes sense. Always thought they were big presents. When I was a kid of course.”

Your dad peers back and snickers. “You sure about that one.”

You slide your eyes over to him and shoot him a pointed glare. “I'm sure.”

He shoots you a teasing smile and looks back ahead as you slowly continue cutting your way through. “Look at this place though,” he adds. “Talk about bad luck. Military drops bombs…not one of them hits the building you’re trying to demolish.”

“I think what’s even worse luck,” you add to his comment as you all come to a halt in front of more rubbal. “Wasting so much time on this and having it be bombed.” You scoff and look up in hopes there’s some kind of way up to get a better look, but, no, nothing.

“No way up,” your dad points out.

You sigh and turn away from the gap. “I guess we have shitty luck too. Long way it is.” You begin walking away from the pair, and spot a fenced up area you immediately head to in hopes there’s something there you can use.

The others follow, you can hear their approaching footsteps, and they’re easy to identify too; the heavier and faster paced ones are your dad, and the slower and softer ones are Ellie.

“Here,” you point out to the pair and pull the fence open to walk in. “Look,” you point to the weird metal tower thing as you quicken your pace to approach it. “We can climb up the edge, and…” you trail off and step back to look up. “….Maybe hop a bit to reach the top, but I think we can do it. Yeah?” You ask and look at your dad walking around the tower.

“Or,” he says and steps back to point at the floor above. “We use that ladder.”

You speed walk over to his side and follow his line of gaze to now spot that same ladder.

You scoff. “Yeah, or that.” You put your hands on your hips and share the idea that comes to mind. “We can get you up there, Ellie, you can drop that ladder down, maybe go through that way.”

“Mhm-hmm,” your dad agrees. “Come on, Kiddo, I’ll give you a boost.”

You turn around to look at Ellie, catching your dad mirror your actions. Albeit you come to notice that she isn’t facing either of you, instead she’s focused on some ancient piece of paper that was left behind. So out of concern for her lack of attention you let your dad approach her instead of you since she has known him the longest, and right now maybe she does need his comfort more.

“You okay?” He asks her.

Ellie looks back at him and responds. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“It’s just you kinda seem extra quiet today, so,” your dad says to her.

“Oh…I’m sorry.”

Oh precious Ellie.

“No, it’s fine,” your dad assures her. “Did you hear what we—”

“Yeah,” Ellie cuts him off. “Boost. Got it,” she nods, and now breaks away from her spot to follow your dad on some wooden pallets.

As to not get in the way you watch first as your dad helps Ellie climb to the floor above. After some struggle you see her get up as you now walk up on the wooden pallets, and wait for her to push the ladders down for your dad and you.

However, just as she’s about to hand them to your dad and you, she freezes for a bit and then interjects with what sounds to be, wonder. “Whoa!” Ellie then lets the ladder fall down, and so as to not be hit by the fucking metal ladder you have to jump back off the pallets.

“God damn it, Ellie!” Your dad exclaims as you flinch and press yourself against a pole.

“Shit,” you exhale between heavy breaths.

Your dad snaps his head to you and looks at you with a mix of concern and annoyance due to what just happened. “You okay?” He asks.

You push yourself away from the pole and nod. “Yeah,” you nod. “Missed.”

He looks up again, and you bend down to pick up the ladder.

“You stay there!” Your dad yells out at Ellie as he helps you get the ladder up on the wooden pallets.

Once it’s placed against the floor, and steady on the wood, he helps you back up so you can begin climbing up first.

“You guys gotta see this!” Ellie yells out with what you detect seems to be excitement. Which is good? This is a sketchy place so you’re not so sure if you want to get your hopes up.

That’s especially even more true to you when you finally get on the other floor and spot a very odd large shadow passing by from the outside.

“Ellie?!” You yell out as you hear her running footsteps up the stairs.

“Up here!” She exclaims as you only hear get further. Of course you and your dad follow her, and there was another fucking large shadow that Ellie is chasing.

“Ellie,” your dad calls out.

“C’mon,” she encourages and only ends up running ahead, leaving the both of you behind.

You take one last glance outside before picking up your pace and jogging after her up even more stairs that lead to what seems to be like the back of the building. She seems to stop just past the bare door frame, so you slow down as you follow her, and notice the greenery that now trickles around the hole on the wall. And just past it is Ellie standing in front of another hole that overlooks the vivid green field outside.

“Ellie,” you mutter with concern between pants.

However, once you walk past that gap on the wall and take in more of what lays past that hole Ellie stands in front of, you come to a sudden halt and feel a breath escape past your lips as you come face to face with what Ellie had been after, that “creepy” shadow that had been walking around the building; a giraffe. It’s a giraffe.

You smile at the sight of it, but still find a hard time believing if it’s real or not. Ellie is seeing it too, but you still can’t believe what’s in front of you. It’s just….so beautiful, so calm as it eats the greenery that drapes over the gap on the wall. It’s not afraid or cautious about either of you. It’s just there, living.

When your dad catches up, and you see him stop beside you from the corner of your eye, you have to ask for reassurance. “You’re seeing what I am right?”

He hums in agreement, and that’s all you need to finally break away from where you had frozen to slowly approach Ellie and the giraffe.

“Don’t scare it,” Ellie whispers to you softly.

You beam at the giraffe but assure her in a sweet voice. “I won’t.” You get closer to the edge and carefully pull off a thin green branch.

“What are you doing?” Ellie asks you.

You peer over at her and smile. “It’s all right. Come here, hurry. C’mon.” You wave her over with the leaves in your hand.

Ellie offers you a small smile. Finally after months she smiles at you as she takes the leaves you offer her to feed it to the giraffe. It’s a small moment, and you know this won’t just wash away all her pain, but it’s a sliver of hope, a hope you notice she lost at that resort, it’s a hope that you see rejuvenate her.

“Hey there,” Ellie greets the giraffe before she feeds it more leaves and giggles at the purity of it.

You grin brighter and glance over at your dad, who now stands nearby, and notice a happy smile on his face too as he watches Ellie smile, and hears her laugh. And that only makes your heart even more content.

“Come on now,” he encourages you as he meets your gaze. “Here,” he says and hands you more leaves.

You let out a nervous laugh and take a step closer to the giraffe to offer it what you hold.

At first it’s too busy eating what Ellie offers it so it pays no mind to you, not until Ellie’s done. After that it steps towards you and sticks out it’s long dark tongue to take what you have to offer it without hesitation, no fear; it actually manages to brush its tongue on your fingers, making you giggle at the very odd feeling.

The giraffe stays near you after, so you build up the courage and slowly reach over to pat the side of its face.

“What are you doing?” Ellie asks.

You drift your gaze to her and grin brighter. “It’s okay. It’s not scared.” It’s soft, and it’s jaw feels funny as it moves under your hand. You return to look at the giraffe and feel your smile soften for a moment before it falters as a memory resurfaces as you watch the beautiful creature.

"I decided what I want to have in Wyoming…a giraffe."

Tears fill your eyes, but they’re not out of sadness, not this time, not here as you pull your hand back from the giraffe and remember Sam and Henry. No, this time the tears are happy tears.

They would’ve loved seeing this, especially Sam. And Henry would’ve been happy seeing his brother happy. He would’ve been happy seeing you happy….

That’s it…isn’t it? All this time, all these months you’ve been devastated, but they wouldn’t have wanted that. Henry wouldn’t want you overthinking his death, he wouldn't want you sad.

This giraffe is that sign you’ve been looking for ever since you lost them, that’s it’s okay to move on and not blame yourself anymore. They’re gone and you’ll never see them again, but at least they don’t have to live in fear, or in pain, they’re okay. You won’t ever see them again, you have no picture or any part of them to remember them by, but you’ll never forget them, you’ll never forget Henry or the peace he brought you. You'll never forget that thanks to Henry you learned to love again.

You’ll have them with you forever. You know that now.

“Aw,” Ellie breaks you from your train of thought. “Where’s she going?” She wonders.

You focus back on what’s going on and see the giraffe walk off, and Ellie run after it from the inside, once again leaving your dad and you behind.

“Come on, come on, come on, come on!” She encourages your dad and you.

You sigh and shift around, but stop and gasp as you're surprised by your dads gaze on you.

“You okay?” He asks softly.

You sniffle and offer him a soft smile. “Yeah,” you assure him with sincerity. “I’m better.”

He offers you a gentle smile and nods in comprehension before he grabs his rifle off the ground and begins to walk after Ellie, whilst you face the field, the city, and the blue sky ahead to pull out the sun pin that you still kept in your pocket.

You brush your thumb over the sun and smile.

“You comin’?” Your dad queries from the other side.

You lift your head and nod. “Yeah,” you agree and turn away from the light to join him further in the dim room.

When you make it outside, Ellie is there, leaning over the cement patio wall, watching the giraffes wandering around on the green field. You join her at one side while your dad falls by her other.

“So…” your dad interjects. “Is it everything you hoped for?” He asks her.

You slide a backpack strap off your shoulder to pull the backpack in front of you and finally pin the sun pin on the material after holding it in your pocket for months.

“It’s got its ups and downs,” you hear Ellie say. “But you can’t deny that view.”

When you finish, you hook the backpack back on to then prop your elbows on the cement railing, and rest your chin on your hands to watch the view Ellie made you fond of.

“Look, I don’t know exactly where this hospital is—”

“Yeah, we’ll find it,” she cuts him off before he can finish.

“Sure, it’s just—” your dad says in a tone that makes you shift your gaze to him—“maybe there’s nothin’ bad out there, but so far there’s always been somethin’ bad out there.”

Ellie shrugs. “We’re still here though,” she counters.

“I know. I’m only saying there’s risk.”

Hasn’t there always been?

You narrow your gaze slightly as you continue to hear what he says to say.

“We don’t have to do this. I just—I want you to know that.”

You pick up your head, and slowly stand straight up whilst you let your hands rest on the railing.

“What do you mean?” Ellie asks what you were going to ask too. “What else are we supposed to do?”

“Nothin’. We just go back to Tommy’s. We forget about the whole damn thing.”

No matter how much you just want to go home with Ellie now and not meet those fireflies to not run that risk of losing her, you understand that it falls to her. It’s her choice, your dad might be worried for her, but he can’t make her change her mind.

“After all we’ve been through…” Ellie doesn’t take a moment to think of her answer, she just does. “Everything I’ve done…” she pauses now, letting you step back to be able to watch the both of them. “….it can’t be for nothing. I know you mean well. I know you wanna protect me. You have. And when we’re done, we’ll go wherever you want,” she says and looks between your dad and you now. “Tommy’s. Sheep ranch. The moon.” She smiles.

You mirror her gesture, while your dad lets out a soft chuckle.

“I’ll follow the both of you guys anywhere you go,” she continues to add, and offers you a smile.

You shoot her a small grin in return.

“But there’s no halfway with this,” she continues. “We finish what we started.”

Your dad stays quiet, he hesitates for a brief moment before he nods in agreement. Ellie then nods back, and you interject. “It’s your choice, Ellie, I’ll support it no matter what. You say we go, we go. If we stay, we stay and see it through.”

Ellie meets your gaze and offers you a small smile. “Thank you,” she says softly.

“Of course.”

She turns to face the scenery for a moment before she turns away to walk to the exit door. You follow her and don’t realize your dad has lingered back until you’re at the door.

Hopefully, he understands that it’s her choice and her choice alone. He can’t defy her with something she deems so significant, he’d only hurt her if he does. He needs to understand that. Let's hope he does when it comes down to it.

Nevertheless, the silence follows and the serenity lingers every step of the way back down to the ground. Yet honestly, the calmness of Salt Lake City is concerning.

There isn’t infected? Other groups of people? Yes you’ve only traveled a small fraction of the city, but there should be something out there.

“Was this a FEDRA thing?” Ellie asks as you come across an old abandoned medical camp.

“No. Army.” Your dad answers her, whilst you fall behind to spin around to look around as you continue to walk after them.

“They put these places up all around the first few days after the outbreak,” you hear your dad continue to explain. “Emergency medical camps. Obviously didn’t last.”

You were young then but you do remember coming to one of these. Unlike other people who’ve forgotten their childhood, you still remember yours.

“They had me in one just like this.”

“With Sarah and y/n?” Ellie asks, making you turn back around out of curiosity.

“No,” your dad shakes his head. “Sarah was gone already.”

“Oh.”

You sigh and hold onto your backpack straps as you now continue to look around.

“So what was wrong with you?” Ellie probes.

“It’s for this,” your dad says, and as you look over at him again you see him point to the scar on his head; one you remember seeing on him suddenly one day.

“Ah, the guy who shot and missed,” Ellie adds. “I figured that would’ve happened later.”

“No. Second day.”

You blink and focus on him whilst he comes to a slow stop.

“Well,” Ellie continues. “I’ve gotta hand it to the Army people. They were way better at stitching you up than I was.”

You stop too when you realize it wasn’t just a quick break, and shift your stance to look at him.

“It was me,” your dad adds, causing you to slowly loosen your hold around your backpack straps and blink in disbelief to what you heard.

“I was the guy who shot and missed,” he says and pulls the rifle off his shoulder to sit down on one of the cement roadblocks. Ellie takes a seat by him, but you linger where you stand as you unravel the dark meaning behind his words.

“There’s no story,” he continues softer. “Sarah died, and I couldn’t see the point anymore...”

Your breath hitches softly whilst your eyes begin to water now. As your heart, well that immediately sinks to your stomach.

But you need to hear him out before your emotions get the best of you as your mind races with doubt and guilt.

“I failed to keep her safe…”

Keep listening. Keep listening…

“So how could I keep y/n safe if I had failed her sister.” He says and slowly looks over at you. “I didn’t want to be the cause of her death too, simple as that.”

You let out a slow exhale but feel as if your heart stayed sunken now that you know he wanted to…kill himself out of tremendous guilt for losing Sarah, insecurity over not feeling strong enough to keep you safe, and grief for Sarah. You were being stupid just seconds ago with the poisonous feelings that began to resurface, those of not being enough for him.

It’s stupid. You were insecure. Stupid.

“And I wasn’t scared either. I was ready,” your dad continues to say. Now you break away from your spot and sit at his other side.

“I couldn’t have been more ready. When I—” he pauses and briefly drops head, before looking up again to continue. “When I…went to pull the trigger, I-I flinched.” He huffs out softly. “Still don't know why.” He looks over at you, so you gently caress his arm to comfort him.

“Anyway,” he goes on. “The reason I’m telling you all this—”

“I know why you’re tellin’ me all this,” Ellie cuts him off.

“Yeah,” he nods. “I reckon you do.”

It’s his way of comforting her, which is good, it’s sweet. As awkward as you feel their interaction to be.

“So time heals all wounds, I guess,” Ellie breaks the short silence that had built.

“It wasn’t time that did it,” he lets her know and meets her gaze, whilst he lifts his arm you’re holding so he can instead grab your hand.

More silence follows as he holds Ellie’s softened yet timid gaze. She nods very softly in what you understand to be comprehension, so he then looks over at you to meet your gaze so you’d know he was also referring to you.

You offer him a soft smile as your gaze gleams with tears, and then rest your head on his shoulder. As Ellie remains quiet he then looks over at her again.

“Well, I’m glad that…that didn’t work out,” you hear her interject in a quivering tone.

Your dad nods. “Me too.” He proceeds to sniffle and drops his head to wipe his eyes—or really the tears he couldn’t hold back.

It’s still quite odd seeing him cry since he wasn’t one to show it before. Not until Sarah died. He’s always tried to be strong in front of his girls. You admire that, truly from the bottom of your heart, but seeing him not hold back now is also quite refreshing, it’s okay. You let him know that with a gentle squeeze of his hand, whilst you also notice Ellie sitting there awkwardly just watching him.

It’s quite funny though that they’re both like that.

“We should…probably loot the place for supplies,” Ellie cuts off the silence. “We wouldn’t want to desperately search for some…again.”

“Yep.” Your dad agrees.

You smile down at the interaction, and then get up after Ellie to break off to a tent behind her.

Since there isn’t much left in the tents your search should be quick, but you use this time to finally share your own words of comfort.

“It gets better,” you say without referring to what exactly because she knows. “With time the pain…it becomes less, until it fades away when you least expect it.”

Ellie stops rummaging and quietly interjects. “Does it?”

You nod. “It does. Right now it seems like you’ll never forget. And you won’t…that’s the worst thing, but as time passes it becomes only a distant memory.” You find bandages in a drawer and twist your body around to shove it in your backpack. “It’ll feel like you can never be yourself, like…” you pause. “Like you’ll never recover what was lost.” You sigh and turn around completely to walk over to a stack of boxes beside the drawers she was searching in.

“But you do, you are.” You smile faintly. “Slowly, in your own way, you’ll find the light in the void. And my dad and I will be here every step of the way. I’ll be here for you.”

Ellie closes the drawer, and you hear her sigh before she breaks her silence. “Thank you.” She sighs shakily and gently hits her knuckles against the cabinet. “I appreciate it. You make it…easier,” she whispers and then glances over at you.

You meet her gaze and offer her a soft smile that she mirrors. She doesn’t add anything on the matter after that, nor do you, so instead you walk over to the drawers on the desk that’s in the tent.

“By the way,” you interject in a much uplifted tone. “I like that scar on your eyebrow. It’s very cool.”

Ellie scoffs, and you can practically hear her smirk. “Thanks,” she redirects.

You yank the top drawer open, and come to find a small bottle of vodka rolling to the front. “Cool!” You muse and pull it out.

“What?” Ellie queries and falls beside you rather quickly.

“Vodka,” you point at the words fading on the label. “Not my favorite, but it hits the spot.”

“Can I try it?” Ellie asks and reaches for the bottle in your hand. Albeit you quickly smack her hand away.

“Ow!” She complains and pulls her hand back to rub it as if it truly hurt. “What was that for?”

You meet her gaze and shake your head. “You can’t drink, you’re not old enough.”

Ellie furrows her eyebrows and snaps back. “I’ve drank before. You saw me.”

You also choose to put the bottle in your pack, and then turn to begin heading out. “So what?” You shrug. “That was then, and now I’m tellin’ you that you’re too young. Plus, you’ll just ruin your liver, you’re too young for that. Try next year.”

“I thought you were supposed to be cool,” she retorts sassily while she follows you out of the tent.

You smirk. “I am cool.” You correct her and pick up your pace as you spot your dad waiting for the both of you where you had been before.

“You know what I’m in the mood for?” Your dad interjects now that you continue to try and find the hospital.

“What?” Ellie asks before you could.

“Shitty puns,” he says.

Ellie’s lips pull to an immediate smile. “Oh-ho-ho.” She muses and slides a strap of her backpack off to take out her own pun book, and quickly flip to a page. “People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.”

Your dad smacks his lips, and you squint your gaze.

“Too soon?” Ellie questions.

“No,” he shakes his head. “It’s topical.”

Ellie laughs and then focuses back on the page. “Oh, I love this one. Moon rocks taste better than earth rocks. Why?” She asks and bounces her gaze between your dad and you.

“Why?” You press with a half smile.

“‘Cause they’re meteor,” Ellie gives the answer to a pun you knew, but let her tell regardless.

“Oh, that’s terrible,” your dad says, whilst you giggle.

“Fuck you,” Ellie counters. “That was actually good.”

“It was, I like it,” you back her up.

“That-that’s a zero outta 10,” your dad adds, making you roll your eyes in a lighthearted way.

“All right. All right,” Ellie says, and then continues on to read another pun. “What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, you idiot.”

You snort and nod. “That was a 3 outta 10. What do you say?” You ask and look at your dad, noticing his smile.

“Yeah,” he nods. “I think you’re right.”

“Seven minimum,” Ellie tries to plead her case. “I mean,” she points at you. “You snorted.”

“I’ll give it a five,” your dad assures her. “Five outta 10.”

“That’s good,” You nod. “That’s the best it gets.”

“Five?” Ellie repeats.

“Yes,” you agree. “Five—” you cut yourself off immediately the moment you hear something small fall on the ground behind you. Ellie and your dad hear it too, so when you look to the ground your smile falls and your eyes widen as you notice that it's a bomb.

It’s so sudden and out of nowhere that you can’t help but freeze out of disbelief. Luckily your dad throws his arms around Ellie and you and throws all of you to the ground as the bomb goes off and releases a thick cloud of white smoke.

However, it’s that same simple bomb of smoke that causes your ears to ring, and your vision to blur as your mind begins to spin and hurt.

Was it the fireflies, or another group?

“Y/N?” You can identify the muffled voice of Ellie, it sounds distant. “Joel?”

You slowly pick up your head off the ground and catch a glimpse of her right by you actually, she’s not far.

“Ellie,” you croak, and then cough out as the smoke burns your throat and clouds your lungs. You lift your hand up weakly, but try to reach over for her regardless.

Ellie notices your hand and begins to reach for you too, but before you can touch she's suddenly being picked off the ground.

“Joel?! Y/N?!” Ellie cries out as she’s now out of view.

“Ellie,” you can barely hear your dad call out.

“Joel!” Ellie’s cries gets louder and full of panic. You try to look back at her, but as you do you see some man in a vest over you.

“Wait,” you try to plead, and lift your hand to stop whatever he wants to do, but he doesn’t hesitate and lifts his rifle over your head before he brings it down, and brings darkness.

——

*SOMETIME LATER*

Pain is the first thing that you feel, it’s throbbing and radiates all around your head, but, there is one spot to the side that the pain is sharp and hurts the worst.

There’s a chiller breeze you feel, making goosebumps grow on your skin. As your eyes slowly flutter open, a bright light from above blinds you, causing you to lift your hand to shield your eyes.

However, it’s at that moment as your eyes grow accustomed to the light above, as your daze fades away that you notice rundown bare white walls surrounding you. You’re on a small couch, and there’s no one with you. Not your dad, or Ellie.

“What the hell?” You grumble now and sit up quickly as you’re now riddled with fear.

Where is it that you are exactly? It’s an office you’re in, you notice the desk, the window on the wall, and the bookshelf, but where is this office? Where’s your dad and Ellie? It’s too quiet

“Don’t worry,” a voice startles you. “You’re safe.”

You snap your attention to the front of the room where the voice comes from, and gasp the moment you recognize the women standing against the door.

That’s right you were ambushed. But she wasn’t there.

“It’s nice to see you again,” she says.

You scoff and shake your head. “Marlene,” you greet coldly.

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