JUST DO IT!!!
(Loki, Y/N, Mobius and a prisoner in a car, heading towards TVA.)
Loki at the front seat, arguing: It’s clearly this way, you dumb mortal.
Y/N at the driver seat: No its this way you asshole.
Loki: Why are you such a stubborn bitch?
Y/N: why are you such a royal satanic piece of shit? And if you think logically then it’s clearly this way.
Loki: Oh dear WHY DID I AGREE TO BRING YOU WITH US?!!!
Y/N: If you DON’T SHUT UP THEN I WILL KICK YOUR ASS STRAIGHT TO YOUR VALHALLA AND THEN YOU CAN WALK FROM THERE TO YOUR RESPECTED GODDAMN “CORRECT WAYS”.
Loki: Oh come on, you don’t even have the nerve to do it.
Y/N: TRY ME YOU SHAKESPEAREAN BITCH!!!!
Meanwhile Mobius at the backseat with the prisoner, clearly irritated: CHILDREN CHILDREN CHILDRREEENN.... this conversation was amusing at first but now it’s making it’s way to my nerves and we have a long drive away since we are passing through the same route for the 22nd time.....so why don’t you two cut the bullshit and get to the part where you admit your deep feelings to get rid off the sexual tension.
Loki: WOAH WOAH WOAHHHH!!!
Y/N: WOAH BUDDY YOU’RE GETTING WAY OFF BASE!!!!
Mobius: Oh am I? *talking to Y/N* I know he is a Shakespearean Bitch like u said and annoying and a crybaby and probably reminds you of a bad relationship and I know that you are one of the most deadliest agents of TVA but gosh deep down even you wanna settle down in a calm quiet place with children and a dog, and also especially with a lovable husband, to spend the rest of your life with him beside you. And JUST ADMIT IT THAT YOU REALLY WANNA HAVE THAT DREAM WITH THE MAN SITTING BESIDE YOU AND ARE CURIOUS ABOUT HOW HE IS BEHIND THE SHEETS.*talking to Loki* AND YOU! HA! You’re just a big man baby who’d rather act tough than show your feelings because you think nobody would like you and abandon you like your family did and the last time you opened your heart you got hurt. Owie! *to both of them* so now you are trying to fight each other and trying to show that you hate each other but deep down you LITERALLY LOVE EACH OTHER TO DEATH just like in the ridiculoudly cheesy romantic movies or let’s say trying to perform a horse mating ritual just like Loki did in the Norse mythology-
Loki: I did no such thing-
Mobius: OH SPARE ME SPARE ME SPARE ME so why don’t you two just cut the crap and stop with this incessant bickering or pullover and JUST RIP OFF YOUR CLOTHES FROM EACH OTHER AND GET OVER IT ALREADY FOR MY SAKE!!!!
Mobius leaning back and relaxing at the seat after his inspiring speech: ..........
*After a few seconds of silence*
Prisoner: They never had sex?....
Prisoner: Really? Are you sure?....
Mobius: Of course. Positive.
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