Home Bar Galley in Seattle
Inspiration for a large contemporary galley medium tone wood floor and brown floor wet bar remodel with an undermount sink, recessed-panel cabinets, dark wood cabinets, granite countertops, gray backsplash and porcelain backsplash
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I am a guy. I was not trained how to dress myself growing up. My dad--bless his incompetent small-town soul--still can’t dress himself, so it’s not like any of that was being modelled for me. And I was homeschooled, so I didn’t have friends to emulate. Everything I learned about clothing I learned from watching television, and every choice I made was made fun of. But luckily, there’s a lot of media around about how to dress yourself, and clothing can be cheap if you’re willing to go looking. (and if you get 50% off at the thrift store you work at).
I was also not trained in home decorating.
Like, I see a lot of posts about how single men’s homes look, on average, like shit. And yeah. They do. Nobody could really argue that they don’t.
But what you learn with clothing is also applies to home decorating it is a language. There are regional dialects. There’s slang. There’s high and low formality. And learning that language takes time and effort, especially if you don’t have a teacher. Average men's fashion, like, off the rack mall stuff, is extremely homogenous, mainly because men don’t actually speak the language. They see something that looks good on someone else and they copy it. They know clothing phonetically. Not comprehensively.
But men's clothing literacy staggeringly outstrips the understanding most men have of home decorating. The term “Bachelor Pad” describes, for most men, their home during the only length of time where they live in a space which is not decorated primarily by their mother or partner. So it looks like garbage. (It is often also filled with actual garbage, but one issue at a time).
And like...it’s very easy to not be too sad about this. To frame this difference in literacy as further labour women must do for men.
I married someone with a literal fine arts degree, who could run circles around me on every component of composition, colour theory, ect. But she...cared what I thought. She asked me what colours I wanted in our house. She asked me what sort of spaces make me feel good. And when I didn’t know what words to use, she flipped her laptop around with pinterest and asked me to point. And then we found common ground, which ended up being dark academia.
I have never had a partner care enough to do this. Ever. My afab partners have always assumed that I had nothing to offer in terms of decorating the house. My wife told me that a vintage armchair I’d been hanging onto for years finally, finally made sense to her, because it looks terrible in an empty white room but it looks amazing by a fireplace. I’d bought it for 15 dollars. My taste wasn’t bad. I just had no concept of how to express it.
So rather than make the house her house and treat my input with disdain, she used her greater understanding of the language to glean what I liked, and then we built that together. Our house looks absolutely amazing, and I love it, and as a result of having that connection to it, I actually do a lot more housework and decorating projects. I watch tiktoks about Feng Shui and how to organize a space, I find cool old furniture at work and bring it home, i put up shelves for our cat to play on... because the result makes me feel like we have a lovely home. Our lovely home.
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A fireplace set into a fanciful arabesque-sculptured chimney breast is an eye-catching focal point. Jefferson B. Riley of Centerbrook, architect. Photograph: Norman McGrath.
Inside Today’s Home, 1986
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YOOO I got moved into my new place (minus unpacking) but if anyone has ideas for like a masculine woodland/enchanted forest-y room that doesn't look like a small childs nursery I'd love ideas! I have blue sheets and will be getting a brown comforter and green throw blanket. Color scheme is white black brown and muted blues/greens and maybe a muted yellow. I already have some woodland type stuffed animals (bear, fox, raccoon, etc) :) I'd love some ideas if anyone can think of anything :)
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