#master padawan relationship tw

[grievedeeply]

I saw you want requests after playing Survivor

👁👄👁

One shot of Cal running across fem reader that he knew when he was a padiwan (assumed dead)? And realizing why he was always so flustered and agitated by her 🤭🤭

this is so cute i loooove these reunion prompts i'm getting!!

fem!reader (no pronouns used) | tws/tags: death, sorta in depth order 66, use of y/n

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they never left — cal kestis

you remembered the day clear in your mind as though it had happened yesterday. the purge. the clones tore through your master as though they were never even there. their last words to you ring true in your mind even ten years later, "run," and you did. you ran, using the force to reach into places they couldn't. you snuck past those who used to be your friends. you thought they cared for you. why had they all had a sudden change of heart? whatever the reason was, you knew you couldn't dwell. it wouldn't do you any good to be miserable.. even if that's all you wanted to do, sometimes.

over the years, you hid your abilities and tucked away your lightsaber for good. you swore to never use the force ever again. your family was gone. the order was gone, your master was gone.. and you couldn't reach out into the force to attempt to sense anyone. it was too risky.

cal. was he gone, too? he was another padawan under the tutelage of jedi master jaro tapal, a kind but intimidating lasat who you had met a few times. but cal.. cal was warm. he was inviting, he was friendly. he was everything an introverted child like yourself needed in a friend. the two of you quickly became rule breakers, sneaking out past curfews and past the temple guards who— looking back on it now— definitely saw you. you snuck out so often to spend time together, knowing that the likelihood of being assigned together on a mission was slim to none, it was the next best thing. maybe even better. at least there wasn't a risk of death, now.

you managed to get on each others nerves often, too. disagreeing and arguing and avoiding each other until you both forgot what happened. though, as you grew older, cal found himself getting more and more.. flustered.. when you were around. his face was constantly red, his palms were sweaty, his chest so tight it practically hurt to breath, and it irritated him. you irritated him. was it your fault? he didn't know. it only happened around you, so it had to be your fault, so he tried to avoid you.

it wasn't as though he treated you poorly. he could never do that. his heart and soul were too kind, too gentle. he didn't have a mean bone in his body.. but he wished you would just go away sometimes, to get that sinking feeling in his stomach to fade as it always did when you left.

now, cal knows what that feeling was. it was the beginnings of a crush. attachment and relationships were forbidden in the order. attachment made you selfish. it lead to jealousy, anger and resentment. a path to the dark side of the force. but now.. the jedi order was no more. it was destroyed years ago, but you hadn't lived to see it.

he heard your name. whispered in hushed voices by people on every planet he visited. your name, and the names of plenty of other jedi. plo koon, aayla secura.. anakin skywalker. but he focused on solely on you. you were killed alongside your master during the purge. you died, and he wasn't there to protect you. he reached into the force over and over, desperately trying to find a trace of you throughout it as time went on, but he found nothing. your death was confirmed, and there was nothing he could do about it.

you were glad word of your death spread fast. it was much easier to hide, and you had to move less often. your life proved more relaxed.. or as relaxed as it could be. despite your supposed death, your world would never be safe as long as you were force sensitive.

this time, kohbo was the world of choice. it was a nice, relatively backwater world in the outer rim. imperial presence, but as long as you kept your head down, you would fit in well. people from all sorts of backgrounds flocked to it. it wasn't like you would be out of place, and that fact was a relief. you'd stick to yourself as you always did, and everything would be well.

you stood, back pressed against the cold stone of the wall as you stared up towards the landing platform. a ship, a S-161 'stinger' XL, sat on the dock. you'd heard that it'd crashed out in the gorge a little ways away from rambler's reach. whoever piloted it knew greez in some way or another, and he'd managed to fix it, along with someone else you didn't know the name of. you didn't much care for their name, anyway. keeping your head down, staying out of trouble, that was the main goal.

until turgle fell off of the platform, screaming as he hurtled towards the ground. before you could even think, you reached out your hand and looked deep into the force, watching as he floated to the ground. his eyes were still closed and he yelped as you caught him, but other than that, he looked confused until his eyes landed on you, your hand extended out in his direction. he might be clumsy, but he wasn't exactly stupid.

you cringed, awkwardly sinking in on yourself as you turned around, ready to go back to your ship and leave koboh and everyone else on this planet behind.. until you heard turgle's voice call out your name.

"you," you heard him come up behind you, out of breath and looking red in the face, "you saved me!" he exclaimed, "with your.. your force magic." he said, eyes wide in disbelief. he stared you down, and you pursed your lips as you stared right back at him. "you're a jedi, aren't you?" he spoke up again, and all you could do was roll your eyes. "ha, of course not. you're just seeing things." you insisted to him with a simple shrug of your shoulders, turning on your heel to leave once again. by now, greez was hot on turgle's tail, his expression wide eyed and excited.

"oh, come on! i saw you," he retorted, "you saved me from imminent death.. and i am in your debt." he told you with a nod of his head, and you sighed. "you don't owe me anything, okay? just keep this quiet and we're even." you responded, and he nodded once again, eagerly. he stood there for a few moments until you raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to leave. finally taking the hint, he skipped away from you and into the cantina.

you let out a groan. turgle could barely be trusted. he would blabber about you eventually, and you didn't want to be around when he did. this place wasn't safe anymore. once more, you turned to leave, but heard the sound of greez clearing his throat. you weren't out of the woods, yet.

you shut your eyes, but glanced over your shoulder at him. his arms were crossed over his chest, but he wore a smile.

"there's someone i think you should meet, kid."

you furrowed your brow. you couldn't exactly say no, could you?

greez led you into the cantina through the back entrance, clambering up the steps through heavy breaths. who could he possibly want you to meet? a million questions ran through your mind as you came out into the main area of the cantina, and he gestured for you to take a seat next to him at the bar. you did so after a moment's hesitation, and you sat there, hunched over in your seat, feeling completely exposed. still, no one looked at you any differently as they did before.

"what am i doing here?" you asked, letting your elbow rest uncomfortably against the bar. greez spared you a glance, but kept at his drink. "someone i want you to meet, s'all." he reassured you, finally turning his chair to face you. you blinked a few times. his words did nothing to reassure you, for all you knew, he could be turning you in to the raiders or even the empire. you sighed, but decided to keep your mouth shut.

you watched the door as people entered and exited, waving goodbye to moran as he left for the night. over the few months you'd been staying on koboh, he was the only one you spoke to regularly. he came off as prickly, but the truth was, he was a sad, lonely man who needed a friend. even if making connections, getting attached, wad a bad idea.. moran was there for you when you needed someone, even if he didn't know it. he returned your wave with a smile, and the door slid shut behind him.

"it's been hours, who am i waiting for?" you spoke up again for the first time since you'd arrived. "any minute now," he reassured you, a knowing grin spread across his lips. what was he even talking abou-

the door slid open.. red hair. you froze in your seat, your hands suddenly felt sweaty and your heart fell into your stomach. the boy you once knew was now a man, but you would recognize his face anywhere. cal. he was alive. you practically jumped out of your seat and rushed into him without thinking, arms wrapped around his midsection in a tight hug. "cal.." you muttered his name under your breath, finally finding your voice as you pulled away to get a better look at him.

he had matured, grown into his features. he carried a newly fashioned saber on his belt, and on his shoulders was a cute BD unit. his cheeks were covered in freckles, his eyes still that same beautiful green, splattered with specks of blue.

"i thought.. i thought you were-" cal said, his voice barely a whisper. "i'm sorry," you told him, "i.. wish i knew you were alive." you continued after a pause, still taking in his new look. he looked.. handsome.

"i tried to find you," he swallowed, "through the force."

that feeling was back. the feeling from ten years ago. his palms were sweaty, and his heart pounded against his ribcage. a crush that never faded, that only grew once he saw how you'd grown. you were incredible then.. but now? you were stunning. his breath hitched in his throat, but he lifted his hand to your face. "i.. i'm so glad you're okay." he whispered to you, and you nodded, a small smile on your lips.

"okay, kids. break it up. you can.. make out later, or whatever." greez cut into the moment, his grating voice ringing unpleasantly in cal's ears. he chuckled awkwardly under his breath but took a few steps away from you. still, his eyes never left your face.

"we aren't.. we weren't-" you said, cheeks flushed in embarrassment at his suggestion. "uhuh.. whatever." he responded, eyes flickering back and forth between the two of you, and you felt as though he saw right through you. for a man as strange as he was, he read people incredibly well. "figured you'd get along. glad i was right." he continued before you had the chance to dig yourself further into the hole in your mind you were forming.

"i'll leave you two alone," he laughed, glancing knowingly between you and cal, a smirk on his face. still, he stayed true to his word and climbed out of his chair, walking out of the front entrance with a skip in his step.

you watched as he left, only turning back to cal once the door closed behind him. your mouth felt dry, and you licked your lips. "you.. um, you have a new lightsaber?" you asked, glancing down at the weapon hanging from his hip. he nodded, "my.. my first one, i lost it during the purge." you didn't reply to his words verbally, but sat your hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"and who's this?" you asked, a smile on your features as you glanced at the BD unit. "oh," cal said, matching your expression even though it seemed as though he forgot the droid was there at all. "this is BD-1," he told you, and you directed your grin at him, "you've been taking care of cal while i've been gone?" you teased, but the droid replied in completely serious beeps, much to his dismay.

"how long have you been here?" cal asked you after a pause, and you glanced around at your surroundings. the cantina needed some work.. and a deep cleaning. you turned your attention back to him, but a sigh fell from your lips. "a couple of months now." his gaze was soft as he stared into your eyes, and he took your hands into his own, grounding himself into this moment. "i heard you were dead, y/n." he muttered. "i.. i know." you spoke, your heart aching at the thought of him mourning for you. "the force.. i couldn't.. i couldn't feel you." he told you, and you said nothing in response, averting your gaze to his hands in your own.

this.. this moment reminded you of your childhood, running around the gardens of the temple with your hands entwined, completely ignoring your assigned training to play for awhile. except now, cal's hands were rough, and so were yours.

"i cut myself off from the force." you explained to him, "i had to hide. i've been hiding.. up until today." you could hear his breathing through the silence of the empty cantina, and he didn't say anything else. instead, he dropped your hands and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

"i love you." cal whispered into your neck, and you swore your breathing stopped. "what?" your arms fell to your sides, but he didn't pull away. "i love you." he repeated himself, pulling away to look into your eyes. his face was red, but the expression he wore was serious. "how could you.. how could you say that?" you asked, brows furrowed. his hands gripped your shoulders, and he let out a breathless chuckle.

"i've known it for years. when we were kids.. i had the biggest crush on you, and it bothered me. it bothered me how flustered i'd get around you even when you did.. absolutely nothing but smile." he explained, a growing smile forming across his face. "and irritated me. so i stayed away from you, thinking you were the one who bothered me all along." he said.

"but now the order doesn't exist anymore. the code is gone. but my.. my feelings for you- they never left." cal's voice fell to a whisper, "and seeing you now, it just makes me realize it all.. all over again." he took in a deep breath, but kept his eyes trained on your face. "so.."

"cal," you shut your eyes, shaking your head, "you actually felt that way that entire time when i thought you just started hating me for no reason?" you sighed, his lack of response telling you everything you needed to know.

you took a step closer to him, pressing your lips to his for a few seconds before pulling away. to cal, it wasn't nearly long enough. he leaned after your lips, eyes already completely closed as he'd relaxed into your touch. "i love you too. i always have." you told him, the feeling of his lips burned into your memory. they were chapped and dry.. but they fit against yours perfectly.

"really?"

"really."

he grinned, and kissed you again.

tags: @starwalkerwriting @war-in-time

#star wars #star wars x reader #star wars x reader headcanons #star wars x y/n #star wars x reader imagines #star wars x you #reader x cal kestis #cal kestis #cal kestis x y/n #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis x you

[iamthemain-character]

We Might Just Get Away With This 

Hidden feelings do nothing but build tension, and when Y/n is almost lost, Obi-wan finds that his passion can no longer be contained.

obi-wan kenobi x jedi! reader 

she/her pronouns 

TW: mentions of violence, choking, secret relationship, anxious feelings, the tiniest bit of angst, it gets a little spicy but there’s no smut. 

A/N: This is set between AOTC and ROTS. Also! I watched the first two episodes of Kenobi and I am simping respectfully

star wars masterlist

Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments, but after a particularly tense encounter, two jedi aren’t sure they can continue to uphold the code. 

———————————————————————

It was stupid, and quite possibly the worst thing that Y/n ever could’ve done. 

She was a jedi, and so was he; Jedi don’t fall in love. 

Nevertheless, here she was, tossing and turning in her bed over the man who had singlehandedly claimed her heart. It wasn’t a recent development, Y/n had been growing attached to Obi-wan since they were padawans, but for a long time she had denied her feelings over and over again. Recently, however, it had been becoming more and more difficult. 

It was entirely Y/n’s fault really; Obi-wan was not a flirtatious man, and he was respectful almost to a fault. But whenever he was close, or he made contact with Y/n, or even when he just looked at her, it made her heart race. It wasn’t like Y/n could avoid him (though she wouldn’t really want to) because the Jedi assigned the two of them on every single mission together. Even when they were at the temple, Obi-wan and Y/n meditated together, trained together, sat next to the other on the council, and even ate together. To the entire world, the two were the best of friends, but every moment Y/n felt herself falling deeper and deeper into love with Obi-wan. 

It was fruitless and futile; Kenobi was practically the poster child of the Jedi having adopted next to none of his late master’s rebellious ways. He was a perfect jedi, acting in accordance with the code and doing his best to help his unruly padawan and friend do the same. Sometimes Y/n found herself envying Anakin and Padme, who despite being very prominent people, were happily married and carrying on their secret relationship. Y/n’s lips were sealed, but sometimes she wanted to say to Obi-wan, “If they can do it, why can’t we?” But Obi-wan was the Sun and Anakin was the moon, and there was no way the former would ever do something so completely out of line and crazy.

Despite her ever growing affections, Y/n had managed to keep them relatively under control; until today. Obi-wan and Y/n had been assigned to go to a Republic planet and investigate rumors of Sith terrorizing the locals. Everything seemed routine and nothing out of order, and there appeared to be no signs of actual Sith. Just as the pair were returning to their ship, however, they were ambushed. 

Blaster fire hit the door as Y/n reached for the panel, and immediately she turned in sync with Obi-wan as they ignited their lightsabers. Blocking the blasts, Y/n took to the right side of the group, throwing the main firer against a nearby tree. After taking care of the first couple of attackers, the rest of the group ran off, clearly seeing that attacking a jedi was not as easy as they had thought. Y/n was about to see if Obi-wan needed help, when suddenly a harsh strike to her wrist made Y/n drop her lightsaber. Turning quickly, Y/n didn’t have time to react as a large hand grabbed her neck and squeezed. Y/n gasped, the pressuring crushing her windpipe and making it hard to breathe; terrified and not thinking clearly, her hands clawed at her attacker, desperate to breathe again. 

A gasp escaped the attacker as a lightsaber blade went through his sternum, the blue light reflecting on his contorted face. With a push, Y/n ripped his hands from off her neck, gasping to fill her lungs with air as she watched him fall to the ground. Looking to her savior,  Y/n saw Obi-wan; his blue eyes were dark, and there was an indiscernible look that Y/n had never seen in her friend before. 

“Are you alright?” Obi-wan’s voice was low as he stepped close to Y/n, and if she hadn’t been so close to dying she might’ve swooned. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Swallowing hard, Y/n froze as Obi-wan’s hands reached out to her. His fingers softly moved along her neck, gently brushing over where bruises would surely eventually form. He was so close that Y/n could see every detail;  his forehead was furrowed in concentration, and there was a faint scar above his eyebrow, evidence from a previous battle. Y/n was sure Obi-wan could hear her heart beating loudly inside her chest; despite the pain in her throat, she found herself longing to succumb to Obi-wan’s touch. The energy between their two bodies was like lightning, and the tension was palpable in the air. 

Then suddenly, Obi-wan dropped his hands and turned around, walking into the ship. Y/n’s chest rose and fell, a rollercoaster of emotions rushing over her. Trying to clear her mind, Y/n retrieved her lightsaber and followed after Obi-wan. The two said nothing during the entire journey back, and Obi-wan had refused to look at Y/n during their debriefing. He had proceeded to make himself scarce for the rest of the day, and now Y/n found herself pining over Obi-wan as she sat alone in the darkened glow of her nighttime lamp. 

A soft knock on the door interrupted Y/n’s racing train of thoughts, and it was so quiet that she thought she had imagined it. Yet there it was again, so very gentle but still there. Getting up, Y/n opened the door, only for it to reveal a very disheveled Obi-wan. His hair was out of place, and he was dressed in loose black pants and a v-neck shirt. Somehow Obi-wan managed to look as gorgeous as ever, but Y/n tried to remain focused on why he was at her room in the middle of the night. Y/n stepped to the side to allow Obi-wan to enter the room. He cautiously entered, walking straight back until he reached the window. Y/n shut the door behind him, and again the tension from earlier returned. Y/n remained quiet, waiting for her late-night visitor to say something. 

Obi-wan turned, and once again Y/n saw that dark look in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, only to close it again. Taking a deep breath in, Obi-wan was about to say something, only for him to was again remain silent. Looking at the ground, he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“How are you feeling?” 

That was it, the most basic question in the galaxy. Deciding to also ignore whatever the heck was going on, Y/n went with the casual conversation. “A little sore, but I’m alive so I can’t complain.” Nervously she laughed, trying to lighten the conversation. 

Obi-wan nodded, but is was obvious his mind wasn’t really there. 

“Is everything al-” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Y/n was taken aback by the abrupt apology. “Excuse me?”

Anxiously Obi-wan ran a hand through his hair. “I should’ve been there, I should have been more prepared, none of this should’ve happened.” 

“Hey hey hey, stop that.” Y/n walked closer to the distressed man and placed her hands on his shoulders, rubbing them as she tried to sooth him. “There was nothing more you could’ve done, it was a surprise for both of us. What matters is we made it out okay.” 

“But you’re not okay, your neck-” 

“Like I said, I’m still alive; and in this line of work, that's more than I can ask for. You saved me, and I thank you for that.” 

“He touched you.” 

Y/n shook her head, trying to understand. “What?”

Obi-wan stepped forward, his body so close that Y/n could feel the heat radiating off of it. “No one is allowed to touch you.”

Obi-wan felt like he was loosing it, barely able to concentrate when Y/n was so close. He internally struggled, trying hard to keep his gaze on her eyes when her top’s strap was falling off her shoulder and the neckline followed the curve of her breasts. Obi-wan knew he had no right, but everything about Y/n drove him crazy. She was never not the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, and every day he had slowly fallen more and more in love with her. Obi-wan had felt absolutely feral when he saw that man’s hands around Y/n’s neck, almost taking away the most precious thing to Obi-wan. It was wrong, oh it was so wrong, but after today Obi-wan didn’t care. 

“Do you know how much I have suffered because of you?” 

Y/n blinked rapidly, trying to understand what Obi-wan was saying. “I have never meant to caused you pain, Obi-wan. You are my dearest friend and-” 

“Don’t say that.” Obi-wan’s chest rose and fell rapidly, and he looked positively heartbroken. “It has never been your fault, it’s me, I have behaved atrociously, oh maker.” Running a hand over his face, Obi-wan desperately tried to compose himself. He knew he wasn’t saying it right, he knew he was making a mess of things, but he found himself at a loss for words. 

When his gaze returned to Y/n’s, Obi-wan found nothing but concern and adoration in her eyes. Gather his courage, he softly spoke in a rush. “It is I who should be apologizing. You have given me nothing but the greatest of friendships, and I have allowed my personal feelings to overcome logic. I have not only compromised myself, but also you, especially here tonight. For too long I have tried to contain my emotions, to snuff them out, but instead they have consumed every part of me. When I realized how close I was to losing you today, I became acutely aware of the fact that I could be stuck with my silence forevermore. It is deeply unfair, but I ask for your patience as I unburden myself of these innermost feelings. I expect no return, but they must be put out in the open or else I fear I shall die from them.” 

Anxiously Obi-wan searched Y/n’s face for any sign of discomfort or repulsion, but she seemed almost welcoming to his intentions. Taking this as a sign to continue, Obi-wan proceeded with his speech.

“For as long as I can remember Y/n, you have been my greatest friend; somewhere along the way, however, my feelings for you shifted from platonic to romantic. Despite my best intentions, I continue to fall in love with you every day. You are absolutely perfect in my eyes, and indeed you are the most brilliant, intelligent, caring, and dare I say beautiful person I have ever met. There is no where that feels more like home than you, and I do not think all the spice users in the galaxy could be more addicted than I am to you. I would give up the sun for your laughter and my own life for your happiness. Every moment I spend with you is more incredible than the last, and every day I must be apart from you is complete agony. You are the object of all my desires and the person I wish to devote myself completely to. Our code would have me cut you out of my life, but never before have I felt more right than by your side. If you said the word, I would leave the order right now and never look back.”

Here Obi-wan took a deep breath, overcome with the strength of his own feelings. “If any of my words or affections have been offensive to you, I apologize from the bottom of my heart.  If my feelings have repulsed you, say the word and I will leave you at once, and never again will I discomfort you as I have tonight. I only ask that you put me out of my agony and make your own feelings clear now.” 

While Y/n had remained silent during the entirety of Obi-wan’s speech, inside she felt her heart swell and her body flood with joy. The very affections that he was now professing was the same that Y/n had harbored for so long. 

With tears threatening to spill over, Y/n smiled at Obi-wan. “I have loved you from the very first day Obi-wan, and I do not think I could ever stop loving you.” 

A smile grew on Obi-wan’s face, and he practically beamed with joy. Taking Y/n in his arms, he spun her around and around until they were both laughing. Setting her back down, he kept his arms around her waist and just took her face in. Y/n slid her hands up from Obi-wan’s neck to his cheeks, holding his face between her palms. Unsure of who leaned in first, their lips connected, and immediately sparks ignited within their souls. Softly and gently they kissed, neither having had this contact with another person before. Carefully they explored the sensation, enjoying the feeling of their lips touching.

 Obi-wan pulled away, looking over Y/n to see if this was okay. Gently she brushed his nose with her’s, letting him know that she was fine with the direction this was taking. 

Suddenly Obi-wan’s hands slid down from Y/n’s waist to her thighs, and he pulled at them. Following his direction, Y/n jumped and wrapped her legs around Obi-wan’s torso, her arms wrapping around his neck. Once again Obi-wan pressed his lips to Y/n’s, this time more assured and confident in his actions. This time, there was no hesitation or caution; over and over Obi-wan kissed Y/n, this time their mouths moving together in tandem. Caught up in the sensation, Obi-wan walked forward until Y/n’s back hit the wall. She gasped at the contact, but she quickly reconnected her lips to Obi-wan’s. 

His fingers dug into Y/n’s thighs, gripping onto the them tightly without hurting her. She was wearing sleep shorts, and Obi-wan enjoyed feeling the texture of her skin as his fingers splayed over her thighs. His touch sent goosebumps along Y/n’s skin, the sensation of the skin to skin contact thrilling her. 

Obi-wan’s lips left Y/n’s, moving to press kisses all over her face; first her cheek, then brushing along her nose, to her eye, to the corner of her mouth, and then Obi-wan trailed his lips along Y/n’s jaw, pressing kisses all the way down to her chin and then up the other side. Y/n’s back arched at the contact, her head tilting back to give easier access.

For a moment Obi-wan pulled away, his lidded eyes looking over the woman he loved. Gently he guided her legs back to the ground, and he let her go with a smirk. As he backed away, Y/n felt a little bit of a fire and boldness within her chest; moving towards him, she pressed her palm against Obi-wan’s chest and gave him a gentle push. The back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, buckling and forcing him to sit. Climbing on top of him, Y/n straddled his hips as it was her turn to tease him. Carefully she hovered her lips over his own, so close yet not quite touching. Obi-wan made a noise and tried to claim her lips, but Y/n moved back just in time. She bit her bottom lip, trying to contain the smile that was growing. 

Y/n softly squealed as she felt Obi-wan grab onto her hips, digging his fingers into the soft skin as he pulled her impossibly closer. Her cry was cut short as he pressed his lips to hers; sighing deeply, the two relaxed into the touch, enjoying having the other so close. 

Suddenly Obi-wan fell backwards, pulling Y/n down with him. Laughing, she curled up into his side, head resting on his chest. Obi-wan’s fingers ran over her hip, tracing invisible patterns on the cloth covering them. Y/n’s hand clutched onto his shirt, feeling the fabric beneath her touch. 

“I’ve just made your life a whole lot harder you know.” 

Rolling her eyes, Y/n huffed as she propped up onto her elbow. “My life was hard enough trying to not be in love with you, I hardly think keeping a secret relationship with you will be any harder.” 

Obi-wan smiled at Y/n’s declaration, but still his eyebrows pulled together in concern. “We interact with some powerful jedi every day, if they sense any indication of our affections, we could be in some serious trouble.” 

“Then we’ll figure it out together. My life has been infinitely better since knowing you, and I can only imagine it will get better now that I get to love you too.”

Obi-wan’s smile grew as he felt his beloved’s lips press a kiss to his bearded cheek, and he sighed in contentment as he allowed himself to relax into her mattress. “If Anakin ever finds out about us, I’ll never hear the end of it.” 

“About that......how do you feel about double dates?” 

“WHAT-”

#obiwan #obiwan kenobi #obi-wan kenobi #obi-wan #obi-wan kenobi series #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obiwan kenobi x reader #obiwan x reader #obi-wan x reader #kenobi series #kenobi x reader #Spotify

[solarlotus]

Obikin Head Canons

So, I’ve got some HCs kicking about. TW for underage (a little bit, not much) and a/b/o if that’s not your bag.

1. Anakin has been in love with Obi Wan since he knew what attraction was. He can’t remember a time when he hasn’t adored him

2. Obi Wan was so disturbed that he began to find his teenage padawan attractive he booked himself onto a ascetic retreat and left Anakin in the temple for 6 months when Anakin was 16. The retreat didn’t work.

3. Anakin is really hurt that Obi Wan feels ashamed of having sex with him.

4. Obi Wan rarely lets go, but when he does he’s a slutty subby bottom.

5. Obi Wan’s weird Stewjoni biology means he is self lubricating, Anakin is obsessed with this and studies Stewjoni biology. Master Nu is very suprised to see him in the library so much.

6. Anakin gets Obi Wan pregnant when he is 19, their first baby is Cal-Ket.

7. In a verse where Anakin doesn’t fall Obi Wan is in a relationship with him and that keeps him in the light. Obi Wan recognises what Palpatine is doing and steps in. 

8. Luke and Leia are born when Anakin is 22, they hid their first baby, Cal-Ket, but they can’t hide Luke and Leia. They are prepared to leave the Jedi, but after Palpatine has been exposed and defeated by Anakin and Obi Wan they are invited to stay and reform the Jedi order.

9. Obi Wan likes to deep throat Anakin, it isn’t until they’ve been together a year that he gets over his shame and finally does this. 

10. Obi Wan can lactate and feed their babies. His lactation makes Anakin feral. 

11. Obi Wan is a size queen.

12. Anakin gets off big time on making Obi Wan pretty then messing him up.

#obikin #my head canons #Anakin Skywalker #obi wan kenobi

[prowlingthunder]

between the woods and frozen lake

between the woods and frozen lake https://archiveofourown.org/works/49804042

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Gen Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types Relationships: Dooku & Shmi Skywalker, Shmi Skywalker & The Force Characters: Shmi Skywalker, Dooku | Darth Tyranus, Original Character(s) - Character Additional Tags: Battle of Galidraan (Star Wars), Post-Battle of Galidraan (Star Wars), Alternate Universe, JEDI AU, Jedi Padawan Shmi Skywalker, Jedi Shmi Skywalker, Force Sensitive Shmi Skywalker, Master/Padawan Bond, Abuse of Master/Padawan Bond, Mandalorians are Jedi Boogiemen, Mandalorians - Freeform, Jedi Culture & Customs (Star Wars), Battle of Galidraan AU Language: English Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo (@badthingshappenbingo), General Star Wars Bingo, Star Wars Rare Pair Bingo! (@starwarsrarepairbingo) Words:2,262 Status: Complete

Summary: At the Battle of Galidraan, Jedi Padawan Shmi Skywalker makes a choice that forever, irrevocably alters her life's path

From here, everything changes.

Notes: Officially marking the following: Bad Things Happen Bingo: Forced to Watch SW RarePair Bingo: Mandalorians SWGen Bingo: Power Imbalance, Breaking the Rules, Jedi AU, Free Space

TW: Dooku abuses a Master/Padawan bond to force his student to do something against her will, which she would not have done otherwise, even in the interest of saving lives.

#star wars #ptwrites #fanfiction #shmi skywalker #dooku of seranno #creative bingos #star wars rare pair bingo #bad things happen bingo #general star wars bingo #fandom bingo #prowlingthunder #ptbingos #fandoms

[lcstinthestars]

Introducing Senator Padme Amidala 

tw : Death mention 

THE BASICS;

NAME: Padme Amidala Naberrie 

ALIAS(ES): Padme 

AGE: Twenty-Seven

PRONOUNS & GENDER: Female She/Her

BIRTHDAY & ZODIAC: Libra

FACECLAIM: Lily Collins 

AESTHETICS: A fire in her eyes that burns bright and draws you in.  A smile that floods the room with warmth and life.  An infectious personality that urges you to join her in any adventure she brings forth.  A stubbornness that would make her stare down a god for her own belief. 

A DEEPER LOOK;

BACKGROUND: Padme was always destined for civil service.  When she was just twelve she desired to enact change in Naboo this lead to her desire to be Queen of Naboo.  At age 14 she became the youngest Queen in Naboo history under the guidance (manipulation) of Senator Palpatine.  Palpatine helped her become Queen believing she’d play right into his hands, but he could never estimate how hard it would be to control the young Queen.  Padme sought to globalize Naboo and began making trade agreements outside of their galaxy network.  This lead to a blockade of Naboo by the Trade Federation under the orders of Darth Sidious.  Due to Padme’s tactical skills, she had surrounded herself with body doubles that could all swap out and portray each other with ease.  Each Handmaiden was trained with hand to hand combat skills and blaster training.  No one could spot the difference between the Maidan’s, they master speaking similarly and even walking the exact same way.  Sabe was Padme’s prime double and when the incursion occurred.  They swapped places for the foreseeable future.  Padme and her handmaidens were rescued by Qui Gon Jin and his Padawan Obi Wan.  With the intent of bringing them to the Senate to plead their case before the Chancellor.  With a brief pit stop on Tatooine, she came across Anakin Skywalker for the first time.  A young boy who had a good heart in her eyes.   Padme fell under Senator Palpatine’s manipulation when she agreed to call a vote of no confidence in the sitting Chancellor and give her nomination to Palpatine to take his seat.  Leading him to become the acting Chancellor during the entirety of The Clone Wars. Padme returned to Naboo and finished her reign after the Blockade was lifted.  Later joining the Senate at the request of her successor and would later serve in the Senate till her death.   Padme became a thorn in the Dark Side during her time in the Senate.  Leading to a death contract being taken out on her head, leading to the death of one of her trusted Hand Maidens who stuck by her side as she ventured into the Senate.  This brought her back into Anakin Skywalkers life, when The Council was requested to provide her a Jedi-Body guard.  Anakin and Padme became close during this time and started a relationship in secret that would lead to her death and the birth of her twins.  Padme couldn’t fathom Anakin turning to the Dark Side but when faced with proof provided by Obi-Wan she sought him out herself.   She stared the monster he became in the face and lost consciousness.  Padme later awoke aboard the Cambria.  No kids, No husband and just a new life faced before her.   Padme has been creating her own life here, hoping to cancel out the horrors her husband had done.  

WEAPONS: Blaster, three plasma daggers. 

POWERS/ABILITIES/SKILLS:  Tactical Genius, Politically Motivated Brain, Blaster Training, Combat Proficient 

GREATEST STRENGTH:  Her belief in the good that people can do. 

GREATEST WEAKNESS/FLAW:  Her love can blind her to the truth. 

ONE FEAR:  Her children are gone.

ONE HOPE:  That she did enough good back home that the Republic was able to be rebuilt without her. 

HEADCANON(S): Padme has spent her whole life being underestimated by those around her.  She often uses this to her advantage. Padme often gets looks as Head of Security on the Ship but she runs a tight ship.  Her guards meet daily for training, she personally reviews every file or piece of paperwork that comes across her desk.  She has her teams back and will take on any challenge with them.

THE QUESTIONNAIRE;

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT BEING DROPPED INTO THE CAMBRIA PROGRAM? ARE THEY EXCITED? SUSPICIOUS? CONFUSED? : Terrified at first but motivated to do some good.  

WHAT DOES YOUR CHARACTER HOPE TO SEE THE MOST DURING THE CAMBRIA ONE’S JOURNEY? : Home.  

IF YOUR CHARACTER COULD BRING ONE THING OR PERSON FROM HOME, WHAT WOULD IT BE? : She’d bring her children.

#cambria:intro #muse: Padme Amidala

[phoenixyfriend]

(This is the "Ob*kin but make the power dynamics painfully real" AU I was talking about earlier today. I waffled back and forth against tagging the ship, and decided not to since it's not pro-ship, just attraction exploration. As such, I'm censoring the ship name so it doesn't pop up in anyone's searches.)

So I end up reading a lot of Ob*kin when filtering by Tropes because it's just The Big Ship so it's bulks out most of the tags I frequent. A lot of those Ob*kin AUs have it so Obi-Wan does the whole "I started noticing your attractiveness when you were still a padawan, of course I couldn't act on it" thing.

I'm thinking an AU that kicks off with Obi-Wan developing said feelings when Anakin grows into himself a bit... except instead of just ignoring it, he did as Obi-Wan does and took An Action!

Namely, he goes to the Council and states that his feelings towards his padawan had gone into an inappropriate direction, and as he was unable to distance himself from the attraction, he feels that he and Anakin need to be separated until such a time as the feelings have passed or Anakin is knighted, as Obi-Wan feels that it is improper at best for him to remain Anakin's master in this situation.

I tossed this at @willowcrowned, as one does, and we had some fun.

Willow:

Oh Anakin would be devastated and feel completely betrayed Like obviously the reaction changes based on whether or not Anakin reciprocates those feelings, but it’s bad either way If he doesn’t reciprocate, then he feels used and worthless like Obi-Wan was just keeping him around to leer at (even though that’s what Obi-Wan is trying to avoid with this!) and palpatine is taking full advantage and going ‘see! the Jedi don’t care about you!’ If he does reciprocate then he’s furious at Obi-Wan for acting like his feelings have to be denied, like Anakin isn’t good enough for him and he probably tries to convince Obi-Wan that there’s no conflict of interest Oooooh you know what would be really fun? If Palpatine implanted those feelings in Obi-Wan on purpose to cause a rift

SO MUCH POTENTIAL DRAMA

I think Obi-Wan initially Does Not Tell Anakin what's going on, just "takes a solo mission" and temporarily transfers training to a trusted friend, someone who's tagged in to help when Anakin was younger (probably Bant or Quinlan, but there are other options) in hopes that this is something he can work through/around

And whoever takes him knows what’s going on and Anakin knows they know and they won’t tell him so he starts worrying that Obi-Wan is dying or something I mean it does make SENSE obi wan would want to tell him himself and his friends would know that

Obi-Wan you stupid slut

"Why can't Obi-Wan just Continue To Not Act On This" something something fanon training bonds mean he could accidentally reveal something and he's worried Anakin would feel pressured to reciprocate.

I mean there’s also just the basic conflict of interest and the fact that Obi-Wan has never trusted himself on anything ever in his life How can he KNOW that these new feelings would have no affect on the way he’s training Anakin? How can he be certain it wouldn’t inadvertently hurt him?

And Obi-Wan insists in visiting a shrink for This (despite refusing to visit one for grief counseling and the like)

Honestly I think the council would agree no matter what Training bond or no

I do think it's necessary in dialogue for the audience as justification, because "why can't he just keep his hands and mouth to himself like a person with basic respect" is a reasonable enough question in many ways for people who don't QUITE have a full understanding of what power dynamics can mean.

And "Anakin finding out and feeling pressured might be out of Obi-Wan's control because Magic Brains" is easier to explain than the other stuff.

I like the idea that Obi-Wan drops him off with Bant for a few weeks/months and that's long enough for her to put Anakin through a few basic medical modules and long story short Anakin's qualified to be a field medic by the time Obi-Wan gets back (and was so busy studying that he barely had time to see Palpatine).

(This is the good ending, but Obi-Wan is still having extreme angst.)

#Obi Wan Kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #Anakin and Obi Wan #one sided attraction #one sided ob*kin #master padawan relationship tw #teacher student relationship tw #sort of #phoenix posts

[luna-writes-stuff]

Day 27: Off The Table, Obi-Wan Kenobi

Song link

Fanfic, female! reader

Mutual pining, fluff but angst???

Word count: 2765

Tw: Set between Phantom Menace and Attack Of The Clones. Mutual pining. Jedi council not allowing relationships. Very fluffy Obi-Wan. Kinda domestic, but like,,,not really because they’re not technically together.

Summary: You and Obi-Wan have been head over heels for one another since the day you met and both of you knew it, but his training would not allow the two of you to be together. But one night, Obi-Wan had the inescapable urge to run away with you.

"Will I ever love the same way again? Will I ever love somebody like the way I did you? Never thought you'd be so damn hard to replace. I swear I don't mean to be this way."

Sometimes, it feels as if the universe was against you. Life would treat you right for once and fate would make it so that glee would be over soon.

And that is how it had gone with everything. Yet, it happened more often with a certain jedi in your life: you had known Obi-Wan for a very long time. His master was an old family friend, and so you managed to meet his apprentice. And what happened to the two of you could only be described as love at first sight. That stupid telling old people used to say, something you had never believed in. It was something that had always been there.

And neither you, nor Obi-Wan were blind to it. You knew what was going on. Hell, you even knew it from each other. But he had obligations and rules to live by. And you had your entirely different life: You were no jedi. You were not even involved in the politics. You were merely a girl he learned to know through his master. Even if he would act on his feelings, it would not end well for either of you.

So you were forced to stay so far, yet so close to one another. And it would be bothering you until the day you died.

"If I can't have you, is love completely off the table?"

As his master came to pass, he visited you often. At first to help you through your grief, but eventually for company. He seemed to enjoy being around you more than before.

And as Anakin became his padawan, the boy grew up knowing you too. As Qui-Gon had done to his padawan.

Years flew by, and the pain accompanied by the joy the two of you carried whenever seeing one another only grew.

Obi-Wan would stay awake for days after meeting with you, his mind begging him to leave with you. The only thing stopping him had been his responsibility over Anakin. He did not mind throwing his entire life work away if it meant to be with you the way he wanted to. But for now, all he could do was dream.

"Do I sit this one out and wait for the next life? Am I too cold? Am I not nice? Might not be quite yet healed or ready. Should I be goin' too steady?"

It had been a tiring day for him, and all he needed to do, was some place to rant. Somewhere his words and actions wouldn’t be watched.

Somewhere his padawan wouldn’t be breathing over his shoulder constantly.

“Master!” Anakin shouted, running to catch up with Obi-Wan, who let out a tired groan as he continued walking.

“I did not know you were back on Coruscant.” He exclaimed, matching his steps with his master’s as they walked through the halls of the Jedi temple.

“I just arrived.” Obi-Wan notified, not sparing Anakin a second look as he walked towards the transport outside.

“Well, I have been practicing my lightsaber tactics, and I could use some good feedback.” The younger jedi went on, twirling the handle of his lightsaber.

"But I just wanna know is love complеtely off the table?"

“Anakin, being a jedi is not merely wielding your weapon. You must be calm, collected and one with the force.” Obi-Wan warned. “Those are things you might want to pay attention to.”

Anakin groaned at the words, rolling his eyes. “Will you at least watch?”

“I am quite busy now. I will look later.” Obi-Wan told, before hopping into a speeder.

“Oh, I see.” Anakin muttured, raising his eyebrows at his master.

“See what?”

“You are going over to miss lover again.” The young padawan winked. “Now is barely the time.” Obi-Wan interrupted.

“Of course.” Anakin gasped, shaking his head in humor. “At least tell her I said hi.”

"Will you bе there? Can I still love you? Not yet healed or ready. Shouldn't be goin' too steady."

The ride to your house seemed to last forever. His head had been reeling about everything that happened on his trip. There were so many things that came to pass where he just couldn’t agree on. And he could never tell Anakin, for he would give the padawan the wrong impressions.

He’d have to talk with someone who would remain on his side. Someone who would offer him a comforting shoulder. And he could not deny that that someone was you. The one person he could turn to.

So the wait was agonizing. He had been rushing through traffic, trying to remain unseen by the Coruscant guards as his eyes remained on the road - or what could be compared with it.

"Just wanna know is love completely off the table?"

And when he finally arrived to that familiar doorstep, he all but jumped out of the vehicle, rushing up to that familiar blue painted door. The only one in the street.

“Give me a minute!” He heard someone shout from the other side as he knocked on the door.

“I will!” He returned, though his eyes kept scanning the streets in case someone would see him.

“Oh, Ben!” You acknowledged from the other side, recognizing his voice. “The door is open. Come in! I’ll be out in just a sec.”

"I'll wait for you. Even though it always feels like I'll be number two. To someone you can't hold anymore."

A fresh waft of baked goods entered his nostrils the moment he stepped inside the small homage. It was obvious you had been cooking, though you were not found in the kitchen.

He walked over to the counter, observing the pastries that had been neatly placed on top of it. They had been warm - no, hot - telling him they had only been out of the oven for a short while.

“You can grab one of the buns from the kitchen!” You yelled from your room, obviously still busy.

Obi-Wan smiled at the words as he gladly obeyed your order, dropping his cloak on one of the chairs. “Were you reading my mind?” He teased.

“You’re the jedi here.” You answered, walking into the room. Your hair had been relatively wet, which he quickly took as a sign that you had just finished showering.

“You can take them to the living room. Sits a bit nicer.” You spoke, gesturing towards the plate of baked pastries, already leading the way to the second room.

The jedi nodded gratefully, grabbing the plates before following your lead, simultaneously chewing away on one of the buns.

"If you let me in, I'm ready to give you what I couldn't before. 'Cause I got you, girl, let me help you through it."

“How are you?” You asked, letting yourself fall to the couch, rearranging a few pillows.

“Tired.” He answered truthfully, sitting down next to you as the plate rested on his lap. “And fed up.”

You frowned at his words, leaning forward a bit to observe his face more careful. “You know, it’s not a terrible thing to simply speak your mind to the council.” You tried.

Obi-Wan chuckled at the words. “Obviously, you never met them.”

“No, duh.” You agreed, grabbing one of the baked goods on his lap. “But they cannot force you to do things you don’t want to.”

“You’d be surprised.” Obi-Wan continued, making you narrow your eyes at him.

“You, mister Kenobi, should take some time to focus on yourself and train that forsaken boy that became your padawan a while ago. The poor kid will never become a jedi master like this!” You exclaimed in frustration, resting your head on his shoulder as you angrily took a bite of your snack.

"You're trying to fill the void with a couple boys. I can see right through it. I can you love you harder than I did before. Was in a dark place back then. I was toxic, then I was toxic to someone else."

“I am here now, right?” He proposed, smiling at you.

“Yes, but every time you leave this house, you also leave the planet. Take some time off!” You ranted on.

And Obi-Wan could do nothing but laugh at these words. He had come to you to talk about his miserable day, but instead, you began ranting to him, telling him about anything that bothered you. And he did not even mind.

“I cannot just walk up to the council and tell them I need a day off, because a friend tells me so.” He explained.

“No,” You raised your finger. “you are not supposed to have relations, because of the whole jedi thing, so you cannot say we are friends.”

“I cannot form attachments.” Obi-Wan laughed. “It does not say anywhere relations are off the table.”

“Shadow banning.” You defended. “If you admit to having a platonic relationship with me, that means you are attached to me as a friend. Same thing.”

Obi-Wan sighed in humor at you, resting his head on top of yours.

“If only it had been that easy.”

"I was haunted by the hills. I couldn't give you my all, but I will. If you let me in your arms. If you let me in your heart."

It had plagued him for years; the thing the two of you had. It had been forced to strictly platonic, but each time he heard you speak about him as a friend, something about him just began to hurt. Forming no attachments had already been an issue since the day you met, but it gradually seemed to become even worse.

And there were no words that could tell him how to feel or what to say. None could tell you everything you needed to know. There was so much to unpack, so much to reveal. And the longer the two of you held back, the worse it became.

And the second you mentioned that platonic relationship, something in his heart just snapped. As if it was a match that had been waiting for weeks to finally be lit, igniting a deep buried flame.

"I don't think that love's completely off the table."

“But I fear the rule ‘no attachments’ failed a while ago.” He admitted.

“I know.” You sighed, lifting his head from his shoulders, returning to your own corner.

It was something that always seemed to happen. Each time you were close to one another, you backed away. You knew Obi-Wan could not act on his feelings, even if he wanted to, but he would not draw that line for himself. If it was up to him, he’d hold you in his arms every day and tell you you were simply friends.

And that was something you could not do. So you backed away. As you always did. If he could not draw that line, you would.

"Will you be there? Can I still love you? Not yet healed or ready. Shouldn't be goin' too steady."

But he wasn’t having any of it today. Instead of accepting your offer, he set the plate of buns down on the table, resting his back against the couch again, reaching his hand out towards you.

You looked at it with confusion, not understand his notion.

“Take it.” The jedi explained, squeezing his fingers together once, before reaching out for you again.

“Ben-“ “Please.” He interrupted, giving you those eyes you could only receive when he was serious.

So you let your guard fall down, accepting his hand gently. When he finally felt your hand in his, he held onto it tightly, pulling you into his arms, his head back on top of yours.

You sighed, not knowing what to do. He was stepping over his own boundaries and he knew. And still, he would not stop himself. And it scared you. He had never been like that before. Not that impulsive or passionate.

"Just wanna know is love completely off the table?"

“You know this cannot be.” You mumbled, relaxing slightly in his hold.

“I know.” He admitted quietly. “But it doesn’t hurt to dream, right?”

You formed your lips in a thin line, trying to force your heartbeat to calm down as the fluttering in your stomach only seemed to increase by the seconds.

“Why are you making this so difficult?” You murmured, squeezing his hands once in assurance. Both to you and him, letting him know you’d still be there for him, even as you can’t be.

"So can you hold me? If I let you, can you prove it to me? 'Cause I need you to calm me down, babe. Gotta get out of my head. Tryna be healed from this pain. Just wanna know, just wanna know, can you, baby?"

“I cannot simply ignore this.” The jedi stated, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

And the gesture left you nauseous. Not the type of nauseous that made you want to throw up, but the kind where it feels as if you are falling down at a rapid rate. And that was exactly what was happening.

You were falling. Not again, but still.

“It can be nothing but a dream.” You reminded, forcing the words out of your throat.

“Perhaps.” He whispered. “But I cannot be the only one who is hurting because of it.”

“You are not.” You assured. “Yet both of us must bare through it.”

That seemed to quiet him down, for his responses were silent, on the tip of his tongue, yet not quite there. As if he was running his options on what to say, or how to act.

As if the council had been watching him from the window. But the stress of his eventful day and the feeling of you flaming him down by simply laying in his arms just felt right. There was nothing in the entire universe that could calm him down more than you did. And you did not even have to try.

"Can you touch it like you believe in it, baby? Do you think you never gonna leave on me, baby? 'Cause I ain't her and you ain't him, thankfully. But it's gon' be hard to let someone else in again."

“You know my heart belongs to you.” He confessed in a whisper. “Whether that be in dreams or reality, you will always hold it.”

You turned your head slightly at his words, forcing your eyes to meet his. Yet they seemed to hold nothing but sincerity and love, one he had held many times for you, but none seemed as genuine as it did now. There was an overwhelming amount of serenity and emotion hidden behind those two windows. Those eyes who could tell you stories when words wouldn’t.

And you knew his words rang true. You always had. And as you knew you had his heart, he knew he had yours.

"Will you be there? Can I still love you? Not yet healed or ready. Shouldn't be goin' too steady.”

“One day.” You promised. “There will be a day we can run away together. And I will not let you go when that day comes. But until then, we must hide.”

“I no longer want to.” Obi-Wan mumbled. “And I want you to know that. If you tell me today is the day we run, I’d listen.”

As he finished his sentence, both his hands engulfed yours. “I’d step on the quickest ship to Alderaan with you, where we can sit out the rest of our days. All you have to do is tell me to.” He spoke truthfully, tracing his thumb over the back of your hand.

“They need you at the temple.” You sighed, the words hurting your throat as you had no choice but to let them out. His head was stuck in the clouds again.

You would leave with him, no doubt, but he was still needed. When the council will run on itself again and Anakin will no longer be depended on his master, you would take him on that flight, but now had not been the time. No matter how much both of you might wanted to.

"Just wanna know is love completely off the table?"

“One day.” You repeated. “I will follow you anywhere and everywhere, but Anakin still needs you. Once he knows enough, I will leave with you. I promise.”

Though that had not been the words Obi-Wan wanted to hear, they were enough to soothe the rapid beating of his heart. He did not need hope, for he knew you’d be there.

All he needed was patience. Something that had begun to be such a difficult concept whenever he was around you.

“I will be keeping you on that.” He agreed. “For now, we can stay like this. Only for tonight.”

You hummed at his proposal.

“Only for tonight.”

"I will wait for you, whenever you need."

#november writings #Star Wars #tcw #the clone wars #obi wan kenobi #obi-wan #ewan mcgregor #anakin and obi wan #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan X reader #obi wan Kenobi imagine

[kyberconfessions]

No Matter Where You Go, I Will Find You. Part 4

Hello All! Sorry for the delay! My Hubby and I have had a busy month of July and I wasn’t able to keep to my schedule like I wanted too. Sorry about that. From Baseball games to Comic-Cons to Disney trips, we’ve been stupid busy. I am working furiously on the other chapters and hope to at least have some words on Cody soon! Y’all, not going to lie, the fact that there has been ZERO mention of him on The Bad Batch is killing me.

As Always:

This will eventually be a 18+ older fic and deals with anxiety, death, sex,  PTSD, murder, loss, found family, Order 66, and coming to terms. This is not just a fluff fic. It will very much be dealing with very dark and hard themes, so please, if that is something that can be too hard for you, don’t read.

Pairings: Rex x Reader x Cody (polyamory) I should say this is NOT a Rex x Cody fic. There will be ZERO Clonecest on this blog or story. Reader is a consensual relationship with Rex and with Cody. Yes they share, yes they will eventually have sex together, but Cody and Rex are NOT in a relationship nor will they be intimate.

Rating: 18+

TW: Death, Murder, infanticide, death of the Jedi, PTSD, Loss, Anxiety, eating disorders, sleep disorders, Order 66. I will add other things as I think about them

Part 4: It’s You.

You waited with your back to the door on Hondo's ship; another one was docked right outside, carrying the crew that had something either of you wanted. You took a deep breath, adjusting your blaster in your thigh holster and checking over your clothes before putting on your helmet. The base of it was a black Ubese helmet, edged with black dyed bantha hair and painted to resemble a Kaleesh skull in white.  The edges of the white skull were rimmed in a dark red and the faux eyes were painted an electric green, almost making them glow.The breather of the helmet was pointed down, tapering at the end and etched with designs reminiscent of a certain Kel Dor. Twin points also came down from the sides,  once again resembling a Kel Dor breather, but painted to look like the fangs of the Kaleesh skull. When you wore it, you were an incredibly fearsome sight to behold. 

Hondo had stepped out of the cockpit while brushing off his clothes, but when he saw you he went on and on in a poetic manner making you snort behind your mask, "Pretty Lady must you put on that horrid thing? How am I supposed to gaze upon your beautiful Visage? How am I to write songs of your shiny eyes if you insist on covering them? How am I to chant loudly into the heavens about the glory of your smile when all I see is that ugly thing staring back at me?" 

The sound that came out of the modulator was a loud crack of static. It wasn't lost on him though, and he waggled his brow at you, knowing he made you laugh.

"Hondo, one of these days I'm going to launch you out of an airlock. Then you'll be Wild Space's problem."

He laughed loudly, but before he could give a retort, the door-lock opened and the crew from the other ship began to board.

Immediately the hair on your neck stood up and your hackles raised. It was time to go into heartless bounty hunter mode, another mask that became easier and easier for you to put on.

Hondo noticed your posture change and went to greet whoever had come aboard, stepping in front of your turned back. Whether it was to hide his best and most terrifying asset or to put space between you and them for your sake, you never knew. You liked to think it was his way of still protecting you, even after all these years. It probably was.

"My friends! My friends! So good to see you again! Ezra Bridger! It has been too long!" 

You heard the cacophony of voices greeting him in a less than enthusiastic excitement. If these people were your friends, you would have laughed again. But you didn't have friends.     From the sound of it, there were four people behind you. Nothing difficult to take down, but not something you should be careless with. There was something off about one of them though, you couldn’t put your finger on it, but they were...familiar.

"Allow me for introductions! This tall, imposing creature behind me is my associate, bodyguard, smuggler, chief pilot, chief mechanic, artistic muse, platonic soulmate, oldest friend, and beautifully deadly bounty hunter, all rolled into one.  And this band of colorful characters are the crew of the infamous Ghost!" Hondo waved his hands in a grandiose manner between the group and your back; this was a well rehearsed situation that you both had done several times, though for whatever reason, he decided to over exaggerate your titles. Normally he would do the talking and you would scare the clientele. And if you had too, if they had something that you knew belonged to them, you'd kill them. Nothing would keep you from the last remnants of the ones you loved and lost.

"Ahh, Hondo? Does your associate have a name? Or talk? Are they even awake? Are they just going to stand there?" You heard a boy's voice, a cockiness only found in the young lacing every word. 

"Ezra." A woman, probably someone important, chastised the boy.

You waited for Hondo's signal for you to turn, but the door opened once more and you heard one more set of boots and something soft, furry, stepping across the steel. A voice spoke. A Lassat. Dangerous creatures, you had seen a few when you were still a young Padawan with your old Master. Before the war. Before they died. Back when your biggest concern was the eventual Trials. You knew a fight wasn't going to be easy and you hated the idea of killing an already dying race. But you would if you had too.

The Lassat male was arguing with someone about something, but you weren't paying attention.

Hondo touched your shoulder softly, your signal to turn. He had spent the time making pleasantries and lulling them into a false sense of comfort, probably. He could have been talking about the weather on Jakku for all you cared. You were more concerned about making sure the straps on your holsters were open, giving you easy access to draw.

Slowly you moved, letting them see just how dangerous you were, how in control of your body you were, how much they should fear the creature behind the helmet. But, you halted mid spin.

All of the blood drained from your face, your mouth went dry, your throat tightened up, and you were overcome with such anger and gut wrenching sorrow you thought you would snap.

The man that walked in with the Lessat was wearing HIS armor. The armor you had spent 15 years looking for.

You blanked. 

Somewhere there was yelling and cries to stop, but you couldn't make it out. Your head was spinning and it felt like there was cotton in your ears and as tunnel vision took over, everything knocked your senses for a loop. You didn’t realize you were doing it, but you grabbed both your blasters, turned fully, and pointed them at the man. Half the crew jumped out of the way, the others pointed their weapons at you, and Hondo tried to reason with both sides, standing with his back to you while the man had his own blasters trained on your head. Hondo quickly got out of the way of the four barrels, still trying to diffuse the situation. You couldn't understand what he was saying, everything sounded so dull and muted.

No, wait. Those weren't just any blasters. You would know those DC-17s anywhere. 

"HOW DARE YOU!"

 Someone was screaming. You couldn’t tell who it was or where it was coming from. It was garbled and cracking, a mechanical sound. It hurt your head. You just wanted everything to stop, just for a moment. But the world kept spinning and you felt like you were going to pass out any moment. You just wanted everything to be quiet, you needed to think, you just wanted a moment to figure out what was going on. Why was it so loud? Why did everything hurt? You just wanted everyone to just be still. Just be still, if only for a second. 

You could feel your breathing pick up, that tightening fear in your chest, that ache that gripped your heart and threatened to pull it from your body. ‘Just be quiet, please, please, be quiet. I can’t...I need to think, I need to think..’

"HOW DARE YOU WEAR HIS HELM!” More screaming,  “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO HE WAS?! DO YOU?! HOW DARE YOU WEAR HIS ARMOR AS YOUR OWN! HOW DARE YOU STAND THERE AND KNOW NOTHING OF HIM!" Maker, the screaming was coming from you. You were yelling at him, venomous spit falling from your mouth, words meant to shame and kill. Your blasters were trained on his chest, fingers laying on the triggers. 

"TAKE IT OFF OR I WILL RIP IT FROM YOUR BROKEN CORPSE!"

You could feel something wet on your cheeks but you didn't know what it was or where it came from.  Did this man kill Rex?! Did he rip his beloved armor from his broken body? Did he leave him to rot in some cursed field? Or did he just take it from his already forgotten skeleton? Your heart beat a mile a minute, you were sweating and your whole body shook in anger, but your hands never wavered, blasters trained perfectly on the man. How dare this cretin dishonor Rex, dishonor his memory. 

"YOU WILL NEVER INSULT HIS MEMORY AGAIN! TAKE IT OFF!!"

You were panting and your modulator was straining under the volume of your voice.

No one lowered their weapons. No one spoke. No one moved a muscle. All that could be heard were your wheezing sobs through the helm.

 There was a beat. And then another. And then the man did something unexpected.

You just knew you were going to have to kill everyone. You just knew you were going to peel bloodied, beloved armor from some backwater nothing. 

But when he slowly lowered his arms, holstering the DC-17s, you faltered. Was he giving up so easily? Perhaps he didn't want bloodshed after all. Good. But it didn't make you lower yours. Nor did it make the others lower theirs.

Slowly, like he was trying to coax a scared lothcat, the man raised his open hands to the old helm covered in hatch marks with jaig eyes and pulled it off. 

First you saw weathered skin tanned from the sun, a white beard trimmed nicely, then a strong nose and finally golden eyes, eyes you had seen a million times before. Eyes that haunted you every time you went to sleep. Eyes you thought you would never see again.

When he had taken the helm completely off and tucked it under his arm, he spoke. And everything inside of you shattered.

"My name is Rex. Captain of 501st regiment in the Grand Army of the Republic. This is my armor that was issued to me almost 20 years ago. I don't know who you think I am, but I can assure you, this is my armor."

The others watched you, weapons trained. No one moved, no one spoke, no one breathed. You, on the other hand, felt everything rushing back at you full force. When he spoke, his voice was a punch to your gut, knocking the wind out of you, causing you to hyperventilate.  Your blasters, still trained on him, began to shake violently in your hands.

You were panting and your eyes blurred from all of the new tears. Panic rose high in your throat, cutting off your breathing. It can’t be. How could it be? He died. The Empire recorded him dying after Mandalore. You were there, you saw the absolute destruction. No one survived that.

Involuntarily you dropped your weapons and they clattered loudly to the durasteel ground, but your arms were still stretched out, still holding onto phantom guns. 

You inhaled sharply, your modulator cracking in a loud hiss. Slowly, trying to control the tremors that wracked your body, you moved your hands to your own helm and unlatched the buckles on the sides. There was another hiss as the airtight seals released the pressure and vented.

"What's going on..." the young boy started. "Hush, Ezra Bridger." Hondo cut him off, silencing him with a hand on his shoulder as you and Rex stared one another down.

You lifted your helm up and then let it fall to the floor, a loud clank shaking the silence between you all.

Rex sucked in a breath and released it in a harsh shudder, his mouth hanging open. "Mesh'la," he whispered; he could feel his knees giving out, causing him to stumble forward and push his way through his crew.

His eyes were as wide as saucers and glistening. Fat, heavy tears tracked down his face and fell into his beard as he reached shaking hands out to you. He paused for a moment, afraid that if he touched you, you would disappear like every dream before. But carefully his hands gripped your face, gently turning it side to side, taking in the scars and faint crows feet and wisps of grey hairs you now sported. Your age and harsh life showed, but you were still just as beautiful, just as ageless, just as perfect as he remembered. Still the same eyes that he dreamed of every night. 

You couldn’t breathe. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of your lungs and every nerve ending burned. You could hear your blood pumping in your ears, creating a painful rush like being thrown under the oceans. Every part of you felt like it was on fire. You couldn’t think, you couldn’t move. Slowly your shaking hands gripped his wrists and held him close. Your body tried to take a shuddering breath, but it only came out as a choked sob while you squeezed your eyes shut.

As the noise left you, Rex pulled you close, his mouth over taking yours in a passionate kiss, full of tongue and teeth. Your hands left his wrists and wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as he continued to hold your face.

"Rex. I thought....I thought you were...Rex," you whispered into his lips between kisses.

"I searched for you, Cyare. I looked everywhere. I thought you died. I thought Cody.."

Your breath hitched at his name, making Rex pull you impossibly closer. You both stood there, wrapped in eachothers arms, crying, kissing, whispering love to one another, completely oblivious to the others. 

You weren't sure if your knees failed you, or if it were his, but one of you fell to the floor, taking the other with them, still wrapped in each other, crying and holding on for dear life. 

The Twi'lek woman quietly ushered the others, a man and a Mandalorian girl, along with the boy and Lessat, out. Hondo followed behind, a smug smile on his face, ridiculously proud of himself, giving you both much needed privacy.

#Rex x Reader #Rex #Cody #Cody x Reader #Rex x Reader x Cody #Hondo x Reader Platonic #Hondo x Platonic!Reader #Rebels fic #clone wars fic #Poly #Jedi!Reader #No Matter Where You Go I Will Find You #Star Wars #Reader is an Ex-Jedi #Reader is now a Bounty Hunter #Big reveal #finally meeting Rex

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

An episode/fic of Clone Wars I wish we'd gotten

(Inspired by a post made by @angelsaxis )

TW: Sexual assault/harassment, in-universe racism? (against clones:( )

I don't know the reason so don’t ask

But Rex, Ahsoka, and Anakin have to go to some fancy ass gala on Coruscant

(Maybe to celebrate a victory? The Chancellor is trying to encourage hubris in Anakin, but that almost backfires when he INSISTS that his Padawan and Captain are invited as well because they were Instrumental in said victory).

Ahsoka and Rex reeeeaaaaally don’t wanna go, Anakin makes them because he doesn’t understand why, until afterwards.

The actual party should only be the first 5 minutes or so of the episode, all we see is Anakin having a great time, regaling an attentive audience with many (exaggerated) stories of his heroics

We see shots of Ahsoka and Rex both looking very uncomfortable and unhappy at the edge of the crowd, maybe involved in some uncomfy looking conversations, always keeping an eye on each other and trying not to get too separated. They make each other feel safe.

Maybe it's on the journey back to their temporary accommodation? A hotel or something? I dunno

Maybe it's not until they get back to said accommodation

Rex and Ahsoka are still close together (even though it's only the 3 of them now) looking drained and unhappy, Anakin sat opposite them telling them how much everyone loved him, how it was so nice to be appreciated and get to relax for once

"So, how was it for you guys? I told you it wouldn't be so bad, though I barely saw you the whole night. Off telling stories of your own?"

Rex looks at the floor and we hear a muttered "It went about the same as I'd expected actually"

Ahsoka manages to look Anakin in the eye but only briefly before gazing out the window "You should have let us stay here Master Skywalker."

(That's odd in itself, they've been together for a while now, and Ahsoka NEVER calls him Master Skywalker. Occasionally 'Master' on it's own, but never his full title, its faaaar too formal for the brother/sister relationship they have at this point. Its normally just Skyguy.)

Anakin’s face falls, I can imagine him actually getting kinda annoyed at this point. Because they never usually get opportunities like this?? They got to dress up and be people instead of soldiers? They were being celebrated?? Why aren't they being grateful for this honour?

"Fine then. Why was it so terrible?? I'm dying to know Snips, Rex."

I don’t know who goes first. Maybe Rex? Because he had been watching what had been happening to Ahsoka all night and he did as much as could to protect her but he was Just a Clone. He figures she probably doesn't wanna talk about it to her Master, and he feels the need to protect her now that he's actually in a position to do so (even though she also spent the whole night trying to protect him).

So half the episode is focused on Rex. Telling Anakin what had happened to him over the course of the party, how no one respected Clones. He can't count the number of times he heard the phrase "just a clone" over the last few hours, he lost count after the first 30 minutes.

We see flashbacks of people asking insensitive questions, asking if clones feel pain, if he felt any emotion at all, being referred to as "It", and even "cannon fodder" by a particularly cruel senator.

(We see Ahsoka start to get angry in his place, about to yell at the senators and representatives, but Rex holds her back subtly, and the flashback fades before we hear her say anything. It's important to show the audience that Ahsoka was there, and defending him, but not the point of the story.)

We see him have to smile through conversations as he explains to Anakin that "I couldn't have retaliated, I couldn't Do Anything. They already saw me as Just A Clone, so they weren't exactly gonna ascribe any importance to what I had to say. And if I retaliated? All it would have done is confirm every bad thing they thought about me and my brothers, and then the next clone that comes along gets treated even worse than me."

He's clenching his fists and he hasn't looked up since he first started talking. At some point over the (very one sided, as soon as he noticed how genuinely distressed Rex looked, Anakin resigned himself to listening and not interrupting) conversation, Ahsoka had put a hand on his shoulder

Maybe Anakin makes a mental note, Rex is usually NOT a touchy person, but if he's allowing (and leaning into) physical comfort?? He must be pretty distressed.

(Before ya’ll get excited. This is NOT Ahsoka/Rex. They're just bros)

Maybe another couple of flashbacks, someone "jokingly" saying they don't know why Rex is being honoured, the mission only succeeded because he followed the orders of his Jedi, like he was meant to, he was just there to execute the vision of a higher lifeform, and had nothing to do with the actual victory.

At "higher lifeform" Ahsoka clenches her teeth, and the hand on Rex's shoulder tightens

At "higher lifeform" Anakin shouts, the first time he's made a noise since Rex first started talking:

"What? That's so ridiculous!! These guys know that you save my ass more than I save yours right?? And that you come up with at least half of the tactics we use??"

"Respectfully sir, they don't. And this is.... pretty normal actually. Like I said, the gala went exactly as I expected it to. The only people to really interact with the clones consistently are the Jedi. Pretty much everyone else thinks we're... things. Like droids."

Anakin looks very much defeated at this, slumping in his seat. He hadn't really thought about it before, the clones are a part of his life, they're his friends, they have names and favourite colours and opinions and ideas better than his sometimes (most of the time). The idea that the rest of the galaxy doesn't see them that way is... odd, and very much heartbreaking to him.

Rex goes on, he's thinking at this point that if he's gonna explain, he should explain fully

"One of them even..." he sighs. Clenches his hand. Coughs. Turns a little red, and looks away, even further from eye contact than he was before. "One of them quite forcefully requested I.... serviced him. "You're just a clone" he said. Apparently that means that's my duty or something. Especially since I don't feel anything, physically Or emotionally. Ahsoka saved me from that one."

(Maybe at that he and Ahsoka make brief eye contact, nodding at each other, Rex giving the hand on his shoulder a little pat, before she turns her head away again. Her hand remains.)

Anakin is fuckin Furious at this. He stands suddenly and starts pacing, he keeps going to say something and realise he doesn’t have the words. The Darth Vader theme plays briefly before he stops and sags. Sits back in his chair, looking at the floor,

He knows there's no point ranting or raving, Rex and Ahsoka don't need to hear what he thinks of it because they think the same, and he's starting to realise that it would be cruel to extend this part of the conversation any longer.

Quietly, "I'm sorry, Rex. I had no idea that not everyone sees you and your brothers the way I do. I'm really sorry."

Maybe that makes Rex smile a bit. He KNOWS he's friends with his general, but after such a shitty night, it's nice to be reminded

"It's alright sir. There's nothing you could've done about it anyway, nothing's gonna change the minds of that kind people. I know what me and my brothers do is important, and we know what we fight for."

Anakin seems to regain his anger at this a bit

"Yeah but Everyone Else should know as well!! It's their ungrateful asses that you're-"

Rex cuts him off with "I know sir, it's fine, really. Besides, it coulda been a lot worse."

Anakin sits back at this, it hadn't been said, it hadn't even been implied, to be honest Rex had been trying to keep the attention on him, but the "a lot worse" had reminded Anakin that Ahsoka has been very,,,, subdued through all of this. Her hand remains on Rex's shoulder, and she's obviously been listening, going by her small movements and barely-there facial expressions (she had witnessed all of this after all), but still, she stared out the window.

Rex notices that Anakin’s attention has shifted and

"It's late sir, let's just forget it and head to-"

"Snips?" Anakin interrupts him

She sighs, looks at Rex, nodding slightly. She knows he would've stood up to the general if she'd wanted him to, at the smallest shake of her head he would've demanded that it really was too late. That the two of them had an early briefing, that they needed to head to bed.

But she figures Rex has told his half. Now it's her turn. The next half of the episode is Ahsoka's explanation.

At her nod, Rex takes the hand that had been on his shoulder and holds it between his own, loosely, she could pull away anytime she wanted and it would look natural, but she had helped him through his explanation, it's time for him to help Ahsoka through hers. His turn to gaze out the window, paying attention, but not wanting the eye contact.

While Rex had been sorta hesitant, Ahsoka jumps right into it. She's angry but she's resigned, and she's been dealing with this practically her whole life (whenever she left the temple, anyway). If her master, who was practically her big brother at this point, didn't understand, or brushed it off like so many others had, then he simply wasn't worth the respect she originally thought

(which was what she was scared of I suppose. That Anakin would be like everyone else.)

She holds her head up high and looks Anakin directly in the eyes, her face neutral, but hardened, hoping for the best, but expecting the norm:

"I'm a young woman master. Who is also a Jedi, who is also a commander in the Grand Republic Army. People don't like that."

At this we see flashbacks of conversations where Ahsoka gets spoken over, politicians who have never even touched a blaster, trying (and failing terribly, unknown to them) to explain battle tactics to her. Men calling her "sweetheart" and "girl", condescendingly asking about broken nails and makeup and clothes.

She tells the story of a particular representative asking what it was like to "watch the great Jedi at work, whilst she twiddled her tails in the background?"

At this Anakin is once again furious:

"The plan was your idea!! We would've been Screwed if you hadn't been right in the middle of it shouting orders!! You told them that right??"

She responds swiftly, her tone biting:

"And what do you think would've happened if I had? What exactly, Master, do you think I could've said in that moment, to change their minds? To alter a lifetime of thinking like that? They think I'm a child. They think I'm a weak little girl who's far too stupid to know how to put on my own clothes, let alone come up with complex battle tactics on the spot, in the middle of a firefight. There's no changing their minds"

Anakin clenched his teeth, he really has no response. What could she say? Nothing that wouldn't get her laughed at even more

"But it's fine. I'm used to being underestimated. I'm small and I'm young (I'm gonna say this is late in the series, Ahsoka is 17ish, still young, but not a child) and I'm a girl. Hell, YOU underestimated me when we first met."

(Anakin cringed slightly at that, he doesn't think about their first meeting often, but up until now he'd thought about it with fondness, now he thinks about how annoying it must have been for Ahsoka, to once again be underestimated by someone only a few years older than her.)

"It's fine. It's not like I'll ever meet these people on the battlefield. And if I do? I'll have them beat before they have even a second, to laugh at me."

At this she looks down, and her voice drops, likes she's talking to herself, rather than her master. He hears it anyway.

Next time she speaks, her voice raises in volume once again, back to normal, but she keeps her eyes on the floor. Her feet shuffle slightly, and her hand visibly tightens in Rex's, searching for comfort (he provides without a split second of hesitation, squeezing in return)

This worries Anakin, Ahsoka, whilst very physically affectionate, was NOT one to seek comfort, or burden others with her problems. So he sits and listens, quietly thinking that the worst is yet to come (he's right).

"That wasn't even the worst part. I'm used to it. I mean I'm used to the rest as well but it's just so much worse in a crowded party and everyone had had a few drinks so it was even worse and I just wasn't-"

"Snips?" His voice is quiet, she was breathing deeply, and her hand gripped Rex's increasingly tight. Her eyes were widening, and she looked a little panicked.

At his quiet reminder that he was there, and everything was calm and quiet and OK, she relaxed. She took a deep breath and relaxed her hand in Rex's (though didn't let go) but she still doesn't look up

"Like I said before, I'm a young woman. Wearing the only dress I have, at a crowded party full of drunk politicians who always get what they want. It was a little... handsy... in there. People think they can take what they want. I didn't drink anything the whole night because I was scared to go to the washroom alone, it wasn't like Rex could come with me. I almost overheated because I was scared to go out into the balcony alone. We tried to find you at one point but..."

She hesitates at this. Rex is visibly angry, eyes furrowed, glaring out the window, but not Once, does he release, or tighten, his hold on Ahsoka’s hand.

(I just want this to be really emotional ya’ll. I need my bros being bros and protecting each other, but also the reality of 20ish year old Anakin, the chosen boy who was also buds with the Chancellor himself, to not understand (but desperately Want to) Rex's and Ahsoka’s troubles).

"But?" Anakin prompts. He is unimaginably furious at this point, not even trying to hide it on his face, but being gentle with his words and actions, he's gotten a lot better at controlling himself and he KNOWS that Ahsoka is not the one who deserves to meet the other end of his anger right now

"The group of guys you were with, telling some story about man eating plants to. They had already mentioned that they were gonna try find me after the party for a... "little fun" they said. And they had been the... touchiest... of all. I didn't wanna encourage them or anything so, we went to the other side of the room and just waited it out for the rest of the night."

I can imagine her voice sort of trailing off at the end there. Maybe in the beginning montage we see Anakin telling said story to said group of guys? But this time we see it further zoomed out? Anakin and the group just in the background, with Ahsoka in front looking kinda scared but mostly uncomfortable? And Rex by her her side looking angry? Before they turn and walk in the opposite direction.

That's the end of her story, her recount of the marvellous party they'd just got home from, and she sort of deflates as she realises what she's just talked about. It's normal for her, but it's not something she was ever planning on having a conversations about, least of all with her Jedi Master.

When Anakin realises she's finished, his hand sparks, and he looks down in surprise, to realise that he's clenched it so hard that he's damaged the wiring without noticing. It's fine for now, but he'll need to get it checked out at some point in the next couple of days.

But overall, that does nothing to calm him down. He's in a range of anger that he's never been before. So powerful that even Rex can feel it, despite him not having a lick of force sensitivity.

(The next day, Anakin receives a transmission from an off-world Obi-Wan, asking if he's alright, because he'd felt something strong, and bad, and he's sure he's just being paranoid but wanted to check in, just in case)

So Anakin is quiet, and still, but breathing deeply and clenching his hands and jaw, and how dare they? How dare people talk to his captain like that and how dare they underestimate his Padawan and how Dare they lay a hand on her? How DARE they talk to him about what a smart and capable pupil he had, moments after treating her like an object to be played with? How DARE they??

He forces out a breathy "Ahsoka I am... so sorry. I had no idea it was that bad. I mean Padme has mentioned a few things before but you're just a kid, I mean you're a Commander, I guess I thought everyone took that at face value and gave you the respect you deserved. I'm so sorry that I was wrong about that."

He's more sad, than angry at this point, looking up at Ahsoka. She slowly raises her eyes to his, a small smile on her face, all three have tears in their eyes. For Ahsoka and Rex, it's from a slow build up of stress and fear and annoyance and offense and resignation, over the last few hours. For Anakin, it's the sudden realization that people he cares very deeply for, are being treated this terribly, right in front of him, and he hadn't noticed it, and it had been happening so long, that they were resigned to it.

(No one notices the slip up when Anakin had said "Padme", or if they did, no one mentioned it.)

Maybe the episode ends there? Maybe it ends with a flash forward to Anakin scaring the shit out of those guys (with the Vader theme playing of course)? Maybe it ends with them all going to bed? Maybe they all fall asleep on the same sofa? Ahsoka and Rex kinda still need a comforting hand, and Anakin never wants to leave them alone again.

But we know, through flashforwards, or implications in future episodes, that Anakin talks to Padme about moving for legislation that protects the rights of the Clones. And that every chance he gets, Anakin forcefully talks about his confidence in his Padawan, how She regularly outsmarts him and saves his life, about how she is a wonderful learner, fighter, and tactician, and the army would be in bits without her (and his Clone Captain).

~

I dunno man. This is super heavy. But I just really wanna read something where Anakin, young, humanoid (is that what they call it in star wars? I've no clue), chosen one, friends-with-the-actual-godman-Chancellor, Anakin, realises that life is VERY different for his Padawan and the clones. Yeah, when it comes to BIG things like the war, and the council, and his marriage, he experiences a lot of shit, and has big problems. But in the small everyday life he has between the war, he's got it very easy, in a way that the other two don't. I also think it could add to the reason he fell to the dark side. No one can be stupid and judgemental to people HE cares about if HE is in charge, building a new empire in exactly the way he wants it to be.

I'm shitty at writing so if anyone wants to like,,,, turn this into an actual fic, credit and tag me lol

#captain rex #star wars #ahsoka tano #ahsoka #clone wars #star wars the clone wars #clones #501st #anakin skywalker #ahsoka and rex are best bros i will FIGHT you on this #Coruscant #chancellor palpatine #darth vader #jedi #obi wan #clone wars headcanons #anakin headcanons #ahsoka headcanons #captain rex headcanons #rex headcanons

[bluescluelessly]

Tossing the Script out the Airlock (and Good Riddance to it)

[Rating: Teen] || hurt/comfort, suspected infidelity, polyamorous relationships, made up Stewjoni biology because George Lucas didn’t say Obi-Wan wasn’t a little weird and if he’s gonna give his birth planet a stupid name then I’m gonna give him stupid biology tweaks, and use of Dai Bendu, the language of the Jedi (translations at the bottom of the post)

tw: mentions of grooming (because Palpatine)

Ships: Bail Organa/Obi-Wan, Bail/Breya, Anakin/Padmé

Palpatine tries to convince Anakin that Padmé is cheating on him with Obi-Wan. Anakin confronts his friend about it, finds out a bit more than he bargained for, and not at all what he was expecting to. 

°|●.*•

From the Revenge of the Sith Novelization:

“That’s why I put you on the Council. If the rumors are true, you may be democracy's last hope.”

Anakin let his chin sink once more to his chest and his eyelids scraped shut. It seemed like he was always somebody’s last hope.

Why did everyone always have to make their problems into his problems? Why can’t people just let him be?

How is he supposed to deal with all this one Padmé could die?

He said slowly, eyes still closed, “you still haven’t told me what this has to do with Obi-Wan.”

“Ah, that – well, that is the difficult part. The disturbing part. It seems that Master Kenobi has been in contact with a certain Senator who is known to be among the leaders of this cabal. Apparently, very close contact. The rumor is that he was seen leaving the Senator’s residence this very morning, at an… unseemly hour.”

“Who?” Anakin opened his eyes and sat forward. “Who is this Senator? Let’s go question him.”

“I’m sorry, Anakin. But the Senator in question is, in fact, a *her*. A woman you know quite well, in fact.”

“You–” He wasn’t hearing this. He couldn’t be. “You mean–”

Anakin choked on her name.

Palpatine gave him a look of melancholy sympathy. “I’m afraid so.”

Anakin coughed his voice back to life. “That’s *impossible!* I would *know*– she doesn’t… she couldn’t–”

“Sometimes the closest,” Palpatine said sadly, “are those who cannot see.”

Revenge of the Sith, Matthew Stover, p. 250

°|●.*•

This is it. Anakin is going to just… ask him. He’s not sure what he’ll do if he finds out Obi-Wan has been sleeping with his wife, but…

Well, he’ll figure that out if it’s true.

He went to Padmé’s apartment, felt for himself the evidence that Obi-Wan had been there.

Now, he needs the truth. He needs to be wrong.

“So… I heard you spent a late night with a senator,” he asks, trying not to sound overly accusing. Obi-Wan always gives him the benefit of the doubt.

Several emotions flicker across Obi-Wan’s face then. He eventually fixes his gaze on Anakin, a modicum of panic in his eyes. Anakin’s heart sinks.

The next words out of his old Master’s mouth, however, catch him by surprise.

“You… know about Bail?”

Anakin’s eyes go wide. No, he didn’t–

– but he can’t help thinking he knew it, it was a male senator –

– “Bail?” He blurts out, confusion showing. “No, Palpatine said–”

“– Palpatine saw me with Bail?” Obi-Wan asks, his voice rising an octave.

“No–” Anakin insists, hands going up in a placating gesture. “Not– I didn’t know about Bail. I uh. Palpatine told me he heard you were seen leaving Padmé Amidala’s Apartment.” He explains, and some of the worry drains from Obi-Wan.

“Oh,” he says, sounding infinitely relieved. “No, I, er. Well, I definitely haven’t been making ‘late visits’ to Senator Amidala.” He gives Anakin a curious sort of look. “I hear she’s spoken for, not that I would pursue her, in any case. It would be… awkward.”

“Awkward?” Anakin asks, feeling as if he’s missing something.

Obi-Wan gives a tired sort of smile. “Besides the fact that my preference is not for the fairer sex; she once made an advance, and I turned her down.” Seeing Anakin’s flaring temper, he is quick to clarify, “long before your knighting, Anakin. But, as I said, awkward.”

Anakin nods, appeased. Then, he remembers there’s a more important topic to focus on here. “So… Bail?”

The reaction is immediate; Obi-Wan’s face blushing a dark red as he looks away. “Yes, I– if you could keep that to yourself, I’d appreciate it.”

To hell with it, Anakin thinks. “Sure Master, I’ll keep your senator a secret if you keep mine.”

“The fact that you think your relationship with Senator Amidala is a secret is adorable,” Obi-Wan responds, a glint of amusement in his eye. “Half the council is still asking me why they weren’t invited to the wedding; I can’t give them an answer, as I wasn’t invited either.”

Anakin looks shocked by that information, which is truly endearing. “Wait, they aren’t mad?”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “You proved to me that you could put responsibility over your wife on Geonosis. Relationships aren’t forbidden so long as there’s not an unhealthy attachment involved. Anyways, we’ve always bent the rules a bit for you.”

Anakin feels as if a weight has been removed from his shoulders. A weight that Palpatine put there, he thinks.

The old man has been wrong about the Jedi on two accounts now… why does Anakin hold what he says about the Jedi in such regard?

Perhaps he should fact-check more of the Chancellor’s absurd claims.

“Ah.” Anakin responds intelligently. “… so why does your, um, thing with Bail need to stay a secret?”

Obi-Wan’s red cheeks return once more. “Well. A… few reasons. Not that I think I’d be in trouble for it, but… I’d like to respect Bail’s privacy. He is, after all, Married.”

“Does Breha not know?”

“She knows,” Obi-Wan assures his former Padawan. “I wouldn’t agree otherwise. But that doesn’t mean they want the whole senate knowing about their … arrangement with me; or others.”

Again, Anakin nods to show his understanding. “The less people who know, the better. Right…”

“Exactly.”

“Still,” Anakin starts, bemused, “I didn’t take you for the 'mistress’ type.”

A complicated flurry of emotions cross his friend’s face. “… neither do I,” he responds, a little clipped. “I think of myself more as Bail’s type.”

Anakin realizes how insensitive that came off a bit too late. “I’m sorry–”

Obi-Wan waves him off. “It’s difficult to understand when I haven’t explained. Bail is Bi; he generally prefers men, but his heart belongs fully to Breha. I prefer men as well, and I have… a condition… so we came to a mutually beneficial arrangement, in which Bail and I enjoy one another while on Coruscant, as he and Breha cannot be together as often as they’d like to be.”

Anakin gets all that, he does. But one thing sticks out to him that he feels needs to be clarified. “You have a condition?” Is Obi-Wan sick?

If its possible, Obi-Wan grows more embarrassed. “Well, I’m from Stewjon.”

That clears nothing up.

At Anakin’s clueless expression, Obi-Wan sighs and explains. “Right, quick biology lesson. Somewhere down the evolutionary line, it was decided that Stewjonians need more incentive to reproduce. So, while it isn’t necessary in order to live out a full, average life span, our bodies naturally produce more beneficial hormones during sexual intercouse. This means, the more I…” he pauses, looking displeased by the verbal corner he’s painted himself into. “… get laid, the slower I age, the faster I heal, and the less sleep I need. All beneficial to fighting a war, yes?”

That’s all news to Anakin. Fascinating. “So do you have… other arrangements too?”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “As of now, just Bail. I could, of course, visit the lower levels to the same effect, but I find it safer and more preferable to have intercourse with someone I like and trust.” Less likely to catch something that way, too.

Anakin nods, strange mixtures of relief and utter confusion swirling in his mind. At least he knows Obi-Wan has no interest in Padmé… but that doesn’t explain the way he felt his presence in the force, in her apartment.

“Okay. Uh.” He hesitates, knowing there’s no real, good way to word this. “Just… to be 100% clear, you’re not having secret meetings with Padmé in an attempt to overthrow Palpatine and the Senate?”

The look Obi-Wan gives Anakin would make someone think he had just grown a second head.

“… no, wherever did you hear such nonsense?”

Anakin rubs the back of his neck, feeling the last bit of worry ebb away. “Just rumors.”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “Truly, the Senate gossip gets wildly out of hand. I’ll admit, I do on occasion have tea with Padmé, but there’s nothing treasonous about friends visiting one another and trading stories and doing each other’s makeup from time to time.” He pauses. “And while neither of us have very high opinions on Chancellor Palpatine’s term, there’s no plot against him, as far as I am aware. We are both just eager for this war to end, and for him to release his emergency powers so the Republic can return to democracy.”

“You think his rule is undemocratic?” Anakin asks, looking appalled by the idea.

“He’s been in power long past his elected term,” Obi-Wan points out. “A new Chancellor should have been elected already. Over this time, he has used the war to gain far more emergency powers than any one person should hold.”

Sensing Anakin’s impending argument, he continues. “… Of course, this makes it far simpler to fight a war; I simply worry that when the war has ended… he won’t give up his power so easily. He has resisted peace talks, and every other attempt to bring this war to an end sooner. So I… have concerns.” He gives Anakin a tired sort of smile. “But last I checked, he hasn’t yet made it treasonous for Padmé and I to exercise our right to free speech.”

“Of course not,” Anakin responds, sounding distracted. He’s always thought having one person to make decisions was a good thing… or, does he just think that because Palpatine has told him it’s a better idea so many times?

He has many things to question. But, more importantly right now, Obi-Wan mentioned make-up?

Anakin shakes himself from his thoughts, giving his friend a curious look. “Uh. Rewind a second. Did you say Padmé did your make-up?”

“And I did hers,” Obi-Wan answers easily. “We both had dates.”

That would explain why they were, in some cases, sitting closer than friends would; as far as he could tell in the force.

“Bail takes you on dates?” Anakin asks, curious but trying his best not to be pushy about it. This is something new, which he never anticipated learning about his Master… he wants to know more, but as a Jedi with his own secret significant Senator, he understands the secrecy.

“Not all of them are Bail,” Obi-Wan answers after a moment, as if weighing how much he should admit to. “But yes, he does. He’s quite a gentleman really; I do look for other potential partners, but I fear he’s spoiled me for most.”

Anakin can imagine; having a Senator as a partner is pretty nice. “The tea is that good?”

“And the company,” Obi-Wan agree, a crinkle at the corner of his eyes. “I’ll admit… I’m glad you know now. I don’t like keeping secrets from you.”

That warms Anakin’s heart, so much that he doesn’t quite know how to express it, so he deflects. “If you have pictures of yourself in that makeup, you better not keep them secret anymore,” he teases with a grin.

the teasing pulls a laugh from Obi-Wan, who shakes his head. “I don’t; but I’m certain Padmé has plenty. I think she even took a few of us the one time Bail stopped by her apartment to pick me up.”

Oh, he is definitely getting those from his wife later. “So Padmé knows about you two?”

“She introduced us,” Obi-Wan admits fondly. “I don’t share details with her, but she’s a smart woman.”

That she is. “Why am I the last to find out?” He protests, trying his best not to let it come out sounding whiny. 

“Because, my dear padawan,” Obi-Wan starts, gently ribbing him. “You are a dear friend, and an unparalleled partner in combat, but you can’t keep a secret to save your life.”

“I can keep a secret!” he argues! “I swear, Master, no one else will ever know. I only talk to you and Padmé, anyways.” He pauses, “Well, and Palpatine.”

“And he mustn’t know,” Obi-Wan insists, more serious now. “Bail is one of the leading senators advocating for clone rights and peace talks, Anakin. He is a good man. And, he disagrees with Palpatine quite often. I shudder to think what the Chancellor would do with this information, should he find out. I wouldn’t put it past him to use it in an attempt to not only discredit Bail, but to berate the Jedi as well.”

“But neither of you are doing anything wrong,” Anakin states, frowning.

Obi-Wan’s eyes close for a moment. “And it’s not wrong for a system to want to remain neutral and out of the war, yes? And yet, Palpatine did everything in his power to try to strongarm Republic forces onto Mandalore, even rushing a vote 3 days ahead of time, without Satine present, based on a doctored holorecording.”

Anakin doesn’t look at it that way… but he’s not going to argue with Obi-Wan where Satine is involved. Though he now questions how romantic their relationship really was, he knows they were, at the very least, close.

“Just please, don’t tell him, Anakin.” Obi-Wan persists, looking up at his friend beseechingly. “If for no other reason than Bail values his privacy.”

“Of course,” Anakin agrees easily. “Like I said, I won’t tell anyone. I just… nobody really talks to me about Palpatine like you are now. I guess most people know he’s my friend and are too afraid to say anything less than flattering… You’re giving me things to think about.”

“I try to be honest with you whenever I can,” Obi-Wan responds cautiously. “You aren’t a child anymore, and though old habits are hard to break, I don’t want to keep sheltering you as if you aren’t a capable adult.”

“I sense you have more to say,” Anakin prompts when Obi-Wan doesn’t immediately continue.

His friend nods, looking troubled. “I know he is a close friend of yours, Anakin, and one of the few people you knew and liked here, after leaving your home. Which is why I–mistakenly, I think–didn’t object to his interest in you. Initially, I had hoped another friend would make your transition from Tatooine to Coruscant easier… but… well. I find the way he treats you… inappropriate. In some cases, predatory.”

And with those words, Anakin suddenly feels on the defensive. No, Palpatine is his friend, like a grandfather to him. He isn’t… predatory, or–

Obi-Wan’s hands are up even before Anakin can think of a rebuttal. “I don’t claim to know all the details… but the fact that when you were younger, you didn’t feel comfortable telling me anything of your activities on your outings with him says quite a lot, Anakin. And more than that, when I started to suspect something was amiss, and attempted to join you on visits with him, or simply ensure you weren’t left alone with him, he used his position as the Chancellor to strongarm me into backing down. It was… is, concerning.”

And, that’s news to Anakin. He understands why Obi-Wan hadn’t told him sooner, too. He was a headstrong kid; any attempt to protect him, especially from someone he saw as a friend, Anakin would have just taken as Obi-Wan ‘controlling’ him. He knows better now; after years of being Obi-Wan’s equal. But then, it may have just pushed him away, and further from where Obi-Wan could attempt to protect him.

Still, he feels the need to explain himself. “It’s not– He didn’t do anything… like that…” He starts, floundering a little. “It’s just, I didn’t want to tell you, because he took me places I shouldn’t really be going, and I had fun, so…” might as well come clean now, it’s not like he can get in trouble for it anymore. “He used to take me on trips to the lower levels, like, clubs. And he taught me how to make a chance cube land on the side I wanted, so we would find corrupt senators, and cheat them out of their credits. And, Palpatine said he gave the money to charities, so we were doing good things, you know?”

Obi-Wan closes his eyes, and Anakin is reminded of when he tested his patience early on as a padawan, and his Master would silently count to keep himself calm.

He hasn’t needed to in a long time, not since well before Anakin was knighted.

And despite what the action reminds him of, Anakin knows his Master’s temper isn’t directed at him.

“… Anakin,” he starts, tone gentle but tight. “Please, just. For a moment, put Ahsoka in your place. If she was telling you what you are telling me now… what would you think?”

And Anakin’s gut does a flip, because deep down, he already knows.

He… he knows that Palpatine uses him, says one thing and does another, feeds him constant doubt about his friends, about the Jedi…

He knows this, and yet, no one before has had the nerve to say anything even slightly negative about Palpatine to his face. No one has ever dared do anything but say how great his close friend, the Chancellor, is.

Because like Anakin, people are afraid of him.

He feels a tremble start in his fingers, finally faced to acknowledge how afraid he is. How much it terrifies him to know that Palpatine holds all his secrets, that should Anakin ever be less than his enthusiastic friend, he could be ruined.

He, the hero with no fear… is afraid; a frightened boy in the face of a decrepit old man.

And only now can he show it, in the presence of the only person he’s ever known to have the courage to speak up about someone so untouchable.

As if sensing Anakin’s oncoming panic, Obi-Wan interrupts his thoughts, voice kind and sad. “Anakin, dear one, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He moves closer, and any restraint Anakin had breaks.

He feels 9 years old again, lost and seeking comfort in Obi-Wan’s arms. “I can’t say no,” he whispers brokenly. “Master– Jaieh, I’m terrified of him.”

Hearing Anakin call him Jaieh, like he hasn’t since he was young, since it was too hard for him to call anyone ‘Master’ without dredging up bad memories, Obi-Wan accepts Anakin into his arms, no hesitation or holding back.

Anakin needs support right now, needs to know that he isn’t alone in this, that if he asks, Obi-Wan would walk right into Hell with him. “Enoah foh bika, Anakin.” he promises him, reassures him. “Enoah foh mikeelal.”

“Paienoah kodaih bika,” Anakin says, but it comes out unsure, like he’s asking. Like he doesn’t know if he’s accepted, if he’s really not alone in this.

Obi-Wan’s heart aches, and he holds Anakin closer, pressing a reassuring kiss to his temple. “Haj Dai, Anakin. Paienoah kodaih bika.”

Anakin shatters then– or it feels like he does. So many doubts, so many fears, and Obi-Wan bats them all aside with a few words. Words said so easily, words Anakin feared shouldn’t apply to him.

He cries, his earlier suspicions and anger forgotten, absolved now, as he is faced with the truth that Obi-Wan cares for him; that his best friend is his truest ally, that Obi-Wan accepts him and will always accept him.

As he allows himself to acknowledge that Palpatine is a liar and a manipulator, and he is (and always has been) coming up with vile falsities in his attempts to drive a wedge between Anakin and Obi-Wan; the one person he can rely on absolutely.

And through it all, through his tears and his shattered sense of self, Obi-Wan holds onto him; not judgement or disgust, nothing but kindness and acceptance as he carefully picks up the pieces and helps Anakin piece himself back together.

How he could ever doubt Obi-Wan’s character… he would say he doesn’t know, but he remembers. He knows all the little things Palpatine said, all the betrayals he implied, the way he twisted Anakin’s thoughts to see himself pitted against Obi-Wan instead of regarded with him, as he should. They are a team, The Team.

He should have recognized long ago that their accomplishments aren’t a competition, they are an accumulation of the good they can both do, together and apart.

Anakin may be late, but late is better than never, and he recognizes it now, at his lowest and most vulnerable moment. A competitor wouldn’t hold him and build him back up, stronger than before. A friend does that, a friend and mentor and good person.

When he can speak, albeit in a watery way, Anakin wipes his eyes, face still hidden in his Master’s shoulder. “What am I going to do?”

The answer doesn’t come immediately, and that in itself is a reassurance. Anakin doesn’t want unthought-out platitudes, he wants honesty, and preferably, a plan.

“I don’t know what we can do right this moment, Anakin.” Obi-Wan admits. “He is still the Chancellor… and that won’t change until we end this war. But I can promise you this, my dear padawan, you will never have to go see him alone. You need only ask, and I will be by your side. And as soon as circumstances change, I will do all there is in my power to make sure he never comes near you again, Anakin.”

He sniffles, more reassured by the realistic response than he could ever be by promises that can’t be fulfilled.

“Then we’ll just have to try harder to end this war, huh?” Anakin goes for an optimistic tone, hugging Obi-Wan more snugly.

Another comforting kiss goes to his temple. Obi-Wan is frugal with his shows of affection, so it means all the more now that he is giving them so openly. “We will, Anakin.” He promises, and his voice is so steady, so sure, the rock that Anakin can always lean against. “Together, I doubt there’s anything you and I can’t do.”

“Together,” Anakin agrees, a knot in his very soul coming loose. 

Obi-Wan is right. They are The Team, and that isn’t just a title. Together, they can do anything they set their minds to.

They can defeat Sith Lords, they can end a war, and maybe, just maybe, they can even save Anakin Skywalker’s soul from the Devil.

°|●.*•

Dai Bendu Translations

“Jaieh” || ● Simplified Meaning: Master

Literal Meaning

roots: ‘je’- mystic, ‘ai’- mastery, non ownership. so ‘one who is a Master in the ways of the Force’, implying more like a teacher than an owner.

“Enoah foh bika, Anakin. Enoah foh mikeelal” || ● Simplified Meaning: I am here, Anakin. I am with you.

Literal Meaning

Enoah fo - I am (in a permanent state, not transitive) 

bika- here

[Anakin]

Enoah foh- I am (in a permanent state) 

mikeelal - comitative ‘you’/with you.

“Paienoah kodaih bika.” || ● Simplified Meaning: We are here together, now and forever.

Literal Meaning

Paienoah - We are (in a permanent state, and this has implications for the future)

kodaih - Exclusionary ‘We’ - all of us jedi (exclusionary, implying the inclusion of Anakin in the Jedi and alluding to the exclusion of Palpatine as not a Jedi)

bika - here. 

so essentially, “We are jedi, and we are together, and Palpatine is not, and this matters for the future.”

“Haj Dai, Anakin. Paienoah kodaih bika.” || ● Simplified Meaning: Yes, Anakin. We are here together, now and forever.

Literal Meaning

Haj Dai - literally ‘Force Wills’, a reassuring ‘yes’.

[Anakin]

Paienoah - We are (in a permanent state, and this has implications for the future) [italics stress is on ‘are’]

kodaih - Exclusionary ‘We’ - all of us jedi (exclusionary, implying the inclusion of Anakin in the Jedi and alluding to the exclusion of Palpatine as not a Jedi)

bika - here. 

so essentially, “Of course, Anakin. We are jedi, and we are together, and Palpatine is not, and this matters for the future.”

Thanks to @jasontoddiefor @ghostwriterofthemachine for the translations to Dai Bendu, their fancrafted Jedi Language!

#bailobi #anidala #breha x bail #polyam dating #polyamorous #obi wan kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #Palpatine #Dai Bendu #Anakin & Obi-Wan #Brobikin #language with translations #palpatine is a massive dickwad #hurt/comfort #fic #ficlet #star wars #canon divergent #references to Anakin & Obi-Wan comics #Jedi as family #suspected infidelity #tw: grooming

[the-great-imagines-of-1812]

One Among Us (Cassian Andor x reader Imagine)

Anon Request:  Hey so I love your writing! I’ve got a request. You don’t have to if you don’t want to but I’ve had this idea for a while and I’m not a good writer so you see my dilemma. Anyway my idea is for Star Wars and specifically for Cassian Andor x reader. So like the reader is a surviving Jedi Padawan and of course, she (preferably she) keeps that a secret. She is a rebel now and is friends (maybe even a crush) with Cassian. Something happens where she is outed as a Jedi. Angst and fluff. Thank you!

A/N: Hello Anon! Thank you for your kind words, it means a lot to me! The only thing I’ve changed is that they are already in an established relationship. Otherwise, enjoy. Let me know what you think! (reader is human, I thought it might be confusing at first, but she is human)

!takes place before Rogue One!

TW: mentions of death and blood, being an orphan, a brief panic attack.

~~~~~~

You didn’t remember your parents. 

Or early childhood, for that matter. Your first memory was being brought to the Jedi Temple, at the age of three by Master Kit Fisto, after he rescued you from a group of terrorists holding hostages on Mandalore.

Having no family or friends who could take care of you, Master Fisto took it upon himself, with permission from the Jedi Council; to adopt you and take care of you until you were of age to start training as his Padawan. 

Y/N Fisto. Had a nice ring to it. 

Once you were of age, your master wasted no time in getting to training. You quickly got the hang of it and soon built your first lightsaber in your mid-teens; a beautiful orange color. 

As much as you loved being a padawan, all things came to an end. You were about to start the training to become a knight when the siege of the Jedi Temple occurred. 

You don’t remember much. Kit telling you to get as far away as possible, off Coruscant if you could. 

You remembered meeting Mon Mothma while on Yavin 4; a few years after you had made your escape. Lying to her and saying that you were a mechanic from a neighboring planet; it was better to keep your identity protected.

Which is have you met Cassian. 

Oh, he was the light of your life. He may have painted on a serious face at first, but you were eventually enough to get through him;  you made him laugh. He loved you.

But he didn’t know. 

To the Rebellion, you were Y/N Via’lah. A traditional Mandalorian name. Because it was too dangerous to give off your real name, in fear someone might rat you out to the Empire. 

But someone did. 

You remember the day; and not in a good way. You woke up beside Cassian, his arms wrapped around you and sun shining through the window. There wasn’t much to do today; just a briefing for next week’s mission from Mon Mothma.

With everyone around the table, she began to speak “Before you are all dismissed; an issue has been brought to my attention. There seems to be a Jedi among us.” 

Whispers were heard around the room, and you tensed up. Cassian took note of this, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing a quick kiss to it. He always comforted you; even if he didn’t know exactly what was going on. 

“Y/N,” Mon Mothma said. “What is your last name?”

Heat rushed up to your face and you swore your heart was going to beat out of your chest. “Via’lah.”

“Are you a Mandalorian?”

You swallowed. “Yes, General Mothma”

“Then tell me; why is it that there is no trace of a clan of ‘Via’lah’ on Mandalore? I look up the records of everyone here- yours I can’t find. What is your REAL name?” 

The entire room had its eyes on you.  

“My name is Y/N Fisto. I was brought to the Jedi Temple when I was just a child; I was rescued by my Master, Kit Fisto; and trained as his padawan until the siege of the Jedi Temple. You must understand; I lied for my sole protection.”

“But If the Empire gets word of this, we’re done for!” someone yelled. 

“Leave her alone. You would do the same!” Cassian answered, squeezing your hand. 

“Y/N, why didn’t you go into hiding?” Mon Mothma asked. At this point, tears were about to start streaming down your face.

“She’ll be the end of the Rebellion!”

“The death of us all!”

You rushed out, tears streaming down your face; you headed for yours and Cassian’s quarters and shut the doors, slumping against the wall. 

The walls were closing in on you. Your chest was constricting and tears streamed down your face at an uncontrollable speed. The literal fate of the galaxy is upon your shoulders. 

Cassian enters the room only to see you against the wall, sobbing. This sight broke his heart. Sure, this isn't how he wanted to find out, but he wouldn’t shame you for it. He bens down to your level.

“Amor? (Love?) Can you breathe for me, my love?” he said, putting his hands on your knees. 

“N-no I-”

“Here-” he takes your hands and places them on his chest. “Match my breath, alright? Can you do that?” 

Memories of the siege of the Jedi Temple flashed through your mind, but you were able to simply breathe. 

“That’s it, Querida. (Darling) My strong girl.” He’s pressing kisses all over your face, which makes you giggle. 

“I love when you call me that,” you said, wiping the last wave of tears off your face. “Makes me feel safe.”

“It’s my job- cyar’ika (darling). I love you.” he said, with a smile.

You sat up at hearing the familiar word. “Cass- That’s Mando’a. W-where did you-”

“Ever since I first met you. You deserve someone who understands; always.”

“Vor entye, ner lobe. (thank you, my love.)

“Anytime- riduur. (spouse)” he says.

“Cassian, do you know what that means?”

~~~~~~

A/N: I hope you liked this, Anon! Much Love.

- Talya

#star wars x reader #star wars #cassian andor #cassian andor x reader

[beggingwolf]

the sidgeno star wars au sounds awesome - leak the notes if you pls?? 👀

oh god, ask and ye shall receive 

tw for slavery (in the star wars sense, since this, again, is an INCREDIBLY loose obikin-based thing, and anakin was a slave on tatooine)

[copy and pasted from my google doc]

anyways here’s how I made sid a sports savant in star wars. oof.

Sidney: 

was born into slavery along with his sister in the Hosnian Prime factory complex, where his parents [and eventualy he] worked for Czerka Arms. He and his father were separated from his mother and Taylor when he was 9 standard years old, as they were sold to Giradda Hutt in a deal involving the expansion of podracing, a sport Czerka Arms was heavily involved in, and Czerka Arms’ money laundering efforts. 

Moved to Nar Shaddaa as part of the deal, Sidney and his father were separated, and Sidney was tasked to clean and maintain the Huttball arena with a small group of children. He began to learn the rules while cleaning up the blood and gore left behind after games, and developed a prodigious understanding of the arena and the finer aspects of the game, until he demonstrated his abilities at the age of 13 when he was locked out of the sweeper team’s confines and trapped on the arena during a battle, which he survived despite being unarmed due to his innate talent of being able to perceive Shatterpoints. Intrigued by the miraculous force-sensitive slave, Giradda Hutt offered Sidney the ability to train and become a novelty for the crowd, a champion of the game. Sidney agreed in the hope that, if he succeeded, he could be reunited with his father. Much to his horror, this meant Giradda Hutt started putting other children into the ring as entertainment, which made Sidney believe he was responsible for their demise. [angst!]

Unknown to Sidney, he is incredibly strong in the Force, with a nigh-unheard of midi-chlorian count. Because he was born in the factory complex, he was never tested, and the Jedi were never alerted to his presence. His force abilities allow him an unbeatable edge in the arena, and by the time he was 17, Sidney was the champion of Huttball, and allowed some small mercies as a favor by Giradda Hutt, including a residence in the Corellian Sector. Able to barter for better conditions for his father, who had been working in spice processing, Sidney had been able to convince Giradda Hutt to allow his father to work in a casino in the Corellian Sector. Sidney was working towards enough money to buy his father’s freedom [before his own, knowing very well Giradda Hutt would not allow an asset like him leave without exorbitant amounts of money, which Sidney barely earned from the bets made on him].

However, Sidney is noticed by the Jedi eventually, and a Jedi and his padawan come to Nar Shaddaa to collect him. The padawan is...

Evgeni: 

was born in the Ring of Kafrene, a mining colony, to human parents who already had one child. He was tested for midi-chlorian count and was determined to be Force-sensitive. 

Taken to Coruscant to be raised as a Jedi youngling in the Temple Crèche, Evgeni was a temperamental youngling who roused trouble often in his clan of younglings (Bear Clan), which included Catherine (Tanger’s wife), a female Twi’lek. During his first Gathering, Evgeni failed the final task, which, when combined with his troublemaking past, made some in the Order doubt he would ever be able to find a kyber crystal. 

Upon his second Gathering, Evgeni was able to complete his trials and obtain his kyber crystal. He then passed the Initiate Trials and was chosen by Jedi Knight Pavel Datsyuk to be his Padawan. Knight Datsyuk and Evgeni had a cordial, if occasionally strained, relationship; Datsyuk believed Evgeni capable of many things and found Evgeni lacked the self-control required of Jedi to fully achieve his potential, even though Evgeni was an intelligent Padawan and adept in both combat and politics. While Datsyuk was a negotiator and attempting to groom Evgeni to do the same, Evgeni had an irresistible pull towards archaeology like that of Rachi Sitra and especially the work of Jedi Master Lene Kostana in finding Sith artifacts. 

Evgeni finds the Syn Holocron, introducing him to the memory of Dark Jedi Exile Sorzus Syn and her exile from the Jedi Order due to her quest for forbidden knowledge. This appeals to Evgeni and his general curiosity for Sith artifacts. In her diary (the Book of the Sith), she wrote down the findings on the weapons and artifacts of the Sith [species], bringing them into the new rule of the Sith [philosophy adherents]. Evgeni finds the third Great Amulet. ["The call of Korriban is strong, but it is the call of the dead." ―Darth Sion]

The Jedi suspect Sid will be targeted by the Sith due to his lack of control/upbringing by the Hutts and not the Jedi. However, under their noses, padawan Evgeni is quietly being seduced by the dark side. Perhaps, due to The Rule of Two, the Sith Lord targeting Evgeni intends for him to kill Sid, who is powerful enough to help the Jedi crush the Sith, (or intends for Evgeni to convert Sid into HIS OWN apprentice).

Thus, a galactic tug-of-war erupts, and Sid and Evgeni have to sort of save each other and by combining their power they could rule the galaxy, but love is forbidden for the Jedi, etc. etc. and it’s very overwrought (because star wars!).

Also, 

Tanger is a half-Bothan, half-human hybrid.

Mario (Bram'aare'oklaio) is a Chiss ; Chiss society is highly ordered and operates on the internal battles of clans that undercut each other at every opportunity; this would give Mario a way to connect to Sid and relate to Sid’s feelings about the Jedi council. He is a Shadow child who was moved off-planet in order to protect not just him, but also his family; Chiss society considers Force sensitivity to be a shameful impurity. However, this resulted in the Jedi finding him at a young age and bringing him to Coruscant. His later starting age with the Jedi was a point of contention among many, also leading Sid to trust him. The Chiss highly value privacy and self-reliance, more traits Sid can relate to.

Taylor was also force sensitive and was picked up by the Jedi eventually; she and Evgeni are friends despite their age difference, and she and Sid are reunited. 

....anyways that was the absolute strangest thing I ever considered writing, and I wrote and published a/b/o mafia fic!

#that time beggingwolf nearly wrote a star wars au #unhinged! utterly unhinged! #Anonymous

[legobiwan]

Whumptober #1 (shaking hands)

TW: functional alcoholism

Fandom: Star Wars (Obi-wan Kenobi)

Notes: this is kind of experimental, guys

--------

His hands shake. 

Fatigue. Overused muscles. Drawing on an already-depleted reservoir of adrenaline, just one last time. 

A simple explanation, really.

Obi-wan brings the metal flask to his lips, drawing deep. Liquid fire burns a path down his throat, pooling at the base of his empty stomach. Sharp, ragged edges give way to a quiet, consistent thrum.

A crisis. Florrum had been a crisis. 

Obi-wan knows how to handle a crisis, how to stay steady as everything else falls apart, how to cleave the unnecessary fat of his emotions from the meaty, immediate task at hand.

He can handle a crisis. Perhaps even enjoys them. The cold logic of it, the way they leave no room for thinking, for emotion, for contemplation. Pure mechanics, even in the context of diplomacy. Press here, compliment there, a knowing nod and a well-placed chuckle and everything fell into place.

Obi-wan Kenobi was a master at crisis. 

But every storm eventually dies out, worn down by the elements, by time itself. 

He doesn’t have the luxury of falling apart. Not now.

Not ever.

His hands shake.

It’s a terrible manifestation, this loss of control, of his locus in the Force, a bright-lit sign, just like those ones in the Entertainment District. It shouts his failures at all who pass, showcasing his buried doubts, flashing in garish neon lights for each tourist, each drunk, each criminal, each passer-by - that he has never been enough.

Obi-wan takes another sip. The world warms from grey to sepia.

It's just something to take the edge off, he tells himself, his invisible critics. Something to round the sharp edges of the after.

A quick nip, hidden in a corner of the Temple, ashes of his dead Master still clinging to his robes. The first few months, a frantic blur, shuttling a small blond ball of energy from class to quartermaster to meetings to...

He hadn’t felt good about leaving Anakin with the Chancellor. But he had been desperate for the respite, unwilling to extend himself, to ask for support, lest he been seen as incapable.

Qui-gon had deemed him, if nothing else, capable. He would not fail his former Master in that. 

And so what else could he do but acquiesce, to allow the most powerful politician in the Republic to have his way?

(You could have done more. You could have accepted the invitations from the others. Instead you demurred, claiming a need to meditate, to catch up on paperwork, to perfect your Form III.)

Sometimes, it was the truth. Other times, he snuck down to the mid-levels, broad hood hiding his red-faced shame, long sleeves covering shaking hands, shaking hands, which, with enough help, would turn steady as he forgot, as his stubborn brain produced the chemicals necessary to remember what it was like to be...)

His hands were always steady as he stepped into the turbolift, racing back to the grand halls of the Senate, Anakin’s grin as wide as a desert canyon.  

Obi-wan needed that anchor, that control. 

(Meeting with the Chancellor always left his Padawan in a state. Recalcitrant and proud, unwilling to follow the simplest of Obi-wan’s dictates. He wasn’t capable of being a tyrant, didn’t have the unshakable confidence in his own moral code as Qui-gon had. All he could do was fall back on what he knew, on what others had provided for him, for the Order, over the years.)

The Code, did not waver, did not shake in the face of questions.

The Code remained steady when he couldn’t.

There was another way, of course. His hands had been steady in the red shadow of the reactor shaft. His hands had not wavered in the face of Dooku’s silky temptations. 

(If only his thoughts had been of equal fidelity.) 

Not a single tremor on Mortis. No tremble of an outstreched, pathetic arm on Zygerria, laid low on his knees, begging for the salvation of another. (Never his own.)

(Later, aboard the safety of the Star Destroyer, he would hole up in a forgotten cargo hold, his only company a ratty blanket, several generous bottles of Corellian whiskey, and the stern glare of a good friend. Cody, true to his word, had kept his disapproving silence, taking a place next to Obi-wan on the unforgiving durasteel floor, bottle dancing back and forth between their hands (Obi-wan’s steady hands) well into the night.)

Falling apart had not been a luxury during the Rako Hardeen debacle, and on Raydonia - 

Not once had his hand wavered on Raydonia. His thoughts had stumbled, his ribs had pulsed in an unrelenting ache, blood seeping from his right ear, the jagged tear in his lip screaming at nerves - 

But his hands had not shaken as they held Ventress’s lightsaber.

Then again, rage did much to focus one’s thoughts.

He remembered it from Naboo, the way the Force coalesced, a single point in his subconscious, a weapon of his will, his gathered ire, barely able to wait, yearning to be unleashed on its target.

Maul’s survival had served as odd comfort. For as much as he had been disgusted by his own descent into that well of hatred, it had been mere child’s play in comparison to Maul’s unrelenting rage, an anger so deep, so broken in the Force that it had allowed him to survive, bisected, stranded in a garbage heap, for years.

Maul’s hands, Obi-wan had noticed, never shook.

Cool metal meets his lips. Obi-wan takes another gulp, the cheap, barely diluted liquid razing what is left of his esophagus. 

Maul had razed Raydonia, too, burning it, fires towering, swallowing, suffocating what little life had been left as witness to his terror.

Pain gives focus. Focus, as Obi-wan knows all too well, is central to the life of a Jedi, to his relationship with the Force. He briefly wonders if this is how it is with the Sith, if they torture and maim and kill by means of a million small cuts as a way to focus.

It’s disgusting, a perversion of everything meant to be be good in the galaxy.

It’s also highly effective.

The battle on Florrum shouldn’t have him so distracted. Unlike Raydonia, unlike Naboo, unlike Geonosis, he knew what - who - awaited him on that dusty backwater.

And yet it still hadn’t been enough.

Not for Adi Gallia.

His hands had been steady. But his eyes had widened, unable tear themselves away from the gruesome image of Adi’s skewered, smoking corpse. His hands had not wavered as he leapt from the fallen speeder, vision filtered through the crimson blade at the side of the enemy, his body, his thoughts steel as he landed a single kick at Savage, his own blue weapon raised to cleave the bastard in two.

Hate, anger, fear - it wasn’t that a Jedi never felt these emotions. They were sentients, and even Yoda himself manifested moments of irritation, the closest to any negative emotion the old troll had likely come close to in many years.

It was part of their training, to familiarize themselves with these negative thoughts, to identify their triggers, to understand what was at the heart of that ball of anger, to be able to pull at the thread which would undo the dangerous tangle in a single motion.

Or, that’s what it should be. What he tried to teach Anakin, tried to communicate to Ahsoka. 

That’s what he should have done for himself years ago.

Instead, that knot of unpleasantness only grew, threads multiplying, sprouting, decaying, only to rise again, twice as terrible, twice as tangled. And each time Obi-wan shoved the whole ugly shape into his metaphorical closet, shaking hands the only indication anything had been at all wrong, slamming the door shut with a silent curse and a deft movement to his belt.

Enough alcohol locked the whole thing away, buried under layers of thick, woolen denial

Better quality than the blankets we receive from the Republic, he had mused once, fingering the standard-issue military fabric draped over his knees.

Obi-wan reached for the flask stationed on the floor. Nearly steady now.

His hands had not shaken as they brandished the dual weapons - his own and Adi’s. Backed against a wall, at impossible odds, the image of a fallen body playing on repeat -

He had been confident, steady as he jumped onto the back of Hondo’s speeder, even as his growing unease wrested against the heavy locked door. He had not shaken as he excused himself to one of Hondo’s last intact holding cells, stopping by the abandoned bar to swipe several bottles of alcohol likely made in some ‘fresher still.

A precautionary measure. He had felt fine, good even. Steady, focused in the Force.

Perhaps this time he had been able to banish that knot once and for all.

And then the closet burst open.

He nearly dropped the bottles - once, twice, three times. Only with the minor application of the Force had he been able to open the damned things, bringing the aperture to his lips, his swallows as desperate as those of a man stranded in the desert.

It had been an hour. Maybe two. He would need to report to the Council. Make arrangements for transport back to Republic space - for both himself and Adi’s body, he thought grimly.

Obi-wan lifted an arm.

Steady.

No tremor, no spasms. Not even a twitch.

Crimson threads gathered, contorting, a haphazard weave of guilt, anger, and sadness - no pattern, meaning, no reason why. 

(You know why, Kenobi).

Strong hands grabbed the traitorous little ball, shoving it to the back of the closet once again, the heavy door slamming shut with a dangerous finality.

Steady hands turned the lock as long, confident fingers cast the key far into the ether of his own mind.

Somehow, it always came back.

Hands. His hands. Which did not shake, did not waver - reached for the communicator buried in his utility belt.

Obi-wan sat straight. His vision remained fuzzy, his mind a delicate balance of temporary, blunted euphoria and rigid logic.

It would have to do for now.

With a sigh, he pressed the activator.

“This is General Kenobi…"

#okay here we.go #whumptober #Whumptober 1 #obi wan kenobi #star wars #writing #lightly edited #tw alcoholism #sorry obes #tomorrw will be a good omens fic #mostly bopping back and forth #and now #the gym

[fraternitae]

i’m gonna try and go into some of obi-wan’s mindset and why he is the way he is . . .  this will probably be a long post.  tw for suicidal ideation,  various mental health issues,  and a lot of discussion of trauma.

something that’s consistent with obi-wan kenobi is that he

a )  blames himself for the faults of others b )  is baffled or uncomfortable when people speak of him as important or valued

these are qualities intrinsic to who he is,  and they both stem from his difficult youth and history of repeated trauma.  as a child,  he was temperamental and headstrong,  and these qualities made him unwanted as a padawan.  he knew this.  at twelve he was staggeringly aware that if he couldn’t control his anger,  he was unwanted.  he was repeatedly rejected by qui-gon jinn,  and learned through that experience to temper and conceal his emotions,  as well as his need for approval and acceptance.  he constantly strived for perfection in everything,  becoming very rule - bound and harsh on himself as well as others in the process.

qui-gon eventually accepted him,  and even with a rocky start they became extremely close,  bonding into a father - son relationship.  through his apprenticeship,  obi-wan experienced several quite severe traumas. 

at 12 years old,  he was ready to sacrifice his life for qui-gon,  the man who had yet to accept him.  at 13,  he experienced another trauma in being attacked by firebeetles,  believing this too to be his own fault for being overconfident and losing focus.  at 17,  he witnessed a violent and sudden uprising, and thought qui-gon was giving up on him as an apprentice.  at 19,  he witnessed the torture and gruesome murder of tayvor mandirly.  

at 25,  he witnessed the death of his master after they got separated while battling a sith lord.  he believed qui-gon’s death to be his own fault,  that he hadn’t been fast enough to catch up to him,  nor strong enough to finish the battle quickly and save qui-gon.  he sat for several hours with the dead body of the only father he’d ever known in his lap,  knowing that his duty was now to train the chosen one.

he took on the task,  still believing that loss to be his own fault.  he felt enormously inadequate as a teacher.  the task of raising and teaching anakin skywalker was enormous,  daunting,  and difficult.  any fault of anakin’s he placed on himself,  to the point of this being seen as commonplace by the masters around him.  when anakin lost his arm at the hands of dooku,  he blamed himself.  when dozens of jedi died on geonosis,  he blamed himself. 

obi-wan kenobi suffers from an utter lack of self - worth.  he assumes everyone else sees him the way he sees himself.

during the clone wars,  his self - critical nature became less apparent as he hid his emotions deeper.  the republic needed a general,  so he became a brilliant general and ruthless warrior.   still he takes the most dangerous missions,  comes up with the most reckless tactics,  and each time something goes wrong he’s quick to blame himself and look for an answer. 

the clone wars took a heavy,  heavy toll on his mental health.  his lack of self - worth turned into a complete inability to see his own value,  even the value of his life.  he was alive solely because of his duty to the republic,  and because of anakin.  anakin needed him.  anakin cared about him,  loved him.  saw worth in him.  but even anakin had others.  ahsoka left,  and anakin was devastated.  obi-wan blamed himself for being unable to sway the council.  

at this point,  obi-wan is consistently passively suicidal.  he has no regard for the value of himself.  whenever someone even insinuates that he’s important,  he’s confused,  as if he doesn’t understand what other people see in him.  all he sees is his own failures and shortcomings,  as well as imagined ones he takes on because accepting his own helplessness when faced with the horror he experiences would ruin him completely. 

during his mission to wild space,  it becomes very clear to  ( among others )  bail organa that obi-wan is no stranger to harming himself.  he repeatedly refuses medical treatment and painkillers,  believing himself deserving of pain.  his favoured form of meditation involves pushing himself to the utter limits of physical endurance to focus.  when battling the sith holocron,  he actively seeks out pain to “clear his head”  -  something he doesn’t at all see as dysfunctional or negative.  it’s a fact of life to him.  

all this comes to a head when anakin falls.  when he sees the security recordings,  he explicitly expresses that he thinks he should have died on naboo.  he has no one left to live for,  nothing except the duty yoda gives him  -  a duty that very much keeps him alive,  in the end.  he asks yoda to send him after sidious because he knows sidious will kill him.  at that point in his life,  that is what he wants.  all his trauma,  his fighting,  his sacrifice,  ends with him in utter solitude,  with the only thing keeping him alive being luke skywalker.

obi-wan functions externally because his lack of self - worth is viewed by most others as the picture of jedi humility and humbleness.  in truth,  he’s distressed and exhausted and anxious most of the time,  pushing his own limits because absolute perfection is what he’s been trained to strive towards to even be wanted by others.

#𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲-𝐰𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐢 ! / ooc #tw SI #tw sucidal thoughts #tw mental health #/ this is ......heavy but. important

[pandora15]

Whumptober Day 11 Prompt: Stitches

(tw: mentions of blood)

“Help!”

Bant looked up from her holopad, eyes widening at the sight before her.

Carrying the limp form of his Padawan in his arms, Obi-Wan’s eyes were bright and frantic, a clear departure from the carefully constructed calmness she had seen from him ever since Master Qui-Gon died a few months ago.

In the beginning, she was so sure that Obi-Wan would fall apart at some point from the grief, but he held himself together, somehow.

Until now.

Jumping out of her chair, Bant rushed over to her friend, signaling to the Padawan healer to get a stretcher.

“What happened?” she asked, noting that Anakin was unconscious, his breaths pained and uneven.  There was blood on his right sleeve, a lot of it—enough to make her think that he had somehow nicked an artery.

“I’m not sure,” Obi-Wan replied, voice coming out in a rush.  “I wasn’t able to find him all day.  I only just found him like this in the hangar a few minutes ago.  It must have been an accident with one of the droids he was repairing, but...Bant, he’s losing a lot of blood.  I don’t know how long he’s been unconscious, or what exactly—”

“Obi-Wan,” she said firmly.  “It’s alright.  We’ll take care of him.”

She hadn’t seen him get this worked up in years, probably not since Master Tahl’s death and how that seemed to damage Obi-Wan’s relationship with his Master.

The stretcher arrived just then, and Obi-Wan deposited Anakin onto it.  Bant took a few steps to follow, then turned back to see Obi-Wan staring at her, eyes wide and desperate.

“I’ll let you know once we have an update,” she said.  “Don’t worry, alright?”

Obi-Wan let out a breathless laugh that trembled slightly.  “He’s my Padawan,” he replied.  “I have no choice but to worry.”

Pressing her lips together, Bant nodded, rushing back over to the stretcher.

-------------------------

Bant found Obi-Wan still in the waiting room an hour later.  There were dried blood stains on his robes, and his face was drawn and pale, revealing a sort of exhaustion she hadn’t noticed earlier.

When she approached him, Obi-Wan looked up at her expectedly.

Bant sat down next to him and smiled gently.

“He’ll be alright,” she said softly.  “The cut was long and deep, and I had to give him a few stitches.  He lost a fair amount of blood, which was why he was unconscious.”

“But what happened?” Obi-Wan asked, voice cracking.  “I only left him alone for a few hours; I didn’t think anything like this would happen.”

“It looks like an accident,” Bant said, shrugging slightly.  “Did you see anything sharp around him in the hangar?  A knife, a sharp piece of metal?”

Obi-Wan’s eyebrows furrowed.  “I don’t remember,” he murmured.  “I just saw him unconscious, and my first thought was to just...”

Swallowing, Obi-Wan moved his hands up to scrub at his face.

“Oh, Force,” he murmured, voice muffled.  “I don’t—”  He cut himself off with a sudden, sharp breath, kneeling forward to place his elbows on his knees.

He’s panicking.

“Obi-Wan?” she asked gently, reaching over to place a hand on his shoulder, trying to ground him.

Her friend shuddered, curling in on himself slightly.

“He could have died,” he whispered.  “I can’t—that can’t happen, Bant.  I don’t...I won’t be able to take it; I can’t even think about the possibility.”

“He’ll be alright,” she said soothingly, projecting calmness into the Force.  She squeezed his shoulder gently.  “It was a minor injury; these things happen, Obi-Wan.”

Nodding slowly, Obi-Wan pulled his hands away from his face and took a few deep breaths.

“Do you want to see him now?” Bant asked.

Obi-Wan nodded again and pulled himself up to his feet.

Together, they walked out of the waiting room.

----------------------------

The first thing Anakin noticed when he woke up was that his right arm really hurt.  Blinking, he stared down at it, surprised to see it wrapped in bandages.

“Anakin?”

Anakin jumped at the whispered voice, turning towards Bant, who smiled at him.  She brought a finger up to her lips, gesturing to the chair next to him.

Obi-Wan sat, fast asleep, breaths soft and even.  His Master was a bit of an insomniac, so it was a bit odd to see him asleep now, especially in the middle of the day.

“It looks like you accidentally cut yourself while working in the hangar,” Bant explained quietly, gesturing towards his arm.  “We had to give you a few stitches, since you were losing a fair amount of blood.”

Anakin nodded.  He remembered...the hangar, then pain.  Lots of it.

Then darkness.

Bant looked at Obi-Wan and smiled softly.  “He was really worried,” she said.  “It’s...Losing Master Qui-Gon was really difficult for him, as I’m sure you know.”

Anakin nodded again.  He’d seen the grief, as much as his Master tried to hide it.  The sleepless nights, the moments where Obi-Wan would look so sad and desperate whenever he thought Anakin wasn’t looking.

“I know,” he replied.

“Just...be careful, alright?  For Obi-Wan.”

Right.  He could do that.  How difficult could it be?

At some point, Anakin dozed off, waking up later to Obi-Wan looking intently at a datapad.

“Master?” he croaked, and Obi-Wan turned to him, eyebrows raised.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, putting the datapad on the table next to him and leaning forward to examine him carefully.  “You’re alright.  I—”

Tears slipped out of Obi-Wan’s eyes, sliding down his cheeks.  Anakin felt a jolt of surprise rush through him.  A part of him thought that Obi-Wan just didn’t have tear ducts or something.  The man never cried, not even after Master Qui-Gon’s funeral.

“Please, don’t do that again,” Obi-Wan murmured, rubbing quickly at his eyes.  “I cannot lose you, Anakin.”

“You won’t, Master,” Anakin replied, keeping his voice firm and sure.  “I promise.”

Of course, the next time Anakin sees Obi-Wan cry would be right after he breaks that promise on the burning shores of Mustafar, plunging the Force into terrible darkness.

(Pandora’s Whumptober 2019 Masterlist)

#whumptober2019 #whumptober #whump #pandora writes #no.11 #stitches #yeah so the stitches weren't really the focus at all here but idk #at the time i'm writing this i had a very difficult day and i needed some angst so #here we are #i tried okay? #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #bant eerin